


Misunderstandings

by Queenbookworm13



Category: Captain America - All Media Types, Iron Man - All Media Types, Marvel, The Avengers (2012), The Incredible Hulk - All Media Types, Thor - All Media Types, various mythologies and references to religion and lore
Genre: Avengers dealing with relationship issues, Childhood trauma talked about, Dealing with relationships, Feelings, M/M, Male Slash, Mind Control, Post Avengers (Movie), Psychological Trauma, Soul Bond, Soul-Bonding, Soulmates, Tesseract, Torture, some heavy themes discussed, violence described at times
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-02-05
Updated: 2017-06-14
Packaged: 2017-11-28 09:18:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 57
Words: 598,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/672776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Queenbookworm13/pseuds/Queenbookworm13
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><b>The Tesseract is fickle. The powers of revenge and hatred are strong. The bonding of two souls is even stronger.<br/></b><br/>What happens when Yggdrasil decides to fix what has been off balanced among the realms? How does it affect a SHIELD soldier trying to prove his loyalty and a fallen god?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Update 13.01.14: There are multiple relationships involved in this fanfiction; however, the main one is Clint and Loki, so I only tagged them. I have also changed some of the tags. Hopefully it'll be easier to find this now since it's not just movie verse based, it has a blend of the comics, cartoons, myths, etc all thrown in.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone! It has been several years since I have posted any of my fictions on a public site. I was talked into it by some friends. All mistakes are mine, I have no concept of grammar (still? You're an adult!). I apologise.
> 
> This was a request sent in by Rachel and brought to life by Jen. I hope to continuously meet their high expectations and surpass them. I only wish to entertain and for others to enjoy what I've created.

\----------------------1----------------------

Loki groaned as he slowly drifted back into consciousness. Everything hurt. His head swam with a heavy fog, intensifying the dull throbbing at the back of his skull; his body ached and he could feel bruises along his ribs every time he inhaled; his mouth felt as if it were stuffed with cotton balls and sandpaper; and his limbs! His legs felt like Jell-O and his arms were painfully numb.  
  
His eyes snapped opened to find darkness. His arms! He tugged on them and gasped looking up. Out of the corner of his eye could barely make out the outline of the thick material wrapped tightly around his wrists, extending a bit down his forearms. It was twisted and knotted to the metal rods of the headboard in a secure fashion, just above his head, and the more he tugged, the tighter it seemed to become.  
  
He braced himself and pulled his body up a bit more on the pillows behind his head. _Stay calm_ , he reminded himself, taking deep slow breaths and looking around while his eyes adjusted, faintly making out his surroundings. There was a high window, with bars of some sort, towards his left, a faint outline of a door to the right, and one chair a few feet away from the foot of the bed.  
  
The foot of the bed…  
  
Loki froze and looked down.  
  
He was lying on a mattress; naked save for a sheet draped over his lower half. A few lines of tubing were taped to his ankle and disappeared somewhere off under the end of the bed. He could tell they were connected to him; there was a bothersome pinch in his calf, possible fluids so he would not succumb to dehydration, and a very uncomfortable catheter stuffed up into his bladder.  
  
“Where the…?”  
  
“You awake?” a disabled voice garbled over a speaker somewhere to his far right. He looked up and saw a tiny red dot blinking from the corner…a camera…  
  
“It would seem…” he responded making a point to keep his eyes fixed upon the visual device and his raspy unused voice devoid of anything but mild sarcasm.  
  
“How do you feel.” It wasn’t a question, nor was the female demanding his response actually interested in his wellbeing.  
  
“Right as rain,” he smiled and relaxed into the bedding to prove his lie true. In fact, he felt anything but, and the constant pounding at the base of his head was starting to get under his skin. It was nagging: _Hello, you seem to be in some sort of pain and discomfort, allow me to stick around and make things a little worse. Just a reminder, I’m still here…I’m still here at the back of your skull…I’m still here sitting on your thoughts…I’m still here…_  
  
“Well that is not good.” He suppressed a smile. She was upset, and judging from the pitch of _her_ voice and the way _she_ spoke to him, he guessed it was the little spy _Widow_ herself, trying always to weave him into her little traps. Little did she know, he would always be there pulling the threads tighter around her while she laughed, inwardly, enjoying the illusion of having the upper-hand that he granted her.  
  
There was a loud buzzing sound from beyond the walls followed by prolonged silence. Loki laid there patiently waiting. Nothing came.  
  
 _Well that was mildly amusing…_ he mused just before a hissing sound came from the wall behind him and he felt something stick into the back of his neck. Pain (and he knew true pain) surged through him sharper than one of Thor’s lightning bolts. It bit and sung along his very marrow, making him shake and seize all over before he blacked out.

  
He awoke next with a gasp, shaking as if someone had pumped cold water into his veins. He squeezed his eyes shut and continued to draw air into his burning lungs. The light in the room had not really changed, but even the dim glow was harsh against his overly sensitive eyes. Whatever had been pushed into his system was messing with his perception. That is what they wanted, to keep him in a state of bothered and not in control of himself.  
  
 _Well I’ll show them…_ Loki thought slipping into a meditative state. _You can’t force a God to remain in his natural form without his consent…especially if his natural form is Chaos…_

\-------------------------------------------------

“What the hell Tasha!” Barton pulled her hand from the control panel for the second time that evening.  
  
“What? Fury said we shouldn’t let him stay in the coma for more than three hours at a time.” She shrugged her indifference looking back at the tiny view screen.  
  
“But you can’t just throw him into it and shock him out. Those chemicals are dangerous.”  
  
“To humans yes,” she folded her arms across her chest, eyes hungrily seeking the prisoner’s suffering.  
  
“And maybe even to gods, we’ve never had the chance to test it.”  
  
She looked at him then, studying his features and frowned. “Now we have the chance…why not test it?” She narrowed her eyes and stood a little straighter, body poised and alive to fight in an instant. “Are you feeling alright?”  
  
“Tasha!” He exclaimed and then looked around before dropping his voice and leaning in toward her more. “I’m fine. Stop bringing _it_ up. How many times do I have to tell you?”  
  
“Until I can look at you and stop thinking you’re going to leave me again.”  
  
Barton pressed his lips together and nodded once, setting a hand gently on her shoulder. “The first sign of the strange multi-coloured prism world, I’m coming to you for help.”  
  
“Don’t joke with me about that,” she pushed his hand off and headed for the door.  
  
“Tasha!” he called going after her. “I didn’t mean –”  
  
“I know what you meant, but still!” She stopped and slammed her fist into the wall. Several of the scientist and doctors stopped their work and backed away from her quickly. She took a moment to compose herself. “You don’t know…he has this way…”  
  
“Shhh…” He stepped forward and gathered her into his arms. “He wants you to think about it. Just forget his words.” Barton pulled her back a bit so that she could look into his eyes. “Forget him…he’s under my department now, you don’t have to come here ever again.”  
  
Natasha searched his face and nodded, stepping back to fully remove herself from his arms. “Just…if you feel…I…” she tried and he saw her hard shell slipping. She would never forgive him if he let her break down in front of other people.  
  
“I promise. I will inform you first and remove myself quickly.”  
  
She nodded again seeming satisfied with his answer and left. The door slid shut behind her with a loud hiss and the locks groaned as they twisted into place.  
  
“Agent Barton,” one of the chemists presented themselves next to him, a glass tablet with vial sign readouts in hand. “The prisoner…he seems to be stabilising, however these readings are suggesting otherwise.”  
  
“Let me have a look at them,” he reached for the devise and made his way back to his post.

\-------------------------------------------------

It took less than probably five minutes of good meditation for Loki to realise that whatever was being injected into him was causing the throbbing in the base of his skull. It took twenty for him to piece that it was blocking him from using magic. Not blocking…more a chemical masking. He would eventually find the source and bend his body to adapt to the formula until he gained enough sustained energy to propel it from his system and escape. It would take a few days, but he could be a patient man…especially if wicked plans were involved.  
  
 _Yes…_ he mentally sighed restraining a devilish smile as a familiar tingle ran up his spine. He quickly glanced in the direction of the camera and then closed his eyes again. _My little Hawk…my clever little Hawk…_  
  
The wall behind him hissed and he welcomed the darkness that overtook his senses.

\-------------------------------------------------

A full week passed before Fury became restless: a new record.  
  
“What do you mean he’s not talking?”  
  
“When he is awake they ask the questions you provided. If his vitals show that he is stabilising too quickly, I hit him with another dose and he’s out cold. He keeps silent more often than naught.”  
  
“Let me see his files.” Barton handed his boss the screen and sent over the files from his main computer. Fury spent a few minutes reviewing the transcripts and recordings, all the while frowning. He sighed and finally returned the viewer to the agent. “Just…the council wants to see progress with this interrogation…or I have no choice but to hand him over to Thor.”  
  
“Speaking freely, the council would rather have him killed,” he crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back in his swivel chair looking up at the director.  
  
“Speaking freely, I could give a fuck less.” They both shared a small smile. “I only have one more week.” Fury’s face retired back into its usual sombre expression.  
  
“I will try as hard as I can.”  
  
Fury nodded. “Do you think you can handle a personal visit?” He looked serious and held his hands behind his back. “Just one mind you. No violence, just talking. He gives me the sense that he secretly is a personal person...” he scoffed and shook his head. “or at least that’s what he wants me to believe.”  
  
“I will do as you ask.”  
  
“Then I leave you too it. See you tomorrow.” He turned calling for other agents as he headed for the door.  
  
It hissed and groaned, leaving Barton to his work.  
  
“You spend a few minutes of personal time with him,” the agent muttered darkly as he began flipping switches and punching in buttons and codes to schedule the requested meeting. “See how much you like it…” He ignored the, now too familiar, tightening in his chest that occurred whenever he dwelt on Loki or the Tesseract too deeply.


	2. Chapter 2

\----------------------2----------------------

  
  
Loki resurfaced to find the room fully lit and a person leaning against wall opposite him. He hid his face as best as he could, but the florescent lighting was still too much.  
  
“Too bright?” He recognised that voice.  
  
Smiling he replied, “Perhaps, but it is rather nice…” he stretched a bit and pointedly looked at the man across from him. “My little Hawk…”  
  
Barton involuntarily flinched but kept his facial features smooth. “Loki,” he nodded his head in polite greeting.  
  
“What do I owe the pleasure of this _personal_ visit?” He strung the words and left them hanging in the air between them.  
  
“Checking up on you.”  
  
“Oh come now, let us not forget that I am the God of Lies,” he smiled slightly annoyed.  
  
“Forgot,” Barton shrugged taking a few steps to the chair. “Can I sit?”  
  
Loki shrugged and sardonically replied, “I was not aware you were no longer able too.”  
  
“ _May_ I sit?”  
  
“If you would rather, then I suppose you _may_.”  
  
Barton ignored the edge to his tone and spun the chair around, sitting in it astride, and crossed his arms on the back of it. “So…” Loki raised an inquisitive brow. “Taking over the world…how’d that go?”  
  
The god had to resist rolling his eyes, was he really going to have to sit and wait it out until the Hawk told him what he was actually doing in his prison cell?  
  
“It went along swimmingly until you and the _‘Spice Girls’_ banded together and ruined my fun.”  
  
Clint frowned quickly piecing together the reference. Their trip to Germany, he had explained some of Earth to Loki, who had inquired about celebrities in magazines he had acquired. He’d seemed a bit too interested in the _Spice Girls_ reunion, for some strange reason, but mind-controlling spells and brain-washing Tesseract voices in his head didn’t leave much room for Barton to ponder on it at the time.  
  
“So you remember…” Barton looked up from his reverie into those all too knowing crystal eyes.  
  
“I remember,” he whispered and cleared his throat. “I remember everything.”  
  
“ _Everything_?” The God of Chaos purred and bent his right leg upon on the bed.  
  
“Everything.” Barton replied breathless. Loki laughed softly and broke their gaze.  
  
Instantly Clint stood from his chair and shook his head. _Keep it together Barton!_ He reminded himself. _He’s doing this on purpose! Remember, Tasha and Fury are watching you. Prove he can’t get to you._  
  
“So what are you really here for?”  
  
“I told you, checking up on you.” He kept his back to the god, hoping it would make things easier. The room suddenly felt too small for two people to be in it at once.  
  
“Very well,” Loki sighed and relaxed his leg back down. “I will allow this lie to slide this one time.” He looked pointedly and Barton’s back. “I feel perfectly fine.”  
  
“I’ll allow that lie to slide this one time.” Clint smirked and clasped his hands behind his back. “Why aren’t you answering any of the other officer’s questions?”  
  
“I do not _need_ too, therefore I will not.” Loki smiled then. “Besides, I am not fond of talking to strangers and being ignored…you of all people should know, considering you sit there every day watching _me_.” Barton shrugged nonchalantly. Loki narrowed his eyes; he was going to have to dig deeper. “Are you sated now?”  
  
“From?”  
  
“Revenge…” Loki rolled the word in his mouth before letting it drip from his lips sensually.  
  
“Ah…” He turned with a soft smile. “Revenge isn’t my thing.”  
  
“You would like to believe that. I can feel you wrapping yourself in that false sense of security you cloak your true feelings under. Tell me, did it taste good? The first time you pushed that button, driving the needle into my skin, pushing the toxic chemicals into my system. Did it taste the same…” he let his voice drop low. “…the same as when you pushed other things into me?”  
  
Barton swallowed and started at the floor.  
  
“Was it better? Having complete control over yourself: your actions, your thoughts, your feelings, letting the sensations embrace your mortal body fully – was it better than _everything_?”  
  
“I know what you’re doing, and it won’t work.” Clint looked at the space above Loki’s head and took a step forward. “Now tell –”  
  
“Or do you miss it?” Loki continued on. “Do you miss me telling you what to do? What to think, what to feel, what to touch?” He licked his bottom lip suggestively. “Taste?”  
  
Years of service and training had taught him how to control his body and emotions, however, Barton had never been forced to deal with something so personal in such an exposed and public way. He could barely keep himself from shaking. _He’s doing this on purpose. Show Tasha he doesn’t control you._ He looked down, taking a slow calming breath before opening his mouth to try again.  
  
“Look at me Clint.” His eyes snapped up to find hypnotising sky blue orbs drinking him in. They were brilliant, spell-binding, bursting with all the pain of the world clouded by all the mischief of a child: the ever-open gateway into the ever-twisting soul.  
  
“I like your eyes this way…” Loki whispered studying him. “They prove you really do have heart.”  
  
Anger. Hot boiling anger surged from some unknown pit in the depths of Barton’s lower gut and slapped him full in the face. He growled lunging at the bed, gripping Loki’s throat.  
  
Loki: the man who had taken his freedom away. Loki: the weaver of silver coated lies. Loki: the god saturated in deception and chaos. Loki: the prisoner of his own lonely mind.  
  
Clint stopped suddenly and released the smooth neck beneath his fingers. Loki’s choking turned into deep coughs, he was shaking, his eyes wide and wet.  
  
Wide…opened wide…he shivered as a cold sensation swept through him.  
  
“BARTON!” Fury’s voice snapped over the communicator. “Step back, and get the _fuck_ out of that room, _now_!”  
  
He did as he was told, never removing his eyes from the god’s. Loki did the same, even after his coughing had subsided and he was trying to slow his breathing. He knew…he had to have known…or…  
  
The door hissed behind him and he felt someone yank him into the hall just as Loki’s body convulsed, relaxing into the chemically induced coma.  
  
“If you are compromised I swear to everything I’ll kick your ass, right this second, until you’re dead!” Natasha hissed throwing him against the wall.  
  
“What?” he asked confused and then shook himself realising he couldn’t see particularly straight.  
  
“Y’know, the ‘strange multi-coloured prism world’, are you in there?”  
  
“No, I’m here.” Barton shook his head and slid to the floor.  
  
“Clint!?” She started checking him, worry written all over her face.  
  
“I’m just…I feel weird…I think…I think I touched the patch on the back of his neck…that’s all.” He looked up at her and smiled. “Remember? It makes you feel off for a bit, the girl that goes in and checks his signs did it the other day.”  
  
Tasha gave him a sceptical look but didn’t have time to press him further; Fury was marching down the hall: glare set to “death ray”.  
  
“Director Fury,” they both saluted.  
  
“Romanoff,” he nodded to her. “And what do you think you were doing Barton?” He rounded on him.  
  
“I’m sorry sir, I know I had a script to follow but he’s not transparent, he knows when you are lying.”  
  
“He knows when _you_ are lying.” He folded his arms across his chest and leaned back on his left leg more. “Now is there something you forgot to tell me in your report before I cleared you to come back to work? Something about ‘ _everything_ ’, care to share?”  
  
Barton looked down at his knees and tightly replied, “No sir, _everything_ was in the report.”  
  
“Well this _everything_ doesn’t sound like the _anything_ I read,”  
  
“I assure you sir; he was just trying to twist my mind.” He pushed himself off the floor, brushing off Natasha’s help and faced his superior. “I tried playing his game, and it seems I still am unaware of some of the rules, sir. I apologise for this.”  
  
Fury regarded him, “I’ll let this slide, and it’s off the record anyways…Stark is heading in to try and talk to him in three days.” He relaxed his body a bit and set a comforting hand upon Clint’s shoulder. “Get yourself to the medical ward, there might have been some of the chemicals on the back of his neck, you don’t want those in your system.”  
  
He nodded. “Thank you, sir.”  
  
Fury looked him over once more before turning and heading off in the other direction.  
  
“Come on,” Natasha put her arm around his waist and turned him toward the Med-ward.

\-------------------------------------------------

  
  
  
“Barton…” a voice called to his left. Soft fingers threaded through his hair. “Clint…” they tried again, this time running their knuckles down his cheek. “My little hawk…”  
  
He snapped his eyes opened. “Loki!?” He sat up in full alert mode: engines running, systems at maximum, muscles flexing for a fight. Clint was stripped bare save for his tight black uniform pants, an IV was tapped up his right arm, and there were heart monitor patches on his upper chest. He chanced a quick glance around the room, _Damn..._ , it was empty except for the two of them. He glared back at the man before him.  
  
Loki was sitting near his feet, one leg bent in front of him, his arms draped around it, and his cheek resting to the side on his arm, deep azure eyes curiously watching him. He was dressed in black fitted-suede pants and an asparagus green flaxen tunic that flowed to mid-thigh. The collar was unlaced and his sleeves hung to his wrists with a slight flare. The pale lips played out a crooked smile, “You arise at last.”  
  
“How…how did you get out?”  
  
The god laughed, it was elegant. “I am where you left me.”  
  
“Then…this is a –”  
  
“Dream.”  
  
“I was going to say nightmare, but I suppose it’s all in perspective.” He shrugged laying back down.  
  
“Oh a nightmare?” Loki challenged, mischievous grin flashing. He slithered up the bed over Barton and stretched out twisting some of Clint’s short brown hair and purring in his ear, “If your nightmares involve me, you must adore sleeping…”  
  
The archer shivered and closed his eyes. “I long for it,” he played along, running his hands down the raven’s sides.  
  
Loki pushed them away, sitting up astride his lap, narrowing his eyes. “Lies…” He snorted softly with distain. “If there is one thing I despise it is someone lying to me.”  
  
“Well you would know having to do it to yourself all of the time.” He turned his face away, knowing he’d struck a nerve, but he didn’t care. If this was a nightmare, dream, whatever – he would wake from it soon.  
  
The dark haired man regarded him thoughtfully for a moment. “So…you felt _that_ as well?”  
  
Barton nodded looking at him.  
  
“Do you have any idea what it means?”  
  
Barton shook his head slowly.  
  
“It means…you are in deep trouble…and I…” he paused and searched for the best words. “And I am…well I suppose you could say I am forced to _behave_.”  
  
“So…in deep trouble?”  
  
Loki shrugged and stretched out over Barton again, “I suppose it is all according to perspective.”  
  
“Why are you here?”  
  
“You called for me.” He hummed inhaling contently against Barton’s throat.  
  
He shivered and wet his dry lips. “I didn’t call for you.”  
  
“Oh, but you did,” Loki tapped Clint’s nose before stretching up to flicking his tongue out to lick it. “You were very loud…” he drummed his fingers on the agent’s heart. “ _Very_ loud…”  
  
Barton looked down at where Loki had started to slowly trace runes along his sternum. He sighed frustrated. “Branding me with your magic?”  
  
“You are able to read the ancient tongue?” Loki withheld his mild surprise.  
  
“Yes, my mind was connected to the Tesseract once; I’m a fast learner. Now stop writing your name on my skin, it’s making me feel…” he turned his head away and grimaced. “…sick.”  
  
The god rolled his eyes and sat up again. “I will be waking up soon.”  
  
“Yeah, good for you. Maybe my nightmare will shift into a dream.”  
  
“A dream of the sexual nature?” Loki mused tracing his lips with a smile. “How very interesting…it is even more interesting that you choose one with Stark instead of the Widow…”  
  
“Get out of my head.” Barton warned darkly.  
  
“Oh but I am not in your head.” Loki smartly retorted. “I am in your heart.” He tilted his head starting at Clint, considering his words more than the man beneath him.  
  
“Get out of my feelings then!”  
  
“Are you actually attracted to the same sex instead of the opposite, as I had previously assumed?” Loki corked his eyebrow a bit surprised before his mood shifted. “And all that time I felt guilty for making you lay with me. Oh I should have known,” he sneered slamming his hands down on either side of Barton’s face. “‘ _Be gentle with me, master, this is my first time._ ’ – oh of all the lies – I should have seen that one beating me in the face!”  
  
“I didn’t lie.”  
  
“No, not completely, but I know now that I was not the first to claim you.” He pulled at Barton’s hair and tilted his head back. “Who was it!?” He spit, blood surging with fire.  
  
“You know who it was – you can _feel_ it,” Barton bit back, pushing Loki off to the side away from him. He sat up completely and shifted to the edge of his bed.  
  
Loki paused and looked off as if deep in thought. “Oh…” he quietly looked down at the bed and swallowed. “Is that…why you killed him?”  
  
“No…I did it for my…my brother…” he leaned his elbows on his knees and buried his face in his hands. “I don’t want to talk about this.”  
  
They were silent for a time.  
  
“I must leave…” Loki leaned forward and gently touched Clint’s shoulder. “I…I meant no offence…I…although I was not originally the first to have you…I am honoured that you trusted me enough and chose me as the first to _be_ with you.”  
  
“Yeah, well with my free will in your hands and the Tesseract whispering shit in my head, I wouldn’t really say it was a _personal_ choice.” He countered bitterly.  
  
Loki gave Barton’s back a weak smile. “If you wish to think it as such…” he retracted his hand away from him. “Then I shall bear the burden of such an atrocious crime…and I will always endeavour your forgiveness.”

\-------------------------------------------------

  
  
  
Barton woke with a surge of pain. He gripped his chest and sat up groaning as a heavy weight settled into his bones.  
  
“Clint?” it was Natasha, sitting next to him, worry marring her features again.  
  
“I’m fine,” he patted her arm reassuringly. “I’m fine…” he laid back and relaxed into a dreamless sleep.  


 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the ridiculous amount of tags and for not having certain things tagged. I'm not used to using them, and things like that slip my mind. If you find anything else that should also have a tagplease let me know. Thanks!
> 
> If you find any errors, they are all my fault. I apologise.
> 
> But I hope you enjoyed this chapter!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Editing this one to fill in plot holes was a challenge! I hope things make more sense now.  
> All mistakes are my own. I do not own any of the characters.  
> Enjoy everyone!

\----------------------3----------------------

  
  
“How is he?” Fury asked from the door of the Medical Ward, not too long after Barton had fallen back into another fitful sleep that evening.

 

Natasha shrugged and wiped his brow with a wet cloth. “I don’t know…he keeps muttering in his sleep, and he’s woken up a few times shaking and looking around as if expecting someone to be here.” She set the cloth down on the side table, took up a paper cup, and set a melting ice chip against Barton’s dry lips; wetting them before letting it slip into his mouth. He swallowed reflexively and rolled to his side a bit with a small moan.

 

“His heart rate is normal again?”

 

“For the time being, but his fever is still too high,” she sighed and adjusted the blanket around his hips once more before standing.

 

Fury shook his head and went to stand beside her. “It’s the same with the prisoner.”

 

“I could care less about _him_ ,” she spat and crossed her arms over her chest. “He’s the reason for Clint’s current state.”

 

“If Agent Barton had done what was instructed of him and _not_ attacked a registered war-criminal, _then_ he would not be where he is now.” Fury noticed Natasha flinch and softened his voice. “At least we got the chemicals off of him before they could do any more damage…”

 

“How…” she cleared her throat. “How long do you think he will be out?”

 

“The doctor said they usually resurface after a few days,” the director put his hand on her shoulder and gave a comforting squeeze. “He’ll be off-duty for a week when he gets out of here…I need you to look after him.”

 

“You don’t have to order me too…” she whispered as he turned and left the room. Clint shifted and groaned gripping his chest again. Natasha quickly went to his side and soothed him. “I’m here,” She wiped his face with the cloth and held his hand. “Clint, I’m here…you’re safe…”

 

“Tash….” He mumbled before falling back into some sort of stilled-peace for a while. .

\-------------------------------------------------

 

 

 

“I can’t get anything out of him. He didn’t even say anything when I trashed his outfit and pointed out he had a tube in his –”

 

“Thank you, Mr. Stark.” Fury cut him off as they continued down the hall toward the main deck.

 

“Look, all I’m saying is, we can’t hold him forever, and that formula isn’t supposed to be used as often as it is being administered. It’s starting to –”

 

“Thank you, Stark. You are dismissed.” He waved his hand and joined Agent Hill, who was waiting patiently for him with a viewing screen.

 

Tony stopped in the middle of the hall taken-aback. “Well,” he huffed offended and flipped his hand out sharply. “You are dismissed as well!” He spun and headed towards his quarters to sulk.

 

 _Stupid Fury and his stupid ego and being in charge…_ he fumed in his head as he thought of a thousand ways to damage expensive equipment to make the director of S.H.I.E.L.D. pay. _Pepper wouldn’t like that._ He made a face and then shrugged. It didn’t matter, Pepper wasn’t on board.

 

Just as he was rounding the last corner, he noticed a door open just ahead. While it was _not_ uncommon for anyone on the Hellicarrier to leave the door to their sleeping quarters open, as invitation for friends to walk in and hang out, it _was_ uncommon for someone on the newly formed Avenger-Class side to. They highly valued their privacy, fought hard for it, and even took extreme measures to keep Fury’s security camera system out of their space.

 

Curious, Stark stalked forward until he could catch a glimpse of the inside. It was dark…if he only could…

 

“Tony.” He jumped and turned to find Banner exiting from a door just ahead of him.

 

“Brucy!” he smiled pushing aside the unaccustomed guilty feeling of being caught. “I was just heading to the lab; want to help me blow something up?”

 

“Now Tony, remember what happened last time?”

 

“Yeah, but this time, I was thinking we could keep the blueberries away from the burner. Y’know? Because science and food sometimes mix but most of the time not really.”

 

Banner laughed rubbing the back of his neck. “Alright,” he sighed finally looking into his friend’s eyes. “I guess I can try keeping you out of trouble.”

 

“Trouble, me?” he asked innocently and began walking toward the lab. “I don’t even know what that word means. Is that English?”

 

“Exactly!” Bruce fell into step next to him and they continued their playful banter out of sight.

 

Barton exhaled and relaxed back into his hammock. He had been so preoccupied and exhausted from his trip to the Med-ward he had forgotten to close his door before he passed out.

 

“Well that won’t happen again,” he mumbled hopping down and hitting the button to seal himself in complete darkness.

 

His rooms had always been small and simple. He never needed anything big or fancy. He grew up without wanting a lot, surrounded by the extravagant and whimsical, swaddled in bright flashy colours and loud noises. No, Barton preferred the subtle and uncomplicated style of his rooms in the Hellicarrier and back on base.

 

They were almost identical, from the black hammock against the window, to the mound of pillows in the far right corner near the bookcases, set into the wall, just a few inches from the door. His dresser was against the far wall under the giant TV screen, and the closet across from his hammock was home to his beloved bows and precious arrows. His bathroom was across from the TV and the small room off to the left at the entrance was a tiny kitchen he was allowed as a senior agent.

 

Clint sighed and stripped down to just his pants and socks, before climbing into the hammock and letting his momentum swing him back into his thoughts. The interview was off the record. That was good news. What had happened in there, however, was both befuddling and overwhelming.

 

First, he had lost his temper. He had not truly lost control of his emotions in a long time…not since his brother’s death. Second, he had triggered something deep inside himself that, in turn, awoke something inside Loki. He closed his eyes and wandered back to that moment.

 

Anger. Heart-racing. Mind fumbling. Primal need to overpower, to show control. Hatred. Not belonging. Lies. His free will gone. Chaos. Loneliness. Smooth cool skin shaking under his burning calloused hands. Fear. Magic crackling. Opened. Rush of heat. Tears. Wide. Trusting. Pleading. Pain. Brilliant life. Adoration. Mischief. Love...

 

What had he thought when he had really let himself look into Loki’s eyes?

 

“The ever-open gateway into the ever-twisting soul…” he mumbled picking at his lower lip.

 

Electricity had run through them both; he felt his own hands, like a ghost’s, upon his own throat. He felt his heart beating inside of his body, and outside as if it belonged to another. He had felt a small plea of forgiveness, of wishing to end the eternal misery. A deep swelling of lust, of wanting – _craving_ – to be used in the darkest and most unspeakable of ways; of stinging pleasures and sorrowful relief wrapping around his soul in silk and barbed wire. It happened so fast, he felt as if he’d been shot.

 

He thought he _had_ been shot. The empty ache that gathered in his being after he had let go was just the same as having a bullet lodged in his side.

 

Cold fingers traced down the side of his neck and he shivered opening his eyes.

 

“Another nightmare?” Loki murmured from his seated position atop Clint’s lap.

 

“I didn’t realise I’d fallen asleep…” he breathed as Loki leaned down pressing their foreheads together. He glanced at those soft pale lips, they were so close…

 

Always so near…

 

Within the past few days, Loki had come to him in his dreams, always dressed the same, always the similar dialog exchanged, always the smallest amount of touching. So close yet teasingly far enough out of his reach.

 

He loathed it at the beginning. The first time he had showed up in Clint’s nightmare they had argued until the assassin was painfully pinned under the remains of a temple, realising he was not waking up, took Loki’s offered hand and whispered promises of safety. The next time he had hesitated, but gave in after a few words of encouragement, and in no time at all the first sight of him he’d jump willing into his direction and clasp his hand or accept his opened arms.

 

It was horrible! With each cycle they went through this sudden need to be around the god grew and was starting to overpower his other instincts. The ache at not having his touch or words drifting to his ears left him restless and constantly confused.

 

This was the man who had taken everything Clint had worked so hard for in the blink of an eye. Caged his mind; rewired his thoughts; possessed his body; gifted him with unwanted affections; thrusted and yanked desires, locked deep within his soul, to the surface; pushed him to a breaking point; and then abandoned his perfect creation.

 

Clint wanted him dead; wanted him to suffer the way that he suffered once the connection had been severed. He wanted Loki to feel the empty ache and loss, the driving hunger to be held, craving for his cool touch again. He wanted to be accepted in the intimate way that they had established and only completely understood each other. Barton wanted the god to be obsessed with him as much as he was to his former master.

 

The Tesseract’s main controlling effect might have passed, but his feelings for Loki had never wavered, no matter how he tried ignoring them. Barton thought working as head observer and lead agent over Fury’s hostile-interrogation chambers would have helped him get over his feelings for the god, maybe even after he had returned to Asgard with his brother, but…

 

 “What’s happening to me?” Clint breathed closing his eyes with a heavy sigh. His mind was a jumble of imagines and sensations that did not all belong to him. He knew the god was shifting through them, just as he was in turn, examining each piece carefully, before sorting it into a correct place. _This is me. That is yours. Here is mine. These are you…_

Loki hesitantly touched his face, gently brushing his features and trailing the chilly tips of his fingers down his neck again. “Where those places real?”

 

He didn’t answer right away. Instead he settled himself more into his bed and swallowed. “Yes.”

 

“Memories?”

 

“Yes,” he opened his eyes and looked at him. “I’m not sure what affect the solution has on you, but to humans it’s a device used to torture them into eventually telling S.H.I.E.L.D. what they want so that they can stop reliving their most feared and horrifying failings in life repeatedly.”

 

“For one so young, you have seen such suffering.”

 

“Maybe to a god, but I’m not technically young on Earth.”

 

Loki pulled back a bit and thought of this for a second. “You’re right…by calculations, if I was to have been born of this realm, I would be only a few years younger than you.”

 

“Funny how the universe works, huh?”

 

“The universe is not a funny place.” Something in the god’s tone made Clint pause and consider his words.

 

“What are your fears?”

 

The trickster frowned and shook his head. “I have none.”

 

“You’re a liar.”

 

Loki smirked sadly and gently replied, “I know.”

 

There was a sudden pain within their chests. They both hissed and touched the sore spot just off centre from their sternum. These assaults had started right about the time they had begun speaking within their ‘dreams’. The attacks were spontaneous and crept up sparingly during their conversations, or often within the few hours Clint had actually been awake.

 

It would make his teeth hurt; the searing pain jagging its way down his bones and disappearing after lingering long enough to make him dizzy and want to lie down. Not long afterward he would fall back asleep and a cool touch from Loki would banish all traces of the mysterious affliction from them both.

 

It had to be a contact thing. Not just a “hey let me poke your shoulder” or “let’s link arms for a bit”, but an actual soothing intimate touch. Barton figured he’d test this theory out before the painful jittering in his limbs drove him insane. He slid his hands up the god’s thighs and pulled him closer, tilting his head up until their lips where barely a whisper apart. He could feel Loki shutter and looked back up into his ocean blue eyes.

 

 “Careful little hawk…” he breathed in warning, moving his hands down to rest over Clint’s pounding heart; a look mixed of concentrating on masking the pain and shy curiosity hung across his features.

 

“Shut up…” he growled and captured those petal silk lips with his own. A typhoon of ice washed over him, numbing the foreign sensation within him, and set his skin in waves of goose pimples followed shortly by a strange distant heat…it didn’t feel like it was touching him…but…

 

Loki sighed above him and shuttered again, fisting his short hair and pulling his head back more, deepening the kiss. Clint flicked his tongue along the god’s bottom lip, and bit not too gently, until he felt Loki’s cold tongue slip out and meet his; twisting and stroking, fighting to taste the inside of the other’s mouth.

 

They pulled apart slowly; Barton gasping as Loki deliberately dragged his tongue laggardly along the roof of Clint’s opened mouth before licking his swollen lips, humming. Clint felt his stomach clinch and he leaned forward, mouthing the raven’s long ivory throat in sloppy kisses.

 

“Do you really think you should be doing this?” Loki gasped cradling the brunette’s head closer to his neck.

 

“No,” he mumbled biting down and giving the skin a small tug so bruises would bloom across it. Loki’s breath hitched deliciously and he ground his hips down into Barton’s.

 

“Yes!” Clint hissed gripping the god’s ass, kneading it as he buried his face in a pale cool shoulder. A jumbled wave of sensations and images, not all belonging to him, swept over his mind and he pulled back to grip the sides of his head and squeezed his eyes shut.

 

These bursts would often be accompanied by a high-pitched noise that brought a migraine along to stay for a bit. It would take him a while afterward to figure out which thoughts were parts of his consciousness and which obviously came from the trickster.

 

Once the tangled mess had quieted down, he opened his eyes to find Loki doing the same; only how he could make something so painful look so elegant was beyond Barton’s comprehension.

 

“I can’t think straight…” he sighed frustrated and the trickster made a noise of understanding agreement. “I just…” he shook his head and laid back against his pillow. “…feel! That’s all I’ve been doing since I attacked you! One stupid emotion after the other and now I don’t know if they are completely mine or yours! What _is_ going on between us!?”

 

Loki brushed some of Barton’s hair back soothingly and leaned down to lay his head upon his shoulder. “It has been no more than a day, you must relax and –”

 

“Three.” his voice was flat and he frowned unhappily.

 

“Pardon me?” Loki sat up gracefully and stared seriously down at Clint trying to absorb his words.

 

“It has been three days since our interview.”

 

“You have been in the Healing Wing for three days?”

 

“I touched the patch on the back of your neck, I had –”

 

“No shush!” Loki put his long fingers against Barton’s lips and closed his eyes focusing. “I do not have much time before I am woken.”

 

“Stay with me,” Clint grabbed Loki’s wrist and found himself kissing the tip of each slim finger; part of him ignoring the voice in the back of his head screaming at him that all of this was wrong, and the other part embracing the phantom thrill that ran along his spine. “Tell me what’s going on?”

 

“I cannot now. If I am going to be able to fully comprehend any of this, I need to focus. If my magic was not being covered up then I could lie in bed organising the nature of what has occurred…and fool with you in your mind all day.” He growled leaning down and pulled Barton up by his chin to meet his waiting greedy mouth.

 

He shivered and let the god explore him with a skilled tongue that implied familiarity, which made him angry for a second. His mind swirled again with the train wreck of sensations and he pulled away to inhale sharply as an image of Fury holding a scalpel and faint screaming slipped into his mind.

 

Loki soothed his palm over Clint’s forehead and the image was gone. He blinked a few times. “What was that?”

 

“What was what?”

 

“That…I…I don’t remember…” he frowned and shook his head. “Was that…magic?”

 

Loki smirked deviously. “No archer, I am merely incredibly talented with my tongue due to practice.”

 

“No…I mean…the…” he motioned before his face and gave up after the god raised an eyebrow. “Never mind…I’m going crazy.” He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “Don’t leave.”

 

“You wish for me now?” Loki’s voice held an equal blend of confusion and curiosity.

 

He didn’t know how to describe it. He hated him, but he…wanted him? He shook his head again and hurriedly replied, “What if the nightmares come back?”

 

The trickster gave him a flat ‘allow-me-a-moment-for-you-jest’ look. “You appear fine. When I found you this time were you not safe and unaware you had even fallen into sleep?”

 

“I…” Clint hesitated and then clamped his mouth shut. They stared at each other for a brief second and then they were moving forward.

 

Barton hated, but oddly respected himself for making these sudden unexpected life choices. Where had his sense of self-preservation and control gone? This was the man he was supposed to wish dead! This was the man with his teeth tugging at his bottom lip in a way that drove him completely insane!

 

He growled and began rolling his hips upward, knowing this was a game he would not loose. Loki swallowed a strangled noise and gripped Barton’s shoulders tightly. “Fury will be extremely surprised when he walks in to interrogate me and I am wound up ready to rut.”

 

“Is he sending everyone in to question you?”

 

“No, the Widow, Hulk, and Thor are not permitted.” He spat each name as if they were poisonous.

 

“Have a call from the Captain yet?”

 

“Mr. Spangly-Super-Grand-Tight-Pants?” Loki chuckled with an elegant moan, “oh yes…”

 

Clint stopped and pulled back from him. “I saw _and_ felt that!”

 

The god of mischief shrugged. “If you are allowed to have coitional thoughts of Stark, then why can I not have a few harmless carnal desires of…the _Captain_?” he savoured the last word licking his lips slowly.

 

Clint frowned and shook his head as a sweep of chocolate coated lust rolled along his body and settled in his stomach. He sat up and pushed Loki gently away from him. “I changed my mind. I actually need space. Just the other day I was ready to punch an arrow through your eye and now I’m getting jealous over something stupid. Not to mention I’m letting you back into my thoughts _and_ my bed.”

 

“If this interesting complex rope devise is allowed to be called a bed,” he looked around superiorly disinterested in the thing.

 

Clint snorted and swung down from it, “Just stay out of my head until I figure out what’s going on within myself first.”

 

“Very well…” Loki folded his arms and loudly sighed wistfully. “I have to wake in a moment regardless…”

 

Barton rolled his eyes. The man could be such a diva sometimes…particularly when he was not getting his way or his feelings were hurt.

 

“Have fun with your next questioner,”

 

He rolled his eyes and muttered, “I’m screaming with anticipation already.”

 

“What?”

 

But Loki had already vanished and a sickening sensation was sweeping its way across his body. He woke up with a cry, leaning over the side of his hammock and emptied his stomach as waves of phantom pains rolled around his mind.

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the mega delay! My laptop had to be sent out for repairs and I have been bumming off other people's computers for a week now. To make up for it, while I was editing this one, I started writing a IronMage/FrostIron fic. I'm currently sitting in a library editing smutty fanfiction on a giant computer screen with my back turned toward the door. 
> 
> This is the extent of my love for everyone and my wholehearted apology for this chapter taking forever! Expect that one to come before the end of the week.
> 
> All mistakes are my own. I do not own anything Marvel or the characters. Enjoy!

\----------------------4----------------------

 

The arrow sung as it cut the air and embedded itself in the heavy padded swinging bundle. Barton continued to release his quiver upon the practice targets, jumping and rolling around the moving platforms as the automated machine shifted around him; throwing the false enemies into his wake. He stabbed the one flying at his head, pulled the arrow out and launched it at another across the way. When he had run out of ammo, he withdrew his knives and began spinning and slashing at his targets; slicing the bags to ribbons and piles of heavy cotton.

Three days. He was fuming. Three whole fucking days. He was not cleared for work; he was banned from all forms of observation and input regarding other missions; he couldn’t contact the other members of the team, save for Natasha, until his final examination; and there had been no word from Loki. Clint didn’t know what made his anger worse: the fact that he was bored as hell or that he had started to miss the magical bastard.

He threw his blades as hard as he could and let them jam within the metal panels of the opposite wall, before yelling out his frustration and collapsing to the ground. He drew his knees up and hung his head between them. He was just so physically and mentally spent. He hadn’t slept. He _couldn’t_ sleep. As hard as he tried to shut his brain off, he’d wake a few minutes later, covered in sweat and burning with pain. Nightmares, _true_ nightmares, of his brother, his childhood, his parent’s funeral, the circus…

“Jacques…” he shivered and felt the old instinct coil in his body to run and hide.

These were different than the ones Chemical A-Bd-2019 created. Those were designed to put the person in emotionally horrifying situations they had lived through, thus mentally scaring them until they went insane or spilled their life story and everything they knew, begging for the torture to stop. Those were events that had already happened, things he could not change; these were twisted untrue scenarios morphed with his reality.

 He inhaled sharply and scrubbed his hands over his face trying to erase the haunting memories that seemed to plague him, even in during the day, and made his skin crawl and itch uncomfortably.

“Troublesome day?” a cold hand gently rested upon his shoulder and made him break into goosebumps.

Clint ruefully laughed. “It has been a few…”

Loki frowned and tapped his free fingers against his thigh thoughtfully before shrugging off whatever thought he had been focusing on.

“They still have you on that garbage?” he looked up at the god.

“Garbage? Oh the serum? Yes.” He turned his gaze upon the archer and smiled, running his fingers through his soft brown hair a few times. “Well…” he prompted after a few moments. “Have you had enough space?”

Clint groaned, wrapping his arms around Loki’s legs, and rested against them, causing the god to chuckle and continue to mess with his hair. “Question?”

“Hm?”

“I have been wondering, are you…are you able to read all of my thoughts?”

Loki hummed tapping an elegant finger to his lips. “Only ones which are linked to your heart.” He fiddled with the short hairs that crowned Clint’s forehead. “My little Hawk…” Barton snorted and pushed himself out of the god’s reach, choosing to nest at the corner of the platform. “Oh dear…” Loki sighed and went to sit next to him. “It would appear that I have offended…again…”

Barton was silent for a time, mulling over the list of questions that he’d composed and had been dying to ask. “Could this be some strange side-effect from the Tesseract?”

Loki took a deep breath and dropped his feet over the ledge of the platform, swinging them back and forth slowly. “I am not certain. The source of this…complication is familiar, however –”

“You need to be off the loopy drugs to study it further. I got it.” He muttered fiddling with a string poking out from the seam of one of his gloves.

The god stared at him for a moment before leaning a little in his direction. “What must I do to repair the damage I have created?”

He shrugged, honestly not having a clue. “Tell me what’s happening at your end? I am not privy to any information regarding you or Asgard, excluding Thor, and I’m bored as hell.”

Loki twisted his mouth in a scowl and leaned back into his own space. “Nothing of consequential importance: I am jolted awake for interrogations and poisoned into sleep when I am of no further interest or value.” He looked down from where they sat, watching the machines shift the other platforms around the bottom of theirs in a slow fashion. He seemed tense and preoccupied.

Clint followed his gaze, trying to think of something that would bring the god back to him. “The system is motion sensitive. If I’m not moving, the platform I rest upon stays motionless. It’s so that if someone is hurt, the machine will not put them in any further danger. Unless your chip shows that your vitals are abnormal, they leave you alone, assuming you are just taking a breather.” Loki raised an eyebrow and nodded, slowly processing the information, but made no further move. Clint sighed, it wasn’t enough…he tried again. “Who is your regular questioner?”

 “Apart from you?” he came to life suddenly, slyly giving Barton his wicked smile.

The archer rolled his eyes and softly laughed. “Yeah, I guess.”

He dropped his gaze and the smile to watch the platforms beneath them again. “Fury is the only one that visits now…” he whispered and flinched touching his side.

Clint frowned. “What’s wrong?”

Loki gasped and doubled over in pain, waving Barton’s concerns away. “It’s nothing…must be them waking me up.”

“They need to stop doing this to you.” He turned to the god and touched his forehead. He was burning up and shaking slightly. The last time he saw him in such a state, it was after Loki had taken his free will.

They had just set camp several miles away from the ruined former S.H.I.E.L.D. facilities, everyone was busy working to secure their location and piece together a quick rough stabilising field for the Tesseract. Barton had found the god hunched over the edge of a cliff, retching and hacking. He had helped him: held him so that he wouldn’t fall forward, found material to wipe his face with, water to rinse his mouth, some light food to settle his stomach, and set up a small mat on the back of their truck as a bed. He’d stayed by him the whole night caring for the lonely god.

Loki gripped his upper arm and glared at him not in anger. Barton felt shame. “I had forgotten that,” he whispered and looked away.

“I didn’t,” Clint smoothed the raven’s features gently, feeling his temperature again, and filled himself with calming thoughts, hoping they would reach the god. “I’m going to speak with Tasha.”

“ _Widow_?” Loki viciously spat and turned completely from Barton, rising to stalk toward the centre of the platform.

“I know you two do not get along, but…” he sighed rubbing the back of his neck and rose following the god. “But...you’re both just going to have to deal. She’s just as important in my life as you are.”

Loki froze and turned his head just so he could see the archer in the corner of his vision. “I assure you, I am important to no one’s life.” His voice was deep, dark, and Clint shivered as the magic from those words twisted around his chest. He knew that was not true, especially from the way Thor spoke so often and so highly of him, but Loki _felt_ that was truth, and it was enough for him.

“You’ll see,” he promised and went to stand before the stubborn immortal. “Now tell me where it hurts so that I may give Tasha all the correct details.”

“It is an old war wound, nothing more.” Loki brushed it off and made to turn away when it hit him again. The solid wall: slamming the wind from his lungs, making his joints ache, and his head swim. His skin felt as if it were on fire. “I do not understand…” he muttered to himself and examined his hands. “Are they not waking me up?”

Barton frowned. “Loki?”

Before the god could say more he fell to his knees, gripping his chest and covering his face. “Do not gaze upon me – wake yourself up!”

An avalanche of panic, anger, shame, pain, and a few other muddled emotions Clint could not grasp, swept up and overpowered his senses. “Loki –” he moved reaching forward.

“GO!” he growled spinning to face the archer.

Clint took a small step back. Loki was…and then it hit him.

 -------------------------------------------------

  

He jerked away, rolling over just in time to upend his lunch onto the platform floor instead of on himself.

“Christ Barton!” Tasha flipped from the lift she was using to his side in a heartbeat, punching buttons into her wrist pad to move their platform down to ground level. Once in its resting place she hurried him towards the bathroom and into a stall.

“Tash?” he groaned confused. He had just been starting at _Loki…no…Fury?_ It was Loki first. He was blue _…his eyes…no…that was Fury…_ Fury’s disapproving glare. There had been a masked officer…a heated metal coil…he was placing the coil against his chest. _No, it was Loki’s chest?_

He heaved once more before opening his vest and pulling up his shirt to exam his chest. There was a faint red spiral mark.

“What is that?” she asked barely touching it.

“Where is Loki?” he asked right before another wave of nausea crashed over him and out into the toilet.

She narrowed her eyes and looked him over, “What do you mean?”

“I mean, where is Loki and what the hell has Fury been doing it him?”

“The prisoner is still locked up,”

Clint shook his head and regretting it as, what must surely be his guts coming up, barely made it into the porcelain basin. “No…Tash…” he gasped and leaned against the stall wall. “Is…is Fury torturing him?”

Her mouth was set in a hard line and there was a cold element in her eyes that made Barton, for the first time, truly wary of her. “Yes.” She stated flatly after a moment.

“We have to stop him.” He rose on shaking limbs and stumbled out to the sink, splashing his face and rinsing his mouth out.

“Is that what all of this has been about? Look, he can’t do anything, he’s locked and drugged up.” She stood near the door eyeing him cautiously.

Clint shook his head and grabbed a paper towel to dab up the water. “No, not him. Fury.”

“Fury?” her voice betrayed her outrage and concern.

“He’s torturing him!” He tossed the towel in the trash and straightened his clothing before heading out.

“He’s a villain, a prisoner, a wanted war-criminal who killed millions for _fun_!” Natasha rushed forward and grabbed Clint’s arm, pulling him up short and away from the door. “Are you compromised?” She asked seriously, her voice a threat to be feared all in its own.

He looked down at her, her eyes where glassy and full of dread; he hadn’t seen her like this since he’d first met her. Barton let out a breath rubbing his face and pulled his arm out of her grasp. “I…I’m not…I…” he sighed heavily and looked back at the door as he punched the button to open it before him. “Yes and no.” He whispered leaving her stunned behind him as he raced for the room holding the God of Mischief captive.

Natasha took a deep breath trying to control the rising feeling of panic threatening to overcome her. She tapped her communicator.

“Yes Agent Romanoff ?” Fury’s irritated voice called into her ear.

“I am sorry sir, but there is something important I think you must know.”

“What is it?”

Natasha swallowed once, ignoring the tear that slipped out of her eye and whispered, “Agent Barton, sir…I believe he’s…I believe he has become compromised again…”

There was pause. “Where is he?” Fury whispered back.

“He’s heading toward the prisoner’s location…”

“Son of a…” Fury’s voice was cut off as a loud inhuman scream ripped through the communication speakers that shook Widow’s body to the core. She pulled out her earpiece and threw it to the floor, racing out and down the hall after Clint. Her heart had never beaten so fast in her life.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And twenty days, three acting scenes, two papers, and half a dance solo choreographed later...  
> I'm so late with this! I'm beating my head against the wall, but I would have posted it yesterday if the internet in my apartment wasn't out. I'm currently hiding in the theatre huddled in an _incredibly_ uncomfortable chair. This is penitence for making everyone wait twenty days. I'm sorry...I'm putting timers on my phone and computer. I hate making promises I can't keep...sorry again!
> 
> All mistakes are my own, I do not own the characters. If you have any questions just let me know. Please enjoy!

\----------------------5----------------------

 

Tasha rounded the last hall and stopped dead in her tracks. Just a few feet from the door was Clint, slumped against the wall gripping his chest and gritting his teeth against the pain. He lurched forward with a small inhale of breath and pressed his other hand to a spot on his lower abdomen. She rushed to his side just in time, and caught his weight to help him to the ground gently. Natasha propped his head in her lap, quickly assessing his person for wounds. There was nothing wrong from the outside. Nothing but the marks, but where did they come from?

“What’s wrong?” she stared down at him, completely at a loss. “Wh-what can I do? Barton. Barton tell me.” She rested her hands on either side of his face trying to keep her cool. His skin was on fire, his breathing erratic – was this a sign that not all of the Nightshade Sleep had been extracted?

 The door burst opened and out swept Nick Fury, followed by a cry slipping after him from the cracked door. Another sickening wave wracked Clint’s body and he rolled onto his side and dry heaved groaning.

“Quiet!” Fury shouted opening the door more giving Natasha a good view. She stifled a gasp and turned her face away from the scene slightly nauseous. In all her years she had never…of all the things she’d done or been privy to…this was…

“STOP!” Loki called pulling weakly against the bonds around his arms; lips so dry they cracked bleeding a little.

“Had enough?” The masked agent taunted. They were like any other of S.H.I.E.L.D.’s low ranking members, with a frame belonging to a very short man or a very muscular woman, neutral body suit, and mask for protection of identity outside of interrogation rooms. The glass panel around their eyes was darkened out, and they held iron heavy tongs in one hand threateningly.

“Oh no,” he smiled causing his lips to split even more. His eyes grew dark and his voice dropped low, despite his exhaustion. “I could take this small tickling for hours…however there is something you must know…” he leaned his pale body forward alight with mischievous play. “The more you _torture_ me…the more _my_ precious _Hawk_ suffers.”

There was a sharp hiss of heated metal meeting skin followed by Clint and Loki crying out in unison. Clint curled forward, gripping his lower abdomen again as he felt the sting of an invisible fourth coil bite into him.

“Clint!” Romanoff pushed his hands and shirt up so she could examine for injuries, letting out a frustrated groan when she found no sign or logical explanation of what could cause the sudden reddening welt forming on his chest.

Fury swooped down on them, keeping his volume low and back toward the room. “Is this true?” Barton didn’t have to answer, the marks which were slowly blooming across his chest and the sweat beading along his brow told enough.

“When did this begin?”

“When…when I tried…to strangle him,” he panted letting Tasha move him into a sitting position against the wall and winced. “I…we don’t know what it is exac–”

“Wait,” the director barked sharply holding up a hand to cut him off. “We? Are you trying to tell me…?” He stopped and let the rest of that thought die out. The archer looked at him and nodded, confirming this which added to his growing list of problems. “Why did you not report this sooner?”

“We were – _I_ was not aware of how complicated it was until just before you started all of this,” he rubbed the spot on his chest, where Loki had just been burned moments before, and quickly added, “I don’t even know if it will last. Who’s to say it won’t pass within time…a day or two maybe? You’ve been doing this for a while and I only just felt it today. Maybe it means I’m coming clean?” They were all lies, not even good ones, but they took his random babblings, and that was all that mattered to Clint at that moment.

Fury stood up and clicked his communicator: “Agent Hill, get me Rogers, Stark, and Banner right away. I need a Medical unit to prep two rooms next to each other, one at a level ten security, the other at six…” he continued as he stepped over Barton’s legs and wandered further into the hall.

“Put that away!” Natasha ordered, sharply pointing to the agent poised with another coil, eager for further instructions. They hesitated a moment, but one look at her face told them backing off was the option they should take if they wanted to live.

“Take me to the bed,” Clint whispered as fatigue filled the empty spaces pain had left inside of him.

She put his arm around her shoulders, attempting to help him rise. “I don’t think –”

“I _need_ to see him.”

“Fury will –”

“Trust me,” he begged pathetically. “I promise I will not let him touch you,” he half-heartedly joked. Tasha sighed giving in, and pulled Clint’s weak form up and along into the room. Where the bed had once been now stood a chair with Loki bound to it; all sorts of wires and tubes where stuck into the skin of his back, he was fitted with washed out grey baggy prisoner pants, and several sets of braces (a little more than Clint thought necessary) held him firmly in place to the dark metal.

Barton was shocked at the sight before him. Loki looked haggard: his skin had an unnatural grey tint, the veins in him had swollen out in a sickening black colour, and the dark purpling around his eyes suggested his body was becoming unable to filter out the toxic solution as quickly as it once had. He was covered in sweat and noticeably shaking as the last metal coil was removed. The skin quickly turned from flaming red to a dull pink with a faint blue hue along the edge, just as the other lingering marks on his chest had.

Natasha gestured for the agent to retrieve a chair for him, and the two of them helped settle Clint next to the god, who was attempting to control his laboured breathing as he licked his bleeding lips.

Clint leaned toward him. “Do you still hurt?” he asked before caressing an angry welt upon the silent god’s smooth chest. This first true physical contact washed over both of them, alleviating the ache within their bones and forced them to bite back the sigh of sweet relief that settled upon their tongues.

Loki shuttered and cleared his hoarse throat. “No not currently. May I deduce you are still in pain?” Clint nodded. “I apologise.”

“For?”

“First for not realising how expeditious this bond would become, and…” he paused shifted a little closer and pointedly stared at Widow. Natasha rolled her eyes taking a few steps back out of hearing range and folded her arms across her chest with an irritated humph. “And…” he continued lower, “for any barbaric acts I have subjected upon your being.”

Clint frowned confused before he realised what Loki meant. His throat tightened and he looked away straightening up. “Don’t…not here…” he whispered.

The god tiredly nodded with a sigh, “then later I shall strive to amend such matters?” They were silent for a moment while someone came over to untie Loki’s legs and hands. Another agent stood a little off to the side of them, threatening holding up a funky looking silver gun. There was some dark black-purplish liquid swishing in the small glass bulb container on its end and the thing hummed letting them know it was active and the agent was not afraid of using it.

“You don’t have to do that,” Clint glared at the gun and then levelled his gaze on the agent holding it. “Does it look like he’s in a position to fight you?” Neither answered him which just pissed him off more. The first agent tightly wound Loki’s hands and tossed them unkindly away.

“If I would have known they were doing this to you–” Clint muttered looking back into his dulled blue-green eyes once they were alone again.

“Do not punish yourself for my crimes.”

“This is a bit much,”

“Is it? Or is this now all too much because of…?” he stopped as he leaned forward a bit and licked the side of his mouth cautiously watching the chaos going on outside of the room. Clint wanted nothing more than to lean forward as well, but restrained himself and opted for tracing his fingers over Loki’s clasped palms settled upon his armrest.

“Tell me honestly,” he smiled sarcastically and raised a delicate brow, “how do I fare?”

“Me speak the truth to the God of Lies?” They both softly laughed. “Not too well, but –”

“Now I am no longer a threat to only Midgard, I have transformed into one against this…Shield? My punishments will surely worsen.”

“You could say that…” he swallowed with a frown and hated the powerless feeling that crept over him. He wished he could stop all of this junk. Stop everything and have time to sort through it all; just enough to make it easier so that he could deal with the pressure of everyone bearing down upon him.

Clint felt a gentle touch upon his cheek and looked at Loki, who had not moved and was staring intensely at him. The shaking had subsided, but he still twitched in small convulsions every so often, and his eyes were beginning to clear.

“You are starting to look better,” he whispered and folded his hand over the god’s giving them a firm squeeze.

He shivered and closed his eyes. “I do wish I felt as such,” he mumbled and rested the side of his head against the back of the chair so that the tubes would not press into his skin any further.

“What information is Fury trying to get out of you?”

Loki gave a weak laugh and stared at the ceiling without answering. Barton could have smacked himself; what a stupid question? Of course he wasn’t going to tell him here, if he was going to at all. He sighed looking around the room at a loss as to what to say. More bodies massed outside the door and they both knew that whatever was coming next would not be pleasant.

“Several days passed, you wanted me dead…” Loki mused and Clint looked back at him. “Now you are here holding my hands…” he looked at him. “Why?”

Clint didn’t know why. He just…he leaned forward and ran a finger down Loki’s cheek. If it worked in his dreams and he could feel Loki’s pain then maybe he could make it worked in real life too. Who knew? He sure as hell didn’t, but he was not one to quit before trying. Loki closed his eyes again and inhaled quickly, letting him know it had worked.

He moved back and let go of the trickster’s cool skin just as Fury returned with an army of agents behind him. They flooded the room and held aloft guns as if they all expected Loki and Clint to turn into giant savage beasts and tear up the Hellicarrier. He saw the god barely flinch and shifted just slightly to sit on the very edge of his seat.

“Romanoff.” She snapped to attention. “Take Agent Barton and follow these agents. The rest of you begin prep work for moving the prisoner.”

“Yes, sir.” They all chorused and began their designated tasks.

Clint let Natasha help him stand on still wobbly legs. He paused and looked down at Loki once more, overcome with a trembling desire to stay and protect him. The need to have him close and to feel his touch was pounding in his chest, making his palms sweat and his heart beat out of sync. Did the god feel this way too or was he just going crazy on his own?

“Leave me,” Loki snuffed turning his face away as a few men pushed him forward so that they could begin disconnecting the assortment of tubes along his spine. A faint trace of gentle pushing brushed the side of Barton’s consciousness, soothing him in a silent peaceful way.

“Whatever…” he breathed playing along and turned following Tasha. He mustered the same emotion and sent it back, hoping that was how their fucked up connection thing worked. Just as he reached the door he heard the makings of a scuffle form behind him followed by the god’s outcry.

“No!” Loki’s voice was urgent and he began struggling against the dozens of hands that pushed him one way or another to keep him still. He put out his foot and weakly knocked one of the silver chemical guns out of an agent’s hand. “Can none of you comprehend words? I said – AH!”

“GAH!” Clint tripped grabbing at his left shoulder as both of them convulsed: Loki quickly going under as another agent unloaded the gun into him. The container of liquid drained inky lines across his shoulder and arm before fading from his skin just as Clint slammed to the floor, fainting after a few agonising seconds of stabbing pains along his arm and spine.

“Jesus Fury!” Stark shouted as he stepped into the room. “What is going on?”

“I need your help finding that out,” he muttered pushing past him and out into the hall to call for more assistants.

“I’m sorry,” Tony turned wide eyed, as his ego soared to life, and waltzed out after the director to pester him more. “Did you just say you _needed_ me?”

“Stuff it Stark!” Natasha shouted after him as she cradled Barton close as a mass panic of agents and orders whirled around them. “Clint,” she imploringly whispered holding her palm over a fresh cut on his forehead. “What is going on?”

 

 

 

“Tony,” Banner called getting his attention to hand him a viewing screen as the last of the head Agents and important personnel filed into debriefing room number four.

“Thank you Brucy,” he smiled glancing down at his watch and then back up at the crowd.

“Please not today…” the other sighed slightly exasperated.

“Later then?” He didn’t wait for a reply as he stepped forward and opened his arms signally everyone to quiet down. “Welcome people of Hellicarrier 67!” Fury’s nostrils flared as his eye flashed danger. No one moved. “Okay, everyone seems to not be feeling very humorous today. Can’t say I blame you,” he muttered moving files around on his screen. “Now we are all here to discuss a potential serious threat to your organisation and to the health of an outstanding member of the Avengers Team.”

Bruce pulled up some of the files onto the large screen behind them and waited quietly while Tony went through the breakdown and introduction of their current problem.

“It would seem that in an off-the-record interrogation – the person who ordered it will remain nameless – won’t they Fury?”

“Get on with it, Stark,”

“Right, so this unrecorded interview between Agent Clint Barton, aka Hawkeye, and His Royal Highness, Loki of Asgard, aka God of Mischief, Destruction, Lies, Fancy Horned Helmets, and a lot of Property Damage –”

“Stark!”

“Right Fury – this interview had some hostility involved. If you were all unaware, about four months ago, Agent Barton was taken captive and compromised by Lord Fancy Horned Helmets using a magical staff that mimicked the same energy as the Tesseract. The Tesseract originally belonged to the Asgardians; legend has it Odin hid it on earth for protection or something. Back about a hundred years ago when Captain America was first trying out as a US cheerleader –”

“Stark!” Steve glared disapprovingly.

“My apologises – as a US soldier, some big bad Nazi, Johann Shmidt, who ran Hydra under the name of Red Skull, obtained…”

 

Twenty minutes later half the agents were either asleep or passing notes secretly and the other half looked about ready to blow up or kill someone.

“So, here is where things become complicated.” Tony stated irritably and slammed his hands upon the desk to his right, jeering several people awake. “Is everyone ready for a nap, or am I really that boring?” He looked back at Banner who shrugged.

“Today seems to be a boring day?” he offered trying to stay neutral.

Tony snorted, offended, and turned back to the room of people. “Is everyone listening, because this gets serious now? All joking aside, the day that Clint went and spoke with Sir Sparkly Costumes, something happened, and now they are connected.”

“Connected?” Agent Hill spoke up crossing her arms over her chest. “What do you mean?”

“We’re not sure if it is something that had to do with Loki once controlling Agent Barton’s mind, or if it is something involving contact with Chemical A-Bd-2019, ‘Nightshade Sleep,’ S.H.I.E.LD. has been inducing the prisoner with.” Banner spoke up fiddling with his glasses.

Tony looked back at him, holding out his hand. “I turn them over to you; they are obviously done pretending to listen to me.” Banner rolled his eyes and gave Tony the ‘ _hush up and behave while I speak_ ’ look. They traded places and Bruce put his glasses on, taking a moment to gather his thoughts before he addressed the group.

“We have studied samples from both parties and compared the energy readings we have gotten off them to those we gathered from the sceptre and Tesseract,” he pushed a button and several charts containing the DNA and blood samplers popped up; each comparing before and after specimens of both men. “The cross-section of these strands of DNA suggest no serious mutation of any sort, however, if we look at the blood sections –”

“But there is mutation of a sort?” Romanoff piped up from the first row.

Banner paused awkwardly, opening and closing his mouth a few times, searching for the right words. “The mutations are not of a serious nature…just minor enhancements: faster reflexes, intelligence, sight, etc. We have not had a chance to test these out,” and then muttered to his shoes, “considering they both have been in an induced coma for several days.” He coughed and continued addressing the group, “Also, we did not take samples after he was influenced by the Tesseract. These could be the results of small manipulations by the cube itself. Now the blood –”

“Wait a minute, why were the tests not completed after Agent Barton was in our custody?” Agent Johnson asked. Hill and Fury exchanged quick glances before pointing warning stares at the two scientists.

“Funny you should ask,” Stark mumbled and turned away to fiddle with his phone.

Bruce looked back at him a second before wetting his lips and stared at the floor. “The tests…were not ordered.”

“Why weren’t they ordered?” another high ranking officer, none of the Avengers knew, spoke up.

“Because Barton hoped a jet with Romanoff and Rogers and headed off to save a bus full of small children. I think that proved his worth.” Tony snipped looking back at Fury and raised an eyebrow. “Right Boss Man?”

Several other agents spoke up at once, some demanding answers from Stark and Banner, some directly from Fury himself, or about their own business just grateful for a small break to chat. The noise level of the room gradually rose and Bruce rubbed his face as his blood began to boil. Anxiety itched along his skin and made his breath catch as it dung its claws into his spine, pulling his sanity slowly out of his bones.

“Stark,” he warned gripping the edge of the table and gritted his teeth.

Tony took the cue. “Hey everyone!” he shouted gaining a few people’s attention. “He’s Hulking up, can you kindly shut your faces before he shuts them for you?” Everyone but Johnson, Avery, and Fury shushed quickly.

“Does it look like I give a fuck!?” Fury asked crossing his arms over his chest.

Johnson put her hands on her hips and took a step toward him. “Nick, if those tests had been ordered this–”

“This bullshit might not have happened?”

“–and Barton would not have become injured!” Avery finished for them both.

“Uh, guys?” Tony tried.

“Your arrogance has cost us not only a good soldier, but quite possibly the entire organisation!” Johnson continued.

“Excuse me?” Tony tried again.

“Oh I fucked up this organisation? Maybe if Barton hadn’t–”

“He wouldn’t have if you hadn’t–”

“THIS ISN’T ANYONE’S FAULT!” Banner yelled and quickly turned away from the room full of frightened faces and fast hands pulling out loaded guns. He took a few deep breaths and counted to fifteen, letting the tension in his shoulders go.

 “Look…” he began again in a softer tone and heard some people shift and put their guns away. “There is nothing physically wrong with Barton. Nothing that we can tell, nothing truly different, except for some reason he feels everything Loki feels.”

“What about Loki?” came Thor’s voice from the doorway. Fury groaned low in his throat and Maria stepped forward immediately addressing him.

“Avenger Thor,” she walked toward him. “We are in the middle of a very important meeting regarding –”

“What have you done to Loki?” He advanced angrily and looked at the people in the room accusingly. “If there is something wrong with my brother, then why have I not been contacted?”

“The situation is complicated,”

Director Fury stood quickly, “All agents who are not A-Team personnel please exit the room. You are dismissed, return to your stations and write up a report. Keep this at level five classified.” The room suddenly filled with the sound of shuffling feet and a few mutterings and hushes as Thor continued.

“If he is dying then he needs to return home.”

“No!” Banner turned and stepped toward the God of Thunder. “He is not dying, he’s just…there is…Tony?”

“What Green Gorilla here is trying to say,” he quickly picked up, walking toward Thor carefully. “Barton had a fight with Loki, something happened between them, now they are attached –”

“Attached?” The blond frowned confused. “You mean by the hip of some sort?”

“No,” Natasha stood crossing her arms over her chest and tossed her head to get some of her hair out of her eyes. “It seems they feel what the other feels.”

“It may go so far as what the other thinks. We’re not sure, just a thought! Stupid kind of…” Bruce softly muttered, playing with his glasses as he gazed at the floor and shuffled his feet.

“Friends…are you attempting to inform me that they have conjugated?”

“What?” Stark looked around at everyone. “Is that a word?”

“Yes,” Steve got up and straightened his jacket. “1530 is its first known use; it’s a transitive verb. It means ‘to join together’.”

“Like when you conjugate verbs,” Banner tentatively added, catching the billionaire’s eye before he went back to looking at the ground.

“I knew that. Test. Genius, remember?” Tony muttered glaring off offended.

“I’m sorry Thor,” Tasha bowed her head taking a few steps forward. “This is my fault; I shouldn’t have let him go in there alone.”

Thor looked at each of them stunned. “My friends, why are you all perplexed? This is good news!”

“Good? Did he say good?” Tony gasped bewildered looking around at each of them for confirmation.

Steve gingerly took a step back. “Thor, why is this good news?”

Thor threw his head back, roaring laughter spilled into the now private conference room. “Even a man such as my brother is entitled some joy. Do not be stupefied! Embrace his espousal with Sir Barton! Yggdrasil has favoured our worlds!” He went around and hugged their stunned forms tightly. “This design must surely be a way for our homes to make peace!”

“Es-es-espousal!” astonished, Romanoff stared wide eyed at him, pushing herself out of his arms.

“You-you mean like…married?” Roger’s voice cracked. “As in – they are married!?”

“Why didn’t they invite us to the wedding!?” Tony cried at Banner who backed up a few steps looking at Thor as if he would be sick.

“Mr. Stark be quiet.” Hill snapped trying to control her features as she considered what Thor had said.

“You’d think after fighting with him – on how many missions these past few months? – he’d be decent enough to ask if we wanted to attend?”

“Stark,” Fury warned as a sudden violent headache started creeping over his forehead.

“Good thing I didn’t buy them a gift. I’d hate to have to return a perfectly good toaster.”

“Stark shut up!” Natasha rounded on him. “Don’t you understand? This isn’t a joke! You can’t just cover this up with your bullshit words and expect it to blow over! This is Barton we’re talking about! Clint and that _THING_ are joined in some space alien freaky marriage sort of way!” She gave him one good glare before turning and wiped her unbidden tears away as she stalked to the far side of the room to be alone.

Bruce looked at her sympathetically and quietly sidled up to Thor. “Is there no way to reverse or break this bond?”

The god shook his head. “No, not if this is the type of bond that you claim it to be. Unions such as these are very rare. The last one to occur was well before our father became King of Asgard.”

“How long ago was that?” Steve asked now somewhat recovered from the shock a moment ago.

“Several thousand millennia ago,”

“Long life your people have,” Tony muttered keeping an eye on Widow in case she decided to verbally bash him again.

“My people do not toy with matters of the heart and matrimony. On Asgard, we pledge for eternity. There is no way to severe such a joining.” He looked at all of them for a moment before staring at Natasha’s back. “In marriage we promise our souls…”

“That’s…deep…” Steve swallowed trying to sort out the jumble of information for a solution or a compromise.

“My brother though?” Thor looked at them imploringly. “Is he safe?”

The other three Avengers shifted uncomfortably and glanced at each other before Bruce stepped up to take the hit. “Thor, Loki is –”

“I should remind you, Dr. Banner that that is classified information.” Fury’s voice was hard. They turned to look at where he stood in the doorway, Agent Hill moving to stand at his side.

“Classified, accept for cases of _family_ ,” Tony corrected.

“Cases of _biological_ family,” the director put his hands in his coat pockets and stood straighter. “Now, excuse me. I have business to attend to. Everyone keeps this to themselves until I figure out how to fix this fucking mess.” And with that, he left with Maria right behind.

As soon as the door closed Thor turned to his friends again. “Lord Banner?” he pleaded taking a step closer, his blue eyes large and trusting.

“I…” he hesitated, rubbing the back of his neck. One look at the god and he gave in with a sigh. “I can take you to see him. But you have to promise me something.”

“Anything,”

“If you start hitting things and making trouble…I have to bring the other guy out…”

Thor regarded him for a moment before nodding his head. “I promise this.”

 

 

 

 

 

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is super important - I am at the VERY end of my final semester in college and have to focus on my seminar, or I do not graduate. I will not be back until after the 22nd at the earliest but I will be back before the 29th. I wanted to thank all of you for being so patient with me and apologise for having to disappear like this so suddenly (I guess with my posting record though it really isn't that unexpected).
> 
> I hope you enjoy this and that it starts to explain some things. Trying to get this plot moving. Some serious themes discussed in this chapter, so be prepared. I tried to not throw the bad stuff in your face, but subtly introduce and discuss it.
> 
> All mistakes are my own, I do not own the characters, and I'll be back in a few weeks!

\----------------------6----------------------

 

They sat in the waiting room silently; only two people were permitted in the medical rooms at a time. The cool grey of the walls made the space distant and depressed and the unnaturally brilliant white lights made everything look and feel washed out. It had been sometime since Thor and Bruce had gone in to see Loki. The cry they had heard from the other room was chilling, but they guessed Thor had kept his word, for nothing had crashed through and Hellicarrier 67 was still in the air.

Steve went over and sat next to Tasha. “Are you going to be alright?”

“Yeah,” she kept her voice and face devoid of the emotions that swelled and crashed around inside of her. She slumped down in her chair a bit and crossed her arms, “I just…it’s…”

“Sudden?” he offered knowing that none of them would have ever been emotionally or mentally prepared for such Earth shattering news.

“Yeah.” She lowered her tone and bit her lip, staring at the floor lost in her own thoughts. “I…I had always hoped…” she fell silent and Steve let her, remembering when he had first awakened to the strange and mindboggling new world and had hoped. He admired and was impressed by her bravery, but concerned that her strength and pride would eventually break her. She was always having to put on a courageous face and act the part of robotic assassin…did she ever give herself time for her own feelings? Did she ever regret this life?

Steve shook those questions away from his mind and tried to think of something to say that would help her. “I had a girl…” he whispered, chest tightening a bit at the memory, but continued so as to try and show her that she wasn’t alone. That she didn’t have to go through _this_ alone. “She was really strong, very brilliant. I promised her a dance…I wanted to promise her my life…but…” he swallowed and smiled to himself letting his tears show unashamed. “I’m not very punctual…and…” he paused and took a deep breath trying to collect himself. This was supposed to be about helping her.

“I’m sorry…” she whispered and put her hand on his knee looking at him. When he looked at her, a small warmth bloomed in the middle of her chest, one which she hadn’t felt in years. Natasha gave him a tiny smile to let him know it was alright.

He laughed a bit to get rid of his nerves, “hey, save the world or fondue?” he shrugged. “It’s our job.”

“Fondue is our job?”

Steve went to correct her, but noticed a grin splaying across her face and couldn’t help himself from chuckling. They laughed and continued to quietly talk.

 -------------------------------------------------

 He gasped, drawing large clean gulps of air in as he felt himself resurface. His body tingled all over and he had the sense he’d gone from not-existing into existing; suspended in a never ending fall of nothing. He looked around and reached a hand out into the void.

 “Clint…” a voice called from beyond the murky darkness.

“Yes?” he answered it trying to find it. “Where are you? I can’t see; it’s too dark.”

“Open your eyes,” it whispered back, echoing around him.

He frowned, “they are opened?”

“No…your mind. Open your mind’s eye, my little Hawk,” the voice chuckled next to his ear.

Clint felt a chill sweep up his body and his “eyes” snapped opened. He was staring up at a brilliant blue sky, full of light fluffy clouds that brushed along its firmament, giving them a lazy feel as they crawled around enjoying the bright sun’s rays. He turned his head and found Loki lying next to him, staring at the sky with his hands over his stomach. They were upon a dark forest green blanket. The god’s appearance had returned to normal: no grey clammy skin, no blackened lines across his body or the purple bruising of his eyes. He looked healthy and decent, dressed in his usual suede pants, soft boots, and unlaced green tunic he favoured when not wearing all of that ridiculous armour.

Barton dragged his eyes away from the trickster to take in his surroundings; they were in a field of some sort, with butterflies fluttering about and bees zipping over their heads to land upon the long blood red delicate petals of the flowers poking up all around them. He reached up and carefully touched one.

“Poppies…” he frowned and then sat up, noticing his clothes: a pair of cotton black pants and a tank top, both thin and loose enough to allow fluid movement. He looked at the god confused. “Where are we?”

“In a corner of my mind,” Loki stretched and rolled onto his side. “It is far easier and much safer to keep you here until Banner and Stark plan an escape.”

“Escape?” his blue-green eyes darted to follow a moonlit coloured butterfly as it floated in front of his face.

 “Precisely; as much as Fury would relish keeping me sedated in constant agony, he cannot afford to lose you: _his_ very valuable asset. After being woken, and you going into shock, I convinced the beast and the queen to keep us on this sleeping formula until they could meet Fury’s demands to separate our union, or break with S.H.I.E.L.D. and move us to a secure location.”

Barton looked down at him. “What is wrong with us?”

“There is nothing ‘ _wrong with us_ ’,”

“Well something’s changed between us.” He looked around again adding, “And they changed the formula so that you can tap into a small amount of your magic.”

“How very observant you are?” The god smiled pleased, “yes, they have modified the serum. I have brought both of us here to mull over the current situation.”

“And?”

Loki sighed, rolling his eyes at the mortal’s impatience. “I have an inkling.”

“And?”

He pressed his lips together and looked away, taking a deep breath before saying, “I am unsure of how deep it runs. Depending upon its depth is –”

“You’re hiding something.” Clint crossed his arms, narrowing his eyes and gave him the ‘ _no bullshit_ ’ look.

He sighed again, sitting up to rub his temples irritated. “I strongly dislike having someone privy to my mind.”

“But you’re secretly taking pleasure in it.” The archer grinned and studied a butterfly, which had landed upon his knee, with childlike wonder.

Loki watched him and the insect for a moment before answering. “What I reveal next, you must not fret or create a scene.”

“Worried I’ll scare the bugs off?” he playfully challenged with a sly look.

The god looked off with a sad smile. “Perhaps…”

Clint leaned over a bit and nudged the sorcerer’s shoulder. “I’m listening. What is it?”

“We…” he took a breath trying again, “In Asgard, they handle matters of sexuality and the heart drastically different than what I have observed here on Midgard.” He swallowed and wet his lips looking at the assassin. “When two persons wish to engage in coitus, they do so, and may go their separate ways afterward, or continue their affair. Much as one can do in this realm; however, when two persons wish to unit in marriage, they are bound by their souls for all eternity, even should death come to claim one.”

Barton took a moment to absorb this information. “So…we might be bound in such a way?” He looked off, the thought of a life bound to one person spinning around in his mind. Could he really do it? He knew that marriage ceremonies were supposed to represent such a bond, but such vows were superficial and did not set well with him. They were another way for the government to keep a leash on people, to tax and brand them with a label. “Married” “Single” “Divorced” “Gay” “Straight” “Legal” “Illegal” “Blessed” “Forbidden”.

If he was bound to Loki in such a way, would he be alright with that? Could he put aside the hatred he once felt for being moulded into the perfect warrior and then thrown aside? Did he even feel that way anymore? If they were united in such a way…how did Loki feel about all of this? And what of his blue skin? Was that just a side effect of being tortured or…?

Clint swallowed and suddenly recalled one of Thor’s drunken battle tales. They had just finished helping clean up the Grand Central Terminal so that repairs could be made. The warrior had insisted they all celebrate with a few drinks, but ‘a few’ to Clint and ‘a few’ to Thor were two very different vocabulary terms. Thor had said they were creatures of great height, with skin the shade of the Midgardian skies, and crimson eyes. They hunted and stole children in the night for fun and consumed them over open fires; tearing their prey limb from limb and dancing to their cries of agony with glee.

Loki felt fear creep slowly up his spine from the end of Clint’s connection. “What is the matter?” When his question did not provoke an answer he frowned studying the archer’s features and hesitantly reached out to touch his wrist. “Does the thought of such a bond repel you so?”

He shook his head. “No,” he took a deep breath. He had to know. “When…back on the platform you were in pain. Just before I woke, you…your skin…” he felt Loki tense next to him; dread, shame and anger crawled into the back of Barton’s mind and rolled off the god in waves. “Was it from the torture? Like the heat reacting to the chemical in your skin? Is that why you turned blue…or is it…?” he looked at Loki, searching his blank face for any indication of what the other was thinking. He saw it in his bright eyes: they were clouded with panic and he could see the stress in the lines around his lips.

“I…” the god started slowly taking a deep breath and removing his hand from the archer to clinch them tightly together while wetting his lips. He was trying not to shake. How would anyone understand? If he told the truth, would Clint reconsider his earlier statement of content? Would he turn away as all of Asgard had? “It…was an illusion,” he turned away from him, deciding it was best to leave certain things alone. It was better if he believed a lie. “I created it to frighten you off.”

Clint glared at the back of his head, sensing something hollow within his tone. “Don’t lie to me. I can feel you’re hiding something.”

“I am hiding nothing!” Loki spat standing to wrap his arms around his body and stalked toward the edge of the blanket.

“Loki, I know you’re lying! I can feel you closing yourself off. You’re scared of something. Whatever it is, just tell me.” But the trickster remained stubbornly silent and still. Clint huffed and stared down at his knees. _Fine!_ If he was going to be that way, Barton would find a way to compromise. _Better to start learning how to do this now, especially if we’re going to be stuck with each other forever!_ He huffed rubbing at his face irritated.

“Loki,” he exhaled his anger and closed his eyes as he realised what he’d have to trade in order to find out the truth. “Loki…if you tell me the truth and explain it, I’ll…tell you the truth of my childhood.”

The god turned his head slightly and eyed the assassin warily. Clint knew he was weighing his options and the sincerity of his offer carefully. After a time, the god looked forward again and quietly sighed, defeated.

“Long ago, Laufey, king of Jötunheimr, and wielder of the Casket of Ancient Winters, came to Midgard and declared it his own. He brought a never-ending winter, destruction, and death upon the people of this realm. Odin All-father rallied together the Aesir and Vanir, bringing about the first of the Ancient Wars of the Nine Realms. They drove the rock and frost giants back to their own world, devastated their lands, slaughtered each family's first born child, and banished them from leaving their world again. Odin seized the Casket, for good measure, and returned to Asgard victorious while the Jötnar were left to lick their wounds and mourn their dead.”

He paused and looked down at his feet. “However…the Casket was not the only thing he took from the giants…he stumbled upon a pathetically small babe, left to die in the rubble of a temple. He took the repulsively tiny creature back to The Golden Realm and raised him as his so–” he stopped and swallowed closing his eyes. “…he raised him in lies…”

Clint nodded and softly asked, “So you are a frost giant?”

“I am a monster!” Loki viciously shouted into the open field, disturbing the butterflies that flattened themselves among the ground in fear of his anger. Clint saw his body coil with disgust and a dark cloud settled around him. “A low useless creature, a stolen relic, a broken tool that no longer serves a worthy purpose. Nothing. I am…nothing…” he sniffed and blinked away angry tears. Pitiful! He was utterly pitiful. How far he had fallen in such a short amount of time…

 _The universe is cruel;_ he reminded himself and tightened his arms around his body. _The Chitauri have stated such to be truth._ He flinched at the thought of the changeling race. They would be searching for him now…where would he have to hide? Odin would surely lock him away once he returned to Asgard, but they would still find him. They had…ways… He shivered again and turned those thoughts out of his mind for a time. He would worry about that after he finished dealing with this.

“My parents died when I was young,” Clint offered, trying to distract the god from the black twisted self-loathing thoughts he knew were warring in his fragile mind. “It was…a car accident…the rest of our family did not want to take care of my brother and I. They were either too old or had kids of their own and didn’t want to be burdened with two more mouths.” He pulled his knees toward his chest and hugged them tightly, closing his eyes and continued as his throat tightened.

“We bounced around foster homes for years…finally we just ran away. We were tired of being starved and beaten. So we found a circus, the Carson Carnival of Travelling Wonders, and climbed aboard. We didn’t have any special skills, but men are…men…” he swallowed and pressed his forehead to his knees. “I was eleven, Barney was fourteen. We…did things for food and a place to sleep. It was better than living in those stupid houses. We had freedom during the day to watch the performers and learn, and at night we…learned different things…” he took a breath and lifted his head to stare ahead as a cool gentle breeze ruffled the valley around them.

“Buck, he was a nice man; he didn’t touch us like the others. He taught me everything about archery: how to craft, string, hold, shoot, and love a bow; how to carve arrows; pick the best feathers and angles for the perfect shot. He even gave me my stage name,” he smiled remembering those moments. He hadn’t really thought much about his past since Barney had… he sighed, “Good old Trickshot…”

Loki turned slowly and went to sit next to him. “I apologise for –”

“No, stop.” Clint squeezed his eyes shut for a moment. “I don’t want to talk about that. I don’t want you to pity me. It’s fucked up and wrong, but at the time my brother and I had no other way. We just had each other…we had to survive. What _we_ did under the Tesseract was wrong in ways too…but…I…” he felt his ears grow hot with shame and he kept his eyes focused upon the land before him. “I wanted it. I wanted to punish myself.”

“Punish yourself?” The sorcerer asked baffled.

Clint did not respond, which left them to sit in uncomfortable silence for a time. The sun shifted behind the clouds and the butterflies began to glow bright green; flying up to dance among the flowers in courting patterns before settling down peacefully. The wind picked up a bit and Clint welcomed the cold wash over his skin. It helped sharpen his mind and pull him back to the present moment and their current problem.

“Does the thought of us being bound together bother you?”

Loki crossed his legs and rested his hands upon his thighs. “At first it did…I was…” he took a deep breath and whispered, now feeling his own sense of shame, “…frightened.” Barton looked at him and waited for the trickster to elaborate. He sighed and rolled his eyes, trying to play off his embarrassment for boredom, but continued. “I have never…found it easy to…express myself correctly; particularly after discovering my true…ancestry.”

Clint reached out and took the god’s hand in his, gently rubbing his thumb over the cool smooth skin. “So we are just going to swap stories about our feelings until we figure this out?”

“Is that not what you wished for?”

He turned his head away and realised he had wished that. He was going to have to be careful with thoughts like that from now on. He cleared his throat and rolled his shoulders as he tried getting himself to a comfortable place. He was never 100% grand with things like this. But it would make things easier in the long run…

“I still…I used to hate you…now I feel as if I can’t…” he flushed registering what he was saying and that he was touching Loki. He stilled his actions and went to turn away, “It’s stupid and cheesy.”

Loki caught his wrist and slid his hand back into the archer’s, clasping it with a reassuring squeeze. “If it helps, and you prefer, you may let me feel what you intended to speak? You need not ever vocalise such ‘cheesy’ thoughts again.”

Barton looked down at their entwined hands and then slowly back up into the god’s misty eyes. The sun reappeared from hiding behind the clouds and filled the area with soft warmth. He blinked back the glare in his eyes and the butterflies swarmed up into the sky; one massive swirling group of fluttering wings, changing between the glowing green and the elegant moonlit white-blue.

“Time is different here…” Loki took a deep breath and watched the insects fly around them. “But we have a while to wait…” he smirked looking in assassin’s direction, admiring the hidden wonder in his blue-green eyes as he viewed the scene before them.

Barton smiled and noticed the god’s staring. Returning the look, he leaned forward slowly, running his fingers through the silky raven locks with his left hand, before grabbing at the back of his head and pulling Loki’s mouth to meet his. They both moaned; Loki using his free hand to tug Clint on top of him as they explored the taste of their kiss, sinking back onto the blanket to enjoy the feel of each other connecting.

It felt good. It felt wrong in a small way too, but Clint reasoned it was because things were moving so fast for them again. Fast, but not the same way as before. This was different; like starting over again: new exciting and a little nerve wracking. He had never been good at maintaining relationships. In order to properly count his long list of failures he needed all of his fingers, toes, and then borrow several extra appendages from a neighbour or two.

It seemed, from Loki’s simple hesitant kisses and unsure flittering hands that he was in the same predicament. Clint grabbed his slim wrists and set one of the god’s hands on the side of his face and the other at his hip, before placing his own upon the trickster in a mirrored fashion. He parted his lips to flick his tongue along the seam of Loki’s soft pale mouth and made a small noise to encourage him that this was alright.

He responded by sucking on Clint’s bottom lip. He let his fingers trail down the archer’s throat and around to his back; gripping and massaging his muscular shoulders as he shifted to widen his legs. He knew it was probably too soon for them to engage in such activities, but the way Clint was sighing above him, mixed with the feel of his fingers curling tightly in his hair again, drove him crazy. It made him tingle all over with want.

Barton shuttered as Loki’s cold hands smoothed slowly down his back to grip his thighs, urging him closer. He twisted his tongue along the god’s and felt him hold back a moan. He smirked, pleased that he could still reduce this being to a raging mass of seduction and desire. Just as he was about to start rocking against the god, a sudden tidal wave of jumbled energy rose up and crashed down upon them.

It felt as if a giant bucket of frozen glass shards had been dumped upon them. Clint pulled away gasping for breath and squeezed his eyes shut as a rush of voices and foreign memories raced around inside of him, making him nauseous. Loki gripped his own temples, to help keep control of his own thoughts, before touching a hand to Barton’s. He moved it slowly over his brow several times and the chaos subsided, leaving a headache and a damper upon their mood.

“Is there a way to control that between us?” Barton breathed as he relaxed under the sorcerer’s gentle touch.

Loki paused and thought on it for a moment. “If there is,” he began slowly and removed his hand from Clint’s forehead. “Tempering with it could very well deepen the bond.”

He shrugged, “yeah, but if we are stuck with each other forever, wouldn’t it be easier to have some control over the connection? Better than have this happen in real life right?”

“True.” He raised his eyebrows in agreement. The archer sat up and Loki followed slowly, leaning back on his hands and tilting his head to the side. “If such a thing is no longer disconcerting to you, we may try.”

“Good,” Barton grinned. “How do we start?”

 -------------------------------------------------

 “How long has he been in this state?” Thor asked softly, rubbing his hands anxiously together.

“A few days. They have been pumping him full of this ‘Nightshade Sleep’ stuff for maybe three weeks. It started just after you left. We modified the formula as best as we could but,” Bruce fiddled with his glasses before putting them on and slipping a hand into his pocket. “Look, Thor…I’m sorry none of us told you. Fury tied our hands and threatened us. And yeah it’s Fury and I could easily knock his lights out, but he made us promise to keep it secret from the rest of the organisation and from the council for as long as possible.” He sighed and turned away to look at the observation window, on the opposite wall, where Barton’s still form lay among jumbles of cords and tubes plugged into machines keeping him stable. “The council wanted him dead. Fury hoped if someone could get Loki to talk, get some information about what he had planned. Then when you left with him we would be better prepared in case something happened.”

“He is my brother,” Thor’s voice cracked and he pressed his fists against his forehead keeping himself calm. When he found his voice sure again, he asked, “Is there no way to wake him up?”

“If we do, we risk whatever pain he is currently in, reflecting back on Clint.”

Thor looked now at said agent and nodded, taking a moment to try and think up his own solution to fix their problem. “Is there no safer way to keep them asleep? Something that could help them mend? Grow stronger? Something more than a small…adjustment?”

Banner looked around the room and walked to the god slowly considering his words. “Stark and I have been thinking about that since we were asked to study them,” he began in barely a whisper. “He’s built this house…it was supposed to be a surprise, but that can wait. If we can get both of them there without alerting anyone of where they are…then we can work on trying to fix them.”

Thor looked down at Loki again. “No chemicals?”

“Nothing to put him in this sort of harm,” he promised.

If there was one thing Thor knew, is that Bruce Banner would rather die than break a promise. He took a deep restoring breath and nodded his head. “What do you need me to do?”

 

 

 

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *gasping for breath* I LIVE! I did it! I made it to the end! A few days and I graduate! I have to officially become an adult and find a job...I don't know how this degree is going to work - but I made it and I'm just so elated! Thank you for being so patient with me. I actually had to cut this chapter in half because it became super long, so the next update shouldn't be too far off! Whoa for being extra prepared and head of things! We'll see how long that lasts...
> 
> Anyways, there is a story that comes along with all of the lovely information in this chapter, which can be found in the notes at the end. 
> 
> Thank you so much and enjoy reading!

\----------------------7---------------------

Bruce rubbed is temples as he flopped onto his bunk. Fuck his current job, fuck his mutated body, and fuck S.H.I.E.L.D. Being smart was exhausting! How did Tony manage it without going crazy?

“Brucy!!!”

“Oh speak of the devil,” he sighed and buried his face in a pillow. Now that he thought about it, Tony really wasn’t all that sane…

“Bruce!” Stark called and slammed his hands on either side of the door way to the gamma-specialists small bedroom.

“Hm?” he rolled over and rubbed his eyes slowly.

Tony strutted into the room waving his hands, “Oh cut the dramatics; I watched you walk in here. You can’t get out of this by feigning sleep.” He patted Bruce’s shoulder to get him to move over so he could sit on the edge of the bed. “I did it.”

“Yeah?” He adjusted his glasses and shifted so he was on his side facing Tony. “Good for you. Congrats. Now can I actually get some sleep? I have a headache.”

“Sleep when you’re dead! I don’t think you understand!” Tony leaned in super close, causing Banner to have the sudden fear he was going to be kissed. Thankfully the billionaire stopped just short of their noses meeting and whispered, “Twilight,” before moving back to give him space.

Bruce narrowed his eyes and removed his glasses so he could rub his face. That was it? He took a deep breath, “You mean the books?”

“What? No! Wait! There are books about this?”

“I mean it involves some funky supernatural stuff, like a crazy emotionally abusive vampire and–”

He held up his hand to cut Bruce off, “sounds really not fascinating; but no!” He then pointed at Banner’s chest. “This is different. This is what we’ve been missing from the formula.”

“But we know everything that is in it.”

“Not this.” He leaned in toward him again. “We were given the name of the chemical: A-Bd-2019, and its false nickname: Nightshade Sleep. We were told it was mainly a mixture of juices from the Belladonna Nightshade plant and mushrooms to produce a hallucinogenic affect upon the user, to cause them psychological trauma until they spilled the beans.”

“Wait,” he stopped suddenly and then pushed Tony away as he sat up quickly. Loki’s dilated pupils, off-beat heart rate, his constant need to be on intravenous therapy for fluids, his shortness of breath, the random shaking: He could have Hulked out and punched himself in the face. “Atropine! – A!”

“Belladonna – Bd,”

“Then the serial number was the successful batch?”

“That’s what I thought too,” he said pulling out a small pad of paper and a pen from his pocket. “But if you look at the full code it is: 20.23.09.12.09.07.08.20-19.12.05.05.16,” he circled the numbers and then began drawing four columns, writing out the alphabet in two of them, before briefly showing it to Banner. “Fury has to think we’re idiots, look: A is 1, B is 2, C is 3, and so on.”

“So the serial code is actually the name of what the formula is?”

“Yes. It spells – give me a second,” he went through and spelled out the word under the numbers and then handed it to Bruce.

“T.W.I.L.I.G.H.T-S.L.E.E.P,” he nodded setting the pad down so he could get up and rummage through some of his books. “I remember reading about it, my grandmother used to grow nightshade because she said it scared off goblins or whatever she believed in. It was used to help women with labour pains. They were fully conscious but delusional. They had to stop using it because it caused psychological and emotional harm to the mothers. They would remember going into labour but wake up expecting to still be in it, and find a strange child in their arms that they did not remember birthing. Some mothers refused to take care of the babies, saying that they had lost theirs and the doctor had tricked them with some orphan to keep them from grief or something – here it is!” He flipped the book around and showed the entry to Stark.

“You just keep ancient medical textbooks around, for fun?” he levelled him a judging look.

“I read them,” Banner glared defending himself.

“For fun?”

“Just read it!”

“I don’t like being handed things.”

“I know. That’s why _I’m_ holding it up for you to _read_ dumbass!”

Tony clamped his mouth shut, taken aback by the sudden small change in the scientist’s character, but did not comment further. He scanned the page’s longer detailed version of whatever Bruce had just been rambling about. He was only half listening, something about babies and mothers not wanting their kids and emotional harm and blah blah stuff. That part wasn’t interesting. The way it worked and how it was put together was.

“It says there is no set recipe but it has a base of animal fat and needs a binding agent to keep the user from dying from the poisonous aspect of the nightshade.”

Banner flipped a page and pointed to an old ink sketch of a poppy plant.

“Opium,” they both said at the same time.

“The sleep-truth drug,” Bruce finished and shut the book taking a few steps back as they both let this new knowledge sink in.

This changed everything. How they handled Clint and Loki being moved, their cure, their recovery process – everything!

“Loki knew…” Tony whispered and stood suddenly. “Loki knew. He knew what was being put into him and channelled it at Clint.”

“Okay, I don’t like the guy either, but that’s pushing things a bit far. He is a bad guy, but he’s not 100% evil,” he put the book down and stuffed his hands in his pockets. “More like…85? 70?” he shrugged, “92?”

“No, when we woke him up, he was muttering something.” Stark began pacing about the room. “The whole point of the original drug was to make people delusional but still conscious without remembering anything that happened to them, but that was for _humans_. This is some god-like being: a whole other race and biological structure. This is S.H.I.E.L.D., and they tempered it. They said Fury ordered them to add extra mushrooms to this batch to boost the nightmare effect on Loki; but they had to have all sorts of other crazy things in it to begin with. Things that would probably have killed a normal human if they kept them on it for this long! The notes say no one survives more than a dozen doses of the original formula.”

“So according to the logs, that means Loki has had enough to wipe out half the organisation,”

“Exactly, but it doesn’t affect him the same.” Tony stopped to stand before Banner. “Okay, people are injected, right?”

“Right,”

“They go into this sleep thing for several hours and then wake up completely changed. Only they were never actually asleep.”

“I’ve never had the desire to torture anyone, other guy or just me, so I don’t understand how that works in this situation.”

“Being exposed to it causes hallucinations. The person thinks they are dreaming. They have all of these horrible nightmares. While they are reliving these really bad moments in their life, there is someone in the room asking them questions. They are consciously answering them but subconsciously unaware, because their brain is too busy dealing with trauma and shit.”

“Wow…” Banner raised his eyes brows shocked. “That is…that is pretty evil…I knew S.H.I.E.L.D. was shifty, but –”

“Trust me this isn’t even the half of it.”

“I don’t think I honestly want to know the rest.” He felt green, and not completely due to the fact that he was starting to become sick to his stomach. He shook himself and continued on. The sooner they figured this out, the sooner they could finalise a plan to leave. “But Loki didn’t do that. The reports said he just went under. His eyes would stay open if he didn’t close them before hand, but he was not ‘responding like the others’.”

“Remember when we were waking him up to ask him about the stuff between him and Clint?” Bruce nodded. “Okay, he was muttering. He was saying he was sorry. ‘Tell Clint I apologise. I…this…for…’ and then he woke up.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means Loki knows what is going on between them; he probably has from the start. He obviously hasn’t told Clint anything. He knew the drug did not affect him the way Fury wanted it to, so he kept resisting. The marks on his lips, they weren’t just from being chapped, he was biting them. Loki was biting his lips to keep himself from talking, because it affected him just before he went under and just as he was waking up.”

Bruce crossed his arms and took a moment to consider this. “Okay, so say that all of this is true, does that mean he is bad and still looking to harm Earth? Or did he purposely send this pain to Clint for another reason?”

Tony threw his hands up. “I don’t – it’s the truth drug!”

“He is the God of Lies.”

“But is he powerful against an opium compound or is that his kryptonite?”

“So, what; Loki purposely let slip he was being tortured? He then waited until Clint came to his rescue, and for the moment they would use the drug on him again, so he could send it to him...? Why?”

“According to legends Loki is a troublemaker, but he is also a loner. If you suddenly found yourself magically married to someone and if they _were_ able to slip into your thoughts, where would you hide?”

“That is why he asked us to halve the dose and hook up morphine to Clint!” Banner slapped his hand to his forehead as a ton of light bulbs burst to life inside of his head. “Clint isn’t even in a coma! He has just been forced into sleep.”

“That is why he shows signs of REM sleep and shifts a little, but Loki doesn’t.”

Banner shook his head and went to sit down on his bed, rubbing his forehead. This was all starting to become a lot more complicated than he’d liked to deal with. “But why? Why would he do this?”

Tony rolled his eyes but put his hands in his pockets and stared at the floor. “Hey, do you want to run away and get married?”

He looked up at the billionaire shocked. “What?”

Tony shrugged, “you heard me. Let’s go get married.”

“Tony, stop joking.”

“I’m not.”

“This is ridiculous!”

“Just answer the question.”

“We can’t.”

“Why not?”

“You’re with someone; I like to be alone and women; and it’s illegal in America. Besides, we barely really know…” the answer suddenly dawned on him. “Oh…”

“Yep…” Stark nodded and sat in the swivel chair across from him.

The gamma-specialist’s voice grew quiet and he rubbed his chin slowly, “he did this so that they could work out their differences before they faced us.”

“Because Clint is technically with someone; Loki likes to be alone, and probably prefers females too; and it is illegal to level a city and threaten the world, because you were bored, in America. Also, they hardly know each other outside of being mind-slaves, which was technically illegal too…”

“This changes so many things…” he said, more to himself than the billionaire, and stared intently at the floor.

“Yeah.”

They both sighed and sat in silence for several minutes before Bruce came back to life and stretched. “I’m going to go check on them…” Banner said rubbing his face tiredly and rose from the bed.

“No, I bothered you while you were trying to sleep. I’ll do it.” Tony stood and went to the door. “I couldn’t help the thought. If I didn’t come here and tell you, then I would have spilled it to someone else.” He nodded his head and softened his voice. “Get some rest. I’m going to go talk to Romanoff and Captain Always-Follows-Rules about tomorrow.”

“Okay,” he laid back down and removed his watch to set a timer. “Hey.”

“Yeah?” He turned around halfway into the next tiny room.

“That quip about Roger’s, weak.”

Tony’s smile was tired and half-assed. “I know…I think I am starting to like him.”

“Oh no,”

“My dad is doing victory laps in his grave.”

“Sibling inadequacy syndrome?”

“You made that up.”

“Sure,” he shrugged and settled onto his back.

“Night!” Tony called leaving.

“Don’t eat all of my chex mix!”

“Will do!”

The sound of the door sealing shut and the sudden flood of silence brought back to Bruce’s attention the massive headache that he had originally came in there to deal with. He ran his hand along the side of his bed and found the control panel. He pushed the button to turn off the lights and groaned as he rolled onto his stomach to bury his face in a cool pillow. “He won’t eat it all…” he muttered as sleep slowly took hold of him and eased the throbbing in the front of his skull. “I’d Hulk-punch his ass into space…”

  -------------------------------------------------

The plan Stark and Banner created the next day was simple. Romanoff was to sneak into Barton’s rooms, grab his bow and other irreplaceable valuables, hack the system from his account, shut it down, and get to Stark’s room before their floor was put into lockdown. Once that was initiated, creep through the air vents to the hangar to commandeer a jet and wait for everyone else.

Stark was to be in the lab pretending to brew a replacement concoction for the one Loki was on.  He would accidentally knock something off the counter, go to retrieve it from under the table and discreetly break the gas burner handle. His phone alarm would go off and he would fake receiving an emergency call, in regards to Clint’s health, and run out of the lab, leaving the vile residue of the experiment to take effect. Rogers would meet up with Tony and break into the weapons vault to reset all missiles and break the main circuits before leaving for the Medical Ward.

Thor was to wait outside the Med-Ward, creating a storm to disrupt the receivers for an easy break in the system for Widow and Tony to hack into. Once security started locking sections down, he would have a confrontation with Banner, grab Loki, and head towards the hangars. Steve and Stark would show up and grab Clint not long after.

Everyone would meet up at the jet Romanoff procured, and disappear for a while. The details were set; their things were packed; everyone had the private file sent to them; and the meeting had gone over smooth enough, even with a few bumps worked out, all they had to do was wait for the morning to strike.

  -------------------------------------------------

0900 hours: The clock on the wall ticked as the big hand slid into place before the twelve. Romanoff turned to look away from it and sat a little closer to Clint’s still form. She picked up his hand and pressed it too her cheek for a moment and then placed it back onto his stomach with a gentle squeeze.

“выздоравливай скорее,” she whispered before rising from his bedside. As she left, she passed Rogers in the waiting room. He was reading over the files Banner and Stark had sent them yesterday regarding Loki and Clint’s current situation. The thought of them actually being bound together made her physically sick, but she put those feelings on a shelf and, catching the soldier’s eye, briefly nodded at him. He returned the gesture in his polite old-fashioned way, turning to rise from his seat when Banner walked out of Loki’s room to speak with him.

Natasha turned away from their made up conversation and focused on her part of the plan. Making her way to Barton’s rooms would not be hard, nor would getting in be her problem. She was fairly certain she was the only one, of the three others that knew his passcodes, apart from himself who could work his mission computer. No the main problem wouldn’t be that or hacking into S.H.I.E.L.D., she had done that often enough in the past; her obstacle in this whole ordeal would be the desire to complete it.

Punching in Barton’s code, _Barney_ , she stepped inside the dark rooms. The lights flickered on automatically at her first step in, subtle and soft, and she looked around the space. It was odd being in there when Clint wasn’t. It felt too still, too empty… She shook her head and turned her attention on gathering his things: a few clothes, bows, arrows, surviving pictures, journals, and the tiny macaroni frame he kept hanging over his hammock.

Natasha set the duffle bag next to the door before she took up the chair at his desk. It would take a bit before her next move could be made, but she was well known for her patience and eye for detail during missions.

 _“You’re so anal retentive.”_ He had once told her. Her reply had been to knock him upside the head with her foot.

 _“I was just messing around!”_ He had wined and rubbed the welt forming on the side of his face. _“I did not say being that way was a bad thing.”_ His laugh had made her pause in her next action. The smile on his face, the carefree nature of the sound of his mirth, it made something inside of her crack a little.

He had stood up and dusted himself off, _“We need more people like you. I’m tired of being the only one.”_ That was when she had decided to defect from her old ways for good.

Romanoff squeezed her eyes shut and shook herself again. Why was she doing this to herself now? It had been hard enough trying to talk herself into going along with _and_ keeping the part about saving Loki into the plan. Why should she risk her life and position when he had tried to destroy the world she had worked so hard to fit into?

_“I don’t want to do it.” She confessed to the soldier as she continued to walk away from the meeting room they had secured for their privacy from S.H.I.E.L.D._

_“I know,” Steve kept his voice calm as he caught up to her and put his hands on her shoulders, getting her to stop for a moment. “But if we can just get them –”_

_“No!” she pulled away from him. How could he understand? Even if she did save both of them, it wouldn’t be the same Clint coming back. The man waking up could be different. Changed…no longer her Barton…_

_“Natasha,” he pleaded and continued to follow her. How could he get her to understand? If they didn’t save both of them, S.H.I.E.L.D. would have to turn them over to the council. If they got a hold of the two of them…if what Bruce and Tony said were true… he had to try and convince her that this was the best option._

_When they came to her rooms she had stopped and put her hand on the cool door. It helped her anchor herself and cleared her mind. She took a few deep breaths and turned a little to him, signally that she was ready to listen again._

_“I don’t like this any more than you, but if we can get them to safety…if we can get all of us out from under the council’s reach, we can understand what is going on…we can help him.” He walked toward her and put his hands on her shoulders again. “I know you care about Barton. I know you want to help him. You’re not the only one with mixed feelings over Loki, but –”_

_“Stop,” she whispered holding up her hand. “I…I’ll do it.” Steve smiled and opened his mouth to say something but she cut him off again. “I’m not doing this for anyone; I’m not doing this for Thor or to keep peace between planets or us or whatever. I’m not even doing this for L–” she swallowed down the bitter taste in the back of her mouth. “I’m doing this for Barton…so he can get better.”_

_“Whatever your reason, I accept it.” He smiled and pulled her into a tight embrace. “Thank you.”_

_Natasha felt something inside of her snap. Her chest felt as if someone had punched her and she began crying. She pushed herself out of his arms and ran into her room, quickly locking herself inside. She held her hand to her lips as she slid down the cold panel to the floor and gave herself over to her anger and grief._

She shivered and slapped herself across the face. No. She would not back out. This was for Barton. Their world no longer held just the two of them; they had to share it with others now. After all of these years, if it meant saving him, she could let others in again. She was determined to see this through.

  -------------------------------------------------

0915: Stark dropped 5 grams of biotin into the slightly purple tinted liquid and flipped the burner on. As he set the scoopula down he bumped his bag of pretzels over.

“Shit!” he shouted and got on his hands and knees to pick up the scattered pieces of delicious chocolate coated bits that had fallen under the table. That hadn’t been what he intended for, but hey, his Fate worked in odd ass ways. He’d take what he could get, even if it meant sacrificing these tasty things. He could get more, he had the means too.

Tony swept them into a pile and reached forward, finding the green plastic capped handle and twisted it to the side, opening up the gas line more.

Tony pulled out the wrench from under his shirt he had strapped there that morning. He tested the weight a bit before swinging it forward and down, bending the handle back so that it could not be turned off again. Stark scooped up the pretzel casualties and tossed them in the bin. He sighed as he twisted the burner controls to automatically raise the temperature over a short period of time. As upsetting as losing the rest of his snack was, he knew it was a sign his day was going to turn out right. That was a bonus he liked to count on.

His pocket buzzing told him it was 9:20: _“The jig is up the news is out they’ve finally found me. The reengage who had it made, retrieved for a bounty. Never more to –”_

Show time! “Hello?” he said after pushing the dismiss button on the screen to his Starkphone. He waited a few seconds and then nodded his head. “Yeah, I can be there. Is something up?” he turned away from the beaker fizzing and bubbling rapidly. “What? No!” he moved across the room in a hurry and grabbed his coat. “No I’m on my way! No, shut up Brucy, I’ll be there in a sec!” He hit a random button on his phone, said Clint’s name in as concerned of a voice he could manage, and raced from the room.

He pushed the lock button on the outside of the lab door and headed toward the medical ward, veering left instead of right and took a set of stairs down the to the weapon’s vault. Tony snickered to himself as he dropped the rushed panic act; he was a damn good actor, and no one could deny that.

Stark rounded a corner and found Steve pushing the door panel to the side. “What are you laughing about?” Steve asked as he dusted his hands off.

Tony looked him over and gave a silent prayer to the sky. Bless that little blonde bastard’s heart; he was already in his spangly spandex suit.

“Oh nothing,” he replied instead and climbed through the gape, pulling out a sensor and a thin screw driver from his jacket pockets. “Did you bring the receiver tags?”

“Yeah,” Rogers held out the flimsy dark sheet with tiny blinking dots.

“Start fitting them to the missiles toward the back,” he gave him the screw driver and flipped the senor on. “Screen?”

Steve handed him the tablet screen he had been using earlier. “They’re not visible, how am I –”

“I’m pulling them up now,” Tony sassed as he tapped open and activated a few programs on the clear surface. “By the time you get there, they should be opened.”

Rogers nodded and raced to fulfil his designated task. As he approached the back of the vault, several dozen racks of slim light grey metallic missiles rose before him.

“What are these?” he breathed in horrified wonder. The last time he had seen such a weapon they had been as wide and twice as big as he was tall. These were as wide as his arm and no taller than him at max.

“Missiles.” Tony replied as he scanned a few crates with the senor before coming to stand next to him. “Some are ballistic, some cruise, some guided – but they are all adaptable. Long-rang, short, air to whatever you need in orbit, land or sea: they can take anything out.”

“How do you know this?”

Stark stopped and stared at the floor hard. “I made them…” he confessed and shifted his mood back to easy confidence as he continued to scan the area around them.

“You…made them?”

“Just hurry and put the tags on them, I can only keep them open so long before someone notices!”

Steve did as he was told, quickly running up and down the rows, pulling off the tiny pin sized dots and pressing them onto the outer shells with the funky screw driver. They’d flash several times before going dark, and something inside of the missile would pop.

Tony busied himself with the task of looking for the sceptre as well as overriding the main computer’s defences to plant a bug in the targeting system. Natasha and him would send files and codes back and forth to each other; programs falling opened or dissolving from the main system as they worked quickly to bring it down.

A few more rows of the heavy cased boxes and still no sign of the magic staff. He was starting to become frustrated: he was okay at finding things, but he was great at programs, and all of these sudden error messages popping up on his screen were pissing him off. What was taking Romanoff so long in securing him control? He was about to send her a message when the sensor in his hand went off.

“Over here,” he called and sent Bruce the files S.H.I.E.L.D. had of himself, erasing the original existing ones.

Steve raced to him and handed over the now empty sheet, pocketing the screw driver. “Done, and just in time, as I was setting the last one on, it was going back into the floor.”

“Good,” the billionaire nodded and gestured to the case before them, barely taking his eyes off the screen as more information surfaced. “This is it.”

“You sure?”

“We’ll find out once we reach the mansion. The codes for this box are too complex for me to crack here, it would take too long, but the readings Banner and I got off of the sceptre before match the ones coming from within.”

“Is that everything?”

“Yeah, I just got access to the main computer, which means Romanoff is done. Grab it and go. We have to get Barton soon.”

As they made their way out Rogers stopped and set the case down. “Wait!”

“No, we don’t have time! I can only cancel the alarms so many times before they come on automatically.”

“I forgot the circuits!” He called apologetically as he went back in and opened the panel box next to the door. He ripped the wires clear from the board and dropped them onto the ground. The lights in the area blew out and sirens instantly began wailing. He raced out toward the lift, were Stark was waiting. They sped up to the next level just as the security system kicked in and sealed off the lower decks.

  -------------------------------------------------

0945: Romanoff’s fingers flew across the keys as the weather outside shifted from a light misty blue to a dark grey and thunder rattled the ship. The charged air around her seemed to pop and zap and it made her basic instincts kick in. All emotions and personal dilemmas aside, she was given orders and she would carry them out to the full and best of her extent. Natasha shut down all automatic controls, sent access to the main computer to Stark, and disengaged the navigation system. The computer screen flashed a warning, which she ignored, and instead ran for the door, grabbing Barton’s bag, and headed to Stark’s room. The screen turned red and sirens began echoing around the corridors behind her.

  -------------------------------------------------

01000: Thor paced outside the waiting room gripping Mjölnir; her power sang up his arm and into the air surrounding the ship. He was keeping it light and low, just enough to cause a problem, but nothing to cause too much attention.

_“Are you upset at us?” Rogers had asked him that evening as they left the mess hall and headed back to their rooms._

_“No, Lord Rogers, I am no longer angry at anyone.”_

_“Even Fury?” Tony prodded in his usual annoying manner._

_Thor shook his head. “I cannot afford that emotion to cloud my judgement now. I must make sure Loki is safe first. Once that is secured…then…” he nodded and felt the phantom thrum of anger pulse from deep within his heart. It was obvious his unexpressed words had impacted his fellow companions in a negative way. Part of him felt sorry for it too. He did not wish harm or fear to them. They were trying to help him. He only wished…_

Thor opened his eyes as his ears picked up the sweeping wave of high pitched wailing coming to life one by one along the halls. He took a calming breath and relaxed himself before putting his hammer to rest at his belt and making his move. He opened the door and felt a whole new set of worry crawl over him. He hoped he could remember the script Banner wrote.

Thor raised his chin slightly and strode into the room. “Lord Banner, greetings to you!” he smiled and raised his voice so that the security camera operators would take notice.

“Thor, hello,” he smiled and came around the bed, pulling his glasses off. “What brings you here?”

“I came to see my brother.” Thor saw Bruce wince at his voice. It was a bit too obvious that there was something unnatural about his tone. He gave him a small apologetic grin.

Bruce nodded his head slightly and continued on. “You saw him yesterday; I told you I’d call you if anything changed.”

“I…” Thor frowned and then looked down at the floor. What was his next line? He couldn’t remember it. “I under…”

“Yes, Thor?” Banner patiently prompted. There was no response. “Do you understand this perhaps?”

Thor looked up at Bruce who raised his eyebrow nervously waiting. The God of Thunder took a step forward and punched the scientist in the face. “Apologises!” He shouted and scooped up Loki’s still and sickly form carefully. At the door he hesitated, looking down at the still figure in his arms. _To honour you brother_ , he smiled and turned around, staring straight at the man holding his nose and struggling on the ground to not change into the other guy. “I do what I want,” he stated and rushed out.

  -------------------------------------------------

01007: Romanoff pushed the door to Stark’s suite opened and blasted the air vent out before tossing the duffle bag, as well as her own bag she had left in the room earlier, into it and lifted herself up. She quickly dropped the time sensitive bomb onto the ground below and scurried through the ducts. As she kicked the vent opened that lead into the jet-repair station, a resounding bang echoed back from the way she had came. She dropped the bags down and landed behind some cargo, giving herself a moment to breathe before surveying the area. Code red: there were three men laughing over a box of doughnuts off to her left and five more to her right. The ones chatting were workers and unarmed…they were going first…

“Great…” she breathed and activated the ‘Widow’s Bite’ on her wrists. She crept toward a stack of repair parts and waited.

“So then the bitch had the nerve to report me to Fury!”

“She is just awful!”

“Yeah, fuck Hill. She’s just upset he won’t give her the time of day.”

“Or does he?”

Natasha rolled her eyes and heavily sighed, restraining her disgust of the men, and picked up a small scrap bit to toss across the way.

The men fell silent. “What was that?”

“Nothing. Just Louis dropping his tools again.”

“No…I thought…” one walked closer to where she was hiding. She remained completely still until he had passed her, before she crept forward on her hands and knees and grabbed him by the leg, pulling him down and out of the way. Romanoff pulled a slim black tool from her belt and pressed it to his throat, shooting him with a sleeping dart.

“Harry? Harry!” The sound of scrambling feet was followed by one of the men shouting for the others to come over and help.

She pulled up her hood and covered her face with the black piece of cloth at the front of her suit, turning around with well-prepared kick for the first man’s face. He landed on the ground, his other companion tripping over him. She pulled out two more dart cartages and emptied them into the men.

The other five showed up, each going down without much of a fight. The first she used to push herself off and knock the second to the ground, flipping the first to land on top of him, and punched both in the back with her stunning ‘bite’. The third man she had to kick his gun out of his hands and stabbed him in the side with the sleeping dart before turning to kick the fourth in the nuts. He cried out and dropped his weapon to grip his abused parts and fell to his knees. She punched him to the ground and pulled out her stun gun, shooting him with it and turned to go after the last guy. He took one look at her and ran up the stairs. He didn’t get very far though; in his haste he miss calculated the height of the next step and tripped, knocking himself unconscious as he slid down a few of the metal rungs.

“Pathetic,” she rolled her eyes as she pulled her mask a hood down. She grabbed her bags, along with the box of doughnuts, before selecting the jet of her choice. It was Mk III Viking, one of the newer models. Sleek, fast, and easy to handle. Switching the lights on, she walked in and broke opened the control panel. The ship’s security system kick started to life.

“No stay still, babe. This won’t hurt.” She said as she began re-wiring the system, pulling out the tracking chip and set about strengthening the outside shields.

  -------------------------------------------------

 01015: Stark and Rogers stepped off the lift and ran into Thor. He blinked at them, looked down at Loki, and then back up at them. Well…this wasn’t part of their plan…

“Ehhh….what are you doing there, buddy?” Stark offered, aware of the cameras pointed at them and the noise of the alarms growing louder.

“Nothing…”

A loud crash and roar came from Loki’s former room. They all stared, wide-eyed at it stunned. One of the monitors smashed through a window.

“Oh no!” Rogers ran toward Barton’s room just as Hulk tore the wall down.

“Uh…Thor,”

“Yes Lord Stark?”

“What did you do?”

Hulk spotted them and roared charging forward.

“RUN!” Stark dropped back into the glass lift and shut the door, stopping the machine to wait for Rogers as Thor bolted toward the emergency stairs to draw the other guy’s attention away from them.

Rogers peeked out from the door and motioned for Stark to open the lift. He hefted Clint over his shoulder and carried him swiftly into the elevator.

“Alright, Tasha should be on the fourth floor.” He whispered punching the button to close the door.

“What are you doing?” Stark hit the button to keep it opened.

“What?”

“You can’t carry him over your shoulder like that.”

Roger’s just rolled his eyes and shifted the archer into a bridal style carry. “Here, hold the bags.”

Stark took the coloured medicine bags from the captain’s hands and then face palmed. “Steven!”

“What!?”

“We said not the yellow!”

“What colours were they?” he asked innocently confused.

“Green and red.”

“Like Christmas?”

“LIKE CHRISTMAS!” Tony cried exasperated.

The lights on their floor flickered and the lift jolted violently. A distant roar shook the area a second later. They looked at each other panic stamped plainly on their faces.

“I’ll hold the lift?”

“I’ll grab the right bags.” Stark raced out before “the big guy” decided to back track and go after them instead of the two gods.

  -------------------------------------------------

01025: Romanoff pushed herself out from under the air craft and dusting her pants off. She was five minutes ahead of schedule. _Good_ , she nodded and stretched. The deck’s lights flashed and the ground rattled. There was a noise off in the distance…a pounding that grew louder and louder. It made her blood run cold…she knew that sound…she knew the feeling of the ground…

“LADY TASHA!” She whirled around ready to strike and frowned as Thor ran toward her, top speed, holding Loki tightly to his body. He wasn’t supposed to show up for another three minutes. “Lady Tasha, entre the mechanical bird! HURRY!”

Just as he spoke the last word, Hulk burst through the wall behind him, twisting and throwing metal and concrete at the god. Romanoff sprung into the craft and belted herself behind the controls, flaring the Mk III Viking jet to life. Panic coursed through her and she fumbled as she tried to put the comlink in her ear.

“Iron and America,” she called activating their private links.

“Yeah Widow?” came Stark’s usually irritating superior tone.

“We have a situation.”

“We know. Get the jet in the air; we’ll catch up with you.”

“Go milady!” Thor called running toward a side entrance to the next garage, Hulk hot on his tail.

Romanoff closed the back hatch and steered the Viking toward the opened exit/entrance space, flying out into the air. She circled around the area a few times before she heard noise from the link. She pushed the piece into her ear more.

“Widow!” Rogers called, his voice garbled from wind rushing into this comlink piece.

“Yeah?”

“Open the back!”

“What?”

“OPEN THE BACK OF THE JET! WE’RE GOING TO CRASH! FOR THE LOVE OF SWING DANCING! TONY, SLOW DOWN!”

She flipped the switch and the exit ramp lowered, sucking the air from the cabin. She turned and found Stark in his Iron Man suit holding Rogers with Clint strapped to his chest. Their landing was ungraceful, but with no further injuries or delays they managed to belt Barton into one of the benches and clipped the fluid bags to the ceiling.

“What happened?” she yelled back at them over the noise of the wind as she put on an air mask.

“Just get to hangar twelve.” Stark ordered clipping safety cables to his suit and Roger’s belt as the captain pulled on his own respirator.

“Who messed this up?” she demanded turning the craft back toward the Hellicarrier.

“It doesn’t matter. There is enough chaos going on in there, no one is watching what this plane is doing.”

Romanoff hung a left and was just about to reach the entrance to the hangar when Thor jumped from its opening and began plummeting toward the opened sea below.

“Son of a –” she jerked the steering forward and dropped after him.

“This is a mess!” Rogers cried gripping the metal rungs overhead to keep himself from falling.

“Stop being a diva, that’s my job,” Stark countered, turning to watch the gods carefully through the front glass. “Come on,” he hissed as JARVIS flashed warning signs and calculations across the screen of his suit. “Come on! Fly you giant blond Viking bastard!”

At that moment lightning twisted in the sky and thunder rumbled which jarred the craft and forced them to swing a little off course. Thor reversed his position, ascending toward the jet, which Romanoff almost didn’t pull up in time to avoid a collision. The god dropped onto the ramp throwing the craft off balance for a second. She flipped the back hatch closed again just as Hulk leaped from the hangar after them. Romanoff punched a few more buttons and then sped off.

“What about Banner?” Stark demanded angrily as his face plate slid opened. “We can’t leave him! He’s falling!”

“Right, and so are we.” She tapped rapidly on the controls and pulled her mask down around her neck. “Strap yourselves in, it’s about to get very bumpy.”

Rogers helped Thor secure Loki and himself in, before they all held on tightly as the jet gave a rough jerk.

“What was that?”

“That, _Stark_ , is the titanium cable rope I attached to the bottom of the craft for Banner to catch if he didn’t transform into his human self before we took off!” She flipped her hair out of her face and focused her anger on controlling the jet, instead of turning around and punching his demanding face in. “Someone had to make sure there were backup plans just in case things went wrong.”

“We’re crashing.” Rogers panicked, staring out the large windows.

“No, this is how we disappear,” she calmly let go of the controls and gripped the arm rests of her seat taking a deep breath. “Into the ocean.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Russian Romanoff speaks is basically "Get well soon" and was translated by one of the foreign exchange students. If it's wrong, then her life is a lie and she's not actually who she says she is O_O.
> 
>  **Atropine** is a naturally occurring tropane alkaloid taken from the Belladonna or deadly nightshade plant. It can also be found in other plants of the Solanaceae family, but it most commonly from Belladonna. Atropine basically tells the muscles and glands controlled by your parasympathetic nervous system to relax or stop working. Because of this effect it causes dilation of the pupils, increases heart rate, and reduces fluid production in your body (saliva, tears, stomach acid, etc). It is a very helpful drug when used correctly, but can be deadly if used incorrectly.
> 
>  **Belladonna, Deadly Nighshade** is a toxic plant used in many medicines since forever as a pain reliever, muscle relaxer, anti-inflammatory to treat menstrual problems, peptic ulcer disease, histaminic reaction, and motion sickness. It has a remarkable ability, when combined with other poisonous substances, to neutralise and eliminate their toxic affects. It was also used for many years as a beauty product for women, as eye drops to dilate their pupils, supposedly giving them a seductive and alluring aura. It really just caused them to go blind...or insane...or both...Symptoms of Belladonna poisoning include dilated pupils, sensitivity to light, blurred vision, tachycardia, loss of balance, staggering, headache, rash, flushing, severely dry mouth and throat, slurred speech, urinary retention, constipation, confusion, hallucinations, delirium, and convulsions.
> 
>  **Twilight Sleep** was a real thing, and pretty much everything about it worth knowing is mentioned in this chapter.
> 
> Now for a fun story! Because I did all of this research and looked up hallucinogenic drugs, nightshade, and opium (and because my private college is ran by psychos) the dude that overlooks EVERYTHING people look up online on this campus saw my searches and flagged me! I was just minding my own business looking up folklore on poppyseeds and nightshade and the next second my inbox is blowing up with warnings and there is a cop pounding on my door. Apparently, looking up, "how to make twilight sleep" would have been a much better option for me than, "atropine and how it affects the human body". Not sure why, but as I said before, this place is run by crazies. 
> 
> After a fun little chat with the officer (he was pretty young and understanding, also is a Vision and Scarlet Witch fan - who knew1) and an awkweird explanation to my advisor, almost all of the Student Life and Housing staff, and the freaking science department, about why I was researching this stuff they finally unlocked my user info and I was allowed to continue my internet using needs. The police are cool with it, the science department is like "if you need more info on plants, here's a list of books", and my adviser just doesn't care one way or another, but the Life and Housing people are still holding a grudge. 
> 
> Oh the shit one learns while writing fanfiction...*shakes head*. Loki and Clint next chapter!


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tried to make this as Clint/Loki centric as possible to make up for the lack of them being in the last chapter.  
> Hopefully everything still is making sense...regardless, please enjoy reading the fluffy angst!

 

\----------------------8---------------------

The rush of their minds joining caused his skin to prickle. It had taken them what felt like days, but could have been a few hours, to find some sort of steady and easy flow between their thoughts.

There were snippets of memories: Loki racing across a field with his brother toward a tall elegantly strong woman. Him sitting off to the side watching other children with wooden swords play fighting; the shock at the loss of a tooth; curled in a corner crying alone; setting a horde of spiders on a group of women who ran in terror; and shyly kissing another awkward teenager in a stairwell. Clint felt Loki’s dread over his first kill and the elated joy of being covered in the odd beast’s blood; the feeling of falling through nothing…darkness…cold eyes and then –

Clint jolted and gasped as he gripped at his chest to try to keep his rapidly beating heart from jumping out. His hand found another in the way and he shut his eyes tightly for a moment to let his racing thoughts settle. When he opened them, he found Loki leaning over him, one hand over his heart the other hand soothingly running over his forehead from temple to temple as the images and emotions faded from his mind.

Clint took a deep breath and squeezed the god’s cool hand as his body relaxed. “What was that?”

“My mind,” his voice was calm and even, yet it was obvious his thoughts were unfocused from his words.

“No, that last one.”

Loki stared into his eyes for a moment, but kept his mouth shut. He withdrew his hands and turned his gaze to look out over the field. He had forgotten most of those memories. He realised how little his mind had retained after…he swallowed and put _that_ out of his thoughts. _That_ was not important; Clint and their relationship had priority.

“Loki,” Clint sat up trying to figure out the crazy puzzle sitting before him.

“Another day,” he promised softly.

The archer shifted to lie down again, giving in for the time being. “What did you see from my end?”

“I did not look.”

“What do you mean you didn’t look?” his voice bordered on anger and exasperation.

“I did not fully open my end of the connection.”

“What!?” he made to sit up again but was stopped by Loki’s gentle hand pushing him back down.

“I wanted to be sure your mind was strong enough for the next phase.”

“What phase?”

The sorcerer looked at him, “sleep now.”

Barton rolled his eyes and snapped, “I already am. What phase?”

“Later.”

He was starting to grow tired of this back and forth chasing shadows game. “You said we didn’t have much time.”

“From the outside, no.”

“And…?”

The god was silent for a while. “What do you know about the chemicals they have used upon me?

He shrugged. “Not much. I already told you how they are supposed to work on humans. Why?”

Loki fell silent again. He looked down at his crossed legs and picked at the laces of his boots. Barton was torn between being frustrated and concerned; something was bothering the god and he was going to find out. He reached out and touched his knee. “Tell me about Asgard.”

He scoffed, “what about it?”

“What is it like there?”

Loki closed his eyes and inhaled deeply taking a moment to collect his thoughts. “It is beautiful: The Golden Realm. I do not even know if I can describe it. It would not do it justice. It would make it too plain, too flat, too dull…too still for all of her…life.” He tilted his head, deep within his own mind, as he sought out the words. The sight of Loki’s sad expression made Clint feel guilty. So this hadn’t been what was bothering him. Still…it couldn’t hurt to let him finish. He turned is head away and waited for him to continue.

“Life. That is what the city is: life and death struggling to find balance. Machine and nature…magic and science…” he opened his eyes and stared off into the distance. “The land is rich and the city is tall. Shining gold, emerald green, shimmering blue…there is just so much colour under all of it…so many fantastic secrets of the land…” he gestured above them and glared at the clouds. “You have this…blue…these white puffy things. You do not see…you are blind…because Odin keeps it that way. Because the truth would frighten you…”

Clint looked over at him, “yeah…what is the truth?”

“The universe,” he breathed as if in awe at the thought. “The sky here is removed from the great wonders. Only at night may you seek some of her beauty. In Asgard, we see her all. The suns, the comets, the vast planes of stars that never end…whole galaxies and life just outside…you can stand along the very edge of her…look down…” his voice trailed off.

Barton felt a deep sadness from the god: a longing…a sense of loss…a deep wonder and even tiny flecks of hatred. The look in his troubled eyes told Clint the unspoken words and stories. He ran his hand over Loki’s leg and grabbed his hand. “She sounds wondrous.”

“She is…” he swallowed and looked down at their fingers. “I…” he hesitated and then shook his head, pushing his guilt aside and went to turn away.

“No,” Clint sat up and turned the sorcerer to look at him hoping this was it. “What? What were you going to say?”

Loki searched his face for a few moments before he pulled out of the archer’s grasp and stood. “I…I sense our time is running shorter than I had anticipated. If you are feeling well enough, we may begin the next phase?”

Clint really just wanted to scream. He didn’t though. Instead, he took a deep breath and let it go. Whatever was bothering the god would come out eventually. Loki couldn’t keep secrets from him forever, nor could he push the trickster into telling him anything he did not want him to know. He rose with a small defeated, “what do we do?”

Loki did not say a word. He went to the edge of the blanket and picked up the corners. Clint helped him fold it and then set it off to the side. Loki went to the centre of the cleared space and laid flat on his back, his legs and arms relaxed and a bit away from his body. Clint followed his example, making sure he kept a certain amount of space between them: not too close and not too far away.

“Close your eyes,” Loki instructed, his voice holding a quality to it that made all of the hairs on Barton’s body prickle. He shut his eyes and supressed a shiver. “Breath in…and out…in…out…have you ever meditated before?”

“Yes.”

“Good…keep this steady pattern…and ground yourself…put yourself into the earth…lose yourself…”

Clint inhaled and exhaled again, focusing his thoughts to let himself sink into the soil; melting into the cracks of the earth and being absorbed into the roots of the flowers. He could feel everything: the hard ground against his skin and clothes, the warmth of the sun on his face, the chill of the breeze across his body… He shifted so he had his left palm facing up toward the sky and his right to the earth; Loki had already arranged himself in the opposite. Clint swallowed and took another deep breath as he imagined himself fade into everything. One more breath and something inside of him clicked.

 _There we are…_ Loki’s sigh was soft with content and cool across his mind.

 _Is that you?_ He was amazed.

 _No,_ Loki’s voice dripped with sarcasm and Clint could almost feel the invisible roll of eyes.

He chuckled, _So this is what the next phase is like? It is not too bad…easier than I thought…Do we have to be in this state to communicate this way?_

_Not always…with time the transition will become fluid._

_So, this deals with matters not of the heart, but of mind?_

_And body._

_Body?_ In response Clint felt an invisible hand run up the inside of his leg and he jerked himself ‘awake’, drawing in a startled breath as he opened his eyes and felt himself fall back into himself. The force made his bones ache and the sky above his head spun rapidly. Next to him he heard Loki surface as well, but with more elegance and calm.

He took a moment and a few deep breaths before turning his head and found the god already looking at him. There was a faint playful smile set upon the tricksters lips and he looked down to their joined hands.

 _My little Hawk…_ Clint felt a chill sweep over him as the words floated into his thoughts and his eyes snapped to find sea-green orbs full of mirth. It couldn’t be…

Slowly Barton wet his lips, then narrowed his eyes, and thought: _W…can…can you hear me still?_ The god nodded and they both could not mask the shared grin that splayed across their features. _Now how do we break this connection?_

 _We do not break it,_ and this time the assassin was privileged to see Loki roll his eyes. _We shift back into our private minds._

“So that exercise was to, what, open my public mind?”

_Focus, please._

_Sorry…_ Clint looked down at their hands again. So this was it? They were really bound in a freaky deep soul kind of way.The gravity of their situation came spiralling down upon him. He sat up, not letting go of Loki, and scratched the back of his head, trying to hide his sudden discomfort. “How do we switch back?”

Loki shrugged and leisurely turned his attention to the clouds overhead. _I think of it as a door, opening and closing._

_This isn’t the first time you’ve done this have you?_

_No, a good majority of my magic is created and harnessed in this way._

“You use your soul for magic?”

_Magic resides in everything._

_Like the Force?_

_The what?_ Loki frowned at him.

_Never mind, I’ll have to introduce you to that once we’re awake. I’m jealous! You’re a Jedi and you never even knew._

_A what?_

“Or maybe a Sith.”

_Sith?_

_Regardless you roam the galaxy in crazy costumes with a glowy lightsaber and save or destroy things._

_Have you had your fill of mocking? Or are you content to continue to hold my ignorance of this realm against me?_ Loki chided as a gust of anger surged up Clint’s arm and swirled around him.

“Sorry,” he ducked his head and closed his eyes again, quickly bringing himself back to that peaceful place to put himself together again. Loki’s anger subsided slowly from around him and when he opened his eyes, he felt…disconnected? Maybe that was too strong of a word. He felt as if he had something important to remember, or that he had to do, but that he couldn’t think of what it was. A nagging feeling…a missing piece…

_Can you hear me?_

“No.”

_Loki?_

“Yes?”

Barton glared at him, removing his hand from their embrace, and demandingly raised his voice. “I thought you said if I ‘switched’ it would break the connection?”

“I did and you have done just that.” The god folded his hands over his abdomen with a grin.

“Then why did you answer my thoughts?”

“You are a rather predictable creature,” the trickster did not hide his open amusement.

Clint turned away annoyed and flicked a pebble away from the side of his shoe. He was not actually mad at Loki; in truth, he was rather pleased with the progress they had made. It was the things running through his mind, the itching unknown, the heavy realisation of what they were going to wake up to, those were bringing him down. What would the others think of this mess?

 _Natasha…_ he grimaced wrapping his arms around his legs and set his chin upon his knees. She was going to kill Loki, or him, or both of them! She was going to be the hardest one to win over, and even if she did let Loki hang around, he was sure their relationship was never going to change. Fights would have to be dealt with regularly.

 _Stark…_ he’d have something sarcastic and self-centred to say. Maybe a few lewd comments before he’d hit the bottle hard and kept himself submerged in alcohol for the rest of forever.

 _Banner…_ he’d Hulk out or not give a shit.

 _Thor…_ probably would congratulate and force him to consume vast quantities of liquor in celebration or smash his head in until there was no remote resemblance of where his face was once. Regardless, there would be yelling and manly aggression involved in some fashion.

 _Steve…_ he would say something supportive and keep all negative comments to himself. He would probably be the only one to make an effort to keep things normal between them.

Barton sighed, suddenly exhausted, as he realised the junk he’d have to wake up too. No one would leave him alone. He could see it now and tucked his face away in the corner of his arm to keep his thoughts from following the inevitable. He felt horrible and selfish for trying to run away and ignore everyone else’s problems but his own. He had known life would end up like this. That is why he had wished for this right?

“Oh, please do not be this way,” Loki was behind him in a second, wrapping him close, causing the archer’s skin to prickle and his hair stand on end. “My little Hawk…” the god whispered in his ear trying to coax himself back into his good favours.

“I’m not angry at you,” he confessed in a mutter, suddenly feeling incredibly small and stupid. What was he eight again?

“Enlighten me,” Loki whispered and rested his head on Clint’s shoulder, holding back the relief he felt for having not upset him.

“Just…are you happy with this?”

“What do you mean?”

“Are you alright with being connected to someone? I know I’ve asked you before, but what about now?”

Loki was silent for a time before he answered, honestly and openly. “I must confess…I…I am scared.” Clint looked at him out of the corner of his eye. “I…I had always hoped to one day find someone I could take the eternal oaths with, but I never dared dream it would happen. Especially after learning of my true past, let alone to a mortal and one whom hated me for taking away his free-will…and using his body as a…pleasure device for several weeks,” he looked at the archer with a deeply ashamed expression. “I will forever regret my actions. Tesseract control or not, I must live with the destruction I have caused you and this war-riddled silly little world.”

“Hey,” he nudged Loki gently and chuckled. “That’s my war-riddled silly little world you’re talking about.”

“Apologises,” he laughed a little and held Clint closer to bury his face in the assassin’s warm shoulder. They shared a sigh of content and were quiet for a while, each absorbed in their own thoughts before Barton broke their silence.

“What will I do when I wake up?”

“I assume you shall carry on just as you always have.” The god turned his face to the side and looked at Clint; that odd feeling of warmth welled up in the god’s chest again, making his mind tingle with joy, and his stomach churn with worried guilt.

“No,” he sighed frustrated with himself and rubbed his faced with his right hand so as not to disturb Loki on his left shoulder. “I mean, how am I - we! How are _we_ going to face the others and what are they going to say about this?” he gestured between the two of them and then tucked his hands in the crook of his knees.

The trickster considered it for a moment. “Well…first you may wish to remind them that I cannot physically harm anyone unless they are causing you or myself harm. That should brighten at least one person’s day.” Clint shook his head and snorted ruefully as Natasha came to mind. Worry flooded his mind instantly. _Natasha_ …

“Put these thoughts aside,” Loki sat up a bit and gently squeezed the archer’s shoulders in support and comfort. “Your friends,” he swallowed the word with some difficulty and pressed on, “they seem understanding and loyal. They will not abandon you.”

Barton nodded and then gave himself one more minute of self-pity before pushing everything in his mind aside and stood. Stretching out his body, he turned to look down at the god. “So…what’s next?”

The sorcerer smiled and held out his hand, which Clint took without a moment’s hesitation.

 

 

   -------------------------------------------------

As the water loomed closer, Steve felt his stomach launch into this throat. _No!_ His brain cried out. _Not again. Not another seventy years! Peggy!_

Tony turned and pulled the stunned hyperventilating soldier into a tight embrace. “Don’t look,” he whispered into his hair. Steve let out the rest of his breath and clung to the metal suit awkwardly. “Just breathe,” Stark reminded him closing his own eyes tightly and inhaled quickly as the jet hit the surface and went under.

Thor slid towards the back of the cabin while Tony braced himself against the wall with the captain securely in his arms. The inside temperature lowered quickly and Romanoff flipped a few controls causing the ship to descended several fathoms before drifting steadily forward.

“Everyone alright?” She asked turning around in her chair once their designated coordinates were set.

“Yes, Lady Natasha,” Thor said dusting himself off as he went to check on his brother.

Tony looked down at Steve, “you good?” The soldier nodded slowly and licked his dry lips, swallowing his fear. “Yeah, we’re good,” Stark called out.

“Alright, we’ll be under the water for a while; Banner has an air piece attached to the rope as well as a harness. He’ll be fine for several hundred yards, just enough to get us out of their radar system.”

“It’s not a very big one,” Tony muttered unimpressed as he helped Steve sit down on the seats next Clint’s still form.

“Well it just happens to be great for us, because we’re going to be making loops and turns to throw them off the trail.”

“And what are we to do when they reach the end and do not find any sign of us?” Thor asked not looking up from his brother’s face.

“By then we should already be safe in Stark’s house and these…two,” she took a moment to push down the sickened feeling in her stomach and continued; “They will be healthy again.”

  -------------------------------------------------

Barton shivered as the temperature dropped several degrees. He opened his eyes and found Loki sleeping peacefully next to him. He could not remember how they had come to be, but the idea of sleeping within another’s mind, while being technically asleep, made him slightly uncomfortable and his brain ache.  He sat up to stretch and breathed out a gust of chilled air. The butterflies had disappeared from sight and the poppies had a thin sheen of frost covering and distorting the colour of their vibrant petals; the sky was muddy with heavy grey storm clouds and the wind was starting to pick up.

It struck him then: they had decided to watch the clouds while conversing within their minds for him to practice. They could not have been lying there for long. When had they fallen asleep? How long had they been snoozing? Did time matter here? What was it that Loki had said?

He scrubbed his face tiredly. There were way too many questions buzzing around in his head for him to concentrate. The primary being, what was Loki keeping from him? Clint could not put his finger on it, but there always seemed to be a small spot just drifting off to the side of them. Something Loki kept pushing behind him, out of Clint’s ‘sight’. Something that called to him, seemed almost apologetic for existing, and even angry…what the hell was it!?

He yawned and turned to soak in Loki’s features; the soft curve of the god’s lips, the way his face and body relaxed completely; he was totally vulnerable and Barton was totally enjoying the sight as he slowly froze to death. How often had anyone seen him this way?

Now that he thought about it, he had never actually seen Loki sleep while they were under the Tesseract’s control. Anywhere they had set up as a base he had been instructed to make a bed, but up until they had started using it together, Loki had never stepped, sat, laid, jumped, or glanced at it.

Now that he thought about it…Loki had actually never directly instructed him to arrange sleeping quarters for himself…

Loki shifted slightly and sighed; a strand of hair fell in front of his face and fluttered with each even breath he took. Clint reached forward and gently brushed it aside, letting his fingers trace down the side of the god’s smooth cheek and across the seam of his lips. The sorcerer barely moved in response and Barton decided he would worry about his secrets later. The things he should be worried about were where was their relationship heading and how they were going to break the news to everyone else?

However, he did not want to focus on that now. He just let himself sit there a few more moments until he could no longer stand the temperature, and rose to snag the blanket up off the ground. He settled back down next to the god and tossed half of it over him. The instant it landed upon him, Loki snapped into action, swinging around panicked as if the shadows of his dreams were still before his eyes. His arms were up ready to strike the foe tormenting him; primal raw fear radiating off him; and his breathing ragged as if he’d been running for hours.

“No, no, it’s fine. There is nothing wrong,” Clint grabbed his wrists and held him still. Loki’s eyes locked on his and instantly cleared. He took a deep breath and let it out; still shaking slightly he managed to relax some.

Barton took his hands and squeezed them reassuringly, “It just became too cold. I’m sorry; I did not mean to wake you.”

“No, you are fine…” he rubbed his face and stretched a bit exhausted.

“What is going on?” Clint asked pulling the blanket up to his chin as his skin prickled painfully from the cold.

“Wherever our bodies our, it must be cold. As insignificant as the impact is, the outside world still holds some sway as to what happens here.”

“You can’t make it warmer?” he shivered all over and tried to clamp his mouth tightly to stop his teeth from chattering as he lay facing away from him.

“This is but a tiny part of my mind; I do not hold supreme authority over it.” Loki stretched again and pulled the blanket off him to tuck around the archer before lying down next to him and holding him close.

“Thank you,” Clint whispered.

Loki shrugged easily, closing his eyes, and rested his head against Clint’s shoulder blades, “someone will notice soon and rectify the situation.”

Clint’s ears and top of his head were still chilled, but he could tough those little things out. The blanket warmed up around him and he realised, against the wind, Loki must have been using whatever little bit of magic he had to keep him toasty. He snuggled back into the god a bit and sighed with relief and appreciation.

The wind became fierce, battering them from all angles. Angry gusts, threatening to blow them away, slammed against their bodies. Clint worried for Loki; how could he stand it? Jötunn or not, he still had to be uncomfortable. He was just about to open his mouth and say such when a dark shadow loomed overhead. Barton looked to find long branches, of a deep black walnut colour, twisted with age and bare of any foliage spread over them.

He rolled over to look at the god, “did you do this?”

Loki nodded and held him tighter as giant roots grew up around to shelter them. “This will keep the worst of the wind out…” he muttered before his breathing evened and Clint knew he was fast asleep.

He studied the immortal for a moment before poking his hand out from the blanket to gently touch him, moving it around Loki’s chest until he found his fluttering heartbeat. It was a fluid fast-paced rhythm, very out of sync and odd compared to his even heavy breathing. Clint smirked and shook his head in curious wonder. They were so different… _he_ was so different…

The hard, crazy, vengeful killer was just a façade he wore; Barton had known it for a long time. He knew the god could never truly be heartless, and that with every death he caused, he carried that guilt like a boulder on his back. Clint had noticed it just after his mind had been taken.

Being under the Tesseract’s control had been strange. When it touched him, the coolness of the sceptre had spread throughout his veins, numbing him to the core. The air had tasted foul, and his vision had become glassy, causing everything to shine with a vibrant rainbow hue. Voices that were close seemed so distant, and the only thing he could clearly hear was his heart beating sluggishly in his chest and a strange melodic humming.

It had taken a while, but he learned to tune them out. The humming had come from the sceptre, which had been soft and sweet when he behaved, yet angry and violent when he disobeyed. He also found that he could read the others minds. They were all connected by threads, fragile though they looked, they were steady and true. Clint worked tirelessly to expand his reach, to peek into the other captive’s minds and take charge. The more they looked up to him and revered him as a superior, the stronger his hold over his own mind held and the Tesseract’s weakened. That was until he had tried prying into Loki’s thoughts.

He shuttered pulling his hand inside as he remembered that. It had been a week before the trip to Germany. He was instructing a few of the Ukrainian assassins they had acquired to set up a perimeter around their new base. He had just handed off the map and a radio set when he felt it, the strange pulse within his chest. Clint hated when his body did that. He felt sick to his stomach and his bones hurt. As far as he had known, no one else was affected by it the way he was. Whenever it happened, he would find a safe place to sit until the nausea passed and the pressure in his chest subsided. Clint had started to stagger back toward the small platform he had deemed his bunk when he saw him.

Loki was sitting cross-legged on the floor, hunched over, struggling for air, and clinching his chest. His brow was beaded with sweat, his eyes squeezed shut and his teeth barred as he tried to overcome whatever was causing him pain. Clint had taken a few steps toward him, just enough to see the swirling blue link of energy around the god’s body, just enough to force his link to touch gently to it.

The shock rocked them both. Loki snarled like some wild beast, slamming him against the wall.

_“And what, may I ask, do you think you are doing?”_

_“I was trying to figure out why you were in pain, sir.”_

_“You were meddling into my affairs!” He slammed Barton against the wall again. “Did I ask for your assistance?”_

_“No, sir.”_

Something had happened then. The god’s mood shifted, he relaxed his face and touched the archer with his free hand. The look Loki had given Clint made heat sweep along his body and he knew he would do whatever it was the sorcerer asked of him, Tesseract’s control or not.

Barton had found himself pinned up against a new wall, and then thrown onto the makeshift bed in the god’s private quarters. The coupling was rough and hurried, but satisfying. He let himself become a toy: a device for the trickster to abuse and pour himself into with no regard. For a while, he was even tied to the bed, listening to the sounds of busy workers through the cracked door, as Loki leaned against its frame, half nude and smiling wickedly to himself; his eyes upon his prized cube and his magic working his reward into a climax.

That was when he had started to call him, _“My little Hawk…”_ and the thrill the Tesseract’s hold sent up Clint’s spine made him beg the god to say it over and over again. Even now those thoughts of that dark time, hidden behind the closed door of the abandoned dirty building, rolling upon the cold opened sleeping bags as they road each other into bliss, made Barton shiver.

“What are you thinking of…my little Hawk?” Loki whispered in his ear, causing him to jump.

“I didn’t mean to wake you,” he cleared his throat and sat up shifting away, suddenly embarrassed with their closeness and the train of his thoughts.

The god eyed him for a moment and then frowned knowingly. “I remember that…”

“Yeah?” Clint’s voice cracked and he rolled to face the other way, flustered as heat spread across his body.

“I…I know you do not wish me to say it…but I am deeply sorry…” he reached his hand out and set it upon the archer’s back.

“For all the times you have said that, I think I have to forgive you now.” He muttered more to himself that to the god.

“Truly?” Loki whispered leaning close to his ear and brushing his lips into his hair.

Barton shivered, this time not from the cold or from a memory. He turned and let their lips tentatively meet for a second, before pulling slowly away and letting them touch again. Loki curled his fingers in Clint’s soft hair and guided his head back to deepen the kiss. It was slow, agonisingly slow for Clint, but he was frozen to the core again and only desired for Loki to tell him what to do.

He opened himself up and was elated to find the god’s connection already waiting for him. Barton wiggled to get his arms free from the twisted blanket and pulled Loki closer, their minds melting together. Images, sounds, and smells shifted between their link easily and it pleased Clint to see their hard work had been fruitful. He moaned softly and nuzzled Loki’s jaw.

The god shivered and moved back a bit, worrying his bottom lip, “I wish to inform you that you are not required to prove anything. If you are truly unhappy with the idea of being bound to me, you are not forced to display such affections for my sake.”

“How many times do we have to go over this?”

“I merely ask you to be honest with me,”

“If we have to be honest?” he mused. “I’m not doing this just because I feel it will make whatever suffering we’re going to go through less. I want to kiss you because it feels _right_ ,” he ran his fingers through the god’s hair.

“No matter whatever the outcome of our situation turns out to be?” Loki pressed in a worried and serious tone.

Clint was taken aback by it for a second. This hadn’t been the first time he’d been asked this…it must have been the thing worrying Loki. Well if it was _that_ simple…he mentally shook his head and decided later would be a better time to address the trickster’s self-esteem issues.

“No matter what,” Barton leaned forward and brushed their lips together in promise. “Even if we wake and find that such a link doesn’t exist, I still hope to have…something…”

“Is ‘something’ another thought you deem ‘cheesy’?” Loki inquired with a curious smile.

“Yeah,” Barton muttered smoothing his hands down the god’s sides.

He hummed, closing his eyes, and stretched a bit as he rolled to lie a little on top of him. “Do you wish to know a secret?”

“Hm?”

“I hope to have the same,” he whispered against Clint’s lips.

The archer smiled and pecked the tip of his nose, before claiming his lips again.

The dark feeling returned. The guilt, the worry, the doubt, and the anger – it rushed toward Clint, and he was ready for it this time, but before he had a chance to accept and figure it out, Loki pushed him away with a shout.

The assassin sat up with his hands in a neutral gesture, “Okay, okay, too fast? I’m sorry.”

“No!” He buried his head into his arms and turned away. “I apologise – just – don’t! Please!”

“Loki…” Clint reached out for him and sighed setting it down when he saw the god flinch slightly. He put his hands in his lap and gave Loki a few minutes to calm down before he tried reaching for him again. “Loki…we promised we wouldn’t keep things that bothered us from each other.  If we start this again, what hope do we have when we face the others?” He moved closer and rested his head on the god’s shoulder. “You sat and suffered through my freak out, it is only fair I do the same.”

 _Fair?_ What did _he_ know about fair? What bases of comparison could Loki hold against it? Had the universe ever been _fair_ to him? No, of course not, he had ever given it cause to turn against him. He could not properly recall a time when he had been punished for something fairly. He could not even recall a time when he had won or was judged in a fair manner.

Thor. That was the basic and highest level of perfection. With Thor, there had never been a place to squeeze into the world, accept for in the wake of his looming shadow. The coldness of second best, never being invited places or wanted around, the nauseous jealousy that filled him when the Gold Child of Asgard was rewarded with gifts and affection for doing anything, yet he was scolded and sent to his room without supper for even trying a new spell. The alienation of being just out of reach from everyone, as if he was trapped behind a glass wall, or a cage. A cage to keep the world far away and safe from him. It made him burn with hatred.

To be fair, was to be Thor, and to Loki, that was suffocating.

The sickening cloud of swirling emotions around Loki was starting to physically hurt Clint. He decided it was time to change the god’s thought process. But what could he say?

“Tell me about your pranks.”

“They are nothing special,” he snipped back.

Clint tutted and put his arms around the frozen sorcerer. “No one is given the name ‘god of mischief’ and ‘master trickster’ for pranks that ‘are not special’.”

“I lit the curtains on fire once.” The panicked innocence his voice held made Clint laugh. Loki turned his head to scowl at him. “Fire is not a joking matter!”

“No, but only you would think it was at one point.”

“It was a spell that went all wrong!” Loki defended himself aghast and buried his head in his arms again.

“Alright, so tell me about it.”

Loki hesitated for a moment and then lifted his head a bit. “It was winter,” he licked his lips, “they had hung the curtains to keep the chill of the snow form the main halls. It hardly ever snows in Asgard. Maybe every few hundred years…” he sighed and put his head in his hands. “I was upset at Thor. He had gone off on a hunting trip and Odin would not let me. He said I was too young – I was almost six-hundred! – He would not even let me go out into the garden! I only wanted to see what it looked like falling. I wanted to feel it, taste it – everyone said it was cold and I did not…” he bit his lip and rubbed at his hairline, sighing still disappointed in himself, “I was trying to use a levitation spell…the curtains were heavy. I jumbled up the words.”

“That happens to everyone.” Clint shrugged supportive.

Loki became very still and his gaze unfocused as the memory came back to him anew, “Father was so mad. He yelled at me for hours, beat my hide raw, and made me sit on the hearth for punishment. Mama did not have a say in my reproof. When finally I was allowed to leave for the night, she snuck in with a sweet roll and held me as I cried in her lap near an opened window,” he sniffed and blinked away tears. “It was my first snow…I could do nothing but apologise for hours and make promises I would never leave my rooms again. I remember I kept telling her I was a bad person, and she kept gently shushing me. She said everyone makes mistakes and that father had only punished me so severely because I could have really hurt someone…and he had been scared for my safety…” he fell silent.

The haunting tone of his voice made Clint realise his problems were rooted deeper than what he had originally anticipated. He knew Loki was damaged and angry, but this stemmed from something stronger than sibling rivalry and discovering his true parentage. Barton held him a little tighter to show he was still there for the god. “No offense, but your dad is an ass.”

Loki spun around angrily to face him and then stopped, a weak unused smile flitting across his face before it vanished, “yes…I suppose so…”

“I know so.” He wiped a tear away and kissed the side of his face to reaffirm his statement. Loki grabbed his shirt collar when he made to move back, and pulled him forward into a slow gentle kiss. It turned into another and another; each time becoming faster until Loki pushed away and rose with another, “No!”

“Okay,” Clint held up his hand. “Too fast again, I got it.”

“No, I can’t do this to you any longer.” He ran his fingers through his hair as he paced back and forth. “You asked me what was wrong. I know you can feel it! It is constantly hovering over my conscious! If we are to be honest I have to tell you the truth.” He took a deep breath and shook out his hands nervously as he stopped to look at the assassin. “I brought you here.”

Clint frowned. “I know…you told me that already…?”

“No!” he began pacing again. “I mean _I_ did this to you.”

“Loki, you’re not –”

“I did not want you to find out about Fury torturing me because I lied to you.”

“About?”

“I know what type of bond this is; I know that letting each other connect is not going to change it or deepen it, but strengthen our control over it.” He bit at his lower lip and continued to ramble, the sincerity of his anxiety growing with each revelation. “I know there is no way to break this bond. I have been troubled over it from the start. I did not know how you would react to discovering such news. How could I demand or expect you to accept what has happened to us after all of the monstrous atrocities I have committed to countless innocents? How could I request you to find a place for me in your life? Not after what I had done to you, but you kept calling to me.

“I knew that if you had any hint about the torture, you would feel it as well. Therefore, I kept our visits brief and distant as much as I could. I did not anticipate they would find the loophole to their drug, so when you found out and came into the room I was terrified. What if they had decided to kill me? You would have been left alone. Bonds like these are secure, rooted and hurt. The shock would have killed you as well!”

“But I don’t –”

Loki held up his hand, “let me finish or else I won’t be able too. I know my side of the connection had been wedged opened; I needed you to do the same. I tempted you to send me a hint, just a small line, something I could grip and yank upon when the time came. Once I had a hold, I waited until they injected me again and I pulled it. I sent the pain of the drug coursing down it and into you. With both of us debilitated and unable to speak, they could not do anything but keep you stable and me out of harm.

“I heard your thoughts when you were sitting by me. I felt the fear you had about the others and the hatred at me for what I had done. I know, I thought,” he stopped moving to take a breath, “I hoped that if I tricked everyone into believing you were not alright…if I was not…that it would give us time…the time _you_ wanted…the time _we_ needed…”

“So I’m what? Asleep?”

Loki nodded his head, his shoulders slumping slightly as he let guilt consume him.

 “Okay,” Clint nodded. “That’s fine.” The sorcerer did not move, which meant there was more he was not willing to say. It dawned on Clint then, “I’m fine…but you’re not?”

“This isn’t about me. Thi –”

“No, it is. Are you or are you not still alright in the world of the living?”

“I am managing,” he crossed his arms defensively.

“But not okay.”

“I am still alive.”

“Yeah for how long?” Loki did not respond. “How long?” Clint got up and marched toward him. “How long Loki? How much longer do you have before your life is in danger?”

“Perhaps a day or two…” he slowly gave in.

Clint looked around baffled and gestured to the area around, “this all isn’t helping, this is only making things worse, isn’t it?”

“I did not wish for you to suffer those dreams again,” he begged trying to get the archer to see his reasoning.

“I lived them!” he shouted furiously. “I suffer them every day! Stop this. Stop this now!”

“No.”

“Loki!”

“No Clinton. Do not ask me again,” he turned away.

 “You are _dying_! A few nightmares are nothing.”

“Death happens,” Loki shrugged in differently.

“No,” he pushed him in disbelief. “Stop thinking so low of yourself. Stop being ashamed and giving up!” Loki did not resist his physical assaults, which only infuriated the archer more. “So you’re just going to, what? Leave me?”

“You are strong enough,” he looked at Clint with resignation. “You have heart.”

“Oh fuck you!” He stormed away from him livid. “You don’t know my ‘strength’. Strength isn’t in muscle power or, or how well you cover your personal shit up. It is about not giving up and admitting your failings have beaten you. It is seeing you are broken but choosing to keep getting up. Walking it off. It’s hard, it sucks, it’s terrifying, and I hate it!”

“See,” Loki’s smile was sadly proud. “I told you.”

“Fuck you!” He said rushing over and tackled him to the ground. Clint began shaking Loki with his fury, “You don’t understand!” He shouted, “I lost my parents! I was raped and abused all of my life! I never had consensual sex until I was 35 – I have _never_ been allowed to be my own person! I watched my brother give up and die!” He leaned forward and pressed his lips to Loki’s, who kept his mouth tightly shut and tried to move away. Clint pushed the god’s hands away so that he could grip the sides of his face to keep it still. He pulled back slightly and emphasised each word while staring into the bewildered god’s eyes. “You’re not giving up. I won’t let you. You don’t have to do this alone any longer,” he pressed his lips to Loki’s again.

The god let out a small sob and struggled now to grab at Clint, pulling him closer. His lips found every part of the archer’s face to kiss and mouth apologises over. He felt Clint slide his hands down his body and Loki opened his legs to let the assassin sink tightly against him. Clint bit at his throat and sucked until bruises formed. Truth be told, Loki had always hated such marks, finding them tacky and displeasing to obtain, but the thought of wearing them in real life, the gift of being claimed and tasted and branded as this mortal’s? It made his skin tingle and a moan rip all of the air from his lungs.

Barton cradled his face with his hands, “promise me you’ll stop hurting and doubting yourself. Promise me you’ll fight this battle with me.”

“I promise.”

“Mean it,” he demanded roughly.

Loki leaned his head forward and stared at the archer. He was a master of words, and he poured his soul into each one as he carefully stated, “I, Loki Laufeyson, adopted child of Asgard and Master of Chaos, swear that I will strive to better myself and stay with you until this battle is over.”

“And into peace?”

“And into peace.”

Clint kissed him again and breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank you,” he buried his face into Loki’s shoulder.

The god just held him tighter as a strange sensation swept through him, making him feel numb yet lighter than air. He pressed his lips to Clint’s forehead and smiled.

 

 

 


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, I let my days slip away from me. I was hoping to post this on Friday, but then I found myself avoiding the internet, because I forgot it was season finale week! So behind with everything *covers face miserably*.
> 
> All mistakes are my own. I do not own the characters.  
> You all are the best! Thank you and please enjoy!

\----------------------9----------------------

“We made it,” Steve breathed with an easy smile and took up the seat next to Natasha as they burst through the water and drifted along the rocky ocean surface. The craft gave a shutter before the inflatable safety raft puffed out on all sides, lifting them up from the water a bit. Tasha flipped a switch to open the back hatch, which brought a gust of salty air and spray into the cabin.

“Bruce do you need help getting up?” Natasha called out over her shoulder.

“Nope! I’m almost there; just keep the back opened a little bit longer please!” his faint reply came.

“That wasn’t so bad,” Tony shrugged and set the compressed pieces of his suit into a side compartment before rolling back his sleeve to check his watch. “Almost on time, just a few minutes early, but it’s fine. It just means we’ll be at my place by the time they realise I left the second lab burners running too.”

“Will they come looking for us, Lord Stark?” Thor asked setting a blanket over his brother’s form.

“Eventually, but it gives us time to put both of them back together and assess the situation without outside intervention.”

“Okay,” Bruce’s voice called from the back of the jet. “Help. Now! PLEASE!” He was struggling to maintain his grip on the ramp while he clung to the cable for dear life. Thor quickly went to the edge, grasped his safety line and pulled the doctor inside as the hatch shook and began closing. Banner gratefully took the blanket and pile of clothes Tony offered him and dressed quickly.

“Well,” he said tucking his shirt in before rubbing out his hair and adjusting his glasses. “I wouldn’t recommend that ride to anyone.”

“Sorry,” Natasha muttered to herself turning a few switches and raised her voice, “everyone better buckle themselves in or down. We’re heading out in seven, six, five,” Steve strapped himself into the co-pilot chair while the other three scrambled to secure themselves in before she gunned the engines.

The jet took off; puncturing the biodegradable raft and pushing it back into the sea. Stark and Steve squeezed their eyes shut and concentrated on breathing, while Bruce checked on Clint and Thor put a protective arm over his brother’s form.

“How far until we arrive, Lady Natasha?” The thunder god called over the noise of the craft.

“We’ll be to the tower in less than two hours,” she called over her shoulder. “Shouldn’t be too much longer.”

“And then what?” Steve asked daring a look in her direction. “We can’t just fly this thing into the city. Not after the attack.”

“No,” she agreed and then laughed at the sight of him mildly flustered and death gripping the armrests. “We can’t.”

\-------------------------------------------------

There was a knock at his door. “Enter,” he called not bothering to look up from the stack of papers he was currently going through.

“Director Fury?” It was Maria Hill.

“Yes?” he kept his focus divided between his work and her.

“We have just received word that the council has requested an update regarding the prisoner and the events that occurred today on the carrier.”

“Of course they do,” he replied in a sassy tone, more for his own benefit to keep himself calm than for her entertainment or business.

“How would you wish to proceed sir?”

“As usual.”

Maria paused for a split second and then frowned confused, “Sir?”

“Hill?”

“Yes, sir.”

“If you were the council, and you found out that a high priority prisoner was loose, what would be your reaction?”

“Alert and order a team for search and capture,”

“Right. Now let’s say you’re me, and you have to explain to the people, who hold your balls in an iron grip, that the super villain, who was already in your custody once but escaped to destroy a major city, had been busted free by the motherfuckers you worked so hard to keep alive against your superior’s orders?”

Maria’s blood ran cold. No…it…she licked her lips and treaded her next question carefully in as low of a tone as possible. “Sir…are you trying to tell me that… _the Avengers_ broke Loki out?”

Fury dropped his pen and looked at her. She flinched under the intensity of his stare, but knew he was also being uncomfortably and uncharacteristically kind and patient; which meant things were a lot worse than what they seemed.

He set the report aside and leaned back in his chair. “Did you review the tapes gathered?”

“Yes, sir.”

“And, nothing looked funny to you?”

Hill thought about this for a moment. The surveillance tapes had been distorted from the blast, and several key seconds and sections of them were missing due to the hack in the system; but from studying them several times it seemed that the only person involved with Loki’s escape had been his brother, Thor.

“Think Hill, I know you have a brain. I know you’ve been taught to play dumb and follow orders, but I need you to use it now. Focus on the missing pieces…”

Missing? _Oh, Clint!_ The footage showed Loki’s rescue, yet there was never a moment that showed how Clint mysteriously vanished. And no one had seen any of the superhero members since the huge melt down in the primary lab.

Fury saw the spark in her eyes and knew she had gotten it. He was more than grateful to have found Maria Hill when he did. Saving her from living a meaningless life of monotonous empty duties as a regular peon was something he could probably claim as one of the ten greatest achievements to his career. Her brains, wit, loyalty, imagination, and drive made her perfect…and that made him almost proud…almost.

“We do not tell the council Loki is missing.”

“Right. Now why?”

“Because it would cause unnecessary panic. The council may be made up of the elite, but the amount of their intelligence is based mainly on the worth of their bank accounts. They are prone to rash actions and their general interest is in saving themselves.”

“Bingo,” he rose and adjusted his coat as he made his way around the desk. He set his hand upon her shoulder and leaned in closely, indicating that what he said next was to strictly stay between them. “I want you to destroy the rest of the evidence; have a secure team clean up the room that Clint was in as well as erase his recent medical files. Put a loop on the surveillance footage in Loki’s cell and deny access to anyone other than myself and you.”

“Yes, sir,” she nodded and turned to leave.

“And send him a phone call,” he added going back to his desk to grab a hefty file.

“Him?”

“ _Him_ ,”

Hill realised who he meant and nodded again. She was almost to the door when a thought struck her. She faced the director, “Permission to speak and inquire freely, sir?”

“Sure, why not?” he flipped through the contents of the file slowly.

“You knew they were going to do this, didn’t you?”

“Yep, sure did.”

“And you knew you were never going to get any real information out of Loki, regardless if the formula worked on him or not. You were mainly using it to subdue his powers?”

“Yep,”

“Then…why?”

Nick laughed and looked at her. “When people are yanking your balls around Hill, you’ll want to fuck with them too.”

“Sir?” she was shocked and confused by his blatant disregard for SHIELD conduct.

“I kept Loki as a bargaining chip to prevent a war with Asgard, and hoped to get some information about the invading army out of him while we had him around. When that didn’t work, I ordered for him to be put on higher form of A-Bd- 2019 to see if it would help speed his cooperation up.”

“But he was unresponsive to it?”

“Unless you woke him up in an uncomfortable way,”

She set her lips in a hard line. “Torture?”

“I started it to scare him. I never meant it to go that far,” he admitted honestly.

“Burning hot coils set on bare skin isn’t too far?” she challenged.

“Not when you use the standard forms of hard interrogation and he laughs saying ‘it tickles’,” he took a step toward her and grew serious. “I understand how it looks from an outsider’s point of view, but I saw his skin heal before my eyes. I heard his bones reset themselves as he chuckled and spat at my face. He isn’t human, remember that.”

“So he doesn’t deserve the same rights?”

As impressed as he was by her bravery he was starting to grow irritated. “When people are yanking your balls around, you’ll fuck with them too,” he repeated, his voice going dark in warning that she was stepping around dangerous territory.

Maria got the cue right away and backed off, “I apologise, sir.”

Nick Fury softened his voice a tad, “get rid of the evidence first and then make that call. I’m going to deal with the council and check up on the mystery bus gang. Meet me back here when you’re finished.”

“Yes, sir,” she nodded her head and waited until he had left before she went to complete her appointed tasks. Sometimes she wished she could hop back in time and slap herself for ever thinking S.H.I.E.L.D. was a better and safer moral option than being a grade school teacher.

\-------------------------------------------------

Their “landing” was not as smooth or elegant as they had planned it to be, nor was it what they had hoped for. They had crashed onto a tiny farm just outside of Newburgh, New York; the jet smoked and sparked as it hung precariously in the top half of the barn. They had clamoured out, careful not to disturb Loki and Clint as well as not to upset the lopsided balance of the craft against the loft and support beams. Steve left a check for the damage (plus a little extra because the spring season had been so bad) pinned to the door and Tony had contacted JARVIS to call Pepper and send someone to pick them up.

“Well…it’s not an empty field…but we’re alive…” Banner shrugged and cleaned his glasses as he looked back at the mess.

“At least this time it wasn’t your fault,” Tony laughed and clapped him on the back. Bruce looked down at his hands and sighed keeping his mouth shut so his friend could enjoy his small moment of victory…for now.

“How long until Miss Potts is due to arrive?” Rogers asked pulling the last supply bag toward their party and looked sadly around at a vast plain of half bolting onions.

“Happy’s on his way with the Helicopter; maybe twenty-five more minutes…” Stark guestimated and then checked the math in his head for fun. “Twenty-three.”

“Good,” Natasha sighed as she finished checking that everyone and all of their things had made it safely away from the crash.

“Shall we relocate to a slightly different and less open place?” Bruce suggested nervously. They nodded in reply and began gathering their stuff, heading toward the edge of farm, where a clump of trees stood tall and thick along the poorly paved road.

As they set the last of their things down they heard a great cracking noise followed by a metallic thud and the sound of flames whooshing into the air. Steve froze from his spot near the edge of the road, fearful to turn back and confirm the worst. Instead, he sighed heavily, pulling out the check book he had stolen from S.H.I.E.L.D., and wrote a new one. He walked to the mail box a little ways down the road to deliver it, in what he hoped would be the next safest way.

Banner sighed muttering under his breath as he ran another blood test on Loki and Clint; “Now I’m really glad that wasn’t me this time…”

“Lord Banner,” Thor began as he handed him the foreign and confusing instruments he had requested.

“Please Thor, just Bruce,”

He nodded and began again, “Just Bruce.” Banner resisted face palming and let the god continue, “Why do you require such a great amount of blood from them?”

“I’m monitoring the levels of the chemical in their bodies and comparing it to the level of red and white blood cells. It lets me guess how long before they wake up and if I need to add or reduce any medicines.” He yawned and rubbed his face exhausted.

“When we reach Lord Stark’s castle, I can look over them while you rest,” Thor offered and made the gamma-radiation specialist laugh.

“Once I’m fully satisfied that they are settled, I will take you up on that offer,” he promised.

It wasn’t long before Tony ran around their group with a cheer as the sound of a chopper drifted over head, signalling for everyone to gather their equipment. The air swirled around them and they all exchanged grateful smiles or nods, knowing they were almost safe, and would soon have Barton back.

\-------------------------------------------------

Clint noticed something change not long after they had had their little heart to heart. It was small at first. Just a little weight within his chest, nothing big, but as time wore on he noticed other things. The place Loki had brought him too did not seem as sharp or real any more. He could not smell the poppies and their petals seemed like ash beneath his fingers. The butterflies had just recently begun to blur, like an image he could not focus no matter how much he squinted or tried.

“Is this your subtle way of easing me out of this and into the dream world?” he asked after he had explained the changes to Loki. The god laid there pensive for a time, looking up at the sky as another breeze ruffled past them. This time Clint could barely feel it.

“You know I have my reservations of letting you go…” he trailed off, his bright ocean eyes studying the clouds.

“And you know my feelings on if you keep me here,” he ruffled the hair on top of his own head thinking as he reclined onto his back.

Loki was quiet for a while, not even trying to cover up the sorrowful emotions that swam within his chest at the disappointing thought of being alone. “You will be waking up soon,” he confirmed in a hushed tone.

Barton was silent and looked at the god. Waking up? Soon? That meant he would have to deal with reality. The thought suddenly annoyed him. He used to depend on reality, sought comfort and guidance through it. Now he hated it. It was too complex of a structure, ridge and unyielding. It did not enhance his perception of the world, but limited it. Without it, he could imagine a trillion different possibilities to one scenario. With it, he could only fathom a mere handful.

But this was what he had wanted. This was what he needed to do.

“As much as I pressed for this to happen…honestly, I don’t want to leave…” he confessed softly.

Loki met his gaze and a warm grin spread over his lips. Clint felt his chest tighten and a sweep of pride settled over him. In the time they spent together working things out, he had found that this smile was one the god used on rare occasions. It was special, a secret, something only he could pull forth form those soft lips.

The immortal lifted his fingers and brushed them down the side of Clint’s face. “You won’t be very far, my little Hawk.”

Barton captured his hand and pressed his lips to his knuckles, holding back his disappointment when he found he could not feel his touch fully.

\-------------------------------------------------

Bruce expertly changed the empty medical bag for a full one; connecting the new IV into Clint’s arm before checking his temperature and pulse. After a couple days in the newly remodelled “Stark Enterprises” building, the archer seemed to be improving. He was responding well to being waned off of such a high level of the analgesic drugs, and Banner could now accept and confidently guess that he would wake within the next day or two.

“How goes things?” He turned and found Natasha standing in the door frame, hands on her shoulders, holding them tightly as if she were preventing herself from shattering into pieces.

He respected and admired her bravery; her outstanding courage to carry on even when things looked bleak or impossible. It concerned him as well, but that was no business of his to try and help fix her problems against her wishes. He did not even want to bring such thoughts to her attention. He rather liked living; even as horrible as it could be from time to time it still had promises of redemption and adventure.

Bruce offered a reassuring smile, “they are doing much better…I expect him to be waking up in no time.”

She nodded slowly and stared at Clint a few moments before she pulled on a fake smile, her voice cracking out a small polite, “thank you,” and quickly left to shed her tears in private.

Bruce looked at his feet and felt his heart grow heavy. She trusted so rarely yet seemed to love so deeply. He couldn’t imagine what the thought of Barton and Loki together must be doing to her…

The monitor across the room began beeping and he quickly shook himself, adjusted his glasses, and raced to read the data popping up on the screen.

\-------------------------------------------------

“Hey,” Steve knocked on the metallic frame to the living room balcony, signalling to the woman sitting on the edge of the railing that he was there. She turned her head slightly to acknowledge his presence. He moved forward and crossed his arms over his chest against the evening air. “I just wanted to make sure you were alright.”

“I’m fine.” She cleared her throat and wiped her tears away.

“You know, it’s alright if you are not.” He leaned against the railing a little further down from her to give her space, being sure to keep his eyes on the night sky in the distance.

“I have to be,” she sighed and looked down at the life shuffling along miles and miles below them.

“You don’t have to be right away. This is a shock to us all, and it will take time to adjust.”

“I understand what you are trying to do, but we are not the same,” she bit back at him a little irritated.

“Well,” he said gently defending himself and shrugged at her. “Just remember you are not alone.”

“None of you can relate to my problems with this, okay?” Natasha looked away feeling stupid. She sounded stupid. How many times had she cried over the past few weeks? Too many times. More than she’d like to admit. What was wrong with her? This was not how she should be acting and she knew it.

“I’m not talking about anyone here right now.”

She frowned at him and waited for an explanation.

“I’m talking about Clint…when he wakes up he’s going to need a lot of support. And Loki.” Romanoff scoffed and rolled her eyes disgusted. “Now hear me out,” Rogers straightened and stepped closer to her. “Loki might have destroyed half the city, endangered and killed people, and probably ticked off the rest of the universe, but…” he took her hands and gently held them. “He brought us together, and showed us that individually we are alone and struggle needlessly, but together we can do wonderful things.”

“He didn’t need to show me, I knew that already,” she sneered and pulled her hands away. She regretted it as soon as she had; the loss of his warmth and feel of his support left her colder than she had been for the past few weeks. She just wanted to be by herself. She wanted Barton to come back; to hold her again, tell her he loved her and kiss her forehead; wrap her in his safe embrace. Natasha pushed those painful thoughts away and stared forward blankly, trying to not focus on anything.

Steve took a moment to collect himself and his thoughts. When he spoke again, it was still with sincerity and gentle conviction. “I do not believe Loki is a bad man, or god, or whatever he is. I believe there had to have been something more to make him act that way.” Natasha made a face and exhaled her displeasure at someone defending such a pathetic excuse for…whatever he was.

Rogers shrugged and turned to leave, “Remember, he is Thor’s brother. Adopted or not, he believes in Loki. And if he believes in him,” he shrugged again. “Then why can’t I?”

Natasha stayed out on the railing, letting his words sink in as his footsteps receded into the mansion. She missed Barton. She missed him with all of her breaking heart. And that was her problem. She had become too emotionally attached to him. The debt she owed him had gone from protecting his life and possessions to becoming a part of his world. She hated it.

She had always been a loner; a rebel with no loyalties or regard for anyone else’s interest but her own. Her pride had always been a flaw, even after she had admitted defeat and let Clint cuff and cart her off to S.H.I.E.L.D. custody. It was there he had recruited her. They had been younger; he full of dissolutions and her too well accustomed to reality.

_“So you just go out and fight for any side?”_

_“I fight for my own side.”_

_“Yeah? What’s that like?”_

_“What is it like having a spine and self-worth?”_

_“Ouch! Your disposition matches your hair.”_

_“Hot?”_

_“Brilliant,”_

Damn him for ever speaking to her. Damn her for ever listening to him.

\-------------------------------------------------

Stark entered the room and found Thor sitting next to Loki’s bed, his hands folded and his mouth moving silently as if in prayer. He didn’t seem to sense his presence, so Tony made a point to be extra quiet and crept about the room, getting the equipment Banner had sent him for. Once he had said few objects in hand, he went to the door.

“How is Sir Barton fairing?” the thunder god asked startling the billionaire.

“He’s fine,” he turned and gestured toward the pair uncomfortably. “I didn’t mean to bother you.”

Thor shook his head and stood, walking around the bed to stand before him. “You did not. I was just leaving for the night.” He looked back at Loki with sad fondness. “When we were younger, we gave thanks every evening. The older we became, the less he wished to repeat his aloud, and the shorter mine became. He always started with mother. He loves her so dearly…and I tormented him cruelly over it for so long…When he fell,” he turned his face away and stared at the floor for a moment, struggling with his words. “When he fell, I went out every night to the edge of the shattered Bifrost and gave thanks to the open air. I began with my thanks for having him in my life. I wished every day that he would return. I hoped with all of my heart that Yggdrasil would hear my pleas and bring him safely home.”

Tony suddenly felt incredibly selfish. He had thought of the trickster god as a little prick; someone who looked out for his own self-centred means and destroyed everyone who stood in his way to obtaining his ideal victory. He realised he thought of Loki the same way he thought of his former self, before he was kidnapped and had shrapnel in his chest. Thor’s memory had Loki sounding as if he really had become lost due to bad life choices and was not born some viciously spoiled self-centred brat. Good and kind…enough that there was at least someone fervently wishing for his safety, missing him, regardless of his past transgressions…

He cleared his throat and awkwardly raised the few items in his hands. “Well…Banner needs these. Thank you for sharing that story. I’ll see you around buddy!” he quickly left the room and would have kicked himself down the hall if it were possible.

 _Stupid Loki with his temper tantrum. Stupid Thor for being so nice._ He needed a stiff drink and fast; the guilt from this abrupt twist in his analysis of the god did not sit well with him.

\-------------------------------------------------

Clint let his left arm fall over the side of the giant exposed root he was straddle-laying on. He wished the sun would warm his skin, the wind would cool his body, and the clouds would calm his mind. He took a deep breath. He felt heavy, as if there was a one TON weight pressing down on him. There was this compressed feeling, a tugging in one direction and a grasping from the other. He could feel time dragging along the corners of his mind; every second ticking away, pressing further in upon him. It was starting to give him a headache.

“It’s a new day…” he muttered as he watched Loki stretching on the blanket. The god did it every so often, along with a deep meditation. It had seemed random at first, but after the sluggish sensation had settled into his bones, he knew the motions were routine. The stretching signalled a new day, the mediation signalled it ending.

“You do not look well,” the god became concerned, pausing his actions to go up and press his palm to the archer’s forehead.

Barton sucked in a breath, shocked at having not felt anything in so long. His hand was _so_ cold! Too cold! He groaned and turned his face away, the action sapping his strength and will to move for a while. His body felt sticky and gross, and his stomach ached.

“It’s done,” Loki said timidly fiddling with his fingers. “The spell I used to keep you here is almost spent…you’ll be leaving soon,” he softly promised, his voice holding a sliver of disappointment.

“You jealous?” he mumbled and held out his fingers for the god to take.

The trickster walked around to look the worn out warrior in the eye as he took his hand. “A little…I rather enjoyed our private time together.” He reached out to brush some of Clint’s sweaty hair from his forehead. Much to the archer’s disappointment, he found he could not feel anything again. “There will be other occasions,” his voice sounded half hopeful and half questioning.

“Yeah,” Clint smiled some and squeezed his fingers to try and reassure him.

Loki nodded and licked his lips, looking the archer over to imprint the feeling of him into his memory. He carefully pushed down his growing sense of dread, not wishing to worry the man before they were to part.

“You mad?”

The god smiled affectionately. The act warmed Barton’s heart and made his skin prickle. “No…not even a little.” He leaned forward and pressed his lips to the archer’s brow. “Now close your eyes…I will see you shortly.”

Clint meant to nod his head and blink, but he found himself swept off and away into darkness. The faint thread tied around his chest, which told him were Loki was unravelled and faded, leaving him alone. Falling in slow motion again, he waited until he felt the fires and the screams of lost ones surround him.

 


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have nothing else to say other than I was forced to sit in a basement last night, internetless and edited this chapter, because of a Tornado touch down in the area. Before that the cable line went out from a branch falling onto the room and almost knocking my window in, and before the before of that it was me spending a week in another state with my 91 year old great grandmother (who found out that she is actually 90 and has been living a lie her whole life! "Damn those immigration people for messing up my paperwork! I've claimed a year back! I feel sexier already". I love her.)
> 
> Regardless, my deepest and most sincerest apologises for making you all wait. Please know that my appreciation and gratitude for all of you and the support you have showed me is limitless.
> 
> Thank you a thousand plus infinity times infinity. All mistakes are my own. I do not own the characters. I hope the wait I put you all through is worth it. Enjoy!

\----------------------10----------------------

Clint opened his eyes to blinding sunlight and groaned pitifully. His muscles and limbs felt stiff with disuse and his poor attempt to roll away from the source of the light left him feeling three times worse than before. Sudden fear gripped him when he realised he could only shift just a little before everything in his body screamed in protest. Was he still trapped within his nightmares? There were no screams though…

“Hey,” a voice he hadn’t expected to hear greeted him. He blinked the familiar face into focus and frowned confused.

“What are you doing here Natasha?” his throat was scratchy and he felt as if there were a bag of marbles lodged in his mouth.

“Waiting for you to wake up,” she gave him a half-hearted smile and then shrugged. “I figured you’d want someone familiar here.”

Relief washed over him and he took a moment to savour the feeling of being awake, regardless of all the discomfort he found himself in. Barton looked around and found himself in a white neat room with tons of monitors and blinking screens along the far wall. He shivered and glanced down at his arm were a thick IV was dripping a clear yellow-tinted fluid into him.

“Are you cold?” She reached toward the foot of his bed and pulled up another blanket before he could find the strength to answer. Spreading it over him, she tucking it around him securely before sitting back into the chair she had been occupying a moment ago.

“How did…” a rush of panic slammed into him. The room wasn’t part of the Hellicarrier or any one of the many S.H.I.E.L.D. medical units, which meant they had escaped. But then… “Is Loki here?” He tried to focus and remember how to open himself up to feel the god’s presence. He needed to know if he was safe. There was a dull ache throbbing heavily within his chest and he realised that only half of the reason why he was shaking was due to the IV.

Romanoff flinched at the sorcerer’s name and smoothed some of the blanket down along the side of the bed trying to remain calm. “He is…fine.” She replied with some difficulty.

“Where is he?”

“He is in the next room.”

Clint struggled to sit up. “Take me too him.”

She pushed him back down. “Lay back, you’re going to hurt yourself. You’ve only just woken up; relax.”

“No Tasha, please!” he begged reaching out to touch her. “You don’t understand I –”

“You’re right I don’t!” she cried and then recoiled as if she had been hit. She covered her mouth and rose, going to the window on the other side of his bed. After a few deep calming breaths, she pulled herself back together and began again. “You’re right…I…I don’t understand what has…happened between you…both…” swallowing down her distaste she shuttered, ashamed of the sudden anger she felt toward the man she had known and loved for so long.

Clint held out his free hand and waited for her to come over and take it, pulling her to sit on the bed next to him. “I’m sorry…I know everything happening the way it has, has been stressful.” He gave her a small smile and squeezed her hand reassuringly, “I’ll try and be good, I promise.”

Natasha returned the gesture and attempted to smile before her face fell again. “Bruce said to inform him when you woke up,” she stood quickly and readjusted the blanket over the archer. “You stay here, rest up, and I’ll go get him. Maybe…” she stopped and stood straight, looking at the floor and struggled with herself for a second. “Maybe…he can approve of you…”

“Thank you,” Barton cut her off gently, knowing she wouldn’t be able to say the rest without breaking. “I appreciate everything that you have done, Tasha.”

She nodded stiffly and then left the room quickly, leaving him to settle back into the comfortable bed.

Clint sighed and closed his eyes as he waited. Well that went better than what he had expected…maybe things would be easier than he had anticipated. He could only hope…

The door opened and he turned his head to find Steve and Bruce entre, one baring a tray of food, the other a chart and a bag of medical instruments.

“Morning!” Rogers smiled cheerfully and set the tray next to his bed. “How are you feeling?”

“Like I’ve survived an explosion,” he rasped and cleared his throat.

“Excellent,” Bruce nodded and put on his glasses before he began a small routine check-over on the archer. He took his temperature, some blood and saliva samples, and with the help of Steve, sat Clint up to perform a few simple reflex and muscle tests.

“How is it doc?” he asked sinking back into the comfortable support of the mattress.

“Not bad. You’re healthy and all of the bruising you sustained before you passed out has cleared. Even the twilight sleep that was first administered to you is gone,” he grinned and made a few notes on the screen. “The only things you should worry about now are some lingering morphine withdrawal symptoms: severe thirst, mild headaches, maybe feeling chilled for a few days, and your muscles will be sore for a while. It will probably make you fatigued, because you went through the major part of that while still unconscious, so plenty of sleep. No heavy lifting or stress. Take it easy, okay?”

“When am I allowed to visit Loki?” At his question both men froze and took a moment to figure out how they would answer. Steve decided on pouring Clint a glass of water from the pitcher, leaving Banner to sigh heavily and remove his glasses.

“He’s…not…”

Barton felt that sea of panic swell inside of him again. “What do you mean, ‘he’s not’?”

“He just hasn’t woken up yet,” Banner hurriedly replied.

Clint relaxed instantly. Of course the trickster wasn’t just going to magically snap awake like he had. Barton was being hasty. He reminded himself he had just woken up, no matter if it felt as if he’d been sitting there for ages. Loki said he would be around shortly. He nodded and licked his lips. _Loki promised…he will be up soon…_

Bruce and Steve carefully watched the archer, both exchanging a look before Steve offered him the glass. Barton couldn’t lift it himself, so he let the solider help him bring it to his lips. As soon as the cool liquid brushed his tongue he realised how deeply thirsty he was. His stomach rumbled loudly and he eagerly gulped down the water, letting some of it spill over the corners of his mouth and run down his chin. It felt good to have it wash along the back of his throat, easing the heat and dryness that was bothering him so. He accepted two more glassfuls, before Rogers pulled it away.

“Okay, okay,” he set the cup down and reached to pick up the bowl. “If you drink too much you’re going to make yourself sick. At least settle your stomach a bit.” He sat on the side of the bed and helped Clint feed himself.

It was oatmeal. Plain oatmeal with not even a dash of milk or a tablespoon of sugar! It was a crime! Clint grimaced and swallowed a quarter of the small bowl down before he turned his head away. “No more, please…I feel stuffed.” Steve nodded and set the bowl back on the tray.

“At least one of us will check-in on you every so often,” Bruce explained bringing over a white slim controller. “If you need anything, just push the blue button, if you feel endangered the red. Yellow turns on and brings up the TV, and the buttons around it control volume and channels. Oh, and of course JARVIS is always ready to answer your questions.”

“Ja-who?”

“JARVIS?”

“Yes, Mr. Banner?”

“Whoa!” Clint smiled and looked around at the ceiling.

“I’ll be back to check on you in a few hours,” the gamma-specialist promised gathering his tools.

“Hey, how long am I supposed to lay here like a squash?”

Banner smiled and happily replied, “I do not think for more than a day or two. You seem to be bouncing back pretty fast.” He made one final check over of the monitors in the room before leaving.

They were both quiet for a time: Steve waiting patiently and Clint pondering on what to do next.

“So…” he said finally and looked at the soldier. “Do you like cartoons?”

“Sure,” he shrugged neutrally.

“Great; JARMOOSE?” he called toward the roof.

“Yes, sir?” the A.I. seemed almost confused as to if he were being addressed or not.

“Do you like cartoons?”

“I was not programed to have an opinion on such matters.”

“You sound like my old roommate, fantastic! We’re going to get along swimmingly,” he rolled his eyes as he flipped the television on and shifted down into the bed more.

Steve smiled and pulled up a chair next to him as they searched for something silly. Each silently hoped it would help distract their minds from the things they knew needed to be fixed, wishing the other could provide the easiest solution.

\-------------------------------------------------

Dinner that evening was uncomfortably odd. Before it had been Tony and Bruce with their heads together over screens flashing Loki and Clint’s condition; Steve and Natasha quietly conversing and comforting one another; and Thor eating almost everything. Tonight, however, it was silent. No one spoke and the only person who seemed to be unaffected by Clint awakening was Thor, who, if anything, seemed to have gained an even bigger appetite in celebration of the good news.

“So…” Tony said slowly, pushing the peas around on his plate not wanting to look up. “Pepper is coming in a few days. Does anyone want her to bring them something?” No one answered. “Okay…”

“Oh wait!” Thor spoke up causing everyone to jump a bit. He wiped his mouth and pointed a drumstick at the billionaire across from him. “Poptarts! I require more, for we are out.”

“I just bought almost a whole shipment from Cosco the other day!” Steve cried exasperated.

“I know. I ate them. That is why I require more.” He smiled happily pleased and resumed chewing on the drumstick.

Natasha took a deep breath and pushed her irritation down. Now was not the time to pick fights among them. Now was the time to figure out what they would do once Loki woke up, not who could eat the most of what in a day. If Loki was anything like Thor, they were going need to buy out a small grocery just to meet half of the thunder god’s insatiable needs alone. She snorted her displeasure and poked angrily at her carrots at the thought of eating at the same table with Loki.

“You don’t have to eat them if you dislike them,” Steve quiet said leaning toward her a bit.

“What?” she looked at him confused and then realised what he was referring too. “Oh…no I have no problem with carrots.” She took a fork full and munched on them, pretending they were the trickster magician’s legs. With that image in mind, she went to work destroying her chicken aggressively.

“Whoa Tash, it’s just a dead bird. You don’t have to beat it, it’s not running anywhere and no one is going to try and steal it.” Tony teased before realising that opening his mouth had been a bad idea. The look she gave him was pure malice. She dropped her fork and knife, which clattered off the plate and onto the floor, before slowly rising from her seat, stalking around the table and out of the room; all the while never letting him out of that blood chilling glare until she had rounded the corner.

“Was that necessary?” Rogers chided and set his utensils down gently, wiping his mouth and raced after her.

“Hey! I was just…” he sighed and gave up. “I’m…I’m sober,” he sighed wistfully pushing himself away from the table and left the room to rectify his “problem”.

Bruce took a calming breath and looked over a Thor, who was still enjoying his meal, unaffected by the chaos around him. “So…the weather today was nice…”

Thor nodded in agreement and helped himself to more potatoes.

\-------------------------------------------------

Steve knew where he’d find her. She was on the balcony, sitting this time, on the floor with her legs over the edge, hugging the vertical bar close to her shaking body. Natasha was trying so hard to hold back her sobs Steve could see it was physically starting to hurt her. He went over, crouched down, and tried to extract her.

“No!” she brushed him off and tightened her hold. He nodded understanding and opted instead to sit behind her, softly rubbing her back. She finally broke and let her loud cries wrack her body before the sounds were snatched up by the windy grey evening.

“He’s so different…” she managed after a time falling back into his embrace.

“We all change,” he offered stroking her hair and pushed his own personal pains aside. “He only just woke up –”

“He feels different!”

“– just give it some time.” She sighed heavily and adjusted her head more comfortably upon his shoulder. “You’ll see…” he promised kissing the side of her head.

Natasha nodded and let the captain gently rock her back into calm. She hated Barton. She hated him with all of her breaking heart. And she hated herself.

What was wrong with her? This was not how a master assassin acted. She had always been in control of her emotions. This swirling inner turmoil, that threw her off balance at every chance, was not familiar to her. The last time she felt something close to this sadness was when she was young and had not made lead ballerina in the sugarplum dance. Now that she was older, she realised how completely ridiculous her tears had been, but the disappointment was well deserved. She had failed, and had a right to Ivan’s wrath.

She hissed and pressed her palm to her forehead. That wasn’t real…she squeezed her eyes shut and held her breath. She had never tried out for _The Nutcracker_. She had never been a sugarplum princess. Hell, she didn’t even know if she had ever taken a ballet class in her life!

Steve felt her immediate distress and held her a little tighter. He had seen this before; she’d suddenly stop what she was doing, close her eyes, hold her breath and wait. It was almost as if she was experiencing some pain. Steve had never been too concerned with it before, but over the past few weeks these incidents were becoming more frequent. He had never dared to ask her what they were about…but this made the fourth one that day…

Natasha let out a shaky breath and relaxed little by little back into his arms. “I’m sorry,” she whispered and rubbed at her forehead slightly embarrassed.

“It’s fine.”

“No,” she swallowed, “No, it’s not.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” he ventured cautiously, holding back his hope.

How did one talk about something like this? “I…” she licked her lips and took another deep breath, “I don’t…know how.”

“Start anywhere, we’ll figure out which direction we’re heading once we figure out which ones we are not facing.”

She bitterly laughed and rubbed her temples. “How…how much do you know about me?”

“Apart from what you’ve told me and the little information S.H.I.E.L.D. provided before the invasion, not much.”

So she had to start further back. She sighed, _won’t this be fun?_ , and ran her fingers through her hair. “My parents died when I was young. Very young. It was a fire, and I do not remember anything other than that. For a long time I didn’t remember I had parents. The first memory I have, after flames and screams, is Ivan. Ivan Petrovitch Bezukhov. He was a Soviet officer. I don’t remember what his station was, but we were well off.

“The KGB started training me when I was six. At least, I think I was six. I don’t know how old I am,” she couldn’t stop herself from laughing at how ridiculous she sounded. “Ivan never told me a date, Russia never gave me a date, and when I went in for my first physical at S.H.I.E.L.D. the lady told me I was maybe sixty, but I looked as though I was in my early twenties. They have my birthday publicly down as 1985, but I was around before World War II. Fury wanted me to keep that private. Only upper level agents know about a quarter of this stuff.” She paused and Steve waited patiently for her to continue.

“I guess after a while intelligence thought I was good enough to start doing upper level training. I was just starting to develop into a more womanly body, and they said I would be perfect for the Hand. Their facilities were dark, underground, and we fought all the time against each other. They used to inject us with things. Put metal caps on our heads and stare into lights. _That_ is as far as my memories of that place go. I don’t even remember how I managed to get out. Once second I was in the basement, the next I was in the snow at some camp miles away.”

Her words provoked a thought that suddenly startled Rogers. “Wait, the Hand? As in _the_ Hand? The guys in black from Asia? The ninjas?”

“Well not all of them are Asian, but…” Natasha stopped and leaned sideways a bit to look at him questioningly. “Yes…why?”

“When did you say you were with them?”

“I was never technically _with_ them; they infiltrated the KGB to train their assassins to be double agents. I guess the paperwork on it all says we were to appear to work for the Soviets, but report directly to the current leader of the Hand. It failed though.”

The wind went from his lungs and he felt himself go numb. “I remember you…”

She turned slightly more in his arms to look at him better. “What?”

“I remember you. You were young. It was early 1941, I think. We were looking for a way to stop Schmidt. In order to do that we had to get our hands on one of his goons: Dr. Arnim Zola. It was a day or two before we ambushed the weapons train he was on. We stumbled upon this encampment. We thought it was a labour house for children, but we realised it was worse. There were cages, fighting areas, a giant furnace to hide evidence – it was disgusting.” Natasha controlled her breathing as she watched him slowly lose himself to the memory. His arms around her had slackened as his eyes had clouded over as his anxiety took hold of him.

“My men went in and started blowing the place apart; we gathered as many as we could and took them to neutral territory. My friend James went with me into the basement and we found a room. There were a handful of these young girls strapped to chairs, staring into these bright green screens…and one had vibrant red hair.” He looked at her finally and frowned. “I remember when I first saw you, I kept sense there was something familiar…but that was so many years ago and she was so young, I didn’t think…”

She squeezed her eyes shut with a hiss as pain stabbed through her brain and the hazy flashbacks began racing around her mind.

_There was an earth splitting crash, rubble fell from the ceiling, and alarms started up one by one. Men and women shouted as they ran about them, some leaving and not returning, some adjusting a few of the instruments before disappearing behind the wall. The whole building shook in sporadic violent waves. She was scared, but she couldn’t move. It hurt to move. It hurt to stay still, but she couldn’t look away. She couldn’t see. She had lost that ability ages ago. There was nothing but him._

_The will, the source of power, the way…_

_Someone grabbed her face and turned her head away from the bright screen. The chanting voices slowly faded. She tried crying out, but she couldn’t speak. She had lost her voice just after she had lost the will to scream. She couldn’t remember the last time she had even breathed. Could she still?_

_Her eyes came into focus. Instead of the familiar non-descript face of one of the proctors, she was greeted with gentle blue eyes, a warm yet serious expression, and the softest voice:_ “I’ve got you.”

“What?” she whispered blinking and realised she wasn’t strapped tightly to that rickety chair in the dark. She was on her feet, leaning over the shorter edge of the railing now; one of Steve’s arms firmly around her waist and his other hand held a sure grip on her left wrist.

“I’ve got you,” he repeated and pulled her back away from danger. When they were in the centre of the balcony, he wrapped Natasha in his arms and held her. She tried focusing on her breathing. It was hard, as if she’d jumped into freezing cold water and was now stuck under the ice. The space she had entered from had been so clear before but now there was nothing but miles and miles of darkness…

“What happened after that day?”

“I…I don’t remember…I don’t remember anything. Nothing until I was leaving the Red Room Academy…”

Steve held her trembling frame closer, and was relieved when he felt her shift to embrace him as well. They did not speak the rest of the evening, just stood there holding each other close until it had become too dark and too cold for either of them to stand it.

They returned inside and entered the lift, punching in the buttons for their private floors. Once it had stopped at his level, he turned to say good night, but found her burying her face into his chest instead. She wrapped her arms around him tightly and he knew what she was silently asking of him and how terrified she was of doing so.  Steve realised then how big of a deal it was for her to open up to him like this, and why she had never done so with anyone else in the past. He put his arms around her and hit the button to close the door, letting it continue its trek down to her level.

They hesitated a moment before they stepped off of the lift together.

\-------------------------------------------------

“And the lab?”

“A failed chemical weapons experiment. Handled, everyone is safe and those responsible are being questioned.”

“And the bombing in the Avenger’s rooms?”

Fury did not need to fake being pissed off for this semi-lie to sound true; “Stark playing around with his gadgets. He is paying for the damage and has already been put in time out.”

“And the prisoner?” The million dollar question.

“Has been put back into his cell and is being held under strict lock down procedures. Thor has just returned from Asgard and we are in the process of discussing our relationship with their…planet.”

“And the aliens?”

“As far as we have gathered, and from what Loki has provided, they are billions of light-years away and are not going to be here anytime soon. Your beach weekend trip will remain uninterrupted from them.”

“Director Fury,” the grim faced silver-blonde haired woman glared at him and folded her hands together.  “I would like to remind you, that if you cannot take this job seriously, you can and will be replaced.”

“I apologise ma’am. You’ll have to forgive my inappropriate behaviour; these past few months have been pretty hard on my nerves.”

“If you feel you are no longer able to handle the –”

“Oh no, I am able to handle this job.” Fury said looking at each of them in turn. “I only wish to point out that over the past few months I have had more conference calls with you all, than any other time over the thirty or so years I have worked as a second in command and as the director of this program.”

“To which we thank you for your life time dedication,” the man with the bad toupee replied. “However, with the rise in crime rates caused by super human or unnatural forces; the mutant revolts around the world; and now these ‘heroes’, these people who are not keeping things out of the media, which used to be private for the safety of peace. This all has upset the balance of what we hold fundamentally close as the truth to protecting our race.”

“I understand and promise I am doing all that I can to keep the Avengers, as well as any mutant you have deemed worthy of our interest, under control. I only need time.”

“And we give it to you,” the woman said leaning back in her chair to tug on the bottom of her suit jacket. “But remember this: we can only give so much before these _things_ become…too much.”

Fury bowed his head in a gesture of humility, “I appreciate your generosity.”

“See that you continue work, we will no trouble you no longer,” the elder Asian man with large bug-eye glasses turned over a page in his folder and began writing something down.

“Unless there is another fiasco, we will meet again seven months from now, same time?” the newly appointed Indian female member offered. The others nodded in agreement.

“This is more than a sufficient amount of time to fix things,” the quiet old man on the far left, with burn marks on his face, added folding his hands together.

“Thank you,” Fury bowed his head again.

“Fix them,” the old blonde woman snipped before the screens switched off and he was left alone.

Nick calmly gathered his things together and went directly to his office. He opened the door and kicked the chair in front of him over. “Stupid motherfucking bitch!”

“Toad lady got the last word again, huh?”

Fury stopped and turned toward the man standing in the corner. A smile broke out onto his face as he quickly shut the door and crossed the room to give him a hug. “You are just the person I was hoping to see.”

“Oh come on, it has only been a few months!” Coulson laughed patting his shoulder.

“Just shut the fuck up and respect the fact I’m hugging you.”

“Ah a Fury hug, nothing like it…kind of humbling, sir.”

“I hate you.”

Coulson didn’t miss the unspoken words Fury’s voice held. His chest swelled with pride and he couldn’t stop himself from smiling as they pulled away. “Phillip J. Coulson, reporting for duty, sir,” he saluted and looked around wetting his lips and clasping his hands together. “So…Maria told me you were hanging onto my trading cards for safety?”


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well I almost updated this one on time, but I felt it was too short, so I kept writing and edited until I got this. The original chapters are SO much different than what I started out with. It's kind of awful when I got back and see that some of this stuff was suppose to have been in chapter 6...nice to see the story expand. Also kind of creepy to see how psychic my character predictions are, but more on that later.
> 
> Thank you for making me challenge myself.
> 
> All mistakes are my own. Marvel owns the names of characters. If you have any questions do not hesitate to ask and please enjoy!

\----------------------11----------------------

Thor sighed and closed his eyes, trying to focus once more. It was early in the morning and he found himself, once again, on his knees next to his brother’s bed; another night lost due to troubled sleep. Nightmares, the same ones he had suffered from since he was a small child. Wild monsters, nasty giants, and dark shadows sweeping upon the castle, taking everyone he loved from him. He could do nothing but kneel helpless in the halls, watching everyone he loved die as he pressed a hand tightly to the gaping hole in Loki’s chest; dreading the moment the lights went from his eyes. Holding him close, desperately crying for him to come back as the world around him burned.

He shivered and shook himself. He had come to the trickster’s room to seek comfort, not to indulge the demons of his mind. To see with his own eyes that Loki was safe and breathing. There was nothing to fear.

He squeezed his eyes tightly and buried his face in his hands. There was everything to fear since the god had discovered his true heritage and flown into madness. The darkness that now gripped and twisted Loki’s soul and heart had been but a wilted seed, that all had thought to be dead, until some force nourished it back to life. Now the thorns and poisonous sap that wept off of its thickly tangled branches barricaded him from seeing who he really was; what his family thought he was.

 _Was_ …Thor exhaled tiredly and lifted his head to rest folded hands upon his lips. That word bit him every chance it could. Who _was_ Loki? He _was_ a quiet, curious youth who had a temper like a wild fire if it were sparked and let fanned. He _was_ brilliant, cunning, eloquent, secretive, compassionate; the perfect ideal gentlemen at court…almost. He _was_ a prankster, a storyteller who ran to keep up with his wandering words, a friend, a brother…

“Loki…” he whispered and reached over to smooth some of the tangled hair from his brother’s pale face. His temperature was beginning to come back to normal…well…normal for him. Thor should have known after all those years of living with him what he truly was…shouldn’t he? If he had would things be different now? Would Loki have come to him instead of lash out the way he had? Thor was angry about it all. He could not pinpoint who he was truly angry with: himself, Loki, or their father. He just knew he was angry. Perhaps it was even all three: Loki for succumbing to this madness; Odin for keeping this a secret and making them compete against each other, even when he knew Loki could never take Asgard’s throne; and himself for being selfish, for being blind, for being the hero and always trying to save everything to make himself look good.

He remembered a time when he had made one of those terrible vows to Loki. They were lying under the shade of a giant tree to keep cool from the scorching summer sun. Loki had just finished telling him of the nightmares he had been suffering from for weeks.

_“And I was falling. Jötunns were all around me, and I couldn’t get away from them. They were so huge, but they did not hurt me. When they touched me, they felt warm…then they let go and I was gripping the edge of the Bifrost…mama was crying and you and father where angry with each other. I kept trying to ask for help but none of you heard me. You all just stood there looking away from me. And then this hand closed around my leg and pulled me downward. It was cold and blue…just as the stories say they are,” he turned his head to look at the blond. “What do you think it means?”_

_“It doesn’t mean anything accept that you had a bad dream,”_

_“It means something more than that.” Loki protested and turned to look up at the green leafy canopy again. “Mama said all dreams have a meaning. They relate to everything: the past, present, future…it must mean something.”_

_“Maybe we’ll go to war!” Thor suggested excitedly._

_Loki’s spirits fell a bit and he whispered, “I don’t want to go to war.”_

_“What?” Thor sat up, leaning to him a bit to hear him better._

_“I don’t want to go to war,” he said a little louder. “I don’t like it…the idea is…” he shrugged unable to find the right words._

_“I want too. I want to fight them all. Get rid of them for good. Then we wouldn’t have to deal with them coming back.” He swung his fist in the air, as if punching something and then quickly added, “Not that they really could. We have their heart.”_

_“What?” He frowned at him confused._

_“Their heart.”_

_“The casket father showed us?”_

_Thor nodded, “Yes that is it.”_

_“But how can they live without their hearts?”_

_“They are monsters, Loki. Monsters don’t have hearts.”_

_“Oh…” he looked down at a patch of grass and began picking at it sadly. “I feel sorry for them.”_

_“Why?” Thor asked revolted._

_“No one likes them…it must be lonely…”_

_“Loki, they are monsters. They don’t have any feelings.”_

_He looked up at his brother hopefully, and wished that his question would not be taken as stupid, but instead useful, “because they have no hearts?”_

_“Yes!” he clapped him on the arm. “Now you’re getting it!”_

_Loki beamed, thrilled from his brother’s praise, before his face fell. “It scares me.”_

_“What does?”_

_“The idea of not having a heart…”_

_“We’re Asgardian,” he said matter-of-factly and pointed to his chest. “We have hearts made of gold.”_

_“Do you think monsters take hearts from people? Because they do not have one?”_

_“I suppose…I guess that must be one of the reasons why they attacked Midgard,” the blond shrugged and noticed his brother’s quiet unease. He nudged him to get his attention and then smiled down at him. “Don’t be sad little brother; I made a promise. When I grow up, I’ll get rid of them all. That way you don’t ever have to be scared again.”_

Now Thor wished he had never spoken those vile words. He wished he had never shown his disgust and anger. What must Loki have thought? What did the conflict and pain of suffering through such memories alone feel like? Thor had been an ignorant child and his blind prejudice had hurt someone he loved dearly.

Thor pulled his hand back and rubbed his eyes before he kissed the small porcelain disk around his neck. It was a priceless gift from a crafty younger Loki, just before he began learning magic. The smooth delicate edges of the cream-white clay were rounded and in the centre was an elegant detailed etching of Yggdrasil in a glossy black glaze. When Thor had presented his own mock creation of it, the result had been poor. Loki, however, had just stared at him, eyes brimming with tears, before a giant grin split over his chubby face to reveal a missing tooth and his overflowing happiness. Thor had kept the charm upon a leather cord, never daring to take it off, even in the midst of a fierce battle. Countless years later, the feeling that swelled in his heart when he found that Loki had not discarded the one he had made for him was indescribable. He knew then that his brother was not a lost cause. He would bring him back. It would take time, but with the help of his new comrades, Clint’s soul being bound to him, and Yggdrasil’s grace, he would bring Loki back to the light.

He looked at the clock on the wall and saw it was almost 5:00AM, no wonder he felt so heavy with exhaustion. He would finish his thanks and head to the kitchen to do the dishes before anyone woke up. It was the least he could do for all that these good Midgardians had done for him and his kin.

“I pray to you Yggdrasil, Great Tree of all. Mother and Father to every creature and being in these nine realms and others of the universe…”

\-------------------------------------------------

Clint was startled awake by someone touching his forehead. He looked around, holding up his fists in a defensive position as his eyes adjusted to the light in the room. Banner stood before him, his hands raised in a symbol of peace, waiting for the archer to fully wake up and take in his surroundings.

“Is it noon?” relaxing a bit he rubbed his eyes groggily.

Bruce laughed, “No, it’s a new day.” He reached for his chart and gave Barton a small grin. “I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to wake you, I was just checking up on things again.”

Clint nodded and relaxed back into the pillow, letting the doctor go about his routine. He blinked away the sleep from his eyes and notice his bed side table was empty and the TV had been turned off as well. A whole day? “I don’t remember falling asleep…” he mumbled yawning.

“Your body has been through a lot within the past few weeks.”

Barton gasped dumbfounded, “few weeks?”

“Yeah,” Bruce nodded inserting a needle into the joint on the side his IV, drawing forth a little bit of blood. “About a month now.”

“Ugh!” Barton turned his head away and made a face. No wonder his body ached and his fingers twitched: a month without having touched a bow.

“Don’t let it get to you,” Banner detached the main tube and patted his arm. “I think it’s safe to say that you can probably move into your room by the end of the week. I’m confident in saying you can probably get up and move around the room sometime later today. Although you might need some help for a while.”

“Hey, whatever gets me up and going. I’m getting crazy being still. But I am thankful I don’t have to piss through a tube now.”

Banner blushed and turned away to attach a milky looking bag onto the portable IV stand. “Yes well it was better than any alternative,” he muttered connecting the new IV line to the one on his arm.

“What’s that?”

“Food,” he laughed at the look on the archer’s face. “How do you think you’ve manage all this time without eating?”

“Magic…?”

Bruce shook his head, “We’ve been giving you this stuff. It’s called peripheral parenteral nutrition. All the stuff your body needs, right in your arm.”

“And that green tiny bag?”

“Medicine to help keep up your immune system up,” Bruce replied connecting the slim tube to the tiny IV catheter in Barton’s shoulder and punched a few buttons into the machine to control the medical solutions distribution. “You can’t go too far until the bag is empty, so I’ll send someone in with breakfast.”

“I thought I had fast food right here?” he pointed to his arm.

“I’m trying to wane you off of that and back onto real food. You did better than I expected at keeping it all down, so we’ll add some juice today.”

Clint nodded his head in agreement and watched the doctor leave, letting his thoughts settle as he felt the wariness of sleep dragging at the back of his mind. Before he could blink a couple of times, he was out cold.

\-------------------------------------------------

“How is he?” Banner asked coming into the room.

“Same as before, temperature rose a bit this morning, but nothing else,” Tony shrugged as he handed over the viewing screen. “He’s not doing worse,” he offered trying to find a positive.

“Damn,” he hissed frustrated as he looked over the god’s vital signs. It wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t good. Well, he really didn’t know what it all was, or how to do anything to fix it all, but his temperature rising was something.

Steve stepped into the room. “You paged me?”

“Yeah, Clint’s up. Same meal as before, plus the vitamins and a small juice. Keep an eye on him; he might not keep it all down today.”

“I’m on it,” he nodded and made to leave before his eyes fell upon Loki. He hesitated a moment before timidly asking, “How is he?”

Tony shrugged, rubbing his eyes tiredly and snarkily replied, “His system is sluggish.”

“He’s not filtering out the toxins like Clint did,” Bruce clarified politely, looking at the solider over his glasses. “It’s been in him too long so his body is just storing sections of the chemicals in random places until they break down or we drain them out.”

“And we can’t drain too much at a time or things start beeping and flashing, and Hulk threatens to come out, and then I need a drink, and it’s just a mess.” Tony waved his hand in a dismissive floppy manner, rolling his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose as the thought of a nice cool glass of whiskey filled his mind, making his mouth water.

“Do you think if you gave him a ‘Boosting Pack’, it’d jump start his recovery?” Rogers suggested.

Stark and Banner both stared at him stupefied.

“Why didn’t we think of that?” Tony gaped looking at the gamma-specialist.

“Because it was simple and nothing in our lives is simple,” he muttered writing it down and turned to the wall behind him to punch a few buttons in. “Especially yours…” he whispered under his breath.

“I heard that!”

Steve smiled at their childish chatter before he frowned and then grew nervous. “Hey, Mr. Stark?”

“Again, it’s Tony. Mr. Stark was my father,” he corrected mechanically before taking his attention from the doctor and directing it to the soldier. “Yeah?”

“Can…would it be possible if I spoke with you, in private?”

Tony narrowed his eyes for a second; his focus directed through the soldier to some unknown space for a brief moment before he nodded. “Sure,” he turned to Banner. “I’ll talk with him and whip up a super strength pack in the lab to use if the regular doesn’t work, okay?”

“Yeah, I’ll be here.” he nodded not taking his eyes off of his work. “Don’t forget to feed Clint.”

“We won’t mom.” Tony grabbed his jacket from the chair and headed for the door, pushing the captain into the hall. “We’ll even take him for a walk later and maybe play fetch if he’s feeling up to it.”

“Tony!” Banner warned just as the door closed between them.

\-------------------------------------------------

Natasha flipped and landed crouching on the balls of her feet. A single bead of sweat dropped from her brow as she slowly rose and walked across the floor to the bench to snatch up her giant water bottle. Draining half of it she turned to the training room wall and watched as JARVIS brought up her scores. Nearly perfect across the board.

“Fuck,” she threw the hard plastic container at the wall and flipped the bench, giving it a good kick and cracked the wood.

“What ails you, Lady Widow?” Thor asked taking the last few steps down into the room.

“Leave me alone,” she tugged as her hair and then shouted, “and I’m not a lady!” before making her way across the room.

The god bowed his head, “apologises. I meant to praise and recognise your great achievements and honour.”

“Yeah well it offends me.”

He paused for a moment, looking at the mess she had created, before going to it and began cleaning it up. “I once ruined a banquet table in a fit of rage.” Romanoff made a noise in her throat and rolled her eyes. “Scoff at me all you wish, it was, at the time, done with good intentions of showing my…hatred and displeasure.” He smiled sadly, “it was a childish temper tantrum…brought on by a lack in understanding or compassion for higher matters. It was to be my coronation, and a group of Jötunns attacked the armoury. They tried to rightfully take back the casket of Ancient Winters. We had stolen it from them ages ago, when they had attacked Midgard. It was punishment for upsetting the balance of the realms. My brother,” he looked at her then, “my brother went to them and tricked them into sneaking past our defences. I believe he did it out of jest, boredom perhaps, but I know he knew they would never make it far.”

“So you flipped a table because you were angry at him?”

“No, I flipped the table because I was angry at my father for not letting me start a war with them. I was angry because, what was supposed to be a day to celebrate me: celebrate my honour, my existence, my ego, was ruined and I was not king. I did not find out about Loki’s plot until much later, after my banishment to this realm.”

“So, what, you hate him for it?” she sighed going over to lean against the cool metal of the wall.

“No, I am thankful.”

She frowned at him and crossed her arms over her chest. “You’re thankful? You’re thankful he ruined a day you were to be crowned king? You’re thankful he let the enemy into your house? You’re thankful he sent things after you to kill you and made you miserable?”

“Yes,” Thor rose and went to the trash bin to dispose of the shattered water bottle pieces he had collected. “I was not ready. I was selfish, thick-headed, and only focused on what made me look good. How I could do things to better only myself. How I could keep being number one.” He dusted his hands off and looked at her, “being a part of a team, being a friend, a family member…it is not about being the best, the fastest, or the brightest. It’s about being there for them. Being the best you can be for them; being the fastest to get to them when they are in need; being the brightest so you know what to say or do in a time of crisis to save them.” He gestured to the board and then to her. “You are a capable warrior, and I am honoured to fight by your side. These numbers are but figures. They are not who you really are. They do not reflect your hopes, your dreams, your passions…they are lights. They are not even constant.”

She rotated her jaw, annoyed, and heard it pop a few times. Natasha pushed herself up from the wall and stalked toward the exit without another word or look in his direction. He didn’t know who she was. She wasn’t a regular human. She wouldn’t let his words get to her. She didn’t need them. They were just air. Like those stupid lights.

She huffed out a breath and ran her fingers through her hair, _nothing huh?_

\-------------------------------------------------

Stark and Rogers walked down the hall in silence; their mutual intended destination: the kitchen. Tony had his eyes and heart set on a nice bottle of the wobbly stuff, and Steve was to play Bettie Crocker and mix up a meal for Barton.

“So,” Stark offered after he had become uncomfortable and bored with no chatter or noise but the sound of their footsteps and breathing. “You wanted to talk with me?”

“Huh?” Steve asked coming up from his thoughts and then realised what he had said. “Oh, yes. Um,” he rubbed the back of his neck and shrugged. “I know it has been a few days, but I never properly thanked you for what you did back on the jet.”

“What did I do?” he asked honestly not knowing what the other man was referring too.

“Before we hit the water,” Steve offered, hoping that would help spark his memory. It didn’t, so he continued, “you pulled me into your arms,” he gestured with his own arms and felt heat rush to his face embarrassed.

Tony took a moment to think and then nodded, shrugging it off. “It was nothing. I grew up hearing about how you crashed into the Arctic and I figured you needed something to distract you from flashbacks just as much as I did.” He entered the kitchen first, bee-lining toward the cabinet at the far end. Unlocking it he quickly rummaged through the numerous expensive bottles, searching for a flavour of the day.

“I don’t understand. Why would flashbacks be something you need distracting from?”

“I was kidnapped once.” He pulled out an unmarked bottle of something clear and took a swig. “Eck! Maple Syrup flavoured!” He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and took it with him to the counter; grabbing a cup out of the drying wrack and filling it more than half way with the vodka.

“Kidnapped,” he nodded, “I remember reading it in your file, but it never said anything more than it had happened.”

“Yeah,” he screwed the cap back on and opened the fridge to get a two liter of Pepsi out. “I erased everything S.H.I.E.L.D. and the government had about it. I was in the Middle East, something about a weapons presentation. The group of soldiers I was with were attacked by the very weapons I had created. The terrorists took me to a base and that is where I made the rough draft of this,” he tapped the glowing plate in his chest. “And the very first model of my suit. It was then that I knew my government weapons making, crazy sex, and childish days were over.” He put a splash of the pop into the glass before taking a sip of it and then considered what he had said and wagged his eyebrows. “Well, crazy sex with random strangers.”

Steve flinched and shook those images out of his mind, opting to focus on the ingredients for Barton’s meal instead. He had just finished setting the water to boil and fished out the box of small juice cans from the pantry when Natasha entered the room.

“Hello,” he greeted her with a smile and a polite nod of his head.

“Steve,” she returned the gesture and then noticed Tony leaning against the counter to her left. “Stark,” her greeting was cold and her look was dark and flat.

“Miss Romanoff,” he finished his drink and saluted her with his empty glass. “What brings you out so early this morning?” He began merrily making himself a second drink.

“It’s almost noon.” She retorted not holding back her displeasure, at that moment, of his existence.

“Is it really!?” he glanced at his watch and then gasped. “JARVIS!”

“Yes sir,”

“You were supposed to have told me when the sun came up! It is way past my bed time!” He grabbed up the bottles and his glass. “I guess I’ll have to sleep tomorrow. I mean, one more day isn’t going to hurt right?”

“Sir, I do believe we are on day four.”

“Good god man! I better get to work before I crash.” He scooted past Natasha, excusing himself nicely and raced to the elevator.

“Jarvis?” Steve asked after he had heard the lift speed downward and knew Stark was far out of hearing distance.

“Yes, Captain Rogers?”

“The first sign of him falling asleep on the job or something explodes, would you mind informing one of us please?”

“Sure thing, sir. Is there anything else you require?”

“No, that is all. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, sir.”

Steve looked at Natasha and smiling he walked toward her to put his hands on her shoulders. “How are you feeling?”

She nodded and tucked some hair behind her ear, crossing her arms over her chest uncomfortably. “Better.”

“Do you want to see him today? Maybe try to start off on the right foot this time?”

She took a moment to think about it and then nodded. “I’d…I’d like to try again. Maybe not now…but later,” she reasoned looking down at her feet.

“Good,” his grin widened as he turned to see if the water was boiling yet. He nodded to her in a gesture of polite excusal and went to finish preparing the rationed meal. He set up the tray with the bowl of oatmeal, the container of vitamins, a small can of juice, a glass, and a pitcher of water.

Natasha leaned against the counter to his left. “How is…he?” she hesitated and swallowed down the disgust that threatened to overcome the last word.

“Better.”

“I…” she stopped and bit her bottom lip before correcting quietly, “I wasn’t talking about Clint.”

Steve turned to her, “he’s…better. Temperature rose again this morning…” he shrugged. “Banner is a great physician, but he isn’t really a Harvard trained doctor, and none of us know about Asgardians enough to do much for him.”

“He’s not Asgardian,” she whispered and looked up at him.

“Thor said he was adopted,”

“The legends say he’s a snow giant,”

Steve smiled a bit and put his hands on her arms again, “Thor said not all of the legends were true.” She looked away from him, but didn’t resist when he pulled her in for a hug. “How was training?”

“I need a new water bottle.”

“That’s the fifth one in two days,” he chuckled before realising she wasn’t biting. With a sigh he decided to give up trying to make her laugh. If she didn’t give him her usual sarcastic response it was safer to change topics. He pulled back some and cradled the side of her face with his palm, “I only have a five in my pocket, but I’ll trade it for your thoughts?”

Natasha closed her eyes and leaned forward, wrapping her arms around him. “I’m not ready to sell them yet.”

“Fair enough,” he rubbed her back thinking, “movie tonight?” She shook her head. “We can go to the park?”

“No,”

“Maybe take out a jet? I’m getting better at not panicking when you nose dive it.”

She sighed annoyed, “no Steven.”

“A walk to the arcade again? That was fun the other day. What was that game, with the arrows and you had to jump?”

She pushed away from him irritated and yanked the fridge door opened. “No! I don’t want to do anything tonight.”

He nodded looking at the floor and took a step back to give her some space. Something must have happened in the hour he had left her to herself. It wasn’t a flashback; he knew the signs for the moods that followed those events. This was different. It didn’t involve Clint.  No, she would have bit his head off if it was about the archer. She had asked about Loki, although she usually followed up questions involving anything about him with horrible comments, so it couldn’t have be that…could it?

Natasha relaxed a bit and looked at him; the unaccustomed feeling of guilt inside of her made her mistake his silence and sudden distance for something else. “I’m sorry. I know I said I’d try harder at not losing my temper. Especially with you.” She let the stainless steel doors shut and went to stand before him.

“We all have a lot going on right now,” he gently replied.

“Please don’t make excuses for my irrational and unstable behaviour,” she whispered taking his hands and holding them tightly. “You’re only going to encourage it.”

“Well, it’s not all that bad,” he smirked and kissed her knuckles. “Am I still allowed to call upon you this evening?” he asked chancing a blow to the face.

She let out a dramatic sigh and rolled her eyes with a small smile, “yes, since you asked so nicely.”

“My treat,” he promised before reluctantly letting her go. “I should take this to Clint before it becomes too cold.”

“Nah, he won’t mind. I think he actually prefers it colder. That’s why he adds so much milk in it.”

Steve made a face, “he puts milk in it?” Natasha nodded going back to the fridge and rummaged through it for a snack. “Regardless, he does have to take these vitamins before one,” he checked his watch and then picked the tray up. “I’ll see you around.”

“Kay,” she waved a hand at him, still staring at the selection of fruit in the bottom drawers. Only when she knew she was alone, did she let her shoulders sag and sank down to the kitchen floor. What was she doing? Was she really allowing herself to replace Clint so quickly?

 _I’m not replacing him,_ she thought determined. _I’m surviving a less than ideal situation. I’m coping._ She sighed again. Then why did she feel as if she were stabbing him in the back?

A half glass slid across the floor and stopped just short of brushing her foot. In it was an ice cube and a black liquid that smelled of cherries and Canada. She turned her head to the right and saw Stark lying on his stomach with a glass of his own. “I was listening.” He confessed and took a sip.

“I know, I heard you breathing,”

Tony shrugged and slowly reasoned, “Alright, fair enough.”

She sighed and leaned her head back against the island cabinet. “What do you want?”

“I know I’m not Pepper, and we don’t always get along, but I’m good at listening to problems and finding solutions,” he offered and then reconsidered adding, “Sometimes.”

“What makes you think I need your help?” Natasha bit back venomously and glared at him.

“Well…I can tell you’re upset. Your shoulders are slumped slightly; you’re tired but you’re trying hard not to show it; you feel miserable; and you can’t sleep at night alone,” he shrugged and took a drink. “I’ve done this song and dance a few times.”

Romanoff shook her head, “So what? You’re here to make peace?”

“No, I’m just offering an ear. If it makes peace between us again then, hey! Killed two birds with one stone,” he shifted as if to get up and then stopped, “just know that I’m here to listen no matter what time.”

She sighed and leaned forward grabbing the glass up off the floor. She stared down into it for a moment before quietly asking, “Can you make time now?”

Stark laid back onto his stomach, holding up his glass with a supportive smile, “Cheers.”

“Cheers.”

\-------------------------------------------------

“Hey,” Maria said entering the private side quarters to Fury’s rooms.

Coulson set the last perfectly rolled pair of socks into the drawers. “Hey.”

“Welcome back,” she said awkwardly gesturing with her hands to the space they were in.

“Thank you, it’s good to be back.”

She nodded and then crossed her arms, “So, how many people know?”

“Level seven and up.”

“Wow…that’s…not a lot.”

“No, but I don’t want it to be.” He went to his desk and picked up a file off the top stack. “So tell me what’s been going on.”

“I thought Fury already debriefed you?”

“Yes,” he smiled and sat on the foot of his bed. “But I want to hear it from you. What’s your side, your thoughts, your perspective? I’m going in blind; I need a few leads so I know how to handle things.”

Hill heavily sighed and walked into the room more. “Where do I start?”

“After New York is fine, I saw that all on the news.” He gestured to the desk chair and waited for her to sit before he gave her his full attention.

“Well,” she crossed her legs and leaned back thinking about the past few months. “Loki surrendered and the Avengers held him over night, upon Thor’s request, to try and talk some reason into him. The next day they gave him up to S.H.I.E.L.D.; Thor took the Tesseract back to his world; and the group was sent off to their own separate ways. We kept him on the main base for a little over a month before he began stirring up trouble.”

“During this time was he being questioned?”

“Yes.”

Phil nodded thoughtfully and scribbled a few notes down, “continue, please.”

She heaved a sigh and went on. “We realised the injections that were being given to him, twice daily, were not shutting out his magic. He had adapted to it. So Fury began using new products. Things S.H.I.E.L.D. had been working on to dampen mutant powers. None of them worked. None of the interrogation methods worked either.”

“What ones where used? The injections for mutants, not the methods.”

“The ability inhibiting serums, several tranquilizers created to subdue Cain Marko, and one for control based off of telepathic spinal cord samples pulled from that underground lab in Canada.”

“Who ran the interrogations?”

“Fury…then Jimmy Woo. Jemma Simmons came down to study him for a few days. Jasper was called in and told to hold off until after Xavier came in. Fury negotiated some deal involving cloaking the school from the government if he helped us see into Loki’s mind.”

“It didn’t work?”

Maria shook her head. “No, Xavier said he wouldn’t tell us anything after taking a peek inside. He said he was ashamed for doing so and that we should have just let him go home.”

“Why?”

She shrugged, “Broken I guess. He said, ‘he suffers enough. Let him be. Nothing you do to him will ever amount to what he is capable of doing to himself’. It pissed Fury off. He let the professor leave and then called in Jasper. That is when things went wrong.”

“The attempted escape and relocation?”

“Yes; Loki played along and faked being in pain until he had us were he wanted. I hate to admit it, but we let our defences down, and he almost escaped. He didn’t get very far; someone from lab had been working on an A.C.E. mixture, when he crashed through the wall. The vapours knocked him out. We didn’t have very long, so we strapped him to a board and kept him in that state until we moved to the newest approved model of the Hellicarrier. I believe it was July twentieth. Once we made it to the carrier, Jasper suggested ‘Nightshade Sleep’ as an alternative to making copious amounts of the A.C.E. mixture. It kept him in line for a time, even if we did have to keep upping the dosage.”

“And then Clint?”

She nodded and rolled her eyes, “I don’t even know why he asked him to do it. He didn’t talk to anyone about it and it was off the record and unrecorded. We only have statements from him, Romanoff, and Barton about what happened.”

“When did Barton come out with the ‘feel my feels’ thing?”

“I believe it was the fifth or sixth of August. They were taken to the medical units and Tony and Bruce started caring for them. There really isn’t much to say after that. They worked together to escape and destroyed a good majority of the carrier.”

“I wouldn’t say that…” Coulson mumbled, more to himself, as he absently chewed on the end of his pen.

“What?”

He shifted in his chair and shrugged, “Awful lot of planning to rescue two men, especially when one of them tried to kill the human race not too long ago.”

“I deleted the surveillance videos that showed them all running around the carrier.”

“I saw them before you deleted them.” She glared at him confused. Coulson waved his hand dismissively, “You have your secrets, Fury has his, and I have mine. Now, do you have any idea where they went too?”

Maria shook her head. “No. I have nothing. The tracking device in the jet was disabled and our underwater searches are hitting dead signals and every trail ends half way through a new one.”

Phil nodded and made several other notes before he tossed the papers aside, scooted back onto the bed more and crossed his legs. “How have you been?” he asked allowing himself to finally voice his concern.

“A mess,” she sighed and slumped down in her chair; the stress of her job catching up with her suddenly.

Phil gave her a sympathetic look and offered her his hand. “We’ll get through this.  I promise. I’ll start looking for them; that will take a good chunk of work off of your plate. You just keep Fury out of trouble.”

Hill laughed scornfully, “Easier said than done.”

“I believe in you.”

\-------------------------------------------------

“Is it working?” Tony asked as he came in to relieve Bruce from his shift later on that evening.

“No…not yet…it just seems to be speeding up the storage sorting process his body is doing.” He sighed and set his hands on his hips. “If he doesn’t improve soon…” he trailed off and bit his lip thinking.

“Can’t Thor just take him home? Fix him there and bring him back?”

“No, he said if Clint and Loki are bound, the distance might be too much of a shock on the archer’s system. He’d have to go with them, but Thor also said that Loki’s return wouldn’t be well received…he’d have to do a trial, possible imprisonment, and…Clint would end up staying there until it was done. It could take months there, but be years here. It’s too much of a risk. Thor said to fix him here and then he’d go back and talk things over in Loki’s stead.” He sighed exhausted and rubbed his face, swaying slightly on his feet.

“Hey,” Tony gently bumped his shoulder and jerked his head toward the door. “Go lay down and sleep before you fall over. I’ve got this.”

“I just don’t know what to do if he doesn’t get better.” He gave an empty chuckle and shook his head looking toward the ceiling, “I can’t believe I just said that about a guy that I beat the shit out of a couple of months ago. I can’t believe I really care this much about someone who called me puny and tried to kill us all.”

“Here,” Stark handed over his glass of scotch. Bruce drained it in one gulp and then handed it back. “There’s an extra bottle is in the kitchen, it’s the good stuff.”

“That was enough for now. Drinking any more might not…be the best at the moment,” he stifled a belch and blew out the air slowly.

“Don’t stress over it. Thor seems to think his temperature rising earlier was great. We have that to roll with.”

“Yeah,” he rubbed his chin and turned toward the door. “I’ll do something more tomorrow…”

“Get some sleep,” Tony called over his shoulder and went to make himself comfortable in the large chair on the other side of the room. The door closed cutting off the doctor’s retort. “Jarvis!” Tony called pouring himself another drink as he opened a large grey case.

“Yes sir?”

“Dim the lights to half and keep one up at seventy-five over me, would ya?” He began taking pieces out of the case to tinker with. It was to be an arm part for a new suit he was working on. Well… _one_ of the new ones.

“Yes, sir. Now dimming main lights to fifty percent, light twenty-five at seventy-five percent.”

“Thanks,”

“No problem, sir. Would you prefer it if I gave an update of patient L’s condition every hour again?”

Tony stopped what he was doing and looked over at the sickly form just feet from him. He sighed and leaned back, zapping at a wire to fuse it to the circuit system, “Yeah…”

“Patient L is currently stabilised. Heart rate, fifty-two beats per minute and steady. Last heart rate increase was twenty-seven hours ago, from forty-nine: a three beat increase. Temperature is ninety point two degrees Fahrenheit, or about thirty-two point three-three Celsius. Oxygen levels normal for current situation. Belladonna Sleep solution levels at sixty-seven percent within the body. Current location of largest mass within the small intestine…”

Tony let the A.I. report fade into background noise as he continued to fidget with his armour piece. The steady beeping from the machine and slow drops from the drip in Loki’s arm helped him focus his attention on his work and push the unwanted images he’d been battling with from his mind. JARVIS updated on schedule, Stark burned himself a few times, and the evening city sky slowly turned pale and grey.

By the time 6:30 AM rolled around he found himself flat on the ground staring at the ceiling with an empty bottle and a finished functional piece next to him. Wondering how he got there, Tony tried to move, but found space dancing before his water eyes. His breathing hitched in mild panic and JARVIS’s voice soften into nothing. He was falling…falling in darkness with the magnificence of the cosmos around him. It was beautiful. Even the searing fire within his chest was a melody he couldn’t describe.

 

 


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SORRY! My computer had an emergency and I had to surrender him over to GeekSquad. The keyboard and mouse buttons all stopped working and half the screen was like 'I'm on vacation!', and considering this computer isn't even a year old yet and I treat it like a precious child, I was like "QUICK! TO BEST BUY!" Mom: Why? "BECAUSE MY FANFICTION AND STUFF ARE IN GREAT PERIL AND PEOPLE ARE COUNTING ON ME!"
> 
> It was really hard to keep up with things off of the old desktop we've had since 2000 (Windows XP whew!) which is why I haven't been able to answer comments and stuff. I'm behind on EVERYTHING! So! You all will receive two chapters this week. Maybe three if I can sort things correctly. I've been adding and dropping things from the original outline/drafts and moving all that around for so long that there are abandoned ideas all over the place. 
> 
> But you all don't care about problems I've caused myself. You want to know what's going on! SO HERE IT IS! The names of places, characters, certain things, and stuff belong to their respective owners. I only borrow them to amuse myself and you all. Please enjoy.

\-------------------------12-------------------------

 Stark rolled the dice and moved his piece four spaces. Steve scooped up the white six sided cubes, and let them drop onto the table before moving his eleven. They were playing a random game they had just thrown together that afternoon; mainly to keep Clint from losing his mind and as a way to get Natasha to speak to him again. It was called “Clusterfuck”, thanks to Tony, and had any and all leftover pieces from any incomplete board game Steve had found in the various closets downstairs. Broken, old, bent, faded, and cracked pieces, cards, and an old monopoly board were the main components. They had taken time to Sharpie and pencil over the old names of things for new crazy ones, and even made two stacks of extra cards with dares and questions.

So far, everyone had a good chunk of cash and some nice properties. Clint wasn’t doing too badly with a couple of jacks; the gun and lead pipe from Clue; the green pac-man piece; and a purple unidentifiable melted game piece. Tony on the other hand only had a torn monopoly five, one “ghetto” property, and was just losing the red LIFE van he had purchased in an attempt to remain in the game.

“You have to be cheating!” Tony cried frustrated as the soldier took the piece and set it next to his stack of properties and the candlestick he picked up last turn.

“I have never cheated,” he replied keeping his voice level and smooth.

“You always roll a ten, eleven, or twelve!”

Shrugging he handed Natasha the cubes for her turn, “the dice just favour me.” She tossed them on the table without a thought or care, not even trying to show how uninterested she was in the game.

“TWELVE!” Tony cried flabbergasted and ruffled up his hair.

Clint laughed at him and then looked at the female assassin, frowning with concern and reached out to touch her. “Tash?”

She jumped at his voice and recoiled back from him a moment before catching herself and letting him take her hand. “Yes?” she cleared her throat weakly.

“Are you alright?”

“Yeah,” she lied tucking a few strands of hair behind her ear with her free fingers. “I’m fine.”

“Okay,” he nodded giving her hand a reassuring squeeze before letting it go, so that she could move her piece. She rolled again and got a three, moving those spaces and handed him the dice.

He blew on them and rolled: seven. He leaned forward carefully and moved his piece the correct number of spaces and landed on a wild square, formerly known as ‘Pennsylvania Railroad’.

“Purple or red?” Steve already had his hand in the box, prepped to shuffle and deal the uneven and crudely homemade truth or dare cards.

“Dare,” he gave the solider a moment to retrieve the purple deck and give it a quick mixing, before he reached forward to grab one. He flipped it over and read, “Pick two people to do the funky chicken before a non-playing member.” He looked up and pointed, “Steve and Tony.”

“AH! Pick Romanoff! You always pick us!” the scientist complained pathetically.

“Stop whining and come on,” Rogers said dragging him from the room, leaving Clint and Natasha alone.

They sat in awkward silence for a while, before Clint cleared his throat and said, “You’re not going to go follow them?”

“Do you want me to follow them?”

“No,” he confessed quickly. “I just thought, since I couldn’t go after them and see if they actually do it –”

“Captain Rogers will make sure that Tony follows through with the game.” She snipped at him, never once taking her eyes from the game board.

Clint bit his lip and sighed defeated. “Have I done something wrong?” he asked gently.

“No,”

“Then why won’t you look at me?” She pointedly stared at him for a few moments and then went back to looking at the board. “See!” he sighed laying back into his bed tired. “That’s what I mean.”

“What?” she demanded.

“That look.”

“What look?”

“That look you keep giving me. It’s as if you are trying not to hate me.”

“Oh please,” she rolled her eyes and sat back in her chair, crossing her arms and legs looking away from him.

“Tasha, don’t act like we haven’t been here before. The last time you gave me that look was when we first met and we tried to kill each other.”

“Yeah, well now I wish one of us would have done it!” she yelled standing up.

Clint felt as if she’d punched him in the chest. He blinked at her in disbelief, “you don’t mean that.”

She faltered for a moment, realising what she’d said, before letting one of the questions she’d been dying to ask him slip out: “Did you fuck him?”

“What?”

“Loki. Did you _fuck_ him? Is that why you are defending him?”

“Is that what all of this is about?”

“Oh, if only!” she growled and ran her fingers threw her hair and went to pace before the foot of the bed.

“Natasha, I said I would explain everything once he wakes up. It’s only fair.”

“Fair?” she stopped and laughed at him scornfully. “What do you know about things being fair?”

Clint suddenly felt as though he were back in Loki’s mind. What was he supposed to say to handle this case? It wasn’t as if he could get up and wrap her in his arms, and he knew she sure as hell wouldn’t come willingly into his if he asked. _Baby steps,_ he reminded himself as his chest ached. “Tasha, please,” he begged holding out his hand. “I _need_ you.”

“Don’t.” she warned and began pacing again. She hated when he did that. It wasn’t fake begging to get what he wanted, this was real. It was making her angry at herself. She was supposed to be angry at the villain in the next room.

“No, I will! You were the only one that believed I could redeem myself after I was brainwashed, just as I saw and believe that in you when we first met. I need you to see the same in him. I need you to believe in me again and help me help him. He’s not what you think.”

“You don’t even want to begin to know what I’m thinking,”

“He’s lost everything.”

“Maybe he deserves it,” she snipped stopping to glare at him.

Clint let his hand drop shocked. “No one deserves being tortured and abandoned. You of all people should know and understand that.”

“From what I’ve seen him do –”

“And you’ve been a saint your whole life?” he demanded now enraged at how petty and hypocritical she was being.

She took a threatening step closer. “I never brought a war to Earth.”

“But you’ve brought enough wars to enough countries and you’ve devastated and destroyed hundreds of lives. How could _I ever_ have thought you be the same or worse than him?”

Natasha moved forward and grabbed him by the collar bringing him a bit up off the bed. “I am nothing like him.” She hissed punching each word carefully and then threw him back onto the mattress. “Don’t ever try and compare me to that _monster_ again,” she warned and then stormed out the door without looking back at him.

Clint growled in frustration and rubbed at his face before letting his hands fall tiredly to his sides. He used his knee to knock the table away from his bed; the force of it rolling back spilled all of the pieces to the floor in a giant mess. He closed his eyes and let his mind relax, taking several deep breaths as he covered his face with his hands.

She had been like this since he woke up. Hell, maybe even longer with the way everyone acted around her. Natasha never hid things from him. They’d been friends since he spared her life and recruited her for S.H.I.E.L.D. years ago. Partners, teammates, the other’s pair of eyes on the field; he loved her deeply, like family – like a sister – the only other human being he had fully opened up too and bonded with, and she was giving him the cold shoulder and acting as if he’d just broken into her room and burned her hair off in the middle of the night without saying boo!

And the sudden questioning of his sex life? That wasn’t like her either. She might look, walk, and talk like a sex goddess, but anyone that really knew the two of them was aware that she never spoke much of it. It was a private thing she shared with few. Clint was the one that joked about it and made obscene comments at inappropriate times to anyone with ears. Whenever something had happened between him and someone, she would just look at him in sympathy or disapproval; she had never pressured him to talk about anything until he was ready. That was one of their golden rules. The hostility she had just presented him was half disheartening and half infuriating.

He knew things were not going to be easy, but it hadn’t really even been two days that he was fully conscious and she was being beyond stubborn. Earlier things were going so well too! Breakfast had been simple, and although she had been quiet and sat away from him and Steve, she was still there. Supportive and tolerating: just her old self. Suddenly she decided after dinner she didn’t want to try any longer? He didn’t know which he was frustrated at more: the fact that she was acting this way or the fact that he couldn’t walk without the support of someone to go after her and attempt to fix things.

A knock came at the door before it slid opened. “Hello?” came Banner’s voice timidly.

“You can come in,” he sighed as exhaustion hit him hard unexpectedly.

The doctor entered and looked at the mess, frowning at it for a moment before turning his undivided attention to his patient and friend. “I just wanted to make sure you were alright. My pager beeped and said your adrenaline and heart levels had shot up.” He gestured to the floor. “Tony being a sore loser?”

“No,” he shook his head and wet his lips. “I just…I just didn’t want to play anymore.”

Bruce took a moment to consider this and then quietly asked, “Natasha?”

Clint looked away ashamed. Where he is actions, which lead to him being bound to Loki, really something so horrible to upset her this way that everyone knew about the depth of it but him?

“Hey, don’t blame yourself…it’s not actually all your fault.” Banner stopped and then considered his words. “Actually, if what Thor says is true, none of it is your fault.” He gestured to the chair beside the bed. “May I?” Barton nodded and Bruce sat down. “I know things are hard right now. I know you have a lot of adjusting to do, a lot of healing, and a lot of things to sort out, but –”

“Everyone else does too, I know.”

He nodded. “I think once Loki wakes up and we figure out what has all happened; what that all means for both of you, it will help her, and the rest of us to understand and work things out and how we fit in.”

Clint bit back the words that rushed to his lips. The right and wrong words that could help his friend right this moment, but complicate things further for everyone else. Instead he opted for a different set of words, “Can I see him?”

Bruce turned away and let out a heavy sigh, rubbing his face. “I…I don’t think you should just yet.”

“Bruce,” he almost whined disappointed.

“Please don’t ask me again Clint.” He went to stand.

“Bruce!” he grabbed his arm and looked at him desperately. The hollow feeling in his chest burned horribly and it only intensified as the hours drew on. It made it hard for him to eat, to drink, to think, to breathe, to do anything! He hadn’t even been awake for a complete day and it was driving him crazy! It was also driving him crazy that he couldn’t even describe or tell anyone of this suffering. “All I need is to see his face…please?”

Banner relaxed a bit and mulled things over in his head. “I’ll…I’ll talk to Tony tonight. We’ll try and see for tomorrow, but only if nothing goes wrong between now and then. You have to show improvement.”

“Thank you,” he let go of his friend and let his hand drop back onto the bed. Bruce nodded and moved to clean up the game pieces. “You don’t have to do that,” Clint said quickly and tried to get up and help him.

“What are you going to do it?” he gave him a very paternal look as if to say, ‘stay where you are’ and then softened his features. “Look, it is better if I clean this up rather than you exert your energy needlessly. Just relax and get some rest. We’ll try walking again tomorrow after breakfast, okay?”

Clint nodded and turned his head off to the side. In a few short breaths he was out cold. Banner looked him over thoughtfully before he finished cleaning up. There was something he was holding back. Bruce could feel it. The other guy could as well. Whatever it was, Clint was scared. Bruce felt bad. How could he ever hope to truly make friends with him if Barton couldn’t even feel safe enough around him, or at least safe enough to confide in him? Perhaps it wasn’t just him. Maybe it was something involving Loki that he couldn’t put into words, or didn’t understand himself? Maybe he didn’t even know what he was feeling?

Bruce stopped himself and rubbed his face trying to control the flow of his thoughts. Maybe he was just overthinking things. He tended to do that often. Being a scientist was awful sometimes. Questioning the world and everything in it could be horribly overwhelming. He took a deep breath and set the last of the pieces into the box as Tony and Steve re-entered the room; pulling up short from their laughing and bickering at the sight before them.

“What he got tired of winning?” Tony raised an eyebrow strutting further into the room.

Bruce shook his head and smoothly lied, “he fell asleep waiting. You can play again tomorrow. Maybe then you’ll have a chance at rolling something more than a two or three.” He went toward the door and tapped Stark’s arm on the way out. “Come on, we have to talk.”

“Look, I wasn’t losing by chance; I was doing it on purpose! I felt sorry for the guy!” he went out after the gamma-radiologist.

Steve frowned and looked at the room. Noticing a few pieces under the bed, and the absence of a certain assassin, he put the missing facts into place and left the room. He turned, dimming the lights and closed the door softly before catching up with the other two. “Bruce, question.”

“Before you ask, the answer is probably yes, and she headed toward the kitchen.” He pointed and then turned back to Tony aiming that figure at him. “One: you’re cut off from the liquor cabinet, give me your key.”

“I made that cabinet!”

“Yeah, that’s nice. Want to try and remake it again or are you going to give me the key?”

“May I hear what option two is?”

“Surrender the key or the other guy opens the cabinet for me.”

Rogers peeled away from them, before it escalated further, and headed toward the direction Natasha had gone. He spotted her leaning against the island in the kitchen and jogged the rest of the way to her. She saw him and bolted further into the room.

“Natasha!” he called out as they raced around from room to room.

“I don’t want to talk about it!” she shouted a few seconds later after Steve had caught up with her and grabbed her arm.

“That was uncalled for,” Steve said. She pulled out of his grasp and headed into the next room. He followed her back into the kitchen and out onto their balcony. Yeah it could be called their balcony, they had spent so much time talking or just standing next to each other out there that no one ever really used it.

“Don’t lecture me!” she warned stopping halfway across the terrace and spun to glare menacingly at him.

“Would you tell me what happened at least?”

“He asked me what was wrong so I told him.”

“The whole thing?”

She stopped and chewed on her bottom lip. “No…”

“Okay…well you can’t blame him for asking, right?” he walked up behind her. “He’s your friend.”

“NO!” she spun and jabbed her finger into his chest. “He’s not my friend! He’s not the same! He’s not my Barton! He died a long time ago and something took over his body!” She yelled and then turned away from him and went to the railing, gripping it tightly and taking a few deep breaths to prevent herself from giving in and crying or going insane. Gah! She hated herself right now! How could she be so angry at him for changing when she herself was not the same person any longer? They all had changed…

“Your Barton?”

“My Barton wouldn’t keep things from me. He’d talk to me. He’d confide in me his problems. Whatever _that_ is, it’s covering them up.”

“Tasha…” he softly said coming up behind her and hesitantly put his arms around her, in case she flipped him over the edge again.

“Don’t ‘Tasha’ me!” she spat and then choked trying to keep her angry sobs down. She hated him! She hated herself, she hated Barton, she hated Fury, and she hated everyone. Everyone and most especially Loki! Natasha closed her eyes and couldn’t keep the agony, which his name brought to her, away. It made her chest swell up and ache as if someone had ripped her lungs out, leaving only her heart to try and feebly beat on its own.

“Have you thought that maybe the reason why he hasn’t said anything to you yet is because he knew you’d react this way or worse? He’s scared…”

She pressed her hand to her mouth and fell forward a bit, not fearing if she’d fall, for she knew that Steve would never let such a thing happen. She sagged in his arms and let him hold her tightly, whisper soothing words she didn’t even bother to listen too, and just drifted into her sadness. She was being tremendously selfish. She knew it. She knew it, and now that she’d confronted it and accepted it she hated herself and couldn’t find a way to apologise for it.

She had never been good at apologies. She remembered one time, she had nearly put a fellow agent’s life in danger, and instead of saying “I’m sorry” like any normal human being would, she introduced him to someone she knew around the office in hopes he’d use them as a booty call. It worked…for three days, but it worked and they made peace over it.

It felt like forever to her before she was well enough to regain control. She uncovered her face and found they were sitting, leaning against the railing, looking into the large glass windows of the ridiculously huge building Stark was trying to call: “The Avenger’s Mansion”.

Steve handed her a handkerchief without comment, and she gratefully took it and cleaned her face. She thanked him quietly, and then grabbed his arms, pulling them around her tighter and relaxed into him. Natasha could feel his heart pumping strongly against her back. It was strange compared to hers. She felt so small next to him, so weak, but she knew better. She’d fought men before, some twice the size of him, and all tough. She wasn’t weak…not weak physically anyways.

Yet when she was close to him, at night when they kept each other company from their memories or during the day when he’d surprise her with a hug, she found that she didn’t mind that reminder. She enjoyed the feeling of helplessness, the idea that he could shelter her from the bad. Natasha wasn’t even sure that it was fair she started fights with Tony or Thor for the sake of Steve running after her. Well…the ones with Thor probably were not, but Tony began most of the ones between them. No matter what stupid thing she said, what unfair remark she used against them, or expensive thing she broke as she left the room, Steve always followed her. He always made sure she was alright, first and foremost, then he would go and smooth things over with the others.

She, at one point, believed that he would stop doing it all together. She purposely picked at him, brought up things that stung him. She could see it in his eyes, feel it in the way he held her after she’d spoken, and heard it in the night when he thrashed and muttered in his sleep. She was cruel. This was a whole new low for her, and she couldn’t figure out why she wanted to push him away, yet at the same time hold him as close to her as humanly possible.

“Tell me a story…about Peggy…please?” she whispered knowing it was unfair to request such a thing and that talking about her sometimes hurt Steve; but he always told one, no matter what. There she went, being selfish again. _Another test_ , she tried reasoning. _If he does it..._ Then what? She’d make up with Barton? She had to stop herself from laughing at that idea. Yeah not that soon…

He took a deep breath rolled his shoulders in thought and then began, leaning his head down to whisper into her ear, casting her negative thoughts aside in that simple sensual move: “I was just a scrawny thing, and we had to climb a pole to retrieve the flag off the top of it.”

She let out a small chuckle. “You? Scrawny? Are those words allowed in the same sentence?”

“Well this was before Tony’s dad decided to make me super-hot.” They both laughed: Natasha’s full and carefree, and Steve fully enjoying the sound of her happiness.

\-------------------------------------------------

“I’m serious Tony!” Bruce yelled before walking through the door to Loki’s room. He went to the other side and managed to control his breathing before he turned to face him. “I’m not doing this to punish you. I’m doing this because I’m worried.”

“I didn’t die.”

“But you consumed far too much for a normal human.”

“I’m not normal,” he snapped in his condescendingly cocky fashion. “I’m Iron M –”

“Don’t!” Bruce turned away sick with exasperation. “Don’t start that crap! Thor had to carry you out of the room!”

“I was heavily intoxicated.”

“You were convulsing covered in sweat,”

“I was having a wet dream,”

Banner held up his hands making a face, “I know it’s not my business, but if you cry during sex you might want to see someone.”

Tony opened his mouth to reply but found nothing witty to say. He sighed and dropped into a chair rubbing at his face as he set his elbows on his knees. “It was just…a nightmare. That’s all.”

“I’m still putting a limit on your drinking.”

“Oh come on!” He whined dropping his hands and looking up at him.

“For Pepper’s sake!” Banner pleaded and went to sit in the chair next to him. “She called the other day. She hasn’t been able to get in touch with you since she mentioned she was coming to visit. You owe it to her to stay safe: from villains _and_ liver damage.”

Stark took a deep breath and nodded leaning back in the chair. “Fine…”

The gamma-specialist patted his shoulder, “good.” He took a moment and added, “Clint wants to visit.”

“Oh please Bruce!” Tony launched forward stalking to the middle of the room before turning to face him. “What are we going to tell him: look here lies your maybe husband? He is borderline hypothermic whose heart beat sometimes spikes to hypertension levels, then drops back to near flat line, and happens to be more than half percent toxic with a large mass in his intestines. He also convulses at random points of the day which is why someone has to be here all of the time. Sorry he can’t be awake, his brain functions are low and we can’t even bring him out of it, he has to –”

“Tony, breathe please.”

“You breathe!”

“I am,”

“Yeah, well so am I!”

Banner rolled his eyes and shifted in his seat to slouch further down. “I think it would be good.”

“You also said you thought he’d recover before Clint.”

“There is a part of me that is still human…I make mistakes…” he whispered quietly picking at the edge of one of the arm rests. “What are we scared of?”

“What?”

“What are we scared of? Why are we afraid to tell people the truth about his progress?”

Tony was silent for a moment. He looked the still form of the god over before answering; “because he hasn’t made progress.”

“A little,”

“Yeah a little but…” he let the rest of his breath go out slowly and looked down at the floor.

“If the connection Thor spoke of is true, and from what I’ve noticed with Clint’s behaviour recently…it might help speed the process up for both of them.”

“Give it a few more days?”

“Can we afford a few more days?”

Tony rubbed his chin and then sighed, “Half of me wishes we could have left him.”

“Really? All of the things you know about S.H.I.E.L.D. and the crap they’ve done, you can honestly say you’d really leave him in their hands?”

“No…I just hate that I feel for the guy…”

Banner nodded understandingly, “Thor tell you about the time he rescued an abandoned wolf cub and raised it in secret until he could turn it loose in the spring?”

“No, he told me about how Loki prayed and put others before himself.”

He stood and went to stand next to his friend, “maybe…he can be…” he shrugged, “y’know…redeemed…”

“Once evil, always evil,”

Banner laughed ruefully, “unless they’re me right?” They looked at each other and he continued, “I’m the only one who gets a second chance after becoming evil from an accident that was started with the best intentions.”

“Don’t put yourself on the same level as him,” Tony looked back down at Loki. “You’re nothing like him.”

“Monsters come in all shapes and sizes…” he whispered, “All looking for a place to fit in.”

Stark gritted his teeth together and headed for the door. “I’m going to call Pepper.”

Banner stood there staring down at the god. How could someone who sounded so…gentle manage to formulate a, albeit shitty unrealistic and poorly planned, scheme to destroy the world?

“Temperature level of patient L has dropped a point to eighty-nine point two degrees Fahrenheit, or thirty-one point seven-seven-seven Celsius. Heart rate still at fifty-two beats per minute. Oxygen levels normal. Medicinal bag marked fifty-three needs to be changed in twenty minutes. Belladonna Sleep solution levels now at sixty-eight percent within the body. Current location of largest mass solution in the upper left chest area, next to the shoulder joint. Brain functions low but emitting signs of distress, specifically physical. Recommend the use of a pain reliever soon.”

“What do you suggest this time? Morphine?”

“No, I would advise something a bit stronger.”

“How strong?”

JARVIS did not have to answer, for a second after he had asked the heart monitor began beeping and Loki seized violently on the bed; his muscles taut, his body shaking from the strain, and a low whining noise stuck in his throat. The room exploded with alarms and warning lights as Banner hurried to retrieve his tools and set up a piggyback bag.

“JARVIS! Turn it all off!” he growled as the other guy began roaring displeased inside of his mind.

The AI complied, giving Banner only a moment to get a hold of himself as he searched the cabinets for the stash of painkillers he’d placed earlier. Grabbing a few, he looked them over before tossing them off to the side until he spotted what he wanted. He quickly went over to Loki and stuck the medium sized bag on the hook next to the crystalloid one, threaded the tube through the pump machine, and carefully checked the god to make sure he’s main IV was still good.

“Jarvis, please note the time. I’m starting him off on a low dose, about 20 milligrams of Demerol being mixed with normal saline for the next hour and see how that goes.”

“Noted, sir.”

“Doing anything?”

“Nothing yet, sir; however, Clinton Barton’s temperature is rising and his heart rate has increased at a rapid rate.”

The Hulk was beginning to rage around inside of his mind, making his spine itch. “Don’t page anyone. Keep them from coming down here I’ve got them both,” he replied, grabbing another bag and raced for the other room. He ran in just in time to find Clint hunched over the side, gagging and gripping his left shoulder. “Barton?” he said pulling up a medical pan and giving it to him. “If you need to puke, don’t hold back. Just let it go.”

“I – can’t!” he choked squeezing his watery eyes shut. His face was as red as a tomato and he was sweating profusely. He hacked out a nasty sounding cough and inhaled with difficulty.

Bruce sighed finally making up his mind and muttered quickly, “This is stupid, you’re seeing him tomorrow. Screw what Tony says.”

“What?”

“Nothing, just focus on throwing up. It’ll make you feel better.”

“But –”

“Just do it!” Banner shouted, the other guy slipping through for a second. Clint paled and then finally up-chucked everything he had eaten for dinner into the plastic container. Bruce rubbed his shoulder in support and silent apology as he waited until the archer had finished. Once Barton had fallen back onto the bed with a groan, Bruce took the pan to the garbage shoot and dumped it before going into the bathroom to wet a cool cloth and get him a small cup of water. “Here,” he handed them over to the archer and then began setting up the other piggyback bag.

“Thanks,” he panted wiping his face and taking a drink.

“No problem,” he put the tube into the machine and set it up the same as what he had done for Loki.

“What is that?”

“Darvocet; I used it before to help wane you off of morphine. This will help with any pain you’re feeling.”

“How did you know I was in pain?”

Banner didn’t answer him; instead he went to the far side of the room and began mixing a syringe. “What are you doing?”

“Getting a small dose of Ativan set up. It’s a strong sedative. It’ll help you relax so you can get some sleep tonight.”

“Bruce, you didn’t answer me.”

“Yes I did,” he replied coming back over and stuck the syringe into the joint port on the IV in Clint’s arm. He slowly administered the drug, not looking at Clint. “This also, helps with psychosis but causes temporary amnesia.” He rambled uncomfortable with lying to someone still sick.

“How did you know I was in pain?”

“Finish your water.”

“Bruce,”

He cleared his throat, “Jarvis told me.”

“I made him swear not to tell you about that,”

Finally he looked at the worn out assassin before he took off his glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose. “Lucky guess…” he sighed and replaced his lenses before gathering his equipment and discarded the syringe in the garbage disposal.

“Is he alright?” Clint asked; his eyes fluttering as he fought to stay awake a little longer. He suddenly felt incredibly heavy, as if he were falling in reverse back to Loki’s mind.

“You’ll see him tomorrow,” Banner answered rubbing his chin, not turning to look at him. “Just keep this between us, okay?”

“Sure…” he breathed unable to combat the medicines any longer.

Banner wiped a hand across his forehead as he left the room and returned to Loki’s side.

“Patient L has stabilised to where his signs were before. Clinton Barton’s signs have returned to normal as well.”

“Thank you Jarvis,”

“No problem, sir. Is there anything else?”

“No…just updates as usual,” he flopped into the chair and removed his glasses to cover his eyes with his arm. He silently prayed for Loki’s recovery. The sooner that happened, the sooner things would be worked out, and he wouldn’t have to keep stressing out every time that machine missed a beep.

 _I don’t like it._ The other guy shifted in the back of his mind, still restless.

“I don’t either,”

_He is not worth this._

Banner looked at his dull reflection in the window and shook his head. “No…he is. Just like we are.”

The other guy gave a deep dark laugh. _Keep thinking that._

“I will…now…please leave me alone.”

 _I won’t be far…_ he whispered disappearing into the back corners of his mind.

“You never are…” Bruce picked at his lip and sat looking out the window, grateful for the silence and space within his own head to finally have a moment to himself.

\-------------------------------------------------

Coulson stood at the edge of the water and looked around. Several of his members were scanning and charting details about the area. A young raven haired woman approached him, “They weren’t here either.”

“No, they were,” he shook his head and looked along the horizon.

She frowned confused, “But the readings suggest –”

“Exactly,” he adjusted his sunglasses and looked at her. “Which is how we know they came this way,” he turned heading for the car. “I want someone in the air and everyone else on the ground. Get me a vehicle, please.”

“Where are you going?” Ali, a tall dark haired female with a ‘not-taking-any-bull-shit’ attitude, demanded following him. “We have no leads and –”

“You have orders. Follow them, and they’ll give you leads. Think objectively,” he caught a set of keys being tossed at him before he opened the door to an Audi TTS Roadster.

“But sir –” she protested.

“Morales,” he warned sternly, “I need you to just do what I’m asking.”

“Can you at least tell me where you are going so I can contact you?”

“No need, I’ll catch up.” He slid into the car and started it. Rolling down the window he added, “I love onions, mind picking me up some?”

“What?” But he was already speeding away from the group. With a loud frustrated growl she stomped her foot and turned to the others. “Get me a list of farms around the area! YOU!” She pointed to the shy girl who had spoken to Coulson before. “You’re with me! Someone contact Agent May; tell her to get in the air. Get Skye online and have her look for anything that might lead us in the direction of where they went. Surveillance footage, phone calls, internet forum topic claims of sightings – I don’t care what! Bring Wilson and Carter in on this too!”

“Yes, ma’am,” the team saluted, pulling out phones and laptops as Morales and the younger agent climbed into a midnight blue Azera. Ali started the car and sped off down the road. After several miles of driving in silence she glanced over at the female next to her.

“What is your name?”

“Smith.”

Ali looked at her again and then gave a small chuckle, “Alright, _Smith_ , do you come with a first name?”

She hesitated a moment before quietly answering, “Anna.”

“Fine,” she sighed and rested her elbow on the car door to run her fingers through her hair. “Keep your secrets for now, but know that I can only do so much to save your ass if you hide important things from me.”

“How do you know I’m hiding anything from you?”

“Because I once went by Anna Smith as well. Anyone in this company knows that if someone is trying to hide from their past, they start off as a ‘Smith’.” She glanced over at her and then rolled her eyes when she noticed she had upset the girl. “Don’t worry; I’m sure it’s not too bad. If you’ve killed someone, or stolen something, or ran away from home, no one will turn you in. Becoming an agent you get to start fresh.”

“And what happens if whatever you’ve done wrong follows you even after you’ve joined S.H.I.E.L.D.?”

“Well then kid, you better prove yourself as a damn good agent. They don’t cover people’s asses unless they’re worth it.”

She looked at the older woman to her left for a second before confessing, “my name is Valerie.”

“Got a last name?”

“Smith.”

Ali laughed, “Nice to meet you Valerie _Smith_. I’m Alisande Morales. I’m going to teach you how to be a superior agent. Lesson number one: don’t let them know you’re hiding something.” She turned on the radio and began turning the dial, “You like the classics?”

“I listen to Mozart,”

“Oh honey!” Ali chuckled and gave her a sympathetic look. “I’m talking about KISS and the Beatles. Lesson number two: loosen up sometimes. Not everyone is a tight ass like Nickie.”

“Nickie?”

“Fury. Him and I go back. Don’t call him that to his face though, he hates it.” She laughed again and turned up the volume as she sped along down the road singing _Panama_ by Van Halen at the top of her lungs.

\-------------------------------------------------

Natasha rolled over onto her side to face Steve. It was some unforgiving hour of the morning and she was driving herself crazy thinking. Tossing and turning didn’t help; getting up and walking around hadn’t done the trick; and even turning on the TV to find an old show or pointless cheesy Spanish romance drama couldn't distract her. Her mind was in overload, the main subject was set to _feel_.

How did she feel about this? How did she feel about that? How did that make her feel? How did this cause her to feel those things? How could she have ever looked over that making her feel such a way? She was going to end up losing it!

She sat up and then laid back down again. It was useless to leave the room; Steve would just wake up and find her. He always did. _Steven…_

Natasha took a deep breath and let the air out slowly as she scratched her head. How did she… “Oh fuck it!” she hissed quietly and flung the covers off, getting up and going to the window. She put one of her hands on her hips and used the other to move aside one of the large white blinds. She stared hard at the buildings and her own faint image reflecting back at her. She needed to get over all of this. She wasn’t a child. She was supposed to be a very well-trained assassin. All great killers knew not to let their emotions get in the way. Then why had she suddenly decided to let them out?

It was when she had gotten rid of her ledger. After New York she had taken some time off to revisit certain places in her life. She’d come back with far too many demons than what she’d left with. Ghost towns; skeletons from long ago that were never buried; villages that were once peaceful tearing themselves to tiny pieces; the orphans and innocents that had gotten in the way of her missions….they haunted her. She realised, as she’d sat outside of a small Italian coffee shop and watched one of the victims of her former ways go about his daily life, that there was something she’d taken from each of them that she could never give back. She had saved this one yes, but there was sadness in his eyes. No matter how bright his smile or how warm and welcoming he was to his guests, behind his eyes there was a hollowed space that knew the truth of the world. He had to live with an unwanted pain. Had to put up a mask, pretend life was alright, or suffer madness and lose everything. Knowing she’d exposed him, and many others, to such terrors made her sick. Alive or dead, she had done more damage to the world than Loki had done in that afternoon, and that’s what broke everything.

That was it. That revelation and acceptance of her deeds had sent her spiralling into this insane tornado. She was sorry. She would forever be, but she knew she’d never be forgiven. Even if every life her actions had affected were to pass on, it was the left over bits: the stories, the scars in the earth, the empty crumbled ruins; those were things she could never sponge from history. People’s words, their tales, their lives were passed around the world. Spoken only in hushed tones or carried in the heart from generation to generation, she could never hope to erase her crimes. Even a billion good actions done now would never tip the scales and keep them balanced.

That was what bothered her. Even though she hadn’t brought an alien race to destroy a city, even though she hadn’t killed, brainwashed, or maimed people like he had, Loki was still innocent compared to her. Still a better…being, no matter how horrible his actions were.

Natasha shivered and wrapped her arms around her, unable to look at her dim reflection any longer, and returned to the bed. She slipped under the covers easily and looked over at Steve’s sleeping form. His pale lashes just barely brushed his cheeks and his breathing was deep but uneven. As relaxed as he looked in sleep there were still subtle signs of his internal distress. The memories that haunted him at every hour: the war, the innocents, his friends, the crash… _her_ …

What did he feel about all of this?

 _Think_ , she reminded herself. _Thinking is safer than feeling._ Wasn't it?

Whatever he felt or thought about her, good or bad, he still put her before his own needs. Whatever he felt or thought about Loki he never let it get in between his sense of duty and his personal morals. He knew the god was bad, but he knew that torture was wrong. She didn’t care, torture was part of her life, but to someone as…kind and…so…Steven radiated justice and freedom. Freedom from oppression, from hatred, from the self, from the past…

She softly sighed and forced her mind to still. It worked for a few minutes before the wheels began spinning and she found herself thinking about Clint. What she had done was wrong. She shouldn’t have exploded on him like that. Barton was her nearest and…well only friend. Although she strongly believed friends did not keep things from each other, he had never pushed her in such a way over things he was curious about her. He let her talk in her own time, just as she had once done for him. She had to make things right between them. How? She hadn’t a clue but she would come up with something. Her basic instincts told her to let him be for a few days. They both needed to cool off and she had…

 _What? Feelings to figure out?_ She scoffed and rolled her eyes at herself. They settled back on the captain and her heart gave a small flutter. Yes…she had that to work out…

Reaching out, she let her fingers trace the side of his face gently. His hand reached up and caught hers. “Can’t sleep?” he asked, voice groggy and rough as he cracked his eyes a bit to see her in the dim light.

“As usual,” she replied and didn’t resist when he pulled her close, wrapping her in his arms. Her breath quickened as she felt his heart beat through the thin material of the dark blue sleeveless undershirt he always wore to bed. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“I’ve been up for a while…I just didn’t want to move,” he yawned against her temple. “What’s on your mind?”

Natasha suddenly became very aware of his body and how close they were. This wasn’t the first time today she’d notice herself reacting strangely to him. She frowned analysing her…feelings. Scared. Shy. Nervous. That wasn’t right. They had been sharing the same bed for several nights, waking and comforting each other when their dreams turned into nightmares, calming the other when sleep evaded them… She shouldn’t be feeling this way…or she should at least have known things would end up this way.

He looked down at her worried, “Tasha?”

“My name isn’t Natasha,” she blurted without thinking and pressed her fingers to her lips grimacing. She really needed to not talk to him when she was this preoccupied and not in control of her mouth.

Steve realised she must have been having another memory episode. He nodded slowly and encouragingly questioned, “Alright…what is it?”

“Natalia,” she squeezed her fist against her chest feeling stupid, but knew she had to get it out. “I was born Natalia Romanova.”

“Do you want to go for a walk and talk this out?”

“No!” she yelled flinching and then quieted her voice, “No, it’s not…it’s not a flashback…it’s…me…” she ended pathetically and then pushed herself away from him and sat at the edge of the bed, scrubbing at her hair frustrated. _Here it goes!_ She snapped angrily at herself. _Being crazy and selfish again! This is a magnificent record. How many weeks now?_

“Tasha?” She felt him shift and guessed he was sitting up now wide awake. The side light snapped on signalling that he was up for good now. Typical of her new behaviour: if she couldn’t sleep, no one around her could. If she couldn’t be happy, everyone else had to suffer.

“I…” she bit her lip, glancing at him over her shoulder before looking down, “I want you to call me that…when it’s just the two of us…and…we’re alone…”

Steve nodded this time with a small supportive smile, “That is a reasonable request. If you want that, I think I can manage.” He noticed there was something more she wasn’t saying. Her shoulders where drawn in a bit and she was rubbing her arm as if she were nervous or aggravated. “Natas-alia,” he quickly corrected and then moved a bit closer to her. “Hey,” he said leaning forward a bit to try and see her face. “It’s me. You can tell me any–”

“Do you find me attractive?” she looked at him seriously.

“–thing…” he trailed off and then cleared his throat, caught off guard a bit, “pardon?”

“Do you find me attractive?”

“Yes, but I don’t se–”

Natasha took a chance. If it ruined everything, then she’d have nothing and could start from scratch…and probably be bitter and angry forever. If it worked…then maybe…

She felt her lips connect with his. Steve’s entire body froze for a second, his hands nervously twitching as his brain slowly restarted. He felt himself inhale and didn’t realise he’d been holding his breath. He relaxed and slid his hand into her hair. It was…gentle…hesitant yet open.

They pulled away from each other slowly; his hand brushing teasingly down her back and her own hand, which she hadn’t notice move, smoothed from his chin to his chest and away. She looked up at him, half of her body screaming to run away and the other too scared to. His eyes were half closed and he was studying her.

“Nata…lia…” he breathed remember her request. His heart began beating faster when he saw her lips give a small curve.

“Do you?” Her voice sounded shy but her eyes were confident. Determined. Powerful. Hypnotising. Everything he’d been waiting to see since the moment they’d met up again. Those eyes were the ones he remembered seeing when they were on the deck before the ship took to the sky. Those eyes were wild. They were sure. They were haunted. They were dazzling. Even when her body screamed, “ _Stay away, I’ll kill you_ ”, her eyes whispered, “ _Come closer. Listen to my story. Hear me. Feel me_ ”.

Steve leaned forward and kissed her; this time he made it count. This time she was the one caught off guard. This time, she was the one whose breath stuck in her throat, whose hands moved unsure as to what to do because her brain had switched off. This time he wouldn’t let her go.

She moved her hands up and placed them on his shoulders. He let his run down to her waist and pulled her closer to him. Falling back towards the middle of the bed, they broke apart for a second to look at one another: _You sure?_

_Sure._

_Yes._

Their lips tentatively touched again.

_Come closer._

_I’m here._

Their hands hesitantly began exploring.

_Listen to my story._

_Speak to me._

They moved urgently against one another.

_Hear me._

_I’ll always listen._

They stripped each other bare; mapped one another with moans and kisses; branded their names a thousand times into their hearts with their tongues; and covered themselves with the other’s soft touch.

_Feel me._

“Natalia…”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also forgive spelling errors, I was speed editing this to try and get this to you all as fast as I possibly could. If there is something super wonky please let me know, I'll fix it quickly. Thanks again! You all are so wonderful for being so patient with me. I'm still so sorry!


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just as I promised! Two chapters in one week! Whew that was hard! And the result has become very different then what it started out to be...interesting...
> 
> As always Marvel owns the names of characters and places and things; I merely borrow to create this. All mistakes are my own fault and I hope you all enjoy it.

 

 

\----------------------13----------------------

Natasha had just finished pouring herself a glass of orange juice when Steve walked into the tiny private kitchen wearing only a towel around his waist and the usual bright smile he had every morning.

“Morning,” he cheered rubbing his hair out into one of the smaller towels.

She quickly turned around, “Morning.”

He stopped and looked her over. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah,” she said clearing her throat. “I’m great.”

Steve took a step closer concerned. “Your face is red.”

“No it’s not.”

“Yes it is.”

“I’m turned away from you, how can you possibly see it!?” she shouted, awkwardly waving her arms. Her hand knocked the glass, but she managed to grab it before it could fall completely over, however some juice splashed onto the counter. She fumbled around trying to find a kitchen towel or a napkin, all the while keeping her gaze averted from his direction.

He smiled, pride and adoration swelling within his chest. “You’re cute when you’re embarrassed.”

“I am not embarrassed.” She stated pointedly and patted the counter dry with the bright yellow washcloth she’d found in the sink.

“Oh yeah? Look at me then.”

Natasha sighed and turned, keeping her eyes fixed upon his. Her face was its usual stony look of tolerance; however, she couldn’t hold it for long. Her skin flushed to a rosy shade and she looked away, rubbing at her nose.

“See.” He said, smile growing bigger.

“I have a cold.”

“We can’t get sick,”

“You might not. I’m not a super soldier I’m a Red Room experiment.”

“A foxy Red Room gal,” he said walking up to her. She was adorable, even though she could kill him in a blink, she was still cute. “You’re embarrassed,” he confirmed and put his hands on her upper arms. The way she stiffened under his touch made him stop and reconsider his words. He let her go and took a step back. She folded her arms across her chest and continued to stare at the floor. His heart sank a little, “It’s last night.” She didn’t say anything, which only caused his heart to sink further. “You’re upset about it.”

“I’m not upset about it.”

“You regret it?” She didn’t answer him again. He sighed and began for the bedroom. “I’ll get my things.”

“What?” she looked up at his back anxiously and then noticed the markings on it. She blushed, guiltily pleased with herself, and looked down at her juice. She cleared her throat, “Why would you do that?”

He turned back to her. “Well…isn’t that how these things happen?”

“What things?”

“One-night stands?” he saw a ripple of some foreign emotion cross her face. He wondered if that was the wrong word to use.

“Is that what it was?” she asked quietly.

“Was it?”

She ran her fingers through her hair and turned her back to him, walking to the fridge to put away the juice carton frustrated.

He didn’t know what to do. He needed her to talk to him. “Natalia?”

She froze. She was stuck staring at a tub of strawberry cream cheese, for several agonisingly long seconds, unsure of how to even begin with that was going on inside of her, before whispering, “no…”

Steve sighed with relief, letting the tension in his shoulders go. “Alright, good.” He nodded rubbing his chin, as that relief and small bit of confidence he’d gained bled away. “But you’re still upset.”

“I’m not upset,” she said simply and shut the doors to lean against them looking at her feet.

“Then what is it?”

“I…” she hesitated and then shrugged.

“How about this, I go put some pants on, you gather your thoughts and then we’ll talk about it, alright?”

Natasha knew if he left she wouldn’t have the courage to tell him how she felt. “I’m sorry.”

He frowned, “For?”

“For it.”

“It?” Natasha didn’t answer; she merely continued to gaze at her cute fuzzy red socks. He realised then what she was talking about. “Why are you apologising for it? It was…” he shrugged, ignoring the heat rising to his face, and honestly replied, “Excuse my language but _it_ was damn good.”

“But _it_ wasn’t fair of me to put you in a situation like that. I know we’re both two consenting adults, but…I just…” _Feel_ …the word echoed inside of her mind making her close her mouth. The sound of her teeth snapping loudly helped her focus and kept down the rising fear that she found both childish and unsettling.

He walked up to her, “Are you gathering your thoughts or are you practicing your stealth skills?”

“Standing in front of a fridge unmoving does not constitute as a stealth skill.” She replied crossing her arms before her.

“Would you like me to make you something?”

“No thank you. I’m not hungry.”

“Alright,” he said leaning against the counter, keeping his distance respectively, and although she was grateful for that, she felt more nervous with the space. Though she knew she’d probably lose it if the precious three foot distance between them shrank.

“Was it what happened last night?” he tried again, half fearful of the answer and half hopeful.

“Yes and no,” she finally looked up at him. “I’m…I’ve never apologised for something like this before. It’s kind of…”

“New?”

“Yeah,” she gave a small appreciative smile. She never really had to explain everything to him, Steve just always knew what was on her mind. He always knew and never judged her for it. Her heart gave an unfamiliar jump and she swallowed trying to keep her thoughts practical.

“Would you please tell me the real reason? The Black Widow doesn’t strike me as the type to be shy about her body.”

“No, I’m not. I just believe it is a personal0 matter that not everyone should know about,” she tucked some hair behind her ear and switched to holding her left arm, hugging herself tightly for comfort. “But you’re different. Normally I wouldn’t think twice about it all, but…you’re,” she paused searching for the right words. She felt horrifically exposed. “You’re the only one that’s…seen me.” Natasha looked up at him and then realised how pathetically stupid she sounded. She put her hand to her forehead and sighed staring back at her feet, “Never mind, I’m not making any sense.”

 “Can I say something?” She looked at him signalling permission for him to speak. “Nat, I like you.” She looked away and swallowed again, crossing her arms before herself once more. She was trying to keep him out and he wasn’t going to let her. He realised what this was about now and he almost wanted to slap himself for not talking with her sooner. “I like you a lot. I hope I’ve made that obvious, but I’m kind of –”

“Old fashioned?” she interrupted as the small rebellious part of her, which still clung to wanting to open up to him, suddenly realised how dense she was being. The long walks; every time he went after her to make sure she was alright; the arcade trips; the movies; and every time he wanted to learn something new he’d come rushing to her. He trusted her. He trusted her and he…

“Yeah,” he said simply holding out his hand, which she gave to him with a sliver of reluctance. He was going to have to ease into the subject slowly. “Why are you pushing me away?”

“I’m not,”

“You always tell me everything. Now you’re being cryptic. I’m only good at puzzles you get from a box.” That got a smile out of her. As small as it was, he knew it was time. “This is about Peggy.”

She stiffened slightly and nodded. “Do you love her?”

He shrugged taking a small step closer. “I care for her. There will always be a part of me that cares for her, but I’ve done a lot of thinking and I don’t want to live in the past. I want to move on. I _have_ to move on. She’d want me too.”

“Would she?”

Steve smiled fondly, “Yeah. She said you’re beautiful and if I didn’t take you out to a proper dance soon she’d send someone to kick my ass.”

Natasha jerked her hand out of his and stared at him through cautiously squinted eyes. “Excuse me?”

“Well, she didn’t say ass until after the third time she had made that threat, but I’m not going to risk it. She’s a pretty stubborn gal.”

“No,” she shook her head and pointed her finger at him confused. “How – how have you –”

“Oh,” he shrugged again and rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, “well Tony showed me how to work a computer not long after we saved New York. I went to visit her and we talked things over. We keep in touch on the phone and through emails, but we both prefer the phone. I…I tell her about things that are going on with my life. Tony said I could keep in touch with her, even though we’re not supposed to right now.”

“I’m a part of your life?” she said more to herself than to him. She had never really been a part of anyone’s life. Well, accept for Clint, but he was different. All of her former sexual encounters and even husband had never really felt a part of her life. Always distant and always secretive: a kind of ‘don’t trust anyone or suffer a knife in your back’ kind of thing. Then again, most of what she thought was her life where false memories, but even the real ones were isolating. There had never been room for anyone except Clint in her life and she felt she had never had room in anyone else’s but his.

“Yes,” he reassured her. Steve took her hands and looking her dead in the eyes, he gave her his most seriously honest face. “Natalia Romanova I like you a lot.” Her heart rate quickened. “Maybe a little more than like or a lot,” he finished quietly and tried to supress a smile.

“I’m so stupid,” she whispered still a little amazed.

“You’re not stupid,” he said firmly and frowned a little upset. “You have been going through a lot and this wasn’t a main priority for you to focus on.”

She pulled him forward quickly, griped his shoulders and sternly warned, “What have I told you about making excuses for my unstable irrational behaviour?”

Steve knew the smile she wore mirrored his own as he wrapped his arms around her and leaned down to whisper against her lips, “maybe I like encouraging it?”

She slapped his arm playfully before accepting his kiss. Yes, this was where she wanted to be. This serene feeling that flowed over her, the warmth tingling just under her skin, the excitement…this was what she’d been searching for since New York.

He ran his hands down her sides as he slowly pulled back to look down at her again. “I should get dressed.”

“Okay,” she said, large grin never leaving her face as she slipped from his grasp and began walking to the bedroom. “I was thinking I should put my suit back. I _was_ going to practice with Thor, but…”

“Was?” he half-turned and watched her curiously.

“Yes,” she laughed looking over her shoulder and held her hand up to reveal a large white towel in her possession. “I was.”

Steve glanced down and gave a surprised shout as his hands flew to cover himself once he realised what she’d done. Damn she was good! How did he not notice that!? He looked back up in time to see her proud victory face before she disappeared into the bedroom. Well, she was a master assassin after all…

“Oh,” he said as her words finally sunk in. “Oh. Oh!” he raced quickly after her. Damn she was good!

\-------------------------------------------------

He leaned against Banner as they made the short distance down the hall to the next room. It was a little further than expected from door to door, but Bruce had explained that was for privacy reasons and mainly because Tony could design but not 100% of what he did was functional or made any sense half of the time.

Clint was almost starting to regret his stubbornness at refusing to be wheeled around in a chair. He felt twice as weak and on the verge of collapsing, but the hope of seeing Loki – actually seeing his physical form – made him carry on. It turned his stone legs into clouds and made his heart beat quicken with excited anticipation.

“Now before we go in,” Bruce began once they had made it to the door. “I need to warn you.”

The tone in the doctor’s voice made Barton’s spirit sink a little. “What?” he frowned concerned.

Opening his mouth several times, he tried searching for the right words, and finally shook his head giving up. “I don’t think there is anything I can say…let’s just go in.” He keyed opened the door and helped the archer over the threshold.

Clint shivered as they stepped into the chilly room and looked around. It was an almost mirror image of his medical room: the exception being two large comfy chairs replacing the table and three small chairs that stood in his. He spotted the still form swaddled within blankets and sighed with relief. He stumbled out of Bruce’s arms and made his way clumsily toward the god. “Loki,” he breathed elated and sat at the edge of the bed, brushing a bit of frizzy hair out of his pale face. He didn’t look the way he had in Clint’s mind, but the god looked so much better than when he had last seen the trickster in the world of living. Almost as good as the night when he had landed on Earth and took Clint’s free-will away. Well that wasn’t good, but compared to what he had been? At this point, anything was better than that.

“He’s not awake…yet. We started giving him Boosting Packs the other day. To speed up the process,” Banner explained nervously watching him.

Barton shook his head, “he’s fine.” He let his hand rest against Loki’s cold cheek. “I can feel it.”

“Okay…” he considered this slowly and then walked a few more steps toward the odd pair. “Is…is there something you know that I don’t? Something that could maybe help me help him?”

Clint faltered with his response for a second. “I…there might be something…I…I don’t know how to…” he sighed and rubbed his face. “I think it’s better to talk about it once he’s awake?”

“Okay,” Bruce nodded, respecting their privacy, and went to the opposite side of the room to retrieve a green coloured package. “Since we started giving him these medical packs, his signs have improved a bit. I expected him to recover just as quickly, but it seems his system isn’t flushing the formula out like yours did.”

“That’s because he’s converting it.”

The gamma-specialist stopped and gave him a calculating mildly confused look, “He’s…what?”

 “Converting, conserving,” he shrugged. “He’s turning it into energy…”

“Energy for…?”

The archer frowned down at the god as if he were listening to something. “Magic…?” he whispered unsure. “When I was in his mind, he said that magic resides in everything.”

“Like the force?”

“Yeah, that’s what I asked. He doesn’t understand that reference, but if it is, then he can use the pack to help convert the serum into magic faster, which is what he uses for…well magical…stuff.”

“Makes sense,” Bruce agreed and instead of feeling worried, exhausted, or any other form of stress he had been suffering recently, he suddenly felt relieved, unburdened, and hell maybe even a little happy. Loki wasn’t going to die! He could confidently tell Thor he was doing better, he wouldn’t have someone else’s death hanging over his head, and maybe he could finally get more than three hours of sleep at a time. He sat down in a chair and rubbed his face slowly, letting his mind calm down. Damn this past month had been hell! The other guy was pleased over the news as well.

“Can you tell how soon he’ll recover?”

Barton laughed. “No, doc. I am not a magician myself.”

“Oh good,” he laughed as well. “Wouldn’t want you to start converting strange toxins to make yourself sparkle and poof around the world, now would we?” They both chuckled, the tension in the room easing significantly. Banner collected himself and stood after a time. “I’m going to let Thor and Stark know about this. I’ll leave you two alone?” Clint nodded. Bruce hesitated for a moment, “If…if anything bad happens…don’t panic. Just…wait until one of us get here, okay?”

Clint gave him a curious look but the gamma-specialist turned and left without saying anything else. As the door closed behind him, Barton leaned forward and hesitantly pressed his lips to the god’s forehead for a quick second. It was as if a cool balm had been rubbed over his chest to dull the fiery sting. It felt…not wonderful, but…enough. Like he had found a missing piece, but couldn’t figure out where it fit yet. Like the ache of a deep bruise.

He looked Loki over again, this time taking notes: he appeared a little under feed, his eyes still had darkened circles around them, and he seemed paler. Nothing a proper meal and some good rest couldn’t cure. And his hair was…well not smooth or what he had expected. It was slightly curly, and looked to have so much more volume than he could have ever guessed.

He smiled and brushed his fingers through Loki’s hair once more before letting his hand rest on the god’s chest, feeling his heart beating; slowly but steadily. He wasn’t a hundred percent, but he was much better than what he was before and it pleased Clint.

\-------------------------------------------------

They were in the living room watching cartoons; Thor eating from a box of poptarts and Tony from a bottle of Jack. Both had their eyes glued to the screen unblinking; their mechanical motions of consuming food set to autopilot. Banner walked in and stood at the archway for a few moments, watching Tom and Jerry fight back and forth across the screen in exaggerated silliness. The God of Thunder had expressed his strong love for the two characters and the show, so it was a rule that the TV was always turned to Boomerang when he was up and about.

“Hey,” Tony said not breaking eye contact from the TV as he took another swig of his breakfast.

“Greetings!” Thor managed to boom over a mouthful of the cherry pastries without blasting crumbs all over the place.

“Hello,” Bruce waved and took a few steps into the room unable to control the smile on his face. He waited until the episode had ended before he spoke up again. “So…Clint went for a walk today…”

“I am glad he is regaining his strength, Bruce!” Thor thundered happily throwing the empty box on the floor near his feet and leaned back into the couch satisfied. Old habits were hard to break…

“As am I,” he agreed and then looked at Stark. “He went to Loki’s room too.”

The genius’s eyes slowly widened as the words settled in. “He what?” he asked sitting up fully focused on the conversation, bottle finding its way gently to the coffee table.

“He went for a walk today, and we stopped off at Loki’s room.”

“How does my brother fair?” the god smiled knowing that every report they had given him when he had asked only continued to provide good news.

“Thor, about that –” Tony began and bit his lip worried that his new giant TV would be smashed soon.

“Yes, about that,” Bruce grinned putting on his glasses and stuffed his hands in his pockets as he rocked back and forth on his feet. “He’s doing well.”

“–bad – excuse me?” Stark looked as if he’d been slapped.

“The ‘Boosting Packs’ are working. The excess chemicals are being converted into obtainable usable energy.” He’s relief made his smile widen as felt the last little bit of weight lift away. “He’s recycling!”

“Wonderful!” Thor jumped up and grabbed his friend in a tight embrace. “Oh! Thank you! Thank you my friends!” he turned and scooped Tony’s stunned form off the couch and gave him a crushing hug as well. “I am forever in your debt! You have my gratitude!” He let the mechanical wonder go and turned to Banner as an eager child would, waiting for their birthday or Christmas to come. “Might I see him?”

Banner nodded holding a finger up, as a father would to lecture his son gently, before the god could storm off. “He’s not awake yet, so you cannot be loud. Be gentle, still, and no picking either of them up.” Thor nodded understandingly and quickly left.

“You want to tell me what’s up?” Stark’s sassy tone indicated his attitude was still sour and not yet ripe enough for the morning.

He shrugged. “I have.”

“So what, Clint waltzes in the room and suddenly everything was fixed?”

“No,” he shook his head and then sat down. “I don’t understand it, but…” he sighed and looked at his friend. “It might…”

Tony searched his face and then looked away realising what the other was about to say. “So it is true?”

“Yeah…just as we thought on the Helicarrier…just as Thor confirmed…it’s true…I saw some of it last night.”

“What?”

“Loki had another seizure and this time it affected Clint.”

“What do you mean?”

“Things went flashy, I put him on Demerol, JARVIS said Clint was having problems, I went over, he puked them up, and I gave him the same medication and an anti-anxiety to calm him out so he could sleep.”

“That doesn’t mean –”

“JARVIS never told me Clint was in pain. He _did_ tell me that some of the solution was in Loki’s left shoulder area, and when I went over there Clint was holding that spot. I checked this morning and there is a bruise. I didn’t point it out, because I didn’t want him know that we are aware of the connection. That is something he needs to tell us on his own.”

Tony exhaled and rubbed his face, snatching up his allotted bottle for the day and took a swig before leaning back into the cushions, “Nose-goes on telling Romanoff the news.” Their fingers flew to their noses quickly.

“Bet Steve will tell her,” Bruce looked at Tony.

“Bet he will and then won’t get laid,” he looked at Banner and they both busted out into childish giggles, fingers still covering their noses.

\-------------------------------------------------

Loki sighed content and settled onto the grass as the clouds overhead darkened. He felt the whispers of words drift across the back of his mind and knew that Clint was close. He sighed again, this time irritated. He should have woken up by now.

Looking down at his hand he conjured a flame within his mind. Normally it would have shown pure acidic green, but the deep violet and red flashes that flickered at his fingertips were a good indication that the solution was still too heavily concentrated within his system, therefore hindering most of his capabilities.

He looked at the sky again and let the coldness of the outside world seep into his bones. Was it worth it all? Would risking his life and keeping Clint safe during this whole ordeal make up for all that he had done?

 _Don’t be stupid_. He reminded himself harshly. _Of course it is. He said he wanted…more._ Whether that ‘more’ Clint had said meant the same as what Loki wanted it too was still unclear, but the feeling the archer had let him sample was enough to convince him to keep fighting.

 _Are you certain…?_ A deep voice, that made his skin crawl, slithered into his thoughts.

 _Yes,_ he closed his eyes and tried to tune it out. It did not belong to him. It was the voice from the edges of the universe; a darkness that crept along Yggdrasil’s branches, scavenging for any who had become lost in the shadows. Someone they could devour…slowly…

_There is no amount of penitence you could possibly scrap together in order to truly make up for everything that you have done._

_No._ He frowned determined to win this fight.

_Yes. No matter how desperately you try and cling, clawing at the frail little strings of sentimentality, which we both know you are incapable of, you will never reach it. You are a monster._

_No!_

_A base creature not even worthy of your own kin’s affections. Your sire would rather you dead than breathing._

_Stop it._ He begged and covered his ears.

_You were taken only as a companion for the Gold Prince, a whipping boy, another toy to hold his attentions. Once he was on the throne, Odin would have sold you or kept you to breed with more of his beasts. You served him so well before…whoring yourself over a silly fence._

_I did that to save Asgard! I was protecting my kind._

You _are not their kind._ They _would protect their kind. Not threaten to kill one of their own if they did not fix a mistake they had created. Their kind couldn’t create such monsters._

_Sleipnir might have been an accident, but he has served Odin and Asgard well._

_Just as the others?_

_They have their meaning and purpose for all of the realms, just as everyone else does._

_Yet once you returned Odin knew you had fallen to where he tried to keep you from…fallen to what you had been born to, that you could not escape…a monster…_

_No, it was not like that. They were made to serve and save Asgard…I was protecting my home…I was trying to do right._

_Monsters bred from a monster…_

“I am no monster,” he whispered angrily.

_All accidents…just as you…_

_No!_

_Demons! You unleashed evil upon these realms._

_They are not evil._

_Evil breeds evil…_

_I am not evil!_

_Monster!_ It yelled.

_Stop it!_

_Heartless…_ it whispered across his mind. _Just like every other Jötunn…_

“No…” he squeezed his eyes shut and felt tears seep out of the corners of them. The parasitic entity snickered with glee over his distress. He wet his lips remembering Clint’s words: _Promise me you’ll stop hurting and doubting yourself. Promise me you’ll fight this battle with me._

“I promise…” he whispered and sat up feeling warmth spread across his chest and kept reminding himself he wasn’t alone.

 _Get down were you belong._ It ordered.

“No,”

_You disobedient scum of the realms! We will make you suffer!_

“Then make me!” he challenged standing up. “I’m tired of being afraid of you.”

_And you think this mortal will stay true to you?_

“Yes.”

_Yet you did not give him a choice. You lied to him. Both of you being bound together in spirit does not hold him in any way to having to stay with you._

Loki faltered for a moment, “he said he wanted to.”

_Do you think he really would if he knew he had a choice?_

“Yes,” he glared at the dark shadow that had now taken shape and loomed before him. “Everything happens for a reason.”

_We dare you to tell him when you wake…we dare you to reveal the lies you live upon._

“Very well,” he swallowed and crossed his arms before his chest defiantly.

The shadow laughed, countless voices mocking him in a million tongues. S _uch cowardice…such reckless disregard for another being’s life. So selfish….so childish and pathetic we see you to be._

Loki closed his eyes again and took a deep breath. “I understand that I am low and that my value cannot be compared to even a crust of mouldy bread…however…” he sighed and looked at the clouds overhead, as they continued to turn muddy and heavy with the promise of a storm. “…however…I…I want to try.”

_Do you? Do you truly?_

“I need too!” he yelled taking a step forward and stopped, licking his lips and running a hand through his hair, turning away from the entity. “I need too…for Clint…for Thor, for my mother, for…myself…” he choked on the last words.

The sky slowly released tiny sprinkles; no thunder to shake or lightning to streak across the heavens; this was his mind, and such jeering or terrifying symbols were not permitted. He let it wash over him, allowing the rain to shift into large drops that soaked his clothes, cooled his skin and made him shiver all over.

Another whisper rolled across his mind, this one soothing and softer. There was a brush of warm fingers against his forehead and then a comforting pressure over his heart. Loki inhaled deeply and expelled a shuttering breath, letting the heavy weight of time and space settling into him. He was more than ready to wake up. Loki could do this…he would prove Odin and all of Asgard wrong. He would prove all the realms wrong.

“I have erred in the past…but I have made promises to ones I hold dear…and I will keep these and honour them,”

_We shall see…_

“I promise…” he whispered closing his eyes again, and with that vow, he let the waters rise over him, sweeping him off into the darkness of the nothing.

\-------------------------------------------------

The door opened to reveal a small boy with glasses gazing curiously up at him.

“Hello, I am Phil Coulson. I’m here to speak with the professor, is he in?”

The child stepped to the side and pointed into the lobby.

“Thank you,” he said entering the spacious and beautiful mansion. A group of kids ran into the area laughing.

“No fair!”

“Stop using your powers!”

“No!”

“TAG!”

“AH!”

“Don’t touch me! You’re slimy!”

“Boo!”

“Michael stop it!”

“Hey!” a man shouted sternly from the stairs off to the side. The children scattered in several different directions, one of them even falling through the wall, to escape the man coming down to chastise them. “If I have to tell you all not to run inside one more time, I’m not going to be nice about it!” He warned, and then gave a smile to one of the kids, trying to blend into the wall, that he could still see. “Got it?”

They all laughed, “yes professor!”

“Off with ya! Outside! It’s too pretty to be in here!” They scrambled to do as they were told, shouting and calling names the whole way.

The man turned to him, smile fading into confusion, “And you…are not a student…?”

“No, I’m Phillip Coulson,” he extended his hand, the man before him taking it to shake hesitantly as if he couldn’t figure out how he’d gotten past their defences. “I’m honoured to meet you professor, I’ve heard all about you. The things you’ve done for these children,” he gushed.

“Uh…thanks?”

“It’s just wonderful. Opening up your home and then building a new one to continue to keep them safe and give them a new life. I’m just,” he stopped to take a breath. “I’m just a really big fan of people helping others. I’m sorry, I don’t mean to gush.”

The man was silent for a moment before he burst into uproarious laughter. “YOU THINK I’M X!” he fell against the wall unable to keep himself up.

Coulson froze and then began sweating bullets, tremendously embarrassed. “You’re – you’re not?” his voice sounded a bit too high pitched. He’d never had this happen before…but the kids had called him –

“Logan!” he said turning and gripping Phil’s hand in a forced hand shake. “I’m Logan. Professor Howlett to the kids, I teach fighting and tactical war history.”

“Oh,” he was still stunned. He glanced over to his right and saw the child, who had answered the door, was still just standing there staring up at him.

Logan looked over and chuckled. “That’s Jones. Don’t mind him, he’s really smart, just doesn’t say a lot nowadays. Come on,” he said, easily throwing his arm around Phil’s neck and pulled him close before leading him down the hall. “I’ll take you to the guy you are looking for. Or at least I think. I’m not telepathic, just got wicked bones!” He activated his claws right before the agent’s face, making Phil give off a small shout of terror, and then put them away and patted his chest with his now harmless hand, hugging him closer. “Don’t worry; I’ll only put those in ya if you hurt anyone here, got it bub?”

“Yes,” he whispered swallowing nervously.

“That’s the spirit! Loosen up! Can I get you a beer?”

“No thank you, I’m working right now,”

“Yeah, so am I. Doesn’t mean I didn’t down a few before that last class.”

Phil looked at him, his eyes wide in panic. Nothing, could have ever prepared him for this. Fury owed him…huge!

\-------------------------------------------------

_“Can you get rid of thunder?”_

_“No!”_

_The raven haired boy frowned unhappily and pulled the covers more over his head. “But it scares me!”_

_Thor looked over at the trembling shape under his blanket. Another flash of lightning and a mighty clap of thunder shook the main palace. Loki made a noise and shrank further down. The blond sighed heavily and pulled up a corner of blanket to see the pale and tear streaked face. “I am scared of thunder too…” he confessed softly._

_“You’re not scared of anything,” Loki pouted stubbornly._

_“I am, same as you. I only hide it.”_

_“Why?” A streak of light made him flinch, and he dove back under the covers in time before the next boom echoed through their room and along the halls._

_“Because that is what I must do.” Thor said and picked up the blanket to look at him again. “We are princes; we have to face things sometimes that scare us.”_

_“I would never want to face a monster alone,”_

_“Nor I, which is why I keep my friends close.”_

_Loki rubbed his nose with a bit of his sleeve and sniffed quietly, “I have no friends.”_

_“Of course you do!” he laughed loudly and threw off the covers to try and pull his little brother out and put him back into his own bed._

_“No I do not!” he protested and pushed Thor off._

_“Sif, Fandral, Hogun, and Volstagg are your friends,”_

_“They are yours,” he corrected, squatting down to retrieve his own blanket from where he had abandoned it on the floor in his haste to seek shelter with his brother._

_Thor put his hand to his heart and smiled. “My friends are your friends. We are brothers. We share everything.”_

_Loki was silent for a time as he knelt, fiddling with a tear in his precious childish possession, before wrapping himself up in the gold soft fabric tightly. “They do not like me.”_

_“They will; you only must learn how to jest first.”_

_“I don’t like to jest,” he pouted again._

_Thor sighed and rose from his bed, holding his arms out. Loki hesitated a second before he too stood and let his brother embrace him._

_“You will learn. It is fun. And then you will have many friends. Some will be mine, some will be yours, and some we’ll share. Yet one thing will always remain constant.”_

_“What is that?” he asked looking up at him as he was led back to his bed on the other side of the small room._

_“We’ll always be brothers, and we will always defend one another.”_

_Loki climbed back onto his sheets and let Thor drape his covers over him. “What if we’re not? What if we become separated?”_

_“We will find a way back,” he smiled and clapped him on the shoulder. “I’ll always be there with you when it rains. Remember this.”_

Thor jerked awake as the echoes of thunder faded from his mind only to be replaced by ones from outside. He quickly threw his covers off and grabbed the small blanket he kept at the foot of his bed, as he stuffed his feet into the odd soft shoes Tony had bought him. Hurrying out of his rooms he wrapped himself in the fuzzy fabric and headed to the elevator. He navigated the dark halls by memory and soon found himself in Loki’s room.

Banner was asleep in one of the chairs, book fallen to the floor near his feet, and Clint was curled up on his side, balanced precariously on the edge of the bed. Thor went to him, lifted him with ease and carried him to his own room, where he laid him gently to rest and covered him snugly. He returned and drew up the other chair to his brother’s bed and began reciting thanks and prayers under his breath. The storm outside became fierce, giant droplets of rain pelted the windows. He felt as though the tower was under siege with the way the wind shook the whole structure with such intensity; and this was from one who lived in a palace without windows to block out such natural occurrences.

Another loud clap finally woke the poor doctor. He jerked up and looked around. “We’re good,” he said to himself, patting his own shoulder. “Calm down, it’s just a storm.” He took a few deep breaths before he noticed Thor. “Hey,” he said a little uncertain.

“Greetings,” he replied kindly.

“Where did…?” he pointed to the spot the archer had been at moments before.

“I took Barton to his room.”

“Oh…” Banner patted his thighs and then scratched the back of his neck. “I’ll uh…I’ll go check on him…and um…let you be. I need a walk.” He stretched trying to stifle a yawn and hurried from the room, leaving Thor alone with his brother.

The clock ticked on the wall; slow seconds crawling into minutes which dragged into hours. Banner did not return and Thor was almost thankful for that. In times such as this he disliked being around the doctor. He knew he was a friend and meant well, but his brother… All of them had done so much more than he could have ever asked for…but his brother… They all, and he himself, were fighting the same….that thing. That nameless feeling which hung upon his heart as heavy as Mjölnir was in his hand. Truth spoken, the fine weapon was his to freely wield, however the use of her powers had taken him many years to master, and the weight her touch brought to his arm was both comforting and burdening.

Thor wished to summon her forth, yet restrained himself. He needed to manage without. He needed to find his own strength again. If he was going to help his brother, and he had already begun making several plans and various forms of pleas and compromises, he needed to not rely upon a thing that could be taken from him. If his father were to become upset and recall her, Thor would flounder before the court and spoil his chance at saving Loki.

He stayed by him: arranging his blankets, moving his hair from his face, looking at the screens on the walls that showed good readings and green signs all around. He prayed again and then once his mind had run out of ways to keep him busy, he turned his thoughts again to his home. What was everyone doing? How did they feel about the attack on Midgard? Thor had only been there long enough to return the Tesseract and beg that when he brought Loki back, he would receive a fair trial. Did they see him as a villain and a danger as S.H.I.E.L.D. did? Would they listen to him or cast him aside? Thor knew the answer even though he wished they would see reason and understand what was happening right now. If they knew would they even care? He wanted to believe that they cared; however, recent events in his life had opened his eyes to see Asgard for what it really was. He wanted them to see the good, not because it was there. It had to be. He wanted it to be.

_“We’ll always be brothers, and we will always defend one another.”_

_“What if we’re not? What if we become separated?”_

_“We will find a way back…I’ll always be there with you when it rains.”_

“Remember this,” he chided himself, closing his eyes and rubbing his thumb along the seam of his lips as he went back to praying. The weather outside progressed further, becoming even more violent than before. An omen or his intuition, he was sure the unsettling rolling in his blood was a warning sign of something far greater still to come.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Questions? Comments? Concerns? Facts you'd like to share?


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Important little message. My great grandmother passed away last night / this morning, and I'm just kind of a wreck. I'm taking a break from everything for a while. I have no idea when I'll feel well enough to come back, so I'm going to post this chapter and give my account info as well as the next one to a friend to post for me if I'm not back within two weeks. I'm sorry about this inconvenience and I hate leaving you all hanging like this but I just really can't do much of anything right now.
> 
> All mistakes are my own fault. All of the characters names, places, and certain plot points I've taken from Marvel and formed to fit my own crazy ideas to cope with having to wait between movies. Other things mentioned belong to their respective owners as well (ie tv shows, food brands, etc). Thank you so much for taking time to read and please enjoy!

\----------------------14----------------------

Clint woke with a sigh. He was back in his bed, his IV had been reconnected and the weight in his chest had returned. Truthfully he was a little disappointed he had been moved, the other part, however, was grateful because he knew his body would not have enjoyed being cramped on the small medical bed. He flipped off the heavy covers and, grabbing the portable IV stand, stumbled to the bathroom to wash his face and rinse his mouth out.

Seeing Loki yesterday had sparked something within him, something he hadn’t notice dwindle. He felt lighter, more certain, and restless – but this time in a good way. Before it had been the urge to get up and move and see Loki, now it was the restlessness of waiting. Waiting for his body to recover, waiting for Loki to get up, waiting for Natasha to talk with him, waiting to tell everyone everything…. Waiting, waiting, waiting! He was going insane!

He wished for a break to the monotony. Once he got a bow back in hand and could go to the training room he’d be fine. Hell, he wouldn’t mind going right now, even if Bruce insisted he go down there in a wheelchair and take a nap every few hours. He longed for the feeling of being complete with an elegant curvy bow in his grip and his fingers wrapped around some sexy slim arrows – the thought was making him angry and kind of battle lusty.

But of course, today would be no different: deal with tests and check-ups, let the others visit with him, and then sneak off into Loki’s room before bed. He liked the sound of that: sneaking off as if he were some teenager again. Actually he’d never snuck off and visited anyone at that age, yet he’d read, watched, and heard enough about it that the idea had always intrigued him. He felt like a rebel now: like Anakin secretly going off and marrying Padmé; like Alice following the white rabbit into Wonderland; like John Bender running through the halls of Shermer High; like eating peanut butter out of the jar with a spoon.

Okay that last one really was just a pet-peeve of Natasha’s, but when he did it he made that shit count.

Clint inspected his features in the mirror before making his way back into the room and changing into the white medical garb. He groaned as he looked over the pants and shirt combination before slipping them on. He realised he was still being cared for, the IV catheter in his arm and the fact he couldn’t go far without feeling the need to face plant the floor said enough, but he wasn’t in a legit hospital. Couldn’t he have his normal blacks? He felt opened and exposed. Even though he wasn’t in any danger, he still preferred to blend in with his surroundings.

“Well,” he mumbled and sat at the edge of the bed to wait for the punctual doctor. “I suppose if I wore black I’d stick out even more in this room.”

He didn’t have to wait long, of course. At 0815 there was a tap at the door followed by Bruce’s face and a, “good morning.”

Clint was itching to just get the day over with so he could see Loki. Today had to be the day. He promised…

\-------------------------------------------------

“I don’t want to talk to him,” Natasha rolled over onto her stomach and buried her face in her folded arms stubbornly. They were in one of the training rooms on the lower levels, surrounded by punching bags and moving targets. The floor there was extra squishy and sank in under the pressure of Steve’s feet as he came towards her.

He sat on the floor next to her and leaned in slightly. “Natalichka, please?” he begged, making her skin prickle. She loved it when he used that form of her name. His tongue clumsily forming the sounds, the foreignness to it – its affective use on her was right up there with her full given name and ‘Nata’. “I know you do not want too, but he’s asked for you several times. Don’t you think you’ve given each other enough space?” He reached his hand out and set it on her shoulder, anticipating her movement to shrug him off, yet held firm. “You can’t keep avoiding him, what will you do when he starts walking around the other levels of the mansion?”

“Avoid him.”

“Even if the only way out was to jump through a window?”

“Yes.” She stated staying stubborn.

He rolled his eyes knowing better and then leaned in toward her a bit. “Nata…I’m begging you, don’t give up…just try.”

She let out a heavy breath of annoyance and then made a small huffing noise. She was powerless to say no. Rogers smiled knowing he’d won her over in this battle and kissed the top of her head.

“You owe me,” she grumbled.

“Thank you,” he whispered and got up to finish his training routine. She made another noise and stayed on the floor for a while, organising her thoughts to form a plan of action for her next meeting with Barton. She was going to have to say the words and mean it…Barton would know if she was faking it. He always did.

“Fucking bastard…” she muttered in a blended fifty-fifty of fondness and annoyance.

\-------------------------------------------------

Clint sat nervously on the edge of the bed. Loki lay there, still and unchanging. He sighed and shook his head. He was being silly, what had he expected? The god to just suddenly spring up and everything would be solved with confetti and macaroni and cheese? Their lives were not a faery tale, things took time, and he was going to lose his mind waiting.

 _Relax, this is only day two._ He reminded himself and got up to move the chair closer. He huffed, he puffed, and he even tried whining and hitting it, but he could only budge the bulky bottom heavy thing several inches before his body screamed for a nap. He flopped down in it defeated and wiped some sweat from his brow.

The door opened and in came Banner and Thor. “Hello,” Bruce greeted.

“Hey,” he waved tiredly.

He pointed to the chair Clint was slouched in, “Need some help?”

“No, I was just doing jumping ja–”

Banner moved it with ease in a simple tug. “There.” He said with a smile and went to the cabinets.

“Show off,” Clint chuckled under his breath. He noticed Thor standing a little ways off and waved to him. “Hey buddy.”

“Good morning,” he nodded his head and held aloft a try with Barton’s usual meal rations. “I have brought you sustenance.”

“I thought that was Steve’s job?”

“Steve is busy today,” Bruce replied walking back over to hook up two bags to the IV tree, and threaded one through the machine. He pushed a few buttons and then turned to Clint, sitting a little on the edge of the bed and looked him over. “How are you feeling?”

“You just got done asking me that five minutes ago,”

“It was about an hour and a half ago, but I suppose a nap and coming over here without help will do that to time.” He leaned forward and felt the archer’s forehead before putting his hands on Clint’s neck and felt his lymph nodes there. “Does that hurt?”

“No,”

He moved his hands up and back a little from his ears, “now?”

“Not really,”

He pressed his hands back down and under his chin, “here?”

“No.”

Banner took his right arm and inspected the IV there before pushing on the area around it a bit. “Is there any pain here?”

“No mom,”

He smirked and untapped the heparin lock, sticking a needless syringe into the port and slowly flushed the line. Clint shivered as a jet of cold washed through his system. “You can bring the tray over Thor,” Banner instructed as he continued to hook Barton up to the second bag and then checked his pulse.

“Medicine?”

“No, just normal fluids. You should be off of all of this tomorrow. That is, if you don’t strain yourself,” he added with a warning look at him over his glasses.

The archer shrugged and felt his stomach grumble as Thor neared. The god of thunder set the tray on a tiny table and brought that up next to him before pulling the other chair over and sitting down.

“Not that I am not grateful to have a change of company, and don’t get me wrong Steve’s cool, but where is he again?”

“With Natasha,” Banner lifted the tube to step under it and went around to the other side of the bed so he could begin checking Loki over.

Clint felt a stab of jealousy and couldn’t keep it from rising into his voice when he demanded, “What are they doing?”

“Probably training,” Banner quickly said in a neutral tone before Thor could say anything.

“She could train with him,” he pointed at the god.

Thor kept his mouth closed and instead opened the ring snap on Clint’s can of juice. He smiled pleased with himself for not busting the thing and showed Banner, who nodded in approval. He turned back to the archer, “I have been practicing,” he explained setting it down.

“Smashed enough to fill a couple of boxes, but he’s getting it,” The gamma-specialist added and went over to tap a few things into the computer.

“I will learn your customs,” he said determined.

“Did you break any with your hammer?” Clint inquired eagerly, forgetting for a moment all about his childlike displeasure over Natasha and Steve hanging out.

Thor looked a little embarrassed, “yes. I managed four at once.”

“Wicked.”

“Alright,” Banner said with a small sigh. “I’m going to check on Tony. Eat up and I’ll be back later.” They waved and Bruce departed leaving the awkward silence of ones having to converse while not being a hundred percent familiar with each another.

Thor leaned back, smile never leaving his face as he watched Clint eat as he carefully moved, ever mindful of the tube strung across his body at an odd angle. Barton stopped after a couple of bites once he noticed the blond’s intense and somewhat creepy, although it was probably meant as friendly, staring. “Uh…do you like cartoons?”

“I am very fond of the cat and rodent. However they are always fighting, I do hope they put aside their differences and make peace.”

“Tom and Jerry?”

“Yes, those are their names.”

Clint laughed, “what other ones do you like?”

Thor perked up interested, “There are more?”

A pang of pity went through Barton. “Oh Thor, grab that remote.” The god did as he was instructed and handed it to Clint. He flipped the TV on and began searching through the listings. “Looney Tunes aren’t on for a while but there are reruns of Yogi.”

“Who?”

“Don’t worry buddy, I’m going to school you in the most important aspect of Earthian television. We’ll start with the classics, but when it’s time for Dora, we have to change. No matter what is on, I’m not missing her.”

“And what does this Dora do?”

“She goes exploring with a talking backpack, monkey, and map.”

“She sounds very fascinating. Did she enchant them herself?”

Clint looked at him and then busted out laughing. “She’s a child.”

“And her parents let her venture alone at such a young age?”

“It’s a cartoon, bro. Don’t over think it.”

They sat and watched several dozen episodes while Clint finished what he could of his meal and drink half of his juice. Thor would occasionally ask questions or make comments, such as “Why doesn’t the mighty bear listen to his tiny friend?” or “He could have asked, I am sure they would have shared. He seems friendly enough”. At one point he got up and retrieved a blanket from the cabinet when he noticed Barton trying to hide how cold he was becoming. The archer accepted it gratefully and a _Bugs and Daffy_ marathon began.

After a time Barton began nodding off, curled up in the chair, fluffy blanket tucked around him, his hand holding Loki’s, the steady beeping of the machines, and the sound of Thor laughing every so often. He was just about to pass out in some strange dream when he sensed something was wrong. Someone was lifting him into the air and there was a high pitched annoying noise.

He opened his eyes and found Thor cradling him tightly and heading towards the door, the sounds of Banner and Tony shouting things back and forth to each other and JARVIS as a loud alarm went off.

“Whatsgoinon?” he slurred trying to pry himself out of the god’s arms.

“Thor get him out of here.” Banner ordered mixing a syringe before directly injecting it into Loki’s arm.

It hit him like a ton of bricks: Loki was in trouble. “Let me go.” Clint began struggling in his arms to try and get out.

“Please Barton,” Thor pleaded, a sad look on his face as he kept his eyes set ahead of them. “Do not fight me. Let us leave them to care for Loki.”

“What’s wrong with him?”

“Largest mass has now slipped in between his ribs and his right lung. Heart rate –”

“OKAY JARVIS WE GET IT! Things are not good!” Tony yelled angrily and tossed Banner a bag valve mask.

“Thor, put me down.” Clint demanded as they exited the room. His panic only sky rocketed, making him feel sick, as the door shut and they were left in the hall with nothing but silence. What was going on? He had only closed his eyes for a moment. Was Loki alright? What did it mean there was something between his ribs and lung?

“I have orders,”

“Thor, please don’t do this! Just take me back. I can’t help!”

“This happens; we must wait for it to pass. Even I cannot help.”

“What do you mean ‘this happens’!?” he shouted enraged as he managed to get a leg to slip down from Thor’s arm. He turned so that he was facing the blond and pushed against his chest with all of his might. “THOR DROP ME!” He acted as though he hadn’t heard Clint. “Please, you know that it’s wrong to separate us. He was doing so well. Just take me back! I know how to fix it!” He pleaded as his chest began to grow heavy and he slowly stopped fighting. His breathing grew shallow and by the time they reached his door, and Thor had set him down, he was struggling for air.

“Thor!” he weakly gasped grabbing at the centre of his chest as he bent forward.

“Sir Barton?”

And just as soon as it had come, it left. Clint wheezed as air rushed into his lungs. It felt as though he had been trapped underwater and finally made it to the surface. He gulped in several deep breaths and felt Thor catch him as he collapsed. A second later Banner came rushing over.

“Get him inside,” he said pulling out a small flashlight. Once Thor had helped settle Barton down, Banner began checking him over. He shined the light into each of Clint’s eyes and then had him open up and stick his tongue out. “Can you breathe?”

“Yes,” he said weakly.

“How else do you feel?”

Clint took a moment to consider the question before giving a tiny sluggish shrug, “tired.”

“Alright.” He nodded growing a little tenser as he pulled out a blood pressure cuff. “Thor, would you mind getting my stethoscope from the other room?” Thor bowed his head and left them.

The moment the door closed Barton used his remaining strength to round on the doctor. “What the fuck was that?”

Banner turned back to the archer as he wrapped the device around his arm, “I’m sorry you had to see that.”

He narrowed his eyes, “That was why you kept us separate.”

Bruce nodded, “yes…Tony and I thought it would cause you too much stress.”

“How often does it happen?”

“It’s sporadic. He was fine again up until the other night.”

Clint inhaled sharply through his nose and licked his lips annoyed, “that…that was how you knew I was in pain?”

“Yeah.”

“You could have told me.”

“I thought it would end. I thought…I thought if you had contact with him…he would…” Banner rubbed his face and held back the rest of his words as Thor returned and handed him the stethoscope. “Thank you.”

“You are welcome. Is…” he hesitated glancing at Clint and then at the wall in the direction Loki was. “Is there anything else?”

“No, I think we’ve got it covered. Thank you. I think Steve might need help cleaning. Pepper will be here in a few days and some of the levels are still under construction.” The god nodded at each of them and then left.

“Why is that happening?” Barton asked in a small voice as he looked down at his lap.

Banner activated the pressure cuff, put the ear tips in, and set the diaphragm against Clint’s inner elbow. “The chemicals. We used to think they were just settling in places. You said he was converting them. If what you say is true–”

“It is!”

“–and I’m sure it is, that would mean in order to do so the chemicals have to accumulate within his body, before his defences do whatever it does, and they disappear.”

“Is that the worst it’s been?”

Banner removed the stethoscope, setting it on the side table as the cuff hissed letting the air go and beeped the readings. He pulled his glasses off and cleaned them on his shirt slowly, “No.”

“How long have they been happening?”

He sighed and put his glasses back on his face, “since before we left the carrier.”

“Are you fucking –”

“I know! I know!” he held up his hands with a small gesture of surrendering. “We should have told you. We should have told everyone. It was unfair but Tony and I thought he’d wake up before you, and by the time that hadn’t happened, the attacks had stopped. We didn’t want to show you just to be safe. Too much stress could have weakened your system when you first woke up.”

“Well I’m moving around! Why not tell me today?”

“I almost did.” He shook his head and removed the cuff, “I know it seems like a long time, but you only woke up four days ago. You just started walking the other day.”

“I’m an adult. I’ve been taking care of myself since I was a child. I could have handled this.”

Banner nodded regretfully, “I know…I should have left that choice up to you. I’m sorry.”

“Is he –”

“I wouldn’t have left if he wasn’t stable.”

Clint sighed heavily and rolled over to face the window. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” He rose and scratched his head as he picked up the stethoscope and put it around his neck.

“I know you don’t have too.”

“I do. I might not be a legitimate doctor, but I hate seeing people suffer. No one deserves that.”

Clint felt his chest ache. He couldn’t think of anything else to say, so he let the gamma-specialist take his leave. He continued to stare out the window and watched the sky darken. A part of him wanted desperately to rush back over to Loki’s room, but the other couldn’t bear the thought of having to go through another episode like that. He had felt so helpless. That had been happening to him for more than a month now? That had been what he’d suffered through in order to keep Clint safe, to bring them closer, to solve some of their differences? Loki had been killing himself to prove he wanted more; that he wasn’t what and who everyone thought he was; and now he was killing himself to try and reverse the damage he had done.

In that moment Clint hated S.H.I.E.L.D. He hated them with every fibre of his being. He hated Fury for being scared and resorting to such drastic measures to ensure Loki wouldn’t escape; he hated him for making Thor leave the god here for questioning; and he hated himself for sitting around and watching that happen to him. He shouldn’t have gone back to his room when he left the Med-Ward. He should have gone to check on him, or at least drop a visit later on the next day. He could have hacked the system and watched the footage. He still could.

Clint restrained himself from having to go down that path. He didn’t want to see those things. Feeling it for that brief moment and seeing the result had been more than enough. He should have ripped the things out of Loki’s back, kicked the guard in the face, blown a hole in the side and jumped with a shoot and the god strapped to his chest. They could have survived in the wilderness, Clint knew how, and he was certain Loki had gone hunting at least once in his life.

 _These thoughts are useless_ , he sighed closing his eyes and tried relaxing his mind. He was so angry he could have fried an egg on the top of his head. But what good was his anger? It couldn’t fix what had happened. It couldn’t stop Loki from having those seizures. It couldn’t make him wake up faster, or get Tasha to talk to him, or stop everyone from giving him those odd sad looks when they thought he wasn’t paying attention.

The door opened and Clint shifted a little. Time had slipped away from him again, it was night already and his room was dark. He turned his head and saw Steve’s silhouette standing in the doorway. “Are you hungry?” Clint shook his head. “Okay…well if you do want anything just call me. No matter what time, okay?”

“Sure,” he rolled over again and pulled his legs up towards his chest more.

“I’m sorry. I heard about earlier. Do you want to talk about it?”

“No,”

“Okay…well…sleep well.”

“Night.”

\-------------------------------------------------

Logan led him into a comfortable moderately large library. “This is it.”

“Thank you,” Phil managed and adjusted his tie.

“No problem, and hey,” he took a step closer to the agent who backed down a bit. “I hope you’re not like the last guy that came in here…because I’m running out of room to hide the bodies.” He gave Coulson a creepy smile and then turned and left.

Phil gripped his chest and took a few deep breaths trying to compose himself. It was very rare to find something that bothered or made him nervous, and lo and behold, only the great Wolverine could make him wish he’d brought a change of undies. He coughed and cleared his throat smoothing out his suit. Boxers…he had meant to think boxers.

_Are you going to stand out there all day or are you going to knock and come speak with me?_

Phil swallowed for a moment and then knocked. The door opened of its own accord. _Please come in,_ a gentle voice called.

Coulson did so and found a man sitting behind a desk, staring out the window with a forlorn expression upon his face. “Professor Xavier?”

“Yes, that is who I am,” he turned his head. “And you must be another agent…S.H.I.E.L.D. if I am correct? You look as though you work for Nicholas. How is he doing?”

“Well.”

“Ah,” he gave a small knowing smile. “Still having problems with fighting off the council?”

“That is a never ending battle,”

“Yet one I hope he wins,” Charles gestured to a sitting area to the right of his desk. “Please make yourself comfortable.”

“Thank you,” Phil went and sat in the chair before the unlit fire and waited until the professor had wheeled himself around to the space were a chair should have been. He smiled and held out his hand. “It is an honour,” he began after the man had shaken it. “I just wanted to say –”

“Thank you,” he politely cut him off and lifted a bell ringing it. “I do not mean to be rude but I overheard the conversation you had with Logan in the lobby. It is an honour, of course for me, to meet someone so passionate about helping others, regardless of their background or former transgressions.”

Phil smiled down at his lap sheepishly. “I just do what I feel is right.”

“Then we are similar in many ways.” The door opened and in stepped a dark-skinned woman with white stylishly cut hair in a navy blue pencil dress and silver heels. She carried a tray over to the table and set it between them. “Ah, thank you Ororo. Would you care for some tea Mr. Coulson?”

He was thrown for a second over how the professor came to knowing his name, but quickly remembered the man had been listening in earlier, and then relaxed a bit into his chair. “Yes, please.”

“Sugar? Cream?”

“Sugar please, two lumps.”

The attractive woman – Oroa was it? Raroa? _Aurora_ , Phil reasoned – prepared their drinks and handed them each a beautiful tea cup and saucer before bowing her head and left them in peace.

“I assume you did not come to finish negotiating the terms for S.H.I.E.L.D.’s help in keeping the school safe; so you can imagine why I must be so curious, and with hesitant embarrassment, cautious of your visit today,” Xavier said once he’d taken a decent drink from his cup.

“I would be more than happy to return here and speak on behalf of S.H.I.E.L.D. with any terms you need in order to keep the inhabitants of this school safe. Unfortunately that is not my main priority at the moment.”

“No, the fallen being is. What was his name?” he pondered for a moment, putting his first finger to his lips. “Ah!” he shook it slowly before him a little. “I recall now: Loki. Loki Odinson.”

“Laufeyson,” Coulson corrected gently.

Charles gave him a curious look, “that is unfortunate. I thought I sensed a small amount of affection and a desire to reconcile with his adoptive father. I could have been mistaken,” he casually shrugged setting his cup upon the table. “It was very hard to read his mind.”

“Why was that?”

Xavier gave him a look, “I know what you are trying to do, and I am sorry Mr. Coulson, but I will not be so easily fooled.”

Phil put his cup down and crossed his legs, leaning in toward the professor a bit. “To be honest, I’m not here under any sort of orders but my own. I’m just trying to find leads that will point me in the right direction to finding something I’ve lost.”

“Something? You mean the…Avengers?”

He straightened and smoothed a hand down his tie, “I don’t really want a lot of people knowing about it.”

“Why?” he rested his elbow upon the armrest of his wheelchair and set his forefinger to his temple. “You did not lose them.”

“No, they…” he licked his lips and softened his voice, “they ran away.”

“So what do you want from me?”

“I was hoping you could give me some information about the prisoner Loki. I believe that whatever caused the Avengers to abandon the Helicarrier and take him with them involves –”

“If you could read people’s minds, would you do it?”

“Pardon?”

“If you had the ability to read a person’s mind, intentionally or otherwise, would you do it?”

“I suppose if I had to,”

“And if you didn’t?”

Phil licked is lips and thought for a moment. “The mind is a private place. I –”

“It’s funny, everyone’s answer is always the same, yet their inner one never matches what they speak aloud.” Coulson frowned at him, looking him over as he considered what he’d said. Xavier only gave him a small thoughtful smile. “I respect that your mind reflects your words.” He wheeled his chair out and towards the agent a little and then sat forward in it. “I know what you’re seeking, and I know what has happened. I know you also did not come here looking for those answers, but others. I will give you what you seek, even what Nicholas is after.”

“Why?”

His smile turned sad as he looked the agent over, “because I believe he needs to understand what he is facing. What he was asking someone to do. What he has done himself.” He held out his hands and looked at Phil. “Do you want this?” Phil nodded. “Then when you are ready. This won’t take long.”

Phil stared at the mutant’s hands for a moment before taking a deep breath and leaned forward in his chair. His last clear thought was how cold his body was compared to the professor’s warm gentle hands, and then his mind was chaos.

\-------------------------------------------------

It had been four days since he was permitted to see Loki, and although he was terrified of going back after experiencing one of his seizures, Clint had forced himself to take the long walk over to his room the next day. He hadn’t touched him; he had just stood at the door staring at him. Steve had been busy working on something, so it had taken him a while to realise Barton was there. He had looked up, smiled, and then offered if he wanted some privacy with the god. Clint had declined. Half of him angry he had turned away without saying anything more, and the other half urging him forward, back to the safety of his room. It made him feel hollow. With every step his heart told him he was betraying Loki by not being by his side, but his mind congratulated him on staying safe.

Staying safe. That was what had gotten him into this mess. Staying safe: he left the circus finally. Staying safe: he assumed a false identity and began pickpocketing and sleeping in abandoned buildings. Staying safe: he moved around a lot, never made friends, and closed himself off from the world. Staying safe: he had been recruited to do some shady projects from companies that promised him a warm meal, a decent bed, and protection for a small price. Staying safe: he had joined S.H.I.E.L.D. Staying safe: he had stopped himself from fighting Loki. Staying safe: he had tried to keep a distance, yet found himself wanting to be nearer. Staying safe: he had touched him.

Yeah staying safe…it hadn’t all been bad, but this wasn’t one of those times he’d considered good. He felt that to his very core.

The next night he’d creep in and taken a few steps further inside. Banner had been there, asleep yet alert. The moment the other guy sensed an unfamiliar being, Barton was already turning back to his room. His heart screamed at him to stop being stupid, his mind was doing victory laps. It made him feel horrible. He curled up and didn’t eat anything the next day.

Last night, he’d gone in around the same time as before. No one was in the room, which was bizarre, yet he felt there had been a reason. He’d taken his time walking to him; each step lasting about ten minutes. Barton had rested his hands on the bedrail for almost an hour before daring to reach out and touch Loki’s barely warm skin. He had flinched back worried the alarms would go off, but nothing happened. He had taken the god’s hand then.

His heart had sung and his mind found peace. Clint had put the rail down and laid next to him. He noticed Loki had been moved over slightly and that the wires and tubes connected to him were tapped together and put off to the side. Clint thanked his friends for being so considerate. He curled up and fell asleep listening to Loki’s heartbeat. It had grown stronger since the last time he’d felt it.

Barton meditated, tried opening himself up and whispered to him, telling him about his recovery. He spoke of his fall out with Natasha, his frustrations, and fears. He was almost asleep when he felt the phantom brush of fingers in his hair. Clint had jerked upright expecting to see Loki’s tired face smiling up at him, but was met with disappointment when he realised the god hadn’t moved. He had settled back down and closed his eyes relaxing. When he felt the gentle touch again, he didn’t move. He lay there basking in the feeling as content pooled in his stomach. The ache in his chest had lessened just slightly more.

When Bruce came in to check on things early that morning Barton refused to return to his old room. Banner asked if he wanted his bed brought in. Clint had refused. Thor and Steve helped bring in a larger bed and Loki was carefully transferred to it. Tony hadn’t said anything. He had just silently wheeled out the old bed and left for a while.

Now he was back with a weapon he’d been working on and chattered away nervously, keeping his eyes on every place in the room but Loki. Clint was only half listening until the words ‘bow’ and ‘arrows’ entered the genius’s vocabulary.

“So the bow is like your other ones, but there are a few modifications.” Tony continued explaining to him, turning the bow over and showing him the sensor at the handle. “It won’t fire straight unless you’re holding it. If anyone else tries to use it, the string will slack, it will jerk off to the side, whatever it needs to so that the other person stops touching it. This is unless you’ve put someone into the system under the ‘approved to handle’ section.”

“Tony this is so cool, thanks!” Clint beamed picking it up out of his hands to try it out. He frowned after a moment and then realised it was upside down...or rather, backwards. “Uh, Tony.”

“Yeah?”

“You know I’m predominantly left-handed, right?”

Tony blinked at him a few times with his best poker face and then took the bow back slowly, “I’ll be back in a few hours.” He exited the room quickly as Barton tried to stifle his laughter.

“What a marvellous weapon though?” Thor added from his seat on the other side of the bed. The thunder god had taken to spending the most time with him these past few days. He had sat in silence, he had pleaded alongside Steve when Clint had refused to eat, and he had even made sure the TV was on and set the right station for _Dora_ when Clint had become lost in his guilty loathing thoughts.

It made him feel a little less lonely, yet anxious all at once. Every time he looked at the guy he just kept reminding himself of the two ways the news would go: an unrecognisable bloody face caved in or alcohol poisoning. He didn’t know which was worse. Both sounded pretty painful.

“Yes,” he agreed pushing those thoughts from his mind and took a drink from the giant cup of water Steve had brought him before he had disappeared. “I can’t wait to get back to training and use it.”

“So…” the blond lowered his voice and leaned in a bit more. “I…” he stopped and frowned. He had been trying to find a way to politely ask the archer a few questions. Each time he had tried he found that the time had not been right or himself too embarrassed. Not by the subject, it was more that he felt…intrusive. Thor rubbed his hands on his legs a bit nervous and forced himself to try again. “May I…” he stopped shaking his head. His brief moment of courage lost again.

“Thor, you can ask me whatever you want. We’re bros,” he encouraged and smiled, showing the thunder god it was alright; even though there was a small voice in the back of his mind screaming something about hospital visits and missing teeth. And he had just been taken off of the IV the other day too…

“Even if it be personal?”

“Even personal.” _Liver damage and being thrown from the roof._ What was that new expression all of the hip kids were saying now? _Yolegos? Yalogs? Yovo?_

“Do you understand what has occurred between you both?”

Clint hesitated and nodded, “I have some idea, but I don’t want to speak too much about it until Loki is awake. It’s only fair.” He was pretty proud of himself for remaining so calm externally when inside his mind was doing circles panicked. _I wonder what would hurt more, plummeting to my death or continuously being struck by lightning? Yabo!_ No that wasn’t it either.

Thor nodded a few times, rubbed his mouth, and then blurted quickly, “are you comfortable with marriage to my brother or are you two strictly to remain as bedding mates?”

Clint was momentarily taken aback. He knew the question was going to be personal, but he didn’t think he was going to be slammed with another one about his dick so soon after his fight with Natasha. Well, not technically soon, but it wasn’t very often his sexual health or behaviours were called into question or talked about in a positive manner. Not that he didn’t already openly flaunt and talk about things at inappropriate times, he just knew when and where was the right place, and this time around things with Loki were more of a private matter.

And the nature of both of these questions along with things he’d dropped in conversations earlier meant Thor seemed to know more than everyone else. It was either a blessing or a curse and Clint was a little scared to speak to figure out which. His brain suddenly began showcasing a thousand ways to die, none of them pleasant, but pretty impressive technicality wise from an assassin’s point of view.

 “I…” he began taking a deep breath trying to find a tactful and neutral way to answer. “I think if the bond is what you….suggest then I feel…” there was that word again. _Feel_. What did he feel? He felt alone without the god. He felt incomplete. He felt confused. He looked down at Loki next to him.

“You do not have to answer this moment,” Thor held up his hands hurriedly. “Give it some time if need be.” He smiled.

“Thanks…” Barton grabbed his cup again and nervously took a drink just to give himself something to do.

“But know that if you cause harm to him I am obligated to destroy you.”

He spit the water out of his mouth and began coughing loudly while beating on his chest to clear his lungs out. Thor leaned forward, taking one of his meaty hands, and clapped him roughly on the back twice. Clint was sure his ribs where bruised, but the sudden laughter from the god made his mind stop working.

“I jest!” Thor covered his face as he doubled over in his chair. “It was a jest! Apologises! I do not intend to mock your distress, however your face!”

Clint could have fainted from relief. It was just a joke…

“No, I will end you if you hurt him,” Thor sobered up quickly glaring at him, before his lips twitched and he began laughing once more. When he noticed the mortal was not sharing in his camaraderie, he stopped. “Clinton?”

“I…” he bit his lip. “Honestly Thor…I know things won’t be easy with him and I, but I think that once he’s awake, and we finish working though all of our problems with each other and everyone else here…it will be…smoother.” He swallowed and looked at the god, a little worry he hadn’t even know he’d been carrying around with him fell off of his shoulders.

Thor nodded and considered his words. “My brother is not really an evil man.”

“I know,” Clint agreed quickly.

“He just…he tries, but he does not know how to try correctly,” he sighed and leaned back to stare off into the distance. “I fear this is because I have failed him as a brother and,” he swallowed forcing himself to hold back his shame, “friend…”

“No, you haven’t.” Barton studied the god before him and realised Thor was on his side. He didn’t even really know Clint. He didn’t even care who he was or that he had once stated his despise for Loki during and after the battle; Thor only cared for saving his brother. He cared for Loki and he knew about the bond. He knew and he hadn’t punched him in the face. Clint realised they had a fighting chance with him on their team. He decided to open up to him; “Loki looks up to you, regardless of the things he may say.”

Thor gave him a weak smile, “I wish I would take comfort in believing such.” He hesitated a moment before he tried asking another question. “Do you feel everything he feels?”

Clint wasn’t ashamed or worried that Thor would tell anyone anything he confided in him. “Almost…”

“Can you hear his thoughts?”

He looked at him, “Yeah…” he said quietly. Telling him wouldn’t be betraying Loki’s trust and it  wouldn’t make thing unfair. It could only help. “Yeah Thor…it’s just as you think it is…” he saw the god beginning to gather some emotion and before he could blow it off, Clint rushed on reflexively begged, “Please don’t tell the others!”

Thor stopped and frowned confused, “Why would I do such a thing?”

“I just…” he blinked confused. That was not what he had been expecting.

He nodded his head understanding the archer’s expression, “This is your news, and Loki and you should share that announcement together. It is not my place to confirm such a thing.”

“Thank you,” he let out a breath he hadn’t realised he’d been holding.

Thor patted his arm, “Always my friend.” With a smile he added in a lower tone, “and brother.”

Clint laughed, “I don’t think anything like that is going to happen that soon. Isn’t there supposed to be a ceremony or something?”

“Yes,” he nodded becoming excited. “And feasting, and dancing, and ale, and fighting, and blood shed!”

“Whoa!” he held up his hands. “Calm it down Dionysus and Enyo’s bastard child!”

Thor blinked at him for a second and then burst into laughter again. “Great one friend! Well chosen, they are good people and surely invited to the party.”

“What?”

Thor stood and wiped a tear from his eye as his joy settled down again. “I am pleased to hear this news, and I will keep my vow to not speak of it again until the proper time arrives.” He sighed and looked down at Loki, his mood changing into something sadly serious. “I have been thinking this past month, on a great many things…and I feel I might have been too harsh upon him when we last parted. I do love my brother…he baffles and angers me…yet I love him.”

“He has that affect with people.”

Thor gave a small laugh, “Yes…he does…and there are a great many things we now must all work together to overcome.” He gave the archer a half bow. “I have matters to attend. Rest well and I shall see you tomorrow.”

“Bye Thor,” he waved to the god’s back and fell back onto the pillows next to Loki as the door hissed shut. Surprisingly his thoughts, this time, were not on Loki but on Natasha, and how he’d try to fix whatever had broken their friendship. One stress giving over to another, but hey that was life. Or at least that was how his worked.

No sooner had he started coming up with a plan, than his thought process was interrupted by the door opening. She walked into the room behind Steve who, of course, was carrying his new rationed meal on a white slim tray.

“Lunch time!” Rogers called merrily and set the tray on the small table near the large wall-window and began moving the chairs over to it.

“Oh great! More mushy cardboard and strange coloured pills!” he joked rolling himself out of the bed, taking a moment to balance himself, and headed toward the food.

“Clint,” Steve sighed feigning mild disappointment.

“I’m sorry, I know it’s all you can give me, and I’m very appreciative of your efforts in my recovery.” He clapped him on the shoulder and smiled up at him. “You’re the best mushy cardboard maker in the world!” They laughed together and Clint sat down as Steve popped the top to his can of juice. He could have done it himself. He could have told the poor soldier so, and he had every intention of doing so, just not that day. The way he put so much dedication into making sure he ate, even though the others had offered to do so, was really touching. He had even apologised for missing a meal that horrible day and had made up for it by sneaking him a packet of sugar under his bowl.

“I’ll be around, page if you need me!” he called as he headed toward the door, leaving Barton and Romanoff in the room alone together.

He looked at her and then gestured to the seat across from him. “You can sit.” She shifted uncomfortable for a moment before taking it, careful to keep her eyes on the tray before them. “Want some cardboard?” he offered holding up his spoon. “It’s mushy.” He gave her his apologetic puppy eyes and her stone façade cracked.

“You’re ridiculous,” she rolled her eyes trying to hold back her smile, not ready to let him know she was starting to forgive him.

“Yeah, but would you have me any other way?” he laughed and began eating his food.

She turned her gaze to watch him before quietly answering, “No.”

He mashed the bland food around in his mouth for a few seconds before he looked up at her. She quickly looked away from him and down at the floor. He noticed it wasn’t the same as before, but the fact that she still couldn’t hold his gaze meant something was still up. “So, how are things?”

“Things are…fine.”

“Normal fine or our kind of fine?”

She smiled and looked at him sadly, “both.”

“Have you been outside?”

“A few times, at night to keep a low profile and never stayed in one place too long.”

“How are repairs?”

“To the tower or the city?”

“Both.”

“Tower is almost done. City is still a mess.”

Clint restrained himself from asking about her and Steve spending time together and went back to eating. Silence fell between them again. Natasha watched him for several minutes and then looked back out the window. Both of them mulling over the words they wish they had the confidence to say.

_I’m sorry._

_Me too._

_I’m selfish._

_I’m going crazy._

_I’m being childish._

_I’m scared._

_I’m confused._

_I want to tell you everything._

_I want to be there for you._

_I just don’t know how to do it._

_I just don’t know what to do about this._

_I need someone on my side._

_I need to stand with you._

_I can’t force you to forgive him._

_I can’t force you to not be with him._

_I wish you would give him a chance._

_I wish you’d tell me what is going on._

_You are the only one that I can rely on._

_You are the only one that I can trust._

They glanced at each other and then quickly away afraid. Her overwhelming ambivalence and his uncertain apprehension kept them in such an uncomfortable state they each began losing hope that today would finally fix things. The littlest of noise made both of them anxious: the clock ticking on the wall; the faint sounds of the city through the glass; the machines steady beeping; and Clint obviously trying hard not to scrap or tap his spoon against the bowl.

_“You both have been friends for a long time?”_

_“Years.”_

_“How many?”_

_She paused and thought as they walked from the tower toward the local bookstore. “At least ten…”_

_“No more than?”_

_“Twenty.”_

_He opened the door for her and they went into the tiny and privately owned dusty shop. “Have you both fought a lot?”_

_“It is a yearly ritual,” she replied dryly and began rummaging through the mismatched shelves looking for anything that seemed interesting._

_“How do you recover from it normally?”_

_She shrugged, “We just talk. Eventually. Sometimes we fight while we’re talking, but things always manage to smooth over.”_

_“Well talking sounds like a good first step.”_

Natasha took a deep breath and tucked some of her hair behind her ear. “I’m…the other day…” Clint looked up at her, his eyes were open wide, from fear or anticipation she couldn’t tell, but they were honest, maybe even a tad hopeful looking. She stared down at the table and went on. “I was out of line the other day. It was wrong of me to…demand something like that from you. I handled the whole situation wrong.” Clint’s heart warmed. That was the nicest, easiest, and closest thing to an apology Natasha had ever given him. “I probably could have been a little more understanding and chose my words better. This is something I’ve been doing since…since we returned to work.”

He nodded. Looking back on things now, he could almost pin point the moments were things seemed a little off. He had never said anything to her. He probably should have, but then again would it have made things different? Maybe worse…

“I know you’re waiting for him to wake up…but…I…” she bit her lip and worried it with her teeth.

“I want to talk to you,” he confessed.

She looked at him, “I’ll listen. Even if I don’t understand or hate it.”

He didn’t miss the quick sideways glance she made toward the unmoving god. It must have unnerved her to be in the same room with him, talking causally to someone she held dear, trying to puzzle out why he suddenly felt the need to stay by his side and share a room with one who had caused them such a hassle.

“I know…I just…I want to be here to help him through things.” He saw her tense a bit. “I don’t feel comfortable talking about our personal details unless he’s around to defend or correct something I say. It’s like if you were to start talking about the very touchy parts of my past to strangers.”

Natasha nodded her head stiffly. “I get it.”

Clint smiled at her and held out his hand for her to take. “You’re going to be the first person I run too. Prepare yourself.”

“Finish your food,” she scolded lightly tossing his hand back at him and turned to look out the window with a smile on her lips. He laughed and scrapped his bowl clean for the first time in weeks.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Some facts:**  
>  **Enyo:** is the female counterpart and is very close (wife, daughter, sister, etc depending upon the story) to the god Ares (Mars for the Romans). She is the goddess of war, bloodshed and apparently enjoyed destroying people's homes and lives. Other names she can be identified with are Eris, the goddess of strife; Ma, an Anatolian goddess; and Bellona/Bella to the Romans. Her name translates to "Warlike", because it was believed that if one summoned or invoked her, she would gift them with a warlike frenzy and blood lust. People used to mutilate themselves or others and drink the blood they gathered in offering to her, sometimes drenching her statues with it. They toned that crazy shit down later on though and made it symbolic with wines or fruits. The rites or offerings generally took place on March 24th, 'Dies sanguinis' or 'Day of blood', which was probably a precursor of Good Friday.
> 
>  **Dionysos** is a great Olympian god whose looks range between old, creepy and bearded to pretty and effeminate, with flowing lush locks of hair to represent youth. He is the diety for wine, vegetation, pleasure, intoxication, festivity, etc. He was born from Zeus’s thigh, dismembered someone because they denied his godliness, turned pirates into dolphins when they tried to hold him for ransom, and is responsible for a bunch of other crazy things. Other names include the alternate spelling: Dionysus; Bacchus/Bakkhos for the Romans; and Liber for a much older god that held similar characteristics, but was renamed because the Romans did what they wanted. Festivals for this guy were held in the middle of March (about the 16th and 17th) and involved copious amounts of sex, crime, and alcohol. People became so crazy that the fests were banned by the Senate. No man, some of that shit was weird, have you ever read _The Bacchae_ by Euripides? That doesn’t even scratch the surface. There is a reason why another name for him is ‘The Liberator of Ecstasy’.
> 
>  **If you are unaware of how Russian names work here is a quick guide an international student gave to me:**  
>  You have a full form – example: Natalia  
> Then you have a short form – example: Natasha  
> Then you have a short but soft form – example: Natashka  
> Then you get this affectionate but apparently short form of the name – example: Natashen'ka  
> Finally you have an affectionate form that is considered part of the full form of the name – example: Natalichka  
> I've been assured, that Steve calling her Natalichka is the highest form of a pet name one can call another in Russian. If this is untrue, then this exchange student is a lair and her own country has taught her wrong.  
> She also gave me a list of shorter short forms of Natasha's name: Natik, Natali, Nataliya, Natallia, Nata, Natusik


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! This is a friend of Britta's (aka Queenbookworm13). She sent me an email explaining what had happened earlier this month and asked me to post this chapter (if she hadn't done it herself by yesterday’s date). I spoke with her recently and she said she'll be back soon; she just needs a little more time. I wanted to thank you all for being patient and understanding with her while she’s away. I do have to say I’m glad she started writing again, I know she missed it. Thank you for supporting her!  
>  _ **-A**_
> 
>  
> 
> Britta: All mistakes are my own. All characters, products, icons, etc belong to their respective owners. I just hijack them the write what’s going on in my mind. Thank you and please enjoy!

\----------------------15----------------------

Banner snatched the bottle from his lips as he walked into the billionaire’s private apartment. “I said, at max, one bottle a day!” he lectured and tossed it into the sink with a shattering  _clank_!

“That’s my first bottle!” He protested and ran to watch the expensive delicious honey coloured liquid swirl down the drain. While he was distracted, Bruce attempted to reach into Tony’s back pockets. The genius held his hands up at him and tried twisting away. “Whoa! Hey! We’re just friends! I’ve got a girl and you’ve got your hand!”

“Oh shut up!” he smacked Stark’s hands aside and managed to retrieve the small Bootlegger bottle sticking out from his jeans. He unscrewed the cap and sniffed it before whining, “Grape!?”

“I have a cold!” he faked a cough and went to grab it back. Banner held it out of reach and levelled him with the ‘ _oh-really?_ ’ look, mixed with ‘ _I’m-disappointed_ ’, and added a dash of ‘ _seriously-bro?-I’m-not-stupid_ ’ on the side.

Stark shrugged trying to play it cool. “Okay, a Bootlegger bottle and finishing off a whiskey from last Christmas aren’t a problem, right? I’ve been good.” He tried fixing the scientist with a pointed stare. His claim failed the moment Bruce rolled his eyes and opened the fridge to pull out an empty beer bottle. Tony shrugged. “Okay, and a beer this morning.” Banner went to his couch and flipped it over with ease. “Hey! Watch it! I just had this level finished!”

“You want to try that lie again?” he pointed to the bottles poorly hidden against the wall; his irritation slowly crawled onto his face and into his voice.

“Oh so that’s were those went!” Stark looked toward the ceiling. “JARVIS, we have a beer thief! Maximum security! We can’t let him get away with this!”

“FOUR!” he shouted exasperated still pointed at them.

“I know! I’m pissed too! I bet it was Thor.”

“Four, Tony!”

“He owes us big.”

“Plus the legger!”

“That asshole.”

“And the whiskey.”

“We should really pick better friends. Preferably ones that won’t steal good alcohol and blame it on me.” Banner looked at him baffled and then grabbed his face pulling him close. “Whoa! I said I have a _lady_!”

“Oh my god you’re drunk!” Bruce whispered in disbelief as he looked into Tony’s bloodshot eyes and smelt his rancid breath. He had just seen him less than thirty minutes ago, he had been fine. What the hell happened!?

“I’d be concerned if I wasn’t.”

“Tony!” he said shaking the billionaire’s face slightly. “This is not okay! You need help!”

“I did have help. His name was Johnnie. Mr. Walker and I were doing just fine until you so rudely killed him!” He pushed Bruce away as fear threatened to cloud his already semi-foggy mind. He had been trying to avoid that. _Stress lead to facing his problems, and facing his problems lead to…_ he closed his eyes and shook himself.

“I mean real help! Like people! Finding something else that isn’t all of this!”

“I don’t need people!” he shouted suddenly becoming angry. _He didn’t. He never had. Why should he start now?_

“Tony you’re going to kill yourself,” he rubbed his face annoyed. He took a breath and then calmly tried a different method. “Just tell me what’s wrong?”

“There is nothing wrong,” Tony turned and stumbled a bit as he tried going to the far side of the room so the gamma-specialist wouldn’t see the tears now filling his eyes. _He didn’t need anyone. He could do this alone. Like all of his other problems…_

“Something has to be. You weren’t like this before.”

He scoffed, “and you knew me so well before?”

Banner blinked and felt his stomach clinch as the answer struck him in the face. “This is about New York.”

“No, it’s not.”

“This is about you going through the portal.”

Tony lunged at him, pushing him against the wall, and grabbing his collar tightly he hissed, “Don’t you fucking say that again!” before letting him go with a shove and headed towards the elevator. _Stress lead to facing his problems…facing his…lead to…_ He blinked hard several times and tried shaking himself out of that place. _He didn’t need anyone… he could…_

Banner stood there for a moment stunned. “Tony…I…we’re friends…you can ta–”

“No I can’t!” he yelled and fell to his knees, wrapping his hands over his face and trying to steady his breathing as his stomach clinched and his chest burned. _He didn’t need…facing his problems…anyone he could…stress lead to that place…_ Tony squeezed his eye shut and forced himself to take a deep breath. “Just – just l-leave me alone!” he tried weakly. _He didn’t… it lead to that place…_ A sob slipped out as his mind whirled against him, forcing his thoughts in the direction he was trying to force them away from.

“Tony…I just want to help,” he said softly coming up behind him. This was so out of character for him. Tony was always so collected, so confident, so charismatic…Bruce had always wondered what was under all of that. How many layers had he pulled over himself to keep the rest of the world out? This hopeless mess before him, panting and stuttering as he muttered broken fragments under his breath… was this who he was? When Bruce had thought about what lived behind those masks, he had never thought that the real Tony Stark was just as fucked up as the rest of them.

 _Of course he is…_ Banner realised now. What human being wouldn’t be after everything this poor man had survived through? The other guy stayed eerily quiet. He was waiting, Bruce knew that. Waiting and watching, as always. He was trying to puzzle out what to do to comfort a friend. Both of them never had any friends, and the Hulk wasn't known for bringing smiles and rainbows to brighten anyone’s day. This was foreign territory and deep down Bruce was scared.

He reached out to him, “Tony please let me help you?”

Something changed within the angle of the billionaire’s body. His tone grew sharp, “Ha! How can you?” It brought Banner up short a few feet behind him. The other guy tugged on the back of his mind, his instincts telling him danger was quickly approaching, yet Bruce could not find it within his heart to abandon his friend. “ _You_ don’t remember it because every time _you_ change you supress what you see into _that_ _thing_. You use your greatest fuck up to cover up all of your other fuck ups!”

Banner was rendered speechless. He saw the Stark’s body relax and then tense again as he realised what he had just said. They stood in that heavy awkward silence for several moments before Tony turned slightly; panic and an edge of regret in his voice, “I…I don’t mean–”

That was the spark. The other guy suddenly jumped up and grew angry. “Don’t! Just!” he took a deep breath and a step back trying to keep his cool. He decided not looking at the billionaire was the best option. He turned away, quickly gathering up the bottles, and ignored the feeling of his spine being pulled out his body as he raced toward the elevator. He had to get away before the other guy hurt him.

“Bruce!” Tony pleaded going after him. “Bruce! I was just –” but before he could get up and trip toward the lift, the doors had already closed. He growled frustrated and pulled at his hair, flopping on the floor before the metal doors and wishing he had been more careful. He was such a fuck up! How dare he belittle others for their simple and honest mistakes when he had made so many of his own on purpose? “I’m sorry…” he whispered and couldn’t hold back the tears, he’d been trying to supress, any longer. _He didn’t need anyone…stress lead to facing his problems….facing his problems lead to…_

“I’m sorry!” he shouted and let his anguish go into the carpet. He deserved this misery. _Stress lead to facing his problems…facing his problems lead to…_ He should have never fallen out of that portal…he just didn’t want to die there alone. He never realised how badly he had needed anyone before.

\-------------------------------------------------

 _Go back!_ the other guy roared in his mind.

“No,” he said firmly.

_Punch him! No friend says that to us!_

“Quiet!” he hissed and pressed his hand to his forehead. “Tony didn’t mean it. Other people have said worse.” The other guy continued to rattle around in his head as Bruce walked out of the elevator. He stumbled a moment and growled trying to keep a firm grip on himself. He wasn’t going to let the other guy win. Loki hadn’t woken up, it was important that they stick with the plan.

 “Everything alright?” Steve, who was setting a bowl of chips on the coffee table in the community living room, asked. Banner looked away and rested his head against the wall as the other guy settled down a bit. He knew the Hulk wouldn’t risk changing in front of the captain, he respected him too much. Rogers frowned looking at the bottles and then pointed to them. “Stark?”

“Yeah…” he said quietly. Taking a deep breath he went into the kitchen to dispose of them.

“Is he –”

“I don’t care!” The Hulk managed out before Bruce could say anything.

The scientist’s sharp tone took Steve by surprise. He stood there for a second unsure of what to do or say. He could only stand there and watch him rinse out the glass containers in the sink before tossing them into the recycling bin. That hadn’t been Banner for sure, and he decided not mentioning anything involving Stark as the best choice for now. He opted for something friendly and pretty mundane, “I’m making pizza bagels. Want to help?”

“I…don’t think I should,”

“Would you like me to tell you when they’re done?”

Banner gripped the side of the counter and shook his head. “No,” he gritted out.

Steve wet his lips and took a few cautious steps towards him, taking note that Bruce tensed up at his approach. “JARVIS told me about this room. It’s a special training room, built for you. If you…need to let off some steam or need a quiet place to think –”

“I should just go to the second prison Stark built for me? I got it!” He turned and nodded his head not looking up at the soldier, “I’m a danger. You’re uncomfortable. I should remove myself because when I’m upset I’m prone to destroying things.”

“That’s not what I’m suggesting.”

“Then what are you saying!?” he shouted taking a step at him and then backing off quickly covering his face. “I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” he said, his voice becoming quieter with each apology.

Steve stood his ground and remained calm. It was about time someone helped Bruce. He really was the only one who was still struggling to hide what he was going through. Everyone else had either opened up to someone or had begun too. Well…everyone but Tony, and Steve had his suspicions that that wouldn’t happen for a while. His main priority right now wasn’t the genius inventor, it was Bruce. He needed the most help. Not because he could cause the most damage if he didn’t get it soon, but because he deserved it.

“We all need alone time. You’ve been so busy, and under a lot of stress. You’ve pretty much saved all of our asses. You formed the main parts of the plan to leave, you fixed Clint, you’re curing Loki, and you’ve barely slept or eaten during the whole ordeal. Take a day?”

“I can’t…”

“Try. For your sanity and sake,” he sternly said putting his hands on his hips. Banner looked at him, anxiety slipping from his face into mirth. “What?”

“You look like an angry trophy wife,” he chuckled softly.

Steve looked down at the pink flowery apron around his waist confused. “Natasha gave it to me so I wouldn’t make a mess all over my clothes.”

“It’s pink,” Bruce snickered into his hands as he doubled over unable to stop the laughter that bubbled up inside of him.

“So?”

“The other guy finds it unmanly,” he managed to explain as he tried keeping himself together.

“That’s a manly colour! My mother used to dress me in pink.”

“Yeah back then, but this is 2012.”

“America is the only country that colour codes gender,” he pointed a wooden spoon at the gamma-specialist, swaying his hip to one side and fixed him with an ‘ _I-mean-business_ ’ stare.

Banner stopped and squinted his eyes at him, “Where did you get that spoon?”

Steve dropped the mother hen act and looked at it before innocently explaining, “I’ve had it. I was going to make brownies after setting out snacks in case anyone was hungry.”

Bruce lost it. He ended up in tears on the floor of the kitchen holding his sides as him and the big guy roared with laughter together. Steve would have normally taken offence or felt embarrassed, but the overwhelming sense of carefree joy his friend was experiencing held him back from telling him off or leaving. If the poor man needed a laugh, then Steve figured he could be his clown.

“Alright,” he smiled and stepped into the kitchen to look down at the grown adult curled up giggling into his hands like a child. “Do you want pizza bagels or not?”

Banner looked at him for a moment and then burst into another fit of laughs.

\-------------------------------------------------

“So…” Clint said after he had thrown back his vitamins and began drinking the can of juice. She raised an eyebrow questioningly at him. “Are we okay?”

Natasha sighed heavily pretending to be annoyed and looked out the window before answering, “Yeah…we’re cool.”

“Great!”

“But _he_ isn’t.”

Barton didn’t even have to ask who she was referring too. He finished the last of his orange juice and nodded his head, absently picking at the buttered toast on his plate. “I didn’t expect you too right away, or even at all.”

“Why?” she dared to ask knowing she would hate any answer that would follow it. He could confide in her, sure, but that didn’t mean she had to like any of it.

“I don’t know…” Clint said honestly with a shrug and leaned back in his seat. “I just know that when I was under the Tesseract’s control,” he saw her flinch, but continued on, crossing his arms before his chest, “that I saw a side of him that no one has seen…maybe even himself.”

“Yeah we all saw a side of him,” she scoffed and crossed her own arms.

He shook his head. “I saw a scared being that was alone in the world and used power as a mask to cover up his self-hatred and fear.” He frowned and thought about it. “I don’t think he was serious about taking over the world. In the end…before we were separated and my mind ‘recalibrated’…it felt…it felt like his heart wasn’t in it, y’know?” he looked at her and she glared back at him.

“No, I don’t.”

“Tash,” he sighed exasperated. “I want to help him. If you took the time to see past the crazy you’d understand.”

“Some would probably describe your behaviour as ‘Stockholm Syndrome’.”

“I don’t have ‘Stockholm Syndrome’. If I did I would have continued to help him after I regained my free-will. I think the term you’re looking for is ‘Lima Syndrome’. He confessed to me, offhandedly once, that he didn’t care about earth, he just wished to find a place that would accept him, and if it meant forcing people too, then,” he stopped and shook himself. “I’m getting off topic, we could argue about this forever, but it’s never going to change unless you hear it from him. Tasha,” he said her name quietly and leaned forward to reach across the table for her. She hesitated a moment before accepting his hands. “You don’t have to like the guy…all I’m asking is that you give him a chance. Like I did for you?”

She looked at him then: hating and loving him in an instant. All she could do was nod her head once. It was enough to make him smile, pearly teeth and all. “I’m sleeping with Steve.” She said knowing that would crush his small victory. The tension that had bled out of him moments before returned, making his face harden and his grip on her hands tightened a little.

“What?” he voice was sharp and low.

Natasha took a breath and said again, “I’m sleeping with Steve.”

“Like, same bed to fight away the monsters in your closet?”

“Like naked hot rough sex.”

“Too…fight away the monsters in your closet…?”

“Oh you’re a child!” she huffed pushing his hands away and leaned back in her chair, knowing the anger he felt a moment before was gone.

Clint smiled at her and laughed deviously. “Is he good?”

She snorted. “Jealous?”

“I knew he’d be. No one has an ass like that and is not a wild one in bed.” She rolled her eyes and rubbed at her temple, pretending to have a headache. “Scale of one to ten, how good?”

“You’re incorrigible,” she sighed holding back a pleased smile as the ease of their former relationship settled back around them.

“Don’t leave my unfulfilled fantasies floundering in the dark,” he begged. “You know I’ve been crushing on him since they found him on ice!”

Romanoff regarded him for a moment before she let a satisfied grin roll across her lips. It was true. Ever since Rogers had been brought into S.H.I.E.L.D. custody and care, Clint had been making remarks, ranging from eye-roll worthy to incredibly inappropriate even for the bedroom. She remembered hating the soldier, at one point, because she was just so fed up with having to hear about Clint wondering the size of his package or if he’d swap roles during sex.

Over the many years of their friendship, Natasha had learned how to tune out almost all comments regarding any gender that Barton had found worth his attention. No matter how much she hated him for being embarrassing at times, she could never rudely tell him to shut up about it. It was almost a game for him. What thing would come out of his mouth and shock those around? Blush or grimace worthy? And no matter how old they became Clint would still have the heart of a child.

Well now was her turn. For all of those years of having to hear about wanting to suck someone’s dick or bang a girl senseless in the bathroom, this was her time to be the tease. Her form of ultimate victory came in one word: “Fifteen.”

He mouthed the number slowly with a look of shock and wonderment upon his face before he glared at her and pointed a finger accusingly. “You’re lying to just rile me up!”

“Nope, on my honour,” she held her hand to her heart.

He became excited, “Like Epcot fireworks?”

“Better,”

“Chocolate on your period good?”

“Warmer,”

“Toe-curling sex?”

“Getting closer,”

“Cool-ranch Doritos smothered in cheese and pepperoni with a basket of waffle-fries on the side?” She gave him an ‘ _oh-please_ ’ look. He held his hands up in surrendering apology, “Okay, that one is my top level for good. Help me out!” he finished in a whine.

She took a moment to pretend to think about it, watching him squirm impatiently, knowing his imagination was in overdrive already. She couldn’t keep the smile from her lips, “Like, all of those wrapped into one plus a warm bubble bath, a good massage, and a lazy Sunday morning in watching _The Breakfast Club_ and eating chocolate chip and blueberry pancakes.”

Clint pounded his fist gently on the table and groaned, biting his lower lip as he sat back in his chair. “I knew it!” he pointed a finger at her, “What did I tell you? You said he wasn’t cute, and I said you’d see it my way.”

“Yeah, well who got him in the end?”

“You think he’d mind if we shared him? I’m sure he’s always wanted a three way. Every guy harbours a deep secret desire for a three way.”

Natasha could only roll her eyes again in response. There it was. The sign she’d been waiting for that said Clint was still the same. It made her heart lighten, and yet there was still something weighing it down. She nodded her head toward the motionless figure on the bed a bit bitterly, “And what about _him_?” The second the words left her mouth she regretting them. Why did she have to say things that ruined the moment?

It didn’t seem to affect him negatively though. Clint looked over, a dark and deviously wicked grin spreading over his face. “Well…I guess you’ll have to wait and find out what my answer to that would be.”

“You’re… ridiculous,” she said lightly, unable to stop the grimace that found its way to her face as her stomach clinched uneasy. Just as fast as her old Barton had appeared he was already fading. Or was he? She pushed that fear down and smoothed her expression out.

“No,” he said looking at her, “asking for details would be ridiculous. Which by the way, you can tell me later.”

She knew that one was coming. “Why later?”

“Because Dora is coming on soon,” he gave her the ‘duh’ face and raced to activate the TV. Once more, she was left with nothing to do but roll her eyes and try to supress a smile. Yes. This was still her Barton. No matter what happened from that point on she would never let herself doubt it again.

\-------------------------------------------------

Morales kicked over a charred piece of wood and looked around the field. The farmer was explaining what he’d witnessed, along with the damage costs, and blah blah. He didn’t really have her interest until he held up a copy of a check.

“And then I found this in my mailbox! Got some guy’s signature and looks all fancy. Only problem is I don’t know who or what shield is. Is it an electric company?”

She went up and snatched it out of his hand, ignoring his startled cry she examined it. There it was: the seal, the layout, the colour and shape of their specialised checks, and right in the bottom corner, in elegant script: Steven G. Rogers. The date was from a week ago. She flipped opened her phone and hit the three for her speed dial.

“Hello?”

“Coulson?”

“Yeah?” He sounded tired. Must have found whatever he was looking for.

“We found the jet.”

“Where are you?”

“A small farm couple miles outside of Newburgh; crashed a barn. The jet is totalled. They left a check. Farmer cashed it two days ago. Date is from a week back.”

“I’ll call Fury. You all stay around there until I tell you to move.”

She frowned. “What?”

“You heard me.”

“There is nothing around here for several miles.”

“Now Morales, I thought you loved camping?”

She inhaled sharply, her anger sudden and swift, “Fuck you.”

“I’ll keep in touch.”

The line went dead before she could say anything more. She bit back the stream of curses that had risen to her lips and took a deep breath, composing herself. Turning, she held out the copy to the farmer and smiled sweetly, “I am very sorry sir. Our company was recently doing an experiment to send probes out into space. We’ve been working on a more cost effective way to help the astronauts out. I’m afraid this one’s engine failed. One of our engineers told us were to find it and placed a check for compensation. We’ve been very busy and only just found the time to come out here and retrieve it today.”

The farmer blinked at her, his face the same neutral frown as it had been when he was explaining his troubles before, “science stuff, aye?”

“Yes. Was the amount sufficient for the damage it created?”

“Yeah, it’ll do.”

“We can give you more if you –”

“We’re fine. The barn was old, the money can build us a new one, and thankfully it didn’t burn the crop.” He sighed and wistfully added, “not that they are much good, but we’ll manage. Thank you though. I’m sorry your whatermagigger thing didn’t make it.”

Ali was taken aback by the old man’s stubborn kindness. Suddenly her over sugar-coated words seemed incredibly false and made her ashamed to be lying to him. “Oh…thank you.” She said slowly before she found her momentum and fire again. “We know it won’t happen again. We’ll get it out of the way and clean up this mess now.”

He nodded and refolded the paper to stuff in his pocket. “I hope you folks have a good day.”

“Uh, you too.” She waved as he headed back to his tractor and took off.

Valarie came up next to her. “The clean-up crew has been contacted. We’re searching the area for any clues as to which direction they went.”

Ali sighed, shaking off her guilt, and turned to her, “get an order out for camping gear. We’re grounded.” The girl nodded and headed off to do as she was instructed. Morales looked back down at her phone and shook her head worried. “Come on Phil, what are you keeping from me?” she whispered hoping it wasn’t as awful as she feared it was.

\-------------------------------------------------

“So are you ready to tell me about what happened?”

“Life, and all of its miserable problems,” Banner said towelling off his face and hair as he stepped out of the showers dressed in baggy sweats and a grey jacket. Steve was sitting off to the side of a gaping hole in the ground. The room was a wreck, but it was secure and, apart from the floor being trashed and the walls holding several large dents, nothing else was destroyed.

After finally getting the scientist off the kitchen tiles, and convincing him to let off a little steam in the specially designed room underground, Steve finished his wifely duties and had gone with Bruce to the lower levels. He had promised not leave him alone down there. The soldier had stood waiting off in the side room, while the Hulk raged, smashed, and threw himself around until he finally collapsed back into Bruce.

It had taken the better part of the day, but it was worth it in the end. When Tony had said he fitted the place to accommodate everyone he really meant it. It was pretty amazing all he had done in the short amount of time he had, from the Shawarma break to busting out of the carrier, but Banner was grateful he had made this space for him.

“Yours or his?”

“Bit of both, but more of his,” he sighed sitting next to him to put on his socks.

“Is it involving Loki?”

“Not really. Pepper told me he’s been having problems sleeping and retaining information; more so than usual for him. I mentioned the drinking the other day and she said he was normally really good at keeping things to a minimum, but I think after this whole deal with the Chitauri, and Phil’s…” He stopped, glaring at the floor and then crossed his legs.

Steve understood his anger and sadness all too well. They had been so busy with saving the world; interrogating their enemies; trying to get their lives back together; clean up the city; and then everything involving rescuing Clint and Loki….no one had properly taken time to grieve in their own ways. They were all doomed; irresponsibly doomed. All of them just walking around, stressed and furious at the world and each other; holding everything in until it collapsed on top of them. They were all waiting for one of them to really break so they wouldn’t feel so guilty that they were also holding on by a thin thread.

“Makes me wish I could drown my sorrows,” Rogers muttered and looked at Banner who nodded in agreement.

“Yeah, me too. The other guy’s metabolism burns it up before it gets halfway down my throat; unless I drink a large amount of it in one go.”

“I wasn’t going to say anything, but I’ve often wondered if that was why you eat so much.”

Bruce rubbed the back of his neck, “Yeah, sometimes. I’m technically feeding two, and one of them is a bottomless black hole.” The other guy nudged the side of his mind, grumpy at having a joke made at his expense.

“Well warn me next time, alright? I’ll take you to this seafood place where if you eat their special in under thirty minutes you get a prize.”

“Oh I like seafood,” Banner took the glasses Steve handed him and put them on his face. “I think the other guy likes it too.”

“Yeah? Does he like spicy? Natasha was telling me about a noodle place with a dish called ‘the Fire Bomb’.”

“What do you get from that?”

“A trip to the hospital for a normal person, but apparently free meals for the rest of the year if you survive and finish it all,”

“Looks like we’re going to have to scope the place out,” he said a bit cheery as he got up to slide his feet into a pair of slippers he’d found in the locker room. He held out his hand and helped the soldier rise. “We do have to start doing one thing though,”

“What’s that?”

“We can’t have the food network channel on all the time. It’s starting to make me want to go out and eat in front of people.” He pushed the button on the wall to let the special elevator descend from the ceiling.

“You eat in front of us, what’s the problem?”

“Not really. I wait until people leave the table, or later on in the evening when no one is around, before I let go.”

“So you’re a rage _and_ food consuming monster?” Rogers half joked stepping onto the lift.

“Yes, yes I am. We love food and it makes the both of us angry when we can’t have it.” Banner followed and pushed the button for the upper level.

“That’s why you’re always angry.”

“Glutton to the core,”

“Your secret is safe with me.”

“Yeah no more bringing snacks on missions. You’ll tame my inner beast. Then I’ll be useless.”

“No harm in bringing any just in case,”

“And risk me punching your lights out to get them? Then I’ll end up like a fat content house cat who doesn’t want to do anything.”

“We’ll have Thor hang on to them.”

“Thor’ll eat them, and then I _really_ would have to punch his lights out.”

“You’d punch him anyways,”

“Yeah, but that’s only because his face is so…punchable.”

They looked at each other and then started laughing as they rose back to the higher levels.

“Are you taking first shift?” Steve asked once their mirth subsided.

“I don’t think I’ll make first shift. Would you mind, or do you have plans with Romanoff?”

Rogers blushed and looked down at his feet, “No, n-not really.” Banner gave him a knowing look which Steve could feel. It made his face heat up more. He avoided his gaze. “I’ll take first shift. It shouldn’t be too hard.”

“No it won’t; I’ve set JARVIS to do most of the main work.”

The doors opened and they both exited the lift and continued toward the far end of the hall.

“The way this place is set up is strange.”

“Yeah,” Bruce sighed. “Consider the architect.”

“I thought he was a genius?”

“Genius doesn’t equal sane.”

Steve shrugged, “true.”

They made it to the medical room and opened the door. Empty. Just Loki lying still with the lights dimmed and the machines softly beeping.

“Think he’s with Natasha?” Bruce asked as they walked into the room.

“No, she knows better than to take him too far at this time of the day,” he frowned and then went in to check the bathroom. Empty as well. “JARVIS?”

“Yes, sir?”

“Would you mind telling us were Natasha and Clint are?”

“Agent Natasha Romanoff is currently on her floor with Agent Clinton Barton.”

“Thank you,” Banner sighed relieved as he went to plug in instructions to the computer.

“No problem. Would either of you require anything further?”

“No,” Steve said rubbing his face slightly irritated. He looked at the scientist and held out his hands before flopping them down at his sides.

“She must have brought him there earlier? It doesn’t seem like anyone has entered this room in a while.” Banner commented checking the logs.

“I…I guess that means things are back to normal?”

“I guess,” he shrugged and went to retrieve the abandoned tray on the small table.

Steve looked at Loki. “He looks better today.”

“He did four days ago too…” Bruce said quietly as he brushed the toast crumbs off of the table and onto the tray.

“I…I don’t know what to do about him,” Steve whispered honestly.

“None of us do,” he said leaning against the armrest. “We just have to wait.”

“What if he never wakes up?”

“Since Clint started visiting him again his recovery has skyrocketed. A few days ago he could have died, now he might wake up tonight or tomorrow.”

Steve swallowed. “I don’t know how I feel about him waking up tonight.”

Banner sighed heavily. “I would prefer Natasha and Thor to not be here.”

“Thor won’t hear of that and neither will she if Clint is in the room.”

“I know, but his presence might irk Loki and I don’t know if he’ll be like a normal…thing and be tired and groggy or he’ll just jump right up and attack.” He shrugged muttering, “Probably the latter.”

“Latter,” Steve agreed. “But I hope the first.”

“Yes…and I don’t even know what she would do.” Banner looked at his friend for a clue.

“I don’t have an answer to that. I try and steer clear of talking about him.” Rogers confessed helplessly and then rubbed his hands on his thighs taking a deep breath. “I guess I’ll go get Clint and bring him back here safely. I’ll call you in a few hours?”

“Yeah,” he straightened and went to Loki’s side. “I’ll finish setting things up, just in case, and then I think…I think I’m going to talk to Tony.”

Steve nodded and gave him a supportive smile, “Things will work out.”

“I know.”

“Do you want me to take care of that?” he gestured to the tray, and to his mild disappointment, saw remains of food on it.

“No I can do it. Thank you though,”

“Okay, good night.”

“Night,” he muttered and began checking Loki’s vitals.

Rogers turned and left the room, making his way to the elevator. When he stepped off at Natasha’s he found the two snuggled up on the couch with a giant blanket. She was sitting up with her legs resting out on the coffee table and Clint had his head in her lap. The TV was on, the volume down, but the lights flashed in the dark room as two people smiled and held up objects for the camera. There were numbers all over the screen and the woman had way too much make-up on. She kept lifting a large diamond to her face and smiling with a creepy stare at the camera.

Steve shook his head and went over quietly, trying carefully to extract the archer from Romanoff; however her senses were on high alert and her reflexes were fast. Her hand snapped out and grabbed him by the throat before her eyes were even opened.

“It’s okay,” he managed and swallowed as his air supply was slowly cut off. “It’s me.”

“Oh!” she let go and looked around as her mind cleared from the bizarre dream she’d been having. “Steve? I’m…I’m sorry.”

“You’re fine,” he smiled at her before he continued to try and wake Clint. “Hey, Clint?”

“If he wakes up right now, I’ll be shocked,” she laughed and rubbed her face with a yawn. “We went for a small tour and he ate a thing of bacon plus some bagel bites. I’m pretty sure he’s done for the night.”

“Bacon and bagel bites, that’s it?” he laughed gently lifting the archer from the couch.

“Clint doesn’t need a lot to be happy.” She stretched and pulled the blanket up to her chin and snuggled down. “Although he wouldn’t finish his breakfast.”

“I saw that.”

She yawned again, “You made the eggs wrong.”

“What?”

Natasha chuckled sleepily as she mumbled, “he’s a child, remember? Kids like scrambled eggs.”

“I’ll keep that in mind for tomorrow.”

“And syrup. He likes to add some over his eggs.”

“That’s…”

“Gross?”

“I have no room to judge.”

“He’s a weird dude…” she shrugged and tried stifling another yawn.

Steve laughed and adjusted the way Clint lay in his arms. “I’m going to take him back to his ro–”

“His or Loki’s?”

He didn’t miss the edge to her tone, even though her face was completely serene and her eyes were closed again. “Their…room,” he swallowed looking down at Clint. “I guess…it’s their room now.”

“Okay,” she shifted to set her head against the armrest. “Hurry back to me.”

“I’m taking the first shift.” Natasha grumbled and moved under the blanket with an annoyed frown. “Bruce needs the rest.”

“Have Tony do it,” she pouted.

“Tony’s…got his own thing to work out.”

“Then Thor,”

“Thor wouldn’t know what to do if something were to happen again.”

“And you do?” she cracked an eye to look up at him, her playful nature giving over to quiet jealous contempt.

Steve sighed helplessly, “I’ll only be gone for a short time.” She rolled over to face away from him still displeased. “You can come if you’d like?”

“I’ve had enough of being in that room, I’d rather not.”

Steve leaned forward carefully and kissed the top of her head. “I’ll make it up to you.”

“You already owe me,” she mumbled stubbornly.

He smiled, “then I guess I better make double sure that whatever you ask of me is twice as good.”

“Fudge brownies,” she sighed wiggling a bit to get comfortable. “All like the centre, gooey and delicious: a dozen of them, no crust.”

He laughed quietly, “Alright, I’ll get to work on it right away.” He straightened again, checked to make sure Barton was still out, and he was heavily gone by the sound of his soft snoring, before finally heading for the lift. “I’ll be back in a few hours.”

Natasha waited still and silent. When she heard the doors close she sighed sadly and rolled over holding herself close. Her blanket became a shield to shelter her confused heart and angry mind. The spot Steve had kissed tingled still with his strength and support; a soft gentle reminder that she wasn’t alone any longer. She ran her fingers through her hair, already missing Clint’s heavy weight and comfort on her body.

Damn did she hate Loki. The fear of him taking away everything good she had was rising within her. She swallowed it down and took a breath, remembering what she’d promised Clint. She said she’d at least give him a chance. That was all. She didn’t have to be friends, she didn’t have to like him, she just had to give him a chance, and then… Then what?

Then she’d have to wait and see…

\-------------------------------------------------

Bruce pushed the button to the elevator and waited, chewing on his lower lip as he thought of what to say to Tony when he saw him again.

 _Punch him_. The other guy suggested still unhappy.

_No._

_Kick him._

_No._

_Rip his arms off!_ He shouted becoming restless.

 _NO!_ he squeezed his eyes shut and covered his ears, falling against the wall as the other guy roared his displeasure within his mind. _Please listen._ He begged and waited until the other voice quieted down.

 _Speak,_ it demanded impatiently.

_Tony is a friend._

_HE MADE US ANGRY!_ The other guy beat his fists against his chest.

_Yes, yes he did. And what he said was very rude and hurtful, but we’ve done the same._

_HE SHOULDN’T HAVE –_

_STOP!_ He covered his face with his hands. _Just stop! He is not an enemy. He is a friend! He is the only person who has spoken in favour of us and on our behalf when Fury wanted us locked up again. He knew we’d show up for the battle and never said anything mean._

 _Never until today!_ Hulk ragged.

_There is no excuse other than he was drinking._

_No excuse!_

_His drinking is no different than us._

Hulk was silent for a moment before he gruffly demanded, _explain!_

_There are two sides to us: you and myself. When Tony drinks, he develops two sides: his usual charismatic confident self and then a rude self-hating vindictive self._

_So…he was angry?_

_Yes…_

_About?_

Banner sighed and shrugged resting his head against the wall; _I don’t know…I think it was about New York._

The Hulk considered this and then settled down in the base of his mind. _Then we can forgive him. If he can forgive us for smashing we can forgive him for this. But never again!_

 _Alright, fair enough…_ Banner waited until the feeling of the other guy receded to a dull ache in the back of his head, before slowly rising and entered the opened lift. He pushed the button to the billionaire’s level.

“Pardon me Dr. Banner,” JARVIS said coming over the speaker.

“Yes?”

“If you are looking for Anthony Stark, he is not in his apartments.”

Banner rubbed his face tiredly, “Where is he?”

“In yours,”

“Very well, please change course for mine.”

“As you wish,”

It took a split second and the doors opened to his level. The area was dark, but he could make out the silhouette of Stark standing near the giant windows along the far wall. The sky had turned golden in the evening light and the ocean looked inky black in the distance.

He turned slightly, “I…I want to apologise…for earlier.”

“Yeah?” Banner went to the end of the wall and turned the lights on.

Tony squinted and turned his head back toward the view of the city. “The things I said…I was way out of line.”

“You were drunk.” He shrugged nonchalantly looking down at the floor.

“It was uncalled for,”

“Alcohol does that to people.

“Bruce…” The way Tony’s voice sounded made the scientist look over at him. It was small, helpless…scared. It made his insides twist.

The billionaire turned around to look at him, “I have a problem,” he inhaled and covered his face with his hand turning away quickly as his courage failed him.

“Hey, hey,” he came running over and put his hands on Tony’s shoulders. “It’s okay.”

“I-I don’t kn-know what’s w-wrong with me,” he fell to his knees as the familiar terrifying feeling came over him. It was as if he were trapped in a room filling quickly up with water. He couldn’t breathe, he could get away, the ceiling was spinning and he could see the stars. The ships, the monsters, the pressure of the explosive impact of the nuke, the fire in his chest… Tony squeezed his eyes shut and felt Banner’s hands on his back. The touch helped him focus and breathe again. He took a moment, gripping onto the feeling of Bruce’s touch to ground himself. “I-I can’t sleep, I can’t eat, and now I-I can’t drink. Everything makes my problems worse.” He felt several tears slip from his eyes and his chest seized up again.

“You’re just under a lot of st–”

“It’s New York…” he whispered wiping his face to hide his tears from Bruce. “I don’t want anyone to know. I didn’t want to tell you or Pepper, because I didn’t want to burden anyone with this shit.”

“This shit obviously isn’t something you can do alone,” Bruce managed to arrange them so they were seated facing opposite each other. “I think you need a vacation.”

“I don’t want to do anything,” he said pitifully.

“No, just listen. When Pepper comes for her visit, you can show off the progress of the repairs and expansions on the mansion, but when she leaves, you leave with her.”

“Bruce I –”

“I don’t want to hear it Tony.” Banner stated in a final tone. “As your friend, you need this. As a jack of all trades, you need this. Speaking for the other guy, you better do this.”

Tony looked up at him, “But what if there is a bad guy or –”

“There are half a dozen people you are leaving here, we can take care of it,” he smiled at him and gave his shoulder a reassuring squeeze. “Give yourself a break. Get away from this place. Spend time with Pepper. You owe her that.”

Tony nodded and wiped his face dry again. “Okay,” he sniffed and held out his hand with a pleading hopeful expression, “Are we still friends?”

Bruce smiled and pulled him into a quick bro-hug. “Yeah. We’re fine.”

\-------------------------------------------------

Thor walked along the roof in nothing but his pyjama pants and a thick blue sweater. He held a written letter and a photo within his right hand, both ignored as he continued to study the stars. He had taken to climbing the side of the building in the evenings when the skies promised to be clearest. He needed a place to think, a place that somewhat reminded him of home, a place not blocked away from the flow of the universe.

The heavens were so different here. So…far. They were beautiful still, but he felt so disconnected from the other realms. His chest ached as he tried searching the sky for his home. The lights from the city were too bright. The clouds were too thick. His heart became heavy.

He sighed looking at the picture. Jane’s beautiful smiling face greeted him. It only served to burden his troubles further. He sat down and continued to gaze at it. Where was she? How was she doing? Was she aware of what had occurred at the city? Did she know it was Loki? Was she upset at him for leaving her? Did she even miss him anymore? Had she stopped searching? She must have been so disappointed in him. He should have gone to see her the moment he had made it back to Midgard.

 _No…_ he shook his head. There was no point in letting his mind wander into that darkness, just as he wouldn’t let the regrets or ‘what if’s in when he thought of Loki, he could not entertain them when it came to Jane.

“Heimdall,” he said, still looking at the photograph of the one that warmed his heart. “If you are listening…if you can see…please…” he hesitated a moment. What should he say? Send a sign? Help? What could the guardian do for Thor? He swallowed and looked up at the skies again. “Please tell mother I am with Loki…he is…going to be fine. I won’t leave him. And…we love her.”

There were no answers for his words. No ripple of light or falling star; nothing but the usual twinkling and the noise of humanity from below. He pulled his knees to his chest and hugged them tightly as he went back to staring at the photo. Tony had promised they would re-establish contact with the outside world again soon. Yet how soon was still a mystery to everyone. The moment they could, however, he was going to find her.

“I have a promise to keep,” he mumbled to himself. “I have vows to fulfil and people to protect…” he looked back up, his eyes focusing on a particularly bright star. He felt warmth spread over him and he sighed, feeling much like a helpless child, “What do I do mother?”

 


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **A ginormous thank you so very much to everyone who commented, left messages via tumblr, or read the last two chapters (or any of them). I know starting off works with bad personal news isn't probably the best way to go about things, but I didn't want to leave and you all wondering what was going on. Extra thanks to Alice for overcoming her social phobias and posting for me! You are the best!  
> **  
>  Long bit of notes at the end.
> 
> All mistakes are my own. I don’t make money off of this; I just borrow the names of things and make up stuff that I hope will be well received. Thank you all so much, you all are wonderful! Please enjoy!
> 
> For those wondering: everyone religious enjoyed the church funeral (everyone not of this particular church's faith, left unscathed and well fed) and it went over well (great grandma didn't want a church service so I'm pretty sure she was rolling over in the urn during the whole thing). This was followed by the feasting and consumption of vast quantities of alcohol on the lake (almost everyone but the five super religious people, and I mean that's their thing, everyone grieves differently), while catcalling at some sexy looking beach going gentlemen, went fantastically! I think she would have enjoyed her after-party very much. I know I found a new rum that I intend to gift myself for Christmas xD. Rum Chata: it’s like warm cinnamon toast crunch milk or cinnamon roll icing. Delicious!

\----------------------16----------------------

He woke to the feel of floating through the air. Clint moved and found Steve’s composed face. “Rogers?” he rubbed his eyes.

“Sorry,” he whispered becoming embarrassed. “I just figured you’d be more comfortable in your bed. I was trying not to wake you, but you moved suddenly and I was worried I’d drop you. Do you want me to put you down?”

He cleared his throat slowly. “Yeah, I think I can make it the rest of the way.”

The solider nodded and set Clint’s feet down, yet kept his arms out to catch Barton if he lost his balance. “I didn’t mean to wake you,” he apologised again.

“You’re fine,” he took several steps forward before he wobbled and fell against the wall. “I guess I had too much excitement today,” he laughed as he gestured with one hand that it was alright for Steve to come help him. The soldier placed his arm around his waist and one of Clint’s arms around his neck. Taking most of his weight, he helped guide the archer the short distance down the hall.

“I’ll be good from here.” Clint said, moving away from Steve to lean against the doorframe.

Rogers let him go. “You sure?”

“Yeah,” he smiled sleepily and scratched his head as he activated the door. “The bed isn’t too far.”

Steve hesitated and then asked, “How is he?”

“He’ll be awake probably tomorrow.”

He frowned. “How do you know that?”

Clint shrugged as he struggled to keep his eyes opened, “I just do…” he tapped his finger to his chest yawning.

Rogers was still confused, but he nodded again and whispered, “I’ll leave you to sleep. Good night,”

“Night…” he waved and entered the dim room.

Steve turned and pretended to move down the hall as the door closed. He leaned against the wall. _Fifteen minutes should do,_ he sighed putting his hands into his pockets as he patiently waited.

Inside, Clint managed to find his way to the bed. He pulled back the top layer of covers and, careful of Loki and the wires around him, wiggled down beside him, resting his ear to the god’s heart and relaxed into the warmth and comfort of the mattress. “Night…” Barton breathed softly as he contently drifted away with the feeling of Loki’s fingers in his hair and the sound of his strong steady heart.

Steve activated the door several minutes later and stood there for a time to see if Clint had really fallen asleep or not. When he didn’t move, Rogers took a few steps in and picked up his giant sketch pad, where he’d left it earlier in the day, and snuck to the chair on the other side of the room. He switched on the tiny clip light Natasha had bought for him and unzipped the bag of pencils so he could begin adding details and shading to the piece he was working on.

It was nothing special, not that he thought any of his works were special, but Natasha had seen it and demanded he finish it. It was the view of the arctic right before he crashed. He could remember everything so clearly. It had been cold…

He shivered, stopping what he was doing and shut his eyes. Pressing his hand over his face he took a deep breath, forcing his mind to focus. When he opened them again his gaze fell to the sleeping pair on the bed.

It must have been true…what Thor had said to them in the Helicarrier. It was the only way he could explain Clint’s behaviour. Everyone had been thinking it, no one wanted to say it again…well except for Natasha, but Steve had been very careful and really good at bribing her to not bring any of it up again until Clint felt it was time. He knew she was bitter about it all. Who wouldn’t be? A close love and trusted friend sleeping with the enemy voluntarily wouldn’t sit well with anyone. With her, it dug deep under her skin. He could tell by how she looked at the injured god; her movements after someone brought him up in conversation; the way she stood close and watched Clint.

Her love for the archer was profound and she tried very hard to not wear it on her sleeve. It was obvious. It had been from the moment he caught her looking at files of him during the New York incident. She was an open book once you knew were the cracks in her smooth tough façade were. Natasha and he had shared many long conversations on the subject of her and Clint, and all signs indicated the feelings she had for him were unbreakable. She would follow and protect him no matter what side he chose to stay on. Leaving him would kill her. Perhaps not physically, but emotionally she would have to become a shell of her former self in order to cope.

Steve found he was almost jealous at times because of it. He knew Clint wasn’t a threat; no both of them were pretty evenly matched, until you factored Natasha into that fighting equation, yet he couldn’t help but wonder if they had ever been more. It didn’t seem as though they had done anything physically intimate, as much as he was sure Natasha had wanted to at one point, but that didn’t mean it could have never happened. She had been in love with Barton for a long time, longer than maybe Barton had even known. If he knew at all.

He felt like the third wheel on a messed up cart: his wheel touching Natasha’s; hers connecting to Clint’s; and his somehow linking up to Loki’s hanging off on the side. There was something going on between the archer and the crazy alien god. The looks Clint gave him were the ones Natasha used to give Barton when they had first arrived at the mansion. Still sometimes did.

Steve sighed and rubbed his forehead. It was none of his business what the archer did with his life. It was his business, however, if Barton put anyone Steve cared for in danger, because of his reckless disregard for caution and reason. Then again it was none of his business and he wasn’t going to make it his so long as Loki behaved.

He was tired of thinking about those two. The subject caused everyone a headache, and he knew things would only get worse once he woke. Steve hoped things would settle down after a while, but honestly he was not looking forward to waiting for that time to come.

Looking back down at the page he tried thinking of what colours to use. White: true pure white. Blue: the richest he’d ever seen. Light yellow, dusty pink, pale orange: the sun had tinted the clouds…grey…white…so much white…then darkness.

He rubbed his face again. He had just been mindlessly sketching when this mess had happened. He didn’t even want to finish it now. Natasha said he should. She said it would make him feel better…he felt worse. Yet Natasha’s face when she saw the crude pencil lines… The sadness wasn’t her own; it was for him. An emptiness…the look of one trying to reach out and comfort another. Not wanting him to share his pain alone…the need to understand…

_“There’s not going to be a safe landing…I gotta put her in the water.”_

_“Please don’t do this. We have time. We can work it out.” Her voice sounded strained, as if she were trying not to panic. She had never liked panicking. Worrying over things had never been her forte. Practical and strong: those were the things he loved most about her._

_“Peggy…this is my choice.” He had wanted the last image he’d ever see to be her face. He set his compass on the dash and firmly griped the controls. “Peggy?”_

_“I’m here.”_

_He didn’t know what to say. What would be the best thing to tell someone you loved? How do you say goodbye? How could he… Steve swallowed, “I’m gonna need a rain check on that dance.”_

_There was a pause…she must have been crying. “All right.” He hated when she cried. “A week, next Saturday at the Stork Club.”_

_Her hope was like a knife to his chest, but he knew what he was doing to her was much worse. “You got it.”_

_“8 o’clock on the dot. Don’t you dare be late. Understood?”_

_He couldn’t take his eyes off of the scene in front of him. He wanted to turn his gaze to look at her picture. He wished he could see her face. Hold her. Let her know things were going to be alright. “You know, I still don’t know how to dance.” He was scared._

_“I’ll show you how. Just be there.” There it was…that small laughing sound she made when she was trying to keep calm. That should have been his job. He should have been the one to comfort her._

_“We’ll have the band play something slow.”_

_He wished he was there with her. Make her smile. He could envision their date though: her in a beautiful navy blue and white polka-dotted dress; her hair swept back from her face, with rolls off to the side, and a smooth pompadour, just for extra style. He’d bring her a gift. A clip, shaped like a star, shinning with tons of diamonds. He would search the world for it and pay any expense to give her that. Her make-up and bright red lipstick perfect…her smile kind and modest…she looked radiant. And when they danced? She was strong and graceful in everything else she did in life, why couldn’t the same be expected?_

_“I’d hate to step on –” The lights in the craft flickered and then went out. “…your feet…” he finished, even though he knew she couldn’t hear him. He glanced down at her picture once more and remembered the first time they kissed. The first night they shared together. He had hoped…the idea had been stupid…but when the war was over…when they won…he had wanted to take her to a baseball game. Take her bowling, to the cinema, to the park, to the beach. He had wanted to walk along the shore with her, hand in hand, gaze up at the stars and make wishes. He had even dared the thought of asking her to…_

_The lights flared once more. “Steve?” her voice came over in fuzzy garbled bits. “Steve?” He could tell her. This was it. “Steve?” She was sobbing. He’d fix this. He’d make this better._

_“Peggy?” He needed to tell her. “Peggy!” he shouted, but it was too late. The systems were died again and he was a heartbeat away from the ice. Had she even heard him? “I love you…” he whispered and closed his eyes before the sound of glass shattering and the slow spray of frigid water washed over him._

He felt a touch on his shoulder and he jerked upright, knocking the pad of paper and his tools to the floor.

“It’s okay,” a hand smoothed over his forehead and he blinked trying to adjust his eyes in the near darkness. A light had been turned on near the far wall…he didn’t remember doing that. “I’m here.”

“Imgonneed…a check on that rain dan…ce…” he slurred trying to get up. His mind was foggy; there was too much pressure on his chest. He was slowly being crushed against the ice. It was too cold. He couldn’t breathe…

“Steve?”

He stumbled to the floor shivering. A silhouette leaned over him, her hair was wavy…she smelled of vanilla and comfort. He reached up to touch her. She took his hand and leaned forward a bit more, worry marred her face and sadness shone in her eyes. “Peg–…Natalia?”

She nodded and bit her lip. “You weren’t answering your phone, I was worried. It’s been more than a few hours. I thought I’d check in on you.”

Steve shot sitting up and looked around them. He was still in Stark’s mansion, still in the medical unit, and still in Loki and Clint’s room. Clint had spread out, laying on his stomach with one arm over Loki the other hanging off the side of the bed with his leg. The monitors on the walls showed everything was alright.

“I’m sorry,” he said trying to stand. She put her arm under his to help steady him. “I must have…dozed off…” He looked at the clock and frowned. Dozed off was an understatement. He’d fallen asleep, it was almost two am.

“Banner said he’d be here in a little bit,” she gave him a positive smile and then began to pick up the pencils off the floor.

He squatted down to recap the sharpener and scooped the shavings up. “I’m sorry.”

“For?”

“For calling yo–”

“Have you spoken to her?” she flipped the big sketch book closed and stood flicking her hair from her face. It hadn’t been the first time he’d done that. It didn’t really sting or bother her any longer. There were times when she had accidently called him Ivan, Clint or Alexi. If he could stay patient with her, she could do the same for him in those tough frightening moments.

“What?” he rose and went to the trash to dump the mess.

“Have you spoken to her recently?”

“I…” he sighed and dusted his hands, “no.”

Natasha frowned and tilted her head, “Why?”

Steve shrugged turning around. They stood there for a moment, her waiting patiently for him to reply and him pretending that the floor was impressively interesting in the dim light.

“Is that why you find me attractive?” He looked up at her unsure of what her face looked like this far away in the shadows. Her voice sounded thoughtful. “Because I remind you of her?”

“Natalia I didn’t –”

“Shhh…” she said soothingly and pointed toward the bed. A moment later Clint made a noise and moved, pulling his leg up and twisted until he was on his back with his arm thrown over his face. She smiled at him and then turned back to Steve. “You’ll wake the kids.”

He tried again, quieter this time. “Natalia, I didn’t…I know you’re both different. I’d never compare you two.” She crossed her arms and he could tell by her stance that she was curious and not upset.

“Why?”

“Because you are both strong-willed individuals who are unique,”

“Never compare, huh?”

Steve realised his words and then sighed becoming frustrated with himself. “That’s not what I –”

“I know,” she held up her hand and walked to him with a small laugh. “I think I get what you’re trying to say.”

He relaxed grateful, for he didn’t honestly believe he could have worked his way out of that one. He didn’t even know how to put those feelings into words. She took him by the hand and led him out and into the hall. The lights were on the night time setting of thirty percent and the mansion was still and quiet. Too still for a regular night. Too quiet for comfort.

“He’s going to wake up tomorrow.” Rogers awkwardly said as they walked toward the elevator.

“Is he?” she replied neutrally, but he didn’t miss the way her shoulders tensed slightly.

He looked at her. “Are you planning on being there?”

“Will Clint be there?”

“Yes,”

“Then you know my answer.”

They entered the lift and headed to her rooms. Steve shifted from foot to foot. “Are you going to be nice?”

She turned her face to look at him. “Is _he_?”

He looked away regretting that he’d ever said anything about the god now. “So did you have fun with Clint?”

“Yes…” she replied quietly after a moment.

“I’m sorry I left the kitchen a mess. I was –”

“I know.” She adjusted her grip on his hand and stood closer to him. “JARVIS told me. We were fine. Bruce needed you and Clint had fun exploring.”

“Good,” he couldn’t stop the tired sigh that slipped from him as the doors opened.

“Come on,” she pulled him forward with a small smile. “Let’s get some sleep. I have to start training Clint in the morning.”

“So soon?”

“What else is he going to do? Keep sitting by _his_ side doing nothing?” Her upper lip twitched with her disapproval as she flipped the bedroom lights on and began removing her clothes in favour for the sleek nightgown she’d taken to wearing.

“Well…” he began setting his things down, keeping his eyes politely averted, and thought of what to say. “I suppose now that I think about it has been almost a week since he woke up.”

“A week and two days tomorrow,” she corrected absently as she brushed her hair before the mirror.

He shrugged as he considered this and went to the drawer she had cleaned out for him to put some of his things in. He started changing for bed. “Is Bruce okay with this?”

She turned and headed to the bathroom to brush her teeth. “I figured I’d ask him over breakfast. The other guy isn’t a morning person and doesn’t seem to bother him before noon, so he’ll be in a better mood.”

“Really?” he frowned pulling his night shirt on and followed after her.

“Yes,” she managed around scrubbing her teeth and moved aside for him to get his brush and the toothpaste. Once she had finished she dried her mouth with the hand towel and sat with her legs crossed, Indian style on the closed toilet seat, to wait for him. “If you want anything from Tony try the evening,” she offered fiddling with her fingers. “Not before one, but not after nine at night.”

“Thor?” he smiled around his brush, amazed at how brilliant she could be. He was sure he would have figured this all out on his own, but not the way she did. His would have been trial and error, not observation and deduction.

“If he hasn’t been alone for a while,” she picked at her nails nervously. “Don’t go seeking him out. Wait until he shows himself in the community rooms. He doesn’t like being disturbed.”

“And me?” Steve spit out the paste and rinsed his mouth.

Natasha smiled, “that’s easy. You’ll always help someone. Even if you don’t want to you do.” She held out the towel, which he took and patted his face dry.

“And Clint?” He straightened from the sink as he refolded the rectangle pale blue cloth.

“He’s a kid,” she chuckle. “If he won’t do it for free, bribe him. He loves sweet things, carnival food, and archery equipment. If that fails then make it a contest or game. He can’t stand to lose at something.”

Steve laughed and hung the towel back on its proper wrack. He held out his hand and helped her stand. “And you?”

“Now why would I give that information out freely?” she said moving past him in a teasing manner.

“Would extra brownies be a fair trade?” he turned and followed her, flipping off the lights as she crawled into bed.

“If I took your shield and hid it on you, but offered you ice cream as a bribe to have you forget about it, would that be a fair trade?”

“I’m…not sure,” he smiled as he slid under the sheets and reached for her. “What flavour are we negotiating for?”

“Pistachio.”

He stopped and made a face, before slipping his arms around her, and pulled her to him. “Uh…I’d have to think about that.”

“Yeah, how long do I have to wait?” she playfully pinched his arm.

“Ouch! Not long,” he laughed, grabbing her hands and held them with one of his, as he settled down behind her. “Can we bargain for chocolate chip or vanilla with a chocolate dip?” he tickled her ribs with his free hand.

“No!” she cried wrestling out of his grip. They laughed and squirmed on the bed until Natasha had him pinned under her.

“Alright,” he said breathless. “I surrender. I won’t ask again.”

“Good, you can keep your shield as a reward.”

“Without the pistachio?” he made a face.

She chuckled and leaned forward to kiss him. “Yes, without the pistachio.”

Releasing him, she settled back to bed. Steve turned on his side and waited until she moved herself back against his chest before he buried his face in her hair. They were silent for several minutes: him letting his body relax towards sleep and her fiddling with his fingers.

He covered her hands with his and pulled them to her chest. “Sleep…” he mumbled half way there.

“I can’t…” she whispered and felt herself suddenly close to tears. Steve loosened his hold on her so that she could turn around face him. “Do you think he really will wake up tomorrow?”

Steve swallowed, knowing she’d refuse the offer, yet voiced it regardless, “We don’t have to be there tomorrow. We can wait a day; give the others time to settle in on the idea? That way Clint and Loki won’t feel bombarded from questions?”

“No!” she dug her fingers into his arms, angry over the thought of the god having Clint all to himself first.

“Okay,” he said softly and rubbed her sides and arms soothingly. “But there’s nothing we can do right now…we can only try and get some sleep so we’re awake and alert in case something happens tomorrow.”

She nodded her head, “I’m sorry…” she whispered, dabbing at her eyes with the back of her index finger, and sniffed.

“Don’t be,” he pulled her close to his chest and kissed her shoulder. “You’re allowed to be angry Natalia.”

“Am I allowed to hit him?” she laughed ruefully as she turned back around; some point deep inside of her hopeful still at getting back at the god.

“How about we try for something a little calmer?”

Sighing she laced her fingers with his, “fine.”

He kissed her shoulder again, “thank you.”

\-------------------------------------------------

“Hello?” came her sleepy voice.

His heart lit up a bit at the sound of her. “Hi!”

“Tony?”

“Yeah,”

There was a rustling noise followed by the sound of something small falling and her cursing under her breath. “It’s almost one-fifteen – two over there – what’s wrong?”

“I know. I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to wake you, I just…” he sighed and rubbed at his face. “I miss you.”

There was another noise of movement from her end of the line. She was probably sitting up. She normally did when she was on the phone in bed. She hated lying down and talking, she said it made her feel suffocated. Tony thought it was cute. “You called me yesterday?”

“Did I?” he couldn’t remember. It felt as though he hadn’t spoken to her in a thousand years. “I’m…I’m sorry.”

“Is there something wrong?”

“I…” he put on a fake smile and lightened his voice, “I just can’t wait to see you that’s all.”

“I’ll be there in a few days.”

“I know…” he fell silent and fidgeted with the small paper cup Banner had given him. Inside lay two cool blue sleeping pills. He sighed and pushed it away from him.

“Tony?”

“Yeah?”

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

He was quiet for a second, “yeah.”

“I’ll hurry up and more things around and get there this evening if y–”

“No, no,” he said quickly and got up from the bar stool he had been sitting on. “Take your time. That way you don’t have to worry about anything when you get here.”

“I run your company and clean up your messes, I _always_ have something to worry about,” she laughed.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered.

She stopped. “Tony?” The concern that her voice held made his heart ache.

He swallowed and cleared his throat, “How are they doing? The workers, I mean.”

“They are fine.”

“Are you at the Montana–”

“Iowa,”

“Iowa plant? Good. How is Jeff?”

“Better.”

“His stomach–”

“Heart,”

“Heart surgery went well?”

“Yes.”

“Did we send him a card?”

“I made sure to send him a card and some fruit.”

“Good; fruit is good for…recovery stuff…” he sniffed and rubbed his nose.

“Tony, are you –”

“It’s good to hear your voice,” he cut over her and planted his fist on his hip.

“Even groggy?” she joked.

His heart ached again. “Yes, Pepper. Even groggy. Sleepy, angry, sexy, sickly or –”

“Sickly?” she cried offended.

Oh…the wrong choice of words. _Damn!_ “Like stuffy! Y’know–” he tried correcting hurriedly.

“You like it when I’m ill?”

“No, but the stuffy nose and sleepy expression, they are kind of cute…” he rubbed his face and exhaled angry at himself. “I’m going to pay for that comment later?”

“Yeah, more than twelve percent,” she teased.

He didn’t know if he should laugh or cry. Pepper, the dearest person to his heart hadn’t changed. The invasion hadn’t burned her spirit out or broken her. She was till fiery, still perfect, still ready with a witty comeback. She was still her.

“Hey Tony?”

“Yeah, hun?”

“Get some sleep, okay?”

“Yeah,” he sniffed and rubbed his nose again.

“I mean it.”

“Alright,” he promised.

“Do you want me to stay on the line until you do?”

“No,” he said looking back over at the abandoned paper cup. “I’ll…I’ll manage tonight.”

She yawned, “Okay. Do you want me to call you later?”

“Yeah…that’d be great.”

“Around noon?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay…I love you.”

“I…” his voice was caught in his throat. He let out the rest of his breath and managed a measly, “you too.”

“Night,”

“Night.” He bit his lip as she hung up. God what was wrong with him? Why couldn’t he say it? He’d been trying for months to and he thought after his near death experience he would at least be able to attempt to sound out part of the word! “Love.” He said squeezing his eyes and fists shut tightly.

“Love! I love you. Pepper, I lo–” his voice faltered and he licked his lips trying again. “Pepper I lo-ou! Dammit!” he threw his phone across the room, watching it shatter into a billion pieces. He took several deep breaths and then snatched the paper cup up off the counter and jerked the fridge opened.

Grabbing a bottle of water he stuffed his feet into a pair of shoes and pulled a jacket off the back of a chair to shrug on. He quickly went from the kitchen and headed toward the emergency stairs. Folding the top of the cup closed and tucking it away into his breast pocket, he began taking the steps two at a time until he made it to the top. He slammed the door to the roof opened and inhaled deeply. The chilly night air stung his face as a gust of wind blew toward him. Shivering he made his way further out and set the water bottle on the ground near the edge.

“Friend Stark?”

Tony spun with a shout and gripped at the arc reactor in his chest. “Ah! Thor! Buddy!” he nervously laughed with relief. “You scared me. Wh-what are you doing up here?”

The thunder god stood from where he had been sitting in the shadows on the other side of the rooftop door. “I come when the night is clearest,” he gestured to the skies. “It is easier for Heimdall to hear me.”

“Oh,” he hadn’t a clue in heaven or hell who or what the fuck that was, but he figured it had to of been important by Thor’s tone. “Mind if I just…hang around up here?”

“No by all means,” he said bowing his head slightly. “I can leave if you wish for the privacy?”

“No, actually I…I just want silent company.”

Thor nodded, “I understand.” He sat back where he had been and resumed looking between the photo in his hands and the night sky.

Tony scratched the back of his neck and paced around a bit. He stopped and pointed to the photograph, “your girlfriend?”

“I have yet to formerly ask if she wishes to be courted,” he confessed a tad guilty.

“Hm,” he nodded and did another lap around the roof, stopping again, this time closer to the god. “Who’s Hemnal?”

“Heimdall,” Thor gently corrected looking up at him, “is the guardian of the Bifrost.”

“Is that the place you live?”

“No,” he shook his head with a smile. “It is a burning road made of ancient magic. If one taps into it correctly they can visit anywhere within the realms they wish.”

“And these realms are…?”

“The worlds that rest within Yggdrasil’s branches,”

“Yggdrasil’s…branches…right because she’s a giant tree floating in space?”

“She is a giant force of energy, shaped in the likeness of a tree, hanging within an area of space, yes.”

Tony rubbed his mouth and then made another trip of the roof.

Thor watched him, curious of the odd behaviour the billionaire was displaying. “Is there something that troubles your thoughts?”

“Yeah,” he said and wiped his face. “How…how do you…” he let out a sigh and then turned to look at the god, “you’ve been in battles right?”

“Yes,”

“A lot?”

“Several few,”

“How do you do it?”

Confused, Thor frowned, “A battle?”

“No…dealing with it.”

“You fight?”

“No,” he sighed frustrated and rubbed at his face, dragging his fingers through his hair. “Afterward. How do you…deal with it all…when it’s done?”

“Oh,” Thor nodded understanding his meaning now. “This is what troubles you? This troubles many, even I.”

“You?”

“Do not sound so surprised, my friend. I may not look my age, yet do not doubt that my eyes have seen many years.”

“Many?”

“Yes.”

“Dozens,”

“Hundreds,”

“Thousands?”

“Yes.”

Tony scratched the back of his head and paced around the roof again. He stopped on the other side and looked at one of the buildings across from them and folded his arms over his chest. “Does time make it easier?”

“Yes and no.”

“Why?” he turned surprised. It couldn’t be both. It had to be one or the other right? Black or white, there was never an area for grey.

“It depends upon the day.”

“So…so this thing with New York,” he gestured to everything around them. “All of that…those things…how…” he exhaled and dropped his hands, “how?” he finished weakly, unable to put into words what he was feeling.

“You wake up,” Thor shrugged easily. “You train, you eat, and you go about your life. You may fight again. The battles may become bloodier; the loss of life greater; the ache and sorrow heaver on your shoulders, yet you do not stop. You keep moving forward.” He shifted so that he was facing the billionaire more. “My mother told me when I was younger, that it was best to only give oneself no more than an hour or two a day to reflect on the past. Anything more will drive your heart to darkness, anything less will make you cold and forget. So, I give myself that time.”

“But doesn’t it all become…overwhelming?”

“I only think of one battle at a time: start by focusing on one heartache, one mistake, or one nightmare. Anything more is too much. You cannot remember and help yourself heal if you are constantly overstraining your emotions. It is like learning how to handle a new weapon, or lifting weighted bags. You cannot pick up the heaviest object and expect to carry it a great distance on the first try. Just as we learned to crawl to our beginning small steps, and finally managed running; the same must be when we dwell upon the past.”

Tony reached into the inner pocket of his coat and pulled forth the paper cup he had stashed there. He unfolded the top and stared down at the pills. Pulling one out, he examined it. It was about the height of a penny, oval shaped, and semi-transparent. The liquid within the stuffed capsule was a chilly aqua. Was this going to help him crawl to safety or was it too late and he was already running at full speed towards his own destruction?

“What is that? A bean?”

“They are sleeping pills,” Tony put the pill back into the cup and went to retrieve his water bottle.

“The attack earlier in the year was your first war?” Thor asked carefully, his voice soft and sympathetic.

“Kind of,” he bitterly replied, unscrewing the cap. “Not really…”

“I remember mine.”

Tony took a drink and then went over to sit next to the god. “Yeah?”

“They were fire giants. A small pack attacked us whilst we were on a hunting trip. I had killed animals before…but never a…another being like that.” He shifted and cross his legs, leaning his back against the wall behind them.

“What did you do?”

“I went and vomited my lunch in the bushes. I put on a brave face and acted as though nothing was wrong. I managed fine until we returned home. I couldn’t sleep. I kept seeing his face. The shock, the scared look, the surrendering…there was sadness…” he swallowed looking directly ahead of him as he spoke, “I kept wondering if he had family as I do. Did he have a brother to look after? A mother or wife now mourning his loss? A father he admired? Children? Friends? I had destroyed his line in the pattern of life. I took it away without a second thought and I suffered for months.”

“How old were you?”

“Six-hundred and twelve…”

“Oh,” Tony shrugged not sure what to think of that.

“I had not yet hit manhood…I was still a child…”

Tony swallowed, looking the god over slowly. “How did you manage?” he asked quietly.

“My brother…”

He grimaced and turned his gaze away unsure as to how he felt about that answer.

“You do not care for him, I know. I understand everyone’s hesitation and malice…” he sighed, “I wish you could have known him before.”

“What was he like?”

“Kind. Loki was understanding. He always listened. He offered advice.” Thor suddenly laughed as memories flooded his mind. “Sometimes he’d get us into trouble, yet he always admitted to it. We shared many months’ worth of chores for it. Oh but it was fun,” he sighed happily before regret pulled his spirits down. “I still am unsure as to where I went wrong…” he muttered to himself.

“What?”

“I was so absorbed with my own achievements I somehow pushed his needs and wants aside. I made him my second and not my equal. I over…shadowed him…”

“Isn’t that how siblings are though? The eldest does everything and is put under a lot of stress and expected to do great things? The youngest gets away with everything, does no wrong and doesn’t have to work as hard to earn their parent’s love? Then the middle one is kind of put off to the side or something? I’m not sure, I was raised an only child.”

“Really?” Thor looked at him interestedly. The genius never willing volunteered much about his life, and the god was always curious about who his new friends where. Life on Midgard was so different than Asgard after all, yet he felt a closer connection to these people than to most of the ones he spent time and grew up with back home.

“Yeah…my parents tried but…” he sniffed and looked away, uncomfortable still with speaking to others about anything involving his past. “But my mom was sick.”

“I am sorry to hear that.”

“Me too…” he breathed and looked down at the cup still in his hand. He rotated it, letting the two pills slide around the bottom of it a few times. “Is it just you and Loki?”

“No, there are two others. They are still yet very young. Loki and I only see them occasionally, because of the great distance in our ages. Loki is almost three years younger than I,” he explained, crossing his arms thoughtfully.

“How much of a difference are we talking?”

“The next is Baldur, he will be seven-hundred next spring; and the youngest is Týr, he was just starting to walk when I was last there.”

 _Damn!_ “How old is that, at least a year to like three?” How old would his mother be then? Especially if Thor had claimed to be some age in the thousands.

Thor laughed, “No he would be far too tiny to walk at merely three! Try ninety.”

“Ninety!?” Tony was aghast. “A good majority of human beings don’t live that long! What the hell!? Why does it take almost a century for your people to start walking!?”

Thor shrugged unconcerned, “Time is different for us. What feels like a hundred years for my people is what you would call maybe…two years for yours?”

“Did your mother also have to carry him for five-hundred years before giving birth?”

Thor frowned, “No…it takes no less than eight, but no more than thirteen months, depending on family history.”

“Family history?”

“Giants take longer to gestate. Those with Vanir family history take about the same as those with pure Aesir origins. Elves are the fastest. I am not certain with dwarves though.”

“I…honestly don’t know what to say…”

“It is fine my friend,” he clapped him on the shoulder reassuringly. “Midgard is strange to me at times as well. There is a lot yet I still do not understand of your people.”

Tony could do nothing else but blink at him, keeping his facial expression as neutral as possible over Thor’s words. Midgard was strange? Compared to giants and elves and waiting ninety years before a child walks? At least there were only humans and animals on this planet! Not strange other races. Well there were difference races, but not as extreme as what Thor was describing. Humans were humans, no matter what colour or shape.

“Okay buddy,” he sighed and patted the god’s knee as he stood. “I haven’t slept in a couple of days, and now that we’ve had this…enlightening talk I think I’m going to drug myself up and pass the fuck out.”

“Sleep well my friend. I enjoyed our conversation,” Thor waved a hand with a smile.

“Yes, so did I. Lots of things I learned…” he muttered with a sigh and punched the code in for the door. “Hey,” he called holding it opened. “Use the door and stop climbing the side of the building. It freaks Jarvis’s systems out. Four numbers: 1234.”

“I apologise and thank you my friend,” the blond bowed his head gratefully.

“I’ll see you later.”

“Good night,”

“Night.”

Thor leaned back with a smile on his face and watched the sky turn from navy-black to gold and blue. He could feel a change within the air. The light was brighter this morning, the clouds softer, and his troubles seemed lessened somehow. Good things were about to happen, he could feel it.

\-------------------------------------------------

Coulson rubbed the side of his face and accepted the glass of water Maria handed him. “Thanks.”

“No problem,” she sat next to him, unable to keep the concerned expression from her face.

“I’m fine.” He said simply and winced hoping the aspirin he’d taken would kick in soon.

“So are we all,” she replied dryly.

“They found the jet.”

“Are you going to continue to follow them?”

“I know where they are…” She frowned at him and he finished half of his glass before he answered. “I’ve had a hunch and it was just recently confirmed. I wanted to gather some information so I knew what I was dealing with before I went and confronted things.”

“And?”

“And I’m going to need you to keep the rest of my team busy.”

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “You can’t go in alone.”

“I can. I think it will be better this way.”

“What do you think they’ll do?”

“I’m not sure…but someone owes me a signature,” he smiled in a goofy and pleased fashion. “And a stiff drink.”

She snapped her eyes opened and then rolled them at the look on his face. “You’re a child.”

“Yes…but I _am_ his.”

Maria looked him over for a second and then shook her head. “You take after his morals but you look more like your mother.”

“Genetics,” he shrugged and winced again.

“I’ll get you an ice pack.” She rose and headed for the small kitchenette. “Lay down for a bit before you go running off.”

“I don’t think I can even stand.”

“What did he do to you?”

“Wisdom. A single spark can set a prairie on fire.” She handed him a blue cold pack wrapped in a washcloth. Phil quickly pressed it to his forehead and let her pull him up from the chair and over to his bed.

“What?” She frowned trying to get him out of his jacket.

“I read it in a fortune cookie once.” He flopped face first onto the mattress with a groan once he’d been freed of the well-tailored piece. His brain felt as if it were about to implode. Why had he even bothered going that far again? Right, to get all of the facts; he never went in blind. Damn his curiosity.

“Smartest fortune cookie I’ve ever heard,” she muttered unlacing and pulling his shoes off.

“There was a time when they were legit.”

“People who believe everything they read on a piece of paper and mould their lives around it are silly.”

“Are they?” he lifted his head as she pulled the covers over him. She nodded and he laughed as he turned over. “Funny…don’t we read papers and have to believe and mould our lives around there meaning?”

“I’m not going to open a file, find ‘you will find true love’ scrawled in the corner and expect that anyone I meet afterward is my intended.”

“No…I suppose not…” he rubbed his temple and readjusted the icepack to the other side of his skull as he loosened and removed his tie.

“Get some rest,” she sighed feigning irritation and turned to leave the room. “I’ll be back to check on you.”

“You’ll keep my team busy?”

“Only if you lay still,” she pointed her finger at him with a warning look and closed the door.

Phil smirked before settling down on his side. To say he was exhausted was an understatement. To say he was overwhelmed was just barely brushing the surface of it all. He rubbed his forehead and gave a tiny sigh as he felt the medicine finally kick in. He’d worry about everything tomorrow. That was something his mother had always taught him: save the impossible for a new day. She had always disliked fretting over things out of her control. She had raised him to believe, from a very young age, that anything could be fixed with a little time and some logic. Patient, practical and strong: those were the things she’d instilled into him, and what he loved most about her. Maybe he’d give her a call when he was feeling better…

 

 

**I ran out of room in the End Notes, so here starts off the extra notes (just deduct 166 words from the main works count thingy or whatever):**

**Ages:** as for the ages of the Asgardians, I figured since they (Asgardians and Midgardians) are entirely different races and kind of on opposite sides of the tree and on different levels, that time would behave differently. I thought since the Aesir are long lived people, that waiting several years to look a little older or walk or anything wouldn’t feel like forever. Kind of like how the older we become it seems time flies and “holy crap it’s already September!? WHAT!? It was just February like two hours ago,” sort of thing. So ninety years doesn’t feel like forever, just a couple of months to a year. I really don’t think the Aesir and Vanir are very concerned with time and how fast it goes. They seem pretty content with just war, wine, and sexy things (not all but most).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Baldur** (pronounced “BALD-er” or “BAL-der”. Other spellings include “Palter”, “Paltar”, “Bealdor”, “Baldor”, “Baldr” or “Balder”) is the god of joy, purity, beauty, innocence, reconciliation, and kind of battle lusty on the down low. It is said that this dude literally shone like the clear pegs of a Lite-Brite in a dark windowless room, maybe even brighter. He is the eldest son of Odin and Frigg(a), and was married to the goddess Nanna (no one has a clue what she did in her spare time) and fathered Forseti, the god of justice.
> 
> There is not a lot of him mentioned in the stories, but there are sources that say he was tremendously nice, wise, and eloquent, even though he never did much but stand around look pretty and let people try to kill him (how kind of him). Why did he do that? Because Frigg(a) went around and asked everything in the universe (accept for mistletoe, it looked too cute and innocent) to swear to never harm Baldur. So knives, axes, poison, arrows, etc of any sort, size, shape, etc had no effect upon him whatsoever.
> 
> He was greatly loved by all. Oh, you thought Thor was the golden kid? No in mythology EVERYTHING loved Baldur and suffered great sadness when he died. Yep he dies. In myths Loki’s a devious jealous little shit and tricks Hod into launching an arrow (spear, etc. it was a sharp pointed object fashioned with a mistletoe tip) at Baldur, and kills him dead. Everyone loved him so much, that because of this (and because Loki wouldn’t weep to bring him back from the dead) Loki is chained to a rock under a tree with a serpent, resting in its branches, that spits poison down into his face and causes him agonising pain. Sucks to suck…(no matter how much we love him)
> 
> It’s alright, Hod suffered for his “crimes” too. In fact, Odin went and had an angry affair, purposely fathering Váli whose sole existence is to seek revenge for what Hod did to his twin and beloved of all. Have no fear though, once Ragnarök hits both Baldur and his twin Hod will be reborn and help rule the new universe and worlds.  
>  
> 
>  **Týr** (pronounced like “tear” in English. Now you can figure out if it’s “tear” as in “I’m tearing up. Stop I’ll cry!” or “I’m tearing this paper to tiny bits!”. Hahaha, languages are fun aren’t they? Other spellings are “Tyr”, “Tiw”, “Ziu”, “Tyz”, “Tiwaz”, “Tēwaz”, “Zīo”, “Deiwós”) is now known to be a “minor” Aesir god. There is evidence of him once being revered as a higher power, even perhaps a father of fathers before or to Odin. Not sure why they demoted him, but he’s still pretty cool.
> 
> He is mainly known for only having one hand. This is because one of Loki’s children, Fenrir, made the other gods uneasy and was seen as a threat (probably because he’s supposed to kill Odin in Ragnarök, but who knows?) so they wished for him to be bound. The wolf proved to be far stronger than they thought and broke anything they could request or find to be made to keep him imprisoned. They finally found this magical rope/ribbon thing and they presented to the wolf. Fearing for his safety, he refused to have it placed around his neck unless someone put their hand/arm into his mouth. Týr stepped up and willingly and selflessly put his hand/arm into the wolf’s jaws as a pledge of good faith. Once Fenrir realised what had happened, he nom’ed the thing off and everyone rejoiced…accept for Týr who probably needed immediate medical attention.
> 
> Because of this tale, and his influence in a few others, it can be deduced that he helped in matters of law, honour, oaths, justice, etc. He is one of the three main gods (Odin and Thor are the others) that people would call upon for battle/war help and courage.
> 
> Alright, now because of the fact that somewhere in history Odin usurped this great guy, it’s hard to find where he fits in as Aesir relative or legit fruit of Odin and Frigg(a)’s loins. Some sources put him as the last son born between the All-father and All-mother, and some have him as like a cousin or uncle figure. 
> 
> Týr’s name translates to “god”; he is often written in stories by a symbol “ᛏ”, the rune “Tiwaz” that is used for the letter “t” (your letter of the day); and whenever Tiwesdæg (Tuesday) rolls around you can tip your hat to this dude and thank him for keeping our streets safe, from an almost certain death, by the jaws of the feared Fenrir. He also dies during Ragnarök when he kills Garm, the guard dog that belonged to Hel(a).
> 
>    
>  **There are things about both of these guys** in the comics (Balder the Brave and Tyr the Hero of Courage), but I’m just kind of pulling from tons of sources, blending in feels, and praying I’m doing a good and still entertaining you all with something worth reading.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy one day early HOBBIT DAY!
> 
> Mistakes are always my own fault. I'm an adult, but I'm honestly just pretending like I know things about English grammar rules and stuff. I did a few corrections of things I found obviously wrong in the last chapter, so hopefully it make sense now. I don't even know where my brain was, some of those where obviously horrid. I am so thankful and gracious that you all are so patient with me.
> 
> Thank you for your comments and for taking time to read. I hope you enjoy!!!

\----------------------17----------------------

“Loki…” a voice called in his ear. He sighed and nuzzled his face toward the hand that brushed down his cheek. His body ached but he could not care. He knew that he was at long last lifting out of the retched suffocating nothing and he opened his eyes with a smile of relief.

“My little – BY ODIN’S RAVENS THOR!” he hissed jerking away from him and hit his head against the headboard.

“BROTHER!” the god bellowed overjoyed, his eyes shining brightly with unshed tears. “You have awakened at last!”

Loki pressed a hand to the throbbing spot on his scalp and glared at him. What was the oaf doing there? He should have been in Asgard or with his lady fair. Why was he so close to crying and why had he been watching him sleep? Was he upset that Loki was awake again? Thor had to be furious over what he had done to his precious Midgard. There was no question about that, but the way his eyes looked him over, the smile at the corner of his lips…

Could Thor have been grateful that he had awoken?

 _He pushed you from the edge._ The darkness rushed to whisper into his ear. _He took all of your glory._

“Get out!” Loki conjured a palm full of flames, mildly bewildered over the conflicting emotions running through him. What did he care for how the thunder god felt? It was not as if Thor had any intention of letting him stay on this realm, and once he discovered the bond?

_He’ll throw you off the edge of this realm as well…_

Anger gripped him suddenly. “Get out or –” he paused realising what he was able to do. Slowly, he turned his head to stare at his hand in shock. He was unbound…unbound and in a strange place…unbound, and held magic in his grasp…

His heart skipped over joyously and he swallowed back a grateful sob. He looked at Thor’s goofy smiling face and then back to his hand. Falling back against the mountain of pillows behind him, he gazed at the warm tiny purplish spark glowing at the tips of his fingers. Loki held his arm out to examine it from afar and noticed the IV. He lifted the tube slightly and studied it before following it down. He saw the other wires along his body. His blood froze.

A rush of panic went over him and he began pulling at them, tearing the needles and patches, as a caged animal would to its leash. He threw the blankets off and found one on his hip, the catheter for his waste, and several wires on his legs. He viciously tore them away, making a mess and staining the sheets as his impatience pulled opened or created new wounds.

“No! Loki you must lea–”

“Leave me alone!” he spat aggressively, scooting aside as he cowered from his reach. Thor pulled his hands away and took a step back giving him space.

Loki looked down at his hand again and focused on the it, pressing at the tiny spark. Opening himself up he drew his mind along his surroundings, drinking up every sap of the sweet essence, and surging it up around the rest of his body until he was completely engulfed in soft violet flames. The cool prickling of magic assaulted his senses as he felt it weave itself back into his bones; twisting about his veins; flourishing around his heart; and finally wrapping him tightly in a cocoon of sensations: life, death, pleasure, agony...

He inhaled at peace and let it consume him for a few moments. His mind began to race: images from the past several months whirled around his head as the tang of the spell danced upon his taste buds. He was awake…awake and no longer in Fury’s hands. Clint was…his chest clinched painfully and he doubled over with a gasp, the flames extinguishing with an unpleasant snap along his skin.

“Loki?” Thor asked concerned, reaching for his brother again.

“Clinton,” he managed and pushed Thor’s hands away angrily. “Get – ah!” he groaned and curled inward falling to his side, trying to grit out the pain that spread like a trillion sharp needles around his body. The thunder god nodded, running from the room; his mighty shouts echoing down the halls unanswered. Loki squeezed his eyes shut, trying to steady his breathing, but found he could not inhale without causing himself more discomfort.

Thor slid as he rounded the corner and charged at top speed into the kitchen. No one. He went around to the second living room. No one. He checked the dining room.

“Where is everyone!?” he growled as he found empty room after empty room on the commons level. He re-entered the kitchen and jumped when the disembodied voice of the mansion answered him.

“Bruce Banner is in his room; Tony Stark is in his lab; Steve Rogers and Natasha Romanoff are with Clinton Barton in his new rooms. How may I be of service, Thor Odinson?” JARVIS inquired.

“Loki has awoken. I need –”

“I have already contacted everyone. Please rest easy, sir. Help is on the way.”

“Thank you,” he took a breath and leaned against the wall. He couldn’t go back in there. He didn’t want to leave his brother alone, but he knew Loki would rather throw himself from the window than accept Thor’s touch at the moment. He was completely at a loss. This was not what he had expected, this was not what he had hoped or dreamed.

“Thor?” The god looked up at his name. It was Bruce coming out of the elevator. He was at the god’s side in an instant. “Thor what’s wrong? Jarvis said something was wrong with Loki?”

“He’s awake.”

Bruce nodded and made the blond turn to him. “I need you to breathe, alright?” The god shook his head. He looked horribly shaken. Banner had a small panicking thought that something was seriously wrong. He had to try and get Thor to an okay state of mind before he could leave him though. “Everything is going to be fine. Tell me what happened.” The elevator dinged open and Clint bolted past them holding his chest. “Clint!” Banner called after him.

“No time!” He shouted back and stumbled a bit as he tried turning the corner without slowing.

Bruce returned his attention back to the thunder god. “Are you going to be alright if I leave you?”

Thor nodded, “I am capable of caring for myself. I will wait for the others. Please–”

“Don’t worry,” Banner promised as he rushed past him and after the archer. He had just made it to the door in time to watch the god of mischief discover the thick IV in his clavicle and rip it out. “Loki stop!” he pleaded even though it was too late. “You have to keep those in!”

Clint was standing by the bed trying to get a hold of him to keep him still. Every time he reached out Loki would twist away or flames would appear upon his skin, causing him to jump back worried. “Loki.” He said hoping to get his attention. He dodged a patch of flames that leapt up from the arm he had just reached for.

Tony and Thor appeared behind Banner. He turned to them, “Help me hold him still.”

“No stay back,” Clint held out his hand. “Just wait…okay?”

Banner nodded and looked at Tony who just watched the god writhing in pain cautiously. Thor swallowed, still panicked and shifted his weight from foot to foot as he waited. The other guy was fidgeting in Bruce’s mind, unsure as to how to react. He could feel his blood pounding heavily through his body and knew everyone was sharing the same discomfort and unease. They hadn’t a clue as to what to do and this was not the reaction they had expected.

“Loki,” the archer said turning back to him, managing to grab a hold of his shoulder. “I’m here,” he said soothingly. “It’s Clint.”

 _Clint?_ The trickster’s body instantly reacted to the name. He snatched him up by his collar, pulling him down and claimed his lips. The pain almost instantly receded from his limbs as the warmth from Barton’s body seeped into him.

 _Yes!_ They both sighed in unison as Loki opened his side of the connection up, not hiding his surprise at finding Clint already waiting there. This was real – no dreams or nightmares, no hiding out in a corner of someone’s mind, no wishing the other were awake or only brushing across their frame of reality – this was real! Finally tangible and so delicious; Loki swore he was melting like rich chocolate on a hot day.

He let out a small moan and shifted so that his body was turned toward the archer. Using his other hand, he cupped Clint’s face as he tilted his head and offered his tongue. He was pleased went he felt Barton’s flick against his, sending a shiver down his spine.

“We’re on fire,” Clint mumbled around the god’s lips, with mild trepidation, as they parted for air.

Loki hummed content as an unaccustomed tingling settled into his body. It wasn’t pure relief; however, it was much more tolerable than any torment he had recently gone through, and Loki was grateful for that change. “Yes…yes we are,” he purred tugging Barton closer and kissed him deeply. _But we are safe._ He reassured mouthing his way to the archer’s throat and licked up to his ear, gently biting on it.

 _We’re also not alone..._ Barton warned, pulling the trickster up short. If there was one thing he had always been against, apart from being lied too, it was sharing pure intimate moments with outsiders. Especially outsiders who happened to be enemies, enemies that were near and could take advantage of their situation.

Loki shoved Barton back so that he could move himself into a defensive crouching position, using the headboard for support when the world turned too quickly. He glared around the room at the rest of them, morphing the flames around his body into his white cotton fabric outfit, changing it to his casual preferred Asgardian clothing.

Stark, Banner, and Thor had moved close enough to the bed that if something were to happen, it looked as though the genius had planned to pull Clint away and the beast and his…brother would jump into action. Stark was superficially ready for a fight, his eyes and their dark circles told otherwise; Banner seemed torn between his kind heart and defending his newly acquired allies; and Thor just looked relieved, which made Loki uncomfortably ill.

He turned his face to the left and found the Black Widow and Captain standing at the door; one highly embarrassed the other looked sick to her stomach. They were standing close…closer than entirely normal for any social encounter…

 _Interesting…_ he remarked to himself as he took a note and resumed his original thoughts.

It was not too long ago that they had been in a similar situation. Loki backed into a corner, of sorts, and the mighty ones surrounding him, keeping him from escaping. The befuddled heroes all seemed on edge, each waiting for him to either pass out or burn them alive. The only ones who did not seem mainly concerned were Thor, who had decided to move a few feet away and now had that idiotic grin plastered once more across his face, and Clint.

Loki took a moment to observe the other areas of the plain white room before he lowered himself to sitting on his knees and directly addressed the group. “Well…” he paused to gather his words and brought his hands together in his lap. “I presume I should express my gratitude for you all playing a hand in our rescue and recovery.” He lowered his upper body slightly in acknowledgement and straightened again, ignoring the slightly sickened feeling his stomach held at the sudden movement. He shifted slowly to sit at the edge of the bed. “Thank you,” he flinched after speaking the words yet carried on, “for keeping Clint safe and for not…leaving me in Fury’s care.”

Natasha opened her mouth and then closed it tightly, her features shifting from bewilderment to rage in a flash. “You…” she hissed and then lunged herself at him, pushing Clint aside. Loki did not pull up a shield to hold her back, instead he opened his arms and accepted her weight as she tackled him to the mattress and began shaking him. “What did you do to him!?” she shouted angrily and punched him square in the face.

“No!” everyone cried out in panic. Steve rushed forward, picking her up effortlessly and hauled her away from the wounded god.

“Ugh Tash!” Barton groaned pinching the bridge of his nose as blood began to flow out of it. He gratefully accepted a wad of tissues from an openly confused Stark and pressed it to his face as he tilted his head back. “Could you maybe hold off on the physical violence until we sort this all out?”

Bruce went straight to Loki and held a cloth to his face. “Natasha that was uncalled for,” he scolded over his shoulder.

“You know what’s uncalled for?” she spat trying to manoeuvre herself out of Rogers strong hold. “This!” she pointed between the two bleeding beings furiously. “This and how everyone is just suddenly okay with it. Did everyone forget he levelled part of the city and killed a ton of innocent people!? FOR FUN!”

“Come on, we’re leaving,” Steve angrily hoisted her up in his arms more and headed for the door.

“Tasha you promised,” Clint said disappointed. He was crushed…things had been so good…she said she would try! She had _promised_! Loki hadn’t even had a chance to say much or even apologise for anything and already she was criticising him.

Stark’s skin was crawling. The tension was driving him crazy. He hadn’t slept really and work in his lab earlier had pissed him off to his limitation point. He stepped forward and pointed to Steve, trying to remain gentle and defuse the situation before he or anyone else lost it. This was a great start to something that already was difficult and the last thing they needed was someone being flung out a window or getting a green fist to their face. “Get her out of here unt–”

“No wait!” Loki held out his hand and struggled to sit up. “Don’t leave. I’m…” he took a breath, gathering his energy and passed his fingers over his nose. He pulled the cloth away after a moment to reveal he had stopped the bleeding and the bones were in place all healed once more. “I’m sorry,” he continued and Natasha quit struggling to glare at the floor. His voice sounded so pathetic, so helpless, so…no! She wouldn’t think that. She didn’t want to let go of her anger yet. She had a right to it; no one would take that from her.

“I know…I know I’m not a good person.”

“Loki do not utter such words!” Thor cried upset. “You are –”

“No!” he snapped holding up a hand to his brother and then made an effort to stand. All of the sudden excitement and use of magic, however, rendered him faint and he fell back to sit onto the bed. His strength burning out so quickly was alarming, but he would worry over it later. He sighed, “She’s right…I…I have hurt people. Many people. I did it for fun, I did it for revenge…I did it…to…” he shook his head. “I let myself believe what others thought of me without knowing who I really was – am – and now I see what the cost of being a puppet to someone else’s needs has done to a whole world. I’ve had a lot of time to think, truly think, and…I cannot express enough how tremendously sorry I truly am…”

The room remained silent. No one moved as his confession hung in the air around them. It made Clint’s heart lighten, but only served to piss Natasha off further. She made a disgusted sound and finally managed to remove herself from Steve’s arms. Taking a moment to glare in threat and pure hatred at Loki, she turned and left silently. Steve nodded to everyone in the room politely and went to follow after her.

“Don’t worry,” Tony shrugged trying to make light of things as he felt himself relax a bit. “She’s been like this for weeks. I think she just needs to really kick someone’s ass and then she’ll be happily bouncing through the halls again.”

“The city has become eerily quiet recently,” Banner agreed before his humanitarian instincts kicked in and he went to gather his equipment to check Clint and Loki over for any further signs of injuries.

The god tugged at one of the circular devices that had refused to come off of his chest. “What are these?”

“Heart monitors,” Banner replied grabbing up swabs and sterilising cloths for the god’s opened wounds. “Please leave whatever ones that are still on you alone. I need you to change back into the clothes we had you in and lay down.”

Loki complied, the last of his energy being sapped away by the simple release of the spell as Clint helped him settle back at the centre of the ruined bed. Bruce immediately began wiping off the blood around his neck, which had continued to run steadily from the opened wound he had created when he yanked that particularly large IV out, and dressed it. He then checked Loki’s temperature, his heart, his eyes, his ears, his lungs, and his throat before deeming him in need of fluids and plenty of rest.

“I wish you wouldn’t have ripped your lines out,” he muttered as he gathered up the discarded tubes and bits before tossing them down the garbage shoot. “I needed you to stay on those for at least another day.” He rolled up his sleeves as he went to the drawers in one of the cabinets to search for another starter kit and new gloves.

“What will he do?” Loki whispered to Clint, unable to hide the small amount of fear from his voice.

“He’s probably going to poke you,” Clint replied, picking out a catheter which was still hanging halfway out of the god’s arm, and cleaned the area off before pressing a wad of gauze against it.

The god flared his nostrils at the bizarre thing and then at him, “Pardon?”

“With a needle.”

“Whatever for?”

“For medicine and stuff,”

“I can heal perfectly fine on my own.”

“Stop being stubborn,” he sighed tapping the gauze down.

Banner returned to his side, adjusting his blue rubber gloves, before setting the stuff he had gathered upon the bed within easy reach. He hesitated for a moment, “May I?” he waited until the god nodded before picking up one of Loki’s arms and looked it over. The places he’d used before were busted, and although they should have been bleeding still, they were nothing but bruises or cuts that looked several hours to a day old. He set it down and picked up the other one that had less damage to it. He found a spot near his wrist and wrapped the rubber tourniquet around the middle of the god’s forearm, pushing at his veins a little. The pressure was far too much for Loki’s still sensitive body. He hissed and tensed up. Each touch felt as though a knife were being stuck into his skin.

“Sorry,” Bruce whispered apologetically. Loki shook his head to indicate that things were still fine. He sterilised the area and got the Saline port ready. Everyone was silent as he worked up until he opened the packet and pulled out the catheter and stylet.

“What is that?” Loki’s voice was dark, yet couldn’t hide his panic, as he pulled his arm to his chest defensively. His insides cringed at the object as though he were familiar with it; however he couldn’t truly recall when he’d encountered such a thing. He only knew he did not like _it_ and that _it_ was a threat.

“You’ve had these in you before?” Bruce seemed confused. “These are what start the IV’s. Now that I think about it, I don’t actually think you’ve ever been wake when someone has started one; but this turns into the thing that was in your arm giving you fluids.”

“And the poison…” Loki stared at the device as he realised why it looked so familiar. _People were holding him down as a faceless person jabbed them into his back without pause or care. He was trying not to give them the satisfaction of his pain. He had endured worse, yet those memories did not slacken the pain of having someone drive these nails deep within his back. He kept his mouth shut. Clinched his teeth and tried to focus on something else. He kept himself closed off. He couldn’t let them win. If they knew they would harm_ …Clint…

The god shivered, glaring at the thing and then at the doctor. “If you bring that any closer I _will_ end your life.”

“You can’t hurt me,” Bruce was almost amused over the idea of the god trying to do something horrific to him, but the terror in his eyes stilled him from showing it. “Look, I’ll show you what it does.” He gestured to Tony who grabbed another one and tossed it to him. He tore open that package and pulled the pieces out and then apart.

“I am very familiar with _it_ and what _it_ can do.”

“Look, that was S.H.I.E.L.D., this is me. I don’t like hurting people so I make these as quick and easy as possible, with mild to maybe a little discomfort.” He held up the parts. “This is a stylet; it is the sharp part that pierces the skin. This is a flexible catheter, this stays in your skin. They fit like this, they come apart like this.” He gestured the action of them separating and coming together several times before setting them aside. He picked up the unused one, “The faster I get this done, the less it’ll hurt.” Loki gave him a calculating glare and then looked up at Clint.

“I wouldn’t let him do it if it wasn’t for your own good,” he reassured, taking a step toward him to put a comforting hand upon his shoulder.

“Harm me and I will make you suffer greatly before granting you death,” Loki growled, reluctantly surrendering his arm and turned his face away, squeezing his eyes shut.

“Okay,” his lips twitched as he laid the god’s arm in his lap and re-sterilised the spot. “I need you to relax the rest of your body, but close your fist. Not tightly, just enough to keep it closed. There…like that,” Banner angled his body to try and block as much of the god’s line of sight as he touched the area around his intended stick spot. He pulled the skin taunt, and said a silent prayer that he wouldn’t end up punched or hexed, and pushed the needle in.

Loki went ridged and let out a low long hiss as he felt the pinch and sting from the device. It wasn’t like any of the other times he had been brutally attacked by a person in gloves and uniform. This was still painful, yet not horrific. He felt pressure on the spot and closed his eyes tighter hoping it would end soon. He was starting to feel the phantom pricks from the other times along his back and it was making him restlessly uneasy.

Bruce quickly removed the stylet, attached the IV extension set, put a clear tegaderm dressing over the spot, and used the thin strips of tape Tony handed him to keep the line secure. He let go of the god’s arm and quickly went to toss the trash into the proper receptacles. “There we go,” he said letting out a breath of relief.

The god couldn’t help but blink a bit confused, “That is all?” He looked down at his arm a bit confused.

“Don’t sound surprised. I’m not a sadist,” he laughed removing the tourniquet and waited a moment before gently flushing the line. “It’s a good stick; this should last until you need to come off of fluids. That is so long as you don’t do anything to upset it.” Loki shook his head in a silent promise he’d be extra careful with it.

“Would you all mind giving us a minute alone?” Clint implored looking at each of his friends. “Just for a short time?” he bargained when he saw Tony and Bruce’s apprehension.

“Yes,” Thor said without hesitation and gave Loki one last look, which the mage ignored, before leaving.

“I’ll go grab another set of sheets and clothes for him to change into” he shifted awkwardly as he pulled off his gloves. “Tony will help me.”

“What?”

“Yep let’s go.” He pulled him toward the door without looking back, part of him relieved to be leaving the room, the other still not satisfied that he had done enough to make sure Loki was fine. The big guy had started to become aggressive at the sight of a former enemy up and somewhat moving around, so he thought it best to give the medical stuff a rest until later.

The door closed behind them and Clint turned to shyly look at him. “May I sit?”

The god nodded his permission and waited until Barton had settled on the bed next to his hip, turned to face him, before deciding to look at the archer.

“Hi.” Clint smiled.

“Hello,” he said quietly.

Barton gestured around them, “welcome to the Avenger’s Tower.”

Loki swallowed and bowed his head, “it is an honour.”

They fell silent, both realising sadly just how uncomfortable being together in reality was turning out to be. The ease they had found in Clint’s dreams and Loki’s mind was gone. No more privacy and the worry of others overhearing them mixed with the anxiety of their reactions to the news of Barton and Loki’s bond hung heavily around them. They had been carefree and open, yet now found themselves guarded against not only the others in the house but themselves. It was strange, having to start from scratch yet again.

“About earlier,” Barton said pointing toward the door and then at their faces. “With Tasha, I –”

“She was in the right,” Loki interrupted pulling the blanket over his lap, and smoothed it out as a means to distract himself. “I was expecting a great deal worse than a simple punch. After all, whenever we have come face to face we never had anything more than uncivil words or actions for the other.”

“Well…you’re here now…we broke from S.H.I.E.L.D. We all get to start over,” he touched the god’s hand tentatively and then decided it was fine to hold it. “Even you.”

“How many am I responsible for?” he asked not taking his eyes off of his knees.

“I don’t want to talk about that now,” Clint confessed, his shoulders deflating a little at the sudden turn of Loki’s thoughts.

“Once I am well I will leave. I do not wish to be a burden to those whom I have already ladened down.”

“We’ve all talked and Tony has given you permission to stay. Here. In the mansion. There are a ton of floors and I have my own set of rooms. Since…well since this,” he gestured between them with his thumb, still holding onto the god’s hand, “I thought you’d stay…with me? There isn’t much in it right now, and I’ve never owned a lot, but I’m sure we can figure some way to make it –”

“A home?” he cut in, his voice holding a sliver of bitterness. The rest was weighted in sadness and guilt.

“Yeah…” he licked his lips and looked Loki over before he tried filling the silence again. “I was going to start looking at colours, to paint the walls. We both like darker tones. I’ve been looking at couches and beds and I found a few nice ones. I know they all said you could stay, but I didn’t think they expected you to move in with me. Maybe they had an idea, but I don’t think anyone wanted to –”

“Clint,” he pleaded closing his eyes.

He took a breath to calm his nerves. “And we have our own security codes,”

“Please Clint, cease,”

“Tony will probably make you an ID card tonight,”

Loki squeezed his hand and looked at him seriously, “Do not do this.”

“Do what?”

“I am not an ally of –”

“Okay well, while you were hanging between life and death I was smoothing things over with everyone. Yeah they don’t trust you, but some of them know me very well, and if I say you’re fine and not going to kill them then they believe me.”

“Please tell me the level of destruction I have caused this planet.”

Clint turned his face away from him and continued on, not wanting to get into and support his pity party. “Banner and Stark wanted to talk with us about what happened. I think they suspect the truth, and I know Thor has hinted enough that I confirmed it.”

“Clinton,”

He sighed moving along and stared at his lap, “but I don’t want to say much more without you, it was only fair.” He felt Loki’s grip flex as his body went still at that word. That word, which seemed so promising and innocent to a great deal of people, was a curse for him.

“Nothing in the universe is –”

“Hundreds!” he snapped at him finally losing his patience. He saw Loki flinch and quieted his voice looking back at his lap, ready to punch his own face in for even giving in and starting this conversation. “The death count has reached at least a hundred…there were more injured but they’re still cleaning up buildings and finding bodies…”

The god swallowed, “I cannot begin to apologise…how will I ever make amends?”

“It’s not the worst that has ever happened to this city, believe it or not,” he laughed portentously. “Even with Phil…gone…” he swallowed and closed his eyes holding back those feelings.

Loki felt a stab of guilt at the mention of the agent he had so cruelly killed at the height of his madness. He had never wished in his life for an action to be reversed so badly. He had tried to stop it, but was unsuccessful. Oh did the darkness make him suffer for that. He shivered and turned his face away ashamed.

Clint sensed his distress and rubbed his thumb over the back of his hand. “Don’t. I know looking back on things is awful, but you were under some bat shit crazy thing that limited control of your actions.”

“I had more freedom than you; I should have…stopped myself.” He shook his head, “That was taking it too far…”

“We all have things –”

“Don’t!” Loki cut him off sharply.

“You don’t!” he snapped back. “Or have you forgotten I have demons just as dark and terrible. Maybe even worse?”

He sneered at him, “I tried destroying my own kind out of anger and fear.”

“I killed innocent children on the side for extra cash.” He shrugged not willing to let him go down that road without realising he wasn’t alone.

“I played a hand in the death of hundreds in your precious realm.”

“Hey, I was on board that crazy train too,”

“I carved out a stranger’s eye needlessly. I –”

“I let my brother die.” Clint admitted flatly.

Loki blinked taken aback before he tried reasoning with him gently, “I’m sure you–”

“I knew where he was, who he was working for, and what he was doing. I turned him in and stood by and watched him die.”

Loki thought back to the anger the archer had shown while they had argued in his mind. He realised that vicious pain had not just been the rage of losing a loved one, as what he had originally thought; it was the humiliation, the guilt, and the betrayal. He harboured that moment deeper to his soul and had twisted it darker than Loki had ever done with one of his own transgressions.

“I hate myself,” he whispered turning away once he realised he was not going to win this fight.

“Everyone does. Even Tony; he is just better at hiding it. It’s a part of…well I guess it’s just a part of living. You’ll have your proud moments, your shameful ones, your wins, loses, mistakes and gains,” he shrugged and sighed, gratefully sensing the subject coming to a close at last. “You can only beat yourself up over so many things before it fucks you up too badly.” He got up, still holding onto the god’s hand even when Loki had loosened his grip. “Why do you want to talk about this now?”

“I realised I never asked before…” he said quietly. “No one ever told me anything, except that I was horrible for what I did and that nothing I did could fix it.”

“Oh Loki,” Clint whispered and bent forward, tucking some of his wild hair behind his ear. “No, anything that is broken can be fixed.”

“Anything?” he blinked as moisture suddenly overwhelmed his eyes.

Clint brushed his knuckles down the god’s cheek and nodded his head, “Anything.” The god squeezed his eyes shut and tilted his face toward the archer’s warm palm. “We can finish this discussion later if you want. I can give you more details…it’s really not as bad as what everyone is making it out to be. Honestly we’ve had worse. This city is a hot spot; I don’t know why anyone still lives here.”

“It still does not excuse my actions,”

“No, but trying to make amends will,” he sighed and straightened. “Right now though we only have Thor fully supporting us,” he ignored the flare of annoyance and roll of Loki’s eyes at the mention of his brother. “If we have any hope of you staying safe on Earth, we have to talk to the others and explain what is going on.”

Loki considered his words for a second before he felt the dark entity stirring impatiently in the back of his mind. “I have one last thing to confess.”

“Yes?”

He looked up at him, “I…I never told you that –”

“I don’t have to stay with you just because a tree decided to play matchmaker? Yeah, I already know.” Clint smiled at the god’s dumbfounded expression and leaned down again to peck his lips, “I told you already, I want this.”

“How?” he frowned confused. “How did you…?”

Clint tapped Loki’s chest and smiled at him before leaning in to kiss him again, this time Loki responded.

Slow…gentle… soft… new…shy…

He sighed grateful and threated his fingers into the archer’s hair, pulling him closer. The dark force hissed in dissatisfaction and faded to the place it stayed when not tormenting him. His heart fluttered as they broke apart slowly. “I…I am ready…”

Clint nodded and kissed his hand before going to get the three, who he knew were waiting, out in the hall. They could do this. He looked back at the god, who fidgeted with his fingers as he stared into his lap, waiting miserably for the inevitable. He sent a wave a reassuring calm to him and then smiled to himself. They would make it through this…together.

 -------------------------------------------------

“I thought we agreed everyone was going to handle this in a calm fashion?” Steve demanded as he followed her along the halls back to their room.

“I’m sorry!” she cried kicking at the elevator door and punched the button once they were inside it. “I just saw him and I…AH!” she kicked the door again and dented it slightly.

Rogers took a breath and then tried once more. “Okay, you don’t have to spontaneously like the guy, but punching him–” she opened her mouth to protest and he held up his hands and continued before she could, “–is no way to start off a healing process. The man has been in a coma for weeks! The least you could have done was waited until dinner time before you started whaling on him.”

She snapped her mouth, closed it, and huffed walking off the lift once doors opened. He followed her down the hall past the living room and kitchen space until they reached the bedroom. He paused at the door as she kicked it opened. Natasha stopped to take a few deep breaths before she continued in, grabbing Steve’s shirt collar, dragging him inside.

\-------------------------------------------------

Bruce turned on his swivel stool. “So it’s true? We were right?” He looked at Stark who gave the two before them the same amazed and confused look he knew he wore himself.

“I mean we weren’t a hundred percent sure they could talk to each other in their brains,” Tony flitted a hand nervously around his head before opting to fold his arms in front of his chest tightly.

“It’s crazy, I know, but it’s not a twenty-four/seven thing. We can switch it on and off…sort of,” Clint tried explaining as he tucked a fresh sheet around the god.

“It is a common ability that comes from years of being married on Asgard,” Loki offered, hoping that would help explain something, as he finished buttoning his top.

“But it’s only been a month?” Banner puzzled.

“Seven weeks,” Tony corrected. “It’s been seven weeks from the day you said it happened.”

“We believe the Tesseract has something to do with that,” the god of mischief confessed, moving his arms out of the way, as Thor and Barton shook out and set the warm blanket over him. “While…sleeping, Clint and I tested and worked on finding out the strength of the bond. We were once heavily influenced and controlled by her, it only makes since that because we…interacted together more, than with anyone else, our connection ended up this strong.”

“Yeah, but then why isn’t Selvig joining up with you or other members?” Tony pointed out.

“Uh…well…” Clint scratched his neck embarrassed and looked down at the floor.

“We were personally very intimate with each other,” the god stated matter-of-factly. He might not have enjoyed showing his affections for another in front of an audience, but sex was not something to be looked down upon or thought of as a major event among adults in Asgard. It was something that happened and therefore was not a reason for celebration or alarm; unless the ending results provided unplanned offspring or one was found to be forceful without the consent of the other party.

“Oh,” the two scientists were rendered speechless. Shocked, they blinked a few times, unsure of how to properly react, let alone what to say, after such a blunt confession. They had guess as much, but they honestly hadn’t put much thought into it.

Loki looked between the two of them sensing their discomfort and added, “Barton also learned how to control some of the powers the mind stone gives the ones under her influence. He was the only one that I recruited who sought control over and resisted her forcefully. Because of that it alienated him from the others. He was able to regain some of his own free-will.”

“You keep saying ‘her’ and ‘she’, who are you talking about?” Banner inquired finding a new place to direct the conversation.

“The Tesseract,” Loki said as if it were obvious and realised their confusion. “Ah, you assumed she was purely an inanimate object? I must confess I do not understand it all entirely myself. Growing up, the Tesseract was merely a legend told to us as entertainment. I only came to understand it as truth when I…fell.” He stopped and pressed his lips together tightly as the memories of that time flashed before his eyes. Clint shivered as a few of them slipped into his mind and felt Loki cut their connection off sharply. He stared at the god who gave him an apologetic look. “I did not mean for you to see that.”

He reached his hand out and took Loki’s, giving it a small squeeze before he turned back to the two men, whose minds were reeling, before them. Their brains working on overload to sort through and store this new information, after matching certain pieces together. Both geniuses having to come to terms with the fact that this was a puzzle much larger than what they’d originally assumed it to be, and that they might not be the ones to solve it.

“So…” Barton said interrupting their thought process. They gave him their undivided attention, waiting silently for him to continue. “The next question is…how do you all feel about this?” He gestured between the god and himself.

“I am most pleased!” Thor offered merrily from the seat he had taken up in the corner.

“Yes, we are already aware of what _you_ think,” Loki muttered irritably.

“Well,” Banner shrugged and raised his eyebrows. “I can’t really…tell you what to do. But if you are bound to Clint and you can no longer harm people, and you mean that you want to make things right, then we can try to be friends. You’re going to have to be patient with the other guy though, he doesn’t forgive easily.”

“Yeah,” Stark nodded, knowing that truth all too well, and then awkwardly offered, “I mean I used to swing both ways, so I understand the appeal of…the…other…” he rubbed his nose and then looked around and headed towards the door. “I need a drink.”

“Get me one?” Banner asked, holding aloft the keys to the liquor cabinet.

Tony eagerly took them, stole a kiss of gratitude on Banner’s cheek and hurried to the door. “Congrats!” he called running off. “Tell me how Thanksgiving works out!”

“Well…” Bruce scratched the back of his neck as he stood and went to the side of the bed to offer his hand to the god. “Welcome to the team.”

Loki hesitated a moment before shaking it with a polite nod of his head. “Thank you,” he said quietly and averted his eyes.

“So…I’m going to have to keep you here for a while. Clint was starting to move things into his room today, doing a little basic training to get his stamina back up and stuff. I guess you’ll finish that tomorrow…?”

“I don’t have a lot. I had just unzipped my bag when I felt it and Jarvis announced the news. I’ll unpack quickly and then come back.”

“Your recovery is a priority as well. I will not let you hinder your own well-being just to watch me. I will be fine,” the god insisted stubbornly.

“You sure?”

“Yes. I hate to admit it, but I could do with some rest,” he sighed and tried holding back a yawn.

“I shall acquire sustenance for you,” Thor offered as he quickly rose with a bright smile upon his face.

“I am fine,” Loki muttered under his breath darkly.

“Eating would do you good,” Banner explained putting on his glasses. “Okay, a little food, some rest; Clint you start building yourself back up; Thor, try not to break anything in the kitchen. No,” he said, holding up a finger knowingly before the question could be asked, “poptarts are not an option at this time. I’m going to make some preparations and work out a code for you with Tony.” He rubbed his chin and headed for the door. “I should also make sure Pepper knows about all of this. Excuse me. I’ll return later.” He nodded to each of them and left.

Loki frowned at Barton confused. “Pepper?”

“She’s Tony’s girlfriend. She is supposed to be here in a few days.” The trickster nodded his head understandingly and shifted back upon the bed, completely exhausted.

“I will return with food.” Thor declared gently and marched off, trying still to contain his over bursting joy over his brother finally being conscious.

Loki sighed irritated at his behaviour and looked up at Clint sadly, “you must leave as well.”

Clint brushed his fingers gently through Loki’s tangled hair and smiled, “It can wait a little. Besides,” he sat on the edge of the bed. “I don’t think Natasha will be in the mood to do much of anything for a while. I’ll probably end up sorting socks into a dresser until I fall asleep.”

“Sounds a noble workout,” Loki joked as his eyes fluttered. He looked at the hanging fluid bags next to him and shivered again.

“Are you cold?”

“No, just…remembering…” he closed his eyes.

“I’m sorry I –”

“If I am not allowed to wallow over my past, you are not permitted to either.” He cracked an eye, watching him curiously.

“Fair enough,” he chuckled, trying to ignore the way Loki flinched at the word. He smoothed the blankets over him a bit and adjusted his grip on the mage’s hand. “You don’t have to worry about that again.”

“Don’t I?”

“No, you don’t. I won’t let that happen to you. Ever. Besides, this one is just fluid to keep you hydrated and this one is the medicine you’ve been on for a while.”

“Thank you,” he breathed as exhaustion slipped over him. “For…giving me a chance…”

“Of course,” he said leaning forward to kiss Loki’s forehead. As he pulled away Loki used the last of his energy to tilt his head up and Clint kissed his lips gently. “Sleep…” he murmured as Loki complied without another word or hesitation.

\-------------------------------------------------

“What do you mean he’s not available!?” she shouted into the phone.

“Fury had him go off on a small mission.”

“Where?”

“That’s classified. I was ordered to have you stake out the area for any suspicious activity. We’ve been informed that they might be somewhere around there.”

“In these woods!? Really Maria, you have to be kidding me. Tony Stark chilling in the woods? He’d rather lose his dick than hang out in the woods or around a small town like this.”

“Don’t underestimate him. Or any of them,” Hill warned. “I’ve told you all that I know and what your orders are. Please find them.”

“Fine,” Morales huffed. “Only because I’ve been doing this as a favour and I know if we don’t do this thing right, life is only going to get worse for us.”

“Thank you,” Maria sighed relieved.

“Don’t sound so happy.  We haven’t found any sign of them yet and we don’t know if that crazy alien is up or not. If he is, we’re in trouble.”

“I’m sure if Loki Laufeyson were up we’d have already heard about it.”

“Never underestimate a wild animal that has experience escaping capture. He’ll bide his time. He seems like a patient motherfucker.”

“Patient or not, we can only do so much for now.”

“I still say we scope out Stark’s place in New York,” Ali said sullenly.

“Stark is too clever to stay in one place when he knows people are looking for him,” she sighed, tired of having to explain this concept to yet another person. This argument was old and had already been proven inaccurate several times. She had better things to do with her time than go back and forth over this again.

“Yeah but the construction –”

“We’ve already contacted Ms Potts and she has assured us that all repairs were ordered before their disappearance.”

“But the lights –”

“Are automatic. Pepper already explained how all Stark Industry buildings have that coded into their security system to deter people from entering a building.”

“Yeah, now I’m going to ask you the same thing I asked Nickie: Who is she fucking again?”

Maria pinched the bridge of her nose and closed her eyes as she felt a headache forming. “That is none of my business.”

She laughed ruefully, “funny. He said the same thing.”

“Regardless, we have been given proof that her claims are true. Just keep your eyes peeled and scan the area at night. Report all unusual activity.”

“Roger that.”

She hung up the phone and rubbed at her temple as she leaned back in her chair exhausted. As much as she loved Ali, that woman could be a pain. Boss’s sister or no…

“Everything alright?” Phil asked from the door.

“You’re up?” she stood to attention quickly.

“Yeah,” he smiled and shrugged a new jacket on. “I should probably head out soon.”

“How are you feeling?”

“Better, thanks. Did you give Fury my reports?”

“Yes, he is reading them now.”

“Good,” Phil smoothed out his jacket and went to the desk, picking up his keys. “Are we still over the same city?”

“No, we moved to the West Coast. Fury wanted to track Pepper for a bit, but we can’t seem to find where she is. We sent a team to scope out Stark’s Malibu place but no one was there and JARVIS has been deactivated.”

“Alright, one less place to look,”

“Do you need a jet?”

“No, I’ve got Lola waiting for me. I’ll just jump down and make my way to them.”

“Are you sure you don’t want us to head back over there?”

“Nah, I’ll be fine. Besides, I should probably say ‘hi’ to Selvig and Foster. I think they’re in Oklahoma right now, yes?”

“Yes.”

“Good. There is a small diner there with very good home fries.”

“Phil, this isn’t a vacation,” she sighed sadly.

“I know,” he nodded as he headed back into the room to retrieve his travel backpack.

“Do you really think just walking to where they are is a good idea?”

“What else am I going to do? Send them notes or appear on the TV? I’m supposed to be dead, remember?”

“And Laufeyson is still out there.”

“Yes, the Odinson brothers are,” he shrugged on the pack. “And so are Tony, Banner, Rogers, Romanoff and Barton.”

Maria went up and helped him buckle and tighten the straps. “I don’t like it. I have this… _feeling_.”

“I’ll be fine,” he reassured, holding her hands still for a moment until she looked at him. “I promise.”

She sighed giving in, “Alright…just be careful.”

“When have I never been?” he laughed. “I’ll ask someone to drop me off.”

“Change your car every few states, get good sleep, and be –”

“Careful, I know,” he smiled down at her and squeezed her hands before letting them go. “I’ll send reports, change ids, and pick up a bag of clothes to wear out in public so as not to draw attention.”

She sighed and brushed her bangs from her face, “Alright.”

“I won’t be out of contact for long,” he went to the door and opened it. “Once I find them, I’m going to Xavier’s and finishing the negotiations. Things in Washington are becoming too aggressive. They are trying to involve kids now.”

“Don’t even get me started. The council is pushing for that garbage to be passed.” Maria rolled her eyes, anger gripping her tightly all over.

Phil shook his head, “Why do we work here again?”

“Because the only way to leave is to be verified as dead or switch sides. We can’t afford either,”

“We could always make our own,” he grinned thoughtfully.

“And who would fund us?”

“Steal from the rich and give to the poor.”

“Alright Robin Hood,” she laughed going over and giving him a gentle shove. “Better run off before your Merry Men leave you behind again.”

“Yes Maid Marian,” he saluted and exited the room.

Hill shook her head and turned to close the bedroom door before going back to the computer. Shutting it down she scooped up the giant stack of files, regarding all of the main persons involved in the New York incident, and headed to Fury’s office.

“You okay?” he asked as she entered the room.

She looked up and found him standing before one of the large windows. “Yes.”

“Good.” He turned and nodded to his desk. “Have you read it?” She shook her head. “Read it.”

Hill swallowed and went over, setting the stack in her arms down before taking up the extensive and thick file of hand written pages, and sat.

 _“The Soul Gems, or Infinity Gems, are said to be the remains of Nemesis, who split itself into six pieces many aeons ago.”_ She stopped and looked up at Fury. “Is this a joke?”

“Keep reading,” he turned back to look out the window.

She sighed and returned her attention back on the first page: “ _Legend says Nemesis had not wanted to live as the only sentience in the universe. The gems are pieces of its being and hold cosmic abilities. The first was for soul; the second for power; the third for time; the fourth for mind; the fifth for space; and the last for reality…”_ Hill stopped and frowned. The last line looked as though Phil had written and erased something there multiple times before finally deciding the numbers were a better option. She was about ready voice a few questions, but was cut short by Fury repeating his words from before: “Keep reading…”

She shifted in her seat and did as she was instructed.

\-------------------------------------------------

Steve leaned over and kissed her bare shoulder as he wrapped his arm around her waist. She snuggled closer to him and inhaled his scent as the evening air blew in from the opened window, cooling their heated skin. They had spent almost the whole day either arguing or passionately expelling their frustrations upon each other. He winced as he rolled his shoulder and was sure the claw marks savagely slashed along his back would take a several days to properly heal; super-soldier abilities or no. He was also sure it would take the same amount of time for the bruises along her thighs and hips to disappear as well.

He let his hand drift down and gently touched that area. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, ashamed that he kept forgetting his strength.

Natasha sighed tired, “Nothing’s broken. I’ll heal.”

Steve pressed his lips to her shoulder again before trying ‘The Question’ for the fifth time that evening, and prayed it wouldn’t start another fight. “Are you ready to sit down and hear Clint and Loki’s story out?”

She gave an annoyed growl and tightened her grip on his upper arm before she relaxed and gave a defeated huff against his collar bone. “No…but…” she sighed heavily dissatisfied. “I owe it to him to try…and I promised,” she added in a guilty and defeated tone.

He nodded and rubbed small circles upon her lower back, pleased with her answer this time. He didn’t think he could suffer through another round of physical hand-to-hand combat followed by highly physical body-to-body bed sport. He was exhausted, and that was saying something.

“I might reconsider it in the morning though…” Tasha’s whisper was barely audible as she succumbed to sleep, and he smiled knowing that her small threat held no promise. She was so cute when she was trying to be feisty.

Now it was time to move onto the bigger questions…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so it begins...


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As a Halloween gift, and because I have enough chapters already written right now, I am going to attempt to post a chapter a week.
> 
> Thank you everyone for your comments/kudos/coming back to read. I really appreciate it. You all are the best!
> 
> All mistakes are my own. Please enjoy the chapter!

\----------------------18----------------------

Loki sat in bed, absently twisting a violet coloured sphere along his fingertips, gazing at the opposite wall lost in thought.

Clint tapped his arm gently and offered him the bowl of oatmeal. “Eat; it will make you feel better.”

The god shook his head. “I am not hungry, thank you though.”

The archer sighed heavily and stirred the contents of the bowl, before picking up the spoon, and pushed it toward Loki’s lips defiantly. “Eat,” he demanded kindly, nudging the utensil against his mouth until he opened it and let the room temperature mushy substance drop onto his tongue. “Now chew.”

The trickster did as he was told and swallowed slowly, shaking his head and holding his hand up to push the spoon away again. “I cannot…”

“Okay,” he set the meal down understandingly. “I just wanted you to eat at least one bite.”

The god did not respond. It had been a full day since he had awakened and fought with Natasha. A full day since he had admitted what his failings were. Clint had sat next to him almost the entire time and watched him slip slowly into external silence. Inside, however, he could just hear the sounds of war raging within Loki’s skull. He was punishing himself with words; letting himself twist the truth, negatively exemplifying his hyperbolised imagined actions until he somehow beat it back into himself that he was a living nightmare.

“Loki,” Clint leaned forward and brushed his knuckles along his warm cheek. His fever had returned. It seemed to be a variation to his seizures. Instead of the monitors flashing and warning signs going off to alert for help, Loki would become feverish and tense up every once in a while. Sometimes he’d grip a part of his body with a hiss or choke back a sob. Clint would offer assistance, but the god waved him away each time. He would shake and shiver horribly and then it would all subside only to return a few hours later. It had been a long frustrating night and Barton was exhausted from it.

He had tried talking with Loki. He had hoped that if he could get him to say more than a few words it would help distract him from the pain or manage to pull him from the nastiness of his thoughts. Clint wanted things to be the way they had been in the poppy field. It was becoming harder and harder to do so. The longer he lay in bed, the quieter he became and the more frequent his fevers appeared.

In their minds, things had been so simple, so freeing, and so intimate. In reality there were people and mundane distractions that now plagued their time together, but Clint was stubborn and he wasn’t about to give up. He’d sit by him, either trying to feed him or distract him physically with a kiss, a touch, or tell him about the useless things that were going on around the mansion. All attempts lead nowhere and when he had to leave the room, it left the both of them feeling more disconnected and alone than before.

The door hissed opened and in stepped Natasha, purpose written all over her face. Loki didn’t turn to look at her, nor did he make any indication that he knew she was there.

Clint rose from the bedside, “hey.”

“Hi,” she said hiding her discomfort as best as she could. “I need…we need to talk.” She glanced at Loki for a moment before looking back at the archer. “Alone.”

“Okay,” he turned to the god and gently touched him. Loki jerked back into reality and gazed at him. “I’m going for a bit. I’ll be back, alright?” The god nodded slowly and went back to staring at the wall without a word.

Clint sighed disappointedly and followed Natasha out. They walked in silence along the halls until they entered the community kitchen area. Steve was at the stove working on something that smelled delicious. He looked up and waved at them as they passed. Natasha held up her hand in greeting and then cross the tiny second living room and went out onto the balcony. Clint mimicked the action and shut the door behind him to give them privacy.

“Alright,” she said taking a deep breath as she tucked some hair behind her ear and leaned back against the railing, watching him walk toward her.

“Alright,” he said stopping a few feet away.

“You didn’t come running to me, so I figured I’d…find you.”

Barton realised what she was talking about and nodded. He went over and stood next to her. “You probably have already guessed it.”

“I don’t want to make assumptions again; that’s what got us into the other mess.”

“Yes.”

Her lips tightened a bit. She wasn’t sure if that ‘yes’ was agreeing to her last statement or confirming her fears. “Yes?”

“You’re the only one I can really talk to about this; comfortably anyways. I can’t with Thor, that’s…weird; Banner and Steve just listen because they’re too nice not too; and Tony is…well the same but with a leash.”

“Okay,” she let out a breath slowly and turned around to rest on her forearms, giving herself a moment before looking at him, “get on with it.”

He licked his lips and stared down at his hands as he rubbed his thumb into his palm nervously, “When I was under the Tesseract’s control I did sleep with Loki.” He felt her tense next to him. “I never told anyone before because…I was ashamed too.”

“He didn’t force you, did he?” Her voice dropped in threat as her protective nature kicked in.

“No! No!” he held up his hands and took a step back. “Not like that! I didn’t mean ashamed as in I regretted it. I just...okay,” he took a deep breath and ran a hand threw his hair, “when I first looked back at it, it did seem as such, but then I thought about it. I was mad at the time. I wanted someone to blame, I wanted to pretend that I didn’t want it all, that I was upset over the things that I had done, but I wasn’t. Well there are a few things, but when it comes to him and I? I pulled him close. I helped him undress…I _wanted_ it.”

“Did you really or are you now saying that to just deal with –”

“No, I’m saying it now because it was true then, just as it is true now.” He looked at her and then rubbed the back of his neck, “I’ve thought a lot about what happened: what I did, who I killed –”

“Clint–”

“– and I’ve realised that it’s okay.”

“Okay?” That was not what she had expected him to say. He was a wreck after the battle. He took two days off to sleep and then reported in for work and went through basic training again to keep his mind off of things. He had attended every S.H.I.E.L.D. agent’s funeral he had killed. He had volunteered a ton of time to clean up. He never spoke of it unless they were alone, and when he did he spent the entire time beating himself up and apologising over and over again.

She could still remember the weight of his head in her lap as she tried to calm him down. She remembered the week his room had been full of nothing but booze. The alcohol bottles strewn around, some empty some not. She remembered his fridge being stocked with nothing but bottles and bottles. She remembered when she had found him in the bathtub cradling a handle and calming contemplating suicide aloud to himself. ‘Okay,’ had been the last word she’d guess he’d use when talking about this past years events.

“Yeah, I…I have to stop beating myself up over things like this. How long am I going to keep reliving the past? Keep letting all of the bad things I’ve done weigh me down?”

“And you came to this…?”

“I spent the time we didn’t talk to each other just thinking. I was also affected by the ‘Nightshade Sleep’, remember? Being forced to relive those events…it showed me that no matter how many times I wished I could go back and change things, there was nothing I could have done to fix any of it. They happened for a reason.”

“That’s not how that serum is supposed to work.”

“I know, but were not normal, remember?” he smiled and leaned on the railing in the same manner as her. “How many times have either of us been captured and tortured?”

“I think you win for the most out of the two of us.”

“Alright fair enough; you are better at stealth in up close situation.” They both laughed a little, mainly to relieve the tension they felt over the subject. Barton moved closer to her. “But on a serious note, Tasha…I could have stopped him the night he came to Earth, but I didn’t. I froze. We both were wide open and I couldn’t bring myself to move. I hesitated because I felt that it was…wrong to stop him.”

“We don’t work on feelings.”

“We work on instinct and that is sort of a feeling when you think about it.”

Natasha couldn’t argue there. As much as she wanted too, as much as she needed to prove him wrong, there was something deep inside of her that told her to stay silent and let him finish. She looked at him and wrapped her arms around one of his, nodding her head and indicated for him to carry on.

Clint took a deep breath and decided to take his time explaining the next part. “I realise now…I wanted to follow him. I saw him and somewhere deep inside of me I said ‘stay with him’,” he ruffled up his hair and exhaled slowly as he tried to find words for the rest of his feelings. “Like when I met you. I saw you and my mind went ‘friend. Ally. Companion. _Family_ ’; I couldn’t hurt you, no matter how hard I tried. And trust me I tried because my ass was already in trouble and the last thing I needed was to screw up that mission.”

“So you looked at him and said, ‘I’d really love him to bend me over and fuck my brains out’?”

He smiled at her rare use of crudeness. “Well not at first,” he chuckled and bit his bottom lip as his amusement faded. “In all seriousness though…I can only say he felt…familiar.”

Natasha sighed and looked down at the traffic below. Clint was too nice of a person. He always trusted people he shouldn’t have. _But how many times had he trusted someone and it turned out for the best? But how many times had he trusted someone and it turned out for the worst?_ Being friends with him was like flipping a coin…or playing Russian roulette.

“Are you –”

“Give me a moment. I need to let this settle in.” She closed her eyes and took a breath before she glanced up at him and then scolded, “While we’re talking serious business here, you need to start finishing your meals and take all of your vitamins from now on.”

“Oh Tasha, don’t!” he sighed rolling his eyes at her maternal tone.

“You won’t get better if you don’t eat!” she insisted and then reluctantly added a few words of wisdom that she knew would help, “Loki will eat in time, just like it took a while for you to start eating again.” She looked at him; his small grin warmed her heart, even if the words had burned her tongue. “I have a new workout and if you can’t finish a regular meal you’re not going to make it.”

His smile widened. Clint wrapped his arms around her, giving her a big hug. “I love you Natasha.”

“Yeah, yeah,” she shoved him playfully and rested her head against his chest. They stood like that for a while before she shifted, her stomach churning with a sudden thought. “Clint?”

“Yeah?”

“He’s not…he’s not going to kill–”

“No, he’s harmless now.”

She sighed and relaxed against him again. “Good…” she swallowed and decided another try at being somewhat nice wouldn’t hurt. “Do something with his hair though.”

Clint laughed and held her closer. “You’re one to talk. Remember Budapest?”

“Obviously you don’t.”

“Yeah well your hair wasn’t spectacular then either,”

“Are you insulting me?” her voice darkened in threat, but Clint knew she was faking. If she was _really_ offended she would have flipped him over the side or knocked him out without having said anything.

“Being in a relationship has made you soft. It’s cute.”

She slapped his chest hard enough that he let her go to rub at the abused spot. “Your ass is toast tomorrow at training,” she said unhappily and turned away from him.

“Oh, I’m so scared,” he pretended to cower and made his knees shake. “See? I’m trembling,” he slipped his arms around her again and rested his check against hers.

“Keep mocking me; see if I show mercy.”

He kissed the top of her head. “You’re still cute.”

She elbowed him, this time her abusive touch was gentler. “No mercy.”

\-------------------------------------------------

Maria Hill closed the file and set it aside. She leaned back in the chair stiffly and laced her fingers together before placing them on her crossed legs. “What do you want me to do?”

“Make sure Phil can get to them in peace and secretly. Now that he knows everything, maybe they’ll listen to that –” he sighed defeated and finished softly, “…to Loki.”

“Do you really think Laufeyson will tell them all of this?”

“I doubt he remembers any of it. If he does I don’t think he’ll come right out and say something, but then again,…his…this feelings thing and the way he seems to care for Agent Barton…it might change things.”’

“How do we know this is real and not something he concocted to show the professor?”

“Xavier isn’t easily fooled. He’s done this long enough.”

Hill stood from her seat, “How many others are privileged to read this?”

“Three…and they’ve already read it.”

She frowned before she realised what that meant: Phil, the person who wrote it; Fury; and her. “What happens if one of us is eliminated?”

“Then there are two more who know apart from the original source and the one that tapped into his head.”

“What if this information is leaked?”

“This isn’t going to be leaked.” Fury went to his desk and picked them up. “I’m hiding them until further notice.”

She nodded her head. “I’ll keep finding things for his team to do. Would you like me to send a squad out to check that the city is safe before we move again?”

Fury nodded and went back to the window. “Yes…and one around New York. Send one out in every major city. Wherever they are, we can only give them and Phil time. Put the orders under my name.”

She nodded her head again and left the room, leaving the director with his conflicting thoughts to stare out of the window and down to the Earth below.

\-------------------------------------------------

Banner hit the trigger button, letting a clay disc loose into the air. Thor spun at the last moment and smashed it with his hammer before rolling to the side and shimmied under a low hanging horizontal pole. He rose, racing up the ramp to his right. A set of swinging holographic blades shot out in front of him, causing him to stagger backward for a second. He regained his balance and took a moment to count their rhythm before dodging between them and leaping up onto the platform. The buzzer went off.

“Cape touched blade seven,” JARVIS announced as the simulator began resetting itself. The platform Thor was standing upon slowly lowered down to the ground.

“It was just a cape!” the other guy shouted. Bruce covered his mouth and took a step back, trying to rein in the Hulk as he riled up inside of him. “Sorry,” he managed and closed his eyes taking a breath.

“My calculations indicate that if the blade had been real, it would have snagged on the fabric and thrown him off balance,” JARVIS explained.

“The Voice of Wisdom is right,” the thunder god set Mjölnir down and unfastened the rich fabric from his shoulders. “I should have tucked it in my belt or removed it. I was not thinking clearly. Thank you for pointing that out, sir.”

“No need to thank me Master Odinson, it is my job.”

“Lunch!” Steve called from the elevator and pushed the run/stop button to wait for them.

“Come friend,” Thor smiled clapping the gamma-specialist on the back. “We can try again later.”

“Yeah yeah…” the other guy whispered sulking as they made their way back to the higher levels. The three of them stepped off the lift and found Clint holding a tray, with Natasha standing behind him, heading toward the medical wing.

“Hey guys,” Clint turned to smile at them.

“Hey,”

“Greetings!”

“Everything alright?” Steve asked.

“Yeah, just going to eat.”

“Why don’t you eat with us?” No one could miss the apprehension in the soldier’s voice.

Steve looked at Natasha who just nodded her head, assuring him that everything was fine, and put her hand on Clint’s arm with a smile. “Maybe tomorrow? He already promised Loki that he would return.” She nudged the archer before she could snap some sense into herself and change her mind. “I’ll be back, save me a seat!” she called hoping no one would follow them.

Thor went to the sink and wash his hands. “I think it is good that they spend some time together.”

“Loki and Clint, or Clint and Natasha?” Bruce asked rubbing his face as he went and sat at the island.

“Both,” Thor shook his hands gently and towelled them off.

“I…I’m just glad him and Nat are speaking,” Steve sighed turning to the stove and piled the burgers onto a serving plate to distract himself.

Bruce raised an eye brow at the soldier’s back but didn’t say more. Instead he went about pulling the napkin container and condiments laid out on the counter closer to where they were going to sit. “Did someone tell Tony it was time to eat?”

“He said he’s not hungry,” Steve twisted to set the plate down and went to the cabinet.

Bruce sighed heavily, “I’ll take him something later.”

“What is this?” Thor asked pulling out a purple can from the fridge, where he had been looking for something to quench his thirst.

“Grape soda,” the other two answered.

“Like the orange stuff you had the other day, but it tastes like grapes,” Banner finished and caught the bag of buns Steve tossed to him from the pantry.

“Hm,” the thunder god mused and snapped the top opened before taking a mighty gulp. “Intriguing!” He took another taste, “it is tingly, and smells of grape, yet tastes like medicine. Is it good for one? Such as those vita minus?”

“Vitamins? Not really. There is a lot of sugar in it. Having too much is bad for you.”

“I see,” he looked at the can as he made his way to his seat, “a special occasion drink. I will consume you in celebration for friendships.”

“That’s one way of thinking about it,” Steve laughed setting out the other plates and silverware before Thor had decided to start eating with his bare hands again.

\-------------------------------------------------

Natasha pulled on Clint’s arm before he could open the door. “I’d like to speak with him alone?” She bit her lip and then added, “If that’s alright?”

“Yeah,” Clint said and nodded his head to the tray in his hands. “Can I set this down?” She nodded and pushed the button for him. He went in and set it on the stand next to the bed before looking Loki over, trying to hold back his worry. “Uh…” he said getting the god’s attention. “I’ll be at the door…outside…if you need me.” He took several steps back from the slightly confused looking mage and turned, heading out with one last glance at Natasha, trusting her to play nice.

She walked into the room, keeping a few feet away from Loki, and just stared at him until the door had closed. She crossed her arms and studied him from head to toe. He watched her warily. There was an air of subjugation in the way he kept his head slightly bent and his hands in his lap, fisting the sheet there tightly. How fitting. He was scared of her, and rightfully so. He had chosen to mess with the wrong assassin; the wrong group of ragtag heroes; and the wrong planet.

Natasha’s skin was crawling from the resentment she held toward the alien entity. Her fingers itched to punch his face again. She longed to tell him off, make him see the damage he’d brought to Earth and then kick his ass back to Asgard, but she couldn’t. She promised to give him a chance, and to deny or go back on one with Clint again would ruin everything they ever had between them. It also would make the value of her past transgressions greater than his, and that was not something she wanted at the moment, no matter how angry or…jealous she was of him.

She swallowed and switched her focus to a more neutral observation of him. He looked smaller, probably because he wasn’t in all that ridiculous armour. He was also sitting down, but she figured it was still the lack of bulky fabric and metal which made him seem such. The white of the sheets made him look paler than what she remembered. Or maybe he had always been that washed out looking? His hair was horrifically unkempt, it seemed as though he hadn’t slept well, his cheeks where hollow, and he was trying hard not to show that he was shaking slightly. He was so…frail looking. Frail and innocently guilty…he looked almost…

Natasha cleared her throat, taking a step forward, and tossed a small bag of chips onto the bed near his feet. He glanced at them and raised a curious eye brow, yet said nothing. He waited for her to speak. “They’re good. I figured you’d enjoy them more than that brown guck.”

Loki leaned forward slowly, grabbing the corner and pulled it up into his lap, not breaking eye contact again until he held the packet in both of his hands. He popped them opened and extracted a single chip, examining it cautiously.

“They’re not poisoned,” she snipped impatiently before she could stop herself. The god just looked back at her; his eyes shined as though he expected her to start yelling at him again. She sighed and rubbed her forehead, shifting her weight to her other foot. Why was it so hard to be nice to him? She knew that question was stupid to ask herself, she already knew the answer. “I promise, they’re safe,” she managed gently.

He looked back at the triangle piece and nibbled it tentatively before putting it in his mouth with a peculiar look on his face. “What is it?” he asked studying the bag; his voice soft and rough from disuse.

“They are cool ranch flavour. They’re one of Barton’s favourites,” she explained and then pointed to a chair across the way. “May I sit?”

He looked around slowly and then nodded wondering inwardly when she was going to finally get to the point as to why she had asked for a private audience. She despised him, it was painfully obvious; so what was she doing here? Why had she given him these…ranch bits?

Natasha quickly went and sat on the edge of the seat, her elbows resting on her knees, eyes roaming over him as she considered her words and the being before her carefully. “I want to call a truce.”

“A truce?”

“Under a few conditions.”

“They are…?”

“Look me in the eye and promise you will never kill someone again, unless they are a truly bad person. And I mean bad by our standards, not yours.”

Loki looked at her. “If I can prevent it, I swear it.”

“That’s not good enough,”

“With all due respect,” he said and then cleared his throat. “I cannot promise to never kill someone. What if I mean to do well yet something happens and –”

“Alright, you know what I meant. Promise me you will not intentionally kill someone innocent.”

“I swear it.”

“Next, look at me and tell me, in all honesty, that you are sorry for bringing destruction to Earth and for the death of all of those people.”

He stared at her blankly for a moment, his jaw clinching tightly before he quietly stated, “I am the lowest of creatures. I have already pledged myself to your other companions, and I will do the same for you. I swear to forever endure your wrath and harsh words as I endeavour forgiveness for the atrocity I unleashed upon this small world; peaceful by Asgardian standards.” He paused looking at his lap and took a breath before forcing himself to look at her and finish. “I am a monster…and I will never forget that.”

She swallowed. The look in his eyes made her uncomfortable. She broke his gaze and took a deep breath, bracing herself for her final question and truce demand: “Do you honestly love Barton?”

“I have loved him, in some way, from the instant I set eyes upon him when first I came to this realm.”

Natasha bit her lip and nodded her head. “Okay,” she said in a hushed tone rising from the seat quickly and headed for the door. She paused and looked over her shoulder, pointing toward the neglected bag in his hands, “eat those before Steve notices they are missing and goes to look for who ate them.”

“Thank you,” he bowed his head at her, averting his gaze.

She bit her lip again, “this goes without saying, but it’s my job to say it: hurt Clint and Asgard will be finding pieces of you for centuries to come.” She turned back to the door. “I’m done being openly mean now.” And with that pledge she left the room quickly.

Out in the hall, Clint was leaning against the door opposite the room, his arms folded over his chest waiting. When he saw her, he straightened and held out his arms for her. At one point she would have thrown herself into them without a moment’s hesitation, now, however, she stepped back, holding up her hands instead and headed towards the kitchen.

“Tasha?” he called after her confused. She sniffed wiping away a tear but kept going. “Natasha!”

She knew if she turned around she would run to him, and right now she needed to prove to herself and everyone that she would be fine with this. That she didn’t need Barton, she was moving on. She accepted the path his life had decided to go, and was going to confidently head down her own. They would still be able to share their friendship, as they had before, but nothing more. She needed to show everyone that she could live with this decision. That having an enemy under the same roof would be tolerable, so long as he stayed good to the one she loved.

Natasha entered the kitchen and walked up to the group of laughing men. She gave them a watery smile and then pointed to the plate with a glare and fake anger, “Where you assholes planning on leaving me any?”

“I’ve got you a few here,” Steve said sliding a plate to her.

“Two?” she raised a brow. “What do you think I’m a lady? Two is a light snack.”

“HERE! HERE!” Thor shouted raising a tiny can before tilting his head back and draining it. “We feast for friendship!”

Natasha smiled, her heart growing warm as she took a seat at the island next to Steve and began eating with them. She could live like this, with these people, in a group. She paused for a second as a thought dawned on her. They were almost like a family…

“Something wrong?” Steve asked when he had noticed her freeze halfway reaching for the pickle jar.

“What?” she jump and then pulled the container toward her quickly. “No, nothing. I’m fine.” She grinned knowing it was true. She was fine. Natasha looked down the table at the other two, who were having a contest over who could eat a whole red onion first, and then at Steve. She nudged him with her arm, as she popped the lid off, to try and ease his worries. “Everything’s fine.”

\-------------------------------------------------

Clint entered the room and expected to find chaos, or at least Loki sporting a black eye. He was pleasantly surprised to find nothing wrong. The god was sitting there still, now staring at his lap, sadness hanging thick in the air surrounding him. Barton went to his side.

Loki looked up once the archer was close enough. “Do…” he swallowed slowly, “do you believe someone can redeem themselves?”

“Yes,” he answered without hesitation.

“Even if they have done what I have?”

“Of course,” he frowned and sat on the edge of the bed. “What happened?”

Loki looked away, “I was so sure of what I wanted to do with my life, when I was younger. I was raised to rule a kingdom. I believed I would. I believed I would help rule all of the realms. That I was part of something grand…it seems…I was…unfit…”

“Loki,” he said taking his hand and gently repeated, “what happened?”

“I sold my soul to darkness the day I asked Odin to show us the armoury.”

“I meant with…” he quieted as he realised what the god had said. He sat still and waited for him to speak again.

“I always wondered why no one could hear it.” Loki gazed at him, panic written all over his face. “It was sweet…” he breathed turning his face away as tears slipped from his eyes.

Clint leaned forward to wipe them away and gently asked, “What was sweet?”

“The music,” the god looked back at him and sniffed, his eyes suggested he was caught between the now and the past again. His body was tense and his voice was haunted, much in the same way it had been when he told the story of the first time he had seen snow. It made Clint’s heart ache. “It was beautiful. I thought I was insane. I took so many people to the armoury hoping they would hear it as well, but no one else could.” He looked away again and closed his eyes, barely uttering, “The mark of a monster.”

Barton set his teeth and gripped the god’s hand tighter. “You are _not_ a monster.”

“Am I not?” he laughed scornfully.

“No, you are not.”

“Your fellows seem to think otherwise.”

“Well, they don’t know you then.”

“And you do?” he sneered glaring at the archer.

Clint gave him a flat look and then got up to retrieve the brush he had left in the bathroom. He returned and climbed into the bed, moving the god forward and pushed their pillows around until he was settled comfortably behind him, leaning back against the headboard. Loki had remained fairly stiff throughout the entire process, yet let himself be manipulated until Barton was satisfied.

“What are you doing?” His voice sounded just as ridged as his spine.

“Taking care of you,”

“I am more than capable of brushing my own hair,” he snapped. Clint held out the item to the stubborn mage who pushed it away. “I do not need such materials.”

“I’m not letting you use magic.”

“Oh? And what makes you –”

“It wears you out. You’re still recovering. If you were to smooth out your hair it’d probably knock you unconscious for the rest of the day.” He leaned toward the god’s ear to whisper, “and then I’d be left here alone.”

Loki looked down at the bag still in his lap. “You have others…”

“Yeah but they’re not who I want to be with right now,” he leaned back, taking up a lock of the god’s hair, and began examining it.

The only solutions were to shave it all off and start again, or take the rest of the day working it out carefully with his fingers before using the brush. He figured it was better to be patient. He rather liked Loki’s hair a lot, and he didn’t think cutting it super short would have helped any with his self-esteem issues.

 He set the brush down and began working from the bottom to the top of the small clump of hair he had picked up; combing his fingers through it gently as he untangled and pulled apart the knots.

Loki remained silent and, for the most part, unmoving. After thirty minutes he finally gathered enough courage to venture a simple question. “How was training?”

“Good. I did about a hundred of everything before I had to stop.”

He barely nodded his head as they fell into silence again.

“Did Tasha say anything…uncalled for while she was here?”

“No,” Loki replied in a small voice.

“It’s okay if she did. I’m not going to jump up and make her apologise. She’s never been good at that. I just –”

“She offered a truce and I took it.”

Clint raised his brows a bit shocked and took up the brush, now able to run it through the clump with only a few snares to manage. “That’s…”

“More than we could have hoped for? Yes…”

Barton put the brush down and wrapped his arms around Loki. There was something deeper going on there. He had kept his end of the link opened, waiting for the god to connect with him again, yet so far he had remained flying solo. He had brought it up only once last night, but the god had been far too tired and sick so he let it go. Now his skin was starting to itch again. “Loki?”

“Clint,” he whispered hanging his head as he fisted the sheets in his lap, squeezing his eyes shut. The archer kissed the god’s temple and held him close. One of Loki’s hands shot up and grabbed Barton’s arm as he gave up the fight and let himself cry.

“It’s okay,” he soothed resting his head on his shoulder and gently rocked him.

“I’m – I apologise,” he said touching his face with one of his hands and pulling it back to look at the tears that had gathered on his fingertips. “I do not even know why I-I’m –”

“You don’t need a reason. I’m not going to judge you. Crying is perfectly natural.”

Loki sniffed and nodded his head. “M-mother used to brush my hair. When I was younger and when I became sick,” his voice quieted and he barely made a sound when he finally admitted the words and accepted the ache he had been trying for almost a year to supress, “I…I miss her…”

Barton held him tighter as a jolt of pain went through his own heart. “You’ll see her again,” he reassured.

“No,” he covered his face with his hands ashamed. “For all that I have done I am undeserving of her love. I am undeserving of anyone’s.”

“Well it’s a good thing her and I are both someone, right? Because you deserve someone’s love,”

Loki slumped in the archer’s grasp and lost the will to hold back his shameful driven tears. What did she think of him? He was such a disappointment. She had been nothing but kind, loving, tremendously tolerant and he treated her affections like rubbish. His love for her had made him regret letting go the moment his hand had opened. He hadn’t wanted to leave her…he hadn’t wanted to leave Thor either…but he couldn’t bring himself to fully explain why he had done what he had. He didn’t have a reason. Well…not a good one anyways.

It had been anger and fear which had fuelled his rash decision. Hopelessness and jealousy had numbed his fingers and slackened his grip. Rejection and self-loathing had let him sink into the unknown without a second care or thought. Looking at it all, if he was given a second chance, he wouldn’t have let go. He would have let himself be taken away in chains. If he had just been patient, just listened, just tried to be a better son, he wouldn’t have met the darkness, he wouldn’t have been enslaved by…

Loki hissed and tensed up as those memories assaulted his mind. Hands that left bruises upon his limbs; knives dripping with his blood; coarse salted threads which tugged and pinched his skin; words burning in his ears; magic that bit him from within; his throat hoarse from screaming; his eyes too dry to weep…  

He felt Clint brush some of his hair behind his ear with his warm fingers. The touch was so soft compared to the ones in his head. The archer slowly trailed them down the curve of Loki’s chin, over the corner of his lips and back up before moving down his throat and across his shoulder. Loki took his right hand and grabbed Clint’s, holding his fingers tightly for a moment before he let them go, grateful he was around to help draw him from that dark place.

What good were regrets now? Especially after everything he had done…

“Where did those come from?”

Loki looked at the archer an then down at the forgotten bag in his lap. “The Widow.”

“Steve told me we were out,” he said slightly irritated at being lied too and then smiled when he realised what they meant. She wasn’t just calling a truce, she was making sure Loki was worthy for Clint. Aw…she did care; even if it was in her own cryptic backwards terrifying way.

“Would you care for them?” he held the bag up for the archer.

Clint pulled a chip out and ate it with a sigh. _Oh…_ the delicious biting tingle of ranch and the magical cool Dorito powder danced along his tongue. He hummed and took another, this time holding it out for Loki. The god just looked at it and then back at him. He chuckled, “did you try them?”

“One.”

“And?”

“They are interesting…not the same as the ones you showed me before.”

“Yeah we only had so much time so I had to rush grabbing food.” He nudged the chip closer. “Do you like them?”

“They are interesting…” Loki replied again. One look at Barton’s face and he couldn’t refuse taking another one to try. His eyes were full of precious excitement, and the thought of letting him down made Loki upset with himself. He opened his mouth and ate the small chip, chewing it and tried savouring it under these new circumstances. They weren’t too horrible…something certainly new for him…he could get used to them. He nodded his head, making a small noise to indicate that he enjoyed it, and was rewarded with a smile that made his stomach flutter with nervous joy.

The moment Clint saw him swallow he leaned in ready for a kiss; the idea of tasting the god along with the flavoured tortilla made his mouth water. Loki’s eyes widened just a fraction and he turned his face away at the last second, guilt settling within him at his hesitation. Clint’s chest tightened but he smoothly changed his intended path, opting to press his lips to his shoulder for several seconds before whispering, “I’m glad you’re here.”

Was he really? Loki looked at him and then rested his head against Clint’s, letting the archer take his hand and laced their fingers together. “I am as well…” Was he really? _Yes…_ he pressed his lips to Clint’s knuckles before letting him coax him to relax back into his arms as he continued to gently finger comb and detangle his unruly hair again. _Yes I am._

__

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look for the next post on the 12th!  
> (if not then someone come find me I've probably fallen into a well)


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy 2nd Week of October!  
> All mistakes are my own.  
> Please enjoy the chapter!
> 
>  
> 
> p.s. if someone knows how to work stupid links in the notes part, I'd appreciate it. I've tried everything all day so I give up now.
> 
> \-------  
> Also because I ran out of room in the end notes (AGAIN!), here are the first two:  
> Some of the flowers mentioned:  
>  ***Well Flower** = Real name: Starry eyes or _Nierembergia gracilis_ they are either blue to purpley-blue. Sometimes they have deeper forms, were their petals create a cone shape that catches water.  
>  ***Moonflowers** = type referred to is _Ipomoea alba_. They can be really tiny or simply massive! They are very delicate so most of the ones I’ve seen are not very large, but there are some pictures on Google that are pretty impressive. (see end notes for the rest)

\----------------------19----------------------

Thor put the last clean plate in the cupboard and smiled satisfied.

“Oh, you finished them,” Banner said entering the room.

“Yes, I wanted to show my appreciation. You all have done so much.”

“We’re friends Thor, it’s nothing.”

“I know,” he said and turned, picking up the wet washcloth to wipe down the counters, as he’d seen the others do so many times. “I do not want to sit still though and training is…”

Banner nodded understandingly and went up to him, “Have you gone to see him today?”

Thor shook his head, “I do not think he will receive me well. He seemed to tolerate my being there the other day out of necessity.”

“Well, I know right now he’s in there alone. Natasha is working Clint to the bone, so if you want…you can try to talk to him in private?”

The thunder god turned his head and looked at his friend. “Do you think it wise?”

“Yes.”

Thor looked away. “I am not so certain…before I would have…”

“What’s stopping you now?” Banner asked and crossed his arms over his chest as he leaned against the island. “You were so anxious for him to wake up. What’s changed?

He sighed and stopped his actions. “When he fell, I thought of nothing but him retuning, when he returned, I thought of nothing but bringing him home…then I saw what he did here…and I was…I was so angry. I wanted nothing but to keep him away from others. He…he scared me.” Thor looked at him, “I was scared of my own brother. Even though we are not blood, I love him with all of my heart and I wanted nothing to do with him. When I returned I was going to give him the choice: make things right here or go home and face trial…I couldn’t…I couldn’t do that to him, not after seeing him lying there. Not after discovering all that had been done to him. I…I felt as though I had lost him again.” He turned his face away and closed his eyes. “I have lost him too many times…and I do not think I can handle once more.”

“Well I’ve gone in and checked on him several times these past two days, and to be honest I think he’s just as frightened as you are.”

“Do you think so?” Thor looked at him a little worried yet hopeful.

Banner nodded. “Yeah. Clint is all he thinks he has right now…I think it’s a good idea of you go in and show him that there is more than one who cares.”

He looked back at the counter sadly, “what if he will not speak to me?”

“Then just talk,” he shrugged. “Tell him how things have been, what is on your mind, anything. If you just start he’s sure to follow eventually.”

Thor nodded and set his jaw, putting the cloth in the sink and dried his hands. “I will do this.” He turned to his friend and rested a hand on his shoulder, “Thank you gracious friend. You have always been there with wisdom when I have need.”

Bruce shrugged, “it’s what friends do.”

Thor bowed his head and left the kitchen, heading down the halls with purpose until he reached the door. Once there he hesitated. What should he say? He had nothing to bring him…did he go in and say the truth? It was for the best, Banner had said such, and Rogers had hinted at a visit yesterday after dinner. It was time. Thor took a moment to collect himself. He took a deep breath and knocked on the door before pushing the button to open it.

\-------------------------------------------------

Clint grunted as he pulled himself up and then flopped back onto the mat, his body screaming in protest.

“Two hundred? Is that all you’ve got?”

“Natasha I’m going to die!”

“Are you? Or are you being a little bitch?”

Clint growled and forced himself to do another sit up. He hated training with Natasha like this. She was just so intimidatingly cruel. He remembered the first time they’d found themselves in the same workout room. She had come over, added more weights to his already ridiculous load, and then proceeded to call him a ‘tiny penis’ until he did no less than fifty leg presses to her satisfaction…which was more like a hundred, but only fifty had been considered ‘decent’ enough. He had limped home with plans to saw his legs off that night. The next morning he couldn’t even climb the rope ladders in the outdoor training course.

_“You call yourself fit?”_

_“Yeah, I did. I thought I was doing great.”_

_“Great isn’t good enough.”_

_“Yeah? Well you can write that on my tombstone because I’m about to die.”_

_“It’s just dehydration. I’ll go get a medic. You’re fine.”_

“Oh my god Tasha I’m seriously going to die,” he said falling backwards again.

“You only did two more.”

“I’m still recovering!” he panted as his stomach muscles seized. “And I’m going to be sick…” he rolled over with a groan and buried his face in his arms.

“I’m telling Steve to take junk food out of your meals. You need more protein. Another chicken will do.”

“Yo man back off my pudding cups! I just got those the other day and it’s the only good thing I have during meals!” He turned his head to glare up at her.

“Maybe two isn’t enough…” She pondered not giving him the satisfaction of her attention. “I’ll have to get him to agree on making you eat three large breasts.”

“Three large chicken breasts are a bit much, especially when I have a problem eating two small ones as it is.”

“Well if you cut out the pudding then you’ll have more room for the chicken.”

Clint made a noise of distress and buried his face again. “I’m in Hell…I died and this is Hell.”

Natasha crouched down and patted his back, “I warned you no mercy. Now take five and we’ll go for a walk before starting on pull ups.” Clint made another sound, this one sounding closer to a wounded animal. He _was_ going to die.

\-------------------------------------------------

_“Look at you. The Mighty Thor. With all of your strength. And what good does it do you now, huh? Do you hear me brother? There’s nothing you can do!” The crushing weight was lifted away from his chest. He pulled in a deep breath and closed his eyes. This was not how he had wanted things to go._

_The ground suddenly vibrated and the air crackled in an unsettling manner. He sat up quickly. Thor was just about to swing his hammer down again. It struck; a loud resounding pulse of magic rushed toward him and shook his bones as the floor of the Bifrost shook again. The oaf was attempting to break the Bifrost! He was going to ruin everything Loki had worked so hard for! His one chance to prove himself, to do what their father could not, to finish the quest Thor had abandoned. He was going to kill the Jötunns, every last one of them. If Thor broke the connection everything would be lost._

_“What are you doing?” he shouted above the roar of power being released. The air was laced with magic and anger. It made his skin crawl. He had done this…he had caused this…this wasn’t Thor’s problem to fix. This was his. Another mess he had created and this time no one to help him out of it. He needed to stop Thor. “If you destroy the bridge you’ll never see her again!” That wasn’t what he wanted. He wanted to end any trace of his imperfection. He wanted to eradicate those that had cast him off. Thor was getting in the way, as always. Stepping on something Loki had poured himself into, slaved over, perfected. He was trying to be a hero still. He hadn’t learned anything on Midgard. Loki was sorry he hadn’t actually killed him now. He was still the same stubborn selfish brat!_

_Loki_ had _to stop him, no matter what. He picked up Gungnir and raced toward him, aiming the point for his brother’s shoulder. He wasn’t going to kill him, just injure enough so that he could not pound his hammer on the crystal road any longer. He was almost there when an explosion of bright lights blasted him away. He was swimming in some sort of water._

_No, he was falling. He reached out desperately for something to grab a hold of. Anything would do. He couldn’t fall! He wouldn’t survive. They wouldn’t look for him._

_He felt the brush of cold metal and snatched out to grab it. It was Gungnir. He gripped it tightly and looked around him. He was hanging helpless and terrified. Raw untamed magic whipped about as the balance of the realm was tilted slightly and rocked back and forth. He was going to be sucked into the abyss. This was it, his life was over. He never had a chance to prove himself. His children would be disgraced even further…_

_He looked up and found his father at the edge holding onto Thor’s leg. His father! He would know what to do. He would understand. He had seen everything Loki had been working so hard to achieve for them._

_“I could have done it father! I could have done it! For you!” He would be proud. He would finally look at him with that glint in his eye, which had always been primarily reserved for Thor. They would return to the palace and his father would finally announce to the others the good Loki had done for the realm. He would have let him sit next to him at feasts, he would have offered him to go on hunting trips again, whisper how proud he was whenever he looked at him…maybe even hug him. Loki couldn’t honestly recall the last time his father had touched him in affection rather than scorn over his misbehaviour. He knew this was right. This one thing he had done. He had saved the realms and his father had to be proud. “For all of us!”_

_“No, Loki.”_

_The words shot through his chest. The look of disappointment pierced and torn at his heart, bleeding out the abundance of hope he had gathered there. He was slowly being crushed under that heavy gaze. He knew it too well. That was the look saved for those unworthy of Asgard. That was the piteous expression his father held for those sentenced to banishment or death._

_So this was it? His father wanted to protect him from the truths of the past so badly he kept himself so far removed from him that he had starved his false son of the one thing he wanted most: a place to belong; to be worthy to stand by his side. To prove he was capable of bearing the Odinson name and remain by his brother to help rule the realms justly._

_Loki swallowed as the awful truth of it all settled in. His father wasn’t going to let him stay on Asgard for this. He would be lucky if he was locked away in a dungeon. Locked away…guarded like the armoury…another stolen relic…put away because its use had run dry. He was going to be set aside. Forgotten. Not even dust would gather to keep him company where he was going. So this was it? The truth of the wisest in the universe; the Great Keeper of Peace; the Justice; the One Who Saved the Realms…_

_Loki wasn’t the monster after all, Odin was._

_“Loki, no.” Thor shouted once he must have realised what his plan was._

_Clever Thor…kind Thor…he really was deserving of Asgard._

Keep it, _he thought as he let go and felt himself being sucked downward._ Keep it safe from monsters, Thor. Keep it safe from _him_.

_“NO!” his brother’s cry rang after him as the Golden Realm slowly shrank away. The wind rushed in his ears and the space around him turned cold._

Clever Thor… _mother and he would be the only ones to truly miss him…there would probably be a feast. To honour the heroes who slew the tyrant. Not to honour his bravery, or his death, but the relief of not having him exist: to no longer be a thorn in anyone’s side or an addition in games or conversations. No more looking behind their backs or around corners for pranks, no more bowing to him, dealing with his silent distance, or pretending they didn’t remember his years of unimaginable shame and isolation. They would be grateful. And his children? Well it was for the best…_

_He closed his eyes and let a sob out as everything around him suddenly blazed hot. His skin burned horribly and he cried out. This was it…every last Jötunn erased from the universe…even he…so he had been able to do it. To finally have this one success after countless failures, right at the very end? He’d cling to it. Savour his small victory._

_He could feel his skin melting away and his screams grew louder. Then there was suddenly nothing but ultimate unimaginable pain and laughter._

Loki shot upright in bed, gasping as the nightmare faded from his mind. His eyes flitting to random spaces of the room, reassuring him that he wasn’t falling still, that he was safe. He put a hand to his chest to try and calm his breathing. His heart raced a mile a second, the sheets were wound too tightly around him, and he was soaked from sweat. He wiped some of his hair from his face and pressed his palm to his mouth, drawing his legs up to his chest and wrapped his other arm around them tightly.

He wasn’t falling. The room was cold, yet his skin burned and crawled just as it had when the parasitic entity had first grabbed hold of him. The heavy taint lingered on him; a million dingy hands pawing for his attention, whispering poison into his mind, leaving marks no blessed or purified waters could cleanse.

As if summoned in friendly invitation the being presented itself, _And how fares our champion?_

He ignored it, moving and shifting the sheets around with still shaking hands, trying to extract his legs from the tangled mess. There was a small sound to his left and he jerked his head in the direction of the door. Standing there, staring hard at the floor was none other than Thor. Loki clinched his teeth. What did _he_ want? He was about to ask him such when suddenly the god spoke.

“I’m sorry.”

He blinked. “Pardon?”

“I,” Thor looked up placing his hand to his heart. “I’m so deeply sorry, Loki.”

He eyed him carefully, “For…?”

“For not going with you.”

“What are you talking about?” he demanded. He was starting to become aggravated over his presence.

“When you fell.”

Loki could not contain his disgust. He rolled his eyes and laid back down, turning to keep himself closed off from Thor. “You’re being ridiculous.”

“Am I?”

“Yes,” he sighed annoyed and shut his eyes. “Please leave me alone. I am tired.”

“How often do you suffer these dreams?”

“That is none of your business.”

“Please, Loki.” He didn’t respond. Thor sighed heavily and went around to the other side, sitting down in one of the comfortable chairs. “I want to help you,” he pleaded.

 _You can’t…_ he thought sadly.

 _No one can help a worthless broken bitch,_ added the darkness stirring to life.

“I dream of it too.” That sparked Loki’s attention. He opened his eyes and looked at his…at Thor. “The night you fell.”

“Do you?” he asked softly almost in disbelief and then his irritability took over. “Do you celebrate afterwards every time for your victory?”

“Loki –”

“Do you go on hunts and laugh with your _friends_ at how wonderful it is that there is no extra baggage to carry? No one to weigh you all down? Did _Odin_ hold you tight and congratulate you for slaying the demon? Did mother cry that _your_ life was almost in danger? Did you comfort her as _she_ wept joy over the news of my death?”

“Loki cease this!”

“No!” he sat up, his temper flaring to life.

The darkness in him cheered and danced around within his soul, egging him on. _More! More!_ it begged. _Suffer more!_

“You cease this! You cease trying to help me. Return and live the happy life you have always been promised.”

“Not without you,” he insisted trying to restrain his own pain and anger.

“Go. Home. Thor,” he slowly punctuated each word as he glared at him. “Go back to the _Golden_ Halls, sit uponthe _Golden_ Throne, wield the _Golden_ Justice of Asgard, command their finest _Golden_ Warriors, and keep _father’s_ _golden_ honest love,” he hissed through clinched teeth before turning the other direction and lying back down. “I desire no part of it.”

“I can’t…” Thor whispered honestly. “I made a promise. I cannot return without you.”

“Always the obedient one,” Loki’s tone darkened as he rose slowly to sit up again. Turning to him he viciously spat, “Ever the loyal bitch of Asgard: hunting down the wrong and evil in the world. Dragging their carcass back to his master’s feet, longing for his wondrous praise.”

“Loki that is not –”

“You revel in the thought of me going back there in chains, _kneeling_ before the Mighty All-father, _begging_ for his forgiveness. For _their_ forgiveness. I’ll never do it!” he yelled. “I’ll never let them see _me_ ,” he hissed pointing at his chest. “Let them keep their gossip and their lies; they were the worst of them all! And they dared called me Silver-tongued? Marked me as the Deceiver. Branded my bones as the Betrayer. I was supposed to end all of time! Well I gave it to them.”

Thor wanted to back away; the madness that lurked within his brother’s eyes frightened him. He was rendered frozen, locked under Loki’s empty and terrifying glare as his voice became tainted with some evil, which seemed to grow hungrier for his suffering with every word.

“They can keep that and whatever else I’ve left to haunt their halls and plague their perfect dreams. I’ve blotched their history; and it is a stain upon those dusty mendacious parchments, they collect so dearly, that I am most proud of. When your children learn of the past, they will know that evil thrived under the house of Odinson; yet they will never know the true wearer of its identity. I am the martyr. I am the whipping boy. I am the goat for slaughter. I did everything _father_ wished of me, and I have _always_ been found wanting, so I cast myself away.” He stopped, his expression smoothing out to exhaustion as all of the seething hatred running through him sapped his strength away. He leaned back into the bed and waved his hand dismissively as he became impassive. “Go home…tell them I’ve died…the Loki you hoped to find perished long ago. He died alone, in darkness, with the music of Death and his brother’s cries as his only consolation for his failed efforts and existence.”

Thor wet his lips letting the tension in his shoulders, he had not even known he was holding, go as he rose and walked to the door. He stopped and turned back to him. “You are wrong,” he whispered, his heart heavier than he could have ever imaged. “I would bring you there by my side, as my equal. As my _brother_. As you _deserve_. I will stand next to you. Say the words you wish me to speak and I will intone them. I will make every realm hear your story. I will let them know of what befell you and how you rose from the ashes. I promise.”

“I recall,” Loki said slowly finding that forming words, along with enough breath support for them, a chore as the darkness snaked around him in glee, basking in his spent loathing. “A time when you uttered a promise of another kind…” He shut his eyes unable to look at him any longer.

_“Don’t be sad little brother; I made a promise. When I grow up, I’ll get rid of them all. That way you don’t ever have to be scared again.”_

“I was a foolish brat.”

_“Loki do not fear. Now that I have Mjölnir I can protect the realm and you from monsters.”_

“I was a poor excuse for a brother. Yet…” he hesitated before letting the familiar words go. “Yet one thing will always remain constant.”

“What is that?” Loki asked not realising he was falling into the pattern of a long forgotten memory.

“We _’ll always be brothers, and we will always defend one another.”_

Loki’s eyes snapped opened as the gravity of his words sank in.

_“What if we’re not? What if we become separated?”_

_“We will find a way back. I’ll always be there with you when it rains.”_

_He looked up at Thor. His brother’s face set in a determined and sad expression. The blond clinched his fists, “Remember this, Loki.” He turned without another sound and left him._

_If he hadn’t been paying attention he would have ran right into Natasha and Clint. They had been standing near the door silently. When he came out and pulled up short before them, they both took a few steps back, a guilty look marring their faces as the door shut behind Thor. He looked at it and realised he had accidently left it opened during their entire conversation._

_“I’m sorry,” Clint said. “We shouldn’t have…I just wanted to –”_

_“No,” he said, his voice coming out harsher than he meant for it too. He took a breath and tried again, “no. It is better this way. Now I know some of what his mind is I can better prepare for when we speak again.” He looked at the two of them and offered them a sad yet hopeful smile. “We must work hard to support each other,” he placed a hand on either of their shoulders, “Cherish each other.” Thor left them standing there and headed to his room. He needed space. He needed peace. He needed…he needed their mother. He felt a child again with no one to turn too. No, even as a child he always had someone. That someone had been Loki. Yet who had his brother always turned too? He knew the answer and he also knew what had befallen him. Even after he had returned and things had smoothed out once more… there was still a feeling of being…lost. Was this how Loki had always felt? How many years he had he been suffering alone?_

_Never again,_ _he vowed._ _You will never been alone again brother._

\-------------------------------------------------

Banner opened the door and set a plate down on an empty spot he found at one of the work benches. “Food!”

“Minute!” Tony called from some place. The shop was a mess. Metal pieces, wires, car parts, suit parts, empty dishes piled up, papers scattered everywhere – this was getting out of hand. A hole had even been blown through one of the walls now!

Banner sighed shaking his head and put his hands on his hips in the same fashion as displeased parent would as they looked over their son’s dirty bedroom. “This place is filthy.”

“Okay _mom_ , I’ll clean it when I’m done with my homework.”

Bruce rolled his eyes with another sigh just as Stark popped up from behind a massive metal frame, wrapped in thick sparking wires that had begun to smoke.

“What’s for dinner tonight?”

“It’s your breakfast. Since you didn’t come up and everyone has already eaten, I thought I’d bring it to you.”

“What? I thought the next meal was dinner? Isn’t that how the order goes? Breakfast, lunch, and then dinner?”

“No, that was dinner,” he pointed to an untouched plate of chicken, mashed potatoes, and corn.

“Oh man! My favourite!” he reached for the fork to the old plate.

Banner slapped his hand away, “When was the last time you slept?”

“Last night,” he said moving to picked up a piece of bacon form the new plate and popped it into his mouth. Chewing nosily on it he raised a challenging eyebrow. “Why?”

“Jarvis?”

“Two days ago, sir.”

Tony shrugged, “Okay, but I’ve been taking the pills. Hey Jarvis, when was the last time I drank?”

The A.I. hesitated for a moment. “In three hours it will make one day, sir.”

“Yeah,” he smirked pleased. “See, I’m doing better!” He picked up a pancake with his dirty fingers and rolled it up to stuff into his mouth.

“You’re not supposed to drink while taking those sleeping pills.”

“Oh man! I love buttermilk,” he exclaimed through a mouth full of food, completely missing what Bruce had said.

“Tony,” Banner pushed his glasses up his nose holding back his irritation. “Pepper is going to be here tomorrow night. Did you forget?”

“Of course I didn’t forget! She’s my girlfriend!” He put the other half of the pancake in his mouth and picked up the fork, ready to start in on his hash browns.

“Do you remember what time you have to pick her up?”

“She said bring a car to the airport near the back around 4:15 PM.”

“And what are you going to wear?”

Stark looked down at his ruined clothes and then shrugged putting a huge forkful of the shredded fried potatoes into his mouth. “I’ll put on a new shirt.”

“And what are you going to get her?”

“Fruit. I think she likes…strawberries?”

Banner sighed, “How about flowers? That’s something new.”

“Yes,” he tapped the fork against his lips. “Strawberries cut to look like roses. I like it. It’s classy, creative, considerate, and contemporary. Here, I love you like these roses, and you can eat them. They’re delicious right?”

“I think just regular flowers will do fine.”

“Alright, fine. We’ll do it the boring way,” he huffed and rolled another pancake up to devour. “She likes…Jarvis what are her favourite –”

“Don’t answer that,”

“Answer that.”

“Don’t!”

“I’m sorry sir, I’m afraid I do not know that answer.”

“Figure it out.”

“Don’t tell him,”

“This is my house,”

“Tony,” Bruce began pushing his glasses up again and folded his arms. “I’m going to be real with you. You stink; you look like a zombie; your girlfriend is allergic to strawberries; you are supposed to pick her up at 5:30 at a small hotel a mile away from the airport; you need to sleep; and I know you had a glass of whiskey this morning.”

Tony looked him over for a few seconds, “so you’re not going to tell me what her favourite flower is?”

Banner rolled his eyes, snatching up the plate from last night, as well as a few other half eaten ones, and headed for the stairs. “I’m going to do something productive.”

“You know!” he shouted running to stand at the bottom of the stairs.

“Of course I do!” he huffed exasperated and gently pushing past him to climb the steps.

“Tell me,” he begged.

“You’re a genius, figure it out. And take a shower while you’re at it!”

“Brucy…” Tony gave him a pleading look.

“I’m giving you only a few more hours to play down here before you’re coming back to the real world.”

“I built this place,” he said with his usual annoying self-confident air.

Banner smiled at him and stepped onto the lift. “That’s nice. The other guy thinks it’ll be fun to see if you can build it again.” He pushed the button for the main floor as Tony’s face fell into something, Bruce could only describe as a displeased pout. Served him right, he smelled like week old garbage. The other guy laughed.

\-------------------------------------------------

Natasha looked at Clint and then down at her feet. “Um…so…if you don’t want to…if you need…” she gestured to the door awkwardly, “y’know…”

“No,” he shook his head quietly. “He needs to be alone after that. If I go in there it’ll only undo everything Thor said to him.” He sighed tiredly and started walking down the hall. “Loki needs to know that I’m not the only one who cares.”

Natasha nodded, looking back at the door before following Clint. Her heart was torn between feeling sorry for each of the gods: one wanted to make amends and prove he was truly concerned; the other feared his own desire for someone to understand him. It was like looking into a mirror, and she wanted to break it. She hated to be reminded that they had so much in common.

_“Give him a chance…”_

She inhaled and closed her eyes for a moment. How many chances was she supposed to give before she decided she’d gotten as close as she was comfortable with?

 _Time_ , she reminded herself. _Give it time…it has only been two days…things could change._

And they would. She knew they would. Whether she was ready for it or not.

\-------------------------------------------------

 “Hey have you seen Thor?” Steve asked walking into the kitchen as Bruce finished scrapping off old food from a plate into the trash.

“No, why?” he scrubbed the dish with the washrag Thor had abandoned not too long ago.

“We were supposed to start practicing a while ago. He hasn’t shown up and that’s not like him.”

“Oh!” Bruce slapped his hand on the sink. “Yes. Yes I have seen him. I’m sorry I just remembered he went to go see Loki.”

“It’s no problem,”

“How are Natasha and Clint?” he asked setting the now clean plate into the wrack and went about washing another.

“She’s working him hard.”

“They should come up for a break soon. He’s still not a hundred percent.”

Steve frowned, “they stopped training a while ago.”

“Oh…well then I guess I’ll go look for him and see how he’s doing.” He rinsed the plate and set it with the other before putting the rest into the bottom of the sink and dried his hands. “I’ll walk with you?”

“Sure.”

He fell into step next to Rogers. “Pepper comes in tomorrow.”

The soldier sighed, “Yeah…guess this means our freedom is over?”

“For the most part.”

“It was nice, having the city so quiet. Even if it was sort of unsettling at times.”

“Agreed,”

They ran into the other two halfway down the second hall. “Is Thor still with –” Steve began.

“No,” the assassins said in unison.

“Both of them need time to think over their conversation,” Clint explained quickly.

“What –” Natasha put her hand on Steve’s arm to stop his question. She shook her head and gave him the ‘ _We’ll-discuss-it-later_ ’look.

“How are you feeling?” Banner took a step forward and looked Barton over.

“Fine. I think I’m going to take the rest of the day off and finish doing things in…in the new place.”

“I believe that’s a good idea,” Natasha nodded in support. “I think Tony said there was another chair you could move in there for now. When Pepper gets here he was going to have us go through stuff and start making lists of things we wanted to change or move around in the apartments. Levels too; if you wanted a higher or lower one.”

“Great. I found this bed. It hangs from the ceiling. It’s like a giant hammock but a little more stable.”

“Oh you and your hammocks!” she sighed rolling her eyes.

“It’s a carnie thing,” he shrugged with a smile.

“Well if everything is alright, I’m going to go lay down for a while and maybe do some work on a personal project.” Banner confessed rubbing his forehead.

“I need a partner to train with,” Steve said with a grin down at Romanoff.

“I’ll miss ya buddy,” Clint said patting his shoulder as he moved past him for the elevator.

“I’m not that bad!” she called after him.

Bruce laughed, following after Barton quickly. If there had been one thing Tony warned him about, it was that doing any sort of training or work with Natasha almost always managed to land one on their ass and in a world of pain the next morning. He didn’t want in on that at all. A nap sounded like a much better idea.

 _Indeed,_ the Hulk agreed urging him along faster.

“I’m not that bad, am I?” she looked up at Steve.

He shook his head, a bit confused by the other’s reactions, “no. I guess that’s their loss, right?”

“Damn right,”

\-------------------------------------------------

Thor was now furious. Not at anyone or anything in particular, but he was mad. He had stormed through the halls with the intention of going to his rooms, however once he made it there, he had found no wish to stay. He had gone to the stairwell and climbed up, putting all of his attention into not stomping the steps out in his rage. He reached the top and opened the door; the chilly late morning air smacked him in the face just before the sun’s light blinded him. He held up his hand to shield his eyes and stepped onto the roof.

He had never meant to hurt his brother. His only desire was to protect him, keep him safe. In doing so, he seemed to have alienated them. Loki had spoken of being in his shadow; Thor hadn’t meant to squash his dreams, only to stand before him to prevent him from being hurt. Especially after everything they had gone through, he couldn’t see him suffer again. Not like that.

Loki had always been one for mischief and trouble. In the past he had disappeared for great lengths of time, but he always returned. There was always a sign, never any doubt that he wasn’t safe. Losing him a year ago had been hard. Thor remembered the relief over seeing his brother’s face, standing over him in the dark, elevated over the woods upon the rocky rise in the land. Loki was paler than usual and he had let his hair grow out. But to touch him, to physically grab a whole of him, to feel his pulse under his hand…it was more than Thor could have ever asked for. He remembered how his heart was near bursting with a thousand emotions and questions. _“I thought you dead.”_

_Loki’s look was blank. The flicker of doubt within his eye contrasted with the flat taunting way he asked, “Did you mourn?”_

_Thor was confused; of course he had mourned, why wouldn’t he have? “We all did. Our father –”_

 “Your…father _…_ ” _the way he stressed each word cut across Thor’s heart; the deep blow stabbed him when Loki pushed his arm away in disgust. He turned his back upon Thor in a manner that suggested he held no intention of giving him any further thought or true moment of his time. It was defensive, hostile, very unlike him. It made Thor uncomfortable. “He did tell you about my true parentage, did he not?”_

_What had that to do with anything? “We were raised together, we played together, we fought together. Do you remember none of that?” How could anyone forget all of that time? They had spent thousands of years by one another; shared a room for far longer than any other siblings they’d known had; gone off on so many reckless adventures; tried making the other laugh while they were doing punishment chores; and helped the other gain the interest of any woman or male of their choosing from court. Thor had even stayed by him during, not one but three of the five separate times he’d welcomed children into the universe. All of that…and it suddenly meant nothing to him?_

_“I remember a shadow. Living in the shade of your greatness. I remember you tossing me into an abyss,” his eyes were accusing and his voice was vicious. “I, who was, and should be, king!”_

_Tossed him? He had let go! Thor had yelled for hours afterward. Odin had to order the guards and the Warrior’s Three to hold him back as he tried going after his brother. Thor had demanded for their father to search for him. He had made several attempts, yet was stopped each time. It had taken his mother pleading with him that nothing could have been done and that he needed to stop. She couldn’t lose another son and he couldn’t bear to bring that grief upon her._

_He had not casted Loki out, Loki had done it himself. Thor was angry now. “So you take the world I love as recompense for your imagined slights?” Loki seemed confused, almost offended over his question. Thor was bothered over his behaviour. How in the nine had he come to this outrageous idea? What could he gain from it? This was not like him. “No. The Earth is under my protection, Loki.”_

_The laugh the younger god had uttered at his words did not belong to him and it made Thor’s skin crawl. “And you’re doing a marvellous job with that. The humans slaughter each other in droves while you idly fret. I mean to rule them, and why should I not?”_

_“You think yourself above them?”_

_“Well, yes.” Such arrogance did not suit him. Loki had always been brilliant, yet he had never put himself upon a pedestal so high before. It was true and well known he was smarter than many others, a thing he had been praised for time and time again, yet he had always taken such applause with humble grace. He tried giving others credit for his work, thanked them graciously, and made sure to show off only when it as appropriate. It was only in private, if he had really come face to face with someone he deemed wholly incompetent, that he let his remarks be known; but he still never made it seem as though he felt they were beneath him completely. He would just speak out about how they were merely not on the same level._

_“Then you miss the truth of ruling brother. The throne would suit you ill.”_

_Loki had taken a step forward before pushing him aside, punching at his chest in the process with an ugly sneer. “I’ve seen worlds you’ve never known about! I have grown,_ Odinson _, in my exile. I have seen the true power of the Tesseract, and when I wield it –”_

_The Tesseract had once been nothing more but a children’s story. Something told to give them imaginary quests. They had pretended, in their youth, to go on such adventures and find it; both sharing in the glory, running around the gardens and palace with a block of cheese or an apple, claiming victory and taking turns holding their prize. Anyone who held true knowledge of it had been sworn to secrecy, by their father, many hundreds of thousands of years ago. He had only just learned of the truth recently. How could Loki know more than he? “Who showed you this power? Who controls the would-be king?”_

_“I am a king!” The flare of anger in the way he shouted. He was mad! He had to have lost his mind after he had fallen. Thor knew he needed help._

_“Not here! You give up the Tesseract! You give up this poisonous dream! You come home.” That’s all he wanted. He just wanted his brother back. He wanted him safe. He wanted them to leave right that moment, Tesseract or no, and just go home. He knew that wouldn’t happen though; their father had said to only bring the Tesseract home. Their mother had pleaded for him to bring Loki home safely. He had to deliver both or suffer upsetting the other. His chest ached, and he fought to keep himself from crying. He was too old for such tears in public and now was not the time to shed them._

_Loki had looked at him, almost stunned and doubtful…then the moment was gone. He laughed at him, his features turning to sarcastic indifference. “I don’t have it.”_

Thor was angry. Loki had missed the whole point of his words at the time. He hadn’t been solely hunting after the cube; he had been there for Loki, first and foremost. The moment Heimdall had made the announcement; the second their mother had fallen to her knees in tears and he had rushed to hold her after her vision; the way Odin showed he held more interest in the object than one of his own son’s lives, Thor knew what he needed to do.

He had volunteered himself to go bring Loki back. Odin had been against it, but Thor pushed and pushed. It was _they_ who had been together last, it was _they_ who had lived under the same roof in the same quarters, and shared _their_ secrets together. It was only right _he_ went to get his _brother_.

Loki’s general lack of compassion and cattiness frustrated and infuriated him then, just as his general detestation and bitterly contempt filled words did now. Thor paced back and forth on the roof, remembering the last time they had squabbled at this very building.

_“Look at this. Look around you!” he shouted pushing him against the Stark building. “You think this madness will end with your rule?”_

_The crazy spark in Loki’s eyes dimmed for a moment as he looked out over the city. “It’s too late.” He looked at him, a tinge of regret in his voice. “It’s too late to stop it.”_

_“No._ We _can, together.”_

_Loki had looked hopeful, his mouth working as though there was something he wished to say. There it was. The thing Thor had been searching for…that this was still his brother. This was the real Loki standing before him now. Thor was so elated at having finally found him that he missed the sudden motion of the dagger as it was thrusted into his side. He grunted, staggering back a bit as he dropped to his knee._

_“Sentiment,” Loki hissed, a tear running down his cheek. The strange tint over his eyes had returned and his stance screamed dangerous and defensive._

Later once he had returned home, Thor had examined the weapon. It was small, thin, and the angle Loki had chosen to stick him with suggested he hadn’t been out for blood, just a means to distract him so that he could get away.

 _Another trick…_ Thor thought to himself as he kicked at a random rock that had somehow managed to find its way up to the roof.

The door opened and out stepped Tony. “Hey! Thor! Do you –”

“No,” he said still a little aggravated and rubbed his face. He tried again a little softer, “no I do not. I did this to myself. I wanted things to be simple,” he sighed leaning against the wall near the door and slid down to sit, completely deflated.

“Uh…” the genius looked around confused. “What?”

“I desired the easy way out of this mess. I thought ‘sorry’ could fix it all.”

“Um…yeah…” he hadn’t the faintest idea as to what the god was talking about, but he knew that leaving was rude, so he stayed trapped at the door and listened.

“‘Sorry’ is merely a word!” he said darkly, continuing his rant now that his heart had finally found the proper way to express his feelings. “It cannot fix things. It cannot heal the wounds that have been inflicted upon him or the scars he has been forced to carry. It is but salt upon them, a slap to his face, my hammer crushing his heart!” Thor covered his face with his hands and tried to restrain his angry sobs. “I cannot say ‘sorry’ and think I understand his pain.” He swallowed and shook his head, turning his face toward the sun, his voice becoming quieter. “He has suffered greatly. Far greater than I can ever hope to understand or dare to imagine. If I am to help him heal it will be on his terms and must be at his own pace. I cannot use words to shield myself any longer. I must make actions my weapon and conquer his trust. I will show him that I speak from the heart, of my own free choosing, and that I mean it all.”

Tony stood there awkwardly for a moment before deciding to close the door and sit down next to him. He put his hand on the thunder god’s shoulder in support.

“I have prayed and dreamed for _so_ long…I’ve forgotten that I’m not the only one suffering. I am still the same blind selfish –”

“Don’t do that to yourself Thor,” he pleaded. He was still uncomfortable and almost completely confused but he knew that letting the blond put himself down wouldn’t help anything. “We all make mistakes. You were just trying to do your best the only way you knew how.”

“He is just so angry!” Thor’s voice broke and he bowed his head ashamed. “And it is entirely my fault. If I had but listened, if I hadn’t left him alone here, if I had –”

“Do you really think it’d make a difference?”

“No,” he sniffed. “No, his anger stems back much further than New York. It goes…Norns I do not know!” he sighed lifting his head to gaze at the sky. “Decades perhaps? Maybe even several centuries? I never knew. Once he returned things went back to the way they’d always been, he never acted any different. He was collected and wise, when the time called for him to be; and wild with ingenious pranks when he felt the palace too still. He…he is like water: you may catch it in your hands, yet you cannot keep it there forever. It can be cold and hot; it can sooth and hurt; it is a must for living and a way to die.”

“Chaos…” Tony said to himself thoughtfully.

“Yes,” Thor sniffed again and swallowed, taking a hand and wiped his cheeks. “Loki has always danced between good and –”

“Evil?”

“No,”

“Bad?”

“Cunning,” he said gently and looked at his friend. “‘Cunning’ or ‘a bit overly mean at times’ are the best ways to describe the other half of him.”

“Selfish?”

“Perhaps,” he shrugged, “yet aren’t we all in a way?”

“Okay… you got me there.”

They both sighed, Thor pulling his legs to bend in front of him as he folded his hands and rested them over his stomach. Tony crossed his legs and set his hands upon his knees. They looked out into the distance absorbed with their own thoughts for several minutes.

“You did not come up here to attend to my misery, though. I apologise for overstepping your needs.”

“No, it’s fine. It was nice to get some air and stuff.”

“What was it you wished to ask?”

“So…if you had to give the love of your life some flowers, what would they be?”

“Roses.”

“Those are off the list. Too common here.”

Thor frowned and crossed an arm over his chest, the other coming to rest at his chin as he pondered. “What other plants do our realms share? Well flowers?”

“What?”

“I am going to assume that you do not have those. They are very popular in Asgard. How about forget-me-nots?”

“Too clingy…”

“Moonflowers?”

“You’re going to have to be more specific. That describes a lot of different kinds here.”

“They are this big around, all white and only open under the moon’s light?”

“No…I need something for her to see open for as long as possible.”

“Bloodwort?”

“What is that?” he frowned utterly confused.

“Um, let me see. The last time I was here I do believe it was called yarrow? Akhilleus gave some to us so that we might re-cultivate it on Asgard. It was a terrible year; wiped out most of our gardens and fields.”

“Um…no?”

“Then let me think…rockweed?”

“Isn’t that a type of seaweed?”

“No, these are fluffy ball flowers. They are pink, blue, or pale purple. They bear tiny fruit but only grow along rocky grounds.”

“No.”

“Starbells?”

“Are they romantic?”

“Somewhat,”

“No,” he sighed. “It doesn’t sound, right.”

“Well Guardians?”

“Nope.”

“Cosmic Hearts?”

“No.”

“Yggdrasil’s Bloom?”

“Nah.

“Sunbeam flowers?”

“Nope,”

“Witch’s Skirts?”

“I honestly don’t know what any of these are, I’ve just been saying ‘no’ just because.”

Thor rolled his eyes with a small laugh. “Do asters sound familiar?”

“You mean like regular daisies?”

“Yes, I do recall that to be another of their names.”

“No,” he sighed again and rubbed his face. “Daisies aren’t romantic enough and none of these others sound familiar or…right.”

Thor looked him over for a moment, “then what does?”

“I don’t know!”

“How long have you been with her?”

“Years…we just started dating like…maybe a year ago? Oh my god,” he exhaled frustrated and tugged on his hair. “I don’t even know when our anniversary is; what her favourite flowers are; her favourite colour or food; and I can’t even remember that she is allergic to strawberries half of the time! I’m such a bad boyfriend…” he whined covering his face.

“I suggest you sit at the viewing screen and look at flowers until you see one that you like. Look within yourself, I am sure if you let your heart guide you, you will choose well.”

“That’s…very romantic.” He said lifting his head from his hands.

“Thank you, my mother used to tell us that when we asked her what flowers to give the girl we were trying to impress at the time.”

“What ones did you choose?”

“I chose ones that were vibrant and impressive. Loki chose ones that were simple and sweet.”

“Simple…vibrant…impressive…sweet…” Tony pondered. “Hm…nothing comes to mind.”

“It will,” Thor laughed and patted his shoulder. “Have faith.” _That’s what we all need,_ he thought with a small sigh. _Faith and time…_

 

 

__

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some of the flowers mentioned (continued):  
>  ***Bloodwort/Yarrow** = is also known as _Achillea millefolium_. The colour range for this plant is huge: white, pink, yellow, orange-red, dark red, etc. This little beauty is an incredibly important herb. You can cook it; put it on a wound or cut to sterilise/speed up healing it; extract it’s blue essential oil to use as an anti-inflammatory or to prevent against influenza; stick it up your nose to encourage clotting to stop nosebleeds; use the aerial bits in a tonic to stimulate blood circulation or lower blood pressure; it helps with sweating during fevers, or menstrual problems, and it’s great for your eyes, or to get rid of earaches/toothaches/head colds/etc. You can inhale it in smoke form and it helps relax and tone the uterus to ease childbirth (but dear gods do not take this plant at ALL until you are well and ready to pop that baby out!). The thing with Achilles, or Akhilleus, is that it’s named after him, because according to legends, he used to tote it around with him to help treat his battle wounds. This plant was also used in the process of making beer before they started using hops. This plant is legitimately magical and it’s one of my favourites. That’s why it gets a book description.  
>  ***Rockweed** = Real name: _Ageratum_. They come in blue, lilac, white, pink, etc. They look like someone pulled them out of a Dr. Seuss book. They’re cute, but a large majority of this species of flowers are toxic so don’t eat them!  
>  ***Starbells** = specific type _Platycodon grandiflorus_. They look like stars, and their name in Greek is like “big bell” or something. They are also known by the names: Korean/Chinese/Japanese bellflower or balloon flower. The roots are used in many Asian medicines as an anti-inflammatory for coughs or colds.  
>  ***Well Guardian** = _**Aquilegia**_. The two I was specifically referring to are the _red and white columbine_ and the cultivar _columbine magpies_. Native Americans ate the steams, leaves, and petals sparingly. The seeds, roots, and everything else is highly toxic.  
>  ***Cosmic Heart** = Real name: _Nigella_ , aka love-in-a-mist, ragged lady, or devil-in-a-bush. They are spectacularly bizarre looking flowers! The picture is of the “damascene” kind. They come in various shades of yellow, pink, blue, and purple.  
>  ***Yggdrasil’s Bloom** = I made these up. Kind of. We all know that Yggdrasil is an ash tree, but some sources I’ve found say it is a green ash. Their buds are this or this and they do bloom, but they are SUPER tiny little things. They poof into leaves after that. So I figured, magical tree of life, Asgard is a different world, mix that tree with these, _Strongylodon macrobotrys_ and boom! That’s the magic of imagination and vodka. I enjoy the result, especially when you picture the Jade vine (the common name for the flower above) in a darker blue-green or pale purple colour (it mainly comes in various shades of turquoise or mint green). Fun fact: Ash trees are closely related to olive and lilac trees. Jade vines are closely related to the pea and bean family (specifically runner or kidney beans).  
>  ***Sunbeam** = just sunflowers. My mother calls them that and no one knows why.  
>  ***Witch’s Skirts** = _Datura metel 'Fastuosa'_ , or Black daturas are the cultivar of the Datura metel, which are also called devil’s trumpet, which are a species of Daturas, which are moonflowers. These plants are poisonous, but were once used in medicines. They smell really sweet, and guess what? It’s part of the Solanaceae family so that means it’s classified as a ‘nightshade’ herb. Eat a bit of datura and you’ll be tripping balls before you die.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright everyone, this is it! The moment some of you have been waiting for and the reason why this fiction is rated E. Sorry in advance for mistakes or if things don't make since! I pretend to be a well-educated English speaking adult sometimes xD. If something is just down right confusing let me know and I'll fix it immediately. 
> 
> It's only Clint and Loki and...stuff ;D. I hope you all enjoy it!

 

\----------------------20----------------------

Clint jerked awake and sat up quickly. Wiping the sweat from his brow, he reached out instinctively and searched for Loki. He found nothing but empty sheets. Looking around he spotted the god standing before the window studying the city at night. His arm was bent; elbow resting over top of the other, which was wrapped across his chest as if to guard himself; his fingers traced lightly over his top lip in thought.

“I am being selfish, am I not?” the trickster asked leaning on his side against the window; his voice distant as though it were a piece of the ever continuously raging war that had slipped off of the battle field and was trying to wander back into the fray.

“No,” Clint cleared his throat and flipped the covers off, making his way over to stand next to him. He laid his head on the god’s shoulder and wrapped his arms around him. “You’re just being unnecessarily cruel to yourself.”

“Am I?” he seemed vaguely surprised, as if such a notion had never occurred to him before. Sighing, he shook himself, coming back to the present and looked down at their entwined hands resting over his abdomen. He pulled the archer’s up and pressed his lips to his knuckles with a small smile, “I apologise.”

Barton grinned and pressed a kiss to the back of the god’s neck. “No need…unless you continue to do it needlessly.” He continued to nuzzle against the pale soft flesh that smelled of soap and Loki.

After he had returned from a day of piddling around the mansion uselessly, he had found the god sitting in a fresh medical outfit, combing out his wet hair with a bandage on his arm where his IV had been. He explained that Banner had decided he was fit and no longer needed ‘Midgardian assistance’, so long as he promised to make a better effort to eat. Loki had even felt well enough to endure a small tour of the floor they were currently staying on. He seemed very interested in the kitchen appliances and the sink. Now, Clint was silently praying he’d be interested in other things and finally take the bait. He had tried a little before bed, but the god seemed too tired from walking after so long of being bound and moved around manually.

A grin spread slowly over the mage’s face as he turned around to eagerly claim Clint’s hungry lips. A spark surged between them, making their skin tingle, and their hearts beat faster. Clint moved closer to him until they were flush against each other and the super thick glass.

“Are you done beating yourself up?” he sighed letting Loki’s mouth tug at his bottom lip once he had reluctantly come up for air.

“And if I am…?” he purred challengingly.

Clint shrugged and took a few steps toward the bed, one hand still teasingly playing with the god’s sleeve. “I think fucking each other sounds like a better use of energy and time.” They shared a wicked grin before Loki moved forward and pressed their lips together again. They fisted the each other’s hair demandingly, deepening the kiss and let their tongues dance along together as they manoeuvred their way clumsily to the bed.

“I’m warning you, if we start this all again I’m not stopping this time,” he mumbled mouthing down the god’s throat as he twisted them, pushing him down against the mattress and climbed onto his lap.

Loki chuckled, letting the need within him ignite, and smoothed his hands down the archer’s back to grip his perfect backside with a satisfied sigh, “No, I would not wish it for all the worlds.”

Barton shivered as he felt him finally reopen his end of the connection. The thread like fragments knotted back together and sizzled as their desires crept down the lines. Loki’s was cool. Everything about him had always been: his touch, his breath, his eyes, his voice, that delicious body. Everything that made him who he was screamed winter storm. Even his breath tasted of fallen snow with just a hint of spearmint. Clint loved his flavour; loved that now they could physically and spiritually touch the ache in his chest had ebbed away leaving a warmth that strengthened and healed his soul.

Loki hummed and licked his lips as he picked up on his thoughts. “You taste divine as well,” he commented pressing his mouth against Clint’s chin to kiss down to the base of his throat; pulling his grey shirt collar off to the side so he could sample as much of him as possible.

“Yeah?” he groaned rocking his hips down against Loki’s. “Mulberries come to mind, oddly.”

“Sun ripened _fresh_ mulberries…” he whispered savouring the words against Barton’s flushing skin before licking back up and devouring his mouth again. His taste was rich: royally sweet with just a slightly sour tang which nipped along the sides of his tongue, causing his mouth to salivate. The archer was wild, simple, earthy and bright and it drove Loki mad. He was everything he’d never known he wanted and he felt as though he’d never get enough.

Clint smirked and felt fingers teasing at the bottom edge of his top. “Well let’s take off my shirt and see if you can.”

Loki whipped off the dark grey cotton t-shirt the archer had worn to bed as Clint quickly fumbled to unbuttoned and rid him of his medical one. He handed it over and let Barton toss their clothing pieces aside, relaxing back as the assassin ran a hand down his smooth toned chest slowly. Loki swallowed and set his nervous hands on Barton’s hips, tilting his head up, offering his lips in invitation.

Clint RSVP’d and they both began slowly exploring each other. Their kisses started off a tiny bit hesitant; their tongues ached for the flavour of the other; their touches said they were familiar with this territory yet held back at first; and their teeth became territorial, branding each other’s skin lightly to ward off outsiders.

“Are you up for this?” he mouthed against Loki’s shoulder breathlessly as they moved up the bed to give themselves more room.

“Yes!” the god moaned frustrated. Adjusting the archer’s face up in order to better kiss his throat, he ran his tongue up his Adam’s apple and whispered, “I am well enough to do this, now stop fretting and keep making those delectable noises… my little Hawk.”

Barton shivered and let the god have his way with his throat until his nerves couldn’t stand it. He gripped at the sheets on either side of the mage and rocked his hips down into him slowly. The feel of his fingers playing into his hair, the brush of them tracing down the back of his neck as his hot tongue dragged up it, his breath blowing at the wet patch with a laugh at the small whimper Clint couldn’t stop from making.

After a few agonising moments of that sweet torture Clint decided he needed to speed things along. He bent his face and pecked the god’s neck, indicating that he was moving. He scooted down so he that could begin mapping a trail along Loki’s chest with his tongue. Barton shifted in between his legs and took his time to swirl his tongue along Loki’s navel. He loved how it made the creature mew elegantly and arch beneath him, just like one of his beloved bows. He nipped and sucked at the pale skin drawing more from the mage. Their bond tightened and his body tingled as he began to feel it sending phantom sensations between them. It was a bit bizarre to slide his fingers down Loki’s sides as well as feel the faint traces of them upon his own a second later. The touch was subtle, wavering in and out, but this potential turned Clint on to a whole new level.

He untied and slipped the god’s white pants off, smiling when he discovered he wasn’t wearing underwear. The sight of his bare form brought back memories which flooded blood downward, heightening his arousal. Loki’s body was pure ivory; statuesque with all of the perfect dips and details to his lithe figure. He was smooth, the only visible hairs on his person resided mainly upon his head with thinned soft patches under his arms and above his manhood. He was uncut and well-endowed, especially once fully erect. He was roughly the same length and thickness as Clint, who was proudly a little above average. This made things easier between their roles.

Clint found that if he had a partner who he was unevenly matched with they would always insist to top, no questions or compromises; but Loki was different. He enjoyed the pleasures from both roles just as much as Barton. Clint shuttered excitedly and licked his lips as he remembered his taste being much better than anyone else he’d ever encountered. He pressed his lips against the god’s member and then dragged his tongue up it slowly; the salty soft taste made his mouth water for more.

Loki tensed and grasped him by the back of his neck, pulling him up short of his actions, and flipped their positions. He suckled on each of the archer’s nipples in turn, bringing them to tightened little buds which he could quickly flick his tongue over greedily. The archer groaned and smoothed his hands up the god’s chest. He massaged his pecks as he squeezed his eyes shut tightly bracing himself as a sharp spike of desire shot down his spine and straight to his groin before fanning out. Loki laughed low and dark before giving the hard buds a satisfying gentle tug with his teeth and then quested lower. He traced his tongue just under the band of Clint’s pants, enjoying him squirm, hot and desperate, beneath him.

“Do I have the honour of sharing your bed and claiming your body first?” he asked nipping at the skin above Clint’s hipbone, as he pulled the waistband down, teasingly running his first two figures along the curve of his pubic bone toward his member.

“Ugh! If that means you want to fuck me senseless right now, yes! For the love of pizza and Tastykakes – yes!” he gasped and groaned.

Loki chuckled again and slid Barton’s pyjama pants and navy boxer briefs off in one motion, dropping them off the side of the bed unceremoniously. He knelt between Clint’s opened legs, trailing his long slim fingers over the archer’s trembling thighs as he stared down at him. Clint’s eyes were heavy and dark, his breath deep as his damp chest heaved up and down in anticipation for what he thought was to come next.

Loki had a few other plans though, and bent, lifting Barton’s leg up slightly, to kiss the spot on the underside of his knee. He kissed the area again, this time sucking a little on it as he pulled his mouth away. Clint tensed, his hands closing on the sheets as the god repeated the action, adding his tongue to drag along the supple smooth flesh. The assassin hissed as goose bumps raced along his flushed skin. The trickster smiled knowingly and went over the process again: kiss; kiss with a tiny suck; kiss with a tiny suck and tongue; kiss; kiss with a tiny suck; kiss with a tiny suck and tongue… his fingers teasing feather-light around Barton’s other knee.

Loki was thrilled beyond words that Clint’s body was still so receptive and sensitive to his ministrations. He straightened the archer’s leg more and latched his mouth to his popliteal fossa, sucking and striking his tongue against the tender area sporadically. Clint cried out and clawed at the sheets, his senses rapidly becoming over stimulated. The god pulled away blowing on the spot gently before, slowly leaning forward to kiss him deeply, his hands moving to smooth up Barton’s body and cradle his face.

“The noises you make,” he uttered in a hushed tone against the archer’s lips.

Clint swallowed and ran his hands along the god’s back, urging him closer, needing the friction. Loki sat up and shook his head with a devilish smirk. He moved his mouth down to the untouched leg and repeated the actions he had applied to the other knee. Clint’s lips parted to let his tongue flick in the same slow manner as Loki’s as they watched each other. His normally pale green-blue eyes were intense and had darkened to a vibrant pale leafy hue, the pupils widening little by little with his arousal as he watched Barton’s body react to his touches. It wasn’t long until he had the archer basically sobbing with pleasure beneath him and he groaned with a soft sigh as he tilted his face to mouth along his knee cap.

“Please Loki!” he begged, curling his toes as another wave of electricity surged up around his body and settled in his core.

Loki smirked again and finally relinquished his patella from sexual torment. Letting his fingers trail along Clint’s inner legs and down, he circled his entrance with the pad of a long cold finger, using his magic to simulate the same motion deeper within his body. The archer covered his face with his arms and moaned deeply. The sound made the god’s lips twitch with delight as heat poured into his stomach and swirled lower.

Sliding his body flush against Clint’s he turned them to lay on their sides, draw the tanned leg to wrap around his waist before reaching his hand behind the archer, tracing his fingers upon his backside, repeating the spell. Barton gripped Loki’s shoulder and held him close, groaning this time as the invisible digit delved deeper. He shifted so that his other leg was between the god’s slightly bent legs and rolled his hips.

Loki brought his hand up, whispering the spell along his fingers to slicken them before slipping them between Clint’s cheeks. His other arm moved to hold Barton just under his arm and pulled their chests closer. He turned his face and kissed him as he slowly began easing into his entrance.

Clint’s gasp of delight morphed into a long hiss of gratification as Loki made quick gentle work of teasing him loose enough to manage a second digit in. He rolled his hips against him again and took up kissing him fiercely; letting the god swallow his needy moans as he barely opened his fingers to stretch him wider. He could feel Loki’s member almost completely hard against his thigh as he rutted into him. Clint moved his other arm, which was pressed semi-awkwardly into the mattress, down in between them and took the firm length in hand, stroking it roughly.

Loki shoved his fingers deeper in surprise, a low groan rising from his chest. Clint repeated the motion and was rewarded with a third finger. After a few teasing touches between the two of them, Loki pulled his fingers out and moved his arm to hook under Clint’s leg, pulling it up higher and pushed them back in. From this angle he was able to get them in further, allowing him to stretch him with ease. He pressed kisses along Clint’s jawline and ran his unoccupied fingers down his spine to help him relax.

Barton moved more on top of him, using his free hand to steady himself beside Loki’s head as he rocked back onto the trickster’s fingers. Loki whispered the spell along his other hand and shifted so that Clint was almost completely covering him. Gently rubbing circles along the loosening ring of muscles with his thumbs, he pushed one finger in from the new hand and pulled another from the old hand out.

“Remember the last time we lay just like this?” he breathed against Clint’s reddened ear.

“Yes,” he swallowed, groaning as Loki continued to gently and skilfully work him open. His body jerked as another stab of heady need coursed painfully through him. “It was France.”

“Yes…”

_They were lying on the huge bed in the abandoned building. Loki had used magic to clean off the mould and dust which had collected within its padding. It was soft, dipping low under their shared weight, and felt like clouds under Clint’s body._

“I took you twice that night,” Loki smirked and pushed a fourth finger into Clint, opening them slightly as he slowly drew them almost out. “Once on your knees and then I made you ride me.”

_Clint’s legs burned. It had been a long time since he had had to work this position, but the manner in which Loki had begun to come apart under him, the way he fisted the sheets around his head, how quickly his hips lost their rhythm, how his thrusts burned out their speed yet his body convulsed yearning for more. Clint wanted to keep him this way. He wanted to take control away from him so that he could lose it completely. He wanted to see Loki break and melt and beg and come until he couldn’t move. Clint wanted to fuck him senseless and then continue fucking him after he had passed out from bliss._

“I was sore the next day,” he confessed in a rough whisper and bit back a moan as Loki hooked his fingers and applied a little more pressure, drawing them out at a snail like pace. He knew he had to be more than properly prepared by now; the trickster was just being cruel and teasing him needlessly. He felt another wave of longing run through him, this time it was accompanied by a muted form that he now recognised came from Loki.

“I loved watching you walk around as though nothing had happened, yet every time you sat, that tiny little grimace,” Loki shivered and removed his second hand, letting the three fingers he had originally started with move in and out of Clint, searching for the centre of his pleasures. The hair on the back of his neck stood on end as the connection teased him with his own actions. He knew he was close to the hard bundle of nerves so he kept just short of his intended destination. “Those looks made me desire to bend you over and take you again.”

“You did on the roof,” he whined as Loki’s fingers pulled away from where he needed them.

The trickster chuckled, “Oh yes…I had forgotten…”

_Clint was bent over, his stomach and thighs pressed flat against the building’s low roof edge, fingers digging into the outer side of the wall as Loki thrusted in and out of him rapidly. He clamped a hand over his mouth to keep his moans down. It was late in the evening and he didn’t want to draw anyone’s attention to their activities. The faint link that spun around him flared out, signalling that Loki had casted a spell._

_“You may scream for me, little Hawk…” he commanded against his ear. “No one but I will hear.”_

_Clint had let go, shouting in rapture as each thrust went deeper, harder, pulling him higher and higher._

“We’re going to have to do that again,” Barton groaned, burying his face into the god’s shoulder and shivered.

Loki laughed out loud and, at long last, removed his teasing fingers, flicking the spell clean off of them all. “It is higher up here…I might not have to use a silencing charm upon the area.”

“I don’t think I’d want you too now,” he panted licking his lips and let the mage roll them so that he was lying flat on his back once more.

“Nor I,” he agreed stealing a kiss and removed Clint’s hand from his now fully erect member. He smoothed a spell over it to slick it up and positioned himself. Barton opened his legs wider, lifting them a little and waited as patiently as he could manage. Loki hesitated and looked at him, a flash of his uncertain insecurity jeered Barton’s nerves.

“Loki…” he murmured reaching up to trace his knuckles down his cheek and tried to keep his voice as sweet as he possibly could. “If you don’t do this now, I’m going to die.”

The god’s mouth tightened into a line as he flared his nostrils with a frown. “You most certainly will not.”

“Deny me this now and we’ll find out if I’m right or not.” He gripped Loki’s chin and pulled his face close. “Do it,” he hissed against his lips. _Fuck me._

Loki pushed his head into him, pulling back a tad before pushing forward a little more than before. The muscles in Clint’s lower half gave way in familiarity as the god worked himself in bit by agonisingly tormenting bit. After a few inches they both inhaled sharply and groaned; Loki’s deep and rich, Barton’s breathy and satisfied.

The god was going at a painstakingly sluggish speed which both flattered and infuriated the archer. Loki’s gentle consideration was touching, but not in the touching way Clint’s body was craving. He moved the hand that had gripped the trickster’s chin down to his hip, giving it a small tug. Loki sank deeper into him and they groaned again.

He slid his hands up to capture Clint’s face, keeping their lips locked in a searing kiss as he froze a little more than half way inside of him. Barton’s muscles clamped and relax several times as he body adjusted. He snaked his other hand down Loki’s back and pulled at him again with a little more force, indicating he was free to move as he wished.

The trickster pulled out and rolled his hips downward very carefully, pressing his mouth around the archer’s chin and throat as Clint softly cried out in pleasure. Running his hands along Barton’s sides, he gripped his thighs tightly, bringing them to wrap around his waist. After these few beginning movements, Loki picked up the pace and thrusted quickly into Clint’s very willing body.

The symphony of their coupling filled the small medical room: gasps slipped from their lips as they fumbled around their upper bodies, trying to savour the taste of cooling sweat along the dips in their shoulders and throats; a moan being swallowed or lapped up by a wicked tongue; the occasional scrape of teeth against a collarbone drawing out a loud pleasure filled gasp; the slapping of their slick skin as they struck against one another.

It felt indescribable: being yanked between his own mind and Loki’s with each thrust. Each sensation shared between them, not knowing if the cry falling from his mouth was really his own or Loki’s provoked from the bond. He dug his fingers into their hips, Loki thrusted forward seeking the right angle in order to hit their prostate, the feeling of a hand on his member...

Clint snapped out of his hazy state and gripped Loki’s wrist, pulling his hand away. “No,” he panted shaking his head.

“Your needs –” he began confused.

“I want it like it has been…remember?”

_Clint had gone to stroke himself as the god thrusted into him. Loki growled and snatched up his hands, pinning them down on either side of his hips with bruising strength._

_He leaned forward, pressing his mouth against Barton’s ear, forcing his head to turn to the side as he hissed, “You will come on my cock or you shall not come at all.”_

Loki’s eyes squeezed shut as that same predatory growl, he had emitted after those words, bubbled up within his chest. He leaned forward, pressing his hands into the mattress and began pounding into Clint, leaving the assassin to use his legs and hands to help guide his hips in the right direction.

Loki felt himself close; the ache in his loins was pulling at his stomach, twisting like a spring and he was more than ready to shoot off. He shifted his thrusts up, forcing himself down into the archer’s body more; his member going in a little deeper seeking for their release. Clint gave a thankful shout once the god had found his prostate and swore breathlessly as he squirmed against the bed. Loki groaned as Clint’s tight heat squeezed him. He made sure he struck it with almost every thrust.

The feel of his lips on their throat; him pounding into their body; their toes curling as he hit their sweet spot; their cries coming from the same mouth; their fingers digging into their shoulders; their tongue dancing upon theirs; the feeling of strings yanking painfully and deliciously at their nerves…

“Come for me,” he panted beseechingly; his cool breath against Barton’s swollen lips, which mouthed the words as they slid through the connection; neither of them sure whose mind it originally came from, but their hearts burned with that shared plea. Clint pressed their mouths together and swallowed Loki’s groaned just before everything in him snapped and he was pushed over the edge.

Barton arched and came hard crying out as he dragged his fingers down Loki’s back. His climax exploded around his body sending him spiralling into unfathomable ecstasy. The god thrusted several more times, groaned low in his throat, and stilled, following him down the path to paradise as he sank onto Clint’s body.

He welcomed the weight and the feel of his hot cum shooting deep inside of him. They lay for a while, trying to catch their breath as the sweeping waves of euphoria ebbed away, leaving them feeling boneless and floating above their bodies. Their minds untwined slowly, giving them their own moment to savour their private highs, as their hearts gradually fell out of sync toward their normal rhythm.

Loki was the first to move; sluggishly he lifted his head and pressed a few sloppy kisses along Clint’s chest, making his way to his waiting mouth. Sharing a good dozen long lip-locking smacks, the god let himself gently slide out of the archer, each swallowing the other’s finale groans. They let their lips part and rested their foreheads together; tenderly caressing each other’s bodies in their afterglow.

“That thought…” Loki mumbled and nuzzled their noses together. “The one in France…”

“Where I wanted to bang you unconscious?” he inquired picking up on his thoughts. “What about it?”

“Do…do you really desire me in such a way?”

“Yes…” he kissed him, his chest aching at the bashful and almost ashamed way the god had sounded when he asked him. “Of course I do.” He traced his hand gently down the side of his face, brushing his thumb over his cheekbone, pushing his sincerity into his words and down the bond as he stared deeply into his eyes.

Loki let out a shaky breath of relief and kissed him again, moving them onto their sides gingerly. When he looked back into the archer’s eyes he realised this was it. The thing he had been longing for as he walked in shadows along Yggdrasil’s roots, the darkness tauntingly following him. This was what he had lost all of those centuries ago. The one he had been waiting for. This was him along with the content feeling of belonging. He felt it radiate deep within Clint’s soul and he knew the archer could feel how badly he wanted him in return. Forever, just the way he was. Stubborn, funny, compassionate…loving…

It had been so long that he had forgotten how wonderful it felt. He eagerly went in for another easy kiss as joy rose up inside of him.

“Sleep…” Clint breathed as they broke apart, both of their jaws aching now at being overused. “Save this for tomorrow,” he gently tapped Loki’s temple to indicate his revved up thoughts, and then smoothed some of his hair back behind his ear. “Remind me to find you a ponytail holder too…” he muttered closing his eyes as took up Loki’s hand, pressing his lips to the long pale knuckles before entwining their fingers and brought them up to his near his heart.

The god smiled and allowed himself to succumb to his blissful exhaustion; the war within his mind finally unable to carry on any longer. His thoughts fell still as he felt warmth blossom in his chest. They both exhaled contently and relax into happier dreams at last.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good, yes? No?  
> *melts into a nervous wreck and awaits the verdict*


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not going to lie to you all, I meant to post this yesterday at a decent time, but then I started knitting socks and watching episodes of Merlin and by the time I knew what was up, I was already forming the heel and on like Season 3 and it was today but like 6am and I just decided I'd do this when I woke up and finished editing. I'm sorry I'm a bad person *hangs head*.
> 
> So now without further ado! All mistakes are my own. Please enjoy the chapter!

\----------------------21----------------------

Thor made his way down the hall, tray in hand, with Banner beside him as they neared Clint and Loki’s room. Because Loki wasn’t currently considered a security threat or his health in any danger, the lock which his door had been encoded with had been disabled yesterday evening after Bruce had left him. This pleased the thunder god, mainly because he’d forgotten his key card again and couldn’t for the life of him remember the passcode, and also because that meant that his friends were starting to trust his brother.

They stopped before the door and Thor took a breath, readying himself, hoping for a better encounter this time. He pushed the button, foot ready to take a step into the room, and froze.

Banner caught his arm and pulled him back quickly.

Thor swallowed, his eyes widening as he blinked a few times at the sight before them, “Friend Bruce?”

“Yes Thor?”

“Is…have they –”

“Yes,” he reached across the blond and closed the door, keeping his eyes on the floor. “Yes they did…um…” he cleared his throat and began walking down the hall. “Well…uh let’s go wrap these up and, uh wait to see if they are hungry when they wake…okay?”

Thor could only nod as he followed him away. He was torn between utter shock and happiness for the two. It was not the first time he’d walked in on his brother, and Loki had in turn interrupted or come across the aftermath of some of his own personal encounters; no that was not what caused him surprise now. It was the fact they had laid with each other so soon. He had not expected Loki to be well enough to do such a thing for at least a few more days.

It meant his brother was doing better than what he’d originally thought. It was a sign that the bond was strong and that his intentions for making amends were true. Thor’s initial shock turned into warming hopeful thoughts. Their ceremony would be marvellous indeed! He was going to have to start on a guest list. Loki wouldn’t hear of others being present and celebrating a great milestone in his life, yet Thor would get him to see reason. With Clint helping him he was sure he could manage to have the god invite several family members and distant friends of old. He was even more determined now.

“Thor?”

“Yes Bruce?”

The scientist was still a bit uncomfortable over stumbling upon something personal. He rubbed his red face, “If the others ask why, don’t go into details. Just say that it’s under my orders that the two of them should remain in bed to rest. Agreed?”

“Agreed.” Thor nodded understandingly.

\-------------------------------------------------

Phil set the small paper bag of gas store goodies into the passenger’s side seat of the Mazda RX-7 he was currently renting. He lifted the nozzle out of its cradle and unscrewed the cap to the filling inlet. While he waited for the tank to fill up he drummed his fingers on the side of the car and looked around.

He was at the quaint TNT Quik Shop, just about seven or eight miles out from Oklahoma’s Natural Falls State Park. It was the last known location for Foster and her crew, and he hoped that he’d either find them or someone who could point him in the right direction. He didn’t have long before he had to continue on with his own personal mission.

The pump made a noise indicating it was done. He picked up the nozzle and set it back into place before re-screwing the cap, closing the fuel door, and climbed into the vibrant lime-green convertible. He started the engine and took off, making his way back onto U.S. Route 412. The radio was tuned into the local classic rock station where the hosts were currently talking about the alien invasion that happened earlier in the year.

“It’s true!” one of the female callers insisted. “I was in New York and they were coming out of a hole in the sky!”

“Okay, so let’s just say it is,” the younger sounding male host said condescendingly. “How come they chose New York? If they were going to take over the world, don’t you think they could have picked a better spot?”

“New York’s a pretty important area,” the older male host reasoned.

“I’m talking about strategy wise, not landscape and population attraction. They should have taken out bases, blown our ships into the sea –”

“I agree,” the female host cut in. “If they were real _and_ serious about taking over our world, they should have gone to Washington.”

“No one wants to go to Washington!” the older male host whined. “That place is under enough threat as it is from its own people over this Super Act thing.”

“The Superhuman Registration Act,” the female corrected.

“Yes. For those of you who don’t know anything about that, the government is trying to pass a law to enforce all persons considered ‘superhuman’ or to have ‘unnatural powers’ to register with the government. They will have to show what their abilities are, and a trained legal team of specialists – no idea what that means – will determined if that individual is safe or needs to be flagged as a hazard.”

“That’s just stupid,” the young male cut in. “I may not believe in aliens or Captain America being alive, but isn’t it harsh to single out people like that?”

“That’s what the uproar over this bill is. People are claiming it’s unconstitutional. We’re really the only country – apart from Russia – that is trying to draw out the identities of, what the government is calling, ‘unnaturally powered persons’.”

“And that’s only when they are being fancy and politically correct,” the female added a bit nastily.

“Yeah, what do they call them outside of that?”

“Mutants,” the older man replied, his voice sounded disgusted. “I’ll say it again, as I’ve said it before, we have some in my family and the most they can do is blend into the wall or stay underwater for long periods of time. I don’t see what the fuss is?”

“Isn’t one of the claims their making is that some can go through walls?”

The female chuckled, “That’d be great if you locked yourself out of your car or your own house.” They all laughed.

“We have a caller, tell me what’s your name and –”

Phil switched off the radio annoyed and pulled into the park. This wasn’t a laughing matter. The radio hosts might not mind but many others did. A lot of government officials had struck unnecessary fear into the hearts of the American population. Many thought the attack on New York was a result of mutants. The greedy politicians vomited the lies and the ignorant herd gobbled it up. It made him sick to think about it all.

He followed the road to the camp ground area and looked among the RV section for one in particular. There at the end of the line, turned backwards, was an RV with fifteen different radio wires and satellites attached to the roof with a muted green tent next to it. The flap was opened and the figure of someone slumped in a chair with their boots up on the table could be seen from that distance. A computer monitor flashed and showed a clear space view of the weather in the area and in the surrounding states.

Phil smiled and pulled up next to it, turning off the engine and quietly emerged from the car. He walked forward toward the tent. He ducked in and looked around at the maps pinned around the sides. More papers were tapped or stapled to them, and bright red or green circles and arrows littered the surfaces. The table was strewn with papers holding hand written equations and notes. There was a walkie-talkie in the sleeping person’s lap and, upon closer inspection in the shaded light when he gently lifted up the small ball cap, Coulson could see the one left to guard the troupes stuff had been none other than Darcy Lewis.

He backed away from her on silent feet and went around toward the door. Peeking inside the window he could tell no one was currently home. Either they were off on an expedition or had gone to get more supplies. He figured the latter was more appropriate, considering that the monitor had shown nothing unusual happening in the area.

Making his way back, he had just rounded the corner of the RV when a beat up Jeep pulled up next to his car. Jane jumped out of the front quickly, her face angry.

“Excuse me, sir. You can’t park here! We’re –” she stopped when he pulled off his sunglasses and stuffed his hands into his pockets. “Oh my god…” she breathed, her whole body changing from fighting to shock as her mind turned ‘danger’ to ‘friend’. “Oh my god!” she said louder.

Darcy jerked up, “I was only blinking! I swear! My eyes were dry! That’s all!” She rubbed her face and then turned to look at Jane. She followed her line of sight slowly. “Oh my god…” she breathed shocked.

“Jane?” Erik got out of the car and came around hurriedly, worry on his face until he saw Phil. “Oh my…but…I saw –”

“Hello Dr. Foster, Dr. Selvig, Miss Lewis,” he nodded to each of them.

“I always thought zombies where supposed to be ugly,” Darcy frowned disappointed as her shock wore off quickly. She stood up and stretched, coming out of the tent.

“Phil…I-I didn’t recognise you without your black suit,” Foster said still stunned.

“Yeah, I’m sort of on vacation,” he laughed and glanced down at his kaki and light blue Hawaiian dress shirt combination.

“This isn’t real…” Erik said coming over, hands held out toward the agent.

“It’s good to see you too,” he said taking his hands and pulled him into a hug.

“You’re dead.”

“I know.”

Erik let go of him and took a step back. “How?”

“That’s classified.” They both shared a small laugh. “How is your head?”

“Better,” he said touching a spot with a wince as the phantom pain returned. “Much better now that it is mine again.”

“Good. Sorry I didn’t call earlier. I don’t have long to stay before I have to be on the road again. Do you have some time we can sit and chat?”

“Yes,” Erik turned to Darcy and gestured to the table. She nodded at his unspoken command and began gathering up their research papers. “We just picked up some food and were about to make a late lunch.” He looked the agent over again; smiling at him he gave his shoulders a squeeze. “It’s good to know that bastard didn’t actually kill you.”

Phil nodded and nervously laughed, “Yes…it seems he wasn’t really trying too hard after all.”

“Jane?”

“Right! The food,” she shook herself and went to retrieve some of the bags from the back.

“Anything I can help with?” Coulson rubbed is hands together and looked around.

“Here,” Darcy handed him a banker box now full of papers and some wires. “Take that inside. The monitor is next, and I don’t want to carry it, so hurry back.”

“Darcy he’s a guest,” Selvig scolded.

“What?” she shrugged. “Hollywood told me zombies have super strength, and I’m a girl! I hate lifting heavy things.”

“It’s honestly alright,” Coulson reassured. “I’d be more than happy to lift it when I get back.”

“Are you sure? I mean…have you fully healed?” Erik asked rubbing his hands nervously.

“Oh yes,” Phil promised with a smile. “I’m completely fine.”

\-------------------------------------------------

“So what flowers did you decide to get her?” Banner asked as he helped Tony lift a giant breast plate onto one of the work benches.

“Tulips!” he grunted as they neared the bench. They both set it on the side and let go, sighing with relief, and took a moment to shake the feeling back into their arms and catch their breath. “Tulips,” he said again wiping his brow with his arm. “I bought red, white, and the mix of the two.”

“Mix of the two?” he asked, his body quickly recovering.

“Yeah, y’know, the ones that are both kind of pinky-red with the white?” Tony puffed still breathless.

“Estella Rijnveld or Burning Heart?”

“What the fuck?” he frowned turning away from him and went to go grab up his work towel to wipe his face and hands off with.

Banner sighed and shook his head, “Are the petals smooth all around or kind of fringy.”

“Smooth. Everyone knows tulips are round…things.”

“There are some with fringes and stuff,”

“Yeah, fake tulips. Wannabe tulips. I got her real ones.”

“This late in the year?”

“I had them flown in from a green house in Minnesota,”

“You’re a winner,” Bruce chuckled to himself. “You should have gotten her all red or yellow ones.”

“Why?”

Bruce removed his glasses and cleaned them on his shirt. “In Persia, politically called Iran now, people give red tulips to someone as a way to declare their love. Yellow ones are to say ‘I’m hopelessly and utterly in love’.”

Tony glared at him and then tossed down his towel. “Fuck were you when I was buying that shit?”

“You never asked,” he shrugged innocently.

“ _I_ never asked?”

“Asking what her favourite flower is is different than coming up to me and saying: ‘Hey, Bruce, old buddy. I’m thinking tulips. You’re full of random facts. Tell me what you know.’”

“Hey Brucy!” he shouted frustrated. “I bought tulips! What do white ones mean!?”

“Forgiveness and worth, best used for memorials and funerals –”

“Oh fuuuuuuck!” he hissed turning around and threw his hands into the air. Great, he already screwed everything up and she wasn’t even off of her plane yet!

“They are a declaration of one’s ‘perfect love’ when given to a sweetheart.” Banner smiled at him, setting his glasses back on his face and headed for the door, satisfied the billionaire had learned his lesson. “See you did just fine on your own. Relax.”

Tony flopped into a chair and let it roll several feet from where it had been. “Yes…” he breathed leaning back and taking a moment.

“Need anything else?”

“No,”

“You told her about Loki waking up, right?”

Tony froze for a second. “Yeah…what do you think, I’m stupid?” he shot back at him, becoming defensive. Of course he had told Pepper…hadn’t he?

“I’ve started to wonder actually…”

“Keep it up; I’ll move you to the ‘do not entre’ floors above.”

“Oh no!” Banner laughed and pretended to shiver. “Whatever will I do up in those dark levels without windows, minimal electricity, and poor running water? It’ll be like India all over again!”

“So what’s the deal for tonight’s dinner party?” he called finding a packet of gum and popped a piece into his mouth. He scooted his chair over toward the exit, spinning around in it childishly.

“What do you mean?” he said stopping to look at him.

“I mean like is Clint ever going to eat at a regular table again?”

“Do you want him too?”

“Do you not want him too?”

Banner leaned against the doorframe and crossed his arms amused. “Are you trying to play the question game with me again?”

“Am I trying too?”

“Do you want Clint at the table?”

“Do you think he should be at the table?”

“Loki too?”

Tony stopped and frowned. “What?”

“Where Loki goes, Clint goes, yes?”

“Yes.”

“You didn’t want to make that a question there?” he said raising an amused brow.

“Dammit,” Tony hissed and lightly pounded his fist on his thigh. “Okay, you win; but what do you mean by that?”

“Wherever Loki is located, Clint is sure to either be there or be on his way there. He doesn’t like being very far from his side,” he kept himself serious and pushed back the embarrassing memory of that morning from his mind.

“So if we invite Clint to the grownups table Loki has to come too?”

“See I knew you were a genius,” he smiled and patted his shoulder. Tony blew a bubble and glared at him in response. “You knew it already. We all knew it was going to happen eventually.”

“Are they ready?”

“That’s…something they are going to have to answer themselves, but if you are asking for my own personal opinion? Yes, Clint and Loki are both healthy enough to come and eat the same food as we are tonight.”

“Romanoff is not going to like that,” he snapped his gum and spun around in his chair.

“She has been acting very well around him. I don’t think it will cause a problem.”

“Steve is too nice to start a fight…” Stark mused, spinning in the other direction and blew another bubble.

“Everyone is fine around both of them. You are the only one who hasn’t seen him since he woke up. Pepper is the only one who hasn’t met him yet. You two are the deciding factor.” Tony stopped and stared at him, blowing a massive bubble out slowly and then poked it, never taking his eyes off of the scientist as he thought about it. “It’s your call,” Banner gently reminded.

Tony spun himself around and snapped his gum. “You’re my best friend, so you can stay at the table,” he said aloud to himself, as he spun around one way and then back the other several times. “Thor is my good friend, so he can stay at the table. You are friends with Steve, so he can stay at the table. Steve is getting sweet and funky with Natasha, and she can kill me, so she stays. Clint is like her gay bff, and she can kill me…he could probably too, so he can join. And…Loki is crazy and tried killing all of us.” He smiled up at Bruce.

“Tony be an adult about this.”

“I am!” he stopped and snapped his gum a few times.

“It wouldn’t kill us to keep extending the olive branch.”

“I don’t want to hold any sort of branch near him! He might smack me with it.”

“He _did_ apologise. He just wants to make amends for his past,”

Tony dropped his pretentious façade and turned his face away. “Alright,” he said quietly as guilt rose within him.

“Good, I’m glad it’s settled.”

“I get it.”

Banner frowned. “Get what?”

“Everyone is upstairs braiding hair, gossiping, and bonding, and I’m down here tinkering.”

“You know you’re always invited. Steve just bought new nail polish, and I think tomorrow’s movie is _Beaches_.”

“No _Pretty in Pink_?”

“No that was last night.”

“Sorry I missed it,” he patted his palms on the armrests a few times, his sudden playful mood slowly fading into voicing his inner sadness. “I’m going to miss a lot of things soon.”

“Then you better get up there and bond with us before you leave.”

Tony looked up at him, his body tensing as an anxiety episode threatened to sweep over him. “Do you think it’s too late for me?”

“To get to know the rest of the team?” he chuckled a little, slightly thrown off by the turn of their conversation.

“No, to make amends for what _I’ve_ done?”

Bruce paused and looked him over. “Is that the other thing that’s bothering you?”

“Nothing bothers me,” he declared childishly and pushed away from the scientist to spin over to the workbench with the giant chest piece waiting to be wired. He suppressed his feelings. It was better this way. The less others knew, the less they were burdened with, and the less harm he caused.

Banner wasn’t so easily fooled by his sudden mood swing. “Yes, Tony.” He answered seriously. “I think if someone wants to put forth the time and the effort to apologise and make up for the things they’ve done wrong, then they should be given the chance to do so.”

Tony swallowed, picking up his sauntering iron and gestured for Dummy to come over and help him. He didn’t honestly know what to say to Banner. They both had a lot of guilt riding on their shoulders. Hell all of them had their past chasing after them. None of them were innocent as what S.H.I.E.L.D. and the media once painted them to be.

Bruce gave a small sigh and straightened up. “Whatever your decision is, I suggest you make it soon. Dinner will be in a few hours, and you still have to pick Pepper up.”

“Yeah, I know. 5:30,” he waved a hand absentmindedly and soon lost himself in his work. When he was there he didn’t think about people coming after him; he didn’t think about all of the people who had been affected by his machines; who were victims of war; who harmed others; or endless beautiful nothings. He didn’t have to be scared. It was: “This wire fuses with this wire and they make this thingy work. This thingy does this thingy and it makes the dohickey comboble go zap. The dohickey comboble pairs with the whatsithere and they do this awesome thing. This wire fuses with this wire and they make the whatsithere do this as well…”

He felt a tap on his shoulder and he turned. It was Dummy, and he was holding Tony’s watch out to him.

“What?” he asked leaning back form where he was and read the clock. It was almost five thirty. There was something important he had to do…what was it? He looked down at his work. The dohickey comboble was already done and the whatsithere was nearly complete and the awesome thing was almost ready for testing…

“Oh!” he said restraining himself from face palming. “I have to go tell Clint and Loki about dinner!” Tony set his tools down and took his watch from the robot. “Thanks Dummy.” He put it on and made his way out and up the stairs to the elevator. He went up to the main common area and took the long way around to get to the medical unit. How was he going to put it? Should he just burst in and shout ‘surprise!’ or be polite and say, ‘excuse me, but can I have a moment of your time?’ Pepper had always told him that being polite was the way to go, and if Pepper said that was right, then it must be. He was really going to miss some of his old habits…

Stark knocked on the door and waited a few seconds. No one answered. He knocked again, this time tapping his foot and patting his hands on his thighs nervously. Standing outside of places and waiting had always been weird for him. Damn he hated Banner for making him do this. Why couldn’t he have done it! Tony sighed and rubbed his face. He had said he wanted more time to get to know the others and if this simple invitation was his punishment for hiding away from his responsibilities than he could suffer and bear it.

He knocked again and when no answered came again he decided to just activate the switch to open the door. He paused at the scene before him, took a step back, and then shut it. “Uh…Jarvis!?”

“Yes, sir?”

“Is…did they –”

“It appears they did sir. Would you care for me to wake them up or would you –”

“Wake them up please.” Tony covered his burning face with his hands and headed towards the kitchen. “Tell them dinner will be ready in a few hours and that Loki has been cleared and approved to eat with us.”

“Yes, sir.”

Turning away from the door he took a few moments to pull himself together. “I need a drink,” he sighed as his mind tried scrubbing the faint image away to no success. He nodded his head and went off to his last secret stash that Banner had yet to discover and confiscate. It was running thin so he was going to have to be sparing.

Hey, if he was lucky enough, he would not only forget what he’d just seen, and what his very unhelpful pervert brain had begun filling in the gaps with, but maybe it would help him figure out how to make the zingy bit and the awesome thing go _bam_!

 _Yeah…_ he smiled pleased with himself. Was he a genius or what? He was.

\-------------------------------------------------

 “Hey, are you going to eat that?” Darcy asked, her mouth full of fried rice, as she pointed at the remaining three pieces of Coulson’s sweet and sour chicken.

“No; be my guest,” he pushed the plate to her.

“I hope you don’t mind that the food was from a station. I know it’s not the best, but money is tight right now,” Jane apologised as she picked up her cup and drank from it, nervously looking over at the agent.

“No, it’s fine,” he assured her with a smile and then frowned. “I thought you were being funded by S.H.I.E.L.D.? If your project needs more –”

“No!” her voice was sharp and angry. She blushed and turned her face away embarrassed. “I mean…no…we’re fine. Thank you,” she whispered and pushed her food around on her plate.

“So now that you’re not dead, what are you doing with your life?” Darcy leaned toward him to pick at his food. “Eaten any good brains or small babies lately?”

“No small babies or brains, but I have been on a few small missions, a search or two, and managing a mountain of paperwork; just a lot of little things until I can resurface again.”

“How many people know you’re not dead?”

“A _very_ small number. I’d like to keep it that way,”

“If you give me the other half of your Swiss Roll I’ll keep your secret,”

“Darcy,” Erik warned giving her a very stern glare.

She deflated a bit and made a face as she jabbed her fork into the last piece of Coulson’s chicken and ate it, muttering unhappily under her breath.

“So…what happened?” Jane looked at him and then back at her plate. “With, New York…we heard a lot of things…but…” she shrugged and gestured for him to continue.

“Well…” he began and thought about his answer for moment. “Loki came to Earth, on orders from a foreign entity, and tired taking it over. He was neutralised by a group of heroes who are referring to themselves as ‘The Avengers’.”

“And who are they?”

“You know. Stark, Dr. Banner, that hot guy with the arr – OW!” Darcy leaned forward to grab her shin from under the table. “What the hell!?” she hissed at Foster.

Jane made a ‘shush’ face at her and then looked at Phil with a fake smile. “Continue please.”

He smiled sadly at her and folded his hands in his lap. “I know you’ve already hacked into the S.H.I.E.L.D. files and have reviewed all of this information, Miss Foster.”

“No way, I was careful about not leaving a trail!” Darcy gapped and then clamped a hand over her mouth realising, even if her statement was true, she’d just given herself away.

“Well can you blame me?” Foster said darkly to her plate and then sighed unhappily.

“Is it Thor?” Phil asked knowingly.

The other two nodded their heads with a roll of their eyes before Jane nodded her own head and looked at him. “I just want to know…” she bit her lip. “I just want to know why he didn’t stop to see me…or say goodbye…”

“Thor didn’t want you to be put in any sort of danger. We transferred you to Norway to keep you out of harm. He has agreed that it is best if he stays away until this mess with his brother is sorted out. He told me he’d return again soon and see you.”

“He’s said that before,” she replied hotly.

“I know he means it,” he glanced at his watch and then made a face. “I’m sorry to have to do this, but I need to get back on the road. I’m on a tight schedule.”

“I thought you were on vacation?” asked Darcy, chewing on another mouthful of rice.

“Vacations have limitations, and I’m short on time.” He stood and inclined his head respectfully to them. “It was great to see you all. I’ll send word and see you again soon.”

Erik stood and they exchanged a parting hug. He kept his arm around Coulson’s shoulder as he lead him back to his car.

“I can’t do much,” Phil said under his breath to Selvig. “But I can put in a call to add more money to your funding in a discreet way.”

“That would be wonderful,” he whispered back as they came to stand before the agent’s car. Erik pressed a note into his hand as they shook. “When you’re alone again.” He indicated secretly to the wad of paper.

Phil quickly put his hand into his pocket and nodded. Opening the door he got in and waved to the other two as he started his car. “Next time let’s do pizza. I know a few great places around the country.”

“How will you know where we’re going to be?” Darcy called.

“I know everything,” he chuckled and pulled away.

Selvig waved at the receding vehicle before shaking his head and went to sit back in his seat.

“This.” Jane said quietly.

“Hm?” he asked looking at her.

She was sitting staring at her plate with wide eyes. She looked up at both of them, painful excitement bubbling just under her surface as she tried organising her racing thoughts. “He said ‘this’.”

“I mean it’s a word, I’m sure he’s used it at one point,” Darcy muttered rolling her eyes.

“No Darcy shut up,” Jane snipped impatiently. “Phil said ‘until _this_ mess with his brother _is_ sorted out’.” She looked at each of them again. Both of her friends just stared back, waiting for her to get to the point. “Thor’s still here.”

“What?” Darcy whined tossing her fork down as she flopped back into the folding chair exhausted over the subject.

“No, Jane honey,” Erik said kindly and leaned forward touching her arm. “He didn’t–”

“No, he’s here,” she insisted and pushed his hand away as she stood. “He’s on Earth again! Or still! He’s on Earth and –” she stopped as the realisation of what she was claiming hit her. “He…he hasn’t…” Tears stung her eyes and she turned away quickly, heading for the safety of the RV as disappointment and anger welled within her. She slammed the door shut and flopped down onto her bed crying. Another broken promise…she had wished so hard for him to come back and… if he was on Asgard then he’s only broken his promise once…if he had returned, or worse, never left…

Darcy looked at Selvig, who sighed and shook his head as he turned his attention from the closed door to the assistant. “Do you think she’ll want to finish that?” she asked innocently pointing to Jane’s full and barely touched meal. Erik’s only response was to flare his nostrils at her with a flat look and tossed her his plate as an offering so that Jane could finish her own later.

\-------------------------------------------------

“How do we deal with tonight?” Steve asked slicing the fresh dough into sections.

“What do you mean?” Natasha asked as she stirred the giant pot of meat and vegetables after taking a tiny taste.

“You know what I mean.”

She tapped the spoon on the rim and set it aside, putting the lid back into place, and went to the fridge to start putting together a salad. “Then you know I made a truce.”

“You never said what that actually meant.”

“It meant I made a truce,” she replied. She was starting to get annoyed. She wished he would just drop this. He had been wonderful with dropping other subjects when she’d refused to answer; she hoped he would have given up when she walked away from him at lunch. Apparently he was much more stubborn than she’d realised.

Steve sighed heavily, sensing her mood and decided it was bet to let things go for now.  He rolled the soft chunks into balls and then formed them into oval shapes before setting them onto the baking sheet. “How is Clint?”

“Still resting,”

“I noticed you haven’t seen him today.”

“Well Banner’s kept them pretty much on lockdown all day,” she snipped as she finished pulling out all she needed.

“Seems a little odd, I mean he didn’t really do much yesterday.”

“He might not have, but Loki did,” she replied softly and slammed the head of lettuce down heavily before taking out the stem core and started washing the leaves.

“Are we going to talk about that?” Steve asked cautiously as he realised he was treading still in dangerous waters. When Natasha went from short tempered to quiet something unpleasant generally followed.

“We can,”

“Okay?”

She shrugged and put the clean leaves onto the cutting board picking up more dirty ones. “Thor and he talked.”

“Somehow I feel like that’s not what they really did.”

“Well…Loki talked,”

“About?”

Natasha was silent for a while. She didn’t answer again until she had torn every wet leaf into decent pieces and dropped them into the bowl. “His feelings,” she said softly and cleared her throat. “He talked about his feelings. How he felt he was treated before he fell…and a little of…how he feels now.”

“Betrayed?”

“Alone,” she set a two washed peppers on the board and began cutting it. “He feels alone. He feels lost…he feels…unwanted.”

Steve kept his comments to himself. He set the tray of bread into the oven and started the timer. Leaning against the counter he watched her work. “There’s something more.”

“There is,” she confirmed and scooped the red and yellow bits into her hands to drop them on top of the lettuce.

“Natasha, if you don’t talk to me I’m going to stop asking,”

“Well maybe I want you to stop asking,” she yelled at him, slamming the knife down hard enough that it embedded into the wooden board.

“Is it wrong for me to make sure you are okay?” he demanded, part of him wanting to slap himself for the anger and the level of his tone toward her.

“No, but I’m not used to this!” she explained still heated as she gestured with her hands between them. “I’ve been used my entire life by people who took an interest in ideas of me. Some of them I’ve never met and never will!” She felt tears well up in her eyes yet she couldn’t stop herself. The dam was broken and if she didn’t let it spill she was going to go insane and take everyone out in the process. “I was taught to push my emotions down. I was beaten into thinking that showing who I really am was wrong. I have spent almost my whole existence lying to myself about me in order to cope with having so many people sticking their hands into my mind so that they could fuck me up to suit their own needs.

“I never let anyone near me until I met Barton and I didn’t even trust him until he almost died for me. It took him bleeding in my arms for me to finally admit that I cared! I sincerely cried for the first time in years; not because it would help my job or my case, but because I was _scared_. I – I felt fear. I panicked. I broke down to a point where I didn’t know what to do, because I’d never been given a chance to fix myself. I’ve never been left to pick up the pieces of whatever my problem was and sort out where it fit in with _me_ , someone either told me how it did or stuffed it in the back of my skull. And he’s like that!” She shouted pointing toward the doors that lead to the medical side of the tower.

She lowered her voice as her throat burned trying to keep the words back, but her heart wouldn’t let her. “He’s just as _fucked_ up as I am and I still _hate_ him! And if I still can hate him, even when he’s said sorry, then I _have_ to hate myself. If his greatest crime was bringing that pissy little shit of a war to earth, then I should have been the one S.H.I.E.L.D. was torturing.” She stared at Steve angrily and yelled as she jabbed at her chest, “ _I_ should be the one chained and gagged. _I_ should be the one burned and cut and bashed. _I_ should be held responsible, because _I’ve_ done far more damage in my life span that _he_ did in a few weeks.”

Natasha stopped to take a breath and swallowed, looking away from Steve’s caring face. “That’s why I’m mad,” she whispered. “That’s why I hate talking about things. That’s why I keep fighting with everyone. I’ve,” she wiped at her eyes and stared down at her shaking hands for a moment. “I’ve never had this,” she gestured around her. “I’ve never had a real family or friends or people I could trust to keep me alive in dangerous situations. It’s always just been me…and then Clint…and now you,” she held her hand out to him before letting it drop against her thigh. “And I can’t deal with it all,” she sniffed and ran her fingers through her hair. “I…I thought I could but I can’t…because I’ve never been allowed this so I don’t know…how it all fits,” she finished gesturing sharply in several directions toward her body as though she were turning or moving pieces.

Steve took the few short steps to close the distance between them and pulled her into his arms. He held her tightly and kissed the top of her forehead once he felt her relax into his comfort and support. “I’m sorry I push so much.”

“No it’s not that,” she mumbled against his chest. “I…I love that you push. No one’s ever pushed…I just…I need a little help.” She sniffed and pulled back covering her face, “A guide or something.” Steve pulled out his handkerchief and handed it over. She took it and wiped her face before blowing her nose. “You know, A How-To-Be-A-Normal-Person, or Dealing-With-Your-Feels kind of book.”

“Everyone wants that,” he explained and held her shoulders gently. “You’re not alone Nata. You think that you are, but I promise you’re not. Especially here.”

Natasha gave him a watery smile before hugging him, this time giving him the comforting squeeze.

“Is everything alright?” Banner asked entering the kitchen slowly.

“Yeah, Natasha just murdered an onion,” Steve said patting her back.

She gave a tiny laugh before pulling back. “I have a soft spot for the little stinky bastards,” she played along and finished drying her face off with the handkerchief. She sniffed again and stuffed it into her back pocket before she stuck her face in the sink and splashed some water onto it.

“Yeah I know that feel, don’t let the big guy know I told you, but he is also affected by their cute tough exterior and fumy inner layers,” Bruce chuckled in his normal awkward manner.

Natasha and Steve laughed. She washed her hands and took the towel he handed her before they went back to the food they had been preparing.

“Any way I can help?” the scientist offered.

“Find Thor?” Steve suggested and checked on the food cooking in the oven. “Maybe get the other two?”

“Tony’s got those two. I’ll go find the big guy,” he stopped and then gestured toward himself and then the elevators. “The…other…big guy.”

“We knew what you meant,” Steve smiled at him reassuringly. Bruce took a breath and relaxed.

“They’ll need clothes,” Natasha said. “Clint never left so both of them only have what they wore yesterday.”

“I completely forgot!” he put a hand to his forehead and then nodded. “Okay, I’ll go get Thor and then grab them something.”

“I could do it,” Steve offered.

Bruce froze and stared at him with wide eyes. “No,” he said quickly, “no that’s alright. I’ll do it. I was the one who put them on lockdown I’ll be the one to,” he took a deep breath as he started fidgeting with his hands and the bottom of his shirt. “ _Please_ just let me do it.”

Steve looked at him confused. “Okay…?”

“Okay,” Banner turned and hurried off.

Natasha was halfway through slicing a cucumber before she realised what was wrong. She set her knife down and doubled over laughing.

“What? What is it?” Rogers asked her.

“I can’t!” she explained, tears in her eyes over the thought of the other three’s faces. Oh it was priceless!

\-------------------------------------------------

“Excuse me, Mr. Barton,”

“Clint!” he called back, correcting the computer as he shifted on the bed, extracting his limbs from around and under the god once more. Just as he had earlier in the day, Loki’s only response was to roll over with an undignified grumble and fall back to sleep. Barton looked down at him for a moment before rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

“Clint, sir. I have been asked to inform you both that dinner will be served within the hour, and that Mr. Laufeyson –”

“Odinson,”

“Mr. Odinson has been found physically fit to join in tonight’s meal.”

“Thanks,” he groaned as he rose from the bed slowly. Maybe rushing into such a strenuous and energetic physical activity had been a bad idea so soon in their recovery. His body felt heavy and his back was still horrifically stiff. He stretched, bones popping all around his skeleton, and looked down at the calm and sleeping deity, curled onto his side. His hair was in complete disarray; the sheet hanging dangerously low upon his waist; one long pale leg sticking out teasingly from under the covers; his face smooth; breathing even; body unguarded…

Nope. No regrets. He’d do it all over and then three times more afterward. Especially if they could have the time to rest like they had had today. It was wonderful to wake up unaware of where the hell he was. To look over to find Loki lying naked next to him, and then the memories of their pre-dawn activities rush to his mind…it was like the best morning after a fantastic one-night stand ever.

Lumbering towards bathroom he relieved himself quickly and this time, instead of going back and passing out again, he pulled back the plastic curtain and stepped into the shower. He turned it on freezing first, to help pep him up, as he grabbed the loofa and lathered his body. Twisting the nozzle to make it toasty, Clint leaned on his elbows against the wall. As he let his spine decompress and his muscles relax under the water, he watched the soap swirl around his feet and run toward the drain. The second he closed his eyes he felt a hand slide over his side and lips on his shoulder.

“Hello,” Loki’s deep voice purred in his ear. Barton shivered and turned, their mouths locking together; tongues moving out to eagerly taste.

Clint moaned and let the god press him into the white cold tiles, “Oh hello…”

“May I have you again?” he nibbled at the archer’s throat excitedly.

“I want to say yes…”

“Then say it,”

“Here,” he managed to push the loofa against Loki’s chest and restrained himself. “Another time. Dinner is soon and we’ve been upgraded to the big kids table.”

“Oh…dinner…” Loki looked down at the poofy sponge a little disappointed. The thought of being surrounded by all of Midgard’s heroes at the same time, instead of dealing with them in small doses as he had been, made his skin crawl and the walls seem to close in around him.

“Yeah,” Barton laughed scrubbed shampoo into his hair. “Crazy right? I didn’t think they’d let us sleep in so late…it was nice though right?” He rinsed his scalp, trying to ignore the way the trickster was eyeing him, as though he were a delicious treat set before a starving individual. Clint brushed past him and bent to get some conditioner, holding back his smirk as the god’s breath hitched slightly when their bodies barely touched. “Better hurry. We don’t want to be late or have them find us like this.”

Loki frowned at him as the archer ran his fingers and the clear gloopy stuff through his short brown hair quickly and dunked his head under the streaming water. The god began scrubbing himself as Clint washed the rest of the bathing soaps off of him. They traded places, Clint stepping out and grabbing a towel to dry himself off with, as Loki rinsed his body and began lathering his long tresses in shampoo.

Barton wiped a washcloth over the foggy mirror and looked his face over. As much as he hated doing it, he was going to have to shave today. He grabbed the shaving cream and rubbed it all over the lower half of his face, quickly washing his hands and then set about carefully dragging the razor across his flesh.

The god emerged from the shower just as he was finishing a stroke up the side of his throat. Loki flicked a hand, the droplets of water vaporising off of his skin as he smoothed his hair back and stepped toward the archer, swatting his butt playfully as he brushed past him and out into the room with a wicked smirk.

Clint watched his back in the mirror, shaking his head with a devious smile of his own. _Yeah…enjoy it now..._ he warned.

_Promise to punish me later?_

Barton swallowed and shook himself, focusing so as not to cut his face as he finished shaving. After rinsing the residue off he pressed the washcloth, he’d used on the mirror, to his mouth and throat as he emerged from the bathroom. He found the god already dressed in his suede and flaxen clothing, seated on the edge of the bed. His hair, thankfully, had been left to hang loosely around his shoulders.

“Bannerson left these for you,” he gestured to the pile of black to his left.

He frowned. “I didn’t hear a kno– Oh yeah!” he punched is fist in the air and hurriedly pulled the soft and familiar black jeans and long sleeve shirt up to look at. Free at last! Bless Natasha and Bruce! He could have kissed them!

“Shame,” Loki grumbled from his spot on the bed as he watched Clint finish towelling off and dress.

“What is?”

“You being forced to wear clothes.” He sighed dissatisfied, “such a waste…hiding the artfully aesthetic and sexually pleasing sight of you…”

Barton laughed and rolled his eyes as he pulled socks on over his feet and looked for the shoes he’d left by the door. “Don’t you want regular clothes? Just in case you can’t hold the spell over your body?” he asked picking them up and leaned against the wall as he pushed his feet into the worn converse. “I’d hate for you to suddenly be naked at the table. Pepper might faint.”

The god’s mouth twisted, he had forgotten the man of iron’s female companion was due that evening. “I appreciate your concern, however I am perfectly fine,” he stood, green light morphing around his feet and calves to present soft black leather boots. “If something were to happen, the magic would fade and I would be left in nothing more than the grey baggy outfit Bannerson gave me. I find it unflattering and not suitable for table wear.”

“Fair enough,” he shrugged, quickly lacing his shoes. Clint adjusted his sleeves and held out his hand. “Ready?”

Loki lifted his chin and nodded sharply once, letting his fingers lace with Clint’s and walked with careful steps. Unease simmered in his chest the further down the hall they went. Looking back over his shoulder he sighed, desperately missing the safety of the room.

\-------------------------------------------------

Thor had just finished setting the last place at the table when something occurred to him. He looked up and around until he saw Steve entre the room. “Captain Rogers?”

“Yes Thor?”

“There are eight plates, but there are only five of us normally to dinner. Are we expecting more company outside of the Lady Potts?”

“Loki and Clint are joining us this evening,” Banner answered, his face still slightly red, as he entered with two handfuls of silverware and napkins.

“Loki is well enough to join us?” Thor became as excited as a child, who had been promised sweets before dinner. Bruce nodded and handed some utensils over to Thor, who carefully set them down in the same way as the scientist was. Steve left to add the final touches to the pot roast he’d been working on all day.

Tony swaggered in covered from head to toe in grease sweat and dirt. He flopped down into his usual spot at the head of the table. “What are we having?” Stark asked unfolding the cloth napkin with a flare and wiped his face off.

“Food,” Bruce replied going around switching the knives and spoons behind the god, pointing out the correction. Thor studied it for a second and set the last two places correctly.

“Mmm,” he sighed pretending to be thrilled. “My favourite. Is it the kind you can eat?”

“No I think it’s the kind you only look at and then throw out when you’ve had your fill.” He patted Thor’s arm and complimented, “Good job.”

“Many thanks.”

“Shame, I rather like the kind you can throw at people,” Tony complained and scratched his head.

Natasha entered carrying a large bowl of salad and several bottles of dressing. She placed her cargo down on the table and spotted the billionaire’s state, doing a double take. Snorting unhappily, she pointed toward the far door, “Wash up! You know better than to come to dinner looking like you’ve just lost a fight to a woman.”

“But mom!” he whined, and then hurried toward the door as Romanoff took a step at him in warning. She smiled satisfied and looked at Bruce. Natasha put a hand to her mouth, trying to withhold another fit of giggles as she left to help Steve bring the last few dishes.

Bruce’s face heated up as he looked down at his hands and then back at Thor who was also inspecting his mighty paws. “I washed mine before,” he raised them, flexing his fingers and Thor nodded doing the same.

“As did I.” he confirmed as Clint and Loki walked in. Before he could stop himself he burst out, “BROTHER!”

“Oh uskit’r,” Loki sighed restraining himself from punching the other god in the face.

Thor rushed to him, stopping suddenly as he remembered yesterday’s encounter and how unpleasant that had gone. _Actions, not words,_ he reminded himself. He pulled back the rushing wave of his emotions and held out his hand, steadying his voice into calm happiness instead. “I am glad you are well enough to join us.”

Loki relaxed a bit taken aback. Without thinking he clasped his forearm in the proper equal to equal Asgardian greeting. He had expected to be snatched into either a bone crushing hug or find Mjölnir in his face. He was certain Thor had to have been furious with him for what he had said.

_“I’ll always be there with you when it rains.”_

_He swallowed and nodded his head, accepting his greeting and offered him a small forced smile. That was a mistake. Thor pulled him forward and embraced him, crushing all of the air from his lungs and filling it with his familiar warmth and smell that assaulted Loki’s senses._

“Loki, such language…” he scolded gently, a bit shocked that he would dare utter such a word at a dining hall.

“Thor,” Bruce warned going over to them. “Don’t break him, he’s still healing.”

“I apologise,” he let the trickster go, keeping his hand upon Loki’s shoulder as he stumbled slightly and smoothed his rumpled clothing out mildly offended.

“Is this clean enough?” Tony asked walking through the doorway, the mess he was covered in still somewhat visible, having soaked into his skin.

“It’ll have to be,” Banner shrugged.

Thor ushered Loki and Clint toward the table happily and practically tossed them into their seats. “Here is where you will sit Clint, and here is where Loki will sit.”

Loki glared up at him as he was forcefully shoved into the chair, “I refuse to be seated next to thee.”

“But you have always sat on my right,” Thor frowned confused.

Clint put his hand on the god’s thigh to stop him from saying something out of anger and regretting it later. “How about we leave it this way for tonight and then think about how we’ll fit in at the dinner table later?”

“An excellent idea!” Tony sat in his chair just as Steve entered carrying the pot roast followed by Natasha balancing two large casserole dishes in both hands.

“Here we are,” Steve said proudly setting the dish down gently on the hot pad at the centre of the table.

Natasha looked around as she set the steaming green beans, covered in fried crispy onions, and the cranberry gingered carrots next to the salad bowl. “Tony?” she inquired, her tone was light with just a small edge to it.

“Yes ma’am?”

“Why are there only seven people at this table?”

He frowned, doing a quick count of the room, before slowly answering, “Because there are only seven of us here…?”

“Now how many places are set?”

“Eight…”

“And how is Pepper supposed to eat with us tonight if you forget to –”

His eyes grew wide and he sprung from his chair. “PEPPER! I have to pick her up! I’ll be back in fifteen, start without us!” he called over his shoulder as he raced from the room, pushing buttons on his watch to activate a suit to meet him on the roof.

“Well then,” Steve sighed and then looked around. “While I’m up, is there anything I can get anyone to drink?”

“A whiskey?” Clint asked leaning forward on his elbows.

“No,” everyone but Thor chorused.

“Well damn!” he held his hands up taken aback.

“Loki and you can only have juice or water. Anything else will react negatively to the medicines you have been taking.” Banner explained and stood to address Steve. “I’ll help you get them; I believe water might be the best choice for everyone tonight.” Rogers nodded and the two of them headed off toward the kitchen.

Natasha leaned down next to Clint, “How was your day off?”

“Fine,” he replied.

She looked at him with a frown before whispering, “I’ve got a bottle of GlenDronach I fletched off Tony a few days ago. I’ll share it for a price.”

“What age?” he whispered back. Loki glanced over at them and then looked at his empty plate.

“Fifteen year revival,”

Clint inhaled sharply, “Tonight?”

She shook her head, “I’ve got a date.”

Barton laughed and tickled under her chin. “I’ve got a date,” he mocked with a smile.

She slapped is hand away and then knocked him upside the head. Loki tensed next to him. “Keep it up. I won’t share.”

“Oh you’ll share,” he insisted rubbing the spot she’s just abused and set a hand over the god’s clinched fist, sending him a calming sensation along the bond to tell him it was alright. “I know what’s on your mind.”

“Well then I guess I don’t need to share,” she shrugged ready to turn.

“Well then I guess I’ll just get my own myself,”

“Good stuff is in the back, use your smallest lock pick, and best to do it in the early hours.”

“Do what?” Steve asked re-entering the room carrying four glasses carefully between his two hands, fingers wrapped around them to keep them secure.

“Nothing,” the two assassins replied innocently.

“What’s best done in the early hours?” Banner added right behind the soldier, not falling for their bullshit tone.

“Sex,”

“Leaving the mansion,” Natasha stopped and stared down at Clint, her face screaming for him to keep his mouth shut so that she could get them out of this mess.

The soldier blushed setting the glasses on the table and began setting one at each seat. “Oh…” he cleared his throat.

“Both are honest answers,” Thor reasoned. Loki glanced at him and rolled his eyes. He could be so thick sometimes. It wasn’t as though the two had been trying hard to keep their conversation level down.

“I don’t think –” Banner began, looking over his glasses at them, his tone said he was about to give out a very paternal and well-rehearsed lecture, despite how red his face had become.

“I had asked how one could leave the palace,” Loki spoke up, the lie falling smoothly from his mouth. “I wanted to see the city and…Natasha,” he gestured to her, carefully saying her name, “was explaining the best way.”

“Yes,” she nodded, her years of secrets and skills in lying surfacing as she went to stand by her seat. Banner looked her over and then at the other two.

“I was just being a dick and saying things,” Clint explained with a shrug when his gaze had lingered upon him questioningly. “I’m actually offensive.”

“It’s true,” Loki, Steve, and Natasha chorused with a sigh, all three of them having first-hand experience.

“Wow, okay guys…” he widened his eyes pretending to be offended and shifted in his seat.

“Should we serve the salad while we wait?” Steve asked looking at the clock and then back at the table.

“Yes,” Natasha picked up the salad tongs, holding out her other hand for a bowl.

They passed the dishes around for her to fill and then the dressings to each other. Loki dropped a bit onto his finger and sampled each until he found one that wasn’t too horrid: a zesty Italian with a giant smiling mushroom on the front of the glass bottle, stating the benefits of adding it to his leafy dish.

Thor smothered his greens in something white with black specks and began shovelling the sopping mess into his mouth. Loki grimaced watching him a few moments and then picked up his fork and politely ate the way he had been instructed too. The way a prince should, with dignity, grace, and elegance. Not as an animal. Normally he would have said something; however, he found he hadn’t the heart to voice such a thing at the table. Not with so many unfamiliar persons around.

“Thor, don’t eat like a pig,” Natasha chided glaring at him from across the way.

He nodded, whipping his face of the access dressing, and slowed his speed down; now taking time to chew his food and swallow it fully before taking another giant mouthful.

Her eyes met Loki’s and she gave an understanding small nod in his direction. He returned the gesture and continued to pick at the strange vegetables among the familiar pieces of lettuce and tomatoes.

“How much do you want to bet he took a suit and not a car?” Banner mused to himself suddenly as he realised the meeting point was an hour away. By car it would have taken him more than fifteen minutes to get to and from; with the suit, however, it would be about twenty.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *All things about the tulips are true.  
> * ~~I don't honestly know if movie Foster has her doctorates or not, because in the comics she's supposed to be a nurse/ medical doctor. If someone knows the answer for that I'll be eternally grateful, because I searched all over the internet, asked others to help, and even went back and watched the movies but there was never a mention.~~ She has a doctorates in the MCU. Thor 2 confirmed this.  
>  *uskit’r = I googled this. It's apparently Old Norse for "shit".


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright I'm going to start this off with - HOLY SHIT IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THOR 2 GET TISSUES AND PREPARE YOURSELF! THERE IS NO WAY TO GET OUT OF THE TEARS! Sorry if you thought that was a spoiler, I only want to warn others because no one warned me and I gross sobbed in the theatre with nothing but my sweater sleeve and it's...well they don't call it "gross sobbing" for nothing.
> 
> Second, I immediately edited this after I came home, so if there is anything wrong with it (grammar issues, spelling, something that doesn't make sense), it was because I've got some feels. I just...I needed something to try and help me.
> 
> And it was confirmed in Thor 2 that Jane has her doctorate, so I'll be changing that now. Sorry if you thought was a spoiler too! I just have no one to get these feels sorted out with so I'm like .... anyone? No? Okay...I'll keep my tumblr box opened...someone must need someone to talk too...okay I'm going to keep crying now. Please enjoy the chapter and your life.

\----------------------22----------------------

“ANTHONY!” she screamed as they landed rather suddenly on the platform jutting out from the side of the mansion.

“See Pepper?” his faceplate slid up to reveal his pleased smile as the mechanical ring came out and began taking his suit pieces off. “No worries, I told you I could get us here in one piece before the food turned cold.”

She glared at him, running her hand through her crazy windblown hair and snatched her bags from his grip before storming past him and into the building.

He huffed, ego bruised, and called after her. “Pepper. Pepper! We need to talk! Hey!” Tony caught up with her, putting himself in between her and the elevator as the doors slid opened. “Hey listen up.”

“Not now Tony. Sex can wait,” she rolled her eyes not in the mood and attempted to push past him. “My stomach can’t take much more excitement right now. I’ll be lucky if I can eat.”

He held firm. “No not _that_! I need to tell you something else.”

“Like what?” she sighed exasperated before giving up and crossed her arms over her chest.

“One: you look lovely. Two: Loki and Clint are married. Three: dessert is chocolate ice cream on me. Literally,” He rushed the words out and kissed her forehead, stepping inside the elevator and pushed the button to go down.

Her eyes widened. “WHAT!?”

“What?” he shook himself pretending to be shocked and gasped, “I know! I didn’t think you could get lovelier, and here you are before me!” he gestured with his hands as the doors began to close.

“What a minute!” she snapped out of it and pushed them opened, charging at him with her terrifying no-monkey-business look. “What do you mean Loki and Clint are married!?”

“Well not yet, but technically. According to Asgardian Laws, or whatever, they are. Also, did you cut your hair? It looks nice,” he added touching her bangs affectionately.

“Stop!” she slapped his hand away, her mind a whirl of confusing thoughts. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I did.”

“When!?”

“When I told you I was going to kidnap stuff from Fury and save friends.”

“You said _stuff_ , not _people_!”

“I didn’t kidnap Clint and Loki,” he rolled his eyes as if that were blatantly obvious. “I kidnaped records, a few weapons, and some personal files; they were the people I saved.” He smiled and puffed out his chest. “You should be proud of me.”

Pepper gave him one good backhand near his ARC Reactor that made him loose his breath. “ _Proud_? You want me to be _proud_ that you sprung a war criminal free and let him marry the man he kidnaped when he was trying to take over the world!?”

“Pepper. Pepper I need you to calm down.”

“How can I be calm!? I’ve been covering for you and you’ve been hiding a war criminal somewhere!”

“He’s good now,” Stark gave her a playful frowny face.

“Pouting will not work in this. He tried to kill you!” she slapped his arms a few times angrily.

“Ow! Ow! Ow! OW! PEPPER!” he got around to the control panel and punched in the code to make the lift halt. “Pepper! Stop! Listen!” he grabbed her hands and tried to kiss them, barely missing her punches, and opted instead to hold her close to him to keep her still long enough to explain. “Listen for a second. He was under the same mind control thingy Clint was under. He’s been subjected to torture and almost died trying to keep Clint safe while we worked out a way to get them out of Fury’s hands. He hasn’t done anything yet to pull up a red flag.”

“That’s just it, he hasn’t done anything _yet_!”

“Well Barton said he can’t attack us unless we attack him first or put Clint’s life in danger.”

“Well I don’t care what Barton says, how do you know they both aren’t pretending and under the magically ice cube’s control again?”

“Because the cube was sent back to Asgard a while ago.” Pepper stopped struggling then and glared at him, telling him he had her attention and that she wasn’t happy about it. “We sent the cube back with Thor several months ago. Remember? Right before I made upgrades to Rhodey’s suit and we went off to Asia –”

“You went to Asia with Rhodes!?”

“Which means he didn’t snitch and he’s been promoted to best friend,”

“He’s your only friend.”

“Not true. Happy is –”

“Your driver. You don’t take him anywhere unless you need someone to cover your ass in a fight if you don’t have your suit.”

“Bruce is,” he said defensively.

“Well I’m glad you’re finally learning how to play fairly. Now let me go!” she hissed pulling on his grip.

“No you have to listen still! When the cube left Loki’s demeanour changed. Fury had a hard time getting him to talk, were as before he was so eager to volunteer information.” She looked away, rolling all of this new information over in her mind. Tony sighed and moved his hands to her waste, bringing his face in closer to hers and whispered. “Look, I know you’re upset with him. We all are in the same boat, and tonight is going to be super tricky because it’s his first night out of the med–”

“He’s here!?” She jerked her face away appalled.

“Yes, and he has already apologised for the things he has done and promised to help clean up the mess.” She rolled her eyes, making him super frustrated with how their conversation had turned out. “I’m not asking much from you.”

“Oh you’re not?”

“Not as much as I have before. Just listen still…he almost died.”

“Good!”

Tony flinched. “Don’t say that…” he begged softly. “Don’t…belittle him because of…” he sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. “We’re all walking on pins and needles, I’m just asking for you to eat with us, see that he’s not the devil, and _please_ continue to not tell anyone that he is here.”

“The plan,” Pepper sighed heavily. “That was why you had that _stupid_ plan you’ve been sticking too. It was to give everyone…time…”

“Yeah,” he nodded. “He was really sick Pep. It was bad…”

“Okay,” she whispered rubbing her temples, still not pleased, but not ever one to be unreasonable. “I’ll…I’ll be civil and try not to spoil dinner.”

Stark smiled and kissed her forehead, pulling her into a big hug. “Oh you’re the best!” he kissed the top of her head several times as he rocked her back and forth.

“Yeah, yeah,” she muttered and pushed away from him a bit. “Now push the button already, I’m starving and I’m exhausted.”

“Yes, ma’am!” he let go of her to salute and punch in the code, reactivating the elevator.

\-------------------------------------------------

Steve had just finished filling everyone’s plates with the main course when Banner turned and spotted Pepper looking around nervously. He reasoned her frazzled state was from being whisked through the air at breath-taking speeds; however, that was until her gaze landed on Loki and she flinched. He frowned and looked at Tony who averted his eyes, face slightly guilty.

The two gods had stood respectfully and bowed their heads politely when they had seen her exit the lift. They remained as they were, waiting for her to be seated before they too could sit again.

Steve gave Banner a look and they both nodded. Pepper was uncomfortable not because of Stark’s unexpected means of travel, but because of the god of mischief, and Tony hadn’t kept his word and told her beforehand. Great, dinner was going to be lovely.

They looked around the table and realised no matter where they set people up she was still going to be uncomfortably close to him. Natasha returned from the kitchen with a basket of rolls they had forgotten in the earlier chaos, setting it in between the two gods on her way to her seat down at the far end, and instantly noticed the tension in the air.

The C.E.O. of Stark Industries hesitated, but with Tony’s gentle encouragement and Banner’s kind presence next to her, she relaxed into her chair across from Thor, and Stark took up his seat at the head.

“See, now this is nice, everyone is here,” he smiled and rubbed his hands nervously. “So I’m starving, and so is Pep. Let’s get these dishes passing, alright?”

There was a mass of exchanging plates, ladling, and small conversation. Everything was going smoothly until Loki rose, taking up the basket of bread, and held it out. It was a polite Asgardian custom his mother had assigned for him repeatedly, mainly to make amends and as a humble action of apology to her ladies; for they were often the targets, mostly accidental, for his mischievous pranks.

The women were always served bread first at the tables. It was in thanks for their time and skills in caring for the house while the men were out hunting. Even if almost all of the Asgardian royals did not hunt for their own meal, relying upon the lesser Aesir lines, the Vanir or those whom had given themselves in service to them, tradition still demanded certain things: the head male served the main meat of the table; a male of the house served the bread to the women; the wife sat upon the left and closer to her husband; the eldest to the right, with the next in line remaining upon his right, unless an honoured guest was present; and publicly accepted couples or family members shared plates.

Being the lady to the man who owned the dwelling, it was only fair and rightfully so, that Loki offered the rolls to Pepper first. Traditions were hard to break in Asgard, just the same for habits one had been practicing for several hundred centuries. He waited patiently, bent across the thin table with his head slightly inclined.

She froze, eyeing him with a mixed look of bitterness and mild alarm. She turned her gaze away, muttering quietly about not wanting any and shifted slightly in her chair away from him.

The god felt the familiar coil of self-hatred rush along his veins at her reaction. He stiffened afraid to move, for doing so would not only offend her but also Stark. To refuse to share bread was an insult to all of the others at the table. If he moved it would mean he was helping her offend everyone else, and that was something he held no intention of doing. Thor sensed his brother’s unease, and knew he could do nothing except for catch Banner’s eye, sending him a pleading look, and then barely nod his head to the basket.

“I’ll take that,” Bruce said with a smile and lifted the burden from the downcast looking mage. Thankfully he and Thor had had several talks of Asgardian customs and the sharing of bread had been one the god stressed the most upon.

Loki nodded his head in appreciation, retaking his seat, and decided to forgo any other means of initiated interaction with the others for the rest of the meal. Clint reached his left pinkie out and entwined it with the god’s for a brief moment, giving him a slanted smile of encouragement before turning back to his meal and the questions being discussed by the others.

“So what does the outside world think of our little Houdini act?” Banner asked Pepper as a means to distract her from her apparent unease.

She rolled her eyes and glared at Tony, “it’s a disaster.”

“Sorry,” the two master planners shyly apologised before she went on.

“I can’t say that you are dead, only explain to the media and military that you went off on a mission and haven’t returned yet. No signs of foul play, so they leave it alone for a few days; but Fury is breathing down my neck trying to get an answer out of me. He’s been piecing together the mess you left for him to follow. They have teams set up around. One of them is very close to the place Happy picked you up at.

“That farm?” Steve asked.

“Yes. My person informed me that they have been stationed there for the time being.”

“Who is your informant?” Tony demanded; his voice was light yet his face hard. He didn’t like being unaware of things. He hated when Pepper kept secrets.

“Don’t worry. My people are good at what they do, and the less _you_ know, the easier it will be to keep them there.”

He shrugged pretending it didn’t bother him, even if it was slowly eating him up. “Fine. I’ll figure it out eventually.”

She gave him a ‘ _don’t-push-it_ ’ look. “S.H.I.E.L.D. hacked into your company files several days ago. Thankfully I was able to deactivate everything in Malibu so they couldn’t trace our calls to here. I’ve been on the phone with someone almost every other day asking: why are the lights in the mansion going off and on? Why was there food being shipped there? Why is there still construction happening? Why, why, why?” She took a deep breath and softened her voice, “It’s driving me crazy.”

“Well at least your intelligent and quick thinking brain has given us a few more days,” he leaned in as if to kiss her.

She pushed his face away. “I’m not done being mad at you.”

“I’m sorry we have caused you so much trouble,” Bruce steered the conversation back to a semi-safe place.

Pepper sighed, “I understand sometimes you just need a break, and I know Fury can be…Fury, but…” she stopped and shook her head, her heart clinching painfully. “I’m just glad you are all actually alright. I couldn’t bear…” she stopped, biting her lip a bit and decided to take another taste of her meal instead of finishing her sentence.

“All of this will be over soon,” Tony promised.

She shook her head and looked at him, “Tony, things are only going to get worse. They always do.”

“Never fear, Lady Pepper,” Thor spoke up and put a hand to his heart. “I made a vow to protect this realm. I, as well as everyone else at this table, all agree and will honour it.”

Pepper’s gaze landed upon Loki, who was keeping to himself and trying not to draw attention to his apparent unease at being around them all. He was moving carrot bits around his plate slowly, taking a small bite every so often when the archer leaned into him a little. She looked back at the thunder god and nodded her head. “Thank you…”

“I think the thanks should go to you,” Banner said. “I think you deserve a long vacation after all of this.”

“Oh trust me,” she said giving the genius, currently stuffing his face as though he hadn’t eaten in weeks, a mild look of detest upon her face. “I _will_ get one.”

Tony looked up at her innocently, swallowing his food down with growing worry over her gaze upon him. He was in trouble. And from the sound of her voice and the look in her eye, this was not something he could fix easily. Damn…he should have given her the flowers first.

“The food is delicious by the way Steven,” Pepper called down to him.

“I couldn’t have finished it without Natasha,”

“Compliments to you both,” she smiled at each of them.

Their dinner conversation branched off into training discussions, updates about Stark Industries, and Thor’s immense interest in the cranberries, and whether or not if poptarts could be made with the “shrunken beads”.

After everyone had eaten their fill, the table had been cleared, and leftovers put away, everyone moved into the main living room. Everyone except for Loki, that was. He hung back within the kitchen and studied the contraption that some of the dishes had been set into. It seemed simple enough, and from what he could remember during his Tesseract revenge haze about plumbing on Midgard, as well as the crash course Banner and Clint had offered him the other day, he was fairly confident he could work it in order to complete the task he was willingly bestowing upon himself.

It didn’t look much different than the washing areas they had on Asgard.

Rolling his sleeves up, he began looking for a cloth and some sort of soap. He set aside a few of the plates and spotted a container claiming to have some sort of magic liquefied blue soap which would kill germs and cut grease. He snorted, _what a silly thing. One cannot cut grease. It doesn’t bleed._ As to whatever the ‘germs’ the bottle was referring too were he hadn’t a clue, but he reasoned that if the heroes of this realm had decided they needed to be killed, then he would do his best at seeing to their demise.

Pouring a small amount of the blue liquid onto a green cloth he’d found, he turned the handles upon the sink until he had the desired heat of water he wished for, and set about scrubbing the white and black plates clean. He rinsed and put them into the black painted metal wrack, which stood above a tray angled forward slightly to let the water the dishes dripped run back into the main basin.

After several plates he sensed someone standing in the doorway. He froze, glancing over and found Steve.

“Hello,” the soldier nodded with shy uncertainty.

“Greetings,” he replied softly.

Steve pointed to a glass in his hand. “Can I put it in the sink or would you rather it be saved for tomorrow?”

“I do not mind cleaning it, if that is what you are asking.”

“Okay,” he walked over and set it down on the counter next where the god was working. “You know we have a dishwasher, right?”

“I do not believe I know who that is.”

“It’s not a ‘who’ it’s a thing. You rinse the dishes off, kind of, stick it in this thing here,” he pulled opened the door on a steel and black contraption to the left of the sink. “Once it’s filled, you put the wash-box-powdery stuff here, close it, push the settings you want, and leave it until it is done.”

“Clever little realm to find such dependence upon machines to ease their mundane lives.” Loki mused to himself as he picked up and rinsed the glass Rogers had just set down. “I thank you for showing me this…washer; however, I feel it is best if I stayed out of the way and did these by hand. It will…give me time to think things over, and time for you to enjoy Lady Stark’s company.”

“Are you sure?”

Loki was mildly annoyed at how sincere the soldier’s words sounded. He had to remind himself that this particular mortal always favoured speaking the truth and he could not find which was more infuriating: being told the truth or finding someone that actually cared. He nodded stiffly instead; biting the cruel retort back that crept up his throat. Being rude would not do, especially to someone who had been overly decent to him thus far.

“Okay, well, if you need anything –”

“I will call for assistance,”

Steve nodded and headed back towards the rest of the group. He stopped at the archway to add, “When you’re done, you can still join us. All we’re doing is playing a game. It is in teams, so Clint will need a partner.”

“I will consider it. Thank you.”

The soldier nodded understandingly, knowing the feeling of needing to be alone with one’s thoughts. He went into the other room to give him peace.

“Where did Prancer run off too?” Tony asked as he helped set the _Clue_ game board on the coffee table.

“He’s doing the dishes,”

“He’s what?” Everyone asked accept for Thor, who seemed to be unconcerned with his brother’s behaviour.

“It’s just as I said,” Steve seemed confused over their reaction. “He said he wanted to do them.”

“What for?” Natasha frowned, a little suspicious.

“Isn’t he a prince? Don’t servants do that thing for you?” Tony asked, turning to Thor.

“Oh no, Loki and I are very familiar with having to do service work around Asgard. Dish washing was mother’s favoured punishment.”

“Why is he punishing himself then?”

“Haven’t you all ever needed time to think?” Steve said with a small sigh. “You do something that doesn’t require a ton of thought so you can work things through, right?”

“I normally drink,” Stark muttered, earning him a sharp jab in the ribs by Pepper.

“The point is, he’s fine, let’s leave him be, and I call blue piece.”

“Purple,” Clint raised his hand for Tasha to toss it to him.

“RED!” Banner and Thor shouted.

“No, that’s _my_ colour!” Tony interjected possessively.

“Not when you’re playing with Pepper. Your team colour is yellow,” Bruce reminded him and handed over the small yellow piece as well as the cards Natasha was dealing out. Tony huffed, but one look at Pepper and he was smiling and relaxing into the couch next to her all suave and boyfriendly.

“Roll to see who goes first,” Natasha handed Banner the dice and they took turns rolling. Banner: 5; Clint: 3; Steve: 6; Tony: 1.

“I hate this game,” Tony muttered as they began moving the pieces to their correct starting spot and Steve’s next roll began the game.

\-------------------------------------------------

It had been a long time since Loki had been a part of a game. Any sort: cards; stones; King’s battle; chalk-hop; rope skipping; horse riding; hunting; running; hand-to-hand combat – anything. For most of them he had always been an add-on; an afterthought by Thor to try and make him feel included or as a request from their mother to get him out of his rooms for a while.

He used to play stones and cards with his mother and her ladies; however the closer to maturity he grew the more he disliked the way some of them stared at him. It was as though he where a succulent piece of meat and they were famished wild wolves. It also seemed the older he grew the stupider they became. He had suffered as long as he could, mainly to have the opportunity to spend time with his mother, until he could no longer bear it and stopped accepting invitations to her rooms when he knew they would be about.

After he gave that up he had been enticed into playing King’s battle. He had always played the game with his tutors, yet they were easy to defeat and boring in conversation, leaving him to abstain from playing until his grandfather’s foster daughter had been permanently invited to stay at court.

Her name was Sigyn and she was the only one he had ever found who could match him equally in games, wits, and jokes. In fact most of his greatest pranks had started from her. She laughed instead of running in fear from his tricks; spoke with him of her own choosing; dealt with his temper when he didn’t want her around; and wrote to him whenever one of them left court. Her favourite games to play were truth and lie or ones that involved riddles. If she caught him in a lie or solved his riddle in under a certain number of questions, he was forced to do whatever dare she could come up with. Some of them were rather horrible.

He smiled, stifling back a small chuckle, as he remembered the ones they played on Thor’s friends, mainly Sif. Oh she had been so tremendously cross over some of them! The worst had been her hair. It had filled his heart, at the time, with guilt at the sight of her sitting there sobbing and pulling at her almost bald head, but the look of victory upon Sigyn’s face turned that sour achievement into joy. Looking back now he realised he still felt horrible for what he had done, and didn’t hold it against the female warrior for her sharp words and open hostility toward him. He reasoned that if it hadn’t been for his desperate eagerness to please and keep Sigyn around he would have apologised and mended his transgression immediately.

Loki put those regrets from his mind and continued to think of what other sort of games he had found amusing after such childish tricks had become dull. Bed sport, was one he found highly entertaining. He could work it alone and with others to a great deal of success. He preferred playing with others because their reactions were real; something his fabricated magical copies could never fully manipulate, no matter how hard he tried giving them personality. Male and female he played with alike, and even gave into a few of his mother’s ladies and father’s guards during his darker time. As flat as they could be conversation wise they were really experts and very creative behind closed doors.

Hunting was another thing he was good at. The silence of a morning; creeping through the misty woods; following old tracks; chasing after a beast; the metallic smell of blood; soft earth covering his body – it was thrilling. He hadn’t found anything more exhilarating than a good hunt followed by a heated roll through the grass. He generally went hunting alone and took pleasure in his own body with magic, yet during his days of self-destruction, he often rutted with Hogun when he was invited to hunt with Thor and his companions. The warrior may have had the facial capacity of a stone, yet once provoked for bedding was a very insatiable and vocal partner. He was decent enough yet never desired to trade away the dominant role, which was a very selfish thing Loki did not particularly enjoy about him.

The mage paused his actions as a question struck him. How long had he been lost in the darkness on the edges of the universe? No one had given him that answer. Then again, he had never really asked… It felt as though he had been gone for forever. It must have been.

He shivered and pushed the thought from his mind. The darkness was stirring again and it was making his skin crawl uncomfortably.

A loud cry followed by a roar of laughter bursting from the other room startled him for a moment. He took a deep breath trying to calm his rapidly beating heart and stared at the now almost empty sink. There were only two more cups and a small plate left. What would he do? Go back to his room and quietly sit alone or try to fit in with the newly formed, but firmly established, band of heroes? He supposed he could just stand there for a while more and pretend to finish off the dishes. He had never been good at making friends, but Clint was out there and he had promised he would be civil and try.

Sighing, he gave in and quickly finished up. Wiping his reddened hands on a towel, he took a moment to calm and prepare himself for the encounters yet to come, and went to stand at the entrance way, watching them.

Tony and Pepper were seated close and relaxing together on the couch. It was apparent that they were enjoying each other more than the game, yet seemed not to mind being shyly intimate before others, such in the way Tony kissed her hand which made the redhead smile and laugh at whatever he was saying to her. Natasha had an arm resting upon Steve’s knee and his free hand on her lower back, both sitting forward on the loveseat to the side. It was obvious, to one not familiar with the group that they were now together, yet unified in their focus on winning more than socialising. Banner and Thor had their heads together, seriously deciding something which seemed very important, and Clint was seated on the floor marking off something on a sheet.

The sight of him made the god’s heart flutter for a second. His tongue was stuck out to the side of his mouth and his face was screwed up in concentration as he tapped the pencil against his chin. The image was broken, after a few seconds, for he seemed to sense the trickster’s presence and turned to him, motioning him over. Loki hesitated for a second before going to sit down, not missing the moment when Pepper stiffened and sat up on the couch slightly alert.

“I think we’re second in the lead,” Clint said scooting closer to him.

“In the lead for?”

“ _Clue_ ,” he smiled and then went on to explain the dynamics of the board game. It seemed a rather interesting yet simple puzzle to Loki. They had to guess who the murderer was and what device he or she used to kill the ‘x’ on the stair case.

“And the room it happened in.”

“Room?” he raised an eyebrow.

“Yes,” Clint pointed to the rooms of the mansion. “You enter a room, make a suggestion, ‘this room with this person and this weapon’, and the team to the left has to show you one of the things you suggest. If they don’t have any of it, the next team has too, and so on. If no one has any of the things you suggest, then that was the answer, and the next person can make an accusation and win the game. If they are wrong, they cannot make another accusation. They just sit out and show people cards when asked.”

“Not too complicated,”

“Nope.”

“What do we have so far?”

“Well there are eight of us, four teams, and twenty-one cards, minus the three in the envelope; split up, each team gets four plus the two random ones for everyone to share: the ballroom and Professor Plum.”

“Which is us?”

“Yes so we didn’t do it.” Clint fanned out the four cards and showed them too him. “These are ours, and I’ve gotten a few more from the group.”

Loki saw they had the Kitchen, Library, Rope, and Mr. Green. On the sheet: Billiards (N), Pipe (P), Mrs. White (T), and Lounge (P). He pointed to the circled letters next to it and raised an eyebrow; Clint held up his finger and rolled the dice, moving three spaces before entering a room: the conservatory.

“I suggest it was Mrs. Peacock, in the Conservatory, with the wrench.”

“Point the finger at us and expect me to be honest and give you a clue,” Natasha muttered and then leaned over to show Clint a card before tucking it back into her tank top for safe keeping. Clint marked off ‘Conservatory (N)’ and Loki put two and two together. He was keeping track of who was giving him clues in case they came up again and could figure who had shown all four cards or was still hiding some. He smiled. His little Hawk was very clever.

Tony picked up the dice and tossed the six-sided piece down: one. “Dammit,”

“Let me roll from now on,” Pepper patted his arm and moved the piece one square forward.

It went on for a while longer, everyone making jabs at each other and from a few more carefully listened to suggestions, Loki and Clint were confident they had the solution. There was only one problem: no one had shown them a Colonel Mustard or Mrs. Peacock card.

It was their turn; suggest or accuse?

Clint looked at Loki. _What do you want to do?_

Loki crossed his left arm over his chest to support his right arm as he set his hand to his chin. He traced his lips with his long fingers as he thought for several moments. _Accuse,_ he finally decided.

_You sure?_

_Yes._

_Who?_

_Mustard._

“What?” he snapped glaring at the god.

“Hey! That’s cheating!” Banner pointed between the two of them. “No mental thingies. Talk it out like we do. It’s only fair.”

“What?” Pepper jumped anxiously. Tony leaned in to explain in a whisper what Banner had meant. She paled for a second before nodding her head and avoided speaking further upon the matter.

“Fine,” Barton sighed and pulled the god close, turning away from them all slightly, so they could whisper to each other. “You sure?”

“Very,”

He eyed him warily. “You didn’t cheat did you?”

Loki rolled his eyes and then raised his voice, moving away from the archer, “I am many things Clinton, but a cheater is not one of them. You asked me and I am giving you my educated guess.”

Barton sighed defeated, putting their cards and detective sheet face down on the table before announcing, “We shall accuse. It was in the dining room, the dagger was the weapon, and the murder was…Colonel Mustard.”

“Now that’s rude! We’ve showed you all of our cards when you asked!” Tony huffed. It was very apparent he was a sore loser and lost often.

“All but one dear and we’re yellow, remember?” Pepper whispered and pointed out a card.

“Dammit,” he muttered and leaned back into the couch.

Clint leaned forward and opened the envelope, bring the three cards out for him and Loki to see, before they both smiled and set them out on the table.

“Twenty-five to life sir!” Tasha swiped up the stubby yellow piece and chucked it in the box.

Stark looked pathetically at Pepper. “At least we have each other.”

“I’m playing with Bruce next game,” she joked and scooted closer to the gamma-radiation specialist.

“Dammit,”

“Nice win,” Steve held out his hand to give the victors a congratulatory shake as he went around and picked up the cards.

“Thanks,” Clint beamed proudly.

“Thank you,” Loki bowed his head graciously after a second of hesitating at the physical contact required for such a gesture.

“Another round or something else?” the soldier asked shuffling.

“ _Monopoly_?” Tony suggested.

Everyone but Loki shouted, “NO!” at him.

He sunk into the couch offended. “Well damn!”

“A card game?” Thor offered.

“ _Bitch Rummy_.” Clint agreed.

“No, Clint always wins.” Natasha shook her head.

“Not always,” he muttered a bit put-out.

“ _Life_?” Bruce asked.

“It sucks!” Barton and Natasha laughed at their own private joke.

“Tasha and I just bought _Candy Land_ ,” Steve offered gathering the pieces now that it was apparent they wouldn’t be playing _Cluedo_ again.

“Yes,” everyone in the room, who knew what it was, agreed.

So they were off playing _Candy Land_. A whole new set of rules to follow, yet this one Loki found visually much more interesting. Where _Clue_ ’s board had been dark with a bird’s eye view of the details in each room, this one was bright and packed full of tiny little things to discover.

“I want to be that one,” he whispered and pointed as Thor set out the board.

“Mr. Mint?” Clint glanced at it. “He’s not playable.”

“Pardon?”

“He’s not a playable character,” he held up his hand and caught the little green piece Tasha threw at him and held it before Loki’s face. “This is the piece we play with. He’s a candy kid. We draw cards to move him around the rainbow bridge and get him to Queen Frostine’s palace.”

“Princess,” Steve corrected and handed Thor and Tony the red piece and Bruce and Pepper the yellow one as they swapped seats.

“What!?” Tony and Clint yelled and leaned closer to examine the board.

“Oh they messed it all up! Where is Plumpy?” Stark whined, spinning the board around, and searched for the fuzzy green monster.

The archer spun it back his way. “Gramma Gooey!? No! She’s Gramma Nutt!” he chimed in aghast.

“Oh, and Princess Lolly was demoted!”

“And Jolly’s gone!”

“Lord Licorice looks like a fop,”

“You’re one to talk,” Pepper muttered and set her piece at the starting point. Tony snorted at her.

“They’re ruining what little of a childhood I had!” Barton complained and flopped back on the carpet dramatically.

“Alright, rock-paper-scissors over who goes first,” Bruce interrupted the pity-party and held up his hand. “One member from each team, let’s go.”

Steve, Bruce, Tony, and Clint, who quickly sat up, put their fists out. Three shakes and out came three papers and a rock.

“Dammit!” Tony cried and fell out of the circle.

Three more shakes: paper, rock, and scissors.

“Blue’s first,” Natasha cheered and high-fived Rogers. They drew a card, double orange.

Clint and Loki’s turn: Loki drew a double purple.

Bruce and Pepper: Pepper drew a double green.

Tony and Thor’s turn: Tony drew a red. They moved to the first brick on the rainbow road.

“Dammit!” he hissed and unhappily slumped on the couch.

Fifteen minutes into the game green and blue were on their respective colours near the very end, red team obviously loosing and yellow not too far behind the almost winners.

“The characters look like their dancing now,” Tony stated off-handedly, making his piece wiggle back and forth. He had been reduced to sitting on the floor, arm pillowed under his chin, and now forbidden to touch anything accept for his team’s piece. His game curse had struck hard though, causing Thor and their tiny candy child to suffer with it.

“Party at Princess Frostine’s! First one there gets all the candy!” Barton laughed and stuck out his tongue to Natasha, not willing to share in the billionaire’s misery.

“Just draw already and end it,” she said with a little hostility.

Loki smirked; apparently she was a sore loser as well. He drew another green and set it down. Clint grabbed his hand quickly, causing him to pause for a moment. Loki placed his hand back into his lap, sensing that the archer did not want him to touch anything. He couldn’t be sure why, but Clint must have had a good reason.

“What are you doing? Move your piece to the end!” Romanoff shouted angrily.

“No!” Clint frowned and stated, firmly pointing at the board, “They may change the board but they can’t change the rules. Everyone knows the game ends with a purple square! I will move there when I get a purple square. We did not draw purple. We’re not going anywhere!”

“Well I’m moving there regardless of the old rules! New board. New rules.”

“Well fine,” he sassed back and they both stuck their tongues at each other. Master level assassins, capable of taking out dozens of people silently, known for their work all around the world, and they were blowing raspberries at each other as though they were five.

Bruce drew. “Double yellow!”

“Yellow team agrees to honour the old purple square rule,” Pepper quickly added as she moved the piece. Bruce nodded his head in agreement and discarded.

“Red agrees!” Tony’s hand shot in the air.

“You just don’t want to see us win,” Natasha antagonised nastily.

“Yes,” he pointed at her with a smile as he found a new game that he was guaranteed to win.

Thor happily leaned forward and drew. Double red.

“Whoa! Moving up!” the billionaire cheered.

“Shut up,”

“Make me, _Natalie_ ,”

Steve grabbed her arm and held her back before things could escalate further. She glared at Stark and leaned forward, snatching up a card. Orange.

“Damn,” she hissed and slammed it down.

Clint and Loki looked at each other; the god nodded to him, signalling that he was ready. The moment of truth…Clint reached forward and drew. “Blue,” he bitterly sighed and tossed it toward the discard pile.

Bruce and Pepper clasped hands, closed their eyes, and reached forward to take the card together. They turned it over… “PURPLE!” They cried and hugged each other happily.

Tony flicked the red piece over and slunk to lying on the floor with a tiny whine; torn between victory at blue not winning and the shame of losing. Clint made his piece and Banner’s waddle toward the castle and Natasha joined in making the three of them dance. She might have been a sore loser, but her victory came in the fact that Tony was still miserable.

“Woot! Woot! Party!” They laughed and Steve started dancing in his seat, much in the same way Pepper and Bruce were. Thor attempted to join in, though his motions were stiff and clumsy.

Loki laughed over their antics and then stopped, smoothing his lips into a hard line. He was enjoying this. It wasn’t that it was chaos or a form of it; it was that it was…

The darkness within him soared up and he suddenly felt uncomfortable. He pushed the entity aside as he slid a little away from them and rose. Thankful that everyone was too busy with their camaraderie to notice, he escaped toward the kitchen and made his way across the small living space and onto the balcony outside.

It was high up, a level he did not even know the number of, yet was familiar with, having lived almost his whole life in Asgard. Her enormous walls and colossal towers were breathtakingly powerful and commanding; they made the ones of this realm, competing to scraping against the limited sky, look like dwarves. Shining gold and silver, her colours reflected brightly, enhancing the beauty and showcased the craftsmanship of their creators. These were muted, blending in with one another. The only way they could stand out and show their maker’s skill level was to be oddly shaped or hold tiny little carvings, hidden high above where none looked.

It was cold, but he didn’t care; it felt good. It helped clear away the unsettling feeling that gripped his chest. The sun had set not too long ago, the orange tinge still brushing the far corner of the western half of the horizon as the city below began to glow with the night life. Cars, people, and foreign noises drifted up to where he stood. The smell was stuffy, industrial, heavy, mechanical, fatty, and full of sickness: A decay which reflected the lifestyle of the society.

He turned is face toward the oncoming wind, inhaling the scent of the ocean. It was clean, light, salty, and rich. It made his skin itch and his tongue dance with the want of a swim or adventure.

 _Along the branches of the universe…?_ the darkness hissed teasingly.

“There you are.”

Loki jumped and turned to find Clint’s relieved face as he stood at the sliding door.

“I am here,” he confirmed and watched the archer step out toward him; his now bare feet hardly making a sound on the impressively smooth flagstone.

“I wondered where you went. I felt…something,” Clint crossed his arms and shivered.

“I forget that I am not alone to my mind sometimes, I apologise.” He quickly and reluctantly let go of the thread connecting him to Clint. It waved away from his mental grasp as he withdrew into himself.

“No need,” Barton tried though it was too late, and shivered again as the warmth from the mage faded. It left him feeling...empty. “Are you alright?” he frowned concerned.

Loki nodded and returned his attention back toward the city. Barton moved closer; the god could tell he was freezing, but he kept an almost perfect façade of not being troubled by the weather. “You do not have to stay out here.”

“Neither do you,”

“I do not want you to become sick,”

Clint shrugged and slipped his arms around the trickster’s waist from the side, Loki responding automatically in kind with one around his shoulder. “Nah, I’ll be fine.”

They stood there for a while, Clint watching the buildings power down for the evening or light up for the night goers; Loki counting the seconds it took for all traces of the sun to fade and the stars to shine out.

He frowned sadly up at the sky. “What happened to the stars?”

“Light pollution. Remember when we were in the bunker?”

“Before or after the abandoned subway line?”

“Before,”

He thought for a moment. “Yes.”

“Same deal: too many lights reflecting off the atmosphere, so you can’t see beyond it.”

Loki snorted sullenly, “how disappointing.”

Barton hummed in agreement and moved so that he was standing before the god. Reaching out to turn his face down to look at him, he asked, “You alright?”

He nodded and went to move away but was stopped by the archer’s firm hold. He gave him a mildly curious look, straightening his posture slightly. The darkness bit at him wickedly and snickered as he tried to keep himself from wincing.

“I want to help you,” he whispered, chilly breath ghosting from his lips. “I know there is something you’re not telling me, and I felt a little of it when we were at dinner. And last night,” he added almost unable to supress his lips twitching in the desire to smile as he remembered the feeling of the god’s hands upon him. He put those thoughts aside and continued, “Whatever war you have going on up there,” he tapped the side of Loki’s temple gently. “I can help. Sometimes just talking works.”

 _Talk to us…_ it entreated.

“I have no words for these matters,” he replied evenly and turned away.

Clint held his shoulders firmly to keep him in place and fixed him with a serious look. “Then feel it for me.”

Loki swallowed and looked down ashamed. “I do not deserve you,” he breathed and flinched as the darkness snapped at him again. “I do not deserve your kindness, or any of your companion’s forgiveness.” He looked out over the city, catching glimpses of the still ruined buildings or the markings of them being rebuilt. He gestured toward them, hoping they’d remind the archer of what he had been. What he still was. “For all that I have done here, on Asgard, and against the Jötunns I should be locked up or worse.”

“We all do things we’re ashamed of. Sometimes we do them out of anger, fear, pride, other stupid emotions and things. But we learn from them.” Clint reasoned gently and brushed some of the god’s hair from his face. “We accept the consequences, we make amends, and we grow, and keep moving on.”

“Then give them too me!” Loki growled, losing control of himself as the entity gripped his vocal chords and tugged on them. The darkness let out a sudden roar of vicious anger within him; it flared up and he pushed Barton roughly away to stalk toward the far side of the balcony, trying to keep him from it. He didn’t want it to touch him. Clint was too precious, too important. If the darkness were to infect him…Loki shut his eyes and shuttered. He would never be able to forgive himself.

 _You’ll destroy him…_ their words nipped and clawed at his insides. _You’re tainting him like everything else you have touched._

“Loki?”

“Do not coddle me because Thor continues to sing my praises!” He snapped unable to look at him. “Do not let me walk away with all of the death and destruction and fear I have brought to this realm. I cannot be locked up, tortured lightly, and slapped on the wrist by your friends only for everything to be forgiven and made anew! I must atone for my grievances!”

“Loki, sometimes the hardest lessons we learn and suffer from have the smallest and simplest consequences,” Clint’s voice was hard. What the hell was going on with him? He hadn’t acted this strange in a long time. Long time? He could almost laugh. Clint was acting as though he’d known the god for more than several months.

“No,” he shook his head, pleading with the shadows to leave him alone. The entity gripped him, forcing him to point a finger at Clint. It dug at Loki’s guilt and pushed his darkest and guiltiest thoughts out of his mouth. “I took your free-will away. I enslaved you; I made you kill your fellows; I forced you to bed with me; I had you do unspeakable things to strangers; and then I threw you too the wolves so that I could escape because I- I didn’t need you anymore.”

“You don’t mean that,” Clint insisted somewhat shocked. “You’re, you’re just saying that…Loki why are you –”

“When I was alone, and knew that you were safe among your friends again, I gave my mind over to working out why – why!? – _why_ you still wanted me! Even when I was called into your dreams at the very beginning I was still toying with you! I wanted you to be angry with me. I wanted you to loath me! I _need_ you too,” he hissed covering his face frustrated.

“Why?” he said losing his temper. “Why Loki? Why do you need that from me?”

“To remind you of what I am!”

“What are you then Loki!?” he demanded.

“I AM A MONSTER AND I ABHOR MY VERY EXISTENCE!” he yelled taking an aggressive step toward the assassin and stopped; hot tears spilling from his eyes, his breathing coming in laboured pants, his heart working overtime, skin prickling with the unsettling heat of unrelenting self-hatred and exasperation. The entity swirled up, making him choke as it flared with overwhelming excitement. It hadn’t been fed this must since the battle and it only pushed for more. He closed his eyes and turned away from the archer ashamed as he gripped at his chest.

Clint shivered, a small flash of Loki’s mind accidentally connecting with his briefly. There where unrecognisable faces; voices that hissed and swatted at him; terrible sounds and words accompanied by laughter. That was what he had been fighting against this whole time? It wasn’t just his low self-esteem, it was literally some _thing_. Like an incurable virus it was weakening his systems, cutting down any of the walls or defences Clint had tried helping him to build. Well that wasn’t cool. That kind of made Clint angry; mainly for the fact that he spent a lot of time and energy trying to prove over and over again that he was sincere, and he hated having to repeat himself.

He walked toward Loki slowly and gathered him in his arms. The god stiffened, not yielding his posture, to try and ward the archer off. He had to get away from him. If the darkness got him –

“You’re not a monster.” Clint kept his voice level and soothing, holding the god tightly. “You are many things, but a monster is not one of them.”

“Do not patronise me with your words!” he tried to push the mortal off, but Clint held strong.

“You are scared, solitary by choice, timid towards others –”

 _Weak! Selfish! Useless! A whore! Stupid!_ the voices shouted out, each taking a turn to jab those needle-like words into him. Each prick sent a wave of toxic self-doubt and hatred into his being.

“Stop!” he hissed and tried moving out of his grip. He knew with the way he was holding onto his shoulders his fingers would leave marks. He wanted to stop himself yet he couldn’t. He wanted to let him go yet he felt if he did he would be sucked away or cease to exist. The darkness was right. He _was_ tainting Clint.

“– clever, witty, curious –”

_Horrible! Monster! All of those children you have murdered! All of those innocents!_

“Clint!” Loki warned and opened himself up to magic, trying to find a way to gently remove him before it was too late.

It was a mistake, for the moment he pressed into the source his lost control of their connection and was flooded with the archer’s thoughts. Clint had to have been screaming them in his head for them to be this loud in Loki’s. They overpowered the darkness, which became hostile, lashing out in outrage and panic. He growled and pressed his hands over his ears to try and drown out the noise while Barton continued to list off all of the things he thought he was.

“– stressed, imaginative, vibrant, compassionate, tricky –”

 _Tricky!_ it weakly tried counter reacting as it retreated into hiding. It’s attempts at harming the archer failed, causing the being great distress and confusion. It bristled and tried lashing out again. _Foolish horrid mortal! We shall get you!_

“Clint, stop it!” he begged pushing uselessly at his shoulders and burying his sobs into his neck. Thankfully the assassin could feel that he wasn’t asking him to stop talking, but to help him stop the entity from winning.

“– wild, interesting, spirited, courageous –”

_Monster. Monster! MONSTER!_

“Clint!”

“– lost. Well more like wandering –”

_MONSTER! MONSTER!_

“Stop.”

“– broken –”

_MONSTER!_

“Please…”

“– loved.” Clint kissed his temple and held him closer now that Loki’s body had given way and the entity had vanished, repulsed and unhappily defeated. “Loki,” he whispered against his ear, “Let me help you tear down that mental cage you’ve built around yourself. Step out into the real world with me… Stop trying to lie to yourself and just let what people say be what they say. Don’t pick it apart for hidden meanings or question if it is the truth. Sometimes the truth doesn’t have to be spoken. Sometimes the truth is simple. The only way you are going to be forgiven for everything is if you forgive yourself. That is when the healing can begin.”

“I do not deserve you,” he breathed trying to calm his sobs. _Ha! Sentiment!_ He was pathetic.

“Don’t!” Clint smacked him on the back. “I heard that. Don’t think like that. It only keeps the other thing around…”

 _The other thing…_ Loki shivered and tried to pull away, but the archer held on, soothing him with words and feelings transferred through their bond. It was almost more than Loki could bear. He thought he would go insane until he felt another set of arms around Barton and his bodies. A familiar odour surrounded him: earth, sweat, light, wind…

“Get off Thor,” he warned low in his throat as he opened his eyes.

“Nay,” he smiled happily and sighed with content. The feeling of holding Loki lifted away the helplessness he felt upon seeing the two bicker from the doorway.

“Off!” he hissed and jerked his shoulders to no avail.

“Do you remember the last time we hugged in this manner?”

Loki was silent, but Clint could feel he had recalled the memory. There was warmth, some joy, and then sudden darkness and hate swept up around it.

“Don’t,” he whispered drawing Loki’s mind away from the nasty turn his thoughts had taken. “Don’t let those voices turn that into something bad.” The god of mischief shifted slightly abashed and forced himself to return to the memory and just watch it. “Forgive yourself.” Clint encouraged.

Loki gave a small sigh and shamefully confessed, “I recall I was the one that spooked the horse which threw you and caused your leg to be broken.”

“I know,” Thor countered, voice sounding almost proud.

“You what?” he pushed just enough away so that he could look at him.

“I knew you had done that.”

“Why are you not upset with me?”

“You are my brother,” he shrugged. “Sometimes games and tricks get out of hand. It is nothing to cause a fight over. Accidents happen after all.”

The younger god seemed perplexed. Barton smiled and pulled him back into the tight embrace. One way or another, he was going to break Loki of that terrible habit; even if it took him his entire lifetime. He just needed to figure out what the hell that _thing_ was…


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this took forever!!! *sobs* I realised when I began editing this one, I'd just been pushing things back from the chapters before, and I created this crappy plot gap. My timeline was all messed up and now that it's fixed, to make up for the LONG wait (not that I haven't done worse to you all), I shall post two chapters this week and then pick a freaking set day(s) where I can start updated two to three times a month from now on. 
> 
> I'm trying to get my life together, I promise.
> 
> Also, for those that celebrated Thanksgiving, Happy Belated Thanksgivukkah/Thanksgiving. For those that celebrate Hanukkah, Happy Hanukkah.
> 
> All mistakes are my own. I hope you enjoy the chapter!

\----------------------23----------------------

“Why Loki? Why do you need that from me?”

“To remind you of what I am!”

“What are you then Loki!?”

“I AM A MONSTER AND I ABHOR MY VERY EXISTENCE!”

Pepper pressed her fingers to her lips, stifling the gasp which the god’s confession had provoked. The rest of them shifted uneasily.

After Clint had left in search of Loki, Natasha had become concerned and followed him. The way the archer had looked, the sound of his voice suggested something had been off. Her concerned transferred to Steve, who gave a look to Banner, who got up with Thor and Tony wasn’t one to be left out, and Pepper certainly hadn’t wanted to be alone and –

And it ended with them all…well eavesdropping, they had decided, was too strong of a term. It was more like keeping a watchful eye out. Things had seemed fine, leaving everyone to turn around and begin heading in the other direction, but the magic of the small tender moment between the odd pair suddenly turned verbally vicious.

Natasha had tensed but kept her distance, watching with her fists clinched. Steve gave Banner a look: their silent agreement that if something were to happen Steve and him would hold her back, letting Thor take care of protecting Clint, and Tony to watch after Pepper. Once Loki had put some distance between him and Barton, Natasha seemed to relax, but just barely.

They all crowded around the door, unable to properly piece everything together, yet it seemed that now whatever Clint was saying, as he held Loki, was making the god upset, for they caught snippets of him shouting and growling the archer’s name in anger and then pleading. It made them a little uncomfortable to watch someone they had once thought of as an arrogant pain in the ass to be shaking and clutching Clint tightly, as though his sanity depended upon it.

It was a grim reminder that villains were human…or well…a being that was capable of good. A being that was once loved and loved others in return. That helped in their community. It reminded them all that each of their lives could have turned out much differently than what they had.

“Pardon me,” Thor whispered, moving out into the night quietly to go and comfort the two.

“Do you think he meant it?” Tony whispered to Bruce. “About wanting to be punished?”

“I don’t know,” he sighed and leaned against the wall.

“He did,” Romanoff breathed, turning away from the scene.

“What?” Pepper looked between them all confused.

“When I offered him a truce I made him apologise to me for what he’d done to New York…he told me he was a monster…he,” she shook herself to get the creeping guilty feeling from her back. “The words he said…the way he said them…the look in his eyes…” she turned and stared at the group hugging outside. “I…sometimes wear that look. Those words are tattooed into me, just as they are in him now...”

“What are we going to do?” Rogers asked with a sigh as he rubbed at his forehead.

Everyone shrugged unable to come up with a decent answer.

“What would be best for Barton?” Bruce puzzled out.

“What do you mean?” Pepper whispered still trying to peek out to see what was going on.

“Well, whatever we do to Loki affects him somehow. Do we give Loki what he wants, and condemn someone in the process?”

“We’ve worked so hard to save both of them, it’d be a waste to turn them over to S.H.I.E.L.D. now,” Tony said rubbing his chin.

“Or do we look beyond what he seems, like Barton has, and show him he isn’t a crazy monster as he seems to believe?” Steve looked at Natasha’s back.

“I mean…you all did with me,” Bruce whispered and looked at them all. “We’ve all changed from who we really were and who people made us out to be…”

“We have,” the soldier agreed.

“Then we know what we do,” Natasha flicked some of her hair from her face and folded her arms over her chest. “For the good of the team, for the good of the planet, and for the good of our friendship…we help Barton…and Loki.”

“They’re coming back,” Pepper hissed in a panic and ran into kitchen unsure of what else to do. Everyone scattered: Banner, Rogers, and Natasha hurried to the small island to pretend they had been talking there all along; leaving Tony stuck his head in the fridge, and Pepper to scrub at the side of the sink vigorously.

Loki stepped through the doorway first, prodded forward by Clint and Thor on either side. He kept his eyes downcast and his back straight. There was a haunted look about him, and he seemed drained of all energy, yet he kept himself up and moved forward with borrowed dignity.

“I think it best I retire for the evening,” he said quietly to Clint and made to leave for the medical wing.

“You’re not welcome there!” Bruce called to him and realised his volume was inappropriate for the space. “Sorry,” he tried again quieter. “Uh, you are no longer in that room…we uh, thought since you and Clint…that…and stuff…for…same room…” he trailed off and looked away, fiddling with his glasses.

“You mean Loki can move into a normal room?” Clint asked hopefully.

Bruce nodded. “Yeah, sorry…I uh…long day.”

“I think it’s been a long day for everyone,” Pepper said nervously and pretended to yawn. “I’m tired myself, so…Tony?”

“Yeah?” he pulled his head from the fridge.

“Bed.”

“Yep,” he closed the doors loudly and they headed off to grab her things from the other room.

“We should probably get some rest too,” Tasha said gently elbowing Steve in the ribs.

“Yeah!” he agreed trying to make his voice sound normal, yet failed when it cracked a bit. There was a moment of silence and he cleared it looking around and nudged Romanoff.

She pointed to Clint. “Training room, noon?”

“You bet. Knives only?”

She nodded and left dragging Rogers along behind her. He nodded to them all as they vanished around the corner. Bruce fidgeted for a second before running off muttering he had forgotten something personal in the dining room.

“I guess that leaves just us,” Clint smiled at the god of mischief as he took his hand and lead him toward the elevators, Thor following not far behind. “What level?” he asked the blond once they had stepped into the lift.

“Twelve,”

“Ah you’re below us,” he smiled and pushed the buttons.

They sped off and up, stopping at the twelfth floor to bid Thor good night. The thunder god gave his brother one more look before opting to nod his head in farewell rather than embrace him again. Loki’s arm shot out. Half of him panicked that his gesture would be rejected, and the other half chanted its hope inside of him. Thor’s eyes shone as his beamed, clasping his arm in their homeland fashion and bowed his head toward him a bit.

“Rest peacefully,” Loki said softly.

“Keep a candle lit,” Thor replied and turned.

The doors closed and the elevator went up one more floor and opened to their dark and spacious quarters.

“I know,” said Barton exited the tube, feeling against the wall to flip on a light, “it might be too open, but Tony said that we can make adjustments and decorate however we like. I kind of like the bed we have, but I found a few others you might like.”

“Is it that ruddy rope contraption?” he muttered looking around.

“No,” Clint laughed and pulled the god along to show him the space they had. There was a small entrance way for coats and shoes, a nice living space which connected to a private modern kitchen and eating area, master bedroom and bath, study room, extra empty rooms for things, and an open balcony they could step onto from the living area.

“All for us?”

“All for us,” Barton exhaled contently as he flopped down onto the bed. It was oval shaped and moved slightly under his weight from the suspension mechanism underneath. It looked like an abstract bland nest. Loki stated such.

“Haha, I get it. Hawkeye – hawk – bird – nest. Get in!” he rolled his eyes and pulled the god in.

It was soft and very comfortable. The dark sheets were of a nice count and good cotton, and the pillows were fluffy and could easily be manipulated. The bed moved as they shifted around, the motion of it reminded Loki of the hammock, yet the swing did not feel as…free.

“We’ll have time tomorrow to sneak out and go looking for something.”

“After your sparring match with Widow?”

“Yes, after my sparring match with _Natasha_ ,” he corrected as he sat up to pull off his shirt. “Which side do you want?”

“Any is fine,” he sighed, moving to the edge to slide off his own boots. Tossing them to the ground, he moved back and lay against the pile of pillows sitting along the raised soft edges of the bed. Barton crawled over to him, straddling his lap as he ran a hand through the god’s hair and leaned down to kiss his temple. He worked his lips across his pale forehead and down the curve of his nose.

“Twice in one day? You will be far too exhausted to keep pace with your sparring partner,” Loki chided and ran his hands along Clint’s toned body, playfully brushing their lips together and pulling back when the archer moved forward for a kiss.

“Are you being mean to me?” he pouted.

“Never,”

Their lips connected: Loki tensing, as fear of the darkness returning rose within him, and Clint melting against his chest. The archer let out a small moan and kissed his way around the god’s features, taking time to press his lips to every inch of his face. Loki gripped his hips and tried to breathe.

“Loki…?” he whispered concerned, a dozen curious thoughts rushing to his mind.

“Do not ask me those questions,” he begged silently. “I do not have answers…”

“Do you not have the answers, or do you, but just not the ones you want me to know about?”

The god turned his face away. Clint followed stealing more kisses. “I can’t…” he breathed apologetically.

“I never said I wanted them now,” the archer smiled rolling to the side and pulled at Loki’s clothes until he turned to face him. “I can wait a bit. Just know you can talk to me.”

Loki was confused for a moment. “Then you do not desire sexual intercourse?”

“What? Me? Not want sex? Wherever would you get an idea like that?”

“You were…but…” he exhaled and shook his head, “Never mind.”

“I mean, I’m game if you want, but I figured you were tired,” he shrugged.

Loki nodded. “Indeed I am…I only…I thought because you were…” he gave a small sigh and shook his head, “it was stupid of me.”

“It’s not stupid,” he frowned with a small pout and kissed him. “You just have to remember to communicate. Remember our lesson on how to share your feels?” He brushed their noses together as his hands soothingly slid up and down Loki’s arms and back several times.

“I forgot,” he whispered apologetically and closed his eyes as he brought his hands up to cup Barton’s face, bringing their lips together as he searched for what the archer desired from him.

Loki felt it, the small seed of Clint’s emotions, resting within his chest. It hummed with the content of being near the one it was intimate with. It did not burn with deeper needs or demand more, it just wanted touch: a kiss, his weight lying next to him in bed, his arms around him…

“So simple?” Loki whispered as the archer pressed his lips up the side of his face slowly. _How can someone want so little of me, yet still want all of me?_

“Yes…” Clint interrupted his thoughts before the darkness could crawl out of hiding again. “I’m a wanton tactile clingy lover…” he kissed his nose and then sat up to pull the sheet covers up around them. “Hope you don’t mind.”

Loki didn’t say anything, only held his arms out to Barton, wrapping him closer as he returned the god’s embrace. They settled down for the night; Clint still pressing slow kisses to the mage’s throat and chin until he fell asleep, and Loki tracing runes along his bare spine. It was simple, it was nice, and it satisfied a part of Loki he had not known was lacking such affection. No one had ever wanted him like this before…

_No one?_ the darkness challenged, keeping a safe distance off to the side of his mind.

Loki closed his eyes and pushed that part of his past away. _I have no desire to think of him…_

The darkness said nothing, merely settled into a corner of his thoughts and sat patiently. Loki held Clint protectively closer and continued drawing the runes along his back. He pressed his lips to the mortal’s bare shoulder and rested his head onto Barton’s, finally relaxing into the bed to wait for sleep.

\-------------------------------------------------

He carried her bags as he led her to their room.

“Tony this isn’t where I last left my things,” she said confused. She was exhausted, both emotionally and physically, and really only desired to fall asleep the moment she closed her eyes. As much as she cared for him, she couldn’t play his games tonight. It had been too weird of an evening.

“I know…I uh…had your things moved,”

“Moved?”

“Yeah, I was gentle when I did it. By the way, your underwear selection is very nice. I love the ones that are just a string with a triangle and my company logo. Where did you get those?”

“You sent them too me when I first started working for you,”

“I have great taste. Why are they still in the packaging?”

“Because I’m practical and have better taste,” she smiled and rested her hand on his shoulder as they came to a halt before the bedroom door. “Are you comfortable with sharing a bed with me?”

He shrugged, “We have before.”

“I mean now. It’s been awhile.”

Tony turned to her, taking her into his arms and kissed her. She melted against him, sliding her arms around his neck and stood straighter as her cares and worries were tossed away.

“Alright,” she grinned as their lips parted, taking the kiss for his answer.

“Close your eyes.”

“Tony,” she whined as her exhaustion hit her again.

“Please…I promise it’ll be worth it.” She gave him a long look before she closed them. He took her hands and led her through the door, leaving her bags in the hallway. He walked them to the centre of the room and stepped back, letting her go and went to stand out of the way. “Open them.”

She did and gasped as JARVIS slowly brought the lights up. The room was full of bunches of tulips: vibrant crimson red, snowy pristine white, and… “Oh Tony!” Pepper sighed breathless as she put her hands over her mouth. “How did you know these where my favourite?” she took several steps toward a small display of the _Burning Heart_ tulips, her fingers of one hand reaching out to just ghost the tip of one.

“I’m a genius, remember?” he smirked putting his hand into his pockets and paced a little, watching her with loving curiosity as she went from vase to vase and looked them over. They were all perfectly rounded, not quite closed but just starting to open, so that they’d have a while to bloom for her. He picked up a _Burning Heart_ that was a little different form the others, it’s blossom trying to impress by being a few days early, and went to her. He wrapped his arms around her, offering her the flower.

She took it, laughing in wondrous disbelief and held it to her nose to smell, her watery eyes closing as she enjoyed its sweet scent. “I don’t know what to say,” she whispered.

“Seeing your reaction has been reward enough.” He kissed the side of her face.

“Did Jarvis tell you?”

“No, he actually didn’t know.”

“Happy?”

“Nope,”

“Then how? I made sure to never let slip this,”

“I honestly just looked at flowers online until I found one that reminded me of you.” He confessed.

She snorted and tapped his face with the flower, “Yeah right.”

“I did!” he insisted with a small laugh. “If it didn’t bring you to mind, it wasn’t right. Then I found these,” he indicated toward the flower she was gently brushing against his cheek. “Simple, vibrant, impressive, and sweet…my Pepper in a nutshell.”

She hummed and kissed him again, her earlier fatigue floating away for good. “The red and white were a nice touch as well.”

“I thought so,” he agreed, his grin widening as he went in for another kiss.

Pepper put the tulip in between their lips, “speaking of sweet…wasn’t there supposed to be dessert?” The breath was knocked out of him. He swallowed; his throat suddenly dry as the look in her eyes captivated him. He nodded his head slowly. “Should I wait for you to go get it or start undressing now?”

“Oh Virginia…” he sighed, moving the flower aside and claimed her lips. Tony thought her small laugh was gorgeous as they managed to find the bed without separating. He might not have been able to say the words he wanted too, but he knew she understood he felt them. If his kisses or his passion and dedication to her pleasure didn’t convey it, then he prayed flowers had done their job.

\-------------------------------------------------

“The council wishes to speak with you,” Maria said leaning into the doorway of Fury’s office.

“Of course they do,” he sighed too tired to try and make any jokes or jabs.

“Morales is requesting to speak with you,”

“Of course she is…” he rubbed his temples with another sigh.

“And Phil has made contact with Foster and Selvig.”

“Of course he has…”

Maria took a moment to look him over. He seemed exhausted, his usual spirit and commanding presence were nowhere to be found, and it felt odd. “What are you orders, sir?” she asked quietly.

“Give me a few minutes…” he pressed his palms into his eyes and got up from his desk slowly. “I’ll be there in a few minutes…”

“I can send Morales and her team to another state for now, if you’d like?”

“No, leave them there for another day,” he went around his desk, taking a moment to stretch and straighten himself out. “She’ll live. One of her greatest flaws is patience.” He looked at her from over his shoulder. “Where is Phil now?”

“A couple days away from New York. He switched from driving to taking a train halfway through Missouri.”

“Good, it’ll help throw the council’s spies off of his trail.” Fury squared his shoulders, took a deep breath and turned; the sudden shift from rundown elder to powerful authority almost threw Hill over, but she remained still and waited. “I’ll see them now.”

\-------------------------------------------------

Loki felt the shift as night slipped into early morning. He couldn’t sleep. It was the strum of the realm that bothered him. It was odd compared to Asgard’s or even to the nothing which existed along the borders of the universe. It was hurried, fragmented, and hollow. He felt the turn of the world and its inhabitants moving like shadows across their untapped plane of existence. It was unsettling.

He rolled over and looked at the archer’s back, watching his side move up and down in a deep steady rhythm. Loki reached out and gently touched him, his hand drinking in the warmth of Clint’s bare skin. How had he come to deserve such an interesting and truly kind being? What had he done to deserve him? Why had Yggdrasil insisted they be together?

The god shook himself from those questions as he felt the threat of the entity waking within him. He curled closer to Barton, keeping a flat palm against his spine and counted the seconds until the moon would fully set and the sun’s rays would be visible along the horizon.

The windows remained darkened, yet he didn’t need to see the sky to know when the sun finally began rising. He felt it within himself. A swelling heat that made his toes tingle and the hair on the back of his neck stand up. He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply.

Clint shifted, stretching a bit. Loki withdrew his hand and turned quickly, worried he had awakened him. He felt Clint roll toward him, his hand slipping along his side and up his chest. “Morning,” he grumbled groggy and kissed the god’s shoulder.

“I’m sorry if I woke you,”

“You didn’t,” he kissed his shoulder again and shifted toward him more. “Did you sleep at all?”

Loki shook his head, “barely. My mind was far too restless.”

“Wasn’t that black shit was it?”

He chuckled, “No. I am not yet used to the…flow of this realm.”

“Magical jetlag,” he reasoned and began slowly kissing the god’s throat, moving his left hand under Loki and down into his pants, his other holding him at the centre of his chest.

The god grabbed his wrist with a playful smirk, “what are you doing?”

Clint pressed himself against his body and licked up his neck. “Morning sexys…” he purred moving his hand further down and griped the mage’s member to gently stroke him. “Good morning.”

Loki’s heart beat tripled speed at his touch. “It seems it will be,” his voice darkened with need as he gave himself over to the archer, a new kind of heat rushed through him.

Clint laughed and began rolling his hips and slightly erect member up against the god’s backside. He panted and kissed the area around his ear as he moved a hand under Loki’s shirt. Smoothing it along his body he began teasing him, his other one moving up and down his shaft in a slow firm way. Loki pressed back into him, grabbing up the archer’s leg and pulled it around him as he swallowed back a quiet moan.

“Unlace your pants,” Barton entreated. Loki complied with a sigh as he felt the archer push the fabric aside and free his length. Clint moaned into the god’s ear, spurring his desires further. Loki turned his head and offered his lips, his tongue craving to taste the archer’s sweet kiss.

Clint moved a little faster as he leaned in to savour his mouth. Both of them groaned. Loki used his free hand to try and pull his face closer and opened his mouth, making the kiss deeper; his fingers playing along Clint’s skin as his whole being itched to touch him. Before he could speak or do much more, a light flipped on above them causing them to freeze.

“Alright, get up!” Natasha shouted marching into the room and yanked opened the dresser drawers, pulling clothes out and tossing them to the bed. “Stop fucking around. You’ve got training and Loki probably needs to do magicy things.”

“Tasha,” Clint whined, his voice laced with his displeasure at being interrupted.

“Don’t ‘Tasha’ me. You left your shoes in the living room.”

The assassin growled frustrated and continued to move against Loki, pressing kisses to his mouth. The god realised they must have looked incredibly bizarre, twisted around each other like some sweetened knotted-bread: one of them still moving and making small noises, the other a statue staring at the ceiling.

Natasha tossed the last item of clothing on the bed and then disappeared into the bathroom. The moment she was gone, Loki felt his muscles relax.

“There we go,” Clint encouraged as the god moved a little against him instinctively.

“Clint!” Her voice called as the sound of running water echoed from the room.

“Ten minutes!” he shouted back. “Don’t listen to her,” he whispered to Loki and gave a slightly rough tug to his manhood. The god arched against him, biting back a moan, his body wanting so desperately to burn with the friction of his rising needs, yet guilt had started seeping in at the female’s intimidating presence. He tried pushing it back as he pulled Clint’s leg over him more and tilted his neck. The feel of teeth upon his throat excited him.

_Yes_ , he encouraged, half of him still cringing over the thought of having a pointless mark upon his person, the other begging for Clint to brand his body. He wanted to wear it the entire day, with pride. He wanted the others to look at him and then blush once they realised that the two of them had been engaged sexually whilst they weren’t around. The mischievous side wanted to turn their discomfort into a victory, one which he could flaunt with the mark, silently boasting of his conquests.

Barton felt his thoughts and sank his teeth in it his throat, sucking as hard as he could; the sloppy sound made Loki swallow another moan and move against him in delight. A shadow fell over them, and before they could react or knew what was happening, they were being smothered by a giant metal fist of freezing cold water.

“FUCKING HELL!” Clint shouting, sitting up quickly and grabbed at the bucket, ripping it out of Natasha’s hands and chucked it at the far wall. His sexual heat had switch to primal fury in a split second. He looked wild. His teeth were bared, breath hissing out between them as he growled; hands formed into fists; body coiled ready to strike.

Natasha looked at him, as if the sight were nothing new and then threw up a towel to throw him off as she ran for the door. She dropped a small case just as she was exiting the room. Clint threw the white fabric aside rushing after her, snatching up the discarded object, and opened it. He yanked out two knives as he followed her. She made it to the elevator before him, quickly shutting the door and pushed for one of the training rooms.

Clint slammed his fist against the door and looked around, spotting the emergency exit down at the end of the hall. He raced toward it. “Where is she headed Jasper?” he demanded throwing the door opened and slid down the banisters.

“Sir my name is –”

“Tell me where!”

“To training room four, on the –”

“That’s all, thanks!”

Loki stared after them for a moment, blinded by confusion. His fuzzy-headed state, and the abruptness of their leaving, caused him to almost miss the feeling of someone unknown walking around the other room. He lay there for a moment and focused his thoughts. He was so taken aback by the hostility and raw energy within the archer. It sort of made him wish for Clint to turn back and spare ten minutes of that strength upon him.

But that could be arranged another time, Loki was sure of it.

He calmed his body quickly and rose, flicking the water from his person, and tucked himself back into his pants as he made his way out into the living room. Steve was awkwardly pacing around with his hands in his pockets. He stopped once he noticed the god watching him.

“Yes?” he raised an eye brow looking the blond over.

“Uh…hello,” he smiled with a timid wave. “I was…I was wondering if there was anything you’d want to do today?”

“What is there for a being to do here?” he crossed his arms over his chest a bit unsure of how he felt about spending time with anyone without Barton around.

“Well…we could train, or I could show you around, or…I could leave you al…are you alright?” he frowned suddenly concerned.

“Yes, I am perfectly fine, why?”

“You’re bleeding,” Steve gestured to his throat as a way to mirror were the wound he was looking at was.

Loki’s hand shot to the side of his neck. He pulled it back and examined the red upon his fingers. He rushed into the other room and back into the bathroom, pulling his hair and tunic collar aside as he examined the spot. There upon his ivory skin, already starting to heal, was an angry looking spot surrounded by a ring of pink tiny tooth impressions. He smiled as he rinsed off the little amount of blood there was and used a spell to clean the small spots out of his shirt. He modified the style of his shirt to sit lower upon his shoulders and ran a hand over his hair, untangling it and smoothing it out a tad, as he returned to where Steve was waiting.

“Is every–”

“Yes,” he interrupted him cheerily. “I would enjoy a tour of the palace if you wouldn’t mind?”

“Okay,” the soldier was taken aback as he studied the god’s neck carefully and then swallowed looking away, slightly embarrassed, once he realised what it was. “Uh, l-let’s start from the ground floor, okay?”

\-------------------------------------------------

There were about thirty active levels to the building; plus a basement space for Tony to play around in; and a special training room for the Hulk. Loki had been almost everywhere they were allowed to visit. The other floors had been sectioned off due to extensive damage; the two base levels where currently being used; and Loki had no desire to “sneak a peek” into anyone’s personal quarters, even though Banner had offered when they had passed in the hall. The soldier had instead let him walk around his old rooms. Loki felt this was different, since he no longer slept within them; therefore, he was not invading into a personal or private space. They might have been made for Steve, but he chose to rest his head elsewhere, which left that level technically ownerless.

Steve explained how each floor was set up in the same fashion, only opposite the one above to ensure better privacy. The room they were in was on an evened numbered floor, so if one went far enough right from the door they’d find the emergency stairs, and if one kept left they’d end up in the bedroom. The bedrooms were set up in half-levels, Loki discovered, and since construction had not been completed before the attack and even afterward, Tony had sealed off the spaces around, which would have lead down to a second level for some of the apartments.

There was a vast library, with fifty books clustered onto a table and a magnitude of dust occupying the shelves; a sauna; spa area; and four training rooms. The first was dedicated to weight lifting, boxing, and other physical strengthening excursuses; the second to simulation fighting; the third to weapon and range working; and the last to swimming and other water activities. There was a space for offices, a nice lobby, and the rest of the floors were still blown out and being patched up.

Loki swallowed and turned away as they left the space they had just been walking through; the plastic sheets covering the windows fluttered slightly, the large holes spotting them helped to keep the wind from ripping them off and floating away.

“So that’s pretty much everything,” Steve said as they re-entered the lift and headed back to what he had explained was the ‘community’ level. “Any questions?”

“I have none. Thank you for your tour though, it was very insightful. I am, however, feeling fatigued. Would you be offended if I went and laid down?”

“Not at all,” Steve reassured and pushed the button for the god’s suite. “If you need anything, feel free to ask JARVIS or come find one of us, alright?”

The god only nodded his head and waited silently until the doors opened before him and the pressure from the box moving upward ceased. Loki waved politely farewell as he entered his new living space.

He stood there for a moment, after the doors had closed, and looked around. The couch was the closest thing from him and the only thing that seemed comfortable enough to stretch out upon. He quickly stumbled over to it and flopped down, curling toward the back of it and shut his eyes. With a few deep breaths, and a sharp push at the darkness to stay back with its nasty comments, he was out.

\-------------------------------------------------

“Hey,” Darcy said as she knocked on the door and entered the RV. Jane didn’t say anything. She just continued to lie on her stomach holding her pillow tightly. “So the thing out here…it’s doing stuff…and I can’t figure out if it’s your stuff or if it is just picking up things like it did the other night from the neighbouring campers.”

Jane didn’t answer her nor did she honestly show any interest. Darcy gave an annoying huff.

“Alright, you know what? Screw it! Erik said we had to be nice to you because of this whole Thor thing, but when my last boyfriend broke my heart did I quit doing things?” She took a moment and then gave a shrug. “Okay yeah I did, but it only lasted for like five days!” she added quickly. “This has gone on for more than a year, and it’s only gotten worse since New York. Jane,” she sighed and dropped heavily onto the bed next to her. “Jane, _please_! I am _begging_ you; you can’t let this whole thing bring you down! Thor said he’d return for you. He never said when or how or why, just that he would. Boys are stupid, that’s why whoever is in charge up there gave them us and gay men to look out for them.”

“It’s not even that,” Jane confessed sadly in a soft voice.

“Then what is it? Are you itching? Do you need a good lay? Because I know a few guys, and girls, that aren’t too bad. One of them is blond. I mean he’s not like Thor-blond but if you keep the lights out and pretend I’m sure –”

“Darcy,” Jane warned.

She held up her hands. “Okay, I’m listening. What is it?”

“It’s…” she sighed and rolled over scratching at her head. “I don’t even know what it is really. It might be that he left and never came back. It might be that I’ve spent more than a whole year trying to find him; driven by this unrelenting need, praying that if something bad did happen that he was also looking for me, and that nothing worse had happened to him. I,” she bit her lip and closed her eyes as sadness welled up within her again. “I’ve never met someone like him. He’s what I always wanted as a child.”

“A tall and sexually handsome male with perfect muscles?” Darcy asked looking off into space thinking about him.

Jane gave her a look and then slapped her arm. “No! He’s the younger me colliding with the older me. Child me wanted to go into space, learn magic, battle monsters, and fly. I became this boring adult who only cared about facts, numbers, and science, because everyone laughed at me for wearing a wizard costume to school. People threw things at me and stuck gum in my hair because I believed in faeries and unicorns and…and I just never wanted to stop…but my parents made me. Everyone made me…and I never realised how lost I was until he ran into my life.”

“More like you ran into his body with your car, but…” she rolled her eyes and made a ‘ _it’s-all-according-to-perspective_ ’ face as she shrugged.

Jane shook her head with a sigh. “You Tasered him.”

“I did,” she smiled proudly and then bumped her friend and co-worker’s arm gently. “Honestly though, I get it. He’s important, and good looking, and he promised and stuff, but you can’t let this get to you. He said he would return. Thor seems really chill. There _has_ to be a reason why he’s doing what he’s doing.”

“I know…” she sighed heavily. “I just…sometimes I forget that people can actually be good without being false.”

“Hey! I’m good and not false! I’m the realist baddest bitch you’ll never know!”

“Darcy you don’t fall into the ‘people’ category,” she rolled her eyes.

She smiled, “Does this mean I get my own?”

“You couldn’t fit anywhere else.”

“It’s because I’ve got all this,” she said gesturing to her body, specifically her breast and hips. “Too much for most people. Intimidates all them wannabes.”

“Only you Darcy,” she sighed, trying to stop herself from laughing.

Darcy grinned and then snuggled up next to her, resting her head on Jane’s shoulder. “Do you still feel like the world is going to crush you with misery or are you well enough that we can go out and like fix the thing so that we can swim?”

“Both?”

“Should I get the ice cream?”

Jane smiled. “Yeah…”

Darcy got up and went to the fridge. “I’m glad we’re going swimming afterward. All these romance movies, doughnuts, ice cream binges, and double fried tacos are killing my hourglass figure. I’m going to have to start making an effort to keep my ass from getting to big soon.”

Jane laughed and threw her pillow at Darcy as she came back with their treat. She smiled and heavily fell onto the bed as she handed over a spoon and they began tearing the carton open.

“What’s on?” the astrophysics asked around a mouthful of the creamy frozen wonderfulness.

Darcy grabbed the remote and turned the tiny TV on. Two people in skimpy tight clothes were arguing. It was a Spanish drama and Estrella seemed to be begging Arnau not to leave her. They sat there watching the overdramatic scene play out.

“What’s going on?” Jane asked when Estrella slapped the muscular and slightly glistening male across the face.

“I’m not certain,” Darcy mused. “Either Arnau just told her he slept with her sister or that he ate her goldfish. Regardless Estrella’s pregnant…or she really needs lots of watermelons.”

“Hm…” she raised a brow curiously. “He’s cute.”

“Very,” she nodded and ate another spoonful of ice cream.

\-------------------------------------------------

Clint staggered out of the elevator as he made his way into the living space. He was tired and hungry, maybe even a little horny still, but he couldn’t let his mind delve too far into that. He stopped halfway to the couch when he saw that it was occupied. Apparently, he wasn’t the only one having a rough day. The poor god looked so warn out, and a little more peaceful than usual, as he slumbered away.

His brows were furrowed just slightly and his hair was splayed across the shiny charcoal surface, body twisted slightly toward Clint, and one hand resting near his face. His lips were barely parted and although his breathing was a tad uneven, he was still a tempting sight.

Clint crept to the edge and pressed his mouth to the god’s. Loki’s body flinched at his touch, yet he relaxed and returned the kiss once he’d recognised the archer’s presence.

Barton moved Loki’s face slightly and kissed the spot upon his throat that he had left earlier. “Did you enjoy it?” he whispered, licking the remains of the hickey, which now looked like a small coffee stain with a tinge of pale yellow surrounding it.

“While it lasted, yes,” he sighed and turned, allowing the archer room to climb on top of him. “I see you survived training.”

“For now,” he sighed and shifted to lean on his hands and knees over him.

Loki hummed and licked his lips with eager anticipation. “I hope you are not _too_ exhausted from your battle?”

The assassin smiled down at him, “I thought I felt something.”

“You thought you felt what?” he asked innocently and pawed at his bare chest.

“So you _do_ like it rough,” he teased and began grinding against him slowly.

“Perhaps,” Loki moaned breathless and gripped the archer’s hips as he rolled his own up to meet Clint’s.

“I come back with the idea to nap and I get sex instead. Damn my life is good,” he chuckled.

“Would you rather nap beforehand?” he asked worriedly.

“No I only have half an hour,”

“Only half?” he pouted.

“I’ll make it count,” he promised bending forward to capture his lips, pulling his hair back, demanding and rough as he drank in the delicious taste of the god’s mouth.

Loki shivered and moaned, moving his hands back to massage Clint’s rear, urging him closer. “You are tired though,” he whispered. His mind told him to stop and let the archer rest, but his body wanted.

It needed and yet he knew if he indulged, he would want it all. It would demand all of Clint and everything they could give each other and then some more. The bond between them was impatient and hungry. It thrived off of their shared affections and craved moments like these. Whether these insatiable demands were part of the bond for eternity or its need to fill the void they left when they were unconscious, Loki wasn’t sure. All he knew was that he desired the archer and, in return, Clint desired him.

“I’ll live,” Barton mumbled biting at the spot on Loki’s throat again.

The god couldn’t stop the whimper that slipped from his mouth as he shifted against him. “Clint, please…” he begged, unsure if it was his body or mind trying to speak out in favour or against it all.

He pulled back and sat up suddenly, his hands held up in a non-aggressive position. There was a strange look in his eyes. “I won’t force you if you don’t want too.”

“I know,” he quickly said taking his hands, reassuring him that that wasn’t the issue.

Clint swallowed. “Do you?”

Loki reached up and stroked the side of his face. “Of course I do, I am merely concerned with your own wellbeing though. You look exhausted and there are bruises on your body. I don’t want to do something that could cause you further damage. The day is still very young and I am sure you’ll need your stamina.”

“You saying I can’t take Natasha?” Clint challenged, even though he already knew the answer to that question.

“No, not at all. I only want…I only want you to be safe. Your body is very different than mine. I receive a bruise and before the day is out it is almost healed. You receive a bruise and it lasts for a month.”

Clint looked at him before nodding. “Alright, you win this round, but only because _you’re_ still healing!” he warned pointing his finger down at him.

Loki smiled and pulled him down, both of them stretching and shifting against each other as they moved onto their sides, trying to find the perfect spot to settle into. Legs tangled, arms wrapped around their bodies with their faces buried into their shoulders, they both sighed with content, realising this was indeed the better option for now, as they quickly fell asleep.

\-------------------------------------------------

“As of today, the council has decided that you are no longer fit to run this agency.”

It was a quick, yet deep, strike to his chest. The room felt as though it were spinning. Her voice had sounded so…elated? Relieved? Victorious.

“May I ask what the deciding factors for my release are?”

“Your age; your recent displays of incompetency; your inability to manage and capture the wanted mutant war criminals: Charles Xavier and Erik Lensherr; and your lack of respect for your job title.”

“With all due respect –”

“No Nicholas,” the toad woman warned, cutting him off sharply.

“Do not think we are not grateful for what you have started, and for continuing to do the work your father had done,” the Asian council member added, hoping to smooth the blow of the decision a bit. “You are to be commended for your services. We will give you the highest honours–”

“I don’t want honours,” he said starting to grow frustrated. “I want to finish what I started. I want to –”

“Then you shouldn’t have lied about the alien’s escape,” the woman snipped, looking at the papers upon her desk. She hadn’t looked at him once since the meeting had started, and Fury had a rising suspicion that she had been the one to announce and call for the votes on this matter.

“I was trying to keep people from panicking. We have spotted him and are –”

“Our sources have found out otherwise. You haven’t a clue as to where Loki Laufeyson is and you haven’t been looking. Instead you have been throwing people around to random areas and making them chase around false leads.”

“They are –”

“Playing pretend on your orders!” She yelled finally looking at him. “Just because we give you funding does not mean you are in control of everything. It also does not mean you can spend it needlessly and lie to our faces!”

“I was only –”

“Stop!” she held up her hand. “No more excuses. No more lies. You have eight hours to pack your personal belongings, surrender over any knowledge you possess, and turn your badge, cards, and weapons in. This council meeting is over.” She pushed a button and her screen went blank.

The other council members shared uncomfortable glances as they shifted in their chairs or pretended to be looking around at nothing interesting.

“Nick,” the man with the bad toupee said; his voice gentle with a hint of regret. “We are honestly sorry about this. Please don’t fight it,” he begged. “We’ll send word to the other high ranking officers and set you up with a good pen–”

“No,” he said shaking his head. “I respectfully decline. In eight hours I will no longer be bound to S.H.I.E.L.D. and therefore should not receive compensation for my years of services.” There was a little bitterness in his tone that he couldn’t withhold. “I thank you all for your time. I will make my departure as quick and easy as possible.” He turned and headed out of the room.

“Nick wait! Your father –” But the monitors were set to cut off automatically once he left the speaking platform. He paused for a second and then exhaled furious. He had to remain rational and calm though. Nick took a deep breath before he made his way down the halls as though nothing had happened and that he was the one still solely in charge.

“Is it true?” Hill demanded once he reached his office. He turned to look her over. She was standing near his desk, files in one hand, phone halfway held up to her ear in the other. The look on her face said she knew the answer already. “Is it?”

Fury unclipped his security badge and tossed it down on the desk. “Finish with your phone conversation.”

Hill looked as though she had been slapped. She spun, pulling herself together and took a step toward the window. “Agent Hill here…Yes… No. Yes, no I understand…Yes, thank you. I will do my best…Thank you, it is an honour…Thank you…goodbye.”

“Congratulations,” he said as she hung up.

Her shoulders were stiff, her head was hung slightly, and her breathing was the creeping slow in and out before reality settled back and one started to panic. “Why didn’t you tell me?” she asked quietly, her eyes unable to look away from the file in her hand.

“Why would I?”

“Sir, I’m not–”

“I’m no longer your boss,”

She flinched and turned. “I can’t do this.”

“You can, and you will.” He then put a finger to his mouth. He gestured for her to remove her electronic gear and leave it, as well as her badge. She did so and followed him out, down the hall, and into one of the bathrooms. He opened each stall and searched around; pulling out a small device and activated it, scanning the walls. The light flashed green, signalling the room to be bug free.

“Listen to me carefully Hill,” he began as she locked the door behind her. “My last orders as your boss are for you to do anything and everything the council demands of –”

“Director –” she began horrified.

“– within reason!” he finished in a tone that was hard, to remind her that she was supposed to be listening. She straightened a bit, and crossed her arms, nodding for him to continue. He did, his voice lowering so that if someone where outside listening in they wouldn’t be able to hear him, “Delete everything that we have about Coulson after New York. I’ve already obtained the original files,” he put his hand to his chest, indicating the flash drive he kept upon his person at all times. “Don’t tell them what you know. If _you_ find the Avengers, don’t go after them. If _you_ find Loki, leave him alone. I’m going into hiding when I leave here. If I need anything, I’ll contact _you_ through a trusted ally. Do you understand?” She nodded somewhat hesitantly. “I know things don’t look good right now, but trust me, they can and will get worse if you fight it.”

“Permission to speak freely?”

“Granted from now on,”

She took a moment before asking, “Why me?”

“Because,” he said and then walked toward her. She looked up at him waiting for him to say more, but all he did was unlock and open the door. She moved out of his way and let him pass. He didn’t look at her or say another word. She realised then that he wouldn’t do so directly again, if ever.

Maria locked the door and went to the sink, turning on the water to slash some upon her face. The overwhelming responsibility that had just been thrusted upon her was making her feel sick. This wasn’t what she had wanted. This wasn’t what she had signed up for. “What am I going to do?” she whispered desperately. Her heart was beating out of control and she found it hard to breathe as the weight of the entire world, and all of its problems, suddenly fell upon her shoulders.

She slid down to the floor and began crying. It was the last time she could do so for a while, so she figured she might as well get everything out now. She cried and doubted herself and said “I can’t,” a billion times before she slowly began pulling herself together.

Maria Hill stood and washed her puffy face. Looking at herself in the mirror for a few moments, she gave herself over to reality. Taking a deep breath, she turned and unlocked the door before opening it and faced the world once more.


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two this week, just as promised! Check for another update on Tuesday! I should have a schedule of when the next chapters will be posted by then.
> 
> All mistakes are my own.  
> Please enjoy.

\----------------------24----------------------

Clint shifted and stretched as he rolled over and scooted his backside into Loki’s body. The god moved to accommodate and wrapped his arms around him. The archer gave a huff, “what time is it?”

“I haven’t the faintest,” Loki replied softly.

“My watch is in the kitchen…” he groaned. “I have to check. If I’m late again, Tasha will make my life hell,” he shifted again and sat up with some difficulty. The god let him go and waited as he started climbing over him. Barton stood and shook his limbs out, the black pants and baggy grey and white striped shirt he wore was rumpled from their nap.

It was the second day they had both passed out together on the couch. When Clint had returned later yesterday evening, Loki had still been there snoozing. He’d woken him and, after eating a little food they’d found in their fridge, they had both gone to bed. They had been far too exhausted to even try anything, much to both of their great disappointment.

The morning had proved much the same as the one before, soft morning kisses and small teasing touches before Natasha barged in to drag Clint away for some new routine workout. This time though Loki was left alone, so he spent the day looking around their living space for something to amuse him. When nothing turned to be useful, he spent the rest of the time sitting around thinking until Clint had returned. The “please-kill-me” look the burned-out archer had on his face when he stumbled into the living room cued Loki into opening his arms to welcome him to the couch and into much needed rest.

Clint grabbed his watch off the counter where he’d left it earlier and scratched the back of his head as he turned going back to the couch. He threw himself back on top of the immortal with a groan.

“Late?”

“No…worse…” he grumbled unhappily and without looking put his watch on the coffee table. “Early!”

Loki chuckled and yawned as his body fought back and forth to wake up and drag him to sleep. “Enough time to still sleep?”

“No! That’s the worst part,” he huffed and moved his head up to rest his chin on Loki’s chest. They shifted so that he was lying a little more comfortably upon him, his legs on either side of the god’s and his hands tucked under Loki’s back. “I don’t want to get up,” he half whined, half moaned, highly displeased.

“I’m sorry, I wish there was something I could do,” he said rubbing Clint’s arms soothingly.

“It’s fine,” he yawned and turned his head, pushing his hands up Loki’s back more and snuggled down. “Don’t let me fall asleep.”

“I believe laying down the way you are is not going to help.”

“Shhh,” he smirked and held the god close. “I’m just resting my eyes.”

“You said the same last night,”

“This is different. My ass is dead if I don’t get up and leave in ten minutes.”

“Is this ten minutes right to the minute she gave you to rest or a little before so you have enough time to –”

Clint pulled his arm out from under Loki and put his hand over the god’s mouth. “Alright cut it out.”

The god laughed and shook his head, moving the archer’s hand away. “Should I call for her to come get you now or –”

“I think you’ve become too comfortable with this couch.”

“Have I?”

“Yes. I’m glad, though.”

“Why is that?”

“You’re going to be sleeping on it from now until forever.”

Loki let a full laugh out, his amusement bouncing Clint’s body up and down as his chest shook. “So this is our new bed?”

“I didn’t say _I_ was going to sleep here, I said _you_ were.”

“You’re leaving me?”

“No, just kicking you out of the bed.”

“All because I wanted to help,” he sighed heavily shaking his head.

“Yeah well there are other ways,” he mumbled.

“And what are those?”

“Make friends,”

Loki swallowed and shrugged as some of his amusement bubbled out at hearing those words. “I’ve never been truly amazing at such a thing.”

“It would make me feel a little better if you would at least leave the room today,” he sighed and rubbed his face as he raised it to look at him. “Honestly, no one here is going to hurt you. You’ve apologised and given your word to help.”

“They do not trust me,”

“They may or they may not, but they trust me and what I say they’ll believe. You hiding up here isn’t going to fix anything. You have to go out there and show them that what Thor and I are saying is true.”

Loki scoffed and rolled his eyes. “Thor.”

“Don’t,” he begged getting up a bit and leaned over him, his free hand gently stroking the side of Loki’s face. “He’s trying his best. Please don’t give up so soon.”

Loki was silent for several moments before nodding, “Very well.”

“Thank you,” he smiled and kissed him.

That smile was all he needed to see. It warmed his heart and sent his spirit soaring. The bond tingled and made his skin roll with goose bumps as the kiss turned into several slow and lovingly happy ones.

They broke a part with a sigh of content and stared at one another for a bit. “What?” Clint asked sitting up to stretch when he noticed the odd look in the mage’s eyes. Loki shook his head as he bit his lip. “No seriously what is it?” he prompted and pushed at the god’s chest to get him to speak.

Loki slowly licked his lips and inhaled. “Will do you something for me?” he asked a little timidly

“Yes,”

“Train and then come ravish me later?”

The archer froze, his eyes widened a little as he stared into Loki’s; his mouth hanging slightly opened; his heart beating rapidly. “Say that again?” The god chuckled and shook his head. “Come on,” Clint taunted softly as he moved forward, holding the god’s chin a bit and brushed their lips together. Loki shook his head once more. Clint prettily pleaded, “say it again? For me?”

“Will you swear to it?” Loki demanded.

“I can’t swear if you won’t say it,” he nearly sang.

The god rolled his eyes, yet his grin widened. “Come ravish me later,” Loki slowed the words down and watched as Clint’s pupils blew with arousal.

“I’ll do it, under one condition.”

“What is that?”

“You go and talk to the others today.”

Loki made a face and then nodded after a moment. “Very well.”

“Then tonight?” he nuzzled Loki’s nose as he continued to teasingly keep his lips away, knowing that was all the god wanted at that moment.

“Tonight,” he breathed, making a small noise of satisfaction as Clint pressed his lips against his chin and then down the line of his throat. Loki gripped his arms and sighed in delight as he felt the archer’s sexual thrill run through him. “Clint…” he half pleaded and warned.

“Tonight,” he promised and kissed him fiercely, both melting a little. He quickly pulled away, with great reluctance, knowing that if he stayed a moment longer he wouldn’t be able to stop himself. He got up and scratching his head a bit, made for the bedroom to get his bow and quiver. “Don’t forget our deal.”

“Yes, I shall go down an attempt to make friends,” Loki sighed not looking forward to his end of the bargain.

Clint smiled at him as he opened the door. When he turned to go into the room, he was greeted by a chilly bucket of water to his face. “OH FUCK OFF NATALIA!” he shouted as she rolled past him and headed to the emergency stairs.

“Be on time then,” she shrugged with a laugh over his distress and left. He shot after her with a stream of curses and promises to end her life. Her amusement echoed up the stairs mockingly in response.

Loki sighed again as he rose off the couch and headed for the elevator, his stomach rumbling a little. He knew they still had those thin slimy meats in the fridge, however he had promised to leave the rooms, and this was as grand of a reason he could find to do so. As he descended, he wondered what he could find to eat in the common area and who would be there.

\-------------------------------------------------

“You look very nice,” Steve complimented Pepper as she entered the kitchen; her step just as bouncy and light as her fluttering heart and mood.

“Thank you,” she smiled, holding the small handful of flowers to her nose, and twirled around in her rich buttercream knee length flowing dress. She had styled her hair into a bun at the nape of her neck with thin two braids circled around its base. Her heels were as red as her lipstick and she wore a small thin gold chain around her throat. “Is lunch on our own again today or is there something planned?”

“Nothing special today, but I can make you something if you’d like?”

“I don’t want to put you through too much trouble,”

“Not at all,” he insisted and opened the fridge. “What are you in the mood for?”

“Do we have anymore pot roast?”

Steven laughed. “Yes, as a matter of fact we do. We have just enough for about two bowls. Want some with a few rolls?”

“Yes!” she sighed excited for an excuse to stuff herself with carbs. She took a seat at one of the island stools and fiddled with the elegant burning heart flowers as Steve began pulling the leftovers out of the fridge.

The elevator door opened as Banner stumbled out of the emergency stairs. He looked mildly flustered and kept rubbing his hand through his hair. “When did we buy a lion?” he half asked, half demanded as his feathers were ruffled up a bit more than usual.

“What?” the other two frowned confused.

Bruce pointed to the now closed door and moved his hand to rub at the back of his neck. “Clint! I was standing in the stairwell on my floor and he jumped down from the level above and roared at me. Like full on roar. I thought either he was going crazy or I’m actually losing it.” He looked at the two of them, fear replacing his confusion and anger, “I’m not losing it, right?”

“No. Natasha and he are doing some training race-tag thing,” Steve explained.

“Oh,” he sighed a bit relieved. “I thought they did that yesterday though?”

“I guess she extended it to today,” he shrugged apologetically. “Sorry, I’ll ask her to warn you from now on.”

“What’s the purpose?” Pepper asked.

“She says it’s to tune him into his aggressive nature and balance him out.”

“And this tag game will do that?”

“Sort of. I don’t really know much about it except she just pokes at him until he chases her and then they fight until she wins or they call it a draw.”

“Oh, well…guess we’ll just hide out in our room again today,” Bruce shrugged to himself, the other guy nodding in agreement. “How did the rest of the tour with Loki go?” he asked going to the fridge.

Pepper froze for a moment. Steve nodded his head with a tiny confident smile. “It went well. He seemed very interested in the library.”

“I think it’d be good if he found something useful to do with that room, even if he changed it into a place for him to meditate or do whatever he does with magic and stuff.”

“I agree,”

“I know he was allowed to read before they moved him the first time,” Bruce said pulling and apple out and polished it on the front of his shirt. “What’s up there?”

“A little bit of Shakespeare, a book or two of Twain, and I think the rest are just best sellers that were sent to Tony.” Steve ladled a good sized portion of the roast into a bowl and put it into the microwave. “Nat and I have been going out and collecting our own. I could snag some of hers and let him borrow them if he wanted? The ones I normally buy are war type strategy history books, and…well,” he gave a nervous awkward shrug.

Bruce nodded, understanding his meaning and agreed. “I might have a few herbology books, from my grandmother, which he might be interested in.”

“What do you suppose he _would_ be interested?”

“I’m not sure. I don’t even know if he even has any hobbies,”

Pepper shifted in her seat a little uneasy over the casual tone they were using when discussing someone that had attempted to kill them and everyone on earth not too long ago. The microwave beeped and Steve carefully pulled out the bowl and stirred it up before putting it back in. She used their brief window of silence to chime in. “Weather channel said the temperature for the rest of the month would be fairly chilly.”

“Yeah we should probably take Thor, Clint, and Loki shopping for winter type clothes,” Steve reasoned and went to the fridge to fetch the unbaked rolls he had stashed there the other night.

Pepper turned her face away and pressed her lips together. Banner watched her for a moment, both him and the other guy sensing her discomfort. He pointed to her flowers. “Tony?” he asked even though he already knew the answer.

It worked to distract her, for she melted a little and smiled brightly, sighing, “Yes.”

“Those are _Burning_ _Hearts_ , if I’m not mistaken, yes?”

“They are! And my most absolute favourite too,” she pressed them to her nose and inhaled deeply.

“How was your sneaky mission out on the town last night?”

“It was alright. We didn’t go very far. He was worried Fury would spring out from behind a bush and get him so we ate hotdogs near Central.”

“Worried?” Steve asked sceptically.

Pepper rolled her eyes. “He left his watch in the workshop. If something went wrong he couldn’t contact JARVIS. I swear if that system ever failed he’d forget his own name! He’s so dependent upon it it’s ridiculous.”

Bruce laughed, “Sounds like someone is jealous of the ‘other woman’, or man in this case.”

The elevator dinged and Pepper rolled her eyes at the scientist’s comment, turning her head just in time to see Loki emerge from the lift. She froze; her eyes going wide for a second before she looked away.

“Hello,” Steve called as he set the little balls of dough onto a cookie sheet and placed them in the oven. “Are you hungry?” Loki stared at all of them for a moment before nodding his head. “Great. Would you care for some leftover pot roast, or I could make you something else?”

“Whichever does not inconvenience you the most will satisfy?” He replied a touch unsure.

“Have a seat?” Banner offered holding his hand out to the island.

Loki hesitantly went forward and chose the stool furthest from Pepper. He kept his eyes averted and his hands folded in his lap, waiting patiently and silently.

“We were just talking,” Bruce explained, gesturing to the other two in the room, “about the weather. It’s supposed to get colder from here on out. Think you could deal with a shopping trip in a day or two?”

“Am I permitted to leave the grounds?”

“Why wouldn’t you be?” Steve shrugged setting Pepper’s hot bowl before her.

“I do not feel my behaviour, the last time I was free to go around this city, was entirely appropriate.”

“But you’re not going to do that again, right?”

“I have no intention of ever doing it again. I have pledged my word.”

“Then you’re fine,” Steve filled a bowl for Loki and set it into the microwave on high. Pulling out some napkins and a fork for Pepper, he turned and handed them over before leaning back against the counter and crossed his arms over his chest. “You made a promise and apologised. So long as you keep it and work to better yourself, we have no problem with you being here.”

The darkness growled unhappily from within Loki’s chest. He swallowed, closing his eyes for a moment and forced it back, before nodding. “Very well…I would like to see this city from its streets.”

Pepper choked on her food. She pressed a napkin to her mouth and held out her hand when Banner moved, ready for action. “Hot,” she gasped shaking her head. “I’m fine.” Steve quickly fetched her a glass of water and she downed it in a few gulps. Clearing her throat she dabbed at her lips and nervously laughed, “Sorry. I was just so excited to eat it. I should have let it cool a bit.”

Loki knew that wasn’t the truth, and he reasoned the other two knew it as well, yet they all let it go. There was a painfully awkward minute or two of silence. The microwave beeped and Steve went to stir the bowl and restarted it.

“Rolls will be done in a minute.” He offered leaning against the counter again, looking at Loki. “Would you like something to drink?”

“What is the usual beverage of this realm?”

“We’re on a strict no alcohol policy at the moment,” Bruce explained nibbling on the core of his almost completely eaten apple. “But we have juice, pop, milk, and water.”

“Anything is fine.”

“Are you allergic to anything?” the soldier asked going to grab a glass from the cabinet.

“No, Asgardians –” Loki tensed as the words stuck in the back of his throat uncomfortably. He glared down at the island counter space before him. “No.”

“Alright,” Steve nodded, not willing to push the subject. “Bruce?”

“Hm,” he mused and turned opening the fridge, “something tasty then?” He pulled out a bottle and twisted the cap of, carefully pouring the amber liquid into the glass Steve held out. The soldier set it before the god as Banner replaced the cap and drink container back into the fridge.

Loki picked it up and sniffed it before taking a sip. He raised an eyebrow and looked the beverage over before taking a proper drink.

“Well?”

“Delicious. Normally we sweeten our juices with honey and not sugar.”

“That’s America!” Tony shouted coming into the room with a smile on his face. “Hey gorgeous,” he kissed Pepper’s head and manoeuvred his way to the fridge. “Morning everyone!”

“Good afternoon,” Bruce and Steve said.

“Afternoon,” Loki quietly greeted.

“Tony I thought you were tinkering today?”

“I tinkered almost all day yesterday! Besides one of the circuits to the chest piece isn’t aligning correctly with the converters so I can’t make the centre piece blast energy.”

“Is there any discharge from the plasma panels?” Bruce asked; his brain in need of a good puzzle for the day.

“No, they’re not activating.”

“Did you use an EMI to protect the ignition coil drivers?”

“Did I use an EMI? What am I three!?”

 “Maybe something is aligned with the wrong charge? You did take that chest piece off of an older model and tried fusing it with this new one.”

Tony slightly tilted his head left to right quickly a few times as he thought and then shrugged. “I’ll have Jarvis run a diagnostic check later. For all I know it could be a bad chip or fried wires like _this_ big,” he held up his thumb and index finger only a hair’s width apart.

“I think that was almost English,” Steve joked to Loki, who was having just as much of a hard time keeping up with the bizarre conversation. He retrieved the god’s meal from the microwave and stirred it.

“Would you prefer we do it in French next time?” Stark sassed pulling out the milk and closed the door.

“You weren’t?” Steve pretend to be amazed as he moved aside so that the genius could get at the cabinets.

“Ouais, eh bien vous renifler spandex!”

“Tony,” Bruce and Pepper both warned.

Loki smirked into his glass and took another drink. Steve set the steaming bowl of meat and vegetables before him as well as a fork. “Thank you.”

“No problem, enjoy.”

“What did you eat yesterday?” Steve asked suddenly

“Pardon?” Loki said looking up as he picked up the fork and stirred the food around a bit.

“I was wondering if you ate anything. You never came back down. I didn’t know if you or Clint just…” he moved his hands together and shrugged realising he hadn’t a clue what he was trying to ask, only that it was becoming too vague and awkward.

“Oh, Clint found some cold meats in the cooling box and we made tiny sandwiches.”

“Oh,” Steve nodded a bit relieved.

“So where is your wife?” Tony asked as he poured himself a bowl of cereal. Everyone, but Loki, choked or gasped disapprovingly at his comment. “Or is it husband still? I don’t know how the titles would work for you two.”

“We would both refer to each other as ‘husband’,”

“Is it common in Asgard for two dudes to elope?”

“Monogamous male to male relationships are not uncommon in Asgard, however there are very few that survive till marriage. Clint and I have not yet performed the proper courting or ceremonial rites, therefore we would merely be considered bed companions.”

“Why don’t they make it?” he asked around a mouthful of frosted cornflakes.

“Monetary or lineage concerns. Many people marry for power, politics, or to ensure that their offspring will remain in good blood standing.”

“People don’t marry for love?” Pepper asked quietly, a bit of concern and disgust in her voice.

The god looked at her, surprised over her genuine curiosity and concern. “They do, yet not in the way you may imagine. They make a list of who they are compatible and will be the most successful with before proceeding to become familiar with them. There are some that do not care for such materialistic fancies and marry for their hearts without further weighing their options, but they are rare. Families have a say in final matters and details most of the time. Especially older families concerned with inheritance and social order. Many of my generation have turned their nose up at those things.”

“Good to know romance exists for other planets.”

“It is too strong of a thing to squish out.” He hoped his tone and small smirk helped reassure her rather than turn her off from speaking to him further.

“Thor mentioned something about pledging souls?” Banner asked picking out the seeds from his apple core to set on a napkin.

“Yes, it is part of the marriage ceremony.”

“And it’s for life, they can’t be broken right?”

“Not necessarily. There are ways to break the Eternal Oaths, such as if one is found to be harming the other or they have taken a lover without their spouse’s permission and it has put severe emotional strain upon their union. Both cases do not happen often; the latter being incredibly rare.”

“What does the process of binding involve?” Steve asked as he pulled the rolls out of the oven and set the sheet on the stove to cool for a bit.

He knew the solider asked that out of interest and not in the accusing tone the darkness was muddling his words to sound like. He pushed it back and focused on answering the question. “Someone to recite and bless the oaths; the couple to exchange a wedding gift and their rings; and finally they drink from the same cup of wine. It is followed by a massive feast where people make fools of themselves for either an evening or several days.”

“Not one for parties, huh?” Tony smiled and took another bite of his cereal.

Loki smirked down at his bowl, trying to hide the discomfort and anxiety he felt form being in their overwhelming questioning presence. He kept his voice and face from showing it as he looked up at them slowly. “I often find myself in a great deal of trouble afterwards.” Pepper froze at his words; Steve frowned as he puzzled over what that could mean; Bruce raised a curious eyebrow; and Tony gave him a ‘thumbs up’ with a cheeky smile.

“Trouble?” Natasha asked coming into the living room. In the short time he’d seen her last she had changed into short shorts and a tank top. Sweat glistened on her as she dabbed it up with a towel. Her feet where almost completely bare accept for a curious black looking band of fabric, which nestled between her toes and stopped just before the height of her arches on each foot.

“Asgardian custom talks. Loki’s telling us about marriage,” Bruce explained.

Steve quickly went to the fridge and pulled out her water bottle. “Training over?”

“Nah, I just had some time,” she laughed and accepted the drink from him gratefully. “I think I’ve pissed Clint off enough that he’ll be motivated to finish his own training for the day.” She took several gulps and handed it back, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand.

“What have you been doing?” Tony asked.

“Assassin hide-and-seek,” she said licking her lips and then added, “It’d be much more fun if we could scale the side of the building.”

“No, no scaling until lock-down is over,” Banner scolded.

Natasha made a face of unhappy disappointment and threw her towel over her shoulders. “Fine…”

Loki straightened his back as a wave of rage washed over him. The darkness spread out inside of him and began whispering things, filling his head with too much noise. He shivered and dropped his utensil, pressing his hand to his forehead and closed his eyes, inhaling sharply. The darkness giggled and stroked the insides of his head as though he were a beloved pet.

“Loki?” Banner asked concerned, watching him closely.

“It’s nothing,” he assured and swallowed taking a deep breath. “I…” he swallowed again and looked around unsure of what to say. They were all watching him. Waiting. Ready to strike.

_They’ll get you._

He inhaled and got up, his natural instincts telling him to flee. “I apologise. Please excuse me,” he stammered.

“Where are you going?” Bruce asked coming around the counter.

“A walk. I-I need a walk,” he quickly left down the hall toward the exit sign and into the stairwell.

“Do you think it’s something we said?” Steve looked at his friends after a few moments, feeling a little guilty once he realised how their questions must have seemed from the god’s point of view.

“I…I don’t know,” Banner shrugged and checked in with the other guy. He shook his head and indicated toward his heart. “His feelings…but not something we said…” he looked at the soldier. “Not anything directly.”

“He better not have gone to tell Clint where I’m at,” Natasha warned and sat at one of the stools. “He thinks I’m in the observation area.”

“No,” Tony shook his head. “He’s chaos and mischief, but he’s not a cheater or a snitch.”

“How would you know?” Steve asked.

Tony shrugged. “He’s loyal.”

“Now how could you possibly know that?”

“He wouldn’t still be here if it weren’t for Clint.” Steve opened his mouth to say something and Tony held up a hand. “Look bond aside or not, Loki _can_ leave, and he won’t. He won’t because Clint is here and he cares. People that care for others tend to be loyal. People who are loyal tend to be fair. Fair people do not cheat or snitch.”

“He also doesn’t eat a lot,” Romanoff commented looking at his untouched bowl.

“Is it the food?” Steve asked coming over to inspect it. “I mean it should still be good. It’s only been about two days.”

“It’s a social issue,” Bruce said. “I noticed it the other night. Every time Barton touched him or leaned into him, he’d eat something, but apart from that, he just pushed his food around.”

Tony put his empty bowl in the sink and lifted himself to sit up on the counter. “Do you think maybe we should limit the number of people around him? I mean a couple of months ago he did throw me out a window and bring aliens to the city. From what Thor has said to me, it sounds as though he has some major issues from what’s happened to him since he ‘fell’. I’m sure having all of us around at once took a toll on him just now.”

“Especially without Clint around to be a buffer and physical support,” Bruce added walking back into the kitchen area. “Thor said Loki doesn’t have many people he considers himself close too, and that he spent a lot of time on his own. If that’s the case, social anxiety explains his muted and almost subjugated behaviour around us.”

“Ha, that’s ironic,” Natasha snorted.

“How so?” Pepper frowned at her.

“He came here to subjugate the human race. Now the human race’s mightiest are subjugating him without having to do a whole lot.”

“I think from now on we should break meals into smaller units, just until he becomes comfortable around us.” Banner suggested.

“‘Around us’,” Pepper whispered, unable to stop the words coming from her mouth and the slight nasty tinge that went with them, “it’s amazing how fast he’s managed to weasel onto everyone’s good side.” She stopped embarrassed and flushed looking around. “I’m- I’m sorry!” she stammered covering her face. “It’s just really hard going from ‘this was the guy that nearly killed Tony’ to ‘this is a friend’ in only a few hours. Especially after the other night, I just feel…strange.”

“It’s fine,” Bruce kindly reassured her. “It’s taken us sometime as well…I’ll admit, even when he was sitting here speaking, it felt unusual a few times.”

“But he’s Barton’s soul-mate,” Natasha sighed, almost completely at peace with that truth. “And Barton is one of us; therefore Loki is part of the group. Just like you with Tony.”

“Uh,” Tony held up his finger, about to cop a mega attitude. “Pepper is a very important –”

“No she’s right,” Pepper held up her hand to silence him, a little flattered he was so willing to step up to her defence. She smiled apologetically at him and then shook her head, taking a deep breath, “I’m just going to need a little more time.”

“Well if it makes things easier, he can’t do you any harm. Even if he wanted too,” Bruce offered. “He’s barred by the bond he shares with Clint. Unless someone close to Barton tries to do him physical harm, Loki can’t hurt them.”

“What about someone not close to him?”

He shrugged; the other Avengers took a moment to puzzle over that question. “We don’t know. They never said…”

Pepper didn’t like that answer, yet when she turned back to her meal the memory of the other night popped into her head once more.

_“Why Loki? Why do you need that from me?”_

_“To remind you of what I am!”_

_“What are you then Loki!?”_

_“I AM A MONSTER AND I ABHOR MY VERY EXISTENCE!”_

She looked sadly at the warm meat and vegetables, her eyes welling up with tears. She sniffed and brushed them away quickly. He hadn’t been awake for very long, yet in that time if the people around her felt he wasn’t a threat and that he meant what he said, then why couldn’t she make the same effort to give him a chance. He hadn’t apologised to her yet, but she was sure that if he were given the chance he would.

Pepper couldn’t imagine living her life thinking that her existence was a waste. The amount of anger and fear he had spoken those words with…it hurt her in a way that she didn’t think was possible.

“Something wrong?” Tony asked coming over to her.

“No,” she shook her head and smiled up at him. “I just reminded myself that when I go to bed tonight I’ll be surrounded by my favourite flowers and I get to sleep next to my favourite man.”

Tony gave her a small smirk, his eyes telling her he understood what she was really emotional over, and kissed the top of her head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **"Ouais, eh bien vous renifler spandex!”** \- I don't claim to know French, I can't. I never studied it. I Google translated this. It should mean: "Yeah, well you sniff spandex!". If someone knows French and knows this sentence is wrong, please let me know and I'll change it. I just know that Tony is fluent in French.


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I'm thinking I'm going to try and aim for a Friday/Saturday weekly thing. I have about ten more chapters written after this one, so I think that's a safe plan.
> 
> This is still from the last chapter. It became super long and I didn't want it to stay with 24 or add it to start off the '"real" chapter 25' (as my fanfiction folder calls that particular file), because I feel it's very important that Loki and Thor get a little time to share their problems with each other. It just didn't fit well having anything else around it. I tried, I really did.
> 
> All mistakes are my own. I do honestly apologise for them. I should know better, really. I did find out a clever way, the other day, to remember how to spell "necessary" though. I'm an adult with bills and shit, I know, it's awful that I didn't know how. But look! Here it is (if you don't know, or if you do, spread the word!): "It is necessary for a shirt to have one **c** ollar and two **s** leeves." Eh? Eh? Right? Isn't that great. Okay, I'll shut up now. 
> 
> Please enjoy!

\----------------------25----------------------

Loki trailed his fingers along the wall as he climbed the stairs. He was deeply lost in thought, yet had kept the same incredibly slow pace without faltering; one sluggish step at a time up, a few steps to turn him toward the next set of stairs, and then back to one step by one step to carry him up to the next floor.

His was a bit surprised at finding his thoughts wished to be centred on his last encounter with Thor. It had not been what he had anticipated and he suspected the blond felt much the same. Thor’s entire attitude toward him was not what he had expected, even when he was there upon his waking. He had prepared himself for Thor to be angry, maybe too much so that he could not find the will to speak with him. Another he had imagined was for Thor to denounce their relations and most likely drag him back to Asgard in chains to face justice. He had not counted on him being…around. He had not counted on him saying things that were…pleasant or even going so far as to care for him personally.

It was unnerving and worried him so. He half expected Thor to walk up with a handful of guards and chains, demanding they leave at once. That this was just a show, something to put him off the edge, get his guard down, crush his hope just as he crushed Jötunheim. Teach him a lesson he’d never forget; one that he could dream about as he gazed at the white bright walls and slowly slip into the madness everyone thought him capable of.

The other half of him didn’t honestly know what it wanted from the situation, only that it felt good to not be so confided. To be able to walk around, breath, and think without someone pestering him for questions about ‘who he worked for’, ‘why he came to earth’, ‘what was the reason,’ and blah blah blah.

And then there was a small corner of his mind which fought to puzzle out the attempted midday meal he had fled from. They had all been so opened so nice…it bothered him. They were supposed to be upset with him too. They were supposed to glare, and whisper to each other, and exclude him from things. That was the way others had always acted toward him. That was the way things were done, no matter what they said or how they reassured that they forgave someone, it was just common to never fully trust. Wasn’t that the case?

It was what Odin had taught them, but their mother had taught them to understand. Odin had instructed them to be cunning; their mother instructed them to be clever. Odin had insisted they follow the rules to the letter; their mother had suggested they bend the rules or see between the lines for an alternative route. Odin had pressed that discipline and justice were best, regardless of how bloody the outcome; their mother had shown them that mercy and compassion were beautiful, regardless of the ending results.

Unfortunately, Odin’s teachings always seemed to be what the general public displayed. So instead of doing what he knew to be normal, The Avengers welcomed him, with metaphoric opened arms, as though he were a favourite cousin or new family member.

He snorted; he was technically a new family member. The kind no one really had wanted their child or brother to marry, yet once they realised Clint was not going to relent, they had been forced accept Loki, and give him a proper place at the table and their lives.

Their lives…he didn’t know if he truly wanted to be in anyone’s life…even with Clint he was still a tad unsure. He had been sure once. So sure, he had been willing to renounce his titles and abandon his status to live in the woods with him. To eat the food they would gather and sow together; to live in the house they would rebuild together; to make passionate love on the bed they would fashion together; to raise the children they would, undoubtedly, conceive together; to spend an eternity of sunrises and sunsets in each other’s arms; and celebrate the changing of the seasons and watch themselves grow old…

Loki stopped once he reached a particular set of stairs that where different than all of the others. He looked up and found they lead to a door. Where that went he hadn’t a clue, but he had come to this point, what was the use in turning back if he did not carry on to find out where the ending lead? Yet wasn’t that how he’d gotten himself into trouble in the first place?

He frowned and pushed those thoughts away as he took the last set up and turned the handle. The door gave way easily and opened to the outside world.

 _Outside…_ he hadn’t been outside in…forever. In reality, he knew he had stood not too long ago on a balcony and confessed his sorrows, further burdening the ones around him, but this was different. This was…open. This was…freed. He hadn’t felt free since the moment before S.H.I.E.L.D. had taken him into custody months ago. The drugs which had plagued his system, the lack of real light, and the fact he had not been given the option to physically move of his own accord made it seem longer. He realised everything around him felt like a horrid dream…everything but Clint…

He shivered and stepped out into the crisp afternoon air, mesmerised by the scene before him. When he had been up there last he hadn’t a care for the view. His goal had been to carry out his orders swiftly and, to some extent, successfully. On the lower balcony, the other evening, it had been too dark to appreciate the scenery and, from that view point, he could see more of the destruction he’d caused which made him feel shackled. But here…it was…so high, so…

“Beautiful isn’t it?”

Loki’s head snapped to his left and he found Thor leaning against the wall next to the door. He had his full uniform on, Mjölnir resting near his feet, and some sort of thin paper in his hands. The younger god nodded his head a bit, managing a soft, “Yes…it is.”

“I often come here to think. It makes me feel closer to home…I sometimes wonder if I were to just reach my hand out…if I would be able to touch it.” Thor demonstrated, his motions slow, and when he looked back at his brother, their eyes met.

Loki felt uncomfortable instantly. “I should leave you alone,” he said turning to go.

“Your company is welcome,” Thor rushed out, pushing off from the wall to stand hurriedly, the hand he had been reaching out to the sky was now extended toward Loki, as if pleading for him to stay.

“I am sure if we were to speak to others for their opinion on that subject they would not feel the same.” Although, with such a bizarre situation he had escaped from earlier, he wasn’t entirely sure that was true.

“It is welcome with _me_ ,” he corrected, silently praying that his brother wouldn’t leave.

Loki looked torn, he glanced at Thor’s hand and then at the door before swallowing and nodding his head. “If you are certain?”

“Most,”

“Then I shall for a short while,” he bowed his head and clasped his hands before his waist, rubbing his thumb on his skin nervously. It was a habit he’d adopted as a child and couldn’t give up. It meant he had either done something he felt guilty for, he was debating a serious choice, or he needed a favour to ask.

The familiar act made Thor’s lips twitch into a tiny grin. “Are you nervous over the ceremony?”

“What?” Loki looked up confused and then frowned shaking his head. “Clinton and I have not even begun proper courting rites. Why would an event with no existing date be troubling me?”

“Is it over the others downstairs?”

Loki took a moment to consider his answer. He looked down at his hands. “I honestly do not know. I fear my anxieties come from multiple sources.”

“Would talk of home still some of them?”

Loki’s mouth drew into a hard line and his shoulders tightened. “Such words may only worsen my condition.”

“I meant of mother…” Thor tried, hoping that their shared love for her would bring them closer once more.

He nodded after a moment and took a few steps out toward the edge of the roof. “Very well…it would not hurt to try.”

“She misses you,”

“I miss her,” he whispered looking out over the city.

“She had been so relieved to hear from Heimdall that there had been sightings of you. She asked me to bring you home.”

“I fear I do not have a home,”

“So long as she and I remain, you will always have a home in Asgard.”

Loki nodded, unable to find any sort of words to counter such a statement. “How is she?” He turned is head slightly and caught the sight of Thor moving closer to him out of the corner of his eye.

“Much better now that she knows you are living…she took ill not long after you…” the thunder god bit his lip and stopped a few feet behind his brother. He took a breath and couldn’t keep the sadness from his voice, “Why?”

“You know why I did it,” he snipped a little tightly and began picking at his nails, his eyes turning back to the buildings before them.

“Do I? Or do you hope that someone will have the answer because you find you do not?”

He couldn’t stop himself from tittering over Thor’s words. He was so perceptive when he wished to be; Loki knew he really ought to give him more credit. “I suppose it is a bit of both…”

“I wanted to go after you,” he confessed softly.

Loki sniffed and looked down at his shaking fingers. “I am glad you did not.”

“I do not share that feeling.”

“The edges are a bad place, Thor. They would have broken you.”

“At least then you wouldn’t be broken and alone.”

Loki let out a choked small laugh, part of him wanting to burn with anger and yell at him for his stupidity, and the other just wanting to cry. He felt Thor move closer and tried not to shrink away when he rested a comforting hand upon his shoulder. “How long did they give you to collect me?”

Thor closed his eyes and sighed. This was not what he had wanted to talk about, yet he knew that if he tried changing the subject it would only be another unwanted secret between them. “Until the spring. I bargained for you to remain here until then.”

“Here under what conditions?”

“You explain why you were working with the Chitauri.”

“For,” Loki corrected in a hushed tone. “I was working _for_ their master.”

Thor turned his face away and pleaded, “Do not speak his name.”

“Ah, so you already know who _he_ is?” Loki crossed his arms over his chest and took a few steps away. He shrank into himself the moment his brother’s supportive hand left his shoulder.

“There aren’t many who would search for the Tesseract…those that do often end up in the histories. I have my suspects.”

“Five worthless fools…” Loki shook his head back and forth. “And now I am one of them.”

“You are no fool and you most certainly aren’t worthless.”

 _He lies!_ the darkness hissed, causing Loki to jump slightly. He shivered as the voices twisted within him.

Thor had seen his behaviour and frowned concerned. “Loki?”

“If you already have an idea of who now holds my shackles, why do you not take me from here? I am sure Odin is tired of waiting around. The citizens must be itching to see me locked away,” he said, becoming bitter for a moment, before that emotion was gobbled up by the entity and he was left as a void once more, “…properly…like the rest of my kind…” He half-glanced at Thor. “If they are still alive…” he added softly with very little doubt that any were.

“You are Asgardian.”

“No,” he shook his head and turned to full look at his brother. His self-hatred apparent in the angry tears spilling from his eyes and in the way he gripped his upper arms tightly. “I am not. I never had a future there.”

“You did,”

“As what?” he spat glaring at the ground. “Your play _thing_? I was a hostage, a bargaining chip, I –”

“Loki stop,” Thor went up to him.

Loki took several steps back, holding his hands out defensively. “No! You stop! You can’t even begin to fathom what I feel over this! What I have suffered for someone else’s sins. What I still suffer!” He took a moment and swallowed composing himself. He drew his arms around himself tightly and turned away to quietly finish. “I have and will always be a mockery.”

“This is untrue,” Thor sighed and looked at him sadly.

“Oh isn’t it?” he challenged with a smidge of bitterness.

“Yes. You are a Prince of –”

“Don’t,” he rolled his eyes and stalked away from him, already exhausted. Staying had been a poor choice, yet he couldn’t find it in himself to stop talking. “I’m tired and sick to death of ‘born to be kings’ speeches and ‘prince of’ titles. They are false. Empty. They do not serve any purpose outside of Asgard or the few realms she is on trading terms. No one cares if you are a king, or a prince, or a lord, or a whore. They’ll slit your throat to steal the clothes on your back if they feel like they need the entertainment. They’ll even sell you out over nothing and stab you in the back when you’re facing them dead on.”

“Then they have no honour,”

“Honour,” he shook his head and had to stop himself from rolling his eyes again. “What is honour?...It is just as empty as your silly titles…and your silly wars, and your silly belief in the good in the worlds.”

“You can try to act indifferent –”

 “Oh I can?”

“–and pretend as though you are still my enemy, yet I know better.”

“Oh you do?”

Thor took a deep breath. “Loki, please.”

“What? Please just bow, and scrape, and thank you for granting me extra time? When you _drag_ me to Asgard, and you’re _going_ to have to for the show and the praise, do not expect a thank you or me throwing myself in the way of a blade for you. I can’t stand here and act as though playing friends to wait out the inevitable is going to make my crimes any less or my sentencing any better.”

“Then do not play,”

“What, would you have me pretend as though nothing’s changed between us?”

“Nothing has,”

“Oh but it has.” He turned to look at him. “Everything’s changed. The universe has changed!” he shouted throwing his arms up and paused until his echoed words had faded. “Everything has and I refuse to indulge in such a game any longer.”

“Then stop and honestly tell me what has befallen you. I’m listening. I hear! I am pleading for you, ready to know what I can do and how to best to help you.”

“You only care for yourself,” he brushed off Thor’s remarks. The darkness was joyously swimming in his anger and misery. It made him sick to see and feel it moving within him, almost like a growing child, accept it was all over, and not just concentrated within his centre. It moved within his stomach, within his chest, within his mind, within his limbs, within the outer parts of his soul.

He opened his mouth to speak again, but Thor’s patience had met a wall. He took him by the shoulders firmly and gave him a small shake. “Loki, listen to me!” The trickster stared at him shocked and struck speechless. Thor could feel him stiffen under his touch but he knew if he backed down his words wouldn’t be properly heard now. “I beseech you to cease these thoughts! I have never thought of you as beneath me. You are and have _always_ been my brother. I always thought of you being by my side, no matter who ruled. When father chose me, I made plans with the council and advisors, for I wanted there to be a place for you to help me. I _need_ your wisdom. I _need_ your tricks. I _need_ my other half.”

Loki blinked several times and looked away biting his lower lip. Thor pulled him into a tight embrace and was grateful that he was not met with sudden resistance or sharp words. “You don’t mean that,” Loki whispered, his body shaking from the effort to hold back his guilt now that he could see the truth in Thor’s eyes. The darkness receded within him, sated for the time with what he had given it, yet remained uneasily watchful. “You speak yet you do not realise your words!” he said pushing at him a little; the hope of him having such a bond with his brother again was all wonderful to take in. It hurt and instinctively he tried fighting against it. “I am Jötunn! No one should want or need me!”

“I don’t care that you are Jötunn, for you forget that there is some part of me that is as well. When you fell I,” he took a breath and tried to force the words out. He had held this pain so close for so long that his heart was reluctant to bleed again. “I blamed myself. I refused the crown. By the nine, I moved back into our old rooms!” A single tiny sob of disbelief slipped from Loki. Thor only held him tighter. “I used to go out to the end of the Bifrost and stand there for hours. I shouted for you, I tried using a rope to climb d–”

“Oh you are such a sentimental fool!” Loki whispered harshly, even though Thor’s confession had caused his heart to begin to warm and his stomach to twist from grief.

“I prayed for hours for your return. I even had the servants go in and keep your rooms up so that when you came home they would look just the way you left them.”

“Stop…” Loki begged and moved his arms. Thor was horrified for a moment that he was about to be blasted across the roof, but was tremendously surprised when he felt Loki’s hands, one at the centre of his back, the other on his shoulder blade. “Stop talking you giant oaf,” he hissed tightly.

“I do not mean to cause you more despair,”

“You always do,” he sobbed with a small laugh.

Thor let out one of relief and squeezed his eyes shut tightly, reciting a thousand grateful prayers of thanks.

“I…am sorry for my words earlier.”

“You spoke from the heart. Do not ever be sorry for that.”

“I…I want to make amends.”

“I know. I want to help you.”

“I…I have something…” Loki began but gave a small cry and tensed as the darkness stabbed at his chest.

 _Keep silent,_ it hissed unhappily. _We would not have you speak ill of us._ It drifted around his tongue, preventing him from finishing his confession. Thor did not say anything, which Loki was more than grateful for. He continued to rub soothing circles on his back as they stood in that embrace, waiting for their tears to subsided. They both let go slowly, with a little awkwardness, as they wiped their eyes and sniffing, trying not to make eye contact until they had pulled themselves together.

“You had something to say?” Thor tried as he cleared his throat and dusted his hands.

“What? Oh…” he felt the darkness stir again and chose something else. “The younglings,” Loki smoothed his hands on his thighs nervously. “How are they?” The darkness slunk away, threats still drifting to him as it settled back once more.

“Baldur has grown a great deal and Týr was attempting his first steps,”

“Already?” his voice was light, happily surprised, and it was a shock for even him to hear a small chuckle escape his lips. “I remember when he was born.”

“It rained,” Thor smiled and sniffed, touching at his nose to double check that it wasn’t running.

“Flooded is a much better term. The ground level was at least an inch under. The gardens were ruined!”

“Thankfully it was autumn.”

“Yes, I would have hated to see mother’s flowers destroyed. She always works so hard.”

“She didn’t plant anything this season,” Thor said, mirth falling from his face.

Loki looked him over. His brow furrowed, “Nothing?”

“Only one…the Yggdrasil’s bloom,”

“Tradition calls for that,” he scoffed and turned rubbing at his forehead.

“She was prepared to let it die.”

Thor’s words stopped him. Loki looked at him over his shoulder and then down at the ground, trying to think of a way to change the subject. “I see you changed your vambraces. I thought you’d never let the old ones go.”

“You see yet you have not,” he held his arm out, waiting for Loki to turn and look at them.

He did and froze for a moment. “You shouldn’t have done that,” he said, staring at them as though he would bite him.

“Why not?” Thor gave a small laugh, as though his reaction was silly.

He gritted his teeth together unable to give Thor a proper answer. Instead, he turned and walked to the other side of the roof. “So we have until the spring?” he asked softly. “What should I expect upon return?”

“Mother’s tears of relief and joy,”

“Odin’s anger,” he stared off into space and rubbed at his left wrist anxiously.

“You will see your children,” Thor walked to him, trying to focus on the positives.

“Everyone’s scorn and contempt,”

“I know Lady Sigyn would return to court,”

Loki paused. “I was unaware that she had left it.”

“She hasn’t been there for a time now,”

“She loves court. Why would she do such a thing?”

“Mother suggested her to retire to grandfather’s country home. She took the news of your passing very hard and faced a lot of ridicule from having befriended you.”

He laughed ruefully, “I’m sorry I encouraged our companionship then.”

“She does not, and neither should you.”

“Although I am still unclear if she kept on because she felt she would benefit from it or because she honestly enjoyed my company.”

“You made it very clear that marriage was no longer an option after,” he inhaled quickly as he stopped the words from leaving his mouth. Shame washed over him and he hurried to amend his offense, “I apologise. I didn’t mean to bring –”

“I was going to regardless,” he cut him off quickly and added a little nicer, “It is fine.”

Thor asked his question with great caution, for this was a territory that, no matter how many centuries passed, would always be a fresh and very deep wound for the younger god. “What causes you to break your vows now?”

“He looks like him…” Loki said softly and gazed down at his hands. “Not a lot, but a little…just enough that I knew it was him.”

“Is that why you –”

“Yes.” He cut in bluntly. The terror and pain this topic caused him always made him feel on edge. “Do you know how long I prayed for this? Now that I have it…I don’t want it…” he finished in a hushed tone, not even daring to loudly show defiance or ungratefulness to this miracle he had been blessed with.

“Don’t want it?” Thor asked slowly as he frowned confused. “But Loki –”

“I know! But if we are to be separated because of my unavoidable imprisonment when I return to Asgard –”

“Father wouldn’t –”

“Or worse, he dies!” he shouted and covered his face with his hands, taking a moment to breathe before he continued in a lower tone, and crossed his arms over his chest, “I…I don’t think I could recover again.” He looked over at his brother, tears shinning in his eyes, his heart clinching impossibly tight. “I don’t think I’d want too…”

Thor was silent for a moment. “Is that why you let go?”

Loki looked down at his brother’s vambraces and then nodded his head slowly as he realised the real reasons behind his actions. “Yes…I believe so.” He glanced up at Thor and then to the ground. “I knew Odin wouldn’t let me get away with what I had done…I saw the hypocrisy and heard all the lies for so long that suddenly nothing felt real. We’d been raised to think _this_ was good and _this_ was bad and that the Golden People were heroes. They weren’t. They are just as wicked as the stories they created to scare their children. They frightened us out of befriending the Jötunns or staying out past sundown or even speaking to each other. We lived with such hate. We grew from soils that were so polluted with it, that it rotted our personalities and made us see only one side of everything. The side Odin desired.”

“What do you mean?”

“We saw the lower class, yet do we honestly know or understand how horribly they suffer? We saw the guards with their bright suits and their strong bodies, yet when we went to some of their houses, everything was muted old worn and broken. We saw how wonderful and majestic Asgard’s shrines to each noble’s egos are, yet I still found Jötunheim’s frozen disgraced desolation gorgeous. The ruins of the once ‘great’ central city; the stench of pride decaying slowly; the pieces to the whole that seemed to be missing; the things we’d only read of in books was finally under our feet and it was…” he took a breath to still the wonder that had risen up inside him at such a memory. “I…I don’t know if I thought it so beautiful because of those things or because it was my real home…I couldn’t get that out of my head once I saw my skin change…once your promises to put them back into their place and Odin’s history lessons echoed in my head. I couldn’t get it out!”

He hissed and held his hands to the sides of his head. “I kept hearing it all over and over again! I couldn’t sleep! I kept having dreams, where you come back from exile and held me down before the court. I was… _blue_ and so _Jötunn_ , and not what everyone believed. I saw my children dragged through the streets, laughed at, and showered with rotten food and waste! I saw everyone turn their backs on me, mother cry and run away in horror, I felt when Odin passed judgement and I was forced to work deep within mines for the rest of my life until I was finally put back into my place and it drove me insane!”

Loki took a moment, and several deep breaths, to calm himself before he lowered his hands and began rubbing a spot on his arm. He stared at the ground and said slowly, “Everything I’d ever known…it was all a lie…I took so much comfort in lies that I’d never even suspected Odin’s greatest one was myself…and I…I didn’t feel real.” He looked up at Thor and then away when he felt his eyes begin to sting. “I didn’t know what to do, so I tried getting rid of it all. I thought that if I did what he could not, what you hadn’t been able too, I thought…it wouldn’t matter what I really was. It wouldn’t matter that my skin is a horrid colour, or that my eyes are red ‘like the blood of my victims’, or that it is forever branded into my skin that I am a bastard of a monster king.” He took a moment and closed his eyes.

“I thought that I could make amends for what I’d done after… _he_ died,” Loki swallowed. “And then I realised it was all a rouse. Odin had never meant any of it. He did it to keep the people in fear, to keep them under his rule, to keep me from revealing myself if I ever found the truth…and I didn’t want any of it,” he shrugged. “I didn’t want those lies…I only wanted to be with _him…_ so _badly_ ,” he pressed one of his fists to his mouth and withheld a sob as the wounds finally opened and bled fresh within his soul. “I was willing to kill myself,” he hissed and bit at a knuckle, his body shaking again, “I was willing to do it, to keep Odin’s filthy lies, because when I fell…I realised…I wouldn’t be that lie any longer. I wouldn’t be that dark secret he was so scared of everyone knowing…I wouldn’t be me. I wouldn’t be anything but my soul…and I would pass. I prayed I’d be taken and reborn quickly and that in my next life I’d find better luck.” He looked at his brother, his mouth twitching as he fought to keep it in a small miserable smile. “I only wanted the chance to feel real again…but it seems the Norns have other plans…” he finished quietly and turned his face away.

Thor swallowed and moved closer to him, putting a comforting arm around Loki, pulling his brother’s shoulder to the centre of his chest and held him there. “You know I’ll love you no matter what. There is a part of me that knows I shouldn’t, yet that part is foolish; that part is a piece of the former me; the stubborn, selfish, blind me. I don’t want to be that any longer, just as you do not want to be those lies.” He wrapped his other arm around him, “My brother, _please_. If we are to get you through this, you have to trust me.”

“Oh you are still a fool,” he sighed and closed his eyes tightly as he brought his hands up to hold the arm that was secure and comforting across his chest to him more. “I’ve never been able to not trust you. No matter how jealous, mad, or filled with the hatred I think I feel for you. There is still an idiotic part that wishes for you to prove me wrong.”

“We two idiots,” he sighed, pleased when his eyes caught sight of Loki’s lips twitching upward. “Does he know?”

He shook his head. “No…”

“And you have no plans on informing him of such?”

“No,” he shook his head again, this time a little faster. He shrugged and covered his face with his hands once more, “How would I?”

“Perhaps not now, but I am sure there will be a time in the future.” Thor rested his forehead against Loki’s temple, now in an embrace they often had done when they were children trying to comfort each other. “Do not lose faith.”

“I’d never want to again.” He rubbed his eyes and took a deep breath. “My children?” he tried changing the subject, his voice breaking. He cleared his throat and tried the question again.

“They are a fine.”

“How did...” he covered his mouth with his hand, embarrassed remorse settling inside of him.

“How do you imagine? Their parent passed…not well. The triplets were the only ones that did not show their devastation. They cried and mourned appropriately, yet were reserved. Thinking now I feel they already knew the truth.”

“Hela can see the future,” Loki reminded him.

Thor gave a small smirk that faded into regret. “I forget…I haven’t been a very good uncle either.”

“You’ve been a fine uncle and…a more than understanding brother.”

“I won’t abandon you,” he vowed determinedly.

“Even if I were to show you my true form?” challenged Loki, a small piece of him still sceptical.

“No,” he shook his head slightly. “The Thor you think I am exists no longer. We have both changed: for worse and for better.”

“Do you think it started when we moved into separate rooms?”

“I believe it started when we decided our paths in life. I chose might and you chose magic.”

“We were so young…it couldn’t have been that long ago.” Yet looking back Loki knew Thor was right. It might not have been apparent then, yet the wedge had been set in between them at that moment and every time something small happened, the universe drove it down, splitting them further; creating monsters out of their minnow problems.

“I’m sorry for making you feel inferior,”

“I’m sorry for stabbing you and trying to take over Midgard,”

“I’m sorry for never asking you what was wrong. When I returned, I should have kept a cool head.”

“If you’d have asked I might have frozen it for you,”

They both laughed softly, the awkwardness slowly easing away to something similar to what had been between them before. Something they both wanted and feared their relationship to be again.

“Loki?”

“Yes Thor?”

“When we return to Asgard, I will do everything within my power to help you. I swear this.”

“I know.”

“Clint is a great man,”

“The best,”

“I am very happy you found him again.”

“As am I,”

“This time…I’ll fight to make sure that what happened last will not happen ever again,”

“Thank you,” he whispered and closed his eyes once more, both of them tightening their hold on the other. It was the first time in a very long time that he felt…real. Very real. And it shocked him that he had found such comfort in his brother and not in Clint this time. Things were changing, he could feel it. He was frightened, yet he knew he couldn’t give up. Even if Thor would allow him too, he had to keep moving forward. He had promised.


	26. Chapter 26

\----------------------26----------------------

Coulson sat back in his bus seat with a sigh and checked his watch. A few more hours and he’d be back in the city and then after that he’d be at the Avenger’s front door. Or back window…whichever one he found easiest to sneak into.

“Is this seat taken?” a man with a long greying beard, shades, a visually impaired walking stick, and a floppy hat inquired.

“No, sir. You may sit if you want,” Phil smiled and gestured to the seat, not really looking at the old man.

He took his time taking off his pack, trying to find and then push it into the space under the seats before finally fumbling to sit down. After he’d adjusted and settled into his spot, he folded up his cane. “You normally let strangers sit near you?” he asked mildly.

“Only the strangest ones,” Phil grinned looking out of the window. “It’s good to see you,” he added in a lower tone.

“Is that supposed to be funny, son?” the man snapped bitterly, his voice a warning that he wasn’t up for games.

“Sort of,” he shrugged and leaned back glancing at him. “I’m Grant,” he offered his hand out to the ‘stranger’.

“Nice to meet you Grant, I’m Marcus,” the man replied ignoring Coulson’s hand and moved his hat to cover his face more. “I’d like to sleep now, so if you wouldn’t mind shutting up, that would be much appreciated.”

“I’ll leave you alone to sleep in peace.”

“Good,”

“Sleep well Marcus,”

“Motherfucker what point of ‘shut up’ and ‘much appreciated’ don’t you get?”

Phil had to stop himself from laughing at how ridiculous his life was at times. At least he knew this trip wouldn’t be boring. However a more pressing and serious thought suddenly occurred to him. If _he_ was here…then that meant that things at S.H.I.E.L.D. had taken a turn for the worse. Phil had to get to the Avengers and fast.

He checked his watch again and then frowned out the window.

\-------------------------------------------------

Clint slipped into bed with a groan. The third day of workouts Natasha had put him through, followed by another game of hide-and-seek, were the evil bastard children of Circus boot camp and the S.H.I.E.L.D. advance training courses. Oh his everythings were sore…

Loki shifted and turned on the side light as he woke from his evening nap. “I was beginning to wonder if you had become lost…”

“I wish I had,” he groaned again and held his ribs. He was pretty sure at least one of them were broken and his thigh hurt from where he’d fallen trying to do hurdles.

The god moved over to him and set a hand to his chest. “Did you trip today as well?”

“Natasha threw the door opened and the knob got me as I lunged forward.”

Loki shook his head and pulled Clint’s hands away so that he could run his palm over the darkened skin. “Fractured…” he sighed.

“Broken?”

“No…just deeply cracked. I can mend it.”

“How about my leg?”

Loki set a hand on either of his legs. “Muscles are over worked and bruised,” he flicked his eyes up to look at his face and then back on where his hands were, “As if suffering from a sudden fall.”

“I didn’t fall!” He had.

“I never insisted you had,” he said gently. “I was only making a comparison.”

“Oh…” he sighed. “What do we do?”

“Well _I_ can do something to take the pain away, for now, and set something up to help everything mend overnight.”

“What’s it going to cost _me_?”

“Rest and perhaps some time to spend together tomorrow?”

Clint exhaled and turned his face away. “Looks like I’m going to have to break that promise…again.”

“I believe I can let it slid this once.”

“You said the same thing yesterday,”

“Shush,” Loki put a finger to the archer’s lips and then set his hand over the area. He pushed on it slightly, his hands glowing with a pale teal light.

Barton stiffened as the sharp tingling knocked his breath out. There was heat, a small amount of pain, and then a soothing rubbing motion as Loki’s palms massaged the area.

“Better?”

“Much,” he inhaled, relieved to not find any discomfort or resistance. Loki did the same to his thighs, taking extra time on the spot he’d found which made Clint’s body tense in discomfort.

“How does that feel?”

He could only gratefully sigh, “Thank you.”

“Come to bed,” the god whispered leaning his face forward, brushing his lips against Clint’s. The archer followed him up and across the sheets to the far side, where the god lounged back among the pillows he had gathered there. He held out his hand invitingly. Barton took it, pressing kisses to the long fingers and pale palm as he crawled on his knees to Loki’s side.

“I know you said ‘rest’, but that word in my vocabulary also means –”

“If you do too much you’ll damage the magic before it has time to properly settle,” Loki warned, threading his fingers into the archer’s hair. “Lay by me?”

The look in his eyes and the small plea in his voice made Clint’s restless horny desires extinguish instantly. He lay next to him, draping the god’s right arm over his shoulder and clasped his left hand within it, pulling them closer together. He took his other hand and brushed it along Loki’s chin. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Loki looked away, resting the fingers from his free hand upon his brow.

“Did you leave the room today?”

“No, yesterday was more than enough,”

“Loki –”

“The box,” he gestured to the far wall where a giant flat screen TV was hanging. “Is it similar to the ones we acquired for Selvig?”

“Yes, but this one is for entertainment, not science.”

“I haven’t a clue how to control it,” he confessed a bit frustrated, as though he’d been trying to all day.

Now that Clint thought about it, if he hadn’t left the rooms, what had he been doing all day? Yesterday was obvious: they took a nap; he went down to the kitchen and then spent most of the day on the roof; and then Clint had found him passed out on the bed still in his day clothes. He had looked so cute relaxed into the sheets, his hands up near his face, his legs curled in slightly, his dishevelled hair fanning out around him. Clint honestly hadn’t the heart to wake him just because he wanted sex. He had, though, accidentally woken him up when he took his shoes off, but after several dozen kisses, they had decided they were both far too tired and promised to try again tomorrow.

Now, instead of asking the questions that buzzed around his head, he pointed toward the remote across the way, “that is the controller.” Loki pointed a finger and the object floated toward Clint, who reached out and took it from the air. Refusing to let the god’s hand go, he used his thumb to gesture. “These are buttons, you push them. This one turns it on,” he pointed it and turned the device on. “This controls the volume for sound, this for the channels,” he demonstrated the two pushing on the up and down sections. “And this is the button to take you to the guide, where it shows you all of the stations available.”

“What is on the surface now?”

“A crime show,”

“I do not want to watch that,” Loki confessed. The sight of bodies covered in blood on the city streets made his chest tighten and his stomach queasy.

“Then we click the guide button, and tada! Look at all of these channels.” He flipped down several until he came upon one showing Disney movies. “Oh I love Hercules!”

“Who?”

“Hercules, he’s a warrior, son of Zeus, has lots of strength and a nice body. Weird ears though.”

“Herakles?” Loki puzzled over the sparse details the archer had given him.

“Yeah that’s another of his names,”

“Oh that insufferable oaf,” he rolled his eyes irritated at the thought of him, before looking down at Clint, jealously demanding, “How do you know him?”

“The movie?” he frowned, confused over his sudden anger.

“Movie?”

“The movie picture thing – they made a cartoon of him,” he pointed to the TV. “We’re just in time for the beginning. Look we can even rewind it back so you don’t miss the first minute and a half.”

“I do not desire to watch a… _thing_ about that ungrateful blundering bastard.”

“None of this _movie_ is accurate anyways,” he said rising up a little to look down at the god. “They have Hera as his biological mother and Hades as the bad guy.”

“Why would they do that?”

“I don’t know. They needed a villain and they figured the god of death was the best choice,” he settled down beside Loki and turned the volume up as the movie rewound on the screen. A thought suddenly occurred to him. He turned his face up to the god and waited until he stared back at him. “You make it sound as though you knew him personally?”

“Yes, I’ve had the unfortunate honour to meet him several times…” he said flaring his nostrils slightly.

“Do the names Dionysus and Enyo mean anything to you?”

“Dionysus is a drunken fool; however, if you can catch him on a semi-sobering day, he is pleasing enough to talk with I suppose. Enyo is one I would never desire to cross. She has a hideous temper. Lovely legs. She’s an excellent runner.”

“Okay so I know you and Thor are based off of Norse mythology god stuff, but are you telling me that all of that other shit is real too?”

“It is not ‘shit’. It was a way for people, who had little to no means of communicating great distances with each other, to connect. It was a way for them to explain their origins and try to understand the world around them. Things were much different back then. My first trip to Midgard, they used bronze for their weapons and passed stories down from generation to generation through words. No one knew what a book was. People who could use magic, see into the future, invented things, or were of another culture were foreign. They were revered, spoiled, and prayed too in times of trouble.” He lowered the tone of his voice and looked down at his feet, bending on of his legs slightly up and rested his hand on his knee. “Believing in something is a very powerful thing. Even if the ones they prayed too and trusted as gods are nothing more than the original dwellers and guardians of the realm. It does not make the stories any less true or any more false, and it does not debase them to ‘shit’.”

“Sorry,” Clint winced. “I didn’t mean to offend you.” Loki didn’t say anything. Clint added, “Poor choice of words….Can you forgive me?”

Loki realised if he didn’t say anything it would only make something sour between them. He chose to sigh and rubbed at his forehead, his voice softening, “No, I am being over sensitive. I apologise. Please play your thing.”

“You’re going to watch it?”

“I may not get on with the infuriating and selfish brut, however I am curious as to what his legacy has left.”

“Well I’m just going to tell you now, you won’t find that here,” he laughed. “This is Disney: everything has a happy ending and the original story points don’t matter. It’s made for kids, as a stepping stone to get them interested in something and boost their imagination.”

“That still does not yet explain as to why Hades is a villain,” he grumbled a bit, horribly confused, but somewhat curious over the thing they were about to watch.

Clint snuggled up next to him and pushed the play button. “Shush and just watch.”

\-------------------------------------------------

“Someone broke into the house the other day,” Pepper said, an edge of anxiety in her voice, as she rushed into the bedroom.

“What? I thought you said Malibu –”

“No Tony,” she said shaking her head. “ _The_ house: your family’s home.”

The tool he had been holding to fix the ceiling light fell out of his hand. “Pep,” he said swaying a little on the stepladder.

“Tony!” she rushed over and helped him safely down and over to the bed to sit. “It’s alright; I’ve already called the police.”

“I’m going,” he said jumping up and headed toward the door.

“You can’t!” she insisted, pulling him away from it and put herself in the way before him.

“Pepper that’s my –”

“I know but you don’t even know who it is.”

“You don’t either!”

She put her hand to his chest and made them both take a step back. “I called in your private security too. They’re going in right now to see if anyone is still there. I need to head to the police station for their assistance.”

Tony turned walking away from her frustrated. “I just –”

“I know…that’s why I need you to stay here,” she went over and kissed his cheek. “I’ll be back once we figure out the situation. Do you want me to bring the chief here?”

“No…” he sighed massaging the back of his neck roughly. “I’ll meet you all over there tomorrow. It’s…‘the day’ anyways. All of us agreed to stay inside until…god is September almost over already?” he rubbed his face and sat down on the foot of the bed exhausted. It had just been May the other week…hadn’t it?

“I’ll call you if something changes,” she promised, gently playing with some of his hair before kissing the top of his head. “Do me a favour.”

“Yes?”

“Shave and get a haircut? I’ll make it worth the effort.” She straightened with a small grin, hoping that little tease would distract him from their shared worry over the invasion of his privacy. It did, she could tell by the way he watched her hurry off, but it only lasted so long as he could see her. The moment she was out of sight, his problems came back tenfold.

“Jarvis?” he asked quietly and hung his head in his hands.

“Yes, sir?”

“I need you to do me a favour. Please keep me updated with what’s going on at home.”

“As you wish, sir. There has been a break-in.” Tony rolled his eyes. “I cannot tell who has done it or if they are there still, but I can tell you that the old security system says they broke in using one of the windows in the back.”

“Make a note,” he ordered getting up and headed toward the elevator. “Tomorrow we start putting in your system. We need to update it. I don’t like it just sitting there.”

“Sir, might I suggest, since there are major repairs which need to be done to this building, that everyone move into the old house until the remodelling and repairs have been completed?”

Tony paused and thought about that for a long minute. It would be crammed compared to what they had now. They’d have to share more living space and the only privacy one could find would be a bathroom or their bedroom…but… “Keep that idea on hold. Let’s just see what’s going on right now…”

“As you wish, sir.”

\-------------------------------------------------

Maria Hill stepped off of the ramp and raised her chin as she marched through the line of agents and soldiers, all saluting in respect and acknowledgement of her newly appointed position as director of S.H.I.E.L.D.

Fury had stepped down quietly and had disappeared, just as he said he would, leaving her to wrangle as much control as she could from the council, without them noticing what she was doing. She had requested to land the carrier for a while and remain on the ground in exchange for some information regarding a civil upheaval in Africa.

“Director Hill,” a dark-skinned man stepped out of line and saluted to her as she paused before him. The title made her skin crawl, yet she kept her face neutral and nodded, giving him permission to speak. “I would like to introduce myself, I am Agent Samuel Wilson. I have been given the honour and chance to request being your second-in-command.”

“I have seen your file and reviewed your credentials,” she nodded recalling his name. He was one of the ones who had always shown loyalty to Fury and his cause. It would be useful to have him around, if not even better to her advantage to have him as her second. “What makes you think you can do a better job than the others?”

“With all due respect ma’am, I’d rather not say out here. My competitors are listening.”

She gave him a small smile and looked him over from behind her sunglasses. “Alright then, I have a little time. Walk with me.”

They went down the line and into the main building, polite small chit-chat exchanged between the two of them to keep others from disturbing their walk toward her office. Once inside she shut the door firmly and pulled out the device Fury had left her. She pushed the button to scan the room as she removed her sunglasses. The device flashed green: all clear. She pocketed it and turned to him. “Have a seat?”

“Thank you,”

They both sat and she set her brief case next to her feet before clasping her hands on her desk. “Now, tell me why you feel you are my best bet?”

“Because he told me I’d be useful to you.”

She froze for a second and then recovered quickly. He couldn’t have meant who she was thinking of. Could he? She had to know, “Who?”

He shook his head and put his finger to his lips before pointing to the door. “Another high ranking officer,” he lied smoothly. “Frank Payne.”

She nodded her understanding his meaning. “Yes, Agent Payne is a good man. He’s helped us out a lot recently; especially with his current undercover work.”

“Then you know about the _Seven Snakes for Seven Mobs_ case?”

She smirked. “I’m the director, I know about everything we’re currently working on.”

Sam smiled a bit sheepishly. “Um, forgive me Madam Director. I…it’s –”

“I understand; change takes time to get used to.” She swallowed down the bile that had risen in the back of her throat at the words. “So, Agent Wilson, tell me more about yourself. Why did _you_ join S.H.I.E.L.D.?”

“Well ma’am, I love helping people,” he said pulling out a note from his breast pocket and set it on the table slowly.

“Don’t we all,” she said sweetly and pulled it toward her. “Tell me about your childhood.” She leaned back in her seat, tearing opened the envelope quietly as Sam began speaking, giving her time to concentrate as she lost herself to the letter.

\-------------------------------------------------

“Hey I just saw the news,” Banner said coming into the workshop. “What’s going on?”

“S.H.I.E.L.D. broke my fucking house.”

“Here?” he asked looking around suddenly alert. Impossible! The other guy would have felt it. Hulk sniffed around too and shrugged confused in Banner’s mind.

“No, the house…the house I grew up in as a child,” Tony said, tossing another piece of paper into the trash across the room angrily. “Sit, we’ve gotta talk.” Bruce pulled up a stool. “Tomorrow’s the day.”

“Yes,” he replied, crossing his arms neutrally.

“We make an appearance outside. Together.”

“All six of us or seven?”

“Pepper is going to be in meets all day now to sort out the house problem,” he sighed frustrated.

“I was talking about Loki,”

Tony swallowed and shrugged. “Might do him some good. Thankfully not a lot of people saw who the hell lead the attack. They just knew it started from my roof.” He laughed ruefully and shook his head. “Some people think I started it…”

“No one thinks that,”

“Some of the politicians do…they’re using that to gain people’s support.”

“Well ninety percent of the politicians I’ve met are stupid, so what good are their words?” he shrugged.

“People trust them…a lot more than us; which is why we need to show them our solidarity. We need to let the people know that we’re on _their_ side. We fight to protect them and not the garbage those jackasses in Washington are trying to pass off as ‘good deeds’.”

“Press conference?”

“No…we’re just…going to go out.”

“Just go out? Like spend a day out and if people recognise us we just wave and do what? Sign autographs?”

“Yes…” he picked at his lip and stood, pacing around. “Yeah that’s what we do…”

“Alright…tell everyone over breakfast?”

“Yeah…and then there’s this other thing.”

Bruce and the other guy didn’t like the sound of that. “What is it?”

“We have to leave here.”

“What?”

“The damage the building sustained from the attack and then some of the villains that crept up afterward –”

“I wouldn’t call a guy in a yellow leotard with a few bits of metal, by the name of Bulldozer, claiming he was going to smash the place down, to be a villain.”

“Dog snoozer is a serious threat!” Tony argued, “He was tough and he got past the main security defences. But what I’m trying to say is: this place needs some serious work. Like I might as well blow it all down and start over. So we have to move.”

“Where? To Malibu?”

“No! I’m going back there with Pep…”

“Okay, then where are the rest of us going to go?” he snapped a little testy. “Natasha, Clint, and Steve lived on S.H.I.E.L.D. bases and I lived in a ditch in India. I _know_ Loki and Thor don’t want to go E.T. phone home!”

“I’m trying to tell you, shut up!” he said growing irritated. He stopped pacing and ran a hand through his hair and whispered, “The house…”

“Pardon?”

“The house!” he said louder. “Tomorrow after we make an appearance, I’m going to start working on adding JARVIS’s system and security into the old house and you all can live there until I can figure out what else to do.”

Bruce was silent for a few tense moments and then relaxed a little. “It’s going to be fine,” he said reassuringly.

“Is it?” Tony sighed doubtfully.

“Yeah…come on,” he said getting up and held out his hand, “let’s go upstairs.”

“Did I miss dinner?”

“Everyone is kind of doing their own thing I think. Thor was on the roof when last I checked; Natasha and Steve are having a date night; and Clint was heading back to his room. I’m assuming Loki is there.”

“Do you want to call them down?”

“If you want.” He patted Tony on the back once he come closer to him and lead him upstairs.

“Can we have mac and cheese?”

“Yes.”

“With little hot dogs?”

“We only have big ones, but I’m sure if you cut them we can pretend their small.”

“Okay.”

\-------------------------------------------------

There was a knock at their door. Clint paused the movie and turned to see who it was.

“Bruce and Stark were wondering if you both would care to join us for dinner,” Thor quietly said, his posture spoke confidence, yet his face and voice held some sort of small pleading hope that the invitation wouldn’t be refused.

“Yes, what time?” he responded before Loki had a chance.

“Twenty or so odd minutes, perhaps?”

“We’ll be there.”

“We are eating in the dining hall,” he added before turning to go.

“Thank you,” Loki said. Thor looked back over his shoulder and gave a small smile before leaving. Clint raised an eyebrow and looked up at him. The god glanced down and then sighed, “What?”

“Nothing,”

“I can feel something…surprise?” He frowned and rolled his eyes. “There is nothing surprising about me being civil to someone.”

“I’ve never really seen you both in the same room without you feeling some sort of resentment or losing patience.”

“Resentment is too strong of a word, what I feel is more in the family of envy.”

“Why would you be jeal…” he stopped and could have slapped himself. “Sorry, that was a stupid question. I know what you’re talking about now.”

“Do you?” he looked at him a bit surprised.

“I had an older brother too.”

Loki swallowed and returned his attention to the screen. “Does Megara die?”

“Aw, are you concerned?”

“I am not heartless,” he stated flatly. The darkness inside of him bubbled up their disagreement.

Clint frowned at him and then stopped as if he were listening. “What is it saying?”

“What is what saying?”

“That _thing_ in you,”

Loki stiffened for a moment and then let out a long tired sigh. “They feel different about my last statement.”

“We’ll tell them they’re wrong,” he pointed the remote at Loki’s heart. “If I can feel it beating, then we know it’s really there, and the last time I checked it was still there and still pumping.”

Loki smirked and enjoyed the feeling of the entity’s frustration over the archer’s words. They finished the movie with very few things said between them; however Clint did move to wrap his arms around Loki when he felt the god’s mild panic during the final Underworld scene.

“See everything worked out,” he smiled as he shifted and stretched, scooting to the end of the bed.

“Unfortunately life does not work in such ways,” he whispered and rose, reaching for the ceiling with a great yawn.

“Where did the clothes Tasha left out for me earlier go?”

“I returned them to the drawers.”

Barton opened one and pulled out a light grey shirt with a Stark Industries logo in the corner. “Not much here,” he said opening the others and taking a look around.

“The captain and doctor mentioned a potential shopping trip tomorrow.”

“Oh, nice! That must mean we’re out of lockdown!”

“I suppose,”

The archer went to him and wrapped his arms around his waist. “What’s wrong?”

He shook his head, “nothing.”

Clint sighed heavily. “Alright,” he said giving in, and leaned up hoping for a kiss.

Loki hesitated for a moment. Clint felt a flash of heart aching pain streaked through the bond, before the god brought his hands up to cup his face and kiss him gently. Clint pushed back the questions that rose from the odd feeling, and sent calming and trusting ones to him instead. Whatever was bothering him, he was sure Loki would tell him in time.

They broke away and headed down to dinner. As they stepped off of the elevator they were met by the delicious smell of meat and dairy. Banner turned from where he was standing near the stove and nodded, hands busy holding and stirring a large steaming pot.

“Great, you’re just in time. Tony and Thor are in the other room. I’ll be out in a second. Grab what you want to drink and head in.”

Clint opened the fridge and rummaged through, grabbing two cans of root beer. Loki came up behind him. “Want to try it?” he asked holding the can up for the god to look at.

“I was told this house was considered dry,”

“It’s not alcoholic,” Barton explained. “It’s sweet, bubbly, kind of like a treat.”

“Very well.” Loki nodded and followed him into the dining room. Tony was seated at the head with Thor on his right. They both stopped their conversation and smiled at them.

“Where should we sit?” Barton asked walking further into the room.

“Any place is fine,” Tony gestured to the three empty places set up. “It’ll just be the five of us tonight.”

Clint felt a faint tug along the bond and turned to see that Loki hadn’t followed him completely in. He was standing there staring at the table. He felt the god’s apprehension and tried figuring out what it was that had him so nervous. It hit him, there were two spaces on Tony’s left and one on Thor’s right; Loki wasn’t ready to sit next to Thor still.

 _Why?_ He asked.

Loki glanced at him and then back at the table. _It is not my place…_

The faint unspoken, _and I haven’t rightfully earned it_ , were not lost to Clint, so he turned to Tony and pointed, “Would you mind if we took up those two places?”

Thor’s face flashed his stung feelings for a moment before he looked down at his plate.

“Yeah,” the genius shrugged and gestured to the seats completely oblivious to the cultural happenings going on right in front of him. “Go ahead.”

Barton motioned with his head for the god to follow him and they took up their spots; him next to Tony and Loki on his left. “Thanks, I know there is a normal seating arraignment but I figured this would be better, that way everyone can see each other,” he said the last part at Thor, hoping the thunder god would pick up what he had been trying to do.

It seemed he did and he nodded slowly and understandingly. He looked at his brother, “How was the moving picture?”

“Very colourful and cheery,” he replied in a nice tone.

“What movie did you watch?” Tony asked rubbing his hands together a bit anxiously.

“Hercules,” Barton answered.

Thor frowned at the familiarity of that name. He looked at Loki who nodded and confirmed, “Yes, Herakles.”

The thunder god’s face became dark. “I do not enjoy him, brother.”

“Well the thing made his life seem very dull and depressing, if that makes you feel any better.”

“It does a bit,”

Stark looked at Clint curiously. The archer shrugged, “Long story, but gods are real.”

“Oh, great. I guess unicorns are too?”

“Probably,”

“Tony!” Bruce called.

“Excuse me,” he said getting up excitedly and headed for the kitchen. “I think my hotdogs are done!”

Loki blinked alarmed. “Midgardians consume wild dogs?”

Thor and Clint laughed. “No brother,” the blond explained. “That is there name, they are made of meat…uh and…” he frowned realising he hadn’t a clue what else. “But not _dog_ dog,” he quickly added. “I know that for sure.”

“Beef,” Clint answered. “Or pork or chicken or turkey. It’s just meat ground up and stuffed into animal intestines.”

“Oh,” both gods sighed somewhat relieved.

“Like sausage,” Loki reasoned.

“Yes,” Barton smiled. “Just like sausage, only they don’t have a lot of spice to them. They’re juicy and can be packed full of cheese or peppers, but most of the time people buy the regular kind.”

“They are delicious,” Thor assured Loki just as Banner and Tony entered, both carrying a dish and a few condiments.

“Alright kids,” Tony said as they set the stuff on the table. “We have beef hotdogs and macaroni and cheese. Your extra flavourings today include relish, mustard, ketchup, mayonnaise, and honey mustard.”

“Plus french fries,” Bruce added setting the small bowl of fries down next to the plate of sizzling hotdogs.

“Surprise win for all,” Stark nodded and took his seat.

Thor rubbed his hands excitedly. “Is there need for ceremony or –”

“No Thor, just dig in,” Bruce patted his shoulder and sat in the spot next to him. Everyone started a frenzy of grabbing and passing and shaking things. Loki kept his hands in his lap and leaned back in his chair watching them.

 _Eat,_ Clint’s voice insisted to him.

_I will wait to see if there are any remaining scraps._

“Oh for the love of!” Clint sighed and picked up the tongs, grabbing up a couple of dogs, and set them onto the god’s plate. “Do you want buns?”

“They taste delicious with buns,” Thor added.

“I…I don’t know,” the god panicked slightly as the whole ordeal slowly became too much for him all at once.

Clint grabbed his hand, “Look at me.” He did. “Take a breath, its fine. All it is is wrapping bread around your hotdog.”

“If you don’t want it, it’s fine. You’re not going to offend anyone,” Banner added, in case the god took the refusal of a bun to mean the same as refusal of sharing bread.

“I…I’ll try it,” he finally managed. Banner handed him the bag of buns and he pulled out one, giving the rest over to Clint who passed it off to Tony, who passed it off to Thor. Loki watched his brother open and set the dogs into a slit in the oblong bread. He mimicked the action and sniffed the thing before taking a small bite. A warm meaty flavour burst over his tongue and he pulled back, to stare at the hotdog, pleasantly surprised.

Clint smiled at him and dumped a giant spoonful of the spiral mac and cheese onto his plate. “Welcome to Earth,”

“To friendships!” Thor cried holding up a tiny purple can.

“To friendships,” the other three chorused holding up their drinks, Clint snapping the lids to their root beers quickly, and then drank deeply from his.

“Friendships,” Loki said quietly, inclining his head and held his can up.

“So tomorrow is the official day lockdown ends,” Tony said mixing his cut up bits of hotdog into his mac and cheese. “Bruce said that you and Steve had started to make plans the other day?”

It took a moment for the god to realise that he was the one being spoken too. He quickly chewed his mouthful and nodded, looking at Banner. “Yes, I do believe you two settled on taking us shopping?”

“Yeah,” he confirmed.

“Great, take my card,” Tony suggested.

“I have money,” Banner replied and pushed his glasses up his nose.

“Clint might not,”

“I worked for S.H.I.E.L.D., and I was a part-time petty thief,” he shrugged as if the rest of his unspoken words were obvious. He was smart enough to stash as much money into a private place or bank account.

“I, for one, could not honestly accept your money,” Thor said. “I am already indebted to you so much.”

“And Loki’s my boyfriend so I pay for him.”

Thor blinked taken aback. “When did that happen?”

The younger god rubbed his forehead. “It hasn’t. I have yet to properly ask.”

“What do you mean ‘properly ask’?” Clint turned to him.

“Customs and old habits are hard to break,” Banner smiled filling up his plate with seconds.

“We’re together right?”

“We are, Clint. Calm down. It is just a formality. This way if…” he stopped as the rest of the thought and reason made his blood run cold.

Tony looked at him and then at Thor for help. The thunder god looked sad, but finished for them all, “It is so that if anyone questions the legitimacy of your relationship, you both can honestly answer that one of you offered and the other accepted willingly.”

“Is that a problem where you are from?”

“It once was, but since that rule was established there have been no further incidences.”

“Like?” Bruce said smothering his plate in mayonnaise, and then made a face and rolled his eyes. He locked eyes with Clint and mouthed, “Other guy” a bit unhappily.

“Upper and lower class men would force women into marriage by blackmail, because they desired their money. Many lower class women would purposely lay with a noble man to become impregnated and then pressure them into wedlock for their money or power, threatening rape charges if they did not comply.”

“Oh, so nothing ever changes no matter what planet you live on,” Tony shrugged darkly and then frowned at Banner’s plate. “I thought you hated –”

“It’s the other guy,” he said quickly as mustard and ketchup were also smothered on top of all of his food. “I’m really sorry…”

“It is fine,” Thor laughed and clapped him on the back. “When a man’s inner beast is famished, he must feed him what he desires, or end up his own meal!”

“Does that happen in Asgard often too?” Clint asked.

“It is an old expression,” Loki explained.

“Alright, so shopping tomorrow, maybe Shawarma for lunch?” the billionaire genius stuffed several fries into his mouth.

“A movie?” Banner suggest as he grimaced over a mouthful of the concoction the Hulk had created.

“No we’ve been cooped up for too long,” Clint shook his head. “We should just give everyone a tour and walk around.”

“But we’re still getting Shawarma right?”

“Yes,” everyone, but Loki, confirmed.

“Those are also delicious,” Thor assured him. Loki would make that decision for himself. Thor’s tastes generally differed greatly from his…although he had been right about the Midgardian hot-notreal-dogs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Holidays guys!
> 
> Sorry for any mistakes I didn't catch. I hope you all have a magical week!  
> ~Britta


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry! I'M SORRY! I'm so very very _very **very VERY**_ sorry! I had some family drama that I let get in the way and then the past week and a half I've been running from audition to audition and store to store filling out and apply for jobs. No luck, but I know that doesn't excuse my lack of updating.
> 
> All mistakes are my own fault. If something looks horrific and doesn't make any sense please let me know and I'll fix it. Yes there will be an update within the next 2 days and then one next week.  
> Okay, now do what you came here for! Read and I hope you enjoy!

\----------------------27----------------------

Loki awoke with a small gasp and sat up quickly, gripping at his chest. His heart hammered wildly and he could feel sweat roll down the back of his neck and chest. He shivered and looked around the room. The familiar and calming presence of Clint lying next to him helped to clear his mind from the foggy nightmare.

He relaxed a bit and took a deep breath as he got up and went to the bathroom to have a short chilly shower. Careful not to wake Clint, he dressed in whatever decent he could find and crept into the living room.

He began stretching, his body sore from not having physically done his usual routine in so long, and meditated as the sun’s ray slowly sweep the darkness of night away. Loki’s stomach rumbled and with a final check to make sure Clint was alright, he ventured down into the kitchen.

The lights were dimmed yet he could clearly see Tony sitting up at the island: a mug of coffee untouched and cold before him; hand resting on his cheek; and head bobbing as he fought to keep himself from dozing off. The moment Loki stepped into the area, the lights automatically turned on to full power, causing him to squint and turn his eyes away in temporary blindness and the genius to jerk awake and knock his drink over.

“Oh fuck!” he said jumping up, the stool falling back as the black liquid spread along the surface quickly.

Loki hurried to grab the dishtowel on the counter and threw it over the mess, snagging some of the napkins that had been left out to control the flow and keep any more of it from spilling over the edge. “I apologise,” he said, his eyes still a little sensitive from the light. “I did not realise that such a thing would happen.”

“No you’re fine,” he shook his head and began helping to clean the mess up as he suppressed a yawn. “I shouldn’t have been asleep.”

“I thought mortals required nightly rest?”

“They do, but I’m…different. Everyone’s different and sometimes…” he sighed and rubbed at his face.

“Something troubles you?” he asked carefully.

“Yeah,” Tony laughed ruefully.

Loki collected the sopping paper bits and threw them into the pull-out trash receptacle. He found a new washrag under the sink and wet half of it before bringing it over to finish cleaning and drying the area.

“Thanks,” the billionaire sighed.

“I was the one who disturbed you, no need to find fault in this,” he replied quietly as he check the area and found another spot to clean up.

Tony swallowed and watched as the god finished and took the stained fabric pieces and mug to the sink. “I used to think you were a royal bastard,” he said on impulse and internally cringed. _Way to go,_ he thought. _Perfect. No wonder you have so many friends._

Loki barked a laugh and rinsed out the towel, “I _am_ a royal bastard.”

“I meant as in you were no good and like…horrible,” he mumbled the last word and shrugged looking away.

Loki’s humour faded and he took a moment before replying, “I am those things as well…”

“I don’t…” Tony sighed giving up, knowing that that was not a battle he could ever fight or hoped to win. He righted the stool and decided to change the subject. “What are you doing up so late?”

“It is a little after seven,”

“In the morning!?” he gasped and turned to look out the windows. “Fuck…” he puffed exhausted and heavily sat down, burying his face in his hands.

Loki turned and looked him over, carefully assessing the hero before him. Upon conclusion, he could see and sensed Tony’s agitation, fear, anger, utter exhaustion, shyness, and hunger. He decided to do something for him and the rest of the house, because he figured it couldn’t have been easy living in hiding, having to deal with S.H.I.E.L.D., their fans, and try to be kind to him. Loki began searching through the cabinets and metal chilling box for the ingredients he sought. He gathered them together on the counter and then began mixing them in a giant glass bowl he found in the island cabinets.

“What magic are you working?” Tony asked rubbing at his mouth as he curiously, and a little cautiously, watched him work.

The god chuckled, “No magic, I am merely baking.”

“What?”

“Dessert morning cakes,”

“What?”

“You’ll see.” He set the bowl aside and searched the lower cabinets near the stove for something useful. He spotted a large flat black cooking instrument and partially extracted it to examine. He was delighted to find it a cast iron piece and suitable for his needs. As he pulled it out completely he looked it over to find the sourced of its cooking power.

“Stove is right in front of you.”

Loki looked up and then stood to stare down at the flat glassy black square. He was still and silent for a moment before holding the double sided object up a bit and, embarrassed at his lack of knowledge, shyly asked, “How…how does it –”

Tony spared him having to finish. “Jarvis?”

“Yes, sir?” the A.I. asked.

“Would you mind assisting us?”

The lights on the stove came to life. Loki took an unsure step back and looked it over. He saw in the bottom corner there was a panel with numbers and a blinking “on” button that seemed to be waiting for him. He pushed at it and then waited.

“Excuse me, sir?” JARVIS said.

“Yes?” he looked up at the ceiling, having dealt with JARVIS before, yet still hesitant about how he felt about his bodiless presence.

“Which burner would you care for me to turn on?”

“I desire to use this?” he held the culinary object out and looked around still.

Tony covered his mouth with a hand and swallowed back his amusement. It was funny when Thor was discovering JARVIS, but watching Loki was going to be even more entertaining. Shorter of an experience, that was for sure, but nonetheless still worth witnessing. He couldn’t wait to tell him JARVIS wasn’t a real person. But that was another day.

“Please set it onto the surface,” the A.I. patiently instructed. The god did. “Would you prefer the heat high, medium, or low?”

“Not too low yet nothing higher than medium.”

“Very well. Please take care. The surface will be hot. Desired temperature being obtained now, please wait a moment.”

Loki dropped a slab of butter upon the surface and coated it evenly before retrieving the batter. Taking a large spoon up, he carefully formed the blended mixture into thin circles in sections around the top of the cast iron griddle.

Tony laughed softly to himself once he realised what they were. “Pancakes,” he whispered.

“Pardon?” Loki asked glancing over his shoulder for a moment.

“Pancakes,” he said louder. “That’s what they are called here.”

“How…interesting…” he replied. He set his things down and began searching under the stove area again. “Do you possess a kettle?”

“Left more,”

Loki found and filled it at the sink before setting it at the back corner of the stove. “Spirit,” he called out. When no answer came, he tapped at the stove front. “Spirit, are you still here?”

Tony’s lips twitched a bit.

“Please call me Jarvis. How may I help you?”

“Jarvis,” he said testing the name out. “Jarvis, I desire this kettle to boil. Please turn it on?”

“Right back burner set to high. Please take care, the surface will be hot.”

Silence settled in as the god watched the pancakes cook and Tony watched him, noticing how Loki’s shoulders tensed and how he wouldn’t turn to look at him. Loki flipped the cakes gently, nudging them a bit and swallowed, growing uncomfortable as the void grew.

Tony began to feel a little awkward after a few minutes and tried thinking of something to say. “Are these very common on Asgard?”

“What?” he jumped a bit.

“The…cake things. Are they common?”

“For royals…yes, as often as they like.”

“What do the poor get?”

“This is a dish served on holidays or market festivals for them. If you are wondering, no they do not starve. To be poor on Asgard is not a sin or to be looked down upon. It only means one is not entirely well off. They have enough food, good clothes, shelter, and a means with which to continue making a living. The Asgardians would not allow themselves to have beggars or needless suffering. It would look bad and be an unfavourable example for other realms.”

Tony nodded, appreciating and understanding that logic, as he got up and went to a cabinet. He pulled out a large serving plate and mug, setting both next to where the god was working and pointed to a thinner cabinet to the god’s right. “Tea bags are in there.”

“Thank you,” he softly replied.

“No problem,” he turned and got himself a new mug, pouring some cold coffee into it and set it in the microwave. The two minutes of him nervously drumming his fingers on the counter waiting, while Loki removed the finished cakes to put new ones on, felt like forever. The blissful beeping that came to signal his liquid wakeup call was done was a call from heaven, mainly because it gave him a reason not to talk and say something stupid. He carefully took it out and blew on it before attempting a small sip.

As he looked up, he found Loki watching him. They looked away quickly. Loki pretended to check the pancakes and Tony went to sit back down. He looked the god over as he settled in and decided, since it was already weird between them, that if he spoke again it couldn’t make things any worse or better. So he did. “May I ask you something?”

“I have come to understand you to be the type of man to ask regardless of my permission,”

He chuckled, “fair enough,” and set his cup down, smoothing his hands over the counter and began bouncing his leg. “You’ve…seen things. You’re like, what? A couple hundred years old?”

“Thousands, and yes I have seen… _things_ ,” he flipped the new cakes.

“Have you ever…been in a war?”

“Yes.”

He wet his lips and pressed them together before shooting. “How did –”

“I live with myself after surviving such a traumatic experience?” Loki calmly finished before the genius could. “How did I sleep at night knowing I’d killed countless innocent beings? My body drenched in so much blood that it soaked into my skin and I could not clean it off; no matter how hard I scrubbed or how many scalding baths I took?” He supressed a small shiver as the darkness stretched lazily along his spine and set the spatula down. “I honestly have no idea,” he confessed softly.

“What’s the worst?”

“Of it all?”

“Yeah,”

“Children,” he felt his throat tighten a bit. “Watching the children suffer. Seeing them…dead.”

“Why?” he asked, curious over his answer. He didn’t peg Loki as the family orientated type. Then again, he hadn’t also peg him as the type to know how the hell to cook or be kind.

“I…I believe it affects me so because…I have some of my own.”

“You’re a father?” he gasped.

“Don’t sound so surprised,” he grinned a bit and searched through the cabinet for a tea he’d like to try. “I _am_ thousands of years old.”

“Oh…” he said letting his shoulders sag a bit as he thought over what that actually meant. “Does Thor?”

“No,”

“If you have kids, then does that –”

“No, I have never been married before.”

Damn, he hated when someone answered before he could finish; especially when Loki did it. It made him feel as though the god was reading his mind and he still wasn’t a hundred percent cool with him, so that made it feel extra odd and a bit intrusive. “So why have them?”

“I did not intend to have any of them. They merely happened.” He pulled out a few bags and sniffed them, settling on a mild green one with a light citrus sent.

“How old are they?”

“Some of them are adults…I was…younger when I had them.”

“Are they like in the myths?”

“What do you mean?”

“The Norse mythology stories about all of Asgard and the realms and stuff. They have stories about you. Are they true?”

“I am not certain. What does history speak of me now?”

“Well,” he shrugged. “You changed yourself into a mare and gave birth to an eight-legged horse,”

“True,” he smirked.

“Did you get jiggy with a giant and have three crazy creatures?”

“I do not understand the word ‘jiggy’, yet if it means what I believe it to be, then: yes, and they are not ‘crazy’, they are cursed,” his lips fell into an unhappy frown and his voice held a carefully restrained bitterness, “She was a very powerful witch.”

“Why?”

He swallowed and began transferring the finished cakes to the plate. “I could not give her what she desired.”

Tony couldn’t help himself. “Commitment issues?”

“In a sense,” he sighed. “I bargained to claim them as mine, yet I would not marry her. That was a very fair and more than reasonable deal, especially for our class difference.”

“And that’s why you couldn’t marry her? A class difference?”

“Yes and no. Even if I could, I would not have. I…I vowed to never marry.”

“But –”

“What else do your people think of me?” he pressed on, dropping more batter onto the re-greased surface. The darkness spiralled up his centre, slowly drinking in his anxious fears and sadness.

“You married someone and had two more sons,”

Loki couldn’t keep the surprise from his voice, “Really? I wonder who I married.”

“Sigyn.” Tony saw the god freeze for a second.

He set the bowl down a little more firmly than he meant to. “What?” His voice was sharp, his breathing coming quickly as his temper bubbled.

Tony raised a brow and carefully continued to explain, “Uh…you marry Sigyn and have two boys…well I don’t remember their na–”

“I had twins from a guardian here on Midgard, Sigyn met them once, and I gave them to my…mother’s family to care for.”

“Does Barton –”

“No!” he hissed and slammed his hand on the counter. The parasitic entity rushed up and gabbled at his anger, pushing for more. Loki hissed and pressed the heel of his palm into his forehead and squeezed his eyes shut.

“I’m sorry,” Tony said, feeling bad for causing him such distress. He realised how far he had pushed without meaning too. He just couldn’t help it, there was knowledge to be gained from such a subject and sometimes he couldn’t stop himself and –

The sound of the whistling kettle helped Loki focus to push the entity back, as well as knock Tony’s mind off its downward spiralling course. They both pulled themselves together.

Loki moved the kettle to the unheated side and tore open two tea packets. Dropping them into the opening at the top, he reset the lid tightly and took up the cooking spatula to flip the cakes. “What else?” he asked softly now that he had gotten himself under control.

“That’s all,” Tony confessed. “I honestly don’t know a lot. I think Happy told me that stuff. I’m sure you could find –”

“I learned long ago to never put much care into what others thought of me,”

Tony laughed bitterly, “You and I both.” A thought occurred to him. “You were once in the same place the Chitauri –” Loki dropped the spatula at the name of the alien race, “I…” Stark trailed off as the god retrieved the utensil and rinsed it off in the sink, taking care to dry it thoroughly. “I’m sorry.” He meant it. He was sorry he brought it up.

“What did you see?” Loki gently inquired, his body half turned toward the genius, his eyes focused on rubbing a fresh kitchen towel against the flattened metal slowly.

“Nothing…beautiful nothing…”

Loki looked at him and then turned to the stove, setting the spatula down to take up the kettle and poured himself a cup. “And?”

“Everything…” he breathed as his mind thought back on that gloriously terrifying few minutes of his life.

“It is outside the branches of our system…very far…if you would not have fallen back through…no one would have ever seen your body again.”

“I mean, I blew the place up,” he shrugged. “It would have been destroyed regardless.”

“No, even if your disastrous weapon wouldn’t have worked…they would have taken hold of you and –” he stopped and closed his eyes tightly.

“Is that why you have trouble sleeping?”

“What suggests that?”

“I read the reports from when you were in S.H.I.E.L.D.’s custody and no one in their right mind would be up at this time if they had a choice.”

Loki sniggered and shook his head. “You sampled a tiny drop of the horrors the other side of the universe holds. I indulged far too much and paid that price.” He looked at him for a moment and then away, “You know the answer to that question already.”

Tony watched him for a few minutes. “What…” he gestured to his chest and then gave up and drank deeply from his coffee instead. What was the point in trying that question again? He had attempted to describe it numerous times and no one knew. Not even Thor.

“That?” the god asked knowingly.

They looked at each other and Tony nodded, a bit surprised to find the same look in Loki’s eyes that he knew he had in his. “Yeah…what…what is that?”

“A feeling,” he shrugged, “If it is that at all. I am uncertain of what _it_ is. It…will stay with you forever.”

“Forever?”

“I have yet to meet another who has overcome it.”

“Another scar,” he muttered looking down at his coffee.

“Hide it,” Loki advised. “Others will use it against you.” He picked up the spatula and removed the cakes. “Try to forget you ever…experienced it. Keep it only for your personal nightmares.”

Tony nodded. “It seems one can never have too many of those.”

Loki gave him a tight sad understanding smile. The elevator dinged and out stepped Steve. He stopped short once he saw the other two in the kitchen and the mood their conversation had caused. “Uh…is something wrong?” he asked looking Tony over.

“I just got up early.”

Loki sensed the lie falling easily from the genius’s mouth. His smiled a bit, impressed by how smooth it was. To an untrained ear it surely sounded real.

And it did. Steve nodded. “Oh…is that fresh?” he pointed to the cup of coffee.

“No,”

“I’ll make new.” Rogers went over to the coffeemaker and began cleaning and refilling it. “Pancakes?”

“Dessert morning cakes,” Tony corrected.

“You may call them what you will,” Loki responded neutrally as he poured new batter over the iron. He set the bowel aside and rushed to put away and clean up the mess he had left in his wake.

Steve helped him, waving away the apology ready on the god’s lips, and tossed the egg shells in the trash. “Don’t worry, I do the same.”

Loki bowed his head in appreciation. When he turned Tony mouthed, “No right mind” at him. It took a moment for him to realise what he meant and he chuckled softly to himself and turned away. Steve looked between the two of them as he rinsed his hands.

They made small simple chatter, mainly Steve asking how they slept and other social polite things until the elevator dinged again.

Thor walked around the corner quickly; his night clothes and hair rumpled for he hadn’t bothered to change like the others. “I smelled the coffee.”

Steve chuckled and pulled out several mugs. “Yes, I’m making fresh.”

“I will gladly consume the old.”

“Here’s what’s left,” Tony offered him his half drank mug.

Thor finished it in one gulp and handed it back. “Delicious,” he sighed satisfied. “May I?” he asked, indicating the seat next to him.

“Be my guest,”

“I am,” he nodded with a smile as he took his seat.

“How did you sleep?” Steve asked.

“Well, I learned how to turn the viewing box off.”

“I told you you’d get a hang of how the remote worked,” Tony said proudly and patted his arm.

Thor frowned. “Mine comes with a remote?”

Tony’s smile dropped quickly. “Uh…that’s kind of how it works.”

“Oh,” he shifted a bit. “I uh…I was not aware.”

“How did you turn it off then?” Steve asked trying not to laugh too soon.

“I took it off the wall.”

Tony slapped his hands to his face. “You what!?”

Thor frowned at him and then repeated, “I took it off the wall.”

“Why didn’t you ask Jarvis to help?”

“I did not want to wake him. It was late.”

Tony stared at him for several long seconds, unsure if he should laugh or shout in frustration. Steve and Loki chose to laugh.

Thor looked at them all confused and then apologised to Tony, who waved it off and promised to fix it all before the evening. The thunder god nodded, satisfied with the news and stared at Loki’s back for several seconds before he realised it was him. He blinked surprised, “What are you doing brother?”

“Sacrificing your companions to the Norns. This one was Banner,” he replied sardonically, and pointed at the hefty stack of warm cakes on the plate. “He didn’t make as many as I’d hoped, but it’ll do. I have plans to start on Steve next.”

“You jest cruelly,” he glared at the trickster. He knew the petty jab wasn’t true, yet he also knew that Loki had the skills to make it if he so wished.

He swallowed and quietly whispered, “I did learn from the best after all…”

There was tense silence afterward: Steve and Tony looked at each other, unsure of what to do. Thankfully, the lift’s bell saved them all and out stepped Natasha, in jeans and a nice purple top, and Banner in slippers pyjamas and a robe. She looked bright and fresh, ready to take on the world. Bruce looked as though he suffered from a terrible sickness or hadn’t slept in months.

“The other guy smelled coffee,” he explained, as if the drink hadn’t currently been brewing he would have never gotten up.

“Take a seat Bruce, it’s almost done,” Steve said.

“Great,” he sighed and sat next to Thor, putting his head down on the island and covering it with his arms.

“Did someone make tea?” Natasha asked looking around.

“I did,” Loki softly replied and flipped the cakes. “It is still hot.”

Steve handed over her mug and she moved to Loki’s other side to pick up the kettle, and then went to lean against the counter next to soldier. The god tried keeping his rising discomfort down as he stood still before the cooking food.

“We haven’t made pancakes yet,” she commented nicely and drank deeply from her mug.

“Dessert morning cakes,” Thor and Tony corrected in unison.

“Or pancakes,” Steve shrugged looking at her. “They are the same.”

“They are sweeter,” Thor insisted.

“Do you own any fruit?” Loki asked moving the finished cakes onto the plate.

“Tons,” Bruce grunted.

“I’ll help you?” Steve offered.

“If you wish…” he poured new batter onto the griddle a bit uncertain.

“What do you need?”

His years of training for commanding others kicking in; his voice was patient yet authoritative, “Something sweetish; butter; sugar; citrus; spices.”

 “We have apples, strawberries, blackberries, raspberries, bananas, oranges, lemons, –”

“Pull them all,” he searched under the stove for a pot, pleased to find another cast iron one and pulled it up, setting it on the still hot back burner. “Jarvis?”

“Yes, sir?”

“Please reduce the heat to half,”

“Yes, sir.”

Loki turned to where Steve was setting the fruit down. He picked up the cartons of the berries and sampled one from each. “These will do, he set them aside, picking up one of the green and one of the red apples, taking his time to bite into each and sample. “The green,” he decided and passed the remains of that one to the soldier in favour of finishing the red one.

Steve looked at it and then set it down, confused as to why he’d been given it. “Bananas?” he said and handed the god one.

Loki looked it over, completely baffled as to what it was. Natasha stepped forward and held her hand out. He gave it up and she opened it a bit before giving it back. He nibbled the end and then shook his head. “No,” he made a face and handed it to Steve, taking a bite of red apple to get the flavour from his mouth.

“Orange, lemon?”

“We have such on Asgard; they should be sufficiently the same,” he said flipping the cakes.

“Okay,” Rogers looked the banana over at a loss as to what to do with it. Thankfully Thor held his hand out and took it off the soldier’s hands. “Butter, sugar, and what spices?”

“What do you have?”

Steve opened the cabinet to their left. Loki began pulling them down, taking a sniff; sometimes even a small taste. He set the ones he desired on the counter and returned the others. “Take most of the berries and mush them in a bowl.” Natasha flew into action, pulling out knives and bowls as Steve scurried to rinse the produce. “Cut three apples and put half of them into the bowl. Put a good handful of sugar, some citrus juice, and stir it. I need butter for the pot.”

“What comes after the berries?” Steve whispered to her.

“Just get the butter and cut up the apples. I’ll do the rest,” Romanoff gently reassured, holding back a smile. Sometimes his good nature got him into so much flustering trouble.

They completed the task and had just handed over the prepared bowl to the god when Clint finally stumbled on the scene.

“I smell food,” he croaked still fighting sleep.

“Take a seat,” Natasha ordered as Loki poured the mixture into the heated pot and began stirring it, tossing in the spices he desired.

The archer took the spot right beside Bruce and set his chin on the counter, his seat pushed very far back. “What is it?”

“Dessert morning cakes,” Thor, Tony, and Bruce answered.

“Or pancakes,” Natasha and Steve added.

“Dessert morning cakes,” Thor said low with a nod.

“Whatever it is, I’m fucking starving, and it smells edible!”

“I’ll get plates,” Tony offered going to the cabinets and pointed to the finished coffee pot. Steve raced over and began filling and distributing mugs.

“Stir this please,” Loki asked, handing over the wooden spoon to Natasha. She did as she was asked so that Loki could remove the finished cakes and scrap the remains of batter out.

“Do you want these?” Tony asked holding up the plates to the god as he opened the silverware drawer.

“Yes, thank you.” He took them and began setting large stacks of the cakes onto three of them and looked into the pot. “Have the apples softened some?”

Natasha grabbed a fork and stuck it in one. “Yes.”

“Jarvis cease heat to the range please.”

“Yes, sir.”

“The uncooked fruit?” he inquired. Natasha handed it over and then moved away to give the god room as he set the fresh fruit on top and then drizzled the cakes with the warm syrupy toping. He handed two of the plates over, Steve took them up and set them before Thor and Bruce. Natasha took the third and put it in front of Tony.

Loki repeated the procedure and passed off three more plates before finally making his own, this one with fewer cakes and more uncooked fruit. He took the last of the made cakes off. Taking a deep breath and turned anxiously to see why it had become so quiet.

Everyone was busy stuffing their mouths: Natasha seated on a clean patch of the counter; Steve leaning against the space next to her; and the four at the island munching and gobbling, racing to satisfy their beastly appetites.

Steve saw his expression and nodded his head, pointing to his food with his fork and swallowed his mouthful. “They’re very delicious.”

The others nodded and added other complimentary adjectives. Loki looked to Clint who was attempting to stuff one of the largest cakes into his mouth without cutting it. He caught his eye and gave him the ‘thumbs up’.

_Fantastic baby._

_So long as you enjoy them,_ Loki let out a sigh of relief and turned, cutting his into small pieces.

_I’d enjoy them a hell of a lot better if I ate them off of your naked body._

Loki choked on the mouthful he had, grabbing up his forgotten tea and drank some to help it go down as he coughed and patted his chest.

“Are you alright?” Tony asked.

“I am fine, thank you,” he glared at Clint’s smug face and then continued with his own meal.

“Where’s Pepper?” Natasha asked looking around.

“She won’t be here. Something…” Tony sighed and then shrugged. “Might as well – so you all have to move out.” Cries of protests and questions rose up instantly: Bruce, Loki, and Thor remained respectfully silent. “Wow, let me finish!” he snapped holding up his hands. “Not right away, but soon.”

“I thought you said –”

“Calm it Natalia, I’m not done!”

Steve stopped her from hoping down and rearranging Tony’s face.

“Alright,” he took a drink of his coffee before continuing. “This building isn’t safe. I’m moving you all to my…family house. I need to check in on it today and start updating the systems. There was a break in the other night, which is why Pepper isn’t going to be here today. Also, we’re going out. We’re going to wear nice clothes, walk around, and pretend to be a happy and good little family of heroes, like half of the media thinks we are. If anyone asks, we were all doing top secret missions and we aren’t supposed to talk about. Got it?”

“Got it,” the assassins, soldier, and Thor said. Bruce and Loki nodded their understanding.

“Good…Furthermore, as far as I’m concerned, S.H.I.E.L.D. can suck my dick!”

“Tony!” Steve gasped, still not used hearing to such language.

“What!? They were the ones that took violating my personal property too far!”

“Did you have to say that?”

He pointed his fork at the soldier, “We both know that there are worse things I could have said. But my point is, no more contact!” He slammed a hand down on the counter. “If they ask us to do something, walk away singing a happy tune while you flip them the bird. They try to take anyone into custody, activate the things.”

“What things?” Natasha raised a brow and asked a bit condescendingly.

“I’ll explain when you get them,” he replied nastily back.

“Alright, let’s stop all this before it spills into our first day out,” Steve said trying to defuse the bomb before it blew. “Loki was kind enough to make this great breakfast, let’s finish it on nice terms, get ready and head out as a unified group of friends.”

“I love playing pretend,” Tony whispered to Thor as he cut his food. The thunder god raised a brow yet kept chewing his massive mouthful.

“Tony.” Bruce warned, the other guy adding a bit of his own gruff to prove a point.

The darkness within the god became overly excited at the hostility in the room and jumped up. Loki made a small noise and hunched over slightly, grabbing his left side. His fork clattered to the floor, causing everyone to pause and watch him carefully.

 _Loki?_ Clint asked sitting up alert.

 _I’m fine,_ he insisted. He took a shaking breath. “I’m fine.” He said allowed for the others to hear.

“Are you sure?” Banner said, straightening his glasses and rose from his chair.

“Please stay seated, I am alright. It’s…the chemical…I am…still…” he swallowed, bending more to retrieve his fallen utensil, and forced himself to stand tall again. “It has passed. I have not had an attack in a while. I apologise. Please continue to enjoy your morning meal.”

 _You’re lying…_ Clint’s voice was angry, yet he tried keeping his face concerned. _It’s that thing isn’t it?_

 _Good marrow dishonourable spirit_ , the darkness greeted knowing that the archer could not hear its words, yet could feel its negative reaction toward him.

 _Silence,_ Loki hissed to it. The darkness attempted to snap at him, yet he pushed a barrier before it, tossing it the remains of his pain, anxiety, and displeasure. The entity lapped the emotions up and snuggled down sated.

 _What are you doing?_ He asked, only feeling a sudden intense fluttering blend of emotions. _Are you alright?_

_Yes, now eat._

“Might I have more?” Thor inquired politely. Loki set his fork into the sink and held out his hand for the thunder god’s plate. The cakes and fruit were polished off; another pot of coffee was made and consumed; and Natasha and Loki reheated and finished off the tea.

“So meet back down here in an hour?” Natasha offered as everyone handed their plates and utensils over for her to put in the sink.

“Two.” Tony corrected.

“Two,” Bruce nodded and drained his cup. “And more coffee?”

“Sure,” Steve smiled, taking the scientists mug and put it off to the side near the pot to remind himself to make more.

Loki took up the dishrag and turned the water on.

“Stop,” Natasha said firmly, yet still kind. “You cooked; Steve and I’ll finish these. We’re already dressed and ready. Go,” she shooed him, taking the washcloth, and lowered her voice, “Clint takes forever to get going. Don’t let him lay down again or it’ll be an all-day event getting him out.”

“Thank you,” he nodded and went to where Clint, Bruce, Thor, and Tony were standing and waiting on the elevator.

They got off after dropping off Thor. Clint bee-lined for the bed; Loki grabbed his arm and pulled him toward the bathroom.

“Five minutes,” he whined still trying to go toward the safety and comfort of the sheets. Loki didn’t say anything except for pushing him into the standing glass shower. He began tugging Barton’s clothes off. “Oh…never mind…” he chuckled and wrapped his arms around the god.

“We don’t have time,” he rolled his eyes and removed himself from the archer’s hold. He turned and twisted the knobs.

“Two hours,” Clint tried again. Loki dodged his advance and went to step out of the shower as the water finally started. The archer gave a small shout as he was blasted with chilly water. “Loki!”

“I’ll toss these in the basket?” he offered, collecting the dirty clothes up off the floor, from where he had cast them aside, and took them to the hamper.

In no time at all Clint was out with a towel around his waist and checking his face in the mirror. Loki had just finished rinsing his face when he noticed the archer shrug and reach for the simple toothbrush he complained about whenever he had to use it.

“Do you have to shave all of the time?” the god asked curiously.

“No. Thankfully the men on both sides of my family have had poor facial hair growth. It takes a while before anything really shows up. I can go a few days without, but it darkens and becomes rough after a time. I’ll have to shave tomorrow or you’ll be smooching sandpaper.”

“I don’t believe I honestly know what that means.”

He laughed, “You’ll see.”

Loki moved aside to give the archer the sink and dried his hands. “It’s fascinating.”

“What?”

“That you don’t care to keep it.”

Clint spit and turned on the water to rinse his brush out. “Do you want me too?”

“I’m not sure…the men of Asgard grow theirs to represent the passing from boyhood to manhood.”

“Why do you not grow one?” he rinsed and swished his mouth out and then stuck out his tongue to inspect it.

“I’ve never been able too,” he gave a weak sad smile and turned, going into look for clothes for Clint.

“Never?”

“No,”

“Why not?”

“I used to think it was because I practiced magic,” he said pulling out clothes that seemed as though they would just fit Barton. “But Odin does as well…so it couldn’t have been that. To be honest it was a topic of great interest among many of the women. They thought I was rebelling and found it…wild. I used a spell once to make it appear as though I had facial hair…but it never felt right…” he sighed giving the clothes over and began thinking of how he should modify the stretch pants and hoodie he was wearing.

“We’ll have to get you shoes,” Clint said more to himself and zipped his pants. “Better grab some socks. Did you put underwear on?”

“Honestly?” Loki rolled his eyes.

“You made food rocking commando!?”

“No!” he frowned at him a bit appalled.

“Oh…well get some socks.”

“Clint –”

“We’ll buy you whatever kind you like when we get to the store.”

Loki heaved a sigh and pulled a pair of socks out and on before concentrating his magic and altered the garments to a simple every day around the palace look. A little more formal than what he preferred in his private quarters, yet still his usual greens and blacks.

“Um…” Clint looked him over and laughed.

“What?” he straightened defensively and adjusted his collar in the mirror.

“Nothing…” he shook his head and moved past him. Once he’d put his shoes on they made for the lift.

“How long will it take for the clothes to be ready?” Loki asked as it stopped and dinged.

“What?”

The doors opened to reveal Thor. He paused for a moment and looked Loki over before giving a small sigh of relief. “I thought I was going to look ridiculous dressed like this on my own.” He gestured down to his navy blue and black outfit that mirrored the god’s style. Clint had a hard time keeping his laughter in on the rest of the way down.

\-------------------------------------------------

“Do you have any idea what it means?” Sam asked her the next day as they headed from the command station to her office.

She looked around to see if anyone was listening and then shook her head. She didn’t have to ask what he was talking about, it was the note. There was nothing else that could have caused him to change his tone in such a way. “Where did you get it?”

“I found it in my locker. It came with instructions.”

“Where are they?”

“They told me to burn them, so I did.”

Hill had to supress a smile as she rolled her eyes. Loyal indeed. “I’ll finish figuring it out once we get off base.” She raised her voice slightly and started walking faster as they neared a well-populated area, “I need you to send word out to the other agents to be on standby around Austin. We’ve had several eye-witnesses report sightings of the Avengers there.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he saluted and hurried off.

Maria continued on her way to the meeting with the council. She stepped into the large and dark room. The viewing screens lit up instantly as she took her place. “Council-members,” she inclined her head respectfully as she set her briefcase down.

“Director Hill,” the woman smiled, her entire being oozed with pleasure. “How good to see you here so punctually and so well put together.”

“Thank you ma’am,” she bowed her head to her.

“We have a task for you. Because of the current uprising within Washington we will need the Helicarrier back in the air. You may assign one of your underlings to man it if you so choose to stay on the ground.”

“What sort of operation are we dealing with here?”

The woman beamed pleased at Maria’s eagerness. “We want you to keep the citizens there safe.”

“Who do we suspect to be in the area?”

“Oh we do not suspect any _one_. We know they are there.”

The tone of her voice made Hill a little uneasy. “Who…is there?”

“The mutants.”

Hill’s blood ran cold. The other council members shifted a bit. Some pulled their images away from the screen, a dark silhouette image appearing in their stead, signalling that they were either not in favour of the idea or had stepped out on urgent business.

“What are they doing?” she replied carefully.

“They are hindering the lives of the people there,” the woman said, as though it were blatantly obvious. “If any cause a problem, take them into custody.”

“I will do as you command.”

“Next,” the woman shifted her papers around and then looked at her. “We need you to contact the US government and request for their assistance and approval in capturing Charles Xavier.”

“Do we know where he is?”

“Yes, Fury was gracious enough to give us a location,” the woman mused surprised, and then darkly added, “Only good thing he ever did for this unit.”

The comment almost sparked Maria’s anger, but she held it in. Keeping her face neutral and nodding her head she replied, “I will send a team to take in him into custody immediately.”

“Has there been any news regarding the Avengers?”

“Several people in Austin are reporting sightings of Iron Man and Captain America there. There are other reports of sightings in Japan, however they have yet to show enough evidence for us to send our people over and check it out. I just sent my second officer off with orders to move in and investigate discreetly. We had a meeting this morning with all level nine agents who are now involved in the matter.”

“Good girl,” the lady smiled pleased. “I’m glad you are turning out to be a better director than the last.”

Hill inclined her head again, “I hope I continue to meet your expectations.”

\-------------------------------------------------

“Okay,” Tony sighed and rubbed his hands together as he turned around to look everyone over. “Are we ready?”

“For those of us that snuck out at night so that we wouldn’t become afraid of real people? Yes!” Natasha said a little exasperated over having to wait so long.

“Tony,” Bruce said putting a hand on his shoulder and then straightened the billionaire’s tie. “It’s going to be alright.”

“Okay,” he took a deep breath and faced the door. “Yeah, yeah it is.” He squared his shoulders and then swiped his key card and set his hand on the wall sensor he had installed a few nights ago.

“Anthony Edward Stark,” JARVIS announced. “Is this correct?”

“Yes,”

“You have been added to the database.”  The door opened and Tony began walking toward it. “Please have a safe trip.”

“Thank Jarvis,”

“Anything for you, sir.”

The door shut and locked behind the billionaire.

“I’ll go,” Bruce said. Everyone else knew that with Tony’s current mental and physical state it was probably the best choice. As best as he tried hiding it, they all knew better.

Bruce swiped his card and set his hand on the blue panel.

“Robert Bruce Banner,”

“Yes,”

“You have been added to the database. Please have a safe trip.” The door popped opened.

He smoothed his jacket lapels and started forward. “Thank you.”

“It is my pleasure, sir.”

Natasha gave an irritated sigh. Steve rubbed her back a little. “It’s just this once, and then we don’t have to do it again or hide when we go out.”

“I know,” she said. “I just…” she shrugged.

Clint knew what she was trying to get at. Steve didn’t. Not yet, but one day he would learn how to read between her lines. She wasn’t irritated or impatient about having to swipe her card and go out, she was acting that way because she didn’t want to.

Going out now meant she had to put up her defences, be in constant assassin mode, look at everyone as though they were a threat, and keep her emotions inside. In the mansion, the people there were familiar and if they crossed her she had already proved she could take them down so they were never a threat; but the most important thing of all was that she could…find who she was. Start to be herself. She had almost done it once, and then S.H.I.E.L.D. had intervened. Better to have a robotic killer that was trained to be loyal without a self than one who was loyal to those that mattered and made moral-calls all of the time.

That was why she was promoted much faster than Clint, and why she was given better jobs than he. Not that what she had to do really was great, but pay wise it was nice. Compared to the mental and emotionally scaring that came with it…not so great.

Steve smiled at her reassuringly and stepped up. He swiped and put his hand on the scanner.

“Steven Grant Rogers,”

“Yes,”

“You have been added to the database. Please have a safe trip.”

“See you out there,” he said to them and exited. “Thank you Jarvis.”

“Not at all, sir.”

Natasha took a moment and turned to the other three. “Are things going to be…alright?”

“Yes Tasha,” Clint sighed frustrated at her mothering tone.

“I wasn’t talking to you,” she snipped a little harshly at him and then turned concerned cautious eyes to Loki.

The god nodded. “It’s as Stark said earlier; not a lot of people know who I am…I am a new party member and Thor’s brother. They do not need to know any more of my history than they need to know of yours.”

“Okay,” she nodded and turned to move forward. She swiped her card and set her hand out on the panel.

“Natalia Alianovna Romanova,”

“Это верно,”

“You have been added to the database. Доброй вам дороги.”

“Спасибо,” she said with a smile as she left.

“Не за что, мэм.”

Thor moved forward to add his identity to the database.

“Thor Odinson, Prince of Asgard,”

“Yes, this is I,”

“You have been added to the data base. Please have a safe trip.”

“Thank you good voice.”

Loki tensed as the door closed leaving him and Clint alone. “I…I can’t do this,” he whispered, ready to flee.

It was unfortunate for him that Clint had already been prepared for the action and grabbed him. He dragged him forward. “I’ll be right behind you.”

“You leave first,” he protested.

“No, Loki you’re going to do this,” he insisted. “If you want to start making things right you have to also get out and do things. It’ll be fine.”

He took a deep breath and held up the plastic black card Tony had given him. He quickly swiped it and pressed a hand to the wall, closing his eyes in dread over having to hear what title he’d be branded with.

“Loki Frigguson, Prince of Asgard,”

He let out a breath and frowned in confusion. He looked back at Clint, who was trying to hide a secretive smile.

“Sir, is this correct?”

“Y-yes,” he said and smiled. “Yes it is. That is my name.”

“You have been added to the data base. Please have a safe trip.”

“Thank you, sir.”

“Not at all Mr. Frigguson.”

The sound of the matronymic made his heart flutter. It sounded beautiful and he wondered why he hadn’t thought of using it before. He felt Clint give him a small push forward and he passed through the door and into bright sunlight. The archer was right behind him before his eyes had time to adjust. He shielded them and looked around at the busy streets.

It was Asgard, but with a heavier darker feel and much more filth. It was loud and fast; there were so many different bodies and bright flashy signs hoping to catch one’s eye for their patronage; there were theatres and restaurants that had music or noise spilling out from their doors; it was a chaotic mess and it profoundly excited Loki.

He smiled, looking around and watched a woman walk buy talking to herself and playing on a thin device. Another had wires from her ears, and then a man had a strange device over his, then a person walking quickly and arguing into a thin black rectangle with a tiny creature on a leash. Loki wanted to follow them, know their lives, what they were so upset or happy over, and why they were the way they were.

He felt a tug on his sleeve and realised he’d taken a step away from the group. His smile faded into a submissive and apologetic embarrassed expression at Clint.

“Okay, like I was saying,” Tony said handing out small flesh coloured beads. “These will keep us informed if something happens. They’ll switch on automatically in any sign of danger, and if you keep it in your ear, it’ll track you. Your key cards will also help us track you down, so keep those safe too. You can’t get back in without them, and only your voice and hand will work with your card.”

Everyone put the buds into their ears; Clint helping Loki and Bruce helping Thor.

“We’ll shop for a bit, get some food, and then walk around,” Tony said again. “If people point and take pictures, smile and be polite. Someone wants a hug; make sure they don’t jack your wallet. If something goes down, I have it set up so that one of my suits will come with all of our equipment: Cap’s shield, Clint’s cupid gear, Romanoff’s bracelets, and even a weapon for Loki. Thor has to call his hammer.”

“No need,” Thor said patting his chest. “I have it here.” Those who didn’t know better looked at him utterly clueless. He shifted. “What is it?”

“Nothing,” Bruce said, holding out a hand to stop Tony from asking. If they got into that subject now they wouldn’t get anything done. “Where to first?”

“Clothes?” Steve suggested as they started off in a direction.

“Yes,” Tony agreed.

“Then other essentials,” Banner added.

Loki didn’t bother watching where he was going, Clint had a firm grasp on his hand. He let the archer drag him around as his eyes searched and looked at the buildings in awe from this new angle. So this was Midgard now? So much had changed.

He had to remind himself that this was still only a small part of the realm. He couldn’t believe he was standing in one small chunk of it all. According to the others, it wasn’t anything like the other places of Midgard. He could believe that, for New York was unlike any other place in any realm he’d ever been too. It still smelled and felt far too industrial for Loki’s full comfort, yet it was the freedom and the chance to explore that kept his interest. The strange clothes, the people, the food vendors, the shops, the signs – it was overwhelmingly thrilling. If it wasn’t for Clint’s hold, he would have surely gotten lost.

They went from street to street sampling small amounts of food and watching people perform along the way to their intended destination. Loki felt as though he were a child once more. It was like the Asgardian season festivals where people would come great distances to participate in. The games, the wears, the talent, the strange races, the excitement of it all! He and Thor would run about the grounds for hours, trying to see it all.

Tony pointed a head of them as they finished crossing a road, “There is this nice men’s stor–”

“Macy’s,” Natasha pointed across the way. “Let’s go there. It’ll be a nice start.”

“But –”

Bruce placed a hand on his upper arm, “Not everyone is a billion dollar suit man.”

“But they’re gods,” he hissed.

“Let’s start simple and work our way higher.”

“Fine,” he sighed and then looked back to the waiting group. “To Macy’s?”

“Who is that?” Loki whispered as they crossed the street.

“Who?” Clint asked looking around.

“Macy. Is he a friend?”

“Wha-oh,” he laughed and shook his head. “It’s a store. They have a large variety of clothes and stuff.”

Loki suddenly felt very foolish. He hated being ignorant about things. He always prided himself in knowing more and teaching others, yet here he was just as stupid as any of his mother’s ladies.

“Hey,” Clint nudged him as they walked through the doors with an encouraging smile. “It’s fine.”

The god nodded and stopped in his tracks as he looked around. “Oh…” was all he could say as he took in the glorious sight before him. Clint laughed excitedly and pulled him in the direction of the men’s wear.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Natasha and JARVIS's Russian:**  
>  \--- _"Это верно,"_ = "This is true"  
>  \--- _ ***“Доброй вам дороги.”**_ = "Have a lucky (safe/good/pleasant) trip."  
>  \--- _“Спасибо,”_ = "Thank you"  
>  \--- _ ***“Не за что, мэм.”**_ = "Not at all, ma'am  
>  *Thank you Ana for fixing these mistakes. I am very appreciative for your help.
> 
>  **Loki's matronymic.**  
>  If you don't know what that is, it is a personal name given to one based off of the mother, grandmother, or other female ancestor. So Thor's is based off of his father: " **Odinson** " meaning " **Son of Odin** ". Loki's has now been changed to his mother: " **Friggu** (in cases of a name ending in "-a" the letter is changed to "u" for the 'son' form) **son** " meaning " **Son of Frigga** ". It's like Anakin. His mother raised him because he "had no father", he was conceived by the Force, so he had her family's last name. If they were Old Norse or lived on Asgard he'd have gone by Anakin Shmason (the "-i" in Shmi changing to "-a" for both genitive daughter and son forms).
> 
> Matronymics were very rare for the Norse culture, but they did happen.
> 
> And yes, those are their full names. If you're wondering Clint's is: "Clinton Francis Barton".


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, I'm going to be honest, I haven't been in a Macy's in years and I don't really shop either, so if there are inconsistencies with how it's all set up or the rules or whatever, please forgive me. I know I'm a lady, but I hate shopping, unless it's for books or knitting/craft stuff.
> 
> Mistakes are always my own fault, if something doesn't sound right or looks super wrong, please let me know and I'll fix it. Please enjoy the chapter!

\----------------------28----------------------

Loki frowned appalled. “I have to what?”

“Not _naked_ naked, but you have to make sure they fit.”

“I don’t understand. Why can’t someone come out, take my measurements, and then send the clothes once they have been completed?”

“Because they are already done,” he rolled his eyes and held up a pair of pants to the god’s waist. “Not long enough.”

“This is offensive,” he sighed entirely at a loss. He hadn’t the first notion of what to do or how to even behave. The people around him suggested that the occasion ranged from formal to very gutter-like in appearance and manners. One man even sneezed into his hand and wiped it on his shirt. Loki shuttered and looked away, afraid he was going to be sick to his stomach. “Must we stay here? We might catch something.”

“Like a new pair of pants?”

“Or stupid,”

Clint chuckled and continued in his quest until he’d found a few that might fit. “Alright, hold these.”

“Whatever for?”

“Because we’re going to look for shirts and then we’re going to try them on.”

“Where I am supposed to strip naked?”

“Almost!” he hissed and mentally kicked himself for even bringing it up, or wording it that way, as he headed to look through the dress shirt section. “You keep your socks and underwear on.”

“I would prefer to keep all of my clothes on.”

“But you need some clothes,”

“I can make –”

“Loki,” he sighed checking the sizes of the shirts before holding them up to the god’s chest. “Please don’t argue with me. What if something –”

“Nothing –”

“Loki,” Clint’s tone and the surge of anger that sparked between them made Loki shut his mouth to listen quickly. “Haven’t you noticed that when there is some sort of negative form of energy around, that _thing_ suddenly stirs up?”

_How perceptive this one…_ the darkness commented mildly amused.

“No,” he lied, knowing Clint felt his false words.

“Have you also noticed that whenever it violently attacks you or causes you too much trouble your magic shifts for a second? It hasn’t been anything major, just small things, like a seam out of place or buttons missing, but I’m not going to risk us being in public and something happening. What if they come and shoot you with the ‘Nightshade Sleep’ again? Do you want to be carted off nude or dressed in something to show yourself off?”

“If I were nude I _would_ be –”

He rolled his eyes. “I meant your personality or power even.” He turned back to the clothes and brought a shirt around behind Loki to check if the shoulders matched. “If they are looking for us, you’ll blend in a lot better in these.”

“I suppose next you’ll wish me to shave my head, spit around ladies, and start wiping my ass with straw?”

“If you want to, go for it,” he shrugged not giving the god the satisfaction of the answer he desired. The god rolled his eyes unhappily, yet said nothing further. Once they had acquired a decent amount of clothes, he was lead to the fitting rooms. “Alright, remember what I said –”

“Strip down and run through the streets shouting,” he replied overly sarcastic as he bitterly tossed the clothes on to the floor of the room. “I know.” He stepped in and sat on the bench as he began unlacing his boots.

“When you put a pair on, would you mind showing me so I can make sure they fit right?” he sighed rubbing the bridge of his nose as he leaned against the door frame.

“I still do not understand why you can’t simply just stay in here with me,” he muttered.

“We’ve been over this –”

“Yes, well it would –”

“We’re both far too old and people would talk or assume the worst.”

“Well, let them assume what they will. They are all incompetent,” he hissed and shut the door tightly. Clint growled and turned to beat his head against the opposite wall a little.

“Having problems?” Natasha said as her and Steve walked into the area.

“Nope, just people being _needlessly_ stubborn,” he said turning around and made sure to raise his voice just enough that Loki would hear him.

“Thor was the same way when we went to get him jeans for the first time.” Steve offered sympathetically and took the clothes Natasha was holding. “It’ll get easier.”

“I hope,” he mumbled and folded his arms over his chest as he went to find a place to sit down.

Romanoff smiled knowingly at him and went over to lean against the mirrors on the other side of where he was currently sitting. “I watched you both while you were picking things out.”

“And?”

“You’re very patient. Much more so than I think you’ve ever been with anyone else.”

“Well…” he whispered quietly. “This isn’t just anyone else…”

The door knob rattled and the two assassins stood at the ready. “Clinton these are ridiculous!” Loki gasped, opening the door quickly to take a step out. He pulled at the inseam area of his trousers and moved with careful steps. “They’re far too tight,” he insisted a bit exasperated.

“This from a guy who wears leather pants regularly?” Natasha raised an eyebrow as she looked the shirtless flustered being over. And to think he had wanted to take over the world? _Well_ , she turned her head and looked him over. _Maybe he would have succeeded if he’d kept his shirt off._ Her eyes flicked down and now she definitely had a much better idea of why Clint was so attracted to him.

Clint gently pushed at his shoulders, “Stand up.”

“I can’t,” he hissed.

“Why not?”

“Because…” he stopped and then turned embarrassed. “I’m taking them off.”

“No, Loki talk to me,” he begged.

“No,” he said shutting the door.

“Oh my –” Barton turned to Natasha, obvious he was near to his limit of being frustrated. “What do I –”

“Here,” she sighed pushing past the archer into Loki’s room.

“Tasha you can’t!” He called. Her reply was closing the door in his face. He heard laughter from down the way and looked. “What?” he replied nastily toward Steve.

“Nothing,” Steve snickered as he stood and waited for his girl to approve or disapprove of his outfit. “It’s just; she had to do the same thing to Thor. And then he blew the lights by summoning thunder.”

They both froze as they realised what that could possibly mean. Frowns of concern appeared on their faces as they turned to look at the door.

\-------------------------------------------------

“What do you think you are doing?” Loki asked backing away from her, the threatening tone he had tried using didn’t hold up to the slight fear his body and eyes betrayed.

“Stand up,” she said gently and pushed at him. He did as he was told and winced. “Alright, it’s no big deal,” she assured him and made him turn so that she could look at the pants from every angle. “What size are these?”

“I…I don’t –”

“It’s fine.” She pulled at the back to check the tag; Loki gave a small cry and jumped. “Okay, something a little longer. I know where to find them.” Natasha let him go. “Are they all this size?”

He shrugged and they began looking through the stack of pants. There were several ones a little bit larger and some smaller. She gathered the smaller ones and opened the door. “Hold off on pants for now. Put yours back on and start trying on shirts. I’ll be back in a second.”

“Lady –”

“Nope,” she said shutting the door again. “Don’t start that. It took me forever to get Thor to stop with that, please just call me by my given name.”

He nodded and apologetically said, “Na-Natasha?”

“Yes?”

“Why…why are you being so…kind?” he whispered rubbing nervously at his left hand.

“What else should I be?” He didn’t have an answer and she knew that. She sighed and tried a different approach to their conversation. “Look, shopping sucks. It’s emotionally and physically draining. I hate looking for pants just as much as the next person and I have it worse than you because I’m a lady and they love to make women hate themselves. So, I’m not going to have your first twenty-first century Midgardian shopping experience be the worst thing to happen to you. Besides, breakfast was really delicious and Clint doesn’t know how to shop for anyone, not even himself. He can admire all he wants, but that boy doesn’t even know what his own shoe size is.”

Loki gave a small laugh. She smiled a little and continued, “So you model the shirts now, leave the shitty part up to me and take the compliments Clint gives you. Even if you don’t believe them, it’ll pay off in the long run.”

He nodded. “Very well and thank you.”

She shrugged and left. He did as he was instructed, folding the smaller pair of pants and setting them aside before butting his magicked ones back on and selected the dark green shirt. He adjusted the collar and opened the door just as he finished buttoning it.

Clint stood up from the wall. “So?”

The god shrugged, “How does it look?”

“I like the colour,” he said admiring it and made a motion to tell Loki to turn around. “Can you move in it?”

He tried, finding it not too tight yet not too lose and nodded. “Do you like it?”

“Yes,” he smiled and sighed with relief at finally finding something they could agree upon during this whole ordeal. “Yes I do.”

“Would you enjoy it if I…were to try on the others?” he asked a little shyly and embarrassed. The way the archer was looking at him set his stomach a flutter. He remembered Natasha’s words and was glad she’d spoken them. The darkness grumbled unhappily.

“I’d love that,” Clint said taking a step back. They went from dark green to lavender, pale blue to cream, and striped to box checked. Each one Loki would try on and show Barton, each one bringing a thoughtful smile to his face and a glint in his eyes. “I like them all. Which ones do you?”

“I shall wear whatever pleases you,” Loki said as he finished hanging the last one up.

“You’re wearing these though; you have to be comfortable in them.” He folded his arms as he leaned against the doorframe. “If you had to only choose one, which one would it be?” He knew the answer before the god even selected. His thin long fingers quickly snatching up the sleeve to the dark green one. “Why?”

He struggled with his reason. “Because…it is…a colour I prefer.”

“Alright, what’s wrong with the purple?”

“Nothing…it is…not,” he took a breath and thought of a diplomatic way to answer.

“Do you not like the colour?”

“I do,”

“Then why not chose that one?”

“It…on…” he sighed deeply and stared at the floor. “On Asgard…when one dies…it is often customary for their loved ones to adopt something that belong to them. A style of dress, a colour, a symbol…”

“And this is what you’ve adopted?”

“Yes…”

“Very well,” he nodded. “Is it a for life thing?”

Loki stared very hard at the floor as he clinched his jaw tightly. “Yes…it is for me.”

“Alright,” he held out his hand. “Give me the others. I’ll go look for more green ones. I know you’re not opposed to black, so do you want to keep the grey chequered one?” The god nodded. “Okay.”

He handed over the others and set the two remaining shirts on a hanger away from the door. Natasha showed up with a selection of dress pants and jeans.

“These should fit,” she said handing them over to Loki.

“I’m going to look for shirts. Would you –”

“No it’s fine. I’ll take care of the boys,” she laughed and knocked on Steve’s door.

The solider came out in plaid red, white, and blue pants with a white dress shirt. “Well?” he asked a bit doubtful as he looked down at his outfit.

Clint couldn’t help the obnoxiously loud laughter that bubbled up inside of him as he headed out to begin his search.

Natasha frowned back at the archer and then turned to her man with a studious expression. “Try it with a blue vest and the jacket?”

\-------------------------------------------------

“So how long will it take for the system to be put in?” Bruce asked. They sat in the shoe department, watching Thor try on various pairs of boots.

“Not long: a day to maybe three? If I could get some help?” he added the last part with a pleading pointed look.

“What type of system?” he sighed.

“Same as the one in the tower. I’ll have to run a few new lines. If we work together it should be finished in no time.”

“Now, when you say ‘a day to three’,” he asked shifting on the bench and adjusted his glasses before crossing his arms. “Is this a normal person’s work hour estimate or a ‘Tony is a manic-insomniac’ estimate?”

“Would you mind staying up a little later than usual to ensure the safety of the others?” he pressed.

“No, but the other guy might,” Bruce countered.

“I’ll buy him a cheeseburger,”

“He doesn’t like them.”

“What!? What do you mean he doesn’t –”

“He’s not a huge fan of cheese on meat. He will agree if pizza is involved,” he offered the compromise; the other guy eagerly nodding in his mind.

“That’s cheese on meat!”

“No, that’s meat on cheese,” he corrected and leaned back against the shelf behind them. “There’s an order difference.”

“Fine!” he sighed giving in. “Pizza as a reward if we work with minimal breaks to get it done,”

“As much as he wants?”

Tony glared at him for a moment and then rolled his eyes. “Yeah sure.”

“There won’t be training rooms, will there?”

“I can set up a small one and give you the plans to finish another if you’d like…just until I get back.”

“Well take your time. Pepper really needs a break after all of this.”

Tony sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. “I still can’t believe Fury would do that…he…he knew my dad…he knows how much that house means to me…”

“Maybe it wasn’t him? You said the team that was caught there referred to a ‘ma’am’ instead of a ‘sir’. And we still don’t even know if they are S.H.I.E.L.D. or not.”

“They are, and why wouldn’t it be him? He _is_ the ultimate super-secret spy.”

“The council maybe? They’re dicks.”

“Fury knows how to keep those bastards out of things…I’ve watched him do it numerous times.”

“Maybe that’s all it took…one too many times?” They looked at each other, silently relating their fears and thoughts, until Thor approached them on wobbly feet.

“I believe these have too much height,” he declared, frowning down at the heeled low cut giant women’s boots. The two geniuses opened their mouths to say something before switching to curious and thoughtful contemplative faces at his shoe apparel.

“The colour suits you,” Tony offered. Banner nodded in agreement.

\-------------------------------------------------

Loki had just closed the door, leaving Natasha and Clint in the hallway of the fitting rooms alone once more.

“Why did you pick only three colours?”

“It’s a thing,”

“His thing or your thing?” He didn’t answer her. She sighed and crossed her arms, not giving up on her curiosity. “What was wrong with the other colours? I thought they’d look nice on him?”

“They did…it’s just…it’s not a thing for him.”

The door opened and Loki stepped out showing them a jade green shirt. “Well?” They nodded their approval. “It doesn’t look too dreadful?”

“No,” Clint stepped forward and fixed his collar with a smile. “It looks nice.”

“Honestly?”

“Yes,” his grin widened.

“Alright,” he said nodding. He ran his hands down the front for a second and then went back in.

“He’s nervous,” she commented.

“I can’t imagine why.”

“I couldn’t at first…and then…” she glanced at the door and then back at Clint.

“He can’t hear us.”

“How do you know that?”

“Because he’s using a spell to block out sound. It’s mainly so we can’t hear him mutter angrily about this whole thing.” He chuckled.

Natasha smirked and then nodded. “I chalked it up to his pride and the defeat earlier this year…and then I’ve realised…it’s a show.” Clint’s faint smile turned into confusion. “As you said before, it was a show,” she whispered looking at the door. “He’s afraid of being himself, of letting others down. He has no sense of self…very submissive, very eager to make others happy. He puts on a show, because he’s frustrated…” She didn’t have to explain what his frustrations were. They were apparent already.

“I admire how you can read people without having to really speak to them,” he swallowed looking away, a part of him warming with relief that she was starting to see what he saw.

“Do you think we’d be friends if I couldn’t?”

“No,” he chuckled sadly. “We wouldn’t be.”

The door opened again, this one was a light sage and he smoothed his hands apprehensively over the front of it. “It’s too light,” he confessed uncomfortably with a tinge of anxiety. “Is it too light?”

“It won’t be,” Natasha went over, moving his hands away, and adjusted the collar and sleeves. “If we get you a black vest and a tie, it’ll cover most of it up. It’ll become an accent colour instead of being the main one.”

Loki nodded and then looked at Clint, who didn’t need to feel his fear to know it was there. “I love that colour on you,” he said honestly.

“Very well,” he gave a shaky sigh of relief and moved to step back in.

Clint catch the door before hand and leaned in to speak with him. “Only if you want it though. Don’t force yourself to wear something you hate or are uncomfortable in.” Loki nodded, not looking at him and they separated so that he could try on the next shirt.

Natasha gave Clint a curious look but he shook his head. “I’ll go look for some vests?” she offered instead.

“Yeah,” he said as she left.

Several dozen other shirts; a few vests; a couple of belts; a decent number of jeans; and coats later, Loki emerged from the room handing over several teal coloured dress and casual shirts. “They’re too blue,” he explained. Clint took them without question and the three of them gathered the remaining clothes.

“Let’s get these to Tony. Then Steve can help Loki find some shoes and I’ll help you find clothes.”

“Oh damn,” he sighed completely put out. “Tash, I’m good with like two pairs of pants and a shirt.”

“Well if you’re going to be married to a god and prince then you better get used to having more than one pair of black jeans!” she snipped and lead the way out of the fitting rooms. They followed with the bundles in their arms, Clint stopping to drop the unwanted shirts off at the counter outside, before they set their things into the carts Steve had gotten.

“Please just let me do this?” the archer begged. “I don’t need help. I’m an adult.”

“Yeah?” Natasha challenged.

He crossed his arms and sassed back. “Yeah.”

“What’s your shoe size?”

“My shoe size?” he asked surprised and then frowned. “Why? Don’t you know it?”

“I do, do you?”

“Of course I do! They’re my feet!”

“Yeah, what is it?”

He wet his lips and swallowed, shifting his weight back and forth from foot to foot. “Great question! I-I-I know. You tell me. Then I’ll let you know if it’s right or not.”

She shook her head. “No. You guess.”

“You guess!”

“I don’t have too,” she sighed.

“Great, because I don’t have to either. My shoe size…is…my shoes are –”

“Yes?” she pressed, trying not to smile over how silly he was being.

“Give me a moment, I don’t normally look at my feet,” he said staring down at them. “My feet?” He rubbed at his chin. “My feet…well they _are_ my feet.”

“Alright, get!” she shooed him.

“Hey now!” he held up his hands. “I said give me a moment.”

“Time’s running out.”

“My feet are a…a five.”

“A five?” she raised a brow amused. “A five what?”

“A five in…my shoe size,” he smiled, hoping he’d chosen correctly.

“Nice try,”

“Oh come on!”

She turned and pushed him off. “We’ll see you both a little later,” she said holding up a hand in farewell.

Loki chuckled over the exchange.

Steve did as well and then gestured to the other side of where they were. “Shall we?”

He sighed and nodded, hesitant of what the next task held for him. He found trying on shoes to honestly not be as bad.

\-------------------------------------------------

“I need you to send a message,” Hill said quietly as they sat across from each other in her office. She was signing all of the orders the council had requested from her. With each smooth stroke of her pen, her mind tormented her with the image of another person being zipped into a body bag. So many people were going to suffer…she couldn’t bare it. But Fury’s order had been specific, his instructions clear. She had to keep her job. They couldn’t afford if someone else took over as director.

Sam nodded his head, “I can do that.”

“Two actually: one to Cheese and Ham, and other to 110.”

“What should they say?”

“‘Florida looks nice this time of year. Why don’t you get out and take a break in the Sun.’ capital ‘s’ on the ending; underline ‘this’ ‘in’ ‘get’ ‘time’ ‘break’ and ‘out’.”

“Consider it done.”

“Thank you,” she nodded her head and signed the last order. Maria stared down at the page miserably. It was a statement of support from S.H.I.E.L.D. for the Superhuman Registration Act to be passed. Her signature was a knife in her chest, as well as one in every back of the hundreds of thousands this thin sheet of paper would harm.

“Anything else?” he asked gently; the same feeling hung in his heart that she wore openly on her face in the privacy of the office.

“Get me a Helicarrier,” she whispered and swallowed as she closed the file over the signed documents. “We’re going to Washington.”

\-------------------------------------------------

“Everyone have everything?” Tony called several hours later. The group nodded their consensus. “Alright, let’s check out then,” he pulled out his wallet and flashed his card and a smile at the lady at the register. “Hi…Betty,” he said reading her name tag. “I know this might seem a bother, but I’d like to purchase all of these clothes.”

The woman stared at him in shock, her mouth working like a fish out of water “Yes!” she finally managed breathless. “A-an-anyth-thing for you Mr. Stark!”

“Fantastic,” he gestured for them to start bringing their things up. “Is there anything we can do to make things easier?”

“Taking the hangers off would work, right?” Bruce offered.

“Yes,” she nodded, still star struck and began her work quickly. They kept the clothes separated into sections, one person grabbing up their bags and moving aside once all of their items had been scanned. By the time half of Loki’s objects had been scanned a decent sized crowd had gathered around them.

“Hello. Hey! Hi,” Tony smiled and greeted in his usual enthusiastic manner. A few people stepped up and asked for signatures.

“It’s alright,” Clint said to Loki, who was death gripping the counter.

“What if –”

“Don’t. Just relax, and smile when you make eye contact. You’re a prince; you’ve been in front of crowds.”

“Yes, but never ones where I tried –”

“Can I have your autograph!” someone shouted running up to Thor.

“Uh…sure?” he nodded and took up the pen and magazine the young female was holding out to him. He mimicked the style and way the other four had done theirs, and scrawled it over his picture on the cover.

“Thank you!” she smiled brightly and then continued to move down the line. She stopped before Loki and then frowned, looking at the cover and then at him before turning to Clint. “AH! It’s the archer!” she held her things out. “Would you?”

“Sure,” he said and then looked down at his arms and then around. “Would you mind wa–”

“I’ll hold your things,” Loki relieved him of his arm full of clothes, mainly to give himself something to focus on.

“Thanks,” he smiled at him and then took the marker and magazine.

“Who are you?” the girl asked too the trickster, a little too snobbish for Loki’s tastes.

“This is my brother!” Thor said, clapping him on the back proudly and pulled him close. “His name is Loki and he is a friend.”

“Oh…” she said and looked him over again. Clint handed her back her things and she shook with excitement. “Thank you so much!”

“No problem.”

“You’re my favourite! I watched you from the building across the way from where you had taken up shooting all of those things! And then when you jumped from the roof and crashed through the window! It was incredible!”

“Uh, thanks.”

“Were you there?” she asked suddenly turning on Loki. He took a small step back and straightened his posture.

“No,” he replied easily. “I arrived after it all.”

The strange young woman turned and walked away, disinterested in him once more.

“That was rude,” Thor commented.

“That’s how everyone has always treated me,” Loki turned and set Clint’s things on the counter before he began removing the hangers.

“I shall grab your things,” Thor said, indicating the bags that were ready to be taken.

“No, I can manage,” Loki said, a bit tightly.

“I only bought shoes and a coat. Bruce and I will help you and Clint. It’s no trouble. Tony called for a ride to put our things in.”

“Are we no longer walking?” he asked disappointed.

“We can after we drop them off,” Clint said helping him remove the plastic hangers.

Tony wouldn’t let them see the total, but apparently, the damage wasn’t too bad considering that some of their clothes had qualified for a few of the sales the store was having that day. They all took their bags and exited, finding a long limousine and a giant crowd waiting for them.

_Breath, everything is alright,_ Clint reminded Loki as flashes of lights and hundreds of voices sprung up.

He inhaled and drew himself up; putting on the practiced grace his mother had instructed him with. So long as he did not have to manage one person at a time, he knew he could handle the crowd.

Bruce and Steve helped put their things into the car and then ushered Loki in. The god sat all the way toward the front and leaned back in the seat with a sigh of relief. Bruce followed, doing the same, and held a hand to his chest.

“It’s fine,” he said closing his eyes. “We’re fine. Calm buddy…calm…”

Natasha slipped in and moved the bags on the floor around. “Fucking Americans,” she hissed to herself.

“Did one get handsy again?” Bruce asked knowingly.

“Yes!”

Clint hurried in and climbed over her and Bruce to the space beside Loki. “Damn!” he hissed as he managed to wiggle in. Natasha gave him a playful reprimanding slap for fumbling over her. “I hope this doesn’t mean lunch is cancelled.”

“No, Tony wouldn’t hear of that.” Steve said getting in along with Thor. There was a pounding from the outside and Tony got in, closing the door behind him. He started pushing buttons and opened up the sunroof to pop his upper half out of.

“What is he doing?” Loki asked. Thor shrugged neutrally.

“Being a show off,” the others replied as though it were a great chore to deal with the billionaire in such a state. Loki found out it was. It took them four times longer to make their way to lunch than if Tony had kept inside.

But their lunch had gone off smoothly and with little interruptions. Thankfully, Clint and Loki found they were a food couple match, that is to say, Clint hated uncooked tomatoes, which Loki adored, and the god did not enjoy the flavour of the purple onions, which the archer gladly took. Loki had to admit, the food was delicious. The savoury juicy meet, tangy cool dressing, rich aromas, and slightly sweet bread made the god’s mouth water for more.

Afterward they headed to a bookstore, occasionally being stopped after they ditched the limo and Tony’s ego had reached its needs for the day. Steve, Tony, and Thor branched off to go across the way to a sports place, leaving the other four to wander among the books and music in peace.

“Have you read this?” Bruce asked holding out a book to the god. “ _‘I linger yet with Nature, for the night hath been to me a more familiar face than that of man_ ’.”

 “‘ _And in her starry shade of dim, and solitary loveliness, I learn’d the language of another world_ ’.” Loki took it and nodded his head, “I started reading _Manfred_ before I was transferred. I never finished.”

“Well, now you can, and keep it too.”

“How much?” he asked looking the simple covered book over.

“Never mind the price. Tony said to make sure you had the essentials. To me that means: clothes, personal hygiene stuff, and books.”

“I am indebted to you both,” he bowed his head respectfully grateful. “Is this the only thing Lord Byron wrote?”

“No, we’ll look for a book of his poems. Come on, I think I know of a section you might enjoy.” He led the god toward the other side of the store.

Barton watched them as he leaned against a tall bookshelf, arms cross, a little unhappily.

“What?” Tasha asked sensing his mood.

“Bruce is getting nerdy with my boyfriend.”

“You can’t be the only one to talk with him,”

“I know…but I wanted to be the one to introduce him to Lord Byron and the classic section…”

“You can still do that,” she sighed and pulled out a book to look it over.

“How?”

“Sneak over and find out what they’re talking about. Hopefully Banner will just show him a few and not the whole thing. Grab a Virginia Woolf book, pick up a book of Frost or Wordsworth, add in one of your normal fantasy ones, and nab a colouring book.” She put the book back and then continued to look through the selection.

“I think I’m going to sneak over there and find out what they’re talking about,” Clint said, obviously not having consciously paid her words any attention. Natasha rolled her eyes. He could be so thick at times.

“And this one?”

“It’s call _Beowulf_ ,”

“Interesting…” Loki opened the book and looked at the pages thoughtfully, “one side is the original text and the other the modern? I do enjoy this.”

“Yeah? How about this Greek and English version of the _Iliad_?”

“Oh?”

So Barton suffered through thirty minutes of Banner and Loki chatting about poetry and a few of the classics, before Natasha found him.

“You’re pathetic,” she said looking him over. “Have you been standing here this whole time?”

“Sh,” he put a finger his lips as he glanced at her. He did a double take.  “Are those romance novels?” he frowned down at her basket of books

“Shut up. Your man is being word-wooed by a handsome brainiac.”

“I know,” he dramatically sighed torn. “He started quoting Shakespeare and for a small second I fell in love with him.”

“Banner has that way with females,” she nodded, giving his arm a small pat, and then went around the corner. “Hey! Have you girls found what you like?”

“Several,” Loki smiled very pleased, and ignored the assassin’s small insult. He was starting to see it as her way of showing affection. Maybe affection was not the right word, it was more of fondness or a recognition of one’s existence in a kind way. “I think I’ll take these three, if that is not too much?”

“Not at all,” Bruce laughed and set the others on a cart to be resorted. “Where is Clint?”

“Behind that shelf. He’s been listening to us for some time…” Loki waved a hand toward the shelving unit the archer was behind as he began reading one of his selected books.

“Clint?” Banner called going over. He found him looking at a book.

“Oh hey,” he shrugged nonchalantly.

“Um…looking to improve your sex life?” he asked trying to supress a knowing smile once he realised what Loki’s words had meant.

“What?” Clint looked up confused and then flipped the book over. Not only had he been holding it upside down, he had also, in his haste, snatched up a book about enhancing a woman’s orgasm. “Damn,” he hissed and stuffed it back on the shelf. “Okay you caught me!” he sighed frustrated. “I was –”

“No, if you want to buy it, then don’t let me judge or stop you. I’m sure Loki and you will find it very useful.”

“Shut the fuck up,” he grumbled, turning around, and headed toward his favourite section.

“No, seriously,” Banner called chuckling. “I hear these books really save marriages.”

Clint flipped him the bird before rounding the corner.

They checked out not long after Clint had snagged a Wordsworth, a few fantasy, and a hefty colouring book. They found Tony waiting for them at the register and once the transaction was complete, all of them headed back toward the mansion: Natasha and Steve talked about the things he’d bought; Thor explained his ‘warrior’ store adventure excitedly to Bruce; Tony texted someone anxiously; and Clint walked beside Loki, who had his nose in a book.

So far, the day had been pretty well, until they heard a giant blast that shook the area. Everyone stopped for a second and then looked at each other.

Tony pushed buttons on his phone and then hit speed dial. “Hey, Happy? Yeah, just around the corner. Yep. Thanks.” He hung up. “Okay, who wants to watch bags while the rest of us run and play?”

“Here,” Banner said handing his glasses off to Steve. “I’ll go check it out.” He took a breath and shook himself before sprinting off. It was a little bit before they heard a loud cry that morphed into a roar. They looked at each other: trouble.

It took a minute for Happy to pull up just as Tony’s suit landed. Everyone gave their things over and sprang into action. Thor pulled his hammer out from his breast pocket, the thing magically forming to its original shape in his hand, and he summoned a bolt of lightning down bringing forth his armour and pulling strength from the earth. Natasha activated her bracelets and strapped her utility belt and gun holster on before taking off. Steve grabbed his shield and followed after her.

Clint strapped his quiver on and activated his bow as Tony walked over to them, now safe inside his suit. “Here,” he said handing the god a gun.

Loki held up his hand. “No, I’ll be fine,” he insisted and pushed the iron hand toward the archer. “Take it in case.”

Clint strapped on a thigh holster and stuck the gun there with a sigh as he held out his arms. “Alright Tony, up and out.”

“Katniss to the rescue!” he called, his faceplate sliding into place just as he shot up into the air with Clint in his arms.

Loki turned and found Thor waiting for him. “Shall we?” he asked. Loki nodded. Thor took a step toward him and Loki took one back.

“What are you doing?” he asked holding up his hands a bit.

He frowned. “It would be faster to –”

“Oh no. I’ll saw my arm off before I ever let you handle me and fly around again!”

Thor gave a sigh. “Very well. On foot?” Loki gave a nod and they both raced off after everyone.

\-------------------------------------------------

The damage was minimal compared to most situations they had all been in, but the safety of many had been at stake. Someone had blasted out the side of the Grand Central Station and had tried to use the people inside as hostages. The fight hadn’t been long or much of a fight; the two new villains were mediocre and sloppy, leaving the seven heroes to hobble home with scrapes, bruises, and busted lips.

Thor was sporting a black eye with pride; Loki had gotten slammed in the ribs; Tony’s suit had some major damage for his recklessness, yet could easily be fixed; Natasha had rolled her ankle; Steve had a shallow slash along his thigh; and Clint and Banner where covered with extra bruises and sore muscles.

“Shame they got away,” Thor sighed, as the bus they had decided to take stopped not too far from their home.

“They wouldn’t have if everyone would have left things to me,” Natasha said darkly as Steve helped her up so she could hop to the stairs.

“You know you couldn’t have run after them with your ankle like this,” Roger’s tried rationalising with her gently. Thor waited at the bottom of the stairs to helped get her down.

“Actually, she could have. She just would have been sorry for it later,” Clint came to Tasha’s defence. Steve gave him a warning look to not encourage the argument further and then scooped Romanoff up into his arms.

“One good punch,” she pouted.

“You alright?” Clint asked as he waited for Loki to exit the bus.

He patted his side gently and gave a devilish smile. “Oh yes, _he_ won’t be though.”

“Loki does not take well to those who fight dirty,” Thor explained, mainly for everyone’s benefit. Clint already knew such, even before the feeling of revenge seeped into the bond.

“Great fighting though,” Tony complimented the younger god as they all headed for the safety of solid walls and the promise of warm baths. “That thing you did with the sign post and then when you flip over the car to do the kick? That was cool.”

“Changing a simple sign into a weapon is a child’s trick,” Loki made a small dismissive gesture. “The greater skill lies within the magic of your suit.”

“Oh, flattery will get you things,” Tony warned with a smile as his ego soared to life. “Like custom made gear or a get-out-of-jail-free card.”

“I believe I have already spent the latter reward,”

“Eh, details are in the fine print and no one reads that,” he shrugged.

“I do,” Banner muttered and pulled the short robe around him securely. “Do you think that maybe we could invest in someone carrying something that held clothes for me after a battle?”

“But we always have so much fun finding things for you,” Stark whined. “Like the cop that let you have that.”

“Yeah, well I don’t honestly think I like the idea that a New York cop just carries this style of robe around with him on patrol.”

“Makes you wonder,” Clint laughed.

“I’d rather not,” he glared at the archer and then pulled the back part of the robe down in fear of exposing himself. “Besides, this is far too short for a man of his physique to have worn comfortably.”

“I think he might have used it as a fancy belly shirt,” Tony teased wiggling his hips, the suit creaked and hissed as jammed parts moved against each other.

“Tony,” Banner warned as the other guy jumped up inside of his mind, still primed and ready for another fight.

The billionaire backed off and pulled out his ID card, swiping it in front of the outside scanner. “Seven to beam aboard, Jarvis.”

“Ready when you are, sir.”

“Energise!” The door clicked unlocked. Tony grabbed and opened it, letting the others file in quickly before he slipped in and yanked it shut. “Not bad for a first day.”

“No, except for the part where a guy with a giant ball and his lover with massive hands attempted to hold up a station before skipping off to freedom,” Natasha snapped still sore over the villains escaping.

“Didn’t get your fill of ass kicking today did you?” Tony muttered making a face and pushed the button for the elevator.

“My quota’s a little low for the month; care to help me fix it?” The smile she gave him would have made Fury tear up in fear and the Hulk hide under a table like a puppy during a thunderstorm.

Fury. “Oh fuck,” Tony sighed and almost knocked himself out when he went to face palm.

“What?” everyone asked.

“I still need to go to the house.”

“Well it’s still early,” Banner reasoned.

“Yeah we can head over in like an hour,” Clint said with a shrug.

“We?” Tony raised a brow at him.

“What? You’re going to just throw us in a place without seeing it first?”

“Uh, yeah,” he nodded as they all began piling into the lift.

“That’s totes unfair,” Clint sighed.

Tony made a face. “Did you just say ‘totes’?”

“Did I stutter?”

“Can you be any gayer right now?”

“Could you be a bigger pain in the ass?”

“That’s it! Jarvis!”

“Yes, sir?”

“Take this man’s TV and porn privileges away!”

“As you wish, sir,” the A.I. sounded almost as though he were about to sigh.

“That’s cool,” Clint shrugged and moved a little closer to Loki with a challenging look at the genius.

Tony glared at him. “And his boyfriend!”

“Sir, I am not capable of actually doing such a thing.”

“Then what do I pay you for?”

“You don’t.”

“Well I wonder why.”

“He’s a genius,” Steve whispered to Banner who covered his mouth with a hand to stop himself form laughing. It was too late; everyone else had heard and began roaring with laughter. Tony kept throwing out insults and threats to get them to stop but it only made things worse. Loki laughed even harder once Clint privately explained that Jarvis wasn’t a real person.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bonus: from the sparing clues I left, see if you can guess who the villains are. Do you have an idea? Great! Your prize is knowing who they are and another chapter on the weekend!   
> Everyone who doesn't know, and it's fine if you don't, also gets a prize: a chapter on the weekend!  
> Look everyone wins!


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So if you don't watch Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. you haven't seen the episodes about what happened to Phil between being stabbed and not being stabbed...but...um...I don't honestly like the explanation we've been given. Like I really am against it. I can't tell you why, but it might have to do with the beautifully sad headcanon I came up with during the credits of Avengers so that I could leave the theatre not in tears and function. So I'm going to incorporate that into my story (and of course it will take a while ;D ehehehe) instead of whatever AOS gave us...because...yeah.
> 
> So yeah! Here is the chapter! I changed a bit at the end, so hopefully I wrapped up any loose ends from the snipping. If not, expect changes within the next few days. Sorry about it. It's remnants from the mega plot holes from cutting and moving things around so much.
> 
> All mistakes are my own. Please enjoy the chapter!

\----------------------29----------------------

Tony and Bruce road to Tony’s family home in silence. The drive wasn’t a fairly long one, and the police let the car through once they saw the sticker tapped to the windshield. Tony had thought it better to forgo the limo in order to save space on the streets and not draw too much attention. Bruce thought it was a great idea considering it was only the two of them and Happy, and most especially since Pepper had phoned in a panic after hearing the news about the station. Now Banner and Stark could see her eagerly waiting with two men in uniform, just at the foot of the walkway, while several other officers swept the front lawns of the Stark Manor.

“Tony!” she sighed relived and rushed to him as he got out of the vehicle.

“Hey!” he smiled holding her close. “Look, see? I’m fine. I told you.”

She slapped him across the face before pulling him in for a simple kiss. “Don’t do that again,” she warned.

“I’ll have Jarvis call you next time, alright?” He rubbed his face as she frowned at his new promise. “Good, okay so who are they?”

Pepper turned and introduced Jonathan O’Durrien, the police commissioner, and his assistant, Pat Moretti. Bruce waited off to the side and observed the outside of the house. It looked abandoned; old yet still held a feeling of being wanted. No. Needed. It felt of the owner’s inability to let go, and on a removed degree, emotional attachment that still mattered and secretly drove their motives in life.

“Brucy,” Tony said to get the scientist’s attention. He gestured to the front door and Banner followed them up the over grown front walk and into the house. If the outside looked abandoned, the inside was something more. It looked as though it were a long forgotten temple with cobwebs draped all over and dust blanketing everything. There were papers and objects randomly scattered about, some looking as though they hadn’t been disturbed in ages and some very apparently recent.

They were lead from the main entrance to a side hall and down to the back corner of the house. The room was nothing large, yet nothing small. The walls were lined, ceiling to floor, with bookcases, still packed tightly and decorated with a few knickknacks. There was a large overturned desk, some broken chairs, and generally and overall mess. The mess was new, the desk and two of the chairs though had been flipped and partially destroyed long ago.

“This was where we found the men. They were looking through your books and yanking light fixtures off the walls.” The chief explained and pointed to the spots his team had marked off and numbered. “They got on a radio and then jumped out this window. There are tracks leading further into the house as well.”

“How far?” Tony asked looking around at the damage as he carefully picked his way around.

“There are four sets leading into the kitchen and back, two to the upstairs, and one toward the front.”

“That was a small operation. One for each of us then…” he mumbled to himself and then rubbed at his chin. “How many did you say you have in custody?” Tony asked over his shoulder and moved toward the window to look out it.

“Two. The rest slipped past us. There were more outside waiting for them. They were pulled up cables and into some sort of flying device.”

“Some sort?” Banner frowned at the commissioner.

O’Durrien shrugged. “Alright, well to be honest we don’t know what it was. Maybe an advanced helicopter or something, all I know was that it was impressive and silent. Some of the boys want to say aliens.” He laughed at the notion and shook his head. The others didn’t. He cleared his throat and rubbed at his neck a bit apprehensive. “I can’t say…I wasn’t here for the…invasion earlier this year. I only know what I saw and it wasn’t anything I’ve seen before.”

“How big was it?” Banner asked.

“A little bit bigger than a helicopter.”

“So not the carrier,” he muttered and went to where Tony was examining the area around the window.

“What would they be doing here? I thought you’d moved all of your father’s work into the company vault?” Pepper asked stepping over a vase that had been over turned; the dried out dead flowers scattered across the ground with the white and blue porcelain pieces in an odd time-standing-still sort of way.

Tony looked down at it. It was his mothers. Had been. Still was. She loved that vase. His father hated it. He had always threatened to break it. Tony almost rolled his eyes; even in death they were probably fighting about the stupid thing. “They were,” he said putting his hands in his pockets and moved toward the centre of the room, looking at the walls carefully.

Banner stood in front of him and lowered his voice, “Tony, this can’t be S.H.I.E.L.D.”

“What makes you say that?”

“They wouldn’t leave two of their men.”

“They would if they were still green,” he replied trying to move past him.

“No,” Bruce held up an arm to stop him. “No, they wouldn’t have. They take out the things that pose a security risk. You heard the commissioner, it wasn’t the carrier they left in; it was something else.”

He shrugged, “S.H.I.E.L.D. has lots of technology. It would be a bad move to bring the carrier over this city after what happened in the spring. So what? Sometimes they have a brain.”

“What would they be doing here then? Seven men sent inside, you said one for each of us, why here?”

“They were looking for us,”

“Right,” he said and took a breath. “Seven men. Silently entering a house in the middle of the night.”

“S.H.I.E.L.D. cleaning up security risks,”

They looked at each other for a moment, both of them whispering “the box” to each other. It took a moment for them to bring themselves back together. If S.H.I.E.L.D. had figured out about that and were looking for it, the team coming out in the open today was more than a risky move. It was an invitation for the bastards to ring their doorbell with explosives.

Tony cleared his throat and ran a hand down his front, “I need you to call the others and tell them to be on alert.” Banner nodded and swallowed, taking a step back as Tony moved past him. He raised his voice and put on a normal face to keep Pepper and the police from knowing the worst. “They weren’t looking for any of that. My father’s works and stuff.”

“What then?” Pepper asked looking through a destroyed photo album.

“This,” he sighed, finally noticing someone had already pulled it, and several days ago too. He tilted the book back and the wall opened up with a creaking sound and a puff of dust. “When my father rebuilt this place, he had secret passages put in just in case any of his enemies came looking for him. There are tons of ways in and out of this mansion, and several rooms underground.” He paused for a second and then stuck his head in the passageway and sniffed. He frowned and sniffed again. “S.H.I.E.L.D. wasn’t in here for fun or to see how they could learn the ins and outs of this place,” he continued to sniff and took a step inside as the faint smell of food and air that had been disturbed, after many years of peace, hit him. “They were following someone.”

“Tony?” Pepper hissed rushing over to try and pull him back.

“You better let us get in there first,” Jonathan advised. Tony shrugged everyone off and started down the stairs quickly. The commissioner and Banner holding Pepper back as they made quickly made plans for back up.

The area should have smelled stale and dusty. No one should have been down here. This was his house. His family’s home. This was where he’d learned to walk, talk, work, think, dream, play, read, write, live! These where the stairs his father would call drills for when he was younger. This was where his mother had stood and showed him the secret ways and helped him hide when his father was being overbearing.

He paused and looked into a room. This was where he’d hidden after the kids in school had bullied him. He could remember his mother and father fighting over it. His mother had made the choice to home-school him from then on. His father made the choice to double his drinking habits and keep late hours at the office.

 The further Tony went in, the less pleasant it should have smelt; instead, it was another sort of unpleasantness: the kind which smelled of tuna, baked beans, and intrusiveness. Someone was down there and whoever they were, they had better brace themselves for the greatest and hardest ass-kicking of their lives. No one was going to get away with breaking into _his_ house.

“Tony!” Pepper’s voice faintly echoed called after him. He ignored it and followed his nose. He knew the dark halls by memory and navigated them on silent feet until he heard someone’s soft laughter. He froze and reached into his breast pocket for the flat small stun gun he’d been working on last night. Tony looked at the bottom of the doors until he found one emitting a soft glow. He snuck toward it and listened.

“Shut up,” someone hissed. “I’m trying my best. We’re lucky some of this stuff doesn’t have an expiration date.”

“Tell that to my guts after they evacuate my body!”

Something moved out of the corner of his eye. Tony’s head snapped to the side and he saw it was only Banner. He motioned for his friend to remain silent and come over. Bruce did and pointed to the door, giving him a look that asked ‘who?’. Tony shrugged. He looked around and motioned for an empty room a little further up.

When they stepped into it they put their faces close together and didn’t dare speak above a whisper.

“I sent a warning,” Banner explained. “The SWAT team is on their way.”

“I don’t need a –”

“We don’t know who is in there.”

“Yeah, well whoever is, is eating my mother’s beans and tuna,”

“Sh.” They both stopped and listened.

“Bruce I need –”

“I know,” he nodded. “I’ve got your back, just tell me what to do.”

He pulled back and patted his friend’s shoulder before they moved back toward the door. Tony held up three fingers. Banner nodded and watched until Stark had counted down. At one they sprang into action, knocking the door opened and raced into the room, Bruce going left to cover any exits on the far side and Tony stayed near  the door.

“Hands up or I’ll –” he began and then choked as his heart leaped into his mouth. He felt his brain fry and time slow. _Oh my god_ …

“Oh my god,” Bruce whispered as his body relaxed involuntarily.

There was a scuffling sound a second later and Pepper came running to Tony’s side, the SWAT team pouring in to cover them all. She froze once she saw the two men calmly sitting on the floor with their hands raised and placed behind their heads.

“Hello Pepper,” Phil smiled at her. “It’s good to see you.”

Tony, thankfully, had good enough reflexes and was able to catch Pepper in time before she hit the ground. Bruce ran over to help make sure she was alright.

“What do you think you’re doing here?” Tony demanded glaring at Fury.

“Trying not to get caught,” he replied honestly.

“Great job _master_ spy,” he jerked his head toward the two in the middle of the room. “Arrest him.”

“Tony,” Bruce scolded lightly. “We don’t know –”

“Arrest him!”

“Mr. Stark, I can explain,” Phil began and stood holding his hands behind his back so as not to make a fuss for the officers as they swarmed in on them. They forced the two to the ground and began patting them down.

Tony squeezed his eyes shut and pressed the heel of one of his hands to his forehead. “Bruce, I think I’m going crazy.”

“No, he’s there.”

“No…” he felt his chest tighten and he forced himself to take a breath. “No we buried him.”

“Tony, breathe.”

“Tony let us explain,” Fury said gently as the officers cuffed and began ushering them from the room.

“We buried him,” Tony said again.

“I kn–”

“You said if I didn’t sleep this would happen. I-I-I should have listened.”

“To–”

“WE BURIED HIM!” he shouted.

“Tony!” Bruce grabbed his shoulders. “Stop for a second. If what you said upstairs was true and Fury and Phil are here, shouldn’t we be asking them questions instead of arresting them?”

“He can’t be here,” he blinked away tears. “We buried him! I was there!”

“I know,” Bruce put his hands on either side of Tony’s face to get him to look at him. “But we need to focus right now and find a place to sit down.”

“This is a trick,” he rubbed at his eyes and blinked looking around. “This isn’t real.”

Pepper stirred. “T…Tony?” she whispered looking around still a bit dizzy.

“Can you stand or do you need a minute?” Bruce asked her.

She shrugged and then held out her hand, the scientist helped her up. She leaned against the door frame. “I…I thought –”

“You did. It was him.”

“I’m going to faint again,” she warned swaying a bit. Tony was up and at her side in an instant. “I need to sit,” she sighed and began unstrapping the bulletproof vest the team had forced on her.

“I’ll get you a chair,” he offered.

“No, Tony, I need…air,” she fanned herself, “fresh air…maybe a drink.”

They headed back toward the exit and found a young officer waiting for them. “We wanted to know what you wished for us to do with them,” he explained.

Tony shook himself as he cleared his throat. “Um,…” he rubbed his face. “Escort them into the sitting room near the front door. Keep an eye on them.” The men nodded and went up quickly to relay the message.

Tony felt as though he were in a dream and wondered if anyone else was feeling the same intense unsettling sense of not being real. He looked around at the others as they exited the secret passage and guessed they were in the same boat.

Tony helped Pepper into a chair before opening the window nearest her. “Alright,” he said clinching his teeth together a few times and rubbed his hands nervously. “You have five minutes.”

“I request a private audience,” Fury said leaning back into the couch confidently, despite his current situation.

“ _You_ don’t get to request anything! You’re lucky I’m even letting you speak. If it wasn’t for –” he pointed angrily toward Phil and then turned away. He still couldn’t believe it.

“Could you, give us a moment?” Pepper asked the officers apologetically.

The chief made a face and sighed as though he didn’t like the idea, and he didn’t, but he nodded and motioned for his men to leave. “I’ll stand outside the door. Call when we’re needed. I’m sending Moretti down with another team to search the lower level.”

“Thank you,” she gratefully said for their understanding and cooperation. The room cleared and only Bruce, Tony, Pepper, Phil, and Fury remained.

“Three minutes,” Tony warned still upset and began pacing.

“I wanted to tell you,” Fury began. “I wanted to tell all of you.”

“He wasn’t really dead that day was he?”

“No,”

“Why did you lie!?” he yelled and spun angrily toward him.

“Because you fuckers wouldn’t have gotten together and stopped Loki, that’s why!” He sighed heavily and dropped his head, “I’m sorry. I really am…I was hoping to tell you all once everything settled down…my plans have been changed.”

“Couldn’t get that bonus vacation?”

“I did, thanks to you boneheads busting a criminal out of my custody. Council takes very kindly to that.” He shook his head dropping the attitude and honestly confessed, “I was lucky to make it here.”

“Unlucky for us,” Stark muttered darkly and turned to stare at the wall with his back to everyone.

“Tony,” Pepper gently begged and then redirected her attention to Phil, “I just,” she swallowed and shook her head, putting her hands on her temples as she blinked a rapidly. “I don’t know what to say. I’m afraid I’m going to wake up any minute.”

“I’m here,” he confirmed. “I’ve been looking for you all since the break out. Fury and I met up and we broke in here. I was going to just show up at the building, but we didn’t know if you all would ever come out of hiding again or if you would even answer the door. Nick said this would get your attention better.”

“Oh it did,” she agreed with a sigh.

“I want an explanation,” Bruce said softly, yet his tone was firm and implied he was withholding his anger with great strain. His arms were locked in front of his chest tightly and his jaw was clenching and unclenching. He looked uncomfortable. He was. The other guy was stalking dangerously close to the borders of change. He had already dealt with enough during the fight and having to stay calm for Tony down below had taken its toll, just one little push and there would be no stopping his rage for a while.

“I can give it,” Phil nodded and then gestured for the couch and chairs with his head, “Would you all like to sit down?” The two males shook their heads. “Very well. Let’s see…I guess I’ll start from when I was stabbed.” The others flinched. Bruce growled a little and Tony tensed. Pepper closed her eyes and stayed perfectly still. “Well, I was stabbed, but believe it or not it wasn’t fatal. The sceptre missed the mark. I was lowered to a boat and then taken to a hospital and worked on from there. Fury gave me the orders to stay low, so I did. I was half way healed by the time Thor left the first time. We agreed that it was better if I stayed out of things until later. I was hoping for a Thanksgiving or Christmas reunion, but the escape and the government trying to push these regulation acts, as well as the council taking sides, has changed things.”

“Is that why you are here?” Bruce asked Fury neutrally.

The former director nodded his head. “They voted me out.”

“I wonder why?” Tony muttered bitterly.

Pepper looked back at the billionaire and then turned apologetically to Fury. “What happened?”

He took a breath, “I was trying to keep S.H.I.E.L.D. from finding you all…”

The story Fury told them wasn’t the full truth. It stuck to specifics, not too much here or there on certain things and spared great detail. Everyone remained silent as Fury explained how he left his position and the Helicarrier not long after he gave his final orders to Hill; she was in charge and had to play with the cards she was given carefully, so nothing she did from now on could be held fully against her; how Phil and he met up on a bus and broke in through with the back window several days ago and ran out of the food they brought with them two days ago; S.H.I.E.L.D. only found their trail last night and he ended with apologising for any damages their being there had caused.

What he didn’t speak of was why S.H.I.E.L.D. was looking for him or how many people knew Phil was still alive. He also didn’t mention if he knew whether the sceptre was missing or not, and the two geniuses weren’t going to press that matter.

“That’s it?” Tony said crossing his arms tightly over his chest.

“Yes,” Fury nodded.

“Why are they after you?” Fury didn’t say anything, which only pissed Tony off further. “Look! I’m being over generous here! Throw me something to catch a hold of or else I’m sending you both to S.H.I.E.L.D. in a box marked ‘Do not open until Christmas’ and forget to drill air holes into it!”

“Tony, please,” Pepper said and carefully stood. She went to him and began whispering. He jerked back and opened his mouth as if he were about to shout protests, but she held up a hand and pulled him back in to continue her calm words.

Bruce glanced at the two agents on the couch and then away. He couldn’t stop himself from being angry right now, Hulk or no, he was downright pissed. Of all the – he took a deep breath and rubbed his hands over his face. The big guy grunted and shifted restlessly. He needed to get back to the tower and into the lower training room. He had maybe thirty minutes left, and he was pushing it with twenty of those minutes.

Tony and Pepper went to the door. “We’ll be back,” he said as they closed it tightly behind them.

“You look good,” Phil said nicely.

“Don’t mess with me right now,” Banner warned and closed his fists tightly.

“Sorry,”

He jumped and gave a small roar as he felt his phone buzz in his pocket. He looked down at it and gave a frustrated sigh. It was her. He looked back at the two. He knew he shouldn’t leave them, but he also knew if he didn’t take this call something bad would happen. “I’m going to take this, and if you both try leaving, I’ll let the other guy smash you into the road.”

The two nodded and Bruce quickly went to ask someone to watch them while he took the call.

Phil watched the gamma-specialist leave and then looked back and Fury before the officer entered far enough in to hear what he was about to say. “Why didn’t you tell them the truth?”

“I did.”

Phil gave a tiny sigh. “You’re embarrassed.”

“I am not.”

“You are, you’re embarrassed that I figured out where they were be –”

“Hey!” The officer said sternly and flashed his gun in warning. “No talking!”

The two shut their mouths.

\-------------------------------------------------

**_Earlier That Week------------------------------------------------------------_ **

Fury pushed their bags through the back window before tossing his floppy hat in after. He turned back to Coulson, who was keeping watch, and nodded. The agent gave him a silent small salute and they both quickly climbed in.

“You don’t think he’d mind us doing this?”

“No, it’ll be fine. I know all of the hidden rooms and corridors. I used to visit here all of the time.”

“Could have fooled me. From the way he acted toward you, it was as though you’d never met.”

“Yeah…well his father had a weird will.”

Phil dusted his hands and they grabbed their things and headed for the stairs. The place looked as though it had been abandoned, which he guess was true in the sense that its owner had given up and closed the estate almost twenty years ago. He looked around at the cobwebs and lightened his step to keep the dust from rising up too much in his wake.

“They’ll follow our footprints; we’ll go into the kitchen and then head back to the window. It’ll make it seem as though we came and left.”

“Then what?”

Fury began ripping off pieces of the fake beard and tucked them into his coat pocket until he could dispose them later. “I hit a secret button and we hide out for a while.”

“How do you know they’re going to come here?”

“Because I’m being followed,”

“I’m not talking about S.H.I.E.L.D., I’m talking about Tony and the others.”

“Because it’s his home,”

They went into the kitchen, walked in circles and then headed back to the window.

“I have to admit, this is a much better plan than the one that I had,” Phil whispered as he watched Fury leaned over and pull a specific book. The bookshelf slid to the side, revealing a long set of stairs going down.

“It’s not the best, but I do love surprises,” Nick smiled and they tiptoed, careful to not disturb anything and disappeared behind the wall.

**_Two Nights Ago------------------------------------------------------------_ **

“I thought you said he’d show up?” Phil sighed as he lay on the ground and stared at the ceiling.

“I guess we didn’t trip the wire,”

“Or it’s deactivated.”

Fury rolled his eyes and then searched his pack. “Got any food?”

“Nope.”

“Me either.”

“How do we always find ourselves in this predicament?”

“How is that I’ve managed to put up with you this long?”

“You always manage to get us into trouble. Remember Afghanistan?”

“Remember my foot in your ass?”

Phil laughed. “Oh, Selvig says ‘hi’.”

“How is he?”

“Ready to lose his marbles!”

“Not due to the New York incident?”

Phil shook his head. “Nope, it is a personal thing. He’s been under mental and emotional investigations and evaluations since he started working and publishing.”

“Under whose authority?” Fury snapped.

The other agent shrugged nonchalantly. “You have your people, I have mine.”

“Your people are _my_ people.”

He shrugged again. “Okay.”

Nick glared at him. “I hate you.” It earned him a laugh. “This isn’t funny.”

“It is! It is though. This is just like Budapest.”

“We agreed to never mention that again,”

“Fine, but let me just add I’m grateful we have toilet paper this time.”

“Toilet paper and no food,” he shook his head with a sigh. “We are so sad to be excited over one and not the other.”

They both laughed. Later they started poking around and rounded up a few cans. Some looked highly questionable, but if it was a matter of diarrhoea or starving, they’d both been in worse situations. They had enough paper to last them at least another day or two.

**_Last Night------------------------------------------------------------_ **

“I think they’re gone,” Phil whispered after the sound of feet and sirens had subsided almost an hour ago.

“Best to keep things to a minimum just in case,” Fury responded just as softly.

“I never thought we’d be doing this again,” he said with a light chuckle as he pulled his thin sleeping bag back out from the inside of his pack.

“Neither did I,”

“Remember when we were stuck on enemy lines and decided to swap all of their sugar and salt around?”

Nick laughed and unrolled his own sleeping bag. “Yeah their faces were priceless.”

They settled down to rest in the small nearly empty storage room again. This time keeping the lantern off and their things close just in case they had to move again.

“I found some beef jerky if you’re hungry. I noticed you haven’t eaten in a while,” Phil offered.

“I ate yesterday.”

“Those peas went through you faster than –”

“They were coming out of _my_ body. I’m well aware they were breaking the speed limit.”

Phil chuckled and then cleared his throat as shifted a little. “I meant before we came here. You haven’t been eating regularly or at all.”

“How do you know that?”

“Your gut looks smaller,”

They kept their mirth as quiet as possible.

“I’m going to put a red card in your file for saying that,” Nick jokingly threatened once their laughter had died down.

“People are going to question how a dead man could obtain a warning.”

“Haunting pain in my ever-loving ass,” he sighed and shook his head.

“How soon until you think Tony shows up?”

“Tomorrow…he’ll come out of hiding to make personally sure this place is safe.”

“I told you we didn’t trip the wire,”

“Well those idiots sure did.”

“I feel kind of bad for doing this. I know how much this place means to him.”

“Bad?” he looked at him as though he were crazy. “For all the hell that little shit has put us through and you feel bad about this _one_ tiny thing?”

“It’s from my mother’s side,” he held up a hand dismissively. “You know the British.”

“How’s she doing?”

“Not well…time hasn’t been good to her.”

“Has she heard anything from him?”

“Yeah, she confirmed it this morning when I called her. You’ll never guess where they’re at.”

“I have a feeling I’m going to be kicking my own ass soon,”

“Stark Tower,”

Nick turned his face to look up at the ceiling and exhaled slowly, the disappointment in him slowly rising into self-directed anger. “I’ll do it in the morning.”

Phil laughed, “I’ll remind you.”

“This whole time?” he asked as though he really didn’t believe Coulson, and wanted to make sure he was sure.

“The whole time.”

“Damn, man! That’s not news I wanted to know.” He hissed and made a face, half of him still trying to deny it all.

“I think it’s funny.”

“Motherfucker, shut up and stop taunting me,” he grumpily snipped and rolled over to face the wall.

Phil laughed at his back and then rolled to face the other way. “Good night Nick.”

“Go the fuck to sleep!” he quickly huffed, as he manly pouted, very unhappy about the news. Coulson covered his mouth to stifle his enjoyment over his friend’s reaction.

As awful as it was hiding out and waiting, this was something they realised they both needed. It was hard maintaining a friendship when one was boss and the other was employee, and most especially even harder when they rarely saw each other anymore. The past few days had showed them that time might have passed, but thankfully, they still hadn’t grown up one bit. Nick’s hair falling out and Phil’s decision to cut his ponytail off might have made them look a little older or feel more mature, and yeah their physical appearances had changed some, but take away the stress of the council and the weight of the world for a few moments and they were just two stupid kids back in basic training hoping to save the world and prove themselves a hero, just like their idol: Captain America.

\-------------------------------------------------

Fury and Phil where escorted to the tower still handcuffed. Bruce and Tony stepped out of the elevator and found Natasha and Steve in the living room.

“What happened?” she asked.

“Where is everyone else?” Tony asked looking around.

“We put JARVIS on yellow and were waiting. Banner said you’d found –” Steve began.

“Yeah, we found…stuff,” Tony sighed and waved a hand to get them to back up. “Um, you might want to sit.”

“Why?”

“Just sit,” Bruce pleaded a little. The two nodded and did as they were told.

“Jarvis!”

“Yes, sir?”

“Get everyone else in here,”

“Yes, sir.”

“Should we wait?” Bruce asked.

“Yeah,” he nodded his head. “We’ll call them up when we’ve all assembled.”

“What is going on?” Natasha demanded sharply.

“Everyone is getting shock therapy today,” Tony snipped back.

\-------------------------------------------------

Clint rolled over and buried his face into Loki’s side. “I didn’t mean to fall asleep,” he managed to say around dry stale sleep breath and a sluggish tongue.

Loki turned a page in his book, “You needed the rest.”

“No,” he groaned and shifted, his legs stretching out as he slipped his arms around the god. “I was fine.”

“You were snoring.”

“It was dream singing,”

Loki chuckled and set the book aside before pulling the archer closer to him. “It was very lovely, whatever it was.”

“Well, I am working on wooing you. It’s a twenty-four-seven thing,” he grinned. Loki leaned in for a kiss and Clint turned his head to the side. “My breath is rank.”

“I don’t understand what that means,”

“It tastes gross.”

“I’ll be the judge of that,” he said turning Clint’s face to him and then kissed him sweetly. He pulled back and licked his lips. “Yes…tastes of song and pleasant slumber.”

“Can you say the words ‘tastes’ ‘pleasant’ and ‘sex’ again?”

“I didn’t say ‘sex’,”

“Shh,” he held a finger to the god’s lips as he closed his eyes. “Just do the thing.”

Loki laughed and decided to string them into an elegantly spoken sentence. “Your sex tastes pleasant.”

“Oh,” he moaned and moved to pull him even closer. “That was…damn just…”

“Excuse me, sirs,”

“We’re busy, Justin. Come back later,” Clint called and began kissing Loki.

“Mr. Stark demands you both to come down to the Community Level.”

“Busy,” he called again and slipped a hand under Loki’s shirt.

“It is of the up most importance that you both –”

“Busy!”

“Clint,” Loki whispered as he pulled back. “We should –”

“Keep kissing? Yes.”

“Miss Romanoff wishes for me to relay a message,”

“Nope,”

“Please put it through,” Loki said. Clint gave him a look that demanded to know how such a betrayal could ever happen between them. Loki kissed the tip of his nose to distract him for a few moments.

“Miss Romanoff says that if you both do not come down this instant she will…well…I shall censor it; however, I can assure you both it is most unpleasant and involves the removal of a specific –”

“Got it!” Clint bolted upright and began fumbling out of the bed. He knew better than to keep disobeying her request when she treatened such a thing. “We’re coming! We’re coming!”

Loki was confused, however he too rose and helped Clint untangled himself from the sheets before they hurried downstairs. Clint wouldn’t bother with the elevator after it took too long to open; instead, he used the stairs, dragging Loki along impatiently.

When they got to the living area, they found the rest of the team sitting around and Pepper downing a glass of scotch Tony was helping her hold. Her hands were shaking and she looked horribly pale.

“Great,” Banner said rubbing his hands nervously as he rose and went to the two. “Alright, um, take a seat,” he said gesturing toward the two chairs that had been left empty for them.

“What is going on?” Clint asked looking around. Loki scanned the area, something deep within him screaming for him to run. He pushed it down and nodded. They were about to sit when the elevator dinged and two people stepped out of the lift.

There was a moment of pure silence as the other Avengers took in the sight of the two handcuffed men. Eyes slowly widened and the five took a collective sharp inhale together. Clint was the first to move. He sprang at Fury.

“YOU FUCKING DICK!” he shouted.

Loki smoothly grabbed him back and pulled the two of them toward the wall defensively; his movement graceful and so fluid it looked almost as though he were dancing. Once the archer was far enough away, Clint came to his senses and pushed the god behind him protectively. Thor had stood and was flexing his fingers in and out of fists, the outside sky darkening as clouds began forming. Natasha was still and had her jaw clenched tightly. Steve’s jaw had dropped opened slightly and he blinked as though he was worried he was losing his vision.

“Hello,” Fury said calmly and bowed his head.

“Fury is going to tell you all a little story,” Tony said, unable to keep the bitterness from seeping into his voice. He gestured to the chairs they had pulled from the dining room and the two agents sat without hesitation.

“I…” Fury began and then wet his lips. “I am no longer the director of S.H.I.E.L.D.” The other Avengers tensed as his words slowly sank in. Fury saw that he had their full attention and continued. “After the Helicarrier attack, I had Phil secretly lowered onto a boat and…”


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's short, I know. The next one will be longer to make up for it.  
> Thank you all for your continued support! I honestly can't thank you enough for taking the time to check in to read and everything. 
> 
> All mistakes are my own. Please enjoy the chapter!

\----------------------30----------------------

Everyone remained silent once Fury had finished explaining the same story he had told Bruce, Tony, and Pepper a little earlier. After a few minutes, Natasha got up and limped over to Phil. She helped him stand to give him a tight hug. She pulled back to smiled at him for a second before punching him hard in the shoulder.

“Ouch!” he hissed and bent forward some, taking in the pain.

“I’m glad you’re back,” she said warmly and hugged him again.

“Thanks,” he tittered a bit and wished he could rub the spot to ease the ache.

“You on the other hand,” she said pointing a finger toward Fury, “are no longer my boss, therefore I can finally tell you how much of a horrible asshole you are and that I really don’t want to talk to you, or look at you. You’re lucky I don’t break your face.”

Nick nodded his head. “I understand and accept this.”

“I don’t,” Clint bristled and moved forward. “You are more than just a fucking asshole. You let us believe he was dead!”

“I did,”

“Just because you honestly thought we wouldn’t pull together? Are you fucking stupid or are you fucking stupid!?”

“Clint,” Bruce began and held up and arm to keep him from getting any closer to the former director.

“No, no!” he shouted. “This jack-off told us Phil was dead! Do you know how horrible I felt because of it? Do you know how much shit I had to take from other agents who blamed me for it? I almost took my own life because of this!”

“Clint,” Natasha soothingly said, putting her hands on his shoulders to push him back a bit. “Clint, look at me.”

“You sheep corpse fucking –”

“Loki,” Natasha beseeched for his help as she continued to hold Clint back.

“– mother ass licking, child ra–”

Loki stepped up and put a hand over the assassin’s mouth and an arm around his waist to help hold him in place. He tried connecting with him but found an impenetrable wall of wrath blocking the way. “I know you’re upset,” he whispered into his ear as Clint continued to speak under his hand, his skin turning red as his temperature rose. “You have every right –”

“Fuck yeah I have every right!” he said moving Loki’s hand out of the way. “Do you know how many asses I had to kiss and dicks I had to literally suck to keep my job because of this fucked up lie?”

“You are right with your anger, but wrong with where you are directing it,” the god said.

“No,” Clint pushed away from him and took a few steps back away from everyone. He wiped his mouth and shook his head quickly as he looked at Loki. “No, don’t you _dare_ take the fall for this.”

“He did stab him,” Steve said.

“Shut the fuck up Steve!” Clint yelled pointing at him aggressively.

“All right, everyone calm down,” Bruce said rubbing at his forehead. “ _Please_ ,” he added when he saw Clint open his mouth. The archer snapped it shut with the hard sound of his teeth hitting together and continued to pant with his anger.

“There is more you haven’t told us,” Tony said to Fury. “I didn’t question you back at the manor because there were too many ears to hear, but now, here, we’re alone, so spill.”

“What do you want to know?” Nick asked with a hint to his voice that he would answer anything openly and honestly within reason.

“The truth.”

“I told you –”

“No, the real _full_ version of why they are after you,”

He took a moment and gave a heavy sigh. “My breast pocket. There is a flash drive.”

Tony moved in and took it out quickly. He held it up to inspect. “What’s on it?”

“Everything.”

“All your porn huh?”

“No everything of S.H.I.E.L.D.,”

“What?” his head snapped to look at the master spy.

“Every file S.H.I.E.L.D. has about everything. It is the only thing that has a file with information regarding Phil’s recovery and details of how we faked his death.”

Tony stared at it a bit scared and excited. “I’m holding the world?”

“And what we know of Asgard and the Chitauri.”

He held it up for the others to see and with a reverent whisper of disbelief said… “This is…” he shook his head as the gravity of it all settled in.

Pepper held up her glass and tapped Tony’s arm. “I need another drink.”

“You and me both.”

“I’m going to jump in on that,” Bruce said going to retrieve another bottle and several glasses. He poured more for Pepper, some for Tony, and one for himself. He gave Steve the bottle and the solider doled out ones for the rest.

“So what do you want us to do?” Tony asked swallowing the bitter liquid down; his temper was still pretty bad, yet he kept himself professional and reasonable, especially in front of something so small and sleek and sexy as the piece of unimaginably important technology he currently held in his fingers.

“Well, if you wouldn’t mind, I’d like to ask a few questions now,” Nick said and turned toward where Clint and Loki where. The archer gave the director a look that could kill as he drained his glass in one gulp. Loki held his close to his chest and watched Clint instead of making eye contact. “Has…Loki told you the truth of why he came to earth?”

“No,” Banner said turning his head to glance at the pair and noted the god moving half a step back. “He only woke up a few days ago and we’ve…well this is sort of the first full day all of us have been around each other like this. Like…in such a manner.”

“Why, what do you know?” Tony pressed.

“Back in June, I had Professor Xavier come in to read Loki’s mind.”

“You did what!?” Clint snapped.

Natasha held her arm out in case he decided to start something physical. “Let him finish.”

“Did you know about this?” he demanded of her. She didn’t answer right away and it only made his temper worse. “This is fucked up! We didn’t even bring in Xavier for the weirdo in the red hood or the bastard with a target on his forehead and they did _way_ more damage in an evening than Loki did in those few weeks!”

“I had hoped that it would be a fast solution to him not speaking –” Fury continued.

“Are you serious!?”

“Clint,” Natasha begged and put her hand on his arm.

“–but he refused to tell us what he saw…until Phil went to visit him.”

They turned their attention to the agent. Loki took another step back toward the exit and kept his head down. His heart rate started to quicken. The professor had promised to keep it all secret. How could he break…? Anger gripped him and pulled the darkness up into his centre.

_And you thought he would be honest? And you thought he would do as he promised? Foolish stupid horrid –_

_Loki_? Clint called out concerned when he felt the negative emotions that associated the presence of the thing inside of Loki.

_Run before they can lock you away again!_ it shouted, causing the god to jump a bit.

Clint took a step toward him and grabbed his arm. He gave him a concerned determined look. _It’s fine_ , he promised. _I won’t let anything happen to you._

_More broken promises…_

Loki closed his eyes and let the archer pulled him closer. The darkness hushed once Clint had put his arm around him in both protection and comforting support.

“And?” Tony asked becoming impatient.

“I…I think it would be better if it came from the original source,” Phil confessed and looked at Loki. Everyone glanced at the god before looking at each other.

“You mean to tell me you’ve let this man free around the mansion and you haven’t questioned anything he –” Fury began; his tone suggested a lecture that an angry father would to his children.

“ _You_ don’t get to right now,” Natasha snapped holding up her hand to stop him. “I know what the rules are and I know when to do what is needed. He hasn’t posed a threat since he gave up at the end of the battle.”

Nick closed his mouth and let it go with a submissive nod of his head.

Thor went to Loki’s other side. “Why haven’t you spoken to me of this before?” he whispered.

“I –” he opened his mouth and found it hard to gather his words, let alone the air he needed to speak them. He tried again and went to answer, grabbing at his throat as the darkness lashed out. He turned away, letting Clint take the glass from his hand as he forced himself to swallow.

“Loki?” The thunder god asked concerned. “I – I didn’t mean to –”

“No, it’s the thing,” Clint explained and then turned to the others in the room who were watching them expectedly. “There’s a thing in him. It’s evil and sometimes it stops him from saying important things. We’ve tried having this conversation before.”

“Thing?” Fury raised his eyebrow.

“Evil?” Natasha tensed a little defensively.

The darkness hissed and jabbed at him bitterly to get back at Clint. He held his still tender ribs and was grateful when he felt Clint move to block him from the other’s view. “Loki?”

“I’m fine,” he said sinking to sit on the step which separated the living space from the raised kitchen area.

“Earlier during breakfast, that wasn’t your body still processing the chemicals…that was this thing wasn’t it?” Banner inquired, torn between his need to help and the other guy’s instinct to smash at the unknown threat.

Loki took a breath and then nodded. Thor sat next to him, “What can I do to help?”

He gave a rueful laugh, “You can’t. No one can…”

“Surely there must be a way?”

“Not here,” he shook his head. “No one on this realm.”

“Then Asgard?”

Loki tightened his fists and glared at his knees. “I’d rather die than return there and beg like a dog for help,” he spat.

“Don’t beg then, ask,” Clint reasoned.

“No,” he hissed low and then flinched as the darkness struck him again.

“For me?” Clint pleaded crouching before him. “You can’t refuse that?”

“Clint,” he whispered and squeezed his eyes shut.

“What’s going on?” Steve asked the others.

“Is it magic or sickness?” Thor pressed gently. “There are those here who would help.”

“Help drive a lance through my breast. Do you not recall what I brought here? Do you really think the guardians would help?” Loki countered hotly.

“Yes, I do. We have known them for many years. I can call for mother –”

“No!” Loki gasped and doubled over. “No, no, no. Leave her away from this.”

“Loki –”

“Silence!” he hissed forcing himself to breath as he covered his head with his arms.

“Give him a moment,” Clint finished the god’s thought and held a hand to stop Thor from touching his brother. “Wait,” he said and stood.

“What the hell is going on?” Natasha hissed, jerking him a few steps back.

“Loki can’t explain right now,” Barton said.

“What are you the Shinning?”

“Look,” he sighed. “All I know is that there is something inside of him and it’s not a Hoops and Yoyo card.”

“The shadow,” Phil nodded as he thought back to what Xavier had showed him.

Fury glanced at his friend and then gave a firm nod. “Fine. Is there something we can get him to help?”

“You sound like you suddenly know a lot about this shadow thing?” Tony said suspiciously, “A bit odd to be offering help when a moment ago you were about to chew us out over it.”

“What are you not telling us?” Steve said crossing his arms.

“Space,” Clint barked at them. “Just everyone give him space and no more fighting,” he added. “Everyone has to keep themselves calm. It feeds off negative energy.”

“How long has this been going on?” Thor asked Clint and moved a little away to give his brother room.

“Since I fell,” Loki managed tiredly and tensed as the darkness tried fighting back his words.

Natasha looked at Clint and then at Loki before pushing him a little toward the god.

“What are you doing?” the archer hissed at her.

She pointed and swirled her finger randomly up and down and between them. “Do it.”

“What?”

“Whatever you did the other night on the balcony. This is the same thing, yes?”

Clint could have punched himself in the face. He quickly sat down next to Loki and wrapped his arms around him. _Loki_. He felt the god reach for him through the connection. He kept his lips pressed to his temple and sent calming waves to him. Loki’s hand shot up and grabbed his arm, pulling him closer as the darkness dug it’s claws into him and resisted.

“Keep doing normal things,” Clint said to the others. “You’re making us anxious by staring.”

“Sorry,” Banner said and turned to the others. “So…um…”

“That fight earlier?” Tony offered.

“Food,” Steve said changing the subject. Stark made a face realising his mistake and nodded in agreement.

It took a few minutes, but with the others talking about how great lunch had been, Fury and Phil staying silent, and Clint’s physical and emotional support, he was able to help Loki overcome the darkness.

“There we go,” Barton smiled and kissed Loki again, feeling him finally relax in his arms. “We found it’s weakness.”

“Oh bother, now it will surely strike back with vengeance,” he sighed and then chuckled weakly, accepting the hand Thor offered to help him stand. Loki withheld the uneasy discomfort he found at his brother’s touch. It was mainly from the darkness and his constant fears he had fabricated during his time away. He could see a look in his brother’s eyes and knew he had unintentionally made a face.

Clint and Thor helped him sit on the couch to properly rest, the others countering their movement to continue to give them space.

“Okay so we’re not getting that answer right away,” Banner whispered to Tony. The billionaire nodded and watched the god, their morning conversation replaying within his mind.

“Can you at least tell us about anything else?” Steve asked.

“A little,” Loki confessed honestly. “I can speak of my mission; I can speak of my fall, but do not ask for more. I have tried and failed on many occasions.”

“The interrogations,” Tony spat out as he suddenly put two and two together. “You were so willing to talk and then suddenly you’d turn vicious. It wasn’t you, it was…the thing?” The god nodded.

“I guess…I owe you an apology, for what I put you through.” Fury admitted very maturely.

“You guess?” Clint snapped at him.

Loki held up his hand to stop him from saying anything further. “You were doing your job,” he said to Fury.

“My job is not to harm people; it is to protect this realm.”

“And I was a threat that falls into the category of safe to neutralise, yes?”

He shrugged a bit uncomfortable. “I wouldn’t put the meaning of your life in those terms…but yes, if you were to have done much more in your original attack or afterwards, I would have had to…neutralise you.”

Tony swallowed and stuffed the flash drive into his jacket pocket. “Great, everyone take a seat. We’re going to do story time. Our tale this evening is ‘Fallen Gods and How Drugs are Bad’.”

“Tony,” everyone, but the two gods and the archer, warned as they found a place to rest. Clint next to him, Thor on the archer’s side, Steve in one of the arm chairs, Natasha on the arm of his chair, Tony standing behind Pepper, and Banner standing behind the two agents.

The god laughed and shook his head. “Very well…where to start?” he mused and shifted to give Clint more room. “I fell from the Bifrost to the very edges of this galaxy. I became an unwilling host and wandered for…what seems like ages. I came across the most…low of creatures and struggled for a long time to survive. I was forcibly taken aboard a ship and…given offers. Follow their orders and do what,” Loki licked his lips slowly and swallowed, “ _he_ wanted or suffer unimaginable torture and watch the ones I love die. If I did as I was instructed and performed well, I was allowed to choose a handful of people I…cared for…to survive.

“My mission was to seize control of Midgard. It was a small starting point for what…he wanted, yet it is the most logical place to start if one desired to conquer the nine. It is in the very heart of Yggdrasil, above the darker worlds and below the lighter realms. It is between Niðavelliand Jötunheim, and anchors our area of space with the rest of the universe. A chair cannot remain stable if one of its legs is cut off. Same with the realms; if one falls, the rest will topple soon after. If his plans had worked, Jötunheim and Svartálfaheim would have been next.”

“The Jötunns and Dökkálfa would never surrender,” Thor protested and frowned confused. “They are far too proud and would rather die than bow to another being. It was hard enough to –”

“Enslave them to Odin’s will?” Loki looked at him with an odd smile. “Yes, it was and claimed many lives over many years of pointless fighting which led to a handful of years filled with unsettled resenting peace, and then sparked numerous more ridiculous wars.”

“The Jötunns shouldn’t have invaded Midgard,” he said weakly defiant.

“History is fabricated by the victors. There are no texts in the library that suggest the Jötunns invaded Midgard first…they are not even mentioned to have come here until much later, and only after Odin had taken the Ancient Winters.”

“Alright, humans here,” Pepper raised her hand and waved it a bit. “Who or what is a Jaten and Dokiealf and why would the Jothelm and Sevafahelm be the mysterious ‘he’s’ targets?”

“Yeah, and why did Santa take Ancient Winters?” Tony added. Pepper frowned and lifted her hand to reproachfully tap him with the back of it as she continued to give her attention to the god.

“Jötunns are the giants that live within Jötunheim,” Loki explained. “They are either of ice or rock origin. They all have magical powers of a sort.”

Thor smoothly took over; “Svartálfaheim is the realm the Dökkálfa were banished too. It used to be where the Dvergar once lived; however, a grand majority of them all relocated to Niðavelli.”

“Yet another great deed Odin’s legacy is burdened with,” the younger god muttered bitterly. Thor glanced at him, his expression torn between thoughtfulness and distress over the verbal mistreatment of their father.

“And they are?”

“Dökkálfa are…”

“Elves,” The archer said before he realised he was speaking aloud.

“Yes,” Loki looked down at his hand clasped within Clint’s. “They are dark elves. Dvergar are short…uh,”

“Dwarves,” Thor said.

“Yes,” he nodded. “The Casket of Ancient Winters is a sacred object that belongs to the Jötunns. Odin took it to punish them for…disobeying. It is like their collective heart.”

Thor looked down at his hands guiltily over his brother’s words. Oh did he hate himself for his youthful ignorance.

“Disobeying what?” Pepper asked confused.

Loki took a deep breath and ignored her question. “The mysterious ‘he’, that you have so dubbed him, would have negotiated with the Jötunns and Dökkálfa for their help. The Aesir and they have never been friends. He would have promised the Jötunns the return of their sacred casket; the return of Álfheim to the dark elves, with possible enslavement of the light elves for their…personal uses; and then ‘he’ would fuel their shared hatred for the Aesir to spur them on for his own interests.”

“But that’s not his main quest?” Fury interrupted.

“No, death is.”

Thor shivered. The others reactions varied from silent unmoving shock to defensive glaring and disproval at his answer.

Fury straightened a little. “Excuse me?”

“Death…that is his…mistress,” he shuttered when the darkness purred with delight. “Everything he does is to further impress her.”

“What for?”

“I…don’t know,” he shrugged honestly. “I never asked.”

“You didn’t think about –”

Loki shot up in a defensive manner, his patience for Fury’s accusing tone at a limit, and hissed, “A bit hard to do much when most of your organs are lying on a table next to you, and someone has their hand inside of your chest, squeezing your heart, promising that all will be well if you would just be a good little lickspittle and consent to _his_ wishes.” He paused, the sudden burst of anger gone as he sat back and turned his face away, bringing a hand up to cover his eyes as he sighed. “I couldn’t even manage a breath to scream,” he said, his voice lowering as he calmed. “Tell me, how do you suggest I go about asking such?” His said moving his hand down a bit as his eyes flicked to stare into Fury’s. “I’ll be certain that the next time I find myself in that state, I’ll know better and can focus on something more than searing pain and silently praying for death.”

“And you gave in?” Fury challenged not willing to step down.

He gave a snarky smile, “Apparently death would have been too great a reward, and he didn’t want to displease his mistress. She preferred if I was to remain a–” he stopped realising what he had almost let slip. He quickly glanced at Clint and then changed his tone to a coy, “…alive.”

“That didn’t really happen to you though?” Pepper asked, mildly nauseous. The hand she held to her throat rubbed soothing on her skin it to try and keep down her stomach. “The…guts and…” she swallowed uncomfortable with the look Loki gave her. His face remained impossibly smooth yet his eyes…they were almost screaming with his sadness and pain. It was what Tony’s had been after his kidnapping. It was what his had been after falling from the sky. “I need air,” she whispered standing and headed for the balcony quickly.

“Excuse us,” Tony said following her out.

_Why didn’t you tell me?_ Clint asked looking down at their hands, his thumb rubbing nervously across the god’s skin.

_Would it have made a difference?_

_Yes…I could have –_

_What? Gone after him to avenge his mistreatment of me?_

_I guess…_ he shrugged. _I am an Avenger after all._ He gave a smile that had meant to be more sassy than sad.

The god shook his head. _No…I wouldn’t be who I am…I wouldn’t have found you._

Clint rolled his eyes. _Yeah, because I did so much._

Loki looked him over, his heart aching as the phantom image of a love lost long ago imprinted over Clint for a second. _Seeing you when I came through the portal…it did enough._

The archer frowned at him, trying to figure out what the strange empty sorrow radiating from Loki’s heart meant.

The door opened and Tony stepped back into the room. “Sorry about that.”

“I spoke without thinking and with ill intentions. The fault is all mine,” Loki apologised quickly and quietly.

“Pepper’s very strong, it’s just…sometimes things like that bring up this,” he tapped his chest; the noise of his fingers pecking upon the metal of the arc reactor was a grim reminder to all who knew about his personal sacrifice and suffering.

“Enemies?” Loki asked thoughtfully and stared at the light faintly coming from underneath the billionaire’s shirt.

“Yes,”

“They wanted something only you could give…some…knowledge…” it wasn’t a question; it was a statement of understanding and sympathy from one suffering prisoner of war to another. Tony nodded his head grateful that there was someone who finally…got it.

The door opened and Pepper stepped in dabbing her eyes. “Sorry, today has been…a lot,” she sniffed. Natasha stood and went to her, giving her a big hug. Pepper returned the gesture and squeezed her eyes shut as she took a deep breath to compose herself.

“Dinner,” Banner stood rubbing his hands. “Should we start on that? Is anyone hungry?”

“Maybe we could order in?” Steve offered rising, “Less worrying about what to make or who is doing what?”

“Good idea,” Tony chipped in. “Pizza? Chinese? Thai?”

“Something simple for me, whatever you all choose,” Pepper begged as Natasha helped her sit down.

Tony motioned for the other two men to follow him and they went into the next room. The rest of them sat in silence for a while until Steve came in with a pad of paper and a pen. “Write down what you want. We’re doing Chinese, it’s closest and they do specials for large orders.”

_What is their food like?_ Loki asked.

_Some of its spicy, some sweet, it’s all good no matter what._

_Show me?_

Clint closed his eyes and thought hard, trying to recall all of the Americanised dishes he’d sampled over the years. His favourites were the orange and honey chickens with chicken and broccoli coming in second. He thought about the teriyaki beef and pork skewers; the spicy shrimp and lo mein noodles; fried rice and dumplings; the flavourful soups.

He felt Loki shake and he opened his eyes to look at the god. He was laughing softly, his eyes closed as he savoured the faint yet well developed and detailed images. Loki looked at him and then nodded, “Very well…I shall try anything you choose.”

Thor handed Clint the paper and he scribbled down two chicken dishes, a soup, fried rice, and lo mein noodles. He squared off the order and wrote their names off to the side, much in the same way everyone else had. He handed it over to Steve, and the soldier went to stand before Phil.

“What would you like?” he asked holding his pen ready to write it down.

“I’m fine,” Coulson said shaking his head. “We won’t be here long anyways.”

“Actually Tony just sent word for someone to come up and release you both,” Steve said using the flat end of the pen to itch at his head. “You both are no longer part of S.H.I.E.L.D.”

“He’s not mad?” Coulson asked confused.

“Oh no he’s mad,” Pepper said and checked to make sure her nose wasn’t running. “He’ll stay mad for a while, but you both aren’t a threat, the other two are.”

“What other two?” Fury asked. Pepper didn’t answer, she turned her head away and Steve decided to steer the conversation back to a safe place.

He cleared his throat. “What would you like?”

“Really, I’m fi–”

“Tony insists. We all insist,” he said putting a hand to his chest and then gestured to the rest in the room. “Same with Direc–”

“Just Nick or Fury will do,” the man cut in politely.

“Same with Fury,” Rogers corrected.

Phil nodded. “Very well.”

It took a bit, because half of the order was three times as large to accommodate the two gods, the other guy, Steve and Phil’s massive appetites, yet once it had been delivered they all settled in the living room: Clint on the floor in between Loki’s legs; Thor moved closer to his brother to make room for Banner; Natasha turned sideways on Steve’s lap with her legs draped over the arm of the chair; Pepper in a chair with Tony seated at the coffee table near her; and Phil and Nick still in their same seats, now freed and cleared of all charges.

“Alright,” Tony said breaking apart his chopsticks. “Dig in!”

“Itadakimasu!” Natasha called holding up her beer; it had been universally decided that the alcohol ban was to be ignored for the evening.

“That’s Japanese,” Tony pointed out.

“Yeah so?” she said raising an eyebrow at him.

“We’re eating Chinese,”

“Fake Chinese. Since it is Americanised it doesn’t count so I can say what I want,” she shrugged and raised her beer again. “Someone toast with me!”

Thor held out his and she leaned forward to tap their cans together. “Borða góðar!” he smiled.

“Yeah,” Tony held his up with a shrug and drank deeply from his glass of fine scotch.

_This?_ Loki pointed to his box as Clint shifted to kneel between his legs and help him.

_Orange chicken,_ he took his box and tipped it, pouring some of his chicken with broccoli and picked half of the citrus glazed pieces out of the god’s.

Loki squinted his eyes at the archer suspiciously, _You ordered these so that you didn’t have to choose, didn’t you?_

Clint grinned deviously. _Guilty._

He rolled his eyes, “Honestly…”

“And variety,” he pointed out to defend himself. “If you don’t like one, I’ll eat it and give you the rest of the other. We have a lot of both.”

“I suppose you are pleased with yourself,”

“Very,” he laughed and turned around, nestling down against Loki’s warm legs as he began eating.

“And the roasted worms and maggots?” Loki glanced at the other boxes on the side table.

“Noodles and rice,”

“Strangest looking noodles I’ve ever laid eyes upon,” he mused and inspected his chopsticks curiously.

Thor stabbed several bits of beefy dish and stuffed them into his mouth, not bothering to properly break apart or use the wooden sticks correctly. Munching loudly he declared, “delicious regardless.”

“Everything is delicious to you,” Loki sighed rolling his eyes, his tone light, as though this conversation between them happened often enough that their responses were more of joking habit than anything else.

“This is weird,” Fury whispered to Phil.

“Seeing them act like actual siblings?”

“That and the fact I’m eating in the same room with him.”

“It’s not the first time we’ve made peace with enemies,”

“Who said anything about peace?” he frowned at his friend and then looked at the rest of the people in the room who were carrying on conversations, goofing off, and laughing. He couldn’t believe his eye: Loki was laughing, and not in a vicious or crazed way, but a silent almost shyish joy over whatever Natasha and Tony where fighting about.

“Tolerance then?” Phil offered stuffing the shrimp chow mein noodles into his mouth.

“Sure…we can try that…” he shook his head and went back to eating his beef veggie medley.

“Oh _yeah_ Romanoff?”

“Yeah Stark,” she sassed back and laughed curling toward Steve who held up his hand to deflect a chuck of sticky rice the billionaire threw at them.

“Hey! Eat! Don’t waste it!” Banner leaned forward and wacked Tony on the head with the handle part of his chopsticks.

“Ow! Pepper!” he whined turning to her and rubbed the stop.

She shrugged and drank deeply from her glass of wine. “Fight the battles you start. I’m a neutral party.”

Thor crushed his beer can against his head. “I AM SATISFIED WITH THIS!” he shouted and rose setting his food down. “Who wants another?” Steve and Natasha raised their hands. He turned to Loki and Clint. “And you brothers?”

“I’ll take one,” Barton nodded.

“I am fine with my water,” Loki said dryly.

“I bet you’re a wine drinker,” Tony puzzled as he looked the younger god over. “Reds. Rich and bold, but sweet.” He stood and clapped the thunder god on the arm. “Come on, I’ll help you. Phil? Nick? Beer?” The two nodded.

Loki shifted and pushed his food around with the sticks still fused together. Clint twisted to look at him and then got up on his knees again. “Here,” he said taking them to split before rubbing the ends to flick off the loose bits. He then took up the god’s right hand and put the sticks in it. “Hold them like this,” he held up his and waited until Loki had adjusted his to mimic the archer’s. “Now you eat like this,” he demonstrated grabbing and picking up a piece of chicken a few times before eating it. The god bent forward, bringing his box up and made a decent first attempt. “There you go,” Clint smiled and leaned toward him, pushing out his lips invitingly as a reward.

Loki moved and kissed him without hesitation or thought, just purely driven instinct. The need for comfort, for reassurance that his presence was desired, and the want of him… he tasted of spice and a hint of sweetness.

“Alright break it up,” Tony said pushing a glass at their faces.

“We didn’t even use tongue, calm down,” Clint glared taking the glass as Loki recovered from their overwhelming yet simple and chaste sampler.

_Tonight?_ the archer further tempted.

_Oh Norns yes…_ he breathed and accepted the wine, drinking deeply from it before setting it on the side table and began eating.

“I say, that tomorrow, we see a movie. We haven’t seen a movie in a while.” Tony suggested with his mouth full. “Agent? Nickie?” he asked gesturing to the two.

“S.H.I.E.L.D. is still looking for us.”

Coulson nodded, “We should probably leave tomorrow morning, in case they come here and look for us.”

“Nonsense, they can’t break in here or they face a very public court lawsuit. I’ve taken great care to keep this place safe from them and I won’t stop just because it’s under new management.” Pepper waved a hand dismissively. “If anything, now that you are not in charge I trust them even less.”

“I’m going to sleep and never waking up,” Bruce sighed exhausted and began on his fourth box of super spicy chicken.

“Steve and I have made plans,” Natasha said.

Tony frowned, “What plans?”

“Our plans, you’re not invited.”

“I should probably seek out Jane,” Thor confessed sadly down at his beef.

The billionaire looked at Clint and Loki hopefully. “They’re coming with us,” Natasha said quickly.

“What?” the billionaire frowned and looked between them in disbelief.

“They still need to go out and buy some things, I’m taking them. Clint and I decided it earlier.”

“You did?” Tony pouted at the archer.

“Yeah,” he nodded slowly, his eyes wide, obviously not willing to hide that they had just made up those plans on the spot.

Pepper tapped the genius on the shoulder with her nylon covered foot. “You don’t enjoy my company?”

“No baby,” he turned and knelt before her, taking her other shoe off and rubbed her feet. “I do. Do you want to see a movie?”

“Do I get to choose?”

“Yes,” he said with some difficulty.

“Take me to a musical?” she asked sweetly.

He made a face. “Aren’t those live and happy and dancy?”

“Mama Mia will do. I’ve always wanted to see that.” Her smile widened when his head fell onto her thigh in defeat.

“Fine.”

“Thank you,” she played with his hair a bit and drank from her glass and crossed her legs. Loki was impressed by the raw and stunningly regal power she emitted, sitting there in her blue suit, glass of wine in one hand, and the other petting the genius like a loyal pet.

He had a flashback to a moment where he was almost in the same setting; only the building was dank and dark, and he held a sceptre in his hand, his legs were splayed wide and his head was rolling to the side in ecstasy. The firelight played off of Clint’s naked glistening body deliciously as he licked and sucked obediently at his member, his brilliant blue eyes burning him alive.

Clint’s hand slapped his thigh, causing him to jump slightly. He looked down at him curiously.

_Seriously? Room full of people and we’re eating._

_I am allowed to think of whatever I want. It is my mind,_ he shrugged indignant and took a drink from his wine.

“Everything alright?” Steve asked suspiciously.

“Yes, Clint was just telling me how much he enjoys the meal and I was wondering where the rest of our acquired goods from today were placed?”

_Damn how do you do that so smoothly?_

_God of lies,_

_Allow me to worship your body later?_ He asked with reverence.

He smirked at him, _I shall consider it._

“I had the staff send the books up to the library along with two bags because it was harder to figure out what belonged to whom,” Tony explained.

“We’ll stop off and give them a look before bed,” Steve suggested playing with Natasha’s hair.

“But we should find beds for Phil and Fury,” Pepper reasoned.

“We have our packs and sleeping bags,” Coulson assured.

“Don’t be silly, this is a building equipped for housing. You both can pick a floor even. I suspect you’ll be here for a while.”

“We are very grateful,” Nick nodded his head.

“For a god you don’t eat a whole lot,” Tony commented when he noticed that Thor had already finished his half a dozen boxes and Loki had barely finished his one.

“My appetite shifts with the changing of the seasons and the moon. It’ll be terrifying in a month or two. Give it time,” he smirked.

“Loki can out eat myself; his hunger is a force I’ll never challenge again,” Thor verified and finished is beer, leaning back with a satisfied sigh.

“I can’t wait,” the billionaire laughed and rubbed his hands together.

“Well, you’re not alone,” Banner nodded to Loki in support and then gestured to Tony, “Don’t let him bully you.”

“I’m not a bully!” he protested. Everyone just chuckled.

“More wine, Loki?” Pepper asked when she noticed they were both low.

“I would not refuse,”

“Great, Tony honey?” She held out her glass out and carefully swung it from side to side slowly. He sighed heavily and got up, muttering under his breath. “I’m sorry, what was that? We’re going to see Wicked afterward too? Maybe even Cats?” Tony made a protesting noise and Pepper laughed triumphantly.

Yes, Pepper was one that Loki very much looked forward to getting to know better.


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good news: I'm no longer deathly sick from sinus and chest congestion stuff.  
> Bad news: this chapter is late. 
> 
> And I'm so sorry for that.
> 
> All mistakes are my fault. I hope you enjoy the chapter. The next one will be posted soon, I honestly don't know when though. Just not a month from now, I know that. But soon.

\----------------------31----------------------

Loki and Clint stepped off the elevator. The moment the doors closed they dropped their bags and pulled the other close. Locking their mouths together with a small groan, they fell against the wall, the spicy grease of the food, the rich hoppy beer and sweet tang of the wine danced across their tongues, mixing with their usual flavours.

“Have me,” Loki gasped as Clint’s lips moved down his throat.

“That’s my plan,” he groaned and ran his hands down his body to grip his firm backside.

The elevator dinged to some part of a joke: “And then she cried ‘Motherfucking technology’!” Fury’s voice shouted as the doors opened. There was some laughing and then quiet debate. Loki and Clint froze and waited.

“No, no, Steve said his old one was two floors down,” Phil said.

“Are you sure?” Banner asked.

“Don’t you know?” said Fury.

“I never visited him in his old room,” he admitted and then poked his head out. “Oh gosh!” he turned his face away. “I didn’t –”

Loki pushed Clint to arm’s length and smoothed out his top. “No, you are fine, Lord Banner. How may we help?”

“I’m helping them look for spare rooms and I,” he held out his hand. “Just, don’t worry about it. Sorry to bother you.”

“You are fine,” he reassured as Bruce disappeared back and the doors closed. They both let out a breath. “I suppose we should attempt to put these away?” he gestured to their abandoned goods.

Clint let out a disappointed groan and bent to pick up their bags.

“What?” Loki asked folding his arms across his chest and leaned all of his weight to one side, cocking his hip slightly.

“Nothing,”

“No, what is it?” he pressed with a hint of hotness and impatience.

“I know this song and dance,” he sighed and headed for the kitchen to start putting their extra Chinese food away. “Your desire is like a soap bubble; once it’s been popped, it’s impossible to get back.”

“It is no such thing!” he protested following him.

“It is,” he insisted.

“I am still in a desiring mood,” he said. Clint made an amused disbelieving noise and opened the fridge. Loki glared at him a little annoyed and decided to show him wrong. He pressed his body against Clint’s, his hands slipping around his waist with slow teasing fingers. He moved his face in to inhale deeply near the crook of the archer’s neck and shoulder and then dragged his tongue up the side of Clint’s throat and gave a small sigh before kissing just behind his ear to prove him wrong.

Barton shivered violently, his mouth hanging opened in surprised shock for a moment before he came back to his senses. “Well…” he swallowed and licked his lips as he leaned back into him.

“Please try not to drop the bag in your hands,” Loki whispered and gently kissed the shell of his ear.

“Oh why?” he moaned tilting his face to the side to give him more access.

“I pilfered a bottle of wine and a clean glass,”

Clint chuckled, very impressed and arched a bit as the god’s tongue flicked out to tease his earlobe. “Sounds like you had a plan?” he sighed.

The god hummed and kissed down and along Barton’s shoulder slowly, “Perhaps.”

“Does it involve a bath? I’m kind of gross from the fight still.”

Loki nodded and kissed his temple, taking his time before pulling back to offer, “I’ll start the water?”

“I’ll start stripping,” he laughed and handed the bag over. Loki took it with a soft chuckle, pulling out the bottle and glass before setting it down on the counter on his way to the bedroom and bath.

Several minutes later Clint ambled in after him with only his underwear on. Loki was already relaxing in the water, a full glass set off to the side, and the lights dimmed slightly. The bathtub was huge and oval, with a large surface space to set objects or oneself on before the wall of mirror panels in the corner it was set against. It had a few steps leading in and then down, large golden knobs, and a curved faucet with a hand-held showerhead resting in a wire rack.

“Sexy,” he laughed and stepped out of his boxer briefs before slipping into the tub. The water was warm and felt amazing against his slightly sore muscles.

The god smirked wickedly and held out his arms invitingly. He was seated at the shallow end, the water just coming past his belly button. “Hardly…however, Sir Jarvis suggested a light setting.”

“Oh?”

“Yes. Sir Jarvis?”       

“Yes milord?”

“Would you mind changing the lights to the setting you suggested earlier?”

“Yes milord.” The lights altered, the ceiling ones becoming darker as blue thin beams of light dashed across the room and settled over certain areas. Holographic candles emerged from the surface space around the tub and the sink counter. It bathed the room in a warm glow and made Loki look all the more tempting.

“Oh…” he laughed and turned around to lean back into the god’s body. “Nice…very romantic,”

Loki made an affirming noise as he took a sip of the wine and passed the glass to Clint. “Are you one for romance, little Hawk?”

“When I find the time,” he laughed and set the glass aside after taking a sip and savouring the rich bittersweet liquid in his mouth for a moment.

The god smoothed his hands over the archer’s chest sensually and whispered in his ear, “Do you feel you may find time this evening?”

“Honestly?  This is the closest to true romance I’ve ever gotten…” he contently sighed massaging Loki’s thigh and knee with one hand, the other coming up to clasp one of the god’s wandering hands and kept it still over his heart. He leaned to the side and looked up at him with an easy smile. “I like this.”

“Honestly?” Loki grinned down at him, trying to hide his nervous doubts.

“Yes,” he leaned up and kissed him briefly. “I do…I have to admit, I didn’t know what to expect.”

“Announcing I’d start a bath wasn’t obvious enough?” he frowned at him confused.

“No,” he chuckled. “I meant with us…after you woke up. I used to think about it, when I wasn’t trying to figure out what the hell happened between Natasha and I, and freaking out about how they would react to the news…I thought about…us,” he shrugged. “I thought about what would happen when you woke, I thought about how we’d fight side-by-side, about the sex,” he smiled up at him.

“Anything new we could try?” he laughed.

“One involves a corset and another has a lot of different positions and handcuffs.”

“Oh my,” he smirked and cupped the side of his face, making Clint’s skin break into goose bumps. “What _wicked_ fun?” he whispered.

“I never thought about us going out and shopping, eating with the others out of take-out boxes, or this though,” he slipped in right before they kissed again. “I never thought about…a lot of important mundane things,” he finished softly against the god’s lips, feeling somewhat foolish for speaking those things aloud.

Loki hummed and kissed him once more, before taking a drink and passing the glass to Clint. “To be honest, I really do not believe many people do.”

“No?”

“No. My mother has stated such. She said living with Odin and being married to him were two completely different things. She used to worry about producing heirs for succession and how others would treat her, but she never thought about much else until after their wedding.”

“Like what else?”

“Things that involved getting to know each other better: eating almost every meal together, sharing a bed, telling jokes, going out riding, playing cards, sitting in silence…little things.” He shrugged, “I suppose such thoughts never occur to many.”

“Huh…so that doesn’t make me selfish or narrow-minded only thinking about the sex?”

“Not at all,” he took the glass and a quick sip before setting it aside in favour of a bar of soap. “Sex is nothing to feel ashamed over.”

Clint sighed as Loki smoothed the bar and his hands along his body gently. “Are you going to be alright with Fury and Phil here?” he asked stretching out a bit and set both of his hands on the god’s bent knees.

He paused and then slid his other hand down Barton’s front, rubbing the suds around and then moved to wash one of his arms. “Why would I not?” he replied carefully.

“Phil told me, when we were putting leftovers away, what you did,” he said softly. “On the day that…how the wound looked fatal yet wasn’t…how it was the darkness controlling you.”

“It was the last time I had perfect control over my actions,” he confessed and began working on Clint’s other arm. “Are you going to be alright with them here?”

“I’ll…manage,” he said with an unhappy glare off as he thought about how satisfying it would be just to punch Fury in the face. A question popped into his head and he took a few seconds running his fingers around Loki’s knees before he turned to face him, “Were you afraid no one would believe you?”

“Pardon?” he said as he paused in washing him.

“Why you never told us about your plans here and the darkness?”

Loki swallowed and looked down at Clint’s side before he quietly answered, “Yes…”

“I would have,” he assured.

“Only out of hope…” he replied still carefully soft and then gestured for him to turn back around. Clint did and leaned forward as Loki washed his back.

“Hope for what?”

He shrugged. “That I could still change…I can feel it…sometimes at night. When you think I’m asleep…”

“That’s not very fair,”

“Well…you know my feelings about that word,” he sighed trying to hold back his guilt and leaned into his soapy back, moving his hands up along Clint’s inner thighs, pulling them opened more. Barton let out a breath and pressed against him to bring them both back against the tub as he reached a hand up to tangle into Loki’s hair. The god pressed his lips down his wet neck as he rubbed and smoothed the soap and his hands on the archer’s soft skin, very careful not to touch the one place both of them still could not speak of together. The black ink a permanent reminder of a past one wished to forget, and a mystery the other tiptoed gently around.

“I don’t hope that you can still change,” Clint said quietly and bit back a sigh as teasing fingers came to brush along his length. “I _know_ you are a good person. I _hope_ that you can see that you are. That you can accept you aren’t evil and love yourself again. That’s what I’m thinking about at night…”

Loki stopped for a second, his heart fluttering in a painful way, before he pushed the archer’s legs together and pulled one of his legs up to get at his calves and feet.

“Loki?”

“I heard you,” he said and moved to get the other. When he was finished with it, Clint took a hold of his hands and shifted, pulling Loki to the side, silently indicating for them to change places. They did and Loki sat in between Barton’s legs, hugging his knees, and exposed his smooth milky back as he pulled his hair over one shoulder. The archer leaned forward and pressed his lips to the centre of his back, following the spots he’d kissed with the soap.

“Earlier…” Loki said and swallowed with some difficulty. “I was never able to thank you or ask about…the name.”

“Name?”  Clint asked clueless.

“Frigguson,”

“Oh,” he said and kept kissing his back. “I…I had originally told the computer to address you as Odinson…but after hearing you talking with Thor –”

“You heard me speak with Thor?” he cut over him a bit anxiously.

“Yeah, Tasha was with me. It was when you were still in the hospital wing.”

“Oh,” he sighed unable to cover his relief.

Clint frowned yet didn’t pry into why that could have provoked such a reaction. Instead he continued, “So, I got with Thor and we tried to find a compromise. It was Banner. He suggested using your mother’s name. Thor agreed and explained how it’s not that common but it is a thing.”

“Yes,” he nodded. “It does happen…very rarely.”

“I figured you’d appreciate that better than the other or the –”

“Truth?”

Clint sighed. “The truth sometimes isn’t the right course.”

“Would you still marry me if I kept my sire’s name?”

“Yes,” he said without hesitation.

Loki was silent for a moment and he felt Clint’s mouth find his shoulders. He pulled his hair to the other side and closed his eyes as he sadly whispered, “You only say such because of the bond.”

Clint paused his actions for a moment. “No, I say that because it’s true.” He leaned in and kissed the back of Loki’s neck.

The god’s skin broke out into goose pimples and he shivered. “What are you afraid of?” he asked quietly.

Barton thought about that for a second. He didn’t honestly think he was afraid of anything, until he took some time to mull it all over. No one had ever asked him before. Assassins and spies couldn’t afford to be afraid of anything…not even torture or their own deaths. “I’m afraid of spiders and hamsters, maybe even small dogs. I don’t like them very much; it’s unnatural for an animal to look like a rat but bark.”

“I mean deep down…what scares you the most?”

“Of being alone,” he pulled Loki back toward him so that he could wash his chest. “Of losing all of the ones that I love. I’m afraid of…the man that hurt me the most… I’m scared he isn’t really dead and that he’ll come back…”

“If he does I’ll make sure he never has another chance,” Loki countered darkly and took a large swig of wine to keep himself form saying anything more.

Clint smiled and kissed his temple. “Thank you for that.”

“I mean it,”

“I know,” he moved his hands lower and washed the god’s legs. “You?”

“The same…and…living with the darkness forever.”

“I won’t let that happen,”

“I know,” he bent his leg up and inhaled trying to hold back a moan when Clint dragged his fingers up his calves. He swallowed and licked is lips slowly, biting his bottom one a bit before continuing on. “I’m scared of Odin. I’m scared of the people at court…I’m scared for my…children.” He swallowed half hoping he’d said that last part low enough to escape detection.

“You have kids?”

Loki turned his face away, not willing to look at Clint’s and the disappointment he knew that would be there. “Yes.”

Barton laughed. “How many?”

The god blinked confused and looked at him, searching his features for any drop of negative emotion. He found none. “You’re not –”

“Why would I be? I love kids.”

“Oh…” he gave a small breathy laugh to help ease the change he felt from rising dread to relief. “I-I have eight.”

Clint let out a long whistle. “Damn. What a house full.”

“None of them…live with me personally,” he looked away sadly.

He let go of Loki’s leg confused. “What do you mean?”

He shrugged. “It is just as I said.”

“Any more or ever?”

“It is all…a rather complicated story for each.”

“Ah,” he said and rubbed the god’s sides slowly in comfort. “I’m sorry.”

“It is my own fault. I was going through…a very difficult time and I made some incredibly…” he gave a heavy sigh, “I handled the situation wrong for many years.”

“But you love them.” It wasn’t a question; Clint could feel how deeply Loki cared for all of them.

“Yes,” he nodded.

“You weren’t ever going to tell me where you?” he asked knowingly and took a drink of the wine, handing it down to Loki.

“Not ‘never’,” he admitted in a small voice. “I just did not imagine we’d…reach this point so soon,” he confessed taking his time to savour the liquid. He stared into the glass and swirled it around a bit before putting it off to the side. “I believe talking with Stark this morning, as well as the rest of today’s events, have…helped put a few things into perspective.”

“Does Thor have any?”

“Perspective? I doubt it.”

“No,” he laughed and splashed the god playfully. It helped draw a smile across Loki’s thinned and hesitant lips. “I meant kids.”

“No,” he chuckled. “None which we know of.”

“Oh…well lucky us, huh?”

Loki frowned at him from over his shoulder, not understanding his meaning.

“I mean we don’t have to worry about buying them presents or their birthdays…we just have our own.”

“Our own…” he repeated thoughtfully soft.

“I know you don’t want to talk about them now, but can you promise to tell me all about them later?” The god nodded as Clint kissed his temple and then set the soap to the side. “Do you still –”

“Yes!” Loki turned quickly and settled himself in Clint’s lap, claiming his lips and held onto the sides of his face.

“Your – ribs?” he tried staying around kisses. Loki moaned and made no indication of stopping, so he figured all things were a good to go.

The archer moved them to the deeper end of the tub and pressed Loki against the sides of it, wrapping the god’s long pale legs around his waist. He began kissing down his neck and chest slowly and brought some water up to wash the area before giving one of his nipples a long lick, mouthing it until he finally closed his lips around it and sucked on the soft dark skin with a hard force. Loki moaned and arched, the water splashing around them as their gentle ease roughed a tad. He pulled Clint’s hand up and kissed along his three fingers, imprinting the lubrication spell upon them before sealing it with long strokes from his tongue.

The archer hummed and moved his mouth to work at bringing the other sensitive bud to tighten as Loki helped guide his fingers to his hole. Barton teased his entrance, stroking and gently circling it until the muscles relaxed enough for him to slip the tip of his finger in. The god let out a low noise of delight as Clint’s digit slid further in. He twisted and pulled it out, repeating the action several times before working in a second. Loki’s mouth fell opened into a soft gasp, his hands finding their way up to grip at the edge of the tub on either side of his head. Clint moved up and kissed along his jaw, sucking a little until he found a spot he desired to mark, as he worked his fingers in and out, going a little deeper with each few strokes.

“Yes…” Loki encouraged and tilted his body up, drawing his legs in to bring Barton closer. He felt teeth on his skin and inhaled, squeezing his eyes shut. The pain morphed into kindling for their desires; the noises Loki made as Clint continued to stretch and tease his entrance became the fuel; and the spark happened when his two fingers slammed into the centre of Loki’s lust. He clamped his muscles down on Clint and gave a loud cry of surprise.

Barton chuckled and pulled back, licking his lips and withdrew his fingers. He leaned back to pull the plug on the tub. Fiddling with the knobs, he lifted the tab to switch on the showerhead and turned, grabbing Loki toward him. He kissed him as he began guiding the nozzle to run warm water over them to fully rinse off.

Loki helped by smoothing his hands all around their bodies, taking time to stroke Clint’s member as he kissed just behind his ear. Barton groaned and held the mage closer to his body, squeezing his backside with his free hand and aimed the water at their legs. Loki’s hand moved flawlessly, shifting with fluid ease from his length to run down his toned thighs: his fingertips drawing up in straight firm lines along the fronts, across his hips, and weaved down in gentle swirls along the backs. Tilting his head, he found Clint’s mouth waiting for him: hungry yet gentle. He shivered as he felt the mortal’s tongue drag along the side of his.

 “Turn,” Barton commanded and pushed him gently toward the stairs. Loki did, holding onto the rim as he knelt, arching a little as Clint ran the water and his free hand down his back. Clint rubbed his thumb over his fingers to reactivate the spell and then slipped them between the cleft of his ass and gently wiggled them back in. Loki gasped and bent forward, moving back trying to press them deeper with his need. Clint chuckled and leaned into him.

“You tease cruelly,” Loki whined tilting his face to the side in hopes that Barton would kiss him. He pressed his lips against the god’s cheek instead, yet instead of disappointment Loki still found it a rewarding gesture.

“You think this is teasing now?”

“Whatever it is you shall pay for it later,”

“We’ll see about that,” he promised and thrust his fingers into the god. Loki sighed and straightened as he rolled his body up and then down on Clint’s digits several times. Barton could have watched him do that all day, and he promised himself he would soon enough for he knew they both wanted a little something more. Satisfied with the ease of their movements, the archer pulled his fingers out and patted Loki’s rear to indicate they were done there. He shut the water off, following the god out of the tub and to the bedroom, careful not to slip on the floor.

Loki let the archer throw him to the mattress, wrapping himself tightly around him once he’d climbed on top. They touched and kissed one another; the water on their skin helping them slip easily against each other. The contrast from the warm comforting water to the cool night air of the room only added to their arousal. Clint mouthed down Loki’s body, so eager for what he had been denied last time, and kissed just above his thickening manhood.

He inhaled at the base and then dragged his tongue up the side, savouring his musky cool taste. Loki tensed and moaned softly. Barton grinned before pressing kisses all over his length, taking time to pull back the extra skin and kiss the head. He teased the slit with his tongue and let the skin go, sucking on the tip. He looked up at Loki as he took his whole head into his mouth and manoeuvred his tongue to dance around between his head and his extra skin. The god hissed and leaned on his elbows to stare directly at him, his body tingling in painful delight alone from the look in the archer’s eyes.

Clint grabbed the base and began slowly working his mouth up and down along the length until he was deep throating him. The god shifted his hips a little as Clint swallowed him down; his nose pressed into the god’s pelvic bone as his throat muscles tried to reflexively work him further in. Loki fell back and pulled at his own hair with a low whine as he slowly rolled his upper body in an arch against the bed. Barton let up and pulled back to swirl his tongue along the tip and then swallowed him down again. He did this twice more before Loki let out a loud huffing noise and gently tugged on his hair, a bit urgently, to indicate he couldn’t handle such an act anymore.

Clint came up gasping, his eyes slightly watery, and spit dripping from his chin and lips. He looked up at Loki, his tongue moving out to lick at his wet mischievous grin. Loki swallowed as he lost the ability to speak. Norns was he beautiful…

Clint snickered knowingly and returned to kissing his length as he stroked it leisurely; his three fingers moving to the god’s entrance. Loki arched again, bending his legs up to grab at his thighs and hold them open with a gasp deep in the back of his throat. The archer flicked his tongue down to the mage’s scrotum and rolled his lips around his sac, taking one of his balls into his mouth to gently suck on for a short time before doing the same to the other. His fingers pushed deeper as he felt Loki’s muscles gave away and relax further.  He began spreading them to work him wider. It took about five minutes for Loki to form a single word.

“Clint,” Loki moaned tugging at the sheets. That was his cue that the god was ready. The way the rest of his body tensed, yet his hole remained relaxed, his ragged breathing, the small hitch to the middle of his speech and whimpered moans he tried holding back with each slide of Clint’s fingers in to him.

The archer moved back, allowing the god space to shift into the position he wanted. Loki had always preferred to be taken from behind, Clint wasn’t too sure why, and at the time of their previous encounters he’d never been able to ask. Now he did, with his thoughts, since he couldn’t get his mouth to do more than pant and drool. Loki didn’t answer; instead, he canted his hips at the archer with a sigh, looking at him invitingly over his shoulder as his hair fell around his face in a sexy chaotic way.

Clint swallowed and quickly got behind him, running his non-spelled hand along the god’s body and stroked himself to fullness with the other, letting the lubricant coat his length. He positioned and gently nudged himself into the god. Loki groaned and slowly pushed back against him, bit by bit until Clint was almost halfway in. Barton held out his lubricated hand for the god, who quickly blew the spell away, and sucked on the clean non-enchanted fingers. He groaned and gripped Loki’s hip with his other hand firmly.

“Clint…” Loki let the slick digits slide out of his mouth as he shifted to try and get him further in.

He grabbed Loki and pushed him forward as he moved his hips back. He groaned pulling the mage’s body back toward him firmly, their thighs coming together in a sharp snapping sound. Loki’s whine faded into a deep breathy groan in his chest and he rolled his hips. Clint pulled away and moved forward again in the same way. Loki relaxed his muscles as he took Barton in and squeezed them tightly as he pulled away. They both groaned. Loki moved to rest on his elbows, his fingers tangling into his damp messy hair, and Clint pressed his forehead against the god’s back.

_Move._ Loki begged, pushing his rear flush against Clint’s front. _Fuck me little Hawk._ His thoughts breathed. _Breed me_.

Barton had taught him that expression, and hearing it used in such a way made him groan low and lustfully. He began thrusting into him; the sound of Loki’s needy excited cries spurred his hips to move faster. He buried his face into the god’s shoulder and felt Loki’s long pale fingers weave into his short hair in welcome. He kissed Loki’s slick skin and pulled his long legs opened; shifting and angling himself to thrust almost directly downward in the way that he knew drove the god crazy.

Loki gave a shout of delight and laughed breathlessly; his free hand flying back to grip at Clint’s waist for several seconds as his member brushed and bashed into his sweet spot. “Yes!” he encouraged and let his mind lace with Clint’s.

Their hands smoothed along their chest to grip their shoulder; one hand moved to fist the sheets, the other still holding their sucking mouth against their neck; the friction of their erection moving in and out of their gloriously deliciously tight heat; their muscles relaxing and clenching at the perfect moments; their fingers digging into their hip and thigh; the feel of their member leaking pre-cum onto the sheets; their cries growing louder; their toes curling; the rising heat dragging itself sluggishly along their spine; arching back and forth, pounding down, thrusting up; a plea, relaxing, a curse, tightening; the fire gripping their throats, the hitch of breath, and then they were coming.

Clint felt like he was being thrown from a window. The sudden burst of his orgasm ripped along his body as he fell, thrusting down and down, driving Loki’s body into the mattress. The god gave a loud cry, every part of him burning as it swept through him and out through his member in thick ropes of white seed onto the sheets. He keened and pushed himself against Clint, as the archer gave one final thrust down; exhaling in shutters as he came, his arms giving out, forcing him to rest completely flush against the god’s back. His face was still buried in his throat. He could feel Loki’s hot breath panting against his forehead, his fingers and body going lax as it all faded away. He started shaking.

Clint wrapped his arms around him and kissed his shoulder comfortingly. “Are…you alright?”

Loki nodded and licked is lips trying to control the tremors. “Oh…” he exhaled and drew a deep breath in after several moments. “I believe…I could get used to this.”

“What, regular sex?” he swallowed and gasped in air to chuckle.

“Yes…that too. Although I was referring…to a shared mind during intercourse,” he moved his fingers to play with Barton’s hair.

“Cuts the time of sex down in half,”

“Intensifies it though…”

Clint couldn’t disagree there. He shifted and moved, pulling out of the god and landed on his back next to him with a groan. Loki waved a finger and the top sheet shifted from their feet and came to rest over their bodies. After his brain finally managed to work again a thought occurred to him. He turned his face to look at Loki’s sweaty flushed one and asked, “Hey…remember that thing you did with the lamp post? When we were fighting those guys earlier?”

The god took a moment to think about what he was referring to. “Yes…what of it?”

“We should put a pole in our room.” The god chuckled and moved hair from his face again. “Hair clips,” Barton noted and turned to look at the ceiling. “Remind me tomorrow.”

“Remind yourself,” he muttered grumpily stretching a bit and then settled onto his side facing him.

Clint rolled over and threw and an arm around him. Loki gave a small sigh of content. “Keep talking like that and next time I’ll fuck myself,” he half threatened. The god just huffed an amused noise and curled up a bit more. “I mean it.”

“I am positive you do…” he smiled tiredly. “I’ll watch.”

Clint laughed softly and kissed his forehead, defeated for now. That actually didn’t sound like such a bad idea. Before his mind could begin working out the details, Loki’s arm slid up his shoulder and around, playing a little with the back of his neck and hair. It brought a wave of goose bumps to settle over him, yet as much as he’d like for them to turn into desire, they remained ones of relaxing content which brought him to sleep in a few short minutes.

\-------------------------------------------------

Loki smoothed the front of his large dark green knitted sweater as he entered the kitchen. He found Natasha and Steve sitting at the island with their mugs and their breakfast: the soldier was eating oatmeal with fruit, toast, and coffee; the assassin had tea, sausage links, eggs, and a small yogurt.

“Good morning,” they greeted.

“Morrow,” he replied and opened the cabinet to search for a mug. He found one that looked as though no one held any emotional attachment to it, and went to the tea kettle. It smelled heavy and floral; he poured himself a cup and took a sip. It tasted light with just a hint of honey, he rather liked it.

“Clint still in bed?” Steve asked knowingly.

“He strongly dislikes the morning,” he replied setting his mug down.

“Eggs and sausage are over there, if you want toast the bread’s in the pantry, and fruit and yoghurt are in the fridge.” Natasha explained stabbing up some of her food before eating it.

Loki nodded and made himself a small plate of eggs and sausage, grabbing a peach from the fridge and rinsed it off the way he had been advised to. “Where are we heading today?”

“A general American store; I’m sure you and Clint need personal hygiene stuff.”

“I wouldn’t turn my nose from a different style of soap,” Loki considered with a nod as he leaned against the counter to eat his meal. “Where are Lords Banner and Stark?”

“Working on electrical things for the house. They said we should start preparing to move since they can probably get us in there in a day or two.”

“Ah,” he raised his brows impressed. “They work with great diligence and haste.”

“Madness,” Natasha corrected wagging her fork at him and then stuffed more food into her mouth. “The word you’re looking for is ‘madness’.”

“I suppose. Intelligence and madness often court one another.”

“So which one are you: the genius or the madman?”

Loki smiled and was about to answer before the elevator dinged and Clint ambled out. He looked a bit confused, as though he’d just rolled out of bed and discovered the elevator on accident. Thankfully, he’d remembered to slip on a pair of sports shorts and was only lacking a shirt and footwear. “You weren’t in bed,” he explained and rubbed at the back of his head, a bit unhappily but not in a spoiled sort of way; more of a sad realisation.

“No,” he agreed sympathetically, “it is far too late for such a luxury on a day when we have places to be.” He took a drink and set his plate aside as Clint padded over and threw his arms around him. “Good marrow.” The archer’s only response was the burry his face into Loki’s cable-knitted chest and grunt. The god rubbed his back and laughed. “What do you desire to eat?”

“I smell eggs,” was his muffled response.

“Yes and tiny sausages,”

“Fantastic…” he hissed and went to the fridge to search around.

“What are you looking for?” Steve asked, always ready to help.

“Syrup,” the other three answered.

“Top shelf of the door,” Natasha said.

“Thanks.” He found it, pulled it out, and then frowned at Loki. “How did _you_ know?”

“You served it to me,” he replied picking his plate back up to finish what little he had. “The restaurant at the edges of a town? It was the next day after I arrived here.”

“IHOP, I remember now! You sat in the corner after scaring all of the early morning patrons out. We took the cook along with us because you enjoyed the food.”

“It wasn’t the best, yet I was satisfied.” He shrugged and set his empty plate in the sink.

“We left him in England I think?”

“Yes, at a station. Did you pay him for his services?”

“Yeah, just as you had said.” Clint rolled his eyes, before smothering what was left of the eggs in the pan with syrup and tossed the sausages in, “it was S.H.I.E.L.D.’s money, but I left him something good.”

“Excellent,” he nodded and drank deeply from his mug.

The other two heroes blinked at them, unable to properly form words or figure out how they honestly felt about listening to such an odd exchange.

“Is there coffee?” Clint asked getting a fork from the drawer and began eating the drowning food directly from the pan.

“Yes,” Steve answered and pointed. “It’s not very old.”

“Great,” he set his food down and went to find himself a mug. Loki watched curiously as the two at the island started staring intensely at the archer. Barton selected a purple mug with a green interior and a blue handle. The moment it was visible in his hand Steve made a noise of defeat and laid his head down on the surface.

“HA!” the female assassin cackled overjoyed. “Yes! Pay up!”

The soldier rubbed at his face and groaned, “I should know better than to make bets with you!”

She waved her hand at him before making a ‘give-me’ gesture. “Yeah, yeah, bitch later. Pay me now.”

Steve fished through his jean pocket for his wallet and pulled out a fifty. “I thought you were a dog person,” he explained once he noticed Clint and Loki’s confused stares.

“Oh, I like dogs too, but I mean, _cats_!” he grinned excitedly and pointed to the tiny adorable painted white feline stretching along its surface toward a yellow ball of yarn. “They are just extra adorable, how can you not?”

They finished eating, Loki took Clint up to make sure he dressed and did not seek back into bed, and they all headed down to the first floor. A 2011 black ford Taurus was waiting for them outside; the driver that stepped out of it was bald with a patch of hair just under his bottom lip and an expensive looking suit. He had a badge on his person with the Stark logo and dark sunglasses. Clint was a bit leery about getting near him, but Natasha held no fear or hesitation as she let the man open the passenger side door and slipped in. Steve went around the front and got in the driver’s side, leaving the man to open the back and gesture for the other two to entre.

Clint got in and shuffled to the far side. “He’s not coming with us is he?” he asked buckling himself in.

“No, Tony left a few drivers and security officers around just in case.” Steve turned the car on and waved to the man who nodded and stepped back. “Everyone buckled?”

“Yep,”

“Yeah,”

Loki blinked and looked from Steve to Barton and noticed something across their chests. There was a flittering moment of panic that crossed his face. Clint pointed to where the strap came from on his side and then nodded toward Loki. The god turned his head and pulled at the device.

_Pull it over you and clip it in the thing near your waist._

Loki pulled it over and looked down. There was indeed a thing that seemed to be what the metal key, at the centre of the fabric strap, fit into. He put them together and pushed it in. It clicked, he let go, and the belt tightened around him a bit uncomfortably. Steve nodded back at him with a supportive smile and looked for a way into the traffic. They headed northwest on West 35th Street toward 7th Avenue.

“Walmart?” Natasha offered.

The soldier considered it and shrugged as they came to a stop to let pedestrians cross. “Not a bad idea.”

“We didn’t get socks yesterday,” Clint chipped in. “Also I want a slushy.”

“We’re going to Walmart not Target or Meijer,” she scolded lightly, glancing over her shoulder at him.

“We could go to one of those,” he suggested innocently.

The two in the front both heaved a sigh. “It’s going to be a long drive,” Rogers commented as the traffic started moving again.

“You have no idea,” she rolled her eyes and set her elbow on the door, resting her cheek on her closed fist.

“How about 7/11? We could stop there.”

“Clint.”

“Tasha.”

“Don’t make me put you in the trunk.”

\-------------------------------------------------

It took a little while to get out of the city’s stop-and-go traffic, but once they made it to the Lincoln Tunnel the drive evened out. They crossed into New Jersey and a couple minutes later they were pulling into the parking lot. Loki stared through the window in awe, at the massive store, as they hunted for a spot in the cluttered crazy mess of impatient cars and oblivious people pulling out in front of them. They finally found a place to park in the middle of the lot toward the far side and everyone got out.

“What is this place?” he asked aloud as he closed the door.

“This is an America superstore.” Natasha explained slipping her hands into her back pockets as she stood next to him and looked the building over. “It takes up space, causes a lot of pollution and everything is made by enslaving small children in third world countries, so all the prices are cheap enough to appeal to our frugal social mind-set, yet still enough to keep the owner’s pockets full.”

“Enslaved children? Interesting…” Loki mused and caught the spy’s eye. He smiled in a wicked joking manner and went over to Steve and Clint.

She flared her nostrils and narrowed her eyes. Deep inside she was trying hard not to grin in satisfaction over finding someone with the same humour has her own. The speech she had given him had been what her former partner had said back in the late 80s when she’d visited the grand opening of the first ever Supercentre. Her answer had been about the same; it hadn’t impressed Boris Turgenov, but she didn’t need his approval to know her opinion was worth something.

“‘Buy American’ my ass,” she whispered giving the building another look over before moving to catch up with the others.

Clint and Steve each had baskets in hand. They decided to split up for a bit, give Clint a chance to help Loki adjust to the Supercentre so he wouldn’t be so overwhelmed like he had been in Macy’s. Steve was more than thankful for that suggestion.

“The last thing I need is to know what colour his underwear is,” he whispered to Natasha as they left the two near the clothing isle.

“Or if he wears any,” she shrugged trying to hold back a smile as Steve paused and made a face, trying hard to not think about it.

Loki and Clint stood in front of a large selection of packaged underwear. “So these are…” the god corked an amused brow as his eyes scanned the many half-nude pictures of well-muscled men in the various kinds of poses.

“Midgardian underpants.”

“A simple set of loincloths will do fine.”

“These are like that.”

“I’m wearing this style,” Loki pointed to a bag of boxer briefs.

“Yes.”

“What makes it different from the others?”

So for the next fifteen minutes Clint went through a step by step process of explaining each style and why some men preferred which ones over others. Loki asked very few questions, choosing to listen intently and nod as he turned the packages over and thought carefully over which to choose. In the end he settled for the same style as the archer. They grabbed three packages of the darker shades and then moved onto socks.

“What is wrong with these stockings?” he asked picking up a pair that had glittery thread woven through them to try and make the festive Halloween socks cute and more appealing. “Are they under some sort of enchantment?”

“No, it’s a style to get people to buy them.”

“So it is enchanted?”

“Not literally, but yes, to the right eye they may be enchanting.”

Loki looked them over before putting them back and began looking through the assortment of random crazy socks in that area. “How may I be sure that they will fit properly?”

“Well it’s like with shoes, but you can’t try these on. So you look at the tags here, see?” He pointed to the top part of the sock’s paper label. “It says for shoe size eight, so for people with that size, it will fit them.”

“And those of smaller, yet not those with larger?”

“Right,”

“And by gender?”

“Yes,”

“Then these are too small,”

“So we look through the rest on the rack and see if they have a bigger size.”

They spent a little longer there, but Loki managed to obtain some argyle, striped, and spotted special socks. Clint threw in a few packs of ankle blacks in the hand basket and they moved on. Loki didn’t want to spend a great deal of time in the pyjama section. It sparked a brief argument between them over the pointlessness in owning anything of the sort when he slept naked. It made a several ladies and a man in the area raise their brows and look the two over amused or curiously. A few men and a woman with a small boy frowned disapprovingly and hurried away.

In the end, Loki finally agreed to each of them getting two pairs of bottoms, to then which he promptly walked away and let the archer pick them for he honestly didn’t care what he chose. Clint sighed heavily and picked a Dr. Pepper pair, a Sesame Street pair, a Led Zeppelin pair, and a bright pink Hello Kitty one just to spite the god. It backfired and made him a little bit more upset when he presented it and Loki didn’t seem to mind the colour or understand who the tiny cat was. He assumed since Clint was fascinated with cats, he’d be wearing the large pink feline sleeping pants.

Before they could get into another tiny and ridiculously pointless bickering match, they thankfully met up with Natasha in the bra section.

“Steve ran off on me,” she sighed frustrated and threw the bra into a cart she had wisely snagged. “The sissy!”

“Maybe he wanted to be surprised?” Clint offered and looked over the overly flouncy lacy bra she’d chosen.

“He doesn’t even look at the ones I wear now.”

“Soft corsets…” Loki said to himself as he squished and examined one off to the side of them. Natasha looked at him, torn between being slightly amused and concerned, and then looked at Clint.

He smiled and shrugged before picking up the bra. He looked it over and realised what was going on. “So…he’s shy still and you thought this would make him jump out of his shell?”

“You have a better idea?” she challenged crossing her arms defensively.

“Yeah, KISS,” he said holding the bra out and shook it at her, “Keep It Simple Smartass. He’s from an era where if a woman wore jeans she was a rebel.” He put the bra back on the rack. He handed Loki the basket. “Here hold this for a second please.”

“What are you doing?” she asked rolling her eyes as he started looking through solid coloured ones.

“Helping. Now are we going for push up or normal?”

“I’d like to fight comfortably wearing it.”

“Normal with a little bit of padding.” He selected a couple and then smiled when he found a few with just a hint of cream lace at the centre front and side parts. He held them out to her. “Go try these on.”

“Boring blues and blacks are going to make him break out of his shell?”

“Just trust me!” he hissed and shoved them into her arms. He turned her toward the changing rooms and gave her a little push.

She sighed heavily, “fine.”

“We’ll be in the shampoo etcetera aisle,” he called and then turned to Loki with a smile and linked their arms. “Come on, we’re nearly done.”

“Are we?”

He smirked at the almost disappointed tone the god’s voice held. “We can always come back,” he said to ease his doubts. Loki nodded and they navigated their way around until they found the health and beauty section. He took the god to the very back of it.

“This is the vitamin and medicine aisle. We’re not here for these things though, but I thought I’d show you anyways.” He pulled him one up. “This is for hair removal, and deodorant, fragrance things.” He walked down it, snatched a pack of razors and held up a stick of men’s body odorant. “They come in different scents. This goes on under your arms. It helps either block sweat or cover up the smell. Some do both, but you have to watch out for ones that lie.”

“We have something similar, just not in such a…form.”

“Cool. The down side is you can’t really open them to smell and pick which one you want, so I guess you’ll just have to read the label and hope it’s something your nose likes. This is the kind I use.”

Loki took it from him and looked it over before handing it back. He turned his attention to the wall off different choices and began looking them over. Clint put the one he wanted in their overstuffed basket along with the disposable razors. The god selected one that was just a deodorant with the word “wolf” and “spice” on its package.

Clint took him into the next aisle. “This is where they keep the body wash.”

“Excellent.” Loki went quickly to some brightly coloured bottles. “What does this smell like?” he pointed to a picture of a coconut.

“These are a little different; you can get away with popping the top a little and taking a sniff.”

Loki took it off the shelf and did so. He made a face, “Oh this is unsavoury!”

Clint laughed. “What are you looking for?”

“Not this,” Loki put it back and then smell-sampled a few others. He decided he liked the non-fruit ones best and avoided those as he moved down the lines. He selected one that had honey and vanilla in it. He held it out for Clint.

“I like it,” he said giving it back after taking a whiff. “Get the bigger bottle on the bottom shelf though. It’ll not only last us a little longer, it’ll cost us less too.” Loki did as he was instructed, as well as snagging a bar version he found, and they went into the next row.

“Now I don’t honestly care what scent you get here. These are shampoo and conditioners. Some bottles have both in them so make sure to read the labels.”

“I may select any one?”

“Yes,” he took one off the shelf and held it out. “Many are formulated for specific things, like curly hair, thick hair, medium hair, and so on.” He set it back and looked the whole lot of hair products over. “Whatever one you get, get the largest bottle you can of it, in fact, grab two. I’m going to get another of the body wash. It’s smarter if we have a reserve. Normally one bottle lasts me a while, but we’re both sharing. I’ll be right back.”

Loki nodded at him and began looking. Clint went around the corner and snatched up another large bottle. He ran into Natasha, who had selected one of each bra he had picked for her, as well as a few pairs of lacy underpants in similar colours.

“See,” he smiled and pointed to them. “That’s how you do it. Lead him into a false sense of security and then – pow! – lacy panties!”

“Shut up,” she punched his shoulder with a sigh. “Where is Loki?”

“In the next aisle. He’s picking out shampoo and conditioner. We’re out of room in our basket so, here,” he set the bottle of body wash down. “Hang onto that.”

“Will you do me a favour?” she bit her lip and looked around.

“Yeah,”

She leaned in and he brought his head down to listen to her. “Go get me a box of condoms?”

“What?” he frowned and stared at Natasha confused if he hadn’t heard her right.

She looked around again and ran her fingers through her hair holding back something he wasn’t used to seeing on her face. “It’s a long story. Just please? There are too many people around. If I do it someone will see and the media will slut-shame me. If Steve does it they’ll destroy his wholesome family image.”

“So let the pansexual carnie get caught in public buying sex stuff?”

“Please, Clint?” she begged softly. “We’ll call it even.”

“Even? For what?”

“For yelling at Steve yesterday,”

Clint thought about it for a moment and realised what she was talking about. He gave a whiny sigh and slouched a bit. “Are you seriously going to –”

“Yes, so unless you want a punch in your face go get them for us,”

“Why do you even need them? It’s not like –”

“I know but _he_ doesn’t know that,” she rushed out moving past him to snatch up a bottle of body wash, her tone suggesting it was something that bothered her more than she wanted to admit.

“What?” he hissed following her. He stood before her stunned.

“I know there are a ton of things you and Loki haven’t told each other, so don’t try and make me feel bad for not telling him this.” She shoved him aside, angry with herself over being embarrassed and frustrated over something as stupid as buying condoms. She pushed the cart into the next aisle and started looking through the men’s razors.

“But this is –”

“A relationship breaker, I know. That’s why,” she stopped and bit her lip again. He knew she was really worried and it hurt him to see how hard this was for her. “Clint he’s the…he’s the nicest and most involved guy I’ve ever been with. I…I don’t…know if I…want to lose him.”

“I don’t think –”

“I don’t want to take that chance yet. We haven’t crossed that bridge, and I don’t want to risk burning something that might or might not even be there.”

Clint sighed and scratched the back of his head. It wasn’t the way he’d go about things, but he wasn’t her so he couldn’t judge just offer his opinion and then support. “Fine…what size?”

“A regular large brand,” she flushed slightly, grabbing the razors of her choice and then a bottle of men’s shaving cream.

“Oh!” he teased poking at her sides. “I see!”

“Shut up,” she pushed him away. “I’m sure if you were smart you’d have to buy the same. Or would you both have to buy something smaller?” she sassed irritably back.

“One: I was tested after New York _and_ two: Loki is kind of immune to every disease here and there,” he laughed and hurried off to go grab a box before she could hit him. He popped his head around the corner and hissed pointing at her, “And third: if we _did_ need ’em, we’d have to use magnums! XL!”

Natasha covered her face with a hand and prayed no one around had overheard anything they had said. Sometimes… she took a breath. Sometimes Barton was just too much. She turned and went off to find a two-in-one shower hair wash for Steve.

\-------------------------------------------------

Loki walked down the aisles, trying to keep the rushed feeling from his step as he searched for a familiar face, arms full of the large bottles, basket too full to hold anything else. Clint had said he would be right back, now he almost wondered if he should have stayed in one place; but he had already found the shampoo and conditioner he wanted, what was the point in standing there looking around stupidly? Besides, people had started cluttering up the way. People who stared at him, people he didn’t know…it made him anxious and that had stirred the darkness a bit too much for his comfort.

He finally spotted Clint and, supressing a sigh of relief, went over to him. “Where are the others?”

“Tasha’s getting shower things and Steve is still…somewhere.” He turned to look at the god and then went back to looking over the packages. “What’d you get?”

“Something with ingredients I could fairly understand. I had to carry them, they wouldn’t fit.” He looked at the wall of boxes and then at Clint. “What are you staring at?”

“Condoms…Tasha and the crowned Prince of America can’t buy them without facing ridicule from the media, so I’m doing it.”

“What are they?”

“Prevents pregnancy and the spread of sexual diseases,”

“Ah,” he realised what they were.

“Do uh…Asgardians and Jötunns worry about…things like that?”

“Unwanted pregnancy? Yes. Sexual diseases, no. Their bodies adapted against them a very long time ago.” He gestured carefully to the wall, “We refer to these things by other names.”

“Like?”

“Normally one would come out and ask for ‘protection’ to be used; however the guards or those of lesser birth refer to them by idiotic names. Snake tamers, seed catchers, penis stockings,” he riddled them off, not bothering to hide his distaste.

Clint laughed, “Clever.”

“Not very. I have left many a wench in the heat of passion when they tried being ‘irresistible’ and ‘witty’ by asking for me to use a…lover’s cock net…”

Barton clamped a hand over his mouth and turned away trying to keep the level of his laughter down. “Okay we have some stupid names too, but that one might win.”

“Yes…I thought it might,” he looked the aisle over and then turned away, mildly confused. “I do not understand why one would need so many. They are not hard to clean.”

“These aren’t animal or whatever. They are…latex and polysomethings and stuff.”

“The box to your left says otherwise,” he said glancing over his shoulder.

Clint rolled his eyes and finally picked a regular latex brand he knew wasn’t very expensive but wouldn’t break easily. “Humans: we’re wasteful.”

“Apparently,” he agreed. “Now if we could find a place to put these, I’m worried I shall accidentally drop them and people are staring.”

He chuckled. “That never stopped you before.”

Loki was silent for a moment. “I’m not the same as I was before.”

Clint looked at him and then nodded and pointed down a lane. “Lead on then.”

“Where?”

“I don’t know, she was in razors, so she’s probably now in either the dental aisle or shampoo.”

“I’m right here,” she said pulling up to them.

“Great!”

“You keep a hold of them,” she warned pointing to the box the archer held and took the bottles from Loki’s arms. She tossed the contents of his basket into the cart as well, before setting the now useless hand basket aside in one of the racks. “What else?”

“Mouth stuff,” Clint said.

They headed to that aisle and found Steve frowning at two bottles of mouthwash.

“Glad we all found each other again,” he said glancing at them.

“Peppermint,” Natasha said and took the blue-green bottle from his hand. He thought about it for a second and then shrugged with a nod, knowing she was right. He had always preferred that flavour over the spearmint or orange one he had been thinking over.

“What are these?” Loki pointed to the section of dental brushes.

“Toothbrushes, you clean your mouth and teeth with them.”

“How bizarre,”

“Well how do you do it on Asgard?”

“You rub on a salt and sage mixture and rinse it out, or chew a tooth stick.” He looked at Clint. “Banner said to not chew the white tiny one he gave me, so I never used it.”

“Yeah, those were crappy anyways…these are like the stick,” he grabbed a four pack that had two different shades of green, a purple and a pink one. “I’ll teach you how to use it when we get home. Now…mint, spearmint, orange, cinnamon, what do you want in your mouth?”

Loki smirked, holding back the comment that rose to his lips and shrugged instead. “I haven’t a clue as to what that is supposed to mean.”

“Toothpaste,” Clint said quickly and realised why the god was smiling. He tried not to laugh and continued to explain, “You put it on these,” he tapped the package of brushes, “and it helps clean your teeth, whiten them, keeps cavities from forming, and makes your breath smell great. I’m assuming it’s like the salt and sage stuff.”

“Choose whatever you desire. I’m sure I will manage regardless of the flavour.”

Clint handed the god the objects over as he selected them. He grabbed a spearmint brand and a matching bottle of mouthwash. Loki put them in the cart as well as the toothbrushes.

“I think that’s everything, right?” Natasha said looking the cart over.

“I think so,” Steve nodded. “Unless you all wanted to pick out a movie?”

“Oh yeah,” she turned the cart and began for the back of the store.

After some debate, and Loki learning a great deal more about Midgardian electronics than he’d original thought he would, they picked out the Harry Potter series and a few horror movies about a thirteenth of Friday and a ring. They went to the check out and began loading things onto the belt to be scanned. Natasha gave Clint a look and he turned his head searching for something to distract the soldier while she waited to set her undergarments up to be scanned.

“Hey look you’re on a magazine,” he said pointing. Steve came over and looked at it. “Great picture, I love the whole butt action shot, it’s very flattering. Do you do specific things to keep it that firm or was that part of the program?”

“The program,” he responded and picked up the magazine to look it over, giving Natasha time to hand the stuff off to the lady. She scanned and quickly bagged it and Natasha pulled that bag out and tied it closed before tossing it back into the cart.

Loki helped organise everything according to owner as well as put the full bags into their cart. When the total came out Steve put the magazine down and got out his wallet.

“Wait,” Clint came over and set the box of condoms down as well as a packet of spicy cinnamon gum. “Sorry, I was reading one of the cooking magazines,” he said to the cashier as he leaned against the counter. She flushed and rang up the item, her face turning redder when he winked at her.

Jealousy flared up inside of Loki, burning so hot it hurt for him to look at the girl or the archer. Clint sensed it and chanced a glance toward him. He had crossed his arms over his chest and was looking at the far wall, his breathing pattern indicated he was highly annoyed, and his tight lips warned any words from him would be razor sharp. Clint tried reaching out to him but he felt the god brush his emotions aside roughly.

_Well shit…_ he sighed and turned back to the girl to give her another dazzling suave smile as he picked up the bag and followed Natasha and Loki toward the exit. Steve took the receipt and quickly wished the girl a great day before catching up.

Once in the car Clint tried again. Loki belted himself in and pushed it back away a little more violently than before. “Oh don’t be that way,” he begged out loud.

The god looked out the window and didn’t say anything, only folded his arms again and crossed his legs, turning his body away a little. Natasha’s curious glance and Steve’s motherly concerned looks were not helping. Clint sighed heavily and slumped in his seat. _Man…everything had been going great._

He decided on the short trip back that he would occupy his mind with ways to make it up to the god. Offering him to go out on a walk? A trip to an ice cream place? A proper date? Rough angry sex? Yeah that would work better than any of the other options his mind had given him. His thoughts were abruptly interrupted just before he could even begin them.

_I do hope your thoughts are not about her,_

_What?_ He frowned and looked at him. _Who her?_

_The vendor woman._ Loki was silent for a while. _Why did you display such flattering advances to her?_

_I was trying to act like the objects were mine. A confident male buying sexual related things normally draws attention. If enough people saw it, then no one could link Tasha or Steve to them._

The god’s emotions faltered for a moment as he accepted such logic, but he frowned and added, _Regardless…I didn’t enjoy it._

Clint’s lips twitched. _Are you jealous?_ Loki didn’t answer; he only straightened his back more. Barton smiled. _That’s cute._

_My anger is not a thing to be played with,_ he warned.

_No, but in this case, it’s cute._ He leaned toward him in the car and reached for him, setting a hand on his arm, which stiffened under his touch. _I honestly don’t want her if that’s what you’re worried about._

_You were thinking it._

_The sex thing?_

_Yes._

Clint had to stop himself from laughing. _I was thinking about ways to persuade you to not be mad at me. I don’t want anyone but you._

Loki looked at him and then back out the window, his anger fading slowly. He moved his hand out to rest over Clint’s. They stayed like that until they pulled up before Stark’s tower. The man was standing there waiting as well as two more. They all moved toward the trunk and began removing the bags to carry inside.

“I think I could become very used to someone taking my stuff into my giant expensive house,” Natasha said with a pleased smile as she watched them work quickly. “Do you think we could get someone that did massages?”

“I don’t know, ask your boyfriend,” Clint countered as he moved past her. She hit his back, causing him to laugh and hurry inside away from her, Loki and Steve not too far behind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **So little fun fact:** according to the offical Marvel site, The Avenger's Mansion is located at 890 Fifth Avenue, Manhattan, New York, New York, and Stark's Tower is somewhere 58th and Broadway, near the Columbus Circle. In _The Avengers_ movie Stark's Tower is located in Midtown, Manhattan, New York, New York, just a short ways down from Grand Central Station.  
>  Just if you wanted to google maps it or what not.


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's long! Oh gods it's long! But I hope you enjoy it.
> 
> All mistakes are my own. Tell me if something doesn't flow right, sounds weird, or isn't complete. I'll fix it right away.
> 
> Thank you for reading!

\----------------------32----------------------

Hill was standing before the window, much in the same manner Fury had often done. She now realised why he had. It wasn’t the fact that she was literally looking down on the earth, as what she had though the former director had done in a way to boost his ego, it was that she was looking at what she had sworn to protect. It was a reminder that no matter how bad things became she had to do her job, no matter the costs. The world was huge and if she quit who would take her place? Not someone who could help those who needed it. Not someone who felt remorse over signing death warrants. Not someone who cried as they read over documents detailing the arresting of children or torture reports of people refusing to confess where their loved ones or friends were hiding.

No…to stand in that office and look out that window…it was a reminder of the burdens which had been placed upon her. It was a warning to herself that if she gave up…the world she was staring down at would cease to be. People were power hungry. People were drunk on the promise of personal gain and they gorged their horrible appetites on the cries for help and the bodies that piled up as they ignored the world burning around them.

Maria would never be like that. She would keep her position no matter what the cost. No matter if history portrayed her as a villain, she had to do it. To keep the most important secrets; to play the part of the good pet for the council; to do as Fury had asked…

There was a knock at the door.

“Entre,” she called.

Sam popped his head in and gave a small salute out of habit. “Director Hill. We’re ready for you.”

“Has the team been debriefed?”

“Yes, they understand it is a ‘shoot-to-sleep’ mission, not ‘shoot-to-kill’.”

“No matter what?”

“Yes, May was very specific in that order from you.”

She nodded and swallowed as she turned to him. “Very well.” She picked up the long leather jacket, she had been gifted for her new position, and put it on. She gathered her briefcase and headed out the door, which Sam held open for her.

They walked in silence toward the hanger. The place was buzzing with confusion and excitement. Some of the agents glared as she passed and some smiled with their sick sadistic glee. It made her insides twist. She wanted to reach out and reassure the agents that hated her that it was all an act. This wasn’t what she wanted. She wanted to punch the agents that spoke of how many mutant children they were going to capture as if this mission were some redneck hunting contest.

It was a hunting contest though.

“Everyone to your stations! In thirty we carry out our mission!” She called as she climbed the ramp and entered her jet.

“MOVE OUT IN THIRTY!” Wilson repeated the order. Several other team leaders shouted it and everyone began to move in formation. He hurried after her. “It’s going to be alright,” he whispered to her.

“I know,” she said back. “You have your orders, I have mine. Just remember what we agreed upon.”

He nodded. “Any news?”

She shook her head. “No.”

“The order was delivered,”

She nodded and kept hope that her secret message had been received in time. “I’ll see you in a few hours.”

Sam saluted. “Yes, Madam Director.”

\-------------------------------------------------

Alpha team was using a battering ram to break the front door in. This wasn’t a stealthy operation, because there was no chance for anyone inside the mansion to escape. The lawns, woods, and every exit were covered. Teams were on the roof, in the air, and on foot; some already breaking into the windows upstairs from the outside to try and herd people down toward the foyer.

The door finally gave way and men rushed in like a dam breaking free; branching out as they began kicking open doors and searching the rooms. Hill stood tall and proud in the entrance way as the chaos around her unfolded; with each announcement on her radio she silently prayed they’d find nothing.

“Zeta team has nothing. Fourth floor is clear.”

“Sigma team has zip. Sixth floor is clear.”

“Omega here. No one in the lower levels.”

“Beta reports no one running from the house.”

“Kappa doesn’t spot anything from the roof.”

Maria kept her hope from her face and frowned instead. She activated her radio. “I want Delta in here with scanners. Check all of the walls for suspicious panels. Omega, keep going. The blue prints show those levels go deep. There was a large unnamed chamber toward the west; they might be hiding in there.”

“Yes, ma’am,” and “Roger that,” were the team captains responses.

Maria closed her eyes and focused on her breathing. _Please let them have gotten my note. Please let them have gotten away in time. Please. Please…_

“Omicron to Madam Director,”

“Madam Director here,” she replied.

“We have entered the garage and managed to bust the doors open. There are no cars.”

“Excuse me?”

“All of the vehicles and aircrafts are missing accept for one.”

“What one is that?”

“A motorbike,”

She froze. That meant… “Repeat that again,” she ordered slowly.

“It’s just a – AH! AHHHH!!!!”

“Omicron?” she called as the transmission was cut by the sound of screams and gun fire.

She looked at the second in command of Alpha. “Take a few of your men and see what is going on. Engage only if you need. Report back immediately.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he nodded and called forth a handful to go with him.

Hill returned to her radio. “Anything yet?”

There were ‘no’s’ all around. Regan Wood, captain of the Alpha team and a level eight agent, approached her.

“The only food supplies we found in the kitchen are canned goods and beer. Every team is reporting the rooms are empty. Things are missing and displaced, as though they packed in haste.”

“What does Upsilon have to say?”

“They have been checking the electrical histories. They found that no one has turned anything on in a few days. It seems there was a lot of activity in the house and then nothing.”

“Activity as in…?”

“The graphs are showing an increase in light and outlet usage, some phone calls, then everything went dark. It seems someone ripped out the lines.”

“Get someone to see who they were calling. If we can bribe a transcript out of the companies, do it. If not, hack them.”

“Yes, ma’am,”

“Delta here.” Her radio announced before she could give her next command. She gave Regan a tight lipped frown and then turned, “What have you got for me?”

“We found a few fake walls, permission to search them?”

“Permission granted. Whatever team is assigned that floor, they go into those passages. Proceed with caution.”

“Yes, ma’am,”

She put the radio down from her face only for a moment before she was being called again.

“Madam Director!”

“Yes?”

“This is second of Alpha. We found Omicron.”

She held her breath for a moment. “And?”

“Well…we found…some of Omicron.”

Hill frowned. “What do you mean ‘some’?”

“Some are missing,”

“And?” she pressed.

“Some are dead; they appear to have been attacked by a giant creature.”

“What _kind_ of creature?” she said with an annoyed sigh.

“A cat.”

“Excuse me?” But she already knew. The beer, the canned food, the motorbike: Logan was still there.

“They have scratches…we’re thinking a large cat.”

Maria looked at Regan who nodded and went off to carry out her spoken and unspoken orders. She took a breath and then activated her radio, “Attention all units, we have something on the premises still. Everyone be on your guard. Report any suspicious activity and remember this is a shoot to _SLEEP_ mission, not kill. The council wants _live_ prisoners. We need a medical team to Omicron and some to search for –”

There was the sound of shouts and the standard S.H.I.E.L.D. issued .30 caliber machine pistols going off to her left. Everyone around went ridged, ready to spring into action. She let out the breath she had been holding and finished her command, “And some to search for the rest with second Alpha leader.” She turned to the group around her and motioned, “I need three men with me; the rest of you keep sweeping this floor. I’ll call if I need more.”

“Yes, ma’am,” they said.

She was pleased that the three who stepped up to go with here were some of the ones who had made bets about how many children they were going to capture. Even their gleeful faces now made her sick to her stomach. She wanted to turn around and pistol-whip them, but she restrained herself.

They went down the long hall carefully and found bodies around the corner. Some were knocked out from their own tranquilliser darts, others were bleeding and unmoving.

“See who is alive and who isn’t,” she whispered and turned the volume on her radio down. The men nodded and began moving around, tagging each agent quickly. There was a noise of someone expiring to her left. She looked and found bloody handprints along the side of a half closed door. The three came over to her ready to jump in the way and she motioned for the door as she pulled her gun out of her holster.

They went when she nodded her permission and she followed. It was dark; all of the windows having been boarded up on purpose. The door slammed shut behind them and there was the brush of someone moving past her. She held her breath and turned raising her gun. One of the men went down with a small yelp a little ways to her left. She backed toward the door and felt along the walls for the light switch.

Flicking it up and down, she realised the power had been cut to the entire house. She quickly reached into her jacket to pull out her sunglasses and activated the secondary settings. It wasn’t the best night vision she could have used, but it was something and much better than nothing. She saw the other two with their backs to each other, slowly turning around the dark room. She spotted a figure was standing near them, waiting. Watching them intently. It moved, startling one who turned and began firing. He killed his team member and then went down with a shrill scream as the figure stabbed him in his throat. She wasn’t surprised they were stupid enough to have defied her orders. She was just sorry she didn’t have a better view of their perverted faces before they rightfully got what they deserved.

She moved away from the door slowly. The figure moved, as if he were sniffing or looking for her. She froze. He slowly crept one way and she moved the other.

“I know you’re in here,” he teased. “I can _smell_ your fear.”

Fear wasn’t even the start of what she felt. She was full-blown terrified. How could she manage to tell or convince him that she wasn’t an enemy? She couldn’t do it out loud, there were too many spies and the council had bugs everywhere.

Maria’s mind went through a thousand things to say to get her out of this situation alive, all of them turned up lame or gave her position away.She stepped and almost fell over a body. She froze again, watching as he listened and then moved the other way. She took a few steps back; looking down to make sure she wouldn’t trip or hit anything.

Her eyes had only left him for a split second, yet she found the wind knocked out her as she was slammed against the far wall roughly; one of her arms pinned by an iron grip the other still holding her gun which was stuffed into the stomach of the man pinning her down.

He pushed his blood drenched claws closer to her throat. “What are you doing here… _sweetheart_?” he added with a sniff up the side of her face.

“I…” she began and then took a breath, licking her lips, “I am Director Maria Hill of S.H.I.E.L.D.. I am here under orders of the World Council to arrest persons of –”

There was a noise off to the side. Someone had followed her and was standing on the other side of the room, she could see their silhouette. They must have entered through another room or a vent. They held up a gun that was a little too big for the ones she had ordered for the mission. They shot at the mutant, catching him in the arm.

“I said shoot to sleep only!” she called and felt the Wolverine release her as he moved with blinding speed and stabbed the man in the chest and then the stomach. She watched the blurry figure crumple to the floor and then turned her attention back on Logan. She raised her stun gun a little higher and gripped it with two hands.

“Why are you here?” he challenged, his voice sounding as though he were smiling. Maria didn’t answer; she only swallowed and stared defiantly at the back of him. He turned and looked directly at her and walked up to her as though the darkness didn’t matter. He looked down at the gun and then back at her before quickly grabbing it. He pinned her arm above her head, one claw back to her throat. She reached out with her free hand and held onto his wrist tightly, trying to push it away as she lifted her chin away from the blades. “I asked you…a question, _Madam_ … _Director_.”

“I am here under the authority of the World Council.”

“What for?”

“Where has everyone gone?”

“Oh,” he chuckled amused. “Going to play that game, huh?”

“I’m not here for games,”

“I think you are, and you know what else I think?” he leaned in toward her. “I think I might take you with me. I need a little entertainment on the road. Don’t worry, they’ll find your body…eventually.”

“You can’t intimidate me, James Howlett. I know too much about you, and I know for a fact you’re not that type of man.”

He was silent for a moment. He started sniffing the air around her again, his claws retracting a bit. “You sent us the message,” he whispered.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she lied smoothly.

Logan sniffed at the air again and then nodded, letting go of her slowly and gently as he took a few steps back.

“You won’t find anyone,” he smiled, keeping up the front.

“We may not, but we can take you in, and we’re bound to get something out of you then.” She shook and rubbed on her wrists.

“Oh yeah?” he laughed. “How do you figure that, sweetheart?”

“You’re completely surrounded and there is no way you can possibly escape.” She hesitated before asking, “Why did you stay behind?”

“To make sure if it was true or not,”

“If what was true or not?”

“If S.H.I.E.L.D. had abandoned us,”

Maria felt shame stab her in the chest and she looked down at her feet. “S.H.I.E.L.D. cannot protect those who violate the laws,” she repeated the council’s new phrase. It was the same one she told herself every few minutes. The one she woke from nightmares hearing.

“What did Xavier ever do?”

“He…he harboured dangerous persons. He, himself, is also a dangerous person.”

“A mutant,” he growled. “That’s what you’re talking about? Mutants? You’re sent here to capture kids because they’re born different? What’s next? Are you going to start rounding up people with red hair? What about blue eyes? Maybe go back and take a leaf out of Hitler’s book and burn a few Jews?”

“I’m only following orders!” she snapped angrily. “I do what I’m told. I’m trying to keep people safe. If my superiors deem a certain group of persons a hazard then in order to ensure the safety of our planet I _have_ to follow their wishes to the letter.”

“No matter the cost?”

“I’ll do whatever it takes to make sure my primary mission is carried out.” She knew he could tell that she was telling the truth, she just hoped that he could tell that she was stuck between a rock and a hard place with trains full of explosives barrelling toward her at full speed from either side.

Her radio went off. It was Woods. He was asking where she was. She didn’t answer. He started calling to the people who were no longer living in the room, and then to others. He was quickly gathering a backup force.

Logan shifted and then activated his claws, holding them out to her in a peaceful gesture. She knew what he was asking and what she needed to do. She nodded and braced herself. He moved forward and she side-stepped, but not in time. He cut her arm. It wasn’t life-threatening, but it was deep enough that it would bleed and probably need a stitch or two. She shot her gun off across the room at his leg. The stun pins grazed him, embedding into a piece of furniture and zapped a bit before dying out. She stumbled as she backed away. Logan reached out, grabbing her. He pulled her close and then slapped her.

She knew he was being gentle, but it hurt like a bitch! Her head was ringing a little and she tasted a bit of blood in the corner of her mouth. She did not envy the people who crossed the man’s path in the wrong way. She held up her gun again to try and get his arm but he pulled it out her hand. She didn’t really put up a fight as it slipped from her fingers and landed somewhere out of sight and reach.

She pressed her hand to her shoulder and took a step back. He removed her glasses and broke them as well as the radio. The silence and darkness swept in quickly and made her feel as though she were drowning. She staggered back, grabbing for the knife inside of her boot, and raised it.

“You only get one good shot, so make it count,” he warned in a low tone coming closer. Maria could feel the heat radiating off of him. She held her hand out to feel and he puffed out his chest. She hesitated for a moment and then closed her eyes, to help her brain figure out her surroundings, and aimed the knife for his shoulder. She looked at where she thought his face might have been, silently asking if it was a good option. He took a breath that sounded as though he was bracing himself and that was her only indication. She stabbed him and he gave a loud yell. The sound of feet running down the hall alerted them that help was on the way.

Logan threw her across the room, his claws catching on her thigh. She cried out and rolled, the pain from his marks burned. She could feel blood gushing out of the ones on her leg and knew he hadn’t meant to do that, it was a reflex from training. The door busted opened and before anyone could react, Logan was just tearing the last board off of the window before he jumped through. Glass flew in multiple directions from the force of his impact and the agents on the lawns activated their guns.

Maria held up her hand, the sudden light blinding her. She hissed and tried sitting up completely.

“Madam Director,” Regan hurried to her as the others went off to follow the mutant and secure the area around. “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine,” she lied and tried to get up. She wobbled and fell into the captain’s arms. She was a bit surprised that she didn’t have to pretend for once that something didn’t hurt or wasn’t real. She was thankful Logan was smart enough to suggest the idea of them fighting to help keep her cover, yet was going to demand pay back from him for not only drawing extra blood but forcing her to land on her ankle and wrist awkwardly.

“What did you think you were doing taking on the Wolverine by yourself?” he chastised and picked her up bridal-style.

“I can walk!” she shouted and tried getting out of his hold. The pain in her limbs flared up and she swore grabbing them as she curled inward.

“You’re supposed to have stayed in the front room!” he hissed.

“I was only –”

“I need a path! Madam Director is injured!” he shouted as they went from the room, everyone moving quickly out of the way. He took her to her jet and set her down; one of the med-agents came over and started helping her out of her jacket so he could look at her wounds.

“They’re not too deep,” the young man assured as he started cleaning them. “They look worse than what they are. He must have just swiped you in passing.”

“I’m not incompetent, I’ve been in S.H.I.E.L.D. long enough that I used to teach some of the advanced training classes,” she snapped back at him as the pain slowly began to throb along her limbs. Damn him! She was going to guilt him into letting her kick his ass properly once this whole bullshit ordeal was over. “I need the teams –”

“I’ve got the teams. You stay here,” Woods ordered.

“Excuse me, Agent Regan but –”

“Excuse me, Madam Director, but a little _birdy_ told me what to do in case something happened,” he said staring at her hard for a moment before leaving.

Maria froze blinking a few times and then sat back, letting the young doctor cut her suit sleeve so that he could start bandaging her arm. She gave a deep sigh of relief and had to stop herself from crying at the realisation of his words. That was two. Two people she now knew she could trust. Two…only two but it was more than she thought she’d have.

“Are you alright Madam Director?”

“Yes,” she nodded and sniffed. “This shit just _really_ stings,” she gestured to the wounds.

“You’re lucky. I’ve never heard of the Wolverine letting someone go.”

She glared down at him. “He didn’t let me go,” she said, her voice dark, warning him that he was stepping on thin ice. “ _He_ ran away. Like a coward.”

The young agent nodded his head, his eyes wide as he internally chastised himself for speaking so bluntly to her. She looked him over and realised he was new, very new. So new that he still didn’t have a proper field badge on his belt. Maria turned her head, her brief moment of relief turning into cold sobering dread. She might have just found another person she could trust, but S.H.I.E.L.D. was full of enemies to her now. Countless agents who blindly followed the council, without question, and she only had two who were smart enough to keep their sanity.

She wiped up the blood at her mouth and clenched her jaw firmly shut.

\-------------------------------------------------

Fury and Phil were sitting in the living room watching TV while Thor was in the kitchen, mindlessly eating from a box of poptarts, when the other four walked in.

“What’s going on?” Steve asked.

“It’s Washington, they’ve brought that act to the Committee and their doing hearings now,” Phil explained, not taking his eyes away from the screen.

“I thought that act was cast aside a while ago?” Natasha hurried to crouch on the arm of the couch next to Coulson.

“What act?” Steve asked confused and came to stand next to her.

“The Superhuman Registration Act,” Natasha explained. “It’s so that the government can keep track of people like us and mutants.”

“Would we be considered in that category?” Loki inquired cautiously.

“Yes,” Fury replied. “There was an amendment made to the original document that states all beings, whether of this world and dimension or not, have to be on the list.”

“Three guesses whose idea that was,” Clint muttered a little darkly.

“What happens to them if they’re on this list?” Steve said ignoring the archer and looked at Natasha and then at the two former S.H.I.E.L.D. agents.

“There are two categories: not a threat and threat. Those who are not considered a threat have to wear something to identify themselves at all times. Those who are a threat…are either taken into custody or neutralised,” Fury answered sombrely.

“That’s Banner,” Thor said suddenly.

Steve’s face morphed into shock, “They would take Bruce away?”

“And you, Romanoff, and Phil for experiments. They would also take Tony because of his IQ. Loki and Thor would be taken as well because they are otherworldly. If they were smart they’d let you both go home, but these people are stupid. They’ll either do experiments on you or take you out. Wrath of Asgard be damned. They’re suicidal.”

“Why Phil?”

The former S.H.I.E.L.D. members all shifted. Clint looked at Natasha who looked at Phil. They both knew that there was something special about him, yet they had never been told exactly what it was. They had the friendship, but not the clearance.

“Uh, wow,” Coulson said and rubbed at his neck a bit embarrassed. “Um…I…can-can we hold this conversation off until a little later? Please? I just…it’s…personal,” he whispered and looked at everyone.

“Yes,” Loki and Thor promised. Natasha and Clint nodded and Steve took a moment before deciding.

“Very well,” he said finally. He didn’t want to just let it go now, but he owed this man a lot. Phil had believed in him when no one else did and put his life on the line to bring them together and save earth.

“How many days are they doing the hearing?” Tasha whispered, her fingers massaging her head in a nervous fashion as she watched the elected members, who were supposed to defend and protect the people, argue back and forth.

“In two. They’ve just begun stating cases for and against now,” Fury answered and rubbed at his forehead.

“What side is S.H.I.E.L.D. on?” Clint asked crossing his arms and stood next to the solider.

“Hill hasn’t shown up yet. She’s taking care of something nearby.”

“What is it?” Natasha asked.

Fury held out a slip of paper which she snatched up and quickly read before passing it off to Steve.

“‘Florida looks nice this time of year. Why don’t you get out and take a break in the Sun’,” he read carefully. “What does that mean?”

“Florida is the code word for S.H.I.E.L.D.,” the archer explained as he took the paper. “See how the words ‘this time’, ‘get out’, and ‘break in’ are all underlined?”

“Yes,”

“That’s the message. It’s telling us that S.H.I.E.L.D. is planning on breaking in Sunday, that’s why ‘sun’ is capitalised, and that they need to get out this time.” He looked over at Fury. “What was this for?”

“It’s a copy,” he explained.

Clint flipped it over and read: Cheese and Ham, 110.

“One hundred and ten?” Steve asked.

“Charles Xavier,” Natasha and Clint said at the same time.

“What?” Steve said looking between them confused.

“Okay roman numerals: ‘C’ stands for a hundred and ‘X’ stands for ten. CX is 110, that’s Xavier’s code.”

“Okay, wait are you telling me that someone from S.H.I.E.L.D. tipped off a raid using their own code? Wouldn’t someone who found this know?”

“It’s the code used by only a small number of people,” Clint said looking over a Fury with unhappy suspicion. “They’re loyalists of Fury. They don’t follow the council completely and they only do what Fury tells them too.”

“I told Hill, before I left, to do whatever those bastards told her to do in order to keep her job so that certain individuals would always remain safe.”

“Certain individuals like Xavier and us?” Rogers said pointing to the paper and them around the room.

“Yes,”

“So what does this mean?”

“It means we know what side they’ve taken,” Natasha answered getting up and going toward the elevator angrily. “They support the act.”

Clint looked at Steve in a sad sympathetic way “Hill has no choice.” He went to follow Natasha and added bitterly over his shoulder at Fury, “Now she understands how the active agents feel.”

Loki didn’t know what that meant, however he suspected it had a lot to do with the archer’s former job. Steve and he looked at each other before going after the two agents.

\-------------------------------------------------

“This is nice,” Pepper sarcastically commented as she stepped over the large chunks of ceiling debris and piles of tangled wires carefully.

“Isn’t it!?” Tony said excitedly as he hung upside down from the ceiling. “My dad had started putting in advanced systems, so this makes our job super easy! Look! The second nicest thing he’s ever done for me!”

“I wouldn’t say second, but it is on the top ten,”

“Ten?” he frowned at her, giving his best ‘oh-really?’ face.

“Information for the element you created; the arc reactor; the company; this house; and, y’know, helping to give you life, are some things I can think of off the top of my head,” she sassed back and then held up the car keys. “I picked up the pizza.”

Banner’s head popped around the corner, he had dust and a few cobwebs in his hair. “Pizza?” he said excitedly interested.

She laughed. “Yes, it’s almost lunch time. I was told that was the bargain for your help. I can’t carry them a–”

“I’ll get them,” he jumped eagerly into action and took the keys. “I’ll, uh…I’ll make sure he doesn’t eat it all. Where should I take them too?”

“The kitchen should be clean by now,” Tony answered as he cut a few wires and then stripped them before twisting their ends together. The gamma-specialist nodded and hurried off.

Pepper watched her boyfriend for a few minutes. “Does this mean we’re not going to see Mama Mia?”

“What? Oh, no, we are still,” he replied and tapped the wires together. “I got the tickets this morning.”

“Are you going to be alright with the singing?”

“I like music,”

“But not musicals,”

He gave a tiny sigh, “Pepper, I’ll manage. There are worse things I’ve had to endure. The jerks in the desert only bored me with infomercials and reruns of Bewitched. If they’d have had access to musicals or ABBA we’d be in a different boat.” He stopped and realised what he’d just said. He turned and found her staring hard at the ground. “No, Pep, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean –”

“No it’s fine,” she sniffed and turned away. “I’m okay. Honestly.”

He wanted to beat his head against the wall. Instead, he pushed the button to lower himself to the ground and hurriedly went to her. “It was a very insensitive thing for me to say,” he apologised and went to rest his hands on her shoulders before he noticed how dirty they were and how clean her white suit was. He felt a little odd around her lately. Everything he said seemed to send her into some sort of negative mood and he never felt as though he were really with her. She was once again untouchable, but this time he’d tasted what it was like to be with her, both physically and emotionally, and now being trapped behind the super thick glass wall, unable to connect with her the way he had been before, was like watching the footage of his parents car crash in slow motion.

He clenched his fingers into a fist and bit his lip as he pulled his hands back a little.

“I’m fine,” she insisted and wiped her eyes. “I mean it. I’m just really excited about the musical. That’s all.”

Tony gave a small smile and pecked her forehead just as Banner came in carrying twenty boxes of pizzas easily. “Wow, I forgot how much you eat,” he commented a bit amazed.

“What? Oh,” he laughed nervously. “Yeah uh, I couldn’t stop him in time, we hate five already.”

Tony blinked and shook his head bewildered. “Good gracious man, how did you manage in India?”

Banner made a face. “You…don’t want to know.”

Tony waited until the scientist had gone into the kitchen before he whispered, “I want to know.”

“No,” Pepper sternly said.

He looked at her and narrowed his eyes, trying to gauge if this was a thing he could push with her or not. Her look suggested it wasn’t one he wanted too. He figured if he kept it quiet enough she’d never know.

“ _No_ ,” she said again, a little firmer this time, as though she could read his thoughts.

His mouth dropped into a frown and he unhappily trudged to the kitchen. He was still going to push it. Now he _needed_ to know.

\-------------------------------------------------

Loki and Clint flopped onto their bed with a sigh.

“Oh shit,” the archer said as he stretched and kicked his shoes off with his feet.

“What?”

“I forgot hair things,”

“These?” Loki asked sitting up and pulled a thin cardboard piece covered with black and brown elastic bands out of one of the bags.

“Oh yay,” he said letting his head drop back.

“I saw Natasha grab them. She put them into our bags before she closed the trunk.”

Barton smiled. “I really love hearing you say that.”

“Say what?”

“Her name,”

Loki stopped and looked away from him. He let the bag and the hair things fall back to the floor as he reclined onto his back. “I am glad it pleases you,” he said carefully.

“Are you happy saying it?” he looked at him. “Honestly? And don’t give me the ‘if it pleases you’ thing either. I want to know. Are _you_ alright with saying her name?”

“Yes,” he replied truthfully. “I suppose some part of me is.”

Clint stretched again and then turned throwing his arm and a leg over the god. “Alright…day of lazy begins now.”

Loki laughed and rested a hand on the archer’s thigh. “Oh what torture.”

“I know right? Sleeping, or reading, or sex,” he pretended to shiver with disgust.

“Simply horrid,”

“How are we going to survive this?”

“We must stay strong,”

Clint leaned up and over him, acting as though he were fighting something within himself. “Can’t! Let! It! Overcome! Us! Mustn’t! Give in!” he said bringing his lips closer to Loki’s.

“Oh dear,” he laughed and turned his face away. “You’ve succumbed so easily.”

Barton stopped the dramatics for a moment, “Can you blame me?”

Loki chuckled and shook his head, “I am rather attractive,” he replied with pride. It hurt Clint to find the words almost hollow. The faint blip of confidence was overshadowed by a deeper and much heavier emotion that signalled he still had some work ahead of him. Clint pressed his mouth to Loki’s throat and kissed up it slowly; one hand sliding around to cup his face for a few kisses before tangling into his hair. The god shivered and sighed as he turned his body toward the archer.

“Mmm,” Clint hummed and licked the pale neck as though it were a treat. “On second thought, torture seems to taste _really_ good.”

“Does it?” he breathed and ran his hands up Clint’s sides, pulling him closer. “I’m not sure if I’m fully convinced yet,” he challenged against Barton’s ear.

“Oh so this is a game?” he chuckled and turned them so that he was straddling Loki’s waist. “Alright, you wanna play?”

“Does my prize include you naked?” he asked with shy allure.

“Only if you win,” he smirked wickedly and began rolling his hips into the god’s. “Name a rule.”

 _We can only speak through the bond?_ Loki suggested a little uncertainly.

_Deal. My rule is that you can’t say ‘yes’ unless you are answering a question. Go._

_We can’t curse._ He said a little more confidently.

Clint made a face as he realised how much of a disadvantage that would be to him. He gave in anyways. _Fine,_ he sighed a little before quickly adding, _then we can’t invoke any deities or higher powers or whatever._

Lokichewed on his lower lip as he thought over what to suggest next. _Whoever breaks a rule has to strip an item of clothing off?_

_Other person’s choice?_

Loki narrowed his eyes and smirked. _Whoever violates a rule has to stay sitting on top._

_Alright, well prepare to change places soon._

_Well if you’re so certain then I suggest whoever is nude first is the one that submits to the other’s will._

_Fine, whoever comes first has to bottom later._

_Kiss me?_ Loki begged, excited by their game.

Clint leaned down and kissed the god. The sweet simple feel of just their soft lips gave away to tongues curiously, yet sensually moving to taste other. He moaned and felt Loki bend his legs up to brace himself against the bed so that he could help grind against him.

“Lo –” he paused and then grimaced. _Shit! I mean…oh screw it!_ He sat up with a huff as Loki snickered under him. The god indicated his top so he took the jacket and shirt he was wearing off and threw them aside unhappily. He didn’t realised how chilly the room was. It made his skin prickle and he shivered a bit.

 _Another rule?_ Loki offered with a cheeky grin.

_What is it?_

_No clothes come off unless someone breaks a rule._

Clint stopped and stared down at him a little dumbfounded. _You mean like if one of us ends up still clothed and the other is completely naked we just fuuuu-do it that way?_

Loki smirked letting that one slide and nodded. _Yes._

Clint shivered again, this time with excitement. _Okay._ He leaned forward and they went back to grinding and kissing each other. Now that Loki had a small unfair advantage, he began exploiting it. He ran his hands along Clint’s body and bent his head to kiss and tease as his chest.

 _Oh…this isn’t! Don’t stop!_ Clint whined as he pressed his hands into the mattress and exposed his chest to the god willingly.

Loki began flicking his tongue over his nipples, his hands moving to tickle along the sides of his ribcage as he turned his head slightly this way and that. When he felt the archer’s sharp inhale he began sucking on one, his teeth scrapping along the goose pimpled skin as he pulled is mouth back to gently blow on it. Clint gritted his teeth and kept himself focused. He wouldn’t lose again. He was going to win. If there was one thing he hated, it was to lose in a game like this. Games with friends and in teams like the other night were different. This was personal and sex was on the line.

It wasn’t long until he realised there was a way to get Loki to slip up. He leaned back forcing the god sit forward if he wanted to continue to press kisses along his chest downward. Loki curled in a little, running his tongue over Clint’s shaking stomach and nipped at it a little harder than he normally would. Barton moaned and let his fingers trail down Loki’s neck slowly with one hand while the other brushed along his sensitive calves.

Loki moaned, his mind accidentally letting out a soft, _Yes…_ He froze for a moment before his head snapped up, his bottom lip dragging along the archer’s skin. He narrowed his eyes at Clint’s innocently smiling face. _Very well…_ he sighed giving in and waited for his punishment.

 _We’ll make it even, your sweater,_ Clint nodded and picked at the god’s thick knitted collar.

Loki put on a worried look to throw Clint off a bit. He was going to be in trouble soon, so he hurried to add another rule. _No more ‘don’t stop’s or ‘more’s._

 _Fine,_ Barton said and got off of him to lay back and wait. There was a smug look on his face as he tucked his arms behind his head. _I don’t care. Now take off your top._

The god knew his next move would cut the archer’s victory off, so he sat up and removed the sweater slowly, making a show of it. The smile upon his lips only grew when he saw Clint’s face fall at the ending results. Loki had, of course, been wearing a black t-shirt under it the entire time. It was a low v-neck one, but it wasn’t what Clint had hoped for and the mage knew that.

 _Man…_ he sighed. _I’ll get you shirtless soon enough,_ he promised.

Loki chuckled and climbed onto his lap, rolling his hips leisurely as he smoothed his hands up the archer’s chest. _Oh Clint!_ He moaned and let his head fall back. He knew how much the archer loved watching the other person’s pleasure build. There wasn’t a better way to get him hard faster or wanting more than to put on a small teasing glimpse of what Clint really did to him and how much he desired him.

Loki used to do it by letting his fingers play over his neck as he pretended to scratch it; or across his lips as they grinned in thought of the fruits of his crazed plans; or sometimes he’d just brush them down the front of his pants, flicking an imaginary piece of dust away. Clint’s hazy blue eyes would darken and he’d lick his lips, trying to force himself to focus on whatever task he was working through, or even the day he was forced to stand perfectly still in the corner while Loki’s magic teased him from afar.

Loki once spent a whole interview with someone just running his left index finger over his right, mimicking the pattern Barton’s tongue would make when he pleased Loki’s member. He could feel Clint watching him; see him shift just out of the corner of his eye; the smell of his sweat as he tried keeping himself composed. He knew what was coming once they were left alone. Loki never even had to say the order; he just leaned back in his seat and made a slow gesture with his long fingers for him to come over. Loki came hard in that desk chair; Clint’s mouth around him, his fingers gripping the god’s thighs; the feel of his soft short hair against Loki’s gentle hands as he lost himself to bliss.

He brushed his thumbs over Barton’s nipples and then sat back running his hands up his body and into his hair as he thought about that moment, making sure he shared every delicious detail. He knew they had to do that again. After all, it had been the archer’s suggestion in the first place.

 _Don’t play dirty,_ Barton warned, yet his hungry gaze betrayed his desires.

Loki grinned and continued to mess his long hair up as he panted and moaned, staring down at the archer. He bit at his fingers gently as he pulled the collar of his shirt down a little with his other hand. _Don’t you want to win?_

 _Oh yes,_ he whispered and gripped Loki’s backside, giving it a squeeze as he arched his hips up to add a little more friction.

_Does not the thought of me bare, and you still partially clothed, turn you on?_

_Yes!_ He groaned squeezing his eyes shut.

_Tell me your desires,_

_Tell me them. What would you do to me?_

_Everything and anything you wanted._

_Tell me._

_Oh god I’d_ – his mind stuttered to a halt. He glared up at the trickster, who was coyly smirking down at him, just as innocently as he had been a few moments before.

 _I do believe I will enjoy the sight of you with your trousers off,_ he chuckled and rolled back to the place he had been before.

 _No mercy,_ Clint promised and quickly took his pants off. He climbed back onto the god and started moving against him, roughly this time. He leaned forward and centred in on the spot he had claimed as his territory marker on Loki.

The mage moaned and gripped him tightly as Barton sucked the sensitive skin on his throat. Clint wasn’t about to give up. He continued to let his teeth and tongue tease that spot as one hand went to play at Loki’s nipple and the other reached back to just barely touch his calves.

 _Cheater,_ the god whined, his breath hitching. A thrill raced around his body and he brought his legs up and shivered in delight, inadvertently bringing them into the archer’s line of fire.

_Takes one to know one,_

_You wickedly wretchedly delicious creature,_ he hissed and bit back a curse as Clint pulled on the skin with his teeth and then gently blew on it.

 _Give up; you know you want to get pounded,_ he pressed, trying to intimidate him instead.

 _I know I very much desire to be deep inside of your tight hole,_ he replied back just as cheekily.

_Would you show me no mercy?_

_Yes, oh yes, there would be none._

He moved to kiss the god again, his foot brushing at Loki’s pale ankle, and that was when the next mistake happened. Loki’s tiny _Oh Norns!_ as he bit his lip was barely audible, yet Clint stopped moving the moment he heard it. The god covered his mouth with his hand and growled frustrated.

Clint laughed and sat up. _HA! Underwear! Now!_

 _Not my pants?_ He frowned confused.

 _No, underwear._ He snickered as he moved toward the centre of the bed.

Loki rolled onto his hands and knees and crawled toward him slowly, as if he were stalking some prey. He climbed into Clint’s lap and reached into his pants, cupping himself with a moan. His eyes never left the archer’s as he gently rubbed himself and used his magic to remove the undergarment with ease. With a slowly spreading smirk, he pulled it up, millimetre by millimetre and dropped the intact dark underpants onto Clint’s chest. _Satisfied?_

He smiled and picked them up to wrap around his hand. He set both of his hands upon Loki’s pelvic area. He could feel the god’s member already fairly firm from the excitement of the game and them rubbing against one another. Clint smirked and began gently running his fingers over it through the black fabric. _Are you ready for your shirt next?_

Loki swallowed. _Are you certain I’ll lose next?_

_You will._

_We shall see,_

_We shall indeed._ He promised and moved his hands to grip at the god’s thighs.

Loki sighed and fell forward, catching himself on his hands, as he rolled his body and fisted the sheets on either side of Clint’s head. The archer gripped and massaged his upper thighs, shifting under him in the same fashion. Damn if he could win, he’d take him just like this. He knew Loki would never hear of letting Clint in him when they were facing each other, but he wasn’t going to stop himself from trying.

He felt a flash of something from the other end of the bond. He sensed it was Loki thinking of how to celebrate his victory, in explicit detail, and it seemed he wasn’t trying to hide it any longer.

Well two could play that game. Clint began thinking of other ways to take Loki. He’d have him with his head hanging over the side, his legs closed to make him a bit tighter and to keep his member trapped into the mattress. He was going to pound him good and he was going to try and prolong it. Make his victory last. Get him closer to the brink and then knock him off before he could get off. He wanted this double victory and he was going to get it.

His thoughts were interrupted when Loki pushed his counter-thoughts into the spotlight. In them, Clint looked a wreck: face and shoulders flushed, breath way out of control, hands tied over his head, blindfold over his eyes as Loki rammed him good. He had even added a bonus touch of fucking him in a hammock set up out on their small balcony, the archer on his back and Loki’s legs on either side of it for better control. It made Clint swallow and his member harden more. If he could win the first, he wanted to lose the second to that.

“When we – oh…” _craaaap!_ Clint stopped moving and slammed his head back into the pillow, angry with himself. Not talking out loud was a hard thing. It didn’t seem it, but when he had more important things on his mind, like having crazy hot kinky sex in a hammock, then this one simple thing became twenty times harder.

 _Yes!_ The god hissed.

 _Ha!_ He pointed toward him, the hope of victory flourishing with him. _Off with your shirt!_

_I beg your pardon?_

_You heard me._

_I do believe it was_ I _who won this round._ He said with an air that suggested he didn’t appreciate whatever Clint was trying to pull.

_You said the y-word without a question to prompt it._

Loki stared at him in disbelief and sat up. _Are you making a jest?_

 _I can’t believe this!_ He sighed and whipped off his shirt. He threw it in Clint’s face. _Don’t forget to remove your Midgardian loincloth._

_Oh come on! That’s my last line of defence!_

_I was going to be kind and demand your socks, yet you forced my hand to call the difficult choice._

_Difficult my ass!_ There was a pause the Clint wanted to punch himself in the face. Instead, he let slip an _Oh shit!_ He sighed frustrated: _FUCK! Ah fuck. Fuuuuck!_ He let his arms and legs flop down defeated. He lost! How could he be so – gah! He lost!

 _I don’t know what you intend to remove now that you’ve run out of clothing pieces,_ Loki smirked and shifted back a bit to allow himself room to let his fingers play with the light patch of hair under Clint’s navel. He let them slide down just below the band of the archer’s pants.

“I surrender,” he sighed and held up his hands to push Loki off of him so that he could remove the last of his clothes. “I’ll ride you.”

“What makes you think I won’t take you against a wall or on the floor?” he demanded, pushing the archer back down.

“Violate a rule, stay on top? Does that ring a bell? _You_ made that rule.”

“I said ‘sitting’ on top,”

“Well looks like we should switch places,” he replied and pressed at him to move again.

“I followed it up by stating whoever ended up nude first was the one to ‘submit’ to the other,” Loki raised an eyebrow and gave him a look that said Clint should know what he meant.

“I _am_ submitting my ass for a pounding,” he sighed again. “I need to get my ass bare before I can get it though.”

“I did not just specify your round beautifully sculpted ass,” Loki deviously teased leaning forward and kissed Clint’s pouty and unhappily lips. “I meant submit in every sense of the word.”

“Like mind-control sex?” he asked as the thought peaked his interest.

There was a flash of something from Loki’s end, yet he could not fully sense what it was. “Like mind-control sex,” Loki covered whatever that feeling had been up with a laugh as he pulled away.

The archer sat up a bit, “Fine, have your way with me.”

“I intend to,” he said in a very controlled manner and moved to let Clint sit up all of the way.

“You won’t win the other half.”

“We shall see,” he chuckled and leaned back against the pillows, his arms resting on the firmer wall part of the bed as he stretched his legs out before him.

“What do you want me to do?” Barton asked as he tossed all of his clothing, and the things Loki had given him, away.

Loki made a noise of appreciation as he looked him over. “I think we’ll start off with the basics?” He took a breath, drawing forth his best arrogantly commanding royal persona. He gave himself a moment before he snapped his eyes to Clint’s, “On your knees.”

The words rolled from Loki’s chest in a low earthy tone with just barely a hint of a breathy whisper at the tips of the endings. It caressed Clint’s senses in such a melodic way that it made all of the hair on his body stand on edge in euphoric wonder. “Oh I’ve missed those words,” he shivered and quickly moved to comply with the god’s wishes.

“How do you address your sovereign?” he airily inquired with a brow delicately raised.

“My king…” he said crawling toward him. “My master…” he begged climbing over his legs. “My… _Loki_ ,” he breathed the last word and looked up at him from where he was bending forward on hands and knees just shy of being in his lap; a dark and mischievous look about his face. He saw the god try to supress a small shutter. “How may I be of service to you?”

“Come closer and I shall explain,” he uttered and watched as the archer moved with great stealth and grace the rest of the way into his lap. He rested his hands upon Clint’s bare thighs; the satisfaction that his pants would be rubbing that creamy flesh pink soon was a delicious thought. The archer’s hole being stretched and his member flushed from arousal were also very delectable images that his body hungered for. He grabbed Clint by his chin and tilted his head, brushing his fingers along his throat slowly as he looked the archer’s features over. He finally whispered, “Worship me well.”

Clint smirked and began to do as Loki commanded. He kissed along his chin and down his neck; he flicked his tongue and nipped at the god’s collar bone; sucked and teased his nipples to granite hard again; mouthed and moaned down his body; let his hands wander and his nails scrape along the places he knew tickled the god; and over all made an effort to put on as sensual of a show as possible.

Loki watched silently as he felt his body rouse with need. It was different in a much more private and personal way than the other times Clint had done these actions to him. Worshiping had been a faster process, not any less sexual or arousing, but it was quick and more about power play than what was happening now. Now it was him giving himself over to Clint and trusting he would be treated well; which is just what the archer was and had always been doing.

It made him feel vulnerable. It made him feel bad. Worse than that! He felt completely and downright horrid. He put his hands up to stop the archer, who was just about to start to work on teasing him through his pants.

“What?” Clint said moving up quickly. He could feel that something was wrong, but he couldn’t figure out what it was.

“I…I don’t…” Loki closed his mouth and looked away. “I…I want you to want this.”

“I do,”

“Not because I want you to, but because…” he licked his lips and wiped his mouth as he tried thinking of what to say.

“Loki,” Clint frowned concerned and leaned up to touch his face gently. “What is it?”

“Nothing, I…I was…it is nothing…”

He knew he wasn’t going to get anything out of him now and that if he pressed the issue at that moment it’d only end in disaster, so he only nodded and shifted back down. “Do you st–”

“Yes,” he said shortly and put a hand over his eyes, his thumb and middle fingers gently rubbing at his temples.

Again, Clint knew better than to push it. Whatever was bothering the god couldn’t be solved until Loki felt he was ready to talk about it. Barton settled between Loki’s legs and let his fingers trace down the god’s clothed length slowly. He watched as Loki tensed and swallowed before forcing himself to relax. He still wouldn’t look at him, but Clint never found that a make or break for sex. He took his tongue and dragged it up Loki’s hard member; the fabric colour changing under the heat and wetness of his saliva.

Loki’s fingers twitched and he brought a leg up. Clint did it again and the god closed his eyes with a sigh. He continued to tease him through the fabric, gentle with his teeth and rubbing, trying not to over stimulate or chafe him. When Loki’s member was straining against his pants, Clint used his teeth to drag the zipper down and worked his mouth and tongue inside the hole.

Loki moaned and shifted; the archer’s hot breath on his erection and his hands holding onto his waist firmly made his body flash and spike with heat. It made his scalp prickle and his heart speed up as well. He could feel his tongue working and teasing at his member, his hand coming to help him coax his length out from the confines of his pants and into his mouth.

He groaned and let his hand drop from his face as Clint slowly swallowed him down. He chanced a look and found him staring up at him, his eyes darker and hungry. He swallowed and moved his hips up a little to indicate his wishes and Clint began bobbing his head at a sluggish pace. They moved together to help ensure more pleasure for Loki and that Clint wouldn’t choke when the god moved up, pushing further into his mouth as his needs progressed.

Barton moaned around Loki and let his member slip out of his mouth and up the side of his face as he moved his head down to suck at his base. Loki continued to roll his hips up at the insisting push from Clint’s hand on his backside. The archer licked and sucked around his member; his mouth, chin, hand, and one cheek wet from his saliva and Loki’s pre-cum. He moved his mouth down and licked at the god’s still trapped sac, gently rubbing and sucking at it; the taste of him and the fabric mixing together.

“Clint, touch yourself,” Loki instructed in a soft breathy tone.

He reached between his legs with his left hand and started rubbing and stroking himself. As he licked up the god’s length, he looked up at him invitingly with a spark of a challenge. Loki hadn’t forgotten his promised threat and was very aware of what he was trying to achieve. Unfortunately, for him, Loki had incredible control of his body and long ago learned the difference between orgasm and climax. He wasn’t about to cue the archer in on that secret though, in fact he decided he would use it to win the second game.

Loki let Clint keep on with his plan and played along. He let his head drop back and moaned, shifting a little as he ran his fingers through his hair. He let his mouth fall open and rolled his hips with a gasp when Clint licked up the underside and then began only sucking his head. Loki looked down at him and watched as the archer unbuttoned his pants and pulled them down a little so that he could deep throat him without worrying about the zipper scratching at his face.

He rolled his hips up and threaded his fingers through Clint’s hair, teasing behind his ear and along his hairline. The archer moaned and gave it his all, pushing at Loki’s backside to get him to move his hips faster as he continued to stroke himself. Loki did, and felt the need to let go come upon him quickly. He threw his head back and gave a small cry, tightening up all of his muscles and held firmly as his body muddled through the halved act.

Clint pulled his head back and opened his mouth, stroking along Loki’s length prepared for his cum; however, after several seconds he realised Loki was still tense and nothing had…

“What did you do?” he angrily demanded up at him. Loki moaned and stopped Clint’s hand from moving, his member super sensitive. He was still too close from the edge and needed to calm a bit before he really did lose it. Clint rose onto his knees and frowned down at him. “Are you using magic to cheat?”

“No,” he sighed and carefully relaxed. “Self-control…”

“You just – but – and,” he sputtered confused. “Is this an immortal thing only? Because that’s technically cheating.”

“No, cheating is distasteful,” he sighed and licked his lips.

“Then what you just did is impossible,”

“I just did it, therefore it is not.”

“Did you fake it?” he bit his lip nervously.

“I didn’t,” he assured holding out his hands for Clint to take.

He took them, still confused. “Then why didn’t you cum?”

He smirked and changed their position, moving closer into Clint’s personal space so that the archer would feel compelled to lay flat on his back all on his own. “You have shared a night or two with a female, yes?”

“Yeah,” he said slowly, wondering where the hell such a question would lead.

“I assume you have given her great pleasure, yes?”

“Yeah,” he smirked proudly pleased as he thought back to certain occasions. He frowned suddenly, “What does that –”

“How many have fully came for you?” he said kissing down the archer’s body.

He realised what the hell he was talking about now. He couldn’t believe it, but if anyone could do it, it would be Loki. “Are you saying that you are capable of multiple orgasms without cuming?”

Loki grinned and licked up Clint’s member. The archer wanted to moan loudly with need, but he also wanted to slap himself upside the head with a curse for being so…whatever he was being. Instead of doing either, he let a strangled whimper came out, and his hands found the sheets and some of the mattress above him.

“Fucking God of Tricks!” he hissed, causing Loki to laugh. He gently sucked along his length as he summoned the spell to his fingers and began teasing him opened. It wasn’t fair, but it was. Technically and not really it was and wasn’t. Clint still didn’t even want to believe such a thing possible, however, looking back on things it did explain a lot. Especially France.

“Help me,” Loki whispered and kissed Clint’s inner thigh. The archer’s hand shot down and he began rubbing along his hole to help relax his muscles. Loki kissed his hand and easily pushed two fingers in. Barton swallowed and squeezed his eyes shut as another thought dawned on him…he was going to lose the second round. Half of it bothered him and the other half kept thinking about how great Loki being inside of him felt. He rationalised that losing these two small games where nothing. If anything, he was getting the better end of the stick. And this, for sure, wouldn’t be the only game they’d play. There were other chances, and it thrilled him to no end with all of the possibilities.

Loki’s hot tongue swiped up his length and then down the side of Barton’s hand, causing him to shutter. The god’s fingers went deeper and Clint kept gently rubbing in slow circles, rising off the bed a little when Loki came very close to touching his prostate. The god used his free hand to lightly trace up Clint’s shaking thigh. He sighed as he kissed and licked along Clint’s erection and slid his hand around the archer’s knee to hold, gently drawing his fingers up the side of it, one at a time. Clint moaned as he body jerked a bit, his hand reaching out to hold Loki’s. He loosely tangled their fingers so that Loki could continue the action if he so choosed, and was pleased when he did.

Loki got another finger in and started spreading them opened wide as he drew them out. He pushed them together and back into Clint. He spread them opened, repeating the process and increased the speed with each couple of rounds.

Clint was going to lose it. He had felt his normal control break and fall to pieces the moment Loki had swapped their places. He felt Loki’s tongue slide along his erection and hand again and he let out a gasp which faded into a whimper. He pulled at the god’s hands a little, silently begging for the god to move onto the next part.

Loki made him suffer a minute more before pulling back and held out his hand, helping Clint to sit up. He pushed him to turn a little roughly, and the archer hurried to get on hands and knees. He was nearly shaking with excitement. Loki smirked and repositioned him. He gently pulled at Clint’s leg, dragging him back toward the centre of the bed a little. The archer landed flat on his stomach, his chin, chest, and thighs pressed into the mattress; his arms out in front of him; and Loki’s hands smoothing down his bent calves.

He moaned as the god knelt in between his legs and tilted his hips up a tiny bit. Loki stroked himself gingerly and then positioned himself, pushing a little and then rested his entire body flush against the archers. Clint groaned loudly as Loki slid in; his muscles pulling the god in deeper as they relaxed.

Loki bit back a moan and reached up to take a hold of Clint’s hands. He gave them a supportive and questioning squeeze. Clint squeezed them back and the god began moving his hips. He rolled them with gentle care; the goal at that moment was to bring pleasure and not completion. The feel of Barton’s hot skin under him, against his chest, along his arms, around his hands, and even through his pants, was utterly blissful.

Clint brought their arms to bend up around their heads, their fingers moving to tangle better together, and he rubbed his thumbs along the god’s thumb, pushing his hips up against Loki’s. The god brought his down and began moving a little faster. The sound of Clint’s moans sent electric shivers through him. He pressed his lips along the side of the archer’s face slowly, his hips speeding up a little more with every few kisses.

He waited until Barton was giving small cries before he changed their position. He paused for a moment, ignoring Clint’s high-whines of protest, and carefully set his legs on either side of the archer’s, giving them a small nudge to indicate he wanted them closed.

The archer complied and groaned in thankful prayer as he closed his eyes. “Are you using my fantasy against me?” he panted softly.

“Yes,” Loki chuckled and started moving again. He felt Clint’s feet bump along his thighs and backside as he lengthened his thrusts and started rocking him into the mattress harder. The bed started to shake, the spring mechanisms underneaths popped and groaned a little too loudly. It felt as though they were in the back of that truck again. The one they used to get across the European borders. The last few moves had involved a quick and satisfying encounter in the back, Loki’s magic covering what they were doing. The mind enslaved and new recruits thought they were staring at Loki and Clint’s backs as they talked and planed together over a map. Behind the mirage was Loki fucking Clint into the truck floor, rough and loud.

Clint moaned as he remembered the last time they had done that. It had involved a lot of verbal usage, probably the most sex talk the archer had ever used in his life. He had been so embarrassed over the fact that he could still see the men just sitting there in black, holding guns, ready for action, completely clueless as they waited for orders.

_“They can’t hear you…” Loki panted hotly in his ear. “No matter how loud you moan my name.” Clint choked out an incoherent sound as pleasure exploded through him. “What was that?” he teased and slowed his motions._

_“Y-yes!” Clint gasped and sputtered something that sounded as though it had a “k” in it._

_“What did you call me?”_

_“My king,” he moaned at last._

_“What is my real name?” Clint tried but couldn’t make a coherent sound. “Say my name,” Loki hissed and gave a hard thrust._

_“Master!” he moaned a little louder._

_“_ My _name!” he yelled. “Say._ My _. Name,” he said with a little more force as he began moving faster._

_“Loki!” Clint gasped and then gave a loud shout as the god aimed and struck at his prostate. “Ah! YES! Loki!” he squirmed under him a bit and begged for more._

Clint moaned and squeezed his eyes shut as the memory quickly faded. He felt Loki’s mouth near his ear and his body tensed in hopeful anticipation.

“Say my name,” he hissed, a light playfulness to his tone.

“Loki,” he mumbled with a lazy smirk.

“Say my name,” he chortled.

“Loki,” Clint moaned and curled his toes as he felt his member brush against where he needed him most.

The god gently untangled their fingers and braced himself against the sheets as he threw his weight into his thrusts; using the momentum and the bounce of the bed to intensify his actions. “Say! My! Name!” he grunted in a flourishing gusto with each thrust down.

Clint let a cry of excited sexual joy out and then shouted: “LOKI!” over and over again.

The god made a satisfied throaty sound and kept up his pace, changing the angle only slightly. The archer groaned and tried shifting under him for more. He kept up his chanting of the god’s name, along with several “yes”s and surprised shouts and moans. His hands reached out above him to grip the bed and pulled at the sheets, his muscles tensing up as their minds flared out wildly to connect, his body overly stimulated to the point where he knew he couldn’t last even if he desperately tried.

“Loki!” he gasped. “Please!”

“No,” he moaned and held on a little longer, even though it ached to.

Clint groaned and huffed slightly annoyed as he rushed out, “is this about the second –”

“Yes!” he gasped stubbornly.

“I surrender to that too…” he whined and pushed his hips up a little more, one hand moving right next to his face so that he could brace himself and push his lower half up. “You win!” he panted and squirmed a bit. “You win, just please! Please connect!”

Loki knew he was being sincere, so he gave in. They cried out as their erection pushed into their tight hole; the scrape of the zipper and the rubbing of the fabric against their skin made shivers run along their bodies; the feel of their long overdue finish pulling and pulling at their nerves, spiralling up their bodies and then finally shooting down and bursting along their limbs and across their mind.

They both gave out loud shouts and fell forward, Loki holding himself up on a shaky arms, and Clint moaning into the mattress, pulling the sheets to him, trying to bury his face and his noises of bliss.

He shuttered and his muscles tensed, pushing Loki’s now softened member out as well as some of the lubrication and his seed. The god swallowed and slowly began moving to get up. Clint reached a hand behind and stopped him.

“Stay…please…” he whispered still trying to find air to fill his lungs.

“I’ll crush you,” he warned.

“I want the weight…”

Loki nodded and carefully lowered himself, tucking his arms around Clint and rested his body down. They shifted around a little until they found a more comfortable way for them to lie as such. When they finally reached a comfortable compromise Clint sighed deeply and felt Loki nuzzle his face into his shoulder.

“So you want to take a few and then claim that second win later?”

Loki chuckled a bit and mumbled, “Absolutely.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Sex was sparked from several anonymous tumblr prompts which happened all at once:** _“Say my name”. Clint goes from ‘king’, to ‘master’, to ‘Loki’." "please do a delayed bond connection!!!" "Can they do a silly short sex game soon? (waggy eyebrows)"_. To be honest I had planned to do this stuff at one point or another, but I never thought about them being put together until I woke up a few weeks ago with BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! anon ideas. 
> 
> I'm pleased with the ending result. So are Clint and Loki ;D.  
> I hope you are too. Please have a magnificent week!


	33. Chapter 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All mistakes are my own and I'm always sorry for them! I'm crap at grammar.  
> Please enjoy the chapter!!!

\----------------------33----------------------

“How are you?” Sam asked as he entered the small medical room Hill had been taken too.

“Fine, now that I’ve stopped bleeding and the pain has gone away,” she sighed and sat up a bit with a wince.

“The council is interested in knowing if you are still able to perform your duties,”

“What did you tell them?”

He smiled and nodded his head. “I said you were ready to march to Washington but the doctors ordered you to rest for at least a day. They said you have two before they vote.”

“Great,” she huffed and relaxed back into the bed. “What else?”

“110 responded with ‘All’s well that ends well’, and there is still no word back from Cheese or Ham.”

“Do we have a last location for either?”

“Nothing for Ham but about two weeks ago there was a surveillance video of Cheese. Oklahoma.”

“Foster,” she whispered, “Anything linking the two?”

“Nothing yet.”

She nodded. “Alright, if there is nothing else, then that is all.”

“Actually,” he said and hesitated a moment. “There is something. I haven’t told anyone yet and those that know have been ordered to keep it quiet for now. The council will find out soon though.”

“What is it?”

“It’s the…Avengers,” he whispered and took a step closer to her bed. “They’ve come out of hiding. They’re in New York.”

She squeezed her eyes shut and bit back a curse. “Please tell me they’ve been living in the subway.”

“No…Stark’s Tower.”

“Oh fuck!” she hissed. “Tony you _idiot_!”

“They came out yesterday. Loki was with them. There are pictures and videos already on every news station and fan website.”

Hill rubbed at her forehead. “This is going to get messy.”

“It hasn’t been already?”

She sighed, “no…not compared to what it will be soon.”

“Should I send something out?”

“No, we have no orders at the moment. If the council hasn’t said anything yet, then they either don’t know or are waiting for me to act. I can’t just barge in and arrest them all; Stark will blow the media up with that and put a black stain upon us. I need time to work out what to do.”

“Well take a few hours to rest first.”

She nodded, “Oh I will. You do the same. I don’t think we’ll have it easy the next few days.”

\-------------------------------------------------

Loki rolled over and slipped his arm around Clint, pressing his lips to his shoulder for a few moments before resting his chin on his shoulder. “How are you feeling?”

“A feeling…” he sighed and rubbed at his face. He had woken from another nightmare, one he hadn’t had in a very long time. He felt Loki stir not long after he had come silently terrified back to reality: his body giving a small jerk, his lungs working in overdrive, his heart pounding in fear. He was thankful that his love had given him some time to calm down before touching him. If Loki would have tried comforting him when he had awakened, Clint was sure he would have either flipped him across the room or bolted to the roof.

“Do you wish to speak of it?”

“No,” he sighed and stretched a bit. “Not now…I…I can’t.”

“As you wish,” he whispered and kissed his shoulder once more. “What may I do to help?”

“Nothing,” he rolled onto his back and looked up at him, reaching out to trace the god’s lips with his two fingertips. “Just be yourself?”

“I shall try,” he promised and kissed the tips of his fingers gently. He caught up Barton’s hand and pressed his lips softly to his palm and wrist.

“If you give me a few minutes, you can cash in your other win,”

“I do not desire to subject you to any further stress,” he replied watching him with a faint smile upon his lips as he continued to kiss every inch of his hand slowly. “I am content with just lying in bed with you. It is victory enough to know that you are mine and I am yours.”

“You’re so…romantic, it’s a bit…unsettling and wonderful,” he breathed and cupped the god’s face, bringing him down for a small kiss.

After they had parted Loki laid back and waited until Clint had repositioned himself next to him before wrapping him in his arms and soothingly played his fingers along the archer’s bare back. Barton held him close and pressed his face into his chest, curling his legs up a bit.

“Are you comfortable?” the god asked.

“Yes,” he nodded.

Loki smoothed Barton’s hair and set his cheek on the archer’s head. “Would a story help?”

He shrugged. “We can try…”

The god took a few minutes to think before his lips twitched into a smirk. He leaned his mouth to the archer’s ear and whispered, “I was nine hundred and twelve. I had just learned a spell on how to levitate medium weight objects. Thor had bothered me all day; he wanted me to do something that I was very uninterested in; so I decided to levitate anything he touched.”

“How did that go?”

“Well I couldn’t lift the chair, yet I did have a hard time trying to explain to mother how he ended up on the ceiling without giving myself away.” Clint laughed. It made Loki’s heart lighten a bit so he tried for another. “Thor is allergic to only one thing: a flower that grows only in the palace gardens and is native toVanaheim. It is small, blood red with a black interior, and a blue stem and leaves. It smells sweet to those who are kind of heart. Sif was angry with him. She took the flowers and put them in with his night clothes.”

“Oh no,”

“Yes. He had red bumps on him for weeks,” Loki laughed a little. “There was an ambassador from Niðavelli, and it is considered rude to itch yourself in the royal hall. It was then we found why Thor had tried faking sickness to get out of being there. He was sweating and shifting the whole time until finally he suddenly gave a small yelp and began scratching all over. Odin was furious, yet Hornbori laughed and thought it great fun to watch him stammer apologises as he fiercely indulged in trying to relive the irritation. Sif was never punished for it.”

“Why not?”

“Because I was the only one to see her do it and I did not wish to incur her wrath.”

“If you’re careful around her I wouldn’t want to cross Sif’s path either,”

“She is easy enough to manage if you play on the same level, yet you must always keep your wits about you,”

“Natasha level?”

“No, Sif is far more emotional and loses her temper rather easily. Natasha has proven she is level-headed and secure with her abilities, yet Sif constantly doubts herself and covers it up with her pride.”

“You sound as though you don’t very much like her,”

“There is truth in your statement,” he sighed heavily. “She has caused me much grief over the years.”

“And you’ve caused her some as well?”

“Oh yes,” he smiled.

“Tell me,” he shifted a bit lifting his head to set a little higher on the god’s chest and traced a finger along Loki’s collarbone.

“I cut her hair off,”

“Oh god, this is going to be good,” he chuckled; Loki joining him as he began his tale.

They spent the rest of the afternoon lying in bed. Loki told him small stories about his upbringing; his mother; embarrassing ones about Thor; a few about himself; and a little about a woman, Clint had to admit he was starting to become a little jealous over. Loki teased him a bit about it, until the archer’s mood turned sour.

“Yeah, great,” he said bitterly and sat up moving away from Loki.

“Clinton?” he frowned and then realised why he was acting as such. “I went too far, didn’t I?” he asked softly, guilt and a trace of rejection in his voice.

“No, it’s great that there is a beautiful woman you’ve known most of your life just sitting back on some strange planet, pinning away for you, ready to drop her whole life and follow you blindly.”

“Well if I wanted her, or that sort of life, I wouldn’t have made the choices I did and ended up here with you,” he shot back and then wished he hadn’t been so cruel with his tone or words.

Clint stopped to glare back at him. “You make that sound like a regret.”

Loki gave a small sigh as he realised this was going nowhere. “What you are feeling is what I felt earlier. With the lady at the market.”

Barton turned his face away. “Not really.”

“How is this different?”

“I didn’t know her, you know this Sea-jenny-bin well.”

“So _that_ makes a difference?”

“Yes! You could one day turn around a suddenly see Seem-gain, and think, ‘oh yeah, gotta get me some of that’!”

“Her name is _Sigyn_ and she has _never_ been, nor will she _ever_ be, a threat to our relationship. I promise,” he gave a small huff as if the thought had been exhausted long before it became one of Clint’s tiny insecurities.

“You know I grew up on stories,” Clint whispered softly. “I know every version of any myth out there…there are a lot that would say otherwise.”

“Yes, Stark informed me of this the other morning,” he replied a bit unhappily and then sat up, moving close to the archer. “There are many other things that myths hold which are also untrue, yet I assure you, there is no one I desire more than you, Clinton Barton.”

“Even if there wasn’t this bond?” he muttered darkly under his breath as he went to rise.

Loki caught his wrist and gently pulled him back down. “Yes…” he whispered and turned Clint’s face to look at him. “I swear this bond is not what keeps me in need of you. . I…I knew from the moment I laid eyes upon you that there would be no other in my life.”

Clint felt that flicker again. It was easier to pinpoint the emotional origin this time. Love, trust, need, truth, loss… He still didn’t understand why the god associated their love with such a great sense of sorrow, yet it wasn’t the type of feeling that suggested sadness at being with him. It was…something older…something else. Clint wasn’t going to push for an answer over it all now. Instead, he gave Loki a small kiss. “I honestly stopped being angry the moment I left your side,” he confessed guiltily. “I just wanted to be sure.”

Loki took a grateful breath and then rolled his eyes. “It is fine, considering my earlier sulk.”

“Do you think we rushed into this?”

“No,” he wrapped his arms around Clint’s neck and played with the back of his neck gently. “This is part of a relationship. The jealousies, the compromises, the fights, the laughter, accepting what the other brings with them…”

“I’m not very skilled with this sort of thing,”

“Neither am I,”

“I’ve only ever had one that could be considered a safe or decent example of an alright attempt at one,” he shrugged and scratched at his head, feeling a little stupid for having said such a thing out loud.

Loki thought it cute and gave a small smile as he brushed some of Clint’s hair, which was now just long enough to fall onto his brow, aside. “We’ll manage.”

“Try or die, right?”

“That is a way of phrasing it.”

“Speaking of dying, I’m starving!”

Loki laughed. “There is what we had for evening meal in the fridge.”

“YES!” he shouted and jumped up, going to where his pants where and bent to pick them up. They vanished in a small puff of grey smoke. “Hey!”

“I don’t think you’ll be needing those,” Loki said with an air of confidence in a way that suggested he was going to get whatever he desired regardless of Clint’s feelings.

“What if someone comes in?”

Loki shrugged unconcerned. “They come in. These are our rooms, this is our space, we should have no shame for what we do here. It is they who are the guests and must put up with how we choose to behave.”

“Uh, things are little different here on Earth,”

“As I have said before,” Loki replied crawling to the edge were Clint was standing turned sideways from him. He put his hands on the archer’s body, running them along his skin slowly as he pressed his lips to his hip, “it is a crime to clothe your perfect body.” He looked up at him as he dragged his tongue up and then began kissing his side admiringly.

Clint shivered as he stared down at him. Loki had one hand splayed across his stomach, the other at the very base of his back gently tracing just over the curve of his backside. He swallowed and brushed his fingers through Loki’s hair, moving it back to see his face better. “Wanna claim your victory now? I have a feeling that if I stuff myself full of Chinese and then let you stuff me I’m going to upchuck.”

“Or you could eat while I… _stuff_ you,” he offered, his voice growing dark and low in a playful manner. He nipped at the skin gently and then returned to kissing it.

“I might choke,”

“Yes…trying to swallow chicken around my impressive cock would cause one to do such a thing,”

“Oh you just had to start talking dirty,” he moaned and turned fully to face him. Loki moved with fluid grace to lay back as Clint climbed up onto the bed and into his lap.

“I know how greatly you enjoy it,” he laughed as the archer kissed him.

“Yeah? Well I know you like taking your time, but could you hurry this one? My stomach is going to eat me.”

Loki chuckled and let the spell work over his fingers as he moved them down, touching gently at the still lose and, from Clint’s intake of breath, tender hole. He slipped a finger easily in and began teasing him; rotating it around the muscles that were trying to clamp down, but to no effect, on him. He pushed a second in and hooked them, catching just at the edge of Clint’s core. Barton gave a small exhale of breath and then groaned, burying his face into Loki’s throat as a shiver zigzagged up his spine.

He smiled and added in a third and began pumping them in and out, pushing at Clint to sit up so that he could ride them properly. The archer moaned and rolled his hips, giving a good show as he moved up and down on the three long digits. Loki opened them, aiming the tips of his fingers to press or land on the area around his prostate.

“Ah!” he fell backward in shock, barely holding himself up on Loki’s bent knees. “Yes! There!”

“There?” he teased and struck at his core once.

“Uh!” he huffed as his limbs started shaking, his head falling back. Loki took his member in hand and began slowly stroking it. Clint let out a mix between a growl and a sharp exhale of air. He squeezed his eyes shut and focused on his breathing, on the feeling of this quick arousal that overwhelmed and surprised him. The god moved his fingers again, just enough to change the affect, yet not enough to give him the satisfaction he craved. “Loki!” he whined, all puffs of breath and begging in a way that Loki knew he wouldn’t last long.

“Hmmmm, you’re so delicious to watch fall apart,” he purred and began pumping Clint’s member faster, sending a little magic to add lubricant to his palm for more comfort later. He kept his grip firm, yet gentle, and relaxed his wrist.

“AH!” Clint cried out and began making odd vowel noises, his toes curling as the sharp pains of desire tore through him. A faint emotion of lust pooled within his stomach, mixing with the jagged pulses of the ones being produced from his end, literally. It was not only his ruin but his sweet lift off. Half hard; sweat already gathering along his body; fingers teasing this way and that; his hips rocking up and down, slamming them in and out; the sound of Loki’s savoury voice laughing or moaning softly as he watched him; and his hand sliding up and down his shaft was entirely too much to deal with.

“Oh fuck!” Clint gasped as he felt the unexpected approaching train of orgasm rush toward him. This wasn’t how the male anatomy worked. This had to have been magic. He hadn’t came in such a short amount of time in ages. “Fuck! Fuckfuckfuck! YES! AH! AHHHHHLOKI!” he sputtered and fell forward, his hands bracing him up on either side of Loki’s smiling and satisfied face, as he came hard. Each wave accompanied by the god’s fingers landing on his prostate or his hand squeezing along his member to pull his release from him.

Loki closed his eyes for a moment and inhaled, with a little difficulty, as he reigned in his connection from Clint’s. He slowed his motions, watching Clint’s face carefully as he took him from one phase to the next. When he was sure there was no more pleasure left in those actions, he stopped and waited. The archer’s muscles were still twitching, he could feel his heart pounding above him, and see the sweat ready to drip from his forehead. He loved the sight of him panting for breath and the feel of his seed still hot on his chest. How could Clint think he ever wanted another to take his place?

“H…h…how…” was all the archer managed to whisper as he shook and shuddered.

He smiled and gave a deep laugh. “Yes…‘how?’ indeed.”

“That…” he licked his lips and forced himself to take a deep breath. “That wasn’t m…magic…was it?”

“No…” he smirked and gathered some of the archer’s cum onto his fingers before he sucked it off, savouring it as though it were a fine dessert, “Just the right pressure points.”

“Oh damn,” he let his arms relax and buried his face into the tricksters shoulder as another aftershock rocked him. He gave a small exhaled “ah!” before his body finally let him melt.

“Are you still hungry?” Loki asked, more in amusement over the reaction he’d get rather than the answer. He knew full well Clint was still hungry and was prone to always being such. The archer could only give a tiny grunt in response to his question, which prompted Loki to start laughing again. “Shall I bring you something in bed?”

“What…about your…pleasure?” he sighed as he slowly felt reality come back to him.

“It would be…unfair of me to use you after your own needs have been fulfilled.”

Clint’s head shot up to look at him confused, “How so?”

The god shrugged. “It seems cruel to tease you in such a manner.”

“Are you telling me you’ve never let a guy finish himself off with you, after you’ve cum?”

“No…”

It was a lie, however it wasn’t in the way Clint was asking about. “Not even if it was you doing the finishing off on someone post-orgasm?”

“Not even then. I’ve either finished near the same time he has or on my own afterward.” Clint knew that much was true.

“What about women?”

Loki rolled his eyes. “Women are different. I was raised a prince and a gentleman. A true gentleman always lets his lady indulge first.”

“Not the case with men?” he teased.

“How many times have I made you spill seed before releasing my own?”

“Alright,” he held up a hand and laughed. “I surrender there. Thank you for taking care of my womanly needs.” He laughed and sat up, moving back so that he was sitting on Loki’s, now lowered, legs. “But I want you to surrender here.”

“Clint,” he said in warning, as though it wasn’t fair or that he would be causing disgrace to the archer in some form or another.

“Try it? If you don’t like it, we won’t have to do it again, but seriously I’m used to this, and I kind of think it’s a nice…” he shrugged as he thought of the right word, “tease; if the person I’m with is deserving of such,” he added the last part with a roll of his eyes.

Loki relaxed a bit and then nodded. “Very well. Yet if I am uncomfortable you must promise to never force me to do this again.”

Clint made a face accompanied by an inhaled hissing noise. “Let’s not use the word ‘force’. Let’s try ‘never suggest’ or ‘never talk in too doing’ or even ‘never guilt you with puppy-eyes’?”

Loki nodded slowly. “You have my word to never use it again in such a way. Now do I have yours?”

“Yes,” he bent forward and kissed him, reaching between them to take Loki’s half-hard member in hand. He began stroking the god, alternating from slow to fast and then slow with a little twist at the end. He moved his hips up and down and moaned into his mouth, his other hand coming up to tangle tightly into his hair. “I love your hair this long,” he whispered against his opened mouth. “Can you keep it this way?”

“Any way you wish…” he breathed before letting out a soft whimper as heat spread throughout him.

Clint felt, when he pulled on the god’s hair a bit, one of those deep questionable emotions resurface. It was mainly pride. The kind of pride one feels after someone they value very much compliments them; when they see their work in action; their art on display; their play receiving great reviews; the look on a child’s face as they solve something on their own. It was the first time he’d ever said anything to Loki without any negative thoughts or doubts to try and throw it back up. He was ecstatic beyond words. This was one small step, with a giant orgasm as a reward.

He kissed him once more before pulling back. Loki tensed a bit but let his hands rest at Barton’s thighs. He took a deep breath and exhaled as Clint slowly seated himself upon his member, moving his hips in an unhurried circular motion until Loki was fully sheathed. Clint began rolling his hips, letting the god’s member slide in and out, keeping a hold a bit on his muscles to tighten his passage up.

Loki closed his eyes and shifted a bit, his hands clenching at the archer’s thighs as he was left to enjoy his own pleasures. He was not used to being so self-centred. He supposed this was what it must have felt like to be most of his former partners, only without the small bit of guilt that rattled around his head at the moment, but Clint had reassured him that this was alright. He opened his eyes and found the archer looking down, watching him. His mouth was opened slightly and he hand one hand in his hair and the other on one of Loki’s hands.

Clint smiled when he saw that he had noticed and then picked up the pace, giving out sighs and breathy chuckles instead of the usual moans and yelps he did in bed. They were still excited, still lustful and needy, yet these were of a different nature. They were ones that said, “I get my pleasure solely from yours”. His eyes were confident, yet there were still questions deep within them that asked, “Does this please you? Do you want more? What do you desire?”.

Loki swallowed and when the first sound of their skin slapping together from the speed and depth rang out he finally let go. He groaned and squeezed his eyes shut, arching a bit, as he let his head roll to the side, his grip tightened on Barton’s legs, yet he didn’t move anything else. Clint was now riding him hard. The bed shook and the under parts rattled loudly, obviously not tested for or designed by the makers for such vigorous activities from its owners.

Loki kept himself within his own and let it all wash over him. He let his head roll back and forth slowly; his eyes watching the archer’s sensual display occasionally; his back arching a bit and his legs shifted in the sheets, tensing and relaxing as he tried figuring out what he could do with them for more. More. That’s all he wanted. More of that tight heat. More of Clint’s elegant sounds. More of this lack of control. More!

“What was that?” Barton teased him by slowing down a bit.

Loki blushed, not even realising he’d spoken. “More,” he admitted turning his face away.

“I still couldn’t he–”

“Oh bleeding Norns!” he cried frustrated, grabbing the archer’s hips as he roughly turned them over.

Clint excitedly pulled his legs to his chest, only to frown a minute later when Loki relocated them to around his waist. “This is a better–UH!” all of the breath was knocked out of him when Loki snapped his hips forward harshly to push himself in.

The god stared down at him for a moment and then leaned in, “Was there something you were planning on interjecting?”

“Nope,” Clint exhaled with a smile and ran his fingers through his hair to smooth it back from his face as he prepared himself for what was to come. “Nothing.”

“Are you certain?”

“Most.”

“Very well.” He straightened and then showed no mercy. He kept one hand on Clint’s hip and one flat on his chest, his member pumping fiercely in and out, as he pounded him.

Barton just continued his breathy laughs of delight, now tinged with a few soft moans, as he pulled and twisted the sheets around his head. He locked his ankles together and focused on working his muscles to bring the god more pleasure.

It wasn’t long before Loki’s rhythm died. Clint waited until he fumbled twice in a row before he pushed them both over and pinned the god’s hands down on either side of his head. Loki pushed against him a little but couldn’t put up a fight, for at that moment he had reached his point. He crashed over it with a loud cry, his eyes widening a bit before they rolled back into his head, his body squirming and his fingers flexing as Clint finished him off.

The archer road him out until he felt Loki’s lower half relax and then sank fully down on him, moving his hips in slow circles and massaged his member with his muscles. Loki melted into the sheets as he shook and jerked a bit, his eyes closing as bliss carried him off into non-existence. He had never been one the type of person who enjoyed being wrong, and he certainly never enjoyed admitting to it, yet this was one of those moments he was pleased and willing to admit he had been completely wrong.

It took him several minutes to realise that Clint was no longer on top of him. It took him a few more to realise he wasn’t in the room. He slowly shifted and then gave up. Laughter brought his attention to the door and he turned his head to gaze at it. “What?” he meant to snap, yet it only came out as a grateful puff of non-threatening air.

Barton was leaning against the door, bowl of steaming Chinese in hand, chopsticks in the other. He had the back of his hand over his mouth to try and block the food that he was chewing from view. He shook his head and shrugged as he swallowed it. “Nothing…just got a wish.”

“Oh…yes…your chicken,” he sighed and turned his head back to look up at the ceiling.

“No,” he laughed a little harder. “You.” The god gave him another look, this time it was bliss with a smudge of confusion. Clint went and sat on the edge of the bed. “I wanted to see you let go. Like in France, remember? I got it.”

“You did?” he asked sceptically.

“Yes,”

“I’m glad,” he sighed again and looked at the ceiling once more.

“Also Thor and Steve rushed in worried something was wrong. Apparently if you stand in their living room you can hear what goes on here.”

A devious and pleased grin splayed over the trickster’s face. “And you were nude when you received them?”

“Yep.”

“Oh, I am disappointed I missed that,” he breathed and tried imagining it.

“I hope Jarvis got their faces on camera. It was priceless. Buck ass naked in the middle of the kitchen with a bowl of rice and orange chicken, and the two of them in full gear ready to spring into action and then – the _look_!” he had to set his bowl down and hold a hand to his side because he was laughing so hard.

Loki chuckled sleepily and let the archer’s description adjust his imagined scene. He felt Clint’s mind brush against his and he let him in. It was a faint image, yet the slow shock and embarrassment upon the captain’s face was indeed priceless. “He is very handsome when he blushes,” he commented. He felt Clint toss a piece of chicken onto him unhappily, which only caused him to laugh a little more. “Come now, we both know how you feel and even I cannot deny how tempting he looks.”

“Natasha said she wouldn’t share,”

“She is welcome to join.”

“Okay now you’re getting weird,” he made a face holding up his hand to stop him. “She’s like my sister.”

Loki stopped for a moment, his mind becoming private quickly as the words seemed to spark something. A thought. A face. A laugh. Someone he hadn’t thought of in several hundred years. It hurt in dull achy way he wished hadn’t settle so comfortably in his chest. Like an old war wound. It was an old war wound. Not a physical one, but a full blown spiritual and emotional one. It hurt so much more than he thought it would.

“What?” Clint asked as he scooted closer to retrieve the piece of food he’d hurled in jealousy.

“Nothing…I was merely trying to work out a way to make it all fit,” he covered smoothly. Clint knew it was a lie, yet he couldn’t help giving his stomach a small slap in reproach. Loki curled in a little and then let out a full and well-rounded laugh. One Clint hadn’t heard in a very long time.

The archer frowned unsure as to where that thought had come from. He had never seen Loki laugh in such a way, yet something deep inside told him differently. He mentally shrugged it off; it wasn’t the first time he’d had a similar thought with someone else he knew. Maybe it was even something he couldn’t fully remember from his time under the Tesseract’s influence.

“What is the matter now?” Loki inquired, putting his mirth aside in case he’d gone too far again.

Clint shook his head. “Nothing, the thought of how to make it all fit popped into my mind,” he lied.

Loki’s lips twitched a bit sadly. How smoothly they could lie to one another so early in their relationship. “And?” he prompted pretending as though he didn’t know any better.

“She’s still like my sister,” he said stubbornly down at him and then stuffed his face full of food.

Loki laughed again and set his hand upon the archer’s leg, gently tracing his fingers along his skin. “You know, Thor and I grew up as brothers, and although now there is proof we are not of the same blood, there were still times–”

“If you tell me he’s fucked you I’m going to go down there and smash his dick with his own beloved hammer,” Clint warned pointing his chopsticks threateningly at the god.

He shook his head with an amused smile, “no, yet there was this one time –”

“Am I going to get mad?”

“I wouldn’t think so,”

“Jealous?”

Loki thought about it for a moment. “Perhaps.”

“Then I don’t want to hear it,” he turned his face away and popped another crispy and tangy piece of chicken into his mouth.

“Very well,” Loki shrugged, throwing out the bait.

Clint caught it. He turned to him expectantly. Loki stared back and him feigning confusion. “What?”

“What?”

“That’s it?”

“You said you did not wish to hear it.”

“Well now you have to tell me!”

“Are you going to become jealous and pout when you find it not to your liking?”

“Yes,” he pouted and shifted to lie on his back, his head pillowed on the god’s chest. He turned to look up at him and sucked the rice off the ends of the sticks, all cute and innocent.

“Puppy-eyes? Really Clinton?”

“I’m adorable, what can I say?” he smirked with a tiny amused chuckle.

Loki gave an overdramatic sigh and hurriedly confessed, “Fine. There was a night, _many_ years ago, we were both terribly drunk and we took twins to bed.”

“Twin…boys? Girls?”

“female _and_ male,”

“Oh damn!”

“We each took a turn making sport with one and then traded off to the other,”

Clint was silent for a moment as he stared at Loki. He blinked several times before he inhaled. “Part of me wants to be grossed out by that statement, the other part wants to be jealous, and the last part wants to congratulate you both.”

“I feel there is a fourth?”

“Part four is silently praying we meet twins soon.” They both laughed. Clint finished up his food and then set the bowl on the side table before snuggling up next to Loki. “Nap time or bed time?”

“Yes,” he agreed cheekily without specifying which and brought his arm up to rest along Clint’s other side. “I can’t move though,”

“Excellent,” he chuckled and threw a leg over him. “Downside, now we can’t get to the covers…”

Loki snapped his fingers and the bed clothes moved to settle on stop of them. “Better?”

“Much.” He turned his head and kissed his shoulder, “See you in a few hours?”

Loki hummed in agreement, his body and mind already at the gates to sleep. Clint let out another small laugh and then soon followed.

\-------------------------------------------------

“You two look as though you’ve seen something interesting,” Natasha said as she opened the bag of popcorn and dumped it into a giant bowl.

Steve stopped for a moment and then swallowed. “Sure,” he said, his voice a little too high. He cleared his throat and then tried again. “Sure…if you mean something that has probably caused mental scaring.” She paused and looked at him before she started laughing. He flushed and looked away. “It’s not funny.”

“Oh! Oh I wish I was there to see your face!” she doubled over holding her sides. “Did you get a good show or just the aftermath?”

“If you are referring to us walking in on the good archer naked, then most likely it was after,” Thor replied honestly, as he strode into the room.

Steve hit his shoulder and then took a defensive step back, afraid he might have accidentally issued a challenge. “Don’t talk about it. It’s…weird.”

“Everyone has sex Steven, even you,” Natasha teased.

He covered his red face with his hands and turned away from them. “I wish I could drink…” he sighed heavily to himself.

“Hey, what’s going on?” Banner asked coming into the room.

“Steve got a Full Monty view of Clint, post-sex.”

Bruce froze mid-step. He pressed his lips tightly together and then nodded his head slowly. “So that’s Thor, myself, Tony, and now Steve. You and Pepper are next it seems.”

“Eh,” she shrugged and put another bag into the microwave. “I’ve seen them both.”

“What?” Steve shouted from the seat he had taken up on the couch.

“I helped moved Loki into the Helicarrier,” she shrugged as if it was obviously not a big deal. “He was brought to us naked, we had to put him on the bed, the others were all weirded out, because he was an alien and like most of the chicks were drooling over him and dudes were having penis envy, so I tossed a sheet over him and we all left the room.”

“Why didn’t he have clothes?”

“Something about them being burned or torn in an attempt to escape. They weren’t very clear on certain details. He had marks on his side but they were gone within a few hours of us loading him into the carrier.” She popped some of the popcorn into her mouth before adding in a slightly accusing tone as she gestured to them all, “Also, you all act as though I haven’t seen any of you naked. We do all share a shower space in the training rooms. And I sleep with one of you.”

“I’m glad we are such great friends and so close,” Bruce muttered, still a bit uncomfortable, and went to the fridge. Natasha started snickering again as she nibbled on more of the snack food; the looks on Steve and Thor’s face spoke of their uncertain and embarrassed feelings over being reminded of such private things.

“What are the plans for this evening?” Thor asked trying to change the subject. He had seen his brother nude many times; however, there was a reason the male and females warriors of Asgard had separate bathing halls. To be reminded that Natasha was the first female to see him in such a personal and unguarded setting in such a long time made him feel…exposed in a way he didn’t enjoy. He touched his chest were Mjölnir rested to ease his discomfort.

“Movie. You are welcome to watch,” she said.

“What one?” Bruce asked pulling his head out from behind the door.

“Scary one. My turn to pick. Steve’s never seen it.”

“Now…is this normal people scary or Natasha-I’ve-worked-for-S.H.I.E.L.D.-and-stuff scary?”

“I guess first one,” she shrugged.

“Alright, fair enough,” he considered and then asked the big guy if he was up for it. _Only if tiny god stays,_ the Hulk pouted, unwilling to admit he was a little apprehensive about the idea of watching something horrible or frightening. “Thor are you in?”

“My quest to seek out Jane has run dry for the day. I do not see why not,” he shrugged a little sadly. “Moving pictures have always made me laugh,” he ended with a proud smile that said tomorrow was another day.

“Is it weird to invite Coulson or Fury?” Steve mused.

“I already asked them. They’re too busy playing cards,” Natasha waved a hand and popped more popcorn into her mouth before retrieving the other steaming bag.

“Playing cards?” he asked with a little hint of interest in his voice. “And Tony?”

“Out with Pepper,” Bruce reminded.

“Oh yeah, My Mommy,” he shook his head over the bizarre name.

“Mama Mia,” Bruce and Natasha corrected.

“So what is this movie picture?” Thor said looking the case over. “Who is this tiny thing in the well?”

Bruce swallowed as he looked at the case and realised what they were about to get into. “You aren’t afraid of water or the television are you?” he asked.

Thor thought about it and then frowned at such an odd question. “No, why?”

“Well…brace yourself,” he said and went to sit near the balcony.

Natasha brought drinks and the popcorn over before putting the movie in. As she settled down the lights shut off and the three males wished they’d gone to the bathroom beforehand. Romanoff cackled as she cracked opened a beer.

\-------------------------------------------------

_“Yinsen!”_

_“Stark…”_

_“Come on. We gotta go. Move for me. Come on. We’ve a plan, we’ve gotta stick to it.”_

_“This was always the plan Stark…”_

_“Come on so we can go see your family.”_

_“My family is dead…I’m going to see them now. Stark…it’s okay…”_

_He could feel his chest and eyes burning. He’d never been good with his feelings. He didn’t even think he cried when he was told his parents were dead. He probably did once he’d become totally and hopelessly drunk, but he couldn’t do it sober. Here was a man he’d only known for a short time in his life, a man he’d met before yet couldn’t remember, but wished he had known him his whole life, and he was just…_

_“It’s okay…I want this, I want this…” he whispered softly. He was trying to sooth him. That was supposed to be Tony’s job._

_“Thank you for saving me.”_

_“Don’t waste it. Don’t waste your life…Tony…”_

_Anger – fury revenge pain sadness regret_

_He wouldn’t let him die in vain._

_He was going to burn everything. Burn all of the weapons. At one point he would have been upset over the fact his creations were being destroyed but now – this was personal. He vowed then he would never create another weapon as he did before. He was going to do good things, things to actually help._

_“Don’t waste it…”_

I won’t… _he thought as he landed in the sand, the metal suit falling to pieces around him._ I promise Yinsen.

_Rhodey was running to him. “How was the fun-V?” he asked. Tony didn’t get a chance to answer before he was suddenly standing tall and proud. He was about to walk down the ramp with his dignity, fortune, and reputation still intact. Pepper was waiting for him. Pepper. Oh she was wonderful! She was an angel come to save him after he was lost for so long in hell. She had always been like a guardian angel. He never realised. Now he could start again._

_“Your eyes are red, tears for your long lost boss?” he joked._

_“Tears of joy. I hate job hunting.”_

_And then suddenly Obadiah was in his crudely made suit and he was standing behind Pepper._

_“Look out!” Tony cried. She wasn’t fast enough. Obadiah grabbed her by the throat and yanked her out of reach. Tony looked down and found he was in his Iron Man suit. He held out a hand to blast his former friend and found it didn’t work. He shook his hand. “Come on! What is wrong?”_

_“Tony, just stop it,” Pepper sighed heavily annoyed. “How many times are we going to have to deal with this?”_

_“What?”_

_“You’re not a hero. You’re not anything.”_

_“Pepper…?” he was hurt. She wouldn’t say that. Pepper loved him. He thought. She had said it, they had done things together and had sex and stuff. She had to have loved him to keep coming back to his bed when she already knew who and how many others had been in it._

_“Stark,” he looked down and found Yinsen in his arms._

_“Yinsen!” he cried and put a metal hand gently to his face. “What do I do?”_

_“Don’t waste it…” he exhaled and died before him again._

_“I’m not! I’m trying not too! I’m trying to do good! Yinsen, don’t leave me! I don’t have anyone please!”_

_Something hit him hard in the back. He turned and found Justin smirking proudly as he stood before a legion of Chitauri. “Get him,” he said with a wave of his hand. He went to a throne that was built out of Tony’s suits, all of them broken and torn to pieces. Pepper was waiting for him there. They kissed passionately before he sat down and pulled her into his lap._

_“This is wrong,” Tony shook his head. “This isn’t right. This is a dream.”_

_“Keep telling yourself that,” Justin called as Pepper laughed next to him. The Chitauri grabbed him. He tried fighting them off yet found he couldn’t match their strength. He was a sitting duck. Tuna in a can, and all they needed to do was pop it open._

_They pulled at his limbs. It was painful, being dragged in four directions. One held up a spinning saw and went in toward his reactor._

_“No! NO! I’ll die. I’ll die!” he struggled against them. “Stop! I need it! I need it!”_

_“Oh you do?” said a voice he’d never heard before, yet brought the worse sort of dread and fear into his body. He was cloaked, with too many fingers and ugly skin, and teeth encased by a twisted shrivelled mouth, and the cage over his lips – a cage he’d have to kiss one day. It was the cage from his childhood nightmares and he could taste the metal of it upon his lips, cold, hard, and alive. There was a shadow standing upon a high platform behind the hooded man. He was smiling. That’s all Tony could see were his teeth. He held out his hand and a willowy shadow came to stand next to him._

_The monster with too many fingers came toward him._

_“NO!” Tony cried out as the weird being removed the arc reactor from his chest. “STOP! NO! PEPPER!”_

_“TONY!” Another Pepper, dressed in a white flowing dress and pregnant, cried out and struggled against dark snickering shadows trying to get to him. “Tony wake up!”_

_“I can’t! I’m dying!” he gasped as fire spread across his chest. “I – I – ” he was floating in space, the burning in his chest, the beautiful nothing around him. He felt a hand on his cheek and realised he wasn’t in his suit. He looked and found Yinsen holding him, their roles reversed._

_“What did I tell you?” he whispered sadly down to him as he brushed some of the sweaty dirty hair from his forehead aside._

_“I’m sorry,” he sputtered and tasted blood in his mouth. It was sweet compared to the cage. Yinsen looked at him sympathetically and set a hand over the gaping hole in his chest to help slow the flow of the blood that was gushing out. “I…I tried.” He begged to him to understand._

_“I did not die so that you could live your former life. I wanted you to change. It be great.”_

_“I’m trying…it’s…it’s hard…I- I can’t breathe,” his other hand grabbed at his throat. “I’m choking!”_

_“Tony!” Pepper’s voice rang out._

_“Let me go,” he whispered to Yinsen. “Please?”_

_“If I do you’ll fall.”_

_“It’s okay,” he gurgled and spat up more blood. “I want this, I want this!” he shouted weakly as his lungs started filling with it. “I want to fall. It’s…it’s okay…” he breathed surrendering._

_“Don’t waste it…” Yinsen said again letting him go._

_Tony fell rapidly, only this time there were no holes back to New York. He was just falling in endless nothing. It felt as though it were forever and then suddenly he felt hands on him. They pulled him up and he was in a pool. It was Pepper._

_“Tony you have to wake up!”_

_“I…I can’t…” he whispered and wiped the water from his face. He touched his chest and found the reactor back in it. He gave a grateful sigh._

_“No Tony you have too. Something’s wrong!”_

_“What?” he turned to look at her and gave an alarmed gasp. She was fading away. “Pepper!”_

_“TONY!”_

_And then Obadiah was standing before him, he had Pepper in his arms again._

_“TONY RUN!” she cried, a bundle cradled to her chest protectively._

_“PEPPER!” he tried getting up and found his limbs being held down by Chitauri. “Pepper, don’t worry, I’ll fix this,” he promised. He felt a chill as something lowered the cage from behind him and secured it to his face. “I promise!”_

_“Tony wake up!” she begged completely terrified, tears spilling from her eyes. “Please wake up!”_

_“Pepper it’s going to be fine. I promise.”_

_“I love you,” she whispered._

_“I love you,” he finally admitted. Stane grabbed her head and turned her neck in a direction it shouldn’t have gone. There was a sickening crack and before he could yell, he was being dragged under water. Down and down…it was becoming darker. Something dropped into the water over him and he realised it was an electronic device. A high-powered toaster. The fucking toaster he tried killing himself with many years ago. He hated toast. He hated that that was the thought which occupied the three long seconds of nothing that occurred before it activated and he was burning again._

“Tony!”

“Pepper!” he cried and covered his face. “No! God I’m sorry! Pepper!”

“Tony wake up!”

There were cold hands on his face and he realised he wasn’t literally frying in a pool. He was just hot. He wasn’t wet from water it was sweat. He opened his eyes and took a deep breath. The sidelight was on and Pepper’s face was before him, concerned and loving as she held his face between her hands.

“You’re okay,” she promised gently. “I’ve got you. It was just a nightmare.”

“I…you…the…” he tried as he panted, completely lost for words.

“It was just a dream,” she reassured.

He closed his eyes tightly and pulled her close, kissing her face all over as he apologised again and again.

“Shhh,” she soothed and kissed his lips. “You’re safe.” He was. Her lips were so warm. Nothing like the cage.

“You weren’t.”

“It was just a dream.”

“You died,” he whispered and burst into tears. “Oh my god, Pepper you died…”

“It wasn’t real,”

“It felt so real…” he breathed and sniffed trying to pull himself together. “What time is it?”

“Five in the morning.”

“Oh god, I’m sorry,”

“No it’s alright,” she shook her head. “I’m still catching up from flying back and forth across the country.”

He sighed and covered his face with his hands. “I…I need something.”

“Coffee?”

“I don’t know…”

“Well,” she smirked a little and kissed his brow, letting her lips rest there a little longer than usual. She was checking his temperature. It was what his mother used to do when he was younger.

He turned his head away and grimaced as he felt muscles pull around his body, still wound too tight from the dream. “I’m…I’m fine.”

“Tony, you’re flushed and you nearly pulled your reactor out,” she said grabbing him and pulled him back down to the bed. “Now either you lay still or I’m getting Bruce in here.”

Tony sighed and didn’t fight her. He knew the look that flashed across her face for a second were her worries being confirmed and tripled. He didn’t want to cause her problems. He sighed again, this time heavier…guiltier…

She kissed the side of his forehead, this time it was a kiss that spoke of comfort. She settled down in bed and offered her arms. He hated sleeping like this; he was supposed to be her comfort. His arms were supposed to go around her and make her feel special and safe. His fingers were supposed to play in her hair. His lips press to her face soothing. His mouth speak words of –

He shivered as he felt the phantom kiss of the cage over his mouth. Pepper held him closer. “Are you going to work on the training room later?” she asked, hoping to distract him.

“Yeah,” he nodded and licked his lips as he tried relaxing in her arms. He could hear her heart beating. It was slowing. She had been scared. He hated himself for making her feel that way.

“Will you tell me about it?” she offered gently.

“Well…we have to get the basement cleaned out. Then I can cut my father’s old work space in two…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~I'm sorry for bringing such a downer note to this chapter and the piece, but I thought it only fair to warn everyone it's been rough sailing since the new year in regards to my personal life and it's only getting worse. I don't want you all to think I've forgotten or abandoned you if I stop posting for a very long period of time. I honestly can’t do that. I'm really excited to actually get time to finish laying this out, because the stuff I've written for later on are beautiful and I'm super stoked for you all to read those chapters.~~
> 
> ~~Maybe Fate and the American job market will be kind enough to give me one soon? I mean there has got to be something between Lowes and McDonald’s, because I’m underqualified in one and overqualified in the other…I mean someone has to quit, it's been almost a year...something will open up, right? Someone will call me back, right? There has to be something, right? Right…~~
> 
> ~~I'm hoping for a chapter next week, but if there is nothing, at least you all know I'll be back once things have settled.~~ I hope you all have a magnificent rest of the month! You all are the best and thank you so much for your support.


	34. Chapter 34

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know the tune: All mistakes are my own. If anything looks weird let me know. I rushed editing this because I was excited about life and I couldn't wait.  
> Thank you from the tipy-tipy-bottom of my heart for taking time to read/comment/kudos/etc this fic. I honestly appreciate it. Please enjoy the chapter!

\----------------------34----------------------

The next two days were the worst to live through, and it had nothing to do with Thor, Steve, Bruce, and the other guy being scared shitless from the Japanese version of _The Ring_ ; Loki and Clint breaking their bed from all of the vigorous extra activities; Tony having nightmares; Fury having to deal with Clint’s pissy attitude toward him without upsetting the balance; or everyone finding out about the raid at Xavier’s home and the media’s reaction; no…it all had to do with the anticipation of the act and moving to a safer location now that they were obviously and unquestionably back on S.H.I.E.L.D’s radar.

Every morning Pepper would leave with two giant thermoses full of coffee and some food for Bruce and Tony, who worked with little to no breaks putting the new system into the building; Phil and Fury helped pack boxes for the move and kept mainly to themselves; Natasha spent a good majority of the time sharpening and fixing up weapons; Steve and her set up personal training schedules for everyone and they all stuck with it or suffered her wrath; the crime rate sky rocketed and riots broke out all over the United States. Thor had taken a day to go out to look for Jane in Oklahoma, only to find nothing. No one knew who she was or would tell him where she had gone if they recognised her; they only said she had just suddenly packed up and left. Phil offered to try and locate her phone GPS, but couldn’t promise anything. Clint came to hate watching TV and he knew Loki wanted to know nothing about what was going on. The news of the raid on Xavier’s house had really upset him. He spent the days worrying over something he wouldn’t share with the archer and woke at night with small shouts and gasps.

He hadn’t really slept, even though Clint had tried numerous times to get him too, even if it were for a short nap. The god couldn’t stay still for long. If they weren’t having sex, he was either pacing the living room restlessly or down in one of the training rooms.

Clint didn’t say anything as he entered the weight room and scanned the area. He found Loki. He was in black workout pants and a dark green tank top, his hair held back in a ponytail by an elastic tie as he panted and punched the bag before him. His motions weren’t precise or calculated; they were reckless, aggressive, and suggested he was withholding more than Clint had originally thought.

He spotted Steve in the corner helping Thor with one of the weight machines. Loki increased his speed as Clint came toward him; his frustration now openly apparent in every one of his movements. He gave a grunt and spun sharply, giving the bag a good kick and sent it flying across the room.

Tony had notice the rise in broken bags and hooks, so he had come up with a system which monitored the momentum and physical force output the trainee put into their workout. If the system detected that they were about to break something, the catch which held the chains and the bag up would release. Thus, all the person needed to do would bring it back and hook it up. No more torn ceilings, no more tore up bags from the force of the chains ripping, and one could continuously use the same bag several times before it wasn’t worth much.

Loki let himself fall forward in half and closed his eyes as he steadied his breathing; his hands pressed into his thighs as his body shook slightly. He had been working for hours without rest and now Clint wasn’t going to let this window of opportunity slip away. He held out a water bottle to him. “Hey.”

“Hello,” he took a breath as he straightened and accepted the container, drinking deeply from it before he gave it back. “Were you not here a few moments ago?”

“Can I not come to check on you every few hours?”

He smirked as he nodded and wiped at his slightly damp brow. Clint could tell he was flattered for the attention. “How are things above?”

“Natasha made something you might enjoy.”

“Really?” he smiled interested.

“Yeah,”

“I can’t wait.” He took a step toward Clint and grabbed the side of his face, bringing their mouths close. “How is your body?” he whispered still a bit breathless and slid his hand down to knead the archer’s rear suggestively.

Clint shivered and pressed himself closer to the god’s heated sweaty body. “What did you have in mind?” he flirted back.

He chuckled in a low tone, “Nothing we may achieve at the present, unfortunately.”

“If we try hard enough we could,” he tempted playfully and lifted his face up.

“Oh, you wickedly beautiful creature,” he hissed back, highly impressed and a little swayed. He leaned his face down for a taste. It was simple and nice. They both probably would have indulged further if it wasn’t for Natasha rushing in.

“You all need to come upstairs,” she panted from the catwalk area above them, urgency and apprehension rolling off of her in something Clint wasn’t used to seeing on her: fear. Everyone opened their mouths to say something: whether it was Clint’s playful ‘You’re not my boss,’ to Thor’s ‘I was about to lift this,’, no one was able to finish for she held up her hand making a loud abrasive noise to silence them. “Hill’s in Washington.”

“What does that mean?” Thor asked.

“It means they’re almost done with the hearings and the committee will decide if it goes up for votes or not.” Steve explained as he moved toward the elevator.

Loki swallowed and looked at Clint who glanced at him and then nodded. “Let’s go then,” the archer said and they all hurried up stairs.

\-------------------------------------------------

Pepper was sitting in the middle of the couch, nervously twisting at her skirt hem as her and Phil intently watched the news. He put an arm around her for comfort and she shook her head. “I don’t like this,” she whispered pressing the fingers of one of her hands to her lips.

“I know,”

“This is bad,”

“I know,”

“I need to call Tony,” she stood suddenly.

“Tony’s watching. I just got off the phone with Bruce,” he calmly reassured her and helped coax her to sit back down.

There was a fumbling noise from the hall and then Natasha and Clint ran in. The female assassin rolled and then leaped, landing on the side of the couch where she crouched to watch.

“Damn,” Clint sighed and stood next to her. “Next time,” he promised.

She made a noise as the others came in after them. Steve went to sit on Pepper’s other side. “What have we missed?” he asked.

“S.H.I.E.L.D. is just finishing up statistics and their opinion. Hill’s playing her part almost perfectly,” Fury answered and shifted in his chair, trying to mask his anxiety over the situation.

Loki moved closer to Clint as Hill began answering a new question.

“It is our opinion that people who possess these certain abilities, whether they were born with them, granted later in life, or wrongfully stolen from the government, are a threat if left unchecked and allowed to roam free.”

“Do you have any examples of such threatening persons with power?”

“Yes we do. One notorious Charles Xavier, a mutant with the ability to read people’s minds, alter their opinions, and ultimately take control of their bodies, has been slipping information to terrorists overseas by stealing information wrongfully and unfairly from government officials.”

Pepper inhaled sharply. “That’s a bunch of –”

“Sh, Pepper, it’s okay,” Phil said.

“Another is Dr. Robert Bruce Banner, a genius and specialist within his former field of gamma-radiation studies. He purposely injected himself with radiation, and now transforms into what people have called the ‘Hulk’: a massive and _highly_ dangerous out of control beast, which has destroyed Harlem and has devastated several countries overseas. He is currently helping aid several other terrorists with hiding an extragalactic war criminal who brought death and destruction to New York earlier this year.

“And who is this supposed alien?” the head of the committee laughed in disbelief.

“Loki Laufeyson of Asgard, sir,”

“Loki, as in a child’s mytho–”

“I understand that to some of you all of this may seem silly or even insane; however, there is a reason why many people, including yourself, still think that gods, aliens, and other such things are children’s stories.”

“Then I suppose zombies are a real threat?”

“Have you ever seen a zombie?” she replied seriously and raised an unamused challenging eyebrow.

“No, but –”

“You’re welcome,” she cut in bluntly and then turned a page ready to go on. The man shut his mouth and blinked at her taken aback for a moment. “Loki has allied with Anthony Stark –”

“Oh thanks for the introduction!” a familiar sassy and suave voice announced. Everyone began speaking at once and camera flashes went off as Tony sauntered into the room wearing his Iron Man armour.

“TONY YOU IDIOT!” Pepper shouted and tried getting up to leave. “I’M GOING TO KILL HIM! Get me my phone! Get me Happy! GET ME A PLANE!” Steve and Phil held her back and calmed her down a bit. “They’re going to arrest him!”

“He won’t let that happen, he’s great at getting out of his messes, just watch,” Phil begged, praying the genius was genius enough to have several plans of escape if things fell through.

“Do you have permission to be here Mr. Stark?” the head of the committee asked once everyone had settled down a little.

“Yes, I received this lovely invitation,” he said stepping out of the Iron Man suit and pulled out a piece of paper from inside his dress suit jacket. “It says,” he cleared his throat and opened it. “‘Dear Anthony E. Stark, aka Iron Man, please take note that if you have received an invitation to speak for or against at the hearing regarding the Superhuman Registration Act, due to begin taking place September 23rd at noon and will end September 25th at three in the evening, you are not welcomed. If you attend said event and present a case in favour of the bad-guys I will be sitting within the gallery and fire upon you,’” the place erupted into commotion as police and body guards charged into action, drowning out the letter’s finishing lines and the signed named. He folded it and tucked it back into his jacket. After most of the rabble settled down he continued. “So I’m not here to present a case,” he shouted above the lingering noise and clasped his hands before him as he waited.

“Then why are you here?” someone spoke up in a resentful tone.

“Calm down Stern, I’m not here to take your job,” he smiled at the senator and waved. “Lovely to see you, is that a new toupee? Look’s almost real this time.”

Pepper covered her face with her hands and made a disgruntled noise as she tried keeping her cool. Some people laughed at the hearing. The elevator dinged and Bruce rushed in.

“Tony went –”

“We know,” everyone said and gestured to the TV.

“Oh,” he sighed and collapsed onto the carpet holding his chest. “Oh god…”

“Did you run here?” Fury asked.

“Yes,” he panted. “He! He just shot off! And I didn’t think to…” he made a loud exhaling noise and turned his face so that he could see the TV.

Stern looked unamused and even more upset. “You do not –”

“I do,” he smiled and pulled out another piece of paper. “I _was_ invited, both formally and informally; however, I am here to say that in order to protect myself, my family, my team, my employees and their livelihoods, as well as everyone here and watching this, I will _not_ be speaking.”

“Great! Get out!” Stern said with a sigh of relief as he went to sit.

“I’ll be giving my spot to someone else,” he smiled and held out his hands for the doors. “May I present a long-time friend, and someone who is better qualified to shed light upon this subject? Great, here is Dr. Reed Richards.”

The tall man stepped into the room wearing a blue jumpsuit, black boots, glasses and a white lab coat. He was fairly young, in his mid to late thirties with a solid patch of white-grey hair at his temples. He was followed in by three others, also in blue: a female, a male, and a…thing.

“Hello,” Richards said politely when he came to the opposing side’s podium. “I’d like to say thank you to the members of the committee, senators, the public standing here, and those at home for giving us the opportunity to speak. For those who do not know me, my name is Dr. Reed Richards, and I work for the greater good of not only this country, but the world. I received a phone call from my friend Mr. Stark last night, asking if I would speak on his behalf regarding the issue up for debate: the Superhuman Registration Act.”

“I was once like many of you watching at home. What people would today call a ‘normal’ human being. I was working on better space technology and studying radiation given off by our sun. My team,” he gestured behind him, “and I were in Earth’s atmosphere when an intense radiation storm hit us. These are a regular occurrence out in space; however, we do not feel or know much about them because our atmosphere protects us from the worst effects these storms produce. Our ship’s shields weren’t effective enough, and we were hit with the full blast of it. Upon returning to Earth, we found we had been changed, for better or worse, our ‘normalcy’ was destroyed and we became something more.”

“Many of you do not know us by our given names, however you may know us by our alter identities: Invisible Woman, Human Torch, Thing, and myself, Mister Fantastic. Together we make up the small crime fighting unit: The Fantastic Four. Since our forced genetic mutations, we have helped put twelve well-known and highly dangerous criminals behind bars, specifically those terrorising citizens along the west coast; we have helped rescue people from burning buildings; we have fed and clothed the hungry; we have built shelters for those who did not have a place to call home; and we helped clean up the beaches after Katrina.”

“After this, a lot of you still may not even care about who we are and that is fine. We aren’t looking for attention or recognition; we are looking for those that need our help. Those that are unable to defend themselves, because whatever they are facing is much more than what anyone could possibly deal with alone. You are not alone and neither are we. There are more of us; and several million, however, do not have a choice in the matter of their abilities or even their own existence. They are either like us, where they had something special and unexpected happen to them, or they were born with their abilities. Are we, as a country and as their fellow human beings, honestly going to allow something to become a law that would put many of our citizens in danger because a small few believe that someone who is considered ‘superhuman’, or ‘not normal’, to ultimately and unquestionably be a danger to our society?”

“S.H.I.E.L.D. would care to point out that there was a fifth who went with Dr. Richards and his companions on their mission. He is now a registered super villain who has killed several dozen innocent New York citizens,” Hill spoke up.

“Losing my friend Victor has been a very emotional ordeal; one that, regardless if mutation within an individual occurred, could have happened to anyone. Some of us chose the path we see holds the best outcome,” Reed replied. “However he is one. There are millions who use their powers for good, many without even realising they have a mutation.”

“And there are many more that have done a great deal of harm.”

“This is an unnecessary act. The number of people who have done wrong versus the number of those who have proven to be trustworthy with their actions and effective in helping keep that small number of evil-doers to a minimum out weights –”

“So you are suggesting we just let people who are ‘real’ threats or potential ones run around free?” Hill said cutting him off.

“No, I am merely pointing out that for every one bad apple you have acres more of good ones ready to defend and protect our world.”

“And what of the ones that are bad?”

“Do you honestly believe anyone is able to pinpoint who is truly good or truly bad?”

“Can’t you?”

“If someone is hurting others and breaking the law, they are wrong and should face their crimes and be tried in our court systems the same way as any other American citizen.”

“If we keep a list of people and their abilities –”

“Those that are villains wouldn’t even be considered a candidate for registration anyways. They don’t follow laws established to protect their society, what makes you think they’ll willingly get in a line and let someone take blood samples, or x-rays, or do tissue studies, and –”

“And you think letting them roam free will –”

“I’m not saying let them roam free. I’m saying we remember that we’re talking about human beings. What this act is suggesting and demanding we allow happen to our people is going to eventually lead us to another Holocaust.”

“Are you saying that the normal people are Na–”

“No what I am trying to say is this act discriminates upon the American people’s Constitutional Rights, as well as their basic human rights. This goes for every other country that believes registering a select group of people a good idea. For example, if we passed a law tomorrow that said everyone with blonde hair had to register to be monitored and tracked for the rest of their lives, because one person with blonde hair killed someone else –”

“But we’re not talking about blonde hair, we’re talking about mutants. We’re talking about aliens. We’re talking about people who can blow things up with their eyes, break people with their minds, and annoy everyone with their giant egos and bulky tasteless designed machines.”

“Oh baby she didn’t mean it,” Tony said to his suit and rubbed it. “You’re not bulky or tasteless. It’s just a little extra fluff to help with flight. I can slim it down, I promise.”

“It was an example,” Reed sighed frustrated and ignored Tony’s commentary. “You’re asking the country to turn against itself. You’re asking parents to hand over their children and hope that they’ll one day see them again. You’re asking friends to become enemies. If people continue to keep this suspicious and distrusting attitude, we’re going to collapse. We’re supposed to be an example of freedom, yet we’re persecuting our own species!”

“Mutants are –”

“They are! They are human begins. Just as there are many different genera of the same flower species, there are different types of human beings. No one is born the same. That is how we became who we are today. We evolved. Things on this planet evolve to survive. Whether you believe in a god or not, you cannot deny that we weren’t gifted the amazing ability to adapt and survive and this is how our species designed itself. DNA that has been passed down for thousands of years, twisting and changing, and we have this as a final result. We have bred ourselves this way for a reason. We may not see it now, but in the long run something will happen and our future generations will look back and be ashamed that in history we once persecuted each other. They will question why their ancestors were so narrow-minded and hateful. Why they couldn’t just accept their own kind. Just as new generations do now when it comes to studying the old segregation laws.”

“Mutants are not –”

“If two dogs are in the same room, and one has long hair the other does not, does that give the dog with the hair the right to harm the hairless dog?”

“No, but –”

“No!” he said pointing his finger firmly on the podium. “He is _not_ entitled to hurt a fellow species member. Can he make the conscious decision to do so? Perhaps, however that one long haired dog is _one_ dog. He doesn’t speak or represent his species as a whole. He does not set the standard that every dog with long hair will always attack a hairless dog.”

“We are not dogs!”

“No, but the same arguments were made when it came to Christians versus polytheistic religions. This is the same fight our species has been throwing around for centuries. This is what we dealt with during women’s rights, one of the issues involved with the Civil War, why we once segregated ourselves, why there was a Holocaust, the struggle we have between classes and even rights for people born gay. This is a battle that is old! It has taken many shapes and it’s beaten down. Throw it away! Throw away your narrow-minded, self-centred, and prejudicial views. Stop distrusting everyone you meet. We have the power to change ourselves and establish a good world. It starts with a spark. It starts with people seeing all the bad around them and instead of chaining it up and obsessing over watching it manifest further, they sweep it up. They band together and they make a change for _good_ ,because people are naturally good. We teach ourselves to hate. We teach ourselves to fear and belittle others over things we don’t understand, because someone, who has been dead for thousands of years, said it was the best way to live. Well I’m here today to say I don’t believe that any longer and I want a change for good. I stand and defend humanity and I _know_ it is good.”

There was an outburst of cheers and applause. People rose to their feet and began chanting and demanding for change and an end for the act. Hill clinched her jaw and waited as order was called for.

“This hearing is nearly over,” the head committee member said. “Does the side in support of the act have anything further to add?”

“No, we do not at this time,” Hill replied carefully tight as she gathered her papers.

“Does the opposing side have anything they wish to say?”

“Only to thank you for this opportunity to be here,”

He nodded. “If there is nothing further, and no one else who will come forward, then I hereby end this hearing. The committee will meet tomorrow and further discuss this matter before making a final decision. Thank you all for coming out these past few days.”

They all sat in the living room unmoving for several minutes as they watched people shuffle out or huddle together. Hill turned to the man next to her and they left quickly. As they passed Tony, the African-American male bumped him. He apologised and continued following Hill without any other words or actions.

Fury saw as Tony frowned, watching the agent leave and then turned to give Reed a hug. Just at that moment, there were shots fired and panic broke out. The broadcast quickly cut off and they were left staring at the test pattern. The buzzing sound slowly grew louder, drowning out the noises that had begun to rise in the city.

Pepper suddenly inhaled, as her body forced herself to breath. “Oh my god!” she whispered and covered her head with her hands. Phil rubbed her back and whispered supportive and positive words.

Steve reached up and pulled Natasha into a tight embrace, kissing the side of her face to help keep her calm. Loki swallowed and looked at Clint before shifting to stand as close as he could to him. The archer put his arm around the god’s waist. They all waited. Bruce buried his face into the carpet and his hands, his breath heavy and uneven as time wore on.

It was a full thirty minutes before Fury crossed the room and went out onto the balcony to see what was going on outside. There were sirens and crashing noises along with shouts. He returned and shook his head. “It’s a protest.”

“Oh my god he’s dead!” Pepper whispered and choked on her sobs.

“We don’t know that,” Phil reminded.

“He’s dead! He didn’t even tell me about the threat! That bastard!” She let Coulson pull her into a hug and cried.

His phone rang and everyone jumped. He picked it up. “Hello?” He nodded and then gave Fury a look. The master spy nodded and moved to take his place comforting Pepper as Phil rose and left the room quickly. “Yes…yes I was watching. No…no we’re…well you saw.”

“What can we do to help you?” Fury asked the young woman gently.

“I…I need a phone. I need a laptop. I need a jet. I need…”

“I meant to help ease, not create further work and stress for you.”

She shook her head. “I…I don’t know.”

“Excuse me,” JARVIS announced. “I do not wish to interrupt; however, there is a call for the Avengers.”

“Put it through,” Steve commanded.

“PEPPER!!!!!” The woman being called for screamed as the familiar billionaire’s voice spooked them all suddenly. “Pepper where you watching? Did you see me?”

“Oh my god you’re alive!” she sobbed harder.

“What? Why wouldn’t…wait a minute…oh man! Did they cut it off? There was a great fight thing. I totally owned! I even blew a kiss at the camera for you.”

“Tony!” she yelled up at the speaker, “You are in so much _shit_!” she hissed the last part and wiped her eyes at a loss for words.

“But I saved us! And I’m bringing dinner home. And some friends. We’ll need another table. I’m assuming Bruce ran to tattle on me, so he can help bring that out and set it up against the main dinner one. Steve knows where they are. I think, or else I’m sure Jarvis does.”

“You need to be careful,” Fury said. “S.H.I.E.L.D. has you on a new list now. I’m sure they’re waiting for you to slip up so that they can take you in.”

“I’m being careful. I’m currently flying invisible.”

“What?”

“She’s really nice. I think you’ll like her. Pep, you’ve met her. We’re going to land on the roof. We’ll be there in a little bit. I called in an order. Happy went to get it. I hope everyone likes roasted stuff.”

“Tony –”

“I have to go. There are aerial things following us. I’ll see you all soon!”

“Tony don’t you dare!” Pepper stood, but the line cut off. She made a frustrated growling noise.

Phil returned. “What did I miss?”

“Tony’s alive,” Bruce explained. “He’s got dinner covered.”

“Oh…great,” he smiled.

“He’s also being attacked by aerial things,” Steve added.

“Oh…great,” his smile turned down a bit.

“Who was it?” Natasha asked and then pointed the phone in his hand.

“Uh…my…mother,” Phil answered, his face now becoming serious and a little sad.

The two assassins narrowed their eyes and made a face; their calculating judging face. The one that said they knew something was up.

“I thought your mother was dead?” Clint asked darkly, “Because if she’s not and you lied, I’m only giving you two seconds to run.”

“No, I meant – it’s complicated,” he sighed and rubbed his face, trying to move the conversation on to a different direction, “So what happened?”

“A fight they didn’t show,” Steve said. His phone went off and he jumped, grabbing it up and then saw the name on the ID. “I have to take this,” he whispered and kissed Natasha’s cheek as he got up to leave. “Excuse me,” he said and left the room.

“Anyone else?” Fury said looking around.

Bruce’s phone went off. “That’s Jen,” he said and got up. “Sorry,” he pushed the button and held it to his ear, “I’m alright…yes I saw that…yeah she is kind of…well,” he gave a nervous laugh as he got up and left the room.

“If the sky opens up and a giant face appears in the clouds asking for you both, I’m going to shit bricks and then build a giant wall across America,” Clint warned with a sharp glance at Loki and Thor.

The two looked innocently back at him.

Thor realised what he was implying. “It will not unless I call for it to open,” Thor explained. “And it would be a very tiny face. My people are relatively the same height as myself. Although, I did not know you could do such a thing. Is it common for many Midgardians to shit things they can build with?”

“Joke, Thor,” Loki sighed and held a hand to his forehead. “He was making a joke.”

“Oh,” he said sheepishly. “Good one,” he tried to recover with a laugh.

“I’m going to change,” Steve announced coming back into the room.

“It’s best if I did as well,” Loki said and moved away from Clint.

“Need any help?” the archer wiggled his eyebrows at him and smirked. Natasha pinched his arm and that seemed to solve any further matters of that suggested subject.

\-------------------------------------------------

Tony waltz through the tower singing. He spun when he came to the doorway which lead into the living room and held his hands out with a smile. “Hello you people who are almost as fantastically beautiful as myself! Well,” he shrugged and walked toward the couch, “with the exception of Pepper. She’s the fairest of all.” The fairest rose and slapped him across the face. “And the most upset.”

“I thought you died!” she hissed.

“But I didn’t.”

“Why do you keep _doing_ this to me!?”

“I don’t mean too.”

“Do you enjoy making me suffer!?”

“No,”

“Do you think this all is a game!?”

“No, Pep,” he made a sad pouty face. “Pep, I didn’t mean –”

“Don’t even!” she warned putting her hand in his face as she walked passed him. “I want my vacation! You promised me sun, and a beach, and no more of this, and I want to cash it in now!”

“Pepper,” he tried soothing her as he followed her into the next room.

The four heroes from the hearing where standing there, looking around as the Avengers plus two watched them. “I’m Dr. Richards,” Reed waved nervously and then cleared his throat. “I know a few of you, however there are some new faces.”

“I’m the most important of the group and the leader,” Clint said stepping up. “My name is Captain America –”

“Clint!” The rest, but Thor and Loki, shouted.

Loki pulled the archer back so that the real Captain America could come forward. “Sorry about that,” he said holding out his hand in greeting. “I am Steven Rogers, this is Natasha Romanoff,”

“Hello,” Reed said shaking her hand.

“Hi,”

“This is Phil,”

“I remember Phil, how is your chest?”

“Better,” he smiled and patted the spot on his torso. Loki flinched.

“I’m sure you know Bruce?”

“Yes,” he stepped forward and shook his hand. “Good to see you.”

“Nice seeing you.”

“And Fury?”

“Director,” he said with a smile and a nod. He stopped and then frowned, “Or…former…uh…sir,” he finished a little awkwardly.

“Nice to see you Reed,” he nodded.

“These are the Princes of Asgard, Thor and Loki,”

“And the liar is Clint,” Natasha finished.

“Hey!” the archer said. “It was just a joke!”

“He is full of those, and apparently bricks,” Thor said to Reed as they shook hands, his face indicated that he was rather pleased with what he had just said.

Reed made a curious face and then shook Loki’s hand. “He’s making a joke of a joke,” the mage explained quietly to him.

“Ah!” he smiled and then laughed and pointed at Thor. “Very funny. Nice to meet you both, and…Claude was it?” he asked not really interested.

“Clint,” he narrowed his eyes at the man.

“Nice, well this is Susan my fiancé,” he said holding out his hand to bring the blonde forward.

“Congratulations!” the Avengers plus two wished in different level of enthusiasm and volume.

“My brother is also getting married!” Thor said and clapped Loki on the back proudly.

“Oh really?” Susan said with a smile. “Who is the lucky lady?”

“Uh, lord,” Loki politely corrected and took Clint’s hand. “I haven’t yet properly asked by Asgardian la–”

“Yeah technicalities aside,” Clint waved a hand at the god. “There is no set date, but you’re invited if you want.”

“Thank you that’s very kind,” Reed said and then turned to wave the other two over. “This is my close friend, Ben Grimm and Susan’s brother, Johnny,”

Everyone said their hellos in friendly or familiar manners until Steve came to shake Johnny’s hand.

“Hey!” the young man said with a smile and pointed. “We have the same nose structure! Were your parents Irish or English?”

“Uh…Irish,” he frowned and looked the man over a bit creeped out. “They were Irish.”

“Our mother was too! Do you like cars? I feel like you’re more of a bike guy though,”

“I uh, I,”

“He has a special custom Harley-Davidson,” said Natasha swooping to the soldier’s rescue.

“I bet she’s beautiful,”

“She is.”

Johnny got a look over his face and everyone could see the moment he turned his sexual charm on. “I bet she pales in comparison next to you though,” he smoothly said.

“I’m a living breathing being with soft skin, ample curves, and nicely scented hair. I’m safe in assuming that to be the case.”

He was taken aback by her bold and witty comeback. He opened his mouth to say something but Natasha leaned up and pulled Steve into a passionate kiss.

“I’ll save you a seat,” she whispered patting his chest slowly. She gave Johnny a tight smile and walked away, making sure to swing her hips in just the right fashion before she disappeared.

Johnny shivered as he watched her and then turned back to Steve. “Nice…you hit that?”

“Excuse me?” he glared at him, taken aback by the unfamiliar slang.

“Are you hitting that?” he asked again, confused as to what the man wasn’t getting from his question. He turned to the side and made a pelvic thrusting motion. “Do you bang her?” Steve’s face dropped into a displeased serious glare and he quickly moved to follow his girlfriend.

Barton came over and looked the male over before nodding. “No, no he doesn’t.”

“Thank you,” he whispered and closed his eyes like a small prayer. “That’s all I needed to know.”

“You’re welcome,” he grabbed Loki’s hand and they headed for the dining room.

 _Why did you lie?_ He asked resisting his pull.

 _Because it’s going to be great watching Natasha verbally abuse him_ and _physically riel him up without having to do much._ He smiled back at him.

Loki sighed heavily as he rolled his eyes. _Honestly Clint…_

 _What?_ he shrugged innocently. _I’d do the same if someone where putting the movies on you._

_Even Sigyn?_

“She’s different,” he replied sharply unhappy over the reminder. _Besides,_ he looked around, seeing that no one was paying attention to them as they all went into the dining room, and pulled Loki close to his chest. _Possessive sex is super steamy. I’m helping them._

_You’re causing trouble._

“I’m sorry, is the God of Mischief chastising me?”

Loki rolled his eyes and then leaned in to give the archer a small kiss before breathing into his ear, “Yes…and there will be a lesson later.”

Clint shivered violently as the god moved away, a wickedly pleased smile upon his pale lips.

“Yes…” he hissed and pumped his fist in victory before following Loki.

\-------------------------------------------------

Dinner was Boston Market, which Loki enjoyed so much he finished half a chicken on his own. He gave the rest to Thor and began on another helping of mac and cheese.

“Wow look at him go!” Tony commented as Loki spooned food onto his plate. He looked up at the billionaire and suddenly became very self-conscious.

“Don’t let him bully you,” Bruce reminded with a smile.

“I’m not a bully!”

“It’s good to see him eat,” Pepper chipped in to help reassure him. “Have as much as you want,” she nodded and gestured to the carton he was holding. “Honestly, it’s still fairly early, if we need more we’ll send Tony.”

“Why me?”

“Your treat,” Reed reminded.

“I hate my money,” he sighed heavily.

“I hate it too.” The both of them laughed.

Johnny was still trying to get Natasha’s gears turning; however, it seemed every time he said or did something she’d flip a wrench in his plans and only set his flames burning hotter. “Do you dance?” he asked.

“Does the Earth spin a thousand miles an hour on an axial tilt of about twenty-three point five degrees?” she teased biting her lip and batting her eyes again. He made a face and shifted his legs trying to hide his arousal.

“You’re so smart…it’s hot,”

“This is disgusting to watch,” Steve complained to Phil, who was looking across the table at the flame superhero.

“Yeah…I know the feeling,” he nodded and gave the soldier a sympathetic look, not wishing to disclose what feeling that was and what caused it.

“So when are you moving again Tony?” Susan asked.

“Oh yeah! Hey Avengers!” he called.

A collective “What?” sounded from the group members.

“Great news: the mansion’s systems have been updated. I’m going to do a scan and test tomorrow morning while you all pick out rooms and then we can start moving in.”

“What if the scan finds something wrong?” Steve asked.

“I wired it, I built the system, if something is wrong it’s all Bruce’s fault,” Tony shrugged.

Bruce froze, just after he had stuffed his mouth full of chicken, and slowly looked up at the billionaire. He chewed with sharp chomps to show his displeasure over Stark’s comment.

“Tony will spend time fixing it while we all move things in,” Pepper answered rolling her eyes. “They have been working very hard on the systems and Bruce is very smart, I highly doubt the scan will come up negative. Tony could even do it tonight so that in the morning he can give you all a tour.”

“What?” he barked.

They gave a cheer, agreeing on that plan, and began making toasts. Thor rose from the table. “Excuse me,” he said excitedly with a small incline of his head. “This calls for purple drink!”

The Fantastic Four frowned at him confused.

“He means grape soda,” Bruce explained as the god left.

“Wait, does this mean we should pack?” Clint asked.

Natasha looked at him disapprovingly. “You haven’t done that yet?”

“No,” he answered a little sheepishly.

She set her silverware down heavily, dropped her shoulders and rolled her eyes with an exasperated sigh. “Steve and I gave you both boxes forever ago!”

“Yeah…well we’ve been…busy,” he shrugged.

“Clint has said we’d do it later and then he’d promptly crawl into bed and fell asleep,” Loki confessed.

“Hey!” he snapped a Loki. “Stop it!”

The god shrugged and smirked as he knew that Natasha had a responsibility lecture at the ready. It was enjoyable to watch her and Steve play parents to Clint. It always ruffled his feathers and promised for an interesting evening.

It was an interesting one indeed. After dinner, Tony took Reed down to the lab; Susan chatted with Pepper and Natasha about her wedding details and other female matters, mainly about how silly males were; Thor and Johnny struck up a conversation about workouts and women; and Bruce and Ben shared anger management tips and techniques. Clint, Loki, Phil, and Fury helped Steve clear the table. The two former S.H.I.E.L.D. agents waved the four away.

“We’ve got this, you all go enjoy your company,” Phil said as he began putting the left overs away.

“Alright,” Steve nodded before turning to point sternly at Barton, “Go pack!”

The archer whined and went back into the dining room. Loki waited quietly with Steve. Sure enough, Natasha’s shouts for the archer to do as he was told brought him right back to the god’s side, more grumpy than ever.

“ _Fine!_ ” he huffed and stomped to the elevator.

“He’s supposed to be an adult, right?” Phil joked to Fury.

“It’s always been debateable,” he laughed and began washing dishes. “How many years did we have to get him a colouring book for Christmas?”

“Or chocolate bunnies for Easter?”

“Or suffer with the April fool’s pranks?”

“Or pick him up from the bar on Halloween?”

“Remember the time he dressed all in black and terrorised the children that lived in the same neighbourhood as the governor’s daughter he was supposed to be watching?”

“We had so much paperwork over that mess!”

“I can hear you!” Clint called from around the corner.

Loki smirked and nodded to the solider, wishing him a good night. He hesitated before wishing the two at the sink the same, and hurried off after Clint before they could reply.

They stepped off the elevator and found a ton of boxes in the living room. Well they didn’t find them, more like they had had them there and kept forgetting until they were nearly tripping over them. Or at least Clint did.

“What the…oh yeah,” he frowned and scratched his neck. “I guess…we could…” he looked at Loki, who raised an eyebrow at him questioning. “Yeah fuck it,” he shrugged and pulled him close, kissing him.

“Shouldn’t we pack?” he asked in between kisses.

Barton made a noise and let go of him to sulk. “I knew you would say that!”

“Oh come now, Clint,” he smiled at him and pulled him back into his arm, pressing his chest into the archer’s back as he nuzzled the size of his face. “We _are_ moving tomorrow.”

“And I was promised a lesson,” he pointed out.

“Oh you’ll get that,” he laughed in his ear and then kissed up his neck, “However, don’t you desire to do this now? That way we may sleep in until it is almost time to depart…and then find a room,”

“Hmmm,” he whined still a bit pouty, but slipped his hand into the god’s hair.

“A room of our own,” he breathed on the wet skin and then flicked his tongue out and nipped at it. “Don’t you want one?”

“I do…” he sighed still stubbornly.

Loki ran his hands along the archer’s body slowly as he continued to tease him, moving up to his ear where he barely pressed kisses to it before sucking on the shell. Clint shifted and exhaled carefully. Loki paused his actions to whisper into it, “A room of our own with a bed…a bed we can ravish each other on….a bed I can keep you tied up on. One you can bend me over upon. Something with a headboard to bash against the wall and let everyone know how well and thoroughly… _fucked_ … we both are.”

Clint groaned, “I hope the walls are thin.”

Loki chuckled. “Even if they weren’t I can still entice you to be loud enough to be heard.”

“Oh _please_ just fuck me right now,” he exhaled with a throaty moan.

Loki shook his head and kissed his temple as he let him go. “Pack first.”

“I know what you could pack,”

The god gave him a confused look, but continued toward the bedroom where he started pulling out their clothes.

“Can we at least blow each other first?” he tried bargaining.

“If you keep dragging your feet it will only make things more difficult,”

“You know what’s difficult? Lifting things with a boner,”

“The longer you take the longer it will be before I have my way with you.”

“I’m protesting,” he huffed and crawled into bed.

“What are you doing?” he sighed exasperated as he turned to look at him.

“Protesting,” he firmly stated and began wiggling out of his clothes.

“It’s still too early to fall asleep,” he pointed out.

“I didn’t say I was falling asleep.”

Loki rolled his eyes. “Honestly Clinton, what is so hard with helping me quickly pack what little we have? Together it will take us maybe twenty minutes, now it’ll take me an hour.”

“An hour huh? Looks like I have some time to tease myself,” he giggled deviously and pulled his underwear off in a slow showy fashion.

Loki looked him over and then realised what his idea of protesting really meant. It hadn’t been what he expected, yet once he pondered over it, it was the only course the archer would, in his mind, logically take. “You mean to fondle yourself as way of enticing me to give in to your wishes?”

“Yep,” he smirked and settled back into the pillows and he began stroking himself.

“And what if my will is strong and I do as I intend?”

“Now we both know you love a good show,” he smiled and moaned a bit as he let his hand slide down his body, bringing his legs up invitingly, “And we both know I love to give a good one.”

“You are impossible,” he sighed and turned back to the draw he was currently cleaning out.

“Oh baby we haven’t even crossed that bridge.” Loki gave him a look that said he wasn’t impressed and decided to pull the drawer completely out before going into the living room. “Hey!” he called. “Get back here!”

“I am busy.”

“I’m about to be too!”

“You can still help,” he called with a light little ring. Clint gave a huff and got up to follow him. He stood at the door and watched him neatly stuff the bottom of a box with their socks and underwear. “Would you please get me another drawer?”

“If I do would you watch me touch myself for a few minutes?”

“Clint,” he said, his voice a tired plea, as he set the last of their undergarments in. He looked up at him with a troubled and sad expression. “I will always be more than happy to have intercourse with you. I will always been more than happy to kiss, and touch, and lick, and watch you play with yourself. I will always be eager to please you and give you the upmost care and consideration when we indulge in our conjugal rights; however, I am begging you at the moment to help me, please.”

Barton dropped his selfish act and straightened up. “You’re nervous.”

Loki looked down and then took a deep breath and nodded. “Yes.”

“Why?”

“This…” he sighed biting his bottom lip, “This has not been a very easy transition for me,” he confessed and looked up at him. “I…I’ve spent the greater part of my life convinced I’d never find anyone to share it with, and within the past year I’ve nearly destroyed a realm; I’ve fallen into the trenches of the universe; I’ve contracted dark magic, which constantly torments me; I was tortured and brainwashed into betraying my loved ones; I set about bringing a war to your realm; I was tortured again and poisoned almost to death; I had my soul-bound to an amazing being, that I honestly don’t deserve to be with; and I’ve only been awake for a little over a week,” he took a few calming breathes and then sighed heavily as he rubbed at his face. “I’m completely exhausted, and all of this still doesn’t add up the emotional straining aspect of having to tiptoe around your friends and worry if something I do or say will upset them and cause more problems.”

“I never thought about it like that,” he confessed softly apologetic.

“I’m sorry,” Loki whispered.

“No,” he shook his head. “Don’t be.” He turned and went into the room to quickly grab up and slip on his boxers before he pulled out two drawers and brought them to the god. “Here, you unload these and I’ll finish bringing you the others.”

Loki gave him a small grateful smile. “Thank you,” he said and handed him the empty one from before.

They worked quickly. The majority of what they owned at the moment consisted of clothes, which were already folded so it took less time than what they thought it would. Clint folded the flaps over each other and they stacked them on the other side of the elevator. They left an empty box near the bathroom and filled one with their books and knickknacks, leaving that near the bedroom door. Barton marked them with their initials: CB/LF, and wrote little hints as to what was inside each: clothes – clean, books, shoes, etc. They set out clothes for them to change into for tomorrow and brought the hamper near the box next to the bathroom.

Loki set the clear tape on the top to remind them to seal it for the movers. He turned to Clint, who stood next to him, and leaned in, cupping the archer’s face as he gently kissed him. He hummed and took a step toward him. “I think it is time for your lesson.”

“I believe it is,” he agreed and stole another kiss as they fumbled toward the bed. Clint quickly stripped Loki down and they yanked his boxers off.

They lay on their sides, legs tangled and bodies pressed tightly together, as they kissed and touched. Clint let his hands greedily run over the god’s back and down to grip his round rear. His tongue darted forward in an attempt to tease Loki’s out. The god hummed and ran his hands up Clint’s arms and into his hair, tilting the archer’s head back as he sucked on his lower lip instead of giving in and letting him taste.

“What’s my lesson tonight?” The archer asked in between kisses.

“Not receiving everything you desire,” Loki replied and moved his mouth down Clint’s neck.

He shrugged lightly, “I still get an orgasm, so no worries,” he muttered.

Loki chuckled and sucked on his collar bone. “I wouldn’t be so sure of that.”

“You’d deny me a magnificent finish?” he gasped playfully with a smile.

“I’ll give you what I deem appropriate for your misbehaviour this evening,” he growled and sucked on his sink hard.

“Ohhhh…I love it when you talk like that,” he sighed and shifted a bit, lowering his leg that was trapped in between Loki’s so the god could move further down, kissing his way to Barton’s navel.

Once there he began nipping at his stomach with long mildly kind bites, which made the archer hiss and squirm. Loki went with his wiggling motions and stayed on top of him, soothing the red spots with a hot tongue and a gentle kisses. He looked up at him as he lapped slowly at Clint’s stomach, moving them so that the archer would lay flat on his back. Loki smirked and continued down.

Clint watched as the god took his member in hand and began running his thin Amaranth-pink lips over it. Loki took his other hand and began slowly handling the archer’s sack. His bright tongue poking out to lick up the archer’s member as it swelled with his desire. The mage worked his lips and tongue in a steady rhythm, teasingly giving him almost what Clint desired.

He made Barton’s breath hitch, his hands fist the sheets, his heels dig into the bed, his throat strain as he swallowed and arched, yet whenever Loki felt Barton become too aroused he’d slowly stop what he was doing, move his hands away from his body, and just press simple short kisses to his thighs. It was torture, it was cruel, and it turned Clint on.

He groaned as Loki pulled back again, this time keeping his hands upon his thighs, his thumbs teasing the soft skin near his groin. “Loki,” he pleaded, appalled at just how needy and sweaty he’d become in such a short amount of time.

“Clint,” he whispered looking up at him with a gloriously winning smirk.

He growled frustrated and covered his face. “Why do I provoke you?”

He chuckled and dragged his tongue up Clint’s sac and member, which now lay upon his chest, slowly. When he reached the head, he gently pulled his foreskin back and greedily lapped up the precum. Clint moaned again and squirmed. Loki let his member go and pressed a kiss to it.

“Y’know that whole ‘women are different than men when it comes to arousal’ thing?” Clint panted staring at the ceiling.

“I am _very_ familiar with their differences, why?” he asked kissing along his hip.

“Yeah,” he huffed and swallowed. “Newsflash: this microwave has been about done for a while.”

Loki furrowed his brows at him. “I do not understand that, however if you wish me to stop…”

“Stop?” he gasped staring at him as though he were insane.

“Very well,” Loki shrugged, hiding a smile as he moved up his body, kissing him as he lay in between his spread legs, his arms on either side of the archer’s face and curled to play long pale fingers along his features.

Clint made an angry face. “No I meant –” Loki leaned down and kissed him. When he pulled back the archer’s face had become pouty angry, his lips tightly pressed together has he glared a little up at him.

“Oh now don’t be like that,” the god laughed and ran a finger down his nose before kissing it. “I never promised an orgasm,” he reminded nicely.

“Yeah, yeah, you’ll deem whatever for whatever and whatnot.”

“If you grace our bedplay with such an unhappy attitude I shall be forced to take no more pleasure with you. It is unlucky to have a displeased love.”

“You’re! I! Ugh!” he sighed giving up and closed his eyes. His mind began registering Loki’s hands. It sent tiny spikes of goose bumps along his body, his shoulders lifted slightly as he let his head drop back and his legs close around the god’s waist.

“Ah…” the god breathed and pressed his lips to Clint’s chin. “There we are…”

“Shhh,” he chuckled and playfully hit his shoulder. Loki laughed and let the fingers of his one hand play with Clint’s ear. “No!” he whined weakly and shrugged trying to stop him, not wanting to move too much for he felt…so comfortable. “Not there.”

“Why?” he demanded, his mouth against the sensitive lobe in seconds as he turned Clint’s face, giving himself more access to that side of Barton’s throat.

“It tickles…” he breathed and then gave a soft moan, his fingers flexing into Loki’s back. The noise Loki made in response rumbled against his chest and made him arch a bit. “Remember when you’d just fuck me into a coma?” he sighed heavily, “Yeah, me too.”

Loki forced a laugh as he pulled away from his ear to kiss his temple. “It was very…unromantic of me,” he said almost guiltily.

“That wasn’t the word you were going to use,” he commented and turned his head to look at him, reaching out clumsily in his mind as he tried looking for what the god was thinking. Loki felt him and pulled those thoughts back into his own space. He wasn’t fast enough for Clint saw a glimpse of a conversation they had had earlier. He frowned, “What does that have to do with us?”

“Nothing,” Loki said quickly and then moved up onto his hands and knees. “I –”

“What does my childhood have to do with…” he stopped as the answer came to him. Loki sat up quickly; his confidence had blown out faster than the flame of a candle in a hurricane. Clint followed him up. “You can’t honestly think that?”

“Think what?” he asked looking down at his hands, beating himself internally over the head for letting his thoughts wander so free.

“That what we did under the Tesseract’s thing was rape?”

“Wasn’t it?” he flinched as he voiced his thoughts and chanced a glance up at him.

Clint shook his head. “No. Loki I wanted that all too. I wanted to sleep with you. I wanted you to keep me around. I didn’t know that I wanted some of the kinky and impressively mind-blowing things we did, but once they were over with I wasn’t getting in a line to complain they happened.”

“It was still…I should have asked,” he swallowed. “If I had known you…how you grow up –”

“Okay, don’t do this,” he pleaded and held up his hands. “Seriously, I know what I went through was royally fucked up and it was wrong for it all to have happened, but I’ve been through therapy and I know it’s not my fault and stuff. I’ve grown and learned from it, and as horrible as some of those events were – and I heard that thought, so ‘are’ is added in there now – I wouldn’t take them back. I wouldn’t be the person I am today. I wouldn’t be where I am if I hadn’t lived through that all.”

Loki swallowed again and looked up at him carefully. “I…I do not desire to do something that would…promote such a…an experience again.”

“Which is why we are going to communicate,” he nodded and moved his hands back and forth between them. “This is communicating. You have a concern, you voice it, I answer and explain, you say another thing, I tell you if it’s cool or not, then we agree things are solid and we go back to having wild rough sex.”

The god gave a small nod. “If that is what you want?”

It hit Clint then. “Is that why you’ve been a bit hesitant about sex?” Loki nodded. “Well stop it. Ya hear me? Right here and now, cut that shit out. I want to see that powerful passion I know you have,” he inhaled loudly and ran his hands along Loki’s chest excitedly. “Don’t you miss taking me with that fiery confidence?”

The trickster smirked and leaned forward, Clint moving back to lie on the bed as they kissed, all tongues and inhales as excitement pulled through their system, kick starting their engines. “Yes…” he whispered.

“Great, now seriously, fuck me.”

Loki laughed softly: one part nerves, one part relief. The mood changed and they began eagerly kissing one another; hands moving to run along soft toned skin as their tongues licked and teased. Clint wrapped his legs tightly around the god and moaned when Loki’s hand slid up the under part of one of his thighs and gripped just above his kneecap. Loki manoeuvred his other one down to where they both wanted and rubbed his thumb over his fingers to activate the spell.

He gently pushed the tip of his index finger into Clint’s hole. It squeezed down on him for a moment before relaxing. He worked his thumb over the muscles, and slowly eased his finger in deeper. Clint inhaled sharply and then groaned as he closed his eyes and just gave in to it all. He could feel Loki’s second finger just teasingly pressing at his entrance. It sent a jolt of sexual need right through him to land right between his loins and his ass. He felt his finger push more and he relaxed, arching a bit at it moved carefully in.

Loki’s mouth moved to his ear and he began pumping his slick two fingers in and out of Barton’s hole. For every suck or lick to the sensitive flesh, he bent his fingers and struck deeper into him. For every soft pant or tickling gentle stream of air to tease the archer, he spread them on the way out.

Barton moaned. Loki moaned to egg him on. Barton moaned again and shifted: one hand landed at the back of the god’s neck to pull his face up for another kiss, the other sliding down to rub at his perineum with his first two fingers, the others brushing at Loki’s. The mage moaned and Clint smiled and moaned to rile him up more.

The archer’s motions helped relax his muscles further and Loki was able to get a third one in. He skipped the teasing pleasantries and went straight for stretching Clint. He pushed his fingers in and opened them, keeping them spread and moved them a bit in a circular motion. He relaxed them and then opened them again, this time jiggling his hand a bit. Clint whimpered in delight and slipped the tip of his pinky inside of himself, trying to help speed things along.

Loki smirked and kissed him, doing the actions a few more times before he pulled his fingers out and sat back. He paused for a moment and stared at the archer.

“Yes?” he panted up at him.

“I…I wish to instruct you,” he explained, still a little uncertain, as he flicked his fingers clean.

“Yes, tell me what you want,” he begged and moved a bit in excited anticipation. “Tell me what to do, command me, I want this _right_ now.”

He nodded and embraced his desires. “Up,” he ordered. Clint sat up quickly, his smile helped ease the worry the god knew he needlessly held onto. He grabbed the short locks on Clint’s head and jerked his head to the side, moving forward on his knees and presented him his member as he pulled him down to it.

The archer exhaled as he used his tongue to coax the almost ready erection into his mouth. He sucked and bobbed his head, closing his eyes for a moment to savour the decadent richness of Loki’s silky-firm length and the slightly bitterness of the pre-cum made his mouth water. The trickster let out a whimper and swallowed as he let go of Clint, drawing back his hands to run through his own hair as he fixed the loose tie into a messy bun. The moment after he’d set his hands back on Clint’s head he let out a shout of surprise; hot primal need racing through him.

He stared down at Barton’s smirking eyes, as he pulled back to lick his swollen mouth with his mocking little tongue, a pleased tiny curl at the corner of his lips. Loki traced those wet soft lips, the archer’s devious tongue flicking out to suck them in. “How did you manage that?” he swallowed.

“What?” he mumbled innocently looking up at him and sucked Loki’s long fingers further into his mouth, deep throating them the way he would his member.

It had felt unlike anything he had experienced before and he knew from the slight wetness to Clint’s eyes it wasn’t something he could do for long periods of time. The god pulled his fingers out quickly and fisted Barton’s hair, pulling him down to his erection again. “How did you manage that?” he, timidly, demanded.

Clint chuckled and licked up the side of it. “Lots of practice and a man I dated from South Korea,” he looked up at him triumphantly and then began repeating his action from before. He worked is mouth up and down his length, before swallowing him down. He pressed his nose into the god’s skin and relaxed his jaw, manoeuvring his tongue out to flick at Loki’s sac.

The god made that noise again, this time the sight enhanced his urges. The way the archer’s throat muscles tightened and the heat from his mouth – Loki carefully pulled Clint back away from his erection and pushed him against the mattress, using a hand to coat his member with lubrication before pressing it against his tight hole.

Clint shivered and let out a small huff of air as he smiled and reached in between his spread legs to grab at Loki’s hips. The god slipped in and began moving in and out, going deeper without permission or letting Clint adjust a bit beforehand. The archer moaned profoundly satisfied as the long awaited need of being filled in such a manner spiked through him. He curled his legs up higher and used his pelvic muscles to help draw Loki in further.

The god laughed and pushed at his thighs, bending him in two. “Deeper?”

“Yes,” he breathed and let his hands fall above his head as he made a weak effort to arch off the bed with a needy low groan.

“Deeper?”

“Yes!” he gasped and stretched a bit with delight.

Loki pulled almost all the way out, keeping only the head and a little bit extra still clenched by Clint’s sphincter muscles, before moving his hips in short hard jerks. Barton let out a cry of unexpected joy. He gripped Loki’s forearms and arched off the bed a little as the god teased his sensitive entrance. Loki aimed his thrusts up and slightly to the left, one hand moving to hold Barton’s hip still as he jerked forward a few more times and then pushed in almost all the way and began pumping his hips quickly down the centre.

“Oh fuck yes!” Clint sobbed as his toes curled and he squirmed for more, pleasure jolting through him. Loki felt the bond pull at their minds and he ignored it, for a while, as he repeated the procedure he had done before. This time Clint whimpered and pulled at the sheets as he fought to hang on to the edge he was being pushed roughly off of.

Loki slid deep within him and pushed harder. Clint gasped and threw his head back, his hands flying to grip the god’s wrists, his fingers and nails digging bruises. He let out loud guttural grunts as with each thrust Loki pushed the air from his body to make way for the itching delightful needs he was so addicted to.

The mage pulled out and repeated his teasing actions again, waiting until the last possible moment before he let his mind collide with Clint’s. He thrusted forward and buried himself completely in the archer’s tight heart-pounding heat. He could feel the phantom push within his own body and he lost all sense of control.

They ploughed forward and pleaded for harder, deeper, yes, more! Mouths tried to drink in the keening and delicious grunts and groans of frustrating bliss. Hands tangled into sheets and hair and dug into skin and the bedding. Together they pulled out to the tip, giving a dozen sharp thrusts and then pushed forward, moving on and on. They felt the spiking crawl of orgasm work its way up their body, not bothering to hold it back as they normally would. They came as one, loudly and with a violent shivering jerk. They continued to thrust, even though their sporadic spasming sphincter muscles made pushing forward a little difficult, it still felt fantastic to have their tight walls stroked and sensitive hole stretched as they milked their hot seed out. They slowed, their limbs shaking as they fought to hang on, hold each other close…

When the bond released them to their own singular bodies, Loki found his face pressed into Clint’s neck, a hand gripping one of archer’s firm cheeks, the other tucked under and across his back, his fingers stiff as they uncurled from gripping his shoulder. Barton had an arm thrown over his eyes as he shook and arched a bit with a small moan, his other one holding Loki’s hip tightly, his legs spread out limp to the side.

The god moved, his body trembling as he kissed Barton’s chin. The archer brought their mouths together. Their hands moved to soothingly run along their backs and down to pull Barton’s legs around Loki more. They both let out soft content moans.

“You are going to be tremendously sore tomorrow,” Loki sighed against his lips.

“It’s worth it…” he shivered breathless as an after tingle swept over him. He shifted a bit and wrapped his arms around Loki’s neck. The god smirked and kissed him again. “I can feel that,” Clint whispered.

He hummed moving carefully onto his knees, raising his backside into the air as he pulled out of Clint. The archer gave a small soft “ah!” of surprise.

“Feel what?”

“That thought,” he chuckled. “The one about watching me sit down tomorrow.”

The god laughed and kissed Clint once more before he rose up and smoothed his hair back from his face. “You cannot deny if our places were reversed you would not also harbour the same delight.”

“No, I can’t,” he agreed with a soft laugh of his own as he sat up slowly. Loki moved out of bed and went into the bathroom, relieving himself quickly as Clint let his legs and body relax for a few moments. “Hey!” he called.

“Yes?” came Loki’s reply as he flushed the toilet and washed his hands.

“I still got my orgasm in the end,” he smiled looking up at the ceiling.

Loki shook his head and muttered, “Because I wished it…”

“What?’

“Nothing,”

Clint got up. “What was that?”

“I never said a thing.”

“I think you’re lying,” he said coming into the bathroom.

Loki was leaning over the edge of the tub, turning the faucets back and forth until the water was to his liking. “Do you?”

“Yeah, I know you are.”

“Oh dear,” he smirked and stepped into the bath, settling into the deep end with a sigh as he shook his hair free from the elastic tie. He flung it across the room and rubbed the already gathering warm water around his limbs.

“Hey you have to get out,” Clint said quickly and motioned for the door.

“Pardon?”

“Get up,” he waved his hands at the god and then shifted from foot to foot.

“Whatever for? I just settled down,”

“I have to pee,” he mumbled a bit embarrassed.

Loki narrowed his eyes at the archer. “Then do so,” he said flatly.

“I can’t with you in here.”

“Clint, I have seen you naked, I have seen you in the heat of passion, I have seen you bloodied and bruised, I have dealt with your gas, and your commentary. What is the problem with you relieving yourself before me now?”

“It’s weird?” he tried with a shrug. “I don’t know. I’ve never peed with someone in the same room before.”

“We both know that is untrue,” he replied and began lathering some of the body wash onto a wet cloth.

“Alright, but not…like this. Pissing in front of co-workers is different than doing it before you.”

“My back is turned to the seat. I am not interested or curious about how you manage your own waste functions. You have my word, I will not look.”

“It’s not that it’s…the noise and –”

“The Romans were never this finicky about their bodily habits,” he muttered rubbing the soapy cloth along his arms and chest.

“Seriously I’m going to wet myself,”

“You’ll probably shit yourself first.”

Clint ran his hand over his face. “I wasn’t going to – just please…I –”

“I am sorry for your unfortunate lack of control and needless embarrassment over something every living thing does.”

“Seriously?”

“Don’t sound so surprised. I know it’s hard to see nature and others around you with so much… _technology_ covering the true world.”

“No,” he stopped and gave a huff. “Just…just don’t judge me okay!?”

“Why, is there something concerning about having to relieve oneself after intercourse?”

“Shut up,” he sighed and hurried over to the toilet. He made sure that Loki was still turned away before he sat down and relaxed. It took a few seconds but surely enough his body got over it’s shyness and he was able to relieve himself.

It was weird. Sitting there doing a thing, he’d never paid much thought over before, in front of someone he knew. Yeah Loki was right, he’d used public restrooms; he’d peed in the S.H.I.E.L.D. showers; he’d gone in ‘streets’ or alley ways during missions in third world places; he’d been to jail and had to do his thing before other inmates, and shared a tent and boxcar with four others growing up…but they weren’t…Loki.

It just felt weird with him for some reason.

“Are you going to stay there and contemplate your loss or are you going to bath and prepare for bed?”

Clint jumped a bit and then shook himself back into the present. He gave his member a small shake, cleaned his backside, and then closed the lid before flushing. He rinsed his hands a bit and then flicked them at the god who was scrubbing at his legs.

Loki rolled his eyes with a sigh as the archer joined in him the water. “Childish,” he muttered.

“Yeah, well you’re stuck with me,” he replied and flicked more water at him before he dunked his head under the surface. He came up and shook his hair out as he wiped the water from his eyes.

“Was it as bad as what you anticipated?”

“Much worse actually,” he said and turned the water off now that the tub was almost full.

“Excellent,” the god laughed and threw the wash cloth at Clint’s back. He rubbed his hands along his body a bit and then relaxed back with a moan of content.

Clint grumbled under his breath and cleaned himself up before turning the water on and activating the handheld shower nozzle. He rinsed his upper half off and then wet his hair down before putting shampoo into it.

“We don’t have a lot,” Loki said softly and moved his fingers around as he played with manipulating the direction the water rolled around on his skin. “We shall be done unpacking before all of the others…”

“And?” he asked bending over and began rinsing his hair out.

“And…I…I was wondering if you wanted to…go out?”

Clint frowned and stopped for a moment, not sure he’d heard him correctly over the rushing water near his ears. “What?”

He shrugged not looking at him. “Out? In the city somewhere nice? Only the two of us?” He finally looked at him, the shy innocent expression made Clint fight to keep from laughing at how adorable he looked. “I am not certain of how Midgardian courting customs work, yet on Asgard people spend a day picnicking, or riding, or walking…sometimes they even visit a place that serves hot meals or sweets…”

Clint straightened with a small smile. “Like a date?”

“Well you don’t have to go if you’re opposed to the idea,” Loki snapped defensively, and looked away; a small flush appeared upon his cheeks.

Barton laughed. “You’re adorable.”

He frowned at him and shoved water in his direction, splashing the archer. “Be quiet,” he pouted angrily.

Clint finished rinsing his hair quickly and then moved to kneel before the god, the water only coming to his collar bones on that side of the tub. He set his hands on Loki’s knees, running them up his smooth thighs and chest as he shifted into his lap. “Has anyone ever told you that you’re amazingly cute when you try to cover up your blushing?” Loki glared at him before looking away a little upset and secretly flattered. Clint leaned in and kissed his heated pink cheek. “I’d love too.”

“What?” he asked shocked and stared at him confused.

“Go out tomorrow,” he smiled. “I’d loved to spend the evening with you out in New York. We never really got to see a lot of the city the other day, and even when we went to Walmart it wasn’t as though you saw anything really.” He leaned in and kissed him. “I want to show you my city.”

Loki grinned and lifted his hands to hold Clint’s face carefully. “Then tomorrow?”

“Yes,”

“After the move?”

“Yes,”

“Promise?” Loki asked bringing his lips right up to the archer’s.

“Promise,” he whispered and sealed it with a kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Personal Life Update (if you were wondering, if not that's cool. It's not your job to keep up with my life, but if you were curious):** **I GOT A JOB!** It's not an acting or a writing one, but it's a job! I can now obtain currency, save up, gtfo of this hell hole, be a real adult, and start trying to do life things! I'm pretty excited. The people I'm going to be working with seem really nice. The manager told me I had a great personality, which means a whole hell of a lot to me. I was just myself and honest. I don't understand why people told me to lie and act reserved and stuff during job interviews. I think not being yourself is weak. Don't be weak! BE YOURSELF! Be the strong person you are! Because you are!
> 
> Okay, I'm go to pass out now. I just wanted to post because I was super excited and couldn't think of anything else to do other than editing fanfiction as a way to get my emotions sorted out. I couldn't even knit I was so jittery! Still am.  
>  **  
> I hope you all have a tremendously fabulous and positively outstanding week!!!**


	35. Chapter 35

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you thank you thank you times infinity to the infinite power for all of your kudos, support, comments, kind words, etc, etc. You all are so tremendously wonderful and patient with me, I'm just beside myself with positive energy and excitement from it all. I adore each and every one of you.
> 
> I had a day off a little bit ago and decided to start editing this chapter, and since I got off work early yesterday I finished and can now post it!
> 
> All mistakes are my own, and I hope everything makes sense. There is a part where an Italian lady is speaking and I had to channel my paternal-grandmother with how to write out the way her words used to sound. I tried to keep it simple and dumbed down most of the extra sounds, but still I'm terribly sorry if that part doesn't make sense at all. 
> 
> Regardless, I hope you all enjoy this chapter!

\----------------------35----------------------

Moving day sucked. No matter who it was with, no matter how many people helped, no matter how organised one thought they had managed making everything, it was the worse day any being had to live through.

“Balls,” Clint sighed and tossed a trash bag full of linens onto the kitchen floor. He had already been done with the day before they had even opened the back of the moving truck.

“What the fuck!” Natasha hissed angrily going through a box.

“What?” he asked coming around the tiny island, which was more like a tall long side table on wheels that seemed to be getting in everyone’s way.

“My mug!”

“What?” he frowned confused. Of all the shit they had to worry about right that moment and she was panicking over a mug?

She sighed frustrated and moved the box away from her as she got up from off of the nicely black and white titled floor. “My mug is missing.”

“It’s not missing it’s just packed. I mean look!” he held his arms out to the many boxes around them. “We have a fortress of kitchen goods in this room alone, not to mention whatever is out in the hall waiting to come in here still. It’s around.”

“I put it with everyone else’s this morning. Everyone’s mugs are here, but mine.”

“Maybe Steve put it in another box for safety? Loki doesn’t even have a set mug yet so you can’t say –”

“Clint I will punch you right now,” she warned and moved several boxes to get at another that was labelled “more dishes”.

“Right now?” he challenged. She froze and gave him that look. The solid soul-chilling glare that said ‘you have three seconds of this life left before I chop you into little pieces’. He knew it wasn’t the place or time, but antagonising Natasha was way more interesting at that moment than what he was supposed to be doing. Besides, it got her to stop worrying about that stupid dollar store mug.

“Clint,” Bruce called from the door. “We’re moving the table.”

“Man,” he sighed and gave a small childish stomp. “Can’t you just Hulk up and do it?”

“It’s the glass one,”

“Mini-Hulk up?” he whined, yet went to go help them regardless of his protests. He really fucking hated the moving part of moving.

\-------------------------------------------------

“Midgard is odd,” Thor commented to Loki as they carried several of the older chairs from the front rooms to make way for the modern furniture.

“Why is this a surprise for you?”

He shrugged. “I thought they’d never change.”

“Well the indoor plumbing is better, and I won’t complain for some of the food, yet I agree,” he sighed nodding his head, “their need for separation, acute privacy, and material possessions leaves much to be desired,”

They set the chairs down in the back halls and dusted their hands.

“How are you feeling?” Thor asked looking him over.

Loki nodded slowly and carefully answered. “Better.”

“Yet not more?”

He gave a small sigh and looked around. “I am not ready to have this conversation. Not today. I don’t wish to provoke it.”

“Then it sleeps?” Thor asked, probably a little too excited which made him instantly feel guilty.

“Hey!” Tony called from the other room. “Who’s not currently doing something?”

Loki left his brother behind quickly, hoping he’d drop the subject for the rest of the day. “What is it?” he asked moving toward the billionaire.

“We have a few tables to bring in and a broken couch to take out,”

“Which would you prefer us to move?”

Tony thought about it for a moment. “The couch. It’s delicate and…” he took a moment and a deep breath before continuing. It cued Loki to know right away that this was no simple piece of furniture. “It belonged to my mother,” he said in such a sorrowful sincere way that Loki felt his chest ache in empathy. “There is a van where I’m putting some of the broken stuff to be sent off and fixed. I need it on there. They’re backing up now.”

“Consider it done,” Loki promised and only spared a small glance behind him to confirm Thor was following him.

“Pepper knows which one it is; there are a few chairs and a bed too. They’re outside on the lawn already.”

“Tony we need your help!” Steve called from further in the house.

\-------------------------------------------------

It took them the greater part of the rest of the day for their essentials to be moved in. The damaged furniture pieces and knickknacks where sent out, the new larger table was moved into the kitchen area, and the circular glass one to the dinning space.

They were all grateful that they had done quick plans of where everything was going to be earlier that morning. At 6am when everyone, except for Fury, Phil, Loki, Steve, and Natasha, were nursing coffee mugs and trying hard not to fall asleep on their feet, Tony had taken them through a fast mumbled tour. Phil translated the billionaire’s grunts and arm waving actions until Pepper arrived, and while they waited for the moving vans, they began looking around and picked out rooms.

Any room was available to them, but the master bedroom. Everyone had agreed that it properly and rightfully belonged to Tony, but that didn’t stop them from taking a few minutes to nose around it. Well everyone but Thor and Loki, who respectfully waited in the hall until they were formally invited in. This prompted a discussion about Asgardian customs regarding personal spaces and living quarters. Natasha declared herself Asgardian and warned all that she wouldn’t hesitate to take them down if they entered her room without permission.

The other rooms of the house varied between luxuriously spacious and a bit cramped. One side of the mansion was obviously meant for showiness and adults, while the other was meant to house children toward the far side front and household staff in the back portion.

Clint and Loki selected one that wasn’t very different in size to their own bedroom in the tower. It even had a nice bathroom, although the tub was smaller around wise and a tad shallower; however, its double sinks, nice toilet, linen space, and standing corner shower were perfect. There was even a bidet.

“A what?” Loki frowned down at the thing, a look of disgust on his features.

“A bidet, it’s like a special thing for washing out stuff.”

“Out _stuff_?” he asked suspiciously and part fearful it was joke to humiliate him.

Clint gave a sigh. “Like your genitals and ass.”

“Whatever for?” Loki made a face looking the thing over again.

“There’s a history, it was a popular thing at one point. It’s just a hygiene thing some cultures did. It was to help clean after using the rest room and preparing for sex and even after.”

“Why wouldn’t they just use cloths or take a bath?” It was Clint’s turn to look at Loki in that judging disgusted away. Loki held his gaze for a moment. “What?”

“Cloths?”

“It is no different than your Midgardian paper,”

“Cloths?”

“They are disposable and sanitary,”

“Cloths?”

“Your kind defecates into a shallow bowl of water,” he snapped back and left the room unhappily.

“Cloths?” Clint said again and followed him out.

“This is nice,” Natasha said coming in to look around the bedroom area.

“What’s wrong?” Steve asked when he noticed Loki’s sour mood and Clint’s look.

“Nothing,” the god quickly said and then opened a door just a few feet away from the French glass ones that lead into the bathroom. “What is this?”

“A walk in closet!” Natasha gasped and hurried past him inside. “Oh Steven I want one!” she whined and pawed at the many cabinets and wracks for clothing.

“I’m sure if we keep looking we’ll find one,” he said turning the light on.

“I want this one,” she pursed her lips out and turned around in slow circles looking the room over.

“It seems this one is spoken for,”

“No that’s fine,” Loki said holding up his hand as he backed out of the closet. “If she desires it I am sure –”

“No,” Clint and Steve said together: the archer’s a firm unwavering tone which said he wasn’t giving the room up without a serious fight and the soldier’s a pleading ‘don’t-give-in’.

“Look there is a dresser for jewellery! What would they need that for?” Natasha said with a pointed hostile glare over her pout that said ‘just-back-off-…please’.

“Loki has many jewels he cares for at home,” Thor said coming in to check the room out.

“You wear jewellery?” Clint frowned looking at the mage. “I mean I know you wear that necklace, but what else?”

“Ear clasps, bracelets, rings,” Thor listed off before his brother could answer.

“Really?” the two assassins gasped surprised.

Loki shrugged, “Is it not a common thing here?”

“Depends on the culture,” Steve explained.

Natasha turned back to the drawer, making a sad face before she sighed and left the closet as everyone backed out of her way. “Fine…let’s go look for another room…”

“Don’t you want to see the bathroom?” Steve asked.

“No, then I’ll really fall in love with it.”

“The bed’s nice,” Clint said giving it a small kick and then sat on it.

“Tony had many of them replaced yesterday. I think that’s one of the new mattresses. The frame I believe is original,” Bruce said poking his head into the room.

“THERE ARE TWO TOILETS!” Thor cried from the bathroom.

Natasha’s eyes widened as her head snapped toward the room and hissed, “A bidet!” She clenched her fists and quickly left muttering under her breath displeased.

“Brother, come look!” he shouted happily amazed. “Two tiny Midgardian toilets!”

“Actually, one isn’t a toilet,” Clint corrected and hurried into the bathroom to explain.

Loki rolled his eyes and covered his face with his hands. “Oh this is a nightmare. And the day hasn’t even begun!”

Bruce and Steve laughed. Tony’s voice called from below, announcing the movers arriving.

“Guess we should all head down and worry about this all later?” Steve suggested to Loki and Bruce.

The scientist nodded and then called for the other two. “Clint! Thor! Movers are here.”

“Seriously though,” Clint said to Thor as they left the bathroom. “Cloths?”

Loki made a noise and left the room quickly as his brother began explaining.

Now that most of that nightmare was over, they were gathered in the kitchen unpacking the dishes. Clint went over and sat in one of the chairs making a small face as his tender backside sank within the soft cushion. He had spent most of the day too bored and pissy to really notice just how sore he really was from last night’s activities.

“What’s wrong?” Bruce innocently asked as he unwrapped several plates and set them aside to be washed.

“Nothing,” he said quickly and opened the box he’d been carrying. “I think – I think I uh, I-I just lifted something wrong earlier. I’m fine.”

Loki smirked and handed over a rinsed glass to be dried by Natasha. She looked from Clint back to the god and then gave a small knowing sigh with a shake of her head as she handed the dry dish to Steve, who looked at her confused. She held up a hand that indicated they’d talk later about whether she was going to tell him or not.

“What are the plans for tomorrow?” Phil asked as he and Fury brought in the groceries they had packed from the tower.

“I guess finish moving whatever else we have too. I know most of the furniture there will stay and be moved around as they do repairs,”

“I can’t believe we’re not done,” Clint sighed and leaned back in the chair. “I’m tired.”

“Really? After everything you’ve ever been through in your life and this is the one thing that makes you tired?” Fury asked, his tone implied paternal disproval, but inside he was more than a little curious over the reply he’d get.

“Work is work…moving is hell.”

“Bad company,” Thor thoughtfully said with a firm nod of his head. “That is a real Hell.”

“Speaking of hell,” the archer sighed and pulled out the yellow-red lady-bug mug from the newspaper. “I found it!”

Natasha perked up and rushed to him. “Where?”

“In with the pots and pans,”

“Who did that!?” she hissed and snatched the mug up protectively as she turned it around looking for any indication it was damaged. Everyone kept their mouth shut instinctively and hurried with their work. They finished setting up the kitchen area and moved on to organising the living room. Once they’d decided where the chairs, couches, and tables went, they went to their own rooms.

Clint face planted into the crisp creamy sheets that smelled like clean money and overly priced laundry soap. “Uh!” he huffed.

Loki smirked and moved a few boxes so he could close the two doors for privacy. “Lady Pepper left us…hangers?” he said lifting one of the nice plastic purple devices from a bag near the closet. “I assume they are like the poorly made ones from the store?”

“Yep,” he replied, his voice muffled by his face being smooshed into the bed.

Loki gave a small laugh and opened the closet, flipped the light on, and began sorting and hanging their things. “Which side do you prefer?” Clint said something into the bed again. “I can’t hear you from in here.”

“I said ‘doesn’t matter’,” he repeated lifting his face.

“Very well, I shall set all of yours in a box out in the back and light it on fire.”

“What!?”

“Mustn’t have you in so many clothes,” he continued in his joking manner as he started hanging his items with the green hangers and Clint’s with the purple. “Like I’ve stated before, clothing is a crime upon your being.”

“See now, I don’t know if you’re joking or being serious,” Clint said coming to lean against the doorframe. Loki smirked at him as he set some shirts onto the top wrack on the left side. “Joking, that’s your joking smile.”

“Is it?”

The archer narrowed his eyes at him and reached out in the bond searching for an answer. Loki kept his true feelings tucked a bit away and opened a drawer to sort their foldables into. “Fine play your games,” Clint warned wagging a finger as he turned away. “Just be sure to leave two drawers opened for future things.”

Loki frowned. “What things?”

“Sexy things?”

Loki deepened his frown. “What things?” he repeated a bit more carefully.

“Y’know,” the archer shrugged and walked away.

Loki sighed as he got up and followed him out. “No, I don’t believe I do.”

“Like clothes and stuff.”

“Clothes?” he shook his head perplexed. “What does that have to do –”

“Are you telling me that you are like five billion years old and you’ve never worn lingerie?”

“I beg your pardon!” Loki gasped appalled. “I most certainly am not anywhere close to five billion! I am not even close to a hundred thousand!”

Clint’s brain went into panic mode. He turned and rushed to the god fumbling over his words. “I meant like one thousand –”

“One thousand!? Do I look a child to you now?” he snatched up a box that was filled with shoes and went into the closet, half amused over Barton’s reaction and half a little insulted.

“I’m – I’m an idiot! I don’t know time or age stuff there! As far as I’m concerned you’re probably in your late twenties to early thirties by Earth standards,” he ruffled up his hair all worked up and went to the god, who was stuffing clothes into a drawer with a pout upon his face. He reached out to touch him and then thought better of it. “What can I do to fix this? Just say it and I’ll do it.”

Loki was a silent for a moment before he smirked and closed the drawers he’d left opened. He leaned against the side of the shoe racks and looked directly at Clint. “I want…” he thought about it for a bit and then smiled, “I want a…show,” he nearly purred at the idea.

“Done.”

“I want it done well,” he insisted.

“It will be.”

“Clothing removal, preparation, and self-induced climax.”

“Fine, alright, and hell yes!”

“Yet you only cum when I tell you to,” Loki warned holding a finger up.

Clint took two milliseconds to think about it and then nodded. “Agreed.”

“Perfect,” he smiled and gently grabbed at Clint’s chin as he sealed their deal with a kiss. He patted his cheek and went back to work. The archer took a deep breath of relief and melted against the wall. “While you’re standing there,” the god added and tossed him a wad of underwear. “Remember if we finish quickly, we still have plans for this evening.”

They did? The archer frowned for a second as he thought. They did! Clint jumped into action and immediately began helping him sort and organise their shared closet space.

\-------------------------------------------------

It was chilly and Loki was glad he’d talked Clint into wearing a jacket with a hood. He pulled it up around the archer’s head before they left the premises.

“This isn’t fair; you’re only wearing a sweater.”

“It is a thick sweater. I am also wearing several clothing layers under it and let’s not forget that I am not human.”

“Yeah but you have to be cold or something,”

“It is a bit nippy, yet nothing I cannot handle.”

Clint felt a surge of self-hate from the god and a thought suddenly occurred to him. The word _Jötunn…_ drifted across his head and he hurried to keep it from moving out for Loki to sense.

He wouldn’t have anyways, he was far too excited with the promise of exploring the city to be listening or feeling in for small emotional imbalances. He grabbed Clint’s hand and they headed off. “Where will this take us?” he asked pointing to the sidewalk they were currently walk along.

“Well there is a subway station not too far from here, we can go down and travel, or if we continue straight we’ll land right at the park.”

“The park?”

“Yeah, Central Park,”

“What is that?”

“It’s a park in the central area of the city.”

Loki rolled his eyes. “A _park_ , Clint. What is a park? I don’t know what one is,” he said and bounced a bit excitedly. “Is it where your king lives?”

“Earth doesn’t have a king,”

Loki raised an eyebrow and made a face that suggested he was thinking something he probably shouldn’t have. And he was.

“Earth is different now,” Clint said and nudged him a bit, loving the images of Loki ruling supreme over his own country during the day and dominating him in the evenings. “Do you remember when I explained to you that Fury wasn’t our king, nor the woman on the cover of the French magazine was the queen of the realm?”

“Yes,” he nodded recalling it.

“Humans have broken off into groups and fractions and other crazy political bullshit things that separate us from each other in order to maintain an identity. Basically each region governs itself.”

“Like the dwarves or giants?”

“Uh…I guess?”

“Then what makes this ‘park’ so special?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well it’s in the centre of the city yes?”

“Yes,”

“Anything that is in the centre of something generally makes it important. Take for instance the royal gardens are in the centre of the main palace which is in the centre of the city which is at the centre of the realm of Asgard. Or at least the top half of the realm. Location is key when societies are building.”

“I guess what makes it special is…it’s a park?” he shrugged. “There aren’t many places or things here that grow, as you can see. Even though it’s cold, this city is…a city. It’s industrial. It’s brick, concrete, glass, and pollution. Central park is an area where people can get away from that all, sit on the grass or a bench, watch the water, look at a tree, and pretend they’re not in…this city.”

“So a ‘park’ is the Midgardian equivalent of a garden?” he asked thoughtfully.

“Uh, I guess. I mean we have gardens on Earth too. They’re just not always big. They’re like for growing some flowers to make the yard look nice or to save money buying vegetables from the store.”

“Why would they need to save money? Is your food not provided and separated among everyone by class and need?”

“Uh…no it’s more like ‘how much can we grow? How fast? How much can we make from it? How can we screw people over because of their need for it?’; honestly Midgard’s not so great in some aspects.”

“I think it’s fascinating,” he shrugged and stopped as they neared the park. “Oh…” he sighed and looked around. “Is this it?”

“Yeah this is it,” he laughed a bit taken back by the god’s general and overwhelming excitement over the whole ordeal.

“Must we request special permission to enter it?”

“No, it’s open to everyone almost all day long,”

“Then it closes?”

“Yes,”

“When does it close?”

“After midnight, I think. It opens again a few hours later, but I mean,” he shrugged. “I’ve never been checked for going through it late at night.”

“What is there to see?”

“Well trees,”

Loki flared his nostrils and gave Clint a look. “What else?” he sighed impatiently.

“There are playgrounds and statues. You might not be able to see them as well, it’s pretty dark.”

Loki nodded, “Very well, we shall return at dawn,” he decided and turned to march away.

“Or another day at a decent time,” Clint laughed and grabbed his arm so as not to lose him. “How about we window shop around until we find something interesting to look into and, while we’re looking at things, find a place to eat along the way?”

“Very well,” Loki agreed with a smile. “Show me your city at night.”

They wondered up and down the streets for a while, looking into the store windows when something caught their eye, going into a few, mainly bookstores, to buy several items, all the while holding hands and chatting about the night and the city until they found a small Italian restaurant. Loki had paused in front of it to sniff a bit. He had done this several times before at other places, however, Clint took the five extra seconds, and the god’s curious gaze as he looked it over, as a sign Loki was interested and suggested they go in.

It was cosy, not too big, yet not too small, and an obviously family-owned place. Before they got in line to wait for a table Clint looked Loki up and down. “Are you fancy under that frumpy thing?”

Loki punched his arm playfully. “Frumpy, honestly?” he sighed and shook his head. “Yes, I have a nice long sleeve shirt on. Are you ‘frumpy’?” he tried the word out and decided he liked the way it worked in his mouth. Clint enjoyed the way he said it very much.

“No, I have a good looking button down,”

“The blue one?”

“Yes,”

“Excellent,” Loki smiled.

“Hello!” a kind older _very_ looking Italian female in an elegant black dress said as she came over to greet them. “Welcome to aPatsy’s! How many youa have?”

“Just us two,” Clint answered quickly.

“Wonderful, doa you need to checka your coata?”

“No I’ll keep it in my lap out of the way, thank you though,”

“Alrighta, please afollow me ah, okay?”

They were lead further into the restaurant and seated at a nice little table; one seat was attached to the wall as a booth and the other a chair. Clint offered Loki the booth for his comfort and took the chair, not that it wasn’t also comfortable, but he knew the god would feel more at ease in the booth and not in an aisle with people walking around him. They both removed their outerwear and set it across their laps.

“My name is ah Angeline, or ah Angie. What may Ia get youa both for a drinka?” she asked giving them menus to look at.

_Wine?_ Loki asked.

_Red?_

_Yes please._

“We’ll have two waters, no ice, and two glasses of wine.”

“Ah yes, good. Here is our list,” she said holding it out for him to see.

He quickly scanned the wines and found what he was looking for, “Santa Margherita Merlot, please.”

“Bottle ora glassa?”

“Bottle,”

“Alrighta, I’lla be righta back with youra drinks, okay?”

“Thank you,” Clint and Loki both said before turning to their menus.

After a few moments, Loki’s eyes began to wander around the room. The wall of mirrors on the far side helped give the room a more opened feeling and the soft lights from above created a toasty and homey atmosphere. He studied the pictures on the walls around them until Angie returned with a man in a white tux holding a tray.

“Water,” she poured the chilled and iceless liquid into the squat glasses pre-set on the table, and then gave the serving decanter over in exchange for the bottle. “Winea,” she presented with a smile and poured them a decent amount, before setting it down within easy reach for both on the table, “and somea bread to share, yes?” she set the food down and put her hands together as she looked at them with a warm smile. “Doa you aboth need a minute or are youa ready?”

Clint looked at Loki who made a small jumping motion, as though he had been startled, and then began hurriedly looking over the menu. He smiled at Angie, “I think we’ll need another minute. It’s his first time here.”

“Ah! Well comea then! Extra welcome!” she smiled and held out her hands in greeting toward Loki, almost as if she expected to hug him. “Is therea anything you ahave a question about ah?”

“Yes, what is this?” he asked pointing to a word.

“Mozzarella?” she frowned reading it and then straightened. “Ah, it’s acheese. Very very anice ah. Kind of ah…soft and amelts well. Creamy and agooey. It’s good.”

“It’s good trust me,” Clint agreed.

“Havea you never ahad ah Italian food before ah?” she asked curiously.

“Uh…no, I’m…not from around here,” Loki confessed.

“I figure. Youra accent gave it away,” she laughed and touched her index finger to her temple knowingly. “Ia woulda have thought they’da have Italian food in ah England, or at least amozzarella!”

“Uh…” Loki looked to Clint for help.

“He’s from Norway,” he explained quickly.

“Ah! Ah little further anorth then, ah?” she laughed. “Well Benvenuto a America and mya family’s culture. I promise youa won’t regret it.”

“You won’t,” Clint agreed.

“What is your favourite then?” Loki asked the woman and pointed to the menu.

“Mine? Ahhh,” she thought about it for a moment. “It’s an atie betweena the Tortellini and an aFettuccine.”

Loki looked and read the small descriptions of each several times before looking away to consider the matter further. Clint watched him make the face. The one he only made when he was thinking deeply over a matter. It involved his mouth opening a bit and his eyes drifting to the ceiling, as if the answers where hidden away up there in the lights or the corners.

Clint leaned in to the woman a bit and whispered, “We’re going to need a minute or two.”

“Alrighta,” she smiled and turned to the waiter next to her, gesturing for him to leave. “I’lla return, okay ah?” she promised and left.

“What’s on your mind?”

“They both have mushrooms,” he sighed thoughtfully as he looked back down at the menu and propped his chin up on his fist as he set his elbow on the table.

“You like mushrooms,”

“I do…that’s the problem,” he half pouted as he continued to think it over.

“Well do you want a little or a lot of meat?”

“Meat,” he replied simply.

Clint chuckled. “I feel you leaning toward the Tortellini.”

“I might fall into it I’m leaning so far over.” They both laughed and looked at each other.

Loki bit his lip and set his menu down. “I’m enjoying this,” he confessed softly, a little hesitation in his voice, yet there was also a small shining quality of pride in himself for having confessed his feelings.

“Yeah? Wait until you eat the food,”

Loki chuckled and shook his head as he looked around. There were families and warm welcomes all around. It made him feel as though he were back on Asgard at a private family banquet. Well…at least one held by a strongly rooted Vanir one. The good cheer, the average chatter volume, the laughs, the shouts of protest and teasing, the intimate touching…it made him ache for home a bit.

He was lying when he told himself a bit. It was a well of sickness he didn’t fully understand. His mood dropped as he realised how wrong the end of that original thought was. It made him ache for a home he wished he still had. Wished he’d ever had. Asgard had been a lie and Vanaheim was never part of his roots. Jötunheim was where he had been birthed and abandoned; yet if there was anything left of it, they would sooner tear him to pieces than welcome him in such a loving manner.

His whole thought process left a bitter taste in his mouth and heart and it made him a little ill to his stomach over the entire ordeal. He promptly put it aside before it could awaken the darkness.

Angie returned. “Alla seta, yes?”

“Yes.” Clint gestured to Loki, “After you.”

“Oh, um,” he said opening the menu again and pointed out what he wanted. “I’ll have the…Tortellini Bolognese, please,” he said fumbling over the pronunciation.

“Ah Okay good. Verya good.” She smiled and gave his arm a small nudge to show he had done well sounding the words out. “Natural ah soundsa. Likea the musica. Here.” She tapped to her chest. Loki realised she was giving him pointers on the language. He knew what she was telling him. The words had to come from the heart. From the soul. He hid a grin and tried not to blush in embarrassed pride at her praise and openness to teach him.

“Anda you sir?”

“The manicotti,” Clint answered and handed over his menu. Loki quickly copied him.

“Anything toa starta with?” she offered.

“Nah, we’ll just talk and wait, thank you though,” Clint smiled opening his napkin to set onto his lap before taking some bread from the basket. He tore off a small chunk to nibble on.

“Ah Okay, youra fooda willa be ah ready ina little bita,” she smiled at them both before leaving again.

Loki smiled and picked up his wine, gently swirling it a bit before sniffing it. “Is that vanilla I smell?”

“Yep,”

He sniffed it again. “This isn’t all grape? Or…hardly any sort of?”

“Nope,” he took a drink of his own and gave a light smack of his lips. “But it’s my favourite to drink here.”

Loki took a small taste and nodded his head. “There is a flower in here, yes?”

“I guess,” he shrugged buttering a small bit of bread and ate it.

The god rolled his eyes before taking another taste. “There is. I don’t know what it is, but I can taste it.”

“Super looks and super taste buds,” he hummed impressed.

“Well I _am_ a god,” he shrugged and took one more small taste before setting it down. “Elegant. We must stock up.”

“I’ll put it on the grocery list,” he grinned and gave a little slice of bread he’d buttered over to Loki. “Here, eat.”

“What is it?”

“What does it look like? Bread, eat it,” he laughed still holding it out insistently.

Loki opened his napkin and smoothed it out quickly over his lap before reaching out to take it. Clint pulled his hand back to show he wasn’t going to surrender it that way. Loki’s heart skipped a beat and he took a moment to pull himself together from the shock of the act. He rubbed his fingers together as he brought them away from the bread and leaned forward carefully hesitant. Clint’s smile widened and he held it out more for him and helped him take a taste of the dairy covered carb. Loki nodded his head as he brought his hand up to quickly catch anything that may fall as he pulled away to chew. “It’s nice,” he commented impressed. It was just a simple bit of butter and bread, yet there was a subtle sweetness to the hearty loaf and the butter was whipped to a lightness with a just barely a whisper of cinnamon and sugar.

“Yeah?” Clint raised his brows, excited to hear more.

“Yes, I like it. Softer than what I am used too. Do the, um,” he cleared his throat and gestured with his hand at the people who were working there.

“Italians,” Clint offered taking a bite of the bread. Loki didn’t let the fact Clint turned it to eat at the end the he’d just bitten from go unnoted.

“Yes, do the Italians also share bread over meals?”

“Pretty much. Their foods are very rich in tomatoes, cheeses, oils, and carbs. They eat a lot of fruits and vegetables in Italy too, but most of their more tastier dishes and traditions never made it completely over the ocean.”

“So it is a place here on Midgard?”

“Yes, we were in it for a few hours. You were asleep, I do believe.”

“Now I’m upset,” he made a disappointed face and then took a piece of bread for his own to butter and consume at leisure.

“We’ll go again,”

“Promise to wake me up this time?”

“Yes,” he said with a smile.

“Have you eaten here before?”

“Yes, a long time ago.”

“I thought it a bit odd you just letting me wander into a place,”

“Well you’d wander in somewhere whether I told you to or not. I saw the sign and knew we were pretty safe.”

“Only pretty?” he challenged lightly.

“Yes, I would have pulled you out otherwise.”

“And if I refused and went in regardless?”

“I’d have left you to find this place,”

Loki gasped. “You’d leave me?”

“Yep,”

“Oh you liar,” he scolded. “You wouldn’t dare.”

“Walk into a place when I tell you not to and find out,” he grinned a bit shyly up at him.

Loki returned the look and then cleared his throat as heat fanned up inside of him. He crossed his long legs off to the side a bit as his stomach fluttered nervously. “So…this is officially our first outing as an unofficial couple.”

“Official,” he corrected and popped a bit of bread into his mouth.

Loki gave him a look, “Unofficial by my culture, which matters more in this sort of cosmological affair.”

“Alright,” he held up his hands in surrender.

“What do Midgardians normally do on couple outings?”

“Dates?”

“Today is Wednesday,” Loki replied quickly and matter-of-factly.

Clint laughed. “No, they’re called ‘dates’ here.” Loki gave him another look, this one registering more on the, ‘Idon’t fully understand that, however I’ll leave it for now’ end of the confused scale. “So yeah, _dates_ normally involve this,” he gestured to their table and around, “where the couple goes out for a nice meal, a walk, a movie or show, something to help get them over little nervous speed bumps and they get to know each other better.”

“Do they speak of shared interests?”

“Yes, and dislikes. Sometimes about hobbies, favourites, ideas, and what they’re reading or currently doing. It’s like what we’d do at home, minus the not living together all the time bit.”

“Ah, so…” he took a breath and smoothed out the napkin in his lap. “What are…” he cleared his throat timidly. “What are your likes and…things?”

Clint smirked. “You’re adorable.”

“What?” he demanded, a little taken aback at the reaction.

“Nothing,”

“What? I’m only trying to do this properly,”

“And it’s adorable,”

Loki rolled his eyes and muttered a bit under his breath as he stuffed bread into his mouth.

“Well you know I like archery. You know I like jokes, and games, and some not so great table friendly topics.” Loki smirked at his word choice and nodded. “Okay, um…I love any shade of the colour purple and huntery earthy natural greens.”

“And you called my sweater frumpy,” Loki furrowed his brows at him.

He sheepishly smiled. “I also love teasing you.”

Loki hummed and nodded as he set his elbow on the table and rested his hand on his neck so he could lean in a bit. “Carry on. Where were you born? Here?”

“No, Iowa,”

He frowned. “Is that far?”

Clint laughed. “Yeah, kind of. I’ll show you on a map.”

“What else?”

“Well you know I had a brother. Charles, or Barney. We spent most of our young lives together. We left the circus together even. Well we left _that_ circus and went right into a smaller one, but for much better living conditions,” he made a face realising the topic was teetering dangerously close to a cliff. “So um yeah, you? What about you?”

“Hmmm” he thought about it, his eyes lifting to the ceiling again for several moments before he’d gathered enough words. “I enjoy reading, I like theatre and art. I love making things and cooking. My brother is Thor and my favourite colour, honestly, is blue.”

“No way!”

“Yes,”

“Just any blue or a specific shade?”

“I rather enjoy lighter blues or ones with a little green in them,”

“Did you wear a lot of blue before you switched to green and black?”

“No, not really,” he said supressing a small sigh. He covered it with a light hearted, half-empty, laugh.

Clint felt that ripple again: the one which felt as though Loki were trying to hold something very personal and extremely painful back with practiced restrain. “I’m sorry,” he said quietly.

“For?” he furrowed his brow confused.

“For bringing up something painful,”

“Asking me what I once wore is not a painful subject,” Loki tittered nervously trying to play it off. He saw that Clint wasn’t buying it so he quickly sat up and took a deep drink of his wine. “What is your favourite stone?” he said after a minute.

“Stone?”

“Yes,”

“Uh…the kind you get from off the ground?”

Loki rolled his eyes with a gentle smile, “No, I meant gemstones.”

“Oh! Oh, I like…garnet, kind of. Not as much as I like Amethyst…oh wait that’s a crystal. Hang on,” he licked his lips and sighed thinking very hard as he frowned down at the table, “Aquamarine is a crystal too isn’t it?”

“They are considered both. A gemstone refers to a gem or a crystal; however, crystals cannot be termed as a gem. The difference being, crystals are substances which consist of molecules arranged in geometric patterns from more solid materials, extended in fixed patterns across three dimensions, and gems are mineral or organic bases and classified according to chemical composition and crystalline structure. Crystals are classified in shapes: hexagonal, cubic, tetragonal, etcetera, etcetera. Gems come in various colours whereas the colour of a crystal depends on how light transmits through it.”

Clint stared at him for a few moments and then swallowed slowly as the jolt of arousal frizzled and faded within him. “I…really love it when you…talk like that,” he confessed and cleared his throat as he shifted in his seat.

Loki let his lips shift into a small grin and he rubbed at the front of his neck a bit shyly. “So they are both considered gemstones,” he swallowed and looked down at his plate. “But, um,” he cleared his throat a bit. “Go on, what else?”

“Uh…Turquoise,” he licked is lips and shook himself to clear his head. The last thing he needed was dinner and a boner…well in public at least. “Uh…Cat’s Eye…Agate…” he nodded a few times. “I think that’s it.”

“We have a great many in common,”

“Really?” He felt so relieved for some unknown reason.

“Yes, I’ll add Amber and Lapis Lazuli in exchange for your agate and garnet though.”

“Hermanite? That’s one right? Chills people out?”

“Hematite, yes it does have a reputation for holding a calming effect over people. It also is used for protection, healing, love, and improving personal relationships. There are other things that follow it as well; however, these are the most valued traits.”

“You know a lot about rocks,”

Loki smiled at him thoughtfully, “The earth holds much power.”

“So you use rocks for magic and stuff?”

“One may use rocks to help tap into or enhance power, or to use their own inert powers upon the wearer or carrier.”

“Is this something you learned in Norse God elementary school?”

Loki frowned and tilted his head a tad confused. “I am a prince; I did not attend classes in the city.”

“Asgard has public schooling?”

“Everyone is educated on Asgard, however there are limits.”

“Such as?”

“Class, position, money or bartering are factors. The city is broken into sections; the further from the centre, the less likely they are to receive the most education offered for free. All Asgardians are gifted the basics at no cost. The outer parts must pay for anything after that. Since they are the ones that work the fields, they normally do not. They feel it is pointless to teach their children another language when they spend their lives tilling earth. The next tier receives another language, and a secondary mathematics for a decent cost, since they are mainly traders and trappers. The middle class has two languages, third level mathematics, and secondary history and maybe politics for certain prices based off of needs.”

“The upper class gets everything else no cost?”

“No, the royals receive everything for a lower cost. The tutors double as advisors so the small amount they are paid for teaching only helps their regular salary, doesn’t hinder.”

“That’s crazy…genius.”

“My mother fixed the system,” Loki proudly said eating more bread. “The prices are fair so that if someone wishes to learn and better their lives, all they need to do is try.”

“So what are the basics?”

“Addition, subtraction, calculating taxes, multiplying, fractions, measurements, grammar, spelling, reading, writing,” he shrugged. “The things that someone would need to live a simple life.”

“What’s the difference between history and secondary history?”

“Basic is origins and about Asgardian culture. Secondary and other higher levels are all minor battles with details and specifics of why and how.”

“Alright, so my next question is: what’s the difference between a stone and a gemstone?”

“Stone refers to any form of rock; gemstone is a specific type of rock which possesses three qualities: beauty, rarity, and durability. There are degrees in each quality upon which a rock is judged and then labelled.”

“But there are a lot of rocks that are beautiful that are not made out of diamonds.”

“True, however when referring to gemstones, the owner is thinking mainly of jewellery or spells. Yes, one could use regular rocks they find attractive from anywhere on the ground; however, their crystalline patterns might not be smooth enough to conduct through. It is risky and should only be used by those skilled enough to know what they are doing and have time. With crystals or gems, the necessary patterns are already there and many have researched and experimented upon them enough so that we know what they can and cannot be used for. Less risk, easier casting, and the colours add extra appeal.”

“Alright, so how many languages do you know?” Loki made a face then. “What?” Clint asked, worried he’d said something wrong or had asked too many questions.

“When I say languages I don’t…I don’t mean such as what you have here…I mean…” he thought and searched for a word. It took him a few moments but he found one he thought came close. “I mean interpretations.”

Clint narrowed his eyes at him for several seconds before he opened his mouth to further question him.

“Ah excuse me,” the male waiter from earlier said as he stood before them holding their meals. “I do not mean to interrupt,”

“No, not at all,” Clint said and moved his bread plate aside, Loki mimicked the action.

“The manicotti,” the waiter said setting the steaming beautiful dish down before the archer. “And the Tortellini Bolognese,” he said setting the mouth-watering dish before Loki. “Is therea anything more youa twoa require? Ah bread maybe?”

“Nothing but bread,” Clint smiled and picked up his knife and fork.

The waiter gave a small bow. “Mangia! Enjoy!” he called before leaving.

They both thanked him and began into their meals. “This is fantastic!” Loki moaned and quickly stuffed several more bites of the meat filled rounded pastas he cut up into his mouth. “And so much!” he said over his mouthful.

“Italians go big or don’t do at all. They are a culture that loves food and loves to feed.”

“Asgardians would very much take to them kindly,”

“Indeed,”

“Best keep Thor from here,” Loki nodded and then added, “And the country,” before popping more into his mouth.

Clint laughed. “Yes, I agree.”

“Morea breada,” the waiter returned and set the new basket down onto the table.

“Thank you,” they said again.

“Everything isa good?”

“Yes,” they nodded.

“Very,” Clint added.

“Excellent,” Loki hummed and continued to eat with great enthusiasm.

“Okaya, good. Mangia,” he said once more with great relish before leaving.

“This is the most I’ve ever seen you eat,” the archer laughed.

“Watch it. Your plate is next,” Loki warned with a playful smile as he licked his lips.

“I’ll fight you to the death,”

“Deal,” he grinned as he swallowed and drink some of his wine. It refreshed his pallet so that when he took the next bite, it was as if it were a brand new dish.

They ate with a few more witty remarks thrown between them, both of them a bit too busy enjoying their meal to properly tease or think up comebacks on the spot. When their plates were empty, and Loki had mopped his clean with a little bread, they sat back to rest and spoke about what they should get for the room and how to arrange it.

“So drapes for the windows, and something to put around the bed,” Clint said listing off the items once more on his fingers. “We have a fireplace so that should be looked at and discussed with Tony. Are we getting some seats or a table to set in that large and open corner?”

“I suppose,” he shrugged.

“Yes or no.”

“If we do we won’t have much room in front of the fire,”

“We can move the bed,”

“Can we?” he raised a brow at him a bit doubtful.

“Okay, you and Thor probably could.”

“I always have to do the work,” he sighed and tisked before finishing his glass.

Clint poured him a little more. “We’ll worry about that when we get home.”

“Something else is on your mind,” he frowned thoughtfully.

“What?” Clint said carefully and shrugged. “Nope. Just trying to remember all of what we need.”

Loki looked him over and then nodded. “You’re eager for me to stop using ‘official’ and ‘technically’.”

Clint shrugged trying to play it off and not let Loki how much it bothered him, “Somewhat.”

“Alright, if you desire, and are certain that you wish to undergo proper courting rights, we may begin this evening.”

“Really?” he asked unable to keep the eagerness from his voice.

“Well, we’ll need a token to exchange,” he said leaning back holding his glass as he looked to the ceiling thinking. “You’ll need a witness or two, and Thor will want to be there.”

“Great, what thing do we exchange?”

“A token of affection. It is a promise of love or something that symbolises our intentions to become a union. Rings I believe are common practice here still yes?”

“Yes,”

“On Asgard it ranges from pins, to necklaces, to tattoos and so forth.”

“So it can be anything?”

“So long as one can wear it or carry it comfortably on their person, yes.”

“Rings would be too easy,” Clint mumbled and chewed his lower lip in thought.

Loki smirked admiring his drive to break a cultural and social norm. “We could do bracelets?”

“Eh, I’d worry about getting an arrow caught on release.” He looked up at the god. “What have you always wanted?”

“Pardon?” he tensed a bit and blinked at him.

“Well I’m sure you’ve thought about or at least had some idea of what token you’ve always wanted to exchange with someone. What is it?”

Loki was silent for a moment as he looked down at the table and then into his wine glass. “A brooch,” he replied quietly.

“Huh,” Clint thought about it for a minute. “Not a bad idea.”

Loki swallowed and set his glass down. “There are other things as well,” he fumbled around the words quickly.

“No, it’s a great idea. And if you want them, I’d be more than happy to get one with you. Or is it an individual thing?”

“No the tokens must match.”

“Right, sign of unity.”

“A necklace?” Loki offered; a part of him upset that he would suggest such a thing yet the other part banished those thoughts, too eager over the idea of the brooch.

“I can’t; risk of choking,” he reminded tapping his neck.

“Then rings,” he said nervously playing with his fingers in his lap.

Clint gave him a concerned look. “Are you sure?”

“Yes,” he said firmly.

“You seemed so set on a brooch a second ago,”

“It’s just a thing,” he lied.

“Then why is it that every time I say the word ‘brooch’ you flinch?”

Loki stared at him for a long moment before he closed his eyes and put a hand to his forehead. “The darkness,” he lied.

“It’s asleep,” he pointed out.

“How do you know?” he snapped a bit irritated.

“I can feel it,” he said with a small shiver and then pointed to Loki’s right. “Over there, somewhere. It’s like snoozing, or whatever.”

Loki swallowed and looked away. “I…I don’t want to force you into anything.”

“And you’re not.”

“I only wish for you to be certain,”

“This is one of those ‘if you have a problem you express it and we talk it out’ moments. You obviously are having a problem, now express it.”

“I’ll be fine with…brooches,” he whispered the last word quietly.

Clint sighed and nodded his head as he realised Loki wasn’t going to talk about it. “Alright, we’ll get them. Do you want to wait to look?”

Loki shrugged and then picked up his glass, draining a little more than half of what was left to stop himself from talking.

“Dida you finda everything to ayour enjoyment?” Angie asked returning.

“Yes, it was delicious,” Clint smiled at her.

“Anda your first Italian meala?”

“Everything was perfect,” Loki replied warmly to her. “I wish this dish kept refilling after I finished. I couldn’t get enough,”

“Meraviglioso! Fantastico!” She laughed and then held up a slim black book. “Area you twoa going to geta dessert or…?”

“We’re absolutely full,” Clint said apologetically. “Perhaps next time?”

“I’lla looka for youa anda holda you to it,” she laughed and handed out the check, changing direction toward Clint when he held his hand up. “Nothing really toa takea home, so I’lla justa takea these all now,” she explained as she set Clint’s plate on top of Loki’s and removed their empty bread bowl, leaving the half full one still as well as their small bread plates.

“How much?” Loki asked.

“Never mind,” Clint said pulling out his wallet and smiled at him. “It was my treat.”

“I’d like there to be a time when I can treat you,” he said honestly.

Clint shrugged and set a card into the thin book before folding it and setting it off to the side. “Treat me when we’re on Asgard.” Loki looked away quickly. “What was that?”

“Nothing,”

“‘Nothing’ doesn’t cause panic like that.” He looked him over and then sighed, “Later then.”

Loki finished off his glass and began on his water. Angie returned and took the book up offering to get them more bread while they waited. They politely refused, yet Clint asked if they could take the wine. She had the waiter from before come out to take it to be resealed and bagged.

“Saturday’s bath,” Loki said with a thoughtful nod. “We’ll hide it in the closet.”

“We might as well add a wine cooler to our list.”

“Then we wouldn’t have to share with the others,” Loki nodded tapping his fingers to his lips thoughtfully.

Clint smiled. “I love you.”

Loki looked up at him in bewildered surprise. His lips twitched a bit before fanning out into a giddy smile. “You...you do?” he asked a bit breathlessly flabbergasted.

“Yeah,” he said. “I wouldn’t be marrying you if I didn’t.”

“Marrying?” Angie said as she came over. “Who’sa marrying?”

“Us,” Clint said with a proud smile.

“Ah! Congratulazioni! Wherea isa the ringa? Leta me see,” she waved her hands in a maternally ‘give-me’ motion.

“We haven’t gotten them yet,”

“Youa geta him a nicea ringa!” she wagged her finger at the archer and then nudged Loki’s arm. “Don’ta go through unlessa he doa. Okay ah?”

“Yes,” he nodded with a large smile.

“Whena you marry?”

“We don’t have a date yet,” Clint confessed.

“Sometime in the summer perhaps, or fall,” Loki said when he saw the women shift a bit to protest.

“Ah sopraffino! Youa comea backa anda havea wedding dinner aherea, yes? Okay.”

“Yes,” they both promised.

“We rent space for ayou anda family. Bringa the wholea family! Theya willa lovea the food. It’sa good food toa be married over.”

“I couldn’t agree more,” Loki said, excitement bubbling up inside of him for the first time in a very long time.

Clint smiled as he watched him. “I couldn’t either. We would be honoured and very lucky to have the reception here.”

“Wea honoured toa feeda you herea,” she laughed and handed back the billing book. Clint opened it, pulling out his card and signed the receipts quickly. “Youa both soa bellissimi! I looka forward to when youa come again. Come again. Comea tomorrow. Comea da next day. Comea alla days.”

“We shall try our best,” Clint promised and returned his card and wallet to his pocket before rising. “Our work is very sporadic.”

“Sporwhat?” she frowned looking at the other for help. “Youa know thisa word ah?”

“Yes, um, hectic. Crazy,” Loki offered standing as well.

“Ah crazy! Crazy awork. I know. Ia run house anda food here.”

“Thank you so much,” Loki said giving her a small bow.

“No, thanka you. Thanka you and comea again,” she patted his arm in a warm familiar fashion and then did the same to Clint. “Enjoya your night anda happy joys toa you both.”

“Thank you,” they called, putting their outerwear back on. The waiter returned with their sealed bottle which they put in with their shopping bags and they left holding hands.

“That was exciting,” Loki said giving Clint’s a small squeeze as they headed toward the mansion again.

“I can tell,”

“I’ve never felt so…welcomed in my life,” he confessed and turned to Clint. “I know in order for the ceremony to be proper it must be on Asgard, but can we have something here as well? Please?”

Clint’s smile widened. “Of course.”

Loki stopped before him to kiss him. “Thank you,” he said and then kissed him again. He pulled away and began walking, half dragging Clint along.

“The night is still young, what do you want to do?”

“Walk,” Loki said inhaling deeply. “I want to walk. I can’t see your stars, yet I feel them. They are content and bright and,” he stopped to catch his breath. “I feel over the moon,” he sighed breathlessly thrilled.

“I’ve never seen you like this,” Clint commented happily.

“I’m sorry,” Loki said quickly supressing his emotions.

“No, no!” he insisted. “Honestly it’s wonderful! I love this. I love seeing you happy.”

“I can’t remember the last time I felt this way,” he said letting his joy seep out once more.

“Ah,” Clint said pointing to a store a little ways ahead. “Jewellery place. Want to check?”

Loki’s mood subsided a bit. He stared the place over as they neared and then shook his head and pulled back away from it a little defensively. “No…no let’s…let’s do it tomorrow?”

“Alright,” Clint said honestly fine with that idea.

He looked around a little awkwardly, hoping to find something to fill the silence between them. “What is that?” he asked pointing to a building in the distance.

“That?” Clint looked up. “That’s the Empire State Building.” He looked at Loki who stared up at it’s lights in silent wonder. “Do you want to go?”

“Who lives there?”

“No one,” he laughed. “But some people work there. It was once the tallest building in the world. People can go up and look out at the view over the city.”

“Is it beautiful?”

He shrugged, “I guess, I’ve never been.”

Loki thought about it for a moment and then shook his head. “Let’s go another day.”

“Okay,”

“Shall we keep walking?”

“I think we shall,” he laughed and they headed off around the next corner. They spent the rest of the evening telling little jokes and making small teasing comments which slowly progressed into blurred innuendos.

“We’re going to have to start using the bond if we keep this up,” Clint warned with a laugh as Loki slowly licked some of the ice cream off of the spoon they were sharing. They were sitting on one of the benches in central park, not too far in, yet just enough away that they felt they had some privacy.

“Oh?” he raised a brow at him and then licked the white treat from the corner of his mouth.

_We do still have to christen our new bed._

_We have to what?_ He frowned at him confused.

_Uh…christen…a Christian thing. Baptize? No…um…to anoint with holy water for religious reasons._

_Why would we anoint our bed with holy water for religious reasons? Neither of us are…Christian and the Norns do not require such things._

_It’s a gross joke. I’m suggesting we anoint the bed with our sex to bless it._

_Oh…oh!_ He pulled back a bit and then gave him a coy smirk. _How provocative?_ He asked raises a delicate playful brow and leaned toward him.

_It’s also blasphemous to many here on earth._

_Exciting,_ he laughed and slowly moved in to kiss him. _I enjoy this notion; however, we still have to move things tomorrow._

“Oh fuck me,” he sighed annoyed as he turned his face away from the god, the moment and their potential kiss ruined.

“I wish,” Loki replied and then kidnapped the spoon to nab another taste of the sweet tri-flavoured ice cream. “You were off balance and sore today. Too many nights in a row and you won’t be able to hold a decent conversation. Banner will have to put whatever remains of your brain back into your skull.”

“Don’t…” he sighed and leaned back into the bench heavily.

“Don’t what?” he innocently asked.

“Talk like that…it does things to my imagination which does things to my brain, which does things to my body and then before you know we’re getting thrown in jail because of my public show.”

“All those steps and you still can’t manage to make toast without burning it?”

“Alright give it back,” he snatched the spoon away as Loki laughed amused. “No more. You’re done. Cut off. Finished.”

“Oh my, I’ll never live,” he sighed dramatically.

“Shame, I think Angie liked you.”

“I liked her,”

Clint took a spoonful of ice cream and watched as Loki looked around. After several moments, he gave a small sigh of content and leaned back on the bench, one arm around Clint’s shoulders and the other hanging off the end. He stared up at the sky, a sad smile on his face.

“What?” Barton asked.

“Nothing,”

“There it is again,”

“There it is,” he agreed quietly and then looked at Clint. He bent his arm up and played with the back of his neck. “May we do this again?”

“Of course,”

He nodded and leaned in, Clint quickly followed suit; however, he shoved the spoon at Loki’s mouth instead of giving in and kissing him. The god made a small noise of surprise before laughing and quickly licking up the melted treat that had begun to slide down his chin. Clint gave him a napkin, which he accepted gratefully, and they laughed as they kissed and finished their late night dessert.

Walking home was half exciting and half a bit disappointing. Clint knew that once they set foot through the door Loki would return to his closed off, cautious, and nervously submissive self. It’s not that he didn’t love a little of his submissive nature, it’s only that he wished there was a way to forget the past and have them all start fresh. He wished they had all met on better terms.

He stopped Loki from entering the house by pulling him back a bit onto the edge of the last step. “Stay with me here for a minute?”

“As you wish,” he smiled, a sliver of anxiety flickered onto his lips from being in such close proximity to the others.

Clint took their shopping bags and set them on the ground near their feet, picking up both of Loki’s hands to play with as he stepped closer to him. “I want to see you smile more.”

“I always smile…when I am with you,” he said honestly.

“No, not always. Not like this, not unless we are in the bath or almost asleep. I want this grin and joy to be something permanent for you,” he touched Loki’s chin and pulled him in for a kiss.

Loki kept his eyes closed as they pulled a little away. “Then I shall strive to satisfy,” he whispered.

“I want you to do it because _you_ enjoy it as well,” he reminded.

Loki looked at him and then wrapped his arms around the archer, “I do.”

“Honestly?”

“Yes, I want too. Who doesn’t wish to feel happiness?”

“I meant what I said earlier,” he said bringing their foreheads together.

“Earlier?”

“At the end of dinner.” Loki frowned for a moment before he realised what Clint was talking about. His lips started twitching again. Clint chuckled and pulled him closer. “Ahhhh don’t fight it,” he grinned nuzzling his nose close to Loki’s. “Come on. Smile.”

“Oh be quiet,” he sighed a bit, some colour lighting up his cheeks as he turned his face a little away to let a wide and shyly pleased smile spread across his mouth. “You can’t mean it,” he said trying to wave it away bashfully.

“I do though,” he insisted gently and turned Loki to look at him. “I could have said those words after the whole lights and souls connecting thingy and still meant it.” Loki rolled his eyes and shifted a bit doubtful. “I do!”

“You do?” he furrowed his brow and bit his lip worriedly.

“Yes.” He used his thumb to gently pull Loki’s lip from between his teeth, before giving him a quick kiss. “Believe me,” he whispered against his lips.

_I want too…_ he said only for himself as they nuzzled their face together in the chilly evening. He closed his eyes tightly and held most of his emotions at a safe distance from Clint, yet savoured the feel of his tight and warm embrace. The smell of him, the solid beat of his heart against his chest, the tickling brush of his breath on his neck as they held one another in the dark.

It wasn’t an intimacy he expected. It was sweeter and easier than anything he could have thought to come from such sensual acts. He shivered when he felt Clint’s nose draw up his throat, followed by a flick of his tongue. The action didn’t register as sexual, as he assumed it would. It came off as honest. As loving. As a small gift of affection. It made his heart ache and his stomach fill with fluttering butterflies.

He shifted closer and tightened his hold on the archer. He wanted to speak those words. He wanted to scream and sing them from the tops of every high point in all the nine, yet they stuck in his throat. He felt them pool within his chest, filling him with the sensation further. It made him ashamed. Clint felt that and reassuringly kissed him. Loki tried his hardest to push his feelings through the bond, but only the smallest fraction of it would trickle along to the archer. He tried through the kiss and met with a little more success, yet it wasn’t what he wanted and it frustrated him.

The light flipped on overhead, temporarily blinding them as the door burst open. Loki pulled back from Clint quickly.

“Alright, either you marry my daughter or get your pervy hands off of her!” Came Tony’s voice, only changed slightly to an impressive southern drawl. He gave a smile and then dropped the accent and waved them in. “No seriously though, it’s late and cold and I need to turn on the evening locks. That and people are probably taking photos right now.”

“Let them,” Clint shrugged picking up the shopping bags and slipped his hand into Loki’s.

“You’re right, it’ll get back to S.H.I.E.L.D. and piss them off even more,” he smiled pleased over the thought. “Never mind,” Stark held out his hand stopping them from getting any further into the house. “Get back out there and start snogging!”

“Snogging?” Loki frowned as he struggled over the word.

“It’s slang,” Clint explained and continued on in, pulling the god along. “British for making out and stuff.”

“Ah,”

“So how was the evening?” Tony asked closing the door and began pushing buttons on the side panel.

“Eventful,” Loki replied with an even and neutral expression. Clint supressed his disappointment at how fast the god’s joyful excitement had evaporated.

“Go anywhere nice?”

“Italians,”

“What?”

“We went to an Italian restaurant,” Clint explained.

“Ah nice! Which one?”

“Patsy’s,”

“The pizza?”

“No the sit down.”

“Ah, great date choice.”

“We thought so,” he smiled up at the god and swung their hands a bit. “But we’re going up.”

“So soon?”

“It’s almost ten,”

“We’re getting ready to watch a movie,”

“Hercules,” Loki muttered a bit darkly under his breath as the word registered with the only thing he could associate with it.

“No, it’s the first Lord of –”

“We’re in!” Clint shouted.

“– the, okay,”

Loki looked at him curiously. _What is it?_

_Lord of the Rings. We bought it tonight._

_I thought we bought a book? Do books in your world move as well?_

_Uh…no, unfortunately not. They sometimes make movies after books though, like they made a movie about Hercules –_

_That was nothing like his life,_ he snipped quickly.

_Alright, sometimes they make adaptations of things._

“Hey!” Natasha called from the doorway leading into the living room. Several beers were cradled in her arms and she had a bag of Spicy Sweet Chili Doritos in her grasp. “Are we doing this or not?”

“Yes!” Clint yelled and dragged Loki quickly along to the living room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Personal life update if you're curious** : I am now a validated server at this really cool restaurant. Most of the people there are super nice and totally chill, a few are snobby bitches, and one dude is like worthless and doesn't do shit - but I love 2/4 of my managers. The general manager is a huge nerd and totally kick ass! The second manager is from Australia and super nerdy awesome too. The first manager is a crazy lady and the third manager sounds like Mickey Mouse, but looks like a mini-Rock. He also awkwardly hits on me...like pointing out that my eyes are in my head and that he likes them there (like were else are they supposed to be?), or how he introduced me to some dude he used to beat up in high school (which has been some time since he's like married and 45)... *shifty eyes* no thanks dude. xD but I really like it there and I think this is probably the best move I could do with my life right now, in terms of re-building my self-esteem and obtaining currency to gtf on with my life.
> 
> Again, thank you everyone! You all are truly amazing and stupendously magnificent human beings!


	36. Chapter 36

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry everyone! I've been busy non-stop and just got a day off. I hope this chapter makes up for the wait!
> 
> All mistakes are my own, if something doesn't make sense please let me know and I'll try and fix it quickly. Please enjoy the chapter!

\----------------------36----------------------

“Well this was highly disappointing,” Loki sighed heavily as he set the book down next to him on the bed.

“What’s wrong?” Clint called from the bathroom as he washed the shaving cream from his face.

“This book was nothing like the movie!” he called back grumpily.

The archer laughed as he left the bathroom. Pulling the towel off from around his waist, Clint used a clean corner to dab at his face before tossing it aside and crawled back into bed. Picking up the book on the way, he turned it over and opened it to the first page. “I think you mean, ‘the movie was nothing like the book’.”

“Then this came first?” he asked pointing to the paperback.

“Yes, generally books come before their movie counterparts.”

“Well then I am dissatisfied with the movie. How could they leave the man who was older than the very existence of everything out? It’s disrespectful!”

“You are not alone with this feeling; I assure you many others are in the same boat.”

“I thought Glorfindel was a male?”

“He is. Arwen replaced him in the movie,”

“Oh it’s ridiculous! I mean I enjoy her, she’s lovely and her passion to love is sincere and commendable; however,” he stopped and made a displeased face.

“Yes, I agree. The point of the matter is: certain things were changed and although the movie was enjoyable to watch, it’s not the same and it’s a little sad for purists.”

“Precisely!”

Clint laughed and wiggled up a bit to kiss his pouty lips. “Should we go out and get the next book?”

“Absolutely!”

“Alright, we’ll do it tonight,”

“That is perhaps a better option, for I do not feel inclined to move at the moment,”

“Well keep up your pout,” he cheered rolling over to sit up. “Fight the power! I know I was this way the next day after seeing the movie.”

“I shall be this way forever,” he replied dramatically miserable and threw an arm over his face to cover his eyes.

“Awwww,” he laughed and leaned down to kiss his cheek. “You’re adorable.”

“I am not,” he protested and moved his other arm up to cover the rest of his face as he turned away.

“Aw stop,” he chuckled and leaned on him, pulling Loki into his arms and wrapped a leg around him. “You’re too cute! I’m going to die!”

“Stop it Clint. This is serious!” he huffed and wiggled around trying to get out of his grasp.

“It is. Wait until you see what happened to the next movie.”

“Don’t!” he whined and hit Clint’s chest playfully. “Spoiler! You make tomatoes rotten!”

“I’m sorry!” he covered Loki’s face in kisses and continued to apologise until the god turned his face into the pillow to stifle his small laughs. “Do you forgive me?”

“I shall consider it,” he mumbled into the fluffy object, his voice still a bit grumpy.

“Oh come on,” he nuzzled his throat and shoulder, pressing his lips to his skin after a while to entice him in that manner. “You know you want too.”

“I may or may not.”

“You do.”

“You have no proof,” he laughed and turned his face a bit to look at him.

“I see that smile pulling at your mouth,” he grinned down at the god and gently touched the corner of his lips to tickle him.

“I have no smile,” he frowned and batted Clint’s hand away, forcing his mouth back into a hard line.

“None for me?”

“No,”

“I see one though,”

“No!”

“Right there,”

“Clint!” he whined and wiggled to lay with his face in the pillow again.

“I see it,”

“No,” he puffed into the pillow and kept a firm hold on the sides so that Clint couldn’t pull it away from him as he had done the last few times they found themselves in this situation.

There was a knock at the door. “Hang on!” Clint called and then quickly pulled the covers up around their lower halves. “Yeah?”

The door cracked opened a bit. “Breakfast is ready,” Natasha called from the hall, standing with her back to the door so as not to see inside. “Clothes are required.”

“I’ll consider that last comment and we’ll be down in a minute,”

“Don’t think I won’t kick anything that offends me,” she warned before shutting the door completely.

Clint looked down at the god who was peaking up at him. “No one’s fed her coffee today,” he whispered making a ‘yikes’ face.

Loki giggled and shifted a bit as he stretched. “Oh I ache,” he sighed as he let his body relax.

“I can’t figure out why,” Clint muttered, a bit unhappily, as he crawled out of bed.

“Just because we have not had intercourse in a few days doesn’t mean the end is neigh,”

“No it just means the world isn’t fair,”

Loki’s lips gave a small twitch and he sighed, “Well…I have told you such before.”

“Meh,” was the only response Clint was willing to give. He didn’t want to start that argument again. He went into the closet and pulled out some jeans and a shirt along with his socks, underwear, and shoes. He dressed and re-entered the bedroom to find Loki sitting at the edge of the bed with a hand to his forehead, looking a little paler than normal. “You alright?”

“Yes,” he exhaled and rose, shaking himself a bit. “I stood far too quickly. I am fine.”

It was a lie and they both knew it. Clint kept his mouth shut and only offered his help, which Loki politely refused. He didn’t say anything as he put his shoes on and waited for the god to dress. Loki laced up the boots he’d purchased on their date and rolled down his dark black jeans before pulling on a loose long black cardigan over his dark green t-shirt.

He turned to the archer and held out his hands a bit. “Is this acceptable to wear?” he whispered with a nervous swallow.

Clint’s mouth pulled up into a slow smile as he walked toward him. He gently kissed him and nodded. “You look more than acceptable in this.”

Loki looked away embarrassed and cleared his throat. Clint took his hand and they headed down for breakfast. They were delighted to be greeted by the smell of bacon and –

“Cinnamon rolls!” Clint cheered and rushed to grab a plate.

“Morning,” Steve cheerily called from the stove.

“Morning,” Loki nodded with a touch of a smile and took a plate up to begin putting food onto.

“Do we have more icing?” Clint asked licking his finger clean of the gooey sugar.

“There is already plenty enough on them,” Natasha sighed and then slapped Clint’s hand as he reached to pick up another one. “And you licked your fingers!” she scolded.

“Ow!” he whined and scrunched up his face unhappily at her.

“Have some bacon and eggs too. You’ll need it,” Steve tried and set out a dish of freshly scrambled eggs.

The archer mumbled stuff to himself, still displeased, and began loading his plate. Loki smirked and turned to the fridge to grab the syrup for him.

“Tea’s done,” Romanoff announced. Bruce and Phil got up from the table to get some. “Loki?”

“Yes, I’ll have a mug,”

“Okay,” she grabbed one out of the cabinet and filled it for him before pouring the rest of the hot liquid into the mugs Phil and Bruce held out to her.

Loki looked into the fridge and spotted the syrup. Halfway reaching for it though his hand changed direction and he grabbed up the gallon of milk. It was different than the milk on Asgard, yet he suddenly felt a rushing craving that ate away at him in a very uncomfortable and demanding way. He hurriedly pulled it out and began drinking straight out of the container without thinking. He kept his head and the jug tilted in a way to allow a decent amount to flow into his mouth without it spilling out or over.

Everyone slowly stopped to watch as he stood there draining the new gallon. When he was finished, he lowered his head a bit and took a deep breath with a small hiccup. He froze and then looked around, flushed with embarrassment.

“I apologise,” he managed still trying to catch his breath. “I…I don’t know what came over me. That was…that was terribly rude, I…I’m very sorry.”

“No it’s cool,” Steve said blinking, still taken a back. “We…we have more.”

“It has begun!” Thor shouted from the doorway startling everyone.

“What has?” Phil asked confused as he stirred sugar into his mug.

“The wrath of Loki’s appetite,” he announced happily and rubbed his hands together.

“Oh honestly!” he glared at his brother. “This doesn’t mean anything!” he insisted holding the empty jug up, only to look at it and lower it a half a second later, still upset at himself for his selfish embarrassing behaviour.

“We shall see,” Thor smiled knowingly and then went over to stand before him. He looked at the counter and went to test his theory. He held up a piece of bacon and moved it slightly before his brother’s face. Loki snatched it up and stuffed it into his mouth unceremoniously and with a tad bit of a vicious force. “See?” he pointed at his brother with a smile. “The time of the beast is upon us.”

Loki looked as though he had been smacked. He swallowed and turned away, quickly taking up his tea mug and went to hide in the corner of the counter next to the side of the fridge.

“What is that?” Bruce asked curiously. “The time of the beast?”

“It is a changing of a season. Loki always becomes ravenous when the seasons change. On Asgard, it takes a while so his appetite changes cycle slowly over many years. Here they are every few months.”

“Ah!” Bruce laughed and went over to pat Loki’s arm understandingly. “It’s nothing to be embarrassed over. I do the same thing with the big guy.” He took the empty jug the god had set on the counter and tossed it in the recycling bin before getting some honey to sweeten his tea.

“Is it something that affects all Asgardians?” Steve asked innocently.

Thor, Clint, and Loki tensed for a moment. The younger god stood still and waited for the inevitable.

“Each Asgardian is different,” Thor explained gently and carefully. “Our friends –”

“ _Your_ ,” Loki snapped and then closed his eyes, internally berating himself for losing his temper so quickly over something so petty.

Thor glanced at him and then nodded apologetically. “Forgive me…my…friends, uh,” he cleared his throat. “Volstagg can eat a whole hog on his own; yet Fandral can only stomach several slices of the hind before he finds himself too full.”

Natasha watched the trickster god, carefully keeping a close watch upon his breathing patterns and body movements as he stared down into his mug and closed his eyes,. “Many humans are the same way,” she offered and slid Loki’s barely filled plate to him. “Do you want any more?”

“No, thank you, this is fine,” he said taking up the dish and quickly went to the far end of the table, which no one was set up to sit at.

Clint chewed at his bottom lip and then put a little extra food onto his and retrieved the syrup before going to set his stuff next to him. He went and got himself his mug and filled it with coffee, nabbing up some napkins and utensils before he went to sit down.

He handed over a knife and fork to Loki who took them with a small ‘thank you’. Clint smiled reassuringly at him and shifted his chair a little closer to him as they began to eat. Bruce and Phil retook their seats and dug into their meals and Thor began piling a plate for himself. They heard a noise from the other room and realised it was someone singing.

That someone was Tony, who happened to be belting Dancing Queen as he made his way down the main stairs and into the kitchen. He made a grand finish to the stanza and then smiled at everyone. “Morning!”

“Morning,” they chorused.

“Systems are working well; everyone has finally moved in; I’ve rebuilt one of the lower training rooms; I’ve stopped a potential war; and everything is ready for Pepper’s vacation. Am I wonderful or what?”

“It’s debateable,” Natasha muttered buttering toast.

Tony frowned at her and then went back to smiling. “Try all you will, but I cannot be touched!”

Natasha went over and poked him in the shoulder as she handed Steve a plate. “That seems to be debateable as well.”

“Look Romanoff,” he warned pulling out juice from the fridge.

“Where?” she smirked and snagged the apple and strawberry jellys before the door closed.

“Seriously!? Are you a child?”

“Look who’s talking!”

“Alright children, calm it,” Fury said entering. It was still odd to see him in nothing more than nice dark jeans and a long sleeve shirt. No leather, no heavy fabric, just his own self and reputation.

“Do you want this?” Clint whispered to Loki and offered the rest of his food.

The god stared at the food, an odd glint in his eyes as he froze for several moments. With great self-control and reluctance, he inhaled deeply and looked away. “No, it is yours.”

“But I’m offering it to you,”

“Eat what you will of it,”

“I’m going to head down and do some training, I can’t eat too much and my eyes were bigger than my stomach,”

“Please don’t push this Clinton,” he begged; his voice level dropping even lower so as not to draw attention to them. It didn’t work, but everyone fought to respectfully stay out of their affairs.

“Okay,” he said softly and backed down, trying to keep the worry from his voice. “Do you want more tea?” he asked once he noticed the god had almost finished his first mug.

“I can get it myself,” Loki sighed rising to go to the counter to do so.

Natasha looked at the god and then at Clint confused. The archer shook his head and motioned for her to leave it. The god had just finished pouring himself a new mug when the darkness swirled up in full force. It knocked the wind out of him and he staggered for a moment, quickly setting his mug on the counter and gripped the edge tightly.

Everyone who had seen him do it before tensed for a moment and waited. “Loki?” Natasha carefully asked after a few silent seconds.

“I’m fine,” he hissed viciously and then swallowed back a small noise of pain.

_Oh you gloriously hideous and pathetic monster!_ It sang as it stretched out with a flourish.

_Leave me!_ He commanded it.

_You can’t keep us out now,_ it said sadly. _It has been so long! We gave you days…we are cramped. We need space…feelings…blood!_

Loki swallowed and tried to at least block most of the negative flow from getting to Clint.

_Shall we show them a thing or two about your darkness? Shall we show them how you should be feared?_

Loki felt a rush of energy and his hands sparked and tingled with magic. “Excuse me,” he said and hurried from the room without a second glance or any explanation.

Natasha went after him as Clint hurried to get up and follow. She watched him take the stairs two at a time, until he reached the top. Once there he stumbled, gripping his midsection with a small cry of pain, and covered his face before running full force down the hall and out of sight.

Romanoff turned and pushed Clint to stop and take a few steps back. “Coats. Now,” she hissed.

“What?”

“We’re going for a walk,”

“Okay,” he nodded and quickly went to the hall closet to get their jackets.

“Is –” Steve began.

“Yes, just leave him be. He’ll be fine,” she ordered and went to the table to clean up their plates. “Leave his tea, he’ll come back and reheat it when he’s ready for it.”

“Alright.” Steve nodded letting it go.

“Here,” Clint said holding out her coat, his already on. She slipped it on and pulled him toward the back door and out into the weed overridden ghost of a garden.

“Alright talk to me,” she demanded turning to him once they were a safe distance from the house.

“How do you know he’s going to be alright?” Clint asked, panic just under the surface that only she could see.

Natasha sighed and shrugged, “I don’t know. I said that to keep everyone from going after him. Especially Thor. Loki doesn’t seem to want to be around anyone right now.”

“I don’t understand, he was fine this morning,” he sighed and ran a hand through his hair frustrated. “Alright…he wasn’t find this morning…but I feel like he just suddenly changed.”

“Oh he changed,” she raised an eyebrow and chewed the inside of her cheek, a bit unsure if what she had just seen was real or not.

Clint’s eyes snapped to look at her. “What do you mean?” he said quickly.

“I…when he left, as he was climbing the stairs…” she took a deep breath and just let it out, silly or not it wasn’t as though she were going to be burned at the stake for saying it. “He turned blue.”

Clint looked down at his feet. “Oh.”

“That’s an ‘oh’ that doesn’t hold the surprise I thought it would.”

“I mean,” he shrugged, “I’ve seen him change before. It’s…um…it’s hard to explain.”

“Try me,” she said sitting on a stone bench.

“Okay,” he sighed and paced a bit before her. “Um, well, he’s not Asgardian.”

“You and I both know the stories well enough. I never thought he was.”

“Great, glad my rantings and readings have rubbed off on you,” Clint gave a small smile, a bit proud, and then went back to his worry from before. “He’s Jötunn.”

“One of the races which do not get along with Asgardians?”

“Yeah,”

“Well that explains a lot,” she shrugged nonchalantly. “So he’s hiding his…true form? Is it a time thing? Is that why he ran away earlier?”

“No, it’s the darkness. I felt him try to push it back, but it wouldn’t budge. Whatever is going on it must be keeping him from taking control. And he’s not technically hiding his true form. He’s a shape shifter.”

“Right,” she nodded, “from the myths.”

“Yeah, that part is true. He’s just…” he shrugged. “He didn’t know about it until before he fell from Asgard.”

“That explains some of his bitterness,”

“Yeah, part of it.”

“How did he turn fleshy coloured? Magic from Odin?”

“I don’t think so,” he shook his head. “If it was, then he wouldn’t have found out.”

“Then what?”

“I don’t know,” he sighed frustrated and ruffled up his hair.

Natasha watched him for a few moments. “This didn’t just start up this morning. He’s been like this for a while, hasn’t he?”

Clint stopped and looked up toward the house, counting the windows until he found their bedroom one. The blinds were shut and dark. He hated that Natasha could truly read him so easily. “Yeah,” he said giving in, “it’s been progressing slowly for a few days.”

“Tell me about it,”

He shrugged. “The only way I can describe it is like dealing with a chick on her rag.” Natasha stared at him hard for several minutes. He looked at her and shrugged innocently. “What? What else do you want me to say? That’s what it’s like!”

“Are you telling me he’s going through his ‘ _man_ - _period’_?” she asked sceptically and gave him a look that said she wasn’t convinced.

“Jötunn-man-period sure?” he shrugged and then looked at her. She kept giving him that look and it made him feel uncomfortable and stupid. “It’s the only thing that makes sense, Tasha!” he cried a bit exasperated that she just wouldn’t take his word without question this time. “I caught him crying in the closet yesterday after one of the shirts slipped off the hanger. He just burst into tears! It was…unexpected.”

Natasha thought about it and then nodded giving in. “Fine…we’ll call it a man-period.”

“And it comes with random bouts of irritability, depression, crying, he’s been having problems sleeping, he can’t focus to save his life, he’s extra anxious, he’s tired, he’s always got a headache, he’s been complaining about his joints hurting and he had a zit on his chin yesterday…which he’s using magic to cover up – but I saw it before he spelled it away!”

“Okay, calm down Clint, not everyone is textbook pms.”

“I’m just saying,” he sighed, “and the appetite changes, that’s a thing yeah?”

“Did you google this?”

“No…” He avoided her gaze. He could feel her staring at him and it made him uncomfortable. “Okay, yes –”

“Clint!” she huffed and rolled her eyes in disbelief.

“But only because I was worried! He’s supposed to be a god! God’s don’t get headaches or not fit their clothes, or have their hips ache.”

“His hips ache?” Natasha asked confused yet intrigued.

“Yeah he was muttering about them when we went to bed last night so I rubbed them. I was hoping for a little something extra,” he made the face that said it should be obvious what the extra should be without him having to say it, “but he wouldn’t bite. He just rolled over and pretended to sleep.”

“Oh no, someone didn’t want to have sex with you?” she mockingly gasped.

Clint gave her a look that said he wasn’t amused, yet she saw under it that her words had hurt him. “This isn’t just someone, this is…Loki,” he said looking away.

She looked away as well. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I didn’t mean to–“

“It’s fine,” he said gently. “It is…I know…I know it’s still hard. I know that everyone is still adjusting, and it all looks like happy rainbows and snuggly kittens and sunshine cupcakes on the surface, but underneath we’re all worried about stepping on toes and offending each other. I get it; he was killing people, he took my freedom away, we fought him, no one’s fully recovered and over it, whatever. I understand…but…” he sighed and bit his bottom lip.

“Just know I’m still trying…” she admitted quietly. “I know he means a great deal to you…I’m…”

“I know you’re trying to understand what I see and why I see it,” he said finishing her sentence.

“I see some of it,” she nodded slowly and looked at him. “I see much more than what the others see…and I know he’s not what he seems.” Clint looked at her and she continued. “There’s something more…and only you can see it all now…and maybe that’s what you both need at this time,” she finished with a small shrug.

He smiled at her and nodded his head to thank her for understanding. They stayed there and watched the birds fly through the air silently for a while.

A thought suddenly occurred to Natasha and she looked at him startled by it. “Do you think he’s fertile? Like he could bear children if you two aren’t careful?”

“Now you’re starting to sound like me,” he laughed and then shook his head. “And no, I don’t think, I _know_ he _can_ bear children, but it’s complicated. There is magic and shifting involved. It’s a voluntary thing that needs to be planned.”

She flinched and looked down. “You’ve talked about it?” she asked quietly.

“Yeah,” he admitted softly and looked down at his feet. “We have a little.” He knew that was something she didn’t want to hear, not yet if ever at all.

“Are…” she swallowed afraid of his answer. “Are you going to…have children together?”

He shrugged, “Maybe.” He looked back at her and then went to sit next to her. “No one knows what the future holds. Besides, we have a lot of stuff to figure out right now. Kids are on the bottom of the list.”

She was silent for several minutes. “You said you know he can bear children. Does that mean he has kids?”

“Yeah, eight.”

“Damn, aren’t you the trophy wife?” she huffed a little impressed and shocked.

Clint laughed. “Maybe. They’re all in Asgard…or Álfheim…or Hel.”

“Hell?” she said quickly and then realised what it actually mean. “Oh right…Helheim, the myths…”

“Yeah…I was going to wait a few more days before asking about them all again.”

“If…if you two do…will…” Clint looked at her and she sighed looking away, hating herself for asking, yet her curiosity would eat at her the rest of the day if she did not. “Will he have to change into a female?”

“If I ask him about his kids?”

“No!” she snapped and exhaled in a puff, annoyed at how clueless he was at times “When…if you have kids together…will he have to change genders?”

“No,” he shook his head and answered before he had even had time to properly think about an answer. “He can stay in male form.” He didn’t know why he’d said that. He hadn’t asked Loki and certainly the god had made no indication here or there as to whether or not that were the case, however Clint just knew that his answer was correct. He had also already said it aloud and couldn’t take it back. If Natasha spotted any uncertainty or doubt in him right now, it would only double her worries or suspicions.

“Male pregnancy…” she said pressing her lips together and patted her hands a bit nervously on her thighs as the idea settled in. “Sounds like bizarre fanfiction.”

“Right? I’ve thought the same thing,” he chuckled and looked at her. “Are you okay with this?”

“I…don’t know…” she shrugged honestly. “This has been a lot to take in in such a short amount of time.”

“Yeah,” he sighed heavily, “Tell me about it. I dropped the ‘l’ word on him the other day and I thought he was going to explode.”

“Lesbian?”

He laughed out loud. “No _Pilgrim_ ,” he rolled his eyes dramatically and they laughed together at the joke.

When their mirth subsided, she gave a small sigh and nudged him with her shoulder. “Joking aside, that was a big deal though. You’ve never said that to anyone you were with before.”

“I know: just my mother, my brother, food, sex, you, and him.”

“Did you ever even say it to Bobbi?”

“No, that’s why she hated you.”

“Ha!” she threw her head back and laughed. “She’s just jealous that I am a higher degree black belt than she is, but that’s her problem.”

“Seriously! Remember after the wedding she dyed her hair red to match yours? She was like obsessed for a while that if she became you that I’d never leave her.”

Natasha smiled at him. “You’d never leave me?” she asked surprised.

He gave her a look that asked why she’d ever have to ask him that. “Never,” he said honestly. “You’re the twin I was supposed to have been born with. You’re like my bestest friend.”

“Clint, let’s be honest, I am your only friend.”

“Whoa now, Bruce and I have a thing going on.”

“He’s already taken by Tony; don’t put any more strain upon him. Dealing with Stark is enough.”

“Alright, then what about Thor?”

“Steve really likes Thor. They’re old fashioned and get along well.”

“Phil has Steve though,” he whined a little.

“No, Phil stalks Steve like a lost puppy in the rain who found someone to feed him. They’ll never be bros. They can be friends, but their bond will only go a little under the surface and no more.”

“Tony and I can be besties?”

“Do you _really_ want that?” she corked an eyebrow at him amused.

He only had to think about that for less than a second. “No, not really. He’s cool to talk with but then he gets all science and tech stuff and unless it has to do with a bow I’m not interested. Or a bouncy house.”

“Oh my god,” she sighed and rolled her eyes. “We are _not_ setting up a permanent inflatable bouncy house.”

“Come on! You’d love it too!”

“No!”

“I’ll get my bouncy house one day,” he vowed under his breath and he looked away determined.

She laughed and shook her head. “Crazy child.”

“You love me, you know it.”

“Sometimes I wonder what’s wrong with me,”

“Well you’re crazy and you’re friends with me, so that makes two things,”

She smiled and gave him a good shove which caused him to laugh and shift enough so that he wouldn’t fall off of the bench. “Keep it up.”

“Or you’ll do what? Tell Fury on me?”

“You’re still intimidated by him, so don’t tempt me.”

“I’m not intimidated, I just don’t take to authority well and he happens to be missing an eye. It’s creepy.”

“Don’t let him hear you say that.”

“I’ll say it to his face!” he sassed at her.

“I dare you then,”

“We’re not playing that game,” he said quickly backing down.

“Do it!”

“No,”

“Do it, Clint!” she whined and started tickling him.

“Hey! Stop! No! QUIT!”

“Dooooo iiiit!”

“Natalia stop!”

“Nope,” she laughed.

He grabbed her hands and they struggled on the bench for a bit until he was nearly sitting on her. “Cut it out!” he cried with a jump as he fell backward and had to let go of her hand for a moment to help steady himself.

“Then do it!” she laughed and found a spot to tickle him.

“AH!” he grabbed her hand.

“Tell him!”

“Try again later!”

At that moment there was a loud bang accompanied by the sound of delayed shattering which startled them and rang uncomfortably in the large backyard. Glass rained down from the house. They watched it fall for a second. Clint realised where it had come from and felt his heart seize in his chest. He looked up and sure enough…

“Loki!” he said and took off toward the house, Natasha right behind him.

\-------------------------------------------------

Maria left the council chamber and let slip a heavy sigh.

“Something wrong?” Sam asked coming over.

“We have orders to apprehend the Avengers,” she whispered quietly.

Wilson pressed his lips together and stared at the floor as he nodded. “We can’t do it all at once,” he said carefully and looked up at her.

“No,” she said with a secretive smile. “But we have until the end of next year,” she finished seriously.

“You have a plan?” he said knowingly.

She looked him over and then turned away and headed for her office. He silently followed her.

\-------------------------------------------------

They quickly ran through the kitchen, ignoring everyone’s questions, and hurried up the stairs.

“Loki!” he called and pushed at the door. “Loki open up!” he slapped his hand on the wooden surface and pushed against it again, twisting the handles.

“Here, together,” she pulled at his arm to bring him across the way. They took a breath and hurried forward, landing a kick on either side of the double door’s knobs. They broke them opened and the two assassins rushed in.

Loki was standing with his back facing them in the middle of the bathroom, his body smoking slightly as he shivered violently, pulling the magic he had just unleashed back into him. The windows in both rooms had been blown out, as well as the bathroom doors, shower doors, and the mirror.

“Loki?” Clint said moving toward him carefully.

“Don’t!” he begged and swallowed as he quickly brought his hands toward his chest to hide them. “Don’t come any closer.”

Clint held out his arm to keep Natasha back. “Loki what’s wrong?”

“Just…don’t come closer…please…” he whispered and felt sadness and shame wash over him. The pain of it all hurt worse than almost anything he had ever been forced to endure. He was horrid! A disgusting worthless beast and the only thing he was honestly good at was destroying the lives of those around him. He didn’t deserve happiness…he didn’t deserve anything…

He choked as he felt the darkness try and push hatred laced words up his throat. He swallowed them down and gave a small sob. His body was burning and he couldn’t escape it. He couldn’t even use magic to force the darkness to stop, for it would only feed it.

“Talk to me, this is communication. Remember?”

“I…I can’t…” he sobbed and went to cover his face with his hands. He stopped and held them out to exam them in horror. They were covered in dark red blood with sharp fragments glittering within his blue skin. Blue skin…Jötunn…he was a monster.

“What’s going on?” Bruce called from down the hall. There were footsteps and Clint looked at Natasha. She nodded and turned to go out and stop the others from coming any further.

“Loki you gotta talk to me,” he begged lowering his voice and took a step closer.

“I…I…” he swallowed and heard the archer moving up behind him, “Don’t!” he said again and held a shaky hand out to try and ward him away.

Clint stopped moving and tried reaching out with the bond. He found a solid wall. “Let me in? Please?”

“I can’t!” he hissed and flinched as he drew his arms close to cradle his damaged hands to his chest.

“Loki, come on,”

“Don’t force me to harm you again,”

“You haven’t harmed me before, now just let me in.”

The god reluctantly let his shield go and Clint felt a tidal wave of bitter hatred, sadness, and fear crush him. He staggered a bit by the force of it all and moved closer to the god. It had affected Loki as well, for he’d dropped to his knees and was leaning forward and jerked violently several times as he forced himself not to retch from the magic accumulating into his body against his will. Clint fumbled over and knelt near him just before Loki fell onto his side with a cry of pain.

“Okay, deep breath,” he said holding a hand out to touch Loki’s shoulder, while his other covered his own eyes to help keep himself from falling over as visions and emotions swept around him chaotically. “Take a deep breath with me.”

They did: Clint’s firm, full, and steady; Loki’s shaky, small, and faint. They kept up this until some of the madness had subsided enough so that Clint could open his eyes.

He watched Loki’s skin finish fading into it’s pale cream colour and the god’s violent sharp motions turned into small shivers. Clint bent and pulled him up into his arms, careful of his injured hands. “It’s okay. I’m here.”

“I’m sorry,” he whispered.

“Don’t be, this isn’t your fault,”

“It is,”

“It’s not.”

“I exist,” he breathed weakly and squeezed his eyes shut.

“Yeah, so do I. Doesn’t mean we asked for it and for the demons that haunt us in this life.” Loki flinched and gripped at Clint’s shirt, ignoring the pain it caused him. “Just breathe,” he reminded and rubbed his back, moving some hair from Loki’s forehead and pressed his lips there.

After a few more minutes, Clint saw Natasha peek her head in and he nodded to let her know things where okay. She gave a sigh of relief and then pointed toward Loki, asking if she could come in.

“Can Natasha come sit and talk?” Clint asked.

“I don’t wish to talk,” Loki shuttered as the darkness swirled up and down within him excitedly.

“Okay, you don’t have to talk,” he said quickly and wiped the god’s puffy wet eyes with his thumb gently. “Can she just come in to sit and hang? We were outside talking a little while ago.”

“Fine,” he hissed and tensed up again.

Natasha came in slowly and sat near them, making sure she stayed within Loki’s direct line of sight yet just a little away so as not to make him feel crowded.

“Where were we?” Clint asked her.

“Fighting about dares,”

“Oh right,” he laughed and looked down at Loki. “She’s bullying me into doing something I don’t want too.”

“Knowing you it’s not really bullying, it’s just her preventing you from doing something stupid,” Loki inhaled with a little difficulty and swallowed. He sniffed a few times as the overwhelming urge to cry subsided bit by bit.

“Ouch wow! You’re supposed to be on my side.”

“I prefer the side that’s rational,”

Clint chuckled a bit and shifted so he could sit a bit more comfortably with Loki still in his arms. “We were also talking about the myths. I hope you don’t mind, but I told her you had kids.”

“It’s fine…” he whispered softly relaxing a little and then tensed up again.

_We’ll kill them all!_

“Aaaannnd we talked about bouncy houses,” he continued on to distract the god.

“No Clint,” the other two said in unison.

“No!” he pretended to dramatically cry over Loki. “You were the chosen one!”

“Clint, I can’t breathe,” he warned and gripped his arm as he struggled to sit up a bit, his lungs being smooshed as the darkness nestled in his chest comfortably.

“Shhhh it’s okay,” he reassured and held him closer. “I know it’s hard, but you can do it. I know you can.”

Natasha looked the god over and then decided to try something. “Tell us about your children.”

“What?” Loki said confused and gasped, a few tears spilling from his eyes.

“Yeah, what?” Clint added, trying to figure out where the hell that question had come from.

“Just trust me,” she said moving a little bit closer and set her hand gently on Loki’s bent legs. “Tell us about them, Clint said you had twenty?”

“I did not!”

“Eight,” Loki said with a gasp. “I have eight.”

“How old are they?” Natasha said with a smile.

“Some of them are old and some are young,” he answered, breathing a little easier that time.

“The eldest?”

“Triplets. The elder of the three is Jörmungand…then Fenrir and last my…Hela,” he said struggling to keep himself from hyperventilating.

“Are they like in the myths?”

“How so?” he hissed and tensed a bit as the darkness tore at his chest, unhappy at being ignored.

“One is a serpent and one –”

“Yes!” he gasped and then relaxed some as the darkness stopped and began moving to a different place within him. “They were cursed.”

“I’m sorry,” she said sympathetically and realised she really meant it. “Does Jörmungand live on Earth?”

“No, they live together in a part of Niflheim reserved for the dead who are not dishonoured.”

“All three of them?”

“Yes, they are…they can’t be separated,”

“I wouldn’t want to be from my twin or triplet either,” she nodded and then continued. “So that’s three, who are the other five?”

“Sleipnir,”

“The horse?”

He gave a breathy laugh, “yes. It’s a long story.”

“I like long stories,”

“Too long,”

“You can tell us later then if you want. What’s he like?”

“He’s magnificent…intelligent…and very well behaved,” he grunted and shifted, stretching out his legs before exhaling some of his pain away.

“Next?”

“Grimalf, he’s next.”

“Is he a horse too?”

“No. He’s half-mortal.”

“Is he a good student?”

Loki closed his eyes, his lips giving a small twitch. “Yes. He’s very bright.” He swallowed and shifted again as the darkness fought against him. “Esgar is next.”

“A proud name for a proud father,” she smiled.

“No,” he shook his head a smiled, this one different, a loving pride. “Mother. I birthed him.”

“Oh?” she raised a brow and pretended she didn’t know any better, “You can do that?”

“Yes…I, I birthed the twins as well.”

“Twins?”

“Yes, Narvia and Narfi.”

“I feel they are troublemakers,”

“Oh yes,” he laughed and relaxed a bit more as the darkness tried moving back to his centre. He found an opening and shifted the entity to the side roughly. “Horrible when left to their own devices.”

“You never told us their ages,”

“If I do I’d have to give my own away,” he snickered weakly.

“I’ll tell you mine if you tell me yours?” she promised.

He nodded, “Two thousand two hundred eighty-one; two thousand eighty-five; one thousand nine hundred ninety-nine; eight hundred ninety-nine; and six hundred ninety-seven.”

“Wow those are some numbers,” Clint laughed a bit taken aback.

“Yes, it doesn’t seem that long ago until I think of how old they are,” he tittered a little.

“So what does that make you?” Natasha asked.

“You first,” he cleared his throat and took another easy breath; the darkness growled and fluffed itself up ready to pounce when the next chance presented itself.

“About eighty-four,”

“My you look lovely for your age,” he chuckled. She joined him. “I wasn’t aware humans could live for so long.”

“Uh, well I’m like Steve,” she began. “We both were chemically enhanced to create the perfect warrior, and a side effect is longevity.”

“Ah, I see,” he licked his lips. “Well…a fair trade for a fair trade. I am four thousand two hundred fifty-two.”

“No shit!” Clint gasped surprised. “Damn talk about a daddy!”

“Excuse me?”

“It’s a slang term for an older male figure in a gay relationship,” Natasha explained rolling her eyes. “Clint has been a sucker for older men.”

“Literally,” he chuckled and wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. Two sets of hands struck him; one slapped him hard enough to leave a mark, and the other only tapped in reproach carefully. “Hey now!” he warned glaring at the both of them on turn. “Keep it calm, we both know it’s not a secret or anything.”

“I’m glad you’re here and I don’t have to deal with keeping him in line alone any longer,” she said to the god.

“You-you are?” Loki frowned at her surprised.

“Of course,” she admitted and brushed some hair behind her ear shyly. “I know…I know we got off on the wrong foot. The _really_ wrong foot, but you…” she looked at Clint and then covered his ears. “You make him happy,” she whispered to the god.

“What is she saying?” Clint asked aloud trying to shake her off. _What is she saying about me?_

“Talk later?” she mouthed.

He nodded, very interested in what she had to say to him.

“What’s going on?”

Natasha let go of his ears and moved back to where she had been, “And his feet smell, but I’m sure you already knew about that, so just keep those things in mind.”

“Yes, thank you for informing me about the rash,” he played along with a smile.

Clint’s head snapped in her direction. “You said you’d never tell!”

The two laughed at the archer and Loki finally felt the darkness give up and subside. He gave a grateful sigh and let his body completely go limp in Clint’s arms.

“Hey,” the archer smiled down at him.

“Hello,” he grinned and reached up to gently touch his cheek. He stopped and stared at his hand before pulling it back to his chest in an apologetic ashamed fashion. He turned his face away and mumbled, “Might I have something to drink?”

“I’ll get it,” Romanoff offered and rose to hurry to the kitchen.

Clint bent and kissed Loki gently. “Thank you,” the god whispered.

“For what? Being a good boyfriend and helping you through a rough patch?”

“Shhhh,” he held a finger a little distance from Clint’s lips and then leaned up to kiss him once more. The kiss turned steamy in a short amount of time. Loki sat up, wrapping his arms around Clint as he made soft moans and purring noises in the back of his throat.

This side of the god was new, and Clint knew that it was something he liked. The drive, the passion, the subtle dominance – everything that made Loki such a fierce lover became profoundly more apparent to Clint. His kiss tasted sweeter, his smell was so intoxicating, his touch felt electric and erotic. Clint wanted to have him, or be taken in the hardest and roughest of ways, right then and there. The idea of being pounded into the bathroom floor made his insides ache with the need for Loki’s touch. It had been too many days and right now…he felt so good…

Loki inhaled quickly and pushed the archer off, mindful of his hands, and turned his face away, “No!” he said quickly. “We have to stop.”

“Oh…okay,” he blinked a bit overwhelmed still by the passion that flared within him and Loki. It was violent, it was possessive, and it called in the most seductive and beautiful of ways.

“We must speak,” he said worriedly and bit his lip.

Clint shook himself into a clearer thinking place. “Yes, talking. Communicating. Go. I’m listening.”

“We spoke of my heritage before,”

“Yes,”

“Do…do you remember…it?” he looked up at him as though the question, and whatever answer the archer gave him, caused him pain.

“Yes,” he nodded. “I do. You said you were from Jötunheim.”

“Yes,” he nodded his head slowly. “Because of this, they…” he stopped. Clint was about to prompt him for more when he remembered Loki could hear and sense people from afar and realised Natasha must have been in the hall on her way back.

Sure enough, she rounded the corner and held out the glass of water. “Here.”

“Thank you,” he went to take it and then looked at his hands. He moved his fingers a bit nervously as he thought about what to do. Clint took it and held it up for him and Loki drained it quickly with a sigh of relief.

“Do you want me to bring you up some food?” she offered. “You barely ate anything.”

“I…” he took a moment to think about it and then nodded, “Yes, please. More than my normal amount...” he finished embarrassed.

“And Banner for your hands?”

Loki looked down at them and shook his head. “I…I’ll pick them out.”

Clint knew they’d need Bruce’s help for at least one of the cuts, but he didn’t push the matter. He’d get Loki to agree about that sort of help later.

“Alright, one Super Hulk-food order coming right up,” she smiled and gave a small salute before going off.

“Okay,” Clint said after a few moments and set the glass aside. “Because they…?”

“Yes, um…because I am…this, I am at the mercy of their biological instincts,”

“Man-period,” Clint said bobbing his head understandingly.

“I beg your pardon?” he frowned at him.

“You’re on a period, like a female’s.”

“Period?”

“Uh, like a fertility cycle?”

“Oh,” Loki blinked and then nodded. “Yes, actually that is what this is.”

“So has this been a whole life thing?”

“Since I ascended to manhood, yes,”

“Tell me about it,”

“Such as?” he blinked, a little taken aback at how well the archer was taking the news.

“Well apart from the need to consume a lot of food, downing a gallon of milk spontaneously, and then that kiss that was kind of like sex, what else should I prepare myself for?”

Loki tittered a bit embarrassed. “Yes,” he swallowed and stared down at his hands. “Um, I may…I may become irritable, a bit aggressive, territorial…sexual,” he whispered the last word shyly.

“I can deal with all of that, especially the last one,” he smiled and winked at him.

“No I may…become that way…towards others,” he flushed ashamed.

“Oh…” he blinked and tilted his head thinking that over. “Oh…I don’t know how I feel about that honestly.”

“Yes…I know…I’m sorry,” he bit his lip unable to look at him.

“No,” Clint said once he saw that his words had a negative effect on Loki. “I mean, females do all of that, and men sort of go through the same thing here on earth, although they don’t really notice it, but yeah,” he nodded and leaned his face in toward Loki’s and stared at him for a bit. The god sensed what he was doing and looked up at him hesitantly. Clint shrugged with an honest and caring smile, “We’ll figure this out.”

“Really?” he frowned at him confused. “You do understand I may attempt to either seduce or physically intimidate your peers?”

“But you can’t hurt them so no worries,” he pointed out and shrugged again. “If you fight it has to be in defence, yes?”

“Correct,”

“Well there you go. Now when you say ‘ _seduce’_ ,” he shifted on the ground to find a more comfortable position and wrapped his arms around a bent leg. “Does this mean like you want to either dominate them or be dominated by them?”

“Depends,” Loki said flatly and glared at him. The way the archer was asking wasn’t the way he had anticipated him to. It almost sounded too deviously curious. Or Loki was just taking it the wrong way and Clint was honestly curious in a way to better understand and help them work through this trying affair. “If I sense they are of a dominant nature I may try to entice them to bed me, and if they are of a submissive one I may make an advance toward them.”

“Should I just put you in a chastity belt and leash? I feel like I can’t keep you out of my sight now. Like I’ll wake up and you’ll be riding Rogers or bending Bruce over the counter.”

“No, it is not that way,” he sighed, trying not to smirk, and began picking the glass shards from his hands carefully. “I explained this wrong. I won’t actually follow through with the act; it will be of a…a teasing nature.”

“Flirting,”

“Of a sort,”

“You might just be a huge flirt for a bit?”

“That is the best way to describe it,”

“Oh good,” he sighed relieved. “I thought I was going to have to lock you in the closet. I don’t like sharing.”

Loki laughed a little, “No, I recognise you as my partner.”

“This man-period spell isn’t going to change that though?” he asked a bit self-consciously. “Like you suddenly won’t be really into someone more dominant that myself and like…” he shrugged a little down at the idea of losing him because of a natural instinct thing, “bond or no bond?” he muttered.

“No, this is not a spell,” Loki shook his head wondering where he’d gotten that idea.

“I meant like ‘spell’, as to describe something not permanent. Like a –”

“Oh, I understand now,” he interrupted once the translation had fully entered his mind. “I apologise…I’m…I’m still unfamiliar with your…terms.”

“It’s fine,” he said with a small half-ass smile, the idea of losing Loki still too heavy to bear.

“No, I won’t leave you,” he promised. “It is general knowledge that when a Jötunn takes a serious partner they stay that way for life, unless something happens.”

“Something?”

“The other party is unfaithful or shames the family,”

“You have first-hand experience with that?”

Loki nodded. “My first-borns…she was rock giant. She cursed them and by doing so, showed herself unfit to honour a relationship.”

“I’m sensing you never honestly wanted to continue one with her anyways,”

Loki took a moment before answering, “She was…very demanding,” he explained carefully.

“If I become annoying let me know, alright?”

“I intend to,”

Clint looked down at Loki’s bloody hands and stood up. He helped Loki rise and together they went to the sink and worked to clear and clean his hands. Loki finally let Clint call for Banner to remove a large shard embedded into his left palm. It bled a lot and needed a few stitches, but Loki assured them it would be healed by the next morning. They put medicine on it, stuffed it with gauze, and wrapped it tightly to prevent any more bleeding or infection.

Tony tried pitching a fit over the damage, but one look from Natasha told him to keep it to himself. He ordered for a cleaning crew and someone to fix it. It was done a little after noon. The mess was cleaned away and windows and mirrors were all restored, even the one on the inside of the closet door that Loki had smashed; however, the glass to the bathroom doors and the bedroom doors couldn’t be fixed for a few more days. Clint, Loki, and Natasha never said what happened there, and the others didn’t ask. Well Thor did to Bruce, but he shook his head and said it was better to leave it, so the thunder god respectfully did.

A little while later, and after the second meal Loki had accepted and consumed, Natasha went to check on him. She knocked on the still broken and slightly opened door. “Hey,” she said. “How was the food?”

“Satisfying, thank you,” Loki said and rose from the chair he’d been sitting in. “Is there something I may help you with?”

“Do you have time for that talk now?”

He nodded and gestured for her to join him in the other chair. She closed the doors as best as she could and sat.

“Clint has informed me…that you both spoke…” he cleared his throat and set his book aside. “That he…explained my…” he looked up at her and forced the words from his mouth, “unfortunate ethnicity.”

“I wouldn’t call it unfortunate,” she shrugged and leaned back crossing her legs comfortably.

“You are also not Asgardian,” he reminded and carefully folded his hands in his lap. “So…I will answer anything you wish to ask freely.”

“I don’t want to be formal with you anymore,”

“Are we being such?”

“Stop with the Downton Abbey poshness,” she snapped, not too rudely yet not kindly. It was more of a tone she used when telling Clint to stop playing with his food or to get down off of something he shouldn’t have ever been able to get onto. “Seriously, us not working together is hurting Clint.”

Loki looked down at his lap, overwhelming guilt filling his chest. The darkness tried sneaking out to take a few bites but found a carefully constructed wall in the way. “I didn’t mea–”

“Yeah and neither did I. Look, Clint may seem like a hard-ass and stoic and all that stone-wall bullshit, but we both know it’s a cover. He puts that up so that people can’t get in. He only lets a small few in, and it takes a lot to get on that VIP list. Now we’re both on it, whether we want the other to be or not. Clint also doesn’t like conflict. In fact, he hates it. It freaks him out. He hates fighting, he hates seeing others suffer, and he hates it when the people he cares about are at odds with each other.”

“We haven’t fought though,” he frowned at her confused. “We have been decent and civil toward one another. I do not understand how that is hurting him now?”

“That’s the problem. We’ve been decent. We’ve been civil. Clint wants a family,” her tone softened and she gave a sigh. “He’s never had a real one. He makes one wherever he goes, whether the people he is working with want that or not. That’s why he was one of S.H.I.E.L.D.’s top agents. There is just something about him that makes people want to get along. Makes them want to fix things, and fuck him for rubbing that desire off on me,” she bitterly finished.

Loki’s lips twitched and he licked them. “I assume you have a plan to solve this problem?”

“Yes, I’ve thought over how to fix our dilemma, many times, and all signs point to,” she sighed again and looked at him directly, “getting along. For real. No fake crap, no being nice just for the sake of it. We have to actually talk out what’s wrong and find a way to fix this thing that started off broken between us. So…”

“So?”

“Start talking,” she held her hands out to him and sat up a bit. “I’m listening.”

“I don’t know what you expect me to say,”

“Why him?”

Loki looked down at the floor. “I can’t tell you the real reason.”

“Why not? Is it a secret the darkness is keeping you from saying?” she challenged a little.

“I promised I’d never speak of it again without consulting someone first,” he replied and looked back at her, all firm and finality in his gaze and tone.

Natasha narrowed her eyes at him. “Why do I get the feeling you’ve been saying this for a long time?”

Loki leaned back in his chair and crossed his legs. “Because I have.” He put his elbow up on the arm rest and rubbed his lips with his still damaged fingers slowly. “Thousands of years actually; a little more than half of my life,” he cleared his throat, and looked down at her jeans, thinking it over, “I’ve waited more than half my life for him.”

“That’s all you’re going to give me,” she nodded realising when a topic she had been perusing had either dried up or ran out of track to run along. “Okay then, so you’ve waited, you see him, you said your plans changed – why?”

“He reminded me of the man I was once,” he looked at her and dropped his arm to lay out away from him on the arm rest. “Seeing him helped me gain the focus I had lost when I had fallen from Asgard and before I found out that I was a monster.”

“You know whenever you say that word you hurt his feelings right?”

“What word?”

“Monster,”

“I don’t mean too,” he said honestly.

“But you do, whether you mean to or not.”

“I can’t help what I am,” he shrugged a bit casually with a pinch of defensiveness.

“And neither can I,” she shot right back.

“Then let’s not be childish and pretend we don’t know about each other’s pasts,”

“Childish?” she laughed in disbelief. “You think I’m being childish by pointing something out that may save your relationship with someone I love?”

“Monsters _are_ real Natasha,”

“Yes, and ghosts, and we stop looking for them under our beds once we realise they live inside us.”

“Then you know that sometimes they win,” he hissed nastily.

“Don’t quote Stephen King to me,” she shook her finger at him becoming angry, even though she was a hypocrite for using a quote on him a moment before. “But yeah they do,” she agreed and uncrossed her legs as her emotions rose up and overwhelmed her. She lowered her voice and kept herself from being frustrated too quickly over having such an argument. “And it sucks. But you know what all that is?”

“What?”

“A cowards way out.” Her words stuck him to silence, his anger from before extinguished to let the smoke of guilt settle in. “I learned long ago that the greatest way to hurt the people around me is to continuously hurt myself. Not go out and look for someone to hurt me, but actually physically or verbally hurt myself. I spent years wasting my life doing what you’re doing now. Talking down to myself, telling myself I was nothing, letting a little voice in my head that I wasn’t born with push me around and keep me believing that I was nothing. I became nothing _because_. _of_.it!” She took a deep breath and sat back in her chair. “I was ready to die when Barton found me. That’s why he beat me so easily. I _wanted_ it because I couldn’t do it myself. And he didn’t give that to me. You want to know why?”

“Why?” he asked quietly, holding his breath, too afraid to interrupt her with even that small question she had prompted.

“Because I didn’t actually want it,” she shook her head and looked away angrily as her eyes filled with tears. “Nope. I tried playing Russian roulette with myself; I could never pull the trigger. I swallowed pills; and then forced myself to throw them back up. I tried cutting myself; and then took myself to a hospital when I cut too deep. I stopped eating; and then found a place to take me in and feed me. I tried jumping off a bridge; but of course I can swim and I know how to land in water without much damage being done to my body. I tried hanging myself, and once I jumped and felt the rope around my neck I grabbed it and cut the line. I crashed a car into the water, but as I was flying off the cliff, I was rolling the fucking window down. You name it, I’ve done it. And Barton knew, because he’s a bastard and he can see people. He doesn’t know he can.”

She sniffed and wiped the tears falling down her face away, still unable to look at the god in front of her. “But he can. He can see through all the lies, and the masks, and the bullshit and he knows when people are being sincere and when they’re not. He can see the good in someone who has done an awful lot of damage and that stupid fucker will still risk his life saving them. I know,” she pointed to her chest and licked her lips. “He’s done it for me. He’s saved me time and time again, and I’ve only ever paid him back once,” she looked at him now and held up a finger. “Once, in the time we’ve known each other have I ever saved him, and it wasn’t even when he took a bullet for me the first time. It was when I knocked his head against some metal to get him out of the mind control you placed him under.”

“The first time?” Loki frowned concerned and confused.

“Yeah,” she shook her head and wiped her face. “He’s done it several times, however the first was the worst. It was near his heart. And you want to know what? He’s so stupid,” she shook her head laughing a bit as she thought about that memory. “He asked me, mind you he’s hooked up to a ton of machines and stuff, he’s getting blood pumped into him because he lost so much, and he’s just gotten out of surgery; he’s tired, his ribs are broken, his arm is too, his ankle is twisted, and he can barely keep his eyes opened – but he looks at me and asks if _I’m_ alright.” She paused for a moment to let that settle in. “He asked me if I was the one alright. I had a split lip and a few scrapes. He was in intensive care. That was something _I_ should have been asking _him_. That’s who Clint is,” she swallowed and sniffed before pointing at the god, “That’s who you’re with. Do you see now why I had such a problem with you?”

“Yes,” he nodded slowly. “It wasn’t just over New York; your anger mainly involved his true nature compared to mine and why he had been so…accepting of our bond.”

“Yep, because he’s the best there is. He’s stupid, god I love him, but he is. And he’s trusting, _too_ trusting, and he’s lewd, and kind, and he’ll always be there for you not matter what you do to him, except,” she held up a finger, hardening her look and voice, “Except if you sexually violate him or another human being.”

“I would never dare do such a thing,”

“Before this,” she gestured to the house they were currently sitting in. “I wouldn’t have believed you, but then I thought about it, and he said it to me. He said that even under the mind control thing he had wanted to sleep with you. And I knew that he couldn’t have made that up. That’s his _one_ rule. That’s his point of no forgiveness; the line no one should cross; the ‘Big One’; and if he could look me in the eyes and say he wanted you to touch him in that way and not feel any sort of hate…then I know that when he says you are good and that you need help, that you are and that you do.”

They were silent for a while, Loki thinking over her words and Natasha pulling herself together.

“What do you propose we do?” he asked softly looking back at her. “How do we…truly fix this between us which has only ever been broken?”

She shrugged. “How do friends work out the aftermath of their fights?”

“In order for that to work we would have needed a friendship we can navigate back too.”

“But we don’t, so we’ll just have to pretend.” She sniffed and crossed her legs again.

“We have at least one thing in common,”

“What’s that?” she asked rubbing her thumb over her eyelashes to dry them a bit.

“We both love Clinton very much.”

Natasha looked at him for a few moments and then nodded. “We do. So there is our starting point.”

“I’m not very good with friendships,” he warned.

“Great, neither am I.”

He smirked and folded his hands to bring before his face as he rested his elbows upon the arm rests. He rubbed his thumbs over his bottom lip before offering, “Clint tells me you enjoy reading?”

She nodded. “Yes.”

“What are some of your favourite books?” he asked quietly with sincere curiosity.


	37. Chapter 37

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my dears! I'm back on the unemployment grid (by personal choice) so I'll have more time to write and post stuff! Yay! It’s a _very_ long and complicated story, but the shortest version I can tell is: it's better this way and I deserve to be treated like a human being, so I’m going to find a job that does just that.
> 
> All mistakes are my own; anything that doesn't look/read/sound right please let me know and I'll amend it quickly; if you have any questions let me know; and I hope you enjoy!
> 
>  
> 
> **I know it's getting to the end of semesters and school years: everyone doing exams, graduating, and stuff, I wish you the best. You all can do it! If you're not doing that, I still wish you the best and I know you can do it! All of you can do anything, because you're wonderful and you all deserve wonderful things!**

\----------------------37----------------------

Fury sat meditating in his small dark room. He had chosen one on the less grander size, not for humble reasons or anything nice of the sort. It was a punishment for himself. To help remind him of where he had come from and where he had ended up, along with the whys and hows. He also chose it because he hoped he wouldn’t have to live in hiding for very long. He hated overstaying a welcome. He had shit to do, and it wasn’t going to get done while he was sitting on his ass in Tony’s house.

Phil stood at the door watching him for several moments. He’d taken up the room on the left from Fury’s mainly to keep Nick from being alone and because he knew they weren’t Avengers. They could live with them, each with them, fight with them, and help maintain order, but they would never be proper ones, and even though he wanted to be, he knew he was a need that needed to be elsewhere.

Coulson turned his head as footsteps approached and saw they belonged to Rogers. He held a finger to his lips and left the door, moving to join up with him. “What’s wrong?” he asked softly.

“There’s an attack happening right now.”

“Where?”

“Off Broadway. Tony thinks S.H.I.E.L.D. might be involved.”

“Have you alerted anyone else?”

“No,”

“Why not?”

“Because if it is them, we don’t know if we should start butting heads so soon. I also don’t want to walk into a trap.”

Phil shook his head. “They have no business being here.”

“They do though, Loki’s here, and so are we.”

“The council wouldn’t–”

“They would,” Fury’s voice came from behind them. Phil turned and Steve looked at the former director standing in the hall. “They would put the lives of others at risk for the sake of taking you all down.”

“How do you suggest we go about dealing with this situation?” Steve asked.

“Get everyone together and explain the situation. Put everyone on standby with one person to go scope it out. Have someone follow him just in case they need immediate backup and as an extra set of eyes. If it’s green and not S.H.I.E.LD., yet still a danger, get out there and fix it. If it’s nothing, do nothing. If it’s S.H.I.E.L.D., then either go, but be cautious, or don’t and explain to the officers what’s wrong. Tell them to call for the guard or something instead.”

“Okay,” the soldier said and hurried off. “Meeting in ten.”

\-------------------------------------------------

“I still think having the most dangerous one out here a bad idea,” Bruce mumbled kicking a rock as he ambled along the streets twenty minutes later. He adjusted his hood up more to hide his face.

“You’re the only one that can suit up in time,” Tony said through the com-link in his ear.

“Haha, that’s funny considering I don’t actually have a suit, and when it’s all over and done with my clothes disintegrate completely off because the radiation my body leeches into it and corrupts the m–”

“You leech of radiation!?” Clint cut in, suddenly worried. “Whoa man isn’t that like a serious hazard or some–”

“Shut up Clint,” Natasha warned in the nice tone that she only used once before throwing in physical warnings.

“I have an extra pair of pants, stop worrying,” Tony reassured.

“You stop worrying. At this rate I’m going to need my own sweatshop in the mansion to keep up with all of the pants I’m going through.”

“I’m working on it,”

“Yeah well work faster. Also I see it.”

“What?”

“The thing,” he looked around and assessed the situation. “It’s handled. Small town robbers. They’re in police custody already.”

“Alright then people!” Tony called clapping. “False –”

 _BAM!_ A blast of fire blew out the side of a building and sent chunks of debris and smoke flying through the air. It hit a few of the nearby cars and flared up.

“False of the falsing!”

“Banner what’s going on?” Natasha asked.

“Something just took out the side of the building several cars,” he said rushing forward to get a better look at the giant burning wreck in the middle of the street. The hairs on his body tingled and the big guy threw their body off to the side just before something else hit.

_BOOM!_

The car he had been running toward flipped over and landed where he’d been moments before. He rolled a safe distance away before getting up and continued on his run forward.

“What is it?” Clint called.

“I don’t know!” he shouted back and jumped over the hood of a stopped car. He got to where the scene had started and looked around. “Something big blasted it. It wasn’t a blast from an outside source…” he looked around, taking note of the large black marks on the ground at a point where the cars should have been before. “It looks as though something triggered under it. Something that had been waiting. A mine maybe?” He shook his head. It was similar but not the same. The cars would have had to have rolled onto it to trigger the detonation. So a remote controlled one, perhaps? But the markings were unlike any mine he’d ever seen, pressure or remote detonated.

“Is anyone hurt?”

He hurried to the nearest car and looked inside. “No one. There is no one in this car.” He checked the others quickly and looked around. “No one’s…no one’s in these,” he frowned confused and looked around.

“Banner, get out now,” Fury ordered.

“Someone’s hurt,” he said spotting a woman holding her arm. She was awkwardly propped against a car and looked as though she were in a tremendous amount of pain.

“Banner don’t!”

He ignored the voices on the com arguing back and forth on what he should and shouldn’t do, and instead ran to the young woman. “Are you alright?”

“My arm!” she said holding it with tears in her eyes. “It hurts!”

“It’s okay, I’m a doctor. Do you mind if I take a look at it?” She nodded her permission and he gently began assessing it. “It’s broken and slightly burned,” he explained and then turned a bit indicating the wreckage behind them. “Did you see what happened?”

“No,” she shook her head. “I was on my phone.”

“Okay, do you still have it?”

She patted her purse and began looking for it. Bruce looked around as people ran to and fro. He spotted Steve racing toward him and saw several officers running to ask the soldier what to do. He frowned; they weren’t the ones from before…in fact they had different uniforms on. He swept his eyes over the area again. Something wasn’t right. _What was going…_ Banner felt the Hulk’s distress and he ignored it. Whatever was wrong, the safety of this woman came first. He had to get her out. _Danger!_ The Hulk whined, pulling on his mind.

“Here,” she said distracting him before he could ask the big guy what he meant.

“Okay great, I need – AH!” he cried and grabbed at his neck where she had jabbed him with something. He stood up and staggered back, pulling the pen out of his throat. He looked down at it and realised it was a mini-injector device disguised as an ink pen.

“I’ve got him,” the woman said into a delicate bracelet onto her good wrist.

People began pouring out of the buildings and from around the other cars in the area. They had heavy armour, long electric rods, and a collar device. They looked as though they meant business and Banner wasn’t in the mood for that. Neither was the Hulk.

“Guys!” Bruce called and staggered back a bit. “I’m no good,” he gasped as the world around him tilted in an odd fashion.

“We’re coming,” Tony promised.

Steve raced to him and held up his shield just as the woman pulled out a gun and fired at Bruce. “What’s wrong?” he asked and pulled him along away from the agents advancing toward them. “Why aren’t you Hulking?”

“I can’t,” he hissed still holding a hand to the spot on his neck and struggled to breath. “She…she hit me with an…an enzyme…”

“An enzyme? What enzyme?”

“It’s supressing…adrenaline. I can’t…I can’t…even hear…him…” he panted and squeezed his eyes shut as everything in his line of vision started to spin rapidly. He felt incredibly sick and suddenly very alone.

“Alright, don’t worry,” Steve promised and threw up his shield as the agents began firing at them.

“Don’t worry?” he gasped. “I was just jabbed with a…by a…crazy psycho…bitch…” he cleared his throat and made sure to hold the device close to his person so that he could examine it later. “Who let…she let some other crazy psycho break and burn her arm just for the sake of bringing us into a trap!” he forced out and then wished he hadn’t. His stomach was doing weird flips.

“Did Bruce just swear?” Clint chuckled amused. “Natasha owes me for once!”

“Shut up, no I don’t. He’s said ‘bitch’. Our bet was ‘fuck’.”

“‘Bitch’, ‘fuck’ their like the same thing right?”

“Maybe to _you_ ,”

“Oh, was that a strike aimed to make me bleed?”

“No, but my fist in your face will be one,”

“Tasha, no!” Clint begged.

“I’m coming down!” Tony warned just before his suit hit the ground in front of Steve and Bruce. “Hey,” he smiled as the face plate slid up.

“Hurry, let’s get out of here. I talked to the real police and they said they can deal with this,” he handed Bruce over and blocked another blast before holding onto Tony.

“That’s very kind of them.”

“Well he told me that he didn’t want some stupid government crap to get in the way of nice people saving others.”

“Let’s send him a fruit basket,” Tony said, face plate sliding back into place just before he took off, one arm around Bruce and the other around Steve, both holding on for dear life. They made it back to the mansion in one piece and Steve helped take Bruce inside.

“I feel bad for leaving those people,” Bruce whispered as Rogers helped him sit down. The other Avengers plus three came running into the room.

“Don’t, the police said that area had been cleared off all morning. There were no civilians around.”

Bruce thought back on it and realised he was right. Normally from a blast, people would have been running away. People were running around, yet it was to get into their positions, not out of danger. “Those motherfuckers!” he hissed becoming angry.

Clint nudged Natasha’s arm. She gave a small warning punch to his shoulder, which made him wince a bit and he stopped antagonising her.

“Regardless, that was too close. From now on, we work with the police. No more running in blind. I’ve set up a meeting with the commissioner. They respond first, we’re the back up if it’s something out of their control.”

“Great because I hate being called in to get a kitten out of a tree,” Tony said with a sigh as he sat down.

“Don’t even lie,” Bruce said accepting a glass of water Loki handed him. “You love cats.”

“Okay I do,” he said with a smile. “But not when some kids put it up there just to get my attention. I’d rather they just ask nicely. It’s weird. And creepy. Then they just flock to you and–”

“Have we learned a lesson here?” Fury asked looking at all of them sternly.

“Yes,” they all responded in their own degrees of shame.

“Okay someone needs to get my anxiety meds,” Bruce said still holding a hand to his neck and now one to his chest. “And an STD test. I don’t think that needle was new.”

“Race ya,” Clint called to Natasha as he began running for the stairs.

She rolled her eyes and waited a few moments before she held up a pill bottle. “Here,” she tossed it to him.

“Thanks,” Bruce said holding a hand out to catch it. He missed by a long shot. Luckily Steve was still near him and caught it with ease. Banner made an embarrassed face and accepted the bottle after the soldier had opened it. He popped a few into his mouth and swallowed them down with the rest of the water.

“You’re not going to tell Clint you had those?” Thor asked down to Natasha confused.

She smirked and shook her head as she looked at Loki. “Nope.”

The trickster god chuckled, “he does need the exercise.” He looked at Romanoff who stared back at him for a few seconds before they both burst into tiny giggles. They covered their mouths and doubled over as they fought to keep their amusement under control.

“You all know I can still hear you,” said Clint unhappily from over the com-links.

Loki and Natasha looked at each other again before letting go and laughed out loud, tears coming to their eyes.

After Bruce had recovered some, they decided to start working out attack strategies. They wrote down their strengths and weaknesses; their preferred weapons of choice; how they’d each handle certain situations; and Clint even wrote in his favourite type of ice cream. Tony wrote down his favourite liquor brand. Both were yelled at by Natasha for being smartasses.

“Alright so we have two who use their full force, one that uses stealth and others force against them, one that prefers distance and height, one that can use magic and prefers close combat, one that defends and supports, and one that floats around pissing people off with his ‘witty’ remarks,” Steve said looking around the table at the other six.

“Hey!” Tony glared at him. “My remarks are witty, _and_ I do more than just ‘float’. I blow stuff up.”

“Excuse me,” Steve said holding a hand to his chest apologetically. “And one that floats around pissing people off with, what he believes to be, witty remarks as he blows stuff up.”

“You can live in the shed,” Tony said folding his arms across his chest.

“Okay, according to S.H.I.E.L.D. regulating classes that’s two bruisers, one infiltrator, three tacticians, and Tony,” Natasha said ignoring him.

“Hey!”

“Excuse me,” she replied with a sassy smirk as she put her hand to her chest in a mock apologetic fashion. “Blaster.”

“Yeah,” he said with a smug smile. He looked at Bruce as he leaned back in his chair and nudged his arm a few times. “I blast things.”

Banner rolled his eyes and rubbed at his temple. “When this thing wears out…” he warned.

“Okay, so if we use our strengths and cover everyone’s weaknesses, we’ll be better off in the long run,” Steve continued on. “I’ve put in our lists to the computer and set up some training courses. I suggest we at least do one round together once a day.”

“Starting tomorrow?”

“No Stark, in thirty.”

“Hours?”

“Minutes,” everyone said to him.

“Fine,” he sighed. “Fine, I’ll go check out and tune up my suit.”

“Fly off and I’ll castrate you,” Natasha warned.

“Whoa now,” he jumped up and held his hands before his privates. “Let’s keep it calm. I said ‘tune up’ not ‘run away to South America’.”

“Isn’t that were you’re taking Pepper?” Bruce asked innocently as the name sparked something within his mind.

“Uh…no,” he said and then ran off.

\-------------------------------------------------

Thirty minutes later, everyone had ‘geared’ up. Loki had changed into a pair of exercise stretch pants and a thin long sleeve top. He pulled his hair back and had just finished tying it into a small bun when he noticed Thor standing near him, shifting from foot to foot.

“Yes?” he asked looking up at him from his seat on the bench.

Thor cleared his throat and itched the side of his neck. “Would you mind, um,” he cleared his throat, “doing mine?” he indicated his hair.

Loki blinked at him for a moment and then nodded, “Sit.” Thor did so in between his legs. Loki took up his hair, “Braid?”

“Yes.” The younger god separated it into three equal parts and began weaving them together. “Thank you,” Thor said quietly.

“Why now?”

He shrugged. “It’s far too long for me to do on my own.”

“That and I suppose you never bothered to learn how to do it for yourself?”

He laughed. “No.”

“It has been a long time since you asked me to do this.”

“Well we agreed to never cut our hair without the other.”

“We agreed to never do a great many things without the other,” he said softly and tapped Thor’s shoulder. He held up a leather cord which Loki took and bound the end tightly.

“Grand thing we never agreed on having children at the same time,” he laughed.

“I’m sure you have several bastards out there somewhere,” he smiled.

Thor held a hand to his chest. “Don’t! Mother would die after throttling me!”

“I survived, you will too,”

“You’re her favourite,”

“Nonsense,” he waved a hand and then patted the blond’s shoulder to indicate he was finished. “Besides, if something happens, Baldur is next.”

“Esgar would be next,” Thor frowned and turned to look at him.

Loki clinched his jaw. “I don’t wish to have this conversation now.”

“Very well,” he sighed as he rose. “Just remember what I said.”

Loki didn’t enjoy his pestering. He stuck out his foot and tripped the thunder god as he went to join the others. The trickster smirked as Thor stumbled and had to quickly dodge his brother’s hand as it swung out in revenge. He rushed to Clint’s side and safety. The archer looked curiously at him as he finished screwing on a few modified heads to his arrows.

“Alright, everyone,” Steve said with a sigh as he adjusted the straps to his gloves. “The simulator is going to start in two minutes. Where is Stark?”

“Well I guess he has two minutes before his name legally changes to Antonia,” Natasha muttered as she activated her Widow’s Bite and flexed her fingers.

“Need help with that?” Loki whispered to her. She smiled and gave him a look that suggested she appreciated his remark. Clint frowned suspiciously at them.

The lights changed and platforms began rising out of the ground creating levels. Natasha jumped up onto one and rode it up. Clint swung onto a smaller one and Steve shook his arms out as he paced around the one Natasha went up. Loki watched him and then went to stand at the far side away from everyone. Just as the last platform stopped, moving something blasted the one Romanoff was on.

“Hey!” she shouted and looked around.

“Miss me?” Tony mocked as he zipped around over their heads.

“Oh you’re dead,” she warned watching him, waiting for a chance to jump onto him.

“Guys we’re supposed to be training _together_ , not against,” Steve reminded.

“Yeah _Natalie_ ,” Stark laughed and flew close to her before moving away right before she could spring. “Oh look at me! I’m a pretty assassin with lots of boobies!”

“Tony, please,” Rogers sighed heavily annoyed.

“And I’m Captain Stick-Up-My-Ass! Here to save the day with my ninety-year-old saggy man-tits!”

“Natalichka,” Steve said glaring up at Tony. “Get him.”

She grinned and ran; leaping from the platform to grab a hold of Tony just after Clint fired an arrow. The thing exploded and a net sprang out, landing upon the billionaire and giving Romanoff a clear landing spot as she took him down.

“JARVIS HELP!” he cried trying to hold her arms to keep her electrically charged bracelets away from frying his suit.

“I am sorry sir, I am not programed to become involved unless your life is considered in any real danger.”

“This is a real danger!” he gasped as they began falling rapidly to the ground. He jerked hard to the left and they landed onto one of the platforms. Clint was already counter moving to find another good shot to assist his friend.

“May I kindly remind you, that you brought this upon yourself?”

“You’re fired!” he called rolling and pushing Romanoff away from him.

“Yes sir, should I wait until after you are done here before I shut down and leave you to live as a caveman?”

“I don’t remember programming a sass drive!” he growled throwing off the net and attempted to put some distance between himself and the revenge seeking assassin.

“No sir, I’ve learned that from you.”

\-------------------------------------------------

“Ow,” Tony said rotating his shoulder as Bruce handed him an ice pack. “Wait until I tell Pepper!” he pouted and put the pack onto his abused body.

“Yeah, I can’t wait to laugh with her about it,” Romanoff said as Steve wrapped her wrist.

“Alright now, it’s done,” Rogers said with a sigh. “Tomorrow we have to actually focus.”

“Tomorrow! I’ll be lucky if I make it through the night with this arm!”

“Tony you know the one you landed on funny was the left and not the right,” Bruce whispered to him.

The billionaire looked at him and then narrowed his eyes. “I know! And this one hurts too!”

“Baby,”

“Nata,” whispered Steve and brushed some of her hair behind her ear as he gently turned her head to try and end their argument once and for all.

Clint winced as Loki finished smoothing non-alcoholic astringent over the cut on his cheek. “Thank you,” he mumbled.

“Not at all,” he smiled and then leaned in kissing him. A short one turned into two which turned into several long ones. Loki moved forward, slipping from his chair to Clint’s lap easily.

 _Is this that Jötunn heat stuff?_ he asked with a goofy smile.

 _Oh please do not call it that,_ he made a face and pulled away from Clint quickly.

“Why? I like the sound of it. Makes it sound –”

Loki put his fingers to his lips and frowned at him. _Can’t this be due to our passions and leave it there?_

_No, because this is different than the bond stuff._

“I hate how observant you are,” he muttered and got up, twisting the cap back onto the bottle as he gathered the cotton balls to throw away.

Clint let his hands rove over the god’s legs as he rose and left him. His lap instantly went cold and the fiery need that had worked up between them simmered into something bitter. Damn he hated when he messed up. _This is like a chick-period_ , he reminded himself. _Gotta be careful of hurting his emotions._

“Hey everyone!” Pepper said coming into the room. She froze upon seeing them and panic came to her instantly. “Oh my god what’s wrong!?”

“Pepper calm down,” Tony said getting up quickly to go to her.

“I didn’t hear anything! Why didn’t you call me!?” she said taking a step back.

Tony wrapped her in his arms and shushed her gently. “Hey, it’s okay. This is from training.”

“This is from training?” she asked looking them all over.

“Yeah, well, Bruce was attacked by S.H.I.E.L.D. earlier and I had to get him and we barely escaped but –”

“You were attacked by S.H.I.E.L.D. and I’m only hearing about this _now_!?” she cried suddenly becoming angry and hit his chest several times. “What are you doing to me!?” she hissed as she beat him.

“Ow,” he exhaled letting her go. Bruce was at the ready with the ice pack. “Okay, now I remember which arm hurts the most,” he hissed and put the pack there.

“I need a night! Get out of my face,” she said pushing him away from her. “Go have boy-time. Call Rhodey and go play with cars or hell, even visit a strip club! I don’t care! Just get away from me,” she sighed exasperated and left the kitchen.

“Come on,” Bruce sighed helping Tony leave the room. “Thor?”

“Yes, I shall assist,” he rose and went to help his friends.

“I should probably go too,” Steve said and kissed Natasha quickly.

She laughed, “Scared I might suddenly turn into a puddle of tears and rage?”

“I’m scared to answer that,”

Natasha laughed again. “I’m fairly in control of those things,” she stood and gave him one more kiss before he went off. She waited several seconds for him to be far enough away before she sat back down and sniffed.

“Oh god,” Clint exhaled quietly. “Damn I should have left with Tony.”

“Shut up!” she shouted at him. “I’m not crying!”

“I never said that you were,” he said gently and held up his hands defensively.

“Oh god,” she sniffed. “What is wrong with me?” she whispered to herself and fanned her face, mindful of her bruised wrist. “I haven’t had this problem in a very long time.”

Loki came over to offer her a spoon. She took it frowning at him before he opened the freezer and pulled out a giant carton of ice cream. “Clint, would you mind running out and getting us a few things?” he asked setting it on the counter.

“Yes, send me on a quest,” he jumped up quickly and headed for the front door.

Loki followed him out. “Pick us up some powdered milk, mayonnaise, the clear food shield sheets, bananas, yoghurt, ice cream, chips, milk, and find us something delicious and sweet.”

“Ghirardelli,” Natasha added from the other room, her voice sounding as though it were already full of ice cream.

“We have some of thi–” he started but one look at Loki told him it was better this way, “iiissss – I’ll be back in a few.”

“And guacamole!” she called.

“Guacamole, powdered milk, milk, mayo, bananas, yoghurt, ice cream, chips, milk, Ghirardelli, and what I’m assuming you mean to be plastic wrap,” he grabbed his set of keys on the hooks near the coat closet and stuffed his arms into the sleeves of his coat. “Got it! I’ll be back soon!”

“Where are you going?” Thor asked from the top of the stairs.

“Hey! Buddy!” he called motioning him over. “Get here! Come with me! We’re going on an adventure!”

“Adventure?” he smiled as the word sparked his interest. He began going down the stairs quickly. “Where?”

“Just grab your coat I’ll explain on the way out,”

Loki laughed to himself, highly amused at the idea of Clint and his brother hurrying around the city together, and returned to the kitchen. He rubbed his hands together as he began fine-tuning his plans.

“What’s so funny?” she asked around a mouthful of ice cream as he came back into the kitchen.

“Boys,” he sighed. “They’re so skittish.”

“Ha!” she said wiping the side of her mouth and swallowed the frozen treat down. “And they say females are the weaker sex.”

“Indeed,” he laughed and leaned on the counter next to her. “I’m forming a plan.”

“A plan?” she hummed intrigued. “I like the sound of that.”

“Yes, I’d hoped you would. I wish to help the Lady Pepper relax. She seems to be very stressed lately.”

“She’s dating Tony and runs his company; I’m surprised she hasn’t died of a heart attack already.”

Loki smirked. “She’s very strong.”

“ _Very_.”

“However, she…” he licked his lips as he thought carefully on how to explain it all. “Her energy levels are very…erratic.”

“Energy levels?” Natasha asked eating more ice cream.

“It is hard to explain in full detail, however the shortest version is: everything emits an energy pattern and I am sensitive to them.”

“Because you use magic,” she nodded understandingly.

Loki frowned at her taken aback. “Y-yes…how did –”

“Clint mentioned something about it being like the Force, so I’m just assuming from the spars clues I’ve been given. So you can sense something’s wrong with Pepper?”

“Yes,” he said and cleared his throat, very pleased with how intelligent and perceptive she was. “And I’m at a loss as to what to do. I have some ideas, yet I am not…on such friendly terms with her to…” he licked his lips and found a dead end on how to express his thoughts.

“Where you thinking of something like a girl’s night?”

“In a sense, however I shall be present,”

“I mean,” she shrugged and scooped up another spoonful. “You’re kind of like a girl with your Jötunn-man-period and all,” she stuffed the ice cream into her mouth.

He winced and then gave a heavy sigh, “I do hate that he calls it that…”

She smiled at him. “If that’s your biggest grief about what Clint says or does, we’re in luck. I’ve got a list a mile long.”

Loki chuckled and took up the other spoon. “We shall have to compare them sometime. I’m sure we have many similar ones.”

“I don’t doubt that,” she laughed and waited for him to gather some ice cream onto his spoon before she held hers out. They gently tapped them together in ‘cheers’ and Loki began revealing his ideas in full.

\-------------------------------------------------

“I think we bought everything,” Clint said with a sigh and looked the receipt over and over again. “Did we miss anything?”

“Nay, I do not believe so,”

“Great,” he sighed and hoisted the bags weighing down his arms up more so he could key into the house. “We’re back,” he called quietly and looked around.

“Are we being stealthy?” Thor said loudly.

“Sh!” he nudged him.

“Right,” he said correcting his volume. “Sorry.”

“Loki?...Tasha?...Boys?...Anyone still alive?”

“Excuse me Clint,” JARVIS said.

“Oh Jesus!” he shouted falling back against Thor; the both of them frightened into tiny squeaks of panic and pounding hearts.

“No, I am sorry, sir. I am JARVIS,”

“Haha,” Clint sassed up at him once he realised they weren’t in any immediate danger. “What is it?”

“The ladies and Loki are in the living room.”

“And the others?”

“Safe in Tony’s shop,” JARVIS seemed to whisper.

“Great,” he gave a sigh of relief and looked at Thor. “Come on, let’s get these to them and leave quickly. Last thing we need is Natasha trying to gut me again.”

“Gut you?” Thor asked concerned.

“Yeah it happened several months ago. I said something, it was that time, and next thing I knew my arm was out of the socket and she was sitting on my chest crying.”

“Oh dear,”

“Yeah…” They rounded the corner and stopped dead in their tracks. “AH!” Clint said falling back again as three sets of eyes landed upon him.

“There you are,” Loki sighed getting up off of the couch.

“What is on your head?”

Loki touched at the plastic wrap and shrugged. “Mayonnaise and plastic.”

“What?”

“It’s a beauty regimen,” Thor explained. “Whipped eggs and oil massaged into the scalp and hair, tied up with a cap or treated scarf, left for an hour and rinsed out helps make the hair shiny, softer, stronger, and helps moisturise it.”

“Oh…oh…” he sighed relieved. “I was…sorry…” he held out his arms. “I bring gifts and peace offerings.”

“Excellent, we were just about to rinse our hair,” Loki gestured to the door. “The kitchen then?”

“Yes,” Natasha said as she and Pepper stood, both in loose frumpy clothes now, and they all went to the next room. Natasha quickly began sorting their acquired items out while Loki guided Pepper to bend her head over the empty and cleaned out sink as he let the water heat up a bit. Once it was the right temperature, he rinsed her hair out gently and thoroughly. When he had finished he took up a pre-set bath towel and wrapped her hair in it.

“There,” he smiled at her. “Tasha?”

“Found the chocolate!” she said and held one of the bags to Pepper.

“Oh yes!” she sighed in grateful prayer as she opened the package and began tearing the wrapped candies opened. “Oh I might cry! I’ve been craving caramel and chocolate for two days,” she said as she took up the salt shaker and sprinkled a bit onto the gooey filling.

“There are others too,” Natasha said as Loki took the last of the plastic from off her hair and stuck her head under the running faucet and spray hose. “Do you need me to do yours?” she offered to him.

“If you wouldn’t mind,” the god answered.

“Great, glad we could help,” Clint said with a small salute and began backing away with Thor. “Please keep in mind, it is about thirty-five degrees out and Thor and I walked around New York for this stuff. We carried it all several blocks as well. Just us two, no one else, so when you rise up and destroy the males, please consider enslaving us instead. Power to the matriarch.”

“You’re just going to leave?” Pepper managed around a mouthful of chocolate, her eyes a bit glassy.

“Um…” Clint began and rubbed his hands together. “I thought you said you wanted a night? I assumed it would be a…girl’s only…night?” he weakly finished and swallowed.

“Clint,” Natasha warned, more for Pepper’s eventual hormonal reaction rather than her own anger.

“Or we could stay?” he said carefully with false excitement. “Is that what you want? We can stay. Just let us know. We’re here for you and your comfort and –”

“Clint, shut up and take the food into the living room,” Pepper commanded flatly. “I’m not some teenager. I have control over myself.”

“Right,” he smiled and began loading his arms up with the food. “I’ll get these, and you can keep that and we’ll meet back in a few.” Loki’s mouth twitched with his amusement over the whole ordeal. He looked at Pepper who gave a firm confident nod and stuffed another chocolate salted square into her mouth as Thor and Clint left the room.

“This is a nightmare,” Clint sighed as he and Thor put the food down carefully. “Do you have any experience that could help us?”

Thor shrugged. “I have never had a very stable relationship to deal with such. Although every few years mother would just start weeping for no reason every few months. She would often fight with father as well. I assume this is the same to a mortal female’s cycles?”

“Yes, but they’re monthly here,”

Thor made a ‘yikes’ face. “Oh dear, no wonder your males do not live as long.”

“Yeah, and Natasha has always been aggressive and sensitive the three days before and the three days during hers. I’ve never had to deal with Pepper’s but it seems she’s either at that point or about to be, and…” he stopped and frowned. “How…what do…” he made a gesture at the wall that had the kitchen on the other side. “Eh…?” he whispered carefully and prayed the big guy understood his question and meaning.

“Loki?” Thor mouthed knowingly and then shrugged. “After a time he’d lock himself up for a few days every season change. The seasons change differently in Asgard, friend, remember?”

“Oh yeah,” he sighed and rubbed at his forehead. “Then…what do you know of Jötunns in general?”

“Not much,” he confessed. “My mother would be a better person to ask.”

“Great, I’ll just go make that collect call.”

Thor frowned. “She does not know how to use a pocket phone.”

“I meant…it was a joke,” he sighed.

“Oh!” Thor laughed and patted Clint roughly on the back. “A joke! Very funny! Good one.”

“Are you finished?” Loki asked from the door as he squeezed out his hair. Clint jumped and went to say something. The younger god held up a hand and took several steps toward them both. “Calm yourself and let me explain. The Lady Pepper has recently begun taking medicine to decrease her fertility. The side effects are taking a toll upon her during her cycles so she is very fragile. Tasha and I thought it would be best if we took an evening pampering ourselves to help make her feel more relaxed. She’ll be back to her old self in a day or two.”

Clint gave a grateful sigh and then smiled at him, scrunching up his nose with a small laugh.

“What?”

“Nothing,” he shook his head and went toward Loki.

The god knew what it was though; it was his use of Romanoff’s nickname Clint had given her years ago. “Are you planning to stay?”

“If I don’t there is a chance she’ll cry, right?”

“It is a high possibility,”

“I can deal,” he nodded determined and cracked his knuckles. “Bring on ladies night.”

“And you?” Loki asked looking at his brother.

“I do not wish to be rude,” he said honestly.

“It’s probably best you stay. Your mortal may suffer the same intensity at her cycles. Best to prepare and learn to cope.” Thor gulped and nodded. “Come along,” he said turning to leave.

“Why?” Clint asked confused.

“If you wish to spend time then you must spend time.”

‘Spend time’ was Loki’s way of saying they had to do the same beauty routines. Clint and Thor sat as Natasha and Loki worked the mayonnaise into their hair and wrapped their heads while Pepper mixed something in a bowl, following Loki’s instructions carefully.

Once the two had washed their hands, Loki had the females sit before him as he applied the yoghurt, honey, and banana paste mixture to their faces. Natasha applied it to Loki’s, stashed the rest in the fridge, and they moved into the living room to settle down.

“What are we watching?” Clint asked poking at his head a bit uncomfortable. It felt too heavy and like something was sucking his brains out. It also smelled weird.

“ _The Princess Bride_. It just started,” Natasha explained as she helped pile pillows and blankets around Pepper and herself.

At least there was one guaranteed good thing out of the whole mess. He sat in between Loki and Natasha and spotted the food sitting out before them. Two. Two goods. Loki sighed and leaned into Clint a bit. _Three._ He smirked and put his arm around the god. _Three good things._

\-------------------------------------------------

Bruce and Phil were walking down the hall on their way to the library, talking about a new book series Banner had stumbled upon, when they heard noise from the living room. They paused and looked at each other.

“That sounded like Thor,” Phil said.

“Yeah,” Bruce nodded. “He went to save Clint earlier and somehow I feel the girls got him.”

“Should we check it out?”

“Yeah,” he shrugged indifferent. “Why not. Maybe we can find out where Pepper went. I went to check on her earlier and JARVIS said she was busy and shouldn’t be disturbed.”

They went to the living room and jumped at the sight. Five sets of eyes went from the TV to zero in on them. Two of those eyes had plastic wrapped around their heads, and the other three had a pale yellow mixture on their faces.

“Uh…” Phil and Bruce stood unsure as to what to do.

“Girl’s night,” Clint explained and pointed to Loki and Natasha’s faces, “Banana facials.”

“And hair treatments,” Thor explained with a happy smile pointing to his head. It was obvious he was enjoying himself.

“We’re watching _The Princess Bride_ ,” Pepper said quietly as she nibbled on a tortilla chip as she looked back at the TV to see Westley and Buttercup kiss. Her and Clint heaved a great sigh. Loki and Natasha raise their brows at the archer who sat with a dreamy look on his face as he lost himself to the film.

The two at the door looked at each other and shrugged.

\-------------------------------------------------

“I’m seriously worried,” Tony said to Steve. “It’s been over an hour since they left!”

The soldier sighed and rubbed his face. “I’ll go check. Stay here.”

“If you don’t come back in an hour I’m leaving.”

“You don’t have to come after me,”

“No I meant the country,” he said giving him a ‘duh’ face.

“Fine, whatever,” he rolled his eyes and left to look for where everyone had gone. He tried his and Natasha’s room. Nothing, but he noticed her day clothes had been tossed into the hamper. He went and knocked on Loki and Clint’s door. No answer. Bruce wasn’t answering. Phil and Fury’s rooms were empty. They must be on the training levels. He went to check those.

Nothing in the workout room. Nothing in the pool. Nothing in the training combat simulator room. He checked the kitchen and found signs that at least someone had been there. Or someones. As he left the room it was then he heard something from living area. The TV was on and he was sure he had heard voices of a sort. He went to check there.

“Ah!” he jumped as eight sets of eyes landed upon him. Bruce and Phil had their heads wrapped in plastic; Clint, Thor, and Fury had a pale yellow mixture on their faces; Natasha was seated in between the couch and the coffee table where she was painting Pepper’s toes; and Loki and Clint’s where stretched out with little tuffs of cotton in between theirs, suggesting they had already had theirs done. Thor’s and Fury’s where soaking still in large bowls of water.

“Hey!” they said, some cheered with an inviting wave and some grunted and went back to watching the movie.

“What’s going on?” he asked carefully and somewhat confused.

“Girl’s night,” Natasha and Clint said.

“Banana facials,” said Thor and Fury.

“And hair treatments,” Bruce and Phil added.

“We’re watching _Pretty Woman_ ,” Pepper finished as she blew her nose into a tissue, and retook up Loki’s hand for support, “this part always gets me.” He nodded sympathetically.

Steve looked at the TV and then back to them before shrugging.

\-------------------------------------------------

“I think they’re all dead!”

“Tony calm down.”

“No Rhodey, you don’t understand. Pepper’s been weird for the past few months. What used to be a day to avoid her has now become several. She said she didn’t want to see me, and then slowly everyone started disappearing. I’m not saying _Sweeney Todd_ , but I’m saying something’s up.”

“What do you want me to do about it?”

“Come here,”

“I can’t. I am in Japan.”

“Bring me some sushi while you’re at it then,”

“You are unbelievable,”

“I’m normally not told that until after I’ve had sex with someone.”

“I’m hanging up now.”

“No please!”

“Tony you’re being ridiculous. How do you know they all aren’t sitting around spending time together?”

“Because when women are at _that_ time…they don’t want that.”

“Right, because you’re such an expert on women,”

“On their sex lives, yes,” he said proudly.

“Goodbye,”

“Rhodes!”

“I’ll check in tomorrow. If I don’t hear anything then I’ll start a search party. Until then, survive.”

Tony tossed his phone onto the work table and sighed rubbed at his face. “What am I going to do?” He looked around and then leaned back in his chair. He exhaled slowly, puffing out his cheeks a bit, and patted his hands on the sides of his swivel chair. He spun in it for a bit before deciding to speak aloud. “Hey Jarv.”

“Yes, sir?”

“Has anyone been killed tonight?” he casually asked picking up a few screws from off the work bench next to him.

“Not according to my scans. May I ask why you have inquired such a thing?”

“No reason,” he shrugged fiddling with the metal bits.

“Sir, is this in regards to Miss Potts recent behaviour?”

“Why? Did she ask you to ask me that?”

“No, sir. Even if she had, remember that I am faithful to you and must inform you of suspicious activity right away.”

“Fine is anything suspicious going on?”

“No, sir. I would have told you of any right away.”

“Seriously, like where is everyone?”

“In the living room on the main floor.”

Tony blinked a few times. “Pardon?” he asked afraid he had misheard him.

“They are in the living room on the main floor.”

“Everyone?” he asked surprised.

“Everyone,”

“Are you sure?”

“My scans are never wrong, unless you purposely make them to be.”

Tony drummed his fingers on the surface and then got up. “If I start screaming call the police.”

“I am programed to if ever your life is placed in danger,”

“Ahuh, I remember something being said earlier about that,”

“Oh good, I was worried I was going to have to start handing out the manual you wrote for me.”

“Okay there Jarvis, calm it down,” he said taking the stairs, each step weighting down more with dread.

“Sorry, sir. I will now ‘calm it down’.”

Tony rolled his eyes and headed toward the main floor. Upon reaching the landing he heard something come from the living room. He jumped and made a swiping ninja move toward it and then narrowed his eyes. He carefully crept toward the noise, ready to lay down all of the serious Jackie Chan moves he’d been learning.

Upon looking into the living room, though, he have a high-pitched shout and jumped back, falling against the doorframe as nine sets of eyes landed upon him. Steve and Loki where halfway across the room, some weird white plastic thing on the soldier’s head; Bruce and Phil had pale yellow stuff on their faces, as well as their feet stretched out with Natasha and Clint working on their toes; and Thor and Fury had their feet up with cotton balls in between their toes.

“What the hell is going on?”

“Girl’s night,” Bruce and Phil said.

“Banana facials,” said Fury pointing to the stuff.

“And hair treatments,” Steve added.

“Pedicures for everyone,” Clint said as he brushed clear coat onto Bruce’s toes, poking his tongue out as he worked to carefully and evenly coat each nail.

“We were about to watch _Titanic_ ,” Pepper said holding the DVD up.

So Tony found himself with his feet in a bowl full of warm water, banana gloop on his face, and mayo on his head as he said next to Pepper and held her hand. They paused the movie when it was time for everyone to rinse things off or put things on. They also stretched and walked around, refilled drinks, and gathered more tissues, before they settled down again.

Natasha began working on his toes, viciously giving him bright pink polish with a sparkle overcoat; Pepper started crying on his shoulder; Loki and Clint got a little handsy with each other; and Thor asked too many questions. It was one of the best nights of Tony’s life.

When the ship had sank, the diamond was disposed, the credits rolled, and everyone had caught up on their beauty treatments, they decided to end with a comedy. Loki whipped up a finishing mask with the powdered milk and water and slathered the odd gluey mixture to everyone’s faces before they all settled down and watched _Sister Act_.

Almost toward the end of the film, Loki declared it was time for everyone to rinse off and they all took turns. The avengers laughed, joked, and sprayed each other with water, being very careful not to get the ladies wet, as they washed the final mask off of their faces. Fury and Phil teased them all, and stood up to side with the ladies whenever they started nit-picking on the boys. They finished the movie, ate all of the frozen pizza and cheese sticks they had in the house, and killed the rest of the chips and bananas. Natasha even used her cheese sticks to scoop out the rest of the guacamole she was so desperately craving.

It was late in the evening and they were all tired, feeling-fat, and significantly in a much better mood than what they had been before stumbling into girl’s night. As they departed for their rooms Tony pulled Loki aside.

“Thank you,” he said.

“For?” the god asked lightly.

“Taking care of Pepper and everyone. For all of this,” he gestured around at the others, who had relaxed and very happy smiles on their faces.

Loki shrugged. “It was nothing.”

“Still,” he rubbed at the back of his head. “I just –”

The urge to please hit him and it was hard. It was a fast and painful stabbing sensation that went from his nipples to his loins. He closed his eyes tightly and held a hand to his forehead as the smell of the genius drifted temptingly to him. His brain told him firmly ‘no,’ and that he belonged to Clint, however the musky smell that spoke only of Tony, as well as the way his arms looked in that tight t-shirt… he could even smell Pepper on him…all spice and authority. Loki shivered.

“Are you alright?” he frowned concerned.

“You smell excellent,” he whispered sensually.

Tony frowned. “Pardon?” he stammered confused and licked his lips getting a little closer to the god, worried he’d hadn’t heard him correctly.

Loki opened his eyes as he inhaled, the action elaborated to draw attention to his throat and chest. He got a little closer and opened his mouth to say something before he froze. His eyes widened a bit and his face coloured as he snapped his mouth shut. “I have to go. I’m sorry, excuse me,” he turned and quickly left. His primal monstrous instincts tried pulling him back. He took the stairs two at a time and hurried to the room before anyone could say anything. Once there he closed the newly fixed doors and retreated into the bathroom, shutting the still-broken French doors, and carefully leaned against them a bit as he panted.

He felt too hot. Too wound up. Too aroused. His heart was pounding out of his chest and he was already starting to sweat. The need within him doubled and it started to hurt. Oh if only he could touch himself…have someone touch him… He let a hand slide down his front slowly and closed his eyes.

“Loki?” Clint called coming into the room.

“I’m fine,” he said and got up, stumbling to the shower and turned the water on to freezing. He stripped his clothes off and stepped in. He just barely turned on the heat, worried that if it was too cold it would cause his skin to change. He leaned back against the light-grey title and held a hand to his chest and the other to his forehead.

“Why do I feel like I should be hunting down Tony and bashing his dick in?” Clint asked coming in.

“It’s not him” he sighed and wiped some of the water over his face with relief as the burning need began to subsided. “It’s me.”

“Then why should I go hunt down and bash Tony’s dick in?”

“It’s…the…heat,” he said as his breathing started regulating. “He showed a sign of dominance through humility and…it’s…a thing…” he cupped his hands and splashed his face. “Would you please fetch me some night clothes?”

“You don’t wear night clothes?” he frowned.

“Yes, I do.”

“No,” he shook his head and thought about it. “Not willingly. In fact I haven’t seen you wear them since we first started sleeping together again in the hospital.”

“Clint, please?” he begged and splashed his face once more before doing the same to his arms and chest.

“Okay,” he said giving in without further protesting or questioning.

“Something long that covers almost all of my body.”

“Okay,” he nodded and turned, going to get the clothes. He found a long thin flowy white shirt and the Dr. Pepper pyjama bottoms. “These good?”

“Yes, perfect,” he sighed and stood directly under the water for a bit before he turned it off and stepped out. He spelled his body dry, took the clothes, dressed quickly, and then sat on the edge of the bathtub, rubbing at his arms.

“Are you cold?” Clint asked concerned.

“No,” he shook his head. “My nerves. I can’t seem to calm them.”

“Do you –”

“Please stay back for a minute or two.”

“Okay,” he said holding up his hands in surrender and moved back giving him space. “I’m sorry.”

“No,” he shook his head again. “It is all mine. I didn’t think I’d reach the peak so soon. Being under the Nightshade Sleep seems to have affected the timing and duration of them.”

Clint looked him over for a moment. “Do you need anything else?” Loki shook his head once more. “Alright then I’m going to find some pyjamas.”

“Whatever for?” he frowned at him.

“Won’t it be too tempting if you’re clothed and I’m not?”

Loki thought about it a moment and then nodded slowly. “Thank you…for your consideration.”

Clint shrugged it off. “That’s what people do in relationships.”

When he had left Loki alone, the god hung his head and covered his face with a hand. He was such a freak. A failure. A monster. He was so twisted and corrupted. This wasn’t fair to the archer. Clint deserved someone he could be intimate with without having to think twice or be cautious. He deserved someone he –

“So when you’re done beating yourself up, you’ll notice that I snagged a bag of chocolate from downstairs for you,” Clint said as he spat out toothpaste.

Loki jumped a bit surprised. He hadn’t heard him come back in, the water run, or him brushing his teeth. He hadn’t even sensed those things happening. Something was wrong with him. He nodded and sniffed, moving to the other sink to clean his mouth for the evening. He could feel Clint watching him, the questions that piled up within his mind, and his unwavering silent reassuring support.

“Tomorrow, I wish to sleep in,” he said quietly and glanced at him. “Is that alright?”

“Yeah, do what you need to,” Barton nodded and rinsed his mouth. “Training isn’t until later in the evening.”

Loki nodded and finished cleaning his teeth; the unfamiliar motions a bit clumsy still from only having practiced a few times. He rinsed his mouth and left as Barton started flossing his teeth. He pulled up a chair, and turned it away from the bed, before taking up a book and began reading.

After several minutes of mindlessly skimming the page trying to focus, it took him half a second, and the shadow of the archer, to realise Clint was standing over him, his face bent toward him. Loki ducked and held up a hand in a frightened fashion. The archer stopped; a pained look on his face as he realised what he was doing.

“I’m sorry,” he said and straightened away.

“No!” he said and reached out for him. He grabbed his shirt and pulled him gently and slowly back. He presented his forehead and Clint kissed it as he had intended to: sweet, simple, and with a small inhale. It tickled the god’s skin and pulled goose pimples along his body. His grip on Clint’s shirt tightened, he lifted his face and kissed the archer’s chin timidly. The moment his mouth made contact, he felt that desire flare up within him. He pushed it down and kissed up to Clint’s lips. He hesitated and kissed just to the side of them in case it drove his needs further. He wanted to make sure he showed the archer how grateful he was for being so patient and understanding.

“Do you want me to wait for you?” Clint asked softly.

“No,” he shook his head and began letting his grip go. “Sleep as you will, my mind is too restless.”

Clint nodded and went to check the door, his Sesame Street pants and baggy tank top looked odd on him as he moved across the way. He jiggled the handles and muttered about asking for the lock to be fixed soon before crawling into bed and under the covers. It was a sight that confused and brought a sad anger to Loki’s heart. Clint looked at him and he gave him a small tight smile and nodded.

The archer shut the light off near the bed and settled down. Loki was about to go back to reading when he saw Clint grab the pillow he used and pull it close. The sight of him burying his face into it, the knowledge that he wasn’t honestly upset, only concerned for his wellbeing, filled him with something he didn’t have words for.

He closed his eyes and swallowed as he turned into himself. _This would be a short change._ _A nights rest then we can be together again_ , he kept telling himself. He just didn’t want to put the archer into a position he was not ready for. Humans were different than Asgardians and Jötunns. Something considered minor for the long-lived races was a major ordeal for the other. Loki wasn’t even sure if Clint would be able to physically endure the demands his heat brought about every so often. He had only ever pushed Clint so far, and he knew that this would most likely push it that far and well beyond. He didn’t want to start something they couldn’t finish, or worse, hurt him in the process of trying.

 _You’re dangerous._ The darkness hissed. _Dangerous and ugly…_

Loki shivered as he felt his body change without his consent. He looked down at a blue hand for a few moments before ignoring it all and returned his attention to his book. The darkness giggled childishly and drifted within him contently.


	38. Chapter 38

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A gift for my loyal and wonderful readers, because I'm old and boring and have nothing else to do on my birthday apart from playing video games and editing fanfiction. Also, Happy (belated) Summer Solstice! I wish you the best for this new season!
> 
> All mistakes are my own; if anything looks or sounds weird please let me know. Thank you so much! Enjoy!

\----------------------38----------------------

Jane slammed on the breaks and threw her door opened. She took a few steps off the road and then doubled over and puked. She’d been doing it on and off for the past few days, ever since she saw the images of Thor on the TV.

Darcy sprang out of the passenger side and went to help her as Selvig pulled the camper up to stop behind them. “It’s okay,” she said rubbing her friend’s back. “It’s okay Jane.”

“No it’s not,” she said shaking and felt tears sting her eyes. “I’m being so stupid acting this way.”

“No, no you’re not.”

“I am!”

“You’re not. You’re just really stressed out. It’s okay,”

“It’s not,”

“Okay, right now it’s not, but it will be,” she promised.

“I hate him,” she whispered and inhaled trying to catch her breath.

“I know,”

“He lied to me,”

“He kind of did,”

“I still…damn I think I love him,”

“And that’s okay,” Darcy said and pulled out a water bottle from her purse. She offered it to Jane, who took it and rinsed her mouth out before draining half of it. “It’s okay to be mad and still love him. I’m sure there is a reason for it all.”

“No, he’s not even looking for me,” she sniffed feeling so pathetic. Was that why she was so upset? Ugh she felt so stupid!

“Well we’ve kind of been on the run, so I’m sure he’s having a –”

“Please don’t make excuse for him…” she sniffed again and rubbed at her eyes tiredly. “Not yet…just let me stay mad at him for a little longer.”

“Okay,” Darcy said and pulled her into a hug. “Do you want me to drive for a while?”

“Yes,” she said taking another calming breath.

“And then stop at the first DQ or Sonic we run into?”

Jane gave a small laugh and nodded. “Yes.”

“Okay, great, because I’m craving fries or mozzarella sticks and you need the ice cream.” She waved the ‘okay’ signal to Erik and helped Jane back to the Jeep. In less than four minutes, they were back on the road heading in circles toward the southeast.

\-------------------------------------------------

Natasha rolled across the ground, her stomach and back in agony as the giant metal ball swung up and around. It was aimed to hit her again. She twisted out of the way and felt something cold come over her. It was a pale blue dome of light and it encircled her protectively. Loki was crouched not too far away, his one hand out to focus and direct his magic, the other touching the leaf on a bush. The ball came down and deflected off of the shield and back toward the owner.

She took a moment to gather herself and then sat up. The magic around her faded and she gratefully sighed.

“Are you well?” he asked moving toward her.

“Yes,” she nodded and touched at her stomach tenderly. “I’m good. Thank you.”

“It was nothing,” he held out his hand and helped her up.

“On your left!” Steve shouted. Natasha and Loki both spun to their respective left and blocked the large men who had tried running into them.

The god threw his weight back into the man in all yellow and metal studs. The villain gave a small surprised cry and stumbled. Loki pushed at him again.

“Hey there sugar,” the one pressing himself into Natasha said. He was dressed all in green with a purple mask, gloves, belt, and boots. “You’re too beautiful to be hangin’ around des ugly mutts. Why don’t you let me take you out for a drink and a nice dinner some time?”

“Eh!” she rolled her eyes and made a face. “I would, but you see I’m too busy breathing in your foul odour. Maybe once you’ve taken a trip down the ugly tree, we’ll talk. I hear that if you’re already a horrid sight and you hit every branch on the way down it may improve your looks.”

The man growled and moved his arm back, calling forth his bizarre crowbar and went to hit her. It came in contact with Steven’s shield. The soldier landed a kick to the man’s chest and sent him flying back. Natasha sagged forward into Steve’s arms.

The one Loki had been up against backed down and tripped as he hurried to go help his leader. Loki spun and sent a blast of slippery water in the man’s path and chuckled as he watched him wobble and slide a bit trying to keep his balance before falling hard onto the pavement.

“They seem to be retreating,” Clint said as he watched from his advantage point atop a small building nearby. “I count one, two, three, four little bitches running ‘wheee whee whee’ all the way home.”

“Are you proud of yourself?” Natasha sighed heavily.

“Kind of,” the archer beamed and then stood and waited for someone to pick him up.

“I don’t get it,” Thor whispered coming over to where his brother, Natasha, and Steve were.

“He’s being silly. Just nod and pretend he’s very clever,” Loki whispered back. Natasha’s mouth twitched.

“I heard that!” Clint shouted and then gave a cry. They looked up and found him being hulled up and over the Hulk’s shoulder as he scaled down the building. He set him down gently before Loki, yet the archer staggered a bit. “That was like reverse King Kong…” he mumbled and found the god’s arms around him, helping him regain his balance.

“Hulk help Bird Man,” the Hulk said proudly and beat a fist against his chest.

“Thank you, Hulk,” Loki said kindly to him, bowing his head in a humble and grateful gesture.

The Hulk beat his chest again and roared. The gesture didn’t last long, for half way through he changed back into Banner who pulled his pants up with one hand and coughed from the force of having let out such a grating and mighty sound a moment before. “Hey,” he said weakly and coughed again.

“Hi,” Clint waved.

“Where’s Tony?”

“Right here,” he said flying toward them and landed next to Thor. “I was following them to make sure they were really on the run.”

“Oh yeah, letting them get away so easily,” Natasha challenged, “again?”

“Uh, well for your information they are currently heading toward government people who I happened to hook up with great tech gear and stuff. You’re welcome.”

“You don’t have my thanks, not until they’re off the streets,” she said and moved past him.

“Oh yeah, well you have my welcome regardless.”

“Okay guys,” Banner said waving a hand to gesture that they needed to calm down. “Big guy trying to de-stress here and my pants are falling down. There are people around.”

“Right,” Tony pushed a button and out popped a rolled up tube. He twisted the end and pulled out several tightly packed pieces of fabric. “There you are.”

“Thank you,” he said taking the garments and hurried to the nearest place with a bathroom that he could find.

“So, anyone in the mood for pizza?” Tony asked.

“Hey guys,” Phil said over the inner-com.

“No one here by that name,”

“Shush Tony,” Natasha said and tapped her link. “Yes Coulson?”

“I’ve got bad news,”

“This better not be about you eating my doughnuts,” Tony warned.

“I wish it was that news,” Phil said grimly. “We’ve just gotten a call from the police.”

“Yeah,” Natasha said curiously.

“Well…the wrecking crew escaped and there is a disturbance in the park.”

Natasha turned her glare at Tony, whose eyes widened. “What do you mean they escaped?” she asked darkly.

“They pushed the tanks in the alleyway over and ran off into the sewers.”

She sighed heavily annoyed and flexed her hands try to stay calm. “And the disturbance in the park?”

“Police called and reported ‘lots of sand’,”

“What’s going on?” Bruce asked putting his com-link back in his ear as he hurried back to the group now fully dressed.

“We’ve got another call,” Steve explained.

Banner’s face fell. “Seriously? I just finished changing!”

“I didn’t bring two,” Tony warned.

The guy rubbed at his face annoyed and then shook it off. “It’s fine. I’ll try and stay in Hulk form until we make it home.”

“Can you stay mad for that long?”

He glared at his friend, “Yes…yes I can.”

\-------------------------------------------------

Maria slammed files onto her desk. “They did what!?” she hissed tightly.

“They attempted to capture the Hulk,” Sam said again.

“I did not authorise that mission,”

“No, you didn’t,” Clay agreed and leaned his chair back to balance on two legs.

“Why was there a –”

“Pierce ordered it,” Clay said gently.

Maria snapped her mouth shut and took a moment to organise her thoughts. “He was the one that put me in charge of obtaining the Avengers, why would he…” she stopped speaking and flicked her eyes to Sam. He looked at Clay who was too busy examining his nails to share in on their little secret eye language. “Well regardless,” she said and gathered the paperwork she had thrown in anger back up. “I’ll take it as a sign that Head Councilman Pierce wishes for us to act quickly.”

“There is one thing that was successful with the operation,” Sam said leaning forward to give her a file. She took it and began looking it over. “The enzyme inhibitor worked. He was unable to transform after being injected with a regular dose of it.”

Her head snapped up, her face was blank yet her eyes showed she didn’t enjoy hearing that bit of news. “How many people know?”

“Everyone,” Clay answered. “Everyone and anyone in this organisation.”

Maria pressed her lips together and nodded. “Do we…know if he’ll…adapt…?” she asked quietly and very carefully.

Sam shrugged. “There’s no evidence for or against such a possibility. There is also a non-lethal dose of the Nightshade Sleep that has been made up for the aliens. It should subdue them long enough to get them in their respective cells.”

She nodded. “Loki will have to be hooked up to it.”

“There…have been tests done…” Sam said. The way his face twitched told how well he enjoyed knowing such information. “The mutants have responded better to this formula. Once we have him in custody, we can adjust accordingly. It seems that the cage we had originally built for the Hulk can keep Thor in. His cell has been reinforced and there is an order to cement his hammer and store it in the vault.”

She nodded knowing such a thing wasn’t possible, yet kept that knowledge to herself for the time being. “Very well. And Tony?”

“Stark will be put under top surveillance in an asylum on a remote island, along with Romanoff, Barton, and Rogers,” Clay concluded.

“They will be given medication at regular intervals to keep them sedated, and the proper measures for DNA extraction from Romanoff and Rogers will be taken. Stark is to be kept healthy and sane,”

“In case we ever need a weapon so we can just sober him up?” she remarked bitterly.

The two men nodded. She shook her head, her stomach churning at the thought of it all. “What of the raid on Xavier’s mansion?”

“All trails lead to dead ends. The families we have found either disowned their children or had no clue they were even mutants,” Clay answered. “They were all brought in for thorough questioning and have been tested to see if they possess the genetic trait.”

Maria swallowed. “Those that do?”

“If the parents do, they will be…” Sam shifted in his chair uncomfortably. “They will be sterilised to ensure they can no longer pass the trait on.”

Maria turned away from both of them. “And the children who did not go to Xavier?”

“If the siblings come out clear, they will be let go, if they have the potential to pass the trait on they will be registered in the system and watched carefully. If they test positive for a mutation that has yet to be developed, they…are being watched for now.”

Maria swallowed again, forcing herself to remain calm and collected. This was disgusting. It was highly inhumane and all around… she shook her head and looked back at them. “If we’re going to take out the Avengers we need to find their weakest point and strike at it. After that, take out from strongest on down.”

“Weakest would be their compassion,” Clay said. “They’re always running to the aid of whomever calls.”

“But they’re mainly New York grounded,” Sam pointed out. “Maybe if we set up a –”

“No, no more fake set-ups. It puts too many agents and bystanders in danger,” Maria shook her head and rubbed her mouth thinking carefully. She began pacing behind her desk. “We need to watch them for now. No more outright attacks. Maybe contact some of our double agents playing the villain-field and tell them to antagonise around New York for a bit and then move on to other places. If they pester and escape from the Avenger’s enough, the group is bound to follow the villains wherever they go.”

“Natasha’s persistent,” Clay reminded.

“Yes, but there are some she’s never been able to bring in. Sandman, that team of four criminals who were just added to our list, Batroc, that bird-guy –”

“That bird-guy?” Sam asked raising an eyebrow a little insulted.

“The creepy old man,” Maria clarified. “What about the man Tony faced last year?”

“The one the paper’s called ‘Whiplash’?” Clay frowned.

“Yes, what is the status on him?”

“Inactive and, to the public, terminated,”

“He’s still recovering on the Senkaku Islands,” Sam added. “Are we going to push things that far?”

“No,” she shook her head. “I just want to know that we have a plan ‘z’ at least.”

“You want to make him your plan ‘z’?” Clay challenged.

Maria opened her mouth to tell him off yet was interrupted by an alarm going off. All of the lights turned red and started flashing slowly. “What is it?” she said going to her computer to look for information.

Sam checked the screen on his watch and Clay ran to the door to find someone in the hall. The computer automatically went into lock-down, preventing her from accessing any information, regardless of her clearance. She looked at Sam who shrugged and shook his head.

“I’ve got nothing,” he said apologetically.

“Someone’s broken into one of our vaults,” Clay explained coming back inside.

“What?” Maria snapped. “Which one?”

“Not the main one, but an important one nonetheless.”

“Where and what did it hold?”

“More of a ‘who’ and a lot of ‘whats’,” Clay said. “Permission to –”

“Yes! Go! Take care of it!” she shouted waving her hand at him to leave.

“On it,” he saluted and went off.

Maria covered her face with her hands and exhaled heavily. “This is a nightmare and it hasn’t even begun…” she sighed and looked at Sam. “I want to know how they got in and then fix it. I want whatever security measures we can add to the other secure locations to be added now. All areas holding dangerous persons needs to be on alert and the guard doubled. I need a jet, a report, and a drink by 1600 to _day_.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he saluted and went to fulfil her demands.

Maria sighed and went to sit. The phone rang. She stared at it for a moment before she answered it. “Hello?”

“Excuse me Madam Director,” one of the intern agents said. “The council wishes to speak with you.”

“Of course they do,” she said with a sigh. “Tell them I’ll be with them in five minutes.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

Maria hit the receiver and then dialled Wilson’s number.

“Yes ma’am?” he asked upon answering.

“Make that 1300,” she said and hung up. She covered her face with her hands and took a moment to gather herself before rising and going to address the council.

\-------------------------------------------------

Steve felt the tree’s trunk smash into his back long after the wind had left his lungs. He folded over and crumpled to the ground with a soft groan.

“Cap!” Barton called. “Cap, are you alright!?”

“Ye-” he coughed and held a hand to his chest as he stiffly rose. “Yeah. I’m…I’m good…I need…a minute.”

“I’ll cover you,” Tony offered.

“I thought you said this was Sandman!” Clint called over the radio as he flipped into a higher branch of the tree he was squatting and sniping in. “I mean check out this dude’s leotard! I thought I left the circus!” he laughed and shot an arrow down at the blue and red suited man who was climbing up after him.

The arrow exploded and a giant thin, yet strong, net landed on the villain, throwing off his concentration and balance enough to pull him down the tree a bit. Clint went up to the next branch and realised it was as high as he could go. There was a hissing sound and he dropped, using his legs to grip the branch as he swung out of the way of two darts the man had shot at him.

“A little help here!” he called and continued to hang upside down. He fired an arrow out to stop the caped and hooded reptile looking man from tag-teaming against Natasha. She turned just in time to watch the man freeze and shake before going down from the stun arrow. She looked up at Clint with a nod in thanks and then dropped forward, grabbing the charging coppery suited man and flipped him over her shoulder. She rolled out of the way and sprinted to help Steve.

“I’ve got you,” Tony said and flew to help the archer. “Where is your boyfriend? I thought–”

“You thought what?” Loki said from the bottom of the tree. He was standing with a foot on the back of the tightly wrapped and now unconscious man who had been after Clint only two seconds ago.

“That having him on the team was a great idea,” he finished and brought Clint down to the ground safely.

Loki rolled his eyes and then went to look the archer over worriedly. “Are you safe?”

“Yeah, you?” he smiled, dusting his hands as he felt the blood rush back to his feet.

“Nothing too horrible.” He looked around with a frown and shook his head. “Their clothes are strange. They appear to be serpent like, yet they lack the fluid grace or power.”

“Only you would see something poetic in a slippery creepy snake,” Tony said as his face plate slid up.

“One of my sons happens to be a snake,” he admonished.

Tony closed his mouth and turned away awkwardly. “Yeah we’re good over here, thanks for asking!” he called out, pretending as though Natasha or Steve had said something to them.

“Where are Thor and Banner?” Loki asked looked around. Clint and Tony did as well. The answer came just as the ground began shaking and lightning set the sky ablaze. It struck down several yards away and a roar vibrated throughout the city.

“So…when you said Sandman,” Clint said pointing toward the swirling sand-tornado. “You meant that dude…and we just might have beaten up some weirdos cosplaying something from a new Mortal Kombat or anime?”

“No these guys attacked us first, and one of them had a gun and empty duffle bags,” Natasha said. “And by empty I mean I already took the money out of their possession. Come on!” she called charging forward, Steve and Tony rushing after her.

Clint looked unhappily back at Loki and opened his mouth to speak.

“No,” the god said and grabbed his arm to march him forward.

“But!”

“No,”

“Loki!” he whined letting himself be dragged along.

“There is an evening of pleasure in the future for you if you do this,”

“Done,” he said and began sprinting into battle.

“We can hear you!” Tony cried aghast.

Loki smirked and jumped into the fray. He was instantly overcome by sand, the rushing little pieces stung and bit at his skin. He held a hand up squinting his eyes as he tried to look around. He couldn’t see anything and he realised that no one else could either, apart from Tony. He waved a hand over his eyes and watched as several green flashes of magic popped up sporadically around the area.

A chorus of gratitude sounded from the group and they were able to easily move forward. Natasha ran and used Steve’s shield to propel her forward and landed a kick directly in the bizarre grainy man’s chest as Clint fired off a flame arrow. He fell over with a shout and the sandstorm ceased around them as the arrow went off and singed his shoulder.

As the air cleared, Loki could see a solid man lying on the ground groaning. They cautiously moved forward as a group and surrounded him. He didn’t look as tough as what Thor and Loki had anticipated. He sat up a little, giving them a vicious glare before losing his shape has he turned into a pile of formless sand. It poured across the ground, zigzagging with a life of its own, and scattered off into the grass.

“NO!” Natasha hissed and stomped her foot, trying to press some of the moving grains into the pavement. Steve set his hands on her shoulders to stop her and she gave an annoyed huff of resignation.

“So what do we do with the clowns?” Clint asked pointed over his shoulder to the group of oddly dressed men who were still unconscious or tied up.

“Take their weapons off of them, secure them, and then send the police force in,” Steve reasoned.

There was a sound and they looked to find Banner collapse onto the ground as his own self. Thor pulled his cape off and hurried to toss it over the scientist’s body. “He was cut by something earlier,” he explained.

“Cut?” Tony asked worried and went to his friend’s side. “Where?”

Thor pointed to a spot on the Bruce’s arm. “From a snake-man.”

“It doesn’t look good,” he announced biting his lip. “Do we have the weapon?” Thor shook his head. “Did you see which one?”

“The red and blue,”

“He threw something at me too,” Clint said. “He missed,” he added with a hint of bragging in his tone.

“Where is it?” Tony asked.

“In the tree,”

“Great, go get it,”

“What am I your –” Loki put a hand on Clint’s arm to stop him from arguing. The archer realised that fighting over such a thing was pointless and that if this was serious he was wasting time. He turned and hurried off to go get the darts.

“We’ll start wrapping the others up for the police,” Natasha said and touched Steve’s arm as she left. He stared at Banner worriedly for several seconds before he turned and followed her.

“Are you staying or going to help clean up?” Tony asked Loki.

“I can stay to help assist you,” he said rolling his sleeve up. He knelt and began looking the wound over.

“Good, I do not understand medicine,” Thor admitted and rose. “I am much better helping them than Bruce.”

“What is it?” Tony asked worriedly.

“Venom,” Loki replied and shook his head, “Though I am unfamiliar with what kind this is.”

“Here,” Clint said returning quickly with the darts carefully in hand. He gave them over to Tony who used his suit to scan them.

“Yeah,” he sighed, trying to contain his panic and anger. “It is highly concentrated snake venom.” JARVIS finished the scan and identified the source. “Fuck, Blue Krait.”

“Dirty weird fuckers,” Clint hissed angrily and glared at the bound and gagged group that Natasha was guarding over while Thor and Steve rounded up the weapons into a bag.

“We have to get him back to the mansion; I can’t do anything for him until we do.”

“I shall help you,” Loki said. The three of them wrapped Bruce in the massive red cape so that the mage could easily lift him without giving the world a show. They hurried toward the others.

“We have to leave first,” Tony explained.

“We got this,” Natasha confirmed. “Go.”

They did, Tony flying ahead to make sure the other three were not ambushed by S.H.I.E.L.D. vans. After the whole ordeal with the Registration Act, piddly bands of ‘villains’ had begun popping up around the city as well as protest groups, causing unnecessary trouble for everyone. With the villains, it started out as just some people trying to get a few seconds of fame, to now being well organised groups with specialty skills. Almost all of the Avenger’s encounters with them were followed by a large mass of people, curiously and supportively looking in. So naturally, they expected a crowd for such a public event, but not the reception they received.

A tomato went flying through the air and hit Loki in the side of his face. He turned his head and defensively held Banner closer and out of the line of fire. Clint dropped to his knee ready to act, and found a group of Anti-Asgardian protesters. It was something they’d seen on the news, heard about on the radio, and read about on the internet, yet hadn’t come across yet. These people were vicious, scared, and hated anything not American or from Earth.

“Get off our planet you freaks!” someone shouted.

“Yeah!” they cheered.

“How dare you bring aliens here!” a woman yelled.

“Stop hurting people!”

“Dangerous monsters!”

“Monters!” the crowd began chanting.

Clint straightened and grabbed Loki’s arm, pulling him away from them and toward the other exit. “Ignore them,” he whispered. “Ignore them all.”

Loki tried, yet found their departing cheers echoing louder and louder in his head the further they became. The three of them made it to the street where Tony was waiting with a company car. They got Bruce inside right before a rainstorm of rotten tomatoes and opened cans of sour smelling liquids were thrown at them. Tony got in the way and shouted for the people to stop, but they kept screaming incoherent vicious things.

A group of Pro-Avengers, who had been gathering down the way to welcome and cheer their heroes on, saw what was happening and ran toward the situation. They began shouting back at the Anti-Asgardians and chanting the Avenger’s names, thanking and clapping them on.

“Mutant freedom!” someone shouted.

“Dirty horrid monsters!” an elderly lady cursed as she reached out between Tony and the car door to grab at Loki. He looked down at her in panic as her soft yet surprisingly iron grip held him up from getting away. “You horrid thing!” she spat at him, “Go die!”

“Get out of here!” Tony ordered.

Clint gently removed the woman’s hand and pushed Loki in, hurrying behind him. “Go!” he shouted to the driver as he slammed the door shut.

“But Mr. St– ”

“He has a suit! Just go!”

Loki squatted awkwardly in the space between the seats as Clint crouched carefully near Bruce’s legs and feet. Loki closed his eyes tightly and tried keeping the darkness back.

“Hey,” Clint said and set a hand on his face. “Hey, look at me.” The god did. “Take a breath.” Loki shook his head and squeezed his eyes shut. “Yeah, come on, I’ll do it with you. Breath in.” They both did, although Loki’s was very shaky and much shorter. “Now out.” They released at the same time, Loki’s lower lip trembling. “Good. Let’s try again, in…”

So for the short trip back to the mansion, Clint and Loki focused on breathing. Once there they were greeted by Tony and Steve. They got Loki and Bruce out of the car just as Thor and Natasha landed. Clint had already informed her over the intercom, in a cryptic manner, of the situation.

“What’s –” Steve began, but Natasha gently pushed him out of the way to help Clint take the younger god in side.

“Just, everyone get in,” she ordered and they all retreated; Steve helping to open the door for the assassins and Loki, as Thor carried Bruce in and Tony took up the rear.

“To the bedroom,” Clint said in a voice that was positive and calm. “We’re almost there.”

“I can’t,” Loki gasped and stumbled on the first few steps. “Let me down,” he begged breathlessly. “Please.” They did, and the second he was on his knees, his skin changed. Loki tried desperately to crawl up the steps; however, the darkness was already hard at work to make up for the past few days of being silenced.

It shouted and bit at him as images flashed before his eyes. There were so many stars; he was falling; the smell of sulphur; _his_ laugh ringing in his ears; he was spinning and couldn’t stop; he was burning and he couldn’t move. He couldn’t even cry. He felt hands pawing at him and he begged silently for them to stop, afraid that if he didn’t they would tear him to pieces again. He swore he’d tell them what they wanted, so long as they promised not to hurt his family; he would do anything for them. No matter the sacrifices, no matter the cost in the end, he would throw everything away to keep them safe.

“Hey!” Loki heard being shouted in his face. “Hey! Loki, look at me.”

“I’m sorry…” he whispered, his voice faint and hoarse. “I’m sorry I failed…I’ll do better next time, please don’t hurt them. Please,” he begged between pathetic panicked sobs.

“Loki, it’s me,”

“Please master…” he curled into the warmth near his face, his hands gripping onto the fabric beseechingly. “I’m sorry…I’ll do better…please…”

There was a hand on his cheek and he flinched in fear of reprimand. “Loki, it’s Clint,” the voice said soothingly. “It’s me. Please open your eyes.”

 _Clint?_ He wondered, half ready to blindly plunge into the sea of hope forming at the melodic sound of his name.

 _Clint is dead,_ the darkness hissed and flashed an image of Clint’s body torn to pieces. Loki was looking in a mirror at himself, he was covered in blood and holding the archer’s head in his hands. He cried out and dropped it. “NO!” he pushed a bit at whoever was holding him. “No please…please don’t let it be true…” he sobbed.

“Loki? Baby, please look at me.”

The god shook his head quickly, refusing to do so.

“Loki please…trust me,”

Loki squeeze his eyes shut tightly for a moment before he slowly let them open, not daring to breath in case of what horror lay before him.

There staring back at him were the most beautiful blue-green eyes he had ever been lucky enough in his lifetime to see. He blinked a few times and lifted a hand up to pull some dark bit of hair, which had fallen in the way of them, aside.

“Hey,” Clint said softly with a smile. “Now I can see you.”

“See…me?” he asked confused and looked the archer’s features over. He smoothed a hand along his furrowed brow and then down his nose before tracing his lips and then touching his neck. “You’re not…dead…?”

“No.”

“It…” he cleared his throat and swallowed to try and wet his dry throat, “It said you were.”

“What did?”

“This darkness,” he whispered and shivered as it spread through him in a loving fashion. It made him sick.

“It was wrong,” Clint said and leaned down to kiss his forehead. “I’m right here,” he promised against his skin. “I won’t let you go.”

“And Bruce?”

“He’s upstairs. He’s being taken care of, don’t worry.”

“Did…” he closed his eyes and bit at his lips, “did they see me?” he uttered too ashamed to even think of their shock.

“No, Natasha and I covered you until they passed.”

“I’m sorry…”

“Don’t be…everyone has to meltdown every once in a while. It’s perfectly normal.”

Loki wanted to argue, but found he was suddenly so exhausted he wasn’t sure he would be able to even keep his eyes open for much longer. “Am…am I still…” he winced unable to finish his question.

“No, it was only for a moment.”

“I’m a monster…” he breathed and gave up fighting to keep his eyes opened.

“Don’t say that,” Clint begged sadly. “You’re not. You’ll never be.”

“They…” he exhaled tiredly.

“Shh, don’t push yourself. It’s okay, you don’t have to talk or explain anything.”

Loki closed his mouth with a small grateful sigh. Thor came down the stairs, a concerned and serious look on his face.

“What’s wrong?” Natasha asked him quietly when she noticed his look.

He shook his head a tiny bit and stopped halfway down. “I am concerned,” he admitted.

“You may smash their face in another day,” Loki said softly.

“Their escape is not what concerns me,”

Loki glanced at him to indicate the thunder god had his attention.

Thor came down a few more steps. “Does the darkness affect you so?”

Loki’s face became hard and he turned it toward Clint’s body. “I do not wish to speak of this.”

“I must know –”

“No you mustn’t,” he snapped. “This is between myself and the darkness.”

“And what do I tell mother when she asks?”

“You needn’t tell her a thing,”

“Loki I –”

“No Thor,” he said through gritted teeth, his anger rising along with the darkness. “Let it go.”

“Loki –”

“Let it go!” he shouted, sitting up quickly as though he were going to hit Thor. His voice was not his own and the way his eyes glinted suggested he wasn’t in control. Natasha moved back defensively and Thor took a step away. Loki turned back toward Clint and covered his face. Barton put his hands on his shoulders and then rubbed his arms in a soothing supportive manner. Clint looked up at the other two apologetically and then at Loki with a worried frown.

“How about,” Natasha said very carefully as she thought of several solutions to navigate them safely through their current problem. “How about we all just decide to respect Loki’s wishes and let it go? If he wants to bring it up later, that’s fine, and when and if he does, we’ll be there to help. Until such time, we’ll continue to leave it alone. Okay?” Thor nodded quickly and Clint firmly nodded once. “Loki?”

The god shook his head ‘no’ and then made a noise, curling in on himself and flinching in pain as the darkness clawed at his stomach.

“Hey,” Clint said softly and gently lifted Loki’s head. He pulled at his hands to move them down enough to see some of Loki’s grief stricken features. Clint shushed and brought him to his chest, protectively holding and rocking him back and for a bit. “It’s okay. It’s going to be okay,” he promised. “Talk to me and it’ll help it pass.”

“I…I have nothing to say,” he managed.

“Tell me about Asgard,”

“I already have,”

“Tell me more about it. What’s your room like? What’s the water taste like? What’s the rain smell like?”

Loki nervously let out a tiny exasperated laugh. “This is ridiculous,” he said stubbornly and swallowed down some of his pain.

“I want to know, tell me,” he insisted.

“No, Clint, I don’t –”

“Come on, last time talking about something helped. What makes this time different?”

Loki squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head. “Everything…” he whispered.

“We’ll do a swap deal. I’ll tell you something, you tell me something. I’ll start. So the water tastes like copper here. But some places I’ve lived it tastes like nothing, and some I’ve had to just close my eyes and pretend it tasted like nothing. Your turn.”

Loki took a deep breath. “It is water. It doesn’t have a taste. Nothing more.”

“So you’re telling me you’ve been all around the universe and _all_ water tastes the same to you?”

Loki lifted his head and glared at him. “Water doesn’t exist in every part of the universe, and I haven’t been all around it.”

“Well I mean you’d have to of been to know that water isn’t everywhere,” he shrugged.

Loki’s look darkened and he pushed away from the archer. “I’m d–”

“Sugar,” Thor said suddenly. Everyone looked at him. “The waters on Álfheim. They are sweet. Remember, brother? We used to always say such. We’d come home from visiting uncle and for a week after we’d put sugar in our water to sweeten it.” He laughed, “We used to pretend we were still there. Drinking their clear water, lying out in the grass, running up and down the cliffs; father would yell at us. Told us we were being wasteful and stupid. Mother would secretly sneak us cubes and encourage us to go picnic and share our treat. Sometimes, she’d even come out with us…” his face fell as pain settled over the happiness of the memories. “We…we had so much fun.” He looked at Loki, unshed tears welling up in his eyes along with endless questions.

Loki looked away sadly. “We did…once…”

Thor’s lips twitched and he went to take an enthusiastic step forward. “We could –”

“I’m tired,” Loki sighed and rose without acknowledging that Thor had spoken. “I need to rest…” he went up the steps without looking at any of them, using his hand to rub at the side of his face to shield the tears which threaten to fall from his eyes.

Clint stood and looked at the other god and Natasha. “I’ll look after him,” he promised and followed Loki up.

Thor closed his eyes and swallowed all of the things he wished he had the courage to say down.

“Don’t lose faith,” Natasha said.

“I haven’t,” he replied.

“You look as though you’re courting the idea,”

Thor shook his head slowly and then looked at her. “Sometimes I dance with it, yet with each time around, the steps seem less and less sure. The motions never quite perfect…yet I’ll still dance with it. Nothing more,” he said and turned to go to his room.

Natasha watched him until he was out of sight. She looked around the empty entrance hall, and suddenly felt so helpless and unsure. She hadn’t felt that way in years. Not since Clint had rescued her.

She gasped as she suddenly felt as though she’d run face first into a wall. She squeezed her eyes shut as foggy memories tried to force themselves to the surface of her mind.

_She was running through a hallway. It was dark and cold. She didn’t have any shoes on, only the thin plain cotton dress she was allowed. It had once been white. Time and several dozen washings had made it the colour of muddy rust. Her hair was short, ratty, and well beyond the greasy and unacceptable unclean stage._

_There was pain. Her ankle. She had stepped on it funny when she had run down the stairs. Why had she run? She had seen something she shouldn’t have. What had she seen?_

_“Natalia,” a voice sang, the word echoing sweetly down the hallway behind her. It made her blood freeze and panic surge through her._

_“Natalia…” they called cheerily again._

No, no, no, no, _she kept thinking._ Don’t look back. Don’t go back. Forward. Run. Run. _Run._

“Natalia,”

“No!” she screamed and slapped away the hands that had gently grabbed her. She stumbled backward, and crawled to the far side of the step she had landed on.

Steve held his hands up in a surrendering fashion and took a step back. “It’s me,” he said softly. “It’s Steve.”

She rubbed her face and then sat up, turning on the step to rest her elbows on her knees as she started crying. She felt him inch closer and she nodded and dropped her arms indicating it was alright for him to approach her. He sat down next to her and wrapped her in his arms.

“It’s okay,” he said holding her tightly. “I’m here.”

“I’m not,” she whispered and continued to cry to help relieve her overwhelming anxiety.

“I know, it’s okay. You be where you need to be, and I’ll wait here for you.”

Natasha hooked her arms around one of Steve’s and held him close as she was forced to suffer through the memory again.

\-------------------------------------------------

Clint closed the door behind him. He watched Loki move silently across the room. The god unbuckled, unlaced, and unclasped his armour and set it in the chair. He took off his jacket and tunic and laid them over the back of the chair slowly.

“Have I done something wrong?” he asked not looking at the archer.

Clint shook his head. “I was about to ask you the same thing,” he said and then cleared his throat as he started taking his utility belt off. He moved toward the other chair still watching the god.

Loki shook his head as he rolled down his undershirt sleeves. “No.”

“How are you f–”

“No,” he said a bit sharply and turned away. “Please don’t.”

“Why not?”

He shook his head. “I’m not worth it.”

Clint rolled his eyes. “How many times are we going to have this talk?”

“How many times will it take for you to see it is folly to try and prove me otherwise?”

“Loki, I’m a stubborn bastard, we both know this.”

“You have your limits,” he said simply and sat on the edge of the bed to remove his boots.

“Yeah, and so do you,” he said using the back of the chair to help balance as he removed his own.

Loki’s lips twitched between amused and sad. He sighed heavily and ran his fingers through his hair to help untangle it. “Still…I have forever.”

“Then why don’t you spend the time you have with me not fighting me about this?” Clint snapped rudely. Loki flinched and looked guiltily down at his hands in his lap. Barton sighed. That wasn’t what he had meant to say or how he had meant to say it. Loki was so cut off from him because of the darkness that he couldn’t even feel or sense his true intentions.

“Loki,” he said moving toward him. “I’m sorry…I didn’t…” he knelt before the god and saw he was really fighting back tears. “Loki, I love you,” he said taking his clinched hands in his. He brought Loki’s fists up to his lips and kissed his knuckles tenderly for several moments. “I love you so much, and it only grows by the day. I need you to believe me when I say it, please,” he begged softly.

“I do,” he whispered and inhaled suddenly as he forced himself to remain in control and not start sobbing. He wasn’t a child; he shouldn’t be acting in such a manner. It was embarrassing and infuriating.

Clint felt Loki open his hands and he pressed them to his cheeks, holding them there. He closed his eyes with a small sigh of content when he felt Loki cradle his face. “Then why are we fighting about this still?” He looked up at him after a moment of silence. Loki was staring down at him, brow furrowed, bottom lip trembling, eyes nearly overflowing with tears. “What can I do to make you know –”

“I’m not ready,” he breathed ashamed and closed his eyes, tears finally falling. A few splashed onto his lap and the rest started sliding down his cheeks. “I’m sorry,” he turned his face away and covered his mouth with one hand. “I honestly am. I…I can’t do this.”

“Do what?” Clint asked fearfully.

“I can’t say it,” he sniffled and wiped his face off. “I can’t say it back. I know you feel it, I know what you feel is not some child’s fantasy. I feel it’s real. I see it, yet I can’t,” he inhaled and brought his hands up to cover his face for a moment. “I have lived many years…I have seen and suffered a great deal, and in my time I…I have…only ever said it once to another…and I vowed to never say it in that manner again.” He stared miserably down at Clint; his unspoken plea for forgiveness apparent in his features and eyes.

Clint wanted to sigh gratefully, for a moment he feared Loki was about to leave him, yet he kept himself upright and void of his relief. “Loki, when I say it, I don’t expect you to say it back. I mean, I hope you do or that you at least feel something,” he added the last part with a shrug to try and play it off as though even if Loki didn’t feel the same way he’d be fine with it.

“No it’s not,” he said quickly. “I…I,” he put a hand to his heart and then turned it so that it opened toward Clint, as though he were about to offer it to him. “I care for you. Very deeply…I just…I want you to be sure that –”

“I am.” He said before the god could finish. “I am a thousand percent certain that I love you. I have been in love with you from day one. I will forever be in love with you. There is nothing in this world, or another, or the universe that can change my mind.”

Loki’s lips twitched again and his shoulders sagged a bit. “You say that with such conviction. I wonder if you realise how long forever really is.”

“It’s a long time, I know that much,”

Loki shook his head slowly and swallowed as he looked away from Barton’s honest and innocent face. “Things change in time.”

“And some things don’t. This is one of those things.”

“Clint –”

“Loki,” Clint said to get the god’s attention before he could come up with another excuse. The god turned is face to look at the archer and that was when Clint made his move. He kissed him. One of his hands moved to hold him around his waist, the other to gently brush through his hair and around to cup his cheek. Loki was still as stone for a moment before he leaned forward a bit.

He tilted his head and Clint countered. The kiss started slow and built with passion, climbing toward blazing. Clint moved his mouth to kiss at Loki’s throat. The god moaned and pulled Barton up to him more. They leaned back into the bed, Loki spreading his legs to allow Clint to kneel between them as he began kissing the god’s neck over and over again in quick succession, mumbling under his breath: “I love you; I love you; I love you; I love you. I love you so much Loki Frigguson. Master of my heart. Lover of my bed. Keeper of my soul. My sunshine; my moon; my earth; my reason to get up in the morning; I love you; I love you; I love you, no matter if you only say it once back or never at all, I will still love you. I will love you even if you stop wanting me. I’m yours.”

Loki lifted his chin and covered his face with his hands as he started crying. The way this mortal desired him was baffling. Clint saw him in all of his forms, yet he still wished to stand by him and keep him safe. He had caused the archer great suffering, yet Barton was forgiving in the most unnatural of ways. Loki wanted yet pushed him away so much, and all Clint did was give and pull closer.

“I’m a monster,” he whispered more to himself. He meant it in the sense of how needy and selfish he was. He knew Clint would think it otherwise, and he braced himself for more kind honest words.

“Then you are a perfect and beautiful monster whom I’m very much in love with,” Clint replied as he stopped for a moment to look down at him. Loki touched the side of his face with a sad guilty smile. Clint leaned down and kissed his lips gently, and then his cheek. He felt the god wrap his arms tightly around him as he pressed firm and loving kisses along Loki’s jawline. Loki buried his face in Clint’s shoulder and squeezed his eyes shut as he forced the darkness back.

“It’s small,” he said suddenly.

Clint frowned and tried looking at Loki’s face. “What?”

“My room. It’s small. Well,” he said considering his words. “I shouldn’t say small. Compared to what we have now, they are large, yet they are not as great as others in the palace. And I shouldn’t say ‘room’ for I have many within. I should say living space. That is proper.”

“How many rooms are there?”

Loki shrugged. “A few.”

Clint rolled them onto their sides so that they could look at each other better. “How many equals a few?” he asked smiling at the god as he pulled one of his long legs to wrap around his waist.

Loki’s face reddened a bit and he tucked some of his hair behind his ear. “Three…maybe four,” he shrugged a bit. “They are nothing splendorous or grand, such as Thor’s, but they are mine and they…” he paused as he realised what his next words had almost been. He furrowed his brow and swallowed sadly as he corrected himself, “They were…once…home…” He looked away unsure as to how he felt about hearing himself confess such a thing out loud.

“Well…I’ve always felt home is where your heart is,” Clint said and turned Loki too look back at him. The god tilted his head confused. “It’s an expression here on Earth that basically means ‘home is wherever you or your loved ones are’. So like when I was younger, my home was always with my mother, then my brother, and then myself. Sometimes it’d be with a friend, if I lived with them, or like for two years it was with Bobbi,” he rolled his eyes as he thought about that last one.

“Who is he?” Loki asked quietly.

“Bobbi was…” Clint cleared his throat and shrugged, not knowing why he felt guilty for bringing her up or admitting that relationship to the god. “My wife.”

Loki said up suddenly. “You…you were married?”

“It didn’t last long and I only did it because it was a pregnancy scare,” Clint said following him up quickly. “Her and I were kind of fucking around and I thought we were being careful and then she was late, and so I freaked and proposed, then we found out she wasn’t, and…” he shrugged and frowned as he looked away remembering that timeline of events, “and it pretty much never got better from there, but we were decent enough to each other. We worked a lot of the same hours or missions and the sex wasn’t bad, so we stayed together and got married. I mean she’s a great agent and a wonderful person, but she’s kind of…crazy jealous,” he made a face and did the cuckoo hand gesture. “It was suffocating. I tried dealing with it. We talked about it, fought about it, went to counselling over it, and then I just decided to end it.”

“I’m assuming she didn’t take that well?”

“No, I had to fake my death and hide out undercover for a while so that she’d calm down, but I mean,” he shrugged again. “She’s really nice.”

Loki clinched his jaw and then looked away. “I had no idea…” he whispered not certain why he felt so…angry over Clint’s confession.

“You’re mad,”

“No I’m n–”

“Yes, you are. I know that look. I’ve been around long enough to know it.” Loki turned and gave him a flat ‘ _oh really_?’ stare. “Okay,” he held his hands up in surrender. “Not as long as you have, but I’ve seen a diverse range of reactions and emotions from you to know that you are unhappy with me.”

“I…I’m honestly not certain why…”

“I can guess you probably are experiencing the same thing I felt when you started talking about Sigyn. Only you like care for her and stuff.”

“You care for Bobbi, do you not?”

“Eh,” he used his hands to demonstrate how he we weighing the pros and cons of his thoughts. “She’s honestly a really great friend; she’s kind of boring in the bedroom in terms of playful creativity; she’s really great at being an agent and doing her job, but…I don’t feel I ever made it past being her friend.”

“She loved you,”

“Uh, if that’s what you’d call being obsessive, then yes, she loved me.”

“You say you love me, is it untrue and only your obsession that brings forth your words?” he snapped a bit bitterly.

Clint smiled and ran his hands down Loki’s arms, “Oh baby, I _am_ obsessed,” he leaned forward and caught the briefest of twitches at the corners of Loki’s mouth. “I am obsessed body, mind, and soul.” He traced his nose along Loki’s cheek bone slowly. The god closed his eyes and opened his mouth as he accepted the touch and leaned his head the way Clint’s was travelling in hopes of a kiss.

“What makes your obsession so different?” he whispered.

“I love every part of you,” he kissed Loki’s jaw. The god’s eyes flicked opened as he stopped and stared forward completely frozen. Barton kissed down his throat slowly. “I love the mystery of you. I love your complexity, your honesty, your style, your smell,” he inhaled behind Loki’s ear and kissed the spot he knew made the god shiver. Shiver Loki did, along with shifting on the bed to turn more toward Clint as he loosely grabbed the front of his tank top. “I love your taste…” he licked up the god’s neck and Loki let out a small moan as his eyes fluttered closed.

“Clint,” he whispered and turned his face toward the archer’s. They brushed their noses together a bit, as they stared at each other’s lips. Barton smiled and licked one corner of his lips slowly. Loki swallowed quickly and then flicked his eyes up to find the archer looking into his. They leaned in to kiss. The darkness sprang up and slashed Loki’s face from within.

He gave a cry and pulled back, his hand flying to hold at the front of his face. Clint hurried to turn his face around and remove his hand. He looked the god all over and didn’t find a thing. “It’s alright,” he said as Loki began hyperventilating. “Loki, it’s alright.”

“I ca- I can’t see!” he gasped his eyes squeezed shut as his hands flew back to feel what the archer was claiming as truth. “I can’t see! My face!”

“There is nothing wrong with your face,”

“It clawed me!”

“Nothing clawed you. There is no mark. Your eyes are just closed,” he said moving Loki’s hands away. He held his face firmly between both hands and spoke over Loki’s mutterings and fearful gasps. “Loki your eyes are closed. Open them.” He shook him a little. “Open them!”

Loki opened them and looked around his line of vision for a bit before staring at Clint. “I’m…I’m –”

“Shh,” he soothed and brushed his hair back from his face. “Sh, it’s alright. It’s okay. You don’t have to be sorry, I understand.” He stood and gently pulled the god up. “Come on,” he said guiding him to the bathroom. He left Loki before the sinks as he fetched a cloth and wetted it. He wrung it out a bit and then pressed it to Loki’s throat and face.

The god sighed and closed his eyes gratefully. He leaned into the gentle cooling touch and felt his mind begin to settle.

“There we are,” Clint said softly. “See? Everything is alright.”

Loki nodded. “Yes…” Clint moved closer and kissed the god’s cheek. Loki wrapped his arms around him and Clint reciprocated the gesture. “No matter what you say,” he began with a heavy sigh. “I will still apologise over and over for you having to tolerate my personal mess.”

“Eh, it’s normal and understandable.”

“You astound me,” he confessed in a whisper after a few moments of silence.

“Do I?”

“Yes,”

“Why?” he asked confused.

Loki shook his head and let go of him. “Sometimes your generosity makes me…” he sighed. “I do not understand it.”

“Loki, you act as though no one has shown you any kindness.”

“There have been many, yet when it comes to personally intimate relationships,” he shrugged and made a disappointed face. “I can only vouch for two who have treated me well, apart from you, and even their behaviour still dumbfounds me when I look back on it all.”

“What? Only two? That’s crazy! How many relationships have you been in?”

Loki looked at him for a moment, his whole being radiated his exhaustion, yet Clint could sense the underlying tension his question had caused the god. Loki turned away without saying anything and returned to the bedroom. Barton followed him, expecting the god to only relocate somewhere more comfortable before they had that talk. He was disappointed to find that all Loki did was pick up a random book and crawl into bed.

He opened it and began reading without another word or look at Clint. They stayed in that awkward silence for several hours. Loki ignored him and read his book. Clint cleaned, polished, sorted, and inventoried his arrows. He marked how many of each he needed to make and then clustered equal amounts of them into his quivers. Afterward he tried another conversation with Loki, yet the god kept his replies to only one to four words. Clint gave up.

He was about to go down to the training room and let off some steam when someone knocked on the door. He opened it. It was Thor.

“Clint,” he said with a polite bow of his head.

“Hey Thor,” he said.

“I’m sorry to bother you both; however I need to speak with my brother.”

“Yeah, sure, no problem,” he waved him in.

Thor nodded and entered carefully. His face showed that whatever he had to say he had been thinking it over for a long period of time and with great consideration. “Brother,” he began.

“Thor,” Loki replied in the same monotone voice he had been using on Clint earlier.

“I want you to know, that although I do not enjoy you not confiding in me in regards to your…health status,” he said and licked is lips a bit nervously when he notice Loki turn a hard gaze at him, “I understand why you are doing such, and because I care and love you, I shall respect your request and leave you to care for it as you will.”

“Is that all?” he asked in a bored tone.

“No,” he shook his head. “I apologise for butting in earlier when we were on the stairs –”

“I’ll consider your forgiveness. You may leave,” he said turning back to his book.

“and I want to say goodbye.”

Loki tensed a little. He slowly looked at his brother. “Goodbye?” he asked quietly and uncertainly.

“I am leaving tomorrow morning,”

Loki swallowed fearfully, “For Asgard?”

He shook his head. “I wish to broaden my search for the Lady Jane. My one day trips have met with no success, so I enlisted the noble Son of Coul to help refine my methods. He has given me a map with the last known signal locations from her vehicle. I hope to find her soon, yet I will not return until I have better answers.”

Loki looked back to his book. His eyes flicked over the page in front of him quickly as he considered Thor’s words. After a minute of thought, he gave a simple nod once. “I wish you the best.”

“Thank you,” he smiled and seemed relieved by his answer. He went to Loki’s side and held out his arm. “Take care and rest peacefully,” he said.

Loki clasped it. “Keep a candle lit and may good fortune follow your steps.”

Thor’s mouth spread into a bright over joyous smile. It seemed to make Loki nervous and he quickly let go of his brother. Thor didn’t let it bother him, instead, he went to Clint and held out his arms. “Brother,”

Clint embraced him. “Stay safe,” he said and patted his back.

“You as well,” he replied and clapped Clint once on his back.

It knocked the wind right out of him, yet he recovered enough when they pulled away that he could cough and mumble, “Good fortune stuff and nice sleep with your candle and stuff, okay?”

Thor laughed. “Yes and the same to you. Shall I take my leave?”

“Yes,” Loki said without waiting half a second to reply.

Thor nodded and went to the door.

A thought suddenly occurred to Clint. “Hey wait.” Thor stopped and looked at him. “Banner? Is he alright? Do you know if –”

“He is safe and well,” Thor reassured him. “Stark is a very brilliant man and devoted friend. Not long after we parted ways did he cure him. He is resting in his room and has requested to be left in peace for the next few days. Natasha orders so upon pain of…well,” he shrugged with an intimidated fearful look on his face. “She threatened horrid things if anyone even thought of disobeying his wishes.”

“I’m glad he’s better,” he nodded and then glanced at Loki, who had dove back into whatever world he was discovering. He pointed between himself and the younger god. “We both are very glad. And we’ll do whatever we can to help and not have horrid things done to us.”

Thor nodded. “Tis for the best. I know my brother does not have a preference for gender; however, I do believe he wishes to keep you male. Goodnight,” he said and left without another word.

Clint nodded quickly. Yes, he wanted to keep all of the things that made him physically male too. He looked at Loki for a few minutes and then went to the foot of the bed where he had left his pyjamas. He put them on and went into the bathroom to perform his nightly rituals. When he returned, he found Loki hadn’t moved. It didn’t bother him, even though some part of him felt it should have a little. He crawled into bed and lay next to him. It wasn’t as close as he wanted, but he knew Loki still wanted and needed some space.

“Can I ask you something?” he said.

“Yes,” Loki replied softly.

“Will you read to me?”

Loki looked down at him, worried he hadn’t heard him correctly. “Pardon?”

“Will you read to me?” he repeated.

“This?” he asked pointing to the book. Clint nodded. Loki licked his lips and have a small shrug, “I suppose.” He felt a whisper of the archer’s wish and it broke his heart. He patted the space next to him and let Clint snuggle up a little closer. “O heavy deed. It had been so with us, had we been there. His liberty is full of threats to all— to you yourself, to us, to everyone. Alas, how shall this bloody deed be answered? It will be laid to us, whose providence should have kept short, restrained and out of haunt, this mad young man. But so much was our love, we would not understand what was most fit, but, like the owner of a foul disease, to keep it from divulging, let it feed even on the pith of life. Where is he gone?”

“To draw apart the body he hath killed, o'er whom his very madness, like some ore among a mineral of metals base, shows itself pure. He weeps for what is done,” Clint said reading the next character, Gertrude’s, line.

Loki looked down at him for a moment and then smirked a little before reading Claudius's part, “O Gertrude, come away. The sun no sooner shall the mountains touch but we will ship him hence, and this vile deed we must, with all our majesty and skill, both countenance and excuse. —Ho, Guildenstern! Friends both, go join you with some further aid. Hamlet in madness hath Polonius slain, and from his mother’s closet hath he dragged him. Go seek him out, speak fair, and bring the body into the chapel. I pray you, haste in this. Come, Gertrude, we’ll call up our wisest friends, and let them know both what we mean to do and what’s untimely done. So dreaded slander— Whose whisper o'er the world’s diameter, as level as the cannon to his blank, transports the poisoned shot—may miss our name and hit the woundless air. Oh, come away! My soul is full of discord and dismay.”


	39. Chapter 39

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHHH!!! I just realised that this didn't post the way I thought it did! I'm so sorry! I think I accidentally hit the 'save draft' button instead of posting it. I normally check, but it's been a crazy couple of weeks. I profoundly apologise for the wait and I promise I will forever check that something posted from now on.
> 
> Thank you for your continued support and patience. The next chapter is in final editing stages and will be posted soon!  
> All mistakes are my own fault. Please enjoy the chapter.

\----------------------39----------------------

“Hey,” Tony said knocking on the door.

Bruce rolled over to see who it was and then waved him in. He pulled his blanket up over his shoulders and shivered. “Hey,” he said quietly.

“I just wanted to make sure you were still okay,”

“Yeah,” he sighed heavily and rubbed his face tiredly, careful of the IV in his hand. “I’m…doing better.”

“It’s been a rough few days, huh?” he said awkwardly and looked at the ground as he crossed his arms over his chest.

“Yeah…it has…” Bruce nodded and then frowned when he noticed his behaviour. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, I just,” he shrugged, “I wanted to make sure you were alright.”

“Tony –”

“You can come on vacation with us, if you want,” he began and rubbed at the back of his neck. “I know you’re not one for enclosed spaces, but I figured –”

“Tony –”

“Or I could send you off somewhere nice? Wherever you want just say it and I’ll –”

“Tony,” he said firmly. The billionaire snapped his mouth shut and swallowed. “What’s wrong?” he said in a much gentler tone.

“The…” he cleared his throat and put his hands in his pockets. “The enzyme…I did those tests you ask for.”

“And?”

“It’s…it’s not good,” he shook his head. “Banner it’s…it has your DNA in it.”

“What?” he asked sitting up suddenly and regretted it. His system was still fragile and although his radioactive blood had blasted the worst part of the venom away, there had been enough left over to do some damage, not to mention the huge dosage of antivenin Tony had, well-meaningly, shot into him in his panic. Even though he was getting better and, indeed had felt it a few moments ago, Bruce was still in for a slow recovery.

“I mean, I think it is. I’m not certain. It looks similar to the samples you let me use to figure it out, but I’m not a hard core scientist. I’m a numbers-tech-build-suits-and-make-things-go-boom kind of guy.”

“But how could they have my DNA? You said you made sure that you destroyed all of the files they had about me.”

“I did. I swear I did. I bugged the whole system, stole all the Tesseract and sceptre information, and wiped the ‘Banner/Hulk’ project right off the entire everything and bribed some intern to give me the hardcopies and the samples. I destroyed them when we first got to the tower.”

“What about that flash drive Fury had on him? Was there a copy of any information on there?”

Tony opened his mouth and then shut it. “I don’t know,” he admitted honestly. “I haven’t looked at it.”

“What?”

“It’s a big dea–”

“It’s a flash drive,” he said flatly with just a touch of anger.

“There are a lot of things on there and –”

“Of course there are things! It stores information!” Banner yelled becoming frustrated. His head spun and he was trying to focus on the centre Tony standing before him and not the other two dancing around him.

Tony took a step back and looked away from him. “Bruce,” he said softly. The scientist panted and glared at him forcing himself to remain in his human form and/or not puke. “Bruce,” he said again. “This flash drive has information from the very beginning. Fury told me it is basically all of S.H.I.E.L.D., from day one to the day he left. There…” he swallowed and felt sadness seep into him. “There might be information about my parents crash and…I…I don’t know if I’m ready to know about that…” he confessed.

Bruce froze for a second and felt the Hulk sink into himself. He felt horribly guilty for not even considering such a possibility and opened his mouth to apologise.

Tony held up his hand. “Don’t. I know, and it’s fine. I mean,” he shrugged. “No one’s ever thought it was anything out of the ordinary. Just a drunken car accident. Why would it be anything else?” he sniffed and rubbed at his nose. “I’m going to search it. For you,” he nodded surely and looked at his friend. “If there is anything on there about you, I’ll destroy it and then try and break into S.H.I.E.L.D. to get rid of their copy. I’ll figure this out and fix this.”

“Tony…” said Bruce as guilt filled his chest.

“It’s okay,” he reassured. “You’re my friend and my responsibility. Everyone in this house is. I have to take care of you all. I’ll figure out if the DNA is really yours and how they got it. I’ll also start testing a way to counteract the enzyme.”

“It’s fine,” Bruce said and shook his head. “Just…get rid of the files and I’ll do the rest of the science stuff. You’ve…you’ve gone beyond what anyone would do.” Tony opened his mouth to shrug his comment off but Bruce continued, “No I mean it. Thank you.”

Tony looked at him out of the corner of his eye. His lips twitched a bit and he cleared his throat again. “So, do you want me to leave –”

“Yeah, just leave it all and I’ll take care of it tomorrow when I get up.”

Tony nodded and bit at his bottom lip a bit. “Feel better,” he said and then motioned toward the door. “I’ll leave you to rest.”

“Thanks, and you take care too.”

Tony nodded again and left. Bruce laid back down and felt the Hulk curl up in his mind.

_Friend…_ he said innocently. _Good friend._

“Yes…” Bruce whispered. “Tony is a very good friend.”

_Family…_

Banner tensed for a moment as an idea crept into his mind. He shot up out of bed and began searching for his phone in a panic. Family! Of course.

“Jennifer…” he whispered worried and dialled her number. It rang. He was starting to shake.

“Hello?” she asked, her voice was tired, as though he’d woken her up.

“Jenny?”

“Robby?” she whispered. He could hear her moving around and then the click of her ancient bedside lamp. “Robby what’s wrong?”

“Are…are you alright?” he asked trying to calm himself down. She was safe. She answered the phone and was alright. Right?

“Yeah, why? What’s wrong? You sound –”

“Has anyone been following you?”

“What?”

“Has anyone been following you? Or attacked? Or did you cut yourself in public and see someone collect it?”

“What the hell are you on about?”

“I…” he hesitated for a moment. “I…something happened…” he whispered.

“Oh my god,” she gasped and then the phone was filled with the sounds of her fumbling around for things. “I’m on my way. Tell me where to go.”

“No, stay where you are,” he hurriedly said. “I didn’t mean to scare you, I just – it’s –things aren’t making sense and I…” he rubbed at his face and lay back in bed. “A few days ago I was out trying to assess a mission situation and S.H.I.E.L.D. ambushed me –”

“Oh my god! Robby are you alright!?”

“Yeah, I’m better now, it’s just a small pin prick. They jabbed me with this thing –”

“Ah! Robert!”

“I know! It was awful and hurt like hell!” he said relaxing some as their easy flow of conversation started up.

“I bet!”

“Yeah, but the worst part was inside it,”

“Oh no, do you have bird flu or intestinal herpes now?”

“No, it was an enzyme,” he said tensing up a bit as the Big Guy became anxious over the memory.

“An enzyme?” she asked confused.

“Yeah, it supressed my body from producing adrenaline so I couldn’t Hulk-out,”

She was silent for a moment. “You…it did what?” she asked carefully and softly.

“I couldn’t change into the Hulk. It stopped the process and blocked him from my conscious altogether.”

“How…how –”

“I don’t know, but I…I called because I was worried.”

“And you think it has to do with me?”

“I think, I’m not certain,” he sighed heavily. “Jen, Tony ran some tests and he said they had my DNA.”

“I thought you said they didn’t have anything about you anymore?”

“They shouldn’t…but I…when he was in here and told me that all I could think of was that too, but when he left I suddenly thought what if they didn’t have _my_ DNA? What if they had…” he stopped and realised it probably was better if he had never called her. “I’m sorry,” he said quickly.

“I had tests done two months ago,” she said. Her voice was odd and it made him uncomfortable. “For a gyno-visit and then again when I needed a tetanus shot. They took blood both times and there were new nurses for each doctor. They never told me their names or said much other than what they needed and promptly left. In fact one of the doctors said he was going to send someone in to draw blood, but when I told him I already had it done he was confused.”

By the end of her explanation, she sounded as though she was panicking. Damn, that was _not_ what he had wanted to do to her.

“Jen, take a deep breath, it’s okay,”

“Oh my god,” she panicked and he could almost see her pacing around her studio apartment. “Oh my god, Robby!”

“It’s okay,” he reassured. “Jennifer, it’s going to be okay. I didn’t call to make you worry. I was – oh dammit,” he sighed and rubbed at his face.

“Robert, I’m your kryptonite!”

“My what?”

“Your weakness! S.H.I.E.L.D. can do anything they want to me as a way to get to you and –”

“Jen, it’s okay,” he said again. “Jennifer, listen to me, we don’t know if –”

“Robert!” She gasped, “I can’t find my inhaler.”

“It’s on the dresser,”

“I’ve looked!” she wheezed. “It’s not there!” she forced out in a tiny squeak.

“The spare is in the bathroom cabinet.” He waited for her to take it and breathe a bit before he continued. “Are you listening now?”

“Ahuh?” she said, and he knew the muffled sound was from the paper bag she had at the ready in case she started panicking again.

“What does your schedule look like?”

“I’m booked until the twenty-ninth, why?”

“Um…” he cleared his throat and rubbed at his temple. “I just wanted to make sure. I’ve…I’ve got a plan and some things to work out, I’ll keep you updated, but listen, keep going about your life normally –”

“Normally!?” she squeaked ready to slew a wagon full of protests at him.

“Do you trust me?” he asked sternly.

“Yes,” she said without hesitation.

“Then I need you to do this. I’m going to take care of you,” he promised, “I’m always going to take care of you, no matter what. Okay?”

“Okay,”

“So keep things normal and don’t worry. I’m going to finish resting and then hopefully tomorrow I can get to the lab and work things out.”

“Resting?” Jennifer asked concerned. “Robby, you said the ambush was a few days ago, are you still –”

“No this is from snake venom,” he said and then instantly wished he could take it back. He cringed already dreading her inevitable reaction.

“SNAKE VENOM!?” she gasped.

“Jennifer, please breathe into the bag. I’m fine. I had my friends help me and I’m on the right path to recovery.”

“What hospital are you at?”

“I’m…not at one.”

“What!?”

“We have medical equipment at the mansion,”

“I’m going to die,” she huffed and he knew she was back to pacing. “I’m legitimately going to die and it’s going to be all your fault Robert! And I’ll sue you for it!”

“I apologise in advance,”

“I’m just – GIIIRRR!” she growled and he was glad he wasn’t having this conversation face to face. For as timid and quiet as his cousin was, she sure had a ferocious temper that made the Hulk whimper and scuttle into a corner. “Is there _anything_ else you need to tell me?”

“Uh…no. No that’s about it,”

“Are you _sure_?”

“Yeah. Yep that’s all.”

“Are you just telling me that to keep from me worrying?”

“Nope, that’s about it. Other than I think I need to puke in a few minutes, but that’s normal with stre–”

Her highly irritated huffing sigh made him stop speaking. “Do I need to cancel things and bring you out here? Or do you have to stay at the mansion? Because I’ll come over –”

“I’m good Jenny,” he promised. “Actually, even though I feel horrible for calling and worrying you, I feel better because I spoke to you.”

“I’m thirty-seven; I’m not buying that line anymore,”

“I’m being sincere,”

“And I’m going to kick your ass when I see you again,” she promised with a loving tone to her voice that made Bruce know she was smiling on the other end. She was joking. That was a good sign that she was calming down and would be fine.

“The Big Guy and I are looking forward to it,” he laughed.

“So…” she sighed to calm herself down a little more. “You’re sick and it’s late, I’ll let you go so that you can rest, but promise you’ll call me later?”

“Yes. I promise. And promise that you’ll text or call me instead of needlessly fretting?”

“I promise,”

“Sleep well Jenny,”

“Sleep well Robby. I love you,”

“I love you too,” he said and waited for her to hang up. “She’s safe,” he said setting the phone down on the bedside table. “See,” he exhaled carefully and settled back to bed as best as he could. His stomach was twisting into knots and his body ached horridly, yet the knowledge that she was safe and that he had begun forming a plan made him feel a little better.

After several minutes, he had to get up and hurriedly haul himself and the IV tree into the bathroom to puke. He rinsed his mouth and splashed his face with cold water until he didn’t feel so overheated and tense from the ordeal before going back to bed. He hadn’t been lying there long, just at the edge between dreaming and awake when his phone started ringing. He reached for it and answered it without looking.

“Hello?” he asked; his voice thick with sleep and his tongue clumsy.

“Robert what if they know we know?” Jennifer’s panicked voice asked over on the other line.

He rolled onto his back with a heavy sigh, yet his mouth had a smile on it.

\-------------------------------------------------

It was a little after noon and Loki was still in bed. He turned a page of his new book and let out a small tired sigh. It had been a long few days. The attacks, the pro-testers, his heat, the emotional distress from his talk with Clint, and his brother’s absence all played a role in placing a heavy weight onto him. All of the negative and deep feelings were feeding the darkness; making it quite repulsively fat and content. It currently rocked gently from side to side in his belly, purring with delight.

He knew he ought to get up and find someone to converse with or do something to distract himself from his wandering thoughts. He wished he could submerge himself in a project that wouldn’t let the darkness in, yet every time he tried his heart began beating oddly, he felt too hot, and he couldn’t draw enough breath. It was becoming concerning and he almost wondered if he shouldn’t do as Thor suggested and contact a guardian for help.

But no, not after his ordeal in New York. None of them would be pleased enough to help him right away. They’d all want something hefty in return or demand he amend his actions before even considering helping him. He knew he was running out of time to act. He was stuck in a very difficult place, and the nearing of winter only made his fears worse.

It wouldn’t be long before spring and then –

Loki blew air heavily out of his nostrils and shifted bit to stop that train of thought. He was supposed to be reading, but the book was about love and romance and, depending upon the passage, it either overly excited him or made him feel horrible as he thought about Clint. He was being so patient; too patient for ordinary. Well ordinary compared to Loki’s standards. The archer was a guardian, or one of the Midgardian Saints he’d read about, in the way his tolerance and devotion seemed to never waver or end. And Thor’s last words? Loki knew better; the thunder god was away for more than just to find his lady-love. He would probably return with half his soul and a thousand curses for risking it all to find a cure for Loki’s darkness. The god partially hoped he’d succeed in his task, yet the other hissed and stabbed at his guts viciously for ever thinking of freedom.

He winced. He felt energy shift behind the door. Clint entered and shut the door carefully with a very pleased cackle of laughter when it clicked. He locked it and rubbed his hands together.

“What?” Loki asked not looking up.

“It locks,” he said and took off his shoes and shirt before flopping onto the bed. “It locks and I’ve got the night off.”

“It locked yesterday and you had that night off as well,” he replied dryly, forcing himself not to wince as the darkness bit at him for more.

Clint rolled his eyes and turned onto his back. “Yes.”

“So why is this thing so special still?”

“Please, I know you’re excited about it, but you need to try and contain your emotions,” he said holding up a hand at the god. “They’re becoming a bit much. Calm down.”

Loki smirked and turned another page. Clint watched him for a little bit and then stared at the ceiling.

“So…”

“Yes?” the god’s brow rose just slightly.

“So I’ve got the night off,”

“And…?”

“And…I was wondering if you wanted to go out?”

Loki’s mouth fell into a serious line and he looked up toward the far wall for several moments before he shook his head slowly and went back to his book. The darkness pleaded and pawed for him to go out. He knew that if he gave in and ventured out nothing good would come of it. It was safer to stay put.

“What?” he sighed and rolled over. “Why not?”

“What is Tasha doing?” he asked attempting to distract Clint.

“Whatever she wants, it’s her night off too. Why?”

“Why don’t you go ask her to spend an evening?”

Clint stared at him confused and then blinked several times. “Why would I do that when I can spend time with you?”

“I…” he hesitated and bit his lip as he carefully chose his words, “I’m tired. I’m afraid I won’t be of much useful company this evening.”

“You said almost the same thing yesterday,” he pointed out a bit snippy as he quickly brought his legs around and sat up. He crossed them and set his hands on his knees.

“This has been a hard few days.”

“Is this about the –”

“No, this isn’t about anything,” he snapped shortly and brought a hand up to rub at his forehead. The darkness giggled and snucked up his chest to drink in his guilt.

Clint licked his lips and nodded. “Okay…well –”

“Tell her my greetings,” he said in a finalised tone that suggested he was done talking for the time being.

Clint slow got up, taking his time to pull on his shirt and grab up his shoes. “I love you,” he said before leaving.

The god tensed slightly and said, “I care for you as well.”

\-------------------------------------------------

“You’re not doing anything wrong,”

“Then why is he –”

“I mean you both have kind of been up each other’s asses for several weeks. He probably needs some space,” she said with a shrug and stuffed more cheese fries into her mouth.

“Is it –”

“No, it’s both of you. So stop trying to find a place to put the blame.”

“Then –”

“Okay so he’s like forty-two hundred and something, right?”

“Yeah,”

“He’s been alone his whole life, yet he’s been around enough to have collected a couple of kids along the way; Thor said he’s never been in a fully committed relationship but once; he only has like maybe three real friends; and he’s hesitant about dropping the l-word. There has to be a reason, and it’s not all you and it’s not all him.” She picked his corndog up and bit into it before putting it back on his plate, “relax already.”

“I’ve just never felt this way about anyone before,” he said a little gloomy and pushed his fries around as he rested an elbow on the table and then his cheek into his hand. He gave a heavy sigh.

“Oh my homeland,” she sighed and rolled her eyes. “Clint, you look like some fourteen year old pining for her popular football crush to notice her nerdy shy book-liking ass.” He looked up at her, his eyes sad and large and his lip poking out just slightly in a pout. “Don’t give me that look,” she warned and drank her beer. “Seriously, you’re a grown man of forty-one. Just calm down.”

“He won’t even kiss me,” he sighed heavily and went back to pushing his food around. “We haven’t had sex since the night before we moved into the mansion and he’s being…weird. He’s never been shy about his body, but the last few times I’ve walked into the bathroom with him in the tub or shower he’s like shied away and covered himself up; he’s wearing clothes to bed; he sits up reading until I fall asleep to get out of snuggling or talking with me; and –”

“And you’re obviously missing all of the signs and symptoms of ‘I-live-so-far-up-my-boyfriend’s-ass-I-can’t-actually-see-he’s-uncomfortable-in-his-own-skin’ disease.”

Clint snapped his mouth shut. “Do you think he’s still on his man-period?”

Natasha sighed frustrated and rolled her eyes. “Yeah, just like he didn’t throw himself off of a bridge because he found out his life was a lie and that he was the very thing he was raised to hate.”

Clint thought about what she’d just said. “Oh my god.”

“There it is,” she muttered and ate more as she watched the news on the TV in the corner. Some robbed another bank. The scene was too clean for it to be those four clowns they kept running into. She narrowed her eyes. She’d get them soon enough.

“I’ve been so selfish,” Clint said putting his hands on his forehead. He felt as though his world was falling out from under him. It was so simple.

“Oh, and that’s where you’re taking this,” she commented with a casual shrug.

“Natasha I’m being serious,” he said a tad angrily. “I’ve been demanding of him.”

“You are with most things,” she shrugged eating more fries.

“I’ve been so insensitive,”

“That’s usual,”

“And selfishhhhut up!” he hissed as his brain registered her side comments. He threw a crumpled napkin at her to help stress his aggrivation. “Like seriously, shut up and let me talk this out.”

She picked the napkin carefully and calmly up, giving him a flat look that said he had her attention, but if he ever dared throw another dirty object at her he’d regret it for the short time he’d still be alive.

“Okay, so the only people that know he’s Jötunn are his parents, brother, you, him, and myself. The only people who have seen him change are like…him, you and me. Thor said he’s never actually seen it.”

“So?”

“So! So to be Jötunn is to be…” he inhaled and shook his head. “To the Asgardians, to be Jötunn is to be a monster. The darkness uses that against him; makes it his ultimate weakness. If…if I help break him of that notion…then…”

She stared at him, already knowing where he needed to go, however she decided it was much more amusing riling him up before he got to the point. “So you’re going to just walk in there and twist his arm until he believes otherwise?”

Clint glared at her and snorted, “No! I’m going to show him that his blue skin – his _real_ skin, his…his real form,” he breathed growing excited as his temper subsided over the thought of helping the god’s self-esteem in such a way. “I’m going to show him that he’s beautiful. No matter what colour his skin is, whatever race he is, and what not…I’m going to show him that he’s not a monster. That’s he’s beautiful.”

“Yeah but you’ve never really seen him in his true form for very long,”

Clint shrugged and drank some of his beer. “I think it’s beautiful. I mean, did you see Steve’s naked body clearly the first time you both had sex?”

“Yes,” Natasha answered.

Clint flared his nostrils at her, “No you didn’t. Lacy bras scare him into the colour of a tomato; I know for a fact those lights were off for at least the first five times.”

“First,” she corrected and sucked the liquid cheese from off her fingers. “I got a good view of him the morning after, where I promptly stole his towel and then threw the blinds opened.”

“Yeah, well how long did foreplay last because of his shyness?”

She smirked and laughed as she sucked a glob of cheese off of her thumb and wagged her eyebrows at him suggestively. “I hate you sometimes,” he said looking away from her.

“No you don’t,” said Natasha taking his corndog to snag another bite again.

“Yeah, sometimes, just like sometimes you hate me.”

“I don’t hate you,” she said and dramatically rolled her eyes. “Sometimes your face just says ‘punch me’ _really_ loudly. Normally it’s just a suggestive whisper.”

“Well tune it out and help me work something out.”

“Like what?”

“Like how to get us alone,”

“We are alone.” She said in a stupid innocent manner to further mess with him. She looked around the room and shrugged as she reconsidered her answer, “Alright, well we’re as alone as we’re going to get.”

Clint almost face palmed. “I’m talking about Loki and I. How can we get Loki and I alone so I can put the moves on him and show him blue is sexy?”

“Just do it then,” she shrugged. “You’ve both never been worried about doing it before.”

“I can’t. The last time I tried he fumbled out something lame about others could hear.”

She glared off into the distance and hissed, “Stark.”

“Yeah, he was talking to Loki in the hall the other day. Suddenly we were getting ready to kiss and then poof! No more mentions of sex. No more touching. No more kissing or anything where others can potentially hear. Y’know, that used to be a huge turn on for him.”

“Having loud obnoxious sex?” she asked eating some fries.

“No, having sex with others around. Being loud enough to let people know how great it was or he’d use magic to cover it up if we were in public. He’s really kinky,”

“Oh no,” she rolled her eyes. “Not a kinky one.”

“That’s why I’ve been looking into buying some toys online. I thought it’d be fun to like,” he shrugged and gave her a look. “But he’s so ‘no’ about it, I feel as though I’m living with a fourteenth century nun.”

She nodded understanding his meaning and drank some more of her beer. “So you need the house to be empty?”

“Yeah, or at least it to seem as such, but knowing him it’d be better if it was.”

“Well Fury and Phil can’t leave, so they’ll have to hide out on their side quietly.”

“That’s cool. I just need you, Steve, Tony, and Banner to leave for a while.”

“How long?”

“A long while.”

She sighed. “Do you want two hours or a night?”

“Night would probably be better. He’s stubborn; this isn’t going to be an instant thing.”

“Y’know there might actually be a whole other reason that you’re completely missing for why he’s like this right now?”

“What? What could possibly explain his behaviour better than this?”

“Thor’s gone,” she said in a ‘duh’ voice.

He made a face. “It’s his brother. Not his lover.”

“No,” she sighed and rolled her eyes. “No, Thor’s gone. He went off to get the woman of his dreams. She has a friend that won’t leave her side and a man who Loki once mind-enslaved.”

Clint looked at her and then shook his head as he considered it. “We don’t even know if she’s with Selvig and Lewis.”

“Phil said she was with them the last time he saw them, what makes you think they won’t be together now? Especially after her name, along with Selvig’s, was dropped several times at that hearing.”

“I don’t think that’s what’s bothering him. He doesn’t seem to honestly care much for whoever Thor is looking for, and he doesn’t seem to even know Thor’s other motives.”

“Okay, but let’s be honest with ourselves, Loki is much smarter than what he leads on, and I know he knows better.”

Clint looked away from her and sat there silently for a while. “Okay…but I still think that this has to do with his heritage. He’s…he went into a natural heat cycle and wouldn’t have sex with me. He’s been going through those his whole life, granted they happen with the change of the seasons, and Asgard’s seasons change every couple hundred years or so, but he wouldn’t even really let me touch him. He’s…he’s ashamed and scared…it’s been so long since he’s felt truly…”

“Beautiful?” she offered since that was the only word he seemed to be throwing around.

“Yeah,” he said with a slightly embarrassed sigh. “It’s not the perfect way to describe it, but yeah. He hasn’t felt beautiful or important in a very long time. Maybe that’s why he’s only ever been in one other serious relationship.”

“So what do you need?” she said with a sigh and rubbed at her temple.

“I need a Friday.”

“You know it won’t be that easy,”

“Yeah,” he nodded. “But I have to try.”

“You might have to play dirty, and I don’t mean sexual,” she added the last part with a stern look.

He nodded again, this time seriously and slowly. “I don’t want to…but if I have too…I know how.”

She ate some more of her cheese fries. “Okay…how can I get you a Friday?”

\-------------------------------------------------

“Alright,” Natasha called as she walked through the training room. “Listen up! We’ve got a situation and I need everyone out of the house on Friday.”

“What’s wrong?” Steve asked.

“A thing, I need us to go somewhere. So, Tony, do something nice with your girlfriend, Steve and I will take Bruce somewhere nice and keep him safe.”

“Wait, why do I have to be left out of the fun?” Stark demanded.

“Because S.H.I.E.L.D. didn’t attack you directly and I don’t want to spend my Friday night dealing with you,” she replied with a shrug. “I thought that was pretty obvious.”

“Why can’t we be here Friday?” Bruce asked curiously.

“I said so,”

He nodded, “that’s the only reason I need.”

“I need more than that,” Tony said stubbornly and went up to Romanoff. “Why can’t I be in my own house on Friday?”

“Because Clint and Loki are going to have obnoxiously loud sex and they can’t while we’re here, because _someone_ told Loki that they could hear it and it bothered them,” she sassed to him, even poking his chest piece a bit to help emphasis her authority and discreetly point out who she was referring to.

“I didn’t say it bothered me,” he said defensively with a superior tone that he knew drove Natasha crazy. “I said that if they did they needed to be mindful of others. Our rooms are closer than what they were at the tower and the last thing I needed to know is who – AHKAH!” he choked out as she easily pulled him into a headlock.

“Oh, I’m sorry, were you still talking?” she asked innocently.

“No,” he gasped and weakly pushed at her arm. “Nope, I was…I was finished.”

“Good,” she smiled and let him go. “So, Friday night, everyone needs to leave the mansion.”

The three men nodded, all intimidated by her tone and deviously promising smile. Come Friday, Tony and Pepper had plans to go to a charity event and Bruce, Steve, and Natasha went out to catch a movie. Fury and Phil promised to remain on their side of the house, both not needing any other explanation from the female assassin other than, “Friday night, lay low and keep to your side. Thanks!” They both knew better than to question an order from Natasha.

\-------------------------------------------------

“So…” Clint stretched before crawling up the bed to lie next to the god. “Everyone is out.”

“Finally,” Loki snorted turning a page in his book and set his finger against his temple as he continued to thoughtfully read.

Clint frowned and then leaned in to nuzzle at his neck. “We’re alone.” The god made no move to indicate he was paying attention. Barton gently bit at Loki’s throat and kissed up to his ear. “God of Mischief,” he cooed sliding his hand up the tunic and splayed his fingers over Loki’s chest.

“Hm?” the god wasn’t biting at his advancements. In fact, instead of moving into them he was shifting a bit away uncomfortably.

Clint pulled away and glared at Loki before snatching up the stupid book out of those slim fingers, he desperately wished would touch him, and straddled his hips.

“I was reading that,” he sighed turning his bored expression on Clint. His eyes betrayed him though. They spoke of his inner anxiety.

“You can read it later,” Barton said setting it on the side table and ran his hands down Loki’s chest. “We are completely alone. No one is in the mansion…” he leaned forward licking his lips slowly. “No one to _hear_ us…” he whispered shifting his hips to sit his rear snuggly over the god’s member.

That seemed to flip some sort of switch in Loki’s mind. His eyes lit up with a spark and his mouth slowly spread into a wicked smile.

“Uh…not your creepy ass evil grin…” Barton sat up a bit dejected.

“This is not my evil grin,” Loki ran his hands up the archer’s sides and chuckled in a shy yet darkly possessive way. “I prefer to think of it as my ‘I’m going to undress you slowly as I devour and worship your body into insanity’ smile.”

Clint shivered as the hairs on his scalp prickled at the idea. “Oh…” he breathed, his heart pounded faster. “I don’t mind it now.”

“No,” Loki laughed leaning forward to catch Barton’s chin in his hand, “You do not…not now…” he smiled and pulled the archer down to meet his lips in a short heated kiss. “How much time do we have?” he whispered.

Clint groaned. “Does it matter?”

Loki snorted unhappily at his reply but pulled him down for other heat searing lip-lock.

Clint slid his hands up the flaxen tunic, tracing swirling patterns along the god’s sides before breaking their kiss and moving down to taste. He mouthed his way around Loki’s marble-toned stomach, pursuing upward to tongue along his chest. He took a moment to press his lips to the centre of his chest and felt his rapidly beating heart. He looked up at him, sensing Loki’s discomfort. “Are you alright?”

The god nodded his head quickly and closed his eye as he swallowed nervously. “Yes.”

Clint sat up, “talk to me.”

Loki shook his head again. “It’s nothing.”

“It’s something.”

“It’s nothing.”

“Are we going to repeat our last sex conversation about how I want it rough and that you never took advantage of me, or are we doing a new subject?”

“It’s nothing.”

“Because,” Clint said moving to lean over the god; kissing along the exposed areas of his chest as he went, “I never had a problem with the way you possess me…and…” he kissed up his throat, “if I had the chance to go back…the only thing I’d change…is to make the date of our relationship start the second after you dropped to earth.” He traced his nose up Loki’s jaw.

The god couldn’t stop his body from violently shivering at the touch. He felt Clint pull away and he went with him. They whipped their shirts off and touched; Loki’s hesitant yet firm against the archer’s skin, Clint’s hot and protective. They kissed as they lay back upon the soft mattress, stroking the other’s upper body in slow playful motions.

They savoured one another: fingers dug into shoulders or sides; surprised sharp gasps whispered against heated ears; wicked tongues sought out bold adventures across the plains of the other’s sweat sleek skin; teeth yanked primal feverish noises out as they pushed each other’s senses towards bliss.

Clint rolled them so Loki was on top. The god took his long devilish fingers and dragged them down Clint’s lower back pulling him to arch up to him, like one of his beloved bows. Both exhaled as their hips rubbed together; the heat and friction sending shivers up their backs as the air around them began to grow heavy with the scent of need.

Loki leaned his forehead against Barton’s, caressing his face and throat. “You, my precious little Hawk, are one delicious creature,” he panted flicking a tongue to tease at Clint’s parted swollen lips.

“And you are stalling,” he commented playfully back and leaning up to nip at the god’s lower lip.

Loki flinched self-consciously and sat back on his knees.

“Don’t do this to me!” Clint nearly cried devastated. “If you don’t want to talk about it, fine, but let me feel what’s bothering you.”

“Nothing is bothering me,” he muttered growing upset.

“There is, whether you believe it or not. I know you’re holding something back and it’s not an orgasm.”

The raven-haired man snorted his displeasure at such a statement and made to move away from him. Barton scrambled to sit up and placed his hands on either side of his face, stopping him. “Hey, look at me.” Loki complied and Clint smiled before leaning in to sneak a few kisses along the god’s perfect nose. “Do you enjoy working me up and then leaving me hard and aching?”

“Perhaps,” Loki’s eyes flitted about, taking in the sight of Clint as he set his hands upon the archer’s hips and gripped them tightly. He wanted to be with him. Ever since they moved into the house and had that wonderful night out in the city, he had wanted to be more than physically intimate with Clint. When he had heard the archer utter those special words, his heart had been near millimetres away from bursting with an unusual sense of pride and shy accomplishment. He wanted to open up and let the archer in, but he was…scared. He was terrified beyond belief and the panic it brought only fed the darkness. Their talk the other day had done nothing but make things more complicated, and he felt stupid for even saying anything to start it. He should have known better and left well enough alone.

“I…” he stopped and looked away suddenly embarrassed and sad as all of the confidence he’d been trying to scrap together faded. _Sentimental_ …the darkness hissed. That is what he had become again…sentiment is what had lead him to that dark place to begin with. That dark place with those dark monsters…

“Ah…” Clint understood that feeling of shame Loki nested deep within his heart. “You’re not a monster,” he said softly turning the god’s face toward him for a quick kiss. “And even if you were, I’d still care for you just the same.”

“Even in my true form?” he spat defensively and instantly regretted it. It wasn’t Clint’s burden to bear and he had no business adding more problems for the archer to suffer with.

Barton felt all Loki was trying to hide though and smiled nuzzling their noses. “Even in your true form,” he promised.

Out of desire to know the truth or to simply shock the man into giving up, Loki dropped his Asgardian disguise without warning. He watched as Clint’s face turned from surprise to wonder and felt a hairline crack form inside of him. It wasn’t the response he’d anticipated. Yes, this shouldn’t have been a huge surprise, for Clint had seen this form a several times, but to be face to face with it and not have to talk him through the darkness attacking him…he thought it would at least have been…he didn’t know what he thought now.

“These markings,” Clint asked tracing his finger along one of the raised birth patterns on Loki’s arm, “what do they mean?”

“They indicate statues, abilities, and lineage.” He didn’t know how he knew that. He had never honestly spoken to another Jötunn about them, and all of the texts relating to Jötunn cultures were banned and locked away in the library. Even he had never mastered unlocking the spells that bound and protected them. The truth sank heavily into his stomach and made him sick. He knew because it was instinct. It was something biologically bred in him that clicked within his brain and helped him read and understand each line or swirl.

The archer nodded and shifted closer. Loki backed down a bit and sat on the bed, giving Clint the opportunity to sit in his lap. “Your skin’s colder in this form. Does me touching you hurt?”

“No,” Loki frowned grasping Barton’s hands to pull from his body and off to either side. “Are you truly not frightened of me? Even seeing me in such a hideous form?”

“The only thing hideous in this room, right now, is your self-esteem,” Clint countered raising his eye brow challengingly before swooping down for another stolen kiss.

Loki let go of his hands in shock. He felt his chest fill with a tingling warmth that took his breath away. He fisted Clint’s hair, drinking him in as the warmth filled and pushed at the crack, fracturing it within him. It began breaking the walls he had been so carefully building since his fall. Some of those walls, he realised, were made even before his fall…old walls etched with hatred and hurtful words. Walls stained with tears and aged from time. They all started giving way and relief flooded through him, wiping away the darkness around his core. The tickling warmth swept through every part of his body. It sang in his veins and made him feel dizzy, as though he had drank far too much of the rich elven wines his uncle favoured. Waves of goose pimples rolled along his body and pulled small shivers of delight out of him. It felt so indescribably wonderful he felt overcome and completely helpless in a way he never imagined could feel so good; so right.

He pulled away and rested his forehead against Clint’s, who couldn’t contain the large goofy smile that spread across his face. “What?” Loki asked and realised there were tears falling down his face. He touched them a bit surprised to find they were real.

Barton shook his head and his smile widened as he kissed and wiped them away. “Do you feel better now?”

“Perhaps…when I am sated,” he quipped, letting his voice seep into a lower register. The look the archer gave him made the warmth move to pool into his belly. It made his skin prickle with something close to gratification. He visibly shivered again.

The archer hummed and slid back to lie on the bed, pulling the god along with him. “Seems like we’re going to have to work on that...”

They laughed as they entwined themselves and began kissing with building passion.

“Hey!” Clint cried out as his lips landed on porcelain smooth flesh again. He pulled back from the shoulder he had been trying to woo over and glared at man above him.

“What?” Loki looked down at his shoulder and back at the archer curiously innocent.

“Your skin!”

The god’s face dropped in irritation. “What of it?”

“I wasn’t done with it.”

“Pardon?” Loki pushed himself up on his hands.

“I said,” Clint propped himself up on his right elbow and poked the god in the chest with his left index finger. “I wasn’t done with it. Bring it back!”

“Clint, not…” he sighed at a loss for words. “I…” he shook his head.

“No, what is it?” he prompted gently and ran a comforting hand along Loki’s arm.

“I…” he swallowed nervously, “I am still not fully comfortable with the fact that you do not find my true form repulsive. I feel…some sense of relief…but…” he shrugged. “It’s too new.”

He pouted. “But Loki…” he nuzzled the god’s pale throat.

“Clint…” he sighed; half pleading for him to stop yet desired him to continue.

“Please? For me?” he quietly begged planting small gentle kisses upon his Adam’s apple.

“Ugh, you overly tempting creature,” he shuttered dropping his head to rest on the archer’s forehead as the act sent a tidal wave of desire through him. “We have had sexual relations without it; there is no need for such a change.”

“You’ve never had sex in your true form, have you?” Clint pressed a little annoyed.

Loki let out an aggravated sigh and rolled off of the archer and onto his side facing away from him. “We are done.” He pulled the sheet up to his chin and curled into a ball. “Good night.”

“Oh, no you don’t!” Clint huffed pulling the sheet off the god. “We’ve just begun!” He jerked the stubborn immortal onto his back, straddling his lap and pinning his hands on either side of his head. “I can’t believe _you_ are being such a diva and ruining _our_ night. I worked hard to get everyone out of the mansion so _we_ could have proper time alone banging each other into the wall, because _you_ kept saying that we couldn’t because _people_ would _hear_!” He pressed his weight on Loki’s wrists and leaned forward, enjoying how Loki’s stunning green-blue eyes widened in shock as he uttered the words that were his last weapon: “You want to endeavour my forgiveness for ‘using’ me while I was under the Tesseract’s influence? Then let me fuck your gorgeous blue skinned body and when I’m done, we’re going to rest for a bit, and then I expect you to return the favour by roughly fucking the life out of me.” He nodded satisfied with his threat and then added, “And no holding back on either account!”

Loki gapped at him completely stunned. Clint could not be serious. Was it not already a terrible chore to be bound to a monster _and_ share a bed with him, but to desire him in his…? He trembled at the thought and closed his eyes, hoping to try and focus so as to still his pounding heart. The newness of Clint’s acceptance was so raw; a fresh wound forced to remain at the mercy of poking medical hands, stinging salves, and astringent liquids until it was deemed infection free. The archer could be a bother with his persistence, yet his determination and ceaseless patience was endearing.

Loki couldn’t deny that he hungered for this man above him. Hungered in a way he never knew possible. He opened his eyes and saw the crafty and pleased grin that spread over Clint’s face as his turquoise eyes bleed into bright crimson. Barton closed the distant between their lips and released his wrists to run his fingers through the black silky hair on Loki’s head. With the way the archer received this form Loki knew he would surly starve if he did not know the feeling of being taken and in turn possessing this glorious being with his Jötunn body. No matter how terrified he was now, no matter how ugly he felt, he had to sate this curiosity.

“Thank you,” Clint whispered as he kissed his way down the deep sapphire throat, making Loki sigh in response.

Clint ventured on, marking every inch of the cool skin with his mouth. He suckled on each of the dark cerulean nipples, drawing out small gasps and moans from the god, before moving along to nip further below.

Loki groaned and pressed himself into the bed as the archer’s searing tongue swirled around his navel, biting on the side of the hole and leisurely licked up the soft black trail of hair under it. Barton smiled and kissed his hip, loosening the strings of Loki’s pants before he yanked them off, and drank in the sight before him.

“Loki,” he soughed and buried his face into the shaking stomach, smoothing his hands along the birthmark lines running in smooth long waves along the god’s body. He slid them further down drawing the slender legs up around his waist. “I wish you could see yourself,” he mumbled moving lower to inhale his musky scent. “You are so…” he sighed and kissed Loki’s semi-hard erection.

He let out a throaty groan and threaded his fingers in Clint’s chocolate soft hair as a wave of heat crashed through him. Barton chuckled and began exploring the god’s body. He took his time, letting his fingers and lips touch every curve and dip the lines made. Loki shifted and shivered, covering his body and twisting this way and that at times; the greater part of him still rejected the idea of Clint willingly touching such a repulsive form, yet the accepting seed the archer had planted within him was starting to take root and grow.

After a time Clint began sucking and nipping at the god, his gentle curious exploration becoming more physical and possessive. He sucked and pinched his nipples, pulling on them with mouth and fingers until they were aching and hard. Loki moaned and moved against him, throwing his head back and shifting on the bed, his legs sliding along the sheets and sometimes against Clint’s. It only heightened his desires.

The archer smiled and held up his left hand. Loki kissed his fingers, imprinting the spell onto them and sealing it with a slow long lick. He gently nibbled the pads of Clint’s three fingers before letting his hand go.

Clint felt goose bumps creep along him as he settled between the god’s legs. They hadn’t really moved their hips together during Clint’s exploration and adoration of Loki’s body, yet the god was excited enough that his member was decently hard, with small drops of precum leaking from the top. Clint smiled as his mind finished working out the plan to make sure Loki was well prepared and thoroughly frustrated by the end of his preperation.

He pressed his lips to Loki’s member. The god inhaled and shivered, his hands flitting down to touch at Clint’s head and then away. He closed his eyes and held his breath as he felt the archer lick and gently nuzzle his face into his groin. He let out a small moan when a cool lubricated finger traced from his sac down to his hole.

Loki exhaled and shifted his legs impatiently as Clint took his time to gently ease a finger into him. Clint mouthed and pressed kisses down the god’s shaking thighs before dragging his tongue slowly along the birthlines, which curled up toward the outer part of his leg and around toward his backside. Loki swallowed back a moan and ran his fingers through his long hair as he shifted a bit. He felt the archer gently rub his thumb along the ring of muscles and he sighed a bit frustrated. Clint pushed in a second finger and worked him in a way that was still loving yet bordered on the rough side.

The god writhed and moaned beneath him as he alternated between one finger pushing in, twisting, and pulling out slowly, then two fingers moving in a few short well angled thrusts, and then back to the one; repeating that pattern until the god was shivering and shifting helplessly upon the sheets. Clint decided then to direct his oral attentions where they were needed most. He gently sucked along the god’s member, using his tongue to trace the veins as they became more prominent. He gently moved Loki’s foreskin down and swirled his tongue around his head.

“Ugh! Clint – please!” he whined arching off the bed and fisted the sheets.

“I love it when you beg,” the archer chuckled in a low tone.

The god huffed in frustration and was about to say something back, but was forced into a breathless moan as the archer added a third finger and started bobbing his head up and down his shaft.

Loki began shaking. The intensity of the actions being done upon him was far more than he had thought and, now realised, could handle. He felt so exposed and new – as though he were a virgin once more, and it brought his stomach to turn into fluttering nervous butterflies. He kept his eyes closed and tried not thinking about how Clint’s tan creamy skin looked sliding along his blue ugly tones. He tried focusing on how his eyes stared up at him in that heated knowing way. How his mouth looked as he took his length; his fingers disappearing into his hole; his pink tongue dragging across his body.

“Loki…” Clint whispered; his one hand holding the god’s member up as he let his hot breath ghost against it. His cheek was pressed to it, his mouth opened and watering, so ready to taste more. “Loki, look at me…” he begged.

He shook his head.

“Please…” he pouted prettily and pressed a small kiss to his shaft.

He let one eye crack open and then wished he hadn’t. Damn the nine did he look stunning! He moaned and turned his face up and away, his hand reaching toward the top of the mattress to grip and pull on uselessly as a sharp stab of desire ran through him.

Clint let out a satisfied chuckle and pulled his face and fingers away. Loki hurriedly turned onto his stomach, burying his face into the sheets so his doubts and fears wouldn’t be seen. Clint supressed a slightly disappointed sigh, for he wanted to see him, and checked Loki’s entrance with two fingers from each hand. The god made a small noise in his throat as Clint swirled them around and massaged the muscles, taking time to loosen him a bit more before pulling them away to slick his member down. He wiped his hands from most of the lubricant on the towel he had left on the bed earlier that morning and leaned back over the god, kissing his shoulder blades tenderly.

As he continued to kiss along Loki’s back, he aligned himself and gently pushed in. Loki’s body accepted him and both of them groaned in satisfaction as Clint eased himself forward and Loki moved back.

“Jesus Christ Loki!” he hissed and buried his face into his deep blue neck.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled into the sheets, completely ashamed.

“For what?” he groaned massaging his hips. “You feel…so…perfect,” he kiss his neck. Loki moaned and pushed back against him a bit more. Clint nuzzled the side of his face as he carefully started moving in and out of him. The god groaned and tilted his hips up as he lifted his head, pushing his knees and elbows into the mattress. He felt his hair fall around his face, trying not to shiver as it slid along his shoulders and down his back. Clint moved it to the side and kissed along his bare shoulder up his neck and to where Loki’s mouth was waiting for him.

As they kissed, he felt the archer grab a fistful of his hair and pull. He moaned and arched his body down, his nerves sizzled as his scalp pickled in a wanted slightly painful way. He shivered and waited to clench his muscles around Clint’s length. When he felt it slide deeper, he tensed to create a tighter passage and more sensation for them both. The archer groaned and pulled at Loki’s hair a little more, forcing his head to bend back to face the ceiling.

Clint bit at his throat and gently sucked on his usual spot before soothingly licking it. He groaned again and straightened, keeping one hand in Loki’s hair and one pushing at his lower back to help keep his hips angled just right.

Loki inhaled sharply, his eyes closing shut as he allowed the delicious feelings to unfold within him. The way his member glided in and out of Loki’s hole and against his core made the god flex his fingers into the bed and gasp. His mouth parted open and he squeezed his eyes tightly as his brows furrowed. He moved his hips back and felt their bodies press flush together. He moaned loudly at how wonderful it all was.

After several starting and agonisingly slow paced minutes, Clint began picking it up. He moved back and forth, thrusting with increasing speed and pressure into the god. Loki’s fingers curled into the sheets and he swallowed down a grateful groan. The sound of their skin slapping sent a shiver along his spine, which was quickly followed by another as the archer pushed roughly into him.

Clint let his hold of the god’s hair go so that he could hold his hips to help coordinate them better. His eyes kept flicking between watching the side of Loki’s face and the way their bodies met. He could feel the bond creep up around them and knew Loki was holding it back on purpose.

“Come on baby,” he said and pushed all of the way in a few times with long hard strokes. He leaned forward slowly and kissed in between Loki’s shoulder blades before pressing his lips to his ear, “let me feel you.”

Loki moaned and fell forward. He quickly pulled a pillow to him and buried his face in it. He was still terrified that Clint would change his mind, yet some part of him knew that if he’d only put his doubts aside and let them connect he’d know the truth. Yes Clint could say one thing and mean another, but with the link that their souls offered, and the way it acted during intercourse, the chances of him keep up such a lie would be incredibly hard. He wanted the truth, even if it was a repeat of what Clint had told him dozens of times already that evening and in the days past.

Loki groaned and shifted, letting one of his legs slide and stretch out along the bed, his other coming up to bend a bit more up near his body. Clint straightened and moved to accommodate, getting them both into a better version that would offer more friction and a deeper penetration with less strain on both of their bodies. He moved Loki to lie a bit to the side, and brought his bent leg to rest out near his side instead of directly under him, as it had been. He turned the god’s front a little toward him. Loki kept his face buried, but that didn’t hinder the position they were in. It hindered the connection and the mood, but Clint would work on that.

He held onto Loki’s bent thigh and rolled his hips as he moved with sensual care in and out of him, trying to seduce him into letting go and give him all of his trust. They had been doing so well with working on it and had come so close before the move. He wasn’t going to give up now. Clint moved to kneel on either side of Loki’s out stretched leg and snapped his hips forward once, landing a good hit on the god’s prostate.

Loki made a huffing grunting noise as one of his hands shot out to grip, with bruising strength, at the archer’s thigh. Clint rolled his hips again, slowly taking his time to build their pleasure step by step and then – bam! Loki gave a small cry and tensed.

“You know what I love about you?” Clint asked trying to find anything that he could use to hook Loki’s attention and trust with. The god shook his head quickly. “Your Asgardian form, I’ll admit is beautiful, and damn would you make a sexy Brit, but do you want to know what I love!” he grunted snapping his hips forward, “about your real form?”

“What?” he gasped whining a little in delight, yet dreaded the answer.

“How magnificently stunning and just…mind-blowingly gorgeous you are.” Loki made a doubtful noise but Clint shook his head. “No I’m serious, I think your Asgardian form is wonderful and I’ll take you in that, but if I have to choose – fuck please let me pick this one!” he groaned and this time gave two hard thrusts into the god.

Loki moaned with each and kneaded Clint’s thigh. “You’re only saying this…to make me feel better,” he exhaled through clinched teeth carefully.

“Please don’t try to tell me what I’m doing. I know it. I’m doing it,” he chuckled and leaned forward giving two hard thrusts again. Loki’s breath caught and he stretched and shifted a bit. He turned his face into the bed and offered his throat to the archer. “I love your skin colour. I love the way it smells; the way it feels; the way it tastes. I love how more real you feel. I love how natural and fluid you look –”

“Clint, please,” he begged, though he wasn’t sure why or for what he was trying to gain with his plea.

“Look at me,”

“Clint…”

“Look at me, Loki,” he gently requested and kissed his shoulder.

It took a few moments yet Loki eventually turned his face enough to let an eye peak out at him.

Clint’s smile brightened. “There we are beautiful,” he said and kissed Loki’s cheek before straightening. “Watch me?” Loki nodded. “Promise?” Loki nodded again. “Don’t stop, okay? No matter what, keep your eyes on my face.”

He let his eyes sweep over the god’s body and started picking up the pace. He moved his hands; one held the god’s thigh and the other moved to hold his side near his ribs. He widened his stance and angled his hips just so. Loki moaned and squeezed his eyes closed for a moment before remembering what the archer had requested of him. He quickly opened them and found Clint smiling down at him, his hair was dark and damp with sweat, his body glistening from it and damn did he look so… _fantastic_.

“You’re gorgeous,” he panted. Loki flinched yet searched his face. He let the bond open a bit and found he was speaking truth. “You’re _beautiful_ ,” he said enunciating the way the sounds of the letters dipped and rose. He went faster. “Your real form is breath-taking. Your Jötunn body is so…perfect,” he whispered the last word.

Loki felt his cheeks heat and his stomach flutter. He hid his face in his pillow for a few seconds, moaning all the while as his body was teased with waves of pleasure. When he felt brave enough to look at the archer, again he found him staring at him, the look on his face showed what he was really after – his response. Clint honestly wanted to see how his words and actions made him feel. He wanted to know if what he was doing was enough.

He let go and allowed the bond to connect. It was relief for a few seconds before they were both overcome. Loki’s self-hatred, shame, anxiety, and terrors swirled with Clint’s physical and sexual attractions and over-all adoration of the god.

In this state of being it was much harder for Loki to argue with himself on whether or not Clint’s opinion was truth, along with all of his many other insecurities. He felt them all melt away as the warmth from when they were kissing before doubled and ran wild within him. He watched the archer still, yet now his hesitation was dwindling. The power and drive he felt in his flesh-coloured form was starting to take root within this one and he wanted more. Needed it.

Instead of pushing his hand against Clint’s thigh, he pulled at it. He rocked back against him and threw his head back letting the noises of his enjoyment spill from his mouth easily. It was almost perfect. It was a good angle, it was deep the way he desired, and Clint wasn’t holding back, but there was something missing. He knew what that something was and if he had thought of it earlier that day, or even five minutes ago, he’d have turned and ran away from the idea faster than he fell from the Bifrost.

Loki pushed at Clint, struggling with his words, yet the bond helped convey his desires. The archer stopped and pulled out, watching in stunned awe as the god rolled flat on his back and lifted his legs. He spread his cheeks and arched a bit off the bed so invitingly that Clint didn’t even pause to properly admire him the way he wished. He was right on him again, pushing in gently yet fucking him roughly when Loki pulled at his hips. He pushed the heels of his feet into Barton’s backside to help propel him deeper; bring him nearer.

He needed him closer. The feel of his weight; the smell of his arousal; his sweat; the cries spilling from his mouth; his body rocking into him without mercy; his below writhing in satisfaction and delight; his moans and grunts; his fingers digging into his skin; nails scratching, leaving bruises; teeth claiming, tongues tasting and soothing; his member moving in and out; the tight soft heat; the feeling of being filled. He was so close.

So close and all it took were several more well aimed hard thrusts and he felt himself fall apart. Loki tumbled down into a well of bliss to drown in his orgasm while Clint landed on his own climax-bomb. The god let out a loud cry and arched off the bed; everything within him tensing but his pelvic muscles, which pulsed as his member shot off between their bodies. He felt his seed hit his chest and chin and he moaned, running his fingers through his hair as his mind completely fried out. Clint let out a shout and threw his weight into a few more thrusts as he came. He buried himself within Loki and stilled; the only sound he was aware of was his heart pounding loudly within his ears and the distant soft endless moans Loki was making.

After several long minutes Clint moved, pulling and pushing in and out a tiny bit to completely empty himself before he let his body relax and felt the blood rush from his loins to other parts. He leaned and rolled off to the side with sigh of content. Loki shivered violently and pulled his legs close to his body as he turned to his side toward the archer. Barton gathered the god up into his arms and held him, running his fingers over his arm and side a bit as their breathing and hearts returned to normal.

“I…I heard that…” the archer said after a time.

It took several long seconds before Loki realised he had been spoken too. “Hm?” he asked and closed his eyes, well and truly sated.

“Right before you came…I heard what you said.”

Loki furrowed his brows; he had said something? He was sure he hadn’t for they had been of one mind, yet he knew that through the bond they were still separate in a way neither could explain. He knew Clint had said something to him as well. He focused his thoughts and recalled the situation. Clint had been mumbling encouraging words to help get Loki along and across the finish line.

_“Yes! Come on, Loki! Yes, please come for me.”_

_“Fu-AH-ck!” he hissed breathless. “Ah! Yes!”_

_“Yes.”_

_“Yes! Please! Uh, Clinton!” he begged before he reached his peek. His breaths shorted to quarter-sized rapid high-pitched gasps before he whispered, “I love you,” inhaled quickly, held his breath for a second, and came with a loud long cry._

Loki’s eyes snapped opened and he stared off for several seconds before he turned his head to look up at Clint. He hadn’t noticed they had moved again, and now found his head upon the archer’s chest. One of his legs was thrown over his waist and the feel of cum and lubricant tickled as it sluggishly slipped from his body and along his skin. It made him shiver and he didn’t stop it from showing.

The intensity of Clint’s loving stare made his face heat up again. He shyly looked down at the archer’s chest and worried his bottom lip.

“Hey, it’s okay if you’re not ready to say it…” he reassured.

“No…I…I am,” he frowned, only realising then what he was honestly feeling inside. “I…” he began and then quickly looked into Clint’s beautiful eyes, “I love you, Clint Barton, with all of my heart.”

Clint didn’t smile as Loki thought he would, instead he leaned in and kissed him; his fingers playing on his jaw and neck as they sealed their mutually declared feelings. When they parted, Clint fought hard to not show how disappointed he was in finding Loki’s skin back to pale white. The god didn’t miss the minute details though, and looked down a bit ashamed for it. Clint reassuringly kissed his forehead and moved to bring them closer together.

“Does this form now displease you so?”

“No,” he said honestly. “I’d love you even if you were bright green with red and orange polka-dots.”

“Well,” Loki said stretching a bit. “I suppose I should inform you now…”

They laughed at his tiny joke. It was a big step and Clint noted it. Loki shifted against the archer and then moved his face to look up at him. His body shivered at the feel of Clint’s fingers tracing slowly up and down his arm in an intimate comforting way. Clint sighed in a gentle manner that suggested satisfaction.

“Are you pleased?”

“As in ‘am I sexually satisfied’?”

“As in ‘are you content? What may I do to help ensure you are comfortable’?”

“Stay perfect, just the way you already are,” he smiled using his other hand to touch Loki’s chin gently. He wiped off the semen that was there and licked it off of his finger.

The god felt heat rush to his face again and he burned it into Clint’s chest. The archer chuckled. Loki hit his chest a bit.

“Oh I wish you could see yourself now,”

“Do not mock me,”

“I am not, I’m admiring you.”

Loki looked at him a little stunned.

“What?” Clint asked and brushed Loki’s hair back behind his ear.

He shook his head and swallowed. “I’m…I’m just…you surprise me.”

“Yeah I can be honest every once in a while,” he smirked.

“No,” Loki relaxed a little and smiled. “I…why do you say such things?”

“What things?”

“About me?”

“Like how intense your eyes are? Two gorgeous precious stones…either a perfect sky or two liquid fiery rubies…or your lips?” he traced them with a finger, “petal soft…dusty rose in this form and Ultramarine…a blue so lovely…it reminds me of deep waters…”

Loki shivered and watched him. His mouth parted a bit as Barton’s neared and he tried to keep his heart from beating out of his chest. The archer kissed him, so sweetly and so gently Loki felt as though he were floating on clouds.

“I wish I could see what you see…” he sighed softly when they separated.

“You will,” he promised and took the god’s hand to bring up and press kisses to.

“And you call me a romantic,” he smiled a little as he watched him.

Clint hummed in agreement and kissed down the side of Loki’s thumb to his wrist. “You are.”

“I think not. You have taken me to feast on succulent foods; venturing around a city full of wonder; gazed at the skies in silent awe; patiently endured and suffered through my ever changing moods; and uttered poetry after giving me pleasures I never imagined possible,”

“Says the one who has such elegant descriptions of small deeds,” he smirked and kissed Loki’s palm.

“I use words for purpose…and your actions have shown so much…” He looked him over and then smiled. He was still a little confused over why he found it so painfully sad to realise what Clint meant to him. “You have wooed me to the core…” he whispered.

Clint hummed and kissed along his arm slowly. They shifted together to help keep his pattern smooth and uninterrupted. He kissed up and around Loki’s shoulder and then down, moving his body further down the bed as he kissed and licked Loki’s chest and stomach clean.

The god shivered and put his hands on the archer’s face, tilting it to look up at him just as he dragged his tongue along his skin.

“I wish you could have seen it,” Clint whispered softly and let his lips brush sensually around Loki’s lower belly.

“Seen what?” he breathed.

He smirked wickedly. “Your O-face.”

“My what?” he frowned confused.

“Your orgasm face,”

Loki still did not clearly understand what he meant. “You have seen me do such before.”

“But this was the first time I’d ever seen you make that face in the bottom role.”

“Was it worth the wait?” he asked and brushed Clint’s bangs back from his damp forehead.

“Yes,” he whispered in such a low tone that it made a chill crawl up Loki’s spine. He shivered and closed his eyes as he felt Clint press his lips to his stomach for a few seconds. The archer kissed his way back up the god’s torso and neck. Loki held him close and pulled him to lay on top of him.

Clint moaned and straddled his waist. “Your turn,” he said and began kissing him.

The god sighed and ran his hands along Clint’s sides and back. “Must I change?”

“Please,” he begged gently.

The god nodded, still not fully comfortable with having to be in a form he was raised to fear and consider ugly, yet one look in Clint’s eyes – the excitement, the wonder, the love – it made it easier to endure.

Clint sat up and ran hands down Loki’s chest, letting his fingers drag along his cerulean skin slowly, watching as they bumped up and down his birthlines. Loki arched a bit and gripped Clint’s sides. He looked down and found his black nails, which were slightly longer than his Asgardian ones, and it made his skin crawl. He closed his eyes and pulled his hands away. Clint quickly caught them, pulling at the god’s unyielding hands, and forced him to set them upon his chest. He fanned out Loki’s fingers and began moving his hips against Loki’s.

He squeezed his eyes shut and tried pulling his hands back. “Please Clint –”

“Yes, Loki?” he said and dragged Loki’s hands down his chest slowly.

The god could feel the heat from his body; he could feel new sweat already forming upon him and the softness of his skin. He could feel all of his scars. It forced him to open his eyes. He took a few moments to study him; to really look at him and see his body.

There were scares all over him. Long ones, short ones, discoloured, pale, shiny, solid, broken up, rough, and smooth. Clint walked around carrying such marks every day. He never shied away from Loki whenever he touched them, never covered them in embarrassment, never talked down and called them ugly or shamed himself for having them. He accepted them for what they were, a part of him. His history. His body.

“Like what you see?” Clint asked and bit his tongue as he smiled down at him

Loki pulled Clint down and kissed him. He kissed him with all of his gratitude, with his passion, and with his need.

Clint was taken aback by it, so much so that he hadn’t even noticed right away that they had rolled over. He let his hands fall to either side of his head as Loki continued to kiss him. He felt the god drag his nails along his sides gently and it made him moan and shiver. The god kissed along his jaw and then surprised Clint by kissing his scars. He hadn’t expected it. He hadn’t expected his reaction at all and it thrilled him deeply.

Loki lavished his body the same way Clint had lavished his; with adoration, care, and wonder. He took his time worshiping him. He savoured the taste and feel of Clint’s skin, watching as he made the archer moan and shift against the bed. He marvelled at each wave of goose bumps as they appeared and vanished with each intimate touch. Was this what it was like to be Clint as he watched him earlier? This pleasure on his face, the way his body moved under him, the sighs, the sight of his neck stretching out as he swallowed and moaned…it was…

“Gorgeous…” he whispered and pressed several more appreciative kisses upon Clint’s torso. Barton moaned and ran his fingers through his hair as he arched off the mattress a little. Loki’s hands gripped his hips and pressed them down into the mattress before he bent his head and started licking his manhood with firm long strokes.

Clint swallowed and let his legs bend and unbend to help him ride the rising tide of pleasure. Loki used his tongue to manoeuvre Barton’s length into his mouth and he began bobbing his head up and down, sucking as he swallowed him down and swirling his tongue teasingly along his head as he pulled back up. Clint moaned and tried moving his hips despite the god’s bruising grip. He hoped if he struggled hard enough there would be bruises he could glance at in victory later.

Loki felt his thought and dug his fingers into his flesh a little more. Clint whimpered and lifted his chin as he brought his legs up to drape around the god’s shoulder’s. Loki’s hands shot out and he smoothed them up his thighs, causing them to shake as he let go of Clint’s member and pressed loving kisses along his soft inner skin.

Clint tried moving them away when the god got too close to his knees, yet Loki held them in place and flicked his tongue to taste the salty soft under skin. Barton cried out and set his hands upon Loki’s head, pulling his long hair to the side and tangling his fingers in the silky wavy locks. Loki hummed as his scalp prickled and sent a chilling sensation along his body. He sucked and nipped at the back of Barton’s one knee, earning him more noises of delight until Clint was demandingly yanking him away by his hair.

He gazed up at him and Clint stared back; panting, sweaty, and more aroused than Loki had honestly ever seen him. The god set his legs back down onto the bed and slid his hands along Clint’s thighs, leaning forward to take his semi hard-on back into his mouth.

He moaned and redoubled his efforts from before. He made sure he relaxed his jaw and bobbed his head faster; and when he swallowed him down, he pressed his face into Clint’s pelvic bone and waited a few seconds before lifting his head to let Clint’s length slide out of his mouth with a pop. Loki quickly dropped his head back down and dragged his tongue up it with slow tantalising licks. He repeated the act over and over until Clint was shaking and swearing weakly under him.

Loki decided to give him a break then, only gently pressed kisses along his length. Barton inhaled sharply and arched a bit.

“Stop,” he begged breathless. I’m going to…uh!” he tensed up and squeezed his eyes shut as he forced the urge to release down.

Loki crawled on top of him, wrapped him in his arms and began sweetly kissing him. Clint pulled him closer and then combed his fingers into the god’s hair. He kissed him as though his life depended upon it and it made Loki’s body tingle. He kept a good hold upon Clint and began rolling his hips against his.

Clint inhaled and let out an opened mouth moan; Loki sucked on his lower lip and increased his downward pressure. The archer made another noise that pleased Loki. He decided to reward him. Loki twisted his fingers to activate his magic. It trickled down Clint’s side, unnoticed by the mortal, and spiralled around his entrance. The spell began massaging and opening the archer gently.

It took a little bit, yet once it delved deeper Clint noticed its presence then and threw his head back with a gasp. Loki pressed kisses to his chin and continued to hold him as his magic worked diligently and with loving ease. It cut the time of normal preparation in half and ensured that the archer would be sensitive in the right ways and enjoy himself more.

That was Loki’s goal, to drive Clint wild with passion, and from the way his eyes were rolling into the back of his head, Loki knew his spell was working well and almost complete.

Clint gasped and lifted his hips up as the cool invisible fingers rubbed gently against his prostate. He choked on his words and whimpered pathetically as he felt his control slip. Goose bumps appeared on his skin and his breathing became erratic. Loki sensed his change and set the spell’s rhythm to fast and hard, as though he were fingering him roughly. He kept his hands lovingly upon him and continued to kiss him, holding back his end of the connection.

Clint cried out and tensed, wrapping his limbs around the god, pulling at his hair as he let his orgasm throw him over the edge. He gasped as though he’d been drowning and moaned until they faded into tiny humming breaths. His body began to shake a bit and Loki took care to make his motions gentle as he smoothed his hands down Clint’s arms and legs, coaxing him to relax back into the bed and bask in the sensation of release.

Clint lay limp, the weight of Loki’s body the only thing keeping him grounded as he drifted between worlds, time, space, and colours. He felt the god press his lips along his collarbone and he sighed a little.

_Do I have your permission to pleasure your body?_ Loki asked.

Clint’s lips twitched upward a bit. _Always._

Loki smoothed his hands down Clint and gathered up his legs. The archer used the bare minimum of muscle power to keep them up and hummed in need and satisfaction as Loki’s fingers touched his hole. He felt him check to see if he was stretched enough and then position himself. He slid in easily and both of them exhaled gratefully.

The god moved with great care and little by little easing more and more of himself in until Clint was rocking back against him moaning. He set his hands on either side of Clint’s head and began snapping his hips forward quickly. Barton threw his head back with a cry and moaned as he pulled his legs up closer to his chest.

It felt so good. So right. It made Clint’s body tingle and his toes curl up. Every few thrust brought heat to spike sharply through him and twist inside his loins. He moaned, running a hand whenever he could down Loki’s front. The god rolled his hips and gasped, swallowing and fighting hard not to lose himself to his own personal needs. He wanted to see Clint. Needed to see how just a shift of his hips made him whimper; how his eyes rolled into the back of his head; how he shook and sweated; how each forward motion earned a loud groan and every pull back stole his breath away.

Clint let go of his legs in favour of touching Loki. He loved the feel of his skin. He loved the electricity that seemed to zap with every inch of their bare touch. He wrapped his legs around Loki’s lower half and arched up into him, his fingers skipping along the bands and lines that proudly stood on the god’s shoulders and arms. Loki turned his hands to cradle Clint’s face and the archer slid his hands down his arms, bending his own and pointing his elbows toward the ceiling to allow them to lace their fingers together.

The bond joined and they felt the power of the encounter. They began moving faster; both panting and moaning as each thrust brought pleasure to creep into very part of their being. They were beautiful. They knew it. Each of them were so gorgeous to the other; the very thought of any other notion made them sick. Their kisses were sweetly passionate; each touch was jolting yet gentle; their eyes were hungry; their noises delicious to both pallet and ear; and even the smallest puff of breath upon their person brought goose pimples parading over them.

The taste of their skin was savoury and the feel of teeth sent a thrill down their spine. There was the prickling sensation of hair being pulled; of nails scraping lightly; of shocked gasps; of muscles tightening and relaxing; of love.

He moved faster. He loved his body. He loved the colour of his skin. He loved the way it felt, the way it tasted, the heat from it, the smell. He was completely bewitched and desired to spend the rest of his life worshiping it as well as the amazing being he was currently merged with.

There was a jolt of ultimate pleasure. He thrusted harder. He moaned louder. He kissed every inch of him he could. He begged. He grunted. He growled in frustration at being so close yet not being there. He kissed him. He lost himself to soft whimpering moans and gasps. He felt everything pull downward. Everything tightened in them. There was a moment of stillness; of nothing. Then bliss burst through them.

Clint cried out and clung to Loki as he weakly, yet still intensely, came; his head pressing into the mattress as he arched and gasped, fingers digging into Loki’s shoulders; toes cramping from how tightly they were curled, and nothing but relief and overwhelming satisfaction radiating through him.

“Fuck!” Loki sputtered and gave a few more thrusts into Clint before he stilled and let himself empty. Clint swallowed a moan, his hands brushing Loki’s hair back before pulling him down to kiss.

The god groaned and flattened himself to Clint, his one hand still supporting his body, the other moving to slide along the archer’s inner thigh up and around to his rear. He growled and squeezed his supple flesh, pushing himself into him as deep as he could go. Clint moaned pathetically and bit at Loki’s bottom lip. He tugged on it a little as Loki lifted his head away and the god inhaled sharply.

His eyes fluttered opened and found Barton’s sleepy sated face smiling at him.

“Hey…” he whispered and brushed a thumb over his cheek.

Loki kissed him again. “Thank you…” he whispered as they broke apart.

Clint ran his hands down the god’s back and shifted, settling his legs in a more comfortable position that still helped hold Loki close to him. “Anything for you,” he promised.

Loki’s brows delicately furrowed. “You really do love me in this form,” he whispered amazed and shook his head when he felt Clint’s adoration echo within him. “You never cease to astound me.”

Clint brushed some of his hair back and kissed him. It was meant to be simple, just a small reassurance, yet Loki went all out. It made all of the hairs stand up on the archer’s body and he shivered as all of the god’s gratitude and the words he found so hard to speak aloud were conveyed in that passionate and loving act.

When they parted, Clint licked his lips and kept his eyes closed to savour it all.

“Will you not open your eyes?” Loki asked.

“In time,” he replied and grinned. “I’m trying to remember every moment.”

“I thought you feared my transformation…” he confessed a little guilty.

Clint shook his head. “I’ll love you regardless of what colour you are. You know this.”

“Yet you’d prefer this form,”

“Honestly I prefer you to take whatever form is most comfortable to you,”

Loki waited until he opened his eyes and then changed back slowly. Clint’s face remained the way it was, yet he swore he saw the archer’s eyes dim the tiniest bit. Clint reassuringly kissed him.

“Are you sure you are not displeased?”

“Never,” he promised. “My goal for tonight was fulfilled. I wanted you to know that I care for you, no matter what, and try to show you that, regardless of what Asgard thinks, blue is incredibly sexy,” he smirked at the last part and ran his hands down Loki’s back.

The god shivered. “Are you certain?”

“Oh yes,” he whispered and kissed his shoulder with a hum of content. “Very.”

Loki felt heat rush to his face and he buried it in Clint’s shoulder. “Would you prefer if I returned back?”

“Only if you want too,”

“You were so insistent earlier,” he muttered.

“Well earlier you wouldn’t even give it a chance. I kind of had to be.”

Loki chuckled lightly. He thought about his answer for a few minutes and then timidly confessed, “I do not wish to. Perhaps…if I feel up to again I shall consider it for next time.”

“Sounds fair enough to me,” Clint agreed.

Loki lifted himself up on slightly shaky arms. He ran a hand through his hair to flip it back and then carefully rolled to the side. Clint shivered and moaned softly as he closed his legs and turned to face him.

Loki brushed his knuckles down his cheek. “I was not too rough with you, was I?”

“No,” he sighed situating himself. “If anything, you could have been a little rougher.”

“Do not tempt me with such an offer,” he chuckled and sat up, drawing his knees close to his body so that he could rest his arms upon them.

“Something wrong?” Clint asked, letting his hand brush against Loki’s side.

“A little more than a year ago…” he whispered staring down at his slightly lifted left arm, “I watched as my skin turned a shocking blue, right before my eyes.” He swallowed and let it replay over his skin the way it had on that miserable life-shattering day. “It was supposed to have turned black with frostbite, yet…” he swallowed again and dropped his arm looking away. “My entire life I was raised to fear and hate the one thing I found I had become. What I had always been…I was so consumed with the terror of everyone finding out and rejecting me that I…I did stupid and horrible things,” he dropped his head and held it in his hands. “I became the monster I ran away from in nightmares as a child. I could feel a layer of magic over my true form I had never noticed before. At first, I was furious with Odin, for I thought his magic was what held me in this state, yet I discovered it was my own pointless abilities. That, as a small shivering babe, I changed to match what I saw in him when he discovered me. I always thought it odd that my natural hair colour was black. It is not uncommon for such a colour among Asgardians, but Odin once had a form of blonde hair; Thor has blonde hair; mother has blonde hair; her father long ago had blonde hair; her brother; Baldur has it, and…”

He stopped and swallowed before shaking his head a little. “I thought I had inherited it from Odin’s mother. I even thought for a few moments that I had been cursed to take on the Jötunn form from her…when I confronted Odin he told me the truth…I…I was so ashamed. I was embarrassed. I felt guilty and suddenly everything he had done to me, every moment he yelled at me, beat me, banished, cursed, and shunned me suddenly came to me and I could not think of anything more. I was haunted…I…I couldn’t live with myself and sought to end it all. I’ve made some horridly poor life choices; some bad ones that ended with great things, such as my children, yet what I did…I destroyed an entire realm to try and appease that selfish lying bastard,” he spat the words out, his whole body shaking. He dropped a hand and turned his face to look toward the window. He picked at his lip as he thought about it all. “And he told me ‘no’. I would have done anything for him; anything to make him love me, even if it was a lie. I only wanted one moment that felt real…one hug, one kind word, just something that felt…when Frigga hugged me, there was never a doubt in my mind that she is and always will be my mother. When I hug my children, I want them to know that I am there father or mother and that I love them. I am real. I am there protector. I am their blood and life-giver. I wanted that from him…and he told me ‘no’,” he whispered and sighed heavily.

Loki looked down at Clint, who had the back of his hand comfortingly against his side. He ruefully laughed and wiped tears away before they could fall. “I was foolish and naïve.”

“It is not foolish or naïve to wish for a parents love,” Clint said softly. “My dad was a real dick too. I – I get what and why you did what you did. I understand that feeling. Hell, the only time my dad held me was under the water in a lake. My mother had a hell of a time getting me out. She nearly bit his jugular out while my aunt stood around calling the cops and bitched about how her perfect beach day was ruined.” He licked his lips and used his arm to help prop himself up in an easy reclined position. “But just because he doesn’t love you, doesn’t mean others don’t. It took me years to realise that I never needed my dad’s affection or approval to be a good or even attractive human being. Remember pe–”

“‘People who don’t matter can fuck off,’” Loki recited with a slow nod of his head and sniffed. “Yes, you’ve said it enough, I…” he wiped his mouth and cleared his throat. “I fear sometimes I’ve become that to my children…especially with my falling. What I put them through thinking I was gone. That there was nothing left to perform a burial service for. How people treated them without my reputation or shadow of tricks to follow them protectively…”

“I’m sure they’re fine. I bet your mother and Thor protected them.”

“They must hate me,”

“They might,” he shrugged and took one of Loki’s hands. “But they’ll forgive you.”

“Would you forgive me if you were they?”

“Yes, because you care and that’s all a child wants. Is to be loved and to know that someone cares about them.”

Loki played with Clint’s fingers as he thought things over. He lay down after a time and then pressed his lips to Clint’s fingertips. “I hope they will find it in their hearts to forgive me. It may take time…and I will do whatever I can to help them heal. Just as you do whatever you can now for me.” He looked into his eyes and held Clint’s hand to his heart. “I hope that if there is anything I may do for you…you’ll let me know so that I may return the favour in kind?”

Clint brushed a few strands of hair from Loki’s face and let his fingertips trace along his jaw. “You are. You have been from the very start…you just haven’t noticed.”

“Well help me, please?” he begged and kissed Clint’s palm. “I wish to share in your journey just as you share in mine.”

Clint was silent for a time before he moved a little closer to Loki. “I never snuggled up or cuddled with anyone I was with before I met you. Hell, I never even slept in the same bed after having sex.”

“Does this mean you never asked for the weight of another upon you after intercourse?” Loki frowned a bit shocked upon hearing such a confession.

“Yeah, you’re the first in a very long time. When…” he licked his lips and looked down ashamed over bringing it up during such an intimate moment, “When I was in the circus…they used to pass out on me. I hated it. I nearly suffocated once. When I started working freelance as a petty thief, I slept around to make money or secure a place to hide out. I felt cheap so I’d leave as fast as possible to prevent any unnecessary conversation and to forget it ever happened. I spent many years running around doing stupid shit…and then I did it. I did it once just because I was kind of attracted to the girl. I did it because she was from a good part of the neighbourhood and she would often bring me food in the small flat I was squatting in. It was the first time I did it without an exchange of some sort. I did it because of a desire of my own. That was when I went underground and eventually found S.H.I.E.L.D. Or more like, they found me, stealing from one of their most secure vaults. I was only caught because Coulson happened to spontaneously visit the part of the building I was plundering. He laughed and started cracking jokes with me. No one else knew I was there until he brought me to the front desk to ask for a visitor’s pass. They paid me seven times what the Chinese promised. I was loaded for the rest of my life. I could have bought a little island and shut the world out, but Phil kept offered me a job and Fury consented. I was given one of the highest clearances without even getting a full background check.”

Clint felt something from Loki and put an arm around him. “What?” he asked.

“Nothing,” the god said.

“You want to ask something, ask it. It’s fine.”

Loki bit his lip. “You never, lay like this afterward with Bobbi?”

He shook his head. “Nope. Drove her crazy. She would follow me out into the living room and try to snuggle with me on the couch. So I used to bolt with a fake mission assignment. She figured it out so I just drugged her.”

“Clinton!” he gasped appalled.

“It was harmless,” he rolled his eyes with a ‘duh’ face. “She never even knew. I did it before we had sex. She gets really bad bladder infections so I’d make her drink spiked cranberry juice. By the time she was done screaming in my ear and tearing at my hair and back in loud fake rapture, I’d just have to suffer a few minutes snuggling before she’d pass out. Sometimes if I prolonged foreplay she’d get sluggish and pass out right after her orgasm.”

“Clinton that is horrible!”

“That’s survival! And a regular relationship at S.H.I.E.L.D.. I can’t tell you how many times Natasha called me up because some rookie over drugged or had to kill a fling because they let slip the whole ‘super-secret spy’ card. We’ve burned and chemically incinerated many bodies. Even of the rookies. Some people crack after their first kill. Never try to impress someone with the ‘I’m a super-secret spy’ card,” he warned.

Loki rolled his eyes at the tone and the sighing quality in Clint’s voice at the earlier part of that statement. “That is still awful.”

“I think you misunderstand Bobbi. Have I mentioned she’s crazy?”

“You might have,” he chuckled. “What makes me so special?”

“Well the Tesseract,” Clint shrugged.

Loki flinched. “What of it?”

“I was under your control. I mean I had some control of my own, but afterward you never ordered me out. I never…I never wanted to leave your side. I was told by the cube to protect you with my life and serve you unconditionally, and I found that even though I resisted against all of the other commands as much as possible…it killed me when you left me behind. I hated knowing you were somewhere I could not be. Somewhere without my skills to serve you. I hated the thought that someone would have to make your bed, scavenge food for you, care for your needs…the idea that someone else would be performing all of the intimate acts that I had, it made me so…” he inhaled, the anger he’d felt then started to resurface once more. “I wanted to kill everyone to get back to you…and then I was knocked in the head…the Tesseract’s hold cleared away yet I still wanted to get back to you. I thought it was remnants of the mind control…but it wasn’t.” He pulled Loki flush against him and pressed their foreheads together. “I’d kneel before you any day.”

“Any?” he asked wickedly.

They laughed, yet Clint nodded and looked at him seriously. “Yes. I would.”

“Hmmm,” he said trying to hide a shyly pleased smile. “We shall have to test that tomorrow.”

“I’m _so_ game.”

“So what?” he asked confused.

“It’s slang,” he said snuggling up to the god and making himself comfortable and ready for bed. “It means I’m down with it.”

“You’re what with it?” Loki asked looking down at his head as he rested it upon his chest.

“I’m getting you a slang dictionary,” he laughed. “Now kiss me goodnight and hold me close,” he lightly demanded lifting his head enough for the god to comply with his requests.

Loki obliged him with a kiss. “Goodnight,” he whispered.

“Goodnight,” he sighed contently.

Loki waved a hand and their covers gently came to settle over them. “Clinton,” he said after a while of silence.

“Hm?” he hummed.

“You would never drug me…would you?” he bit his lip worriedly.

“Not unless you were sick. Then I’d do it to help you get better,”

“You promise?”

Clint lifted his head to look at the god. “Of course; why, what’s wrong?”

Loki shook his head and pulled him back down to the way he had been laying before. “Nothing. I was only curious.”

“No, Loki, I wouldn’t do anything to hurt you. I promise.”

Loki traced his fingers along the back of Clint’s neck for a few minutes. “And I vow the same for you.”

\-------------------------------------------------

“So…” Natasha asked as she leaned against the other door frame a little further in from the one Loki was leaning against.

It was morning and after he and Clint had passionately made out and teased each other with hands and mouths to climax, they had ventured down for a delicious and well deserved breakfast. Now he was watching as Steve and Clint sparred in the backyard. At the sound of Natasha’s voice, he turned his face to look back at her from over his shoulder. “Did you two work things out?” she asked in a detached polite tone that cleverly hid her real concern.

“Yes,” he nodded and returned to looking forward, watching as Steve flipped Clint over his shoulder and into the dirt. “I think we have come to…a better understanding of things.”

“He loves you,” she said carefully.

Loki nodded and took a sip of his quickly cooling tea. “I know.”

“He doesn’t say it unless he means it,” she added as she turned to leave him be. “I figured you probably knew that already, but just in case you didn’t or if you needed a reminder.”

“I love him,” he said aloud and looked back at her. It made her freeze in her tracks. It took several seconds for her to turn around and look at him. Loki watched at her. His mouth twitched into a tired, yet contemplative smile. “I love Clint,” he repeated again, and realised how much the confession brought joy and warmth into him. It was almost like a breath of relief. “A great deal,” he added looked away slightly embarrassed. “I never realised how much until last night. I read in a book, while I was imprisoned at the underground S.H.I.E.L.D. facility, that ‘some people put walls up, not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to knock them down’,” he swallowed and looked down at his tea in his pale hands.

“Socrates was a very wise and highly underappreciated man,” Natasha agreed.

“Is it the same for you?” he asked, even though he knew it was really none of his business to inquire. “With Steven, I mean. Does the fact that he cares enough to knock your walls down make you…fell more for him? Does it make letting him in easier?”

“I suppose,” she shrugged. “Although I imagine his breaking down of my ‘walls’ is a lot less violent than Clint’s method.”

“I’m sure,” he chuckled. “Though I think Clint’s method involves scaling the walls and toppling them from within.”

She smirked, “yeah that sounds like his way.”

They stood in silence for several minutes. The sounds of birds twittering and Clint’s grunts and roars of frustration as he was knocked, thrown, and landed time and time again down on the ground were all that filled the space around them.

“Do you love Rogers?” Loki asked.

Natasha thought about how to answer that for a bit. “I’m not sure,” she said honestly. “I feel something for him. I certainly care for him…however…” she shrugged and kept those feelings from fully surfacing. “No one knows what the future holds.”

“No,” he sighed and drank his tea. “And it wouldn’t make it any easier if we did.”

“‘What I do not know I do not think I know’,” she said as she turned to head back to her kitchen cleaning duties. Loki smirked and looked up to find Clint looking at him. He had his hands on his knees and he looked tired, yet his smile was bright and filled with such love and happiness. It made Loki’s heart flutter. He wanted to return the gesture, yet knew there was no way he could have shown how he felt through a simple smile. He looked around the small hall he was standing in and then around at the outside. They were alone except for Steve, who currently had his back turned to the house and the god.

Loki knew what would make the archer’s day and be an appropriate show. He closed his eyes as he gathered the self-confidence, and will to do such a thing, and then opened them as he let his guard down. For several long seconds he allowed the archer a chance to gaze upon his true form. Clint’s face showed his shock yet there was an underlying emotion, something Loki would never have known if he couldn’t feel it through the bond. True desire. It was hot intense and primal. It was mixed with some new level of adoration, and a lust so thick and so sweet it made his mouth water and his body ache.

He shivered and let his Asgardian form slip back on just as Steve turned his head to glance at him. Loki raised a hand to greet him and he did the same before turning back to Clint. When the two began engaging in combat, Loki was pleased to find the archer putting forth extra effort to impress him and eventually win one of the skirmishes against the soldier. The rest all resulting in cleverly manoeuvred ties.


	40. Chapter 40

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All mistakes are my own. If something doesn't look right or doesn't make sense, let me know and I'll fix it.
> 
> Please enjoy the chapter.

\----------------------40----------------------

“It’s beginning to look a lot like HALLOWEEN! Every candy’s bagged! There’s cream filled and caramel! A couple of tart as well! A few that taste great covering my diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiick!!!” Clint sang as he washed his hair. Loki was sitting in the bath with a book shaking his head slowly. “What?” the archer said when he noticed his reaction.

“Nothing,” he replied and turned a page, his lips pursed a bit in a sour way. His look suggested he was unimpressed with the song.

Clint narrowed his eyes and finished rinsing his hair out before he turned the water off and stepped out. He carefully hurried to the tub and climbed in. Loki raised his book to prevent the sudden water disturbance from getting it wet.

He looked at the archer a bit unhappily. “What?”

“What?” he said with a smile and went over to invade the god’s space.

“Clint I’m reading,” he sighed trying to do so. He had to hold the book up above him and tilt his head and upper body back as the mortal got into his lap and personal area.

“You know what’s better than that?”

“Chocolate?”

“It’s better than that too?”

“Sleep?”

“We can do that after it,”

“The exhaustion one feels after giving birth?”

Clint narrowed his eyes and considered that one. “I honestly don’t know.” Loki made a noise to indicate he had heard him but that he didn’t care to listen to what he had said in response. “Do you need a hint?”

“If your erection isn’t one then I haven’t a clue as to what it could be.”

“Oh you feel that huh?” he laughed and rubbed against the god a bit.

Loki gave him a look. Clint wagged his eyebrows and made a blow job gesture with his hand and mouth as he pushed his tongue into his cheek a few times. The god snapped his book closed and set it safely on the small table he’d set up next to him to hold things he needed when he bathed.

The moment his hands were free, Clint dove in and began kissing him passionately. Oh it had been days! Weeks! Alright almost _a_ week – but it was too long! Loki moaned and grabbed a hold of Clint’s hair, pulling it a little as he flicked his tongue against the archer’s. Clint’s fingers flexed into Loki’s sides and he made a small noise as the sensation caused his body to slowly become aroused.

When they came up for air, Clint let out a loud moan while Loki’s mouth travelled down and down. “Yes!” he gasped and looked down just in time to watch as one of his nipples disappeared into the god’s mouth. “Uh yes!”

Loki moaned and sucked on it as one of his hands moved down to slip between Clint’s cheeks. The archer groaned and pushed his body against Loki’s more. The god rubbed his fingers over his hole in a slow teasing manner. He let go of Clint’s nipple and bit at the side of it, sucking the flesh as he ran a hand down Clint’s side. He moved his hand carefully avoiding his tattoo and then continued down to get at his knee.

“Don’t,” he laughed and pulled at his hand.

Loki hummed and pulled his head back to look up at him. “Why ever not?”

“You know damn well it tickles,”

“Hmmm,” he said thoughtfully and put his hand to run over Clint’s torso, kissing a few places before pulling him flush against his body and kissed him. “Then does that mean here is ticklish as well?” he asked quickly against the archer’s lips and dragged his fingers up along Clint’s spine.

The archer shivered and arched his body, letting his head drop back. Loki leaned forward and kissed his chest. Smoothing a hand up Barton’s abs, he stuck his tongue out an licked a drop of water off of his skin.

Clint exhaled carefully and straightened. Gently tilting the god’s face up, he kissed him. It was slow and tender at first and then progressed with building need. They moved against one another, their hands sliding along each other’s bodies or up to tangle into hair. Clint gave a rough pull at Loki’s and the god whimpered in delight.

“Would it be too much to ask something of you?”

“Hmmm?” he hummed and allowed his head to be pulled to the side so that Clint could kiss his throat.

“Would you mind changing?”

It took a moment for Loki to figure out what he was asking. When he did, he opened his eyes and furrowed his brows a little.

“It’s okay if you don’t,” Clint said quickly.

“No, I…” he bit his lip and avoided his gaze, “It’s still new,” was all he whispered before he let his body shift. He kept his eyes closed until he felt Clint gently kiss them.

“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered and continued to kiss his features, paying particular attention to his birthlines on his cheeks and the ones upon his forehead.

Loki swallowed and exhaled a little uncomfortable yet stayed perfectly still and waited. He felt Clint brush his nose up the side of his cheek and he shivered as his breath tickled his skin. He moved a bit in the water, his hands flitting around Clint’s sides and arms.

“Are you okay?” he asked watching the god carefully.

Loki nodded. “I’m just a tad…the water,” he licked his lips and swallowed nervously.

“Do you want to get out?” he kissed his nose. Loki nodded a little, yet leaned his face up enough to kiss the archer. Clint kissed him gently and took up the god’s hands. He moved off to the side and stood, pulling the god up and they both cautiously stepped from the tub and went into the bedroom. Once there they climbed into bed with little laughs and Loki playfully bumping Clint with the back of his hand as he pulled the god down to him in an awkward manner, which had thrown Loki’s balance off a bit as he was trying to settle and cover himself up.

Clint pulled at the covers Loki had tried hiding under and ran his hands along his bare legs as he admired him. Loki felt heat rise to his face and he shifted to hide his smile in the archer’s shoulder.

“Would it upset you if I asked what each meant?” Clint asked pulling the god’s leg up to wrap around his waist.

Loki knitted his brows together as he considered it. “I don’t honestly know.”

“If it does, we can stop,” he offered and looked at the god. His hair had fallen around his face chaotically and only one of his eyes was visible; it was half-lidded and with that slow shy smile that stretched upon his mouth, he looked simply and purely gorgeous.

“We may try,” he agreed with a blush.

Clint smiled and ran his finger up the three lines that curved around Loki’s thighs and stopped just a few inches down his calves. “These?”

“The thicker curvier one in the middle is agility; the two thinner curves are balance and evasion skills.”

“So these are like forever trophies. Achievements you can wear?”

“Yes,”

Clint drew his fingers along the three lines as they curved up and around Loki’s outer thighs toward his backside. They fanned out and faded at the inner part of his cheeks, yet Clint never let his fingers go that far. Loki felt heat rise to his face knowing that the archer knew such a thing and, shockingly enough, longed for the day he’d take the time to properly adore them. Clint let his hand wander a little further up Loki’s body. “These?” he asked touching the ones around his waist. They followed the lines of his hips and rounded down to form into a design in the middle of his stomach.

“Successful pregnancy and this top thicker one indicates the level of fertility,” Loki pointed to each one in turn. Clint’s index finger tapped the top of Loki’s and brushed along his for a second.

Clint nodded and moved his finger to two long straight lines upon his front. “These?”

“Belong to these,” Loki indicated to where they came up to just before his pectoral muscles and then curved around to his back. Clint’s fingers followed them and he felt that they went all the way around to the other side. “Strength.”

He followed the two stripes down, taking some time to touch both smooth and the marked parts of his skin. He then touched were the pregnancy and fertility lines joined with two small half-circles on either side of Loki’s belly button, set away from becoming whole by a little more than an inch of space.

“The mark of one who has borne children,” he replied and then tapped each small dot spaced evenly around its inner parts. “Each mark represents a child.”

“You have eight, why are there only four here?”

“Because the other four are here,” he indicated to a spot above his member. At the base of each arc a singular thick line ran down toward his manhood and faded on either side of it. There were four dots on the inner wide ‘v’ the design made.

“These thick lines are part of the fertility one up here?”

“Yes,” he smiled pleased Clint had guessed correctly.

The archer shifted and kissed at the god’s shoulder. “These?”

“The inner ones around my shoulder are more indicators of strength, the outer longer ones,” he traced a finger up along the three that ran along his collar bone and up his neck. One faded behind his ears, the other two curved up his jaw and half way along his cheek bones; the bottom ones stopping just short of the top lines. “These are intelligence.”

“These?” Clint asked kissing at the three lines on Loki’s chin. The two longer ones went from the corners of his mouth to a little ways along the under part of his chin, whereas the middle one only curved from the bottom centre of his lip to stop at the end of his chin.

“Speech, and the centre ones is a warning that my words tend to be spoken only for necessity and may be sharp,”

Clint hummed and continued to kiss at them for a little bit. Loki’s skin broke out into goose bumps. “The ones on your back?”

“The ones that we have not previously discussed are more brawn matter things.”

“These?” Clint asked kissing the bands on his upper arms.

“Courage and bravery,” he admitted shyly in a mumble.

“What?” Clint smiled at him. “What did you say?”

“Courage and bravery,” he said it again the same way.

The archer kissed the marks with care. “And the inner dots?”

“Times I’ve proven myself worthy of carrying the bands,”

“Those are a lot of dots.”

“They form into other shapes with further trials,”

“Yeah?”

“Yes,”

“And these on your wrists?”

Loki swallowed and furrowed his brow sadly as he looked at the jagged and oddly placed bands. “Slavery.”

“Oh,” Clint whispered and carefully touched them. “Will they be –”

“Yes,” he looked away and pulled his arms out of Clint’s touch. “They will change over time, yet they’ll never fade.”

“I’m sorry,” Clint whispered and then reached up to touch the marks upon Loki’s brow.

The god jerked his head away, “No,” he said with barely a whisper of a plea. “No more. Please.”

“Okay,” Clint nodded backing off.

Loki hurriedly rolled over and curled in upon himself. “May I change into my other form?”

“You know you’re allowed whenever you please. I don’t have control of such a thing. It’s your body.”

_“It’s your body…” he had said as he held out long metal tongs over his chest. Grasped firmly between the two flat edges was a huge fiery piece of a dead star. “You may choose to remain silent, however…know that the longer you do…the longer we’re inclined to…help persuade you to make the right choice.” He set the stunning bit onto him and Loki screamed in agony._

He jerked himself out of that horrid flashback and shivered violently as the phantom pains receded. He curled his body in tighter and squeezed his eyes shut.

Clint carefully moved up behind him and wrapped his arm around him, kissing on his shoulder and neck for a bit. “I got this scar from a handcuff,” he said and pointed to one long line across his wrist. “People used to think it was from me attempting suicide or whatever, but it was from one of the clients. He was really weird, and one of the things he liked was to tighten handcuffs to the point that you couldn’t feel your fingers after a bit. I got this from fighting back.”

“What happened to him?” Loki hesitantly asked.

“Ja… _he_ stepped in and recovered the man’s patronage, yet never sent my brother or I to him again. I received a beating. No markings, just black eyes and bruises for a while.”

“I’m sorry…” he said.

Clint shrugged. “It got me out of having to do things until I healed. It was always worth it.”

Loki cleared his throat and then swallowed slowly before relaxing a bit. He realised he hadn’t changed yet and that Clint had somehow managed to get his hands and entangle their fingers together. He ran a finger over the mark Clint had mentioned and then over one of the horrid bands on his body.

“The man who sent me to Midgard with the sceptre gave me these,” he whispered. “These and all of the other scares I hide.”

Clint rested his chin against Loki’s arm. “Why do you hide them?”

“What was the man’s name who hurt you?”

He laughed ruefully. “Which one?”

Loki winced, incredibly displeased and sad at the thoughts that question brought to mind. “The one that handcuffed you?”

“He was the ‘strongest man in the world’ act. Clive One-Ton.” He shrugged. “That probably wasn’t his real name anyways. It doesn’t matter,” he sighed a bit, “he’s dead. Nothing as he should have deserved, but I sometimes pretend he choked to death on a chicken bone or was impaled by a metal pole.”

Loki played with Clint’s fingers for a bit and then brought them to his lips. He pressed kisses to them and then brought one up to his forehead. Clint shifted to move closer and let the god move his first two fingers along the ridges of his brow.

“Jötunn royalty, until they ascend to the throne have lines curving upon their foreheads and around. They are studded with dots, separations to their bands, or their lines are wavy. Upon becoming king or queen, their lines morph to the centre back of their head, and spike around toward their face. It is to follow the line of the crown they must wear. My lines indicate that I am a child of royalty, yet a bastard…one of the lower forms one can be.” He brought Clint’s fingers down and touched near the sides of his eyes were several short lines ran across, at an angle, and then a little down. “These indicate that I have suffered great personal sadness and the loss of a close loved one.”

Loki pulled Clint’s hands away from his face and held them to the centre of his chest. The archer gently kissed his shoulder and then rested his cheek against the god’s back.

“Are you displeased with me?” he asked quietly.

“How could I be?” Clint asked back.

Loki shrugged. “For my markings…for…” he shrugged again and suddenly felt horridly stupid.

“It’s okay,” Clint said reassuringly. “I know you’re still adjusting, but know that what you see is not what I see.”

“Such as?”

“You see your bastard lines; I see a crown. You see markings of suffering; I see lines of endearment and strength of will. You see bands of slavery; I see physical proof of your fight for freedom. I mean look at these,” he pointed to the ones on the god’s arms. “Courage, bravery, and these are strength ones and more, and then you have these,” he said putting one hand on Loki’s stomach and the other on his pelvic region. It made the god jump and cover the archer’s hands with his own in shock. “ _These_ are important. _These_ are accomplishments. You wear these on your body and people know you are a father and mother. They see you’ve loved and lost. They see you’re intelligent, and gifted with magic, and words, and all of the times you’ve proven you are brave and wonderful at doing things. To a trained eye, they can just glance and know your life story.”

“If my heritage doesn’t frighten them away first,” he muttered darkly.

“Well then fuck them if it does,” Clint said and then gently pulled Loki to roll over and look at him. “I mean it. If someone doesn’t want to take the time to get to know you, then you don’t need them in your life. Why would you want to put yourself down? Don’t give others that power. Only give it to those that matter. The ones that love you unconditionally and unquestioningly – just pure absolute acceptance and love – those are the ones whose opinions matter. Those are the ones you should spend your time worrying about. Strangers and people who don’t, aren’t worth it. They don’t look at these,” he said holding Loki’s wrists up to for him to look at them. “They don’t see the victory in this. They don’t see the horror of what you went through and what your body wants to tell about it.”

Loki closed his hands into fists and bit his lips as he averted his gaze. His heart caught in his chest as he listened to Clint’s passionate speech. There was a part which desperately wished to agree with him. He wanted to learn to see himself in the amazing way that Clint seemed too, yet there was another part, the one which the darkness fed off of that told him the archer was lying and that he was still repulsive.

“Loki, look at me.” He obliged Clint’s request. “I love you. I love _all_ of you.” He leaned his face down and kissed at the jagged lines upon Loki’s wrists. The god’s lips parted as he opened his hands and reached for the archer’s face. He cradled it and let Clint’s hands run down his arms and sides slowly. They moved closer to each other and spent several long moments just looking at one another.

Clint’s eyes held a warm happiness and his lips were in a faint smile, the corners twitching just slightly as he took in the conflicting thoughtful expressions the god’s features showed. Loki’s eyes zigzagged over the archer’s; scanning for any hint of the façade that darkness told him was surely there. He found no whisper of it, just acceptance and love.

He leaned forward and kissed Clint sweetly for a moment. He pulled back and licked his lips before hesitantly moving forward to kiss him again and then again. Clint allowed Loki to control the tempo of the moment. He gave him full control and relaxed asthe god slid his fingers through his hair and around the under part of his jaw. It made Clint’s skin break into goose bumps and he shivered.

Loki smiled as he pulled his face back and watched his fingers draw, one at a time, off of Clint’s chin. The archer shivered again and his eyes fluttered opened. Loki’s grin widened at the sight and he leaned forward, running his fingers through Clint’s hair again as he kissed him.

“You’re so beautiful,” Clint whispered and kissed down the god’s throat as they moved to wrap their arms around one another tightly. He kissed Loki’s shoulder and then his face. The god felt heat rise to his cheeks and he hid his smile it in the archer’s neck and shoulder. “So beautiful.”

“I wish I could forever see through your eyes,” he sighed, part of him hating himself and the other part, which had now become overwhelming, was embarrassedly flattered. He pulled back a bit so that he could see Clint’s face. He let his fingers trail over the archer’s lips.

Clint kissed them and then the rest of Loki’s hand slowly. “These?” he asked noticing the little lines on the sides of the back of Loki’s hands.

“They note that I am…crafty.”

“Ahhh, crafty, huh?” He wagged his eye brows.

“Not in _that_ manner,” he laughed and pushed a little at Clint’s chest. “In a…knit, and spin, and weave sort of fashion.”

“You can knit?”

“Yes, I can.”

“Like what?”

“All kinds of things,” he shrugged.

“Would you make me something?” he asked rubbing the back of Loki’s hand with his four fingers. He made the god shiver with delight.

“Yes,” he whispered and looked into his eyes.

“Yeah?” he smiled, now his turn to blush.

“Yes, I’d love too.” He kissed him. “What would you have me make?”

“I’d be honoured to wear whatever you want.”

“Even something hideously embarrassing?” he challenged deviously.

Clint nodded. “I’d point it out to random strangers and go: ‘Hey look at this! My husband made this and it’s only for me and not you,’ and then I’d promptly stick my tongue out at them and run off.”

They both laughed.

“Would you really?” Loki asked as his mirth subsided a bit.

“Of course,” Clint’s brows furrowed for a moment and then smoothed out along with another one of his loving smiles. “Why wouldn’t I brag about my amazing lover who makes me hideously embarrassing things? I mean it might not be the best looking thing even, but you took the time to make it, and it was made for me. That matters the most, regardless of what it turns out to look like in the end.”

Loki felt a tidal wave of emotions hit him and he hide his face in his hands and Clint’s shoulder as he tried very hard not to cry.

“I’m sorry,” Clint said holding him. “I didn’t mean to offend you. I’m sure you make lovely things –”

“No,” he shook his head and felt tears fall down the one side of his face. “No you haven’t offended.” He sniffed and wiped at them. “I apologise, I do not mean to blubber and ruin the moment.”

“No, I mean it’s what you’re feeling, that’s okay,” he kissed his forehead.

“I’m just…” he licked his lips and forced himself to stay together. “I’m just taken aback. I’ve never had…” he sniffed again and shook his head not able to hold it in any longer. “I’m sorry,” he managed before he curled into the archer and began crying.

Clint held him close. He kissed, and soothed, and whispered reassurances that it was perfectly natural and alright for the god to be crying. He promised Loki that he hadn’t ruined anything and that so long as the tears were good ones, he could shed all that he needed.

And they were. They were tears of relief. Of acceptance. Of revelation. Of love. Of confusion. Of anger. Of sadness. Of joy.

Loki cried harder until his sides ached, his throat was raw, and his eyes were swollen His nose was grossly stuffy and wet, and his chest was heavy with a feeling that made all of the hairs on his body stand in awe. Clint offered him the corner of the bed sheet and he shamelessly emptied his nose several times upon it. He used another section to clean his face before he settled and lay protectively curled and cradled close to Clint’s warm body.

“I love you…” he whispered, staring at the far wall deep in thought.

“I love you as well,” he said kissing the god’s forehead tenderly.

Loki turned his face up to Clint’s and suddenly felt centuries younger. He swallowed down the pain of a phantom memory, long put away in the hopes it’d fade into nothing, and kissed him. He wouldn’t let the archer go; he only pulled him closer and closer still.

The desire, this time, was stronger. Clint knew Loki was ready by the way he slipped his leg around his waist, and by how he willingly offered his end of the connection without prompt or hesitation in his Jötunn form. Loki wanted this. More than he had before. He wanted to feel pride in his body as Clint and he coupled. The dying embers of his heat flared up enough to help egg his needs on.

Loki used his hands to turn Clint’s face to kiss him this way and that until he wanted those lips elsewhere. He turned his face and tilted Clint’s, bringing the archer’s gently to the side of his jaw and neck. He slid his hands down Barton’s front and around his waist. Clint sighed and ran his fingers along Loki’s back before moving one hand at the centre of the god’s back, to support his body, and the other to grab at his leg and pull him closer.

They moaned as they started moving against one another in firm leisurely motions. Clint slipped a leg in between Loki’s and leaned in a tad to create more friction. The noise which fell from Loki’s mouth was so delicious and erotic it sent shivers along Clint’s body. He moved his hands down and gripped the god’s rear, his mouth seeking out his favourite spot on the god’s neck.

Loki gave a small jump when he felt teeth and smiled before his features furrowed and he groaned. Nothing excited him more now than the feel of the archer claiming him. He held Clint’s head there and gasped, pulling at him a little to indicate he wanted more. Clint bit down harder and sucked. He knew on a normal person their skin would have been torn and they would have been very much in pain, yet he imaged from the way Loki acted it felt like the lightest and most intimate of bites. It almost made him wonder if he had the same strength and powers if they’d still be so rough with each other.

_No,_ he thought to himself. They’d still be rough, just evenly matched.

“‘No’ what?” Loki whispered and then winced with a moaned as Clint slowly pulled away from his throat, still sucking at the skin.

“Hm?” he hummed and licked his lips once he’d let go. That should have left a great enough bruise.

“You said ‘no’, whatever for?”

“I was debating in my head something,” he kissed Loki to help quiet the doubts he knew his words would bring. “It’s about our strength differences.”

“Oh?” he frowned concerned.

Clint brushed Loki’s hair from his face and kissed him again. “Yes,” he kissed down his jaw and other side of his throat. “I often wonder if my version of rough is rough enough for you.”

Loki gave a breathy chuckle. “Your version of anything is enough for myself.”

“Now you’re flattering me,” he laughed and moved a little lower so that he could kiss and suck at Loki’s nipples.

“Oh gentle,” he sighed, his head tilting back as his body arched into Clint.

“ _Still_ sensitive?”

“Yes,” he breathed and then moaned when Clint gave one of his nipples the barest of licks.

“Hm,” Clint smirked and did it again.

“Clint!” he groaned and moved his body against him.

“I thought you said your heat was over?”

The god growled frustrated. “It would seem there are a few lingering symptoms.”

“So the other night, when you were about to die from the sexual rapture, it wasn’t because I’m awesome? It was because your body’s still out of whack with the earth?”

“I’d say it was a bit of both,” he smirked playfully and ran his fingers through Clint’s hair.

He hummed and opted to gently kiss his nipples each in turn before moving down. The god let out a shaky breath and tensed a little as Clint moved lower and lower. He swirled his tongue around his navel and kissed it with a small nip. It made fire sweep around Loki’s body and he shivered in delight.

Clint moved lower, looking up at the god just before he dragged his tongue over Loki’s semi-hard member. The god shifted and went to move his leg away. Clint caught it and brought it back to lay up his shoulder, his fingers playing along the very back and tracing up the curve of his ass.

Loki moaned; his eyes fluttering closed just as he felt the heat of Clint’s mouth upon his member once more. The archer gently kissed along it; his eyes never leaving the god’s face as one hand slipped between his legs to help him worship Loki’s erection, and his other in between his cheeks to gently tease his entrance. Loki’s moan caught in his throat and he reached back for Clint’s hand and tapped the spell to it.

They felt the cool lubricant and both moaned for different reasons. Clint began working in a finger as he kissed the underside of Loki’s length. The god sighed and shifted a bit, his face falling back to the mattress as pleasure crept in to mingle with fiery desire.

“Yes…” he breathed and covered his face with a bent arm; his fingers racking through his hair.

Clint began licking his member with long slow strokes, the tip of his finger pushing in and pulling out to match his motions. He watched as the god’s body reflexively moved to try and get more of his finger. Clint pulled back though, not ready to give in to his wishes just yet. It earned him a sigh of frustration.

He smiled and pressed kisses up and down his length, his finger still slow and teasing as he moved just the tip in and out. Loki shifted and made a noise to indicate his irritation at being denied what he wanted. Clint chuckled lightly and waited until the god rolled his hips again to strike. He pretended as though he were going to pull it out again, causing Loki to move himself down in an attempt to follow it, yet quickly pushed it in. Loki gave a startled throaty moan, tensing up as he was caught off guard. He twisted his fingers into his hair and moaned a little softer, begging for more.

Clint began sucking on his head and ran his tongue teasingly around it. He let it pop from his lips and then covered it in kisses before gently moving his foreskin back and licked along the corona.

Loki swallowed a moan and reached down to gently grip Clint’s hair as he felt him sneak a second finger in. After a few tight movements, Loki relaxed enough and the fingers were able to easily glide in and out, although he wished it were faster. He felt a wave of goose bumps roll along his back and he moaned again.

Clint began bobbing his head along Loki’s length, timing it so that he would take in more gradually. He knew it drove the god crazy. He could feel the sensation: a slow tight heat spreading in the opposite direction of the heated blood flow. Loki’s internal body temperature might have been slightly higher in his true form, but his external was cooler; almost as though he’d been standing outside in the wind without a jacket for a little too long: just a touch of the snippy chilliness of fall with a whisper of an unforgiving winter.

“Clint…” he panted and shifted on the sheets, in small motions, incessantly; his body was far too wound up to remain still for much longer.

He hummed in answer and felt Loki’s muscles tighten around his fingers. He was exerting so much force Clint had to push his fingers up a bit to keep them from slipping out. Loki exhaled satisfied and brought his leg up. Clint used his free hand to direct him to roll with him into a new position: Barton now on his back with Loki kneeling above him.

He pushed his fingers up and Loki came down. He gave his wrist a twist as they pulled apart and Loki groaned. Clint used his other hand to stroke the god’s length and lifted his head, carefully sucking Loki’s balls into his mouth.

The god widened his legs and pressed himself closer to the archer’s face. Clint mouthed and licked his sac as he rocked above him; taking his time and randomly deciding when to suck on his scrotum and when to thrust his fingers up. Regardless if he did both actions at the same time or one at a time, they earned him satisfying groans of frustration and need.

Loki was messing his hair up. His forehead and elbows were pressed into the mattress as he fought to keep himself in control. How deliciously wonderful would it be to witness himself thrusting down into Barton’s hot mouth? To see as his blue length disappear in between his pink lips; feel himself go into his throat; watch as Clint’s lusty eyes watered slightly as he willingly held his breath to deep throat him and obediently pleasured him.

He jerked and fearfully pushed down the darker possessive urges that rose up within him. He tried scrambling off of Clint and landed on his back with the archer’s hands hooked on his thighs and his face still near his erection.

“What is it?” Clint asked worried.

“Nothing,” he panted, not out of desire but of fear now. A fear Clint could sense without the bond. Loki tried scooting out from under him, but Clint was in a better position and lay in between his spread legs; one hand holding his thigh, pulling it up around him, the other gently brushing his cheek to try and comfort him.

“Clint,” he whispered; the smallest of pleas in his tone begged for him to let him go.

Barton pulled back quickly, worried he’d gone too far, and gave the god some room. “I’m sorry,” he said sincerely apologetic to his very core.

Loki sat up and tucked his hair back from his face. “It’s not…I just,” he licked his lips and closed his eyes as he took a few calming breaths. “I felt…” he paused and then exhaled, feeling horrible and stupid for admitting such a thing, “I thought it was the darkness…”

“The darkness?” he furrowed his brow confused. He looked the god over and shook his head. He couldn’t feel it anywhere important in him; just the usual drifting feeling, yet nothing that suggested it was active or even remotely interested in Loki’s activities.

“I know,” he sighed brushing his fingers through his hair to flip it back out of his face. “I know, it’s not actually the darkness…I…it was a thought I had and I didn’t enjoy it…”

Clint carefully wrapped his arms around him and pressed a simple kiss to his cheek. “We don’t have –”

“I do,” he insisted looking at him. “I want to,” he licked his lips and looked the archer’s face over before going in for a kiss. He cradled Barton’s face and kissed him as though his life depended upon it. Clint was so caught off guard by his reaction that he just stared wide eyed stunned for a few moments. Loki pulled back and worried is bottom lip fearful he had ruined such a special moment between them. “Have I –”

“No,” he reassured and tucked some of Loki’s hair back behind his ear to better see his face. “No, you are…perfect,” he whispered and leaned in to kiss him properly this time.

Loki wrapped his arms around Clint’s neck as the archer kept one arm around his waist to hold him and the other went in between his legs and down to slip his two fingers into Loki’s hole again. The god moaned and pressed himself closer to Clint, both of them falling to the bed again.

Clint kissed along his throat and chest as he made his way back down. Loki tensed and gripped his hair, scared that feeling would return. Clint gently soothed a hand up his chest and slipped a third finger in. Loki moaned, yet still remained anxious.

“Were you not ready for another finger?” he asked.

“No,” Loki said, “It’s that…” he sighed and tried relaxing.

“Tell me about it,” he asked kissing his stomach.

Loki shrugged. “It was…it is something I associate from the Tesseract…”

“Okay,” he nodded; his face and tone suggested he was still willingly listening.

“I don’t…” he shrugged and shook his head with a sigh, “I do not have words.”

“Well…we have this cool thing called a bond…and sometimes, when you want, you can send me your feelings –”

“You’ll despise me for it,” he said biting his lip.

“Despise is a super strong word,” he said moving back up the bed so that he could properly look at him.

“Hate then,”

Clint gently tugged the god’s bottom lip out from between his teeth. “A feeling for a feeling?”

“What could you trade that is equal to this?”

“My honest reaction about your thought,”

Loki looked at him for a second and then began thinking back to that moment. The desire and image blossomed over his mind and it made him shiver with need.

Clint smirked and slowly scooted down again.

“What are you doing?” Loki asked.

“What does it look like?” he said taking Loki’s length in hand and stroked it a few times before putting it into his mouth.

“Clint you promised, a feeling for a feeling,” he reminded growing a tad nervous.

He hummed.

Loki realised then that he was completing the trade fairly. His reaction was the desire to fulfil Loki’s wish. Loki didn’t know how he felt about it.

“When I’ve got your dick down my throat, do you want me to try and do my tongue flick thing again?”

Loki sighed completely flabbergasted that that was his only response to the situation. “I can’t believe you are alright with that thought!” he muttered throwing an arm over his eyes.

“I can’t believe you feel guilty over a dirty little desire that I can easily, and willingly, submit to,” he said before dragging his tongue up the god’s blue length.

“It was wrong of me –”

“I’m not clear if you’re more upset at yourself over the ‘selfish’ part of the thought, or the part where you’re doing it in your Jötunn form and feel as though you’re abusing my free will?”

Loki remained quiet.

Clint kissed his thigh. “Have I upset you?”

“No,” he whispered. “I am sorting this all out in my mind.”

“Y’know what our problem is?”

“Hm?”

“Our problem here is sometimes you think you are selfish by wanting to have sex with me. You view certain acts as being wholly individualised with no benefit rewarded to myself for being a part of the act. Loki, I love sucking your dick. We both know this. Why are you making yourself feel bad for wanting me to do something that I love?”

“This…” he sighed again and let his arm fall off to the side as he looked away. “It is the idea of treating you as an object and not a person I find revolting. That is why I do not enjoy those thoughts.”

“Then think of it this way: if you honestly thought of me as an object, you wouldn’t feel bad for thinking those things.”

Loki was silent for a minute. “You’re not upset that I had that thought?” he asked hesitantly and began biting his lip again.

Clint leaned over him and nipped at his bottom lip to try and get him to stop. “No. Now do you want me to try the tongue thing with it or not?”

“Yes please,” he breathed.

Clint smirked and settled back between his legs. He wasted no time in getting Loki back to that aching place he’d been at before. Loki was hesitant at first, yet when he felt Clint swallow him down and just the barest brush of a tongue, in a way that should not have been humanly possible, he surrendered completely and let his passions sweep him away. Clint carefully sailed them in the right direction. A perfectly placed kiss; the right amount of pressure from a lick; the noises that accompanied such actions; the sensation of a hot mouth and suction on his balls; hands wandering around his chest; fingers trailing down his sides; teeth nipping at his thighs and heated wet swipes of tongues to sooth the tender marks.

Loki moaned and gripped Clint’s hair before rolling his hips up. He felt the archer relax his body and jaw and knew Clint was giving him permission to move. He did, slow at first, testing out where he could and couldn’t aim until he was moaning and thrusting up. He looked down and found Clint watching him, his eyes intense, dark, lustful, and with the slightest amount of water in them.

He pushed at Loki’s hips a little and the god let him go. Clint gasped and quickly bent his head to lick at Loki’s erection. His chin was covered in spit and the fact that it didn’t seemed to bother him at all only heightened the god’s desire. Loki reached down and cupped Barton’s chin, lifting his head a bit. They locked eyes and Clint flicked his tongue out to try and taste the god’s body on the way up.

Loki yanked him into an appreciative kiss and felt his anxieties lessen.

“I can try again and flick my tongue out more?” Clint offered when they pulled back to look at one another. Loki groaned and the archer chuckled and hurried back down his body. Clint stroked his length a few times before he took him back into his mouth and bobbed his head up and down until he felt comfortable enough to deep throat him. Loki moaned and set his hands upon Clint’s shoulders; flexing his fingers into his skin a little as he felt him relax his jaw and drag his tongue along his sac.

Clint pulled back, keeping just the head in his mouth, and inhaled through his nose quickly. He gripped Loki’s erection in one hand and looked up at him as he sucked and pulled his face away, releasing him with a loud pop. Loki cupped Clint’s chin lovingly and brushed his knuckles along his cheek. Clint stuck his tongue out and let it dance over his tip, dipping into the slit. His precum made his mouth water even more and he dropped his face down to suck upon his scrotum again.

Loki hummed running his hands over his chest as he arched off the bed. He slid them down and rubbed at his thighs a bit. Clint licked up and pressed kisses to the god’s fingers. Loki moaned a little and brushed them against his cheek. Clint kissed the pads of them and then sucked one into his mouth, swirling his tongue around it sensually. Loki moaned a tad louder and gently pushed another finger against Clint’s lips. He willingly drew it into his mouth and sucked on them, turning his head a little as he moved his face back and forth, treating them with the same devotion and care he did with Loki’s member.

Goose bumps rolled up Loki’s arm and he shivered, pulling his hand back a bit. Clint let his fingers slide from his mouth and dragged his tongue up the god’s erection. Loki sighed and propped himself up on an arm, reaching further down to tease his entrance. Clint pushed two fingers into him gently and watched as Loki rubbed at his perineum. He looked up at him and found Loki staring intensely down at him as he played with himself.

“You are one gorgeous being,” he whispered and kissed Loki’s fingers, sucking on them just the tiniest bit as he pulled away and went back to worshiping his length.

Loki hummed and swallowed. He felt Clint push a third finger in and he opened his legs wider, bending them up a bit and leaning back more as he massaged his sweet spot from the outside; each push sending pleasure through him.

Clint twisted his fingers and pushed up on Loki’s prostate at the same time the god pushed down. The god cried out, his head falling back as his body jerked, his legs pulling in toward one another slightly. Clint did it again and watched as Loki fell back to the bed, one of his legs coming up to his chest and the other bending to plant his foot into the mattress. Clint pushed his fingers into Loki again and watched as he arched and moaned, his toes curling tightly.

Clint let out a low whistle. “Damn you’re perfect…” he breathed with such adoration with made both of them shiver.

Loki’s body jerked again as Clint’s fingers brushed his spot and he groaned, letting his arms fall to the side as he was lost to the wondrous sensation.

“Do you want to stay like this?”

Loki moaned, unable to form real words.

“You have to tell me,” he nearly sang as he gently ran his fingertips around Loki’s hole teasingly.

Loki huffed as it sent a jolt up his spine. His legs jerked again and he whimpered slightly. Before the archer could do anything else to render him speechless, he quickly answered through the bond: _Let me please you…_

Clint removed his fingers from him and rose up onto his knees. Loki hurried to his hands and knees and began eagerly licking Clint’s member. The archer sighed and set his hands upon Loki’s shoulders, massaging them for a bit, and then let his fingers play along his neck. The god gently sucked on his heated skin and swirled his tongue along his length, his eyes looking up at him for any sign of what he could do to further please him. Clint let his head fall back as he groaned. Loki braced himself with one hand and used the other to help him stroke Barton’s length as he kissed his sac.

The feel of Loki’s mouth and tongue on him was indescribable. Clint had received a fair number of blowjobs and handjobs by many different people from many different parts of the world, and _nothing_ could compare to how wonderful the god’s touch was. He leaned back, Loki moving with him as he shifted to lay flat on the bed. Loki gently mouthed and sucked, alternating between cherishing Clint’s erection and his sac.

Barton ran his fingers through Loki’s hair and gripped a fistful to help steady himself. He felt dizzy from the manner and speed his blood had rushed to his groin. Loki’s eyes were intoxicating as well, his pupils large and the look he was giving him, it made Clint shiver with delight. He let out a weak groan and shifted as Loki pulled back a little to wipe his chin and lick his lips.

“Good?” he asked with a little insecurity in his tone.

“So good,” Clint nodded with a smile. He held his arms out and Loki crawled on top of him. They kissed. Loki inhaled with excitement and Clint drew his fingers up his back. It made him shiver and every hair upon him stood on edge. Clint smiled in victory and setting one hand upon Loki’s back to support him and the other just near the crook of his knee, he quickly held him close and rolled them so that they were on their side.

Loki rolled a little away from him, more from inertia than his own will, and pushed his hair back out of his face. Clint grinned at him as he continued to trace his fingers over the god’s soft skin. Loki shyly returned a smile and scooted to him again. He wrapped his free leg around Clint’s waist and was very pleased to find an eager hand helping to hold him and even pull him a little closer. He wrapped his arms around Clint’s neck and kissed him again. The fingers of Clint’s other hand trailed down his spine and settled upon his hip.

Clint leaned his lower half toward Loki a little and hefted him up a bit more. Loki chuckled, a tiny bit nervously, yet felt his heart flutter with great enthusiasm. Clint kissed slowly down his throat as he put a hand between them and stroked himself a few times. Loki lifted his leg a little and grabbed Clint’s bicep, massaging it with anxious excitement. He felt Barton position himself and gently push in. Loki exhaled slowly and then tilted his head back to moan gratefully as Clint sank deeper into him.

He covered his throat in kisses, running one hand over the god’s chest and side, as the other held him close. Loki moaned again and then squeezed his eyes shut with a small huff as Clint snapped his hips up. Electricity ran from the base of his spine up and it made him shiver. Clint grabbed his thigh and started rolling his hips. Loki wrapped his arms around his neck and played with the back of the archer’s neck as they kissed.

It wasn’t what either of them were used too. It was slow and somewhat awkward, both of them having to adjust more than really getting into the usual sex part of it all, yet there was a playfulness that came with the position which held a passion of its own. It was more of a need to be near the other and to be in their arms rather than forcefully rutting against one another to satisfy. It was truthfully satisfying without all of the aggressive moving and they found it more enjoyable to kiss as they lazily moved against each other than anything else they’d done previously. It was new and it was exciting.

Loki hummed in delight as he felt Clint’s length slide into him again. It was almost teasing in the way it made his nerves tingle and his hair stand on end. His leg trembled as Clint dragged his fingers along the underside of it. He wrapped his arms tighter around him as he felt the archer’s hot breath on his collarbone. His kiss was wet and sent goose bumps down his body. His hands held him firmly and Loki sighed as he was filled again. His toes curled as it firmly rubbed against his prostate.

Clint ran a hand down the god’s back and over his rear, cupping it and giving it a good squeeze as he carefully dragged is teeth over Loki’s damp skin. The god moaned; his eyes fluttering closed as he tilted his head back, stretching his throat out to offer him more. Clint licked and pressed kisses along it as he continued to roll his hips into the god.

Loki whimpered and tried pushing himself further down onto him. Clint started pulling out again to prevent it and smiled as it earned him a small frustrated sigh. Loki reached down, setting his hand upon Barton’s lower back, and pulled at him. As much as he enjoyed what they were doing, he still wanted more and he felt horridly selfish for it.

Clint gripped his upper thigh and started moving a little faster. Loki moaned and tilted the archer’s head up to kiss him.

“Don’t,” Clint begged in between delectable kiss.

“Hm?” Loki hummed confused.

“Don’t beat yourself up,” he chided gently. “I love it when you’re selfish,” he whispered against Loki’s lips.

Loki moaned and gripped his shoulder with his free hand; his other arm was trapped under Clint’s head and was gabbing at the sheets; and the leg that was draped over Clint’s waist was tense and shaking. Clint’s other leg bumped up against his and they both moaned.

They moved against one another faster now, not up to the speed that they normally would, but it allowed for Clint to slide a little deeper and provided more friction than what they had before.

Loki dug his fingers into the archer’s skin and let slip a cry as his arousal and excitement built. It felt so good. The tightness; the heat; the sweat; the feel of so much of their skin touching; Clint’s hot breath on his neck and shoulder; Loki’s moans in his ear; his fingers in his hair; Nails scraping and digging in as they tried to hold one another closer.

Clint dragged his tongue from top part of Loki’s chest to the centre point of the bottom of his chin. He gently bit at it and Loki arched back with a loud gasp. He could feel the bond slowly lace itself together and was glad to find that Loki did not resist it. It felt wonderful when they connected.

He curled his toes as he felt him slide into him again. He wasn’t fully submerged, yet the heat and feel of him was indescribable. He bit his lip as he cursed. Lips and teeth danced upon his neck. His arms and legs shook as he desperately held onto him. He ran his hands along his leg and back. His skin was so soft and supple. His fingers bumped along the lines and he felt him bend his other leg back to try and push at the bed to get himself to rock faster. He had to move both of their hair from their faces and brush the beads of sweat aside before he could kiss him. He leaned his body into him more and moved his hips up harder. He gasped and then groaned, squeezing his eyes shut as each action brought pleasure rippling through him.

They were both so close they hadn’t even noticed until it was too late.

Loki threw his head back and cried out as he felt himself release. Clint groaned and bit at his throat as he held him close and burred himself deeply within him.

_Move_ … he pleaded breathlessly.

And Clint forced himself to keep thrusting into him. Loki moaned and furrowed is brows as he brought their foreheads together. They stared at one another: their faces sweaty, eyes tired, yet their smiles were bright and loving. Clint kissed him and Loki hummed in happy response.

He moved until he was no longer hard enough to and let Loki’s still spasming muscles push him out. They moaned and continued to kiss one another.

“That was hot,” he whispered and he began kissing along Loki’s jaw.

Loki’s hum of agreement turned into a small laugh. He lifted his head to help Clint in his quest to cover his throat in gentle kisses.

“We should do that again,”

Loki hummed and let his leg slide down Clint’s. The archer caught it and brought it back up to where it had been.

“I’m not done with that,” he breathed into Loki’s ear.

The god violently shivered and moaned. “No?” he asked.

“Nope,” he said and then pressed his lips to Loki’s collarbone and pulled back with a loud smacking kiss.

Loki felt his skin break into goose bumps again.

\-------------------------------------------------

Tony slammed an arm piece onto the table before he sat down.

“What’s wrong with you?” Natasha asked, not looking up from the recipe book she was flipping through. Steve and her had started putting it together and although it was still small, it had enough options to keep their group meals from becoming too regular.

“How much sex can two guys stand!?” he cried and rubbed his face, smearing grease all over it, obviously exhausted.

She smirked and shrugged, “Not sure. Aren’t you the genius about all of that though?”

“Women,” he corrected quickly. “I am a genius when it comes to sex and what women want there. The thing with dudes was a phase and I only ever topped.”

“Something tells me you bottomed,” she muttered to herself.

He glared at her for a moment before going back to complaining mode. “All they do is do it!”

“Yeah…” she sighed not really listening, yet tried to sound as though she cared.

“And you can’t even tell who is up and who is down! There is just the shouts and the bed noises and the words!”

“Yeah…”

“Doesn’t it bother you?”

“No…”

“So Clint choosing another man over you and then proceeding to have obnoxiously loud sex and parading around with the other guy in your face doesn’t make you see red?”

She looked up at him with a flat deadly stare. “I only see red when I look at _you_.”

“So it doesn’t bother you?” he tried again.

“No,”

“Not even a little?”

“No,” she said honestly.

“Not ever?”

“After the first time, yes, it bothered me, but Clint and I have talked things over about their relationship and Loki and I have talked things over about ours.” She gave a shrug and went back to looking through the book. “I realised my feelings for Clint were a different sort of love than what I thought, and only I could figure that out for myself. Besides I have _Stevvvve_ ,” she said; her voice dropping into a sensual purr.

Tony’s mouth pulled down into a frown and he blinked a bit disgusted. “Ew…”

She laughed. “Will it make it worse or help if I told you Clint and Loki also have a crush on Steve?”

“Double ew,”

“Now that I think about it, Loki is a shape shifter. I wonder if they haven’t already –”

“AH!!! LALALALALALA!!!” he cried getting up quickly and covered his ears. “GREAT TALK! LET’S DO THIS AGAIN NEVER!” he shouted and sacrificed a hand to pick up his suit piece.

“– tried magic with their sex! Maybe even pretended to be you?” she shouted to further tease him.

“LAAAA! LALALALALA!” he continued to yell as he hurried back to his workshop below.

Natasha laughed and turned a few pages back as she thought over which recipe to use.

“Hey,” Phil said coming in.

“Hello,” she said glancing up and then did a double take. He was in fitted jeans, sturdy dark brown dress boots, and a dark blue flannel shirt over a cream plain shirt. The flannel sleeves were rolled up to his elbows and both tops were tucked into his pants. “Uh, who are you?” she smiled jokingly.

“Oh, forgive me,” he said playing along and held out a hand. “I’m Phillip Coulson.”

“Natalia Romanova,” she smirked, “nice to meet you.”

“Delighted,” he kissed her hand and they both laughed as they dropped the act. “So what’s up? I heard yelling?”

“I was tormenting Tony. What’s up? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you in blue jeans before,” she said looking him over.

“Really?” he smiled and looked down at himself. “Huh, I guess we hadn’t met for my undercover cowboy mission.”

“Undercover cowboy?”

“Yeah, I don’t like talking much about it,” he admitted nervously embarrassed and then rubbed his hands together. “But uh, I’m going out to help Thor. He called saying he was coming back in today and I found a few more hits on the tracker that look even more promising.”

“I’m assuming he’ll be bringing her back here?”

“Yes, and the others,”

She bit her lip and made a face. “I still don’t think that’s such a good idea.”

“Selvig won’t let Jane out of his sight and Darcy wouldn’t stand to be left out of an adventure,” he shrugged with an apologetic expression that said, ‘what-are-you-going-to-do?’.

“But Loki,”

“I know,” he sighed, “but Thor is adamant about finding Jane.”

“He’s also adamant about keeping his secret project a hush-hush too.”

Phil closed his mouth tightly as he considered what to say to her next. “I don’t –”

“Don’t even,” she said gently as she raised her hand to stop him from speaking. “I know you know, just like everyone else, what’s going on with Loki. You’ve seen it happen first hand and you know what Thor will do to save the people he loves.”

“I do,” he said nodding his head sadly.

She looked him over, noting his expression and the way he rubbed at his hands. “You know where they are.”

He exhaled carefully and rubbed his mouth as he looked around worried. “Yeah…” he admitted in a hushed tone.

She felt her eyes widen and she couldn’t keep her shock from surfacing. “This whole time?”

“Yeah,”

“He’s been looking for weeks,” she sighed, sympathetic to both: Thor for just wanting to make amends with the woman he was in love with, and Phil for trying to prolong the peace in the household.

“I know,” he said, his whole being radiated with how guilty he felt about it.

She crossed her arms over her chest. “How long will it take to find them?”

“Well the problem is, the signal split up around Illinois. They could be anywhere from Canada to Florida now.”

“But?”

“But, there is a stronger underlying signal that radiates from all of them. I used an algorithm, put in all of the known locations and found a spot.”

“You’re going with him to make sure S.H.I.E.L.D. doesn’t find them.”

“Yeah, we…might be gone for a while.”

She nodded. “Just be careful, there have been two more strange villains popping up over the past few days.”

“We will,”

“Who else knows?”

He thought about it. “Nick, myself, Thor…you.”

“Wow, you just couldn’t keep from telling the whole world, huh?” she rolled her eyes and laughed.

“Yeah,” he said joining her.

“So I assume you’re telling me this to help keep it from the others as long as possible?”

“Just from Loki, just for a little while. Thor said he’s kind of touchy right now with the _thing_ ,” he motioned to his chest to indicate the darkness. “He’s worried Loki will feel as though he is being abandoned or go after him, especially if he discovers his secret project.”

“Yeah,” she nodded understandingly. “And we can’t have him go too far right now, not after what was said at the hearing and what we’ve seen on the streets.”

“Exactly,”

“I’ll make sure things stay sane around here.”

“Thanks. We shouldn’t be more than a few days,”

“I hope,”

Phil made a face, “Me too.”

Bruce walked in with his arms full of mail. “So, the UPS lady seems kind of upset,” he said and set the packages and envelopes down on the table.

“Why?” Natasha asked.

“Because of all the mail,”

“There are only four packages and some letters there,” Phil said frowning at the stuff scattered on the wooden surface. “I mean, one of those packages is huge, but –”

“But there is also more in the back of her truck. In fact, everything in her truck is for us,” Bruce said before leaving the room to bring in more mail.

“Is it wise to bring it all in?” Phil asked.

“There is a scanner at the gate that looks everything over,” Natasha explained as she followed to help Bruce; Phil hurrying behind her. “If Jarvis doesn’t see anything dangerous it opens to let them in.”

“Not all bombs are made out of metal.”

“Not all scanners are made by a paranoid genius who understands the need for safety involving the only thing he has left of his parents,” she pointed out.

Phil nodded his surrender to the argument and they found the lady and Bruce unloading more boxes and bins full of letters and smaller packages.

“Oh…дерьмо,” she whispered as she looked at it all.

“Yeah,” Phil said a little amazed. “Should I call the others?”

“Do you honestly want Clint down here? That man can’t even stop himself from opening the Christmas presents he wraps for others. And Tony?” she made a face indicating that his name alone was explanation enough as to why asking him to sort fan mail was a bad idea.

“Right,” he said nodded and then turned to hurry inside, “Just Steve then.”

“Yep,” she sighed and went forward to start carrying things in.

\-------------------------------------------------

Sam stood at his locker for a few moments before opening it.

“Lovely day for a run,” Clay said with a sigh as he came to lean against the one next to Sam’s.

“Is it?” he asked and started rummaging through his things for his suit to train in.

“Clear skies, low humidity…wanna go after I get off duty?”

“Not really,”

“Fine, coffee?” he asked still persistent in his calm and suave manner.

“No thank you,”

“Is it something I said?”

“No,” he replied and pulled the suit and special backpack from his locker. “Please excuse me,” Sam said shutting it and went to move past him.

Clay put a hand to the centre of Wilson’s chest to stop him. “At least take my number and think about it,” he whispered and tucked it into Sam’s breast pocket before leaving him.

Sam gave a frustrated sigh before heading to his bunk. He discreetly put the folded paper into a secure pocket on the inside of his suit and zipped it up. He shouldered the pack and headed to the training room. He hung out, lifted some weights, jogged for a bit, and tested the new wings before deciding he had been there long enough and left to return to his room. He locked himself in the bathroom and stripped, taking care to hide the paper in his hand before getting into the shower.

He turned the water on and opened the note.

_See Jane. See Jane run._

_See Dick. Dick sees Jane._

_Dick runs. Jane sees Dick running._

_Jane runs faster._

_Dick and Jane are running._

Sam refolded it and set it out of the way of the water before quickly washing himself. He covered himself in a towel, slipping the note back into his jacket breast pocket as he picked up his clothes and moved to lie in bed. He pulled the note out, rolled his eyes and acted as though he had forgotten about it until then. He crumpled it up and was about to toss it away when he stopped and pretended as though he were contemplating the idea. He sat on his bed flipping the closed crinkled note over and over for ten minutes before reaching for his phone and called Clay.

“Hey?” he said.

“Hey,” Clay answered.

“You still want to get some coffee?”

\-------------------------------------------------

“Here is another one for Tony,” Steve said tossing package to Thor from across the entrance way. The god had touched down not too long after the mail lady left and was thrilled at the idea of sorting gifts from their fans. The god caught the package and added it to the massive pile designated for the billionaire. “Look I know he’s like a genius and famous for it, but seriously?” Steve complained with a heavy sigh as he found another package and chucked it at Thor.

“I mean you have a nice pile going,” Natasha pointed out as she went through and dropped several letters into the bins around the room.

Steve looked at his pile and swallowed. “I’m scared to go through it.”

“Worried you’ll find another lacy thong?” she teased as she went past him and dumped the handful of letters into his letter bin. Steve set his jaw and looked down at his feet, not wanting to answer that. His face turned red and she laughed before going to give him a supportive kiss on the cheek. “Be lucky it wasn’t used.”

“I’m praying it wasn’t, I touched it,” he sighed rubbing his face.

“What the hell is all of this?” came Fury’s voice from the top of the stairs.

“Mail; wanna help sort?” Bruce said not looking up from the package he was looking over, trying to figure out who the recipient was.

“Hell no! I might catch something,”

“It’s all been scanned. We even had Jarvis go over it all again before we officially started sorting it.”

“This shit looks awful. I’m surprised Stark hasn’t come up here. Can’t he smell things like this?”

“I mentally scarred him earlier so he’s probably holed up in his workshop blaring rock music,” Natasha explained.

“Well I’m sure he deserved it,” Fury said coming down.

“Has there ever been a point when he hasn’t deserved it from me?” she smiled sweetly at the former director tossing a few into Clint’s letter bin, and then held out a tiny envelope addressed to “Ham”.

Fury took it and tore it opened. He looked it over and gave a grateful sigh.

“What is it?” Phil asked coming over.

“It’s from Charles,” he said and sat on the steps a little overwhelmed about how he felt over the news. “He says all of the children are safe. They are currently split up, but they are all on ships in neutral waters. Some of the loyal parents went into hiding with their children, and the ones that they could not reach have been notified that their child is safe, but won’t give them any more details.”

It was a breath of fresh air. They knew S.H.I.E.L.D. hadn’t found them, but that didn’t mean that they all weren’t still in danger.

“At least this way, the UN and other countries can help better protect them,” Phil said aloud and quickly scanned the letter. “New Zealand wouldn’t turn them down. They just passed laws protecting mutant-persons and others with superhuman abilities.”

“Yeah, but they’ve closed the borders to all outsiders,” Fury said.

“I’m sure they wouldn’t turn away boats full of displaced children and their caregivers for trying to keep them safe.”

“No, but we can’t just assume anything, not anymore,”

There was a noise from the speakers. “Excuse my interrupting,” JARVIS began, “However there seems to be a situation at 22 W 32nd Street. The police have described it as ‘Avenger worthy’ and are requesting immediate backup. Colonel Rhodes is also on the phone.”

“What are we looking at?” Steve said as they all began rushing toward their rooms to gear up.

“It appears there is large form of sand that is terrorising the area.”

“Again?” Banner asked.

“JARVIS, activate ‘Avengers-2’ Protocol,” said Natasha as she charged down the hall ahead of everyone. “I’ll take the call in my room.”

“Activating ‘Avengers-2’ Protocol,” he said and the lights all changed to red. “All Avengers, assemble to the nearest form of transportation. Confirmed threat in nearby area. All Avengers, assemble to the nearest form of transportation…”

\-------------------------------------------------

Sam saw Clay. He was leaning against the wall outside the door of the small Starbucks they had agreed to meet at. When he saw him, he straightened and put out his cigarette.

“Sam,” he nodded with a smile.

“Clay,” he nodded stiffly back.

Clay opened the door and held it for Sam before following him in. They ordered simple coffees and some pastries and headed up to the second floor. They chose a small corner that no one was really sitting near. Clay popped out a small device and scanned the area. It bleeped green and they sat a little easier.

“I’m going to be honest; I’m not sure how long I can keep up this fake relationship thing,” Sam began.

“Why not?” Clay smiled and leaned back. “It’s fun flirting.”

“I’m kind of a chick dude,” he mumbled a little embarrass, and then felt stupid for being embarrassed over that.

“A ‘Vagina Lover Only’ card member?” Quartermain chuckled. “Can’t say I don’t blame you. Must be simple and easy.”

“Not all of us are fortunate enough to be blessed with the stamina to hop the fence,” he smiled tightly.

Clay chuckled. “Well I’m glad you’re patient enough to endure our rouse.” He sat forward and pulled a note out from his inside jacket pocket. “I received this earlier,” he said and pushed it toward Sam.

He opened it. Inside was a beautifully drawn black and white picture of a small Native American female in a canoe. She was making her way down toward a large willow tree. “What is it?” he asked.

“Come on princess, don’t you know your Disney?” he asked ashamed. “It’s Pocahontas!”

Sam looked down at it again and frowned as he studied it. “Oh.”

“‘Oh’? That’s all it gets is an ‘oh’?”

“It’s a lovely drawing, who sent it?”

“Look kid, I know you’re new, but questions like that don’t make friends in this field.”

“I’m not new,” he said defensively.

“You’ve worked at S.H.I.E.L.D. a little less than a year and eight months, you’re new and will be for many more years to come. You may have a high clearance level, but that doesn’t mean you’re in the same sewing-circle as the senior agents.”

“Alright,” he put his hands up letting it go. “So you were sent a picture of Pocahontas. Anything else? A symbol? Some code?”

“That’s it,” he sighed and shook his head. “Sometimes the best secret messages are ones like this.”

“So who is it about?”

“Didn’t you get _my_ secret message?”

“Yeah, and?”

Clay sighed heavily and rubbed his face. “Am I going to have to spell it out for you? I thought you were one of Fury’s special projects?”

“I’m not a project, I’m a person,”

“I meant as in someone he was personally training to be his eye when he wasn’t here. Don’t you send him messages and stuff?”

“I don’t know, do I?” he challenged.

“Look kid, I’m not stupid, I’ve worked for this program since I was ten years old. I made ten-year before I was fifteen. I know more about S.H.I.E.L.D. than S.H.I.E.L.D. does and I know everything about you and what you’ve been doing. Who do you think recommended you to Fury? Who do you think told Hill to keep you on?”

Sam looked down at the paper. He didn’t feel right sitting with him now. There was just something about the agent that made him…he shook himself. “Okay. So this is information about Jane?”

“Bing! We have a winner,” he whispered and leaned back in his chair again.

“Dick is your code for S.H.I.E.L.D.?”

“Well, it could be, but specifically it’s my code for Pierce.”

“Head Councilman Pierce is after Jane?”

The device Quartermain had used to check if the area was secure binged and the light flashed orange.

“Beetlejuice is my favourite movie too,” he said calmly with a wink.

Sam folded the paper and put it into his breast pocket. “Yeah?” he said playing along. “What about Edward Scissorhands?”

“That’s a good movie too. I love Tim Burton,” he said with a smile and a nod. “Y’know who else I love? Tarantino.”

“Who?”

“Tarantino,” he sat up. “Quintin Tarantino. You don’t know who he is?”

“No,”

“Oh!” he huffed and held a hand to his heart. “I’m crossing over! Christ, how do you not know who he is? He’s only one of the greatest directors and writers that ever lived.”

“Is he dead?”

“Is he – is he dead!?” he gasped and shook his head. “Oh, please save me,” he whispered rubbing his forehead. “That’s it we’re having a movie fest! I can’t let you live without seeing his works. You’ve been deprived, but don’t worry, we’ll fix it.”

Sam laughed and realised it sounded a bit too force. He rubbed his neck a little nervously and stared down at his coffee.

The device beeped and flashed green again.

“We don’t have much time,” Clay whispered. “They’re closing in fast.”

“And this is the only clue we get?” he hissed becoming annoyed.

“Okay smartass, let’s do a little history lesson. Where was she from?”

“Virginia?”

“Where specifically?”

“Jamestown,”

“And what year did the movie come out?”

Sam blinked at him. “The 90s?”

Clay covered his face with his hands and took a deep breath. “95 – the movie came out in June on the 23rd, 1995.”

“Okay?”

“If you can’t figure this out, I’m telling Hill to send you back to basic training,”

Sam thought about it for a moment. “She’s heading to or is in Jamestown. The release date numbers aren’t coordinates, are they an address of some sort?”

“Yes,” he sighed relieved. “Now, I need you to discreetly tell Hill this, then I need you to loudly tell her that you received information that they are heading to Virginia.”

“What?” he snapped.

“Listen,” Clay hissed. “We not only have to keep ourselves safe in this job, we have to keep Maria safe. She is the most important person in this organisation because she is the only one who can deal with the council and the other shit. There are bigger and worse things going on right now and the least you can do is throw her a bone so that it doesn’t look like she’s purposely sabotaging things. If you give her that, then she can do what she can to make it look like she’s trying to bring her in.”

“But what if she has to actually bring her in?”

“Okay, well then we’ll figure it out from there, but right now our goal is to try and make it seem like we’re bringing Jane in.”

“I don’t like this,” he shook his head.

“Yeah? Well go back to the military,” Clay snapped. “You wanted this job, this job is your life and you have to treat it with care or else you may lose it or worse, make someone else lose theirs.”

Sam drank some of his coffee. “Y’know when I was working in the basement, all I had to do was type up and file away things. I wish I never left,” he admitted softly.

“None of us do,” Clay said kindly. “But you can’t change the world or help people by pushing pencils and making coffee runs.”

\-------------------------------------------------

Clint rolled out of the way and held up his bow as three large knives came at him. He spun it and deflected them off to the side. He made to roll away but the man falling at him was too close. He held up his hands and legs and allowed himself to be trapped under him.

The man laughed as he kicked Hawkeyes legs out of the way and crouched over him. “Little bird man…” he chuckled and forced Clint’s hands down on either side of his head. “Look what I’ve caught for my beautiful kitty…”

“Yeah?” he said and opened his hand to reveal one of the unattached arrowheads he’d grabbed. It went off and blasted smoke which smelled like rotten eggs into the man’s eyes.

He gagged and stumbled off of him. Clint got a good look at him then. He was tall, wearing a black jumpsuit with a shitty looking Zorro mask over his eyes. He had blonde hair and blue eyes and some weird white thing on his forehead. Clint couldn’t spare a moment to properly decipher what it was, for the next thing he knew the guy was pulling playing cards out.

To a normal person, they might have laughed and shrugged the threat off, but to Clint he’d seen enough shit in his life to know that someone skilled enough could make tissue paper a weapon. He rolled off of the ledge he had been on and let himself fall. He was about to twist and shoot a grappling arrow, but someone grabbed him instead. It knocked the wind out of him and he clung to them for dear life.

“I’ve got you,” Loki whispered as he ran for a bit along the side of the building before pushing off and landed on top of a bus. He set Clint down and looked him over. “Are you –”

“Yeah look out!” he said and pushed Loki to the side as he activated a button on his bow. A long bit of metal shot out and twisted around making a shield. It caught the cards and a large bo-shuriken. The throwing dart went through the metal a little more than the rest of the objects had and stabbed Clint’s arm. “Fuck!” he hissed and quickly popped the ruined metal shield off of his bow.

“Move!” Natasha shouted in warning.

Loki grabbed Clint’s arm and they ran just before the man landed right where Clint had been a moment before.

“He seems obsessed with you,” Steve commented and threw his shield out to deflect the woman who was currently trying to slash him with her claws.

“Yeah, the same can be said about your situation,” Barton quipped and jumped with Loki from bus to car to van and so on. They split up and joined back, both dodging and trying to shoot something to throw the man off.

Clint fired a net arrow just before climbing up onto the bus next to the flaming van he’d recklessly jumped onto. He heard more objects flung in his direction and they missed him by just a hair. He ran to the end and stopped short. There were no more cars to jump too, just a line of broken glass and flaming oil from the explosion the two masked villains had set off earlier. “Shit!” he hissed quickly regaining his balance and turned.

The bizarre man leapt at him, throwing the net right at Barton. He flung it to the side and dropped to his knees, rolling to the front of the bus as the man landed where Barton had been standing a second ago. He turned and sprang for Clint, who had a knife at the ready to defend himself, but was thrown off with a cry as acid green magic hit his side. Loki jumped onto the bus and kicked the man in the ribs.

He had been waiting for that though and was ready with a small knife, which he jabbed into Loki’s calf. The god cried out and kicked the man again, this time in the face before he stumbled a few feet away. Clint went over and punched him in the face hard enough that it successfully knocked him out.

The black masked woman saw this and hissed, much in the same manner a cat would. She punched Steve square in the face, dodging his off-balanced counter attack and promptly took off. Natasha went after her. She was about to catch up when the woman threw a small round object at her. Natasha knocked it to the side, but it activated. She froze and crumpled to the floor unexpectedly.

Steve staggered down and pressed his hands over his ears with a grimace.

“What is it?” Clint asked.

“Can’t you hear it?” Loki shouted covering his ears.

“Uh, no,” he said confused.

The god tried holding out his shaking hand to blast the object but the Hulk got there first and smashed it.

“Got it,” he said and held up a bag. Steve hurried to Natasha and rolled her over, pulling her up into his arms.

Loki went to take a step and then hissed and took his weight off of his injured leg.

Clint turned and hurried to his side to help keep him up. “I’ve got you,” he said.

“Let me down,” he begged and they carefully sat him next to the unconscious man. Clint wasted no time in tying him up and taking his weapons off of him. He was impressed and surprised at how many dart, spikes, cards, cables, and pencils he took off of the man.

“So the others escaped?” Loki asked as he examined his major injury.

“Yeah, I figured Sandman would to save his own skin, but I thought she’d at least say around for a bit.”

“Who was she?”

Clint shrugged. “Not sure, but she’s wearing the same shitty mask as this guy, so I’m assuming they’re friends or siblings or some shit.”

“All of that for some diamonds.” He shook his head unimpressed.

“People are stupid and selfish. I’ve seen a lot worse over food and guns, but nothing will bring people to kill like the need for water in a desert.”

“Are you both alright?” Steve asked coming over to them. Natasha was now leaning against him for support as she slowly recovered.

“Yes,” Loki called.

“No,” Clint shouted with a glare at him. “Loki’s badly injured.”

“I’m not _badly_ injured, it’s just a scratch,” he insisted.

“Okay Black Knight,” he said rolling his eyes and looked at his leg. “The knife is deep and the blade is serrated.”

“So?” he asked raising a brow defiantly.

“So taking it out is going to be more work than –”

Loki pulled it out without blinking or making a sound. Clint stared at it and then up at him.

“What the hell!” he shouted and hurried to press on the wound as it began bleeding more freely.

“There,” he said and put the knife into his inner breast pocket. “Not so hard.”

“I’m going to kill you,” he hissed and ripped off the sleeve of his black turtle neck to wrap around the god’s calf. “You probably tore your muscles and ligaments and shit.”

“It’ll heal,” he insisted.

Clint huffed and shook his head. “That’s not the point.”

“Then what is it?” he snapped.

“The point is, you are hurt, it is bad, it could be fixed easily at home, but you had to show off, and now it hurts like fucking hell.”

“It does not,” Loki lied.

“It does, I know because I can feel it,” Clint shot at him

The god closed his mouth and looked away guilty.

“I’ll carry you,” Natasha joked tiredly at Clint. “You big baby,” she added half-heartedly with a sigh.

“From the looks of it, I’m going to have to carry you,” he laughed.

Several men in uniform with automatic weapons started filing toward them.

“S.H.I.E.L.D.?” Loki asked nervously as he looked around for an escape route. Perhaps Barton was right, it had been unwise of him to have pulled the knife out so soon and in such a manner.

He shook his head. “Government military. Rhodey’s men.”

“Hey,” said man called coming over to them. “Are you all alright?”

“Yeah,” Steve nodded. “Just a little battered, but we’ll be fine.”

“Did they escape?”

He nodded. “All but one. He’s up there,” he nodded his head up to where Clint and Loki where sitting with the motionless tired up man.

“The girl ran off once she saw him down and Sandman scattered when he saw us. Hulk has the bag,” Natasha finished.

“Thank you, I really appreciate it,” Rhodes said gratefully as he came up to them.

“No problem,” Natasha said waving a hand. “Just remember, margarita maker for Christmas.”

“As promised as will be received,” he smiled. “Come on; let me give you all a ride home. My men will take him and the bag.”

Hulk dropped the bag off near the bus and helped Loki and Clint down. They all headed to the car waiting for them as the soldiers moved around them to perform their sweep and clean up duties. Clint pulled a pair of pants out of the bottom of his quiver and waited for Banner to revert back. He did, clutching at the pants he had originally been wearing as they became too big for him. He hurried to change as Steve and Clint blocked him from public’s sight and the moment the original pants hit the pavement they disintegrated.

“Just in time,” he sighed wiping his brow and climbed in. They safely returned to the mansion and offered Rhodes something to eat.

“I can’t really,” he apologised. “I have to make sure everything is finished. By the way, did Tony ever show up to the fight?” he asked concerned.

“No,” Natasha said bitterly and opened the fridge.

“I’m going to check the lab real fast, excuse me,” he said and left.

Steve had the same concern on his face. He looked at Natasha. “Don’t you think that’s odd?”

“What that he didn’t show up? Not really,” she shrugged. “I’m sure he just locked himself down there to sulk or something.”

“But you initiated an Avengers protocol. Jarvis would have to tell him.”

“He kind of controls the AI too,”

“Guys!” James called running back in. “Tony’s gone.”

“What!?” Everyone shouted.

“Yeah, what!?” Tony gasped from behind them. They all turned to look at him, some glaring, some just patiently watching, and poor Bruce trying to keep things together. “Uh,” he said and looked around at them. “Hi?” he waved, his damaged suit making a creaking noise as he did so.

“Where did you go?” Natasha demanded going over to him.

“Out,”

“Out and left us to deal with –” she stopped when he held up a small jar of sand before her face.

“It’s a gift,” he smiled and shook it a bit. “Sand from Sandman.”

“How is that a gift?” Rhodey sighed annoyed with his friend.

“Um, well now that I have a piece of his actual body, I can test it, put it into Jarvis’s systems, and make it easier to track him.”

“Oh I love you!” Natasha gushed and hugged Tony. She pulled back and took the jar, cackling as she shook it a bit; the sand inside seemed to move around, fearfully at first and then in an aggravated manner.

“What happened to all of you?” he asked and pointed out Loki’s wrapped up leg.

“The other two used physical force and sharp objects in combat,” Bruce answered. “One is in custody and the other ran away. It’s handled.”

“Oh,” he said. “Well, go us. When’s dinner?”

“I’ll start on it after I change,” Steve said. “What does everyone want?”

“Anything,” Bruce and Loki said.

“Mexican,” Natasha said at the same time Clint shouted “Chinese!” The two glared at each other before looking away.

“Okay, I’ll figure something out,” Steve promised and left.

“I have to get back,” Rhodes said. “It was nice seeing you all, thank you so much for your help.”

“You’ll keep us updated about the guy right?” Bruce said.

“As much as I can,” he promised and waved. “Bye everyone.”

They spoke their farewells and Tony followed his friend out.

“Come on,” Clint said pulling Loki up from the chair he was sitting in.

The god stood and then gave a shout as Clint threw him over his shoulder. “CLINTON!”

“What?” he asked.

“Unhand me!”

“You’re leg is bad,”

“You are going to hurt yourself,”

“You’re not as heavy as you think you are,” he replied and started moving to the foyer.

“I’ll be right up with a medical kit,” Bruce called after them.

“I can walk!” Loki insisted stubbornly.

“Okay,” he said and started up the stairs.

Loki huffed. _Oh, he is going to get it…_ he fumed.

On their way up the stairs, Thor started coming down.

“Greetings,” he said with a smile.

“Hey,” Clint nodded.

“How faired the battle?”

“It was decent. Some dude with a weird white dot on his forehead had great aim and used pretty much anything he could find to throw at us.”

“Interesting,” Thor mused. “Is this prelude to an after-battle victory?” he inquired with a small suggestive smile and gestured to Loki, who had his hands on Clint’s lower back to help keep his head somewhat up. He had a sour expression on his face.

“Nope, Loki got hurt so I’m taking him in for care.”

“I am perfectly fine and more than capable of walking on my own,” he said and then glared at his brother as he laughed while passing them. “Find this amusing?” he shot at him.

“Highly,” he admitted with a wide smile as he turned to wave farewell.

“I’ll show you both!” Loki vowed in a spiteful hiss.

Clint smirked and reached a hand up to slap his ass. Loki gave a small huff of surprise as he jumped a bit. He growled and fisted the bottom of Clint’s vest, glaring at the floor as they made their way down the hall to the bedroom.

The archer opened the door and entered. He tossed Loki onto the bed and made sure he moved fast enough out of the way of his kicking and reaching range. The god huffed as he attempted to get up and then hissed and froze as the pain from his injury shot up his leg. He fell back onto the bed and covered his face with his hands.

Clint shook his head knowingly and went to the bathroom to wet a washcloth and grab some towels to keep the blood from getting all over the sheets. He came back and helped the god remove his boots and armour. Loki hissed and grimaced as his leg was jostled around in the process. They decided removing his pants to be a better option than trying to roll the tight leather, or black jeans when Loki transformed it to its original state, up.

There was a knock on the door.

“Come in,” Clint called as he started wiping the blood from Loki, still carefully holding his torn sleeve to the wound.

Banner opened the door. “I brought the stuff and some small things if the damage is a lot.”

“It isn’t,” Loki proudly and stubbornly stated.

Clint gently pushed at a spot near the deep ugly looking cut. Loki cried out and shifted a bit. “Yep, not bad at all,” he agreed.

Loki lightly hit his shoulder angrily and sighed most annoyed.

Bruce came over and tucked an extra towel under his leg to catch any blood. He motioned for Clint to peel the bloody sleeve back and looked at it. “Your body can heal this right?” he asked putting his glasses on.

“Yes, it will just take some time,” he replied frowning down at it. He really oughtn’t to have pulled the knife from his leg. He caught Clint’s victorious smug look from the corner of his vision and threw a glare in his direction.

“I’m going to push at it, okay?” Bruce said pulling some rubber gloves on.

Loki nodded and braced himself for the pain. Banner was as careful as he could be as he gently opened the wound a little, to assess how deep it was, and then pushed around it. The god let out a frustratingly painful growl and lay back, covering his eyes with his arm, his other hand fisting the bed.

Clint took it and kissed his knuckles supportively. “What’s the verdict doc?”

“It’s not too deep, but the way the knife was removed was pretty traumatic to the muscles. In a normal person, I’d say surgery to repair the damage immediately, but I can see his body is already starting to heal it. Slowly, but it’s doing it. You’re not using magic are you?”

“No, I would tire myself out,” he admitted somewhat ashamed.

“Just curious,” Bruce said, to clarify his reason for asking, and then turned to the medical kit he brought. He wiped his bloody fingers on the towel and pulled out a small bottle of peroxide. “It’s pretty incredible,” he commented as he turned Loki’s leg just a little and carefully poured a little at a time onto the cut. It bubbled and fizzed. Loki’s body tensed and he grunted.

“Hang in there, I know it sucks but it’s cleaning it,” Clint promised and climbed onto the bed to sit next to Loki. He resituated how they held hands and used his other to brush some hair from Loki’s forehead. “Hey, it’s okay. Breathe.”

Loki let out a long careful exhale that turned into a groan of pain. Banner recapped the bottle and used a little gauze to wipe the excess from the area.

“What’s incredible?” Loki asked through clinched teeth. Whatever had been poured onto the wound hurt far more than the actual stabbing had. He would have rather they chopped his leg off.

“If you were a human your leg would still be bleeding, now there’s hardly anything. I also watched as your muscles knitted back together. It was slow, like I said, but it still is,” he shook his head, “It’s amazing.” He was trying very hard to keep his excitement down.

_Nerd,_ Clint thought.

_Be kind,_ Loki begged and then swallowed down a noise as Bruce put a wade of sterile gauze to it. Clint helped hold it with his free hand so that Banner could tape and wrap it.

“Do you need something for pain?” he asked.

Loki thought about it, glancing down at the wound, and then shook his head quickly.

“I don’t have to inject you,” he promised. “I can give you a pill.”

Loki thought again and moved his toes a bit. Pain shot up his leg and he reconsidered it. He nodded biting down on his lips.

Banner cleaned up his area and went into the bathroom to toss the packaging and his gloves away before washing his hands. He came back and looked for the bottle, taking out a few pills before recapping it. He gave them over to the god.

“These will help take the edge off. They’ll last for a few hours, I think by then your pain will have gone away.”

“Thank you,” Loki said and swallowed them dry. Clint reached for a glass of water he had left that morning on the side table and offered it to him. Loki took it and drained it. “Thank you both very much.”

“It’s nothing, sorry you were hurt,” Bruce said packing the kit up.

“Let’s get you settled, and then we’ll watch a movie. Sound good?” Clint said wiping up the remaining bit of blood from Loki’s leg.

Loki’s hand snapped out and pushed at the spot on Clint’s right arm where the shuriken had stabbed him.

The archer pulled his arm back and held it with a loud surprised noise.

“What?” Bruce asked looking between them a bit concerned.

“Clint was stabbed as well,” Loki said in a tone that sounded more like a little child tattling to their parent than a concerned boyfriend.

“No I wasn’t,” he lied too quickly.

Bruce straightened and put his hands on his hips, giving him that ‘look’. Clint avoided his gaze.

“Let me see your arm.”

“It’s fine,”

“Your arm,” he insisted with a more forceful and commanding paternal tone.

Clint held out his left arm.

“The other arm,”

Clint held out his right arm.

Bruce looked it over and found the spot. “Shirt off,” he sighed.

Clint complied and then held out his arm again as Bruce pulled on a new pair of gloves.

He looked it over. “It’d be stupid to put one stitch in there, so I’ll use my special sealing solution. It’s still pretty deep,” he concluded as he cleaned the blood away. Banner then poured peroxide over it, catching the extra on a towel he held under his arm. Clint hissed and bit his knuckles, glaring at Loki, yet deep down inside he was secretly thanking him.

“We’re lucky he wasn’t smart enough to lace his weapons,” Bruce commented as he dabbed a bit of a thick gooey clear blue-tinted substance onto wound on Clint’s arm.

“How do you know that?” Barton asked.

“I can smell something like that,” he explained. “I also can smell blood. I would have smelled yours if Loki’s wasn’t so bad.”

“Okay Dracula,” he muttered.

Bruce gave him a smile before he began cleaning up his stuff and repacking his kit again. “Anything else?”

“Nope,” the two said shaking their heads.

“Okay, well I suggest lots of rest. No strenuous activities for at least a day. The lying in bed movie watching plan sounds like a good plan for you both.”

“Hey, this stuff?” Clint asked pointing to the cold slimy stuff Banner had put on his arm.

“Leave it to dry, it’ll be fine and fall off when the wound is healed,” he nodded. “Any other questions?”

“No,” Loki sighed and pushed himself to sit up. He used his hands as well as Bruce and Clint’s help to lay the correct way on the bed and settle under the covers. Barton rolled up and tossed the bloody towels and clothes into the laundry basket.

“I’ll let you both know when dinner is finished,” Bruce promised and waved as he left the room.

The moment the door was closed, Loki whipped off his tunic, undershirt, and used his magic to pull off his underwear. He sighed gratefully and snuggled down into the mound of pillows Clint had stuffed behind him.

The archer chuckled and started taking off the rest of his clothes. “Feel better?”

“Yes,” he sighed closing his eyes for a moment.

Clint used the bathroom and checked the shiny clear goopy stuff, to see if it was still in place – and it was, before climbing into bed. He picked up the remote and activated the projector screen to come down from the ceiling. “What movie are you interested in?”

“Surprise me,” Loki muttered.

Clint knew the god was due to pass out any second. He chose one of the older action movies he found on a free channel and scooted closer to Loki. The god groaned as his leg was jostled around, yet moved closer to Clint. Loki set his head and one of his hands upon the archer’s chest and stuffed his other under his back.

“What is this?” he asked, his eyes cracked just enough to watch a dog walk into a shop with something in it’s tiny mouth. It hurried out and the whole store blew. It started off a chain reaction of other odd looking people, in striped pants and top hates, to blow up and terrorize stories and civilians. Two of them ran into an odd looking fellow in a black cowl with horns on the top. He knocked their heads together and thus began a fight scene the odd characters did not win.

“It’s _Batman Returns_.”

“Who is he?”

“Batman,”

“And he has returned?” Loki smirked.

Clint chuckled. “Yeah, it’s a long story, but basically the villain in this one is this deformed guy that looks like a penguin, hence his name, and he runs the Red Triangle Circus Gang. They terrorise Gotham City. The Penguin blackmails this dude to try and get something, I forget exactly what, but the dude ends up using Penguin to help move along his evil scheme. It’s something highly illegal that will make him big bucks but the current mayor won’t let him do –”

“Sh,” Loki said and put a finger to Clint’s lips. “I love her attire,” he said referring to the woman in white with the little dog from earlier.

“Yeah?” he smiled. “Going to dress up as her for Halloween?”

“I may,” he joked.

“Well, wait until you see Catwoman,” he chuckled. “I wouldn’t object to that.”

Loki playfully hit his chest and settled back to the position he had been in before and they continued to watch the movie.

“Are you upset that I informed Bruce of your wound?” he asked after a time.

“No,” Clint said. “I had actually forgotten about it. I’m glad you said something.” He kissed Loki’s forehead to help reassure him his words were true.

The god sighed and settled down.

Several minutes later Clint pointed toward the screen, “This is one of my favourite parts,” he said, “See –” he stopped as he looked down and realised Loki was fast asleep. He picked up the remote and turned the volume down so that it wouldn’t wake the god. “Jarvis,” Clint said softly.

“Yes sir?” he said, his volume lowered to match Clint’s.

“Would you please turn the lights out?”

“Not a problem sir. Anything else?” he asked as the lights slowly dimmed and then shut off.

“No,” Clint shook his head. “Thank you though.”

Loki shifted a little and moaned, yet stayed asleep.

Clint smiled down at him and gently pressed his lips to his head. “You’re adorable,” he whispered and went back to watching the ending of the film.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> p.s. this isn't a requirement, it's completely optional and I will not hold it against you (and you shouldn't either) if you do this or not, but I'm up for a big audition this weekend. I'm super nervous about it, so if you wouldn't mind saying like a prayer, or send good vibes, or whatever you do / believe in, I'd appreciate it. And like I said you don't have to it's completely fine.
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> **Regardless, I hope you all have a great week!**


	41. Chapter 41

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **GREAT NEWS!:** I got the job! It's seasonal, so it's not forever. It's just until Halloween is over, but still! I'm super excited!!!  
>  **Downside:** I've been and will be _SUPER_ busy until the end of October so...I'll try and hurry back.
> 
>  
> 
> I don't own anything. All mistakes are my own. Please enjoy reading and thank you so much for being so very patient with me. I really appreciate and love you all!

\----------------------41----------------------

Loki rolled over in place onto his stomach and moaned a little as he started to wake. A heavy arm was draped over his lower half and the sun was soft and warm on his skin. He turned his head and found Clint’s turned toward him. He was also lying on his stomach, only his face was smooshed awkwardly into a pillow. His mouth was slightly parted as small snores slipped out of it, his other arm was stuffed under the pillow his head rested upon, and his legs were spread out a little too far toward Loki’s side of the bed.

The god stretched and moaned again. Clint shifted, his arm curling around Loki’s body, pulling him closer. He chuckled and moved to help Clint in this task.

Barton closed his mouth and hummed sleepily before stilling.

Loki gazed at him for a moment and then brushed some hair from Clint’s forehead. The archer’s face twitched a little. He traced his fingers down the side of his face. Clint tilted it a little away. Loki smiled and then stuck his finger near Clint’s nose.

“No!” he growled and buried his face into the pillow.

“As much as I adore being held, you must let me up,” Loki laughed.

“No…” he growled again, his voice muffled by fabric and stuffing.

“I must use the facilities,” Loki protested and pushed at Clint’s arm a bit.

“No…”

“Clint, please.” He felt the archer’s hold slacken and he hurried to the edge of the bed. He carefully tested his foot on the ground and found his injury bearable to walk on. He limped a little to the bathroom and relieved himself. After washing his hands and making a face at having fallen asleep without tying back his hair, he returned to find Clint hadn’t moved. The moment he climbed back into bed, he was pulled right back to the archer’s side.

“Good morning,” he smiled and ran his fingers through Clint’s hair.

Clint shifted a little as his skin slowly broke out into goose bumps. “Morning…” he mumbled and turned his head to the side so that he could crack his eyes and look upon the god.

“Did you sleep well?”

He nodded his head a tiny bit as his eyes closed again. “You?” he managed to puff out.

“Yes, thank you. How was the movie?”

“Good,”

“Did the man of bats live happily ever after with the feline lady?” he asked tracing his fingertips along the shell of the archer’s ear. Clint made a small humming noise in response. As though he were trying to speak yet couldn’t find the energy to. “What was that darling?”

“You’ll have to watch it,” he mumbled slowly, his body having to use a great deal of energy and will to force the soft sentence out.

Loki hummed and leaned down to kiss at the side of his face.

Clint cleared his sleep-dry throat and asked, “How’s your leg?”

“Much better,”

“I saw you limp,”

“It is still tender,” he sighed and chuckled when Barton’s hand trace down his body to pull his leg around him.

“We missed dinner,” he said shifting to lie on his side and face the god. “Banner came in to check on you.”

“Did he?”

“Mhm,”

“How kind,”

“Yeah, he’s like that,” he sighed and opened his eyes a bit more this time.

“Hello,” Loki said holding the sides of Clint’s face as they looked at one another.

He grunted and closed his eyes before burying his face into the god’s shoulder. Loki laughed and wrapped his arms around him. “Why such a face and greeting?”

“I was up late,” he grumbled pitifully.

“Was your movie long?” he chuckled.

“Yeah,” he sighed and pulled his head back so that he could rub at his face. “You could say that.”

Loki’s joking mood dissipated as he felt something. Worry. Exhaustion. Strain. He’s smile fell as he realised why the archer was so tired. “You stayed up to watch over me?” he asked in equal parts disbelief and admiration.

Clint shrugged nonchalantly, trying to play it off.

“All night?”

He shrugged again and settled back ready to fall asleep.

“You didn’t have too,” Loki said, a small smile playing on his lips. He was embarrassed, but in a pleased and shy sort of fashion. He also felt a little guilty, but he pushed it back; for he knew if he entertained that feeling, it would only upset the archer. Besides, he was much too flattered to want to feel guilty.

“You were injured. I wanted to make sure you had everything you needed.”

“I would have informed you,”

“No you wouldn’t have. You would have let me sleep and tried to do anything and everything on your own, because you’re stubborn like that.”

Loki opened his mouth to retort yet found Barton’s words to be all too true. He shut his mouth and sighed. “You win.”

Clint chuckled a little and shifted his legs into a more comfortable position. “Sleep more,” he said.

“I’m wide awake.”

“Then read, but stay resting,”

“I suppose it has nothing to do with my injury and more that you do not desire to lose my presence and warmth?”

“It’s a bit of both,” he confessed with a small yawn.

Loki chuckled and summoned a book. He opened it and began reading.

\-------------------------------------------------

He jerked awake and quickly rolled over. He found himself alone and his book set on his nightstand. All of the covers were snuggly wrapped around him and the room was still and silent. He closed his eyes and lay there for a few moments before stretching slowly and then feeling blindly around on the bed for Clint. It was cold apart from the space he was laying upon. Clint hadn’t been there for a while.

Loki stretched again, this time a little more awake, and sat up with a sigh. His leg was still sore, yet he knew it was almost completely healed. Only bruises and a small scab remained and would for a short while longer.

He sensed movement behind the door. It opened and Clint entered carrying a tray.

“Good morning,” he smiled.

“From the position of the sun and the shift of the realm, the more appropriate greeting would be ‘afternoon’.”

“Okay Mr. Smartass,” he smiled and carefully climbed into bed. He set the tray down across Loki’s lap and kissed him. “I’ve brought you a ‘get well’ offering this lovely _afternoon_.”

Loki chuckled and looked down at the delicious looking meal. There were small flaky croissant rolls dusted with sugar, some yoghurt, slices of peaches, orangey-red juice in a glass, some water, some tea, a sliced toasted bagel with cream cheese, and a small little paper cup with some pills.

“Lovely,” he said gesturing to the paper cup.

“Banner said to take them if you need them, you don’t have too,” Clint said rolling his eyes. “Hell I’ll take them.”

“What are they?”

“Pain killers; the lower dose kind. Just something to take the edge off if your leg was still feeling blah.”

“Well I am very appreciative,” he smiled and leaned his face forward for a kiss. Clint pretended to be grumpy from having been corrected just moments before, but still give in. Loki knew better and he chuckled as they pulled away. “Will you be joining me or is this a solo meal?”

“I’ll keep you company. Natasha stuffed me with bagels and peaches before I came up here.”

“I’m sure you were very resistant to it all,” he joked.

“Fought her tooth and nail,” he winked at him with a winningly lovely smile.

Loki grinned down at his meal, too shy to look at the archer in that moment. He started in on his food and found he couldn’t stop. The energy his body was using to heal his wound and keep the darkness at bay demanded a great amount of fuel and he hadn’t eaten dinner yesterday. He quickly cleaned his plates and bowls, drank the water and juice and leaned back with a satisfied sigh as he cradled his tea.

“Feel better?” Clint asked amused.

“Much,” he nodded contently.

“Need more?”

“Not at this moment, thank you,” he sighed again.

“How’s your leg?”

Loki reached down to gently touch it and made a face. “Still sore.”

“Banner said he could help change the dressing if you wanted. He’s just in his lab running some tests.”

“I wouldn’t want to disturb him over so small a thing,”

“He said it’s just mundane stuff. Most of it needs to culture or something. He’s basically just sitting around doing crosswords until it’s done and it takes a while.”

Loki laughed. “Then we shall have to invite him up in a bit.”

“Yeah?” he grinned excitedly.

“Yes,” he said.

“Are you finished?” he gestured to the tray. Loki nodded and he moved it to the floor to take up the spot it had been at before. “So, I was wondering, if you were feeling up to it, and since everyone collectively put you on inactive duty until your leg gets better, do you want to go out today and do something fun on the town?”

Loki grinned and felt heat come to blossom over his face. “I’d love to.”

“We don’t have to walk a lot or go very far if you don’t want to,”

“I’d love to see the park,” he admitted. “We only ventured through it that one night and then we were too busy fighting the last time to properly see anything.”

“Of course, yeah. We can go see Central Park,”

“Thank you,” he said.

“Anything for you,” he smiled.

Loki blushed and turned his face away. Clint leaned in to steal a kiss on his cheek before getting up to take the tray back down. Loki touched the spot. It tingled. His heart skipped a beat and he quickly finished his tea. He sat up and tested his leg again. It still hurt, yet his limp wasn’t as bad as it had been earlier. He quickly readied and partially dressed, as he waited for Clint to return. He sat on the edge of the bed with his pants folded neatly next to him. He figured the reason why it was taking so long was that Clint had gone to get Bruce, and he was right. The two entered after a small knock.

“Hey,” Bruce said coming into the room. He put his glasses on and set the med kit on the bed next to Loki. “Let’s see how it looks,” he said a bit nervously and rubbed his hands together.

“It’s not as painful as yesterday,” Loki said as he watched Bruce carefully unwrap his calf. Sure enough, there was a freshly sealed cut with a hardening scab and quite a nasty bruise around the area.

He smiled putting on some gloves, “Well, I don’t see infection, so that’s good.” He used a wet sanitizing wipe to clean off the rest of the dried blood and carefully cleaned the forming scab. “It wouldn’t surprise me if this was all better by tomorrow, but I still want you to take it easy,” he warned. “Keep this covered, keep it just moist enough to encourage –”

“Cell regrowth and prevent scaring,” Loki nodded, knowing the standard wound protocol from his mother’s teachings.

“Sorry,” said Bruce a touch more nervous than before. “I forget other people know how to d–”

“No do not apologise,” Loki interjected. “It was rude of me to interrupt you, just as I have done again,” he tittered and looked away embarrassed.

“No it’s fine,” he reassured and put some Neosporin on it with a Q-tip. “Do you need the painkillers?”

“I’m not certain,” he shrugged honestly.

“We’re planning on going out and walking for a bit today,” Clint said. “Maybe it would be best to take them along just in case?”

“I recommend that,” Bruce agreed. “Where are you both heading; if you’ll allow me to be so nosy?”

“Central Park,” Loki said happily. “I want to properly see it in the day when I am not fighting strange mortals in silly costumes.”

“Well don’t forget to take your communicators, just in case you run into any of those,” Bruce laughed. “And some water.”

“We will, mom,” Clint said going to the closet to grab their shoes and some socks.

Bruce rolled his eyes. “You and Tony both,” he muttered as he placed and taped new gauze over the wound. “This should stay, but I’ll leave some stuff so you can take it with you just in case it comes off on your walk. Wear pants that aren’t tight so they won’t rub against this.”

“Alright,” Loki nodded. “Thank you so very much.”

“It’s nothing,” Bruce shrugged it off as he removed his gloves and pulled out extra bandaging things and a small roll of medical tape.

“It means a great deal to me, and I know to Clint as well,”

“It’s my job, and I enjoy helping people,” Bruce said softly. “That’s why I do it.”

“The healers of Asgard would be very envious of your skills and dedication.”

Banner laughed. “I highly doubt that, but I appreciate the flattering compliment.”

“I mean it,” Loki whispered looking his bandaged calf over. “I never say something unless it’s worth my time to say it.”

Bruce looked at him for a moment and then bowed his head modestly. “I humbly accept it and embarrassingly ask for your forgiveness over my refusal of it at first.”

“All is well,” Loki reassured.

Bruce gave him a small smile and then started sorting and pulling objects from the medical kit. “Okay, here are three sets of bandages, a small thing of tape, a tube of Neosporin, some sealed Q-tips, and a packet of gauze pads.”

“Thanks,” Clint said returning and tossed their shoes down near the bed.

“No problem. Let me know if it gets worse or better. I’m also leaving another set of painkillers. They also act as a muscle relaxant in case the walking causes cramping.”

“Well if that happens I’ll just throw him over my shoulder and take him home,” Clint smiled.

“No you won’t,” Loki said darkly with a glare to match his tone.

Bruce laughed and picked up his kit and the wrapped up trash. “I’ll see you both later. Have a great walk.”

“Thank you, enjoy your science experiments,” Loki waved. He carefully stood from the bed and finished dressing. Clint put some of the extra medical stuff in his inner coat pocket and they headed down to the kitchen to grab some water bottles before going out.

“This is exciting,” Loki said as he hurried down the street in a giddy manner. He tried hard to ignore the ache in his calf as he pulled Clint along behind him.

“I’m glad to see you smile,” he laughed.

Loki stopped and sniffed the air. “What is that smell?” he asked, his mouth watering so much that for a second he was afraid he was going to drool on himself.

Clint sniffed and looked around. “A street vender,” he said pointing the source out.

Loki looked the curious cart over. A little old lady stood, wrapped in layers of clothes, holding out sticks with large grilled chunks of meat, trying to tempt the people that passed her. They ignored her witty comments and offerings, turning their collars up and keeping their heads down. Several put in headphones or pretended to receive a phone call. “Like the market,” he mused to himself as he remembered the same thing occurring in Asgard’s market place.

“I guess,” Clint nodded and thought about a few of the trips to India and Morocco he had taken. The streets were much more crowded and the people a little friendlier, yet the smell of food and people were just as thick in the air as New York’s food and industrial smell.

Loki decided his excitement of seeing the park outweighed his interest in food, so he gently tugged on Clint’s sleeve and they moved along.

It did not take them too long to get to the park. Once inside, they ambled along the paths. Loki excitedly pointed out the twisted tree shapes and squirrels as they scurried up and down the weathered trunks, readying for winter. They chatted and laughed as the leaves fell around them.

Loki stopped suddenly and pushed at the dark flimsy metal mesh fence that went around parts of the park. “What is this for?”

“To keep people from stepping on certain parts I guess?” he shrugged and then pointed to his left. “There’s a skating rink.”

Loki lost interest in the ugly tiny fencing and pulled Clint along to see what he had pointed out. He curiously watched as people zipped, spun, glided and slipped around on the ice. There were orange traffic cones on one part and several small children being guided through them. “Skating?” he asked curiously.

“Yeah, it’s an activity. People mostly do it in the colder months, but there are some buildings in warmer places that still let people –”

“Do you skate?”

“I –” Clint stopped and looked away. “No, not really.”

Loki knew he wasn’t being told the whole truth, yet he left it alone. He slipped his hand properly into Clint’s and they moved along. They walked without purpose, just taking in the area around them. Even with the leaves nearly gone off the trees and the flowers long dead and gone Central Park was still beautiful. They hurried along bridges and joked about the squirrels and pigeons for a time. Then something caught Loki’s eye.

“Oh!” he said and hurried ahead of Clint. “What is this?” he asked full of curious child-like wonder and awe as he reached out to touch a large dark stone formation.

“Bedrock,” Clint said catching up to him.

“It’s beautiful,” he smiled and put both hands upon it. “Oh my…” he whispered and looked it over with wide eyes. “Do you feel it?” he asked looking at him over his shoulder excitedly.

“Feel what?”

“The _power_ ,” he breathed and went back to looking the rock over in a hungry and calculating manner. “I can’t believe I never felt it before. It’s so…oh if I’d known this was here I would have set up base here instead of Stark’s to take over the city!”

Clint laughed. “Seriously?”

“There is such pure and raw power within this stone,” he said and looked up. There was a little girl squatting on it. She stared down at them, her head tilted in a curiously thoughtful manner. Loki tilted his opposite hers. She laughed at him. Her mother came up and lifted her quickly away, obviously distrustful of all strangers by the glare on her pointed cold face.

Loki felt as though he had been stabbed in the heart. The little girl had been so small and delicate looking, with her birdlike bone structure, golden-blonde hair, and large bright blue eyes. She reminded him of his little Narvia and he felt horridly homesick. He almost laughed aloud bitterly. Homesick, what a cruel joke indeed. He had no home.

He looked at Clint, who was standing near him and staring off into the distance at something high up in a tree near them. Clint was his home. As odd as that sounded to Loki, and probably to anyone he told, it made perfect sense. Clint was his centre, his point to navigate and return to, his laughter, his frustration, his safety, his serenity…

“There,” Clint said pointing to a tree. “See it?”

Loki looked and found a small colourful bird. It was a steely-blue with bright yellow feathers just under its vibrant red beak. It’s had olive green feathers on the top of it’s head, rusty orange-red ones that flowed down into a small patch of creamy ones on it’s belly. It was very delicate and beautiful looking as it sat there.

“It’s a Chinese nightingale,” Clint said in disbelief. “They’re not native here. Someone must have lost him.”

“Indeed,” Loki whispered and felt something from the bird. It was an energy he didn’t particularly enjoy and when the bird opened his mouth to sing it sent a dreading chill along Loki’s spine. He stood his ground and quickly pulled up a wall between him and Clint to prevent the darkness from disturbing the archer’s enjoyment of the creature.

The darkness chuckled and lazily slithered along his body. _How sweet it cries…_ it purred to him. _How lonely he is…so far from home…so lost, so scared, so helpless…_

Loki swallowed and closed his eyes. The bird’s song morphed into something unnatural and he swayed a touch dizzily. He felt Clint put a hand to his shoulder. Almost immediately the bird’s song stopped. He looked at him.

“You okay?” he asked concerned.

Loki looked around. The bird was no longer in sight.

“Loki?”

“Yes,” he nodded. “I just need to sit. I over worked myself,” he explained and touched his head. “Healing this wound has taken more energy than I anticipated.”

“I can find us some food if you want?” he offered and put an arm around his waist to help support him.

“Nothing heavy…” he whispered and put a hand flat to his forehead. Everything was starting to spin and he felt as though he were going to be sick.

Clint put Loki’s other arm around his shoulders and hurried him to one of the benches. He set Loki down and opened a water bottle. “Drink,” he gently instructed. Loki did, very slowly. “Okay, I’m not going very far. I want you to sit here and rest. Okay?”

Loki nodded and leaned back on the bench. He felt too hot. He started pulling off his jacket.

“I want you to take these,” he said pulling out the plastic bag he’d put the pills into. He gave the god two of them.

“I’ll fall asleep,” he whispered, barely able to keep his eyes opened now.

“I’ll run real fast,” he promised and pressed a kiss to Loki’s forehead. “If you need me, tell me, okay?”

Loki nodded and swallowed, his throat feeling horridly dry. He took another drink of water as Clint sprinted away and then threw back the pills. He waited for what felt like an eternity, his body eventually calming down as the medicine kicked in. Clint came running back with a paper bag. Loki realised that he’d only been gone maybe fifteen minutes.

“Traffic,” he panted as he held the bag out. “This good?” he asked.

Loki carefully took it and looked inside. There were four skewers of grilled chicken, a wrapped up cylinder of foil, and a giant twisted warm pieces of bread dusted with large grains of salt. There was also a tub of warm yellowy liquid.

“It smells wonderful,” Loki said gratefully and leaned forward to kiss Clint. “Thank you,” he whispered.

Clint shrugged and sat next to him. “I tried to keep it simple. I also saw the pretzel and couldn’t resist. They’re my favourite.”

“The twisted bread?”

“Yeah, and the cheese at the bottom.”

“Oh I love cheese,” Loki smiled and let the archer help him pull the food out. Loki was embarrassed to find how terribly his hands shook as he lifted a skewer to his mouth. Clint helped him steady it and after eating three of them, the shaking subsided. Loki sighed heavily as he fiddled with his fingers.

“What?” Clint asked nibbling on a piece from the fourth skewer.

“I always seem to ruin nice moments like this…” he muttered sadly.

“Loki you can’t help if you’re not feeling well because your body is healing itself.”

Loki closed his eyes for a moment. He wanted so desperately to tell him. He couldn’t.

Clint took Loki’s hand and kissed his knuckles. “It’s okay, honestly. Look, I know this isn’t the picnic I wanted to take you on in the park, but this is still something special. Real moments aren’t always perfect, that’s what makes them real and wonderful.”

Loki’s mouth twitched into a small smile for a moment. He looked at Clint and then leaned forward to kiss him. Clint put his clean hand on Loki’s cheek and brushed his thumb over his skin.

“Thank you,” the god whispered as they pulled away.

“Always,” he smiled and offered him the last skewer. Loki shook his head. “I got a small chicken wrap too,” he tried tempting the god. He really needed to eat a little more; he was still trembling and much too pale.

“A what?”

Clint pulled it out and unwrapped the top half of the foil. “A chicken wrap. It comes with lettuce, tomato, a cream cheese cranberry spread and chicken. Not sure what kind of cheese, but its cheese so it has to be delicious, right?”

Loki sniffed at it. “Smells good.”

“Yeah, take a bite; tell me how it tastes.”

Loki went to take it but Clint pulled it back. He grinned and then offered it out for the god again. Loki smirked and held his hair back as he took a bite. He nodded as he chewed. “Delicious.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes.” He took a napkin out of the bag and wiped his mouth. “Try it,” he encouraged.

Clint made a face. “Tomatoes…” he said and then frowned, the corners of his mouth pulling down dramatically.

Loki laughed at how comical he looked and took the wrap. He dug his fingers into it to pull one of the large tomato slices out. He began eating it as he handed the wrap back to Clint. “There,” he said licking his fingers. “That should let you have a few bites.”

Barton chuckled and took a bite. He nodded as well. “This _is_ really good.”

“We’ll have to make these at home one day,”

“Yeah, and then put more cheese,” Clint agreed.

Loki laughed and wiped his hands clean. He looked into the bag. “And this…pretzel,” he pronounced the name slowly; “it is a favourite of yours as well?”

“Yes,” he said and wiped his mouth with a napkin. “You can eat it with or without the cheese, but I mean cheese,” he said with a shrug that suggested: ‘why would you even consider eating it without cheese?’. “Best damn thing to ever be invented.”

Loki carefully opened the still warm golden liquid and took a taste. It wasn’t real cheese, that he was certain of, but it was a kind of cheese that Clint seemed to be fond of. He tore a piece of the pretzel and dipped it in. The taste was comforting; slightly sweet baked dough with the bite of salt and the tang of the rich cheese. He hummed enjoying it.

“Told you,” Clint grinned.

Loki smiled at him and then prepared another piece. He offered it to Barton who quickly ate it. Loki laughed at the way Clint had vacuumed it up from his fingers. They continued eating, sharing pieces of cheese covered pretzel and the chicken wrap, not really speaking yet made faces or noises to get the other to laugh.

When they were done, Barton bagged their trash up and tossed it into a nearby waste receptacle. They sat close to one another on the bench for a while; Clint’s one arm around Loki and both of the god’s hands holding Clint’s other hand. The archer leaned his face into Loki’s and inhaled deeply. The action caused a tickling sensation and Loki tilted his head trying to protect his neck as he laughed in an embarrassed and shy fashion.

“You smell like melty cheese,” he whispered against his cheek.

“If you would have said that to me before today I would have been very cross,” Loki said back.

“Yeah?” he smiled and pressed a kiss to the god’s jaw.

“Yes, now I’m highly flattered,” he admitted and they both started giggling like little children.

“Are you feeling better?” Clint asked as they settled down.

Loki nodded. “Much, thank you.”

“So tell me about the bedrock,” he said itching the side of his face and then settled his arm back around Loki’s shoulders.

“It’s beautiful,” Loki began in an excited tone. “It is ancient and decorated with so much history. That rock structure was once so hot it was liquid, and the pressure it was put under, and how its twisted and folded, and the minerals – oh it’s rich with minerals! Did you see the granite running along the surface? There are also spots where I can sense quartz and garnet and, oh the mica-flecking across the whole of it.” He took a breath and looked at Clint, who had a wide grin upon his face. Loki paused and looked away a little embarrassed. “It is, uh,” he cleared his throat, nervously, “very beautiful.”

“You’re adorable when you talk about things you love,” Clint said. “So it’s old and pretty and you mentioned something about power?”

“Oh yes,” Loki said and couldn’t help becoming excited about it once more. “I can’t believe you can’t feel it. It is just so…charged! It is just waiting to be tapped into. It’s almost begging for someone to come over and use it. It’s gorgeous!”

“Well, we could take over New York. We have the afternoon free,” Clint joked.

Loki looked at him and then away ashamed.

“I was joking,” he said sensing that he’d upset him. “You mentioned something before – look I didn’t mean to make you unhappy,” he explained lifting Loki’s chin.

“It’s not you,” he confessed truthfully. “It’s just, if you wanted me to, all you need is say the word and I’d do it.”

“Well that makes two,” he kissed him. “Don’t be so glum about it. We all have our dirty secrets and desires. It’s okay,” he reassured him. “It’s okay.”

Loki nodded and leaned into Clint’s chest. They held one another for a time and watched as the world carried on around them.

“What’s your favourite food?” Clint asked.

Loki shrugged. “I’ve never thought about it. I can tell you my children’s likes and dislikes, yet I can’t recall ever preferring one meal over another.”

“There has to be something you remember eating that was the best thing in the world. Something you know you’ll probably never eat again, but if you could –”

“It was a soup,” Loki whispered as he recalled that cold autumn. Loki had just arrived to the realm and he was waiting for him at his house. He had made a thick hearty soup and presented Loki with the final product, excited to hear what he thought of it. “It was rich and delicious; full of vegetables and meats. The broth was savoury and I ate it in a small round of bread that had the centre dug out. The bread was chewy, and my favourite part was scooping the soggy pieces up after I had eaten the rest of the soup. I ate two servings of the soup and the whole bowl.”

“That sounds good,” Clint smiled trying to picture it.

“And you?” Loki asked.

“Anything my mother made,” Clint nodded as he thought about her. “She used to bake all of the time. She was really great at deserts, but the thing I missed most from her was her turkey potpies. She’d make little ones for my brother and I, and a large one for her and my dad. The crust was buttery and flaky. The gravy was warm, and felt like I was being hugged by her. The turkey pieces were juicy and just the perfect size, and she’d put in carrots and peas, corn and potatoes. She also put celery pieces – God I hate celery! But I’d eat them because she’d spent time making those things by hand. She was always up early; always cleaning always cooking. She’d have my brother and I help her, because he loved cutting things and I loved peeling. She’d have us work together: I peeled the vegetables, he’d cut them into small pieces, and she’d make…everything: potpies, soups, stews, stuffing, casseroles, pies, even homemade Hot Pockets and Pop tarts. I never ate a store brand Hot pocket or Pop tart until I was in foster care.”

“She sounds like a wonderful woman,”

“She was. She,” he laughed as he remembered; “She used to make cinnamon rolls once a month. She’d clear the table and roll out the dough; damn could she roll dough! She’d keep it perfect and long; she had to have used magic to keep everything so even. Then she’d spread butter all over and coat it in cinnamon and sugar, roll it up, and cut it in half. Whenever she made cinnamon rolls, she’d made tons! She’d leave the front door opened so that the neighbour kids could run in and take a share home with them. She’d keep just enough so that we’d have four rolls by the end. She’d put three in the freezer, and one in the fridge. In the morning, she’d get up early, make pancakes, eggs, bacon, toast, sausage, and the rolls. She’d mix together the icing and pour it over them just before my brother and I came down. She’d give us two each and sit with us until she heard my dad get up. We’d have to hurry and take our plates out the backdoor as she set his paper and cracked a beer open for him. She was always so good at keeping us out of trouble with him. We’d eat outside and sneak our plates in when he wasn’t paying attention.”

Loki hummed as he imagined the kind and gentle hearted woman. She was fair and strong, and radiated love. He wasn’t surprised when he realised he had substituted Frigga’s face and imagined a younger him and Thor in place of Clint and his brother.

“If you had one wish, what would it be?” Clint asked.

“That my loved ones remained safe and happy,” Loki said. “Yours?”

“Same,”

“If you could journey anywhere in this realm, where would you go?”

Clint sighed as he thought about it. “I liked Japan and South Korea. India was nice, very poor, but they live simple lives and it’s nice to visit for a while. Virginia wasn’t too bad in the mountains…Michigan is beautiful, dark and kind of creepy at night in certain places, but I think if I had a choice I’d find my old home…I’d like to see what became of it.” He looked at Loki. “You?”

“If you’d allow me to follow you, I’ll be fine with any destination.” Clint’s smile warmed his heart and he leaned up to kiss him.

Their communicators buzzed.

Clint put his in his ear and activated it. “Yeah?” he said. “What’s wrong?” Clint asked. Loki gave him a concerned look. He sighed heavily. “Yeah we’ll come help. Yeah we’re heading back now. See you in a few.” He turned the communicator off and stood up, stretching a bit.

“What’s wrong?” Loki asked standing.

“A full blown crisis at the mansion,” he sighed heavily, his tone bored.

“What?” Loki began worrying for the safety of their comrades, and was confused over Clint’s behaviour.

“Yeah, it’s movie night and Natasha and Steve are arguing over what’s considered a Halloween movie and what’s not.”

Loki stared at him for a moment and then started laughing. Clint joined in and they both headed, hand in hand, back to the mansion.

\-------------------------------------------------

“The Rocky Horror Picture Show?” Loki mused as he turned the DVD case over to inspect it.

“Yep,” Natasha said putting out a giant bowl of popcorn.

“What is it? Where are his…clothes?” he raised a brow as his eyes found the few pictures on the back of the case.

The assassin chuckled as she left the room and went into the kitchen to grab the case of beer on the counter. She left and found Thor and Phil in the lobby. “Hey! Welcome back.”

“Greetings,” Thor said taking off his coat.

“Hey,” Phil said taking it and stowed their coats away. “What’s going on?”

“Movie night. I see Indiana was a bust,”

“Yeah,” Phil and Thor sighed.

“They had been there though, but we missed them by like a day. I have to do more calculations,” Phil explained.

“What movie?” Thor asked, keeping his personal feelings about their adventure aside.

“RHPS,”

“Whoa!” Phil threw a fist in the air excitedly. “Is it dress up or –”

“You can if you want. I will not judge.”

“Sweet. Is Fury around?” he asked.

“Uh,” she made a face as she went into the living area.

“Not like that,” he called and then followed her. “I just have a letter.”

“Oh,” she gave a small sigh of relief and set the case down on the coffee table. “I think he’s in the training area.”

“Okay, thanks. I won’t be long,”

“It’s fine, Steve is still patrolling with Bruce.”

Phil nodded and dashed off; said letter in his closed fist as he hurried to his boss and friend.

The training room was dark, the only light was half dimmed and in a corner area. Fury was balanced on one arm, his one hand opened and his palm perfectly centred on the uneven bar he was working on. His legs were straight and together, his other arm out, and his head down, body relaxed and only tense enough to keep himself equal and centred.

Phil approached carefully and silently. He saw the director stiffen a little and he slowly closed his hand over the bar again before bringing his other arm back down.

“Yes?” he asked calmly and quietly.

“It’s from Hill,” he said holding the small folded message out to him.

“What does it say?” he asked after a moment. He bent his knees and brought his legs close to his torso.

Phil opened it. “‘ _And Darkness and Decay and the Red Death held illimitable dominion over all_.’”

Fury swung down and gave himself a moment after landing for his body to recalibrate itself. Once he felt ready, he rose and snatched the paper Phil held out for him. He looked it over and then crumpled it and tossed it high into the air. “Jarvis,” he said calmly.

“As you wish sir,” the A.I. replied and sent a beam of energy to destroy the paper.

Phil followed Nick as he left the training area and headed back to their rooms. “What is it?”

“A warning. We don’t have a lot of time.”

“How much?”

“A year at most, but they’ll be moving in fast.”

“Are we going to tell the others?”

Fury stopped for a moment and then nodded. “Let’s give them a few more days of peace before we have to break this news.”

Coulson nodded. “Well, we didn’t find anything in Indiana.”

“No?”

“Nope. I lost the original signal, so Thor suggested we try the other places. Nothing in Tennessee, West Virginia, North Carolina, Vermont, or Southern New York either.”

“There aren’t that many places left then.”

“No, and then I’ll start worrying about the worst.”

“Well I hope we find them before S.H.I.E.L.D. does,” he sighed and gathered a change of clothes.

“I shouldn’t have sent Thor off on fake leads,” he sighed regretfully and shook his head.

“You were trying to help everyone. Don’t put yourself down.”

“Natasha said the same thing,”

“Well we both know to never question or go against what she says,” he replied with a smirk.

Phil nodded and chewed on his bottom lip. “Are you planning on coming down this evening?”

“Is there a group activity planned?” he asked heading to his bathroom.

“They’re watching the RHPS,”

Fury laughed and shook his head. “Maybe another day. I’ve had my fill of heels and corsets I’ve worn over the years.”

“Are you sure? You don’t have to dress up,” Phil laughed and crossed his arms over his chest as he leaned against the door.

“No,” he said with a smile as he re-entered the room. “I think tonight I’ll keep things low. Keep a watch out just in case.”

Phil nodded. “Alright. Well keep me updated.”

“Will do,” he said and Phil waved farewell before heading downstairs.

\-------------------------------------------------

Jane threw her cup away and rubbed at her face. It was late and the service station they’d stopped at for the night was poorly lit and mega shady. She heard someone come up from behind and she spun around quickly.

“Sorry,” Selvig apologised as he raised his hands surrendering. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“No,” she sighed relieved and rubbed her face again. “I’m just…tired.”

“We should find somewhere to rest for a bit.”

“We can’t afford to,”

“I have the funds–”

“I didn’t mean money wise,” she gently interrupted. “I meant…time wise. Safety…?” she frowned and shook her head slowly. She was so tired. She wondered sometimes if she was even speaking English when she opened her mouth.

“What are you running from?” he asked softly.

“I don’t know,” she confessed turning away.

“Is it Thor?”

“No,” she bitterly laughed. “I highly doubt he’s even looking for me.”

“S.H.I.E.L.D.?”

“No, they don’t scare me and Darcy has worked so hard to scramble any signals we put out that they’ll need someone on her level to crack them.”

“Then what?”

She shrugged. “I honestly don’t know. I just…I just know we can’t stay in one place for long. We have to…to keep going.”

He nodded. “Should we start heading for water?”

Jane took a few moments to think about what he was silently suggesting and what her answer would be.

“Hey!” Darcy shouted from the RV. “Hey Erik come quick!”

He looked at Jane. “Go,” she said waving a hand. “I’ll be fine out here. I need the time to think anyways.” No she didn’t. She spent most of her time thinking. Thinking about him, and she hated it. But she also loved it.

He nodded and set a comforting hand on her shoulder for a moment before hurrying to the vehicle. “What is it?” he asked as he entered.

“So, as I was adjusting the codes to bounce our signals, I found that the some of the original points have been interrupted.”

“What do you mean?”

“Like, someone unscrambled it, and then rescrambled it differently.”

“Was it S.H.I.E.L.D.?” Erik asked worriedly.

Darcy shook her head. “I don’t think so. The source isn’t from the air, it’s from the ground.”

“They have labs all across the world,”

“Yeah, but the source is from a city. It’s incomplete, but they know what they’re doing. Also,” she pulled up the second laptop. “All of the rescrambled places I threw the signal at have reported freak lightning storms.” She looked up at Selvig whose features where deeply thoughtful and conflictingly worried.

“Does Jane know?”

“No, I thought I’d share this with you first.”

“So he _is_ looking for her?”

“I don’t want to assume, but I’m assuming.”

“I highly doubt he knows how to use a computer,” Erik said trying to find a way to not make their suspicions true. He had to protect her. He couldn’t afford to have Thor coming after them. Not with his brother on the loose.

“But he’s with those that do,” she reminded. Selvig rubbed his face with a heavy sigh. “Okay look,” she said turning in her chair to face him more. “I understand that she’s heartbroken and he’s a lying jerk and stuff, but us moving around and me doing all this cover up work is going to be noticed by someone soon. I don’t want it to be the wrong someone.”

“Are you suggesting we let ourselves be found by this mysterious person to see if it really is…him?” he gapped at her, confused as to her change of heart and irrational behaviour. There was a war criminal out there being protected by a group of heroes and one of them happened to have fallen in love with Jane.

Darcy shrugged. “Would it kill us? I mean, don’t honestly answer that,” she added holding up a hand quickly. “But I mean, maybe we can set something up? Something to keep us safe but see them? Does that make sense?”

“Yes and I have an idea,” he leaned a hand on the desk and put one on the back of her chair. Darcy turned toward the computers and set her hands on the keys ready. “We’re in the agreement Jane isn’t to know?”

“Yeah son, my lips are sealed,” she replied and started opening the files she needed.

\-------------------------------------------------

“Alright, rule number one:” Natasha said as she stood in front of the TV. “No random shout-ins! There are those here that haven’t seen it, or have seen it many times and actually hate the fucking lame ass additions. Number two: keeps your hands to yourself! If you feel the overwhelming need and can’t keep a grip on yourself, I will kick your ass out of this room. Number three:” her eyes snapped to Clint, “No singing out loud.”

“What!?” he shouted.

“None! You can lip sync, but no actual singing or speaking the words aloud. I don’t even want to hear your lips pop or tongue flick against your teeth or whatever. Also four: no lame sex jokes.”

“Oh my god this is America not Russia!” he sighed heavily and slumped in his seat dramatically. “You take all of the fun out of watching this movie and we might as well invite Hitler over for bingo!”

“Everyone clear?” she said ignoring Barton. “Oh and I will allow everyone to get up and dance during the Time Warp. That’s the only exception. Agreed?”

There was a chorus of agreement from those who’d seen the movie and nods from everyone else. The archer crossed his arms unhappily and frowned, deciding to fume in his misery rather than argue.

Romanoff played the movie and turned the lights down. Loki didn’t honestly know what he expected from just his study of the cover, but it hadn’t been what he found in the movie. He found love and fear; a new couple covering up their insecurities; an alien that just wanted to find fun, acceptance, and a partner to spend his days with; a man dealing with his masculinity and a woman finding her sexuality; a man put his eggs into one basket; a bizarre brother and sister who were a bit too physical at times; music that danced and inspired things deep inside him, and words that spoke sweetly to his soul.

He felt the arousal, sadness, joy, anger, and loneliness of the characters and at the end when the crazy alien doctor was singing about going home; he couldn’t find it within himself to stop the few tears that fell from his eyes. He controlled his breathing and brushed them away, ignoring Clint’s concerned glance. He didn’t want to talk or think about what he was feeling at that moment. He just wanted to stay invested in the movie and forget about reality.

The archer snuggled up to him and linked their arms, giving his arm a small squeeze and pressed his lips to his sleeve for a few seconds before laying his head upon it. Loki relaxed a little and offered his hand for Clint to play with. It helped sooth him, especially when the final moments of the show came to a crescendo.

The credits rolled and Thor complained about how he didn’t understand it. Loki looked down at Clint.

“Did you like it?” he asked and rubbed the god’s arm comfortingly.

Loki nodded as he continued to absorb it all. “Yes. It was…very profound in an unexpected way.”

“But if they killed him, then what was the point of –” Thor began as Natasha explained the point of the movie to him again.

“Are you okay?”

Loki nodded and stretched a bit.

“Do you…do you want to go upstairs?” he asked with a suggestive wiggle of his eyebrow.

Loki smirked and rose from the couch, Clint following along. “Well that was a very insightful and inspiring movie,” he began and brought his hands together before him. “I rather enjoyed it very much. I do hope you don’t mind –”

“Nah. Go and have weird sex or whatever with your boyfriend,” Natasha said waving them away.

Phil and Banner both made a face and Thor chuckled. Steve covered his mouth with a hand as his face turned pink. Loki and Clint bid them all goodnight and hurried up the stairs. In all honesty, if both of them hadn’t felt so exhausted, they probably would have had wild steamy intercourse right on the floor in front of the door; however, it had been a long day and Loki’s leg was starting to ache again.

He sighed heavily as he undressed and stiffly hobbled to the bathroom to relieve and ready himself for bed. Clint wasn’t too far behind him. When Loki was settling under the sheets, Clint came over with a few of the pills and a small glass of water. The god took them and drank the entire glass.

“I know you’re not feeling well still,” Barton said as he tucked a pillow under the god’s healing leg.

“No, I apologise,”

“Don’t,” he said and then gently began massaging Loki’s ankle. The god sighed and settled back. “Does that hurt?”

“No,” he whispered closing his eyes. “It feels good.”

So Clint continued to rub at Loki’s calf, taking care to avoid the badly bruised parts and gently run his fingers along the still tender ones. Loki moaned as his strong fingers kneaded the pain away from the other parts of his leg and left a soothing tingling that ached a bit, but not in a bad way.

When he was finished, Clint leaned down and pressed a kiss to Loki’s bare skin. The god held out his arms and Clint carefully crawled to sit on his lap. He leaned down and kissed Loki. It was a quick little peck, but the god wanted something more. He reached out and brought Clint’s face back toward his, this time kissing him for a little longer, and then again and again.

He kissed him to show his appreciation for his care; to convey how much he valued his consideration for his injury and current health state; and he desperately hoped his kisses sang with how much he loved him.

Clint got the message and responded by running his fingers through the parts of Loki’s loosely braided hair that he could. When the god was full and satisfied with their kisses, he let the archer go. Clint pressed one final and deeply loving kiss to his forehead, and then very carefully swung himself off of his lap and settled next to him.

It was Clint’s turn to snuggle up with the god, so he wrapped a leg around Loki’s good one, tucked an arm under his back and one over his middle, and rested his head upon his chest. The god wrapped his arms around him and played with the back of his neck. The lights dimmed.

“Today was good,” the archer mumbled into Loki’s chest.

He nodded in agreement. “Yes, it was.”

“Are you feeling any better now?”

“Yes,” he sighed sleepily. “Just stiff.”

“Oh?” he asked curiously in a tone that suggested Loki’s leg wasn’t in question.

The god smiled with a small laugh and tapped his shoulder in reprimand.

“I mean I can help with that,” he kept joking and reached down to lay a hand over Loki’s member.

The god gasped in surprise and began loudly laughed as he grabbed the archer’s wrist to stop him. It made Clint’s heart flutter. Loki so rarely laughed in such a carefree and joyous way. He was glad that he’d been able to make him do such a thing. Loki brought his hand up and pressed kisses over it. Clint brushed his knuckles along Loki’s chin as his hand moved back to rest around his waist. Loki hid his grin in Clint’s hair.

They were silent for a while. Barton cleared his throat loudly. It brought Loki from the hazy point of almost being asleep to being very wide awake. He shifted a little and swallowed with a faint hum.

“Loki?” Clint mumbled.

Loki hummed a little louder, this time indicating that the archer had his attention.

“Rain check on kinky sex?”

Loki chuckled and nodded his head a tiny bit. “Yes.”

“I love you…” Clint whispered as he nodded off to sleep.

Loki held the archer a little tighter. He pressed his lips to the top of his head. “I love you with all of my heart, Clinton,” he whispered and then drifted back to sleep.

\-------------------------------------------------

“Okay so the plan is, we stay on course for Virginia, but make it look like we’re heading for Florida,” Darcy said quietly to herself as she practiced her speech for Selvig. She was exhausted to the point of death; literally about to pass out and never awake again. Like a cursed princess or something. She huffed as she let the sloppy mess of gross canned chili and low quality meat fall from her spoon. If she did pass out, she hoped that when she awoke, her kingdom would greet her with better food. Like bacon.

 _Oh bacon!_ She moaned unhappily and set her spoon down. She hadn’t the stomach for any more machine processed chemical pop-up food anyways. Her computer beeped and she flipped a switch on the main thingamajig Jane had built to help scatter and bounce their signal. The burger joint she had been sucking free wifi off of had shut off for the night, and that meant she could turn the damn thing off and probably get some sleep. Not likely, Jane would most likely wake within an hour and panic about having to be away.

Darcy sighed again. Jane…that was another thing…

She put her feet up on the table and leaned back to stretch. As she did, she looked over at Jane, who was fidgeting in her dreams. She hadn’t slept well since Coulson’s visit. She hadn’t really eaten, smiled, laughed, or done much of anything else apart from panicking and muttering to herself. The muttering bit was from stress and lack of sleep, the panicking part was mainly because she didn’t know what she’d say or do if Thor found her.

 _If,_ Darcy shook her head. _When_ Thor found them. He would, she had made certain of that, but if Jane decided to see him or even speak to him was another matter. She was being so…moody lately, so unlike herself. At least they had gotten past the angry crying stage. Now whenever Thor came on the TV or they spotted a little blip in a paper or on a magazine, Jane would just remain silent and walk away from it. Inside though, Darcy knew she was screaming. She was burning from it all and it would eventually destroy her.

Not if Darcy could help it. Once they were settled in a decent spot, she was going to take Jane bar hopping. She was going to get her so drunk, that she’d wish her parents had never had her when she woke up the next morning. That was the way to do Maybe they could even get some dude to buy them most of their drinks? Jane was attractive; she could easily find someone to pick up their tab. Darcy also hadn’t been out to party like that in so long, it would be great fun for them both. Something well needed and deserved.

“Darcy what are you still doing up?” Erik asked softly as he entered the camper.

She pulled her feet down off the table and shrugged. “I’m not really tired.” It was probably the biggest lie, she’d ever told in her life. Including the time, she’d gotten that tattoo without permission and didn’t tell her parents. Or when she was in high school and used to sneak out to go to college parties. Or when she had smoked weed once with some friends, and then her parents had dragged her to Sunday mass, and everyone asked if she was sick and she had said it was allergies. Or when she was a freshman and lied to several seniors in college about them taking her virginity just to get free stuff out of them. Or when –

She snorted and shook herself. Okay so she had told some big lies over the years, but this time this one was really the biggest lie she’d told so far; and probably the most innocent.

“You should try anyways,” he suggested, as he usually did. “Are we still online?”

“No,” she shook her head. “I switched it off for the night. If anyone tries to track it, they’ll find it’s stopped at a rest area a state back. They’ll also find a cup with a bit of chewing gum and a little blinky thing wired to the inside of an old Tamagotchi that –”

“Okay,” Erik said cutting her off.

Darcy kept her mouth shut. She hated when he did that. He was always telling her off, cutting her off, and putting her down. Just because _he_ had several degrees and she didn’t, didn’t make him smarter than her. Yeah sure, he could do some cool stuff and made that giant gateway that nearly destroyed New York by letting aliens in, but she could do some really cool things too. And she didn’t need anything fancy, just some junk and a couple of pieces of gum.

“Sleep,” he said a little more sternly and patted her shoulder.

“When are we going to tell –”

“Sleep,” he said not as nicely this time.

Darcy bit her tongue. She took her bowl of gross and scrapped it into the trash before leaving it in the sink. As she climbed into the space next to Jane, very careful not to wake her, she noticed something on the smaller and older computer screen. It was blinking. She went over to look at it. It was a message. She tried to trace it, but found no source, and when she tried opening it she realised they didn’t have internet or a signal. No, they were in the middle of nowhere with nothing but their camper, a Jeep, and a dark burger joint that wouldn’t open again until eight in the morning. Her cell phone didn’t even get service out there.

Where had the message come from?

She frowned and settled down to sleep as Erik went back to his cot outside and his stupid self-righteous guard duty. She watched the blinking light until it blurred and she fell into dreams. In them, she was standing in a clearing. There were explosions everywhere and the sounds of people shouting. Everything was moving four times slower than normal, and the sky was streaked with lightning. She looked down and found her front and hands stained in red.

\-------------------------------------------------

“So what is the purpose of…Hall-o-when?” Loki asked as he tried pronouncing the word on the sturdy paper sign he was holding. The kitchen was full of decorations scattered all over. The colours black and orange were starting to become overpowering and unimpressive to the god. He drank some more of his tea as he waited for her answer.

“It’s a celebration,” Natasha explained as she continued to root around through a large plastic bin for something. “Hall-o- _ween_ ,” she corrected as she stood and set a plastic cat on the island. “Also known as ‘All Hallow’s Eve’ is a holiday that is dedicated to the dead.” She bent down and started looking for something else. “It’s been commercialised here, but the point is still to acknowledge the supernatural, the deceased, the bizarre, the scary, and reward it with treats.”

“Where did it come from?”

“Who knows,” she sighed pulling up a plastic pumpkin. “Some scholars say it’s Christian, some Celtic, some pagan or other. It’s just something many countries, over the years, have agreed to celebrate.”

Loki frowned as he set the paper down and picked up a plastic pumpkin to examine. “A whole world dedicated to a holiday of worship, yet no one remembers the reason, other than death?” he shivered as the darkness floated around within him. “He would have enjoyed such an event,” he muttered darkly to himself.

Natasha glanced at him and then turned away quickly. “Have you and Clint made plans?”

“For this day?” he pointed to the word and then shrugged. “None I am aware of.”

“That’s odd,” she frowned. “This is his favourite holiday.”

“Clint’s favourite holiday is based off of death worship?”

“It’s not about that in America,” she shook her head. “I said it’s become commercialised. Here it’s all about trick-or-treating; parties; out-decorating your neighbours in spooky yard displays; apple and pumpkin flavoured everything; and visiting scary places. People here don’t do the worship of death really. It’s more the worship of eating candy and pranks.”

“Pranks?” he perked up interested.

She smiled. “Yes, that’s the concept of trick-or-treating. Children dress up in costumes and go from door to door with the promise of playing a mean trick on someone if they are not rewarded with a treat.”

“Really?” he grinned and leaned an elbow on the island to rest his chin upon as he excitedly listened. “Tell me more.”

“Well, there are also hayrides, where people go out to apple or pumpkin orchards to ride around in the woods in the dark; tell spooky stories around a bonfire; and enjoy the foods of the fall harvest. Ah!” Natasha clapped her hands together and then pointed excitedly at Loki. “A better way to explain this time of the year is to say it’s a celebration of autumn. They are saying goodbye to the warmth and life of summer, and welcoming the death of nature and the winter. But I do believe that’s more of the pagan or other nature-based religious ideals. Most Americans are concerned about candy and costumes.”

“Both ideals are beautiful in their own rights,” he said and straightened. “Is trick-o-treating reserved only for children?”

“Yes, but adults can dress up and attend parties. Most hosts have bowls of candy set out for their guests to consume.”

“Hm,” Loki thought. “I think that’s easier than what the children have to deal with. They must walk and ask for it. The adults have it presented like some stuffed roasted pig.”

“Yum, speaking of stuffed roasted pig,” she said and turned to the fridge. “I’m craving ham!” she picked up the marker and wrote down a few things on a pad of paper there.

“Hey,” Banner said entering the kitchen.

“Hey,” Natasha said and took a large gulp of her tea.

“Greetings,” said Loki taking a sip of his.

“I see we’re getting ready for the big night,” Bruce said gesturing to the black and orange mess strewn around.

“Yep, I got tired of it being all over our room and decided to invade the kitchen,” she smiled looking at it all.

“Who’s on candy duty?”

“Steven and I have no immediate plans. Fury offered to take over the later shifts. You’re welcome to help. I hear it’s going to be a little bit bigger than what we planned.”

“What was the original plan?”

“Pepper was contacted by several news stations asking if the Avengers were doing anything special for that night and she said yes, but only the day before. She suggested we do a little thing in the front, y’know, make some lines, hand out some candy, say some nice things and then off they go. Apparently people are making plans to travel to this event from miles around. Someone made an online event and already there are over seventeen thousand who have RSVP’d to it. So she’s sending security to help with the event as well.”

“Exciting and I’d love to help out. I might actually. It depends on Jennifer.”

“Who is she?” Loki asked curiously.

“My cousin,” Bruce said with a smile. “She’s more like a sister, but I haven’t seen her since…” he made a pained face and then cleared his throat uncomfortably. “Um, but we’ve talked on the phone a lot. She’s going to be in the city soon and she wanted to meet up. We’re not sure when or for how long, so,” he shrugged.

“I understand,” Tasha nodded. “I’ll make sure you can have the night off if she’s in town.”

“Thanks,”

“Natasha!” Clint shouted from the other room as he hurried down the stairs. “Natasha!”

“Yes?” she said turning her head just as he entered the kitchen.

“Can Loki and I go to a hayride in Michigan?” he asked, full of youthful enthusiasm.

“Have you been a good boy recently?” she asked very maternally.

Clint glared at her. The other three laughed, which only deepened his unhappiness and darkened his look.

“Okay, okay,” she waved a hand as her mirth subsided a bit. “I’m just playing. What day were you thinking?”

“Tomorrow,” he blurted out excitedly, his anger from before completely gone.

Romanoff looked at Loki who stared wide-eyed at her and then at Clint. He shrugged. “I suppose.”

“Great,” Clint smiled and hurried from the room and back up the stairs.

She sighed and looked at Loki. “You sure you want to spend forever with him?”

A slow pleased smile spread over his mouth. “Yes,” he whispered shyly and bit his bottom lip as he looked down at his feet; overwhelming sadness and joy filling him.

She didn’t miss the small flash of it all playing over his face. She glanced over and found Banner looking through the fridge. So he hadn’t seen it. She decided to not say anything about it yet.

“Hey,” Steve said popping his head in the kitchen. “We’ve got a thing.”

“Does it need all of us?” Bruce asked.

“Not sure, but it’ll need at least three.”

“I’ll prepare to Hulk up,” he said and set the orange back in favour of grabbing a whole watermelon.

“Ask Clint,” Natasha said going to the soldier. “I’m going to try and get these up. Let me know if you need back-up?” she said putting her hands on his chest.

“Okay,” he nodded and leaned down to kiss her. “Have fun,” he smiled at her.

“You too,” she said and they kissed once more before Bruce and him hurried off. The sounds of Clint charging after them excitingly a minute later brought about a creepy silence to the mansion.

She turned back to the kitchen and looked around. “On second thought…” she whispered and twisted her mouth off to the side as she thought about all of the work she had ahead of her.

Loki laughed and picked up a rubbery hanging bat. “I offer my assistance.”

She smiled at him and they started decorating the mansion. It was much more fun than Loki had originally thought it to be. He learned of Midgardian hobgoblins, newer tales of witches, spooks, devils, as well as the art and legends of pumpkin carving. As they traded objects and places up and down the ladder to decorate the entranceway, Loki asked questions regarding the trip Clint had planned for them.

“I don’t want to ruin it for you,” she said handing him a decorative rubber bat.

“I only need to know what to expect,”

“Well…he’ll probably force you to do a few cheesy things, eat warm foods, snuggle near a bonfire, and other fun stuff.”

“Essentially, I should prepare myself for a night of whimsy and unusual Midgardian customs?” he asked as he reached overhead and hung it on a hook in the lowered ceiling space above the front doorway.

“Yep,” she said grabbing up the purple and orange string lights. “Clint’s always been about whimsy cheesy family stuff. Hope you don’t mind.”

“If I did, then I wouldn’t be with him,” he chuckled and took up one end of the lights so that he could start putting them up.

“Do you miss them?”

“Clint and the others?” he asked confused.

“No,” she laughed a little and then felt bad for asking such a thing. “I meant your…family…like your kids?”

Loki’s face fell a little, yet he kept his expression less than what he felt inside. “I do.”

“Thor mentioned going back to Asgard early next year…” she said carefully. “Do you think he can convince your mother to bring your children to visit you?”

Loki stopped and took a few moments to think of what to say. He hadn’t really spoken to anyone about the deal Thor had made with the All-Father. He hadn’t really thought much of it since he and Thor had spoken of it. He took the last part of the strand and set it on the final hook before climbing down. “I…may I confide in you?” he asked feeling horridly nervous.

“Yes,” she said noticing his expression and instantly became concerned. “What’s wrong?”

“Not here…” he said looking around. “Somewhere else?”

“Okay, let’s move this stuff and we’ll go upstairs,”

He nodded and they moved the box and the ladder off to the side. Once finished Natasha went into the kitchen and made them some more tea. She handed a freshly hot cup to Loki and they went up the stairs and to her room.

It was about the same size as his and Clint’s, only with two separate small closet spaces, and a slightly smaller bathroom; however, it was still nice and Natasha and Steven had gone to great lengths to make it homey and comfortable. It was also on the other side of the hall and just a little further up, so Loki could see out the front of the house.

They sat at the small table near the large window. Natasha waited for Loki to decide on when he was ready to speak. They sat there for a while.

He cleared his throat. “I don’t honestly know what I expected when I asked if I could confide in you,” he admitted and then shrugged a bit, his shoulders sagging as he lost the strength to hide what was troubling him. “Perhaps that it would be easier to…” he swallowed and looked away sadly. “Clint doesn’t know this yet…not really…I…I don’t have a lot of time here,” he swallowed again and looked down at his mug. “Come spring, the All-Father will send guards, and Thor will escort me back to Asgard…there I shall stand trial…and…” he bit his bottom lip and fought to keep himself from crying. The darkness stirred and it made him nauseous.

Natasha didn’t need for him to finish his sentence to understand the god’s worries. “Oh…” she said softly. “And you know that there is a good chance that you won’t return.”

He nodded. “Will you look after him?” he whispered staring at the table.

“You know I will…you also know he won’t just sit by and let you go without him,”

“I have to,” he insisted and looked at her. “Asgard is no place for him. You all need him. His place is here with his friends.”

“His place is with you,” she said gently.

Loki closed his mouth firmly and then said seriously, “If he comes with me, there is a chance he’ll be sent back. If he isn’t, he’ll be stuck and alone. Odin will see to it that I am isolated in my imprisonment.”

“These are ‘what if’s,” she pointed out, trying to stay optimistic. She’d never been very good at it, and damn Steven for making her want to try and be better at it, but she knew Loki needed that sort of encouragement right now.

“Odin is an unforgiving man without heart. He will see to it that I am kept alone and without visitors. That is, if I am to even be kept alive,” he added bitterly.

“Clint and Thor will help plead on your behalf.”

“Clint’s place is here with his family,” Loki said closing his eyes. Several tears slipped from them and it tore at Natasha’s chest to see him so miserable. “He deserves better,” he whispered, his bottom lip trembling. He covered his face with his hands and then decided to lay his head down on the table and wrapped his arms around it.

“Sh, Loki,” she said gently and rose to go stand near him. She put a hand firmly on his shoulder and rubbed his back with the other. “Sh, it’s okay.”

“It’s not,” he sniffed and tried not to break down. “I’m only making things worse. That’s all I ever do.”

“No you don’t. You have done so many wonderful things for us and others. Loki, please don’t put yourself down.”

“I only bring suffering to those who keep me near them,”

 _Ugly selfish repulsive monster…_ the darkness said sympathetically and patted his shoulder. _We understand your suffering…you have hurt so many…_

“I have,” he whispered between short sobs he couldn’t keep down.

“No, Loki,” she soothed.

“Yes,”

_Yes…yes you have._

“I’m sorry,”

“It’s alright,”

_They all hate you. They grow tired of dealing with you. You are such a burden…_

“I know I am,”

Natasha frowned at him. It took her a few seconds and several more comments muttered from the god for her to realise he wasn’t speaking to her and that he was having another episode. She gently pulled Loki to sit up and then close to her. He froze for a second as he felt her hug him. His head rested on her chest and he could hear her heart beating. It was steady and firm. Her touch was soft and supportive; comforting and protective. It made his chest ache as it brought back memories of his mother. He missed her so greatly. Being separated from her like this hurt far worse than any torture he’d ever endured.

“You are not a burden Loki,” she said. “You have never been and you never will be. The only burden is the darkness, and you can’t help that. Not yet. You are not a monster; you are a wonderful loving being with a heart too big, too shy, and too full to properly know what to do with it. You’ve been taken advantage of and I’m sorry for that.”

“I’m sorry,” he whispered and sniffed, trying to pull away.

She held him still and continued to sooth him. “Don’t be. We all have rough moments in our lives. Sometimes we can shoulder them and sometimes we need others to help carry the weight. That is what our family and friends are for. If they don’t want to help you, then they don’t want to be a part of your life and you’re better off without them dragging you down.”

Loki chuckled weakly. “That sounds like something Clinton would say.”

“Well,” she smiled, “it is. It’s something he helped me learn.”

He felt pride and sorrow fill his chest. It was suffocating and made him feel as though he were drowning. Loki held onto her and cried until some of the pressure dissipated. Even after he dropped his arms tiredly, Natasha continued to rub his back and smooth her fingers through his hair.

Loki flinched the next time she gently pushed his hair behind his ear and she paused. “Did I hurt you?”

He slowly shook his head. “I,” he rasped and cleared his throat. “I cannot silence it,” he whispered ashamed.

“Try thinking of it as your self-doubts or worries. They come and go, sometimes they are quiet and sometimes they are louder than the rest of your thoughts. No matter what you say or do, your brain will always create something to keep you on edge, keep you cautious; you just have to decide if it’s the right time and place to listen to them.”

Loki nodded and pulled away from her. She let him this time, keeping one hand on his shoulder as she leaned toward the middle of the table to grab the tissue box and offered it to him. Loki quietly thanked her and took several to clean his face off and empty his nose. He apologised for staining her shirt.

“It’s fine,” she promised and set the box down near his mug of cold tea. “It’ll come out in the wash.”

“Funny,” Loki said softly as he checked his nose to see if it would still run, “my mother always said that too.”

Natasha gave him a small smile and then pulled her chair around to sit closer to him. “So,” she said as she grabbed her mug and sat down. “Let’s brainstorm some ideas on how to handle and fix your problem.”

“There is nothing any of us can do about the darkness,”

“Okay, well we’ll find someone who can,”

Loki’s lips twitched sadly and he turned to stare tiredly into his tea.

“In the meantime, we both love and care for Clint. We know he won’t do well without you.” Loki opened his mouth to argue and she held up her hand. “I know you think leaving him here is doing him a favour, but you’ll be doing more harm than good. Also, if Odin is unfair in his punishment, and you both are separate, don’t think word won’t get back here. We’ll come spring you out.”

“I am very grateful,” he said knowing that even if they did hear of it, and by some great miracle made it to Asgard, her defences were impenetrable; especially the lower cells. Unless relinquished willingly the magicked walls wouldn’t come down. Even if they did manage to free him, there would be nowhere safe he and Clint could go. Nowhere in the whole universe… he shivered and pushed those darkening thoughts from his mind.

“I think you’ve worked yourself up too much,” she said gently. “I know you’ve been alone for a long time, or at least felt it, but now you’re not. What happens to you doesn’t just affect you and Clint anymore, it affects us all. We’re a team, a family. If we can’t look out for one another and share our problems, then how could we ever manage to help and save others?”

Loki looked up at her for several minutes and then back down at his tea. “If I tell Clint…I’m worried he’ll change his mind about marriage…” he confessed in a whisper.

“Well I promise you he won’t,”

“And then what? The knowledge that we may not be together after the trial will just sit in his mind. It’ll become heavy. It’ll weigh our moments here down.”

“But you’re already doing that, and you don’t know if it will or not,” she pointed out. “Loki, by not telling Clint this, he can’t understand what’s truly bothering you. You’re both on two separate pages, you need to meet up and continue your journey together. Isn’t that why you both bonded so quickly, because you both were supposed to be together now? If you’re keeping things from him, then how are you supposed to help each other?”

Loki was silent for a time. “I feel so selfish,” he whispered and wiped some remaining tears, that slipped unbidden down his cheeks, away.

“Don’t. You’re trying to protect him. I get that. But you’re doing it the hard way and in the long run it’s only going to hurt you both.” She reached out and set her hand upon his wrist. “I promise that you are stronger than what you think, and that both of you will figure this out and make it work.”

He nodded slowly. “When should I tell him?” he asked and then looked at her for guidance.

She shrugged. “It’s up to you.”

He looked back down at his tea and thought for several more minutes. She was so much like his mother it unnerved him at times. The temper, the passion, the drive, the kindness; it’s a wonder that it wasn’t her reincarnation looking at him, waiting for his answer; waiting to help him. Her gaze patient and loving in a way that suggested that only he knew the answer and the right moment, even if he felt deep down in all of his being that he hadn’t a clue. “Tonight,” he whispered and cleared his throat, raising the volume of his voice only a little, “I’ll tell him tonight.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [**An example picture of the bedrock Loki and Clint are standing at.**](http://bmj2k.files.wordpress.com/2012/01/umpire_rock.jpg) There are several of these around the park. Some have steps cut into them and lots of people sit and read, nap, play, dance, etc on them. They're really beautiful. Some are small and very close to the ground, but I've stood on one that was very massive. I honestly don't know any of the names for them except for Umpire Rock, mainly because a lot of people talk about it and take pictures of that one. I do believe the area they are wandering around in, in this chapter is near it (if not actually it).
> 
>  **Nightingales:** can sometimes be a very good omen, and sometimes they are not. They represent beauty, immortality, longing for love, death, freedom, loss, life, joy, and melancholy, or a cry for help from a lost soul. It can also represent a ready for change in someone's life, where the individual is learning their own potential or their life is about to make a huge transformation.
> 
>  **[Chinese Nightingales:](http://ibc.lynxeds.com/files/pictures/Red-billed_Leiothrix.jpg)** aka Red-billed Leiothrix (and a bunch of other titles), are very beautiful little birds. Like any other thing in nature, their colouring sometimes is different: like instead of a creamy white belly they will have a paler blue, or really no change in hue there at all. Adults have red beaks and yellow around their eyes; and males have the bright red patches on their wings. Males are also much more vibrant and louder than females, and they are highly territorial during breeding season.
> 
>  ** _And Darkness and Decay and the Red Death held illimitable dominion over all._** : the final line from Edgar Allen Poe's _The Masque of the Red Death_. Very good short story. I highly recommend it, if you haven't read it; most especially if you're into symbolism.


	42. Chapter 42

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got a day off work! WHOA! So I decided to edit this and post it! Yay!!! I know it's short, but I promise the next one will make up for this one's length.
> 
> All mistakes are my own. If there is anything that doesn't make sense, please let me know and I'll fix it right away. Please enjoy!

\----------------------42----------------------

Clint walked into the bedroom and found it dark and empty. He frowned as he set his quiver and bow carefully into the chair. “Loki?” he called as he unstrapped his belt. He saw movement behind the almost closed bathroom doors. He stiffened and reached out through the bond. He found nothing to offer a clue as to where the god was or how he was doing. Everything was far too still and dark in their rooms for his liking. Besides, Loki always sensed his presence and greeted him whenever he returned.

Clint pulled the knife out of his boot and carefully crept toward the bathroom. He noticed that there was light faintly coming from within. A shadow crossed in front of the doors. He was so tense he was afraid he would start shaking. He opened the one door just a hair more and peaked inside. There were candles all over the place and the delicious warm smell of food flowed to him. He looked around the small area he could see and found Loki, who had his back turned to the archer. He was messing with something, for his shoulders where tense and his arms moved in jerky twists and tugs. Loki made a huffing noise and then seemed to pull at something.

The pop made both of them jump and that was when Clint saw it was a bottle of wine he had been struggling to open. The god set it in a bucket of ice and then sat at the side of the tub. He rolled up his sleeve and swirled his hand in it to check the temperature of the water.

Clint felt his heart tug at how beautiful he looked. The way the candle light played upon his features, the reflection of it in the water, the warmth it gave the room…it was… he sighed a little and relaxed his arm. His movements seem to have trigger Loki’s super sense, for he lifted his head a little as if he were listening for something and then looked at the door. Clint moved out of the crack just in time.

“Clinton?” he called out softly and rose. Clint backed up a bit more and tossed the knife into the laundry basket. He turned just to find Loki open the doors and look around. “Oh,” he said upon seeing him. “There you are.”

“Yeah, hi,” he smiled at him.

“I didn’t hear you come in. Have you been out here long?”

“No, I just got in,” he fibbed. “I was about to throw my clothes into the basket. I called for you, but didn’t hear anything so I was going to change and look for you.”

“Oh,” Loki said and rubbed at his scalp nervously as he looked at the ground. “I apologise…I’ve…” he took a deep breath and then straightened his posture and looked at the archer with a serious expression to help hide his inner fears. “We must converse.”

Clint blinked a little taken aback. “O-okay,” he said and gestured to the chairs and table they’d set up near the door. “I can move my–”

“Here,” Loki cut in with firmness. “Now. I’m tremendously sorry; however, I fear I shall lose the will if I tarry much longer.” He licked his lips and took a deep breath in an attempt to steady himself. Clint nodded and gave him his full undivided attention.

“You always encourage me to be honest with you,” Loki began and started fiddling with his hands. He nodded supportively. “I have tried my best, and we both know there are certain things I cannot speak of now, and that I may never be able too. However, I feel I must…” he took another breath and looked at the floor for a few seconds. Clint could see his nervousness growing and his composure slip. “I need to tell you this,” he said calmly and with sadness in his eyes.

Clint watched as the evening sun died behind him; the colours painting the side of Loki’s face various shades of orange and pinky-red. He looked so beautiful, even though the look in his eyes hurt Clint’s heart. He nodded again and held his palms opened toward Loki. “Okay, you know I’m always listening,” he reminded gently.

Loki nodded quickly, rubbing a hand down his mouth, before rubbing his forehead with his fingertips and started pacing. He muttered softly to himself and then stopped suddenly. “I…I have only ever loved one other as much as I love you. I was afraid to love you. I was afraid I’d lose you the same way I lost him…and…” he inhaled, holding back his feelings as the wounds tore opened a little. “And I can’t live through that again,” he sighed carefully. “In all honestly I don’t even know how much longer we have together…Thor…” he choked a bit and then took a calming breath before trying again. “Before Thor returned here to find me in S.H.I.E.L.D.’s care, he made a bargain with the All Father. I have until the Midgardian spring to pay back, through physical labour, my debt for destroying this realm.” He took a shaking breath and looked at Clint seriously. “In the spring, Thor will be sent for and I am to be taken back to Asgard to stand trial for my crimes there, here, and those against Jötunheim. All of which I am fully responsible for and will take whatever mercy or justice my judges see fit.” He stopped upon seeing Clint’s face twitch. He looked as though he’d been slapped really hard by someone he cared for. He had, only with words and not actions, yet Loki knew they stung just the same, if not worse.

“Are…” he cleared his throat and looked down at the ground trying to make sense of what the god was trying to say. “Are you…are you breaking up with me?” he asked, his voice cracking as fear started seeping into his system.

“No!” Loki shook his head quickly and waved his hands in panic. “Norns no! By the light, Yggdrasil, and the nine I would never! I mean, this morning I was toying with the idea –”

“Toying?” he rasped and looked at him in disbelief.

He looked so wounded it tore at Loki’s heart. “That is the wrong word,” he hissed and mentally berated himself. “I was only considering what _I_ thought would be best for you,” he rushed out, panic rising within him, making his words speed up and his breathing shorten. “I spoke to Natasha and she helped show me that this wasn’t just about me and what _I_ wanted this was about us and what _we_ decided because it affects both of us. And I –”

“Loki, breathe,” Clint cut in and stepped forward to hold his shoulders and help calm him down. “Breathe before you work yourself too far up and we can’t keep talking.”

Loki stopped and nodded as he forced himself to take a deep breath. He looked at Clint who nodded his head and raised his eyebrows in a fashion that silently suggested that he was alright and that he would wait patiently until the god could talk again.

After a few more calming breaths, Loki spoke again. “There is a great chance,” he began, his voice already brittle as tears started flooding his eyes, “that when I finish my trials, I will either be executed, and if not, then isolated and imprisoned for a very long time, perhaps even the rest of my life. I…” he bit his lip and looked down at the ground. “I never wanted to do such a thing to you…I never wanted to put you in a position to choose between your home realm and possibly living in Asgard and never seeing me again…or watching them…put me to death…” he whispered and felt his mouth tremble as he held it all back. Saying such words aloud had been difficult in front of Natasha, yet it was pure agony to speak them before Clint.

Barton let his words sink in for several minutes before he let go of Loki. The god swayed a little at the loss of the archer’s support and felt his core run cold.

“How long have you known about this?” he asked very carefully. His voice was so…Loki didn’t want to look at him. He couldn’t take seeing the anger and hatred that was surely in his eyes.

“Not long after I had my first encounter with Thor upon waking in the tower. It was when you were training with Natasha. She had you running around. I went to the roof and we spoke of this matter.”

Clint let out a shaky breath. “That’s…” he rubbed his face unsure how he felt about all of this news. It wasn’t what he expected from the scene he’d witnessed in the bathroom. Wow did that put the phrases, ‘a picture is worth a thousand words’ and ‘don’t judge a book by its cover’, into a whole new perspective for him. “That’s a…long time to be…why?” he asked sadly. “Why didn’t you just tell me?”

“I was worried you’d leave me…” he admitted ashamed.

Clint felt like laughing yet knew it was inappropriate. He didn’t really think any of this was funny. He just didn’t know what else to do. And that was a problem because he became angry next. “So what you were going to just keep this to yourself, let us struggle on for the few months we have, and then when the rainbow bridge opened up the sky you were going to turn and say, ‘thanks for the memories’ and leave me? You were going to just leave me!?”

“I thought it was better, and I see that was wrong now,” he tried explaining in an apologetic gentle manner. He still hadn’t looked at the archer and Barton could tell he was bordering on dangerous territory being mad and keeping the god in such a panicked state of mind. He had become so submissive. It scared him to see the way Loki was standing before him. It reminded him of his mother, whenever his father had her backed into a corner. “I thought –” Loki started again.

Clint seized his arms roughly to silence him. He didn’t want to hear it any more. He didn’t want them to talk about this. He wanted to have come back to the room and found Loki reading in bed, or share a special night like what his peek at the bathroom had suggested they were supposed to be having. Instead, he was standing before the one person in the world that he loved above all else, being told that within a few months he could permanently lose him. It wasn’t fair. He didn’t want this. He wanted to take it all and throw it away. He needed to, not only for his own sake, but for Loki’s. Loki matter more.

“I…I love you,” he said, his voice melting into something warm and kind; all of his anger hardened into crystal determination. “Do you hear me Loki? I love you, but I can’t help you if you don’t talk to me.” He pressed his forehead to Loki’s and squeezed his eyes shut as shame, over having been so furious at Loki’s honesty, washed over him. “Please talk to me,” he begged.

“I’m sorry,” Loki whispered and lifted shaky hands to try and touch Clint’s chin.

Barton grabbed them and pressed them to the sides of his face, both of them inhaling sharply as their bond threaded together and all of their internal emotions were laid bare for the other to feel. Clint swallowed down some of the bitter self-loathing Loki’s end flooded into his mind. He knew it wasn’t all from the god or even his fault, yet it still hurt him to feel it.

“I know it’s hard,” he said, trying to help his lover deal with it all. “I know things haven’t been easy and everything is happening so fast, but please…trust me. I know it might be asking a lot, but trust me enough with things like this. Trust that we can get through things, no matter how hard.” He looked at him and waited until the god opened his eyes. “I need you, Loki. You’re my other half.”

“I’m sorry,” Loki whispered again.

Clint tilted their faces and kissed him. They both pulled the other closer and sweet relief swept through them, pushing all other feelings aside to make room for their love for one another. Loki moaned and pulled back to breathe. They both panted as they separated; Clint leaning forward for more, Loki tilting and leaning back. The archer brushed his nose against Loki’s face beseechingly, and the god firmly held him back just enough.

“I – I have something,” he whispered, yet found the temptation of Clint’s kiss to great. He gave in and tasted him again. Barton ran his hands firmly down Loki’s sides and smoothed them around to grab at Loki’s backside. The god inhaled sharply and moaned into the archer’s mouth as he felt him squeeze and scoop him closer to his body. Clint smelled of battle. Not the typical battles Loki had faced with his brother over the years, but the smell of the city was all over the archer, and his shirt was damp with sweat and that masculine scent he always seemed to have about him whenever he fought. “Clint,” he gasped as he managed to turn his head to the side a bit. Oh did he want him… “I have some –”

“Yeah,” he nodded and quickly pressed small kisses all over Loki’s cheek. “Okay,” he exhaled heavily and pulled himself back together as he reluctantly released his hold on him.

“It’s going to lead to this though,” Loki breathed in promise, and then made a small face, “at least I hope.”

“It’s fine,” Clint said and kissed him again, this time a little more chaste. “I trust you,” he whispered sincerely.

Loki felt pride swell within his chest. He gave the archer one more firm and promise-filled kiss before disentangling himself and took a step back. He grinned and hurried to close the bathroom doors. He held his hands out and Clint moved forward to put his hands in them. Loki inhaled confidently and then set the archer before the doors. “Close your eyes,” he whispered in his ear.

It made Clint shiver and he smirked. “Do I have to?” he jokingly teased.

Loki pulled a silken tie from out of thin air and put it around Clint’s eyes. “Yes,” he said and kissed the shell of his ear. Clint shivered again and closed his eyes as everything went dark. He let the god pull him back a bit so that he could throw the doors opened and then lead him inside. The god slowly spun him around a bit and then snapped his fingers and the blindfold vanished.

Clint staggered a little, yet knew Loki had his arms out ready to catch him if he fell. He slowly opened his eyes and looked around. “Wow…” he said. It was much more impressive inside the room than what he’d seen from his little peek. The candle light was warm and inviting; the food, which was Chinese, was set up neatly on the stand next to the tub; there were flower petals in the water; sweet burning incense; and soft Zen-inspirited music, just turned up enough to fill the air with a musical something, yet not too loud to overpower the space. He was completely floored. “Wow…Loki this is…” he frowned and looked at him. “But what if our conversation hadn’t gone well?”

Loki’s smile faded and he shrugged with very little confidence. “I had to trust my intuition that you would hear me and we’d work things out together. Communication, remember?” he grinned a little and moved his hands in a gesture between the two of them that Clint often used. “That’s how things work.”

Clint smiled, “Yeah…that’s how they do.” He looked back around the room and shook his head fully impressed. “Wow…I’m…I’m really ashamed for letting myself become angry now…”

“Don’t,” Loki begged. “You have every right to be cross with me.”

“No,” he shook his head. “I should have been more patient.” He put a hand on the back of Loki’s neck and pressed their foreheads together. “I was being selfish.”

“We both were,” he agreed and rested his hands upon Clint’s chest. He fiddled with one of his zippers and pulled back to look into his eyes questioningly. “Does this please you?”

“Everything you do pleases me,”

“Everything?” he challenged.

“Alright, _almost_ everything. But the everythings that matter the most have always been wonderful,” he promised and kissed him.

Loki hummed and started unzipping his vest. Clint helped him remove it as well as his long sleeve shirt without having to break from their sweet kiss more than once. Loki safely tossed the articles of clothing toward the bedroom floor and then dropped to his knees. Clint bit back a groan as Loki, with expert speed, freed his member and pushed his pants down. The god licked his lips and then flicked his tongue out to taste him. Clint watched as he teasingly licked his head, before gently moving back the small amount of foreskin he had to press kisses to it.

He looked up at Barton and shifted into his natural form as he slowly took the archer’s manhood into his mouth. Clint groaned and set his hands upon Loki’s head as he flicked his tongue over his bottom lip and bit down on it. A sharp spike of arousal shot down him and made him shiver.

The god wasted no time in his work. He never took his eyes off of the archer. The sight of Clint’s face melting; the way his body swayed and tensed as he became aroused; the feel of him thickening in his mouth; his taste; it was perfect and Loki loved every second of it.

He pulled back to swirl his tongue around Clint’s head again. The archer swallowed and exhaled carefully. Loki moved just enough so that his length popped out of his mouth. Clint’s eyes opened to see what was going on. Loki smirked as he licked his lips and leaned forward again. He stuck his tongue out and used it to help move Barton’s length back into his mouth.

Clint groaned and ran his fingers through Loki’s hair. “Yes!” he hissed as goose bumps rose along his person.

Loki moaned and sucked on Clint’s head. The archer’s knees gave a bit and he groaned again. Loki paused to help him sit on the step to the tub and then pulled his pants completely off. He hurried to unlace and remove the archer’s boots and socks and then was right back to where he had been before, letting his tongue slowly brush back and forth over his sensitive head as he sucked it. Clint shifted down a little and opened his legs more, pulling all of Loki’s hair to the side and holding it firmly in one hand.

The god put a hand at his base to help hold Clint’s member as he pulled back and let it go from his mouth with a small noise. He turned his head to the side and pressed loving kisses down his length. Clint’s heart rate and breathing sped up as he watched Loki go even lower. He inhaled sharply when he felt his lips fall upon his scrotum and then swallowed down a moan as Loki carefully sucked one of his balls into his mouth. Loki let his other hand slide up Clint’s torso. The archer moaned and shifted his hips up a little as his touch sent his nerves into a fury. Loki dragged his fingers down and was pleased to see him whimper and move again, begging for more.

He smirked and lifted Barton’s length out of the way so that he could bury his face and tongue into his sac. He inhaled, sucked, licked, kissed, and moaned as he tasted the archer; his saliva getting all over his face in the process, yet he couldn’t bring himself to care. He felt a hand under his chin and he let it lift his head up. Clint’s darkened eyes ate at his insides in a delicious torturous fashion. He licked his lips slowly and let himself be lead up for a kiss.

It was a beautiful kiss. Wet and full of moans of appreciation as they shared the taste of Clint’s sex. Clint pulled at the front strings to Loki’s tunic and opened it enough to easily slide it from him without it catching on his chin. He let his fingers play along his warm skin; tracing his birthlines along with the dips and curves of his figure. He felt Loki shiver and he pressed forward to deepen their kiss as he toyed with the buttons of his trousers.

The god helped him unfasten and remove his own pants and undergarments from his kneeling position. Clint tossed the clothes to the side and set his hands on the god’s long delicious throat. He gently guided Loki down so that he was looking up at him again. The god slowly wet his lips as he gazed up at him and waited. The archer traced Loki’s mouth with a thumb and was greatly pleased when the god took it prisoner between his lips.

He sucked on it and moved his head back and forth to slide it in and out. Clint pulled it away and Loki’s mouth opened and tried following it. Barton held tightly to his hair to prevent him from doing so and then offered his finger. Loki’s tongue flicked out and tickled up the side of it before he was allowed to draw it into his mouth. It was followed by Clint’s middle and ring fingers. Loki groaned and tilted his head as he closed his eyes and sucked on them. Just before he could place the lubrication spell on them, Clint pulled them abruptly from his mouth and gripped him by the throat.

Loki looked up at him and waited patiently, something within him bursting in delight over such a dominant gesture. It made his heart pound wildly and his muscles tense with excitement.

Clint tilted his head up a bit and in a very serious and soft tone, ordered, “You will prepare yourself.”

Loki’s body shivered at the demand. He licked his lips and swallowed down a needy moan. He brought his fingers up and rubbed his thumb over their tips. The spell activated and he brought them down between his legs.

Clint directed his head back toward his erection and Loki lost himself to the task and taste of pleasuring the archer orally as he teased and worked himself opened. He was still a little loose from their previous amorous activities that week, so it didn’t take long for him to move from two fingers to carefully easing in a third into his passage. He began moving them quickly in the same fashion as he moved his mouth up and down Clint’s length.

The archer groaned and gripped his hair tightly with both hands. Loki surrendered his neck and face willingly, letting the archer control how he desired his mouth to be upon him. Clint was considerate and gentle, even in the rough manner he pushed and pulled Loki’s head. He lifted his hips a bit, holding himself all the way down the god’s throat for a few seconds before releasing him to let him draw a breath.

Loki’s mouth and chin were covered in spit and damn it was hot for both of them. Clint pulled him back and was pleased to see Loki eagerly open his mouth, putting his member back in between his lips, ready to deep throat him again. He let him and swore as Loki’s other hand pushed and rubbed at his perineum.

He let the god breath again and brushed his hair back from his face. Loki looked up at him as he wiped his chin and mouth off. He hadn’t stopped fingering himself, and the way Clint was watching him was making his skin crawl in a delightful manner.

“Does it feel good?” he asked, his voice deep and raw with desire. Loki nodded his head slowly, biting at his lips to keep a moan from slipping out. Clint grabbed his throat gently and tilted his head up. “Tell me,” he commanded.

Loki inhaled a shaky breath as his skin broke into goose bumps. He could feel his nipples pull and harden painfully and it only added to it all. “Why don’t I just let you feel?” he offered in a sultry manner.

Clint shook his head. “I can feel it if I want. I want you to _tell_ me.”

Loki swallowed quickly and nodded his head. “Good,” he moaned and closed his eyes as he pushed his fingers deeper. “So good…” he sighed with a shiver.

Clint chuckled. “Better than my cock?” he asked in a teasing dirty manner.

“No,” he moaned as he shook his head quickly. “Nothing is better than your cock inside of me.”

“Damn right,” he whispered and went to kiss the god. He stopped and Loki could sense a small amount of hesitant worry. He opened his eyes to indeed find Clint’s worried look. “I’m not being too weird and making you uncomfortable, am I?” he asked uncertain.

Loki shook his head reassuringly. “I love it,” he confessed and then squeezed his eyes shut with a moan as his fingers played against his sweet spot. “In fact,” he breathed and looked back up at the archer innocently. “You may tighten your grip if you so desire.”

“Yeah?” he asked excitedly as his eyes lit up.

Loki nodded with a wicked smirk. “Oh yes,” he breathed.

Clint squeezed a little harder and Loki moaned. “I take it you don’t mind it extra rough and dirty?”

“Yes,” he panted and closed his eyes again as he really started working his fingers in and out of himself. “Yes! Please!” he gasped.

Clint’s other hand shot down and gripped Loki’s wrist, preventing him from playing with his entrance any longer. The god looked up at him, his eyes begging for the mercy of release, yet Clint wasn’t ready for that yet. “Do you want me inside of you?” Loki nodded with eager enthusiasm. “Say it.”

“Please,” he begged excitedly.

“I said ‘ _say it_ ’,” he corrected him and tightened his grip on his throat and wrist.

Loki gasped and furrowed his brows as electricity ran through his veins. Perhaps Clint could endure his unusual cravings during his heat cycle… “I want you inside of me,” he breathed with a small moan. “Please. I _need_ you inside of me.”

Clint smirked, highly pleased and aroused, and brought Loki’s fingers carefully out of his hole. He guided his hand up and presented them before Loki’s mouth. He began sucking on them without a moment’s hesitation and never took his eyes from Clint’s. The archer’s body gave a jerk as need crept up his spine. He pulled Loki’s fingers from his mouth. “How do they taste?”

Loki hummed and licked his lips. “Mulberries…” he said with such a devilish grin. “Sun ripened _fresh_ mulberries…”

“Any cream?” he smirked.

“Perhaps a little later,” he replied to the dirty joke and pulled at his bottom lip with his top teeth slowly.

Clint’s mouth watered and he kissed him. He tasted delicious. “I forgot you had Wonka-magic lubricant,” he said against’ Loki’s lips. The god frowned at him confused. “The spell,” he explained. “When you taste the lubricant it’s flavour is whatever you desire it to be. I forgot it did that.”

“Oh,” Loki said and then grinned wickedly. “Am I to be rewarded for such skill?” he purred.

Clint’s laugh held a small growling groan, and he kissed him again. He released his throat and pulled the god up against his body. He smoothed his hands down Loki’s back and gripped his ass. He kneaded the soft round flesh before pulling his hand back and gave it a firm slap. Loki moaned and jumped a bit surprised at the act, yet relaxed and let the tingling feeling the slap left seep into his body.

Barton pulled the god tighter to him and moved his fingers to slowly creep toward Loki’s hole. The god moved a little, and Clint’s right arm went across his back and held him still. He slipped them between his cheeks and then pushed three fingers easily into him. Loki jerked and made a noise as he broke out of their kiss. He tried pushing against the archer to give himself room to move, yet he found himself trapped. He moaned and buried his head into Clint’s shoulder as the archer pushed his fingers in and out of him. Clint smirked as he tortured him for a little while.

He alternated the speed at which he moved his fingers. A steady rhythm that made Loki’s skin break into tiny goose bumps, and then slow…so slow. Each push in made Loki moan in frustration and try to move back onto them for more. Clint didn’t give in. He only held him tighter and swirled them around teasing him. Then he was back to the steady pace from before, but only for a short time. Loki’s frustration built when he slowed again and he made his displeasure known by biting at Clint’s neck. The archer pulled his hand back and slapped Loki’s rear hard. He jumped with a small shout and then moaned when Clint pushed his fingers back in. This time though, he moved them quickly, aiming right for Loki’s prostate. The god’s startled sounds were delicious, and the way they echoed off the bathroom walls made his skin prickle.

When he let him go, Loki melted with a moan of relief; his nerves were completely fried. He shuddered and slumped in Clint’s arms.

The archer smoothed his hands along his back and kissed his temple. “You alright?” he asked.

Loki hummed contently.

“Still want it rough and dirty?”

Loki hummed again.

Clint chuckled and helped him straighten. They shared a quick kiss before Loki turned and dropped to his hands, lifting his backside a bit in an invitingly manner as he gazed back at the archer. Clint’s hands shot out to grip his waist and he pressed himself against him, rolling his hips as his member slid between Loki’s round blue cheeks. The god moaned and pushed back; lowering his upper body to ensure his position would give both of them the best and most amount of pleasure possible.

Barton spread Loki’s cheeks, taking a moment to admire the sight of him in such a position, and pushed into him. Loki let out a soft “ah!” and then moaned; covering his face with his hands as the archer’s length slowly filled him. His skin prickled with anticipation and his legs began to shake.

“Let me see your face,” Clint ordered gently. Loki turned his face to look at him. The archer smiled and then began moving. Both of them emitted noises of satisfaction as Clint sunk deeper. Clint kept his hands firm on Loki’s body, a reminder that even though his actions were gentle and slow now, the god was going to get it soon. And he couldn’t wait.

Loki really couldn’t. He moved back, encouraging Clint to go deeper. He even leaned on one of his shoulders so that he could reach behind him and pull his cheeks apart with both hands. Clint groaned and pushed forward more. The god gave a small encouraging shout of ecstasy. It felt so good, but the floor and his shoulder were not great friends and he soon had to put his hand down to support himself up on that one side.

Clint clapped him on the rear again and Loki shouted with delight. His legs tensed and his toes pushed into the floor a bit. The archer used a little strength to tug at his hips as he came back. It let him sink more into the god and they both sighed in appreciation.

It was enough now that Clint could start building speed. Loki braced himself on the tile and let Clint have his way with him. It was worth it. So worth it. His knees felt awful, but the way the archer’s member moved in and out of him, the feel of their skin coming closer and closer together, his fingers digging into him, controlling the way his body rocked back and forth – it took his breath away.

“Your face,” Clint gasped and slowed when Loki had moved to bury his face into his arms.

Loki pushed himself in half and turned his upper body to look at him. Clint began moving faster again and Loki felt pleasure sweep up his spine. It made his eyes roll up into his head and he lost control of his voice.

Clint pounded him. Loki could barely breathe, and it was due not only from the obscure way his body was bent and twisted, but because his prostate was now being hit dead on. He cried out and choked as he gasped in small gulps of air. He felt tears in his eyes and fire along every part of him. He felt fingers in his hair and pain as his head was yanked back. His fingers flexed into the tile and he shouted in rapture at the ceiling.

A hand slid up his side and then around to hold at the middle of his chest. He could feel Clint’s hot breath in his ear and it made him shiver. There was a tugging sensation which made him feel as though he were falling and he gave a shout. His hands flew behind him and landed on Clint’s thighs. He felt the archer pull him back to bounce up and down, with hard long motions in his lap. Each time he landed down, Barton’s member slipped deep into him. He gasped as he stared with wide watery eyes at the ceiling.

Clint kissed the side of his face and let his hand run further up his chest. His fingers played over Loki’s long throat and he covered it in kisses as he thrust his hips up and changed the pace again. Loki cried out and let a hand shoot up to tangle into Clint’s hair. The archer’s other hand came across his lap and held him firmly there.

Loki groaned highly frustrated as he was forced to endure their hips being pressed together. Clint moved his in a slow sensual rolling motion. It made Loki’s muscles clench and his lower half become very hyperaware of the way Clint filled him. He sighed relaxing a little and let his eyes flutter closed.

“Are you enjoying yourself?” he asked still pressing kisses and tracing his fingers over Loki’s throat.

The god groaned and squirmed hoping the archer would take him fast and hard again.

Clint laughed, knowing full well what he wanted. He brushed his fingers up the side of Loki’s neck and then gripped his hair down at the base of his scalp. He pushed Loki down as he lifted his hips up and held the god’s body in place, preventing him from really being able to move at all. Loki moaned, his fingers tightening in Clint’s hair as his other hand flitted about, pulling at him. Barton released Loki’s hair and gripped his throat. The god shivered and held onto Clint’s wrists with both of his hands. The archer kissed his shoulder and began thrusting his hips up, leaning back a little to get a good angle.

Loki gasped and then cried out, his hands pulling at Clint’s; his body trying to move; trying to hold on; to feel, to breathe, to keep from bursting at the seams with ecstasy. It was all so overwhelming that Loki knew he couldn’t make it much longer.

Clint sensed it when the bond struck out and hit against his end in a rather violent clumsy manner. He carefully pulled his side of the connection back a bit and then stopped his motions to give Loki a breather. He was really doing a number on the god: his skin was flushed, his body was sweating, and his breathing was ragged. Barton rubbed his hands soothingly along Loki’s sides and chest.

The god moaned and carefully leaned forward onto his hands and then elbows. He sighed and licked his lips as he brushed his fingers through his hair and moaned.

“You okay?” Clint asked massaging his hips.

Loki nodded and cleared his throat. “It was all…much more than I originally anticipated.”

“Good or bad?” he inquired and massaged his thighs.

He smirked, “Good.” He sighed and straightened before leaning back into Clint’s warm chest. “So good,” he breathed and then hummed when he felt Clint’s hands rub his chest comfortingly.

“Do you want more?” he teased into his ear.

Loki hummed and nodded weakly, his hole tightening a little. He moaned when he felt it compress against Clint’s solid length.

“Do you still want it rough?”

Loki turned apologetic ruby eyes to the archer. “Would it displease you if we saved it for another night?”

He shook his head. “Not at all.”

“I had…” Loki’s cheeks darkened and he turned his face away embarrassed.

“What?” Clint smiled curiously.

“I had this…it’s stupid,” he shrugged half hoping the archer would drop it.

“Tell me love,” he whispered against his skin.

Loki shivered. “I had this…fantasy…of this evening. As I set it up…”

“Did I ruin it?”

“No, you enhanced it,” he admitted with a breathy chuckle.

They laughed and Clint kissed his cheek. “Well then, as a way to show my appreciation, tell me what I need to do and I’ll help you fulfil your fantasy.”

Loki shivered again, his smile widening as he nodded and they carefully parted and rose. Clint gave Loki’s ass an appreciative gentle pat, and he grinned very pleased with himself when he noticed the god’s legs tremble. Loki rolled his eyes and dragged him to the tub. They stepped in and he pushed Clint to sit down before straddling his lap.

“I’m liking it so far,” Clint said with a large smile.

Loki grabbed him by his hair and without a word or explanation, he began kissing him. Clint sighed and ran is hands down Loki’s back, feeling the way his body shook under his wet warm touch.

Loki slipped a hand between them and held Clint’s length as he seated himself upon him. He slowly lowered himself and then began to move.

The mood changed and so did the music. It became rich and warm. Something with barely a brush of jazz and Clint’s smile faded as he felt a whole new form of arousal hit him. It was intense in a feeling sort of way; something that screamed profoundly intimate.

There was touch: the feel of his skin pressed against him; the water and sweat rolling down their bodies; the thudding of his heart; the water bobbing up and down around them; his length moving in and out of him; his hands all over him; the vibrations of his moans as they kissed; the warmth of it all.

Then smell: his breath; his skin; the incense; the food; the candles burning; of sex.

Sounds: the music; his moans and sighs; the smacking of their lips as they kissed; the water sloshing as they moved; the sound of their body rubbing and shifting against the surface of the tub.

He tasted everything: his sweat; his kiss; his skin; his sounds of bliss; the sex in the air; the cinnamon in the incense; the promise of sweet wine, and glazed pieces of chicken.

And the sight: of him; moving above him and moaning below him.

It was the rawest form of passion either of them had ever endured. It was hot and slightly vocal and it felt _so_ amazing. They couldn’t stop moaning and touching one another as they kissed. Yes, this most definitely was a fantasy Clint didn’t mind fulfilling. He felt Loki’s body jerk in his arms and he knew they were close.

The god gasped, his head falling back a bit. Clint shifted a little and wrapped his arms around his waist, letting the god lean back as he bounced up and down faster. Loki held onto Clint’s bend legs and road him without a thought or care. He was driven by the instinct for release.

“To-touch yourself,” Clint begged staring up at Loki’s beautiful face lovingly.

The god swallowed down a noise and grabbed himself with one hand. The bond finished connecting and both of them shivered. He sped up, knowing that the strong arms holding them wouldn’t let them fall. He looked so beautiful, so perfect, so at peace. He was so close. He could feel it. The need was driving him insane. He loved him. He loved him so much. He was so beautiful. He helped encourage him on. He kissed him to help him focus. Fingers dug into his skin. His mouth opened as louder shouts of enjoyment rose within him. He tightened his hand around his member. He pressed kisses along his chest. He thrusted up hard. He threw his head back and cried out as his whole body shook and the dam holding him back broke.

They came. Loki and Clint’s hands were both holding onto his member, helping to jerk him off as he barely bounced up and down upon his lap, just enough to continue stimulating Clint, yet not as much as either of them would have liked for Loki’s muscles were wound incredibly tight and to allow much more would have hurt him. Clint’s other hand was holding his rear, his fingers digging into his flesh just as the fingers of Loki’s other hand where digging into Clint’s shoulder.

The god exhaled and leaned forward, burying his face into Clint’s shoulder as they panted for air.

“Oh yeah,” Clint sighed breathless as he relaxed into the tub, his muscles tensing and relaxing in time with Loki’s as his body finished coming.

Loki hummed a little. Clint smiled and moved their hands along his length. The god tensed and moaned; his body jerking a bit, pushing Clint’s member out of him, and then he relaxed completely against the archer.

“There we go,” he whispered. Loki wanted to slap his chest for his comment, yet found he hadn’t the strength or will at the moment. They lay for a while not really doing anything. The water slowly turned cold.

Loki only moved to fix it when he felt Clint’s teeth start to chatter. He carefully moved off of the archer’s lap and pulled the plug. Water began spiralling down the drain rapidly. The god picked up their loofa and started scrubbing them down. Clint eagerly helped.

“Stop,” Loki hissed and slapped his hands away from his member.

“I want to touch,” he whined a little and kissed at Loki’s chest. He shivered again as the last of the water drained quickly away from around them.

“I am very well aware of this desire,”

“You like it,” he said and rubbed soapy suds all over Loki eagerly.

The god smiled. “Yes, I do,” he purred and then sobered up. “But our food is going to go cold.”

“I thought dinner was you,” he said gently biting at his shoulder as he got onto his knees and wrapped his arms around him.

“No, I’m dessert,” Loki smiled at him before they kissed.

“Oh lucky me,” he chuckled.

“Shame you had to have dessert before dinner,” Loki sighed with pity and pulled out of Clint’s arms to turn the water on.

Clint narrowed his eyes at him. “Oh I’ll have dessert again,” he promised.

Loki chuckled and began hosing them off with the handheld shower head. Clint helped him, yet Loki continuously had to gently stop him from getting too handsy several times. Not that he minded. He really enjoyed the attention and touch, but he also really enjoyed teasing the archer.

When they were both cleaned off, Loki put the plug back into the drain and began filling the tub up with very hot water again. He sat near the food and pulled Clint to him. He kissed him; sweetly and lovingly. The archer hummed and ran a hand down Loki’s leg. The god’s leg trembled and he gently grabbed up Clint’s hand.

“You must eat,” he chided and kissed his knuckles.

“I’m trying to,” he said leaning into Loki and then made a growling noise and gently bit at his throat.

Loki laughed and playfully slapped his shoulder. “Clinton!” he cried out and then moaned as his teeth bit harder into his skin. “Oh Clinton…” he moaned louder and wrapped his arms around him, holding him closer. Clint let his throat go and kissed the spot.

They looked at one another for a moment.

_I love you_ , Loki whispered to him and brought their foreheads together. He squeezed his eyes closed and inhaled sharply through his nose. _I love you so deeply it terrifies me. Please forgive me for being so selfish earlier?_

_Sh, it’s fine,_ he said and kissed him. He grinned as he looked at him. _Do you still want to marry me and stuff?_

Loki smiled. _Of course I do Little Hawk._

“Oh…” his grin widened as he chuckled, pulling Loki closer. “I haven’t heard that in a while.”

Loki realised he was right. He hadn’t really been calling him that recently. “Do you honestly enjoy it?” he asked and brushed stray hairs from Clint’s forehead.

“Of course. It’s your pet name for me. I like it,”

Loki smiled and kissed him once more before they both let go and turned toward their food. Clint poured them a glass of wine as Loki went to turn the water off. It was nice and hot now, and they relaxed into the bath for a time, sharing a meal together, careful not to drop any food into the water. Well Loki was, anyways. Clint dropped a noodle and he wasn’t about to let it go to waste, so he scooped it up and ate it.

“What?” he asked when he noticed Loki’s scrutinising face.

He shook his head, one eye brow cocked up as he looked down at his food.

“You’re judging me,”

“I am not,”

“You are,” he insisted waving his chopsticks at the god. “You are judging me.”

“Never,” he promised.

“Don’t say ‘never’, because I need you to talk me out of stupid shit, because I’m going to do a lot of stupid shit. You’re stuck with me, and I’m going to drive you insane,”

Loki chuckled and drank some wine. “What makes you think you haven’t already?”

“Hey now,” he said pointing his sticks at him with a pouty glare.

Loki set his nearly empty plate down and moved closer to him, offering his lips out for a kiss. Clint wasn’t biting. “I never said I didn’t like insane,” he whispered nuzzling their noses together. Clint couldn’t refuse him then. He kissed him. He tasted so sweet. Barton hurried to put his plate down. He took the glass from Loki’s hand, breaking their kiss to take a quick sip, and then set it down.

Loki knew that look in his eyes; he had something planned. He moved back a bit as Clint moved toward him, pressing him into the side of the tub.

“Clint…” he whispered as the archer leaned into him. They kissed and Loki felt something. A request. He did as Clint wished and set his hands upon his shoulders as he opened his legs and let Clint kneel between them.

“Do you trust me?” Clint asked with a happy grin at the corner of his mouth.

“Yes…” Loki breathed with a small nod; excitement building within him in little bursts.

Clint offered him the fingers of his left hand. Loki lifted his right and ran his over Clint’s, activating the spell. Clint leaned forward to kiss him. It was gentle, sweet. He ran his other hand down Loki’s side. Loki shivered and pulled back out of the kiss. Clint’s smile was warm and his eyes were so loving with just a touch of sensual hunger in the centre. Loki smiled as well and the second time Clint leaned forward for a kiss, it made electricity spread through him. He arched into him with a soft moan and ran his hands along his shoulders.

He gently pushed his fingers into Loki. The way his breath hitched made Clint’s body break out into goose bumps. He leaned forward and pressed kisses to Loki’s face as he began slowly moving his fingers. Loki moaned and shifted, bringing his legs closer to Clint and set his hands upon him: one at the back of his neck, the other at his shoulder. His fingers flexed into his damp skin as he swallowed and focused on the sensations slowly sweeping up his body.

It always felt so different when someone teased and touched him compared to when he touched and teased himself. Both were pleasurable in their own rights, but there was always something more with someone else in control. Loki supposed it wasn’t so much as someone else being in control as it was the surprise of what they would do. With his own fingers, he knew what places needed to be pushed and how much more pleasure he could draw out of himself; with Clint’s it was a guessing game of which the archer was highly skilled at not only bring shockingly stunning sensations to his body at the right moments, but knowingly denying him what he wanted desperately.

Clint pushed his fingers into Loki with a small twist of his wrist. He kept one arm firmly around the god in case his wiggling should cause him to slip too far down. Indeed there was a close call, but Loki helped steady himself by setting a firm hand at the bottom of the tub and leaned himself toward Clint’s hot mouth. He dragged his fingernails down the back of his neck and watched as goose bumps raced along his skin. Barton shivered and gently nipped at Loki’s ear.

The god moaned and relaxed back into the water, only to tense as his thick fingers hit the right spot. He inhaled sharply and squeezed Clint with his legs. Oh it was sore…but so amazing… The archer kissed the side of his face and very carefully moved out from between them. Loki felt the loss of his warmth immediately and shivered. Clint kissed his forehead as he settled to kneel next to him. He pushed his fingers back into the god and encouraged him to relax again.

Loki switched the hand he used to help steady himself and rubbed at Clint’s neck and the top part of his shoulder, staring into his eyes beseechingly, as he carefully worked him up and over the edge. His legs shifted in the water, toes curling and uncurling as three fingers became two and quickened, hitting all of his most sensitive spots. He gasped and let his head drop back, swallowing a moan. He clenched his teeth together and panted through his nose as he squeezed his eyes shut and focused.

His fingers were the conductors and the electricity that shot from them made him tingle and all over. It was a slow creep that started out in goose bumps, turned to small jerks and shivers, and morphed finally into loud gasps and the need to move; for he felt if he didn’t do something to ease the tension he would surely burst.

Clint kissed the god’s neck tenderly. It was a very different sensation than the one he was creating with his fingers, and it made Loki nearly slip under the surface of the water as a particularly violent stab of desire hit him. He let go of the archer and used that hand to hold onto the rim of the tub near his head.

“Clinton!” he gasped as his fingers pushed and played over his prostate again and again.

“Yeah baby,” he smirked watching him with wicked enjoyment. “Are you gonna cum?”

Loki moaned and tilted his head back as he brought his legs up to his body more. Clint’s arm prohibited him from fully curling inward, but just rubbing against it helped ease the ache. He turned more toward the archer and slipped down a bit. That did the trick, for Clint’s fingers hit right where he wanted them too.

He groaned loudly as his eyes rolled back into his head.

Clint kissed up his throat. “Touch yourself,” he whispered.

Loki’s hand flew to comply. He didn’t waste any time with his actions; nothing prolonged or erotic, just hard quick jerks to help him along. He ran his thumb over his head. Clint sucked on his nipple and moved his fingers faster. That did it. Loki came. It was a bit unexpected, for he thought he could at least hold out a little longer, yet the sweet release flooded into every part of him and he tensed, his hand only stroking his head as his body gave off little jerks.

He looked beautiful. His mouth opened in a silent “o”, brows furrowed, shaking all over, skin flushed, and eyes fluttering closed.

Clint covered every inch of him that he could in adoring kisses. Loki wrapped his hands around his neck and held him still for several minutes. When the shock of his orgasm passed, he slowly released his hold.

“I’m glad you enjoyed it,” he smiled and withdrew his fingers.

Loki gently hit his shoulder.

“What?”

“Nothing…” he breathed and realised just how much it had affected him. He was suddenly horridly exhausted, but in a very pleased and tingly sort of way.

Clint laughed. Loki hit his shoulder again, this time with a touch more force, but it only prompted him to laugh harder. He lay back against the tub and pulled Loki flush against him. The god felt like melted Jell-O. He just slumped in Clint’s arms, trusting the archer to keep him afloat.

Clint retrieved the glass of wine and offered it first to Loki. The god took a drink, with a little help, and hummed.

“Feeling good?” he laughed in Loki’s ear.

“Fantastic actually,” he smiled.

“Yeah I have that effect on people,” he shrugged a bit and took a small drink before setting the glass back.

“I’ll get you back…” he softly vowed.

“Oh yeah?” Clint grinned excitedly and wrapped his arms around Loki.

“Yes,” he replied and forced himself to not add a small pout with his words. “You’ll never see it coming.”

“But I’ll be coming,”

Loki hit Clint with the back of his hand, his action not really holding much threat as he was finding it hard to stay awake. The water was so warm, his stomach was contently full of sweet wine and sticky succulent foods, and Clint’s smell was all around him. He sighed heavily and closed his eyes.

Clint kissed his temple lovingly. “Hey,” he whispered, and Loki gave a small start and opened his eyes.

“Hm?” he hummed and shifted just the tiniest bit.

“I love you,”

Loki’s mouth twitched into a very pleased grin. “I love you…” he whispered.

“I won’t let you go,” he promised. “No matter what happens, I’ll stay by your side.”

Loki leaned a little to the side so that he could look at the archer. He gently touched his face, his fingertips playing over his strong features, before he leaned his forward. Clint brought his down as well and they shared a sweetly loving kiss. Loki pressed his forehead to Clint’s; he kept his eyes shut, yet couldn’t stop the large smile that graced his lips. He bit at them to try and keep it hidden, but he was far too relieved and overwhelmed with happiness to truly try.

They would make it work. He hadn’t the faintest how they would manage, but something deep within his soul warmly sang that it would. Loki only had to trust Clint. Trust their love. And he did; with every fibre of his existence he did, so he put his faith in the archer and found peace over the matter.

The darkness bristled unhappily and slithered out of Loki’s attentions; keeping it’s own plans silent for now.


	43. Chapter 43

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *flops onto the ground dead* I did it! I survived a whole season at a theme park. It was awful, and I'm glad it's over. The job wasn't bad; the people I worked with were great (except the _one_ dude-teen in our group, who was seriously a mean spoiled brat); it was the security (because they literally wouldn't do anything) and the guests that were a problem. I don't think I've been sexually harassed so much in my life, and I looked like a lizard from space in grubby pirate gear! I tell you, I sometimes forget how sexist, body-shaming, and victim blaming the world is until I interact with real people and it makes me sick with sadness.
> 
> Regardless I am back and I want to thank you all for being so tremendously patient and wonderful! Here is the chapter. I would have posted it on the 1st, but it was so long it took a while to edit. I hope the length makes up for making you all wait more than a month.
> 
> All grammar mistakes are my own. If something doesn't make sense please let me know and I'll fix it. I've had some problems posting this one, and I'm not sure if it's because it's like 50 pages or if it's because of the bugs that are happening in the text spot, but I've done my best to try and get it all here. Marvel owns the characters; not I. The other day was Marvel's 75th Birthday - YAY! - and Happy belated All Hallow's Eve, Day of the Dead, and other holidays that you all observe during this time.
> 
> Please enjoy.

\----------------------43----------------------

Clint rolled over and moaned. He was drifting between the warm comfort of his dream and the gentle reality of the world. Both felt so good, he honestly couldn’t decide which he preferred to stay in. He felt a hand trace up his leg in reality at the same time soft lips found his stomach in the dream. He moaned and shifted a little.

It was so perfect in his dream. Comforting weight near him, sweet kisses, a hand firmly planted on his chest, gentle…peaceful.

There was a pinch on his thigh and he winced as he was pulled toward reality more. A warm wet tongue was pressed over the spot and with several soothing kisses he settled back into the dream.

_He was lying on a plush dark green chase lounge in an open room. The light was bright golden yet soft. The air smelled delicious and of sweet flowers and rich foods. It was a little muggy, yet not overly uncomfortable. He was dressed in a pair of flaxen dark plum trousers and had a necklace with a heavy twisted golden winged-serpent, which hung at the centre of his bare chest upon a black leather cord. He turned his head and found Loki walking toward him._

Hands slid up his thighs slowly and he shivered. Hot breath ghosted over his skin.

_He was dressed in loose dark green pants and a baggy matching top embroidered with gold and silver knotted swirls along the neckline. Clint grinned as he saw the god approach him with a shy smile; one hand resting over his burgeoning stomach, the other hanging by his side; the large ring upon his finger caught Clint’s eye and made his heart brighten._

_He still couldn’t believe how lucky he was: waking up every morning next to him; antagonising him; loving him; joking with him; working with him; seriously making love to him; living his life with him, and he got to do forever. Well, forever was a term humans used, and he was starting to see how it meant very little to those who lived such long lives._

_The light of the day caught on the two necklaces that rested between Loki’s swollen breasts: one of a blue briolette drop crystal upon a fine silver chain and a longer leather cord with an identical twisted winged-serpent in shinning silver. Clint held out his hand and Loki took it as he carefully crawled into his lap._

_“Hey…” he whispered kissing his knuckles._

_“Hey,” Loki replied and leaned down to kiss him. His stomach got in the way and they chuckled, as they normally did when such a thing happened. Clint sat up a bit when they tried again and the act was met with better success._

_“How are you feeling?” he asked tracing his knuckles along Loki’s chin lovingly._

_“Better,”_

_“Yeah?” Clint’s smile widened._

_“Yes,” he laughed and snuggled down in the large chasse lounge with the archer as best as he could. “Must you go out again?” he asked brushing his fingers through Clint’s hair with a tired sigh._

_“It is my duty and my honour to perform the celebratory hunts until you perform the celebratory birth,” he said in a superior stuffy voice, imitating Odin yet again._

_Loki chuckled and pushed on Clint’s chest a little. “Be kind,” he reprimanded._

_“I am,”_

Gentle hands played over his stomach. He moaned and set his hands over top of them. He wanted to kiss them again as he had a moment ago.

_“I love you,” he whispered and kissed Loki’s hand in adoration, moving from the back of it, over his knuckles, his wedding ring, and finally to his palm._

_“And I love you,” he said and turned Clint’s face so that he could kiss him. “I’m sorry for earlier.”_

_“I mean I was the one that ate all of the grapes.”_

_“But I shouldn’t have shouted and thrown fruit at you,”_

Clint moaned as lips pressed along his pelvis. He moved a hand down and grasped soft hair.

_He ran his fingers through Loki’s soft long hair. He loved how long it was now; how lovely it was braided today. The little flowers woven along it was a sure indicator that Esgar and the twins had done it. “You’re pregnant…it’s understandable,” he said with a dismissive shrug._

_“You’re too forgiving…” he whispered with a smile._

_“And you’re too gorgeous for words,” he said and kissed him._

A tongue dragged up his length and he jerked awake with a sharp inhale. He looked around and rubbed his eyes as his mind settled into wakefulness. He looked down and found a large lump between his legs.

He hummed and stretched; his legs brushing against, what he guessed to be, Loki. The god set his hands on Clint’s thighs and slowly slid them up and around his waist as he stretched under the sheets. “Morning…” he sighed.

“Good morning,” he said with a small exhale as he relaxed and kissed at his hip.

“Is this that payback I was promised last night?”

“Perhaps,” he said and nipped at his skin.

Clint jerked and moaned, setting his hands on the bump that was Loki’s head. “Well I’m definitely surprised.”

“Hmmm,” he hummed and moved the covers down to poke his head out with a smile. Clint was more than surprised, and greatly pleased, to see him in his Jötunn form. “You seem it,” he said and ran his fingers teasingly over Clint’s hard-on as he gazed with beautiful ruby eyes up at him. They flashed longing and that sparkling devious nature Clint had fallen in love with at first sight.

He swallowed thickly. “Believe me, I am…”

Loki chuckled and began kissing his member with slow appreciation as he looked up at him. “What were you dreaming?” he asked letting his lips play over the soft hot skin. His bottom lip dragged sensually, causing Clint’s nerves to tug in toward his belly sharply.

“What?” he swallowed as arousal flashed through him, making his chest and ears heat up.

“Your dream…I heard you muttering…”

“What did I say?”

Loki laughed and shook his head. “Not saying,” he said in a teasing tone.

“I don’t know what I said…” he admitted honestly with a sigh and arched a bit when Loki dragged his tongue along his erection.

Loki hummed amused and pulled the sheet back over his head. He took a hold of Clint and began stroking him slowly, using his tongue to help ease the process and make it more comfortable for the archer. Clint slipped his hands under to try and help him, but Loki grabbed them. He wiggled out from under the sheets, giving Clint a hard look as he set his hands on the pillow to either side of his head.

“No,” he said firmly. Oh that pout!

Clint went to move them to try and tease the god about out his lips pursed, yet found he couldn’t. He looked down at Loki confused, but the god only smirked and hid himself from view again. Clint expected him to start right back up where he had left off, but found nothing. The god only laid there, his hot breath on his aroused member, unmoving.

Clint swallowed and worried he was being judged. He tried moving again and something tingled at his wrists. He knew Loki was using magic to keep him in place. It was not only driving him crazy but the suspense of waiting. It made the hairs on his body stand on end and he felt a fluttering sensation in his lower belly. Before he could say anything, he felt Loki’s mouth on him and he gasped in surprise.

A tongue tickled up his length. Hot lips pressed down and then he was sucking his balls. Clint moved his hips a bit. Loki’s hands pressed down, holding him in place as he dragged his tongue back up his length. He traced the top of his head and then sucked on it.

Clint swallowed and closed his eyes as he felt and personally understood where he got the title “Silver Tongue” from. He couldn’t see him, which made everything even more tantalising as Loki’s tongue flicked out to dance along his veins; sucking his head and his sac; rubbing his face all over his member; bobbing his head up and down, tilting his face at just the right angle at all of the right movements; deep throating him…

He gave a small “ah” and tried thrusting up into him. Loki firmly held his hips in place, but Clint’s legs shifted a little. He pulled at his invisible restraints and arched a little off the bed. Loki returned his attention to Clint’s sac for a while and used his hand to slowly jerk him off. It was a wonderful feeling, and although he never wanted his mouth on his balls to go away, he was aching for other things. He wanted him to squeeze a little harder; he needed that tongue to stop teasing him before he went insane; he wanted those long elegant fingers inside of him; and he needed that hot mouth around him again. It felt like forever before he had one of those wishes granted. He groaned as he was blessed with the feel of Loki’s lips around him again.

As Loki sucked on his head, he chose to run his hands along Clint’s thighs and pelvis; gently massaging and further stimulating him.

Clint swallowed and moaned pitifully. “Loki…”

The god dragged his tongue from base to head and then kissed down one of his thighs. Barton knew where he was going and he tried to move his leg out of the way. No success.

Loki’s tongue was scorching as he swiped it along the tender side of his knee. He attempted to save his leg, yet found Loki’s grip tight. He kissed and sucked the skin in a loving torturous way. It made Clint’s body break into goose bumps and his insides twist. To make matters worse or better, but in a way that definitely frustrated him, Loki used his other hand to gently brush the backs of his fingers along Barton’s length while he tortured his sensitive knee.

Clint knew he wasn’t going to make it long. Not with the sharp spiking sensations that raked through his system down to his groin. Wow was he grossly unprepared for this wakeup call. He couldn’t hold back the noises that slipped from his mouth and knew any one awake at that hour could surely hear them; regardless of how far down the hall or wherever they were in the house. It had to have been just after six, for the sky was still that medium foggy blue and the birds sounded as though they were only just rising. Barton pondered on how it probably would have been a very lovely morning to sit and have a hot drink and watch the sun rise, but Clint was obviously too busy celebrating that glorious moment in other ways.

“Fuck!” he hissed as Loki dragged his tongue down his inner thigh; his whole leg trembling from the wave of electricity that rolled through him. Loki set Clint’s leg down and the archer groaned as Loki took him back into his mouth and deep throated him without pause. “Oh baby… _please_!” he whispered and threw his head back, his fingers spreading wide and then tightening into closed fists. His toes curled as he pressed his heels into the bedding.

Loki’s hands slipped under his rear and pushed up a bit, gently encouraging him to move his hips. He braced his feet on the bed and did so, a little too enthusiastically at first, for Loki’s hand came to rest at his pelvis, a silent reminder to stay a little lucid during the ordeal but to enjoy himself. He was gentler when he moved again, slow at first and then with a little speed.

Loki’s one hand moved to gently massage Clint’s sac as the other traced long slightly chilly fingers around the curves of his thighs and backside. Clint rolled his hips up, losing himself to his own imagination of how it all looked. Loki’s face had to be covered in saliva; his hair was surely a mess; his body must have been covered in sweat; and his eyes, oh those eyes would be hungrily looking up at Clint, for he somehow knew the god was using magic in order to properly see how he undid him.

The god hummed and Clint exhaled loudly, his fingers flexing out again before he turned his head to the side and groaned. He released his length and licked up to his other knee. Clint didn’t fight it this time, although his body did shake at the anticipation of what was to come. Loki expertly sucked and licked at his knee, kissing the top part sweetly every so often to give the under part a rest. His nerves were shot by the end of it and he could feel the tickle of his pre-cum run off his head as he was expertly stroked.

The god hurried to lap it up and returned to sucking on his head. Clint continued to rock his hips up and down, the feel of Loki’s lips around him was indescribable. His hands were back to massaging: his scrotum, his thighs, his hips, up to his torso. Loki slithered upward, his lips making a ‘pop’ as he released Clint’s member, and came up from under the covers.

His face was flushed, sweat gathered at the top of his forehead and his hair was messy and hung around his face, just in the way Clint had imagined. He kept his head tilted slightly down so that his intense red gaze was fiery; his mouth was parted, his lips wet and dark, and his chin glistening from his saliva. He stuck a pink tongue out and licked up the centre of Clint’s chest at an agonising speed.

He shifted, arching himself up for when his mouth came to close over a nipple. Desire spiked down to his groin and he tightened his muscles. He wasn’t ready to give in just yet. Loki sucked on it, exhaling through his nose with a faint grateful moan. He released it and pressed a small kiss upon it, before moving to the other. He slowly dragged his tongue over it and just barely closed his teeth around it. Clint turned his head to the other side and moaned. Loki mouthed it for a bit and kissed that one as well before he sat on his lap.

He took Clint’s face in his hands and tenderly tilted his chin up so that when he bent down it was easier to kiss him. He tasted _fantastic_. Clint sighed and tried sitting up to get more, but Loki kept his face were he wanted it and wouldn’t give in.

He sucked at Clint’s bottom lip, the tickle of the archer’s facial hair picked at his sensitive lips, causing him to pull back in fear of sneezing. When he pulled back, to give himself a moment, Clint’s tongue shot out to follow. Loki smirked and leaned down, letting his slip across Clint’s bottom lip. He could see goose bumps rise along his skin and felt him shutter under him. He moaned and ignored his own desires as he dove back in for more, this time adding his tongue into the mix. He let the fingers of his one hand play through Clint’s hair.

Barton whimpered a little. Loki pulled back and watched as his face flushed in embarrassment, his ears going from the sex-flush pink to a deep red. He grinned satisfied and kissed his nose before moving down his body and back under the covers. He licked up the pre-cum and pressed kisses all over his length.

“Loki, please!” he begged squeezing his eyes shut tightly. “Fuck please…” he whispered.

The god sat up to look down upon him for a moment. He was quivering; his body tensing and relaxing as he fought to hold on; his hands in tight fists; his hips rising a bit; his member hard and raised just a little away from his stomach now as it leaked… Loki gave a small sigh as he appreciated his view and decided he had let him suffer enough. He pulled the covers back over him and took Clint back into his mouth. He bobbed his head quickly, using his hands to help steady his length and massage his scrotum.

Clint jerked and let out a startled cry. “Oh shit! Oh shit!” he panted. “Oh shit, Loki! Fuck!”

The god hummed and dragged his tongue up his length quickly and then went back to sucking him from base to head. Clint groaned and tried moving his hips in pace, yet failed miserably.

The bond reached out and Loki mentally seized Clint’s end and twisted them together. It cork screwed down like the pulling sensation that Clint had accompanied with happening in him just before he came. He could taste himself. He felt how he fit into Loki’s mouth from the god’s perspective and hummed at the same time he did when he pulled his head back to only suck at his head.

He glanced down and noticed the blankets hand come up and he could see Loki’s eyes staring at him. Everything pulled toward his pelvis and then shot out of him without much warning. He let out a long loud stream of curse words and then panted and ‘oh’ed quietly.

Loki kept him in his mouth, using his hands to help work his orgasm and seed from him. He swallowed it all down and greedily licked Clint for more. The archer’s body jerked as his nerves fired off randomly without his consent. He moaned pitifully. Loki took pity, this time, and only placed a few loving kisses along his length before he finally let him go and crawled back up to lay over him.

He rubbed at Clint’s chest and showered him with kisses. It took a bit before Barton was able to coherently think and move. He found his wrists freed and let them drop off the sides of the pillow. Loki chuckled.

“Don’t laugh at me…” he tiredly begged.

“You are perfectly adorable,” Loki whispered and kissed his mouth. Clint was a second late in responding and it brought another laugh out of the god.

“You win…” he whispered and used the last of his strength to throw an arm around him. He rolled them over and buried the god under his limp body.

“Clint!” Loki whined pushing at him a bit. “No, Clint, get up I have to urinate.”

“Nope,” he mumbled and started falling back to sleep.

“I will do it right here.”

“Fine by me,” he said not honestly giving a damn either way, he was much too busy being a pleasant lazy gooey pile of fucking satisfaction to care.

Loki huffed frustrated and used a teleportation spell. Clint felt his chest hit the bed as the god vanished from under him. He groaned and adjusted himself with a wince. He heard Loki in the bathroom and realised how badly he had to pee as well. “Loki…” he tried calling for help, yet it only came out a tired puff of air.

Loki returned and pulled Clint up out of bed, already knowing his dilemma. He held the archer’s weight as he took him to the toilet. He sat him down and made sure he didn’t fall off. Clint relieved himself with a groan, his member still far too sensitive and partially stiff.

Once done, he carefully shook it, and let Loki help him up. The god flushed the toilet and they washed their hands before stumbling back to bed.

“Honestly Clinton,” Loki tried hard not to laugh as he shoved him back onto the sheets. The archer flopped down and lay where he fell. Loki rolled his eyes and dragged him back up to a better position. “Is this my reward for my efforts?”

“No…” he barely shook his head. “No I owe you a show.”

“You already do,”

“Then I owe you two…”

“Or one very good one,” he chuckled and tucked them in.

“Yeah…” he grinned stupidly and yawned.

Loki snuggled up next to him and they slept for several more hours.

\-------------------------------------------------

There was a knock at the door. Loki woke first and pulled a pair of sleeping pants on before he answered it. It was Natasha. She was already dressed for the day, in what appeared to be workout clothes. It must have been a training day for her.

“Morning,” she smiled at him.

“Good morning,” he said with a nod and held back a yawn. “Is something wrong?”

“No, just wanted to make sure you both ate before heading off today. I assumed he’d want to leave early, but then I heard some things and figured you’d both be taking off later than planned.”

Loki chuckled. “I apologise, we weren’t trying to be rude.”

“Eh,” she shrugged. “It happens and it’s no big deal. Want some autumn flavoured tea?” she asked.

“Yes, please. I will wake him and we’ll head down soon.”

“Biscuits are almost done, so no worries,” she smiled and headed off.

Loki shut the door and went to Clint. “Darling,” he whispered and forced himself not to be embarrassed or shy over using the affectionate term. He gently shook him. “Clinton darling, wake up.”

Clint groaned and rolled over. Loki kept shaking him, a little harder this time. “What?” he whined annoyed.

“The day grows old, and we should eat before we leave.”

He growled unhappily and lay still for a few more minutes. If Loki hadn’t been mentally connected with him, he’d have never known that he was slowly waking himself up. He looked as though he’d gone back to sleep. He sat there and watched as Clint slowly came to life.

He voluntarily rolled out of bed and went to the bathroom. Loki went to find them clothes. He had read on the internet that Michigan was a rather cold place, cooler than the city they were currently in, so thick jeans and socks with long sleeves and sweaters it was. He pulled out a few scarves Tony had donated to them and laid everything out on the bed.

Clint’s morning preparations took a little longer than usual, for today was a day when he had to shave his face. He leaned toward the mirror and very carefully pulled the razor up his neck.

“Do you sometimes think about growing your facial hair out?” Loki asked as he brushed his hair at the sink next to him.

Clint waited until he was done with the stroke before he shrugged. “I don’t know…I’m sure I have at one point in my life, but the only times I ever have are if I’m in the hospital or on a mission that requires a very low profile.” He cleaned the razor and started another slow streak up his neck.

Loki paused his actions to watch him. “And your hair? Do you enjoy it short or is it just any style that suits your mission?”

“Probably the same. Why?” he said after a he had finished the most dangerous part of the shave.

He shrugged. “Curious.” He set the brush down and pulled his hair back into a bun. “I’ve never ‘kissed sandpaper’ before, but it wasn’t all that awful this morning,” he commented.

It took Clint a moment before he realised why the god had said that. He smirked and finished the last line on his neck. “Do you want me to keep some of it?” he asked turning toward him.

Loki shrugged again. Clint knew better. He could play indifferent all he wanted, but bond or no bond, Clint could read Loki like a children’s book.

“Well say it now before I start on my face,” he laughed. “Do you want me to keep a little something and see how it looks and feels?”

Loki bit his bottom lip as he looked Clint’s face over. He leaned forward and traced his finger through the thick shaving cream to show what he desired him to not shave off. Clint’s mouth twitched as he did so and waited patiently for him to be done. He looked in the mirror and nodded, “Okay, I see what you mean…give me a second,” he said and started shaving his cheeks and jaw. He kept the small bit at the bottom of his chin, lower lip, and upper lip. He turned to Loki. “Yeah?” he asked.

Loki narrowed his eyes as he studied the look. He shook his head and motioned on his face where he wished Clint to take off. “The sides, I don’t like them touching.”

Clint turned back and very carefully shaved the area. He cleaned the razor and then looked around in the drawer for the small detailed one he had. He quickly rinsed it and finished shaping the design. He looked at Loki who chuckled at how silly his face looked with only a small amount of the cream fluffed up around his mouth. “Yeah?”

“Yes,” he laughed and waited until Clint had rinsed his face off before setting his hands on either side of it and gave him a kiss. Clint smiled and patted his face dry. He inspected it in the mirror and ran his fingers over the small hairs he had left.

“To breakfast,” he said when he was done admiring it and headed out of the bathroom.

“Perhaps after some clothes?” Loki offered following him.

Clint paused and looked down at himself. “Yeah…I guess,” he shrugged with a soft sigh as he went to the bed. “One day,” he said as he slipped the clothes Loki had selected for him on. “We’ll have our own place that we can walk around naked in all of the time.”

Loki hummed at the idea, forcefully pushing down the loud shouts that such a thing would never happen, and dressed as well; “With a large fireplace so that we may stay warm without having to put anything on, even in winter.”

“Yeah,” he grinned excitedly. “I’ll even spend all summer chopping wood. We can snuggle and fuck on all the surfaces…”

Loki laughed. “Bathe for hours and sleep in as late as we desire,” he added.

“Yes, and then sometimes we can get really freaky and be as loud as we want.”

Loki hummed again and sat on the bed as he thought about it. His chest ached painfully, but he felt warm all over. Yes, he wanted that so badly. A place for both of them; somewhere that was finally home.

Clint stood before him. He brushed Loki’s little hairs back from his face and leaned down to kiss him. Loki straightened and set his hands upon his neck, tilting his head up, eagerly accepting the kiss. “Thank you for this morning,” he said against his lips.

Loki grinned and let his fingers tease at the back of Clint’s neck. “Not at all. I promised I’d get you back.”

“And you did,” he agreed with an enthusiastic wide-eyed nod. They both laughed and kissed again. “You’re going to love today,” he promised.

“I never doubt you when you say such things,”

“Never?”

“Well,” he said and thought about it. “I only doubt if it’s legal or not. Sometimes if it is a rational or a smart idea.”

“Well this morning wasn’t legal,” he muttered.

Loki laughed and gently hit his chest. “Last night wasn’t either.”

Clint hummed and pulled him up into his arms. “Wait until you see what I have planned for later,” he said against Loki’s jaw and bit at it gently.

The god moaned with a small jump and wrapped his arms around him his neck. “Clint…” he breathed.

The archer chuckled and held him tightly for several minutes. Loki embraced him in the same manner. He knew what he was trying to do: give him enough affection and encouragement to keep the darkness at bay for as long as possible. He was grateful, and felt all of his hairs stand on end at the thought of Clint’s generosity and compassion for him.

They pulled back enough to look at one another. Loki was about to brush his fingers down Clint’s cheek and thank him, yet found the archer giving him a quick and semi-comical loud smacking kiss on the mouth. He blinked at him and then started laughing.

They finished dressing and hurried down stairs where the smell of freshly made things and something rich and meaty greeted them.

Natasha was at the stove stirring a large pot. She smiled and waved as they entered. Steven was carefully removing biscuits from a tray to a plate. Loki frowned and blinked at them. Those were no biscuits he’d ever seen before.

“Oh yeah! Biscuits and gravy!” Clint cheered and went to get them their morning drinks.

Natasha saw the god’s confused glance. “I know the name is a little off putting. I remember when I first heard it I was very confused. I promise it’s delicious.”

“What are they?” he asked.

“They are kind of like a dinner roll, but made with baking soda or baking powder instead of yeast to help it rise. They have the same texture as a scone, but without sugar or something to make them sweet.”

“Oh,” Loki said and went over to make plates for them.

“Three biscuits for me, please,” Clint called over his shoulder as he stirred sugar into his coffee.

Loki set three on Clint’s and one on his. He scooped some eggs onto their plates, tossed a large sausage patty each and then went over to Natasha. She ladled the grey and brown sausage chunky gravy over the golden buttermilk biscuits for them. He took them to the table, where Clint met him with their silverware and drinks.

“Three dozen should be enough, right?” Steve asked as he set the empty baking tray down to cool. “Thirty-six, divided by eight,” he whispered and counted on his fingers. “Four for each person…no, I’ll make another two batches,” he said and went to the mixer where he had left all of the ingredients.

Natasha laughed at him and then turned the burner on low. She went and sat near the other two. “So…going to have a spooky night?”

“Yep,” Clint said around a mouthful of the country gravy and fluffy biscuit.

Loki sniffed at the contents of his fork. He flicked his tongue out to taste the black spotted gravy. It was rich in a highly fattening sort of way, with the meaty flavour coming through to help balance out the peppery saltiness. He took a bite. It wasn’t all that bad. In fact, it was pretty delicious. Nothing that his mouth was used too, but it was very good.

“How many pumpkins are you bringing back?” Natasha asked.

“Why?” Clint said with his mouthful.

“Because there are some of us who haven’t gotten a chance to go out and get one,”

“Like who?”

“Well for starters Phil and Fury –”

“I’ll get Phil a pumpkin,” he cut in, his tone of voice and lack of acknowledging the former director showed he still held a grudge toward him.

“And Thor,”

“Thor too,”

“And Steve and I will share one,”

“Seriously!?” Clint said a little aggravated.

She smiled with a small laugh. “That’s it. Bruce doesn’t carve pumpkins.”

“We’ll bring back five,” Loki promised.

“Four,” Clint said firmly with a scowl and drank his coffee. “Us, Phil, Thor, and these two,” he said gesturing to the other two in the room. “Four.”

Natasha sighed and nodded. “Four it is.”

“And some pie ones,” Clint added and continued to eat.

Natasha and Loki shared a look that silently conveyed their apologies and understanding to one another over his stubborn behaviour.

Tony rubbed his face as he entered the kitchen. “Oh man…” he sighed heavily.

“Long night?” Steve asked as he rolled out the dough for the biscuits.

Tony chuckled and poured himself some coffee. “Yeah…but I finally got the suit to work without launching a rocket when I sneezed.”

“That’s good,”

“Yeah, Bruce can finally stop putting out fires and Hulking out when it hits his station,” he laughed, a little too deviously to be an innocent party for those events.

Steve rolled his eyes and cut out circular dough pieces, somehow not all convinced the sneezing rocket had been an accidental technical malfunction like Tony was playing it off as.

“Where is Pepper?”

“Work,” Natasha said. “She left not too long ago.”

“Damn,” he sighed and left.

“Do you want more?” Clint asked when he noticed Loki had finished his biscuit and was just pushing his eggs around absentmindedly.

Loki shook his head and took one final bite of eggs before eating half his sausage patty. He rested his elbow on the table and his chin in his hand as he slowly drank his tea.

“Where are you going today?” Rogers asked setting the biscuits in the fridge for a little bit.

“None of your business,” Clint replied in a ‘duh’ voice. Both Loki and Natasha hit his arms in reprimand for his rudeness. “Ow! What the hell!? I was just playing!”

“Michigan,” Loki offered.

“Cool, what’s there?”

“Pumpkin picking,” Natasha said. “Probably at a little farm.”

“So, fun,” Steve smiled answering his own question and started making another batch.

“Then a cider mill,” Clint added. “Then a spooky hayride,” he said toward Loki in a tone that indicated he was trying to intimidate fear into him in a playful manner. Loki only raised an unamused brow. “Oh come on,” he whined. “Nothing?”

“Nope,” he said and drank his tea.

“We’ll see after tonight,” he vowed and continued eating.

Tony returned. “Where is O’Furious?” he asked.

“Probably in the training room or his own,” Natasha offered.

He nodded and went to leave again.

“Hey Tony!” Clint said suddenly and quickly swallowed his mouthful.

“Yeah?” he asked.

“Can we borrow a jet?”

“What?”

“Can Loki and I borrow a jet? One of the smaller ones? We’re going out today and it’s faster than driving.”

“I don’t have jets,” he poorly lied.

“You have six: two are operational, three are still being put together, and one needs new lights,” Natasha said matter-of-factly.

“Don’t forget the one he never returned to S.H.I.E.L.D. after New York,” Clint reminded.

Natasha nodded, “And the one –”

Tony glared at them, “Stop breaking into my stuff!” he hissed with a little force behind the words. He then gave a tired sigh, “Oh, y’know what? Yeah sure; first one as you walk in, the code is 7291. Don’t break anything or freak people out. The inside is similar to all S.H.I.E.L.D. jets and don’t forget to put the cloaking on it. I want you both home by ten, no hanky-panky, and treat Bertha well.”

“Bertha is in good hands,” Clint promised.

“Now, excuse me, I’m going to go pester Grumpy and then visit my lady,” he smiled and went back through the way he had first came that morning.

“Are you ready?” Clint asked when he noticed Loki was just sitting there.

“Whenever you are,” he said.

Clint nodded and finished his coffee. Loki took their plates to the trash to be scraped and then set them in the sink. “We’ll see you later,” he promised.

“Dress warmly,” Tasha warned.

“Yes, mother,” Clint sighed heavily as they left the kitchen. They slipped their jackets on and Loki offered him the scarves he’d picked out that morning. They headed down to the lab, and instead of turning toward the fogged out door, with the childish sign tapped it that read “Fort Sexy. No boring people allowed!”, they continued down until they reached a large underground hanger.

“How did Stark manage to build this in such a short amount of time?” Loki asked amazed as he looked around the impressive area.

“Tony doesn’t really sleep for one, but he didn’t actually start this; he’s just fixing and finished it up. His dad started this. In fact, I’m very certain the jet we’re about to use is one his dad started making and abandoned in favour of a new project.”

“How do you know this?”

“S.H.I.E.L.D. has a lot of files on the Starks. They’re a family of geniuses and inventors. For generations they’ve been doing things like this; always passing something down for the next to finish, although with Tony, he was left with more than what he would have ever wanted.” Clint set a hand on the side of the jet to activate the door and the back opened, lowering the ramp.

“How do you mean?” Loki asked and admired the old machine. It was nothing compared to what they had on Asgard, but it was more than he’d seen the mortals have in a very long time. Their technology was catching up at a good pace.

“Tony’s parents died in a crash when he was still pretty young. It was really sudden and unexpected. Chaos broke out among his dad’s clients and workers. Tony had to deal with it all. His dad left a lot of things unfinished. He’s been cleaning up his messes and making his own since then. That and the whole being kidnapped and stabbed in the back thing by Obadiah wasn’t great fun I imagine,” he explained heading inside

“Oh,” Loki whispered and then followed Clint into it. The lights flickered on around them and across the front windshield a start-up screen appeared.

“Please entre the appropriate code,” Jarvis said.

Clint tapped in “7291” and the entre button. The screen went blank and then cleared. “Thank you. Please fly safely,” the AI said.

“No problem,” he replied and stuck his id card in the ignition slot. The jet started.

“We’re pretty far underground. Where do the doors open to?” Loki asked as he sat in the second seat.

Clint shrugged, “Probably in the backyard or on a private lot next door.” He sat and buckled himself in. Loki did as well and tried relaxing into the seat. “Ready?” he smiled at him.

Loki nodded hesitantly and held his breath as they took off. A small area in the ceiling opened and they slipped out and into the morning. As they flew away, Loki looked down to the side of the windshield and realised Clint had been right. There was a small patch of land between the building behind them and the back fence of the Stark property. That area was chained off and he could see the little tellings of signs urging strangers to stay out of the area. There appeared to be a tiny run down little building off to the side of the hanger opening to give the allusion of only an abandoned home on the premises.

Clint activated the cloaking device. Loki couldn’t tell if it worked or not, but he supposed that was the point: no to be a distraction to the one flying the device. He looked out over the city as they climbed into the air and watched as the sun rose higher in the sky. It pained the clouds pink and lemon yellow. Apart from the brilliant morning light, it was a grey day in New York; very sombre, yet Loki supposed with a city so removed from the natural beauty of the world, it would always be a little duller than other parts of the universe. He hoped that wherever in Michigan they went, it wasn’t so depressing.

“So,” Clint said with a grin as he expertly control and steered the plane. “What’s your favourite type of flower?”

Loki grinned as he realised what the archer had planned for them on the ride. “Forget-me-nots, yours?”

“Lilacs,”

“Oh I love the smell of lilacs,”

“Me too, and cloves,”

“Cloves are wonderful.”

“What are your feelings about roses?”

“Very good in teas,” he replied. “Romantic to many, yet I find that they are often over used as such a gesture.”

“No, I agree. Someone as special and uniquely wonderful as you would need something a little more extraordinary than roses as a token of love.”

Loki felt heat rise to his cheeks. “And you?”

“Chocolate. Well, food in general, but chocolate and peanut butter are the way to my heart.”

“I shall have to remember that,”

“Please do. I accept all brands of both, but please no crunchy peanut butter or eighty-percent dark chocolate. It just tastes like dirt when you get it at that consistency. It’s better to use that with baking than gift-giving.”

“I’m mentally taking notes,” he warned playfully.

They both glanced at one another and then looked away with soft laughs.

“So…” Loki said after a few moments of silence between them. “What is your favourite thing about this holiday?”

“Oh where do I start?” he sighed with a small chuckle.

“We do have a ride ahead of us,” Loki said innocently trying to pry him toward telling him about it all. He loved the sound of Clint’s voice, especially when he was excited over something.

“Okay,” he said and rolled his shoulders and tilting his head from side to side, popping it as he would before starting a fight. “Where to start on the magic of Halloween?”

Loki smirked and settled back ready for a story.

\-------------------------------------------------

Bruce exhaled and slowly brought his body forward. Steve and Natasha entered the room and shook themselves out before following his motion. Banner relaxed his body and let it hang there for a bit. Natasha put her hands down on the mat and inhaled as she brought herself into downward dog. Steve brought himself back up slowly and Bruce continued to stand in the calming folded position.

“So Tony’s leaving tonight,” Steve said and then exhaled and bent forward.

“Yeah?” Natasha said going down into cobra.

“Yep,” he said moving into downward dog.

“Finally,” Bruce exhaled tiredly and then inhaled and went into downward dog, and then into cobra.

“I’ll say,” Natasha laughed as she brought her upper half down to the mat to rest for a few moments.

“He’s been putting this vacation off for far too long. It’s not fair to himself or Pepper,” Bruce said and lowered his upper half to the mat.

“Especially Pepper,” Steve chipped in and lifted his right leg up to point his toes toward the ceiling. Natasha went back up into cobra, arching her body a little more and let her feet come off of the mat.

“Do you think we’re lame?” Bruce asked going up into cobra as well.

“What makes you ask that?” she said.

“I should probably clarify and say the ‘we’ am referring to are the Hulk and myself. I ask because we don’t really do much apart from eat, fight crime, yoga, and create an international shortage of pants.”

“And knit,” Natasha pointed out and lowered herself to relax back against the mat for a few seconds and then pushed herself back into downward dog.

Bruce’s head jerked to her. “How…” his eyes narrowed. “Tony told you, didn’t he?”

“Clint,” she answered and lifted her right leg up as Steve brought his down and slowly peddled his heels, calves, and legs out for a few moments.

“Damn him,” he sighed and lowered his chest to the mat. He pushed himself to his hands and knees, and inhaled as he arched his belly down and pushed his face and rear upward and his chest down in cow position.

“Why do you ask?”

Bruce shook his head. “Jenny said something about it the other day and…I don’t know I just feel…” he exhaled realising how stupidly self-conscious he was being, yet couldn’t stop himself from worrying about it. “Forget I mentioned it.”

“Did you know Loki knits?” Natasha said after a few seconds, hoping that this information would help relieve some of Bruce’s personal doubts rather than adding to them.

“Really?” Steve asked and raised his left leg out and up.

“Yeah, Clint was gushing about him knitting him something stupid and ugly. I was only half listening, but that doesn’t really surprise me,” she said and slowly brought her leg through to her chest and curved up before bringing it carefully back to stretch out.

“Me either,” Bruce added. “His mother is the goddess of marriage and birth. She controls the wheel of time and the sky. He also comes from an old fashioned, yet somehow highly advanced, society. His and Thor’s Asgardian clothes are very finely made however they are still made fully by hand with only –”

“Okay, your lame is showing,” Natasha jokingly interrupted him and put her foot down onto the mat again.

“Sorry,” Bruce apologised with a smile, knowing he was prone to excessive rambling, and went into a neutral position on his hands and knees as he looked at Steve. “The point and short form is: he seems the type to have many hobbies. Especially solitary ones.”

“Huh,” Steve said and lowered his left foot. “I guess that helps us with Christmas.”

“Yeah, then we don’t all accidently give him the same book,” Natasha agreed and raised her left leg.

“That would be embarrassing,” Bruce exhaled into cat pose.

Steve brought his feet up closer to his hands and found his centre before he slowly lifted one at a time, bringing himself into a handstand. “I wonder if we’ll ever meet them.”

“Who?” Romanoff asked.

“Loki and Thor’s family,”

“Maybe,” Bruce said and inhaled as he arched down into cow pose.

Natasha kept her mouth shut as she brought her leg through and up into her chest as she curled and then released back out slowly.

Steve noticed her silence, yet chose not to comment on it. “Who should patrol tonight?”

“I call ‘not it’,” Bruce exhaled down into cat pose.

“Ditto,” Natasha added.

“You both are going to leave me by myself?”

“No, Thor should be back tonight, with or without Jane and her crew, but I’m sure he’ll go with you,” Natasha explained and then lowered her foot and carefully brought herself down to the mat. She rolled over and brought her legs to bend up near her chest.

“What you don’t like me anymore?” Rogers half joked.

“No baby,” she said, her voice muffled from her position. “I just want a night to myself. A hot bubble bath, a steamy trashy novel, some wine and snacks, and maybe when you get home we can have hot dirty sex.”

“AH!” Bruce said and quickly got up and hurried away from them. “Ah! Ew! Ah!” he rubbed his face and then addressed them. “Look, we’re friends, and friends tell each other a lot of things, I get that. We’re adults, and can talk about a lot of things, I get that too, But…just…he doesn’t like it,” he said pointing to his head. Banner could feel the Hulk roll his eyes inside his head.

 _Blame Hulk for insecurities…_ he scoffed.

 _Sh!_ Bruce firmly hissed, his anxiety fluttering a bit.

Natasha chuckled and relaxed into corpse pose. She knew better.

Steve’s face was bright red, and it wasn’t from his chosen pose. “Sorry,” he whispered and carefully brought himself into downward dog, afraid that now his concentration was broken he’d fall. Natasha laughed harder.

“Okay, so moving on, we have someone for tonight, that means Natasha and I are on morning shift tomorrow, and then…who’s doing candy give-out?”

“Whoever is here and wants too,” Steve said moving carefully to a folded forward bend. “We can rotate so no one is overtaxed from people-to-people contact?” he suggested.

“I like that idea,” Natasha agreed. “But I thought Jennifer was coming in?”

“She can’t make it until the second,” Bruce explained.

“Lame,”

“Yeah,” he nodded. “But, okay. Plans are made, I feel better,” he said and went back to his mat. Steve slowly rolled back up into mountain pose.

“Yes, they are,” Natasha added; her voice a seductive purr.

Bruce paused halfway into a pose and squeezed his eyes and mouth up into a grimace. “It’s okay buddy,” he whispered to the Hulk who wasn’t in the least bit irritated over what her comment suggested. If anything it made him laugh, but Bruce’s ears still burned in embarrassment. “It doesn’t involve us,” he reminded himself.

“It could,” Natasha teased.

Steve fell over trying to get into tree pose. Natasha doubled over laughing. Bruce sat and had to wait a few moments for the Hulk to finish laughing before he could manage to do anything.

\-------------------------------------------------

Tony knocked on the open door of Pepper’s office. “Entre,” she called not turning to look at him.

“Hey,” he said coming in slowly. “I uh, brought you these.” He said holding up a box of peaches he bought on the side of the road.

“Oh good, more strawberries,” she sighed frustrated and turned to be met with a surprised. “Oh,” she breathed and felt her cheeks heat with embarrassment. “Oh Tony,” she said and her face melted into a smile. “Thank you, I’m,” she shook her head and touched her temples, “I’m sorry, I’ve just…got a lot going on.”

“It’s fine,” he shrugged and then pulled the box to his chest a bit. “You’re not allergic to these too are you?”

“No,” she smiled reassuringly, “only strawberries and pertussis.”

“Okay,” he smiled relieved. “Well no strawberries or whooping cough here,” he grinned and held the box out to her more. She took one and went to the small bathroom to rinse it in the sink. “How is it?” he asked setting the box on her desk.

Pepper made an approving noise as she came back and nodded her head as she chewed a large bite. “It’s delicious, thank you so much.” She went to him and wrapped her arms around his neck before giving him a kiss. “Hey,” she smiled at him.

“Hi,” he smiled back. They kissed again.

“So what do I owe the pleasure of your visit?” she asked and then bit into the peach again. “And with such tasty gifts?” She froze and looked up at him suddenly, “You’re not in trouble are you?”

“What? No,” he shook his head. “No, I just, missed you,” he said with a casual shrug that might have been a bit too tense for normal.

“Missed me?” she frowned and held a hand to her mouth to prevent juice from slipping out of it as she spoke. She swallowed the sweet fruit down and left his arms to go to the other side of her desk, “Tony we’ve seen each other almost every day this week. How could you possibly miss me?”

“There is a difference between seeing someone and being with someone,” he pointed out.

Pepper looked at him as she considered her words being thrown back in her face and then nodded. “You’re right,” she admitted and sat, leaning back in her chair. “Okay, so you’ve missed me. I’ve missed you too; but even you being here now doesn’t mean you’re really here,” she pointed out gently.

Tony flinched and looked down at his feet guiltily. “I’m trying,” he apologised.

Her face fell a bit, “I know,” she said sitting up. “I’m not holding it against you; I’m just…trying to help you become aware of it.”

“And I’m very thankful for that and for you,” he said coming around to sit on an empty spot on her desk before her. “I also came to tell you that…everything is set up and we can leave whenever you want, if you want, but you did ask for a vacation, and I owe you one, so…” he shrugged. “You’re the boss, boss,” he said holding his hands out to her.

She smiled and reached for the collar of his shirt. “Am I?” she asked seductively and pulled him down to her.

Tony’s eyes lit up and he felt his body react. “Yeah,” he nodded stupidly.

“I beg your pardon?” she asked raising her brows at him.

“Yes, ma’am, you are the boss,” he corrected himself quickly.

She grinned and stood, pulling Tony off the desk and pushed him into the chair roughly. “Jarvis?” she said and hopped up onto her desk.

“Yes, ma’am?”

“Privacy level 10. No one is to entre and I am not to be disturbed unless it is a dire emergency.”

“Yes, ma’am, as you wish,” he said as the windows darkened and the door locked. A long thin sheet of smudged glass slid down to help sound proof the room.

Pepper hiked up her skirt and set her heel on the armrest of the chair. Tony was dumbfounded in staring at her with an open slacked mouth. “Now Mr. Stark,” she said, her voice dropping into a sultry purr as she pulled out the pin that held her hair up. “I think I’m ready for my vacation to start.”

Tony leaned forward with a moan and began kissing up her leg. Before he could make it too far, though, he found the peach she had been eating in his face. He took a small bite of it and continued, the sound of her surprised laughs and moans made his anxiety of leaving the house a little easier to deal with. He was with Pepper. She was safe and so was he.

\-------------------------------------------------

“Come on!” Clint called pulling Loki from the craft excitedly. He looked like a little boy who was eagerly shepherding their parents toward a candy wonderland or showing off their ability to go from walking to running without falling. He grinned and rushed back to Loki to take his arm. “Come on silly! We’ll miss it all!”

“Miss what all?” Loki laughed confused.

“The good ones!” he smiled goofily and pushed the button to the keys. The back of the jet craft closed and the reflective camouflage activated.

“What ‘good ones’?” he sighed yet couldn’t withhold his smile of excitement.

“Pumpkins!” Clint shouted and held his hand firmly as he broke into a run down the hill. Loki kept an even pace and started laughing at the thrill of going so fast at such a sharp angle down. The wind was cold and he could tell it was stinging Clint’s skin, yet his smile shown warm and bright. Loki hoped his was as beautiful as the archer’s, for he felt just as elated as he looked.

They made it to the bottom and paused to catch their breath. Well Clint did. Loki just laughed and let his fluttering heart calm a bit. He looked around and found they were standing at the edge of a large and very bountiful field full of round large orange pumpkins. There was a tent with a table and some people set up not too far away.

“There,” Clint said with a sigh as he recovered. “That’s where we start our journey.” He took Loki’s hand and they headed that way. By the time they got to the tent the line had died down.

They were greeted by a lovely older woman with a wild set of Halloween pins and a large sparkly cartoon paper bat decoration in her hair. “Hello dears,” she waved to them. “How many pumpkins are we adopting today?”

“We’re not entirely sure yet; what’s your pricing this year?”

“Same as last: all carving pumpkins fifty-cents a pound; pie pumpkins two to six pounds are two-fifty each; minis are fifty-cents each; and prize winners start at twenty dollars and go up. Our largest is priced at a hundred and twenty dollars this year.”

Clint whistled. “Wow that’s a keeper.”

“Indeed,” she smiled proudly.

“Well, we’re just looking for some to decorate the front of the house and maybe a few to makes pies for Thanksgiving. Will yours keep until then?”

“Uncarved and healthy will keep for eight to about twelve weeks. Keep them between fifty and fifty-five degrees, though.”

“Sounds reasonable and perfect. Is there a rental fee for a wagon or per person?”

“Nope,” she smiled and held out a hand, inviting him to take one of the little red wagons off to the side of her table. “Just bring it back so we may weight it all and then we can help you take them to your car if you wish.”

Clint chuckled, “thanks,” he said and took the handle of a wagon. He held his hand out for Loki to take. “Come on,” he smiled, “Before all of the good ones are gone.”

Loki took it and they headed out into the field. Loki was flabbergasted. There were tall, squat, orange, large, spotted, green, yellowish, splotched, small, white, smooth, bell, ribbed, warty, round, star, striped, and oblong pumpkins; often times they would exhibit many of these characteristics at once. The colours and shapes were so…Midgard was an unusual place.

“These are carving ones,” Clint said pointing. “They are different from the others because they are breed for their ideal shape and easy cutting abilities. Have you ever pumpkin picked before?”

“Asgardian pumpkins are white, green, and light orange. They are also about the size of a child’s head or the squash we have in the fridge. They are not,” he waved a hand toward a patch of orange round pumpkins with green streaks along its sides and solid coloured bottoms. “These are bizarre.”

“Aren’t they?” he said excitedly. “Okay, so the key to a good pumpkin is all about the exterior. If something’s off on the outside, the inside is no good. It is pretty much impossible to rot a pumpkin from the inside out, unless the place didn’t care for them or the weather has been bad. Since it’s the appropriate temperature and this place is good about keeping their fields healthy, our job is to find the ones that aren’t cut, bruised, eaten, etcetera. We start with looking and finding a target. We’re looking for one that isn’t too tall, too sort, has a good base that is level, and at least three sides that are smoothish or not blemished,” he looked around and then spotted one. “When we find one, we close in on it,” he went to the pumpkin. Loki followed. “We inspect the stem. A good stem is firm and unyielding. Limp, soggy, or severely damaged ones suggest something’s wrong or could be wrong soon. This one is good, see?” he said pinching with his fingers gently on the stem. “Feel,” he said moving to the side.

Loki hesitated yet he squatted down next to him and felt. The stem was firm and sound. He nodded and looked at Clint to show he was ready for the archer to continue.

“Okay, next we look around the outside. Carefully moving the pumpkin around and looking for cuts, bruises, anything that looks wrong. Something to break the skin, because once the skin is broken infections can get in and bugs and it cuts the life,” he explained and turned the pumpkin, his tongue poking out a little to the side as he furrowed his brow and concentrated.

Loki smirked watching him and waited for a verdict.

Clint nodded. “Nothing bad, just some discolouration, but that’s normal. Now we check the bottom.” He carefully tilted the pumpkin to its side and pushed at the bottom. It was dirty yet it seemed bug and bruise free to Loki.

“Feel,” he said taking Loki’s hand. “It’s almost perfect, but in the centre, it’s too soft. Feel it?”

Loki pushed and felt it give a bit. He frowned and Clint moved his hand off to the side. Loki pushed again and felt no give. Clint moved his hand to one of the sides. Loki pushed again and found it unyielding.

“This one looks good but it’s not, so we move on,” Barton said putting the pumpkin back up the way he had found it and then stood.

“So, as long as the outside is firm, the stem is…good, then it is a perfect find?” Loki asked dusting his hands.

“Then it goes into the tap and lift test.”

“The what?”

“Come on,” Clint said taking Loki’s hand and the wagon handle and went on. This was certainly much more complicated than pumpkin selecting on Asgard.

They went through a few more almost perfect pumpkins before they found one. “Here we are,” Clint smiled excitedly. “Now for the tap and lift test. First, we check for a sound.” He took his knuckles and oh so gently knocked on the pumpkin. It made a noise that suggested its insides were fairly hollow. Clint’s smile widened. “Now carefully pick it up,” he said and stood pulling it up into his arms. “And…” he said bouncing it a little, as one would a fussy small child. “It’s a keeper!” he announced and went to set it in the wagon.

“So the purpose is to not find the heaviest?” Loki asked confused as he stood.

“No, the denser a pumpkin like this is, the harder it is to gut out and carve. We need one that’s hollow enough to clean, heavy enough to have some sustenance, yet its walls must be sturdy enough to sustain carving.” He looked at the god with a giddy infectious smile. “Ready to try on your own?”

Loki grinned and nodded. They split up to cover more ground and Loki found a few almost perfects along the way. He found one he thought was what Clint was looking for, but upon bringing it to the archer; he found that the base wasn’t level enough.

“It’s okay, Lo,” Clint said and kissed his cheek. “They can be deceiving, especially when the ground isn’t a hundred percent level. We could take it, but it might fall down the steps and I’d hate to risk it. Y’know?”

Loki nodded. “No I see what you mean and I agree. I shall find us one,” he promised and went to put it back. He paused a few feet away and realised that the archer had used a nickname on him. He’d never really had a nickname before. His mother had always called him by sweet pet-names, Thor had called him by his name or ‘brother’, and Odin had called him by name or, with great reluctance, ‘son’. He turned to look at Clint who was back scoping out pumpkins. His tongue poking out of the side of his mouth as he tapped and lifted the one he’d been looking over.

He looked up at the god and pulled his tongue into his mouth. “What’s wrong?” he asked.

Loki shook his head and blushed, “Nothing, you…you just…you called me…something.”

Clint thought about it and then felt heat rush to his cheeks. He shrugged as he stood. “Is that okay?” he asked shifting from foot to foot worriedly.

Loki grinned and nodded. “Yes,” he said. “Yes it is. I’ve just…no one’s ever called me such before.”

Clint grinned shyly. “Then I’ll be the only one.”

Loki turned away and pressed a hand to his heated cheek. He hurried off to set the pumpkin back and look for a new one. His heart was all a flutter and his insides were twisting into nervous knots. What was it about the archer that made him so…?

He sighed frustrated and at a loss for the right words as he rotated a pumpkin in hopes it was bruise free. He found a nest of pill bugs snuggling in a small chewed away hole toward the bottom. He sighed and set it back, careful not to disturb them, and moved to the one next to it. It passed the outward inspection and the tap test; he picked it up and bounced it a bit in his arms before smiling and proudly going to show the archer.

Clint grinned when he saw Loki’s stance and face. “Find one?” he asked.

“I dare you to tell me otherwise,” he challenged in a superior tone.

Clint laughed and looked the pumpkin over and then carefully took it from Loki’s arms. He bounced it a bit and tapped it before pressing his lips together. Shaking his head, he turned sad eyes to the god and then back down to the pumpkin. Loki’s breath caught and his insides twisted painfully. He was so sure this had been a good one.

Clint looked up at him and then leaned in to kiss him. “It’s perfect, thank you,” he said with a smile against the god’s lips.

Loki gave a huff of relief and then hit the archer’s arm with the back of his hand and frowned unhappily at him. “I– I,” he stuttered and then spun on his heel and went off.

“Loki,” Clint called worried he’d gone too far teasing him in such a way.

“I’ll find you a pumpkin!” the god shouted determined. “One you don’t even have to test, you’ll just know,” he muttered and redoubled his effort.

Clint sighed and felt horrible. It was supposed to have been a joke, but…he shook his head and set the pumpkin down. He’d properly explain and apologise later. Right now his words would fall upon distracted and upset ears. It would be pointless.

He looked down at their wagon. So far he had picked out two large carving ones, the one Loki had found, and four pie pumpkins. They needed more pie ones for sure. Way more. Barton was going to have to direct Loki’s attention to finding those.

He turned and found the god marching toward him again, a large round orange pumpkin cradled in his arms. “Hey,” he said and started checking it.

Loki didn’t say anything, just stared hard and determined at the huge pumpkin in his arms.

“Okay,” Clint said and kept quiet until he had covered the stem, sides, and bottom. Everything was perfect. Really perfect. He was impressed. He rapped it lightly with his knuckles and found a promising hollow thud. He nodded and then braced himself to take it from Loki. He almost fell over backward from the force he’d put out. It was way lighter than what the size of the body and inner sound seemed to suggest!

“Holy shit!” he hissed and stared down at the magic pumpkin.

“Perfect enough?” Loki sassed setting his hands on his hips.

Clint looked up at him wide eyed and then down at the pumpkin. He shook his head in disbelief and set it in the wagon. “Y’know I was teasing you with the last one, right?”

“I know,” Loki said and folded his arms before his chest. He hadn’t really been sure, just guessed. It was all rather frustrating trying to recall and play that level of the flirting game.

“Okay, well I’m sorry if it hurt your feelings,” said Clint sincerely as he stood to face him.

Loki’s defiant and upset attitude evaporated in the blink of an eye. He felt his arms fall from his chest and his shoulders sag a bit. Clint put his hands on his shoulders, rubbing them a little with a smile, and then brought them up to hold Loki’s face as he kissed him. The god melted into him, his hands going to hold Clint’s waist to help steady him before he fainted from the tingling sensation the kiss brought to his head.

Clint smiled as they pulled apart and he found Loki’s face serine with a silly small grin on his lips and red colouring his entire face. Clint chuckled and brushed some random strands of hair that had fallen in the way of Loki’s face behind his ear. The god’s eyes fluttered opened.

“So we have carving pumpkins, how many pies do you think Thor will consume?”

“I do not believe you should worry for him,” Loki said. “He’s never been overly fond of squash desserts.”

“Well Bruce is, so help me do math,” Clint chuckled and showed him the wagon. “I’ve got four so far and it’s about a pie a pumpkin, plus at least two for everyone else to share…” he rubbed his chin.

“I suggest we gather seven for now, if we should need more, we may return, yes?”

“Here?” he asked looking at the god and then shrugged. “We could. I mean this isn’t the only pumpkin patch in the world. There are some in New York I just,” he shrugged and felt suddenly uncomfortable. He knew why he had chosen this field. He knew why he’d chosen to plan today the way he had and he found that he was incredibly embarrassed having to confess it to the god.

“What?” Loki asked concerned and put his hand in Clint’s to show support and comfort.

The archer shrugged again and shook his head. “It’s…lame.”

“I like lame,” Loki said with a gentle smile and leaned into him. “Tell me?” he asked sweetly.

Clint gave a half-assed smile and then nodded. He took a deep breath and exhaled carefully. “The last memory I have of my mom…well the last _good_ memory was when she brought my brother and I out to visit family. We came here with some cousins. I didn’t know them, I don’t even remember their names or the houses we went too, I just…I only remember her and my brother. I remember her teaching me how to find a pumpkin. I remember trying to pick one up and falling over without even lifting it,” he laughed. “I remember hayrides and warm cider; her laughter as I got the s’more all over my face; her holding me when the spooky ride through the woods became too scary…I remember the smell of ripe fruit, the feel of straw under my hands and feet, and the terror of being lost in a corn maze.” He looked at Loki and then down at his feet. “It’s the best memory I have as a child…and I wanted to…” he shrugged. “I don’t know. I don’t know if I was looking for something, re-enacting something, or trying to make you happy but…it’s stupid.”

“No, no, no,” Loki said and pulled Clint to face him. “Those are wonderful memories to have, and I am so very honoured you wanted to bring me here. Regardless if all of this was a re-enactment to find happiness or to share it with me,” he tilted Clint’s chin up so that he would look at him. “Clinton…that is so beautiful and I am very certain your mother is wonderfully proud that you are thoughtful enough to share your feelings of happiness with another.”

“But what if I did this for selfish reasons?” he said not evening know why the hell he actually wanted to chase those ghosts.

“Well,” Loki said looking the archer’s face over and stroked his cheek lovingly, “I’ve never known you to be a selfish being, so I can’t believe you’d act in such a manner for one day.”

Clint looked at him and then shook his head sadly. “There is a lot about me that you don’t know.”

“Well I know enough,” Loki replied and kissed him to show that that conversation was finished for he had decided the answer and reason for Clint. “Now, teach me about these baby pumpkins,” he whispered excitedly.

Clint laughed and then shrugged. “Uh, they are pumpkins normally used for pies. I don’t know their names; I just know what to look for. In fact, I’m a liar, I only know of two to look for: these round ones and something that looks like Cinderella’s pumpkin.”

“Who is she?”

“Cinderella?” Clint asked. Loki nodded. The archer chuckled. “Well…” he said and rubbed at the back of his neck. “She’s from a faerytale. Like a story but with magical forces and consequences.”

“What stories do not have magical forces or consequences?” he frowned confused.

Clint paused and considered his question. “On Earth? A lot nowadays. Back then, that was their way of warning people of the dangers of and the good things about magic and witches and stuff.”

“Witches,” Loki nodded, “Now they are ugly and warty with green skin and ratty hair. When I was here long ago they were beautiful. Stupid, but beautiful.”

“Witches existed?” Clint blinked taken aback. “Real witches?”

“Witches still exist,” Loki replied. “They are just careful and in short supply. So,” he said moving the conversation along. “What pumpkin did this Cinderella possess?”

Clint smiled and took up the wagon handle along with Loki’s and headed further into the patch. They ‘ooh’ed and ‘ahh’ed over the stranger and colourful ones; they argued if a white pumpkin was still a pumpkin, Loki was adamant it was; and they found a few more round little ones before they found what Clint was searching for.

“There,” he said and pointed. “That’s it. That’s the one. Those frosty orange ones.”

“It’s not frosty, it’s just not as vibrant,” Loki muttered, yet went to go pick one up. “Are these to be found the same as other pie ones?”

“Yes,” he said tapping one he’d found with a perfect exterior. He made a face and gently tapped it again. “Too hollow.”

“These are so tiny, how can they possibly be so hollow?” Loki frowned and found another to test.

“Nature is weird man,”

Loki chuckled and then lifted the one he’d been tapping at. It didn’t have as hard of a _thunk_ as the first one he’d found. It also felt incredibly heavy for something so small, like the unexpected weight of a baby after the initial shock and wonder of its birth had worn off.

His heart seized at the thought of his children. He looked out over the field and allowed himself to imagine their laughter and shouts of excitement as they tried finding pumpkins of their own. He closed his eyes before tears could fall from them as the fantasy turned sour and settled low into his stomach. He'd never get to see his children do such a thing. He wasn’t even sure he’d be able to see them when he returned to Asgard. What did they even think of him?

He thought of Clint’s story about his mother and wondered if his children had any good memoires of him. He hadn’t always been the best parent, yet he had tried; or at least he thought he did. Did they miss him? Did they hate him? Were they eating all of their vegetables and caring for their teeth properly? How were their studies? Had the twins started losing teeth yet? Was Esgar old enough to start shaving? Did Grim pass his magic evaluations? Was Sleipnir being treated well and behaving? Were the triplets alright or were they swamped with running their realm?

“Hey,” Clint said gently and put a hand on Loki’s shoulder sensing his distress and worried it was the darkness. “You alright?”

Loki shook his head and brushed his tears away. “I…I miss my children,” he confessed softly and tried hard to keep himself from crying any further.

Clint took Loki’s pumpkin and set it in the wagon before wrapping him in his arms. “It’s okay. You’ll see them again.”

“You don’t know that,” he said and clung to Clint tightly. Everything inside of him hurt. It made the darkness purr and swim around in a lazy happy fashion. “I don’t even know if they’d want to see me.”

“They will. I know and promise they will.”

“They must hate me,” he sniffed pathetically.

“Well, they’re kids. Kids often hate things they don’t understand. I know I hated my mom a time or two; doesn’t mean my love for her is any less.”

“I was so selfish, I didn’t even think of them when I let go.”

“It’s alright, Loki it’s okay. It was a super crazy, confusing, emotionally shattering time. It’s okay.”

“How could I put them through that?”

“I don’t think they’ll worry about that, I think they’ll be too happy to see you.” Clint gently pulled Loki’s face back and brushed his stray hairs from his face. “Shh, hey it’s okay.” He kissed his cheek. “One day at a time.” He held him until he calmed down a little.

“Now I’ve ruined our outing,” he muttered and sniffed as he fished an eyelash out of his watery eye.

“Nope. Nothing can ruin today, wanna know why?” he smiled.

“Why?” he sniffed and looked at him.

“Because I get to spend the day with the most beautifulest and wonderfulest person I’ve ever met, whom I love very much.”

“‘Beautifulest’ and ‘wonderfulest’ are not real words.”

“English isn’t my strongest thing, sue me,” he laughed and then kissed the god. “But I mean it. A few tears, some real feels, and me trying to cling to the few strings of a real childhood I never got aren’t going to ruin our day.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

“Okay,” Loki sniffed and straightened. He accepted a wad of tissues Clint pulled from his pocket and cleaned his face and nose.

“Tell me about it,” Clint said and gestured to the field before them were a few families were clustered about. “I felt it, but I want to help you plan it. I’d like to bring them here.”

Loki’s face fell yet he tried to put on a brave smile and nodded. “I was thinking of what they’d say, how’d they find their own pumpkins; especially the twins,” he laughed. “Narvia would be so determined to carry her own, and Narfi would try and roll it. Both of them would choose the biggest ones they could get their hands on. Esgar would find several, yet take his time to decide which he would take home. He’d consider which one would make myself and his father the most proud. Grim would find the perfect one. He’d spend all day and all of his energy searching for the one that I couldn’t find a fault in. No matter if he brought me one with a few natural marks or the ideal perfect pumpkin, all of them would be perfect in my eyes, because he found them. The triplets would obtain the largest. One they could share in carving and Sleipnir,” he chuckled, “Sleipnir would tread very carefully, trying not to squash any with all of his legs. He’d bring me the smallest and most unusual looking one. He’d carefully bite the stem and present it with a soft wicker and a loving nudge to my shoulder.” Loki sighed heavily and shook his head, wiping a tear away as it fell from his eye. “It’ll never happen though.”

“Never say never,” Clint scolded lightly and gazed out over the field for a few moments. “We’ll bring them here,” he promised and looked at the god. Loki’s eyes were still miserable, yet there was a small spark of hope.

Loki had to remember to trust Clint. It felt aeons since he could honestly trust someone…but he knew deep within his soul that Clint spoke the truth. No matter what the final outcome was, his children would visit the pumpkin field. He took comfort in that fact and took his hand. “How many,” Loki cleared his throat as he gestured to the pumpkins on the ground. “How many of these do we need again?”

“One more, then we’ll have ten little pie pumpkins and four large ones.”

“Our baby ones are falling out,” Loki chuckled and attempted to rearrange them into the old wagon as he selected another pie pumpkin. “We’ll have to carry at least two of the big ones,” he sighed shaking his head.

“Do you want to carry them or do you want to pull the wagon?”

“I can carry them,” he said and lifted the two smaller carving pumpkins out. It gave them more room for the pie ones, and now they could tread without fear of one bumping off the side. Clint helped Loki lift the carving ones into his arms. “I’m good,” the god nodded once he’d gotten a safe hold on them.

Clint took up the wagon handle and they headed toward the tent. The archer snagged a small white one up along the way, without Loki noticing, and hid it from his sight. “We’ll being taking these,” he announced when it was their turn.

“Oh my!” the lady laughed a bit shocked. “You said a few, but I didn’t expect so many.”

“We have a large household waiting for us,” Loki explained with a kind smile.

“It’s also going to be a big family thanksgiving,” Clint added. “So, we might or might not be back for more pie ones.”

“Well our fields are opened until the first major frost. After that it’s in a barn and the price goes up a bit.”

“That’s fine,” Clint nodded as Loki started setting the pumpkins on the table. He waited until the god had gone to the wagon before leaning in and whispered, “Keep this one hidden from him,” he said and jerked his head toward the god.

The lady nodded and zipped her lips. “Put it in your pocket,” she mouthed.

He did so just in time. “What?” Loki asked looking at Clint’s overly innocent face.

“Nothing,” the archer shrugged.

Loki got into the ‘mother-will-know-all’ stance. “I know that look and that is not a look of nothing.”

“I was thinking about how many we have. I mean look,” he said gesturing to the wagon and then looked at the god.

“Fine keep your secrets for now,” Loki sighed giving in for the time. He set the pumpkin onto the table, “I’ll learn of it soon enough.”

“Maybe,” Clint muttered. Loki stared hard at him and narrowed his eyes before going back.

“My, my, these are some nice pumpkins,” the woman sighed admiring her family’s handy work as she measured and recorded them down. “You both have great eyes. Not that our pumpkins are bad, but these ones are the cream of the crop. I should charge you extra.”

“Whatever you think is fair,” Clint said and separated the little ones to show her how many they had.

“Alright, you have two twentyish pounders, a twenty four pound, and a very large, unnatural, and a lucky finding fifteen pounder. That’s thirty-nine, fifty. And…” she leaned over the table and counted. “Three fairytale pies, three baby pam sugar pies, and one New England.”

“What? There are like four baby pies and three Cinderella ones,” Clint gasped.

The lady put her hands on the table and gave him ‘the _look’_. “Are you telling me what kind of pumpkins I grow in my field, boy?”

“No,” Loki said stepping in to smooth things over. “Clinton’s not familiar with the names and differences; he only thought that all of these small round ones were the same. That is all.”

Clint nodded hurriedly. “I honestly didn’t mean to upset or offend you. I just know what to look for, not the finer points of pumpkin farming.”

The woman nodded and relaxed, “It’s fine. I can see how they are the same to someone who hasn’t grown them as long as I have. I apologise for jumping to conclusions.”

“It’s cool,” Clint said and then pointed to them. “So, what are the differences?”

“Stem, colour, ridges, size, shape. It’s very obvious.”

“Yes,” Clint nodded pretending to see it all as he looked at them. “I can see it now.”

“Don’t bullshit me, I know you can’t,” she laughed waving her hand. “We’ve got two five pounders, a four, a sex, two sevens, and a hefty nine: twenty-three-fifty. Your total comes out to sixty-three.”

“Alright,” he smiled and pulled out his wallet as Loki began reorganising and filling their wagon. “We’ll put these in the…car, and bring it right back.”

“My grandson will help you,” the lady said and counted the crisp twenties and a five in cash he handed her. She pushed the numbers in the tiny register they had and then gave him his change. Clint shook his head and looked over his shoulder as he pointed to his pocket trying to give her a dollar back. The lady refused to surrender.

“Aren’t little ones like fifty-cents?” he whispered.

“Yeah, and you bought a lot of pumpkins, one mini isn’t going to kill my business,” she said sweetly back and then took his hand to put the dollar back into it. “And you might come back for more. You both are sweet and I’m a great judge of character. You can have it.”

“Well, thank you very much,” Clint said with an appreciative smile.

“He’s not from around here is he,” the lady asked with a glance at the god.

“Uh, no,” Clint shook his head. “He’s from…Norway. They only have like two types of pumpkins in his village. Very far out in the snow, not a lot of city contact.”

“He’s got a good eye though,” she smiled at him and winked, “Not bad on my eyes either.”

Clint busted out laughing. Loki looked at him concerned. Barton waved at him to signal things were okay. “Yeah, he’s,” he sighed in a dreamy fashion as he watched the god introduce himself to the young man who would be helping them. “He’s an amazing individual.”

“Are you going to marry him?” the woman asked prying into his personal business.

Clint chuckled and blushed as he rubbed at the back of his head and looked at his feet bashfully. “Yeah,” he said and nodded his head. “Yes I am.”

“Well good,” she said and slapped her hands gently on the table. “Because if you don’t I will.”

Clint laughed again and thanked her once more. “I have a feeling well be back again, if not this year, than next.”

“Well you both are welcome, as well as anyone else you bring,” she said. “Have a great Halloween and I hope you enjoy those pie pumpkins.”

“Oh we will,” he promised and waved farewell as he went to were Loki and the young man were.

“Clinton, I’d like you to meet Stephen, with a ‘ph’,” Loki said introducing them. “Stephen, this is my intended, Clinton.”

“Nice to meet you,” the young man said with a smile and shook the archer’s hand warmly. “So point the way and I’ll help you both settle your cargo in.”

“It’s uh, up that hill, so we’ll have to take the long path,” Clint explained as he pointed toward the hill.

Stephen looked up and nodded. “Totally fine. We have people parking up there all of the time.”

“Alright cool,” he said and took Loki’s free hand. “Let’s go then.”

“We should probably warn you, Stephen,” Loki said as they began the trek up the hill on the dirt packed path. “Our ‘car’ is fairly unusual.”

“Yeah? How so?”

“It’s rather large.”

“Like a van?”

“Much bigger,” Clint said.

“Oh do you both have one of those new Hummer’s?” he asked excitedly.

“Sure,” the archer shrugged. “We’ll call it that.”

“It flies,” Loki nodded happily, hoping to help add to the young man’s eagerness to see the craft.

Stephen frowned confused, yet followed them up. When they got to the spot Clint unlocked and de-cloaked the small craft.

“Holy shit-balls!” the young man whispered amazed.

“Yeah, wait until you see the inside,” Clint chuckled and started up the ramp. Loki pulled the wagon up it with a smile as Stephen continued to gape in awe at it.

“Are you guys like Special Forces or something?” he asked following them in.

“You could say that,” Clint shrugged and started carefully loading the pumpkins Loki handed him into a storage compartment.

Stephen turned his head and stared at a large “A” painted on the inside of the craft’s entrance. “Oh my god,” he whispered as he put two-and-two together. “You both are Avengers.”

“Surprise,” Loki laughed.

“Oh my god no one is going to believe me,” he shook his head completely blown away by his current situation.

“We can take pictures and sign things if it will help your story?” Clint offered.

“Would you?” Stephen asked excitedly.

“Yeah,” he shrugged. “Why not?”

“Well thank you,” he grinned and then realised he wasn’t helping them as he should have. “Here, let me,” he said and went to take the larger carving pumpkin.

“Do be careful,” Loki warned with a smile.

“I’ll be fine. I’ve lifted big-ah!” he said once he’d stood too quickly and nearly fell over backward down the ramp. Thankfully, Loki had been standing prepared and caught him.

“Are you alright?” he asked.

“Oh my god an Avenger is touching me,” Stephen whispered with wide eyes.

“Yeah,” Clint said taking the pumpkin from the boy had so that he could finish putting the little ones on top of them all.

Loki helped him to stand correctly. “Are you alright?” he asked again.

The boy nodded his head stupidly.

“Okay that’s it,” Clint said and shut the lid. “Do you want to take pictures next to the craft so that your friends can’t argue you were in it?”

Stephen nodded and hurried outside with the wagon. Loki smiled and held out his hand for Clint to take as they exited the jet. Stephen excitedly bounced around asking questions Clint could only half answer before the kid set up his phone on a stump and hurried to take a picture next to the jet and the two heroes. It was an alright photo, so Loki suggested one of them take it while the other two posed.

Loki walked a short distance away and turned around aiming the phone at the two and the jet. He pushed the button on the screen, just like Clint showed him, and the phone made a noise. He returned to show Stephen.

“Wow this is great! Can I take another with you?” he asked looking at the god.

Loki blinked a bit taken aback. “I…I suppose,” he shrugged. “If you want?”

“Is it okay?”

“I guess?”

“Yes,” Clint laughed and took the phone from them. “Now stand next to each other and smile,” he called. They did and Clint took the picture. Stephen didn’t really have anything on for them to sign right then and there, so they promised to sign something for him when they come back. He nodded excitedly and wished them well before hurrying down the hill to show off his pictures and his story with his grandmother.

“Cute kid,” Clint said and put his arm around Loki to steer him into the craft.

“Yes, I think so as well,” he smiled and took a seat in the second chair. “He has a very lively spirit.”

“Yeah,”

“And he’s a great artist,”

“He draws?” Clint asked buckling himself in.

“Mhm, he was talking about going to a school in New York when we first met.”

“Nifty,”

“Indeed,” he said strapping himself in and leaned back. “So what is next?”

“Surprise,” Clint said turning the craft on and lifted the ramp.

Loki chuckled, “You and your surprises.”

“You’ll like this one.”

“I liked this last one.”

“Yeah but you’ll like this one too.”

“I don’t doubt it,” Loki smiled and looked at the archer. Clint smirked at him and held out his hand. Loki took it and they rose into the air.

\-------------------------------------------------

Tony threw opened the front doors. “Alright people let’s hurry. We’ve got a plane to catch in fifteen, Miss Potts is waiting,” he said as several of his employees rushed into the mansion and up the stairs. “All bags are packed, we just need them loaded up and gone.”

“What’s all this?” Steve asked coming out of the kitchen with a beer in hand.

“Vacation elves. They help with the luggage stuff,” Stark explained and went up to him. He set his hands on his shoulders and sniffed. “I’ll miss you,” he said and hugged him briefly.

“Uh?” Steve said a bit confused by the genius’ sudden emotional state. Natasha came to stand beside him.

“And you,” Tony said leaving the soldier to hold out his hands and hug Natasha. “I’ll miss you.”

“Okay,” she said and patted his back nicely.

“Where is Brucy?”

“Here,” he sighed and held out his arms. “Safe trip.”

“Will do,” he said taking one of his hands to shake instead. Banner seemed a bit taken aback by the gesture, but he smiled and shook his hand warmly regardless. The Hulk sensed something was wrong. Bruce told him to leave it for now.

“Is Pepper coming in to say farewell?” Natasha asked.

“No,” said Tony.

“Yes,” Pepper said coming toward them. “Of course!” She smiled and hugged Natasha tightly. “I’ll miss you all.”

“I’ll miss you, but have fun!” Romanoff said giving her an extra squeeze.

“You all too,” she said moving to hug Steve. “I mean it. And stay safe,” she added as she went to hug Bruce.

“We’ll try,” he promised.

“Where are Agent, Tom and Jerry, and the bird?” Tony asked.

“Thor and Phil haven’t returned yet, and Clint and Loki are in Michigan doing Halloween date stuff,” Natasha said.

“Oh,” Pepper made a disappointed face. “Will you give them a hug goodbye for me? And extra thanks to Loki again?”

“Of course,”

“Yeah, hugs for everyone,” Tony said nervously and started rubbing his neck.

“I’m going to say goodbye to Fury, are you coming?” she asked her boyfriend.

“No, I’ll stay here,” he said.

“Okay,” she kissed his cheek and hurried up the stairs.

“You okay?” Natasha asked him once Pepper was far enough away.

“Eh,” he said. “Vacations, flying, nothing to do but relax and…” he shrugged and crossed his arms over his chest. “I’m going to miss tinkering, that’s all.”

“You can do it,” Steven encouraged warmly. “You’ll have plenty of time to tinker when you get back.”

“Yeah,” he nodded and patted his friend’s shoulder. “So…um, I’ll see you all around, take care and stuff, I’m going…to the car,” he said awkwardly and headed away.

Natasha and Steve looked at Bruce, who followed silently behind his friend out onto the front lawn. Tony stopped and rubbed his hands along his arms, trying to suppress a shiver.

“Hey,” Bruce said coming to stand next to him.

“Hey,” he said rather softly. It was very uncharacteristic of him and it worried Bruce and the big guy.

“So uh,” he shrugged and rubbed at his chin. “You okay?”

“Nope,” he blatantly answered. “No I’m not.”

“Want to talk about it?”

Tony sighed heavily. “I can’t…I don’t even know what it’s all about. Yesterday, I was fine. I woke up this morning, I was fine. I went and bought peaches for Pepper, and I was fine. I walked into her office, I was _really_ fine. Now I’m not fine.”

“Did you two have a fight?”

“No, I just…I guess…I guess it’s the whole…if I leave here…I just feel like…if I leave, something bad is going to happen” he said, his voice uncertain as he realised how lame that sounded out loud.

“It’s okay,” Bruce said gently and set a comforting hand on his shoulder. “I promise you that we will take good care things here. You’re part of the team, and we owe you a lot. I mean you’re letting us stay in your family’s house. I think that speaks enough for itself of the level of trust we’re at.”

“I know, it’s just a stupid thought, but,” he sighed. “God I feel like I’m fourteen again.”

Bruce smiled and patted his shoulder. “In all honestly, I don’t think boys get past that age.”

“Oh ha, ha,”

“Tony?” Pepper called from the stairs and then waved upon seeing him and Banner. “There you are,” she said coming over. “Is everything alright?” she asked as she neared and saw their faces.

“Yeah it’s fine,” Bruce said. “Tony was just telling me about how he can’t wait to go on this vacation with you.”

“Oh Tony that’s so sweet,” Pepper said and hugged him. Tony gave Bruce a secret thumbs-up to thank him for playing it cool. Bruce nodded understandingly. “We’ll bring stuff back for everyone, okay?” she said letting Stark go and gave Bruce one more hug.

“You don’t have too. You both getting some much needed rest is going to be good enough for us.”

“For you maybe, but Clint?” she chuckled and shook her head. “I’m going to go and wait in the car,” she kissed Bruce’s cheek farewell and headed off.

Bruce looked at Tony and then offered his arms again. This time Tony gave him a hug.

“I think I’ll miss you most of all,” he whispered.

“Just click your heels,” Bruce reminded.

“Oh if only Steve was standing here…” he sighed and they both grinned at how silly they were being. “I uh…I left you a present already,” Tony said rubbing his nose and looked around when they let each other go. “You know where to find it,” he said and then left the curious and confused scientist.

He opened the car door and looked around the yard, as if checking to see things were in order before leaving. He tapped his ARC reactor a few times and then stepped into the car. It pulled away and that’s when Bruce knew what he was talking about.

He swallowed and forced himself to not hurry into the house.

\-------------------------------------------------

“We’re here!” Clint cheered.

Loki laughed and sat up to look out the front windshield. “What a cosy looking house,” he said as he gazed at the place from afar.

“Yeah? How about that orchard?” he smiled and pointed to the large orchard to their left.

Loki took it in and nodded. “It is rather large. Are they all apples?”

“Those are, but this place also sells some other things: cider, doughnuts, raspberries, peaches, and squash.”

“Huh,” Loki said and waited until the craft had safely landed before he unstrapped himself. “That is a very diverse collection.”

“Yeah,” Clint muttered and turned it off before unbuckling himself and opened the hatch. “So what do you want to do first? Eat a little or pick stuff?”

Loki shrugged as they went down the ramp. “I am unsure. Are you hungry yet? I know it is early still,”

“I could stand to wait a bit, but I’ll get you something if you want it?”

Loki shook his head has he considered his needs. “I am at the same point.” He looked at the archer as they stood before the jet. “Pick ‘stuff’ then?” he offered.

Clint smiled and pushed the button to close, lock up, and hide the craft. He held out his arm and Loki took it with a large smile and a faint amount of colour to his cheeks. They walked from the path with the other people going in toward the orchard or out on their way home. The trees around them were partially to nearly bare, their leaves littered the ground and crunched under foot in a crisp way. The area smelled of warm autumn spices, the sweet scent of apples, and cold.

They went to the register and obtained hand-stamps.

“Just the two?” the young lady asked.

“Yes,” Clint said.

“What size bag do you wish to purchase?”

“Two half bushels and a peck, please.”

“Okay, forty-six please,” she said giving them the sturdy cloth bags.

Clint fished out the money and paid her. She put the money into the register and printed the receipt to give to him. “Thank you so much. Please enjoy your visit.”

“Thanks,” he smiled taking the bags and pocketed his wallet. He handed a bag to Loki and they headed toward the field.

“These are bizarre,” the god said looking the thing over.

“They are designed a certain way to help you pick and carry,” Clint laughed and made them stop so that he could help the god slide the criss-crossed straps over his head. It fit so that the front of the bag was resting over his abdomen, and the crossed part was at the centre of his back.

“There,” Clint smiled and put his on. “You’ve picked apples before, yes?”

“Yes,”

“Good, then it’s the same. Just get the best looking ones to take home. Come on,” he said taking the god’s hand. “Let’s go further in. I bet hardly anyone goes this far out.”

Loki smiled and they hurried, avoiding tripping on the fallen ones, and moved further into the orchard. They found several trees that looked as though they hadn’t been touched by anyone yet so they began searching for the best looking apples.

“What are these?” Loki asked as he gently took one off of the tree.

“Honeycrisp,”

“Are they good?”

“Yes, very. Try one,” Clint encouraged. “You can sample at least one of each. I mean, I did just spend four extra bucks to get us in,” he laughed.

Loki smirked and then bit into the bright candy red flesh flecked with yellow-green. It was firm and sweet, yet tarty in all of the right ways one would expect an apple to be. It also was much juicier than what he anticipated and he had to hold his hand up and wipe some of it from off of his chin.

Clint laughed. “Any good?”

Loki hummed and nodded licking his palm and pulled out a clean tissue he had in his pocket from earlier. “Delicious,” he managed over the mouthful he had.

Clint laughed harder and continued to pick the apples.

“Are these the only ones here?” Loki asked after swallowing his first bite of the fruit.

“No, I think they have one more kind, but that’s further that way,” he waved a hand down toward the left of him. “Hey pick half a bag and then we’ll combine them and go pick more.”

“Or we could pick and fill our bags each halfway and go pick the other kind,” Loki reasoned taking another bite and stared flatly at Clint, daring him to challenge his logic. “That way we both can still pick the other kind and one of us won’t be waiting on the other the whole time.”

The archer paused and looked at him. “I knew I loved you for a reason.”

“Is that the only one?” he asked with a coy smile.

“No, but I love being reminded of them all,” Clint flirted back and went over to steal a kiss from Loki. He hummed and licked his lips as he pulled away. “So sweet…”

“Indeed,” he said and held the apple out for Clint to take a bite from. The archer did so and they resumed their hunt.

They picked half a bag each of the honeycrisp apples before going to the secondary plain of trees. Fewer people were over in that section, yet it looked as though it had been hit hard earlier in the month.

“These are going to be no good soon,” Clint commented as he looked them over. “See? Most of these on this tree are only good for cider now.”

“What kind are these?” Loki asked gently touching one of the apples on the tree.

“Not sure, let me ask.” Clint looked around and spotted someone. “Excuse me! Good sir!” he called to the old gentleman several dozen steps away from them.

“Yes?” the man asked turning to them.

“Do you know what kind of apples these are?”

“They’re Jonagold,” he answered.

“Thank you,” Clint said with an appreciative wave and then turned to Loki. “They’re Jonagold.”

“Really?” the god raised a curious brow. “You don’t say?”

“I do.”

Loki rolled his eyes with a small sigh and put his hand in Clint’s face, gently pushing him back to tease him. Clint flicked his tongue out and tickled the god’s palm. Loki suppressed a shiver and went to a tree a few feet away. “This one,” he said.

“What?”

Loki held out his hand and nodded his head before turning to Clint. “This one I do believe is alright.”

“Looks okay,” Clint agreed coming over and started looking them over. He began picking them off and filling his basket.

Loki took one off of the branch carefully and bit into it. It’s skin was thinner and the fruit had more of a sour taste that mixed with the sweetness. It was still pleasantly juicy, just as apples should be in his personal opinion, yet the flesh felt lighter and the smell was very powerful. “I like these too,” he decided and took another bite.

“Yeah?” Clint asked.

“Which of the two do you prefer the most?” Loki asked as he looked between his two eaten apples.

“I honestly like Honeycrisp.”

“Then why don’t we get more of those?” he asked.

“Because we paid almost fifty bucks for apples, I’m taking all I can,” he reasoned.

Loki shrugged seeing his point, although he didn’t know exactly how expensive fifty dollars was on Midgard or its ratio value compared to Asgardian currency, and took another bite out of the Jonagold before putting it into the hand with the Honeycrisp and started picking.

Before long, they both had nearly overflowing bags of apples. Loki came around to where Clint was inspecting a branch and bit into his almost gone Honeycrisp.

“Having fun?” the archer asked.

“Yes,” Loki nodded.

“Damn these are heavy,” Clint said and shifted the strap on his a bit. “Could you imagine walking to empty these and lugging around apples all day?”

“Eh,” Loki shrugged and looked down at his bag. “It feels no different than being pregnant.”

Clint laughed. A woman a tree down chuckled too.

“Okay,” he said and added one more apple to the top of his bag. “Now to fill up this,” he said holding up the peck sized bag.

“What is that for?” Loki asked confused.

“It’s for us.”

“I thought all of this was for us?” he gasped gesturing between the two of them.

“It is, but like we have to share and stuff. This is for the room, because I’m lazy and I don’t like going down stairs all of the time.”

“Oh,” Loki said rolling his eyes. “In that case choose whatever ones you want. I’ll eat both kinds.”

“Okay let’s go back to the Honeycrisps,”

Loki sighed heavily. “Why didn’t you just explain this earlier and chose what you wanted then?”

“I didn’t want to,” he said furrowing his brows a little upset that the god was calling him out. “Now go,” he said gently pushing Loki back toward the other section.

“You forgot you had it,” Loki accused knowingly.

“Eat your apples,” Clint snapped back gently and continued to push at his back to keep the god moving forward.

“Yes,” Loki muttered to himself as he bit into the Jonagold, “Exactly like being pregnant.”

“What?”

“Nothing,” he sighed and then started laughing. Clint filled up his little bag and they headed toward the store area. Loki found a trash bin to dispose of his finished apple cores. Clint suggested they drop their pick off before getting anything else and Loki agreed. They went to the jet and carefully stored their harvest before heading back. Once near the register they flashed their stamps and continued on.

“That’s really what pregnancy feels like?” Clint asked rubbing his shoulder.

Loki shrugged. “Yes the weight and the inability to see my feet were similar in both instances.”

Clint laughed. “Okay, now for some cider and doughnuts!” he said excitedly and rubbed his hands together.

“What is it?” Loki asked curiously.

“Cider or doughnuts?”

“Both,” he chuckled.

“Cider is made from apples, they take like the ones on the ground and mush it up and turn it into this tasty juice, and the doughnuts are made with magic and go great with the cider.”

Loki laughed and shook his head. “Oh the suspense is killing me.”

“Well don’t die just yet, wait to have a taste first,”

“I shall try my hardest,” he promised. As they stood in line to wait, Loki lifted his nose and began smelling the air. “What is that?”

“What?”

“That smell?”

Clint inhaled looking around. He shrugged, “the smell of fall?”

“No, there is a _smell_. It’s different.”

“Describe it,”

Loki thought about how and found he could not. He shrugged apologetically and continued to smell the air. A small child and elder woman walked past him. The little one was eating strange looking pieces of something white in colour. Loki tapped Clint and pointed to the little girl.

“Popcorn?”

The god furrowed his brow frustrated and confused. “No, it can’t be. I know what popcorn is,” he said in a worried tone

“Loki, it’s okay,” Clint soothed before too much self-doubt could build. “Not all popcorns smell the same. The stuff we’ve made at home is different that the stuff they make here. It’s how the corn is processed. Fresh popcorn has a much richer smell than the bagged fake stuff.”

“Oh,” he relaxed a little and felt incredibly stupid.

“Do you want to try some?” he asked. Loki shrugged and crossed his arms before his chest. Clint wrapped his arms around him and pulled him close. “We’ll get some. That way you can try the real deal.”

They moved little by little up until it was their turn. “Can –”

“May,” Loki corrected softly.

“ _May_ we have two warm ciders, a baker’s dozen box of doughnuts and a medium bag of popcorn, please?”

“What kind of popcorn?” the girl at the register asked.

Clint blinked a little surprised and then smiled. “What kinds do you have?”

“We have plain, salted, buttered, caramel, and kettle.”

“Oh…” Clint made a face as he thought. “This sounds really stupid, but could we have one sample of each? He’s never had popcorn before.”

The girl gave Loki an odd look and then went to fetch portions of each. She returned with several small plastic cups. “Here,” she said.

“Thank you,” Loki replied and took a taste of each. He didn’t really care for the salted and plain ones. He sort of enjoyed the buttered, but the caramel and the kettle were his favourites. He pointed to the cups that those two had been in.

Clint turned to the girl with a bright smile. “Please make that two bags of popcorn: one extra-large kettle and one large caramel.”

“What kind of doughnuts do you want?”

“Uh…the kind you eat?” he asked confused. “Are there more than one kind of cider doughnuts now?”

“We have regular cider doughnuts; cinnamon sugar; powdered sugar with or without cinnamon; and glazed with or without sprinkles in vanilla, pumpkin spice, cinnamon, chocolate, or maple.”

“Just regular cider ones will do just fine, but thank you.”

“Clint?” Loki said putting his arms around one of the archer’s.

“Yeah?” he asked looking at him. He saw that look. Those large pleading eyes and knew he was about to be asked something he couldn’t refuse.

“May we also have one extra glaze to try between us?” he batted his eyes prettily.

Clint didn’t take his eyes off him. “And one –”

“Chocolate,” Loki smiled.

“– glazed doughnut.”

“Do you want tall or short ciders?” the girl asked.

“What is this Starbucks?” Clint asked confused at being asked so many questions. This had been so much simpler when he was a child. There was one size: huge, and he liked it. One doughnut: regular and he liked it. What was the world coming to with so many crazy varieties?

“Tall, please,” Loki answered.

“Alright, that’ll be, thirty-nine, twenty-two.”

Clint made a ‘yikes’ face as he pulled out his wallet and the money. “It’s worth it,” he reminded himself. Things hadn’t been that expensive in his youth either. Man had times changed…

Loki chuckled and they took their number and moved to the side. Clint put his extra change plus a few bills into the tip jar. Their ciders came up first. Loki lifted the plastic lid and blew into the steaming brown liquid before taking a small taste. Autumn personified as a liquid splashed over his tongue and poured to snuggle in his stomach. It warmed him all over and made him feel…so peaceful.

Their box of doughnuts was next on the scene.

“The popcorn is a fresh batch so we’re mixing it right now. It’ll be done in a few minutes,” the young man explained in an apologetic tone as he set the box before them.

“It’s fine,” Clint reassured. “We’ve got these,” he smiled gesturing to the box. He took a sip of his cider as the young man walked away. He turned to Loki and jerked his head toward the tables around them. “Let’s find a spot.”

“But the popcorn?” he frowned confused.

“Someone will either bring it to us or stand there waiting and I’ll see them. Come on, I want you to taste these,” he smiled and they found a small table not too far from the counter. Clint angled himself to watch for any sign of their popcorn like a hawk.

Loki smirked and continued to sip his comforting drink. He opened the box and snagged one of the doughnuts. They were slightly warm and smelled delicious. His mouth watered as he bit into the soft scrumptious treat and hummed. “Delicious!” he sighed and took another bite, shamelessly stuffing his face.

“Mix it with the cider,” Clint suggested.

Loki took a careful sip. The mix of the sweet doughnut with the warm rich spices was indescribably perfect. He hummed and leaned back in his chair very happily.

“Told you,” Clint smirked.

“Shush,” he chuckled and continued to eat his doughnut.

Clint began eating one as well. They sat in silence enjoying themselves until he noticed someone standing there looking around the area a bit dumbfounded. “Popcorn’s up,” Clint said and left the table to hurry and get their last food items.

He came back and they opened the bags to share. They filled themselves on the sugary snacks and bought another set of tall warmed ciders before trying the half glazed chocolate doughnut Loki had suggested they try. It was alright, not the best Clint had ever eaten, but it was worth the extra dollars he’d spent on it all. Loki enjoyed it more, but then again, he had honestly only made Clint get it so that he could lick the chocolate off of it. He gave the rest of the slobbery parts over to Clint, who willing finished it in two large bites. Not the best, but Clint was never one to waste a doughnut.

Once they were full, they retied up their popcorn bags, ordered another box of doughnuts to go, bagged their food up and tossed their used napkins and empty cups away. As they walked from the small booth to the store, they chatted about what else to get.

“Do you want any other fruit?” he asked as he leaned toward Loki more.

“What other fruits are there?”

“Let’s see,” he shrugged and then nudged Loki’s arm when he sensed some sort of guilt brewing inside him. “Hey, it’s fine,” he said.

“What is?” Loki asked trying to pretend all was well.

“Don’t worry about the cost, I’ve got it,” he promised.

Loki bit his lip and looked away from the archer.

“I mean it.”

“I never doubt when you do,” he whispered.

“Then let me spoil you,” he smiled and leaned to give Loki a kiss, even though he was too busy chewing his lip to reciprocate it properly. “Relish my gifts without guilt. I give them freely, just like my love.”

Loki smirked and held Clint’s face in his hands before giving him a sweet and grateful kiss. “I hope to one day spoil you,” he whispered to him without thinking.

Before he or the darkness could react to such a statement, Clint replied with: “Having you next to me every day and night is spoiling enough. Anymore and I might get cavities.”

Loki wasn’t a hundred percent certain he understood what Clint had said yet his feelings were well conveyed through the bond, as well as the goofy love-struck gaze he was giving him. It made his cheeks heat up and he didn’t know what to do with himself. He tucked his face into the archer’s shoulder. Clint laughed and gave him a small squeeze before they continued on.

They entered the busy hubbub of the store and stuck very close together. They found the fruits and veggies being sold for that year. They decided to buy a small basket of raspberries, a large jar of apple butter, and three gallons of cider. Once finished they headed back to the jet, arms laden down with bags.

Children ran around chasing ducks and adults laughed and shared food as they created warm memories with their friends and family. The darkness tried sneaking out and rotting the images Loki saw, yet the god remembered the pumpkin patch and he knew he needed to speak his next words aloud to firmly put the darkness into it’s place.

“We should bring the children here,” Loki said thoughtfully as the ramp lowered before them.

“Yeah?” Clint smiled happily and a bit surprised the god had said such a thing.

“Yes, they love apples, and I am most certain they will enjoy the cider.”

“Well then we’ll bring them here,” he promised as they walked up the ramp.

Loki smiled, even though it hurt too. When Clint wasn’t looking, he dropped his happy act and gave himself over to the miserable image of Clint with his children and mother picking apples, all dressed in mourning blacks. They’d laugh and have a good time, but it wouldn’t be the same as what he actually wanted. Yet try as he did, he couldn’t place himself there. He couldn’t see himself letting Esgar pull the wagon along or chasing the twins through the orchard with threats to tickle them if he caught up. He couldn’t see how he’d give doughnuts to Sleipnir, who’d happily eat them, or how the triplets would share a bag of popcorn, and Grimalf would drink his fill of warm cider until he was sick. They were words in his head, hopes that he couldn’t force to take shape. No, he could only see in his mind them making the most of what they had without him; brief smiles and sad faces as they sorted their grief out, talking about how the cycles of Life and Death worked, and clinging to each other for comfort…

Loki shook himself and quickly gave the archer his bags before walking to the other side to be alone as he pulled himself together. Clint let him and he was grateful that this time he did not try to cheer him with promising words or kisses. Barton did give him a comforting hug, but other than that they said nothing to one another until after they had secured their things and buckled themselves in.

Loki was ready for Clint’s next and final surprise. He needed a distraction. “This final place must be the hayride,” Loki reasoned as he adjusted his straps.

“Nope we’re going home,”

“Home?” he gaped disappointed. “But you asked Tasha if we could go to a ‘hayride’ in Michigan!”

“Yeah, well I’m tired,” he teased as they lifted off. He turned the craft toward their destination.

Loki stared at him for several moments. “You’re lying,” he decided.

“Nope,”

“You are.”

“Am not,”

“I don’t believe you,”

“What? Why not?” he asked offended.

“Because I am the god of lies, and you sir, are horrible at lying.”

“I’m pretty damn good at it,” he said puffing out his chest.

“Perhaps to the untrained,” Loki laughed.

“Okay, okay,” Clint said surrendering a little. “Then the next time I tell you something nice about yourself, you should know right away if I’m lying or not.” He looked at the god with a big goofy grin. “By the way, I don’t lie about those things.”

Loki’s face reddened a little and he turned it away, touching his fingers to the bridge of his nose and cheeks. “That’s…different…” he muttered.

“No it’s not,”

“It is,”

“Nope. When I say, ‘Lo, you are the most gorgeous, intelligent, caring, and wonderful being I’ve ever met and had the great fortune to sleep beside, and with’, I mean every word and then some.”

Loki couldn’t find the words or the will to rebuttal. Not only had Clint’s words flattered him into embarrassed pride, he had used the nickname again and it made the god feel a little lightheaded in a stomach-tied-in-knots sort of pleasing way.

“See,” Clint said. Loki slapped his arm with the back of his hand, still too flustered to reply properly. It only made the archer laugh. “You are so adorable when you blush.”

“I am not blushing,” Loki said, even though he knew it was very apparent he was. He must have looked like a virgin at their first court-season: All tongue-tied, red-faced, stomach-fluttering, and grossly unprepared for the realities of basic appetites.

“You are,” he said looking at him with a pleased smile.

“Not,” he replied in a whisper looking away, unable to do much else.

“I wish I had a camera. Then I could take pictures of you and show you. Damn you are so gorgeous.”

Loki covered his face with his hands. He was too old to be acting in such a manner, yet being with Clinton and hearing the sweet honest things he said made him feel as though he were a young love-sick child; back in a time where holding hands and sharing writing pens during lessons were actions just as serious as being married.

He decided to remain silent until he could control himself. Clint still baited him, but the ride was short and before he knew it they were circling over a small forest just outside of a vast field connected to a park decorated in honour of the season.

“Hey, we’re here,” Clint smiled and found them a place not too far away that they could land the jet at in secret. They climbed out, locked and cloaked it up, and headed across the small bit of woods into the field and toward the gates. It was seven dollars for each to get in, cheaper than if they had requested also to obtain a pumpkin while they were there, and they were given paper bracelets to wear.

Loki tugged on the bright orange and black thing a bit. “Is this the same as the stamp?”

“Yes,”

He looked it over. “It is adorable,” he decided as he admired his wrist.

“Yeah?”

“Yes, the bats,” he said pointing to the tiny little things marching along the band. “Narvia will be so excited to wear it,” he laughed, “She might even keep it on and never take it off.”

“Sounds like we have either a scrap-booker in the making or a serious hoarder,” Clint chuckled and took the god’s hand. “Come on, we have to do the corn maze before it gets too dark!”

They headed toward the far side of the very large farm and to the entrance of the maze. Clint and Loki passed a group of small children and several adults tying a rope around their middles so as not to get separated inside.

The two hurried in and willing lost themselves to the twists and turns of it all.

“Do you know the proper way to leave one of these?” Loki asked with a large grin on his face; his voice bouncing with a laugh he knew he couldn’t keep down for much longer.

“You put your hand on the wall and follow it to the end?”

“Yes, but we’re already too far in to do that, there is another way.”

“What is it?”

“The sky,” Loki pointed up. “You find the shape of the clouds and the sun, compared to how you entered, and follow them out.”

Clint looked upward at the beautiful brightly blue sky decorated with fluffy white marshmallow clouds. It was breath-taking and something he always admired about the state. “Do you want to leave the maze already?” he asked him suddenly, worried that the god had brought it up as a way to be discreet about something serious about to happen.

“No,” Loki shook his head and pulled Clint, by the opened front sides of his jacket, down a way he knew lead to a dead end. “No, I don’t.”

The look in the god’s eyes and the way he was pulling Clint as he walked backward was so sure, so in control; it made the archer’s insides heat up.

They found their little dead end, one that had very little foot prints showing how it wasn’t often discovered, and pulled one another into a desperately needed kiss. It was delicious and wrong in such a way that made both of them excited. Loki guided Clint’s hands to his waist and then set his own on either side of the archer’s face, gently tilting his head to change the angle of their kiss. Clint’s hands dipped down a bit and slipped beneath Loki’s jacket and his sweater. The god moaned as his chilly fingers dance at the bare skin of his hips; the archer’s thumbs gently massaging toward the centre top line of his pelvic region.

Loki knew exactly what he was searching for. In his Jötunn form, that area was where his lineage markings were, and happened to be incredibly sensitive to the touch. In this form, that area was still pretty sensitive, however not to the point that Loki knew Clint was looking for. He still moaned and sighed when Clint’s thumbs brushed that spot, just quieter, and more for the sake of not being caught than the lack of sensation.

They leaned down, Clint and Loki carefully holding one another as the archer dipped him slightly. They both knew they had to stay standing though, if they hit the ground it would be over and they’d be escorted out with their pants around their knees in handcuffs.

Loki hummed… _Handcuffs…_

Clint gripped him tighter and kissed him harder. _Stop or I’ll spank you._

_Show no mercy when you do it. You know how I love it._

Clint groaned in frustration and they moved closer to the ground and a potentially wondrous disaster.

Suddenly, there was the sound of running feet and the two of them quickly broke away and straightened themselves just in time. The group of little kids from before came around the corner and stopped. They stared at them for a moment.

Loki and Clint stared back.

“A dead end,” Clint said with mock enthusiasm and shook his hands and arms as if he were excited about it.

“Dead end!” they all cheered and headed back the way they came, laughing and shouting.

Loki blushed and tucked some hair behind his ear as he looked at the ground. Clint smiled and kissed his cheek before putting his arm around his waist and led him back into the main part of the maze. They stayed together for a time until they were near the heart of it and then decided to split up.

“First one out gets something as a reward,” Clint giddily bounced on the balls of his feet.

“What is the reward?” Loki asked; staying level headed enough to know the terms and conditions.

Clint shrugged. “Whatever he wants?”

“Very well,” Loki smiled becoming excited.

“No cheating,” Clint warned.

Loki rolled his eyes, “Honestly Clinton?”

“I’m just saying so that everyone knows everyone is on the same page.”

“Fine,”

“Alright, ready?” Clint asked spreading his legs apart and swayed back and forth as he bent his knees in a goofy fashion.

“Yes,” Loki replied, trying to stay focus and not laugh at his ridiculous antics.

“One,” Clint said still bobbing awkwardly.

Loki sighed heavily and shook his hands and arms out.

“Twwwwoooo,” he elongated and did a lunge.

He rubbed at his face and then put his hands on his hips.

“Three!” he said quickly and they both took off.

They were surprised to find that they had chosen to take the same path.

“You’re cheating!” Clint called as they ran through the maze.

“I most certainly am not!” he replied as he tried to gauge a good speed that would keep him in the lead without risk of running someone over.

“Then don’t follow me!”

“I am not following you!”

“Are too!”

“Clint, don’t make me run,”

“You’re not running now?” he cried exasperated.

“No, I am speed walking now,” Loki announced with a satisfying mirk.

“Cheater,” he laughed and they both slowed to a stop when they came to a fork in the road. One side went to the left and one to the right. Both looked identical and had people equally walking back and forth between them.

Loki held out his hand.

“I said no cheating,”

“I am _not_ cheating,” he said tightly.

“Then what are you doing?”

“Feeling the air,”

“Cheating,”

“It’s a skill. No magic is being used,” he said in a tone that suggested if Clint didn’t cease his pestering he would either receive no more kisses for the rest of the week or fiercely be tackled to the ground and smooched.

“Yeah well I don’t need to do that in order to know that this is the right path,” Clint said and headed toward the right turn. “Bye! Hope you enjoy what I plan for my reward,” he said with a small salute as he disappeared around the corner.

Loki rolled his eyes and headed down the left path. It proved to be the correct one, not that the other had necessarily been a dead end, but Loki found that the way he had chosen pushed him toward the exit faster by having shorter paths with more side outlets so that he could judge faster if they lead anywhere or not.

He hurried, careful not to bump or run into anyone as he navigated the maze. He only ran into maybe a handful of dead ends, yet quickly recalculated which direction he needed to go. He found the exit and saw Clint directly down the other side sprinting to victory.

He redoubled his efforts and they met up in the middle, both leaving the maze at the same time.

“I won!” Clint said breathlessly with his fists in the air.

“We both did,” Loki pointed out, not as winded, yet still worked up.

“I saw the exit first,” he childishly countered. They both laughed and stood before the other, putting their arms around and indulged in a small breathless victory kiss. “Wanna go again?”

Loki nodded. They went through the maze several more times, once more to race from the beginning to the very end, and the rest just to amble and talk. They talked of their interests mainly: what book Loki was currently reading, it was _Twelfth Night_ ; more of their favourite foods, with many of Loki’s chosen dishes being ones Clint didn’t recognise until he described them; Clint’s favourite books and movies; and finally a topic they had to share with the bond.

 _This is a highly inappropriate subject for such a place,_ Loki reprimanded trying to move away. It was more of a teasing action, for he really didn’t want to leave Clint’s side.

 _Just tell me,_ Clint begged pulling him back to his side and linked their arms.

Loki felt his face redden a bit and he shook his head with a sigh as he gave in. _I enjoy it on my hands and knees._

 _Yeah you do,_ Clint commentated in a manner that made Loki’s skin prickle with delight.

He swatted his arm playfully and leaned into him a bit. _I also enjoy it…on my back, but only with you._

_Yeah? Legs spread wide?_

_They have to be in order to get around your waist,_ he said back with an air that challenged Clint to argue with that logic.

_I mean they could be wide and off to the side, or wrapped around my shoulders. Your legs are long enough._

_They are not,_

_Are too, and they are gorgeous. I’m obsessed with them._

_You said you were obsessed with my ass,_

_I’m obsessed with all of you,_

Loki turned his face away trying to hide his pleased grin and pink cheeks.

 _I like it when you ride me,_ Clint said. _Regardless if you’re on top of me, or beneath me; you get into this zone, and it’s like you just don’t care how it happens you just want to fuck. And you want it hard and fast and right then and there._

 _Do we have to keep this up now?_ Loki asked looking around embarrassed. He knew no one could hear them, but people were observant and someone was bound to know. He didn’t know how, but his mother was always one that knew what people were thinking without them having to say much. It was very unnerving at times.

 _Yes,_ he chuckled.

 _Very well,_ he sighed, pretending it was a tedious chore to carry on talking with him. _What are your favourite positions?_

_I love it when I’m on my back and completely covered. Like your weight is on me, my legs are up and pressed into my chest and I really can’t move anything. It’s frustrating but satisfying. I also love it when I’m being pressed into the wall._

_We’ve only ever had intercourse in that position once and that was under the Tesseract,_ he recalled and then felt his spirits drop a little. _I barely remember being under Her influence…especially as time goes on._

 _Me too,_ he said and hoped his feelings comforted Loki in the sense he was not alone. _But I’ve done that position a few times, and damn that angle!_ He blew out a puff of air. _Gets me good._

_That was not proper Midgardian._

_English,_ _I know,_ Clint chuckled. _We should do that,_ he said with a firm nod. _Next sex, we do the wall._

Loki laughed. _Is that going to be our shared victory?_

_Yes, what are you going to add to it?_

_I’ll consider my addition,_ he said with a wicked grin.

Clint smiled at him. “I like it,” he said and the found themselves at the final stretch of the maze. “Do you want to go through again or continue on to other activities?”

“Let us continue and should we desire it we may return,” Loki concluded with a casual small shrug.

“Alright,” he nodded in agreement. “To do some games then.”

They went to the ticket booth and purchased some to use on the autumn-style carnival games. Clint did a ring-the-bottle toss and won them little flashing pumpkin light necklaces. He taught a little girl how to aim correctly and she won herself a large glittery spider ring and some stickers, which she shared with Clint. She pressed the small bat to his cheek before giving it a shy kiss to show her gratitude.

Next, they visited the orange and purple milk bottle pyramids where they both took turns trying to break the pyramid in their lane. Loki had promised not to use magic and found that since he relied so heavily upon it, over the years his aim had become poor.

“Here,” Clint said standing behind him and held Loki’s arm back. “Don’t overextend your arm; give your elbow a little bend…there.” He smiled and then turned Loki’s body a bit. The god flushed a little as Clint’s warmth seeped into his clothes. His breath was just on his ear and he was so close. His hand firmly at his hip wasn’t helping either, especially as images of earlier in the maze returned to tease him. He inhaled sharply and held his breath.

Clint smirked knowingly. “Alright now when you let go, keep your wrist loose, and your body relaxed. Breathe with the release of the ball, and keep your eyes on the target. Don’t blink.” He took a step back and waited.

Loki gave himself a moment and then threw it. He almost hit the milk bottles. The guy running the both came over and handed him another ball. The god sighed frustrated.

“Okay, wait,” Clint said coming to stand next to him. “You were close, but you didn’t breath and you tensed up on release. You have to stay relaxed. Let the energy that you want to use flow from your centre, through your arm and hand, and into the ball. You are just taking it and making it an extension of yourself.” He said and put the ball into Loki’s hand. “This ball is a piece of you. You want to touch the bottle right?”

“Yes,”

“Then do it. Reach for those bottles and touch them. Use the ball.” He smiled encouragingly at him and then stepped out of the way.

Loki positioned himself again and applied Clint’s method. He hadn’t even realised the ball had left his hand until the vendor running the booth was ringing the winner’s bell. He turned excitedly to Clint and made a small bounce before covering his joyful face with his hands.

“Yeah!” Clint cheered and pulled him into a hug. “You did great! See I told you, you could do it. You just needed a reminder.”

“Pick a prize,” the man said pulling up the large bucket onto the table.

Loki searched through and found a small plastic wand. He held it up and pushed the button. It started flashing different colours. He pushed the button again and the pattern changed. He pushed it once more and it lit up solid purplish-blue. He smiled and held it up for the vender to see. “May I choose this?”

“It’s rightfully yours. You also get two small ones from this bucket because you knocked down all three bottles.”

Loki picked out plastic spider rings, since they already had necklaces and he couldn’t find a bracelet that would fit them. They thanked the man and went to play a hacky-sack toss and a duck-pond game. They were successful with the first, taking small skull bubble necklaces away as their prize, however Loki picked a green round sticker-bottom duck and Clint picked one with a pink star sticker. They were each given a tiny four-sticker sticker sheet and a: “Better luck next time,” from the young girl dressed like one of the Mummies on the decorations Loki had helped Natasha put up.

They turned their attention to a make-shift fun-house where they were lead through the dark to feel some gross creepy eyeballs, guts, and brains from a witch’s layer. Loki was horrified and refused to keep his hands in the bowls after only touching two things. They left quickly and went to wash the slippery gooey residue off of their hands.

“It’s fake,” Clint said trying to help the god calm down.

“It’s…it’s disgusting,” he replied trying to keep himself from panicking. The darkness moved within him and started bringing images to his mind. He held a wet hand to his forehead and closed his eyes. They couldn’t afford him losing it here. They were too far away from home and Clint couldn’t carry Loki to the jet.

“Loki, it’s okay,” he said and rubbed his back. “Loki they weren’t real I promise.”

“They felt it,” he whispered trying to keep himself together. He was so pathetic. He was panicking in the middle of nowhere for strangers to see over something that, apparently, was fake. It was all too public and overwhelming.

“Come on,” Clint said and turned the god to face him. Loki struggled a little, but Clint carefully held him. “Look at me.” Loki did. “I’m going to help show you. I need you to hang in there for a little bit longer and trust me. Can you do that?” Loki nodded and reluctantly let Clint drag him back to the front of the house. He kept a few feet away and cross his arms firmly over his chest, refusing to even look at the place. It made his stomach twist uncomfortably.

“Excuse me,” Clint said to the older woman dressed in a very well made velvet navy blue witches costume. “I’m sorry to bother you ma’am, but I was wondering if you wouldn’t mind helping us?”

“Yes, my dears what can I do for you both?” she asked with a kind smile.

“My fiancé here isn’t from America and he has PTSD. He’s never been through a spooky kid’s house like this with the food set up to be creepy inside parts, and he’s not taking it too well; would you mind taking us through, but with the lights on so that he can see?”

“Oh of course!” the woman replied and hurried out of her chair. She opened the flap of fabric, which was painted like a door, and spoke to someone on the inside who was covered in glow-licks. They nodded and went further in to speak with the others, who were also decorated to help them see who and were the staff was.

She returned to them. “They said it’ll be another few minutes, but once the last group is through we’ll take you through. Does he need anything? Water? A chair?”

“I don’t think he wants anything, but I’ll ask. Thank you,”

“No problem, dear,”

Clint went to Loki. “We’re going to go thro–”

“I don’t want too,” he snapped, more irritated at the darkness and the headache he was started to get trying to keep the images from his mind than at Clint.

“We’re going to go through with the lights on so you can see what you were touching,” Clint said as though he hadn’t been rudely interrupted. “Do you want anything while we wait?”

“No,” Loki said and stared hard at the ground.

“Don’t feel so bad, plenty of people are freaked out by this stuff. I mean that’s what Halloween is about: facing your fears, being scared; that’s why we have haunted rides, spooky stories, and so many horror movies on TV this time of year.”

“I just…” he sighed frustrated and rubbed at his face.

“I know, and I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking,” he said and pulled him into a hug.

“It just felt so real…” he whispered feeling so incredibly stupid.

“It’s supposed to,” he reminded and then noticed the woman wave to him. “But I think we can go in now,” he said and let the god go. “I don’t want to make you uncomfortable,” he said holding him still in place before him. “I just want to help you, okay?” Loki nodded and they went into the ‘house’.

There was a long table with bowls of things in two lines on either side. One of the tour leaders was standing there waiting for them. She held out a hand to show them that she would start whenever they were ready.

Clint pulled Loki up to the first bowl. “These are?” he asked.

“Eyeballs,” the young woman said.

Clint stuck his hand in the bowl. “They’re just peeled grapes covered in oil,” he said and looked at Loki. “See?”

Loki hesitantly held out his hand and poked one. It didn’t feel the same. He closed his eyes and put his hand in the bowl. He shivered and withdrew it quickly. He opened his eyes and then touched the grapes again. “Okay,” he whispered with a nervous swallow. “Trick of the mind.”

“Yep,” Clint said encouragingly. “Okay, next one?” he offered. Loki nodded.

“These are mushed brains,” the woman said.

“Looks like cooked cauliflower and cottage cheese to me,” Clint said and touched it.

Loki closed his eyes and touched it before opening them. It felt so…he shook his head and nodded to show he understood now. They went through and felt the spaghetti ‘guts’, the soggy rice ‘maggots’, the dried apple ‘dried-up old man ears’, the bucket of salsa corn ‘vomit’, the solid Jell-O shaped ‘human’ heart, and the tub of blood.

Loki rubbed his fingers together as the sticky red mess stuck to his skin.

“It’s corn syrup and food colouring. It’s what they use in the movies,” Clint explained; still patient, still gentle, still so caring and kind.

Loki closed his eyes and swallowed before turning his head away. Clint got them a wet paper towel from the person standing by the back door and he helped the god wipe his hands off.

“Are you okay now?” he asked for the thousandth time.

Loki nodded.

“I need verbal confirmation: we’ve got a hayride and a bonfire still and I need to know if we have to reschedule so you can get better.”

“I’m fine now,” he said with a shaky breath and realised he actually was. He gave the archer a small, albeit tight, smile to prove it. “Thank you,” he said and then turned to address the people in the small room. “Thank you…all of you. I…I really appreciate it.”

They all replied with humble remarks of ‘it’s nothing’, ‘no problem’, and ‘anytime’.

“Okay,” Clint said with a smile to them and an appreciative wave. “Thank you again.”

“Glad we could help,” the older woman said with a smile. “My husband’s the same way. That’s why he does the fire and stories. Happy Halloween,” she said with a wave.

“Happy Halloween,” Clint replied. Loki gave a small wave and they left. “Do you want to take a break and sit somewhere? Maybe eat a little?”

“I don’t think I can eat right away,” he replied honestly and went to wash his hands again at the little outdoor sink. “But a place to sit and something to drink would be wonderful.”

“Okay,”

They found a place where a small festive play was going on. Clint left Loki on a bale of hay in the audience and went to get them something to drink. The god watched with a smile as the very young children on the stage rolled and danced around singing about being pumpkins on a fence. It helped ease him and soon he found himself relaxed and genuinely laughing at some of the preciously adorable things the children said and did.

Barton returned with two large plastic cups. “I’ve got water and an apple cider slushie. You pick,” he said holding both out to him as he sat.

“Water, if you wouldn’t mind?”

“Here,” he said giving him the purple and black stripped cup without protest.

Loki bent the springy orange straw toward his mouth and took a drink. It was crisp and delicious. It helped settle his stomach and calm him down even more. He sighed as the last bit of tension drained from him and he leaned against Clint, resting his head onto his shoulder. Clint put his arm around Loki’s waist and they both enjoyed the rest of the play, even getting up to give the children a standing ovation.

Next was a story about a boy who stumbled upon a haunted house and how he escaped from the witches that lived there. He found the spirit of the original owner of the house, who told him where he had hidden his treasure from thieves. The people performing were in middle school and did a wonderful job, in both Clint and Loki’s personal opinions. They laughed and they shouted the spells along with the boy to keep the witches back, and they each were allowed a share of the ‘treasure’ as the boy went around and let them pick a candy from the large bucket.

Loki selected a golden wrapped long piece and Clint got a silver long piece. He looked the name over. “Teewhish,” he said reading it.

“T-ah-whi-icks,” Clint corrected carefully. “Twix.”

“Twix,” Loki said correctly this time. “What is it?”

“Delicious,”

The god laughed and unwrapped it. He took a bite and then offered the other half to Clint, who took a small nibble. “Do you want more?” he asked. Clint shook his head so Loki stuffed the rest in his mouth. It was delicious, not that he ever doubted Clint when he said such things, but it was much better than he had imagined. “What did you chose?”

“A 3-Musketeers,” he said showing him the package before he opened it. “It is also delicious.”

“As delicious as a Twix?”

“Yes,” he said taking a small bite and then offered the rest to the god. Loki took a taste and nodded his head with a smile. “Indeed, it is delicious; very light and rich.”

Clint put the rest in his mouth with a noise that said he agreed. He picked up his cup and held it toward the god. “Do you want to try the apple slushie now? Before it melts and turns into watery cider?”

Loki chuckled and nodded before taking a taste. “This too is delicious.”

“There are many things in Midgard that are delicious,” Clint laughed and offered him more. They shared the two drinks as they waited for the next group to take the stage.

\-------------------------------------------------

“Here we are,” Clint said handing Loki a toasty bread bowl. The god took the tin foiled wrapped bottom carefully and blew on the steaming soup within.

“Thank you,” he said and took the spoon the archer gave him. He stirred the soup and then took a small taste. “Mhmmm, this is wonderful.”

“Brunswick stew tends to be,” he chuckled. “I was going to get this pumpkin apple spice thing, but it’s still early in the fall season and I don’t want to pumpkin us out.”

Loki chuckled. “Indeed. And the bread bowl,” he looked at Clint, warmth spreading through his chest. “You remembered?”

“Yeah,” he smiled. “I’m sorry I couldn’t find the same soup, but I figured this would be a good second.”

“It’s perfect,” he smiled and leaned in to give him a grateful kiss.

“So what’s next?” Barton asked gesturing to the stage before eating some of his soup.

“Music,”

“Great,” he smiled.

“They’re clearing the front rows for a dance space, I do believe,”

“Is that a hint?” he asked watching him.

Loki raised a secretive brow as he glanced at the archer. “What are you implying?”

Clint shrugged and played it off, “Oh nothing.”

They both laughed at how silly they were being.

An older man with a guitar, a middle-aged woman with a bodhrán, an older woman with a string bass, a young lady with a violin, and a young man with a banjo took the stage. They began playing and people around them quieted down to listen. The young man started singing a song, which took Clint a second to realise was _Mumford and Sons_ ‘ _Little Lion Man’._ He substituted the ‘f-word’ with ‘messed’ and people started singing along during the chorus.

“This is beautiful,” Loki commented. “Are they well known among your people?”

“The song is. The original singers are too, but this is their version. Like if you were to sing a famous song from Asgard. Others would know it, but you didn’t write it.”

“Oh, this is a well-known folk song then?”

“Yes,”

“Are they a common style of music for the season?”

“Depends,” Clint shrugged as he stuffed a chunk of the bread bowl into his mouth.

When they had finished their soups and bowls, Loki pulled Clint to his feet and toward the dance floor as the group, a family-made band named _Papa Jimmy and Co_ , played a fast jig. Several others had gathered and started dancing in their own style.

Loki and Clint engaged in a couple’s dance area where they held one another close and slightly off to the side as they spun in place. Clint occasionally let the god go a little so that he could twirl him in place. Loki was hesitantly shy about it at first, yet once the music picked up more, they lost themselves to laughter and spinning. Loki relaxed and added flair to his moves and Clint didn’t hide how impressed he was by them.

He pulled the god close and threw him into a low dip as the song came to an end. Loki tensed a bit and clung to Clint’s jacket front yet relaxed and threw his head back to laugh when he realised the archer had a good hold on him. Several people around them laughed and clapped at their display or cast disapproving looks and muttered dark things. Loki ignored them and blushed as Clint pulled him back up to stand properly. He covered his face with his hands and hid it in Clint’s shoulder.

“Hey! It’s great to see everyone having a good time,” the young man said into his microphone as he looked around at the crowd. “We have one more song before our time is up, but we’ll be back next weekend, we hope to see you all again. If not, then next year for sure!”

He pulled back from the microphone to gesture when to start and they played _Home_ by Phillip Phillips. Clint offered his hand to Loki and they went back to their bale of hay.

Their decorative cups had been moved aside to make room for two tiny little children, who were sitting on their knees watching with eager excitement and slobbering the food their mother handed them all over their faces and fronts. Clint retrieved their things, and they went to find a place to rinse the cups out and toss their trash, before stacking them together. The sun was lower in the sky and the bonfire was starting to be stacked high and lit. Clint went to the table and purchased two tickets for the spooky tour as well as a lunch bag full of s’more supplies.

“Here,” he said giving the bag over to the god.

“What is in it?” he asked curiously as he peeked inside it.

“Delicious,” he replied and safely stuffed the tickets into his breast pocket.

Loki laughed, “As usual.”

“We’re going to a later ride through, so we have some time to sit,”

“Why a later one?” he frowned confused.

Clint’s grin widened, “Because it’s dark and scarier.”

Loki’s mouth fell into a serious frown. “Clint,” his tone warned.

“Okay, it’s not _that_ scary, but it’s better than the others, I promise,” he said taking his arms and then pulled him close. “Now let’s go listen to some scary stories and eat this while we wait,” he nearly skipped with glee as he led Loki to the large bonfire.

“Alright, alright,” an older gentlemen, dressed in a very impressively decorated velvet navy blue warlock costume, said beckoning people to sit around the warm fire. “Everyone gather around, for I’ve a tale to tell of three sister-witches, who lived in a cottage in the middle of the woods.”

Loki and Clint sat at the front of the ring of places to sit. The archer took up a smooth stick from a pile near the man and placed a round white squishy object onto the end. He stuck it in the fire. Loki watched him as the older man told of the witches who stole children from their homes with promises of sweets to lure them into their cabin, where they stole their souls so they could live forever.

Clint waited until the thing had started to turn blackish before he took it out of the fire and blew out the flames on it. He handed the stick to Loki to hold while he set up the crackers and chocolate piece.

“Put it on the chocolate,” he instructed. Loki did his best and together they pulled the white gooey treat from the stick and smooshed it between the two crackers and chocolate bit. Clint offered it to the god who took it carefully. He sniffed it and looked it over curiously. “It’s called a s’more. They’re really good. Careful though, they’re messy.”

Loki took a bite and realised, a little too late, what the archer had meant. He tried pulling the thing back but the white gooey thing stretched. He had to use his fingers to break and bring the strings back to sit on top of the s’more. It was very good: rich, soft and creamy, yet crunchy still. It was sweet and bland all at once and Loki rather enjoyed it. He nodded and hummed in appreciation as Clint started roasting another.

“What is this?” Loki asked pointing to the white thing.

“Marshmallow,”

“A what?” he asked.

“A marshmallow. They’re sugar and gelatineblended to squishy tasty perfection.” He said and blew on the flaming blackened blubbly mess on the end of his stick. “Would you mind handing me a cracker?”

Loki used his non-messy hand to retrieve a cracker square for Clint. The archer and he both used their one hand to try and make his s’more and after an almost scary fall, Clint had it safe between his fingers and was eating it with a smile upon his face that made Loki’s heart flutter.

“You’ve got white stuff on your face,” Clint said pointing to Loki’s mouth. The god flicked his tongue out to lick it. Clint shook his head. “It’s still there,” he laughed.

Loki frowned and licked at it harder. “Better?”

“No,” he nearly doubled over laughing.

Loki wiped it off and sucked it from his finger before eating more. He paused mid-chew and stared at Clint. _I saw that._

 _What?_ he asked far too innocently.

 _That! The thing with these and being on my knees before you – after! – Clinton!_ he gasped and looked around. _We are sitting among children!_

 _Yep, imagine what I let myself think when we’re around everyone else?_ he grinned with a small devious laugh.

Loki forced himself not to smile. He turned his face away and finished his s’more without saying another word to Barton. His lips still twitched though and Clint’s pestering for kisses and more s’mores won him back over. It was a rather good thought, but the place was too public and Loki wasn’t about to let him off that hook easily. Clint had to learn.

They finished off the marshmallows slowly and by the time the sun was down many of the families with small children had left.

Loki had been perfectly fine with the tales the old man told in the beginning, for they had a moral: don’t talk to strangers, don’t lie to get attention, don’t steal, do as your parents say, don’t eat houses made of candy, etcetera, etcetera…yet once the group around the fire was primarily made up of those who had entered early adulthood and up, the stories turned into something he had not anticipated.

It was already bad enough that it was completely dark around them, the only sources of light were the bonfire and the small lamp at the entrance where people got up and off the hayride, but there was something about the horror in these tales. It was the way the man spoke them. The intensity in his voice and the oppressing darkness that enclosed them that made him shift closer to Clint and rub at his arm nervously. The rest of the area had been shut down for the evening: no more rides, games, or performance stage noises; just the screams from the woods and that did not make the situation any less creepy. The man was also very animated and made it hard not to hang on his every word.

“The boyfriend stopped the car. The two began making out, as teenagers do, when suddenly the girl saw a shadow. She pulled away terrified. ‘Zach,’ she whispered. ‘There is something outside of the car’. ‘No,’ he said. ‘It’s just a shadow from the trees’. They began kissing again. Then a noise, like metal shredding metal sounded at the back of the car. Jane screamed. Zach became upset with her. ‘Look now Jane,” he said angrily. ‘There is no such thing as the Hook Man, and you will not convince me otherwise’. He opened the door. She grabbed his arm,” the old man gasped and held onto a random person in the front row: a young lady who had been obviously scared through the whole story session.

“‘Zach!’ she whispered. ‘Don’t!’ He pulled his arm from her grasp,” the man let go of the girl. “‘Don’t tell me what to do,’ he huffed and stepped out of the car, slamming the door behind him. The girl sat in the darkness alone. She was petrified, yet didn’t hear anything or see anything. Jane sat for thirty minutes before her fear turned into anger. He had probably left her! He was such a jerk! How could he? He knew how scared she was.”

“Then suddenly,” the man became quieter. “The wind blew roughly by the car and she heard a scraping noise, softer than before, on the top of the roof. She was scared again. She called for Zach and then tried dialling his phone. Jane heard it go off just outside. She paused and listened. The scraping noise started up again with the wind. She redialled his number and it went off again. She became angry once more. The ringing was coming from the roof! He was probably outside brushing a stick on the top of the car to mess with her. But then again…she hadn’t heard or felt him climb up there…”

The old man began creeping around the fire. “Jane slowly opened the door and carefully stepped out into the night. The wind picked up again. The scratching noise was louder out there. She turned quickly, ready to catch him in the act of scaring her, and found Zach, hanging upside down, strung up from a branch on the tree they were under. He wasn’t moving…and there was a dark liquid pooling on the roof that dripped from his body… ‘Zach?’ she whispered and reached out to touch him. He dropped onto the roof with a loud thud and she screaming falling backward! She scrambled to her feet to make a run for it and…she ran right into the arms of the Hook Man!”

Several people gasped and the girl in the front row screamed a bit. She covered her face and begged her friends to let her go home.

Loki held Clint’s arm tighter and closed his eyes for a few moments as his heart fluttered in fear and slowly calmed.

“Last call for spooky hayrides!” Someone called.

“That’s us,” Clint said and helped Loki stand. “Come on or else we’ll have to go through the haunted one.”

“What’s the difference?” Loki swallowed nervously as he grabbed their empty cups. He kept a firm hold on Clint’s arm and stayed as close to him as possible.

“If you were scared by the Hook Man story, you don’t want to deal with the haunted ride.”

Loki’s eyes widened and he hurried to climb into the large wagon with several others. They settled on one of the sides near the back, Loki moving to push Clint in the corner where he had been a moment before, and then decided better of it. He snuggled up next to him and activated the light up wand he had won earlier. Clint chuckled and put his arm protectively and comfortingly around him.

“I hate you,” Loki whispered.

“I got you the PG-13 ride! I’m being nice!” he laughed and kissed the top of his head. “It’s honestly not that bad. There are worse out there.”

“Everyone ready?” the driver said. A lot of ‘no’s and ‘yeahs’ were heard. Clint gave a firm excited ‘hell yeah!’ and Loki swallowed his fear down to nod confidently. If Clint said it wasn’t bad, then it wasn’t bad. He had faced worse. He could do a simple spooky hayride. The driver flicked the reins and the two Clydesdales moved forward. The wagon lurched and they began their trip along the bumpy dark ride.

The first part of the ride was in complete darkness, only the horses seemed to know the way from memory. Then lights appeared in the trees. Not bright enough for comfort, yet bright enough to make out shapes: large thick looking webs, the branches moving without the aid of the wind, shadows darting between the trees. Loki looked behind them and then pressed himself against Clint when something moved passed him. The darkness chuckled until Clint pressed his lips to the top of Loki’s head. It hissed and deflated a little as the gesture gave Loki strength.

The lights in the trees became brighter and they could see the small space around them a little better. There was a body hanging from a tree, a skeleton now, with a sign that read ‘Go back!’. They obviously didn’t. There were screams suddenly from someone in the woods. A girl. She was running from the sounds of it. Loki perked up and looked around as the wagon slowly came to a stop. She ran onto the path a little ways down from where they had just come from. She looked at them.

“Help me!” she pleaded and staggered toward them. Her dress was torn, her hands and knees were bloody, and she looked a complete wreck. “Help me please!” she begged.

Something fury shot out from the woods and grabbed her, dragging her away. She screamed loudly. People in the wagon cried out and Loki made to go after her.

Clint pulled him back. “It’s fake,” he reassured. “It’s the same scream we heard over and over again after the sun went down. Remember?”

Loki thought about it and he realised it was the same scream from the woods. He sat back a little numb and they moved forward again. There were things that fell from the trees onto them, giant spiders and rubber bats that nearly made one of the riders pee themselves in terror; people dressed in costumes, even Loki could see were fake, ran up to scratch and bang at the side of the wagon with sticks; noises and flashing lights zipped passed them on cables overhead; hanging corpses swung very close; a setup of a witch sawing a man in two, on a large stump, for her colour-changing cauldron made several squeak and voice their fear as his screams intensified and died off; a man chasing the wagon with a chainsaw really got some of the riders, Loki honestly hadn’t known what to make of the noise so he sat close to Clint with his eyes closed until it was over; and finally the one that made Loki nearly piss himself.

The wagon stopped yet again, and this time he was prepared for another scene to make them jump and yelp in fright. He was not prepared for what he got. A hand grabbed him and he jerked away with a shout and scooted toward the centre of the wagon, pulling Clint along. There was a noise, a moaning noise; an unnatural moaning noise that made all of the hair on his body stand in fright. It stopped and all was silent for a moment, then the gate to back of the wagon was yanked opened as lights in the trees slowly turned on and the most disgusting thing Loki had ever seen in his life started crawling toward him.

“Bleeding Norns!” he hissed and pushed Clint toward the front of the wagon. Everyone scrambled back as the bloody sickly horrifying creatures moved toward them from all angles.

One woman screamed at the top of her lungs, a man started crying, Clint was laughing his ass off, and Loki was too overwhelmed to do much else than pray under his breath for the Norns to protect them. One of the monsters reached out to grabbed a woman’s arm as though he were about to bite it.

Loki went to help her and Clint stopped him. “It’s fake,” he reminded.

The woman screamed, to numb with panic to properly move. The zombie put his face very near hers and took a ragged breath in. “Thank you for coming out tonight,” he said in a deep smooth voice, no one expected to come out of him, before pulling back. The rest of the monsters moved to spread out along the path. All of them were suddenly holding top hats and canes. The woman gave a loud huff of relief as the zombies began singing and tap dancing, the lights flashing in a sort of jazzy sinister way.

Everyone relaxed back to their seats and one of the zombies closed the back gate. The wagon started moving again. It was dark once more and very still, but no one seemed to mind, for the next bit of light ahead told them they were in on their way to the drop-off/pick-up centre.

“What in the nine was that?” Loki hissed once he’d finally got his voice back.

“A zombie. A tap dancing zombie. We were lucky,” Clint said in a serious tone. “They could have wanted to sell of something stupid, like encyclopaedias or Avon.”

“Why?” he hissed, his heart still beating too quickly for comfort.

“Well normally they just aggressively eat people and sell cosmetics,” he said with a shrug. “This was a nice change.”

Loki looked at Clint to try and gauge if he was joking or not. They stared seriously at one another, one holding their façade and the other royally judging on if he still wanted to spend the rest of his life with him. Loki slapped Clint’s chest once he realised he didn’t care if he was bluffing or not. “I was scared for our lives!” he hissed upset.

“Welcome to Earthling Halloween!” Clint said rubbing his chest with a wince before opening the gate once the wagon had stopped. He hoped out and helped Loki down. The god stayed glued to his side as the archer helped the others down and everyone went their way.

“Am I to be subjected to any more horrific things this evening?” he asked, his stomach suddenly twisting as the events of the day wore on him.

“We could go on the haunted ride?” Clint grinned playfully.

Loki turned and started walking away. Clint called to him. Loki didn’t answer. He was too upset.

Clint hurried to grab his arm and started walking him the complete opposite way, which was the direction that the jet was in. They boarded and Loki put his wand, their cups, and their other goodies into the storage place. He sat in his chair and rubbed his face.

“Real talk though: are you alright?” Clint asked seriously, as he strapped himself in.

Loki didn’t answer for a moment. “Yes,” he decided. “Shaken a tad more than I’d enjoy to admit; however, I am fine,” he replied and buckled up.

“No panic attack?”

“No,”

“No darkness?”

Loki thought about it and relaxed a bit. “Oddly enough, no.”

“Okay, well we’ll be home soon, and I promise that’s the scariest thing I’m going to force you to do this year.”

“This year…” he muttered to himself as he looked out the windshield into the dark.

Clint chuckled and started the jet. The ride home wasn’t as long as what Loki had remembered the drive out to be. Clint kept their conversations light and short and spoke only of simple things, which Loki was thankful for. He was suddenly exhausted and found he needed all of his focus to stay awake and calm enough to keep the darkness from surfacing. He could feel it simmering under his skin and he knew that any small thing could set it off.

They landed safely on the back landing pad and road it down to the hanger. Once down they started gathering up their things, taking the easiest first, and started up for the kitchen. Thankfully help from Natasha and Bruce awaited them.

Loki complained to Natasha about the horrid things he was subjected to endure at the last spot and about Hook Man as they carried in pumpkins.

“Why do you laugh?” he said a tad angry at her response.

“Because,” she said, “he must _really_ love you. He never goes that easy on people.”

“How do you mean?” Loki asked setting some pie pumpkins down on the counter.

“When I went with him the first time, I was subjected to not one, but four haunted houses. And they weren’t the little kiddie ones where it’s just mildly spooky; no I was chased by a guy with an axe, a horde of zombies, a man that looked like someone I knew from long ago – it was a nightmare! I’m a trained assassin with a royally fucked up past; I can sit and watch scary movies all day and night in the dark; and I’ve tortured people and been tortured, but I can _not_ deal with those places. Too real,” she sighed shaking her head. “Too real.”

Loki exhaled heavily. “I feel the same.”

“But apart from that, how was the rest of it?” she asked leaning against the island opposite him.

“It was…” his face melted into a goofy shy grin. “It was wonderful. I loved it all; even the scary parts.”

She smiled. “Good. I’m glad. Are we…” she lowered her voice and looked around to see if they were alone. “Are we still doing the thing for Halloween?”

He frowned for a second and then nodded once he figured out what she meant. “Yes.”

“Evening, yeah?”

“Yes,”

“Alright, the stuff is in my closet. You can borrow whatever makeup and things you need to finish it. You remember how I showed you to use the curling iron?”

“Yes,” he nodded.

“What?” Clint asked coming around the corner.

“I asked him if he was leaving you after being subjected to today’s events,” Natasha said covering for them.

“What?” he barked, setting some pumpkins down, now actually paying attention to their conversation.

“It was the tap dancing zombies,” Loki replied and crossed his arms before his chest with a snobbish look that said it all.

“I’m going to go cry,” Clint flatly said leaving the room, his shoulders slumped.

“Oh Clint,” Loki sighed going after him worried. “We were only teasing,” he said pulling him into a hug. Clint pressed his lips firmly together and stared at him with a look that said he wasn’t convinced. Loki laughed and cradled his face in his hands. “Is it now my turn to shower you with adoration and proclaim how magnificent you are until you come around?”

Clint shrugged nonchalantly. “You can if you want,” he said, though there was a note to his voice that suggested he was really hoping the god would. Loki kissed him. It was deeply heartfelt and passionate in a calm way that made all of the hair on Clint’s body rise and a slow shiver travel down his spine.

Loki slowly pulled back, a smile on his face as he looked at the archer. “My dearest Clinton,” he began and smoothed Clint’s hair back lovingly. “As you have reminded me time and time again, and most likely will forever more, just as you would never leave my side I would never willingly leave yours.” Loki leaned in close and whispered, “You are stuck with me.”

Clint smiled and pulled him into a warm embrace.

“Okay, your PDA points for the day are spent, get out of here,” Natasha said shooing them off.

“But the stu–” Clint began.

“Take your wee bags and go. I’ve got the rest,” she said giving him the peck of apples they had picked as well as the bag containing their prizes and cups.

“Thanks Nata,” he smiled and gave her a quick hug and a kiss on the cheek. “Come on,” he said excitedly to Loki and took his hand before hurrying him off to their room.

Steve entered the room. “What…happened?” he said looking around at all of the pumpkins in their kitchen.

“Clint,” she sighed and sat at one of the tall stools at the island. She rested her chin on her closed fist. “He’s trying to kill me this Thanksgiving…”

“Well if he wants a pie for himself he’s going to have to help,” the solider firmly stated, laying down the law.

Natasha laughed. “You’ve never seen Clint cook anything that isn’t a tv dinner, have you?”

“No, what happens?”

“Let’s just say we’ll need a lot of Band-Aids, a fire extinguisher, and a possible trip to the ER.”

“Yeah?” he said coming over to stand next to her. She turned to face him. “I guess he doesn’t get pie then,” he shrugged as he put his arms around her.

“I’m going to tell him you said that, mister,” she warned with a smile and leaned into his chest.

“Good,” he laughed. “By the way, Happy Halloween,” he said holding up a small bag.

“Oh,” she smiled and excitedly opened it. She lifted out a small satiny orange piece of fabric with a large bat on the back of it and realised what it was. “Happy Halloween indeed,” she smirked, dropping the shiny piece of male lingerie into the bag and pulled him toward their bedroom.

Bruce stood by the door holding two jugs of cider and sighed. “I guess I’ll just finish getting the stuff…” he said to himself. The Hulk sighed and shook his head in a disappointed manner. “Don’t judge me and give me that look,” Banner muttered testily.

 _One day…_ the big guy said and Bruce felt as though he was sympathetically being patted on the back.

“One day?” he scoffed rolling his eyes as he put what he could away and finished getting the last of the things from the jet. “Y’know I had a life like that once…” he whispered sadly.

Guilty, the Hulk left him alone for the rest of the night. He decided to spend it drinking in the lab and decoding the flashdrive Tony had left him under his bed.

\-------------------------------------------------

Clint and Loki entered their room and promptly removed their outerwear and shoes. Loki let his hair down and shook it some as he went into the bathroom to relieve himself and ready for bed while Clint went into the closet to strip and find pyjamas. As Clint entered the bathroom, he found Loki rinsing his face. He cupped some water to his mouth, swished it, and spit before taking the towel to pat at his face as he turned to Clint.

“Hmmm,” Loki hummed and pulled him into an embrace. “Thank you for today. I enjoyed it immensely.”

“I’m glad,” he replied and kissed his cheek. Loki turned his face and they properly kissed. “Yum,” he said licking his lips. “Spearminty and cool.”

“Thank you,” he replied with a smile and kissed him again. “I’ll leave you to ready,” he whispered and left Barton’s arms.

Clint hurried with his nightly rituals and turned the light off on his way out. He stopped and stared at the god, surprised to the point he couldn’t find words at first.

“Yes?” Loki asked as he lay on his side, reading of course, while very nude. His raised brow and turn of his mouth suggested he knew the archer’s reaction without having to give in and abandon his book.

He was…deliciously nude… “Hi…” Barton said stupidly.

Loki looked up with a smirk that made Clint wild. He rolled onto his back, one elbow supporting his upper half in a reclined position as he patted the spot next to him. “Won’t you join me?” he innocently asked.

Clint fumbled with his clothes as he whipped them off and hurried to the bed. He climbed up and over the god, Loki laughing and rested his hands on Clint’s shoulder as he accepted his weight and eager mouth at his throat and mouth. He turned his face to the side and wrapped a leg around Clint’s waist with a sigh. The archer hummed and ran his hand up his thigh as the other came down his back. Both hands found their way to Loki’s rear and he massaged the round flesh with great joy.

Loki chuckled and buried his face in Clint’s shoulder, his arms wrapping around his shoulders. “Clint,” he whispered and tilted his chin up as his throat was showered with kisses.

“Mhm?”

“We must sleep,” he said with a soft moan.

“We will,” he promised and sucked at his collarbone.

“We have to rise early,”

“I’m rising already,”

Loki barked a laugh and then slapped his shoulder in reprimand. “I meant to do our duty.”

“I love doing the _duty_ ,” he growled pulling Loki’s legs up higher as he leaned back. He traced his fingers up Loki’s bent and slightly shaking calves, letting them run the curve of his knee and down his thighs, drawing a shiver from the mage.

“I don’t mean that one,” he said with an apologetic face. “Natasha asked if we would rise early enough to create treat bags for the children.”

“But we have like another day,” he whined kissing him.

“Actually…” he began.

“We’re supposed to be like a secret and shit and they’re making us media icons,” Clint sighed heavily as he dropped his forehead onto Loki’s shoulder. The god patted his back sympathetically. He sighed and looked down at him. “I suppose I should have foreseen sex not happening tonight.”

“It’s been a long day for both of us,” he reasoned with a nod.

“Did I do something wrong? Push too far?” he asked worriedly.

“No,” Loki chuckled with a sincere smile and ran his fingers through Clint’s hair lovingly. “I only do not wish for us to begin something and fall asleep partway through. Besides,” he said pulling Clint’s face closer to his and dropping his voice into a seductively low register. “We are only scheduled for the morning and afternoon shifts. We have all evening to indulge. Let us simmer for now and rage in boiling passions later.”

Clint shivered and nodded stupidly, his brain frying out from the appeal the god had on him. Loki kissed him with a winning smile, and then let Clint go so that he could lie next to him. He pulled Loki into his arms, bringing his back flush against his chest. Loki chuckled and curled up, setting his hands over Clint’s arms before using his magic to pull the covers over them. “Will you read to me?” Clint asked, nuzzling his face into the back of Loki’s neck as he brought his legs up behind Loki’s.

“Yes,” he replied and opened the book. “Although I am not at the beginning,” he warned.

“Eh,” Clint shrugged showing how much he didn’t care. He just wanted to hear the god’s voice.

Loki cleared his throat and began from where he had left off. “‘Cosette, in her seclusion, like Marius in his, was all ready to take fire. Destiny, with its mysterious and fatal patience, was slowly bringing these two beings near each other, fully charged and all languishing with the stormy electricities of passion,—these two souls which held love as two clouds hold lightning, and which were to meet and mingle in a glance like clouds in a flash. The power of a glance has been so much abused in love stories, that it has come to be disbelieved in. Few people dare now to say that two beings have fallen in love because they have looked at each other. Yet it is in this way that love begins, and in this way only. The rest is only the rest, and comes afterwards. Nothing is more real than these great shocks which two souls give each other in exchanging this spark…’”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All of the places mentioned in this chapter are real, I’ve been to them, but I can’t for the life of me remember where they are and what the names of the places are. I was very young when I went to them and far too excited about candy and games to remember those details. I asked my mom and she doesn't remember either so I apologise. If one of us does remember or I come across an old picture with the name or something I'll update it.
> 
> P.S. My mother is the type of person who paid for the second to the last hayride to take her 6 and 3 year-olds on which, I’m pretty sure, is why I’m so mentally fucked up. Still love her. Can't deal with spiders or zombies very well...
> 
> Passage Loki reads is from _Les Miserables_ by Victor Hugo.


	44. Chapter 44

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, there is something odd with the Rich Text part. I had to go in and reformat everything in the actual window so it took longer than expected. I hope everyone is having a great November. To those that celebrate, Happy early Thanksgiving. I'm thankful for all of you.
> 
> All mistakes are my own. Anything that looks super odd or doesn't read right just let me know and I'll fix it. Enjoy!

\----------------------44----------------------

Loki rolled over and threw an arm around Clint’s middle. The archer didn’t move. Not that Loki had expected him too. If the snores and the way he had an arm thrown over his eyes with his head tilted awkwardly back weren’t an indication to his state, Loki had already been fairly certain Clinton was out cold and nothing could wake him, even Ragnarök.

He pressed a kiss to Clint’s side. The archer didn’t move. He climbed on top of him and ran his hands down his chest. Nothing. He covered his face in kisses. Still nothing.

“Clint,” he whispered gently shaking him. “Clinton?”

Nothing. Loki chuckled and lay back next to him. He traced a finger along Clint’s abdomen, feeling the hard rise and fall of his muscles and then set his face forward and blew a raspberry upon his stomach.

“WHAT!?” Clint jerked awake quickly. Loki groaned unhappily and rolled over, pretending he’d just been forcefully woken by the archer’s spontaneous reaction. In truth, it had scared the life out of him and he was trying very hard not to laugh. Clint looked around the room and then at Loki, who was now turned away from him with his face pressed into his pillow. He rubbed his face and winced as he rotated his neck before turning to his side and snuggled up to Loki’s back. “Sorry,” he puffed sleepily and buried his face into Loki’s shoulder as he settled back to bed.

Loki groaned and stretched, forcing Barton to shift and accommodate his movements as much as possible, and then rolled over to face him. “Morning,” he smiled.

Clint grunted already halfway back to sleep.

Loki wrapped his arms around him and pressed gentle kisses to his face. “It is time to rise.”

“I’m already passed that…” he mumbled slowly. “Get on my level…” he breathed.

He chuckled and ran his fingertips along Clint’s cheeks. “Natasha is waiting for us.”

“Time…what…?” he whispered furrowing his brows and turning his face toward the bed trying to, unsuccessfully, shake off Loki’s attentions.

“Five forty,” he replied glancing at the clock. Clint grumbled very unhappily. Loki kissed his nose. “Clinton…” he called sweetly. “Clinton.”

“Go away…” he groaned and rolled away from him.

Loki followed; lying on Barton’s side and poked at the archer’s nose. “Clinton…” he said a little louder.

“Get off!” he growled and pushed the god’s hand away.

Loki put more weight onto him and bounced a bit. “Clinton…”

The archer tried pushing him off. Loki only leaned forward and blew a raspberry onto his stomach again. The archer jerked with a shout and then glared at the god, now fully awake, but not in a way that he was pleased with.

“You shit!” he hissed and went to grab at him. Loki laughed and rolled out of his reach, forcing the archer to get up and follow if he desired to catch him. “Come here! I’m going to get you back!”

Loki laughed harder and hid under the comforter, pulling it protectively down around him. Clint pounced at him and pulled on it. The god’s grip wouldn’t give so Barton opted to tickle him. Loki shrieked and flailed around, giving the archer the advantage to pull the comforter off.

Loki’s last line of defence was throwing pillows at him, so he managed two before his hands were pinned down on either side of his head. He struggled still laughing, both knowing he could have easily gotten out of that position, yet chose to remain in it. Clint leaned over him, putting his weight on Loki’s trapped wrists.

“Later tonight, you’re going to get it,” he promised.

Loki shivered as his laughter subsided a little. “Is that a promise?”

“You bet your sweet round sexy ass it is,” he said and kissed him. It was full of promise and desire of what was yet to come; it tasted sinfully delicious. Loki moaned and shifted under him, his fingers reaching out wishing to touch. No. He couldn’t. Not yet. Not until tomorrow tonight. The archer hadn’t a clue what to expect, and the idea of his surprise made him smile and puff up in victory. Clint wouldn’t stand a chance against his plan.

“What are you plotting?” Clint dubiously inquired narrowing his eyes down at him.

“Nothing,” he innocently lied with a coy grin and batted his eyes a few times.

Clint hummed, still highly suspicious, and got up to stretch next to the bed. Loki rolled over onto his stomach and was about to push himself up onto his knees when Clint’s hand came down and got him good on one of his cheeks. Its resounding crack not only shocked the god into wide-eyed stillness, but the sensation was a slow fiery ache that spread through to his loins and up his spine. He shivered with a faint moan as his fingers dug into the sheets a little.

Clint chuckled and went to the bathroom. The god watched him with narrowed eyes and then moved to follow. He’d get him back soon enough.

After they had both washed their faces and brushed their teeth, Clint went to get dressed while Loki took a washcloth and wiped his body down with lukewarm water. He went and found clothes after brushing his hair and handed the beauty tool to the archer, who went back into the bathroom to do something about his hair.

Loki chose black jeans and a black tight long sleeve shirt with a loose dark grey cardigan. He pulled on socks and his boots before pulling back his hair into a half down half up pony-tail. He returned to the main part of their bedroom to find Clint lying face down on the bed.

“Clinton!” he sighed exasperated. The archer groaned angrily. “No,” he scolded and pulled at his feet. “Up!”

“No!” he whined into the bed.

“Yes or we are not engaging in intercourse until next year!”

“I’m up!” he shouted and hurried for the door. Loki chuckled and rolled his eyes as he closed it behind him as he left. They headed down toward the kitchen.

“Morning!” Natasha called cheerily from the table. “Happy, one day early, Halloween!”

“Good morning,” Loki said and nodded his head, “Happy early Halloween.”

“Eh,” Clint said and bee-lined for the coffee. He grabbed the biggest mug he could find and filled it halfway. He poured a ridiculous amount of sugar into it and then some milk before stirring and chugged it back.

“Good morning Clint,” Natasha said, a touch of hardness to her tone, as she watched his silly display.

He gasped as he set the mug down. “Morning,” he replied and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. “Happy early Hallow’s Eve. What are you doing up at this ungodly hour?”

“Patrol this morning with Banner,” she replied.

“That’s gross…”

“I’m glad you think so, you’re on mornings next month,” she smiled sweetly at him.

“I’m calling in sick in advance,” he said.

“That’s a cute sweater,” she smiled getting up to come over and get more tea.

“What?” he asked and then looked down at his front. He ran his hands along the soft cosy purplish-maroon half-zipper sweater. “Oh thanks. This was one that Loki picked out.”

“Good taste,” she said giving the god’s side a small nudge before she filled her cup.

“Thank you,” Loki replied with a humble half bow and a hand to his heart.

“Where’s breakfast?” the archer growled.

“Clint,” Loki chided for his tone and way of asking for something.

“It’s get our own, like the big adult you are, day,” she said grabbing his chin and shook it a bit in a cutesy voice to mock him.

He pushed her hand away and stepped back upset. She laughed and went back to her oatmeal and toast.

“Would you care for me to make you something?” Loki asked trying to get the archer into a better mood.

“No,” he sighed and went to the pantry. He rummaged through it and found some cereal that he knew he could stomach for now. He grabbed a bowl, spoon, and the milk jug before going to the other side of the table to sit away from Natasha.

Loki went to the fridge and found some apples chilling. He pulled two of each kind out, the butter, syrup, and some sausage links. He began quickly slicing and coring the apples, then cut the links in two lengthwise, and put them on the stove in two separate pans. He added butter to the apples and went to find bread.

The pans heated and the air filled with the smell of cooking food. Clint perked up and sniffed it like a curious dog on a hunt. Natasha chuckled and shook her head. “I wish I had a wife like yours,” she said to the archer.

He glared at her. “You do, his name is Steven,” he shot back.

“Oh yeah…” she said with a dreamy look and a small sigh of wonder.

“I can make more if you both wish?” Loki offered as he turned the sausages and then stirred the apples.

“I’m fine, but I will sneak a bite,” Natasha warned playfully.

“You are more than welcome,” he smiled and looked over his shoulder. “Dearest?”

The archer looked down at his sad looking soggy bowl of miniwheats. He hated them unfrosted, but was willing to suffer through a bowl just because. He looked at the god apologetically and Loki laughed.

“It’s no trouble,” he insisted with a smile and went to get two plates. He put the toast in the toaster and went to find a thickener for the apples. He pulled the brown sugar and some corn starch down along with a measuring cup. He filled it with cold water, poured a few tablespoons of corn starch into the water, and stirred it. “We’re low on cornflour,” he said.

“I’ll put it on the shopping list,” Natasha said licking her fingers and wrote it on the side of the notebook she had next to her.

“Put crunchberries on there,” Clint said.

“No,” she replied in a very maternal tone.

“Tasha,” he whined.

“No Clint, now finish your Wheaties or clean it up,”

Clint narrowed his eyes and her and muttered darkly as he got up and went to empty and rinse his bowl.

“I can hear you,” she said and wrote a few more things to her list.

“Good,” he puffed and made himself another monster size cup of coffee, this time only taking one sip to ensure it was right.

“Bruce will be up again soon, I’d put another pot on,” she advised.

Clint sighed and started making a new one. “Yes mother,” he breathed.

Natasha looked up at him with a ‘ _really_?’ expression that he didn’t see. She knew he could feel her staring at him and that was enough.

Loki grinned and turned the sausages again before adding the brown sugar and corn starch water to the apples. “Would you hand me the cinnamon?” he asked.

Clint nodded and found the container in the cabinet and gave it to him. “So what are you making?” he asked leaning on the counter next to the god.

“Something you’ll enjoy,” he promised. “It is a hearty traditional breakfast from Vanaheim. It is the twin’s favourite.”

“Yeah?” he smiled and turned to glance at the toaster when he heard it pop.

“Yes,” Loki said moving past him to remove and butter the pieces before putting two more in to toast.

“Morning,” Bruce said entering the kitchen in a striped red and white shirt with a matching cap and dark blue jeans. He had his glasses on and a backpack.

They greeted him in their chosen fashion: Loki and Natasha cheerily, Clint with a grunt of displeasure at being reminded of how early he was up. “Ah look at you!” Natasha added getting up to look his costume over. “And very appropriate,” she said admiring him.

“Thanks,” he smiled shyly. “Jennifer suggested it. She’s going as Carmon Sandiego to her business meeting.”

“Very nice,”

“What is he?” Loki whispered to Clint.

“Waldo,”

“Is he well-known among your people?”

“Yeah, for most,”

“Is he a hero of some sort?”

Clint laughed. “No a pain in the ass,” he said and pulled out his phone. “Um, he’s from this book series ‘Where’s Waldo?’. They are huge, most of the time, and filled with pictures that have a lot going on in them. They are full of people and things and the point is to look through it all and try and find him. It’s really hard and takes a while, but it’s fun.”

“Oh,” Loki said thoughtfully. The toaster went off and he went to butter that toast. He took the sausage off and set it over the slices of the first and then added the mixed sweetened apples and the sauce he had made with them. He poured a tiny bit of maple syrup over them and then handed the finished plate to Clint. “For you,” he replied with a bright smile.

“Thank you,” he said and gave him a kiss of gratitude before grabbing silverware and set his stuff down at his chosen table spot. He went back to grab a mug and opened the cabinet that held the tea. “What flavour?”

“Surprise me,” Loki said as he started making his own plate. “Lord Banner, would you enjoy some?” he asked gesturing to the pans where enough for one more plate was.

“No thank you, I need to have some coffee first,” he replied and poured himself a cup. “It smells delicious. I don’t know if the big guy will be up for it though. He’s not really a fan of apples.”

“Don’t you love apples?” Clint asked as he poured hot water into the mug for Loki.

“Yes,” he sighed sadly and went to sit down next to Natasha.

Loki turned the stove off and set the pans to the back of it before taking his plate to the table where Clint had set a napkin and another set of silverware down for him to use. He sat down and put his napkin in his lap just as Clint set his tea before him. “Thank you,” he said touching Barton’s arm as he sat next to him.

“No problem,” he said and took a large gulp of his sweetened coffee.

“So what are you wearing for Halloween?” Bruce asked Clint and Loki.

“Oh god,” Natasha sighed as she saw Clint’s stupid grin as he inhaled excitedly.

“A Jedi!” he exclaimed.

“He is _always_ a Jedi,” Natasha clarified for the other two.

“No, not always,” he pointed out.

“Okay, all of the Halloween’s I’ve seen you, except for one,”

“What was he then?” Loki asked.

Natasha laughed. “Bobbi made him dress as a saltshaker so she could be the peppershaker.”

Clint’s face fell. “It’s not that funny.”

“It is, you looked so miserable,”

“I was! It was hot as balls in that shitty costume!”

“Oh and then she kept dropping hints about your ‘Baby Paprika’. I was dying. May and I were placing bets all night with the others.”

Loki frowned at Clint. “I don’t understand.”

“There is a children’s show, called _Blue’s Clues_ , about a little dog named Blue,” Banner began explaining. “All of the objects in the house talk and move. There is a salt and peppershaker couple, named Mr. Salt and Mrs. Pepper, who have a child later on in the series. She is a tiny paprika shaker by the name of Baby Paprika.”

“Oh,” Loki said, still not fully grasping what he had been described, but understanding most of the reference better. “This was when you thought she was pregnant?”

“Yes,” Clint said and glared at Natasha. “I wasn’t talking about that time. I was talking about the year after I met you. I dressed as Aragorn.”

“Oh yeah,” she said. “And Coulson showed up as Gandalf and you both pretended to be the characters.”

“I wish I could have seen that,” Banner chuckled.

“Yeah, it was cool,” Barton said and began digging into his food.

“So you’re a Jedi, what are you being?” Bruce asked Loki. Clint froze and realised he’d never taken him out to buy a costume. He was the worst fiancé ever! He was about to face palm and apologise when Loki spoke up.

“Natasha and I went out and found a very nice pirate costume,” Loki replied.

“Cool,” Bruce said.

Clint gave Natasha a grateful look. She returned it with a no-strings-attached ‘you’re welcome’ smile. “This is delicious,” Clint said as he stuffed his face with the sweet-spicy food. He couldn’t get enough of it. He saw Natasha reach her spoon over and he swatted it back with his knife. “No!” he said around a mouthful.

“Fine, I’ll get a sample from my _best_ friend,” she said and took some from Loki, who presented his plate to share with her.

“I’m your best friend,” Clint replied grumpily.

“Best friends let their best friend eat from their plate,” she replied and scooped a little bit of each part of the dish into her mouth. She hummed and nodded enthusiastically. “That _is_ really good.”

“Thank you,” replied the god with a proud smile.

“I’m still your best friend,” Clint muttered jealously upset and continued to eat his food.

Natasha smiled and gathered her empty dishes to take to the sink. “Alright, so you both have a choice: either carve your pumpkins now or start on goodie bags.”

“Pumpkins,” Clint said through a mouthful of food.

“Loki?” she asked to clarify.

“I’m fine with either. Whichever needs to be finished first.”

“Well you both are the only ones without a pumpkin, Banner finished his last night, and Fury and Phil did theirs this morning,”

“What do you mean they ‘did theirs this morning’? It still _is_ morning,” Clint said and swallowed his food.

“They get up at four –”

“Okay stop,” the archer said holding up a hand. “You’re going to make me sick. That’s not a time to get up. That’s torture.”

“Good Morning friends,” Thor said entering the kitchen with pale skins wrapped around his waist, thick dark furs around his boots, and one long dark brown fur slung across his chest and shoulder, tucked into a belt.

“What are you wearing?” Loki declared upon seeing him.

“I am a fierce caveman,” he replied and lifted a plastic club with a mighty proclamation of: “Warriors of old!”

“You look ridiculous,” Loki said.

“And what are you? A Midgardian?” he shot back.

“Okay, none of that,” Natasha said giving Thor a mug of coffee. “Did you want to carve a pumpkin?”

“Does it involve danger?” he asked taking a drink of the bitterly warm beverage.

“You have to use a knife,”

“Then yes, I shall, but first, sustenance,” he said and looked around sniffing. “What smells of grandfather’s house?”

“On the range,” Loki replied.

Thor looked, “Ah! Sausage apple sandwiches!” he said excitedly. “Are these spoken for?” he asked the room. The other three shrugged and Loki shook his head ‘no’. “May I consume them then?”

“By all means, oh fierce warrior of old,” Loki said with a sliver of sarcasm. Thor glared at him for a moment before making himself a plate.

“Morning,” Steve said coming into the kitchen while buttoning his cuffs. He was dressed in black and white pinstriped pants with white suspenders, a black button down shirt and a red necktie. He had white spat shoes and held a matching pinstriped double breasted jacket with wide lapels and four buttons on the front.

“Oh look at my man,” Natasha smiled and went over to smooth out his tie. “You look so handsome,” she said excitedly.

“I remember seeing these guys around, I never thought I’d wear one of these suits for fun,” he said with a smile down at her.

“Who is he?” Loki asked Clint.

“A mobster,” he replied. “They are these rough and tough guys that do underground crime stuff. They can be really bad but really good depending on what their business is. Most do drugs, prostitution, weapons and stuff, but some have been known to market certain types of medicines and alcohol which, at the time, the government had outlawed and the public still wanted or needed. It’s a very interesting history, there is a gang for almost every ethnicity and they all either get along or fight each other. They can get pretty nasty, but a good mob doesn’t leave any loose ends.”

“Hm,” Loki nodded. “Well they are very well dress people.”

“They have a lot of money,”

“I think I prefer the type which help people, even if it is illegal,”

“Most of us do,” Clint replied. “S.H.I.E.L.D. has a beef with all of them. I know I’ve ignored and screwed up orders to take some of them in. Especially Vinnie, he’s nice and his granddaughter is super cute. He lost his daughter and son-in-law to a government raid. They were in the wrong place at the wrong time and were mistaken for being important figures in his ring, but they weren’t.”

“That’s terribly sad,” Loki said, his heart aching at the thought. “Are those responsible being pushed?”

“No,” Clint shook his head. “That’s not how things work here. The government is considered justified because the two were related to a criminal. It’s payback and it’s fair.”

“It’s not,” Loki said and looked down at his food.

“Yeah…well…we both know your feelings about that,” he said quietly, hoping to bring them out of such a low conversation and mood.

Loki smiled a little and let the light heartedness of Clint’s joke help ease the knowledge of such a horrible thing happening. He shouldn’t be surprised, such things happened in Asgard among Odin’s men. He clinched his hands and took a drink of his tea. It was raspberry mint and it helped settle his stomach and sooth his nerves.

Thor sat down across from him and began eating. “This is very good,” he said.

“Thank you,” Loki replied and bowed his head graciously to him.

“Mother taught you well,”

“She is a very patient teacher,” he said neutrally.

“I miss her,” Thor admitted and looked at his brother with a hesitant yet hopeful expression.

Loki didn’t know what his brother expected him to say to that. His only response was, “I do as well,” and he looked down at his meal again.

Thor’s face fell a bit and his nerve to continue speaking was lost. They finished eating as Banner and Steve made their breakfasts and Natasha went upstairs to change into her costume. Once they had cleared their side of the table, Clint got newspaper out and spread it over the surface where they were going to work.

Thor and Loki brought the remaining two large pumpkins over and set them up where Clint pointed to. He got a large bowl to catch the guts in and some knives.

“Now you have to make sure the insides are all nice and clean or it’ll rot faster. Normally people cut up pumpkins way before Halloween, but,” he shrugged. “It’s been a weird year.”

“So I stab the flesh and create a picture?” Thor asked confused.

“Yeah,” Clint said and then picked up a tablet screen. “Hey Jarvis?”

“Yes, sir?”

“Would you mind finding some pictures of carved pumpkins?”

“Not at all. One moment please,” he said as he searched and loaded them onto the screen. “Are these suitable?”

“Yeah, thanks,” Clint said and showed the two gods. “See, some of them are really simple with regular shapes, like the triangle nose and toothy mouth, but some are crazy, like this one shaped after the Death Star.”

“What is that?” Thor asked.

“Uh, it’s a spaceship from a popular movie. The Empire builds it to help control and subdue the planets that are giving them problems. It’s supposed to strike fear into the citizens.”

“Oh,” Loki and Thor nodded.

“Look at that!” Thor shouted pointing to the picture of an elaborately carved pumpkin that looked as though a human face were coming out of the side of it.

“Yeah, those are competition ones. You don’t have to make it that fancy, just keep it simple and fun,” he said and gave the thunder god the screen. “Let’s gut them out.”

“Gut?” Thor asked.

Loki chuckled. “Thor has never cleaned out a gourd or squash of any sort before. If I image these are similar to the ones at home, he is in for a surprise.”

“Why? What is inside of them?” he asked worriedly.

Clint laughed and handed him a knife. “Why don’t you find out?”

So Thor watched and copied the way Clint cut out the top around the stem and then pulled it opened.

“Oh Ymir’s balls!” Thor swore and made a disgusted face. “What is _this_!?”

“Pulp,” Loki laughed and took off his cardigan to roll up his sleeves and reached his hand inside with a metal scraper and started cleaning out the insides.

“It smells,”

“Most things that need to be gutted smell,” the younger god reminded.

“Just do it,” Clint smiled and handed Thor a metal scraper.

The god reached inside and his face became even more repulsed as he felt the sticky mushy insides. He scrapped a decent first amount out and set it into the bowl.

Clint laughed harder and patted his shoulder. “It’s worth it man, trust me, this is wholesome Midgardian family fun.”

“This is horrid and you all are sick for making a holiday dedicated to this,”

Everyone laughed at him, yet the god didn’t give up, regardless of how much he complained about it feeling gross. Loki cleaned out his pumpkin quickly and went to wash his hands as Clint sifted through the guts to find the seeds, which he put them in a separate bowl filled with water to soak.

“How do you wish to cut it?” Loki asked when he returned to the table.

Clint shrugged. “What do you want to do?”

“I am not certain,” he replied and looked the thing over. “The legend Tasha told me explains they are to keep the dark spirits from the house. Should we make it scary?”

“You can,” he said. “I’m not picky.”

Loki sighed and held out a hand. “May I see the screen?”

“Yeah,” Clint wiped one of his hands and gave it over.

Loki looked through the pictures and finally found one. It was simple, two triangle eyes and a small triangle nose, yet the grin was wicked with sharp pointed teeth. The angle of the eyes also suggested a rough personality and he showed it to Clint. “Good enough to keep this dwelling safe?”

“I think it is a very good choice,” he said with a smile.

Loki set the screen down next to the pumpkin and took up one of the black pens Clint had brought over. He began drawing the details of where he wished to cut and added a few hard odd angles to the piece to make it even more bizarre. He showed it to Clint.

“Extra cool,” he smiled.

“Ugh,” Thor said holding up his pumpkin covered hands. “I believe I am done,” he announced, his voice holding a sliver of uncertainty yet a monumental amount of hope.

Clint checked the inside of his pumpkin and nodded. “Good job,” he declared.

“Thank you,” he sighed happily and went to wash his hands off, waiting until Steve had set the rest of the dishes down into the sink before scrubbing them thoroughly to remove all of the orange mess. Loki handed him the tablet upon his return and Thor picked out what he wished to carve. He chose a traditional design and drew the triangle eyes, nose, and friendly three toothed grin with a sharpie so that he could follow it with the knife.

They began carving as Natasha entered in her 1920’s black and gold ritzy dress. It hung to her calves and the translucent top layer was stitched with lace and beads to help add flair. She had her hair curled up with a beautiful jewelled and feathered clip pinning one side back. She was putting pearl drop earnings in as she entered and the strings around her neck rattled together as she moved.

“How’s it going?” she asked coming over to see.

“It is disgusting,” Thor said and began cutting his pumpkin.

“He doesn’t like the de-gutting part,” Clint explained and found a few more seeds and put them in a new bowl.

“Not many do,” she said and looked at what he was making. “Nice, I like it.”

“Many thanks,” he said as he carefully followed the lines with clumsy slow motions.

“Here, try sawing it rather than stabbing,” she said and held his hand to help direct him. “See? A little easier and now you have more control.”

“I see, thank you,” he nodded with a smile.

“And what do we have here?” she asked going to examine Loki’s. “Oh my! Very spooky.”

“It will not scare the children, will it?” Loki asked.

“No,” she promised. “It’s perfectly fine.”

He nodded and popped out a finished eye. “You look very nice,” he said.

“Thank you. I’m glad you talked me into this dress. I like it better with the shoes and the necklaces.”

“I’m glad it was a good fit,” he smiled and popped out a second eye.

“I’m going to start setting up the candy bags, just in case someone comes early,” Steve said and kissed Natasha’s cheek as he came around. “Looks good guys!” he added with a thumbs-up as he left.

“Thank you,” both gods said.

“You’ll both be done with those soon; I’m going to get the goodies for you to make,” she said.

“I’ll help,” Bruce added as he stood and followed her into the other room.

As Loki and Thor finished and cleaned up their mess, Natasha and Bruce brought in bags full of candy and plastic small toys. The two gods took the finished pumpkins outside and set them on the front steps.

“They look great!” Clint said admiring them. “You both did wonderful.”

“It was not as hard as I anticipated, yet it wasn’t as clean as I had hoped,” Thor replied.

“Still nice,”

“Whose is that?” Loki asked pointing to one that had a star in the centre with half rings around it in the same fashion as Captain America’s shield.

“Phil,” Clint sighed and rolled his eyes with a laugh. “The other side is cut into a traditional face, so I’m assuming him and Fury shared one.”

“You can cut multiple faces?” Thor asked amazed.

“Yeah, why wouldn’t you be able too?” Clint asked him.

“Is such a thing a norm?”

“Not really. It hinders the way the light reflects on the inside.”

“So light being seen is the most important part?”

“Kind of,” he shrugged. “I mean that’s why people put them on display.”

“Interesting,” the two said.

“Hey,” Steve said coming over to them. “We’ve got people at the gates already. Would you mind getting Nat so we can decide to open early or not?”

“Sure,” Clint said and motioned to the other two. “Let’s go make bags and stuff.” They returned to the kitchen. “Steve wants you,” he said pointing over his shoulder with this thumb. “Something about a ton of kids already outside.”

“Damn,” she said and got up. “I hope we have enough.”

“If not we’ll get more,” Bruce shrugged and then gestured to the table. “We’re doing assembly line style. Pick a seat.”

“What do we got?” Clint asked rubbing his hands together.

“Chocolate, spider ring, bubble eyeball, gummy thing, and Phil will be down to put little Avengers whistles and tie them up.”

“What about Fury?” Clint asked taking a seat in front of the chocolate.

“He doesn’t have to make more. He, Natasha, and Steve made almost five hundred thousand by themselves yesterday.

“Five hundred thousand!” Clint gasped.

Bruce nodded. “We’re expecting a lot today and tomorrow.”

“Are we now?” he sarcastically said.

“These are fun,” Thor said blowing a little at the tiny wand to shower the table with tiny bubbles. “I wish to distribute these!” he proclaimed.

“Then I’ll do rings?” Loki offered.

Bruce nodded and set the bag down he’d just tied before moving a seat over to the gummy packets. They started up the line, Clint opening a bag to put a chocolate in, Loki dropping a ring in, Thor with a bubble eye, and lastly Bruce with a gummy and set it off to the side. They got into an easy flow and their production picked up some.

Phil entered with a cheery wave. “Morning,” he said and went over to start finishing up the bags. He was dressed in a classic Vampire costume with pop-out plastic fangs.

“Morning,” the others replied.

“I saw we have quite a line already outside,”

“Yep,” Clint nodded and snuck a mini Midnight Milky Way into his mouth. He hid the wrapper and slipped one into Loki’s lap. The god discreetly put it into his cardigan pocket. Thor blew more bubbles as he waited for a new bag to come his way.

“Sorry about being late. Fury and I received a call,”

“A call?” Banner frowned. “From who?”

“That’s classified,” Phil and Clint said at the same time.

“Oh,” the scientist said losing interest by forced-will.

Clint ran out of chocolates. “I’m out,” he said popping a tiny Snickers into his mouth as he leaned back in his chair.

“I wonder why,” Bruce said with a sigh as he got up and went to get more party bags for all of them.

“I don’t know,” he shrugged and dropped a Twix into Loki’s lap. The god hurried to put it into his pocket and went about putting rings into the last few bags for Thor. The thunder god dropped the eyeball bubbles into them and set it next to Bruce’s seat for when he returned.

“I’m hungry,” Clint said.

“You just finished eating an hour ago,” Bruce pointed out and set a bag in front of him.

“Fine, I’m tired then,”

“You had about seven hours of sleep. You’re a former S.H.I.E.L.D. agent; you’ve been trained to run on less,” Phil reminded.

“Alright, fine, I’m fucking bored of this shit. Why can’t we just fill buckets with this stuff and have the kids pick out one from each? Or better yet, just have a giant cauldron of candy and give one bar out to each child?”

“Because when we were trying to figure out how to deal with the inevitable mass of people swarming around the front gates and instead of coming to the meetings you were pouting, sleeping in, and being anti-social until either you had to go out to patrol, join in group practice, or come down for dinner.”

Clint tightened his mouth into a hard line. Loki gently sent out a reassuring touch through the bond and they went back to work. Loki broke into a new spider ring bag and they managed to make enough to fill the table top around their work space and one of the extra buckets.

Steve came in with two empty ones. “Hey,” he said with a smile. He had his jacket on and looked in every way the perfect mob boss.

“Are we going through them that fast?” Bruce panicked.

“What? Oh no,” he said and shook his head. “Natasha’s set up a system. It freed up these two for you all, but I can see I’m going to be taking them out again,” he chuckled and began filling them up with the stuff from the table.

“How’s it going out there?” Phil asked.

“Great. The kids are disappointed Iron Man is not there, but they’re excited nonetheless. Especially for candy.”

“Everyone’s excited for candy,” Clint muttered.

“It is a delicious treat,” Thor agreed.

“I’m going to take one of these to the front,” Steve said. “I’ll be back for the others.”

“Take your time,” Clint said with a wave and put another Snicker’s into his mouth.

“Clint, please stop eating the candy,” Bruce sighed. “I promise you can have part of whatever is left over in the end, even if we have to go out and buy more.”

“Fine,” he sighed and dropped four more pieces into Loki’s lap. The god put them into his pocket when no one was looking. He felt a little bad about helping the archer get away with sneaking candy, however the thrill of not being caught and the unity such a stealthy act brought between them made his heart flutter with nervous excitement. He was, after all, intending to marry him. Marriage vows expressed that no matter what one person befell – in joy, sickness, or justice – the other person must suffer such a fate as well.

Loki paused for a moment as he reflected upon what he had just thought. It made him uneasy to realise that regardless if he had succeeded in leaving Clint on Midgard, or if the archer was stubborn enough and stayed with him, he would still be punished for Loki’s crimes. Odin would see their souls-bound and he would have no choice but to enforce the Rules of Union.

“Loki?” Thor whispered when he noticed the god not moving and candy bags piling up next to him from Clint. “Brother?” he asked setting a hand on Loki’s shoulder.

The young god jumped and grabbed his wrist, his motion and the way his grip was suggested he was far more scared than surprised. He took a calming breath as he realised where he was and let go of Thor before hurrying to fill the little plastic bags without a word.

“Does anyone mind if we put the TV on?” Phil asked looking around at them for confirmation.

“I don’t,” Bruce answered.

“Nor I,” Thor replied.

Loki shook his head with a tiny shrug.

“Only if it’s a Halloween thing,” Clint stipulated.

“I’m fine with that,” Phil said and went to get the remote to bring down the screen from the ceiling so that they could watch something. He found a station playing all of the classics and they proceeded to watch them. It was an added bonus that they found a station that didn’t play commercials so they were all interruption free. The first was _Coraline_ , which they all enjoyed, even if it was a bit too dark for Thor’s liking, and after that was _Hocus Pocus_.

“This was the story that man told at the bonfire,” Loki said suddenly when the movie was almost finished and it clicked why it was so familiar to him.

“Yeah,” Clint said. “He just changed the names.”

“It is a true story then?”

“No, but it’s still a good one.”

“I enjoy this better than the man’s. His was nice and he had a great voice, however the witches have more personality in this.”

“I think the red one is attractive,” Thor stated.

“She does have very lovely hips,” Loki agreed.

Thor nodded enthusiastically. “Indeed! She could easily bare many children. It is a shame that the sun came up.”

“Agreed. They should have focused on what they had instead of trying to find the one thing they didn’t need yet thought they did,”

“It was a matter of pride and they suffered in the end,”

The two stopped talking and looked at each other before awkwardly looking away. They hadn’t really spoken in such an easy manner or agreed so readily with one another in a while. The familiar unfamiliarity was a bit unsettling and comforting to both.

“What’s next?” Bruce asked.

“Let me see,” Phil said and pushed a button on the remote. The information screen came up. “ _Beetlejuice_.”

“I love this one,” Bruce said.

“Me too,” Clint agreed excitedly. “This one is a Burton film, so it’s really out there. Just watch it, don’t question anything, and let it happen. Okay?”

The two gods nodded. The movie started and both realised they were not prepared for it. Thor didn’t understand half of it and spoke of how it made him uncomfortable, yet Loki really got into it.

“I want to befriend him,” he said excitedly to Clint as they watched Beetlejuice appear as a serpent and nearly kill the family.

“He is horrible,” Thor said angrily to his brother and slammed his hand down on the table.

“He is very clever,” Loki argued back superiorly.

“He just tried to kill people!” Thor shouted.

“He didn’t succeed,” Loki pointed out. “It was only a bit of fun.”

“That girl is scared,”

Loki smirked wickedly. “The purpose of a terrifying prank is to have people run in fear.”

“This is no prank or jest I care for,” said Thor shaking his head firmly.

“And that, dear brother, is why you are known as the God of Protection and I the Trickster God,” he said a little snippily.

Thor opened his mouth to argue and then promptly shut it once he realised he had nothing to contribute to the conversation that would send it spiralling into a nasty fight. They continued to watch the movie. A few minutes later Thor spoke up with a well-thought out comeback. “There is a difference between tricks and pranks that seriously harm people or strike fear into them…a god of such mischief should know the difference.”

Loki rotated his jaw annoyed and ignored him.

“Who wants lunch?” Bruce asked quickly rising from his seat. “Everyone? Good,” he said before anyone could answer. He went into the kitchen and began pulling things out of the fridge and setting them up on the counter.

“Do you need help?” Clint asked.

“No, I’ve got it, thanks,” he replied.

The next couple of minutes were very tense for everyone in the room and Thor was about to apologise for his comment when Loki spoke up.

“Now that was going too far,” Loki said quietly as the final showdown between the Maitlands and Beetlejuice happened. Thor glanced at him and then smiled happily to himself.

“Does anyone have a preference for ham over turkey and vice versa?” Bruce called.

“No tomatoes,” Clint said quickly. “Or mustard.”

“I’m going to make them however I feel, and you can add or subtract what you want.”

“Okay, but it’s hard to subtract mustard out of spongy bread,” he muttered.

“Hey,” Natasha said coming in with a bucket and a large empty water bottle. “How are things?”

“They’re going,” Phil said with a smile. “How are things on the lawn?”

“Great! The kids are really great at listening and staying in line. The parents, not so much,” she laughed and set the bucket down near the table and went to fill up the water bottle. “Some of them won’t come up and keep running to the back of the line because they want to see the Hulk,” she said in a low voice for only Bruce to hear as she filled the bottle.

He tensed for a moment and then shook his head. “I don’t know…”

“Yeah, it’ll be fun,”

“They want to see the Hulk, not me,”

“Still…” she shrugged innocently and screwed the cap on. She turned the water off and went to fill up the bucket with candy bags. “After you all eat, Steve and I need a break, so we’ll slowly switch out. Does anyone want to go right now?”

“I need to get dressed,” Clint said.

“Well then go do it,” she said motioning toward the stairs in the same manner a mother, who was at the very end of her patience, would.

“Score,” he said getting up and hurrying off to get dressed in his costume.

“Do you need to change?” Natasha asked Loki.

He shook his head. “I shall wait. It is probably best if he and I are not on the same distributing shift.”

“Good point,” she said with a nod. “Alright, Thor?”

“I shall,” he said with a happy smile.

“Okay, once one of you has finished eating, come out and Steve and I will show you how we’ve set it all up.”

“Will do,” he said with a clumsy, yet well meant, salute. She laughed and took the full bucket, as well as the water bottle outside.

“Okay, I’ve got ten made already. Thor how many sandwiches are you going to eat?” Bruce called opening another thing of bread from the pantry.

“I shall start with five, if that is not too much?”

“Nope, not a problem,” he said and continued making sandwiches.

Several minutes later…“Hiyah!” Clint shouted and rolled into the room. He made a noise with his mouth and slashed at the air with a green lightsaber. He was dressed in light brown pants, a tan tunic, dark brown belt, and long hooded robe. He made the lightsaber noise again and twirled swishing at the air until he made it back to his seat. “I see, making candy bags, you are. Herh herh herh,” he said in a decently good Yoda voice.

“Okay, come and get ‘em!” Banner called and set a giant plate full of sandwiches on the island.

They got into line, each taking a plate and took what they wanted. Phil went into the pantry and brought out some chips and Loki grabbed a handful of the Cool Ranch Doritos and an apple. Clint grabbed the bag and two apples. They sat and ate while the next holiday movie came on. It was _The Nightmare Before Christmas_ and Loki and Thor soon found out why it was the other three’s favourite movie.

It was brilliant with the stop motion animation, which the others explained how it worked using the candy and spider pieces as a visual aid; the characters; the music; the story; and just the life that was brought from a few bits of clay, paint, and some well-sculpted expressions. When Jack fell out of the sky, Thor looked at Loki and saw his eyes were glassy. He looked back at the screen and realised that although he really enjoyed the movie, his brother was connecting to it on a level he couldn’t understand.

An outsider who wanted to be something else; trying to do what he thought was right and helpful, but was persecuted and shot down by fearful people who didn’t want to take the time to understand or accept a change.

Thor looked down at his hands in shame and set his sandwich down. He rose and Clint looked at him.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

Thor shook his head. “Nothing, I am full.”

“Full?” he asked looking at his plate. “You ate like two and three bites of a third sandwich. How are you full?”

Thor shrugged. “I guess it is the excitement of the holiday. I think I shall go outside to help, excuse me,” he said taking his plate to the sink. He threw the one he’d bitten into away and set the others back on the main plate before putting his used dish into the sink and left.

“Are they not good?” Banner asked looking down at his food.

“No, they are perfectly fine,” Loki said and took his napkin up to wipe at his mouth and nose. “Excuse me a moment, I need to use the facilities,” he apologised as he rose and left the room.

Phil paused the screen and gave the other two a curious look. “Did I miss something?”

Clint shook his head. “It has nothing to do with us, it’s something between them.”

“Why? Did he tell you?” Bruce asked quickly, the curiosity on how to better understand their bond outweighing the common courtesy of his friend’s privacy.

“No, I can sense it,” he frowned with a ‘duh’ face. “You’d have to be blind not to sense that one.”

“Oh,” the other two said softly.

“Should we wait for him?” Phil asked.

Clint shrugged and got up. “Let me see how he is and then I’ll let you know.” He left and went off to find the god. He found him in the small bathroom near the back door. He was leaning over the sink, both hands on either side of it and water was dripping from his forehead and his neck. He had his eyes closed and it was very obvious he was concentrating on breathing. “Hey,” he said softly and leaned against the doorway with his arms crossed.

Loki inhaled; his entire frame shaking as he forced the act to be as smooth as possible. He exhaled and opened his eyes slowly. “I’m fine,” he whispered. “I…I became overwhelmed.” He sniffed and straightened, smoothing his hair back and wiping his wet hands over his face soothingly. The darkness slithered back into a corner; it’s words had cut deep this time and the faint imprints of the images made his body shiver in fright. He closed his eyes again and calmed himself.

Clint took the hand towel from off the ring and handed it to him. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Loki shook his head. “I do not wish to ruin this day.”

“It’s not ruined,” he promised and watched as Loki wiped his face and neck gently. “If there is something I can do –”

“Tomorrow,” Loki promised avoiding his reflection in the mirror. “We’ll deal with it tomorrow.”

“Okay,” he said and stepped toward him. Loki turned and embraced him tightly. Clint rubbed his back as he held him close, gently kissing his cheek and shoulder every so often. They stood there for a while, yet neither of them minded. It was nice break to just be in the comforting presence of the other.

“I apologise,” Loki said after a bit.

“For?”

“I’m sure you are tired of…this,” Loki said, nervously flitting his hands behind Clint’s back, both still unwilling to let go just yet.

“Nah, you’re fine,” he said and leaned back a bit to brush Loki’s hair back behind his ear.

“I’m tired of it,” he whispered with a heavy sigh that backed his statement up.

“We’ll fix it,” he reassured and leaned in to rubbed his back again. “Remember, you said tomorrow?”

“Yes,” he said and moved a little to indicate he wished for the hug to end. Clint let him go and Loki stood before him. He rubbed at his eyes and nodded, “Tomorrow.”

“Do you want to go lay down and rest?”

Loki shook his head, “I shall continue making treat bags. It will help.” He nodded firmly and surely, “Something to keep my mind off of things.”

They returned and found Natasha stuffing her face as she leaned over the island. Her shoes were on the floor next to her and she had thrown the longer strands of her necklaces over her shoulder. She waved yet didn’t pause as she took another monster bite out of the sandwich.

“What’d we miss?” Clint asked with a cheery smile as he returned to his seat.

“Nothing really, we were just talking about the outside,” Banner explained pointing toward the front of the house absently.

“Steve’s talking to reporters right now,” Phil explained. “We’re trying to see how late we’re doing it so it doesn’t run into tomorrow or the next day.”

“Sweet,” he said and started opening more of the little plastic bags.

Loki went over and started making himself some tea. He gestured to the kettle when he caught Romanoff’s eye. She nodded gratefully and he pulled out a new mug and tea bags for them.

She came up to lean on the counter near him. “You okay?” she asked in as low of a voice as she could manage with the amount of turkey and bread in her mouth.

He nodded and stared at the smooth counter surface before him. “I will be.”

“So, I was thinking,” she began and swallowed her mouthful before sucking the juice and mayo off of the fingers of her one hand. “That if tomorrow night goes well, and I’m a hundred and fifteen percent positive it will so you’re welcome in advance, we could go out to find more?”

Loki looked at her, one eyebrow just lifted slightly to show he was curious.

“There is this cute store in West Village. I’ve never been in it, but I hear it’s super sexy and well worth the money.”

“Hm,” he smirked and looked back at the counter. “We shall have to inspect it.”

She chuckled and took another bite of her sandwich. She adopted an overly innocent look on her face when she noticed Clint looking at them with a suspicious frown.

“He suspects something,” Loki whispered.

“Does he?” she whispered back.

“Yes, however what he thinks is nothing close to the truth,” he laughed a little and crossed his arms before his chest.

“Yeah, he’s pretty clueless,” she agreed before taking another large bite. “But he means well…and I guess he’s cute enough to make up for it all.”

Loki nodded and shrugged with a little dramatics, “I suppose.”

They both glanced at one another before laughing. Clint glared at them only causing them to laugh harder upon seeing his suspicion.

“Okay,” Steve said coming inside. “I’ve talked to enough news reporters and people so that everyone should know by now we’re closing the gates at ten, but the Avengers will not be personally giving out candy after eight-thirty. Assistants to them will be. Also, Iron Man, Black Widow, and the Hulk are on a mission, so two of their assistants are handing out candy in their stead. That covers both of yours identities for a while,” he said the last part to Bruce, knowing how sensitive the Gamma-expert was still about his personal life.

“Sounds great!” Natasha said with a thumbs-up.

“Also, there is a child who is adamantly waiting for the Hulk,” Steve added looking at Banner now with an apologetic face. “She’s little and dressed as him with a purple tutu around her waist and large boots and hands that make crashing noises.”

“They are far too big for her. She’s adorable,” Natasha added.

“I know you mentioned not wanting to at all, but she’s determined to stay all night. She’s not with anyone…she came alone and refuses to talk with us now. She’s sitting off to the side.”

Banner took a moment before nodding and stood. “I’ll…I’ll see what I can…” he sighed and rubbed his face as he rose. “I’ll go out there…maybe…” he shrugged and rubbed at his face as he thought of what to do.

“I want to see adorable kids,” Clint said.

“Then get off your ass and go out to help Thor,” she said gesturing toward the door.

Clint glared at her and then rose. “Well then fine, I will.”

“Go,” she said and finished her sandwich.

“I didn’t want to make candy bags anyways,” he said with a casual shrug.

“We didn’t want you to make them either,” she replied with a shrug just an uncaring as his.

“Fine,” he said leaving the kitchen.

“Fine,” she shrugged.

He popped his head back in, “fine!”

“You’re marrying that,” Natasha pointed toward the door as she looked at Loki.

The god chuckled and covered his face with a hand.

\-------------------------------------------------

Sam sighed heavily as he sat at his desk. The mountain of papers in front of him was unreal: all of the reports, the decoding, the documents to co-sign, and the files to bring before Hill… He noticed the light on his desk phone blinking. He picked the handset up and pushed the recorded messages button. It beeped signalling for him to punch in his password and he then waited. It beeped again and Clay’s voice started in his ear and he had to stop himself from rolling his eyes with a tired sigh.

_“Hey there! Great talk we had the other day. Looking forward to tonight –”_

“Tonight?” Sam said sitting up suddenly.

_“I’ll meet you outside the theatre. Already got the tickets like I promised. See you at ten!”_

It beeped signalling the message was over. Sam slammed the phone back down and pushed away from his desk. _Dammit Clay!_ He hissed inside his head. _Why did you have to pick me?_

The phone beeped. He pushed the speaker button. “Yes?”

“Sir, Director Hill would like a word in her office.”

Sam inhaled deeply and nodded. “Very well. I will be there.” He tapped the speaker button again and grabbed a few files before heading out.

He ignored everyone in the hall, not paying attention to who was moving out of his way and saluting or who called after him with news. He kept his eyes forward, face set, jaw clenched shut, shoulders squared…he felt someone bump into him but he didn’t pause to see who they were or if he had knocked them down or not. It was rather rude of him, but he had bigger problems at the moment. He’d make up for it later. Somehow.

Outside of Hill’s door he straightened his uniform and took a deep breath before knocking.

“Entre,” she called.

He did. “You sent for me?” he asked as he shut the door.

“Yes,” she sighed and got up from her chair. Her back was sore and her head was pounding. She didn’t know how much more of this she could take. No wonder Fury had lost his hair at a young age. She opened a drawer and pulled out a file before putting her long trench coat on. “Let’s go,” she said in a low voice. He nodded and followed her out. They left the main complex and went down into the basement of the secondary building.

They were heading to the weapons vault. Sam wondered why, yet he knew better than to open his mouth. Maria slid her card at the door and tapped in her code. The door opened silently and she strode toward the back, leaving him to catch up.

“I’ve gotten permission to start up the program you were originally assigned here for,” she explained as they neared a black cabinet with a large logo of S.H.I.E.L.D. on the front. “You’ll be the only one on it for now, but when we get others cleared you’ll be in charge of it.”

“Permission –”

“Yes, ask it,” she said pushing in the long code to unlock the cabinet.

“Does this mean I’m being reassigned?”

“Not technically,” she said and stepped back and the doors hissed as they opened. “This is a side project for now.” Hill pulled the large and very heavy pack off the hooks and held it out for him. “I need you to keep an eye on them. Your shift starts now. You will work on location and report through a secure –”

Clay’s message suddenly popped into his head. “With all due respect, ma’am, I have something this evening,” he interrupted her without thinking.

She stared at him for a moment, her lips pressing together firmly to try and stop an exhausted outburst from happening. “You’re not scheduled for any of the meetings,” she said simply.

“It’s uh…” he cleared his throat realising his mistake. “It’s a personal thing, ma’am.”

Maria flared her nostrils. “Cancel it,” she said tightly.

“It’s important,” he said not meeting her intense gaze and hoping she’ll understand.

“ _This_ is important,”

“I need –”

“What could be more important that keeping an eye on our current and most dangerous threat?”

“I…” he exhaled and nodded resigned, “I’ll leave when you want –”

“I asked you a question, Wilson. When I ask you a question, I expect to be answered,”

He rubbed his face and shook his head. “It’s not import–”

“It was a moment ago. What were you doing this evening that held precedence over trying to take out the Avengers?”

“A date,” he said softly.

“What?” she barked.

“A date,” he said louder. “It’s was a very important date.”

Maria wanted to scream. She wanted to roll her eyes and spew some sarcastic remark at him, yet she kept herself silent with the exception of a very long and suffering sigh. She was far too tired to deal with this right now. In fact, she was far too tired to do anything anymore. “If it isn’t with the President of the United States or Her Majesty of England then it’s not something that should take priority in your life,” Maria replied very carefully.

“I’m sorry,” he said straightening a bit. “I’m sorry Madam Director. I know better than–”

“Obviously you don’t,” she cut in and handed him the pack as well as the file. “Time starts now.” She closed the cabinet doors and left him standing there to either follow her or not. “Your assistant is waiting at the hanger for you; she’ll finish filling you in on the details. Oh and Wilson,” she said pausing at the door.

“Yes Director Hill?” he said finally catching up.

“I shouldn’t have to remind you that intimate relationships within the office, or within S.H.I.E.L.D. in general, are not advised. If you can’t keep your personal life out of work then I suggest you start looking for a new department.” She paused to look him over for a moment. “I’d hate for your priorities to become mixed up. You’re a great second and I don’t want to waste my time looking for a replacement.”

“Yes Madam Director. I understand,” he said with a respectful nod of his head as he kept his eyes down at the floor.

“Good,” she said and held out her hand. He gave her the files he had brought and she left without another word.

Sam let out a careful breath and hurried to his office. He packed a few files to work on and then called Clay. He got the answering machine. _“Hey this is Q-Tip. Leave a message.”_

It beeped.

“Hey, Clay, this is Sam. I can’t make it tonight.” He paused wondering what he should say next. Something that helped anchor Hill’s message home, especially since they were still being watched yet made their fake relationship still seem like a real thing. “I’m going to be busy for a while, so please don’t call me unless its work related. I’ll contact you when things change.” He hung up and hurried to pack a bag, in case he needed to stay for more than one night, and then headed to the hanger.

A young girl with long black hair was waiting for him. She stood straight when she saw him approach and saluted. “Master Sergeant Wilson,” she said.

“You don’t have to do that,” he said with a kind smile. “This isn’t the U.S. military, such titles and greetings aren’t necessary.”

“Sorry, sir,” she said looking down. “I don’t know how else to address you.”

“Commander Wilson, will do just fine,” he said entering the jet.

“Deputy Director Commander Wilson,” she corrected and hurried after him. He chuckled yet let her be; she’d loosen up over time. “My name is Valerie Jessup. I’ll –”

“Ah, so you’ve got a last name,” he smiled, remembering having to look over her file to approve her for training months ago.

Her cheeks turning pink and the tiny forced blink where the only indications that his words had affected her; other than that she continued, holding out her badge for him to inspect. “I am your assistant and will be protecting you and holding our base-point down while you continue to perform your duties outside of the mission.”

He looked the badge over and ‘ah’ed, pleasantly surprised. “Level five already?”

“Yes, sir,”

“Congratulations.” He handed it back. “That’s not an easy thing; especially with no prior military or special service training.”

“Thank you, sir,” she said pocketing it and went to sit in the main navigation chair as he stored his things. “We will be landing in an airport just outside of the city. From there we will take a private civilian car to a lot, and walk to the –”

“Can you have pizza ordered by the time we make it to the flat?” he asked sitting in his seat and strapping in.

Valerie nodded. “Yes, sir, anything you order.”

“Pan fried, extra cheese, extra pepperoni, pineapples, green peppers, and a side of breadsticks. Put it on my card and order yourself something as well.”

“Yes, sir,” she replied and started the jet up. “Anything to drink?”

“Root beer,” he decided.

Valerie nodded again and then opened a channel to gain clearance for take-off. They were granted it and Sam soon found himself on his way toward another complication he dreaded.

\-------------------------------------------------

“Alright,” Clint said as he walked toward Thor. “What do we do?” he asked rubbing his hands together.

Thor handed a little girl in a pink princess gown a bag. “Thank you for coming, Anna. Have a safe Halloween.”

“Bye Thor,” she shyly waved hiding in her mom’s long gypsy dress.

“Thank you,” the mother smiled.

“Not at all, take care,” he smiled and waved as they left. He turned to Clint. “The first thing you do is greet the child,” he turned to the next one, a boy in a Ninja Turtle suit. “Greetings Midgardian child,” he offered his hand for the boy to shake, which the child did with a wide smile. Thor looked over his shoulder to Clint, “You ask them their name and you repeat it with well wishes.” He turned to the child. “My name is Thor, what is your name?”

“Payton,” he shyly replied.

“Payton, what a good strong name,” he smiled sincerely and then looked at Clint again. “Now you guess or ask what their costume is.” He turned to the child. “I am not familiar with much of Midgard, however I believe you are a turtle of a sort.”

“I’m a Ninja Turtle!” Payton proclaimed excitedly.

“A Ninja Turtle!” Thor said with wide-eyed curiosity. “And what, dear friend, is that?”

“They are a group of turtles and have ninja skills!” he said happily and did a few jerky chopping motions to show off his skills. “They’re good guys, like you.”

“Well any good fellow is welcome to be a friend of mine,” he smiled. “They sound very courageous. You did well in choosing your costume.”

“Thank you,” he said shyly embarrassed at the compliment from his idol.

“Would you care for some candy?” Thor offered. The boy nodded his head excitedly. “I do believe there is a phrase here on Midgard that is spoken before such treats are distributed. Could you remind me of what that is?”

“Trick or treat!” he shouted and gave a little jump excitedly.

“That’s right,” Thor said and went to take a candy bag from the bucket next to him. “Here you are Payton, thank you so much for coming to see us. You and your parents stay safe.”

“We will, thank you!” he said clutching the bag to his chest. “Happy Halloween Thor!”

“Happy Halloween! Remember to thank them for bringing you out,” he reminded.

Payton turned to his parents and thanked them. They smiled and thanked Thor before going off. He waved them off as Payton skipped and enthusiastically chatted to them about his conversation with Thor, even though they were close enough to have heard it all.

Thor turned to Clint. “You talk to them for a bit, nothing over ten minutes, then you thank them and their parental figures for coming, give them the candy, and wish them a safe Halloween.”

“Simple enough,” Clint said.

“Yes, indeed,” Thor agreed. “If you tell Fury you are here, he will start sending families up to you.”

“Huh?” he asked and looked around, not realising Fury was involved in the event.

“Excuse me!” Came Fury’s voice from the far side of the yard. “Why did you come here?” he asked a small group of boys who were trying to climb a tree.

“To see the Avengers,” one answered.

“Then why are you climbing my trees?” he asked.

“We’re bored,” another answered.

“You’re bored?” he said and put his hands on his hips. “You’re here to see the Avengers, Earth’s mightiest heroes, and you’re _bored_?”

“We don’t want to wait in line,”

“How do you expect to meet them if you’re not in line?”

“Our parents are holding our spot,” one boy, who was hanging upside down, answered.

“Well then your parents get to meet them and get the candy,” Nick said.

“No!” they all said, some laughing some whining.

“Yes. That’s the rules. Those who wait in line get to talk to an Avenger and get candy. If you don’t wait in line, you don’t get to do that.” He turned around and pretended to search the line of people. “Where are they? I better tell them not to share.”

“No!” the boys shouted and began climbing and jumping down. They ran hurriedly back to wait in line as they were supposed to and Fury smiled pleased with himself.

Clint went up to him. “What are you supposed to be?”

“Don’t you recognise the King of Pop when you see him?” he asked and flashed a jewelled glove up, striking one of Michael Jackson’s famous poses.

“Yeah, when I see him I do,”

“Alright, smartass, who are you?” he asked unamused.

“Young Qui-Gon Jinn,”

“Is that a race or a name?”

“It’s his name,”

“Is he a cartoon or something?”

“No he’s one of the greatest Jedis to ever live.”

“Sure,” he said. “Alright, Kiwi-Goon Gee, what do you need?”

Clint glared at him. “I’m here to give out candy.”

“Oh so you decided to finally help out? Good,” he nodded and pointed to a bucket not too far down from Thor. It was full and, miraculously, left alone. “That’s your spot. I’ll start sending kids over. You know the drill?”

“Yes,” he snipped and left before the urge to punch him in the face started up. Damn did he hate him most of the time or what? He stood before the bucket and activated his lightsaber. It took a little bit for a new line to start forming up before him, but sure enough Fury’s voice rang out over the crowd and children began excitedly walking toward him. He was glad Fury had told them not to run, because a bloodbath over candy at his station would not have gone over well.

“Romanoff is the Widow’s assistant, Bruce is the Hulks. Tony doesn’t have anyone giving candy out for him,” Fury reminded as he passed Clint.

“Got it,” he said and then put on a smile as a little girl in a sparkly black dress over fluffy tool with little bat wings came skipping up to the front of line. Clint guessed the older woman with her was her grandmother. “Hey!” he smiled and knelt down to her level, all earlier emotions cast aside by her adorable shy smile and bouncy light brown curls as she, Claire-Lyn, babbled excitedly to him about how much she loved him and how she wanted to be an Avenger when she grew up.

“I saw you the other day,” she said and used her hands to demonstrate her perception on the fight with the strange masked people. “You jumped up! And then ran on cars – _Doot! Doot! Doot!_ – and _BOOM_! Got the bad guy to sleep!”

“Yeah I did,” he smiled with a nod.

“And then, and then you went with your friends for pizza. That’s what grandma says you do,”

“She’s very right, we always celebrate with pizza,” he half lied.

“Can I come next time?” she asked.

Clint felt his heart seize and before he could stop himself he was nodding. “Yeah, next time you see us fighting, when the cost is clear and everything is safe, you can come up and we’ll take you for pizza,”

“Yay!” she cheered and hugged him. “I love you Arrow Man!”

“I love you too Claire-Lyn,” he said giving her a small hug back.

“Claire-Lyn,” her grandmother said gently. “We can’t hold the line up, there are other children waiting.”

“Sorry,” she apologised and let Clint go. “Trick or treat!” she said with a winning smile that showed her baby teeth were starting to fall out.

“Here you go,” he said giving her a bag.

“Thank you!” she said taking it. “Happy Halloween!”

“Happy Halloween!” he waved as he rose up and watched her leave.

The next was a family dressed as Super Mario characters. The mother, Nancy, was Peach; the father, Stephen, was Bowser; and their twins, Alex and Will, were Mario and Luigi. They were both two, but they loved the Avengers and the parents were very lovely to talk with. The next family was not so fun. The dad was a very impatient businessman, who had obviously more important things to do than bring his eleven year old son out to meet his heroes. The man talked and yelled on his phone as the boy, who Clint didn’t even get a chance to ask his name, quietly said: “Trick or treat”, and then thanked him for saving the city. He asked Clint to tell the others that they were his heroes and that he supported them, before he was dragged away roughly by his dad.

Clint sighed heavily as he watched them go. He had a flashback of his dad pulling his brother along in the same manner. His father never wore a nice suit like that, but he did yell and give that glare that the man was giving off. It made him sick to his stomach and for a moment he was worried he’d have to take a break to deal with it.

The sight of a child dressed as a Jedi approaching him made the demons of his past disappear, and the little girl raised her green lightsaber. “I am Qui-Gon Jinn!” she announced.

“Impossible!” he declared with a smile activating his lightsaber, “For _I_ am Qui-Gon Jinn!”

Her eyes lit up brighter than any Clint had ever seen. They proceeded to have a mock battle until Fury came over to scold him for such behaviour. Clint stuck his tongue out at Fury as he walked away and the little girl fell over in a fit of giggles. Fury’s intense one-eyed glared was worth it all to Clint if it meant she was enjoying herself.

\-------------------------------------------------

It was early in the evening when Loki decided to stop making bags and venture outside. He stood at the stairs and watched Barton for a few minutes. He felt his mouth pull into a warm smile as he admired the enthusiasm and sincerity the archer displayed as he interacted with each person who came to speak with him. From the very young to the elder adult, Clint spoke and bonded with each and brought smiles to their faces.

The sight tore at Loki’s chest and made him ache in a manner he hadn’t felt in centuries. He gripped his prayer pendant through his shirt and closed his eyes for a moment as he silently prayed to the Norns.

“He will make a great father,” Thor said coming to stand next to his brother.

“Yes.” He cleared his throat and opened his eyes. “Yes he will.”

“I apologise if my leaving earlier upset you,”

Loki shook his head. “It was not you, it was the darkness,” he whispered and crossed his arms to tightly hold his shoulders. He shivered as he felt it slither through him.

“I wish you would let me help,” he said sadly.

“There is nothing you can do,” he replied honestly.

“Yet if there was?” he asked with hope.

Loki was silent for a moment before he looked down at his feet. “Then I would let you know what it was,” he admitted quietly.

Thor’s heart jumped a bit, very happy at that knowledge.

“Have you found your lady?” Loki asked.

Thor shook his head, his mood dropping down a level. “No, no sign of her yet. Phil said that tomorrow, he would begin looking for more signals. He says we are getting closer, yet I feel further than ever.”

“One always does before they find what is lost to them.” He glanced at him and then shook his head.

“What?” Thor asked.

“Nothing,” he said trying not to laugh.

“What?” he demanded.

“Your costume, it is very fitting,” he replied putting a hand over his mouth to keep himself from bursting out loud and drawing attention to himself.

Thor frowned at him. “What are you not telling me?”

“Nothing,”

“Loki.” He said, his voice a warning that a brotherly scuffle would start if he was not informed of why he was being mocked.

“Cavemen were simple minded creatures with appalling manners.”

Thor blinked for a moment and then went to grab Loki into a headlock. The god vanished and Thor stupidly blinked at the empty space where his brother’s head and neck had been a moment ago between his curled arm and side.

“One day,” Loki chuckled from behind him, “you will not fall for that.” Thor spun around to face him. He went to move at him, yet Loki held up a hand. “Peace,” he said stopping him. “I meant all I said in an endearing jesting manner.”

Thor let his anger go and he nodded feeling stupid. “Apologies,” he said.

Loki waved it away and walked up to him. “You were acting in a sibling nature,” he replied with a small appreciative smile.

Thor grinned too and clapped him on the shoulder warmly.

“Thor,” Fury said coming over. “You’ve got someone waiting,” he reminded.

“Apologises!” he said and then looked at Loki. They both nodded to one another in understanding and the thunder god went to greet twin boys dressed as Batman and Robin and a small baby in a pumpkin suit. Their mother was dressed as a cat.

Loki glanced over and found Bruce at the far side of the yard with the young girl Steven and Natasha had described earlier. There was also a female police officer waiting by, but the girl looked incredibly happy as she spoke in private with the scientist. He also seemed very happy, and even somewhat relieved.

Loki was happy for him and, with a deep breath to pull himself together, went to go stand with Clint. He came upon the middle of a conversation between him and a young man who was in a long black robe. A long white mask was in one hand, the face was once Loki did not recognise, yet he felt it was not a friendly one. The child seemed to be upset and almost embarrassed by something.

“I mean have they beat you?” Clint asked.

“No,” the boy said.

“Do they curse your name and lock you in a closet?”

“No,”

“Then what’s up man? Tell me your life,” he said.

The young man shrugged. “It’s just…it’s not normal.”

“Says who?”

“Says everyone?”

“Everyone being _who_?”

“The kids at school, their parents, the people in our neighbourhood, the people at the places we shop and eat at,”

“Where do you live man? Come move in next to us and I guarantee no one will say anything. Wanna know why?”

“Why?”

“Because love is love, regardless of what colour, gender, race, or background. They’re probably saying all of those mean things because they’re jealous,”

The kid let out a small half laugh. “Yeah I guess.”

“I know, people get jealous of me,”

“Yeah but you’re a hero, people are going to be. You probably get all of the ladies,”

Clint shook his head. “That’s Tony’s thing, and even if I did I wouldn’t want them. I’ve got the,” he paused and glanced to the side when he saw Loki come toward him. His face broke into the biggest smile and his cheeks turned a little pink. “I’ve got the best and most amazing person in my life. He is…” he exhaled and shook his head looking up at the sky. “He is my sun, my moon, my stars, my whole enchilada supreme, deep fried ice cream, pumpkin pie, apple cider, peanut butter chocolate smoothie. I love him so much, and I don’t care what anyone says, because at the end of the day, they go home to their boring miserable lives, and I get to spend time with the greatest being in the universe.”

“ _He_?” the young man asked confused.

“Yeah,” Clint nodded and then playfully got defensive. “What a pansexual carnie can’t have a beautiful man in his life?”

“No,” he said quickly putting his hands up and shook his head, worried he’d over stepped his boundaries. “I just – I didn’t – but I’d never guess – and –”

“Alright kid, calm down,” he laughed and patted his shoulder. “It’s fine I’m just messing with you.”

“Oh,” he sighed gratefully and then noticed Loki’s presence. “Hello,” he waved a bit insecurely.

“Greetings,” Loki smiled and offered his hand. “My name is Loki son of Frigga, I am –”

“Thor’s brother!” he smiled excitedly and shook it. “Yeah I saw the pictures at Macy’s! My dad works there. My name is Atreyu.”

Clint chuckled. “I still think that’s the coolest name.”

“Maybe to you, but the kids at school?” he sighed and shook his head.

“Well they’re jealous, so keep that in mind. They’ll never admit it, but they are.” He nodded and then put his hand on the small of Loki’s back. “This is my boo-thing by the way and yes, you can be openly jealous,” he assured with a proud smile.

“Him?” the young man said surprised and point to Loki, “and _you_?” he finished pointing to Clint.

Barton nodded. “Yep,”

“Wow…great job finding a rich one,” he said with a thumbs-up and very impressed expression.

Clint and Loki laughed. “Yes, and he’s handsome too,” Loki said. “My mother always advised me to find a man with those qualities.” He turned to Atreyu as he set a hand to Clint’s chest. “It took a great while, but I managed to.”

“Are you both going to get married or…?”

“Engaged,” Clint answered and then held up a hand to clarify, for he knew Loki was already getting ready to say it, “not officially, so don’t send out those tweets just yet, but it’ll happen.”

The kid made a ‘lips are sealed’ motion. “Is that why the government is after you both?”

“Um…yeah one of the reasons,” Clint nodded.

“Well, I hate the government then,”

“Don’t hate the whole thing, just hate the parts run by the ignorant,” Clint advised. “And remember, you’re almost eighteen, you’ll be able to vote and help make it better.”

“I hope so,” he said and then glanced over his shoulder. “My dads are waving at me. They have this family function thing every year and I’m procrastinating on going.”

“It could be fun,” Clint sang.

“Yeah,” he smiled and looked down at his mask. “I think it might be now.”

“Has he given you candy yet?” Loki asked.

“No,” Atreyu answered.

Loki gave Clint a disapproving look and then picked up a bag of candy. “Here,” he said giving it to the young man, “Happy Halloween.”

“Thanks, and the same to you both.”

“Thank you,” they said and waved as he turned and headed toward two men who were dressed like Chip and Dale. They put their character heads back on and headed off together.

“Remember, they’re all just jealous!” Clint shouted after the boy. He turned and waved a hand indicating he heard him and then put his mask on and went off with his fathers.

“He seemed nice,” Loki noted.

“Yeah, but speaking of nice,” he turned and looked Loki up and down with a long whistle. “Wow you look fine.”

Loki flushed and looked down at his ensemble. “Honestly?”

“Yeah,”

He was dressed in a store-bought costume: shiny black and red striped pants; a white cotton poet shirt; black pleather vest; and a matching black and red striped head bandana. He also had a large gold hoop clipped to his ear and a plastic sword at his side. His hair was loose and slightly wavy, for he hadn’t bothered to brush it completely straight earlier.

“Yeah, I love it,” he smiled and took a step closer. “I myself am a pirate too.”

“Oh yeah?” he smiled and flirted along.

“Yeah, I look for good booty and I never share my spoils.”

Loki threw his head back and laughed.

“I can’t wait to peel you out of it later,” he whispered against his ear.

The god hummed and kept his secret to himself. Fury came over to them promptly.

“Have you two lost your damn minds?” he hissed in a low voice.

“Not recently, why?” Clint sassily replied back in a manner that suggested he didn’t care for Fury being near them and interrupting their moment.

“There are families here with small children and they are taking pictures,”

“Okay well someone somewhere is going to find out and spread it all over the news; I’d rather just own up to it than hide from it,” he shrugged. Loki didn’t know how he felt about being shamed for being affectionate in public. It was something Odin would have done to him and he looked down trying to keep those feelings from rising.

Fury exhaled angrily and muttered as he walked away.

“I’ve gotten you in trouble,” Loki said sadly. “I apologise.”

“Don’t you dare,” he warned. “Good booty never apologises, not matter what the costs of the expeditions are.”

Loki laughed again and playfully hit Clint’s shoulder. “You are horrid.”

“You think that’s horrid?” he asked surprised. He opened his mouth to say something and then noticed a tiny girl hurrying up to him and Loki. “So then the guy says to the horse, ‘why the long face?’,” he ended and laughed.

Loki picked up on his need to cover and laughed as well. “Midgardian jokes are unusual,” he said.

“Yeah,” Clint said and cleared his throat. “Hello!” he smiled greeting her with a wave.

She waved shyly back and blushed.

“Hi,” the mother said coming up. “She’s, um, she’s deaf,” she said, and tears stung her eyes a bit.

Clint realised it must have been a recent discovery for the mother to react such a way. “Does she know sign language?”

“Yeah,” she said nodding and brushed back her tears. “I-I don’t though. I…I’m not a faster learner like she is. I only know a few…things,”

“Okay,” he nodded and knelt before the girl. _Hello_ , he greeted with a smile in sign.

The little girl’s eyes widened and she repeated the motion back with great enthusiasm. _Hello!_

 _My name is H-A-W-K-E-Y-E,_ he signed and spelled out his name. He then made an “H” and then quickly followed up with the sign for bird to show his personal sign-name.

 _My name is M-E-L-O-D-Y,_ she signed and made an ‘m’ and moved it along her arm like the sign for music.

 _Happy Halloween Melody!_ He motioned and used her sign-name.

 _Happy Halloween Hawkeye!_ She repeated and giggled as she made the letter “H” and sign for bird.

_You are a very beautiful little witch,_

_Thank you_ , she giggled doing the gesture and then looked down at her tiny little dress shyly.

He waited until she was looking at him again before he asked: _Did you make a Jack-o-lantern this year?_

She nodded and began describing as best as she could. _Mom took me to the pumpkin, and I carved a Jack-o-lantern._

 _Very good,_ he said and shook his hands out next to his face to indicate he was silently clapping for her. _Would you like some candy?_

_Yes, please,_

_What do you sign?_

She shrugged and shook her head. _I don’t know,_ she signed.

Clint chuckled and then made the motion for ‘trick’, a closed fist hitting his pointer finger. She copied him. He then pointed to his cheek and moved his finger a little to do the ‘candy’ sign. She did the same. He repeated the actions.

She tapped his hands and asked what the first sign meant. He spelled it out. She nodded and smiled as she repeated the sign for “Trick or Treat” over and over. She looked up at her mother and did it proudly.

“Very good,” her mother said as she signed her words.

Clint took a candy bag and held it for Melody to take. She took it and thanked him.

“You’re welcome,” he smiled and made the sign for it before standing.

“Thank you,” her mother said gratefully. “I…I’m just…I really appreciate it.”

“No problem,” he reassured her and then waved down to Melody. “Bye!” he said and signed, “Happy Halloween!” again.

 _Happy Halloween!_ She signed again and waved bye before she took her mother’s hand and skipped away.

“That was incredible,” Loki smiled.

“What?”

“What you just did. How you communicated with her like that,”

“Oh Sign Language?” he asked and then did a few random signs before shrugging. “You pick stuff up over the years and I just happened to have a deaf roommate when I started at S.H.I.E.L.D.”

“And people speak with their hands when they cannot hear or speak?”

“Yep,” he said.

“You all are so fascinating,”

“There aren’t any deaf people on Asgard?”

Loki shook his head. “Not any longer. A cure for such was found many centuries ago. Long before even I was born.”

“That’s crazy. Why didn’t they ever give it to us?”

Loki shrugged. “Bor was never a generous man and Odin is much like his father.”

“Isn’t there like a Viking legend that says he has brothers?”

Loki nodded and lowered his voice with a pained frown. “Rumour is he killed them. Odin punished any who spoke such as truth long ago. No one on Asgard dares to even think it now.”

“How do you know about it then?”

Loki flinched and looked down at his feet. “I…I heard it from a girl. She was a servant in the palace. I…I never saw her again after.”

“No?” he frowned sensing there was more.

“Not alive…” Loki whispered and swallowed. “You are running low,” he said pointing to the bucket, not wanting to hear whatever comforting thing Clint had to say in response. “I shall get you more.” He turned and hurried back inside.

Thor came over. “How are things?” he asked happily.

“Good,” Clint nodded. “I’ve given away almost a whole bucket.”

“Very good!” he cheered and clapped him on the back, knocking the wind from him.

Clint coughed and cleared his throat. “How many have you?”

“Two,”

“Two candy bags?”

“Two buckets,”

Clint glared at him. “It’s because you’re half naked and attractive.”

“Yes, I am,” he agreed proudly with a winning smile.

“Alright, I know you didn’t come over here to gloat,” he huffed, his ego wounded a little. “What’s up?”

“Oh yes, Natasha was wondering if you needed a break.”

“I would love one, after the next five.”

“I shall tell her.”

“Hey,” he said catching Thor’s arm before he could head off. “I said something to Loki that might have upset him. We were talking and your dad was brought up, and like his brothers?”

Thor’s face fell and he did a miserable job recovering it. “Ástrid,” he whispered and closed his eyes tightly for a moment. “I advise you, do not try to apologise. It is best that you pretend such a conversation never happened. It is a too painful a memory that I only wish could be eradicated.”

“Okay,” he nodded and let the whole thing go. “Sorry,” he said, knowing Thor needed that sort of verbal confirmation.

“It is not your fault. That was a dark year for all,” Thor said and then left.

Clint turned and found himself face to face with a long lost face. “Wow,” he whispered surprised. “You’ve grown.”

“Yeah,” the young woman smiled and looked down at her knee length Red Riding Hood outfit before looking back at him. “You look younger; what surgery did you get?”

Clint laughed. “No surgery, just a few life style changes.”

“Yeah? Like what?”

“Um…well for starters, I don’t work for S.H.I.E.L.D. anymore,”

“I heard,” she said, her smile falling into a serious frown. “That’s why I’ve come.”

“How long is this going to take?” he asked.

“I’m not sure,” she replied honestly.

“I’m going on a break soon, if you give me a few I’ll give you all the time you need,” he promised.

“It’s urgent Clint,”

“I know Kate,” he sighed. “You wouldn’t be here for any other reason.”

She paused for a moment and the nodded. “I’ll wait by the fence,” she said pointing to a space near the side of the house. “I can’t stay long.”

“Okay,” he nodded. “Fifteen minutes tops and then I’ll be over there.”

She nodded and marched off. Clint braced himself for the next few minutes and forced the dread from himself at the thought of the next that would follow.

\-------------------------------------------------

The evening ended well. Loki helped give out a few candy bags yet kept mostly silent, preferring to run back and for refilling water bottles, candy buckets, and bringing snacks during the big rush than speaking to the countless number of strangers. Many had travelled a great distance in order to meet the famous heroes.

There was an incident of people posing as a family of fans. They got all the way up to Thor and then pulled a knife out. Tony’s nearby and mostly hidden security team took them down quickly and Fury quickly reorganised the whole event. The blade had been made from an unknown metal that Jarvis did not have in his database for detecting. Bruce took the plastic wrapped blade and hurried to the lab to do some testing and get it into the system.

The chaos died down and when eight-thirty rolled around two highly professional Stark Industry secretaries took up distributing while the security team took over organising and keeping the remaining people in line.

Once inside Natasha took off her heels with a grateful sigh and flopped onto the living room couch.

“Round of beers?” Steve asked knowingly.

“Yes,” they all agreed.

“I’ll help,” said Coulson, who had also been in charge of helping to refill buckets once they had made all that they had. At the time they had made them they hoped it would last the night, but they knew from the mess all over the kitchen table and the plastic bags waiting in the hall for the people outside to use, they would be left over with so much extra they could use them for next year’s Halloween.

“Come here,” Clint said sitting in one of the large chairs and pulled Loki into his lap.

The god smiled and brushed the archer’s hood from his face before kissing him. “Is that a lightsaber or are you happy to see me?” he whispered; his tongue a little clumsy around the foreign word yet the use of it made goose bumps break out along Clint’s body.

“It’s a bit of both,” he grinned and shifted so that the fake weapon wasn’t digging into either of them.

“That wasn’t so bad,” Steve said as he entered and handed out beers. Coulson followed behind him with a ton safely held in his arms.

“Nah, much easier than I imagined,” Bruce agreed and took one. “Thank you,” he said. Phil nodded with a smile.

“Almost too easy,” Natasha said and pulled a knife from her bra to use against the table to open her beer. She offered it to Loki and then blinked when she found the god had already taken his off.

He blinked a little confused back and then looked between the top in one hand and the beer in the other. “Where these not twist off?” he asked sheepishly.

She smiled at him and then shook her head. “No, but so long as you’re not hurt I don’t see any reason why you should be embarrassed for opening it that way.”

“Pop me,” Clint said holding his out for assistance.

Loki traded him and opened it. The other males minus Thor, who was already on his second beer, used the bottle opener and they all raised them high.

“To us!” Thor cheered.

“To us!” the others repeated and took a drink.

“To surviving the night,” Bruce added.

“And may I never see another damn goodie bag for a whole year,” Natasha smiled leaning comfortably back and took another drink.

“Movie?” Bruce offered. There was a chattering of agreement and nonchalant shrugs, so he picked up the remote and searched for a station. “Something season appropriate?”

“Of course,” Clint replied and took another drink before him and Loki shifted around in the seat until they were comfortable and able to view the TV properly.

Bruce found the twenty-four hour commercial-free station and they caught the ending of some bizarre movie no one really bothered to pay attention too. _The Addam’s Family_ started.

At one point Loki felt eyes upon him and realised Thor was watching him to gauge his reaction to the brotherly reunion and banter Gomez and Fester had with one another. It made him a little uncomfortable, so he shifted to the other side of Clint’s lap so that he was facing away from Thor. He still felt as though he was being put on the spot for all to see and judge, yet the pressure was somewhat relieved when he couldn’t see his blonde head turning sharply to stare at him and then turn away for a bit.

Clint moved his hand down from the god’s side to put at his hip and brushed his nose against Loki’s jaw. The god moved his face away from the gesture, partially because he was still a little irritated over Thor gawking at him, yet he sent Clint warm reassurance that he appreciated his affections.

 _Do you want to talk about it?_ he offered.

Loki shook his head a bit. _No._

 _Okay._ he said and finished off his beer. Loki took the empty bottle and gave him his nearly full one. _Don’t you want it?_

Loki shook his head again. _It is not to my taste._

_Yeah, this isn’t my favourite either, but a good buzz is always great before bed._

Loki smirked and turned to look at the archer. He brushed Barton’s hair back from his forehead before pressing a simple kiss to it. He shifted in the chair until he could put his head on Clint’s shoulder and gave up watching the movie; curling in his lap instead and focused on the feel and sound of his heart beating in his chest.

The darkness stretched and settled in his stomach, making him feel a little ill. Clint rubbed his side and stuck his beer carefully between the chair side and his leg so that his other hand was free to rest on the god’s thigh. He rested his cheek on Loki’s head with a contented sigh.

“What do I need to pick up from the store tomorrow morning?” Steve asked Natasha quietly.

“I left the list on the fridge. If you can’t find something or forget, it’s fine. I think we’ll have enough,” she replied back and then turned toward Loki. “Are you going to make the dip?”

He lifted his head, a bit unsure at first if he was the one she was speaking too and then nodded when no one else answered.

“Do you need any help after that?” Steve asked.

She shook her head, “Nope, just the list.”

“Well,” Fury said and rose as the movie ended. “I’m old and tired. I wish you all a great evening.” He nodded his head and left the room.

“Same,” Bruce said. “I have to finish the analysis if the weapon and give it to the police early in the morning.” He got up and gathered his empty bottle. “I’ll see you tomorrow, sleep well,” he waved.

Everyone bid their farewells and good nights to the two. _The Nightmare Before Christmas_ came on again and Loki decided to watch the ending this time.

“I think I’m going to sleep in,” Natasha said softly to herself halfway through the film.

“Yeah?” Steve asked.

“Yeah a whole five minutes,” Clint added in a joking tone.

Natasha threw him a glare and then chuckled. “Nope,” she shook her head and took a drink. “A whole thirty.”

Clint shrugged, “I was close.”

Loki smirked, but the good humour for such a moment didn’t last long and soon the movie’s themes were taking a toll on the god.

When it was done Clint knew it was time for them to make their farewells. He could feel Loki struggling internally with too many dark thoughts. He gently patted his side and Loki rose quickly, clutching the empty bottle to his chest as Clint followed and drained the last little bit of his.

“You too?” Natasha said in a manner that hinted she was judging Clint.

“Yeah, I’m old,” Clint smiled. “Besides, I guess I should get used to the whole getting up early thing,” he added as he set their bottles down on the coffee table and took one of Loki’s hands. “Night everyone,” he waved and lead the god out.

“Night,” the others called.

Thor made to get up and follow, but Natasha quickly sat up and shook her head. The thunder god struggled with his decision for several seconds before he nodded and realised it was best to leave his brother alone.

“Another day,” she promised.

He nodded again and finished his beer. It was frustrating, but he knew that things between them were still severely broken. A few shared moments wouldn’t change several thousands of years full of misunderstandings.

That thought alone stung him deeply and he got up. “Would anyone enjoy another?”

“Yeah why not?” Natasha shrugged and looked at Steven. “Babe?”

He nodded. “If you wouldn’t mind?”

Thor shook his head. “Not at all.” He turned to Phil. “Coulson?”

“Nah, I’m good, thank you though,”

Thor left to retrieve more and when he returned to his friends he found a movie waiting for him that looked rather scary.

“Don’t worry,” Natasha said to Steve as she set the remote down and leaned back. “I’ll check under the bed for monsters.” She smiled at him and took his hand.

He chuckled nervously and patted hers with his other one. “I trust you.”

Natasha swallowed and looked at the screen without saying anything in return. It was enough for Steve though, because his grin didn’t fade for several minutes.

Thor set their beers before them and sat back, not really paying attention to much else as he contemplated the events of the day.

\-------------------------------------------------

Clint wrapped his arms around Loki as they stood in the middle of the doorway. He inhaled and gave him a good squeeze from behind. Loki was very appreciative of it. He leaned back into his warmth and turned his face so that if the archer so choose, he could easily kiss his cheek. Clint did choose to do so and after a few small kisses he released his hold on the god a bit.

Loki turned around and held either side of Clint’s face, looking his features over lovingly before giving him a kiss. “Thank you,” he whispered and rested their foreheads together.

He hummed and made them sway from side to side a bit. “For?”

“Just being you,” he finished very quietly. He raised his head and gave Barton one final kiss before they let go of one another.

They readied for bed in silence. Loki was done before Clint, as usual, so he went to close the door and gathered their blankets upon the bed properly before laying down.

Clint flipped the bathroom lights off and crawled in after him. Loki worried his lip. “What?” Barton asked as he flopped down flat, his face disappearing into a pillow.

“Nothing,” Loki said and bit his bottom lip harder.

Clint turned onto his side to prop himself up a little on an elbow and tickled Loki’s chin. “Stop it. You’re going to chap your lips and then kissing won’t be enjoyable anymore.” Loki jerked his face away. Clint paused and then sat up all of the way. “Did I do something wrong?”

Loki shook his head quickly and felt tears prick his eyes. He rolled onto his side and squeezed them shut as he forced himself to breath.

“I’m sorry,” Clint said and leaned down to grab the covers.

“It’s not your fault,” Loki said, and his voice was not how he wished it to have been. It was sharp, loud, and bitter. He had meant it as sympathetic, loving, and soft. He flinched.

Clint froze for a second and then continued covering them up. He didn’t say anything, even after he settled down. He kept himself a good foot away from Loki, giving him the space the god obviously did not want but needed. He stared at his back and watched as he struggled not to cry, or perhaps he was crying already and struggling to keep it silent. It broke his heart to see it, yet he knew that things would have eventually come to this. They were nearing the crossroads in Loki’s struggles and he could only do so much to help him.

“I’m sorry,” Loki said after a time and sniffed as he wiped his eyes. “I didn’t…I’m sorry,” he said again and curled up tightly.

Clint sensed what the god couldn’t ask for and wiggled up behind him, sliding his arms around and held him tightly to his chest. Loki’s hands rested over Clint’s arms and he sniffed again.

“Have I ruined things?” he asked, terrified of the answer.

Clint kissed Loki’s shoulder. “No,” he said simply.

If they had not been connected Loki would have doubted his words; however, he felt deep within Clint that promising truth bloom. It eased the ache in his body and he brushed the darkness aside.

It hissed yet let him be for the night.

“I love you,” Loki said, still worrying his lip some.

Clint inhaled and exhaled in a deep and contented manner. “I love you too.” He kissed his shoulder again. “I won’t let you go,” he promised.

The words sparked the memory from the other night. The romantic bath, the sweet foods, the passionate sex, and the loving words all returned to him in a rush and it filled him up like morning sunlight. It warmed him and made his body tingle as his anxiety lessened.

“I trust you,” he said and brought one of Clint’s hands up to kiss. “I trust you Clinton.” And he knew Clint trusted him too. Loki felt an odd sort of peace settle within him and he soon found sleep.

  



	45. Chapter 45

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That wonky thing still isn't fixed yet, but I tried my best to be speedier with this one. Happy Holidays everyone! I won't post again until after Christmas. I wish you the very best this season, whatever way you celebrate!
> 
> All mistakes are my own fault. Sorry. If something doesn't sound right, let me know and I'll fix it!  
> Enjoy it! <3

\----------------------45----------------------

Clint woke to find the bed empty. Normally he would have panicked, and he almost did for a second, but he remembered last night and realised what day it was. He quickly sat up.

“It’s Halloween!” he whispered and then promptly shouted it as he scrambled out of bed, like some child too excited for Christmas. He hurried to pull his costume on, which he found hanging up neatly in the closet, and raced down the stairs.

Loki and Natasha were in the kitchen, both in their costumes again, and both working over something on the stove.

“Tilt it, don’t stir,” Loki said to her. “Stirring clumps the sugar particles and it will not come out as smooth.”

“Hiiiiya!” Clint said rolling into the room. Loki and Natasha ignored him in favour of continuing their work. He got up and went over to them. “What’s that.”

“Loki’s teaching me how to make caramel,” Natasha explained as she slowly rotated the large pot over the burner.

“You already know how to,”

“Not this kind,” she nearly sang as she continued to focus. “Now why does stirring clump the sugar?”

“Sugar naturally wants to bind to something,” the god explained. “If it’s all by itself it’ll stick together and you’ll have lumps that are unsightly and useless. Once we put the other ingredients in you can stir it again, but not a lot.”

“What’s the difference between this caramel and the ones you’ve made before?” Clint asked.

“This one is a dry caramel,” Natasha replied.

“Looks kind of wet to me,” he said leaning forward carefully to sneak a peek inside.

She glared at him. “It’s dry because you don’t add water; it’s just the sugar itself being melted down.”

“Wouldn’t that burn?”

“Sugar already has enough water in it,” Loki explained and turned to Clint. “If you’re hungry we made pumpkin chocolate chip muffins. They’re on the table with the eggs and bacon.” Clint got excited and went to rush off to eat some, but Loki held him still for a moment. “Don’t be greedy. Save some for the others.”

“Fine,” he sighed as though it were a great chore to ask him such a thing, but he went and respectfully took one muffin to start off with, but he didn’t skimp on the bacon. Not that Loki expected him too, which is why he had a plate stashed away in case.

He gave the archer the syrup bottle and returned to the island where he continued to cut and scope out the avocados. He put them into a medium sized bowl and added a whole container of Greek Yoghurt and a sprinkle of salt before he started smooshing it together.

“What are you making?” Clint asked.

“A crisp dip,” Loki replied and then paused a moment. “Or chip... whatever way you prefer to call them,” he finished with a shrug.

“‘Chips’, American; ‘Crisps’, British,” Natasha reminded.

“Yes, thank you,” he said with a small grateful sigh. “I was worried if I even had the right word at all.”

“Nope, you’re doing well,” she grinned at him from over her shoulder encouragingly.

Clint narrowed his eyes as he watched them. “What’s going on?” he asked after a moment.

“Pardon?” They both said in unison.

“You’re both keeping something from me.”

The two poorly disavowed his accusation by continuously stating various forms of denials that only served to make Clint grow more suspicious. When he glanced away Natasha and Loki shared a secretive smirk. Thor entered then; Loki quickly looked down at his bowl and continued his work.

“Greetings,” he said rubbing his hand nervously as he tried not to look at his brother. He was dressed in regular clothing and had his hair pulled back into a ponytail. Everyone knew what that meant: he was going out to look for Jane again. Loki clenched his teeth together.

“Good morning,” Tasha said with a smile.

“Has Coulson come down yet?”

“Not yet, but there is breakfast on the table; eat that while you wait. I’ll get you some coffee,” she said and went to grab him a mug.

Thor took a carefully controlled deep breath. “I…I do not have the stomach for such; however, I thank you for making it.” He took a step back and then gestured over his shoulder. “I shall wait in the common room. Please inform him of such and that he may eat if he pleases. I am not in a hurry.”

“Thor,” Natasha said and moved to try and coax him back into the room, but he was already hurrying away. She stopped at the door and then looked at Loki.

The god swallowed and carefully glanced up, catching her eye for a moment before looking back down at the bowl he was now barely stirring. He started whisking it as he set his jaw and focused on making the dip instead of the outside world.

Natasha gave a small sigh and then went back to watching her caramel. “Clint when you’re done would you mind putting sticks in the apples? They’re in the sink.”

“Yeah,” he said and finished some more of his plate before he got up and went to the sink. He washed his hands in the other side and then took the colander of washed apples out of the other and set them on the counter. He took the package of sticks and opened them. “Where do you want the prepped ones?”

“You can just set them on the counter, it’s clean enough.”

“Okay,” he said and twisted the stem out of an apple before stuffing the stick through the centre. He glanced over his shoulder and saw Loki was still fiddling with adding spices to the dip according to taste. After several additions he finally put a plate over the top of the bowl and set it in the fridge to chill.

“How is it?” Loki asked as he came over to check on Natasha’s work.

“Good. It’s getting darker,” she replied.

He looked at it and then nodded. “You may stir it very gently and carefully.” She nodded and did so with a wooden spoon. He watched her for a bit and told her when to stop. She resumed tilting the pan carefully until it became the colour they were looking for: a deep dark copper. “Now add all of the butter and stir almost the same way you were before.”

Natasha added the soft butter and stirred. It started coming together and the colour changed a bit. “Then the cream?”

“No, let this darken a little bit more before you add the cream. Before you do, turn the burner off,” Loki added on his way to the pantry.

Clint waited a minute until after he was gone before he looked at Natasha. “What’s up?”

“Nothing, just making caramel,” she replied.

“No, I meant just a second ago,”

“I’m not aware of anything,”

“You’re getting rusty, I can tell you’re lying,” he muttered and stabbed another apple and set it aside.

Natasha glared at him. “I’m not getting rusty; I just know it’s not my business.”

“It should be,” he said and then muttered, “Now that you’re replaced me with Loki as your bestie.”

Romanoff pushed the stove off and turned to him. “Are you serious right now?”

“What?” he shrugged and skewered another apple.

“I did _not_ replace you with anyone. You’re still very dear to me.” She turned back to the stove and stirred the caramel a bit before she traded the spoon for a whisk and began adding the heavy cream. “I just know that no matter how many times I offer or try to ask neither of them will talk about it. All I can do is stay a buffer between them as they sort it out themselves. I’m just as stuck as you are.”

Clint thought about what she said for a moment before he nodded his head. “I’m sorry for being childish a second ago. I know you didn’t replace me.” He had to use a little more force to get the stick through the next apple. “I’m actually really glad you both are getting along. It’s a little odd how it just kind of happened, but I guess you both sorted your stuff out between yourselves?”

“Yes. It wasn’t easy, but now that we’ve found a common ground I see more of why you love him every day.” They looked at one another and both smiled. “He’s a very good man, Clint. I know he’s done some things he’s ashamed of, but then again,” she shrugged and looked back at her foaming concoction. “I’m done a lot of things I’m ashamed of. You gave me a second chance to better myself and it’s only fair to do that for others.”

“I’m proud to say I broke the stone around your heart,” he grinned and stuck the last apple. “And I’m glad you found someone to help melt the ice.” She sighed a bit and her mouth fell into a serious line. “What?” he asked noticing her reaction. “What did I say?”

“Nothing, it’s…it’s still odd to me,” she whispered and switched back to stirring with the spoon. She handed him the whisk. “It’s hot,” she warned.

“Thanks,” he said and carefully blew on it before trying it. “Oh that’s _good_ ; very rich and nutty.”

“The sink,” she gestured.

Clint knew what to do; he’d helped his mother make caramel before. He quickly plugged the side of the sink the apples had been in and filled it with cold water. “So it’s odd still?”

She nodded. “I don’t…” she sighed heavily. “Not today,” she decided and removed the pot from the stove and set into the cold water. It hissed as the bottom hit the water and she shut the faucet off once the water set halfway around the pot. She stirred the mixture a few more times before she set the spoon aside and went to get the baking sheets on the island. They were lined with a greased piece of wax paper each. She handed them to Clint.

“Okay,” he said and set them down near the apples, separating them so that she could use them as she worked along the counter. “Anything else?”

She smiled at him, “Nope; go finished your food.”

He kissed her forehead and returned to his cold bacon and muffin.

Loki returned with several bags of baking chocolate bits and nuts. He set them on the island and poured them into bowls. Two he set on the counter for Natasha and the other he took to the stove where he set it over a pot that had been slowly heating with water. He began stirring it. “How is the caramel?”

“Done,” She smiled and stirring a normal spoon into it before offering it to Loki. The god took it and tasted it.

He smiled. “Perfect.”

“Thank you,” she beamed and felt the apples. They were still fairly cold so she decided to start dipping and spinning them in the caramel now that it had cooled a bit and thickened up some.

Phil entered in jeans and a nice black sweater. “Thor in the living room?” he asked looking around.

“Yes,” Natasha replied as she finished the first apple and set it on the baking sheet. “Hungry?”

“No, thank you though. We’ll be back later,” he said and quickly left.

Loki stared at the chocolate as it slowly melted. Natasha glanced at him and then picked up another apple. Clint struggled on if he should say something. He sent a comforting brush along the bond. He felt Loki grip it tightly and knew that was the best he could offer him for the moment.

They continued working in silence. Natasha dipped some of the apples in the nuts or the chocolate chips and then set them on the baking sheets to harden. When Loki had melted the chocolate, he carefully handed the bowl over and Natasha drizzled a few of each kind with it. She left some of them just dipped in the caramel with nothing else on them. When they were done, they had four sheets along the counter that smelled and looked wonderful.

Natasha stopped Loki from helping her clean up. She shooed him toward Clint and got a container to store the rest of the caramel in. “I’ve got it,” she reassured.

Loki nodded and went to sit at the table next to Clint. “You didn’t finish your bacon,” he commented.

“I saved it for you,” he said pushing his plate toward the god.

Loki shook his head. “I’m not hungry.”

Clint knew better, so he pushed the plate a tiny bit closer and smiled at the god. Loki looked at it and then him before he gave in and ate the few remaining pieces. Barton smiled fondly at him as he watched him eat. Loki looked away. “What?” Clint asked.

“What?” Loki replied back in much the same manner.

“What was that look for?” he said still grinning.

Loki tried not to smile back. “That look.”

“What about it?” he said leaning toward him a little.

He shook his head and held a piece of bacon out. Clint bit it and growled a little as he intently watched him. Loki felt his body heat up and he tried pulling the piece back. Clint moved with it a little before he bit down harder to separate what he had in his mouth from the main part. “It’s intimidating,” he replied simply and took a bite of the bacon slice.

Clint smiled as he chewed. “You’re so beautiful.”

His words caught the god off guard a bit and he stared at Barton a little shocked. It obviously wasn’t the first time the archer had said such a thing, however it still surprised and flattered Loki immensely that he found him so. He looked away and stuffed the rest of the bacon in his mouth without thinking.

Clint chuckled and leaned toward him more. Loki reflectively leaned in yet turned his face so that Clint could kiss his cheek as he finished chewing. The archer knew he would do that, so he countered and tilted his face at the last second to swoop in to kiss Loki on the mouth. The god made a small startled noise and went to push him away, for the sake of not getting bacon all over either of them, or having it disgustingly fall from their mouths, but Clint kept his lips closed as he pressed them to the god’s.

Loki pulled back a bit and quickly swallowed his food before kissing him properly. Clint tasted of pumpkin, chocolate, and maple; he was so sweet and delicious. He knew he must have tasted of maple syrup and bacon as well as the strong orange, ginger, and black leaf tea he had that morning, but Clint didn’t mind the bitter flavour. He leaned in more and deeply kissed Loki. The god held Barton’s face in his hands, supressing the urge to hum as he savoured their moment.

Clint didn’t. He loudly moaned and turned his head so that he could flick his tongue out. The god shivered and excitedly shifted closer. There was a loud banging noise and they both jumped, Clint looking around to assure that they weren’t in danger and Loki pulled back and covering his mouth with a hand as he fought to hide his smile. His whole body tingled in a manner only Clint could spark. He knew he had the same effect on him as well, his ears were starting to turn pink and his breath was short.

“Sorry,” Bruce called from somewhere past the foyer.

Natasha hurried to see what was going on. She returned just as Bruce and Steve passed carrying pieces of a broken bedframe, duck taped together. “It was broken beforehand,” she said with a shrug as she explained to the other two.

“I thought all broken furniture pieces were moved out of the bedrooms when we moved in?” Clint asked.

“Accidents happen,” she said casually.

The other two knew what that meant. From the looks of it they guessed that Banner had hulked out in the middle of the night. Loki controlled his breathing and focused as he listened in.

“Thanks,” Bruce said to Steve as they totted it outside to the front lawn to be picked up. The hazy grey and black shapes of their encounter started forming in his mind.

“No problem, and hey, don’t beat yourself up about this,” Steve reassured with a kind-hearted supportive smile.

“I just feel horrible. I’m really sorry I punched out your bathroom wall,”

“You were having a nightmare, things happen.” They set the useless parts down and dusted their hands. “I know I’ve woken up Natasha dozens of times from them and gotten a blow to the face or had to take a knife from her hand. I learned always to check under her pillows and the mattress for weapons before waking her. And besides, I have them too. Everyone reacts to stress differently.”

“Yeah well you all don’t blow up into a massive monster that destroys everything in its path,” Banner sighed with a crippling amount of self-hatred laced around his words.

“Doesn’t matter what anyone turns into; if they need help we help them. That’s what friends are for.”

Loki felt Clint’s fingers just a hair away from touching his cheek and his hand reflexively shot out to stop him. He inhaled and blinked several times as his focus returned to his present space and he let go of Clint’s hand. “Apologises, I was thinking,” he whispered and hoped he hadn’t hurt him.

Clint didn’t flinch or even check his wrist, he just continued as if nothing had happened and lovingly touched Loki. The god leaned into it and caught his hand, this time to hold against his face. He swallowed and closed his eyes as he took a deep breath.

 _You know when you do that you can’t control what goes through the bond right?_ Clint asked.

Loki opened his eyes to look at him for several long seconds before he kissed his palm. _I am now._

_I mean you can do it, but if you want me to tune stuff like that out let me know so I’ll like piddle around in some corner of my mind and not pay attention to the chatter in the back of my head._

“I have to finish helping Natasha set up for the party,” he replied and rose, bending to give the back of Clint’s hand a kiss and placed several upon his wrist in apology. He let him go and hurried off to the pantry.

“What’s cooking?” Steve said entering the kitchen.

“Cooked,” Natasha replied and pointed to the table. “Loki has a time spell upon them so anything on the plates remains as it was when we first set them there. Neat, huh?”

“Yeah this makes breakfast a lot easier,” he smiled and leaned in to kiss her. Natasha took a deep breath and became very still. Steve realised this and quickly pulled back. “Sorry,” he said softly to her. “I for–”

“It’s fine,” she smiled and relaxed a little. She put her hand on his shoulder and then leaned up and gave him a small kiss on his cheek before turning away and pretended to busy herself with washing the now empty sink. “Thank you though,” she whispered.

He nodded and went to the table where Banner was already making himself something to eat. “I think I’m going to throw in a load of wash,” Steve said aloud and glanced over his shoulder to Natasha. “Does anyone mind?”

They shook their heads and muttered things like: “No”, “Can’t imagine why I’d mind”, and “Go ahead”.

The soldier left to do such. Banner made a plate and then made himself some tea. “I’m going down the lab. I’ve got stuff to work on,” he muttered.

“It’s fine, you don’t need to make excuses for going to the lab,” Natasha said gently. “Sometimes I don’t want to be around people too; Thor goes to the roof; Clint goes to the training showers. We all have places to hide out.”

“Hey!” Clint began in a grumpy manner. “If you give away the locations then they’re –”

“The point is, ‘do what you have to do for you’,” she finished without missing a beat and ignoring Clint’s whining.

“That quote curtesy from this guy,” Clint said raising his arm and pointing down at himself, “Date: April fourth, two-thousand-five.”

“March fourth: remember?”

“Yeah, that’s right. Lebanon. We were there to help the revolution,” he said rubbing his chin as he leaned back in his chair. “The UN had a fit over us dropping in. Fury got his ass chewed out for it.”

“What?” Said man barked as he entered.

“Lebanon,” Natasha clarified. “We were recalling past events.”

“Yes,” he said as he paused and remembered it. “Catching hell from that wasn’t anything compared to helping end the genocide in Rwanda. I almost lost my job for that.”

“But you managed to lose it for keeping our location secret?” Clint asked.

“Apparently two of S.H.I.E.L.D.’s best, a childish genius, a super-soldier, a humanitarian genius, two aliens, and Coulson being alive where a bit too much to deal with,” he said with a shrug as he sat down at the table.

“We thank you for doing what you did,” Bruce said humbly.

“Yeah well it’s not like you all made it easy…or you did, but in a manner that lead us to underestimate ourselves and overestimate you.”

“We learned from the best,” Clint grinned and saluted toward the man.

Fury rolled his eye and leaned forward to take a muffin. “These still smell fresh,” he said as he sniffed it.

“Loki put a time spell on it to prevent them from going cold and bad. That way you all could come and go and eat as you please,” Natasha explained.

Fury paused for a second, looking from the muffin to her and then back to it before staring hard at her. “What kind of spell?”

“One that ends when you remove the object from the plate,” Loki said as he came into the room holding a dozen boxes of frozen pizzas. “More or less?” he asked Natasha, indicating the objects in hand.

“That’ll be fine,” she smiled and cleared a space on the island for him. “By the time we get all of these made up we should be ready for a nice simple night of fun.”

“Call me when it’s time,” Bruce said with a small wave and went to lock himself in the lab.

“Ditto,” said Clint rising. “Unless you need me?” he asked stretching.

“No,” the two replied.

“Then I’ll be down shooting. And don’t worry,” he said as he came over and set his hands on Loki’s hips. “That’s all I’ll be doing and I’ll stay on the ground. No tricks, nothing fancy or special, just simple target practice.”

“Have fun,” he said with a smile and they gave one another small smooch. Clint stole another fast one and let his hands slide off of Loki’s body in a way that made him still feel his touch for several minutes after he had gone. “So the pizzas,” he said clearing his throat.

Natasha smiled and they began opening them to assemble. “Want to help?” she asked the director.

Fury neatly folded his empty muffin wrapper and then nodded. “Sure, why not. I haven’t helped make a pizza in ages.”

\-------------------------------------------------

“They aren’t doing anything,” he replied over the phone.

“Nothing?” Hill sounded a bit exasperated and put-out. He guessed he would be too if he was being given this sadly unhelpful information.

“Nothing. I’ve made a log of when they go out, but it just seems to be oh whims and such. They seem to just be walking around the city, mostly shopping or visiting the park. Normal things people do on their days off.”

“They’re too good just to be doing that; too careful. Find a pattern. You have three days; then I need you back here. We’ve got something big going on.”

“Yes ma’am,” Sam replied and sat up. “May I ask the nature of it?”

“No. You have your orders. Everything else is a need-to-know basis.”

“Yes ma’am,” he said in a serious tone. “Three days. I’ll find it.”

“Hope you do. For all our sakes and yours,” she muttered and hung up.

Same did so as well and then rubbed his face. “It was so much easier jumping from planes and rescuing people.”

“Why did you leave it?” Valerie asked as she checked the other monitors for any suspicious activity.

“Pay,” he lied. She didn’t know any better. She was still too young to understand some things, even being a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent she was still too green.

She just nodded and replied, “They do have very good benefits. I imagine better ones than the Air Force.”

Wilson looked at her for a moment. “Why’d you join?”

She was silent for a while. He could see the barest shift under the surface. He supposed Alisande must have taught her that trick. Good, she needed to keep some things secret. “The benefits,” she lied. He knew better though, her tone was a little too bitter and emotionless for it to be the truth.

“Do you mind if I ask what you did before S.H.I.E.L.D.?”

“Yes,” she replied a little too tightly.

He nodded and backed off. “I apologise. I forget sometimes people in action aren’t like the people in the basement. We sit around doing paperwork and shoot down at the range on breaks. People down there are either starting out or retired active duty agents: people who have either seen too much of the world or too little of it.”

“It must be a little maddening,” she said quietly and wrote down something in shorthand she observed on the middle screen, “being stuck between and around people who are green and so ready to take on the world, and those who are ready to leave its corrupted existence and their past failures behind.”

He watched her work for a bit. “I didn’t mean to upset you,” he apologised.

“You didn’t upset me Commander Wilson,” she said honestly and looked at him. “It takes a bit more than that to upset me. And I promise, when I’m upset, you’ll know.”

She didn’t say it in a hostile manner; it was simply a blatant fact. It sounded as though she’d just told him that the sky was blue or that fish swam in water and the Earth was round.

Sam looked back to the screens. “When night falls, I’ll put on the pack and sweep the area.”

“I don’t think they’ll be leaving the mansion tonight, sir,” she said. “It seems their big hoorah was yesterday. I imagine they’ll take the night for themselves.”

“Still…then I can place some surveillance pieces around the city that can track them in greater detail when they go out. We have to find a pattern, and fast.”

“Should I order someone to set some up in the subway lines, sir?”

“We’ve already got those covered. Since before the invasion of New York actually,”

She glanced at him. “May I ask what for, sir?”

“Some gangs have been known to use them for personal means. And you can call me Sam. Leave the formalities for bases, reports, and in front of others.”

Valerie nodded, “As you wish, si–…Sam.”

He smiled at her and then returned his attention to the screens. “What’s that in the front?” he asked squinting his eyes as he studied the monitor.

Valerie punched a few buttons to zoom it in. “It appears S. Rogers and R. Banner are moving something.” She hurried to write it down.

“Something important?”

Valerie looked at it and then zoomed in a bit more. They watched as the two set it down and began speaking. She turned something up and they listened to the conversation.

_“I know I’ve woken up Natasha dozens of times from them and gotten a blow to the face or had to take a knife from her hand. I learned always to check under her pillows and the mattress for weapons before waking her. And besides, I have them too. Everyone reacts to stress differently.”_

_“Yeah well you all don’t blow up into a massive monster that destroys everything in its path,_

_“Doesn’t matter what anyone turns into; if they need help we help them. That’s what friends are for.”_

Valerie quickly jotted their words down in shorthand and recorded the time in the manual log.

“Add a side note for Hill,” Sam instructed. “Banner’s weakness is his strength.”

\-------------------------------------------------

“Whew!” Clint cheered as the next set of movies were brought before them to be reviewed and decided upon. They had spent the past few hours snacking and watching a few classics. Loki handed him another glass of wine before he sat next to him. “Thank you,” he said with a bright smile on his face.

“Not at all,” he replied with a small one of his own. Clint leaned in and kissed him. Loki’s smile widened.

“Okay, next we have…” Steve looked at the ones on the coffee table. “Um… _Rosemary’s Baby_ , _Children of the Corn_ , _Dracula_ , _Poltergeist_ , _Dracula 2000_ , and…. _Human Centipede_ ,” he finished making at face at the cover.

“Who the fuck put _Human Centiped_ e in the pile?” Clint called out and then looked at Natasha.

“Don’t you dare turn your judgey eyes on me; you know damn well I put _Dracula_ in that pile,” she said and sat on the armrest of the couch next to him.

“Yeah Gary Oldman…” he said as he considered it.

“Yeah…” she said with a smile. They both sighed in a dreamy manner.

Loki raised a brow at the archer as he stared at him. He looked at the god knowing he was caught. “You’ll see what we mean,” he said innocently.

“A huh,” Loki replied tight-lipped and serious.

“I vote _Dracula_ ,” said Clint looking around for help to get out of the hole he’d dug himself.

“Same,” Natasha said.

“Anything is fine,” Loki replied yet again in reference to the movie selection.

“ _Dracula_ ,” Bruce voted.

“Don’t care,” Fury answered leaning back comfortably in his chair.

“Okay, three ‘don’t minds’ and three positive votes. Someone flip?” Steve said.

Natasha pulled out a coin and flipped it. “Call it.”

“Head!” Clint called and then muttered, “Like what I wish I could give Oldman.” He took a drink of his wine and looked around innocently.

“You and me both,” Natasha whispered and caught the coin before slapping it onto the back of her other hand. She held it out without looking. Clint sat up eagerly to try and catch a peek as Steve looked.

“Tails,” Steve said.

Natasha tossed the coin up into the air, hit Clint upside the head, and caught it without missing a beat. “Tails never fails Clinton Francis!” she hissed.

He rubbed the back of his head and sadly whined, “I always forget until after I call. I’m sorry!”

“Wait your middle name is Francis?” Banner asked a bit shocked.

“This shouldn’t be a surprise; we all have files on one another. We literally know everything about one another, with the exception of Thor and Loki.”

“Middle names are not a thing Asgardians practice,” Loki stated. “Elves, yes, but they take them later in life upon their own choosing.”

“Interesting,” Banner mused.

“Okay so _Dracula_ ’s back on the table. What else?”

“ _Dracula 2000_ ,” the two assassins said in unison.

“Anyone object?”

“No,” Banner said leaning back.

“Nope,” said Fury shaking his head slowly.

Loki shook his head.

“Hello?” Phil’s voice called from the main hall.

“In here!” the others called back.

He popped his head around the corner. “Hey! Hope we haven’t missed too much?”

“Not at all,” Steven said honestly. “Just a couple of movies and some pizza, but everything is buffet style so eat as you will.”

“Great, um, well I need to borrow Natasha and Dr. Banner for a minute or two. Is that fine?”

“Yeah,” Bruce said getting up. He rubbed his hands together and followed him out with Natasha on his heels.

“Okay,” Steve said and opened the DVD case.

“We can’t start that movie without her, she’ll never forgive us,” Clint said.

“Why?” Rogers asked.

“Because Gerard Butler, that’s why.”

Loki narrowed his eyes as he stared very hard at Clint.

The archer noticed and tried defending himself. “Look he’s hot! You’ll see and know you can’t deny it either! Just trust me when I say this.”

“I don’t think it’s a trust issue,” Fury pointed out.

Clint shot him a glare and then turned to Loki. “Baby, I promise you, once you see him you will understand.” He took one of Loki’s hands and pressed kisses to it. “You won’t regret jumping aboard the USS Butler.”

“I don’t understand the last part of what you just said, however I feel as though I should be upset,” Loki said pulling his hand back to see how far he could mess with Clint.

“Loki,” Clint whined and dropped his face into the god’s shoulder.

He smiled and crossed his arms in victory.

\-------------------------------------------------

“We need to use the lab,” Phil said.

Banner made a face. “Right this moment?”

“Probably,” Natasha said flatly and then crossed her arms at almost the same time Phil did. “Why, what have you got down there you don’t want to share?”

“Nothing,” Banner said too quickly. “It’s just…Tony made it very clear –”

“I’m sure he’ll let this slide. It’s important; the lives of people are at risk,” Phil said as gently as he could. “I messed up and I hope they’re not paying for it right this moment.”

Banner nodded. “Give me five minutes before coming in. Tony has some personal things and I promised.” They both nodded. “Thank you,” he said and hurried off.

She looked around. “Where is Thor?”

“I told him,” Phil said softly. “He’s kept his distance from me.”

She set a hand on his shoulder. “Did he let you explain it all?”

“Yes, and hearing it come out of my mouth sounded stupider than hearing it in my head.”

“It was a good reason, we had a lot of things to work out and –”

“I know, I know,” he gently interrupted and then rubbed at his face. “I just…I never wanted…” he sighed heavily and shook his head. “You can’t please everyone. My mother reminds me of that often.”

“How is she?” she asked highly curious still over the fact Phil still had a living relative.

His face fell even more. “She’s…not good.”

Natasha gave him a small hug. “I’m sorry to hear that.”

“It’s fine, she’s old, it’s…it’s understandable.”

“You both may enter the lab now,” JARVIS announced.

\-------------------------------------------------

“Something tells me this ‘minute or two’ has turned into a science experiment,” Clint sighed heavily.

“Should we start something else?” Steve asked.

“Yes,” Clint said. “Poltergeist, go, please.”

“Done,” Steven said and put the DVD in.

Clint chuckled manically to himself and drank some of his wine.

“I hate when you and Natasha start laughing for no reason,” the solider sighed heavily and sat down. “It never means anything good.”

“Not for you, but for us it’s great,”

Loki didn’t really enjoy the results and was sure Steven felt the same way.

\-------------------------------------------------

“So?” Phil asked.

“Whoever made this is clever,” Bruce decided. “But if you were wondering, no, it’s not a bomb. It’s just a decoy.”

Phil didn’t know if he should sigh with joy or frustration.

“What does that mean?” Thor frowned deeply. He had come down to the lab not too long after they had been cleared to come in. All that remained was a table with the experiments Banner was doing with the enzyme, the table he was working on now, and a well-used cot in the corner. Natasha had looked the whole room over, her face blank yet her eyes showed her suspicions pilling up.

“It means they know they’re being followed and they’re either laying these to confuse whoever they think is behind them or helping them. Three guesses, this one is to confuse.”

“This was linked with the former patterns I’d been decoding,” Phil said. “Why would they do this all of a sudden? Before, it seemed as though they were trying to have us find them, why change now?”

“We’re not the only ones following them,” Natasha reminded. “With Tony and Pepper safe in Malibu and us untouchable here, they’re the next go-tos in hopes for answers about New York and the Tesseract. Loki’s been worried about it, because although Selvig was cleared and proven to have no knowledge of his time under the sceptre’s influence, those memories can still be tapped into and he was exposed directly to almost all of the information about the Cube. S.H.I.E.L.D. wouldn’t even have to pull out the big guns to break him. His mind is still highly fragile.”

“And Jane is very strong, but I think her heart is too gentle to endure torture for long,” Thor proclaimed.

“They wouldn’t torture her outright; they’d play upon her empathy and torture Selvig or Lewis and make her watch,” Phil admitted. Thor winced and turned away, trying to keep his anger inside.

“Do we know if they have them or not?” Banner asked.

“No,” Phil shook his head. “There are several more points, but they showed up all at once and there hasn’t been anything new for a very long time.”

“How long ago?”

“Twenty-ninth. That’s when this one showed up,” Phil said pointing to the Styrofoam cup with the opened Tamagotchi with a pixilated poop blob on the front blinking at them. “It’s like the next morning a switch was flipped and _bam_ ; all of these points just appreared.”

“It means they know they’re being followed and they’re running out of time,” Natasha concluded.

“God, I’m sorry, Thor,” Phil said again. “I thought for sure this was it, and I know I’ve said that before –”

“I understand your motives behind your actions,” said Thor cutting him off as he held up a hand to stop him. “However in the future, Agent Coulson, I would very much appreciate it if you would consult me on the matter, instead of deciding what may be my best interest without me. I am over forty-two-hundred years old; I believe I am able to make those choices for myself.”

Phil nodded. “Yes, of course Thor. I meant no disrespect.”

“It had nothing to do with respect, it had to do with trust,” he said firmly and with profound honesty. He gave him a look that spoke of disappointment and hurt before leaving without another word or glance to anyone.

Phil closed his eyes. “I screwed this one up.”

“Eh,” Natasha reasoned. “You haven’t screwed something up in a long time and at least you haven’t been smashed or electrocuted.

“Fair point,”

Banner handed Phil back the beacon and patted his shoulder. “I believe in you.”

“Thanks,” he said, but they could see his hope was failing.

“Come on,” Natasha said and started leading them toward the stairs. “Beers for all.”

\-------------------------------------------------

When the movie was over, Natasha decided it was time to liven things up. They moved to the kitchen and ate more while playing several hands of cards. Everyone discovered Fury was an Uno master; Candyland entertained for two rounds; Monopoly got so far as to explain the rules to Thor, who was trying his best to stay enjoyable around his friends, yet couldn’t retain the information very well due to his personal worries and distractions; so Natasha broke out the Vodka and Jenga. This proved a much better result.

“Don’t!” Clint hissed and ran his hands down his face as he watched Phil push a tricky brick out. The tower teetered and everyone held their breath. It stilled and he put the piece at the top. They all relaxed and took a drink.

Clint took a shot as well and shook his head. _You’re going to have to play for me soon._

Loki smirked. _Having trouble holding your liquor?_

 _Hell yeah,_ he admitted. They looked at one another and then laughed.

_Well do not lose yourself, we still have tonight._

Clint looked at him suspiciously. _Yeah…about that…_

“Tasha, I believe it is your turn,” Loki said and drank from his wine avoiding the archer’s questioning stare.

She took a moment to study it before she pointed a block out. Steve carefully tapped it out and set it on top without it moving much. “Clint?”

Clint patted Loki’s arm and then pointed to the thing. He looked at him and then back at the tower. “Yep,” he said with a simple nod. Loki stared at him flabbergasted.

“Are you drunk?” Natasha asked a bit shocked.

“Yep,” he said and then started laughing. “Oh my god, I haven’t drunk this been in such a long whale – while!”

They all started laughing at him. He put his head down on the table for a moment.

“It’s not even four in the evening!” Natasha exclaimed still shocked.

“I know…” he said sadly and rubbed at his face.

“I’ll get you some coffee and another slice of pizza,” she said getting up.

Loki chuckled and gave the archer’s cheek a supportive kiss before selecting a piece. He set it on top. The tower swayed a bit and then stilled, but he didn’t panic about it; he knew it was sound enough. “Dr. Banner?” he said turning to look at him.

“I really hate this game,” he sighed and took a few minutes to select a piece.

Natasha brought a large cup of coffee before him. “Is this chocolate peppermint creamer?” Clint asked after taking a sip.

“Yes, you’re welcome,” she smiled and went to grab a piece of pizza for him.

“I love you so much right now,” he said cradling the mug to him with a goofy happy smile.

“Yeah, wait until you eat this,” she said and set a plate piled with several slices before him.

“Someone call God, there is a Saint missing from Heaven,” he loudly declared before taking on the pizza.

“I need more wine,” Loki said and took Clint’s beer on his way to the counter so he wouldn’t be tempted further.

“Don’t worry,” Natasha whispered to him once they were far enough away from the others. “He’ll eat that, drink the coffee and then pass out for an hour or so and be sober again.”

Loki gave a heavy sigh of relief. “Excellent, because I was worried I’d have to post-pone it again and I don’t think I can stand the waiting.”

“Post-bone what?” Clint asked with a mouth full of pizza as he came up behind them.

“Don’t get it on your costume or you’ll be upset,” Natasha said in a maternal tone as she turned him around and helped him back to his seat.

“I want my beer!” he whined pathetically as she shooed him into the chair.

“Coffee is better,” she said in a tone that suggested it was much more scrumptious than what it really was. He gave her a very childish pout.

Banner ended up knocking over the tower. Everyone around the table awed and gave their sympathetic remarks. Bruce took the untapped bottle of vodka and cheered with Thor, his teammate, before they started chugging.

“We’re going to have to introduce these two to Moonshine,” Phil laughed.

“Oh no!” Clint groaned. “That shit is the devil!”

“Jungle juice is the devil,” Natasha reminded him. “Moonshine is just it’s bastard beautiful brother.”

“Truth,” he agreed. “They bottled sexy, gave it flavour, and classed it up with fruit. It’s like a hundred and ninety percent evil and ten percent good idea.”

“Until the next morning,”

“Then it’s two-hundred percent death,” he took a large bite of pizza and nodded. “Maybe one-ninety-five with a five percent chance of hope for forgiveness and mercy.”

Bruce set the empty bottle down and belched. “Sorry,” he panted and belched once more, this time into his hand, as Thor set his down and did the same thing. “And I agree. It’s awful, and regardless if the Big Guy will let me feel it’s effects or not, I’ll never touch it again.”

“Peach cobbler?” Clint asked sympathetically.

He shook his head, “Apple pie.”

“Oh I love apple pie!” Natasha said.

“It tastes like what I imagine Captain America to taste like. Oh shit,” Clint slapped a hand to his face. “I forgot I live with you now and can’t say those things,” he whispered highly embarrassed at having confessed such a thing.

Everyone chuckled as the archers face turned red.

“It’s okay, he described peach cobbler as the thing Sarah ate in order to hallucinate about the goblin ball,” Romanoff added.

“It tastes like making out with the goblin king and it’s beautiful; but the next morning I was on my knees facing the bog of eternal stench,” he groaned miserably.

“It was rough,” she agreed and gently patted his back.

Loki got Clint a tall glass of water just in case he asked for it. After another two slices of pizza he did and happily drank it down, before passing out a quarter of a way through Yahtzee. Thor sat back and watched them play it. Natasha was in the lead, Banner not far behind, and Fury close on his heels.

“I should put him on a couch,” Loki said looking Clint’s sleeping face over. He brushed some of his hair back from his face. “He’ll be more comfortable.”

“Yes, and much less irritable when he wakes up,” Phil agreed. “I’ll help.”

“I wouldn’t take you from the game. I am not winning, and there are several of you ahead of my next turn. Skip me and I’ll make the roll up later.” He got up and then carefully lifted Clint into his arms and carried him to the couch. There he laid him out and covered him with a blanket.

Natasha entered holding two glasses of water. “For when Sleeping Beauty awakens,” she smiled holding them out.

“I don’t understand the reference, so you’ll have to explain it,” he said returning the grin and set them on the coffee table.

“Gladly, and that’s the first thing we watch next movie night.” She set her watch. “Wanna bet on how long it’ll take?”

Loki chuckled. “I don’t think it will be fair considering I can feel how he’s doing.”

“Fair enough. Want to give me a few pointers so I can weasel some money out of Fury? It’s been a long time since I’ve won something against him.”

Loki considered it. “What’s the profit split?”

“Fifty-fifty, we’re friends,” she said in a voice that screamed ‘duh-wasn’t-that-obvious?’.

Loki nodded and held out his arm to escort her, “Hour and forty-seven minutes.”

She smiled and took it. “Let’s get some shopping money.”

\-------------------------------------------------

 _It was Selvig with the Tesseract at Stark Tower._ Darcy said in her head as she drove down the road after the trailer. She worried her lip as she thought about the message: _Seven days._ Seven days what? Until some freaky child came out of the TV and killed them? Until Thor showed up? That was if _he_ was the one who sent the message. If not then…

That thought made her sick to her stomach and she yawned fighting to stay awake. She could barely sleep, and what little sleep she did have wasn’t great. It was worse than what it had been before and oh how she longed for those days long gone by. Okay, it was like two days ago, but she felt like it was forty-seven billion days ago.

“Are you okay?” Jane asked.

“Yeah, why?” she replied and forced herself not to yawn again.

“You just look…exhausted.”

“I’m fine,” she said with a chipper smile.

Jane sighed. “I know you’re not…but I appreciate you sticking with us.”

“I mean,” she shrugged growing serious, “where else do I go? My parents know I’m with you both, and S.H.I.E.L.D. threw out Erik’s name in not the best way on live national – maybe even international – news, so…besides,” she said picking her smile back up, “I like being with you both.”

Jane put a hand on her shoulder as she gave her a grateful smile.

Darcy smiled, for real this time, back at her.

The message on the screen played over in her mind. _Seven days_ …

She looked back at the road and tightened her grip on the wheel a bit. Something about that message just didn’t sit well with her at all and she hated keeping it from Jane.

\-------------------------------------------------

“There he is!” they cheered as Clint returned to the party.

He rubbed at his face with a groan.

“Time?” Phil asked.

“And hour and forty-seven on the dot,” Banner stated looking at his watch.

“Let me see that,” Fury hissed reaching for the scientist’s wrist and glared at Natasha. He coldly looked between her smirking face and the watch before finally giving a heavy sigh and forked over fifteen hundred in cash from his wallet.

“Thank you,” she said and exchanged a fifty from a wad of cash in her bra. She split the money evenly between her and Loki.

“Wait a minute!” Fury snapped. “I thought this was just between us?”

“No,” she shook her head. “Why do you think I under-charged you for the bet?”

“Undercharged me!?” he gasped sitting up completely baffled. “Undercharged _me_!? What the mother fuck do you mean you _under_ charged me!?”

“Normally my base betting charge is three grand. I only asked for half so we wouldn’t rob you dry.”

“Rob me dry?” he barked. “Oh now hell I’m just insulted, one word after another. Can’t you just leave a poor old man alone?”

“I did mention that I only asked for half so that I didn’t take all of his money, right?” she asked looking around.

“Yeah,” Clint said and rotated a shoulder before stretching it out across his chest. “My concern is: why is he carrying that much money around, and how did he manage to fit that many hundred dollar bills in –?”

“I’m done playing,” Fury said putting his cards down. “Fold.”

Banner shook his head. “I’m out.”

Phil set his down, “Yeah I’ve got nothing.”

“Read ‘em,” Natasha said proudly showing hers: Queen of Spades, two of Clubs, three of Diamonds, five of Clubs, and a six of Spades. There was a collective groan and she beamed proudly; “Queen high!”

“Fuck!” Fury said and flipped his over. “I had four of a kind with Kings and an Ace!” The losers started bickering and whining about their lot.

“I’ll have to put tissues on the grocery list, because all I hear are a bunch of babies,” Natasha said innocently smug.

“Hey now,” Banner warned.

“Okay, a few babies and a toddler,” she waved her hand dismissively as she pulled the giant stack of one dollar bills close to her. “These are gonna buy mama a pair of shoes for Thanksgiving!”

“I’m going to mentally add this game to the list of bullshit I will never let you talk me into playing again,” Fury concluded as he gathered the cards. “At least with Romanoff. Now I know why the guys started an underground underground poker ring.”

“Wait they started an underground ring of an already underground ring just because they suck and lost to me?” she asked a bit surprised.

“Yep,” Phil nodded.

“Hey Fury, want to trade a few of your magic wallet a hundreds for her ones?” Clint joked. Fury shot him the darkest of his looks. Clint chuckled, very immune to such a look after many years of doing things to merit it, and sat down next to Loki. He laid his head on the god’s arm.

Loki smiled down at him. “Did you find the water?”

“Both are dead,” he replied. “Downed them before I even knew what was happening.”

“Good.”

“I need more food,” Clint whispered and got up to get a caramel apple.

“Well if we’re all done with games we can go back to watching movies or pass out goodies and call it a night?” Steven asked.

“I have no other plans,” Banner said with a shrug.

“Some others do,” Natasha said exchanging a quick look with Loki.

“I fear I am not feeling well,” Thor announced and rose. “I should take my leave soon,” he said and gathered his plate and empty vodka bottles.

“You can leave the bottles beside the sink,” Natasha said and ate some chips.

“I’ll get the bags,” Steve said hurrying into the living room. He returned with small goodie bags, much different than the ones they’d made for the children. “Here, Thor. Happy Halloween.”

“Happy Halloween,” he nodded taking it. “Thank you very much, friend.”

“Not at all. Things are so different from what I remember them to be.” He sighed. A small shadow passed over his face before he cleared his throat and hurried to give the others one.

They were filled with three large candy bars, a gift card, a little holiday gag toy, and a beautiful silver “A” pin.

“The pins are from Pepper and Tony,” Steve explained.

Everyone expressed their gratitude. Thor waved good night and left. Loki felt as though he should say something to him, yet he could not think of anything and decided it was best if he didn’t. Thor gave him space the other day when he needed it; it was only fair if he did the same.

“Oh,” Natasha said and hurried to the counter to get a small piece of paper and a pencil. “We started this while you were asleep, so now you can cast your vote,” she explained and gave the items to Clint.

“Vote for what?” he asked with a large bite of apple in his mouth.

“The pumpkins, of course,” she sighed and rolled her eyes.

“But there are only –”

“Do it for Steve,” she hissed.

He sighed and wrote down Loki’s name before folding it. He gave it to her and she put it into a jar with several other slips of paper. “Aren’t pumpkin contests a bit…I don’t know…old-fashioned and odd?” he muttered licking some chocolate from off of his thumb.

“Not at all, I think it promotes a sense of community,” Phil said, “Besides a little competition is good.”

“Well don’t cry when Loki’s wins,” Clint warned.

“Why would mine win?” Loki asked as he carefully repacked his gift bag.

“Well between the two of us we have at least two votes,” Clint reasoned.

Loki chuckled highly amused, “I did not vote for my own.”

“What?” Clint barked.

Natasha held the jar out to Banner. “Would you care to do the honours?”

“Why not?” he said and began tallying them.

“Who did you vote for?” Clint hissed.

“It violates the purpose of anonymous voting,” Loki replied.

 _Who did you vote for?_ Clint asked again.

“Clinton, I’m not telling you,” he laughed.

“We have four pumpkins, eight votes, and the winner is…” Banner began.

Phil, Steve, and Clint did a drum roll on the table.

“Loki, Loki, Loki, Loki, Loki,” Clint whispered under his breath.

Banner held up his hands for silence and received it. “In third place, Natasha and Steve’s; Second Loki’s; and first Thor’s.”

“He’ll be happy to hear that,” Phil laughed.

“Damn, neither of us voted for us?” Fury asked his friend.

“No, I thought Loki’s pumpkin was a great modern twist on the traditional approach,” Phil admitted.

“I did love your Captain America symbol,” Steve complimented. “But I think Thor overcoming his disgust for the de-gutting part and making the shapes very clean should be commended.”

“Agreed,” Banner nodded.

“His face was priceless,” Natasha laughed. “I was watching the kitchen security footage. Priceless! I’m going to send a copy to Pepper, she’ll appreciate it.”

Clint looked at Loki a bit putout. _Are you upset at this?_

 _Why would I be?_ he inquired a bit surprised.

 _I don’t know…_ he said honestly and shrugged.

Loki put his arms around Clint’s neck and gave his nose a small kiss. _I’ll have victory later…_

“About that…” he began again and Loki smiled and rose, taking their finished dishes to put away.

“Movie?” Steve asked.

The others agreed and moved to the living room. Loki and Clint sat near the door, for Clint could sense Loki’s secretive time was coming to an end, and at the first sign of a break he was going to push until he got it out of him.

They started watching _Dracula 2000_. Loki found the whole movie very odd, yet understood why Clint and Natasha were attracted to the villain. He did not fully understand the references that seemed to repel and, in turn, seemed to have caused Dracula’s demise into the dark lifestyle, but he figured he’d delve into that history upon a later date. The sex scene was pretty interesting as well.

Loki crossed his legs and carefully went over the plan one more time in his mind. He was started to grow nervous it wouldn’t be received well, or worse, he’d trip! Natasha’s voice echoed in his mind of how everything would be fine and he just had to relax. Regardless of what happened Clint would appreciate it. Said archer must have noticed his inner struggle for confidence, for he glanced at him and began asking questions again. Loki smiled and looked at him finally.

_Have you reached your end of waiting?_

_I need to know before I die of curiosity,_ he said very seriously and finished the last bite to his apple.

 _I’ve read curiosity killed a cat_ ,

_But satisfaction brought it back._

Loki chuckled and sighed at a private joke. Clint narrowed his eyes at him trying to figure out what was going through his mind. The god waved his hand away and then finally gave in. _Very well,_ he sighed and rose from his seat. “Sorry to interrupt the movie, I woke early and fear I have exhausted myself.”

Everyone expressed his excuses and apologises weren’t needed, they understood. Loki nodded and they all bid one another good night. Clint didn’t like the way Natasha was smiling at them. She was in on it, and whatever it was couldn’t have been a hundred percent good. Maybe.

They went upstairs: Clint nearly bouncing off the walls as he tried keeping it together, knowing that whatever it was surely involved the bedroom; and Loki calmly ambled along behind him as though he were going on a pleasant stroll through a park. It all was driving Clint crazy!

They went in and Clint shut the door. He turned ready to kiss the god but found him already stepping into the bathroom.

“Alright,” he smiled and went after him. Loki smirked deviously and then closed the doors. “Hey wait!” he called and tapped on them. The lock clicked shut. “Whoa…this isn’t what –”

“In the closet,” Loki said from behind the door. “Bottom drawer there is something for you. Please get it, wouldn’t you, dear?”

Clint sighed and went to get it. _It_ happened to be a very tiny pair of metallic golden panties. Nothing else, Clint checked and rechecked the giant empty drawer and then sighed heavily. What was going on? “Hey I got them,” he called coming out of the closet.

“Put them on,” he instructed. From the sounds and smell of it, he was using a hairstyling instrument.

“What?” Clint said leaning against the wall near the doors.

“Do it,”

Clint sighed heavily and took his clothes off. What was going on? Why did he have to put this stupid little thing on? It hit him then. It was something kinky. Oh he liked kinky, a lot. But what could be so sexy about a simple pair of metallic underpants? They were fairly plain, apart from their shiny exterior, and covered him pretty well. He sat on the bed and waited; wracking his brain all the while thinking of what the god was doing behind those doors. The waiting and excitement of it all sort of got to him, and he found he was already starting to grow aroused.

The door unlocked and he looked up. His heart stopped in his chest.

“Holy shit,” he whispered as his eyes went wide.

Loki’s hair was curled and puffed out around his head; his make-up was smoky grey and black; his eyebrows were drawn elegantly in; his face was pale and smooth; his lips full shiny and deep red; and he was taller than normal, some sort of heels poked out under the long black cape he held tightly around him. He opened his mouth as thought say something and paused. His face tinted pink yet he cleared his throat and carried on. “Jarvis?” he said finally.

Music began playing softly and Clint slid off the bed onto his knees, faking a scream. _Sweet Transvestite_ met his ears and if he thought he had been excited and aroused before, he was beyond that point now. He had ascended to a level he was not aware existed until that moment and it was a beautiful glorious experience. Loki waited and then before the chorus he flipped the cape off in the same fashion Dr. Frank-n-Furter had done in the movie. Clint went to his hands and knees and crawled over to the god, who seemed to have flourished with confidence upon seeing Clint’s reaction.

He was indeed in a costume almost identical to the one people had worn or made for ages after the character. His heels and necklace were a bit different and he was actually in a real corset, but Clint didn’t mind. He started kissing his feet, from the tip of his shoe up. He got to about his ankle on one foot before the god walked over toward the table and popped himself upon it. Clint followed slowly behind, groaning all the while as he watched the way Loki’s hips swayed. He bit his lip as those long pale legs crossed together; so elegant…and how the fishnet stockings flexed upon them.

Clint groaned and continued to kiss up his legs, slowly, savouring the feel of his skin through the stockings; the taste of the metal clasp from the garter belt; the silky texture of the panties as he buried his face into his groin and pressed kisses all over.

Metallic golden pants – oh how could he have missed _that_ key clue!?

Loki tried not to laugh out his nerves as each touch sent goose bumps racing along his body. Things were turning out much better than he expected, and a soft moan slipped out of him when he felt Clint bury his face in his groin area. He ran his fingers through Clint’s hair and gently tightened his grip to lean his face back just as the music was ending. He bent forward and whispered the last words against Clint’s lips as they happened and watched as the archer shivered and gripped Loki’s legs excitedly.

When the song had ended they stared at one another for a moment.

“Surprised?” Loki asked a bit shyly.

Clint kissed him and very seriously stated, “If you don’t fuck me in this outfit I’m going to be most upset at you.” He gave him a promising ‘not-messing-around’ look and then started kissing him again.

Loki moved him so that he could uncross his legs and Clint hurried to dive between them. Loki leaned back on one hand and watched as Clint sucked at his member through the black fabric of his panties. Clint looked up at him, purposely exhaling his hot breath against his stiffening length and then leaving the wet area to the mercy of the cold room. He kissed at Loki’s thighs and sac, gently rubbing his face over them.

His scratchy growing facial hair tickled Loki and he curled forward laughing. Clint smiled and licked his lips as he watched him. “You’re so beautiful,” he whispered.

“The same will always be said for you,” Loki replied brushing Clint’s bangs off to the side. “How far do you wish to take this?” he asked in a bit more serious of a tone.

Clint shrugged. “I’m up for full character to making it up or just us in costume being…us,” he smiled and kissed up one of Loki’s thighs, not stopping until he had to stand and then quickly resumed his journey up.

He pressed light kisses all around his face and neck. Loki laughed trying to move away from the ones that tickled the most. “Fine,” he said putting his hands on Clint’s shoulders and pulling back far enough that the archer’s mouth couldn’t easily get at him. “We shall just make it up as we go along?”

“Yeah,” he nodded with an excited grin, his hands moving to touch Loki’s back, feeling along the laces and metal boning. “This is laced up pretty tight, can you breathe alright?”

Loki nodded, “Corsets were all the rage in Asgard once.”

“For men?”

“Not particularly. It was during a time I chose to be female.”

“Yeah?” he asked curiously. “How’d that go?”

“It begot me a child,”

“Seems like you had a bit too much fun,” he wagged his brows and leaned forward. Loki chuckled and playfully hit his chest as he leaned with him, holding one hand out to help steady himself before his back touched the table.

“It was a very interesting time, I’ll admit. I can’t say I didn’t have its share of woes, but I don’t regret it.”

Clint hummed as he kissed down Loki’s front. The god sighed and brought his legs up a bit. The archer brought them around his head as he came back to the god’s erection. He dragged his tongue slowly up it and then rubbed his sac with a hand as he tongued his shaft. Loki moaned and slid a hand down his front, his fingers just stopping under the very edge of the elastic band; the fingers of his other hand ran through his hair.

“Does the good doctor like this?” Clint asked in a low tone.

Loki let out a breathy chuckle. “Yes…yes he does…”

“Did you have a preference for position?”

Loki looked down at him with a curiously arched eyebrow.

“Do you want to top or bottom?” he clarified and rubbed Loki through his panties.

The god swallowed and let one of his legs slip from Clint’s shoulders as he arched a bit off the table. “Either is fine.”

“Would you be tremendously upset if I selfishly asked to bottom?”

“Why would that be selfish?”

Clint shrugged. “I figured this was kind of your planned thing, I don’t want to mess anything up; especially if you had a certain idea of how the evening should play out or something.”

“To be very honest, I only planned everything up until the unveiling part.” They both laughed. Loki ran his fingers through Clint’s hair and brushed them down the side of his face. “Whatever position you decide on, do not think it selfish.”

“Well,” he sighed straightening a bit. “I know a lot of people figured Frank-n-Furter made Rocky so that he could use him for a top, but I personally think he’s the kind of person that plays both sides…but…” he said innocently and looked up at the ceiling. Loki smiled already knowing what he was about to say next, yet kept silent and enjoyed the angelic look upon the archer’s features. “I’ve always had this fantasy…” he looked down at the god waiting for his response.

“Shall we make it a reality for you?”

Clint beamed and excitedly kissed him, wrapping his arms around his middle. Loki wrapped his legs around Clint’s waist and held onto his arms as he was lifted into a sitting position. He wiggled to the edge of the table and set one leg down to help grind against the archer. Barton wasn’t having any of that so he grabbed the god’s leg up, letting his fingers slide along the back of his thigh, and rocked into him a little. Loki’s leg trembled and he held onto him tighter, resting their foreheads together as they softly gasped and switched into a deeper intimate level of arousal.

They stayed like that for a while, just moaning and grinding, occasionally indulging in a few kisses. One of Clint’s hands at the small of Loki’s back, the other holding his one leg up still; Loki’s fingers digging into his biceps or reaching quickly back to steady himself on the table.

Loki realised that neither of them had any desire for changing positions and would have been completely satisfied spending the evening rutting in such a manner, but he knew Clint had a desire he’d longed to fulfil and he honestly was thrilled over the idea of helping him do so. He could see snippets of the archer’s plan as he pondered in detail over it. Once enough of it seemed finalised, or when it seemed seeing the same scene playing out over and over again drove him insane with the need to replicate it, he pushed at him so that he could slide down off the table.

When standing, Loki had always been an inch or so taller than Clint and now with the heels he towered over him. He used that extra height to his advantage; tilting Clint’s head back and covering his throat in kisses, tugging on his hair a bit as he took charge, and finally holding him close against his body in a manner that forced Clint to cling to him. The last part had a greater effect over Barton, for he inhaled sharply and Loki could feel a tiny shiver run along his spine. His skin even broke into large goose bumps. Loki leaned over him more, dipping him a bit until Clint wrapped his arms around his shoulders and pulled him down to the floor.

They rolled so that Loki was flat on his back, one leg slipped between Clint’s so that he could raise his hips and rub himself against his thigh. Clint groaned and grabbed Loki’s hair before he started kissing him again. It was so soft and wonderful. His lipstick was starting to smear, but Clint didn’t care. He looked good with it that way too. He pulled back to admire it for a moment.

Loki flushed a bit and tried to fix it once he realised what Clint was staring at. “Are you pleased though?” he asked still a bit nervous.

“Yes,” he nodded and kissed him. “Christmas came early,” he whispered as he made his way down Loki’s throat.

The god laughed and then hummed as he rubbed his leg against Clint’s. The feel of his shoes and fishnets dragging along his body; the feel of their temperature rising; hitched breathes as they mouthed and tasted one another; the feel of their bodies tingling as they began to really rise to the occasion.

Loki slipped his hand into the archer’s pants and squeezed his rear; gently massaging it a bit before letting his fingers slip down between his cheeks. Clint let out a loud noise of content and held Loki’s face, staring deeply into his eyes as he felt his fingers grow cold and wet with the spell. Their teasing nature made his body twitch. He furrowed his brows and moaned for a little bit, letting Loki enjoy the sight of his face. He shifted to straddle his lap and ground his hips down into Loki’s. The god gently eased the tip of his finger in, his other hand still kneading Clint’s rear.

He was so tight Loki had to be extra careful with his beginning movements. Clint didn’t seem to want it that way, though Loki got his way in the end. Clint rubbed himself against Loki, trying to canter his hips to get his fingers deeper and, at first had met with little success. He had growled frustrated and kissed the god deeper, hoping that if his body wasn’t getting the message across then his kisses would. Loki had hummed and moved his hand between them so that he could get a better angle. Clint eventually leaned back a little and rode his fingers.

“Slow down,” Loki warned kindly and tried controlling his speed with a firm hand on his hip.

He made a monstrous impatient noise. “I can’t, it’s been so long…it feels good...” He moaned and let his head fall back. A spike of heat shot down him and his body jerked a little, fingers flexing into Loki’s chest for a moment as the intense wonderful moment passed. “I’ll owe you…please,” he whispered with just a hint of begging on the edge of his words.

“You already owe me,” Loki reminded with a smile.

“I’ll owe you _really_ big,” he panted.

“It will feel unpleasant,” Loki warned seriously.

“At first, I know, I’ve felt it before,” he reminded, ready to blindly charge forward if it meant being bent in two with the god nailing him to the wall.

Loki nodded and used some of his magic to help speed things along. Clint groaned and leaned forward, burying his face in Loki’s shoulder as his muscles where gently forced to relax. After a moment, and when the worst of the bizarre numbing prickling sensation had ebbed away, he began rocking back to meet his fingers faster now.

“Yes,” he whispered with a loud moan.

Loki let him indulge for a bit, taking his time to shower as much of him in kisses as he could, even going so far as to kiss along his armpit when he twisted his body to try and get the god’s fingers narrowed in on the right spot. He loved the taste of him and his smell. On anyone else the scent of sweaty odours from stress or sex would have put him off, but Clint’s brought on a hunger; something that fuelled his sexual urges and made him desire to be nearer to him.

“Loki,” Clint said kissing along his jaw quickly.

“Yes?” he whispered, tilting his head back and letting his eyes flutter closed for a moment.

“I’d hate to waste those heels…” he said almost innocently.

The god picked up on his meaning and remembered the last image that had gone through his head before they made it to the floor. He grinned and pulled his fingers back, keeping a hand on Clint to prevent him from moving with them. “Would be a pity…” he agreed. Clint’s noises of frustration and the sight of him nearly pulling at his hair in need for more only made him laugh. “Very well,” he sighed as though it were a chore. “Up you go,” he said removing his fingers and patting his rear.

Clint hurried to the bed and lay on his back. The god chuckled as he rose and then flipped him over. He leaned over him and held onto his throat. “I do believe I shall take it from here.”

“Am I still getting fucked?” he asked quickly.

Loki nodded slowly and let his lips trace over the shell of his ear. “Yes, oh yes.”

Clint hummed with a small shiver. “Then you can have me any way you want at this point, just keep that corset on.”

Loki laughed and straightened to look him over. He was nearly quivering with excitement as he lay before panting heavily, his face pink and ears red. Loki could see his pulse jumping when he turned his head to the side to watch him out of the corner of his eye.

He traced his fingers up Clint’s legs. They trembled. He let them glide over his sides and up his back toward his neck. He let them gently play down his neck then, each finger stroking from the base of his hairline to his shoulders; nails seeping out a bit to gently add to the mix.

Clint moaned and let his eyes flutter shut as his skin broke into goose bumps again. Loki cupped his rear and massaged it a bit before lowly slipping his hand in his pants. He wiggled his fingers toward his entrance. Clint went to move, but a firm hand on his back stopped him.

“I don’t think I can deal with teasing,” he moaned as Loki’s long fingers pushed into him. “Oh to the left…” he huffed and wiggled a bit.

Loki obliged. “I thought you gave me free reign to do with you as I pleased, so long as you were ‘fucked’ and I kept the corset on?”

“And the heels,” he added.

Loki chuckled amused. “Keep it up and I’ll make sure to find better uses for your mouth.”

“Do it,” Clint challenged and stuck out his tongue as he opened his mouth wide.

Loki ignored his offer, trying to focus on his actions rather than the reaction his body was having. He began moving his fingers faster. Clint tensed and gripped the bed groaning. Loki didn’t let up, letting his other hand run along the archer’s back and then finally giving his ass one firm, yet gentle, slap.

Clint groaned deeply and his eyes rolled into the top of his head. Loki didn’t let his victorious smirk leave his mouth. He pulled Clint’s golden underpants down his legs a little more and stuck his thumbs in his hole. He massaged it a bit and then pushed them in futher. The archer swallowed and bit at a few of his knuckles as an intense tingling sensation spread from his hole on out. It flooded his pelvic region and crawled along his spine in such a manner he had to flex his toes out and shudder in order to keep from exploding from it.

Loki gave his rear one gentle slap and tugged on him to roll over. Before Clint could even try to pull his legs up, Loki was already pushing them down and crawling over him. “Tsk tsk, gorgeous,” he whispered as he kissed up his neck and playfully bit at his earlobe. “Things won’t work without my key to unlock your pleasures.”

“Oh poetic penis references,” he bit his lip with a sigh, “Yes…”

Loki chuckled and continued to crawl up until he was nearly kneeling over the archer’s face. Clint smiled up at him and lifted his face to try and get at him. He managed to just flick his tongue against the fabric; nothing wet enough to reach through like he had before, but nothing that didn’t catch the god’s attention. Loki reached into his black silken panties and gripped himself. He sighed as he began stroking himself, rolling his hips a little; Clint still playfully tried to taste him. He brought his member into view once it was firmer and presented it to Clint. He widened his legs a bit to bring himself closer to his face.

Clint eagerly began licking and sucking at his underside, moaning all the while. Loki bounced it a little on his opened mouth before angling it out to run it along Clint’s tongue; his head brushing against the archer’s nose and lips when he closed his mouth to rewet his tongue. Loki leaned forward, resting one hand out to steady himself on the bed, and let himself slip between the archer’s lips. He bit back a groan as he set his other hand down and shifted his knees so that he could begin carefully thrusting into his mouth. Clint ran his hands eagerly over Loki’s thighs and moaned louder, using a hand to massage his sac or tease his inner thighs.

He felt Clint encourage him to move faster so he did. He went a little too fast and pushed franticly at the bedding to get up when he felt himself sink too deep. “Sorry!” he hissed and moved back quickly to see if he was alright.

“It’s fine,” Clint said with a small cough and then pulled Loki forward again; sucking on his balls for a bit.

“Oh Norns Clinton!” Loki whispered and buried his face in his hands. Clint’s hands roamed as much of the god’s body as he could get at, even brushing his fingertips along Loki’s calf. This all brought forth delicious moans as the god tried very hard to not start aggressively thrusting into Clint’s mouth with need.

Loki moved back more and held the archer’s face. Clint relaxed his head back against the mattress and Loki began moving his head in and out of his mouth with slow care. “Do you like that?” he asked; his face heating up in embarrassment as his courage and self-confidence, involving the small talk, turned to dust around him.

Clint ‘mhm’ed and popped the tip of his length out from between his lips to spend a little bit of time just letting it run along his tongue. The sight of him with his mouth opened, face wet, tongue eagerly moving against him, his mouth closing to gently kiss or suck at him – Loki was in awe of how generous the universe was to give him Clint.

Barton loved to see him in such a state and he decided they both had waited long enough. He began sucking at him again; in particular he sought out the thick vein that would speed up the god’s arousal. It ran along one side, starting at the top part of his member, flowing down in a wave and curved back toward top part. Now that Clint thought about it, there was an almost identical vein on the other side, only it never bulged out as much as the first. He wondered then if they were even actual blood vessels and not cleverly disguised birthlines.

He’d have to ponder on it later; right at that moment Loki was putting his erection back into his mouth and started thrusting, much slower this time, into it again. He swore and grabbed Clint’s hair as he rolled his hips forward. He paused, remembering himself and quickly asked, letting him go, “Not too much?”

He moaned and dragged his length along his cheek. “Perfect, keep it up.”

Loki laughed some of his nervous away and then continued where he had been before, alternating fucking his mouth for a bit and running it just over his lips and tongue.

“Are you going to punish me?” Clint asked enthusiastically and looked up at him with wide falsely-innocent blue eyes.

“Yes,” Loki whispered and then firmed his voice. “Thought you’d get off easily?” Clint moaned and nodded, wagging his eyebrows a bit. Loki smirked, holding down his affectionate laugh at his behaviour. “Thought I’d give your punishment slow and…gentle? Well, my dearest,” he cleared his throat quickly, “creation, there you are _wrong_.” His voice lowered on the last word and he exhaled heavily, running his fingers through his hair to get the unruly bits back for a while.

“Wrong?” Clint dramatically gasped. “Whatever do you mean _doctor_?”

They both laughed at how ridiculous they sounded yet didn’t stop; they were having too much fun, regardless how silly they felt. “Well my precious,” he said grabbing Clint’s chin as he pulled his member away from his temping and wonderful lips. “You need to be punished for your insolence.”

“Yes, I’ve been _bad_ ,” he whispered squirming a little in excitement.

Loki smiled. “Know how I’m going to give it to you?”

“Do tell,” he grinned.

Loki realised he couldn’t use his normal tactic of seductively whispering it in his ear, so he opted to keep a firm grip on his mouth and rocked his hips slowly forward, drawing his length along Clint’s opened mouth again. “Hard,” he began, and tried impersonating Tim Curry’s voice to the best of his abilities. Clint moaned excited. “I’m going to fuck you…fast.” Clint moaned again, his legs coming up a little as a thrill ran through him. “I’m going to fuck you deeply,” – another moan, this time louder – “and roughly,” – a needy groan – “but it will be the most tender, and by far the sweetest, touch you’ll ever have.” He put himself back in Clint’s mouth and gathered the archer’s hands to pin them above his head as he began moving in and out of his mouth at a faster pace than before.

Clint moaned and relaxed his throat as best as he could. Loki couldn’t really push himself very deep without accidentally choking Clint again, so he controlled himself and made the most of the depth he could get. He’d have him that way another time. Clint groaned as the thought drifted at the edge of his mind.

Loki pulled himself back and then shifted up a little more and let Clint rub his face and tongue all over his sac. He groaned and stroked himself as Clint sucked his balls.

“Master,” Clint moaned. Loki wasn’t a hundred percent certain he liked being called that. He was in the middle of a serious internal debate on whether or not to bring it up when Clint corrected himself. “Loki…” he said gently, getting his attention. “Dr. Frank-n-Furter,” he whispered and ran his hands up the sides of Loki’s legs.

Loki shifted a bit to get a better look at him. “Y-yes?” he asked a little shaky.

Clint sent him an image. It was a brief flash of sweaty bodies, the bed rocking wildly, and loud cries of pleasure, but it got across his desires loud and clear. The final goal Loki was to aim for in order to fulfil Clint’s fantasy. “I need you…” he whispered and licked his lips slowly.

Loki hurried off of him to the edge of the bed. He pushed Clint’s legs up to his chest and stroked along his length to coat himself well with the lubricant. He pulled a little at Clint so his rear would hang more over the edge of the bed, and after they had shifted into the position he desired, he carefully pushed in.

They both tensed a little and exhaled slowly. Clint wet his lips and massaged Loki’s arms as he focused on the feel of Loki sliding into him. The magic helped ease his member in; the tingling feeling of his muscles relaxing around his girth; his solid warmth filling him; his presence over him; his hands firmly holding him; his eyes deeply staring him down… Clint couldn’t keep himself composed and he melted a little with a puffing exhale that surged pleasure all through him. He shivered and knitted his brows with a groan.

Loki smoothed Clint’s hair back and then kissed him as he slowly began moving.

 _Yes,_ Clint whispered and tried wrapping his legs around him. Loki pushed his thighs into his chest more and Clint realised why; he still had the golden underpants on. They were stretched between his legs, just at his knees and spotted wet with his pre-cum.

Loki stood up a bit and rolled his hips, taking his time in getting Clint well opened up, his hands firmly gripping just below his knees. Clint was left to huff his frustrations at being teased so. He gripped the sheets with each push in and relaxed them as Loki pulled out; the relief and filling pressured spike of the actions wound his body up like a toy. He smirked as he wondered what his function would be when let go.

Loki didn’t give him a chance to find out this time around, for he leaned forward and began suddenly to pound into him; pushing his legs up higher still. Clint was in two with the metallic pants in his face. He didn’t even try to silence his whines and huffs of pleasure. He wanted the world to know how wonderful it felt and prayed they were jealous. Loki leaned forward a bit more; the thumb of one hand accidently hooking on the underpants. Clint found them directly touching his nose. He snapped his teeth together, catching the fabric between them and grunted as the feel of Loki’s weight coupled with the stabbing bliss of his length driving in and out of him. It felt wondrous.

Loki changed the angle a bit, aiming more upward now. If Clint thought he’d found perfect bliss before he was gravely mistaken, for now his entire body was singing and his vocal praises became louder. The god eased up on the pressure he had on Clint’s legs and gave the archer enough room for breath that would allow him to sustain a few words, as well as his repeated whines, shouts, and moans.

“Oh fuck,” Clint gasped holding onto Loki’s arms as his prostate was stimulated spot on. “Oh fuck yes!” he whispered arching a little off the mattress. “Oh you’re gonna make me cum,” he panted desperately. Loki leaned forward again and gave hard long thrusts. Clint cried out and clung to him, trying to wrap his legs around his shoulders as much as he could. Loki held Clint’s face with both hands as he rolled his hips forward.

Clint started to feel light headed, so he pushed a little at Loki, who backed off and gave him some room to take a fell breath. He gave him a moment and then rolled his hips upward.

“There!” Clint cried out trying to hold onto Loki as best as he could. “Fuckthere _yes_!”

Loki kissed his throat and held him close with a hunger he did not know he possessed. He began speeding up again; relishing Clint’s high breathy moans and the feel of his muscles tightening around him. “You are _so_ tight,” he groaned into his ear.

Clint moaned in response and pulled at his hair before grabbing a hold of Loki’s; trying to kiss him as often as their breathing and motions would allow.

Loki felt Clint’s side of the bond reach out for him and he brushed it off. Clint huffed and tried again. Loki straightened and pulled out of him.

Clint opened his mouth to say something but found the metallic pants swiftly yanked off his legs before being flipped onto his stomach. Loki pulled at him, pushing his legs to touch the floor and spread them eagerly. He ran his hands along Clint’s body, taking his time to ensure that Clint’s sexual needs would calm down from the edge. They took the time to catch their breath as well. Clint shivered as Loki’s fingers traced down his back and rested over his rear. He stood on his tip toes to elevate it and shifted from foot to foot, wagging it slowly in hopes to entice the god to touch him more.

Loki gently hit his right cheek. Well, hit wasn’t really what he did, it was more of a very light pat; almost a brush as though he’d dropped his hand and it’d accidently collided with Clint’s backside.

The archer moaned and pushed his backend closer to the god. “You can hit it if you want,” he said turning his face to the side as he looked at the god. Loki’s look was hungry as he gazed down upon him, and it thrilled Clint that he was desired in such a way. “Hit it,” he offered and bit his lip.

Loki knew he was asking for something more than what he’d playfully done before. “I do not wish to hurt or humiliate you,” he confessed, his fingers drawing circles upon one of Clint’s round cheeks before running them up his spine.

“But I’ve been a bad boy,” he sighed rubbing himself against Loki’s lower thighs and knees; his heels prevented Clint from grinding against him the way he really wanted too. “Running away…sleeping with Janet.”

Loki’s lips twitched a bit. He leaned over the archer and pressed kisses to his shoulder. “I think I can forgive you,” he said in that deep seductive tone he only reserved for their bed.

“Just slap my ass,” Clint grumbled dropping the character act. Loki laughed and shifted to the side, giving Clint a small spank; it was a tiny clapping sound that was more playful than anything, just a little harder than he’d done before. The archer hummed and closed his eyes as he pillowed his head on his arms. “Oh yeah…” he whispered pleased.

“Did that satisfy?” Loki asked and dragged his nose up Clint’s jaw.

“I wouldn’t object to it being harder,” he admitted. Loki complied; this time it made a sound and an impression that was closer to what Clint desired. He moaned and shifted to press his face into the bed. “Oh hit it!” Clint begged standing on tip toes to push his bare ass higher in the air. Loki straightened and gave himself a moment before he slapped his ass again. “Harder,” he moaned as he rocked back into him.

Loki put even more force into it. The archer asked for more and Loki decided he’d give it almost his all. That got a shout as well as left a white imprint that faded to red and welted a bit.

“Yes, like that, again,” Clint whispered.

Loki was a bit concerned at the mark he’d made, yet waited a minute before indulging the archer’s request again. He continued to tease him, giving him small pats and gently rubbing his rear until Clint was nearly begging in desperation for it. Loki repeated the pattern only thrice more before dedicating his time to kissing along the archer’s back.

“One more,” Clint begged excitedly.

“No,” Loki said firmly and leaned forward holding Clint’s throat gently. “Don’t you want to fuck?” he tempted in his ear.

Clint nodded and wiggled hoping Loki would start moving against him again. “Don’t you want it hard and deep and – ”

“ _Yes_! Yes! I want it, I want it,” he whispered desperately impatient and licked his lips. He let one foot pop up as he leaned against the bed, trying to grind against it. Loki pulled him back away from being able to touch it like that again.

“Show me,” he challenged and gently rubbed at his hole. “Have I not gratified your desires so far?”

“Yes…” he breathed, his eyes fluttering closed as the god’s touch sent a thrill through him.

“Then move your ass. Show me how bad you want it.”

“Put it in and I’ll show you,” he muttered with a wicked smirk as he glanced at him from over his shoulder. Loki leaned back and gave him one last hard spank for his ‘insolent’ remark, a grin on his own lips. “Oh…” Clint breathed and pushed against Loki’s fingers. They moved out of the way. He huffed and reached back, pulling at one of his cheeks to open himself up more. Loki smiled as he stared down at him and continued to play his fingertips around his entrance. “Please either put your fingers in me or your dick,” Clint grunted a little as he attempted to press himself on them, with no success, again. Loki removed his hand and pushed back into him. Clint didn’t give either of them any time to adjust; he immediately began moving back and forth – his eagerness almost causing Loki to fall out of him.

Loki groaned and pushed against the middle of Clint’s back to tilt his hips up a bit more. The archer pushed his palms into the bed to help him move faster, even bending his legs and tensing them, pressing his knees into the side of the mattress to try and get more. He didn’t want anything sweet, he wanted it hard and it frustrated him that in his current position he couldn’t gain the right leverage for it.

Loki watched as the archer huffed and grunted, shifting his legs and hands to angle his body for more. His ass was the same colour red as his ears. His chest and face were pink and his hair was dark and wet from sweat. The god ran his hands down Clint’s damp soft back and then grabbed his hips before snapping his own forward. Clint let out a cry and then groaned, relaxing his body down to the bed so that Loki could have his way with him.

The god realised his heels made him a bit too high, so he pulled out and grabbed a few of their pillows, stuffing some under Clint’s pelvis, and angled him more over the bed. He put one of Clint’s legs up onto the bed and pushed back in.

“Oh yeah, show my ass no mercy,” Clint groaned and pulled a pillow over to bite and moan into as nirvana tore through him deliciously. Loki added a little more gusto and force into his movements. He had always had to keep some restrain to their lovemaking, holding back in some way or another so as not to hurt Clint or leave deep bruises. This little bit of freedom they were experimenting with brought their trust in one another to a whole new level.

Clint started shouting and Loki knew it wasn’t from pain. They were rapturous and elegant; the sound was beautiful poetry, a sort of music that spoke to his soul. The bond slid together and Loki was overcome. He tightened his muscles as best as he could to keep from coming. He was so closed; he was surrounded by his smell; his warmth; his weight; he was nearly crying from the intensity; fingers rubbed his perineum; a flair of pleasure filled him to the brink; he crawled back away from it as best as he could; he wanted more; needed it harder; a warm hand stroked his member.

Clint came suddenly, shouting loudly and gasping, his moans and huffs spoke of gratification. He let go of Loki’s hand, which was tightly wrapped around his member, and reached back to lay his hand on Loki, indicating he needed him to back off a bit because it was too much now.

Loki was a hair away from finishing. He could feel the pressure backing up inside of him. He kept his thrusts short and shallow, per Clint’s request. The archer’s muscles squeezed down suddenly so hard they pushed him out. The feel of sliding out so unexpectedly was the spark his body needed.

“Shit,” he hissed and grabbed himself as he took a step back. Clint quickly slipped to the floor and turned, opening his mouth with anticipation. He looked so amazingly stunning; drenched in sweat, face red, chest heaving, eyes dark and ravenous, pink tongue sticking out.

Loki set his head upon the archer’s tongue and stroked himself as he came. He grabbed a fist full of Clint’s hair and grunted through clinched teeth as he shot off into his mouth.

Clint leaned his face forward and closed his lips around him, gently sucking. Loki dropped his head back and groaned low in his chest. Clint moved Loki’s hand away from his member and carefully moved his head back and forth a bit until he felt Loki had nothing more to give. He released his length from his mouth and swallowing his load before greedily licking Loki for more.

“Oh Clinton,” he moaned and cupped his chin. He brushed some of the cum in the corner of Barton’s lips into his mouth. Clint sucked his thumb and moaned. Loki’s grip tightened and he pulled him up and kissed him. They stared at one another, both panting and tingling; heavy lids and sated bodies. They softly laughed with large grins upon their lips and kissed one another again.

“Happy Halloween,” Loki whispered.

“Happy Halloween,” he replied and pulled him down toward the bed. They moved toward the centre and lay on their sides, kissing and holding one another.

Clint kissed down Loki’s throat as he pulled the strings to the back of the corset. Loki leaned into him and draped his leg around his waist. The pressure on his chest lessened and he took a full breath, moaning in relief. His ribs ached from being compressed for so long.

“Oh…” Clint whispered. Loki hummed to show his interest in what had caught the archer’s attention. “There are hooks in the front.”

Loki chuckled. “Yes, that’s how I got it on.”

“Sorry,” he said unhooking it from the front and pressed a kiss to his chest.

“It is fine. No harm done. I’ll just have to adjust it later.”

“I’ll help lace you up in it,” he offered and opened the corset front and covered his chest in kisses.

Loki hummed and sighed as he stretched. “That sounds like a wonderful idea.”

“Yeah?” he smiled up at him.

Loki nodded and shifted to let him pull the garment out from under him. Clint set it away to the side of the bed and moved to kneel near Loki’s legs. He brushed his fingers around Loki’s calf. The god inhaled through his nose as his skin broke into goose bumps.

“I never realised, until this moment, how much leg you are.”

“What?” he chuckled confused.

“Like compared to the rest of you,” he said and then gestured to the god’s legs. “You’re like ninety-five percent legs and five percent other.”

“Other?”

“Like your face and stuff,”

Loki laughed. “I don’t think those numbers are very accurate.”

“Alright, eighty-five percent legs,” he grinned and leaned down to kiss them. He made his way down to Loki’s shoes and kissed around his ankles as he unclasped the strap to one of them. He pulled the shoe off, not paying attention to where he tossed it, and focused on Loki’s foot. He gently rubbed it and pressed kisses along his arch. Loki moaned and pulled his leg up.

Clint followed it, not letting up on his attentions until he was near enough to unclasp his stocking from the belt. Clint bent forward and kissed along Loki’s thigh as he slowly pulled the stocking down. Loki shivered and moved his leg to try and help him in his task. Clint paused for a moment at Loki’s knee, kissing in a circle around it and then leaned back, pulling the stocking off as he fell back onto the bed. Loki laughed and set his leg down as Clint started doing the same routine for the other. When he had removed the second one he crawled over Loki.

“I’m sorry I have to take you out of this thing,” he said and bent to kiss the god’s stomach.

Loki smiled and ran his fingers through Clint’s hair. “You didn’t have too.”

“No but you can breathe now,” he mumbled as he rubbed his nose in slow circles, kissing his body tenderly.

Loki chuckled. “I could breathe before; but yes, it is easier now. You only wanted an excuse to touch me.”

“Do I need one one?” he asked raising his head a bit to look at him.

Loki changed into his Jötunn form. “No,” he whispered. He opened his legs more as Clint came to rest between them. He kissed up his chest and gently pulled Loki’s garter belt and panties off. Loki laughed as his legs and rear were lifted into the air in the process. He cleared his throat and hummed as Clint tossed the last of his clothing aside and ran his hands up his body.

“I knew it,” Clint whispered when he glanced down at Loki’s loins.

The god became self-conscious and glanced down as well. “What?”

“Nothing, it’s not bad,” he promised and kissed him as he rested his weight upon him. He noticed Loki wasn’t fully biting at his advances so he looked at him. “I mean it. It’s not bad. It’s just an observation. It’s a good one.”

Loki bit his lip and sighed heavily giving in and tried not to let it bother him.

“It’s your dick,” he said exasperated, knowing that the god would sulk until he told him.

“My dick?” he furrowed his brow and then glanced between them. It was a useless action, for their bellies where touching so he couldn’t actually see his own anatomy well.

“You might not have even noticed it, it’s not like you stick your face there anyways. It’s fine.”

“Clint –”

“It’s your birthlines. They curve along it. In your other form they’re just veins.”

“Oh…” Loki said and relaxed. He thought about what Clint had just said and then wiggled to try and actually get a look at himself. “Really?”

“I’m going to get use a full length mirror and make you memorise every detail of yourself,” Clint vowed and rolled off to the side. He watched as Loki inspected himself, turning his flaccid member from side to side before shifting into his Asgardian form. “Satisfied?”

“No,” Loki said with a studiously serious frown. He returned to his natural form and lay on his side facing Clint.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” he shrugged and put his arms around him, pulling him close.

“That look says otherwise,” he gently pressed and rubbed at Loki’s forehead to try and get him to relax his features.

He did with a sigh. “I don’t…I don’t know what they mean,” he confessed. “I can look at every other part of me and somehow I just know what that mark means, but these I do not. It’s…a bother,” he finished.

Clint didn’t really like his overly careful word choice, but he didn’t comment on it. “I have scares on me that I don’t remember getting. Maybe they’re like moles? You just seem to get them at random or something. One day they’re not there and the next they are?”

“I don’t know,” he whispered. “I highly doubt I ever will.”

“I wouldn’t say ‘ever’. Maybe your mom will know, we can ask her when we see her.”

Loki let out a sharp barking laugh. “Yes, because the first thing I say to my mother upon seeing her is to not inquire after her health, but point to my penis and say ‘Did you ever notice this odd thing?’”

“I didn’t say it had to be the first!” he laughed gently pushing at his chest. “It could be like the second or tenth thing!”

“Do I still have to point to my penis when I say it?”

“Sh! You’re silly!” he said putting his hands over Loki’s mouth. He leaned in and moved them out of the way so that he could kiss him. He unclasped his necklace as he did so. “Can I be the little spoon?” he asked gathering the stringed beads up into one hand.

“The what?” he curiously frowned with a grin.

“Spoon? Y’know, spooing? When you snuggle really close against someone, there is the one that’s on the outside holding the other. The one being held is called the little spoon.”

“Oh,” he laughed and nodded. “Yes, if you wish you may be the little spoon.”

“Oh do me a favour and say ‘spoon’ again,” he requested with a stupid grin of his face. Loki leaned in to whisper it into his ear. Clint laughed in a silly manner and kissed him once more. “Thank you.”

“Not at all, my little spoon,” he replied with the same grin upon his own mouth.

Clint rolled over and stretched before setting the necklace on the bedside table. He winced and realised his ass felt as though it were on fire. Not in the way a rough night of sex without proper lubrication felt, no this was the kind that said his over eagerness and kinky habits had gotten his ass literally beaten. He gently reached down and touched the tender warm skin.

A hand came over his. “Would you care for me to heal you?” Loki asked gently touching him.

“Kind of…but not really,” he admitted.

Loki smirked and moved closer to him. “Would you care for me to reduce the pain a bit? I promise if you enjoy marks like such, in the future I am willing to cater to your –”

“If you keep talking like that in my ear I’m not going to be able to walk tomorrow.”

“Whatever for?”

“I’ll need you to fuck me again,”

Loki chuckled, deep and low in his throat as he kissed along Clint’s shoulder. “Perhaps I prefer it that way.”

“Yeah me too,” he said and wiggled so that he fit better against him. Loki magicked the covers over them. “Did you…did you enjoy it?” he asked settling down.

“Yes,” he replied and wrapped his arms around him. “Why?”

He shrugged. “I was just suddenly worried it was weird or something. I mean…the past few times we’ve had sex we’ve been doing things we’ve never really done before. We haven’t really talked about them either, just done it as a spur of the moment thing and I wanted to make sure you were okay with spanking me. You seemed hesitant about it a bit.”

“I’ll admit doing it that hard had me concerned for your well-being. At first I was terrified I would cause you serious harm, yet after seeing how you enjoyed it I found myself enjoying it.”

“Great, because I’m going to need to you slap dat ass next time,” he smiled.

Loki frowned confused for several seconds before he figured out what the archer was saying. He moved his hips back a bit and gently clapped him on the ass. It made Clint jump in surprise and moan a little with stinging pleasure.

“Oh…do it again…” he begged wiggling his bottom a bit as he pushed it into the god’s hand.

“I never knew you were so…remarkable,” he smiled and rubbed the heated skin.

The archer closed his eyes and swallowed as he moaned a little. “That’s a nice way of saying ‘kinky as fuck’?”

“Do you enjoy the unusual?” he teased in his ear.

“Well I did let you fuck me in some very bizarre places,” he laughed and arched a little as the god’s cold hand soothed his busted ass.

“And do some very questionable magic…” he added, regret clinging to the edge of his words.

“Yeah,” he sighed and turned his face back to look at him with a reassuring smile. “We may never do some of those things again, but it was great experiencing them with you.” Loki searched his face and nodded as he moved to snuggle up against him. “Hey,” he said and rolled over quickly to stop him so that they could look at one another. “Seriously. I mean it. Regardless of how it all came to pass, I’m glad I got to experience fucking in an abandoned building, in the back of a moving truck, on a roof top, secretly before strangers,” he grinned and leaned in to nuzzle their noses together. “I’ve never felt more safe and just… _felt_ with anyone in my whole life like I have with you.” He kissed him.

Loki looked at him and nodded again, this time it wasn’t in the downcast manner he had before, it was in a bashful one that spoke of how Clint’s words had touched him. He loved Clint so very deeply, had for a very long time, even before he could say the words aloud, and he was very glad that his actions had helped transfer that sentiment.

Clint rolled over and they shifted together. Clint asked JARVIS to turn the lights out and they drifted off to sleep.

“Speaking of ‘kinky as fuck’,” Clint said suddenly as a thought struck him awake. Loki jerked a little and opened his eyes, moving a bit to indicate he was awake and listening. “There’s a package coming that should sum up a little of my perverted side. I like things,” he added at the end to try and justify something. Loki wasn’t sure what and neither did Clint, but he felt it needed to be said.

“I like the things you like,” Loki mumbled and held him a little closer.

 _I love you,_ they both whispered to one another before finally falling to sleep.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1st Jan 2015: A little update: I don't have the next chapter finished yet (sorry. I'm really sorry!) and I have to send my computer in for repairs (I've really put it off for far too long. It's a wonder he can even turn on any more). I don’t know when I’ll be back but I wish you all a great start to the year! Everyone stay safe, happy, and healthy! I believe in you! <3


	46. Chapter 46

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! Happy one day late Valentine's! I was hoping to get this up yesterday, but we had a Thundersnow (which was really cool to watch!) roll in and then the power went out.
> 
> All mistakes are my own. If anything doesn't make sense just let me know and I'll fix it.
> 
> I hope you are all doing wonderful and enjoy the chapter!

\----------------------46----------------------

Clint entered the room with a tired sigh. Damn he hated morning shift. At least now that it was over he could easily crawl back into bed and sleep for a few more hours and wake up at a time that was normal and sane. He pulled his clothes off and went to carefully sit at the edge of the mattress so he could stare at the sleeping god. Damn he was beautiful. Clint smiled and brushed his fingers down Loki’s cheek gently. The god smiled and slowly opened his eyes.

“Did I wake you?” he whispered.

Loki shook his head and then stretched with a large yawn. “I have been awake for some time,” he admitted.

“You were pretending?” he pouted.

“I know how much you enjoy watching me sleep,” he confessed shyly and pulled the covers up to his chin. Clint leaned forward and kissed him. Loki hummed and titled his face up a little more. “How are you feeling today?” he asked with a deviously pleased grin.

“My asshole still hates me, but the rest of me thanks you,” he chuckled and kissed him again, “Especially my lovely bruised prostate.” They both laughed. “What do you want to do today?” he sighed as he kissed along the god’s jaw.

Loki moaned as he stretched again and then turned to his side. “I’m not sure.”

“Nothing important comes to mind?”

He chuckled, “Nothing at the moment.” They kissed again. “Should I take a bath?” he asked and pretended to think upon the idea.

“I could help you?” Clint offered.

“Could you?” he said with a grin.

“Yeah, like wash your back and…stuff,” he said before kissing Loki again.

Loki laughed. “Stuff? What is this ‘stuff’ you speak of?”

“Oh, it’s a surprise,” he whispered and kissed him again.

“I love surprises,” he admitted and kissed the archer again. They indulged in a few more before Loki rose from the bed; Clint followed him and continued to press small smooches where he could land them until they were too far away from one another. Loki let his hips sway a little as he casually stretched and headed to the bathroom, a knowing smirk on his lips.

Clint stared for a bit, his mouth hanging open as he watched him before he scrambled after the god. They started the water and settled into the tub; Loki laying back in his usual spot with Clint in his lap. He ran his fingers through Loki’s hair as they kissed and let the warm water rise up around them. When it reached a good height, Loki turned it off and their playfulness increased into something steamy and physical.

Loki chuckled softly as Clint worshiped his neck. He shifted under him and shivered as Clint’s hands trailed down his sides. His fingers just brushing his nipples on their way back up to rake through his hair, giving it a gentle tug as he kissed him deeply. His own hands flitted about trying to hold Clint’s hips, to run down his back, grip his arms, or smooth along his thighs.

There was a knock on the outer door. They both stopped. Loki pulled his face back to look up at Barton. Clint was glaring at the door through the opened bathroom doors. “What!?” he barked.

“Package!” Bruce called cheerily.

“I’ve got one!” he shouted back.

“What?” the scientist called, obviously not getting the lewd and poorly made joke the archer had said.

Loki relaxed back into the bath, indicating he was done touching at that moment. Clint grumbled as he stepped out of the tub and snatched up a towel to wrap around his waist. He could punch Banner. Well if…Banner wasn’t Banner he would. Instead, he just continued to angrily mutter as he tried covering his boner and opened the door.

“What?” he snipped.

“Uh, sorry,” Bruce said and held up the package. “I didn’t mean to interrupt it’s just this came last night and –”

Clint recognised the label and his mood brightened. He smiled at his friend and took it. “No, thanks bro!”

“Uh, okay,” he said confused.

“Bye,” Clint said and shut the door in his face. He manically laughed as he locked it.

“What is it?” Loki called.

“Come see.”

He heard the god sigh as he got out of the tub. “You took my towel,” he said.

“Not sorry,” he said to himself as he used one of the arrow heads he had been modifying yesterday to open the package. He tossed it to the side, moved the main comforter off of the bed, and waited until Loki was standing next to him before he opened it. “Tada!” he gestured at it with a smile.

Loki raised a brow. “It’s…you shouldn’t have,” he said wearily. He picked one of the thick brown packaging paper wads up. “I’ve always…wanted…paper…”

“Alright smartass,” he sighed and began tossing the packaging off to the side. Once the contents could be seen he tried again. “Tada!” he smiled and gestured to it once more.

“Is that a penis?”

“Yep.”

Loki looked at Clint; his eyes a little wide and then back at the box. “This is a box full of penises.”

“Yep.”

“Who?” he whispered, crossing his arms over his chest a bit concerned.

“What?” Clint frowned. It was not the reaction he had thought he’d get out of the god.

“Who?” he said a little louder and rubbed at his neck with one hand nervously, “Who did you take them from?”

Clint stared at him for a moment and then pulled out one of the boxes from inside. He opened it and pulled out the toy. Loki took a small step back cautiously. “It’s fake,” he said and wiggled it. “It’s made out of silicone.”

The god let out a grateful sigh of relief. “Oh they are _toys_!” he said softly and rubbed at his forehead.

“What the hell!?” Barton frowned completely insulted. “Do I look like at freak that’d –”

“No, it’s just I’ve never seen one so _real_ ,” he explained quickly. “Asgardians only make stone and –”

“Stone?” he gaped and made a face that looked as though his mouth had turned into an upside down “U”. It bordered on sad and scared.

“It’s polished,” he said defensively. “Polished wood and stone ones. Also glass.”

He looked at him disgusted. “Wood!?”

“It’s polished!” he said exasperated at having to defend himself.

“Wood!?” he pressed again.

“It’s rather light,” Loki mused. Clint blinked at him several times dumbstruck. “What?” the god asked innocently.

“You’ve…you’ve used toys?”

“Yes, I have a few of my own.”

“Wood ones?” he asked in a small voice as he made that face again.

Loki made an exasperated noise and grabbed the dildo out of Clint’s hand to smack him in the arm with. “No! One is glass and the other stone.”

“Did you just hit me with a dick!?” he cried aghast.

“Don’t act as though I haven’t done that before,” Loki said rolling his eyes with a diva-ish huff.

Clint grinned wide and then gave a half shrug kind of pleased at the memory of it. “Yeah,” he said and then sobered up to continue their conversation. “I can’t believe you have toys!” he said and then looked down at the box disappointed.

Loki’s brows knitted and he too looked at the box and then back up at the archer. He realised what his look meant. “Were you hoping to show me something new with these?” he asked.

Clint shrugged and fiddled with the box’s insides. “Honestly,” Clint said after a moment of silence. “I originally ordered these when we weren’t having sex. You were worried about your real form and saying the “L” word and stuff. I was trying to think of something to entice you to want to be intimate again. I wanted to make it fun so that you wouldn’t be so stressed about it. You’d forget the parts that don’t matter and we could be together like that again. Then it got back-ordered and I forgot about it until the other night and…” he trailed off and looked apologetically at the god.

“Intimacy is more than just sex,” Loki reminded, yet smirked and stood behind him, resting his chin upon the archer’s shoulder. He set his arms around him and looked the toy he still had in hand over. “I might have experience with the two I own, however I’ve never had dealings with one that feels…the way this one does. Also, the fact that you were worried and tried to help me during a difficult time means a great deal to me. I’m still not fully comfortable with my…my body. If you think these would help in any way I am more than willing to try. Actually,” he said considering his words. “I’m willing to try them solely based on you having picked them out; no other incentive needed.”

Clint chuckled and looked at the god from over his shoulder. “So you are curious?”

“Very,” he smiled wickedly.

Clint looked innocently down at the box of sexy goodies and then up at Loki. “Do you…wanna see what I picked out for us?”

“Oh yes,” he whispered and kissed his shoulder.

Clint began taking the boxes out and unwrapping them quickly. “As you know this one is silicone,” he said indicating the one in Loki’s hand. “It’s based off of real ones. It’s about our size.”

“What did you plan on using this for?” he asked looking it over.

Clint’s face heated up at how deep and breathy Loki’s voice sounded next to his ear. “Um…y’know that show you wanted that I haven’t really done yet?”

The god chuckled. “Yes, I recall all of the shows and things you ‘owe’ me.” Clint frowned at him and went to speak, but Loki held a hand up with a smile. “You will be using this on yourself?”

“Yes,”

“Then I approve.”

Clint bit his lip highly pleased with himself and took it back to set beside the others. “These next ones are a little special.”

“How so?”

“They vibrate,”

“They what?”

“Vibrate,” he said and held them up giving them a little shake. Loki nodded to show he understood what that meant. “We have two. One is just straight and the other has a thing.”

Loki frowned. “A thing?”

“Yeah it’s mainly used on women to tease their clits,”

“So the purpose with men is for…?”

“The taint.”

“Excuse me?”

“The spot between,” he said turning around and pressed himself against Loki. The god’s breath caught as Barton ran his hand down his damp body. He felt heat rise to his face, which quickly changed direction as Clint cupped him and then move his fingers further down to rub at his perineum.

“Oh,” he whispered as he jumped and then relaxed at the touch. He looked at the toy and felt the firm small knob on it. It had a few horizontally raised wavy ribs on its length and the small curved knob was smooth and rounded at the top. It looked a little less like the real thing and more like an oblong object one would collect as a specimen from a far off place. It matched the other one in size and colour, but not in straightness. The second was completely smooth and very straight.

“And then we have these,” he said turning back to pick up and hold a few rings. “Which are cock rings. They help slow blood flow to keep stuff harder better faster stronger,”

Loki chuckled at the song joke and then touched a few of them. Some were soft and some had a few odd accessories on their surface. “We have metal ones on Asgard, though the use of them is rarely admitted. How many did you order?”

“Uh, these were free. If I reached a certain amount with my other purchases the company said they’d throw in a random assortment of rings and sleeves. This are sleeves, they’re just for stimulation.” He held one of them up and rubbed at the wavy surface.

“How generous,”

“Yeah, we also got a free vibrating bullet.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah,” he laughed deviously. “Wait until I use it on you. Then you’ll _really_ be saying ‘oh’.”

Loki slapped his arm playfully. “Clinton!”

“What? It’s the truth,”

Loki laughed and leaned a little closer as he tucked some of his hair behind his ear. “Did you intend on trying any of these today?” he asked none too innocently.

Clint shivered at the idea the god was suggesting. “Well they are here,” he reasoned and looked at them. “Do you want to test out a few?”

“Yes,” said Loki excitedly and kissed Clint.

The archer ran a hand down Loki’s body as he reached for a toy with his other. He felt his fingers connect with the vibrating one and went to grab it. Loki’s hand shot out and gripped his. Clint pulled back and looked at him innocently.

“What?” he asked.

“I believe you owe me a show?” Loki whispered, staring the archer down.

Clint swallowed and nodded. “Y-yes I do.”

Loki nodded his head and licked his lips as he stared at Clint’s mouth. “I’d like that now.” His eyes flicked up to Clint’s. “I mentioned what toy I wanted.”

Clint let go of the one in his hand and took up the pale realistic one. “I’ve got to wash it,” he explained holding it up a bit.

“Then do so,” Loki said with a smile. “Can it be used in water?” Clint nodded. “Then I’ll be waiting.” He let go of him and went back to slip into the bath.

Barton shivered as he went to wash the toy in the sink. He could feel Loki’s heated gaze along his body and his skin prickled in excitement. He turned the water off and walked to the bathtub when he was done. Loki had already found a spot and was relaxing comfortably with his arms draped over the edges.

When he saw Clint was ready, he pointed elegantly to the far side with the most bone melting deviously sexy smirk. “There,” he said; his voice extra gravely and low as the words slipped from his lips sensually.

Clint swallowed and nodded as he felt his body kick into gear. He got in and went to where the god had gestured. There was a small area, very tiny compared to the one they had at the old room, yet still wide enough for him to sit on it, and he realised that’s exactly what Loki had in mind. He set the toy off to the side and sat on the cold surface.

The corners of Loki’s mouth twitched when he saw Clint jump at the contact with the chilly tiles. He waved a hand and sent the spell to the archer’s fingers. Clint looked down at them and then at the god. He moved into a kneeling position and ran his right hand along his body as he let his left one slide down his hip and under. When he felt his fingertip touch his hole, he pulled the hand back up and let the lubricant glide along his thigh.

He ran his right hand along his chest and stopped to pull a little at one of his nipples. The act had never done anything for him singularly. Nope, he could roll and tease them all day and never feel a thing, but the moment another touched them – when Loki put his mouth on them; when his tongue rolled around them, when his teeth just barely scarped against the skin, when he sucked on them until the area was red and surely bruised – that! That was what got him hot and bothered. He moaned and thought about it as he closed his eyes and pretended it was Loki touching him.

It helped a little, just enough to have his skin break out into goose pimples, but when he opened his eyes, he saw it had the desired effect upon the god. Loki shifted his legs just slightly. Clint smirked and let his left hand cup his sac. He gently caressed and rubbed it as he tensed and relaxed all of his body, moving his hips a little. He let his legs spread wider and he moved his hand to play along his member. He gripped it firmly and stroked from base to head slowly several times.

Loki shifted his legs again and took a breath. Clint stroked down, gently pulling the small amount of skin he had back to reveal his tip. He let his thumb rub around it in circles and let out a heavy sigh as he leaned back a little, his other hand finding the wall to help support and steady him.

“Clinton,” Loki said, his voice holding great restrain. The muscles in his arms twitching and his fingers flexed a bit.

“Yes, Loki?” he sighed and used his finger to teasingly draw up the side of his length.

“I would very much…enjoy it,” he said and swallowed, his gaze coming up from watching the archer’s hand to staring into his eyes, “if you would put that hand to better use.”

“Does this not please you?”

“It does,” he breathed hungrily and closed his eyes for a moment; his hands closing and opening as he looked back at Clint. “It does very much,” he said carefully. “I would enjoy seeing more though.”

Clint smiled and carefully moved so that he had one leg bent, turning a bit so that Loki could get a better view of where his hand was about to be. He decided to make it a thorough and slow process, considering he was still a little tender from their Halloween kinkery the other day: so one finger at a time, knuckle by knuckle he gently teased himself. He could see Loki holding himself back as he intently watched Clint’s fingers play, stretch, and circle around, gently loosening his hole enough for the next digit.

He eased his third finger in and smirked as he saw Loki jump a little, his eyes devouring the sight of the slick fingers moving in and out of him. He moved them faster and began aiming for his prostate. He hit it and he gave a loud gasp, his muscles squeezing down and pushing his fingers out a little.

Loki growled a little and pulled his legs close to his body. He was leaning forward now and breathing heavily, his arms still on the sides of the tub, only now gripping them instead of the casual way they had been draped over them before. Clint chuckled softly to himself and then removed his fingers. Loki’s eyes shot up to his, silently demanding as to why he’d do such a thing, until he remembered the toy. He took a deep breath and forced himself to relax back to the way he had been.

Clint picked up the toy and swirled his tongue around the head, watching to see how the god would react.

“Clinton,” he warned; his tone clipped and deeper. It seemed even darker, wilder, and so hungry. His eyes told of how starved he was for the main course of the show.

The archer decided it was time. He felt it; the look he was getting, the feeling of Loki lurking just outside of the bond, and the excitement of it all would finish him soon. He dragged his left hand along the shaft of the toy to coat it and then jabbed the bottom down onto the surface. It wasn’t a suction cup, but it would stay on the area for a while, just long enough for him to do what he wanted. He turned to face away from Loki and spread his cheeks, presenting his hole for a second before he reached down with one hand and guided the toy into him.

The silicone dildo wasn’t anything like Loki’s real warm length, but damn it feel good to finally have something solid in him. It also felt great to groan aloud and feel the god squirm behind him. He rested his arms against the wall before him and continued to lower himself down slowly.

He groaned again as he reached the furthest point he could in that position and then started moving. He heard the water splash behind him and he grinned. He hoped Loki was touching himself. He hoped that he had his erection in hand and was stroking himself in time to his movements.

He leaned forward a bit more and pressed his forehead into his arms, opening his legs just a fraction in hopes for more and to give the god a little more of a teasing view.

Loki bit his lip and kept his hands clenching on the side of the tub, his hips giving only a little movement to mirror how the toy moved in and out of Clint. When he had demanded a show, he hadn’t thought of this. He had thought of Clint taking his clothes off slowly; of him kneeling before him with that clever mouth and that wicked tongue at work on his member; of him riding him in a chair, hard and fast. No this was much better. This was more delicious of a view, more satisfying of an arousal, and a much more brilliant way to spend their time that just the usual.

Clint began moving faster, the pale cream dildo disappearing and reappearing as its seven inches neatly and cleanly slid and stroked the inside of his walls; the shy coat of lubricant easing the way. He wanted to touch him. Wanted to kiss his body, run his hands along him, hold the base of his erection, and hiss filthy things into his ear. This wasn’t romantic sex. This was possessive and fun. He wanted to slap his firm backside and grip it; push it together along with Clint’s legs to make his passage tighter. He wanted to feel his heat close in around his member. Feel the beat of his heart pounding throughout his entire being.

Loki moaned and drew his legs closer to his body again; he was so hard, so desperate.

“Loki,” the archer whispered

The god let his head fall back and moaned as the prayer fell elegantly from Clint’s mouth. He was going to burst any second and he couldn’t stand it.

There was an unusual sound and he looked up just in time to watch Clint fall backward. The archer gave a small shout just before his splash sent the waters into a stormy mess. Clint came up quickly and shook his head, spraying the area with more water and only furthering the puddles gathering across the floor.

Loki bit his lips and tried so hard not to laugh aloud. Unfortunately, the archer heard his struggling snickers.

“What?” he demanded angrily.

“It was amusing,” he answered honestly.

He growled frustrated and rubbed at his face with his right hand as he moved toward the edge to get out.

“Oh come now,” Loki chided and stopped him before he could leave. “Please do not be cross with me or yourself.”

“I ruined –”

“A wise person once told me that if you cannot laugh at yourself and the person you are with, no matter what situation you find yourselves, then you should not be with that person at all.” He pulled Clint down into his arms and kissed his temple. “The bath is a very slippery place and accidents happen. Not all is lost,” he said letting his bottom lip drag along Clint’s temple.

He inhaled and shivered as he felt the god press himself close. Loki guided them back to the little corner shelf. He straightened the dildo from where it had fallen onto the side and used a little magic to make sure it stayed against the surface. He kissed Clint as he gently urged him into place and helped him settle back onto the toy.

The archer blushed and looked away from Loki, who smirked with a hungry look as he massaged his thighs and encouraged him to move up and down again.

“The magic is gone,” Barton whispered as he mechanically bobbed up and down on it. “Now I just feel silly.”

“All of the years you have been alive, all of the sex you’ve had, and you mean to tell me you’ve never found yourself in an awkward silly situation?” he teased.

“No,” he said stopping.

Loki gave him a knowing look. “I find that hard to believe.” They had had their fair share of slightly awkward and silly moments. They might not have been as big as this one, but Loki knew Clint was being a little overdramatic.

“Believe it.”

“Well, regardless if that is truth or not, I suspect this won’t be the last, so pay attention,” he smirked and patted his rear.

“I am a fast learner,” he said with a witty grin.

Loki laughed, “See, you already know what to do.” He leaned in and kissed down Clint’s chest as he pulled at him a little to get him to move. “Now find that rhythm again.”

Clint shivered and let his arms fall around the god’s shoulders loosely. He played with his long inky hair as he felt his pale fingers trace along his legs and stomach. He closed his eyes and began moving again. The need to please wasn’t the same as the showy teasing one. This pleasure wasn’t just from seeing how his arousal affected the god and gaining more from it, it was both of them working to excite the other. Almost a game of who could rile the other one up more first.

He focused on that and found Loki’s words to ring true. The embarrassment of earlier melted fast and he soon found himself laughing and kissing him repeatedly as he rolled his hips and bounced up and down. It was like a dirty secret threesome, where Loki watched as someone fucked him. He pretended they had picked up some hot Italian dude and the game was he couldn’t look at or comfortingly touch the stranger, just Loki.

“Yes,” the god moaned and gripped his backside. “Tell me more,” he begged and kissed down Clint’s front.

He smiled and thought of how Loki and the stranger had watched him prepare himself; how the god had every intention of just watching the muscular and exotic Italian pound him into a dizzy sloppy post-orgasmic haze, but became too jealous and had decided to join in; how Loki touched him and controlled the speed of it all. Everything was under his control and Clint wanted to surrender it all.

He felt Loki’s mouth on his erection and he moaned, falling back against the wall a little. He kept one hand on it and the other tangled in Loki’s hair, pulling on it a little as he looked down at him. Those darkened sea green-blue eyes pierced right through him, steady and sure, as he bobbed his head and sucked him off in all of the right ways.

_Fuck him little Hawk. Fuck him harder…_ he whispered egging him on.

Clint moaned and gave it all he had. Damn did his knees ache against that tile, but the sound and feel of the toy sliding in and out of him and the way the water shifted and rippled every time Loki moved, it was worth it. He lifted a leg up to set his foot flat on the surface, giving it a small test to make sure he wouldn’t slip, and then used it as leverage.

The toy went deeper; the angle brushing and striking all of the right places, and Loki sucked harder. Clint threw his head back and cried out as he felt the end near. He felt the bond grasp and tug at Loki’s; the crazed way it acted made him feel even more desperate for completion.

It was sweet relief when they blended, and the taste and feel of themselves along with the firm toy sent them over the edge. They groaned, not wanting to give up what they were doing, but the sudden waves that crashed at their senses almost made them loose their footing again. Hands held them up as they continued to move on the toy, the feel of their mouth gently sucking just on their head, their body giving up and relaxing at last, and then the emptiness and static noise of the end.

Clint moved a little and found his face smooshed against Loki’s shoulder. He was hunched over in the god’s arms; his fingers tracing lovingly along his spine as he waited for Clint’s body to calm down. He moved, this time a little more and Loki stood to help him down from the ledge. He groaned as the dildo pulled out of his body, and was thankful Loki knew better enough than to let him just plop down into the water just yet.

They stood in the middle of tub for a long while, Clint’s body shaking a little and still fairly limp, Loki’s flushed and supportive. The archer looked up at him and smiled, glad that Loki not only returned the gesture but leaned in to give him what he wanted most: a kiss.

“I fear that if we continue to indulge our desires in such a way, we may never remain clean for long, and shall end our days in here,” the god whispered.

“Great, sounds like a plan,” he said back.

Loki laughed and kissed the side of his face. Clint moaned and stood enough to support his own weight again. The god didn’t stop though, and it only brought a violent shiver and goose bumps over him.

“Hey,” he whispered.

“Yes?” Loki replied and pressed his lips along the archer’s cheeks and nose.

“Wanna try out another?”

Loki looked down at him; Clint’s smug and satisfying smile made him shiver in delight. “Yes,” he breathed and cupped the side of his face as he kissed him.

The vibrating one was next and it was Clint’s secret weapon of surprise for the god. He decided the simple smooth one was a good starter and kept it off at first, making sure to work him open well with his fingers and then the toy before just turning it on at random. It startled Loki a bit upon activation, but with the setting so low, he eventually grew bored of the insignificant sensation and let his guard down. The look on his face though when Clint cranked that thing up was priceless. He cried out, his legs and arms curling into his centre as he began trembling. Clint slowly began moving it to point the head around inside of him in a slow circle to prove the power of the thing. Loki gasped and arched off the bed, his muscles squeezing down on the device when it pushed against and violently shook his prostate.

“Clint!” he shouted.

“Yeah, baby,” he smiled and pushed the smooth vibrator in deeper to hold there for a bit before he started slowly pushing and pulling it in and out of him.

Loki pulled at his hair and the noises he made – the _noises_! They were primal. All grunts mixed with moans with a dash of breathy gasps and sprinkles of needy whimpers. Loki didn’t know what to do with himself and Clint _loved_ it. He was stretching up toward the top of the bed, reaching for something to pull on one second and the next he was practically rolling from side to side desperately begging for more.

“Clinton!” he shouted as the archer turned the dial up to the last notch and held it at the right angle to stimulate his inner penis, prostate, and beyond. “AH!” he said; his body completely tense and shaking violently as he rolled onto his side for some sort of relief; his leg almost got tangled up with Clint’s arm, but the archer knew better and quickly adjusted in time. His breathing shortened and Clint knew he was close. He cut the intensity down to a one and pulled the vibrator almost all of the way out of Loki. The god let out a careful breath and a small sigh of relief as his body fell back away from the finish line.

“Told you,” he smirked victoriously down at him. Loki hit his chest with the back of his hand and brushed his hair back from his sweaty forehead as he lay flat on his back again. He lifted his legs up a bit to indicate he was ready. Clint pushed the vibrator in him and the god moaned, his eyes rolling up into his head as he licked his lips.

“Yes,” he breathed with a grateful smile.

“Tell me you want it,” Clint whispered with a satisfied grin on his face.

Loki moaned and ran his hands down his chest. “I want it…”

“Yeah?” he asked in a teasing tone.

“Yes…” he groaned, too aroused to protest against Clint’s tormenting. He slid his hands in between his legs, cupping his sac and fondled it for a bit. He hummed; his brows furrowed and smoothed a hand over his thighs.

Clint pushed the vibrator in and turned the intensity setting up just a touch. Loki moaned and lifted his legs higher, his hands moving to massage his thighs as he titled his head back.

Damn he looked beautiful: An angel of sexual rapture. Clint had never been so in love. He ran a hand down the god’s front and bent forward to plant a kiss on his stomach. Loki groaned and rocked, trying to get him to move the device a little faster. Clint did. Loki shouted in grateful surprise.

After a few minutes, Clint turned the vibrator off, yet kept pushing it in and out of Loki, changing his speed to rile him up.

“W-wh-why did you st-stop?” he panted confused and then moaned as its firmness brushed inside of him in all the right ways.

“I don’t want you becoming numb to it,” he explained and gave him a wicked smile. “I’ll turn it back on,” he promised.

Loki hummed and lifted his legs up more, his head rolling to the side.

“Touch yourself?” Clint asked and bent to kiss the god’s stomach.

Loki felt himself blush yet did as Clint bid. He slowly took his erection in hand and stroked it. Clint added his tongue and the god moaned, a pleased smile upon his mouth before it formed into an “Oh!”. Clint sucked at his sac and pushed the toy in and out of Loki slowly.

“Oh Clint…” he sighed and arched off the bed, “Oh yes!” he hissed and curled his toes. “Harder there!” he gasped.

“Here?” he asked and tilted the toy up a bit more.

“Mhm!” Loki moaned nodding quickly. Clint aimed it the way the god wanted, pushing small grunts out of him. After a few thrusts Loki couldn’t hold it in any longer. He threw his head back with a loud shout; one of his feet pointing in the air as the other rotated and his toes remained tightly curled. “YES!” he panted breathless.

Clint slowed until Loki relaxed some. He pushed it in and out slowly, his mouth moving forward to press kisses along his erection. Loki’s hand moved down to rub at his sac as Clint dragged his tongue all over it. He kissed and sucked on it, making sure to gently nip at Loki’s fingers whenever they got in his way. The god moaned and moved them lower to rub at his perineum. Barton bit at his hand.

“Stop!” Loki hissed and patted his nose in reprimand.

“No,” he said in a playful manner and then slathered the god’s sac with his saliva as he rolled and flicked his tongue around it.

Loki groaned with a smile and wiggled on the bed until he was further down onto the vibrator Clint was still agonisingly teasing him with. The archer pulled it out entirely and Loki let out an undignified gruff.

Clint crawled up his body and began kissing him. Loki blindly fumbled for the device, intending to pleasure himself while he indulged in the passionate kisses fogging up his mind. Clint grabbed his wrist and pulled it up to rest over Loki’s chest. Loki hummed and became excited, eagerly returning the sloppy hot kisses and slid his other hand down to gently stroke himself. Clint grabbed that wrist and pinned it down near Loki’s head.

The god pushed against his weight, not holding back and giving Clint a worthy struggle. It caused them to move and bump against one another more. Clint lowered his bottom half in hopes of pinning him further down, but he only brought himself close enough for Loki to wrap his legs around him in an attempt to help grind against him. It became very hot and sweaty as they wrestled and rubbed against one another. Clint let go of one of Loki’s hands long enough to adjust himself so that his length would slid alongside Loki’s instead of bumping temptingly against his rear.

Loki’s freed hand grabbed Clint’s hair, tugging his face to tilt to the side and kissed him in a manner they’d never kissed before. Clint felt Loki’s base instincts start to kick in, especially when Loki managed to roll them over and pin him down. He stared down at him, growling a little as he rocked himself over Clint’s pelvis. The archer felt his magic whisper over his body as Loki rose up a bit and leaned forward, and then the tight heat of the god as he sank down on his length.

“Shit!” Clint hissed and threw his head back. “Uh! Loki!”

Loki let out a loud sigh of relief and began moving; not really giving them both a chance to adjust.

“Loki,” Clint panted and tried getting his wrists free. Loki stared down at him, his red eyes burning with desire and curiosity. He was so gorgeous: all blue with his markings; his brilliant intense eyes reflecting his pleasures and needs; his lips parted as he panted; his hair falling around his face wildly.

The god leaned down and kissed him before he could say anything. He let the archer’s wrists go and cradled his face as he began quickly riding him. Clint grabbed his rear and tried helping to guide him into a more controlled pace. He braced his feet on the bed and began thrusting up, helping himself go deeper into the god; which was what Loki was longing for. He gasped and gave a small cry of bliss as he buried his face in Clint’s throat.

“Good?” he panted against his ear.

Loki nodded and relaxed his body so that they could go faster. “Yes…yes…YES!” he whined as their speed began violently shaking the bed. Loki moaned and panted dirty things in Clint’s ear to encourage him on. Things he’d never thought he’d hear out of the god’s mouth.

It seemed to encourage him on a little too much for Clint suddenly found himself nearer to climax than what he wanted. He stopped thrusting up and firmly held Loki’s hips still to keep the god from riding him again. “Slow down for a second,” he begged out of breath. Loki huffed annoyed over being denied what he wanted. “Come here,” Clint reasoned holding him close and rolled them over. He straightened up onto his knees and smoothed his hair back before carefully moving forward.

Loki eagerly tried to move with him, but Clint was still too wound up. He pulled out with a heavy sigh and retrieved the vibrator. Loki stopped him. “I don’t mind if you finish before I do,” he admitted. “The bond won’t either…”

Clint frowned at his words, still honestly confused over how their connection worked, yet nodded and set the toy at least closer to where they were now. “Will we be connected in the same manner? I mean I know you’ve –”

“Sh,” Loki said gently and pulled Clint into a simple kiss. “Ponder later, fuck me now,” he pleaded.

Clint lost his curiosity in trying to work out the mechanics of their bond. He pushed back into Loki and began quickly rocking into him.

Loki moaned and pulled at the archer’s hips. “No tricks, just fuck me please,” he whimpered. So Clint did and felt their bond change. It wasn’t the same as sex before their bonding or during; it was something different. It was as though he were in some sort of strange sensual fog. He was still fully aware of everything going on around them, but more aware of what was happening between them.

Before, it had been a jumbled mess of sensations from the both of them blending together in a manner where they lost where one of them began and ended; now it was more concise, almost like before the bond would take hold of them; a phantom touch or feeling just brushing against their own body. Well now it wasn’t so phantom anymore; he could feel how his hands held onto Loki from both of their perspectives; how the god wanted them to grip harder; pleasure spiralling through Loki chaotically, as well as his own waves vibrating to a different beat; his length being surrounded in hot tightness and the sharp pleasing stab of each thrust as it firmly went into him. He could feel his muscles tighten and relax as it was pulled in and out; the tickling crawling sensation of that pleasure as it worked its way up his spine. He could even feel the moment he started coming, even before he realised it was happening.

Clint swore and grunted as he continued to thrust into the god. He found the sight of him erotically pleasing: legs high in the air; one hand pushing against the head board, his other gripping Clint’s bicep tightly; body shaking with excitement; his head titled back as one of Clint’s hands gently held his neck, his other hand digging into his hip; the sound of their skin slapping together mixing with the god’s gasps as he pushed them out of him with each final hard thrust…

He collapsed after stilling for a second. Loki quickly caught him and helped him lay down on the bed properly. He pressed gentle kisses all over his face and soothed his hands down Clint’s chest. Barton hummed as he drifted between the point of exhausted sleep and being fully awake ready to take on the world.

“See,” Loki smiled and kissed his lips.

“Oh I see,” he nodded a little and then gave himself another minute to enjoy it all before he licked his lips and carefully sat up. Loki quickly turned flat onto his back, grabbing his legs and spread himself opened wide. Clint chuckled at his eagerness and picked up the vibrator. “Do you want it?” he taunted.

“Don’t tease me,” Loki warned, his voice deep and entire body radiating with pent up frustration.

Clint leaned forward and kissed him hard before he pushed the toy into him. Loki groaned gratefully, but Clint didn’t let him enjoy the satisfaction for long. The god said he didn’t want to be teased with, so Clint cranked it up, aimed, and gave it his all; which it seems wasn’t what Loki had been expecting. It was all the more reason for Clint to smile and enjoy the view.

Loki was too busy shouting and grabbing at the bedding to notice the archer’s satisfied shit-eating smirk, much less do anything else, so Clint took more matters into his own hands. He began touching Loki. Simple things: smoothing a hand here, gently dragging his nails there, whispered fingertips against certain spots he knew were particularly sensitive, and finally lightly rubbing in a slow circle around Loki’s perineum. No pressure, just the feel of the possible and Loki lost it.

He came, shaking and jerking violently, choking sobs of pleasure, sweaty and moaning as he pulled at the sheets and tugged the top corners of the bedding out from under the mattress. His trembling hands then ran along his body, his head tilting from side to side as he closed his eyes and continued moaning. His hands made their way down to his length and he slowly stroked it, jerking a little as the sensation proved to be too much to simply contain inside of him.

Clint turned the device down and continued to slowly pushing it in and out of Loki until the god couldn’t honestly stand it further. Barton turned it off and pulled it out of him. Loki gave a loud sigh, part in relief and part in sad farewell to such a wonderful sensation. He lay for a bit panting, still shivering and moaning quietly. Clint lay on his side facing the god so that he could watch him. When he had calmed enough, he turned and snuggled up to Clint, who put his arms around him and inhaled his scent deeply.

“I am tremendously grateful for evening duty,” Loki commented against the archer’s chest. “I feel as though I’ve lost the ability to move.”

“Forever?” he smiled.

“For a while,” he breathed, feeling himself drifting to sleep. He never really slept well when Clint left him in the mornings, so the exhaustion of the restless hours he’d spent tossing finally caught up with him..

“We could test that theory,” he asked, even though he too felt himself overly sated and in desperate need for a nap.

“Later,” Loki whispered and shifted just so. He used a little of his magic to bring a heavy blanket over them.

“Okay,” he yawned and pulled him closer. It resulted in Loki’s face coming too close to his underarm.

“Clinton,” he whined and push weakly at him. “I love your scent, but not directly from your armpit.”

“Why not?” he teased and pulled Loki’s face nearer to it.

“Ugh! You’re disgusting!” he laughed pushing at his chest and turning his face away. “Stop!” he laughed.

Clint pulled him into a kiss. It was simple and just what they needed. Loki smiled at him when their lips parted and drew his finger along Clint’s mouth lovingly.

“I love you,” he said and held the god’s finger still so that he could kiss it.

“And I love you.” They kissed once more before Loki settled his head down on Clint’s chest. He sighed heavily and contently. The feel of Clint’s fingers brushing against his skin made his body tingle; his breath ghosting at the top of his head made heat rise to his face; and the slow steady rise and fall of his chest in tune with the beat of his heart lulled Loki toward peaceful dreams. Clint pressed a kiss to his head and followed not too far behind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **If anyone was curious as to what took me so long:** Fuck Geek Squad!Sorry if you're a fan or work for them or related to a person working for them or whatever, but they've screwed me over and damaged my computer for the last time! *SHAKES FIST* I had to get a friend to come over and help me fix my poor baby. We pulled out plastic broken parts and screws, which weren't put in right, that were clogging up the fan; and had to re-solder a ribbon to the motherboard. It was a mess. He's not fully fixed yet, but he runs much quieter and doesn't randomly shut off any more, so yay!!!
> 
>  
> 
> ** Thank you all for being so patient with me. I know some of you are probably hopping mad and totally over me. I'm so grateful though to have you all and I hope my fiction continues to please you. **


	47. Chapter 47

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone :D! I hope you all had a great February. Kicking this month off with a chapter! Hurrah!  
> It's short like the old ones were, I know, but the next one should make up for this one's squat-ish length.
> 
> All mistakes are my own, if there is something that looks super weird or doesn't flow right, just let me know and I'll clarify and/or fix it. Happy reading :D and please enjoy!

\----------------------47----------------------

Phil was torn. As a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent, he had always known what to do; as a solider, he had always know what to do; now as a civilian, he had no clue what to do. Trust the system; trust the system; there is no system. How did normal people function!? He guessed they made their own system, but Phil had never been great at managing his own life. Managing other people’s lives? Yes, but never his own. Not even close to what he was raised to believe was acceptable for a grown man.

He sighed frustrated and continued pacing. If he was honest with himself, and he generally was, or at least he tried, he should have known what to do. He should have gone immediately to Thor. No, Thor didn't really want to speak to him, not unless he had good news. He’d have to go to Natasha for help first; unless she couldn’t do anything, then he’d _have_ to go to Thor. How would he react? If Phil were still in the service, he’d have told his commanding officer, who would have known what to do. If he were still at S.H.I.E.L.D., he’d have gone to Hill, who would have known what to do. Well…if he were still with them now he’d have to go to Wilson, but now he was getting sidetracked.

He paused his pacing and rubbed his face. He was making this more complicated than was needed. Just because there was no direct chain of command around him didn’t mean anything; but he’d grown up with rules and regulation. He’d had to. Even his stepfather, who had been a very nice and understanding man, had implemented rules and expected him to follow them.

He rubbed his face again and sighed. Why was he acting like this? Because Thor’s face upon hearing the news was…he exhaled slowly. Phil hadn’t seen someone look like that in a long time. The innocent confusion; the frustrated grasping for understanding; the quiet settling of the news; the stillness as his brain worked out how to react; the anger. He had growled at him and raised his hammer to strike at the ground before freezing. He then lowered his arm and turned his aggressive wrath into a cold silent fury that made Phil wish he’d been struck by lightning instead of facing such a hopeless looking man.

He’d failed him. He hadn’t meant to. He had this whole plan: this idea that would have been perfect if reality was a perfect thing. It wasn’t, and he should have known better. To dally in such a way, he hadn’t helped anything, only put Foster and them in greater danger. Now it was too late. He looked back at the screen and worried his bottom lip. He didn’t like it. The sudden blankness of the screen made a creeping feeling of doom, he’d learned to suppress in important situations, fall over him.

Phil hurried over to Nick’s room. He knocked on the door.

“It’s unlocked,” he called.

“Hey,” Phil said coming in.

“Hello,” he replied and set a photo, he used as a bookmark, to mark his place before closing and setting the book aside. “What can I do to help you?”

“They went out,” he said quietly.

“Pardon?”

“The signals. They all went out…at once.”

Fury was silent for a moment. “They know where they are.” He said the words softly, the words Phil didn’t want to hear.

“What do we do?” he asked, completely lost for the first time in years.

Fury shrugged and sighed a little as he thought about it. “What can we do? We don’t have any leads; we’ve had no contact with them; we’ve had no contact on the inside; and –”

“And for all we know those signals going out means they’ve been captured,” Phil said rubbing at his face. “Wait…what do you mean no contact on the inside?”

“I sent a message out before Halloween, nothing has come in. I haven’t received anything in a very long time and from the looks of it, we’re being watched. Very closely, I may add.”

“Do they know?”

“I believe Romanoff does, she’s too clever and careful to have missed the signs. The others, I doubt it.”

“So we’re alone,”

“We’ve always been alone,” he reminded sadly.

“But now we’re really out at sea without help,”

Fury nodded.

“What do we do?”

“You have the signals you’ve decoded. Try finding the frequency used for each one and see if you can’t find any more along those lines,”

He was silent for a moment. “I have to tell Thor,” he whispered. “I have to tell the others, it’s only fair.”

“Of course it is. I don’t know why you kept it from them before. Most of them know Foster and – ”

“No, I meant the other thing,”

Fury studied him a moment. “Tell those who need to know first,” he said, his voice held an edge that said he was reluctant to even talk about it aloud.

“It’s wrong not to tell Lo–”

“It isn’t,” he said firmly. “Remember what Charles said; his emotional and mental state determines if we all make it out of this thing alive.”

“But –”

“He _can’t_ know,” he said not backing down. “I agree with you though, we should inform the others him being here is putting us all in a particular situation; but we need to do it without making anything worse.”

Phil thought about it for a moment and then nodded in agreement. “You’re right, you’re always right. I hate that about you.”

“You love it,” he smiled and went back to his book as Phil hurried out of the room. He stared at the woman in the picture for several long moments before he turned it over and tucked it into the pages for safekeeping until he needed it again.

\-------------------------------------------------

Natasha pulled herself into a pull-up. She let herself come back down and then pulled herself back up slowly.

“Five-thousand four-hundred and three,” Steve counted as he sat on the mats watching her.

She smiled and pulled herself up into another.

“Five-thousand four-hundred and four,”

“Is Thor in here?” Phil called walking in.

“Nope,” Natasha said and pulled herself up into another one.

“Five-Four-Oh-Five,” Steve said impressed.

“Where is he?”

“Roof,” Natasha answered.

“Five-thousand four-hundred and six,”

“Thanks,” Phil said going to find him. He stopped and turned. “I have to tell you all something.

“Can it wait?” she asked.

“Five-thousand four-hundred and seven.”

“Not really, it’s waited long enough,”

“Five-thousand four-hundred and eight,”

“Two more,” she promised.

“Five-thousand four-hundred and nine….Five-thousand four-hundred and ten!”

Natasha dropped down and accepted the towel Steve handed her as he stood. She dabbed herself off; not that she was particularly sweaty, but because the cooled towel always felt good against her skin. “What’s up?”

Phil took a deep breath. “There is more to Loki’s condition.”

“Condition?” Steve frowned. “What condition?”

Natasha sighed heavily and nodded at Phil. “I’ll catch you up later,” she promised Steve an turned back to Phil. “Hit me with it.”

\-------------------------------------------------

Thor stared up at the night sky. It was bitterly cold out, but he didn’t mind. The clouds were thin and stretched across the night air, yet he couldn’t clearly see what he so desired: the stars. He knew they were there, yet it seemed that from the mansion’s rooftop, the lights from the city overshadowed the gorgeous heavens. He missed the roof of the tower, even though the city lights hindered the sky too. He missed the height though. It seemed more private and safe there. Out on the mansion’s roof he felt watched and on edge.

He could see the tower off in the distance; great cranes, wires, and machines hauling pieces and parts up to rebuild it. They were still now, but the sounds of their work blended with the sounds of the city in the day and comforted him, though he couldn’t explain why. Perhaps it was because he thought of the tower as a home. The mansion was a very personal place to Stark; the halls echoed with memories…many lonely and sad. The tower was personal as well, but in a different manner. It was of pride and accomplishment. The mansion wreaked of failure and, in some parts, death. It reminded him of the older parts of the palace of Asgard. The parts his father inhabited most. The parts his mother avoided unless she had no other choice.

“Mother?” he whispered, the thought of her ached in his chest. “Can you hear me?” he searched the hazy sky for an answer. He did not receive one, and knew he probably wouldn’t, yet he continued to speak. “I miss you. I miss everyone.” He looked down at his necklace in his hands and carefully traced his thumb over it. “I miss how things used to be. I long for them to return to such the way they once were. I miss the petty fights, I miss the shared secrets, I miss getting into trouble and defending one another, I miss…I miss having someone I could rely on. I want to…I want to…I feel as though I am still able to trust Loki the way I once did…yet I feel as though he does not wish me to. I feel as though he desires the same things, yet keeps himself from pursuing any sort of relationship other than the one he must. I understand why he so careful around the archer.”

Thor paused a moment and then rubbed his face. “I say the same thing every time I come up here. I do not mean to bore you so with my petty pathetic childish ramblings. I know I cannot begin to imagine what he has gone through – is still going through with Clint and what happened before…” he sighed and rubbed at his mouth a bit. “He is a good man. I…I can sense there is something though…something my brother is not telling us…and I fear that it is something none of us are prepared for…I wish you were here. You’d know what to say. You always do…”

After several minutes of silence Thor’s communication link vibrated. He looked down at it and then pushed the button carefully and set the piece in his ear. “Hello?” he asked a little uncertain still about such delicate technology in his hands.

“It’s Phil, we need to talk,”

Thor nodded and then realised his action couldn’t be seen so he replied he’d be down in a moment. He turned the device off and then held his pendant close to his mouth as he quickly and silently prayed to the Norns for guidance and strength to help Loki.

\-------------------------------------------------

Valerie marked down the activity of the lone Avenger on the roof. She noted how often he was prone to being up there alone and made a few other little notes. Sam entered.

“Anything new?” he asked.

“I think I found our pattern,” she replied and handed him a few of the papers over.

Sam didn’t want to hear that. Well he knew he had too, but he didn’t honestly want there to be a pattern. He read over the papers. Thor often stayed out on the roof by himself; there was a tiny note in the margin of his mouth moving, _was he contacting someone while up there?_ ; and the thing he _really_ didn’t want to see: a detailed list of times and dates stating how often the Avengers wandered from the mansion.

He sighed heavily. “They’re in shifts…precise in the sense of seeming random without looking overtly random. They’re taking turns going out in pairs around the city…”

“You don’t sound happy,” she observed.

“I…it’s complicated,” he finished and went to the phone. “Have you sent these out yet?”

“No,” she replied.

“Could you step outside for a moment? I need to talk to Director Hill in private.”

She nodded and rose, dropping a slip of paper before him in the process. She made it look effortless, as though she’d accidently bumped one yet didn’t notice it on her way out. Same picked it up and realised it was written backwards in tiny handwriting. He quickly deciphered it and set it back among the other papers, making it look like it was meant to belong with the others. He called Hill. They were in trouble.

“Hello?” she answered. She sounded so tired.

“It’s me,” Sam said softly. “We found it.”

“Great, send everything you have and get here as fast as you can. Leave her there to watch things until we’re finished tying up this loose end.”

“Where should I meet you?” he asked.

“Virginia.”

\-------------------------------------------------

It had been a long couple of days. A long suspicious couple of days since nothing exciting happened. No sign of any unusual thefts, break-ins, terror in the streets, or even a call to help a kitten from a tree. It was starting to get under Natasha’s skin, so everyone kept their distance from her. The only person she didn’t snap at or subject to her frustrated bored wrath was Loki. She was still nice and almost motherly to him; it sort of made Clint jealous, but he kept that emotion hidden very deeply inside of himself in case Loki sensed it. He didn’t want to start anything unnecessary.

At least the break let them get caught up on all of their personal projects and settle into the mansion further. Loki and Clint decided to put up new curtains, a deep sage green, and found that Fury knew how to upholster furniture. They bought another fabric, an elegant black with crawling large swirls in a shade just a touch lighter than the main colour of it, to help contrast the main curtains; Clint put the base of the wooden valance structure together; and they gave the materials over to the former director. He spent a full day working before presenting them with the finished product. He had taken the basic structure and manipulated the fabric around it in such a way that it ruched elegantly across the front and covered the back to prevent any of the naked wood from showing. He had even found material of the same shade the main curtains were to turn into piping that adorned and framed the fabric to give it more depth and decoration.

They thanked him with an expensive gift card to a bookstore. Clint had wanted to take him to a strip bar, but Loki firmly stated it was better to give knowledge than false hopes with a lap dance. Fury was very grateful for the card and made a list to send Natasha out with, promising she could use the card to buy herself something from the store as well.

Steve and Natasha painted their room; Thor found a painting he enjoyed and bought it for his wall; and Bruce made an effort to leave the lab and spend time with them in the evening. He also confessed he’d started growing small bamboos in his room and was trying to manipulate them into growing into usual shapes. Loki was thrilled and asked him if he wouldn’t mind making him one.

All of the normality felt too surreal; which was why one night, when Phil was sleeping peacefully, the presence of someone in his room made him start awake with a pounding heart. He quickly grabbed the hand that was reaching for his face. It was a female’s and she froze with a finger to her lips as she stared down at him. She was dressed all in black and had her face covered save for her eyes. He noticed the thin wristband on her and slowly released her as he shifted to sit up in bed.

She held out a folded sealed envelope. He took it and she hurried for his opened window. She jumped out of it before he could even untangle his legs from his covers. He rushed over to it and watched as she easily scaled the security wall and dashed off into the night. A few seconds later JARVIS sounded the alarms.

He tore opened the envelope and quickly scanned the letter. He didn’t like the way this had been presented. He knew the underground system of S.H.I.E.L.D. and such a risky strategy could only mean one thing. He realised his suspicious were correct and ran into the hall.

“Thor!” he shouted.

“It’s Nat and I,” Steve said back as he hurried to him. “Are you alright? Jarvis said there was an intruder in your room.”

“I’m fine, I need Thor. Turn off the alarms,” he said and started quickly for the Avenger’s room.

“JARVIS,” Natasha said. “You heard him.”

“Yes, ma’am,” the AI said and the alarms shut off.

“Everyone it’s a false alarm,” Steve said over the communicator. “If you hear this, it is a false alarm.”

“I’m glad I didn’t change yet,” Bruce said with a grateful sigh over the com.

“Us too,” Natasha agreed. “Go back to sleep,” she encouraged gently.

“Will do,”

Steve felt his phone go off. He looked down at it. “It’s Tony,” he said to her.

“Tell him the truth,” she replied. “It’s fair that he should know. The others can wait for it.”

\-------------------------------------------------

Phil found Thor about to close his bedroom door. “Thor,” his whispered and stopped him.

“Greetings,” he said with a yawn and then noticed the man’s distress. “What is wrong?” he asked seriously and opened the door.

“Jane,” he continued in a low tone. “We have to find Jane. S.H.I.E.L.D. is closing in on her soon. Tonight, or this morning – whatever, but it’s happening now and we have to go.”

“How do you know this?” he asked a little suspiciously.

Phil knew he had every right, especially after he’d filled him with so many false hopes and broken promises. He held up the letter. “It’s a message.”

“Who is that?” he asked confused.

“It’s a picture of Pocahontas. She is a well-known historical figure who lived in Virginia many years ago. This is what set the alarms off. Maria wouldn’t have sent someone directly here if something wasn’t about to happen. We have to get her now.”

“Let me get a shirt,” Thor said and hurried to pull on the one he had abandoned earlier. He picked up Mjölnir and followed Phil out.

They met Natasha, Steve, and Fury in the foyer.

“What’s going on?” Natasha said coming up to them.

“Jane is in trouble,” Thor said with a serious face.

Phil handed Fury the message. “I’ve got it memorised,” he said and patted his shoulder.

Fury looked down at it. “Who brought it?”

Phil shrugged and slipped on the shoes Steve handed him. “If I didn’t know better I’d have said Natasha.”

“Carter,” she whispered and narrowed her eyes. “This means it’s bad.”

“We’ll get them,” Phil promised and pulled on a sweater as he and Thor went to the door.

“Don’t you want something warmer?” Steve asked.

“Nah, we’ll be fine,” Phil said and shut the door behind them. Thunder rolled overhead and lightning darted across the sky. There was a crack as the blinding white light struck something nearby and then the sound of rain as it started to sprinkle the roof.

Natasha let out a sigh as the storm continued, yet knew it would subside soon. “Well, we’ve had no action for a while, what did we expect?”

Steve shrugged and then looked at Fury. “Is it bad?”

“It could be…” he said honestly.

Natasha rubbed her neck. “I guess we should prepare him finding her, huh? Make-up a few rooms; get a few things up from downstairs to help them settle in; set a list of things we can’t and can discuss around them; have plans for awkward and possibly hostile situations?”

Steve rubbed his face. “Yeah…I guess…”

“I’ll tell Clint, you tell Banner,” she said patting Roger’s shoulder before she headed up the stairs.

Steve gave Fury an imploring look.

“Don’t look at me, I’m not his friend; I only live here under sanctuary,” he said in a manner that suggested you couldn’t pay him enough to break that bad news to the scientist.

\-------------------------------------------------

There was a knock on the door. Loki sat up suddenly. Clint rolled over with a groan. The knock came again. “A moment,” Loki called and tossed his covers off quickly. He grabbed the pair of pants he’d taken off several moments ago and slipped them on before going to answer the door.

The light from the hall made him squint and shield his eyes. He blinked and realised Natasha was standing before him fully decked out ready for battle.

“What is the matter?” he asked, hiding his worry.

“I need to speak with Clint,” she said.

He nodded and let her in.

“Hey,” Clint said sitting up when the light was flipped on. “Loki what – ?”

“We need to talk,” she said seriously and then apologetically added over her shoulder, “alone.”

“He can listen to –”

“No Clint,” Loki said holding up a hand. “It’s fine. I’m thirsty anyways.” He grabbed a sweater from off the back of a chair and closed the door behind him as he left. Steve passed him.

“Hey,” he said with a nod avoiding Loki’s gaze.

“Hello,” he said and watched him curiously.

Steve stopped at Banner’s door and knocked on it. The scientist answered. “Hey have they –”

Steve held up a hand and squeezed in to the room without saying a word. Bruce looked around and spotted Loki. He gave a half smile and hurried after Rogers.

Loki frowned confused at their behaviour and then shook his head. It was probably nothing. But what if it was? It wasn’t, he decided. He yawned and went off to the kitchen. He came upon Fury coming up the stairs. He was staring down at a piece of paper with a heavy and troubled expression.

“Fury,” Loki nodded in polite greeting. The man ignored him. The god paused and watched him as he disappeared around the corner muttering to himself. He didn’t think he had been ignored on purpose, for the man seemed very preoccupied, yet he couldn’t stop the creeping feeling from entering his mind. The fact that Fury had gone down their hallway and not the one leading back to his room was even more worrisome.

Worrisome? Why would that be worrisome? He was allowed to roam the house just as much as Loki was. He shook himself, wrapped the front of his sweater more around him, and entered the kitchen. He decided on tea instead of water. It would help calm his nerves. The darkness was stirring within him and the uncomfortable crawling feeling, as well as the nagging sensation, and need to be cautious of everything was starting to make him shake.

He quickly put a kettle on and rummaged through the cabinet, taking his time, reading the ingredients and sniffing the packages until he found one that calmed his mind. It was a simple blend, but full of wonderfully delicious scents: lavender, chamomile, liquorice, hibiscus, lemongrass, orange, rose, and a few others he could barely smell to place a name too. He found a simple green one as well and put both bags in a large mug. He waited until the water was nearly boiling before he removed it from the heat and poured it over the bags.

It activated the herbs inside and he inhaled the steam deeply, watching as the clear water turned to an incredibly pale purple before the green leaves took over and tinted it to a light golden colour. He let the green seep a little longer than what he normal let it, before pulling it up and left the herbal one in. They always took a little longer to infuse the water, and he wanted those flavours to be the main star in his cup. He put the bag on a small plate in case he desired another cup. Something told him he should wait down there for a bit.

He sighed and took his mug into the living room. He could feel the chill in the floor boards under his bare feet. They didn’t make his feel cold, as he suspected a normal human’s would be, no, the feel of the autumn crispness under him gave him an odd comforting feeling. He wanted to feel sick by it, but he knew that it was just biology. Jötunns…The northern plains of their planet was a dark frigid one; he suspected the inhabitants there had mutated to conform and live among the harsh biting winds and the gathering thick ice.

He sat on the sofa and used the remote to turn the television on. The sound had been turned down to nearly nothing, so he bumped it up several notches until he could hear it. He sat back and watched the evening report. They were discussing the upcoming weather. He rolled his eyes, as if they knew. Humans and their egos…

He sighed again and brought the mug up to rest at his lips. The fragile ceramic was burning against his lips. He inhaled the steam again deeply and relaxed as they droned on and on about the coming snows. It apparently was due to start tomorrow. Loki felt the earth around him. It wouldn’t snow for another week at least. Rain, yes, but snow? No. They were due for a late winter. It would be hard too. He should inform the others of it, make sure they were prepared themselves.

The report changed to speak about an apparent problem. It seemed to be a serious issue, for a very serious looking old man spoke directly to the camera. His tone and look reminded Loki of Odin and it made his stomach twist.

_“…reports of the mutant attack is still coming in. We now know that there were five of them, and that they intent to harm those inside of the bank.”_

A small picture in the corner showed a group of people dressed in black, laughing and smiling triumphantly as others scurried and cowered around them.

_“If you all remember, we covered the Super Human Registration Act that was being reviewed by the committee at the end of September. There were cases made for and against registering mutants. Famous billionaire, Anthony Stark, appeared in defence, along with Dr. Reed Richards and his team. Dr. Xavier, who is a notorious mutant support figure, was nowhere to be found at this event, prompting many of us to wonder if he’d given up on the cause. That was until Director Hill, who is in charge of a United States service relief organisation that gives aid to countries around the world, explained that the professor was a war criminal and has been gathering intelligence against the country for decades. She noted Mr. Stark’s involvement with the terrorist attack on New York earlier this year, and mentioned several others: Dr. Robert Banner, a former gamma-radiation specialist; Dr. Erik Selvig, an astrophysicist and his assistant researcher Dr. Jane Foster, a Particle Physicist, were among the few named at the hearing.”_

There were a few short clips of key things that occurred during the hearing. It seemed to Loki that they had been edited to suit the anti-mutant crowd. His suspicions were confirmed when the man returned to speak further.

_“Claims were made that people, believing themselves gods, lead the terrorist attack. I have with me here correspondent Michael Samson. Mr. Samson, what is your take on all of this?”_

_“Well Matthew,” said an old wrinkled comfortable looking man with a glum expression. “If you all recall watching the live feed from that attack, Stark’s tower was directly in the epicentre.”_

A tiny window popped up showing a distant view of that day. Loki hurried to change the channel. The darkness rose within him so suddenly he fumbled for the remote. Tea sloshed over the side, burning his hand and knee as he leaned forward. He began shaking so badly he forced himself to set the mug down and calm a bit.

The station he landed on was a cooking one. He watched as the old woman, he recognised her accent to be Italian, although she didn’t use the same amount of vowel sounds to the ends of her words as the woman at the restaurant had, made a zucchini frittata from scratch.

He watched her work; the sound of her voice was soft and the way she spoke about the food made him feel almost loved. She obviously loved what she did and it reminded him of his mother. He put a hand to his chest as it ached. He could feel his necklace under his sweater and he took it out to rub at. Centuries of worrying and rubbing at it had worn a small impression into the back. Good thing Thor had made it so thick or else he’d have worn a hole through it already. His thumb traced along the smooth slightly concave imprint and he closed his eyes.

He missed her. Deeply, greatly, profoundly…his need for her was immeasurable. He felt it must run as deep as wide as Urðarbrunnr. He winced…that was probably a blasphemous thing to think. He hoped he hadn’t been impious to think such. He apologised to the Norns and then reached for his tea. He felt a touch out of balance with the world. He hadn’t been keeping to his normal rituals and it troubled him that he did not find it odd or…troubling.

He drank the fragrant liquid. It was a little bitter but still sweet enough for his taste. It was also the perfect temperature so he indulged in several more large sips before pausing to hold it close to him again.

He watched as the woman presented the now finished frittata. It looked wonderful and his mouth watered. His stomach growled a bit, but he knew it was still too early in the morning to eat. The time was…he tried to reach for it in the universe yet several numbers popped up at once at him. He looked to the clock on the wall. Just after three. He could wait a few more hours, his body would be fine.

He continued to drink his tea, trying to ignore the fact that Clint had been alone with Natasha for a while. It was so early in the morning, what could have – no, it wasn’t his business. If it was, Clinton would tell him, but only when he was ready to. Did it have something to do with the alarms going – no, Steven had said it was a false alarm. Though there was a part of him that highly doubted Stark would allow such a defect to run in Jarvis’ systems. He seemed to favour the AI greatly. Loki wouldn’t doubt if he updated and ran checks on him often to make sure he was always working correctly. He seemed to treasure him, and Loki was curious why.

Time slipped on and Loki felt the shifting of the world. He began to grow worried. He’d finished another cup and still hadn’t felt or heard anything from Clint. Perhaps they had already finished speaking and he was waiting in bed for him?

Loki snorted as he shut the TV off and rose to put his cup away. Knowing Clinton, his intention would have been to wait for him, but in reality he would have fallen right to sleep. He decided he’d go up and check on him. He brought two glasses of water with him.

He had just entered the hall when the door to Bruce’s room opened. Steve stepped out, followed by Fury. The older man opened his mouth to say something, until he noticed Loki. He shut his mouth and nodded to Steve.

Steve nodded back and looked into the room and nodded at, Loki guessed, Banner before shutting the door. Fury hurried down the hall and away as Steve went to his room. He watched him and noted that Steve was trying very hard to hide the fact that he was watching him too. Loki looked away and then jumped as Steve’s phone went off.

The solider jumped as well and he hurried to answer it. “Hello?”

Loki heard Pepper’s voice on the line.

“Yeah,” he said and quickly retreated inside.

Loki frowned as he caught snippets of “Jan” and “water” and “Pocha”. Loki felt it again, this time it was stronger: something _was_ amiss. Something everyone else seemed to be aware of but him and it seemed they were making it that way. He turned to look at his bedroom door and took a few steps forward. He could hear little mumbles between Clint and Natasha. Nothing he cared to pinpoint out, for he had said he’d give them the privacy, so he decided to go find his brother. It had been a long time since they had conversed. It was odd to Loki that the thunder god preferring to spend his days alone now. He hadn’t gone out hunting for Jane, and Loki wondered if his low spirits and lack of effort in trying to find her rested in his last failed attempt. Loki figured it was his turn to try and make amends between them.

He set the glasses of water near his bedroom door and went to stand before his brother’s. After taking a moment to prepare himself, he knocked. It had been a gentle one, so he was surprised when the door unlatched. At first he expected Thor to swing it open, as if he had sensed him coming, or the more likely scenario would be that he had been heading out and they were going to bump into one another. When his brother’s face didn’t great him he realised he must have forgotten to take the time to properly close the door. Their latches on Midgard were very different to the ones on Asgard. They were tiny and often the clicks too soft for one to be certain it had closed.

He peeked inside. “Thor?” he whispered. No one answered. It was dark. Thunder whispered somewhere off in the distance. Loki flipped on the light and found the room empty. No Thor, no Mjölnir.

Loki knew what was going on. He turned the light off and shut the door quickly. His brother had left to find Jane. Then why had the alarms gone off? Had his brother left in such a hurry that it accidentally triggered them? He looked down the hall where Fury had gone and then down to where Steve’s and Bruce’s doors lay. His eyes finally came to land at the bedroom Clint and he shared.

He wanted to be angry at them; however, he quickly reasoned they were keeping whatever it was from him for a good cause. They didn’t want to outcast him; they had made that clear for a long time that they valued him in their lives. Then what? They must have wanted to help him. With what? What could be so secretive that everyone could know but him?

The darkness bubbled up. _They do not trust you,_

“They do,” he whispered and hugged himself. He realised then what it must mean. It was about him. They were talking about him.

 _You are too dangerous,_ the darkness reasoned. _So they must keep secrets._

“They are trying to keep me safe,” he said closing his eyes. “Clint wouldn’t hurt me. Clint promised he’d never hurt me,” he rubbed at his face as he slid down the wall. “Clint promised.”

_He lies…_

“He promised,” he said clinging to that truth while the rest of him reeled in chaos.

_He lies. He has always lied._

The door to their bedroom was yanked opened and Clint looked around the hall. He spotted Loki and went to him.

“Hey,” he said kneeling before him.

“He doesn’t lie,” Loki whispered franticly, not yet aware of the archer’s presence.

_He does. He does not trust you._

“He trusts me,” Loki said nearing the edge toward hopeless sobs.

 _He is lying to use you…_ It sang.

“Loki?” Clint said gently shaking him.

Loki jumped startled and grabbed at Clint. He looked at him and then away completely mortified. The darkness slithered back into its own shadows. “Clint?” he whispered, his brows furrowed in panic and fear.

“Yes?” he said.

He closed his eyes tightly. “Do you trust me?” he asked after a moment of consideration.

“Of course I do,”

“Would you lie to me?”

“Never,”

“Do you think I’m dangerous?”

“No,”

“Are you using me?”

“What?” Clint asked now becoming confused. “Loki what –”

“Just answer me!” he shouted at him, shaking Clint a little in his desperation.

Clint calmly took Loki’s hands from his shoulders and held them. “No,” he said softly. “No Loki, I would never use you.” He kissed his hands. “I love you,” he whispered.

“What is going on?” he begged, feeling on the point of tears again. “Have I done something wrong?”

“No, no! You haven’t done a thing,” Clint said honestly. He wasn’t going to sugar coat or pretend anything was other than what he knew, and he sure as hell wasn’t going to hide something like this from the one he loved. He had promised to always tell him the truth, even if it meant upsetting him sometimes. “Jane’s in trouble,” he explained. “Thor and Phil went to go try and get her. If he can, he’s going to bring her here, but she won’t be alone.”

Loki stared at him, waiting for him to finish.

“She has these two friends…Darcy and…Selvig,” he said. “Remember, we talked about this possibility a long time ago?”

Loki knew why they were all being secretive now. “They’re coming here?” he asked in a small stunned voice. The darkness began cackling.

“They may,” he said. “We don’t know. We don’t even know if Thor will come back with Jane. I don’t want you to be unprepared, but everyone didn’t want to say anything until they were sure this time and they wanted me to tell you. I know stress brings out the darkness and makes it worse, so we’re doing this now.”

Loki took a moment to let the news fully settle in. “I’ll leave,” he said after a moment. He nodded more sure of his decision this time, “I’ll leave then.”

“What?” Clint frowned and then sighed. “No, no! That’s not what –”

“I did a horrible thing to Selvig; something that he is right in never forgiving me for.”

“I forga–”

“Yes you have, but you are different. Your situation was different than his. His was –”

“Loki you’re not going anywhere. If they come here, you’re staying right here with me, because _this_ is where you belong, with _me_ ; just as I belong with you,” he said in a firm and finalised tone. “I’m not going to let something trivial from the past come between us all now. You’re a member of this team and part of this family. You have sanctuary here and I’ll be damned if I let him try and tell you otherwise.”

“Same,” Natasha said as she leaned in the doorway.

“Then why were you keeping secrets?” Loki whispered suddenly becoming prey to his insecurities. The darkness chuckled victoriously and slithered around in him.

“We weren’t trying to,” Natasha said honestly. “We were working out ways to handle them being here, and how to tell you. That’s why I came to talk to Clint. I knew him telling you this news was better than anyone else doing it. I know we’re friends, but you don’t trust me like him,” she gave him a small understanding smile. “Clint said you were outside the door, but then he said he felt the darkness, and now we’re here.”

“They thought you knew about Jane and Selvig working together,” Clint continued. “but they realised that you were under the assumption that your brother would only be bringing Jane back. We didn’t want to cause you more stress. I know that it causes the darkness to act up.”

“You’ve said that already,” he snapped a little irritated.

“Well we weren’t even sure they were coming and…” he sighed heavily, “I’m sorry. I’m _really_ sorry. I should have told you the moment I found out.”

Loki looked into his eyes and then held the sides of his face as he felt for the truth. He found that Clint was speaking it and he relaxed a bit.

“Are you okay?” he asked touching Loki’s cheek with one hand.

Loki nodded a little and swallowed. His throat felt dry and his stomach was uncomfortably hollow now.

“Come on,” he said standing and pulled Loki up too. “Let’s go back to bed.”

Loki stopped and refused to budge. “Is there anything else you’re not telling me?” he asked seriously.

“S.H.I.E.L.D. is after her, that’s why Thor went now,” Natasha said. “We don’t really know why they’re after her, other than we guess it’s because she knows Thor personally, and Selvig is connected with you and the Tesseract. We were contacted directly by an agent. They wouldn’t have done it if it wasn’t going to be a big operation.”

Loki nodded. “So I should prepare myself for discord.” It wasn’t a question; it was a statement, for he knew that such a thing was inevitable, no matter how hard he tried for it not to be.

They nodded reluctantly, feeling the same way.

He relaxed a little and felt dizzy. “I think I should lie down,” he confessed rubbing his forehead. “Would you mind getting the waters? I’m afraid if I make any sudden movements I’ll –”

“I’ve got it,” Natasha promised and moved out of the way so Clint could lead him in. They returned to the safely of their bed. Natasha set their glasses down on a side table and hung around long enough to make sure Loki was settled comfortably. She wished them pleasant dreams and shut the door.

Clint slipped his arm around Loki, who snuggled up to his chest. “Are you still doing okay?” the archer asked after several minutes.

He took a moment to answer. “I believe so.”

“I didn’t mean to upset you,” he said honestly and felt like an utterly worthless piece of shit for hiding something like this from Loki for so long. He’d yelled at the god before about doing just that to him and there he was doing it to Loki. Damn was he awful.

“I know,”

“I thought…my hypocrisy isn’t fair; regardless of what I did, I thought I was protecting you.”

“I know.” He turned his face and pressed a kiss to Clint’s chest. “I am grateful for your concern.”

“It’ll be alright,” he said optimistically.

“How do you know?” he fretted.

He shrugged, “It always is. Things always work themselves out for the better in the end. Even if we can’t see how they will be good, especially at the time things are happening, they always work out.”

Loki considered his words and then kissed his chest again before settling down. It didn’t take long for him to fall asleep with the feel of Clint’s warm arms around him and the steady thumping of his heart below his ear.

His dreams though where troubled and full of evil. In them, he was constantly running down a long corridor to save someone, yet never made it in time. He woke after each failed event in tears and cold sweat with Clint sleepily soothing him back to peace and sleep. A voice kept whispering to him from the darkness of his dreams: _It's almost time..._ it said and the unknown, yet somehow familiar, voice made the darkness within Loki become excited. _It's almost time Loki...remember what you promised..._


	48. Chapter 48

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone. I'm really sorry I haven't posted in forever. I had some health problems and then my sister spilled milk all over my computer. I'd have asked Alice to post for me, but she's currently unplugged in Africa doing awesome things and none of my other friends care for this pairing. I think things have calmed down enough in my life so things are back up and running and I've got several chapters lined up.
> 
> Thank you all so much for being so patient with me. I know me coming and going and leaving you all hanging like that is super unfair and annoying, but I appreciate it. All mistakes are my own and if something doesn't sound right, just let me know. I hope you enjoy it!

\----------------------48----------------------

Thor landed and carefully set Phil down. It took a moment for the mortal to regain his balance, and he did puke from the speed at which the god had decided to travel.

“Apologises,” Thor said as he helped Phil stand up.

“No, its fine,” he said spitting and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. “We don’t have much time. Let’s go,” he said.

It was raining. It seemed as though it had been before the two had made it to the southern state. Hard cold sheets, which felt like large buckets being dumped on their heads and sharp bee stings on their bare skin, poured down around them as lightning barely danced in the sky. It wasn’t a full blown lightning storm, for not even a whisper of thunder rumbled after a small flash went off at the top of one of dark miserable clouds, and it wouldn’t be either; the storm’s climax had come before they’d arrived. Thor could feel the skies descend in to something calmer. It would take a while still before all of it would completely pass, so they dove right into their mission while they still had the cover and time.

“Is this close enough to where you wanted?” he asked.

“Yeah,” he nodded. “From now on, we have to be extra guarded and not say anything to give us or their position away. I don’t know what kind of gear they’re using to track them or try and find us.”

“I’ll follow your lead,” Thor said.

“That parking lot,” he said pointing to one two parking lots down. “The one in front of Yankee Candle, that’s where we need to get to.”

Thor nodded and they continued forward at a brisk walk, so as not to draw attention to themselves. There were a handful of people ambling around the parking lot coming off graveyard shifts or coming into work. Phil motioned for them to keep as normal as they moved around looking for a car. He found the one he was looking for and took his Swiss Army knife out. He used the corkscrew to jab into the space under the handle and popped the lock out of place. He carefully opened the door and slipped inside, hurrying to cut the right wires in time.

Thor stood guard. He felt bad for doing such a thing, yet he knew Phil would make it up to the owner. He heard a small chirp and looked at the car.

Phil had just disabled the alarm in time.

“Hey Mike!” someone called off the distance. Thor looked and found some man waving at him from afar.

“Wave back,” Phil hissed.

Thor waved back.

“Congrats on the new baby!”

“Thank you,” Thor said. Thankfully the person turned and continued on inside. Thor looked down and found Phil was now trying to start the engine. He tapped the two wires together and it came to life. He sat up in the seat properly and hit the unlock button for Thor to get into the passenger’s side. He put it in drive and pulled out of the parking lot.

“Don’t worry,” Phil said. “Jasper, owes me anyways, so he won’t turn us in for jacking this. Besides,” he looked over at Thor and then silently mouthed, ‘His idea anyways’.

Thor nodded and buckled up as they came to a red light. Phil pushed a button on his Army knife and the light turned green. They drove forward. Every time the light turned red, he’d push the button and it’d change back to green.

Thankfully, there was still hardly anyone on the road due to the hour, and the weather was starting to get worse again, so their odds of running into any sort of heavy traffic were highly limited. That didn’t stop a sleek black van from pulling out behind them after a few miles. It followed them from a safe distance.

“Damn,” Phil hissed. “S.H.I.E.L.D.”

\-------------------------------------------------

“A what?”

“A cat,” he shrugged. “Do you want to get one?”

“I feel this place is too small for a cat,” Loki advised as he poured hot water into his mug. He felt exhausted after his restless night and wanted nothing more than to sit in silence with a book and possibly snooze between chapters. As much as he loved Clint, he didn’t feel up for dealing with anything too arduous. It was already too taxing keeping the darkness at bay, the thought of entertaining something wild or overly exiting really put him in a slump.

Clint frowned and stared at him. “How…how big are cats on Asgard?”

Loki looked at him confused. “How big are cats on Midgard?”

“Like this big,” he gestured with his hands a rough size for an average cat.

Loki looked at his hands for several seconds before he furrowed his brows. “As a kitten, but once it grows we would have to make sure it wouldn’t eat anyone or tear up the house.”

“Earthian cats are like this big when they are born!” he exclaimed pointing to his first finger.

“That’s…frighteningly tiny.”

“But they’re cute!” he gushed melting and then frowned. “Wait, what? How big are kittens on Asgard?”

“Newborns are about that size,” Loki replied pointing to the watermelon on the counter. “Perhaps a bit larger? Now that I recall, that melon looks rather small compared to the one I once had as a child.”

“One: that’s fucking awesome. Two: we’re totally getting an Asgardian cat one day. Three: Please can we have a cat or two?”

“I’m assuming this is a fight I will not win?” he smirked a little.

“Fight? Are we going to fight about this?” he asked innocently.

“Not at this time; however, I don’t feel we are…” he bit his lip. Looking up he inhaled deeply searching for the right words.

“We are what?”

“Give me a minute,” he said and rubbed his temple in a tired manner.

“If you’re not a feline lover you need to tell me now, because I _can’t_ spend the rest of my life with someone who won’t let me have at least one cat.”

“I never said I wouldn’t, this –”

“Then what’s the problem?” he pressed impatiently.

“Clint, let me –”

“I am! I just need a simple answer.”

“This isn’t a simple matter!” Loki snapped slamming his hand down and then froze. His face morphed into guilt and he set his mug down gently. “I’m sorry,” he whispered looking at his hands as he fiddled with them nervously. “It’s only…having a pet is a very…intimate thing. It’s a huge step and…I…I don’t know…if…we’re…If I’m ready for that.”

Clint blinked several times at him as he felt something shift along the bond. He made a grunting noise of disbelief as he realised what was really wrong. “You think I’m going to abandon you.”

“I never said that,” he said quickly.

“But you feel that,” he said angrily. “Loki, I’m not going to leave you if we get a cat! This…this has to do with your kids,” he finished gently as the gravity of what he was asking versus what the god had lived through set in.

Loki rested his palms on the counter and didn’t look at him. “Yes,” he replied after a long tense moment of silence.

“Loki, I won’t leave you. I don’t know what happened all of those other times, but come storm, sickness, fish, cat, or a child of our own, I won’t leave you.”

The god tensed and flinched. “A child of our own?” he breathed as though the thought was either incredibly painful or had never occurred to him.

Clint felt it was both. He went up and put his arms around him, kissing his shoulder. “Yes…y’know I know we briefly spoke about it before and I kind of understand the shifting thing, but if you don’t want to do that we can adopt. I hear it’s not so bad. Maybe we can…save someone from having to deal with what I…had too,” he swallowed and looked down at the floor a little uncomfortable with the turn their conversation had taken.

Loki smirked and turned his head, melting from his unease into the archer’s loving hold. He pressed his lips to his forehead for a moment before resting his against Clint’s. “I…I know _you_ wouldn’t leave me. It’s…there is a part of me that still fears this is all a dream. I don’t want to go too deep or be so involved only to wake up and find myself still falling or worse…” his voice trembled as it softened.

Clint held him tighter. “I won’t let that happen.”

“Please stay real,” he begged in a whisper.

He kissed him and then nuzzled at him to get his face up so that he could press their lips together several times in short encouraging sessions. Loki turned and wrapped his arms around Clint with a sigh of relief as their kisses lengthened. Their mouths opened a bit and tongues sneaked into play. He sighed a little louder than what he meant to. Clint hummed as his hands smoothed down Loki’s sides to his waist.

“Alright!” Natasha shouted just before she entered the kitchen. “Break it up or get a room!”

They pulled back and smiled at one another.

_So we’ll talk about this later?_ Clint asked biting his lip as he looked at the god eagerly.

Loki smiled and nodded surely. He wasn’t getting any younger and if he wanted to move forward he couldn’t dwell on the past. _Yes._

_Tomorrow?_

_It’s soon,_

_Fine, we’ll talk about it the next day._

Loki chuckled a little. _No, Clinton, my ‘yes’ was for my final answer. Yes I…I will adopt a cat with you._

Clint blinked at him stunned. _Really?_

“We have news!” Clint announced and then kissed Loki excited and turned around to face Natasha.

“What?” Tasha asked pulling the fridge opened stiffly and grabbed out two beers as Steve and Bruce came in from their practice. Her face said she was not in any mood to be messed with, but her voice said she was fine.

“We’re expecting,”

She dropped the bottles in her hands; thankfully, Steve was close enough to grab both before they hit the ground. She stared at them wide-eyed. “Excuse me?” she breathed as she felt her blood pressure rise.

“Loki and I are going out tomorrow to adopt a cat,” he smiled at them as they let go of each other. Loki stepped behind the archer and picked up his tea with a pleased smirk. It soon faded though, for the silence that followed wasn’t entirely what he had expected.

“Are you sure about this?” asked Bruce moving forward, finally snapping out of it to speak.

“Yeah, why?” the archer replied.

“It’s a –”

“We know,” he groaned annoyed and leaned against the counter.

Loki gave the scientist an apologetic smile. “We have already had this discussion about how important and intimate this step is for us. Thank you for your concerns though.”

“If you’re sure,” he said with a nod. “What do you plan on getting?”

“Something cute,” Clint muttered as he rolled his eyes.

Loki looked at him with a fond smile and then turned back to address Bruce. “We are still uncertain. I am not…familiar with the felines of this realm. Whatever one we find, I promise it will not grow larger than a melon.”

“Ha!” Bruce laughed. “I hope not. The big guy’s…huh?” he paused as if someone had said something. He then rolled his eyes and shook his head. “You’re being oversensitive. It was just a joke,” he muttered to himself.

Loki blinked at him and then looked at Clint with a questioning look. Clint mouthed ‘other guy,’ and pointed to his head and then made the ‘cuckoo’ gesture. Loki lightly smacked his arm with the back of his hand in reprimand. The archer pouted up at him. The god smirked and leaned in as if to kiss him and then pulled back at the last second, further teasing him. Clint glared at him.

_You’ll pay for that._

_Will I?_

_At least act surprised._

_It would give you too much satisfaction._

_I’ll get it later._

_Will you?_

_Keep it up,_

Loki chuckled and shook his head. _I thought you said you wanted a cat?_

_I doooo-oh no you are_ not _!_

_I might._

_Take it back._

_Take the suggested threat back!_

Loki only laughed again.

Natasha seemed to come out of her stupor by then. She inhaled, deeply and sharply and then left the room without looking at them or saying a word.

“I hope we didn’t upset her,” Loki said apologetically and bit his lip worried. He could sense something was very off by her energies.

“She’s…she’s just preoccupied today,” Steve explained. He gave them a supportive everything-will-be-alright smile. “Congratulations,” he said to them sincerely, before setting the beers down on the counter and went off after her.

Loki watched him leave and then noticed Bruce was observing them. He realised the way they had acted toward one another before Natasha left must have appeared bizarre.

He knew Bruce had been watching them communicating with the bond; taking mental notes of their posture and the way they looked at one another as they had their silent conversation.

When Bruce noticed Loki observing him observing them he coughed and cleared his throat embarrassed. “Yes, congratulations.”

_Something’s up,_ Clint said suspiciously.

Loki glanced at him. _How do you mean?_

_Natasha doesn’t act like that on a whim…_

Loki was about to reply when he heard a whispered, “Fascinating…”

Banner had pulled out a scanner to study them.

“Bruce,” Clint said in a sharp warning tone.

“Sorry,” he said apologetically. “Sorry, it’s just…I couldn’t help it,” he tucked the scanner back into his pocket.

Loki laughed and nodded understandingly and offered, “Perhaps another time?”

\-------------------------------------------------

“Natasha!” Steve called following her. “Natasha, stop!”

She did, halfway to their room. She clinched her fists and exhaled carefully. He came up next to her.

“What is wrong? You haven’t been this edgy since we arrived at Stark’s Tower.”

She felt her panic and worry bubble up and she hated herself. She had become so comfortable around Rogers that she couldn’t keep a cool face when she needed it most. She wanted to tell him – no she didn’t want to tell him anything. She wanted to give him a blank controlled look and walk away, but out of habit she gave in and shared her fears. “Phil…” she started, and fought to keep herself together. “It’s Phil and Thor.”

“What’s wrong? What happened?”

“I don’t know; I just have this feeling. It isn’t good.”

“It’s okay,” he said pulling her into a hug and rubbed her back. “Phil is one of the cleverest and most able-bodied people we know. He can get them out of anything. And Thor? He’s a god. I’m sure they’re fine.”

“I can’t do anything for them here,” she whispered ashamed and frustrated. “What if they’re stuck? I mean it’ll be the first time I’ve ever heard of Phil being stuck and needing back up, but he’s not alone this time, and he just…” she bit her lip.

“What?” he asked her.

She shook her head. “He just…he hasn’t been the same…”

“Oh,” he whispered realising what she meant. “Well…he went through a lot. We all did. None of us should be the same after the alien invasion.”

She sniffed and fanned her face trying hard not to cry. “I feel like such a… why am I crying?” she sniffed again and wiped her eyes.

“You’re worried for your friends,” he reasoned.

“I’m better than this,” she said putting herself down. She _was_ better than this. She shouldn’t have been crying over something like this. There were no excuses for tears.

_“There are no excuses for tears!” she shouted in her face as she hit her with the metal baton again. She felt it strike her thigh and something inside her broke. There was so much pain._

_“Natalia, are you crying?” the woman sneered at her. “Natalia, answer me!”_

“Natalia?” he asked concerned.

She jerked back into the present and took a step back from him. She stared at him; looking him over for a moment, just to be sure it was really him, before she rubbed her face. “I need to work out,” she whispered and hurried off without saying anything else.

Steve sighed heavily and headed back to the kitchen. He passed Loki and Clint on the way and exchanged a few more positive and supporting words. Clint looked pleased, but Steven could tell Loki knew something was up. Steven knew he was a horrible liar at best. He hurried on before they could question him about Natasha.

Banner was sitting at the island looking over one of the bottles.

“That kind of day already?” he asked as he picked up a bottle and opened it without the need of an opener.

“Yeah,” Bruce nodded and held his for Steve to do the same. They cheered the bottles and drank.

“Is she alright?”

“No,” he shook his head. “She doesn’t know what’s up, but she doesn’t have a good feeling about it.”

“Yeah, I’ve learned to trust her feelings about things,” Bruce said and looked down at his bottle. He took another long drink.

“Yeah…”

“You didn’t tell Loki and Clint,” he said knowingly.

“No,”

“So…what do we do?”

Steve shrugged. “We wait?”

Bruce nodded. “Their bond is getting stronger,” he commented.

Steve looked at him and then swallowed his mouthful of beer carefully. “I thought it was already pretty strong.”

“It is, but it’s getting stronger.”

“Do you think they know?”

“I’m sure Loki does. I’m very certain if he can’t already feel it, he at least knows more about bonds; it’s part of his culture, remember? He might not have lived through one before, but he knows what they’re made of and how deep they run.”

“Natasha said he has to go back in the spring,” Steve whispered.

“Is it to take care of the darkness Phil told me about?”

“No, it’s part of the deal Thor made. I’m not supposed to know,” he added.

He held up a hand. “I get it, complete silence on the matter.” He zipped his lips. “Are we just going to let him go?”

“We have to,” he said.

Bruce rubbed his face. “It’s odd…part of me is upset at him having to go away…and another part is trying to remind me that we were just fighting him the other day as aliens rained down on New York.”

“I know,” Steve nodded. “It’s like we’ve somehow known him forever…”

“I guess that’s part of the bond too,” he shrugged taking a drink.

Steve shrugged. “Regardless…I hope the others are okay.”

Bruce wanted to say something comforting, yet they both knew it didn’t matter. Nothing mattered until it was confirmed. So they waited.

\-------------------------------------------------

Phil checked the dash again and then the mirror. “They must be installing more than one tracking device in their vehicles now.”

“How much trouble are we in?” Thor asked looking behind them.

“Eh,” he shrugged. The van started firing at them. Thor and Phil slumped down in their seats. “We might be in a bit more of a little,” he reasoned and sped up.

“Should I slow them down?” Thor asked holding up Mjölnir.

“Save it for now. I have a question I need answered,” he said as he sharply turned into a subdivision. By S.H.I.E.L.D. protocol, firing in a neighbourhood was strictly prohibited, until target was considered an immediate threat. It worked: they stopped firing at Thor and Phil yet increased their speed to keep pace.

“What is all of this for?” Thor asked gesturing behind him toward the car.

“Well,” he sighed as he tried remembering all of the twists and turns in the subdivision. “Two things really; one: they are either trying to slow us down so that we don’t make it to warn and save Jane in time, or two: they don’t know exactly where she is, so they’re intimidating us to try and lead them directly to her. I know the message showed they had a rough idea, but I’m not certain if they pieced it together fast enough.”

“Which is it?”

“I’m not certain yet, give me a few minutes and I’ll let you know,” he said and floored it as he sharply turned right and then left and sped down the street. He turned right again. “I think it’s a third option,” he admitted.

“Yes?”

“I think they’re getting close and need more time, so they’re distracting us to get us to feel desperate, so we’ll just race there and not cover our tracks and they can follow us. Don’t worry though, I’ve got a plan.”

“Yes?” Thor said holding on as they made another sharp turn.

“I’m going to throw in a decoy. We’re going to abandon the car, and I’m going to rig it so that it keeps going.”

“Alright,” Thor nodded.

“We’re going to have to find another car, but not right away. We’ll have to run for a while. If you try and take us anywhere using Mjolnir we’re going to be spotted. Here,” he said giving Thor the wheel. “I need you to keep us going while I work something out. Good thing about S.H.I.E.L.D. cars: everything is electronic and connected,” he chuckled pleased.

Thor tried has best to steer the car as Phil pushed his seat all of the way back, hunkered down, and started cutting at some of the wirers. The lights in the dash went out. The radio spontaneously came on. The light on the dash flickered back to life. Phil knocked his head and poked a wire into his finger as he twisted two together. The radio cut off. He found the right wire. He clipped it and straightening.

“Thank you,”

“No problem,” Thor said. “I hope I did well enough.”

Phil looked around and realised Thor had been driving in a left, right, left, right pattern. The next left they should have made would have landed them face to face with S.H.I.E.L.D. agents. Thankfully, Thor had been smart enough not to turn. They drove right past their blockage and kept straight.

Coulson smiled at him. “Good job.”

“Thank you; my brother taught me that trick,” he said proudly, yet his heart ached a bit.

“Okay, are you ready for this?”

“Yes,” Thor nodded.

“I need you to jump and roll, I’m going to swerve the car to not hit you.”

“Alright,” Thor said.

“We’re going at a fast enough speed that when we turn next, they shouldn’t see you fall out. Roll into the ditch as fast as you can and stay there until I find you. Okay?”

“Yes,” Thor said and did a well-meaning salute as he stuffed Mjölnir into a tiny pocket in his shirt. The hammer’s magic allowed it to shrink and be safely stored on his person; it was one of the few bonuses to having the honour of wielding it, and he thought it was one of her cleverest abilities he loved best. Then he could always keep it on his person for a surprise attack, or in cases like this, so he wouldn’t take himself out or stop himself from rolling properly.

“On three,” Phil said and sharply turned right.

Thor unbuckled himself.

“One,” Phil said turning again.

Thor put his hand near the door lever.

“Two.” Phil increased the speed a little.

Thor could see where he was getting ready to turn and shifted as close to the door as he could.

“Go,” he whispered and turned. Thor threw himself out the door and rolled for the ditch. He felt the tires just brush against his legs as he spun out of the way and down into the large wet ditch. He heard Phil speed away and a few seconds later another car charge past. Thor stayed very still in the mud. The sounds of night surrounded him.

Thankfully he had landed on his back so that he could see whoever approached his hiding space, and the skies. The rain had died out a bit and Thor could see the stars between breaks in the clouds. They were a welcoming sight and soothed his aching heart. The sky to his left was lightening, which meant dawn was approaching. Thunder rumbled overhead and he lost himself to looking at the twinkling stars between the dark clouds.

The sound of someone in wet shoes on slippery soggy ground caught Thor’s attention. He slowed his breathing and gripped Mjölnir through his shirt.

Phil’s face popped up over the edge. “Hey,” he whispered.

Thor smiled with a relived sigh and sat up.

“We lost them for a bit,” he said and reached a hand out to help the god out. They laughed at the state of their clothes and then hurried in between the houses. They darted like shadows from one street to the next until they were back on an opened road. Across the way was another neighbourhood: Governor Berkeley Road off of Longhill. It was a good thing they had abandoned the car, for S.H.I.E.L.D. had blocked off sections of the neighbourhood, hoping to eventually cut them off and trap them in.

They kept near the tree line and skirted past the houses and a field or a park of a sort. They tried to avoid any harsh lights and open spaces, even going so far as to dodge between trees and main road until their cover ran out. They hurried across and found more houses and trees. Several minutes later they found another subdivision with some coverage and a road to cross, then back into the trees. There were lights head in the next subdivision, so they back tracked a little and found a space down southwest that they could slip by. They heard people moving around them in the brush and they tried matching their speed and sounds with the people around them in the dark.

The sounds died away and they were left running through the forest again. They slowed for a few minutes to catch their breath.

“What is that sound?” Thor whispered carefully and very close to Phil.

“I think there is a road ahead,” he replied.

They came to it. It wasn’t too wide, but the traffic was decent, even for such an early hour. They both realised it wasn’t as early as what they thought it was any more. Time had slipped quickly past them. They hurried to cross it and continued on into the woods. Hopefully if anyone saw them they would think they were just two weirdos jogging in the rain. A little ways in they stumbled upon a trail.

“Matoaka Trails,” Phil sighed and smiled. “We must be near the lake or heading toward it.”

“Water is good,” Thor nodded. “It’ll help wash away our scent from dogs.”

“They have dogs?” Phil asked.

Thor frowned. “Could you not hear them?”

“Christ Thor,” he sighed and they started heading along the trail away from the sounds of traffic. They didn’t meet anyone on it, but then again on such a chilly and rainy morning they didn’t think they would. They spent about half an hour jogging down the trail. They didn’t talk and kept a close ear and eye out for anything that clued them in on S.H.I.E.L.D. being nearby, but the birds were fussing over the weather and a few bugs had started to make noise in agreement. The canopy above blocked most of the rain out, which only made them miserable and cold.

Phil’s watch went off and he looked down at it and frowned. “That can’t be…” he whispered.

“What?” Thor asked.

Phil looked around and then stepped off the trail and followed the arrow on the face of his watch. “It says they’re over here?” he said confused.

Thor got excited and hurried to follow him. They went all of the way until they came to water and then looked around. Across the way was some building. It looked important so Phil guessed it belonged to the college. He looked around and found a small abandoned looking boatshed covered in veins. It was tucked a distance away off the trail yet was still too far to be noticed right away from the water.

“What is it?” Thor asked.

“It says they’re in there…”

They approached the broken-down overgrown shed and spent a few minutes walking around it, looking for a way in.

“Doors are covered,” Phil observed and pulled at the thick veins.

“Perhaps there is an underground part?” Thor said hopefully. They both were hesitant about raising their voices to call for Jane and her friends. The chance that S.H.I.E.L.D. was nearby was too great to threaten their safety.

“Let’s look,” Phil decided and they both quickly began pulling the thick veins from in front of the doors. Thor cleared a spot and kicked one of them in. He held his breath as the dust cleared.

Inside, they found three rusted out boats and one in fair condition. Old junk littered the back and nets, nearly gone from age, hung from the ceiling like ghosts. Glass littered the floor from a busted out window on the side.

“This is recent,” Phil observed as he inspected it. He found a small watch covered in wires and chewing gum. There was also a tiny bead set into the gum. Phil pulled it off and looked it over.

Thor took the watch and looked around, anger bubbling inside of him. “You said this was it.”

“I didn’t actually. My watched picked it up as we were passing by. It’s frequency is on a different channel and everything. We were lucky to find it. I don’t ever have my watch set to that channel. I must have knocked it when I rolled or something,” Phil explained calmly and noticed something inside the bead. He pulled a hairpin out from his pocket and pushed at it. It was a very tiny and thinly rolled up piece of paper. “I’ve found it.”

“What?” Thor said bitterly. “Another clue to another dead-end?” he tossed the watch down dejectedly.

“A note,” Phil said and unrolled it to find coordinates. “They’re not far,” he said. “I need a map to get a better location.”

“Your devices can’t do it?” Thor asked.

“It’s best if we stay clear from technology like that. Knowing S.H.I.E.L.D. they’ve hacked everything on the east coast.” He bent down and picked up the watch, pulling at some of the wires to disable it and then popped it opened and used the metal hairpin to reprogram the inside. “We’ll have to get to the other side of the lake though.”

“How large is the lake?”

“A decent size, but it’s shaped in a funky ‘y’; I think we’re at the very top of one of the ‘v’ parts; William and Mary is on that side,” he said pointing across the way to the building. “Something just tells me they’re not on that side though.”

“Well, we have the coordinates, we have boats,” he said gesturing to them. “We will find a way to rescue them.” He nodded becoming optimistic.

Phil inspected the better of the old boats. “It’ll leak, but it’ll be a slow one,” Phil said. Thor nodded firmly and they pulled it out with as little noise as possible. They grabbed two of the better looking paddles and hurried to the lake. Phil took the watch and reassembled the wires in a different order and turned the knob until it began softly beeping again. He then took several large steps out into the water and threw it hard. It went flying up and across to the other side of the lake, sticking itself in the mud a decent distance from the shore. Thor was impressed by the distance it travelled.

“That should throw them for a bit,” he said and climbed into the boat with the paddles as Thor pushed them into the water. He walked it out until the water was mid-thigh level, and then hopped inside. He could see where Phil had meant it to be a slow leak. Several spots on the sides were trickling little spirts of water, and the storm from above was plinking and filling it from the inside.

“We need to hurry,” Phil whispered to him. “S.H.I.E.L.D. will start sweeping this area soon.”

Thor nodded and took up a paddle and together they pushed and steered themselves through the choppy stormy lake. They kept a safe distance out, occasionally ducking down when they spotted lights in the distance. The boat was low enough and dark that it would have taken someone a while to spot it in the hazy grey light and even though they were cold and miserable, they were thankful for the cover of the storm. Thor knew some of it was his fault, but realised after a while when he had calmed down that it must have been raining before they’d gotten there.

Twenty minutes down the lake, the boat had taken a sizeable amount of water on. Phil used a cup he had found stuffed under his seat to try and dump some of it out. Thor continued to paddle and steer as best as he could.

“How much longer?” he asked in a hushed tone.

“A couple hundred more feet?” he guessed. “I can’t really see.”

Thor nodded. “If we leave the boat to sink, they will not be able to trace which direction we abandoned it for shore, yes? We should leave it until we can no longer navigate and then swim?” he offered.

Phil considered it and then nodded. “We’ll do that,” he said and retook up his paddles.

The storm started to pick up again and the boat filled at a faster rate. The water was almost over their seats when the two of them decided to abandon it. Thor patted his chest to make sure Mjölnir was still safely tucked away and then followed Coulson out into the dark waters; both of them pushing at the bottom of the boat to let in more water to further its path to the bottom of the lake. They swam until they found shore.

“There,” Phil pointed when they reached the shallows. “That’s the cross. We’re directly at the centre of the ‘v’.” Thor nodded and they swam across to the other side. There were shouts a distance behind them. Phil and Thor swam faster.

“Damn is Fury going to hate that he missed this one,” Phil chuckled as they quickly hurried through the mucky clay and up into the treeline. Thor laughed as well and they hurried on. They took a short break to catch their breath.

Phil was right; this was, by far, the craziest trip they had been on. Much more thrilling and bizarre than when they had to squat in a dumpster in Michigan for an hour to get a couple of S.H.I.E.L.D. scouts off their backs. The homeless man in there had been completely insane, but he was a kind soul who had just been unfortunately abandoned. He gave them nicknames and let them hold his cat, Muffins. She was a ratty toy cat that they hadn’t the heart to tell him wasn’t real. The man had even shared his war stories and a meal he’d gotten from the shelter that afternoon. It had been the most interesting experience Thor had ever had, and the thought of the old man huddled shivering with his toy cat and his one good meal a day in a paper bag in his dumpster palace made his heartache.

His thoughts turned to other things: his excitement about finding Jane; he fear of his brother’s condition worsening; his understanding for why Phil had lied to him…he frowned getting a little upset over that last one. Jane’s life was in danger. He had sworn to protect her and return to her…he wouldn’t fail those promises, even if he did have to twist the last one on a technicality issue. At least the last few places had been very close; only missing them by a few days. The burger joint in Kentucky had at least remembered Darcy, but they had mentioned other men had come asking about her and the others. Thor knew they were running out of time then and it would be up any second now. They had to get to them before it was too late.

_We will,_ he decided. He gave a start as he felt something move in his pants. He reached in and tossed a tiny fish out of his front pants pocket.

“Sorry friend,” he said as he let it go into a rapid of water running back toward the lake. “I hope you return home safely.”

Phil waited until Thor was ready and they started up again. Thor was impressed at Phil’s speed and stamina. He had never seen another mortal run with such precision for such a long period of time without breaking a sweat. It hit Thor that he had, but it was only one other: Steve, and he said he had been enhanced by the government.

Thor glanced over and looked at Phil as he leapt over a fallen log. He didn’t even have time to calculate and adjust his speed; he just went with it and landed without care. Thor wondered if Phil had let S.H.I.E.L.D. perform experiments on him just as Steve had.

“There,” he said pointing ahead, pulling Thor from his thoughts. Thor looked forward and, sure enough, houses greeted them.

From the feel of the air, and the light coming from behind the clouds, Thor reasoned it was just after full dawn. The darkness was no longer their friend and from the foliage covering overhead again, the rain wouldn’t wash away their tracks immediately. It seemed the autumn season did not affect Virginia in the same manner it did in Michigan and New York. Thor was curious how a whole realm was not subjected to the same weather and seasonal patterns. He suddenly remembered the two hemispheres of Jötunnheim: the north and the south: Frost and Rock. One had a mild climate that felt like a constant spring, and one was desolate and bleak.

It was something else he was going to have to ponder upon later though, for they’d made it to the treeline. A few people were outside in their drive ways so they ducked down and waited until they left. Phil checked the coast and walked up to a car. It was a newer Honda model and he found it unlocked. He rolled his eyes and sat in it, checking the visor. Sure enough a set of keys were in it. There was also a map in the passenger seat.

“This is either a trap, or southern comfort at its finest,” he muttered and put the keys back. He left the door slightly ajar, for fear that shutting it would alert someone, and went to the next house. That car, a tan Buick, was unlocked on the passenger side and there were no keys to be found.

“Safer?” Thor asked.

Phil checked for any signals, tracking devices, or bugs with his watch and found it all clear. He nodded and climbed in. He looked through the glove box and found a map. “Here,” he said giving it to Thor and then got into the driver’s seat. “I’m going to put it in neutral, push me down the driveway so we don’t alert the other houses.”

Thor nodded and went around to the front. He waited for Phil to give the signal and he easily pushed the car as a child would push a wheeled toy across a wooden surface. Phil steered it and then motioned for Thor to stop. They had successfully navigated it down the driveway and around the way from the original owner. Phil got out and opened the map. He took the piece of paper he’d safely tucked away and carefully unfolded the damp thing. He scanned the map and then pointed. “There.”

Thor looked. “Where are we?” Phil pointed. Thor found the lake they had just crossed. He could see how Phil thought it looked like a “Y”, but he personally thought it looked more like a tree. “That is not far,” he decided.

“No it’s not,” he agreed and folded it up. “Come on, it’ll be too light soon and I know they’ll be looking for us. Thor nodded and hurried into the car, closing the door as softly as he could. Phil pulled at the wires under the stirring wheel and prayed that the two wires he was touching together were the ignition and not the alarm. He wasn’t an expert when it came to Buicks.

“Trouble?” someone asked. It was an old man, walking his chocolate lab.

“Just an old Buick,” Phil laughed. “The brake pedal is stuck.”

“Not from here?”

“No, visiting family. They warned me that it would do this.”

“You’re all wet,” he laughed as he came toward them.

“My brother and I didn’t check the weather before we left for our morning jog,” he explained and thankfully found the right wires. “Thor,” he hissed. “Turn it.” He quickly tapped the wires together as Thor pretended to turn the key in the ignition. The car started. “There,” he laughed and quickly got in. “Got it.”

“Didn’t know the brakes kept the car from starting,” he frowned at them.

“I’m not great with Buicks,” he admitted. “Do you know if that way and a right is Canterbury? Or that way and a left?” he asked pointing forwards and then backwards.

“Canterbury is that way,” the old man said pointing off behind them.

“Okay, I got stuck there last time. I forgot it was a dead end,” he laughed. The old man laughed too. “Have a good day,” he waved.

“You as well,” he smiled and backed up so they could pass.

Phil hurried to put it in drive and took off. “See?” he said as they passed a street sign. “Told you it was ‘Mill something’.”

Thor looked just in time to read: _Mill Neck Rd_ , before they turned left onto _Bayberry Lane_.

“I hope she is well,” Thor said suddenly, not meaning to speak aloud.

Phil glanced at him and then nodded. “She’s tougher than she looks. I’m sure she’s fine.”

“This is all my fault,” he sighed and rubbed his wet and muddy face. “I shouldn’t have destroyed the Bifrost. If I would have just kept my cool I could have found a way to figure everything out…perhaps I should have told my friends to return. They did go against Loki and Odin’s wishes.”

“Thor,” Phil said kindly. “Why are you stewing over this now?”

Thor shrugged. “I am worried my broken promise with cause her anger. I have this image in my head of how I want it all to happen. I appear in bright lights and flashes of lightning. I walk up to her and take her in my arms. I kiss her and tell her I have returned for her. She is excited and holds me close, telling me of how she missed me and I tell her of how I missed her. We go to Asgard, I show her my life and my world, we return to Midgard and she shows me hers, and we…” he shrugged again, “just live. We live and speak of science and magic and the realms and…” he sighed heavily. “Reality is not so easy or kind.”

“No,” Phil agreed and slowed as they approached the main road. He looked both ways and made a right onto Jamestown Road. “No it’s not, but…there are some things that are better left for the movies. Maybe your reunion will be a little bumpy, but it’ll be better than you hope for. Perfection isn’t always the best.”

Thor hummed his understanding and fiddled with his thumbs. The storm lessened, leaving the skies a warm light grey and the rain turned to fine sprinkles on the windshield.

Phil turned right near a CVS and a SunTrust Bank. “I’m taking a way that will add a few minutes but I think it will confuse S.H.I.E.L.D. if they’re following us, is that alright?” he asked.

Thor nodded. “Yes, whatever you think is best.”

Phil turned left onto VA-5 W. A little more than a mile down, he turned onto State Route 615 and continued on 681.

“We’re almost there,” he said as he turned right near a 7-11.

“We’re back on Jamestown Road,” Thor said noticing the signs.

“Yeah, they’re kind of in the middle of nowhere, but not really,” Phil explained and checked his waterproof watch. It was a quarter to seven am. Wow was he suddenly exhausted. No matter, they’d soon be heading back toward New York and then it was a long day of rest for him.

Phil slowed and turned his blinkers on, waiting for two little cars to go past before he turned left and pulled over on the other side of the grassy median. He turned his hazards on and put the car into park.

Thor hurried out and looked around. Across from them, on the side of the road they had been on, was a neat white fence and what looked to be an entrance to a subdivision. Thor wasn’t sure. The drive was a darker colour than the rest of the road though and he could see a house just a short way past the fencing. He turned to look behind him. There were just trees and bushes.

“Jane?” he whispered and started into the greenery. Phil hurried after him. It felt like a long walk as they pushed aside branches and brambles. They stumbled upon a rough clearing. There was a house ahead and the road.

“Deeper,” Phil said pulling in back into the woods. They must be further south.”

Thor nodded and they went back a bit before moving down again. They found another small clearing and this time it was what they were looking for.

“Shit,” Darcy said as she scrambled up from where she had been setting up to build another tent next to the camper. She grabbed a baseball bat and tried flipping the floppy hood of her raincoat back up out of her face. “Don’t come closer! I’m armed!” she warned and swung the bat a little.

“It’s us,” Phil said holding his hands up where she could see them. Thor mimicked the action.

Darcy finally flipped the hood out of the way and smiled. “Oh my god it’s you!” she cheered happily and ran toward them for a hug. “We’re saved!” she threw her arms around Phil’s neck. “How the hell did you get here so fast?”

“What do you mean?” Thor asked confused.

“I just went to change the signal yesterday. We’ve been moving around a lot, and I didn’t want you to miss us. S.H.I.E.L.D. saw we were in the area so we’ve been unplugged roaming the countryside hoping you’d find us soon.”

“Well we would have the last few times, before you came to Virginia, but you move so fast,” Phil laughed and then pulled her back so he could look her over. “Are you all right?”

“Darcy I –” Jane began as she stepped out of the camper and froze. She stared at Thor for a moment and then shut her mouth and shook herself.

“Jane come look!” Darcy called and waved her over. “We’re saved!”

She looked Thor up and down and then slowly moved toward him.

Thor took it as a sign that he should move as well, so he began walking to her. He felt his heart lift into his throat; he could feel the drying mud pull on his skin as he smiled; and he reached his arms out to her as he went to begin the speech he’d prepared.

Her hand came up and slapped him hard across the face. Thor was so shocked he took a few steps back and held his cheek. Wow, she could pack a punch!

She seemed surprised by her own actions as well. She recovered though. “I – I just…wanted to know if you were real or not…I…” she sighed and licked her lips before giving him a hard look.

“I am,” he nodded and then stepped toward her. “Ja–”

She slapped him again, this time in anger. “Where were you?” she demanded, her temper just starting to rise again.

“Where were you?” he shot back.

“I was where you left me! I was waiting, and then I was crying, and then I went out looking for you, and then your brother came to enslave the world, and then I cried some more, and – You said you were coming back!” she snapped finally and poked him in the chest.

“I know,” Thor apologised. “I know, but the Bifrost was destroyed. The nine realms erupted into chaos; wars were raging, marauders were pillaging. I had to put an end to the slaughter.”

Jane looked as though she were considering giving in to his hopeful and sincerely apologetic look. “As excuses go…that’s not terrible,” she said and then suddenly became angry again. “But I saw you on TV! You were in New York!”

“Jane I fought to protect you from the danger of my world but I was wrong not to come to you when it was finished…I was a fool…” he said and took a step closer to her. He set his hand upon her face and lowered his voice for only her to hear. “I believe fate has brought us together.”

She stared up at him, her bottom lip trembling. Darcy made a face and took a step back from the both of them. Phil looked at her curiously. She pulled him back a step too.

Instead of bursting into tears, which is what Thor and Phil had expected, she burst into a loud rage. “How are adoring fans a danger of your world!?” she shouted. He took a step back completely confused. He was way out of his element. He’d never seen this sort of fire in her before. He wasn’t sure if he should drop to his knees and cower or fight her like he would Sif. “Do you know how many times a day the news plays you signing autographs and laughing and dressing up as stupid half-naked cavemen!?” she asked pointing back toward the camper. “Do you know how hard it is having to sit and watch you smile and have a good time and know that you had once looked me in the eyes and promised me you’d come back to me. You promised me!” she said stomping her foot in a childish manner to emphasise the level of her disappointment. She stood there panting for a moment. They both looked at one another. “And you didn’t,” she finished weakly and turned away.

Darcy hurried over to her and pulled her into a hug. “Sh, it’s okay Jane. It’s okay.”

Phil went over to Thor and set a hand upon his shoulder.

“I’m sorry,” Thor said honestly. “I’m sorry, Jane I’m so sorry. I don’t have a grand enough excuse explaining why I took my time. The truth I can give, though you may not enjoy it.” She didn’t say ‘no’ or indicate for him to be silent so he continued. “After the battle my brother was taken into custody. I returned home with the Tesseract so that my people could rebuild the Bifrost and put the realms to peace. I spent those days helping them until I could find the time to return here. I had every intention of seeking you out first, yet I found my brother’s situation was critical.”

“The brother that tried to destroy the world?” Jane said rudely.

Thor winced. “It is a long complicated tale. I know you’ll understand –”

“So your murderous brother was more important than –”

“He was dying!” Thor shouted angrily at her. Jane shut her mouth and stared at him. He flinched realising what he’d done and rubbed his face with a heavy sigh. “He was dying…I promised my mother I’d bring him home safe, I made a bargain with my father to help prove he had not acted of his own free will when he maliciously attack the city. Since the Avengers were able to come out into the open there has not been a day that I have not spent it searching for you. Sometimes I’d leave my comrades after a hard battle and fly to a location Phil had given me to look for you.”

“Oh so it was you,” Darcy said looking at Phil impressed.

“Guilty,” he smiled.

“I don’t care,” Jane decided. His words didn’t excuse anything.

“When I was locked away in Stark’s Tower I was going insane thinking about you. I counted the days until I was able to start my search again.”

“Why did you have to wait?” Darcy asked. Jane gently hit her shoulder. She didn’t want Thor to know she was also dying of curiosity like Darcy.

“My brother was taken by S.H.I.E.L.D. and held prisoner. They tortured him cruelly. I had to ask the Avengers to help assist in his rescue. We broke from S.H.I.E.L.D. and needed to remain in hiding until he was well enough again.”

“And just to clarify, this is the brother that enslaved and nearly killed Selvig?” said Jane in a snippy manner.

Thor opened his mouth and then realised he didn’t have a good enough explanation for it all with the time they had. “It’s complicated,” he said.

Jane sighed, rolling her eyes, and went into the camper. She didn’t want to hear any of this. She was torn between wanting to throw her arms around him and drag him to the floor as they kissed and continuously yelling and slapping him. She was starting to get a headache.

Darcy waited a moment after Jane had left. “She’ll be fine,” she promised. “It’s been a really rough couple of months and…she’s going through a lot of things.” Phil and Thor nodded their understanding. She walked over to Thor, “But look at you,” she said and poked his wet chest and then nervously pulled her hand back with a smile. “Still all muscly and everything. How’s space?”

“Space is fine,” he said with a kind smile.

“Good,” she said nodding her head. “So, Selvig is out…he went to get some food. The farmers do this trust system thing where they leave their produce just laying out on tables or carts, and you weigh and bag what you want, and put the money in a locked box. It’s pretty nice. The south is a little too trusting and slow for my tastes, but hey! We haven’t gone hungry because of it.”

“We need you to call him back,” Phil said. “It’s an emergency, in fact it’s kind of the reason why we’re here.”

“Why what’s wrong?” Darcy asked worried. “Am I about to become part of some underground organ market? Because I’ve got an overdue library fine and I don’t –”

“S.H.I.E.L.D. is on their way here,” Thor interrupted her. He felt bad for interrupting her, but they were running out of time and with the storm passing there was bound to be helicopters searching for them from the air soon.

“What?” Darcy jumped and blinked at them shocked. “What do you mean –”

“All of S.H.I.E.L.D. has been searching for you. Your capture is their number one priority right now, and someone finally figured out your codes and decided to check-in,” Phil explained.

“I know I said we were spotted.”

“But we were contacted this morning with a warning from someone on the inside. They’ve narrowed the field down, and for all we know we’re just sitting while they’re surrounding us.”

“We were already followed and attacked by some,” Thor added.

“And you came here!?” she gasped upset at them and then started panicking.

“We had to warn you,” Thor explained apologetically.

“You probably lead them here!”

“If one of their agents snuck into the mansion and personally handed me a clue to your loc–” Phil began.

“Ladies!” Erik called as he came hurrying through the brush. “We’ve got company!” he came far enough in and stopped upon seeing the other two. “Oh…Thor, hello,” he smiled and held out his arms to him warmly.

“Dr. Selvig,” he said giving him a hug. “Good to see you.”

“Great to see you too, but um…” he pointed behind him. “Did you drive a blue Honda here?”

“No it was a tan Buick,” Phil said.

“Well then we have unwanted company,” he muttered and hurried to the camper. “Have you seen Jane?” he asked as he opened the door.

The other three nodded: Darcy with a look that said: don’t make us explain; Phil with a: it was an adventure to behold; and Thor rubbed both sides of his face with a wince.

“I thought so,” he laughed and went further in. “Jane dear,” he said patting her back. “Come on, honey, we’ve got bad company coming.”

“Thor is already here,” she sighed not wanting to get up from her bed and notes.

“I know, isn’t that great? He can keep us safe from the S.H.I.E.L.D. agents. I think we’re being surrounded.”

“What?” she said sitting up.

“Yep, come on, start packing the important things. We have to get out of here.”

“But everything is important,” she cried and started gathering her things into a bag.

“Well we’re just going to have to take the _really_ important stuff. Darcy!” he called.

“Coming,” she said hurrying forward.

“How can we help?” Phil asked following her.

“Uh, be look outs?” she suggested as she climbed into the camper.

“Here,” Erik said handing a bag down.

“Got it,” Phil said and set it next to the camper. “Do you have an escape plan?”

“Running has pretty much been it,” Darcy said honestly.

They quickly helped unload the camper and put what was absolutely needed into the back of the Jeep.

“How far down the road is your Buick?” Erik asked.

“Straight that way,” Phil pointed.

“I’ll bring it through the back road. That way we can save a few more things.”

Phil nodded and gave him the keys. He pulled out his waterproof phone and sent a message to Natasha. It was simple and short. _Found them. Trying to leave. We’ve been found._

“Why can’t we just take the camper again?” Darcy asked as she lifted a computer tower to Thor.

“It’s too recognisable,” Jane explained.

Phil started checking around the area. Everything felt too still and quiet. The birds had stopped chirping. He felt all of the hairs on his body stand on end and was about to say something when suddenly there was a loud booming sound and Erik ran past him.

“They’re here!” he hissed as he raced into the camper. Suddenly the area around them was under fire.

\-------------------------------------------------

“These are cats,” Clint said holding the screen before Loki. The god was lying naked, as usual, in bed reading something from a screen. He quickly shut it off, but Clint caught a glimpse of some sort of necklace. He wondered if Loki was looking for a gift for Natasha.

Loki looked at the surface. “They are so small!” he exclaimed shocked and sat up.

“I know right? Extra adorable,” he said giving the screen over for Loki to scroll through.

“How do we find one?” he looked at him and then back to the screen of the various different breeds.

“Well…I’m a huge fan of adoption, and there are several rescue shelters in the area…let’s,” he shrugged not really wanting to finish it.

Loki could feel it though: _‘Let’s rescue something no one wanted, because we both are somethings no one wanted.’_ He smiled and offered his lips. Clint eagerly dove in and kissed him. “I love that idea,” he admitted against Barton’s mouth.

“I knew you would.” They laughed.

Loki set his darkened screen onto the side table. “They are fairly small; will they be able to keep up with us as we journey home?”

Clint chuckled and sat on the bed next to him and leaned over to scroll down the screen and show him more. “No, pets aren’t generally allowed many places here. Dogs are different; if we were to walk them then yeah sure, but cats on Earth have been domesticated to the point that they shy away from loud noises or too many people. We can go to each shelter via the subway or walk around until we find one we like and then get a car to pick us up.”

Loki nodded. “I enjoy this idea,” he smiled setting the screen down on his stomach and stretched a bit. “We haven’t been out walking in a while.”

Clint blinked as he realised how true that was. “You’re right.”

“Of course I am,” he frowned and picked up a book to read. “When am I not?”

The archer rolled his eyes as he took the screen back and scooted further onto the bed, pushing the god to move aside so he could curl up next to him. Loki began playing with his hair as they both lost themselves to their own devices. It was a while before Loki smirked and let out a small laugh.

“What?” Clint asked as he clicked another video to watch, this one had several cats swimming around in a bathtub.

“I was just thinking, why should we get a cat when you make such a great pet already?”

Barton sat up a bit and smacked Loki’s stomach, causing the god to bust out laughing as he grabbed at the archer. They began to wrestle, Loki trying to give him apologetic kisses, which quickly turned into fierce kissing, that lead to groping. Loki turned blue and shivered as Clint’s mouth pressed to his throat in a long loving kiss to slow things down between them.

“I love you,” Clint said looking at him and tucked some hair behind the god’s ear.

“I love you,” he replied and kissed him. They sighed and shifted against one another as they indulged in kisses. The tension built up and slowed down and built up again; each sensation rolling in Loki like waves on a beach. The need for some sort of relief almost hurt at times, yet the sharpness of it would prick and then ebb away into a dull tingling want that set his heart aflutter.

They kissed and moved slowly against one another; their hips rolling together as their hands explored at leisure. Clint pulled Loki’s leg to wrap around him and turned them on their side. Loki hummed remembering the last time they had sought sexual gratification in that position. Another sharp stab of need landed in his stomach and he moved to press himself as close to Clint as possible.

“I love that noise,” the archer whispered and brushed Loki’s hair back from his face again. He sighed as he kissed him and ran his hands down his body. They found Loki’s backside and he greedily cupped it and groaned a little.

Loki moaned again and wrapped his arms around Clint’s neck. He could feel something troubling him, so he pulled back to look at him. “What’s wrong?” he asked concerned.

“Sorry,” he confessed a little sheepishly. “I was…I was just thinking about Natasha. I’m worried.”

Loki nodded understandingly and brushed some of his fringe from his forehead. “I am worried about her as well. Steven seemed a little on edge and carefully guarded when we last spoke.”

“Yeah…I think something’s going on,”

“I do as well,”

Clint sighed and gazed at Loki, taking in his beautiful features.

“What?” he asked a little self-consciously.

He smiled and gave a small shake of his head. “Nothing…you’re just…you’re so beautiful…”

Loki felt his face heat up and he covered part of it with a hand bashfully.

Clint’s smile widened and he leaned forward to press a kiss to his hand, and then his nose; taking his hand gently away as he kissed his forehead, around the one side of his face and down, landing last his lips. “Is that why you were looking at something for her?”

“Hm?” he frowned confused.

“The necklace?” Loki’s eyes widened for a second. Clint mistook his physical gesture and the feeling of being caught, with a dash of impending doom, as a sort of guilt. “No I think it’s sweet you’re doing that for her. I’m not upset at all. I’m actually really happy. I think she’ll like it.”

Loki was silent for several moments as he decided on if he should tell him the truth or not. He decided to go along with what Clint thought to be the truth. “Would…would you care to help me look for one?”

“Yeah I’d love to,” he smiled. “If you want me to though, I mean I don’t have to be in on it just because I know. If you want to keep it personal and all that’s fine.”

“No, I’d love for your help. I…I don’t know her as well as you do. You’ll know what she’ll like.”

“Something simple. Natasha’s always been one for simple and practical, but I know she’ll keep any gift she’s given.”

“And you?” Loki chanced with a small bite to his lip.

Clint leaned forward and kissed him. “You know I’ll appreciate and accept anything you give me.”

Loki smiled relieved then. He sighed and brought their foreheads together. Clint stayed there for a moment before turning his head and began pressing kisses to Loki’s neck.

“You have training soon,” he reminded and supressed a soft moan.

Clint whined annoyed at being reminded of his responsibilities. Loki knew better though, as much as he wanted to stay with him, his work was also important. Though he noted to himself how its favour was slipping daily.

“I’ll call in sick,” he said and gently sucked on his skin.

Loki tilted his head and held Barton’s face to him. “Jarvis will know.”

“He won’t tell on me,”

“Actually, I will sir,” JARVIS said, in an apologetic tone no less. “You asked for me to remind and hold you to this obligation.”

“I overrule it,” he said and kissed the red mark on Loki’s skin.

“An overrule can only be authorised by Natasha Romanoff,” he reminded matter-of-factly.

“Who made that up?” he snapped at the ceiling.

“You did, sir,”

Clint huffed and buried his face in Loki’s neck and shoulder. “I don’t want to…” he whined.

“The faster you finish the faster you and I may continue this,” he pointed out.

Clint sighed. “I hate when you’re right.”

“Only in moments such as these,” he reminded with a smile and returned to his pale form.

Clint’s fingers traced along his thigh, as though he could still see the pattern of his birth-lines. They tingled under the surface and Loki tried very hard not to shiver. Clint pressed kisses to the space behind his ear and nuzzled his jaw with his nose.

Loki smiled and tilted his head invitingly for more.

“You tempter,” he whispered.

“Your one and only,” he replied and played with the back of his neck.

Clint paused for a moment and Loki knew he was about to bring something serious up. “Do you really want a cat?”

Loki turned his head to look at him. “Of course I do.”

“I mean, do you _really_ want it? You’re not just doing it to make me happy or whatever?”

Loki inhaled and exhaled deeply and heavily as he looked for the words to answer him. “I cannot…I cannot let those things, the parts of my past that hurt the most, control the parts of my future that I have yet to experience. I want to be able to share with you my life, and I want you to share yours with me. Besides,” he smiled and brushed his fingers down the side of Clint’s face. “It’ll be nice to have someone to snuggle with and keep me company when you’ve left me for training and whatnot.”

“You’re welcome to join my training,” he said pressing a kiss to Loki’s chin.

“We’ll both never get a thing done and may even be banned from ever being alone in the same room again,”

“Only if we get caught,” he nearly sang and kissed another spot on his chin.

Loki laughed and pushed a little at him. “And you call me a tempter.”

Clint hummed as they pulled away; his eyes alight with mischief and passion. It made Loki shiver with delight. He stretched as Clint rose. The archer groaned and leaned down to press kisses to his stomach. Loki laughed a little and slowly rolled over. Barton continued to kiss him.

His body broke out in gooseflesh as the feel of his hot breath ghosted over his skin before his lips pressed a soft kiss to his flesh. Clint moved lower down Loki’s back until he was near his tailbone. Loki felt his tongue flick out and lick at the very start of his cleft. He jump and made a noise as he turned and tried pushing Barton’s face away. He was too slow for Clint was already standing straight again and laughing to himself as he pulled his tongue back in his mouth.

Loki rolled over and tried sitting up to tell him off but Clint grabbed his legs and tipped him flat on his back. He held his legs on either side of his head and kissed at his ankles.

“Clinton,” he said in a warning tone that was tinted with desire. “You’re going to be late.”

“I think this looks like a good position to try,” he said ignoring his warning. He brushed his facial hair up Loki’s calf and the god shivered and gripped at the sheets. “Yeah…” he grinned down at him.

It made heat flare down his body and he shivered again. He felt his nipples pull as they slowly hardened.

“Clint…” he whispered and realised it came out as a whimper more than a firm warning tone as how he’d meant it to. His heart was thundering in his chest loudly and his breath was catching slightly.

Clint stared down at him as he pressed a few more kisses to his ankles and then slowly lowered his legs down. He smirked and left him there.

“See you after,” he called cheerily as he grabbed his things and left.

Loki exhaled and ran his fingers through his hair with a growl. Oh he was going to get it…

\-------------------------------------------------

Natasha punched her fist through another punching bag she’d worn through. Steve came up behind her and set his hands on her shoulders carefully. He pressed a kiss to the back of her head. She was panting heavily and ridged from tension.

“What can I do to help?”

“Have them show up at our door unharmed,” she said and gave the bag another punch a little lower. He backed up as she spun and landed a kick with her barefoot, sending it flying back on the track, swinging wildly.

“Until then?”

She glanced at him and then went to the corner where aerial silks had been hung. She smoothly climbed up one. Steven hadn’t figured out how to do it yet, and he wasn’t sure he wanted to ever. Climbing one of those and hanging around at the top seemed to be one of the few places Natasha had for herself, and he wasn’t about to intrude on that. He made a point that that was her sacred space and that she was untouchable when she was up there.

Clint on the other hand…

“Hey!” he shouted as he swung from one trapeze to another. “Hey!” he called to her.

She glared at him.

“Look,” he beamed and hooked his legs over the bar of one as he swung upside down. He pulled his bow off his back, took out and arrow, and shot it toward the ceiling between the two of them. There was a small _pop_ followed by a fizzling whistle and then streamers and confetti rained down over them. “Tada!” he beamed shaking his hands in a jazzy fashion.

Natasha rolled her eyes, but the two could see she was hiding a small smile.

“So,” he said still swinging on the bar. “That bad huh?”

Natasha shrugged and climbed up a little bit more. Clint straightened up and swung himself until he could grab at one of the silks.

Steve went to lift a few weights. He knew if he couldn’t help her, Clint could. There were just some areas of her life he didn’t have access too yet. Or probably never would. The thought depressed him, for he’d always wanted to have an open and honest relationship with someone. He realised how stupidly childish such a thought was, and that made him feel even worse.

He sighed; the world was different. For good or worse, things could never be simple and easy as they were back –

“Oh shit!” Clint hissed.

Steve looked to find him grasping at the silks.

“I’m good,” he said with a touch of sarcasm. “Don’t worry about me.” It was meant for Natasha. She didn’t bother to look at him. Steve watched to make sure he was alright. Clint wrapped one of the silks around his leg and carefully bent to remove his boot with one hand. He let it drop to the ground along with his sock, before he untangled the one leg and tangled the other to repeated freeing his foot. Once done he could now easily move up and follow after her.

“Hey.” Steve heard Clint say. “Hey Nata,” he sang and then proceeded to speak Russian fluently. Steve couldn’t hear what he was saying, his voice had softened and they were now too far away in the corner for him to even see them clearly through the forest of silks Tony had installed.

Steve decided to continue his work out. “Jarvis?” he asked.

“Yes, sir?”

“Do you think you could play something nice? Just on my side?”

“What style of music do you desire?”

“Anything from the 1940s,” he replied.

“As you wish,”

Music started playing out of a speaker near him. It was nice. Something swingy but not fast and had just enough sweetness and soul.

“Is this an adequate volume?”

“Yeah, thank you,”

“Not at all,”

\-------------------------------------------------

“No,” Natasha whined. “Stop, my ancestors are weeping.”

“You shouldn’t have taught me that song,” he grinned and finally managed to get himself on a set of silks in front of her. “Hey,” he smiled at her.

“Hi,” she said with her eyes cast down.

“What can I do to help?”

“Nothing…” she sighed. “I’m just…being uncharacteristically moody.”

“Vagina problems?”

“No,” she muttered. “I…” she sighed again. “Do you…do you remember…when I first came to live in the compound….and you had to handcuff me into bed at night?”

“Yeah,” he nodded.

“I want that sort of…control again,” she whispered. “I feel like I’ve become so…”

“Human?” he smiled a little knowingly.

“It’s awful,”

“I never promised you it would be easy, I just promised you you’d like it,” he pointed out.

She was silent for a while. “I think S.H.I.E.L.D. might have found them.”

He nodded. “No contact?”

“A text message not too long ago…then nothing,”

“Well this wouldn’t be the first time Phil’s done this…but normally it doesn’t take him so long,” he sighed considering things, swinging himself a tiny bit. “Are you worried that if we go after them S.H.I.EL.D. will get us too?” She nodded. “Well, as you always say, let’s problem solve. Let’s talk it out.”

“If we leave the mansion, we’re targets. We can’t go after them,”

“Okay, but who do we know who can? Richards and his people could?”

“They’re off helping Xavier find more mutants to rescue. I already called them.”

“Okay, then how about…” he thought and then the answer hit him in the face. “Stark.”

“Stark isn’t going to leave his vacation –”

“No, no, no, no, no. I’m talking like his team. His people.”

Natasha’s head snapped up. “Rhodes…S.H.I.E.L.D. can’t touch him and his people. They’re government and they’re tied to Stark. If he gets hurt or taken in, Stark will tear the whole of S.H.I.E.L.D. down with his bare hands to get him back.

Clint grinned triumphantly. “There you go.”

“I need to call him,” she shifted the silks on her body and slid down them.

Clint followed singing: “Мишка косолапый по лесу идётШишки собирает –”

“Clint,” she warned.

“Fine, in English!” he opened his mouth and was just about to belt the next verse when Natasha’s communicator went off.

She quickly put it out of her bra and watched it buzz in her palm. She looked at Clint and they both hurried toward the side room, where they’d set up a small command centre. Steve followed after them.

“Can anybody hear me?” Phil’s voice was calling. There was static and too much background noise to hear him clearly.

“Hello?” Natasha hurried to answer as she picked up the radio.

“Natasha!” he sighed relieved. “Natasha, forget the last message I sent. We need an extraction. We’re trapped.”

“How long do you have?”

“I’ll be generous and give it five minutes. They’re using real bullets. They’re not playing.”

Natasha looked at the other two. “We’re on our way!” she said before thinking.

“It’ll take too long,” Steve reminded.

“Don’t bring Banner,” Phil warned. “They shot Thor with something and he’s having trouble.”

They waited for more. “I’ll get on the phone, see what Rhodey can’t do,” Clint said remembering the reason for them coming down to begin with.

“Do you know what he was hit with?” she asked after a bit of silence.

“Negative,” he said and there was a clashing of bullet noises before nothing again.

“I’ve got him,” Clint said before turning and hurriedly explaining the situation to Rhodey.

“Phil,” Natasha said over the communicator.

“Yeah I’m here,”

“We’ve called in Rhodes.” She looked at Clint who gave her a thumbs-up. “His men can get you out of there faster than we can. We’ll give them the information. Is that the exact location you are currently at?”

“No, we are south-southeast of location. We’re several feet into a wooded area. We were driving a tan Buick, licence plate: India-Hotel-Eight-Mike-Echo-Alfa-Tango.”

“I’m tracing this so we have an exact read on your location, stay on the line,”

“Copy,”

“What do they have?” she asked as she pulled up a map.

“They have birds and dogs.”

“Jesus they’re near civilians,” she whispered as she watched in real-time from one of Stark’s satellites.

“They’re all over them…” Steve whispered shocked as they watched dark clothed figures move in to circle them.

There was a noise from the other end and Natasha hurried to reply. “I’ve got it. I’m transferring location to his team. Hang tight, he’ll be in contact.” Clint handed her the phone and she started telling James the information as quick as she could.

“We’ll get them out,” he promised.

“We owe you,” she said before hanging up with him.

There was nothing from Phil for a bit and then garbled shouts, more shots, and the sound of something exploding and then nothing. A large plum of fire showed up on the screen.

Natasha held tightly to the mouthpiece as she waited. Nothing.

“Call Rhodey,” she whispered after a few minutes.

Clint tried. “Line’s down.”

She inhaled sharply and kept herself together as she waited. Steve put his hands on her shoulders and watched the screen as S.H.I.E.L.D. hurried away, leaving burning wreckage in their wake.


	49. Chapter 49

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's here! Tada!!! All mistakes are my own. I hope you all enjoy it!

\----------------------49----------------------

“Jane!” Thor shouted as he ran forward. Flames shot into the air and the whole camper rolled onto its side as another explosion went off. He pulled Mjölnir forth and summoned lightning to aid him. It struck the nearest gunman and set off several grenades flying through the air in his direction.

Several silent jets appeared overhead and began dropping people down to encircle them. Thor started taking them out by hand: first the gun, then the person; one after another after another. Phil had his stun-handgun out and was firing at any who Thor could not reach in time to neutralise.

Thor turned and summoned lightning, directing it’s path toward one of the jets. It started going down, spinning chaotically as it plummeted to the ground. He saw a small Stark bomb fly at him and he hit it with his hammer, like a batter would at play. It soared toward another jet and exploded near it, knocking it off course. It began spinning dangerously, as though it were falling out of the sky, yet the pilot straightened things out in time and took off, flying low over the tree tops back toward their base.

Thor was almost to the camper when he felt something stab him in the back and he realised he’d been shot. He stumbled and fell to the ground. Whatever it was, it was in the middle of his back where he couldn’t reach it.

Phil saw and hurried over to him. He pulled a tranquilizer dart from him. “I’ve got you,” he said and helped Thor hobble out of the line of fire.

“I’M DYING!” Darcy screamed from within the camper. “OH GOD NO!”

“Sh!” Erik said to her and then held up a ketchup bottle that had exploded on her. He threw the now empty blown out bottle it at her chest and Darcy almost cried tears of joy as she caught it.

“Great,” she sniffed. “Because it’s not like I didn’t like this sweater or anything.” She took a deep breath to gather herself and then tried moving out from under all of the papers and computer junk that’d landed on her. One of the monitors had landed on her leg and she knew that was going to leave a nasty bruise.

“Are you alright?” Phil asked through the bathroom vent on the roof.

“We’re fine,” Erik said moving toward it. “What’s it like out there?”

“I’ve seen worst but I’ve seen better,” he said. “We’re going to get you out of here,” he promised and then activated Thor’s communicator. He flipped the wooden folding table over and pulled it up to shield them next to the camper. “Can anybody hear me?” he said into it. There was no response. “Can anybody hear me?” he said again.

“Hello?” Natasha answered after a few seconds.

“Natasha!” he sighed relieved. “Natasha, forget the last message I sent. We need an extraction. We’re trapped.”

“How long do you have?”

“I’ll be generous and give it five minutes. They’re using real bullets. They’re not playing,”

“We’re on our way,”

“Don’t bring Banner,” he said. “They shot Thor with something and he’s having trouble.”

“I’m fine,” he whispered as the world around him spun. “I can…”

“Sh, it’s okay,” Phil reassured. “Stay here,” he instructed and then hurried to gather the closest abandoned guns around them.

“Do you know what he was hit with?” she asked.

“Negative,” he said into the com and got back behind the table just as the shooting started up again.

Erik tapped on the bathroom vent. “How are we getting out of this?”

“I’m working on keeping us safe until our team can get us out,” Phil said and checked the guns for ammo. “I didn’t anticipate this, but I guess I should have,” he reasoned after a moment of thinking about it. “Never needed an extraction team before either,” he mused and cocked the gun. “Must be getting old.”

“Phil,” Natasha said over the communicator.

“Yeah I’m here,”

“We’ve called in Rhodes…His men can get you out of there faster than we can. We’ll give them the information. Is that the exact location you are currently at?”

“No, we are south-southeast of location. We’re several feet into a wooded area. We were driving a tan Buick, licence plate: India-Hotel-Eight-Mike-Echo-Alfa-Tango.”

“I’m tracing this so we have an exact read on your location, stay on the line,”

“Copy,”

“What do they have?”

“They have birds and dogs.”

Natasha was silent for a moment.

“Natasha?” he asked over the com, but there was an echo of his voice back at him instead.

“I’ve got it. Transferring location to his team. Hang tight, he’ll be in contact.”

Thor groaned as he felt his stomach tighten and twist.

“Thor?” Phil asked worried.

“I’m fine,” he insisted. “Jane? Is she –”

“She’s fine, both girls a fine,” Erik said.

“I can…I can right the vehicle,” he said turning and knelt before it, taking a moment to breath and swallow down the sick he knew was going to come up eventually.

“Don’t push yourself,” Phil advised.

“I can right the vehicle, then you all can run, we’ll…hold them off,” he said and put his hands under the side of the roof. “I’m going to lift it,” he warned.

“Brace yourself,” Erik shouted to the two. Darcy clung to the nearest non-moving object she could find, the door frame, Jane hurried and grabbed at the bed frame.

“Thor!” Phil yelled and knew it was no good. Thor had already lifted it too far for anyone to stop him. Normally an easy feat like this wouldn’t cause him such a struggle; however, his muscles felt like playing-dough. He grunted and pushed, using his arms and then his whole body once it was up high enough.

It rocked back into place and he slid down the side of it exhausted. He heard Selvig start up the camper and it began moving forward. Phil started shooting toward one side to clear them a path. It looked as though they were going to make a getaway when, several new snipers expertly shot the front tires out.

“Shit!” Darcy whined. “I just fixed one of those. It wasn’t easy.”

Phil ran forward and took them out. He spotted one with a rocket launcher aimed for their vehicles. “ERIK GET OUT OF THERE!” he shouted and reloaded a gun before shooting at the people to stop them. Darcy didn’t need to be told twice; she shot out the door with her two bags and hid between Phil and Thor. Erik, on the other hand, had to grab Jane and haul her out.

As he pushed her from the door, the launcher went off and blew through the front of the vehicle. They all scrambled away from it as it spun and rocked haphazardly; large flames shooting up and taking the thing quickly.

Erik ripped Jane’s jacket off and tossed it toward a puddle to put it out. He looked her over to see if there were any more spot she’d caught on fire, but she was fine.

“My work,” Jane gasped stunned. “My work!” she shouted and tried running for it.

“Leave it Jane!” Erik begged as he pulled her back down to the ground.

“My work!” she cried fighting him to try and get at it. “Erik please! NO!”

Darcy pointed toward the sky. “Look!”

Sure enough jets belonging to the United States military soared overhead. There were shouts from the S.H.I.E.L.D. agents to pull back and three Humvees pulled up into the area, one after the other. It was like something out of a movie and Phil thanked God for this incredibly early Christmas miracle.

“Jane, Jane, Jane, honey,” Erik kept saying. “Honey, just leave it,” he begged holding her back. “We got enough of it. Just leave the rest.”

“I can’t. I can’t lose it all again,” she said suddenly so completely overwhelmed. She was tired of running. The past years events quickly caught up with her and she was unashamed in her tears of frustration. Why was this happening? Why couldn’t she just be left alone to pursue her interests? Why was it she found an unfair obstacle around every corner?

She was sobbing now and it hurt Thor worse than whatever had been injected into him. He stumbled up and decided there was only one thing to do. He ran for the camper.

“Thor no!” Phil and Erik shouted.

Jane stood stunned as she watched him willingly rush into the fiery twisted motor vehicle. They watched, for what felt like forever, as men in uniform ran up and began attempting to put the fires out. The bent and destroyed roof collapsed. Rhodes jogged up to them and realised something was wrong. He hurried, calling orders for a rescue member to extract whoever was inside.

The first fire rescue member had just gotten to the stairs when Thor crawled to the top and tumbled down them. They quickly pulled him out and away. He was smoking; his skin red and sooty, hair blackened, yet he held two bags protectively within his arms and had a third on his back. It was just starting to burn.

Everyone ran to him and he was sprayed out.

“Thor!” Jane yelled as she hurried to kneel before him, getting in the way of the medics. “Thor!” she shook him.

He held up a hand and then pulled out a leather bound book from inside his shirt.

“My – my journal!” she gasped and then looked down at him, completely at a loss for words. “Why? Why!?” she said growing upset.

He tried replying but a coughing fit overtook him. They put an oxygen mask over him and Erik pulled Jane away so that they could move Thor to a safer location.

“Thank you,” Phil said with a grateful and very exhausted sigh to the colonel.

“No problem, I’m just glad we were running routines nearby,” Rhodes said and patted him on the shoulder. “They cleared out really fast,” he commented looking around.

“Yeah, S.H.I.E.L.D.’s good about that,” Phil said rolling his eyes.

“Sir!” one of Rhodes’s men said coming over and saluting.

“Report,” he ordered.

“There is hardly anything left. They gathered their guns and took their dead and wounded. There are only pieces of things now.”

“I’ve got some of their guns and a jet crashed,” Phil said pointing in the direction it had disappeared.

Rhodey motioned to a few of his team and they hurried off to investigate. “We’ll finish cleaning up,” he promised. “It’s a good thing Natasha traced the call. It looks like your car was the first to be hit. We were going to come over to investigate the smoke and the noise, but she called and said it was an emergency, so we double timed it.”

“We owe you big,” Phil said.

Rhodey shrugged it off. “Let’s get you all home.”

“Good luck,” Darcy muttered and gestured toward the camper. “That was our home.”

“Stark’s,” Phil said. “The safest place right now is Stark’s. S.H.I.E.L.D. can’t touch anyone under that roof without starting a major international lawsuit.”

“Then Stark’s,” Selvig nodded. “For the girls’ safety, we’ll stay there.”

“Thor, I’m so sorry,” Jane whispered as she brushed his hair from his face.

“I’m fine,” he promised in a weak voice. He started coughing from smoke inhalation again. “Do not be sorry,” he breathed heavily as he started going under from the drug. “I…I should have….”

She rested her head on his chest, overwhelmed with all that had happened today. It hit her then that if he cared enough to warn them of the attack, and enough to rush into a burning camper and gather some of her things maybe he really did… She wiped her eyes and hugged him.

“What a crazy ass day,” Darcy sighed. “I can’t wait to tell my mom about it. She’s going to be thrilled.”

“Are you being sarcastic?” Rhodey asked unsure from her tone.

“No, she really will be thrilled,” she nodded. “A week ago she called me up in a panic saying that Stark’s company had uprooted her to a new location. She asked me what was going on so I told her I became a super-secret international spy slash science assistant and I fight crime. I told her she couldn’t tell anyone. She’s catholic, so she’s honour bound by the Bible and Hell to never break a promise. She swore she’d tell the half-truth; which just means she goes to confession and says she lied, does a few Hail Mary’s and then drinks several glasses of whisky before praying for my soul and going to bed.”

Everyone looked at her, their faces ranging from ‘not-certain-on-how-to-respond’ to Erik’s grumpy disapproving glare.

“What?” she said. “It’s kinder this way. Besides, if I told her the truth she’d be even more disappointed in me and make me come home and marry some stuffy boy from church and what not. Trust me, this is better for everyone.”

“If you say so,” Erik muttered not really paying attention to what she’d said.

“Okay, we gotta move,” Rhodey ordered. “Get him on a stretcher, gather their things, and hurry to the nearest station. We’ve got to get them home quickly and then back to training. Did everyone hear me?” he ended with a loud shout.

“Sir, yes sir!” his people said in unison and began moving much faster.

Erik pulled Jane back as the medics put Thor on a stretcher and loaded him into one of the Humvees. They gathered what they could and Rhodey left one of his men in charge of a group for recovery and clean-up.

Erik told him that whatever they couldn’t recover to incinerate it. “It’s better if S.H.I.E.L.D. can’t get their hands on it,” he whispered to the man.

James nodded. “I understand,” he promised and gave the order to his men. “Okay, everyone,” he said getting in a vehicle and motioned for them to move out.

The last thing Jane remembered was Erik’s arm around her and then she was swimming in dreams on a foreign land with a clear lake and Thor’s smile, warm as a summer sun.

\-------------------------------------------------

Clint put his hand on Natasha’s shoulder. She tensed, but didn’t move other than that. Steve realised he was holding his breath, but he was too afraid to fix it.

The phone rang. The sudden loud noise startled them all. Natasha hurried to answer it. “Hello?” she whispered and then nodded. “Yeah,” she smiled and gave a sigh. “Yeah…yes thank you. Thank you,” she whispered. She hung up the phone. “They’ve got them.”

The other two exhaled relieved and they hugged one another tightly.

“See?” Clint said with a smile.

“When will they be here?” Steve asked.

“Tomorrow morning. Rhodey has to finish his team’s training and clean up the area before they can move. They’ll update us later.”

“It’s all good,” Steve said pulling her into a tight embrace.

Clint rubbed at his forehead. “Ah shit…” he whispered. “What do I tell Loki?”

\-------------------------------------------------

Clint stalled as he prepared for bed.

“Clinton…” Loki called sweetly.

He closed his eyes and sighed heavily. Damn what he wouldn’t give to hear him call him like that again _without_ the burden of today’s events on him? He started brushing his teeth.

“Clint?” Loki asked coming to the door after a few minutes of silence. He looked at him and then his face broke into worried lines. “Are you alright?”

He didn’t trust his voice so he nodded.

Loki frowned and waited until he’d finished before giving him a concerned look that demanded answers.

“It’s…it’s been a long day,” he apologised and pulled him into a hug. “I did a few things I haven’t done in forever and…” he sighed and rested their foreheads together. Damn he wanted to tell him so badly…but the feel of the darkness just swimming under the surface of their bond made the words stop in his throat. He kissed him, simply and in a manner that didn’t demand or promise anything. “Raincheck?” he begged.

“Of course,” he rested their foreheads together and calmly inhaled deeply, sending him good energies to help him feel better. It made him feel worse, but he wasn’t about to let Loki knew that. He knew he meant well. “Come to bed,” he whispered and pulled Clint along behind him. “Let’s share one final night of peace alone together.”

Clint smiled a bit and they snuggled under the covers. This time, Loki held him. It was nice; Clint’s face pressed into his chest, one of Loki’s arms firmly and protectively around him, his other rubbing gently at his forehead as he started to drift off. He’d tell him tomorrow…

\-------------------------------------------------

Since Thor was still not around, Loki decided to take his spot with Clint on morning shift. They had used that time to talk more about Midgardian felines. It was a rather dull watch. Too early in the morning to do much other than nurse their warm drinks and walk around the city as Clint grumbled about the hour and being awake.

Loki knew something was up. Not in the city, but with his brother. Natasha’s mood had changed significantly over the course of the day yesterday and she had been extra chatty during dinner. Nothing in particular, just anything to keep them from talking about his brother or Phil. Everyone else seemed to avoid that subject as well. Loki had kept his mouth shut, but it was starting to bother him. They had even left extra early for their shift, per Steve’s suggestion. Clint had half-heartedly argued about it, but Steve’s promise of them being able to leave it early won his favour. Natasha even suggested they dress in their regular clothes so that once they were off they could start their pet search.

It was suspicious behaviour to Loki, but Clint was excited and he hadn’t wanted to bring the archer’s mood down, especially after seeing him so beat down last night. He knew Clint was keeping something from him, and although he knew better than to push it at the time, if another chance arose Clint wasn’t getting out of that one easily. He was going to find out what was going on.

So they walked around in the cold, chatting a bit and helped catch a petty purse-thief, but apart from that, nothing else exciting had happened and Clint never gave Loki another opportunity to press the subject of his brother, so they moved on to their next task: cat adoption.

They had spent the better part of their free morning traveling along the Upper East Side and Lower Manhattan to whatever shelter the last one they went too suggested in trying. They even stopped at a Petco to select a small comfortable pet bed and toys. Loki smirked as he snuck in two bell collars, one purple and black and the other green and black. The idea of a tiny feline jingling around annoying everyone in the house gave his mischievous side great satisfaction.

They ate at a little bistro and when Loki checked in with the others, he found Bruce at the controls. He also seemed to be rambling and acting strange, but Loki ignored it in favour of not ruining his outing with Clint and promised they’d be heading back soon and that they’d stay safe in the meantime.

They were almost to one of the subway entrances when they passed a small place.

“Do you want to look here?” Clint asked stopping.

Loki looked at it. It was a jewellery store. He cleared his throat. “What for?”

“I figured you’d want to take a look for Natasha,” he shrugged.

“Oh,” Loki cleared his throat. “I’ll leave that for another day.”

“Okay,” Clint said and they continued walking. They past another shop and stopped. They looked at one another and took several steps back as they collectively registered what it was they had just passed. A tiny woof could be heard from within. They looked at each other again and then began for the door. They had agreed during lunch, after they realised they must have hit every place in the city, that if they hadn’t found anything on Manhattan, they’d start looking for outside shelters. It seems they had found the last one in the city.

It wasn’t that they hadn’t found some adorable and perfect kittens and even older cats. It was just that nothing felt completely right. They spent several minutes with each cat that caught their eye and found they enjoyed its company, but there was a nagging…lack. They had written down the names of some places just in case, but Loki doubted Clint would be back to those until he found the right one first.

“Hello!” a cheery female said behind the counter, a puppy with a cast on its leg sat licking peanut butter from off of a spoon in front of her. “I’m Stacy! Welcome. How can I help you both?”

“We would like to see your felines,” Loki said looking around. Clint had to keep his face completely straight as he fought to keep down the private joke that went with that statement. Well it wasn’t a hundred percent private. Just the two of them and three nice ladies at the first shelter they went too.

Loki’s original statement had ended a little differently and brought about several shocked and offended faces and reactions, before Clint had to explain he wasn’t from the States and that it wasn’t something offensive over there. He added in that Loki’s first language wasn’t English, which was partially true. The god had smiled and said something in the Old Tongue. They figured he had to have been from Europe from the accent and waved it off as brutish Eastern culture.

The god gave him a small look that said the whole incident wasn’t funny now nor had it been when it occurred. The woman didn’t notice. She nodded and set the spoon down and pushed a button.

“Let me get someone to help you. What are you interested in? We have dogs, birds, some reptiles –”

“Felines,” Loki repeated slowly, amazed at how thick some of the Midgardians were. How many times did one have to repeat themselves before their own language registered in their brain? He knew he was speaking Midgardian English, and rather clearly.

“Oh,” she frowned a bit confused.

“Cats,” Clint clarified.

“Oh great,” she smiled and the door off to the side opened. Loki had to resist face palming or rolling his eyes. Instead he directed his attention to the young man. He and Stacy waved at one another. “These gentlemen are looking for a cat.”

“Great,” he said coming up to them. “Hi, I’m Scott,” he said holding out his hand to greet them.

“Clint,”

“Loki,”

“I’ll take you to our cat area and you can browse our selection. If you’ll follow me?”

Clint went to take a step after him, but was stopped by Loki’s hand. _What?_

_Are you sure? This place is filthy._

_I mean they could have used a stain fighter on their clothes,_ he shrugged.

_And the paint peeling in here? Or the counter that is held together by that ducky tape?_

Clint looked around and then rolled his eyes. _This is the last place. There are no others in the city and we said we’d give them all a chance._

Loki sighed and nodded his head, _Very well…_

“Everything alright?” Scott asked concerned.

“Yes, sorry. He was uh…he’s not a native English speaker,” he lied and pulled Loki along.

“Oh really? Well with a name like yours I didn’t think so,” he laughed. “Where from?”

“Norway,” Loki supplied.                           

“Ah Ja, jeg vet at noen norske meg selv!”

Loki smirked as he paused mid-step for a moment. “Virkelig?”

“Hvordangjør du?”

“Veldig godt, og du?”

“Flott!”

“Uh, English here?” Clint looked between them.

“Semi-proper introductions,” the god explained.

“I did a few semesters in Norway,” Scott said opening a door and then held out a hand indicating for them to entre first.

“Where?”

“Oslo,”

“Ah yes, I have not been there for a very long time.”

“Beautiful country.”

“Indeed,” he smiled and nodded toward the inside of the room. “Whichever you’d like to see, just let me know and I’ll bring it to the play area here,” he pointed to a space left of the door. It was a small enclosed pin with a few chairs, some toys, a tiny litter box, a small water dish and a blanket.

They looked into the room and Clint smiled. He nudged Loki and entered first. The room was immaculate: well-lit, not too hot and not too cold, with no metal cages. Not a single one in sight. They were instead organised by age, breed, and physical health status, all in spacious display areas. The kittens were in the front: two displays on top of the other. The little ones licking the glass or pawing at it as they looked in curious wonder at the new people. They had soft bedding, food and water dishes, toys, a litter space, and a heating pad where some of the younger ones lay, their lights dimmed to help protect their still not fully developed eyes.

The next were older kittens, their bodies longer, the space a little bit bigger, and took up two columns per display to give room for their basic needs, plus things to climb around on; some of them were even playing chase or curled around others napping. There were more breeds mixed together due to the number in their age group, and the lack of space to accommodate the fact there were only three of one kind and thirty of another. At the back were older cats. They were in decent sized displays with good comfy furniture to lie around on as they moved only in need of certain things. A few still played, yet most where too old, tired, or sad to do much else.

“I want them all,” Clint said.

“We can only get one,” he reminded crossing his arms as he watched him zip from display to display, smiling and gently petting the glass as though he could feel the little out stretched paws for him.

“One?” he whined.

“One,” Loki reminded.

“What if we got two?”

“What would we need two for? We might not even be able to properly care for the first.”

“Oh we will! We’ll be great Kitty-Parents.”

Loki smirked and began looking. It was certainly a wonderful place and the tiny little mews he could hear through the glass made his heart melt. He could perhaps be persuaded into getting a second one, but they really couldn’t afford any more. It was not a matter of money, but affection, time, and space.

“Tell us about them,” Clint asked. “Shots, health, everything, what are we about to invest our love and lives with?”

“Well,” Scott laughed as he watched them. “The ones with the green collars are ones that are up-to-date on everything: shots, check-ups, and if they’re old enough, they’ve been spayed or neutered. They’re all litter box trained and waned, unless they are these ones here,” he pointed to the dimly lit displays. “We normally don’t sell these unless the buyers show they really know about cats. We can’t let people take newborns and keep a clear conscious. Many people would feed them upside down or give them store bought milk and just…yeah.”

“And the other coloured collars?” Loki asked as one with a pastel purple came up and booped at his face through the glass.

“Purple means they have everything up-to-date but a small health issue or two that won’t cost much, yellow is a little more of a concern and money, and the red is severe yet not enough to keep them from living several years happily if taken care of properly.”

“What would constitute as the main reason for a cat having a purple collar?”

“Most of them are dietary concerns.”

Loki spotted one sitting in the corner of a bottom display, it’s sleek small body was sitting perfectly still and straight, waiting. Watching. Observing. It’s vibrant green eyes were pale and had a hint of gold blended in. It’s creamy manila body was hairless and patchy with grey-black, white, and toasty caramel colouring. Loki bent and examined it. It examined him back. He noticed it’s eyes weren’t fully green, but that one was a little more blue than the other. He also had a little notch in the tip of one ear.

He smirked and the cat tilted its head to the side. He mimicked it and it seemed to change it’s expression, assessing him before tilting it the other way. He did the same. The cat sniffed the air with it’s pink and black nose, letting it gently touch the surface of the glass. Loki bent closer and slowly put a finger to it. The cat moved it’s head as if it were trying to brush against it.

“This one,” he said.

“Really?” Scott said surprised.

“Why, what is wrong with this choice?”

“Nothing, I’ve just never seen someone come in and immediately pick a Sphynx, unless they had allergies. Normally they tell us that beforehand.”

“No, no allergies. Just…this one,” he said again with a smile. Scott nodded and went to the door on the side to the play pin that lead back behind the display cases. He opened the back door and stepped in holding a harness. He closed the door and opened the small thin bit of glass fencing that kept them from immediately escaping out the door. Cats instantly rushed to his feet lovingly, meowing and jumping vying for his affections.

The Sphynx hadn’t moved, it’s intelligent eyes continuing to stare at Loki, even when Scott gently grabbed it and slipped it into the harness. He carried it out, careful to keep the others in, and then left to bring it around.

“This one is special,” he explained coming out; the cat perched upon his shoulders carefully. “He’s only about ten months to a year old. We found him with his siblings, they’ve been sent off to people in other states and he’s the only calico Sphynx we have left. He’s well-trained, quiet, playful, and curious, yet won’t get into too much trouble. He generally takes to people who aren’t afraid to look at him.”

Loki came over to the petting area, setting their shopping bags on the outside of the solid fence before opening the small gate and shut it behind him. He slowly held his hands out, palms up and let the kitten move toward him on his own time. The cat sniffed and walked along Scott’s outstretched arm carefully before putting a paw on Loki’s to test his sturdiness. Loki moved a bit closer and offered him his upper arm. The cat immediate moved and made itself comfortable on his shoulder. It hadn’t been the first to do this, yet it was the most relaxed one he’d had upon him that day. It watched him and then sniffed his face before nuzzling it.

Loki reached a hand up and petted it, leaning his face in a bit. The cat began purring instantly. “Hello,” he said softly as they pulled back to look at one another. The cat chirped a meow and pawed at his shoulder as it looked down.

“That’s his way of saying he’s either going to jump down on something a little lower to get to the floor or that he wants you to hold him. Generally, he flexes his claws or makes a small jumping motion if he means to jump to something else. This is him telling you to hold your arms out,” Scott explained and held his arms across his chest to show what he meant.

“Oh,” Loki said and held his arms in a cradling fashion he’d often done with his own children. The cat carefully manoeuvred down and snuggled against him, turning a bit to look up at him from his side as he pressed his belly to Loki’s chest. The god smiled and moved a hand to stroke his soft skin.

Now that they were closer, he could see that he wasn’t completely hairless. He had small amounts covering his tale, a tiny amount on the front of his face, and the tops of his paws; the rest of his body was covered in very fine micro-hairs that gave his skin an ultra-soft feel: like whipped butter or fine suede.

“Tell me more about him?”

“His litter was abandoned. We found the five of them in the subway nearly starved. He is one of three survivors, the other two weren’t strong enough to eat and had to be put down. He’s filled out a lot since we rescued him. He’s the only boy out of the five.”

“And this marking on his ear?”

“It’s our way of saying he’s neutered. It’s a little notch so that if someone finds him outside and he doesn’t have a collar they won’t take him in for the same operation. He is missing a few claws because of infections when we found him, but he can still scratch and defend himself if needed. Not that he really needs to.”

“What do you got?” Clint asked coming over.

“A…Sphynx was it?”

“Yes,” Scott nodded.

“Oh the wrinkly hairless cats,” Clint said shutting the gate and came to his side.

“Not all of them are hairless,” Scott corrected.

“This one has some,” said Loki, a small song-like quality to his voice as he gently brushed Clint with the cat’s tail. The cat sat up a bit and gently bit at Loki’s hand to get him to let go of it and bring his hand back to rub him.

The archer smiled and held out his hand for the cat to sniff. “Male or female?”

“Male.”

“Do you give them names?”

“Not until they are a little over a year and a half. We figure we’d give them a chance to find someone. They have numbers for paperwork and stuff. It seems a little cruel, but we feel that if the owner names the pet it gives them a better bonding experience.”

“I noticed that,” Clint pointed back to the second display on the right side of the room. “Second one up; tiny little thing; a little greyer than the rest of the white ones; spots are darker grey; purple collar; I only saw the number 7 at the end.

“I’ll find it,” Scott promised and disappeared behind the door again to go around to the other side.

“I think you’ll like this one,” he said to Loki as he reached forward to gently rub at the calico’s back. “Wow he’s soft!”

“He’s gorgeous!”

Clint looked at him. “Uh-oh.”

“What?”

“I know that tone.”

“What?” he asked confused and then went back to looking fondly down at the kitten.

“That’s the ‘I desire this above all’ tone. It’s the one you get when you mention your kids, along with that look.”

“Don’t be silly,” he snorted.

“I’m not. Should I have even looked at any of the cats here at all?”

“No of course you can, I just…really think we should consider this one,” he said and went to the other side to sit in one of the chairs as he continued to stare at and pet the cat; which was now watching him with big trusting eyes and purring loudly.

“I knew it,” he muttered and shook his head just as Scott came in with his little kitten. “Yes! That one!” he said excitedly. It mewed excitedly and jumped a little when it saw him.

The cat in Loki’s arm’s tensed a bit, his ears twitching as they searched for the source of the sound. He sat up on the god’s lap and looked around until he found the tiny other cat in Clint’s arms. His eyes narrowed and he leaned forward sniffing the air, his tail twitched a little.

“I’m surprised you let us bring two cats out at a time. Nowhere else would.”

“Well the Sphynx gets along with pretty much every other cat here, even the newborns, so I make an exception with him.”

“Look!” Clint said and showed the tiny one off to Loki. It was dark silver coloured with black and dark grey rosettes and markings, and indeed it did look greyer compared to the other white and brown kittens Loki had seen in the pin the kitten had been taken from.

“He is a silver Bengal,” Scott explained. “A little younger than the Sphynx. We found him and his siblings not too long ago in a bag in the dumpster. The tip of his tail was broken and not set correctly so it’s bent slightly. He also has a tendency to lose his balance because of it. I’m assuming that you’ve both had cats before?”

“Yes,” they both replied.

“Great, because Bengals are not for first time owners.”

“What does he do: start a cat union and picket for snuggles, scraps, and catnip?” Clint asked.

“They are _very_ hyper active. They pretty much need twenty-four-seven care,” Scott said.

“So does this one,” Loki muttered as he gestured toward Clint.

“Look at his little white chin!” Barton whispered tickling it. The kitten began purring and stretched up for more, the bit of white extended from his pink nose and faded down to just before his chest. Clint came over to Loki and sat near him. The Sphynx stood on the god’s knee and leaned a bit onto Clint’s as it sniffed at the other cat.

The kitten stared at it with large bright green eyes and then sniffed at it too. They bumped noses and then pulled back a bit startled before trying again. The Sphynx brushed it’s face against the Bengal. They meowed at each other; the Bengal’s high, faint, and a little rough, the Sphynx’s high, rolling, and sure. They both continued to sniff and nuzzle the other as they began purring.

“That’s cute,” Clint pointed down to the scene before them. “You can’t deny that.”

“Indeed I cannot,” Loki agreed with a smile.

“Oh look his little paw has some white and so does his lower belly,” Clint made a happy face and began rubbing the white fluff. The kitten rolled over and stretched for more, his tiny toes flexing out his claws in content. The Sphynx rubbed and batted at Clint’s hand for attention.

Loki petted him and the Sphynx snuggled up back into his lap, keeping a little to the side to remain close to the other cat. He watched him and then looked up at Loki, as if he’d been down this road before, and beseeched him silently not to take the littler one over him.

“They’re both purple,” Clint commented.

“I noticed,”

“What’s –” he stopped when he realised Scott had disappeared behind the door again.

“Dietary.” Loki recalled. “He said purple were mainly dietary or with small concerns.”

“Ah, good thing we didn’t get food yet.”

“We didn’t know what we would be taking home,”

“We only got one bed,”

Loki shrugged. “It’s big enough for now. They –” he stopped and then turned narrowed eyes upon the archer, whose grin was so wide it was splitting his face in two. “You sneak…” he said to him. “You planned for two all along!”

“Actually I planned for five, but I’ll take two for now.”

Loki rolled his eyes just as Scott came back out. “Hey sorry, I went to look up their info. They’re up to date on shots, no sicknesses, no specific out of the ordinary allergies, only they have to have foods that are either natural or specially made at home. They can’t have bagged or canned regular brands.

“I would have prepared a homemade mixture regardless,” Loki said.

“Since when?” Clint demanded.

“Since I talked you out of buying from the store earlier,” he said innocently.

“I thought it was because we didn’t know what we would be taking home?”

“That is a factor, the other is I don’t trust something that doesn’t have meat as a first ingredient and smells odd.”

“Great,” Scott said happily with a sigh. “I’m glad you both are well-informed and sensible.”

“Hear that?” Clint said rubbed at the kitten’s tummy. “We’re well-informed and sensible.”

“The latter is questionable when used in description for you,” Loki commented and raised his hands protectively behind the Sphynx as it stretched up to stand onto his hind legs and rested his paws against the god’s chest to sniff his neck and shirt collar.

“I’ll make you sleep in the cat bed if you don’t watch out.”

Loki rolled his eyes again and shook his head looking down at the curious eyes watching him. “Daddy’s a silly one, tell him all I have to do is get Natasha and she’ll show him who gets the cat bed.” The Sphynx’s purr turned into a rolled gentle meow as he licked at Loki’s chin and then settled down to groom the god’s hand as Loki petted him with the other.

“I’ll be taking these two, you can have this one,” Clint said gesturing to the cats and then Loki. “He’s kind of house trained, not neutered so he’ll mark up the place with books and strange writings. Doesn’t normally play nice with other people, but enjoys animals.”

“Says the one that considers making a new friend involves shooting them in the leg with an arrow,” he muttered back.

“It happened _once_ ,” he sighed heavily.

Scott laughed and pointed to the cats. “So I take it you’re decided?”

“Yes,” they both replied with a smile.

“Now we recommend that if you have a large house or apartment that you keep them in one room for the first few days, just to show them that they have a safe place to come back to before letting them explore the rest of your living area. The Bengal needs a little more than the normal amount of calcium cats need, as well as Vitamin B, so put either extra supplements or find something that is healthy for them they can nibble on. The Sphynx does better with bones in the mix, so make sure those are ground up well. They both do fairly well with dairy, because they’re young, so bear in mind that may change with age. Littlest one loves cheese and actually sneaks the other cat’s pieces, so look out. He also enjoys sitting in high places and pounces on unsuspecting passerbys.”

Loki looked over a Clint who innocently stared at him. “What?”

“You would literally find your spirit animal.”

“Me? What about the Sphynx with his judgy eyes and curious nature.”

“Right, because he is so different from every other cat in existence,”

Clint opened his mouth and then shut it, “I’ll…get you later,” he promised, “Just as soon as I figure out how.”

Loki returned his attention to Scott, “Please continue.”

He smiled and went back to the papers. “The Sphynx digestive system in general is sensitive, so he’ll be nauseous or have tummy problems for a few days because of this move. You’ll have to bathe him regularly. He has some thicker hair so not as often as if he didn’t, but I can show you how if you’d like. Today is a washing day; it might help with him trusting you a bit more.”

Loki nodded. “Of course.”

“And Bengals are water cats. Don’t worry about him freaking out over water, he actually really enjoys it. He’s a good swimmer.”

“Score,” Clint laughed and lifted the kitten gently. “Look daddy’s boy is fearless!”

“Dark places distress him. It’s the PTSD from the bag and stuff.”

“Oh,” Clint drew his lips together tightly as he thought. “We don’t really ever sleep in the dark anyways do we?”

“Stark has small lights near the far wall,” Loki nodded as he tried to remember. He had just become so used to how things were that he never thought much on little things like that.

“Are there?”

“To help find the bathroom,”

“Yes, that’s right!”

“Stark?” Scott frowned and looked between them. “Like _the_ Stark, Tony Stark?”

“Yeah,” Clint said and held his hands up to help protect the kitten as he tried climbing up his shirt and over to Loki.

“You know him?”

“Yeah, we live with him.”

Scott looked at them with wide eyes. “Oh my…you’re – you’re Avengers!” he said excitedly and sat up fully alert and star-struck.

“Yes,”

“Which one are you? I’ve never seen you all up close! The police normally keep us far away.”

“I shoot the arrows and bring the sass,”

“I am a new addition. I…I’m Thor’s brother,” Loki admitted quietly.

Scott stared at him and then laughed as he leaned back. “You haven’t been to Oslo in a long time, that’s a great one. You’re a Norse god that’s why.”

Loki smirked and felt the cats change laps, the Sphynx eagerly sniffing and searching over Clint as the Bengal turned in his lap several times before settling down and batting at his hand ready for affection. “You solved that rather quickly.”

“I’m a huge fan. Everyone here is actually. Our place is funded by Stark.”

“What?” Clint asked taken aback.

“Really?” Loki raised an eyebrow interested.

“Yeah, we put all of the money into taking care of the animals. We’re trying to get enough to fix the front. I mean we get enough, it’s just that we feel bad from taking it away from the animals,” he added quickly. “This is…fantastic! Oh my god! I can’t believe you both are real Avengers and that you’re here adopting animals from us!”

“Fate,” Loki said looking down at the little one who was turned onto his back watching his tail swish to and fro intently.

“This means you both take them for free,” he said and started signing the papers.

“Oh we couldn’t!” Loki protested.

“Yes,” Clint hissed in victory.

“Clinton!” Loki looked at him aghast. “We can’t honestly take pets from a shelter for free!”

“I mean like we’ll donate and stuff, but sweet we get them for nothing because of Stark,” he mumbled a bit put out and made a frowny face down at the Sphynx, who looked up at him concerned and rose up to bump noses and brush faces.

Scott shook his head and held up a hand, “Oh no you don’t –”

“We insist. It’s the least we can do. You have been very helpful and it shows in your dedication to the facility and the animals.” Loki paused and then added, “And you can use it for repairs on the other pairs of the building, guilt free, with our blessing.”

“Wow…” he whispered blown away. “That’s…th-thank you!”

“It’s nothing, the least we can do,” Loki waved a hand dismissing any argument on the matter.

“Alright,” Scott smiled and finished working on the papers. “If you’d fill these out I’ll go get our normal adoption packages and some of the food I made for them. It’ll last you a few days. Would you like a recipe too?”

“It wouldn’t hurt,” Loki admitted and took the clipboard Scott offered.

“Great, I’ll do that and be right back.”

Loki and Clint quickly filled out the required fields and left it on the chair Scott had abandoned and waited for him to return. The kittens jumped back and forth from their laps, batted at each other and even ran around under the chairs and through their legs for a while.

The Sphynx ran under the table and bound back up into Loki’s lap, gently kneading at his thighs until he was calm enough to settle down.

“We need names; those are the only things we didn’t do yet,” he said as he began to pet the amazingly soft cat again.

“Furball,” Clint suggested down at the Sphynx. Loki rolled his eyes at him. Clint glanced up with a pleased smile and then dropped it when he saw that the god wasn’t biting. “No good?”

“No.”

“Fine, what’s ‘cat’ in Old Norse?”

“We are _not_ naming our cats ‘cat’ in the Old Tongue.”

“How about the New Tongue?”

“No,”

“Fury?”

“Honestly?”

“Spike,”

“No,”

“Mr. Bigglesworth,”

“Who?”

“Oh that was a good reference!” he threw his head back with a sigh. “Wasted!” he whispered and closed his eyes a little sad.

Loki sighed and ignored him. He thought for a moment and then pieced a name together. “How about Ástnæmr?”

“Gesundheit,”

“Clint, if you’re not going to take this seriously–”

“No I am, just it’s…it’s hard!” he whined. “If we mess this up they’ll never forgive us!”

“Relax, we have some time, I’m sure they will even help if we honestly cannot come up with a single name.”

They sat for several more minutes thinking up things to share, yet nothing seemed fully right. Every name Clint suggested felt too modern and not proud enough to the god and everything Loki suggested was so bizarre and old sounding the archer didn’t honestly think half of what he suggested were real names.

“Shame you’re not someone else. Then we could call him Loki.”

“Ha, do you honestly desire to risk another trickster living under your roof?”

“I’ll pass on that answer…” he said and then smiled indicating he was teasing. Loki let it go with just a small nudge to his arm, supressing his own smile. “Can’t name him any deity…you know them all.”

“Hmmm…I still think Ástnæmr or Fóthraðr is best for him,” he said pointing to the Sphynx.

“It feels so Skyrim, which I guess is kind of Norse so…” he shrugged. “What do they mean?”

“Fót is ‘foot’ and ‘hraði’ means fast, swift, speedy. Together the name means ‘light of foot’ or ‘swift footed’.”

Clint looked at the calico and tried the name out. “Hello Frothdard,”

“Fót-hraðr,” he corrected.

“Fóthraðr,” Clint attempted again. The cat yawned and licked himself uninterested. The archer made a face. “No, I just don’t feel it. What was the other?”

“Ástnæmr. Ást is one of the words for ‘love’ and ‘næmr’ means ‘quick at learning’ or ‘one who is very composed and confident’.”

“So something about the time it took you to fall in love with him?”

Loki laughed and scratched behind the Sphynx’s ear. The cat sat up and stretched out his neck and the leg he had been cleaning, his eyes closing a little as his purrs intensified. “I suppose. ‘Quick at learning to love him’.”

The Sphynx started leaning into the god’s touch. When he felt he was leaning too far over, he pulled away sharply and shook his head before yawning. He stopped and stared at Clint who was watching him.

“Sup Asnamer?”

“Ástnæmr! Ást-næ-Mr; the last vowel is a soft trill”

“Ass-nay-mar!” he said at Loki in a sassy way. The god flared his nostrils as he glared at him and then looked down at the kitten. Clint leaned forward and pecked his shoulder before whispering down at the Sphynx, correctly using his name, “Hello Ástnæmr.” The kitten rose up and put his paw on Clint’s mouth, looking his face over before bumping his nose against Clint’s and then dropping back to purr in Loki’s lap. “Well I guess that’s settled,” he shrugged and looked down at the Bengal. “So keeping with the fantasy crazy name theme…hmmm.” He smiled as the thought struck him. “Jareth.”

“What?”

“From _The Labyrinth_. He’s the ‘villain’ of the movie.”

“We’re not naming our cat after a villain.”

“I use that term _very_ loosely here. He’s not really a villain. He’s a misunderstood guy that fell in love and then has his whole world ripped out from under him after he did everything for the love of his life and she’s a whiny little bitch, but we’ll talk about that all later. Right now, just trust me, it’s a great name. Also he’s probably my most favourite out of all the characters David Bowie has played.”

“Very well,” he sighed compromising. “Hello Jareth,” Loki said sweetly down at the kitten as he licked on Clint’s fingers a bit. The kitten looked up licking his mouth and then gave a tiny high meow, and sat up with large curiously excited eyes. “Then we have decided,” he smiled and grabbed the clipboard back. He put the Sphynx’s name into the box for his paperwork and gave it over for Clint to write in for the Bengal.

Scott returned with two cat carriers full of what they needed. “Alright, three are frozen and the top one is just from the fridge. You’ll want to add something in it to replenish the vitamins freezing depletes, so I put a bottle of capsules in there.”

“Thank you,” Loki said putting Ástnæmr into Clint’s lap next to Jareth and rose to look into the plastic and metal devices. “The only thing we do not have is a healer for the animals.”

“A vet,” Scott nodded and pulled a card out of his back pocket. “This is the one we use. They’re very nice. Mr. Stark found them so I’ll just fill that space in and notify them of the adoption. They’ll just need you to bring them in for a routine sometime.”

“And the bath?” Loki asked.

“Yes, I put a bottle of cat shampoo in there and two sponges. We can do that now.”

“Alright,” he smiled and went to Clint, holding his arm out. Ástnæmr sniffed him for a moment before climbing up his sleeve carefully and draped his tail over the god’s other shoulder. “We shall return.”

“I’ll watch the stuff,” he said and caught Jareth as he made a run to leap at the two as they went into the back room. “Whoa buddy!” he chuckled. “Easy there kid. Don’t make me look like a bad parent so soon.”

He set the kitten near some toys, which quickly gained his attention. The cat grabbed up three of them and rolled around trying to keep a hold of each without letting go of another. Clint knew it wouldn’t keep his attention for forever, but it would be enough to sort things in and out of the bags and carriers, allowing him to look through it all. The adoption centre gave them a few more little frilly toys, some natural treats, a decent horizontal first scratching box, some fresh catnip, the Tupperware containers of food, and two sleeping pads inside the bottom of the two carriers.

Not bad. In fact it was probably the best care package he’d ever been given. He spotted the bottle of shampoo in the back and he looked it over before he put the rest of the things they had collected, minus the kitty litter and large cat box, into the carriers and closed the doors. He had just finished calling for a ride when he felt something bump his ankle and he looked down to find Jareth on his side looking a bit confused and excited.

“Hey buddy,” he said bending down to pet him. “What’s going on?” The kitten meowed and took off, pulling out toys for them to play with.

It took about thirty minutes before Loki and Scott returned with a wide eyed and energetic kitten. He was in Loki’s arms, nestled in a fluffy towel and purring like crazy, his body mellow yet his tail spoke of how thrilling his bath had been.

“Ready?” he asked, still gently rubbing at the cat through the towel to make sure he was fully dry.

“Yeah,” Clint scooped the kitten up and tossed the toy they’d been playing with away. “I called someone and they’re waiting out front.”

“Excellent, let’s get these bands off of from around their necks,” Scott said and lead the way, helping to carry their things.

“Thank you,” Loki said again, once they’d made it to the front and the paperwork was being inputted by Stacy.

“It’s nothing,” Scott replied as he pushed the button to laser inscribe the cat’s names and addresses into a thin silver tag. They had decided to just get the kind that would slip on and lay flat over the strap of the collars Loki had snuck into their supplies earlier. Now that Loki was looking the front over, the only new looking things in the area were all Stark machines. He was a bit surprised he hadn’t noticed it sooner.

“Here,” Clint said holding out a wad of cash.

“No,” Scott shook his head and held up a hand.

“Okay fine,” the archer spotted the collection donation jar and stuffed it in there. “That’ll pay for paint and anything else you need to work on the building. Honestly you have to have a good front or else no one will want to see what amazingly well-taken care of animals you have.”

“Thank you,” Scott and Stacy said together.

“Eh, it’s nothing. I mean I just gave you money, look at what _I_ get to take home,” he made a kissy face at the kitten who batted at his chin excitedly. “We’re clearly winning here.”

Loki shook his head with a sigh and a small smile. They took the tags from Scott and exited with another wave, their things already loaded into the car by their driver.

They quickly entered the vehicle and let Mark drive them back to the house. The cats were crazy curious, sniffing and climbing all over the place as they explored the car. Loki made sure to hold onto their leashes to keep them from getting too far into the front.

“This was good,” Clint said and leaned in to kiss Loki.

The god hummed and nodded giving him another short kiss. “Yes…it was.”

“They are semi-creepily well behaved.”

“Don’t spoil it by tempting the Norns,” he warned wrapping his arms around Clint’s shoulders and rubbed gently at the back of his neck. They kissed again and then felt tiny paws and little warning claws on their laps and stomach. They looked down to find two tiny faces with large opened eyes, chirruping as they pleaded for affection, to which the two gladly gave.

\-------------------------------------------------

They were currently on a train. The whole carriage had been reserved for them. Thor lay across two seats, oxygen mask still over his mouth and bandages over his wounds. His skin had already started healing the burns; however, there were several bullets he hadn’t noticed bite into his right side and thigh as he had turned the camper. The medics were currently pulling the last of them out and just bandaging the spots as Thor had requested. There had been some fighting about stitches, but he reassured them that the wounds would be healed fully in a day or two.

Phil was sitting across from Rhodey and the other three were fast asleep. Several other military personal stood watch at the entrances along the carriage. They hadn’t run into any more trouble so far, but that didn’t mean that they still wouldn’t.

The train stopped at a station and everyone awake was on their guard. It took a little less than twenty minutes for it to start again and they half relaxed.

“Thank you, again,” Phil said.

“It’s really nothing,” Rhodes reassured.

“I didn’t anticipate them to come at us so hard,”

“It is very un-S.H.I.E.L.D. like,” he agreed.

“Very, which is why I’m starting to think something serious is up,”

“It must be, right? Fury had to leave,”

“No,” Coulson shook his head. “I mean something more. It was going on before he left. Now that he’s gone, it’s allowed to run free. Maria is in a dangerous position.”

“You all are,”

Phil sighed and rubbed his face. “Oh…” he yawned. “I’m not as young as I once was…”

“Rough trip?”

“We sank a boat,” Phil said with a smile. “We hijacked two cars, ran for miles through woods, swam to shore, and fought an organisation that I once would have gladly given my life to defend.”

“Things change,” Rhodey said sympathetically.

“Yeah, I’ve seen enough of change in my lifetime,”

The colonel laughed. “You sound like an old man,” he said.

“I am an old man,”

“Forty-seven isn’t old,”

Phil kept his mouth shut and just smiled in response.

Darcy shifted and Erik put his arm around her as they leaned toward the window. Jane rolled over on the seats she was laying in across from Thor.

“You should make contact with your people. We’re far enough away from the area that you should be clear,” Rhodey said.

“Oh yeah!” Phil said and started looking for his communicator. “Natasha must be going nuts,” he chuckled and found it.

“Is that blood?” Rhodes asked rising from his seat to lean across and get a better look at Phil’s side.

“It’s nothing,” he reassured. “I already dug the bullet out.”

“Phil!” he said and motioned for one of the medics to come over.

“It’s fine, I promise,” he said and let the man lift his shirt up to inspect it. Sure enough there was bullet mark surrounded by a large bruise.”

“That looks old,” James said confused.

“I heal really well,” Phil said pulling his shirt down quickly and turned the link on.

Rhodey nodded, a nagging suspicious feeling rising up inside of him. He kept it down and acted like it didn’t bother him. He was going to have to talk to Tony about that one.

“Hey!” Phil said to whoever was on the other line. “Yeah, I know, I’m sorry,” he apologised and then winced. He rubbed his side and nodded. “Yeah. No, Nat we’re fine. I promise. Thor’s a little worse for wear, but he’ll recover and we’re all safe. Yeah no, nothing wrong with me,” he said.

Rhodes swallowed and looked away from him, the nagging sensation becoming a little stronger. Yeah, Tony was getting a call later. There were too many things he didn’t understand that he needed to know.

\-------------------------------------------------

“Thank god!” Natasha said as she hurried forward to hug Phil. She pulled back and slapped his side.

“Ow,” he hissed.

“Are you injured?” she asked in a panic, fearful she’d really hurt him.

“No, not really. I’m fine,” he said reassuring her.

“Good!” she said and started hitting him quickly again. “Don’t! Make! Me! Worry! Again!” she hissed with each smack.

Steve came over and stopped her. “We’re glad you’re safe,” he said to Coulson as he pulled her away.

“Thanks,” he smiled and went to Fury as he rubbed at his abused body.

“Thor,” Natasha said hurrying over to him. He was taking off the oxygen mask and handing it back to the medics when she threw her arms around him. Banner rushed over to help him.

“Natasha,” he said fondly and hugged her carefully.

“Are you alright?” she asked looking him over.

“Yes, I am fine. I hope we did not worry you too much?” he winced apologetically.

“You’re fine,” she said smoothing out his ruined t-shirt carefully. “That’s all that matters.”

“Where is my brother?” he asked her softly.

“We…” she exhaled carefully. “Loki doesn’t know yet. We tried to make it like you were still looking.”

“When may I see them?” he asked. She sighed.

“They’re not here,” Bruce said as he looked the god over. “Loki took your patrol spot this morning. We don’t know when they’ll be back. They’re doing some personal shopping.”

“I’m sorry,” Tasha sighed. “Clint was right there when it happened and this morning we were going to tell Loki, but he looked so happy that I couldn’t bring him down with the news.”

“No,” he shook his head. “I understand. Loki’s health is very fragile. I thank you for taking it into consideration.” He hugged her again.

“I’m going to get some medical things,” Bruce said as he felt Thor’s chest. “You’re on bed rest,” he said sternly to him and then pointed to the others as he hurried off. “Everyone is on bed rest.”

Thor turned to Rogers.

“Thor,” Steve said carefully hugging him.

“Steve,” he sighed. “I am very glad to see your faces again,” he said looking between the two of them.

“Who are your friends?” he asked as they pulled back.

“These are Dr. Selvig,” he said gesturing to the man to his left.

“Pleasure to meet you,” Rogers said shaking his hand.

“And Dr. Foster,”

“Jane,” she corrected and shook Steve’s hand and then Natasha’s.

“And Lady Lewis,”

“I’m a lady,” Darcy said with a small proud curtsy as she shook Natasha’s hand and then shook Steve’s. Her face changed into surprise and she gaped at him. “Oh wow…I would totally not do lady-appropriate things with you. Hi! I’m Darcy.”

He laughed. “Hi I’m Steve, this is my girlfriend Natasha.”

Darcy still looked him over and then looked at Natasha. She gave her a thumbs-up and a huge wink. “Cute!” she hissed at her.

Everyone laughed.

“Come on. Let’s get you all something to eat and get you settled in,” Romanoff said gesturing to the door. “I’m sure you’re all tired.”

“ _So_ tired!” Darcy agreed and then pretended to stumble. “I might need a strong male to carry me inside.”

Natasha gave Steve a look and he smirked before quickly scooping Darcy up.

“AH!” she squeaked, death gripping his shoulders. She relaxed a bit as he headed toward the mansion and excitedly called back to the others, “Jane! Jane, look! A super hunky man is carrying me inside! I love this place already!”

Selvig rolled his eyes, and everyone else chuckled.

“Oh wow your arms are like _mega_ nice,” she said before they disappeared inside the house.

It was no surprise to the other three that their guests were too tired to eat a full meal, but Thor not eating anything really shocked them. They offered him something a little softer, like oatmeal or cream of wheat, but he shook his head and sighed tiredly.

“I am afraid I am too exhausted for such…” he confessed.

“Not to worry,” Steve said helping Thor up. “Let’s get you to bed so that you can rest.”

“That is a lovely idea,” he agreed.

“I’ll take him,” Bruce offered. “I need samples anyways. From the thing he was shot with.”

“Yes,” the other three avengers said.

“Great idea,” Natasha smiled and then came around to help Jane and Darcy up. “I’ve made up a room for you. I’m sorry, but you’ll have to share for now. Tony didn’t give us the keys to every room in the hall, so until the maids come –”

“Anything is fine,” Jane assured picking up her backpack. “Honestly,” she smiled gratefully.

“Yeah, even your boyfriend’s arms,” Darcy added.

Jane gently hit her in reprimand, but Romanoff and Steve found her comment amusing.

“Dr. Selvig?” Natasha asked when she noticed he’d not risen.

“I um…I’d like to sit here for a bit,” he said.

She nodded and took the girls up the stairs as Bruce helped Thor up to his room and Steve followed, loaded with the few bags they had with them.

Fury leaned back in his chair. “We have a room made up for you,” he said. “We’ve had it since the first day we came here.”

“I appreciate that, thank you,”

“You know he’s here, right?” he asked carefully.

Selvig swallowed and nodded stiffly.

“And you know he is in the same position you are in, right?”

“I wouldn’t say the same,” he replied gruffly.

“Well, I advise you to be careful with what you say,” Fury said standing. “You might still have a problem with him, but none of us here do.”

“More witchcraft, huh?” he asked a bit snippily as he too stood up.

“It’s more along the lines of forgiveness and friendship,” he said neutrally and headed toward the side of the house where he and Phil had chosen to claim as home. He gestured to the rooms as they went by. “This one is Phil’s, and this one is my own. We didn’t know what sort of privacy you wished for, so we gave you the butler’s room on the other side at the front,” he said gesturing to the room a little ways up from theirs.

“It’ll be fine,” Selvig said with a nod. “Anything is fine. I’ve slept and lived in worse places,” he said with a small smile and opened the door. It was a simple room with not much more than a bed, a dresser, a nightstand, and a door which he assumed lead to a small private bathroom. _It would do,_ he decided setting his bag down on the bed. He turned back to Fury. “I want to thank you for taking us in.”

“Stark is the one you should be thanking first, and then the rest of them,” he replied. “I’m just as grateful to be here as you are.”

“I’ll be sure to give him a call later then,”

“He’s currently in a different time zone; I’d ask Jarvis first,”

“Jarvis?” he frowned.

“Yes, Dr. Selvig?” The A.I. asked as he brought the lights in the room slowly up.

Selvig jumped with a small cry.

“It’s okay,” Fury reassured the man and then addressed the A.I.. “We don’t need anything Jarvis, thank you though.”

“Not at all Nick. Have a pleasant day,” he said before going silent.

“Who is that?” Selvig asked looking around. “The security guard?”

“In a sense,” Fury said. “He’s the artificial intelligent computer operating system Tony created. He’s in charge of pretty much maintaining everything in the mansion. If you need anything, all you need do is call for him. He’s wired through the whole of everything.”

“What no privacy anymore?” Erik asked a bit upset.

“That is your privacy,” Fury said as he left the room. “He assures you’re safe and secure from everything: all governments, private persons, and S.H.I.E.L.D. type organisations.”

Erik swallowed and looked around before he sat next to his bag. He felt like a prisoner again. A strangely free prisoner.

\-------------------------------------------------

Loki finished writing in permanent marker on the containers and stashed them away, keeping the thawed one out long enough to scoop some out and set into the dish before putting the rest in the fridge. He filled the water dish and then took them up the stairs and toward their room.

“I assume either Clint’s in mega trouble or you both got a cat,” Fury said coming at him from the opposite direction.

“You are right to assume both are correct, however the latter holds more truth,” Loki laughed.

“Congratulations. Boy or girl?”

“Boys,”

“Boys?”

“Two,” he nodded. “Adopted from the shelter. Stark’s actually.”

“I didn’t know he had one,”

“Neither did we,”

“Well very good. When they become acclimated to the new space I’d love to meet them.”

“It won’t be very long. They’re taking the move fairly well so far.”

“It’s only the first day,” Fury warned look up at the god as he reached the bottom of the stairs.

“You are correct, the night may prove me wrong,” Loki replied before turning the corner and down the hall. He stopped when he passed Thor’s door. He backed up and looked at it. It was still closed, yet the energy radiating from it suggested he was back. He made to take a step toward it, yet stopped and then thought better of it. He was probably tired. He had been gone for a while, and if he had not announced his arrival or had come seeking Loki out then he surely must be exhausted.

It made him wonder if he had succeeded in finding the woman of his dreams. Loki realised that Thor being in his room might be more in depression at not saving the girl in time than exhaustion from his efforts at searching for her. He set the dishes down near the wall and went to stand before his brother’s door. He set his hand on the handle. He was about to turn it when Banner came out of his own room.

“Loki!” he said rather loudly, and startled the god a bit by using that volume in such a small space.

“Banner,” he nodded respectfully and took a step back from his brother’s door; his heart pounding out of his chest at the encounter.

“Thor is sleeping,” he said hurrying up to him. “Him and Phil have been up for a while. He said he’d come find you once he’d rested a bit.”

“Oh,” Loki nodded. “Yes,” he sighed. “I thought as much. Do you know if their mission was successful?”

“Uh,” Bruce said and then nervously bit his bottom lip. “I’m not –”

“It’s alright,” Loki said holding up a hand quickly. “I’ll let Thor tell me. I have to return. Clinton and the kittens are waiting for me; see you later,” he said as he hurriedly picked up the little ceramic dishes.

Bruce nodded. “See you later,” he said and continued down the hall.

Loki tapped the door with an elbow.

“Password,”

He rolled his eyes. “You won’t get laid.”

“Wow,” Clint said opening the door quickly. “That was a wound I didn’t expect!”

“Where are they?”

“Checking out the bathroom. I set up the litter box in the far corner.”

“Perfect,” he came in and Clint shut the door. He set the food several feet from the door. “It is still so unsettling to see something so tiny and know it will only grow a little more.”

Clint laughed and pulled Loki into his arms. “You’re so adorable when you fret.” They smiled at one another and then kissed. There was a noise of something falling along with yowls of terror and they both tensed. “I’ll get that,” Clint whispered gesturing toward the bathroom and left quickly. Loki only chuckled as he touched his fingers to his lips and sat on their bed. “Oh man!” he heard Clint hiss.

“What is it?”

“It’s good!” he said quickly. “Just, y’know, body soap and my tooth brush on the floor. Nothing big.”

“We have spares,” Loki reminded.

“I really liked this one…”

The god shook his head grabbed his book as he fumbled with his shoes and dropped them on the ground. He lay back, curling onto his side ready to read. Something pulled at the covers and he watched as Jareth struggled to get up the side of the bed. Being a little bigger and having the advantage of a running start, Ástnæmr bound up easily and gracefully. He watched Jareth, and dipped his head toward him. It seemed to encourage the kitten for he made it up and they rolled around playing for a bit.

Ástnæmr rolled near Loki’s head and then turned, looking down at him before jumping a bit and then going to sniff at him. He recognised him instantly and began purring as he snuggled up to him. Jareth came over and curled up near his chest.

“I see how it is,” Clint said from the bathroom door. Three sets of eyes turned to look innocently at him. “Make a mess and daddy gets upset so you go and run to…other daddy–”

“Mommy,” Loki corrected and nuzzled his face into Ástnæmr’s. “They came to seek shelter with mommy.” Clint watched him with an intense look to his eyes, his lips twitching slightly. Loki locked eyes with him and suddenly felt a little anxious. “What is it?”

“Nothing,” he said holding back a smile as he sat and pulled his shoes off and then climbed up to lay with them.

“There is something,”

“It’s nothing bad,” he insisted and held still while Ástnæmr came toward him sniffing to see who he was. He touched their noses together and then lay down in front of Clint’s face, blocking Loki from the archer’s view.

“I never suggested it was. I only felt there was something.”

Clint put his leg up around Loki’s and scratched at Jareth’s back, the kitten’s bottom going up into the air as he stretched and kneaded at the bed. “Read to me?”

“I am currently reading something you’d probably find boring.”

“Try me.”

“It is an etiquette book from–”

“Nope! Got anything else?”

He smirked knowingly. “There is the Twain I have on the other nightstand.”

“I’ll get it,” he sat up and nabbed it before falling back. The bouncing of the bed caused the cats to become a little on edge; their tiny bodies tensing and heads looking around as they assessed the situation and their security. They soon relaxed once they realised no harm was coming to them. “Here.”

Loki set the other book above his head and opened this one. “Letters from the Earth. Prologue. ‘The Creator sat upon the throne, thinking. Behind him stretched the illimitable continent of heaven, steeped in a glory of light and color; before him rose the black night of Space…like a wall…’” he said and licked his lips swallowing anxiously.

“You don’t – ”

“No I’m…I’m fine,” he cleared his throat and continued. “‘His mighty bulk towered rugged and mountain-like into the zenith, and His divine head blazed there like a distant sun. At His feet stood three colossal figures, diminished to extinction, almost, by contrast -- archangels -- their heads level with His ankle-bone. When the Creator had finished thinking, He said, ‘I have thought. Behold!’,” Loki changed his voice into something mighty sounding with a touch of silliness to it. “‘He lifted His hand, and from it burst a fountain-spray of fire, a million stupendous suns, which clove the blackness and soared, away and away and away, diminishing in magnitude and intensity as they pierced the far frontiers of Space, until at last they were but as diamond nailheads sparkling under the domed vast roof of the universe.’”

\-------------------------------------------------

Natasha hid in a corner and waited for Loki and Clint to pass her on their way down to dinner before she hurried down the hall with a tray. She balanced it carefully in one hand as she opened the door to the girls’ room.

“Hey,” she said coming in.

Jane was still awake, and it looked as though she had been the entire time. Darcy, however, was snoring and dead asleep.

“Hi,” Jane said and got out of bed.

“Are you alright?” Natasha asked as she set the tray on a spare old table they’d found in the basement earlier that day.

“Yeah,” she said and tucked some hair behind her ear.

Natasha nodded and looked her over. “Well I brought you both some food. Nothing much, but I figured you’d both prefer something light still, at least until tomorrow.”

“Darcy most likely won’t wake up until tomorrow,” Jane joked and looked at her friend.

“Yeah Steven snores like that too after a big battle. I just push him onto his side and he quiets down a bit,” she laughed. “Well if you need anything, we’re the door diagonal from this one. Just across the hall. The one up is Bruce’s

“Who else is on this hall?”

“Well, the one at the very end is the master suit, that’s Tony’s. There is an empty room across from Bruce’s, yours here, Clint’s is next door, there is another smaller room that’s locked, and across from that is Thor’s and then next to his right before the stairs is a utility closet and were on the other side of him. That’s the whole wing of this side of the mansion,” she smiled at her.

“Where is Erik?” she asked and looked the tray of food over.

“He’s on the other side. If you go straight down the hall, you’ll pass the main stairs and then some offices. When you reach a wall with foggy glass panes along it and a door, you’ve reached the servants quarters and nursery section. I think they said Dr. Selvig was in the first one on the right.”

“Thank you,” said Jane as she sat before the tray.

“No problem,” Natasha assured. “I have to go back downstairs, make sure Clint doesn’t eat all of the rolls, but I’ll come back to check on you both again.”

“Okay,” she nodded.

“You don’t have to eat it if you’re not feeling up to it. It’s just in case you want it,” she reminded with a smile and left.

\-------------------------------------------------

Dinner was uneventful and Phil snuck a tray up to Selvig as Natasha distracted Clint and Loki by fighting with the archer about tomorrow’s breakfast. Well, she had hoped she’d distracted them. Loki did notice Coulson hurrying away with food and frowned a bit confused over why he’d need it. Fury hadn’t really eaten anything and had left early; perhaps the meal was for him.

Whatever the reason, Loki frankly couldn’t find the will to care about it when he had kittens to care for, so he casted all of his previous worries aside and quickly prepared for bed. Once finished, he sat in bed waiting for Clint. Ást sat in his lap, purring and snuggling against him.

Clint switched off the bathroom light and crawled into bed. Jareth pounced after him and tried crawling up using the comforter. He only managed to start pulling the blankets down off the bed.

“Here you goof,” Clint sighed as he threw the covers onto the bed and scooped up the little kitten. He dumped him onto the bed and then put the small cat bed in the middle as he crawled in. Jareth tumbled into the round soft bedding and began rolling around on it. Ást pounced on him, not one for being left out on marking new territory, and they snuggled up next to each other after a small little playful scuffle. “See,” Clint said to Loki. “Told you they’d like it.”

Loki pressed his lips together and crossed his arms over his chest. There were energies on the other side of the wall he found unfamiliar. Their presence didn’t scream hostile, but the fact there were others in the mansion made him wonder. Thor hadn’t found him yet, and if he had wanted to speak with him he would have done it by now. His suspicions and worry tripled.

“What?” Clint asked as he leaned toward Loki for a kiss.

“Nothing,” the god said shaking his head. He turned and kissed the archer before settling down.

“What is it?” he asked again.

“It’s just something Fury had said,” he half lied. “I’m just worried about the kittens.”

“They’re fine. You’ll see,” he said and turned his side light out. “We’re gonna sleep great tonight.”

\-------------------------------------------------

It was midnight and the kittens were still snuggled up between Loki and Clint, crying as they mourned the loss of their other companions. Both heroes were gently petting them, trying to help ease and calm their fears as they shifted sleeplessly on the cat bed.

“I forget about little things like this…” Clint whispered and rubbed at Jareth’s paw gently. The kitten whimpered and turned burying its face into Clint’s hand for comfort.

“We shouldn’t have taken them without showing them my form,” Loki said, the words fell from his lips heavily. Their absence from his thoughts did not lift the burden from his mind as he hoped it would and it was apparent in the way they hung around the room. Now that the excitements from the day were wearing off, the darkness of the night left space for his doubts and insecurities.

Clint propped his head on his fist. “What does that have to do with this?”

“What if I change?”

“If?”

“ _When_ I change,” he corrected with a little harshness in his voice. They locked eyes in the semi-darkness and both felt guilty for even trying to provoke the other. “How do you think they’ll react?” he asked softly, the anger and stubbornness passing from him quickly.

“Like I did. Probably not give a shit.”

“Honestly though, they’ve been through a lot and it’s…not…normal…”

Clint rubbed at his eyes and then sighed letting his arm reach across to touch Loki’s head reassuringly. “It is.”

“It –”

“For frost giants, yes,” he cut in firmly. The god looked away from him, tears in his eyes over the bluntness of the archer’s words. Barton softened his voice. “Loki you can still be a citizen of Asgard and call it your home, Jötunn or not.”

“Jötunns are forbidden to set foot upon the Realm Eternal.”

“Look at you, breaking the rules since before you could wipe your own ass,” he smiled fondly at him. Loki slapped his chest, not in the mood to be forced into laughter, the archer laughed and snatched up his hand to press kisses to his knuckles. “Seriously though. Thor said you were welcome. He’s like mini-king or whatever, so what he says goes.”

“He does not yet wear the crown.”

“But he will, and I’m sure your mother would agree.”

Loki’s lips twitched sadly and he pulled his hand back to sooth Ástnæmr once more. “In the morning, I’ll change when they are awake. I want to do it so that if they cannot…become used to it, then we may return them. I won’t make them suffer.”

“The only person suffering over this is you,” he sighed and played with the god’s hair. “Is this what was bothering you earlier?”

Loki didn’t honestly know. There were many things bothering him throughout the day. He nodded just because.

“Well, stop it.”

“I,” he bit his lip as the darkness flooded his thoughts; spreading out and settling within him comfortably.

“See, now look,” Clint sighed and sat up, carefully leaning over the cats so he could begin kissing Loki. The two felines sat up quickly and stared at Loki’s chest before looking up at him and then back. They made small growling noises.

 _Oh look, little things to play with… and then kill_! It hummed happily.

Ástnæmr moved before Jareth and hissed at Loki’s chest.

Clint straddled his lap and deepened their kiss. The darkness hissed and batted toward him, still unsuccessful in touching him. The cats got out of the little cat bed and growled, both hissing again. Jareth moved to where Clint had once been and sat on top of his paws, tail close to his body as he stared at Loki’s body. Ástnæmr on the other hand was having none of the darkness’s shit.

He hissed again, and made another low mooing growl, tail whisking aggravated back and forth, back paws stepping a little, pupils widening and then he struck as Clint sat up to try and set him away. He jumped through Clint’s hands and landed on the god’s chest where he began batting at it over and over again, rubbing his face and making displeased noises.

The darkness froze for a moment and recoiled. Loki couldn’t help but let out a strangled breath of relief as he looked down at the cat that was now licking his bare chest. Ástnæmr stopped and looked at Jareth, who had poked his head up and was waiting for a signal. It came with a simple small flick of the tip of his tail and then the kitten too was on Loki. He was snuggled up against his side, nuzzling and licking at his ribs.

The darkness made a disgusted noise and Ástnæmr hissed back in response. The entity retreated and the two cats gave Loki a few more loving licks before relaxing and rubbing affectionately against him.

“What the hell was that?” Clint asked.

“I do not think they enjoy it all that much,” Loki chuckled and petted both of them along their backs. The two stretched and purred as their bottom’s rose at the stimulation.

“Oh…well,” he shrugged and leaned in to give the god a kiss goodnight. A paw landed on his mouth and he found the Sphynx’s hard judgy stare. “What?” he asked him. Ástnæmr turned his head and started licking himself, his paw moving away. Clint went in again and was stopped. He looked down at Ástnæmr once more. “What’s the deal cat?” Again the kitten did not say anything, just sat up pushing on his mouth and began grooming himself again. Clint tried once more and was head-butted by the cat. “Oh my god!” he sighed as Loki laughed amused. “Do you see this?”

“Yes,”

“This is your fault. You picked him!”

“I picked well,” he said and rubbed the Sphynx’s neck getting him to stretch up and then down.

“Okay, back to bed. I’ve got to get up at the hour of Satan’s asscrack and I don’t want to,” he said patting Jareth’s butt. They put the kittens back into the little bed and Clint stole a kiss from the god before laying back. The kittens kneaded at the bedding and then settled down. They still cried a bit, but it was not as bad as it was before and everyone managed to finally get some sleep at last.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay this is late, because I'm [still] recovering from my best friends getting married this weekend. It was a rough [but fun] weekend. I was up until like 2 am the night before getting the wedding dress final-ready [yay hand stitching things] and only had a few hours of sleep before the morning ceremony. Gross... but everything was simple, all outside, short, sweet, and then we all hurried back to watch Game of Thrones and for me to start edits for this chapter. 
> 
> If anything doesn't sound right, just let me know and I'll clarify / fix it.
> 
> \----------------------------------------------  
> Norwegian should read [sorry if any of it is incorrect, I'm going by online translators and people who kind of know other languages]:  
>  **“Ah Ja, jeg vet at noen norske meg selv!"** \- _Ah yes, I know some Norwegian myself!_  
>  **“Virkelig?”** \- _Really?_  
>  **“Hvordangjør du?”** \- _How do you do?_  
>  **“Veldig godt, og du?”** \- _Very good, and you?_  
>  **“Flott!”** \- _Great!_


	50. Chapter 50

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! I hope you all are doing well.
> 
> All mistakes are my own fault. If something is super wonky and not clear, just let me know and I'll fix it. I hope you enjoy the chapter!

\----------------------50----------------------

Natasha was waiting for him in the hall. Loki had risen early to help rouse the archer and as he stumbled half-dressed from his room, he groaned highly aggravated.

“Come on,” she sighed. “Let’s get you some coffee,” she said pushing him toward the stairs.

“He gets to go back to sleep and I don’t,” the archer whined fixing his shoe on his foot.

“Move,” she sighed and continued to push him along. “And put your shirt on,” she added with an affectionate smile as they started down the stairs.

“Hey I thought Thor was back?” Clint said as he poked his head through his sweater.

“He is,” she said entering the kitchen.

“Then why wasn’t he at dinner?”

“He was too tired.”

“Then why isn’t he helping me this morning?”

“Because he’s tired,” she sighed and opened one of the cabinets. She grabbed the largest travel mug she could find. “Here,” she said handing it to him. “Hurry up; we’ve got places to scout.”

“Natasha, this is pointless. I hate guard duty. Everyone hates guard duty, except for you and Captain Spank-My-Ass,”

Her head snapped toward him and she glared at him.

He smirked. “Yeah, you think people can hear _us_ ,” he laughed and shook his head. “Thursday and Saturday nights; eleven-fifty-two on the dot. You always were a creature of habit.” She punched his arm hard. “Ow!” he hissed and rubbed it.

She pressed her lips together and poured them coffee. “Come on,” she said hurrying him to sweeten his mug. He stubbornly took his time. She sighed heavily. “Look, I know you might think it’s pointless, and yeah maybe us roaming around the main parts of the city is pointless, but people see us. The more they see us, and the more they see us working for them, the more they’ll realise we’re on their side and they’ll start helping us. Maybe they’ll even stop throwing garbage at your boyfriend and his brother.”

Clint was silent for a moment. “What is going on?”

“What are you talking about?”

“What aren’t you telling me?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she said leaving the kitchen, her own coffee in hand and coat zipped up, totally ready for action.

“You do,” he said screwing the lid on his and hurrying after her. He zipped up his vest before grabbing his coat and stuffed his arms into it. He shut the door behind him and rushed to catch up to her. “There is something going on and –”

“We’re being watched,” she said once they’d gotten outside.

“Oh…” he stopped. “I thought this was going to be about Thor and them.”

“Well he found all three of them. You already knew that.”

“Yeah and Rhodey swooped in and saved them, but that’s about all I know. What else?”

Natasha was silent for a moment. “They really were there to kill them, not take them in,” she whispered. “They blew up their vehicles, shot Phil and Thor, and torched all of Jane’s equipment.” She looked him up and down and then jerked her head to the side in a motion that said, ‘walk with me’, and he did.

He slung his bow across his back. “So…what happened?”

Natasha sighed. “You can’t tell Loki.”

“What do you mean I ‘can’t tell Loki’?”

“You can’t tell Loki Thor nearly died saving them.”

“What?” he gaped and then shook his head. “Wait! What!?”

“Sh,” she said covering his mouth and then swiped her card to let them out the smaller gate to the side of the large entrance one.

“Stay safe, Natasha,” JARVIS said.

“Thank you,” she said as she stepped through.

Clint swiped his card. “Thanks,” he said before the AI could respond. “What do you mean he almost died?”

Natasha sighed heavily and then started telling him the story: The whole of it from when Phil and Thor had left to them coming to the mansion. It was all from Phil’s perspective, but she added in a few observations he knew must have come from Thor.

“Holy shit,” he said when she had finished. “I thought all of that was just noise on the other line. Maybe a few fake bombs to spook them but…they seriously tried to kill them?”

“Yeah,” she said.

“Holy shit,” he said again. “That is…so unlike S.H.I.E.L.D.”

“I know,” she agreed.

“What…what the hell is going on? I thought Maria was in charge. What the fuck is she doing; playing dolls and house with the council?”

“I don’t know. It’s all confusing and frustrating. Phil came to us a few days before with news that the signals had gone out.”

“They must have put Bobbi on it,”

“Or Carter,”

“Carter’s overseas,”

“She was the one that gave Phil the message,”

“He said he didn’t see her face,”

“But that she was good and if he hadn’t known better, he’d have thought it was me. I was her S.O.,” she pointed out.

“Okay,” he said holding up his hands in surrender and took a sip of coffee. “So Carter is in on it. She’s one of us, good to know; but what is _she_ doing giving out a message like that? She’s paperwork only.”

Natasha shrugged. “The ice must be thin up there. I expect we’ll be hearing from Sitwell or May soon. Maybe even Ward or Clay.”

“Man I hope it’s Q-man or Meli. I like them much better than Stuffedwell and Queefward.”

“ _Please_ stop calling Grant that.”

“I don’t like him,” he pouted.

“I know _you_ don’t like him. _All_ of S.H.I.E.L.D. knows you don’t like him.”

“I hate that you do,”

“I don’t like him either,”

“You slept with him, you liked him.”

“I slept with him because he was sexy and new to our branch and I had to get to him before May,” she defended.

“Yeah well jokes on all of you, because Bobbi fucked him first,” he said bitterly.

“Don’t even Clint! You and her were separated by then,”

“Not legally,” he pointed out angrily. “I stayed faithful through the whole ordeal. She was the one accusing me all the time of being with others and then she was fucking around the whole time behind my back.”

“Well maybe if you trusted her more she would have been able to explain herself better,” she snapped back. “You weren’t very supportive in the intimacy area from what I remember.”

“Excuse me for having issues from being sexually abused as a child,” he nearly shouted, his temper getting the better of him. He looked away embarrassed for having lost control like that.

Natasha turned her face away as well and realised she shouldn’t have gotten angry with him about that. She felt bad for making him feel guilty for something he shouldn’t at all. “I’m sorry. I know it’s not your fault. I wish you would have told her those things though. At least a little and then told her to drop it. I hated having to have that talk with her…”

“Yeah well –”

“And you drugging her to get out of talking about your problems was wrong,” she countered back firmly. “Period.”

“Okay, one: that was honestly once, and only because she didn’t want to just talk about it; she was pressing me into telling her details and wanted to force me to go to counselling. I’d already taken care of that bullshit forever ago; why should I be expected to share that shit with a woman who never trusted me with her own demons? Especially one who went around and fucked other agents behind my back?” he almost shouted again as he grew upset.

“She didn’t fuck other agents behind your back until after you were separated,” she sighed and then stopped as the rest of what he’d said registered. “She…she did what to you?” she asked completely stunned.

“Fucked other –”

“No, the first part! The counselling,”

Clint exhaled heavily and rubbed at his face. “Bobbi couldn’t just let it go. Once she knew about it all, she was adamant that I tell her everything, and when I wouldn’t open up all the way like she wanted, she turned it on herself and tried guilt tripping me with her thinking it was all her fault. I tried telling her numerous times it wasn’t her; I just wasn’t at that stage yet where I was comfortable with her knowing everything. We fought about it a lot, but there was this one time it was bad and…I don’t know if it’s true or not, but with her you never know, y’know? She’s gorgeous! She’s witty and brilliant, so when she claimed she’d sought outside bedroom comforts I was…I was really upset. The possibility was never far from my mind, but I’d never really thought on it before until she threw that match and _boom_! That’s why our fights got worse. She tried getting me suspended from duty. She had this plan with Quee- with _Ward_ ,” he corrected, not sounding one bit happy about having to use his name appropriately. “She had planned that until I sought actual S.H.I.E.L.D. cleared counsellors I was to be grounded and even suspended on mental recovery leave.”

“Why would she do that?” she asked semi-suspiciously.

“Because she’s a fucking crazy and no one believes me when I say that,” he said exasperated and started walking again. “Look,” he said a little calmer. “I know she’s your friend and stuff, and like I stated before, and will again and again, she’s beautiful and brilliant at what she does best. Can we just forget that she exists when we’re together? I’m still…not…” he shrugged a little.

“But that’s not like Bobbi,” she frowned confused.

“Maybe the Bobbi you know, but I lived with her. I saw her after hours; I slept with her; I went overseas and did missions with her; and I…” he swallowed. “I watched her stab a lot of people in the back. She’s really great at hiding her real self. I don’t…I don’t even know if her real self is even the one I saw, but…she’s someone and she knows what to do to stay alive. No matter the costs.” He could have kicked himself in the face for saying all of that before Natasha. He saw her mouth twitch and knew he’d hurt her feelings. “I’m sorry, that was really bias and unfair of me. I’m just still burnt up about some of it. I don’t…I never got the closure I thought I would get from that whole ordeal.”

Natasha slipped her arm through Clint’s and hugged his bicep. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “If I’d have known I wouldn’t have said anything. I didn’t help that whole thing either.” She sighed, “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Because I knew you were close to her,” he replied just as softly. “There were already so many things going on, I didn’t want to add any more shit to the pot. I figured I’d leave it and what was truth would come out and what wasn’t would stay buried.”

“Well if it makes you feel any better I’ve heard Ward’s still a bad lay,”

Clint chuckled a bit. “Yeah Melinda said he was a quick shooter and a loud grunter.”

“When did Melinda have sex with him?” she gasped surprised.

“Oh I guess you haven’t heard?” he laughed. “Fury set up this small team that Phil was in charge of, before they both went out on the lam.”

“He did?”

“Yeah gave him a nice-ass plane and everything,”

“Wow,” she said with a thoughtful frown. “I want a nice-ass plane.”

“Yeah me too. Maybe if we’re good, Ol’ Saint Furious will get us one?”

Natasha laughed. “Maybe. So who else was on this team?”

“Fitz, Simmons, Grant, Meli, and two rugrats. Alisande is in charge now, but Fury’s not sure for how long. She sent word that she’s been under fire recently and has been investigated. She might have to go underground for a while.”

“Shame, she’s one of their more loyal agents,”

“Yeah but she’s also Fury’s sister,”

“Not technically, but sort of,” Natasha shrugged. “They’re making a big mistake losing her.”

“Yep,”

“Who are the two others?”

“One is Skye and the other is Valiere.”

“I haven’t heard of them,” Natasha shook her head.

“Well you could also call them by their filenames. One starts with a ‘0-8-4’, ends with ‘blue angels’; and the other starts with a ‘fallen’, ends with ‘baby bird’,”

Natasha gasped, “NO!”

“Ahuh,” he nodded.

“Phil was hanging around with those two? And now Ali? Oh man!”

“Yeah,”

“I hope the people that matter are okay,”

“And I hope Queefward gets what he deserves,” he muttered bitterly.

She sighed heavily, yet didn’t scold him from using the gross nickname. “Come on; let’s find a place that sells doughnuts. I’m hungry.”

“Can we also not do duty this morning?”

She sighed even more heavily this time. “Let’s just walk around for a bit, at least.” Clint made a whiny noise. “I’ll buy you something,” she offered.

“I already have everything I want,” he said stubbornly in a pouty voice that he was way too old to be using.

“Do you?” she asked surprised.

“Yes,” he said and held up a hand to count things off on his fingers. “I’ve got a sexy fiancé; a nice bed; cute little kittens; great friends; a roof over my head; sex on the regular; a bathroom with a real toilet; food…what more could I need?”

“I’m not sure,” she shrugged. “Maybe a giant jar of peanut butter that you can eat out of with a spoon and I won’t yell at you for doing so?”

Clint stopped suddenly. He looked at her with wide eyes. “Really?”

“Yep,” she nodded.

“We’re not talking those dinky super jars; we’re talking an industrial sized jar, right?”

“Yep,” she nodded again.

“Okay,” he agreed and sipped his coffee. “Let’s do this!” he said excitedly. “Let’s fight crime! Let’s do shit! Let’s save a city!” She laughed as he pulled her along; excusing themselves as they nearly ran into people on their way.

\-------------------------------------------------

It was a pretty uneventful morning. In fact, it was really uneventful. Nothing usual happened. No massive robbery, no police calls, no gunshots, nothing. Natasha wasn’t really happy, but Clint was ecstatic because according to him it was ‘cold as balls out’ and that meant they didn’t have to run or fight in such ‘dumb’ weather. They could just walk around and enjoy the city and they did.

When their shift was over, they bought four dozen doughnuts of various styles, refilled their coffees, and headed back to the mansion. Natasha put the doughnuts away and Clint headed back up to his room. He passed Steve on the stairs, who was ready to take on the day, and Bruce in the hall, who looked as though he had spent the night being tortured with electricity, and finally found himself in his cosy room.

The kittens were wiggling around on his side of the bed. He hurried to undress and climbed under the warm covers to snuggle up behind Loki. He jumped when the archer’s cold fingers touched his bare skin, but then relaxed when he realised who it was.

“Did you have fun?” he asked sleepily.

“Yes,” he said kissing his shoulder and then yawned. “Wake me up when it’s morning.”

Loki chuckled, “Hey.”

“Hm?” he asked.

“It’s morning.”

They both laughed a little and then fell back to sleep.

\-------------------------------------------------

Steve entered the kitchen. “Did you tell him?” he asked pouring himself some coffee.

“No,” she sighed. “I started too, but then we started talking about Thor, and S.H.I.E.LD., and his ex-wife, and then we bought doughnuts.” She smiled and opened a box.

“Nice,” he smiled down at them. “Oh look, they made a few after us,” he smiled and pointed out the ones decorated in honour of them. “They look to all be filled. Jelly?”

“A few,” she nodded. “Mine is lemon, Bruce’s cherry, Stark’s strawberry cream, Clint’s is chocolate, Thor’s blueberry, Loki’s vanilla custard, and yours is apple pie.”

“America!” he cheered and picked up the round doughnut decorated in red, white, and blue. “It looks like my shield,” he said excitedly and bit into it. “Oh that’s good,” he said and offered her a bite.

“Wow that tastes amazing,” she agreed a bit surprised. “I didn’t doubt it wouldn’t, but wow! That’s like walking into a fifties dinner and expecting to get four star comfort food and getting seven stars instead.”

Bruce entered the kitchen. “Morning,” he yawned and poured himself some coffee.

“Bruce, check out this doughnut this little bakery made in honour of you,” Steve said standing aside so he could see into the box.

“What?” he frowned and went over to look. “Are those made after us?”

“Yeah, yours is cherry,” Natasha said licking her fingers as she picked up the one made in honour of her. “Look they used tasteless red too,” she said licking her finger after scrapping some of the black widow spider symbol from off of hers. “Oh and that chocolate,” she sighed and shook her head.

“Are they all the same flavour?” he asked as he the Hulk one up.

“Cherry,” she pointed to his. “Apple pie,” she pointed to Steve’s. “Lemon,” she pointed to hers.

Bruce inspected the vibrant green frosting with drizzled electric purple lines, thinly spaced out. “I’m sort of scared to try it.”

“The lady in the shop said yours and Steve’s are the bestselling ones so far.”

“Well Yeah, who doesn’t love cherry and apple pie?” Steve asked with half his mouthful. He blushed embarrassed at his brutish behaviour and swallowed quickly. “Sorry, it’s just these are great,” he sighed staring at the doughnut lovingly. “I haven’t eaten a doughnut this good in ages.”

Bruce sniffed his and took a tentative bite. “Oh, that’s a whole cherry,” he said surprised as he hurried to eat it before it fell out of the hole he’d created. He nodded his head as he hummed and tasted it. “Wow, that’s…that’s good.”

“Don’t worry I’ve got enough for all of us to share, so take a few. You can even try the others. Clint had his already. He was super thrilled the filling is chocolate,” Natasha explained.

“Thor’s looks pretty,” Banner said.

“It’s blueberry filled,”

“Oh,” he made a small face. “That’s why it’s probably not selling as well. Blueberry is good and all, but I think raspberry would have been a better choice.”

“Agreed,” the other two nodded.

“What are the others?”

“Loki’s is vanilla custard and Stark’s strawberry cream,” she replied.

Bruce choked on his sip of coffee. He backed up a bit so if he couldn’t control his laughter he wouldn’t spray his drink all over the food. When he’d swallowed and stopped coughing he started laughing. “That’s hilarious,” he gasped.

“I know,” Natasha smiled.

“Why?” Steve asked confused.

“Tony’ll probably really love the doughnut, but Pepper’s allergic to strawberries,” he explained.

“It’s the only thing she’s deathly allergic to,” Natasha added. “He tried apologising to her once and brought a bunch of them to her. She started breaking out right after he left. Didn’t help that he dumped them in the trash in her office,” she sighed shaking her head. “He’s so stupid for being a certified genius.”

“Here, here,” Bruce said and raised his mug before taking a drink. “So I ran into Loki upstairs yesterday evening. He knows Thor’s back. He doesn’t really know much else, but I guess he could tell.”

“How do you know that?” Steve asked leaning against the island.

“He was going to open his door. He had a hand out and,” Bruce shrugged. “Y’know how sometimes you can just feel if someone’s on the other side? I’m very certain Loki really can.”

“Energy and vibrations and shit,” Natasha nodded. “Loki’s hinted at such before. Did he see Thor?”

“No, thankfully,” he sighed and sent a silent prayer of thanks to whatever controlled the universe. “He’s still on a few IVs and I’ve cleaned his wounds. They’re healing, but one where he was shot by S.H.I.E.L.D. is infected. I put him on a low dose of antibiotics. He’s sleeping them off now. I was going to head down and test the blood sample I took and compare it with the one I got before he left for Asgard and the ones I took from him when we first got to the tower.”

“How’s yours doing?” Natasha asked.

“It’s…still contaminated,” he nodded tight lipped and then got himself a plate. He picked up a few more doughnuts and then refilled his mug. “Call if you need me,” he said with a wave and left them.

“Contaminated?” Steve asked in a hushed tone once he knew Banner was far enough away.

“He meant with his serum not S.H.I.E.L.D.’s,” she clarified. “Have you ever seen it under the microscope?” Steve shook his head, ‘no’. “Well it’s really interesting. They were doing some tests in the Fridge. They added all sorts of things to the blood samples they had and his blood pretty much wiped whatever they put in it out. Cancer cells, HIV, AID’s, Hepatitis, Sepsis, Staph; they even tried injecting it into other people’s blood samples and his wiped them all out. All of it. Not a trace of any infections, disorders, or diseases. The other people’s DNA were even wiped out and not altered.”

“Wow,” he blinked surprised. “So that’s why he freaked out when he saw he’d bled on me a bit?”

“Yeah,” she nodded. “He treats his blood like he’s carrying HIV. Almost all tests have been contained to a petri dish in a lab, but we know there is a high chance it’ll mutate and kill the person and there is a small chance it’ll mutate and they’ll become something like him. Regardless –”

“He’s not going to take any chances to find out which is more likely to happen,” he nodded.

“Yep,” she said and bit at her bottom lip a bit.

They both sighed heavily at the thought.

“Do you think, when he took my blood sample, he’ll try and use it to…I don’t want to say fix, because I don’t think he’s broken, but alter his condition?”

Natasha shrugged. “I don’t think he really believes there is a way to.”

“I think there might be,” Steve said. “I just think he’s scared…I don’t think he’s fully accepted the Hulk. He’s still afraid of him.”

“I think the Hulk is connected to something deeper,” Natasha said honestly. “I know he can converse with it…but,” she shook her head and sighed. “His paperwork and records were destroyed. Stark put a virus in S.H.I.E.L.D.’s system months ago and the scientists at the Fridge squandered their samples so they’re useless now. They tried injecting a convict from a nearby jailhouse. He was on death row anyways, but he died. It would have been kinder to let him walk death row instead of what he went through.”

“What was he in for?”

“Homosexuality,” she said. “But they charged him with vicious aggravated assault to a minor. The governor’s son was twenty-four and they were roommates and lovers in college. He didn’t want his son’s ‘sinful’ activities to be found out so he worked with the police to fudge a story. We got the son though. Xavier picked him up not long after the whole ordeal. Turns out he was a mutant. His abilities weren’t fully disclosed, but the governor faked his son’s death out of shame.”

“That’s disgusting,” Steve said angrily. “People are fucking disgusting.” He froze. “Sorry,” he apologise calming down a bit.

“For being rightfully upset?”

“No, for swearing. I’ll never be sorry for being upset about that. It’s…it’s just love. Y’know?”

“I do,” she nodded, mostly because she did understand, but also curiously at his reaction to such news. She’d never seen him so fired up before.

“I think it’s stupid. Up until a few centuries ago, it was legal to love and marry who you wanted. Then one day one guy was like ‘I’m not interested in guys, so no one would be’ and now everyone is condemning people for who and how they love someone.” He shook his head absolutely repulsed over the whole of it. “Who cares if Tim and Bill are partners; or Sue and Molly; or Frank and Sandra? Who cares if any of them have kids or not? A family is two or more persons who love one another. They don’t have to be a mom or a dad and kids; they can be a single parent and their kids; an aunt and her nieces or nephews; grandparents and their grandkids or nieces; an Indian chief and his Jewish neighbour; a Catholic and an Atheist who raise Buddhist children – it just frustrates me that people are so –” he inhaled sharply and shrugged helplessly caught up in a jumble of words and emotions he’d never felt free enough to say until that moment. “Ugh!” he sighed heavily and rubbed his face frustrated.

Natasha smiled and put her arms around him. “I understand,” she reassured him. “Trust me, everyone in our family agrees,” she smiled up at him.

He gave her a grin. “Yeah, they do, don’t they?”

“Yep,” she nodded.

He leaned down and gave her a kiss. “Sorry for ranting; I should save those for people who don’t get it.”

“Rant to me all you want,” she promised. “I’ll pretend to be on the other side for good practice.” They both laughed and kissed once more before separating. “I’m going to store these,” Natasha said closing the box. “I have a feeling Darcy is a ‘hungry girl’, and although I admire her and I’m never against eating when you need to and as much as you need to, I’d like a few more of these before she unintentionally eats them all.”

“I’ll start on breakfast. What sounds good?”

“Usual?”

“Eggs, pancakes, bacon, waffles, sausages, hash browns, and fruit?”

“Sounds good,” she nodded. “Simple, hearty, and enough variety to satisfy everyone.”

“Would you mind getting some more sausage from the freezer?” he asked as he opened the fridge.

“I’ll do you one better: I’ll get you the bag I through in the fridge to thaw and another box of mix. I know the one in the cupboard is almost empty.”

“Thanks doll,” he grinned at her and gave her one of his winning flirty winks.

She smiled back and went to help gather the things they needed. When she returned she found Phil, Fury, and Selvig at the table. “Morning,” she smiled at them. The other two returned the cheery greeting, but Selvig pointed out it was technically afternoon.

Steve and Natasha looked at the clock.

“Well,” she said. “It’s eleven-fifty-eight; it’s still morning for two more minutes. At twelve-oh-one, then it’ll be afternoon, _technically_ ,” she added and started cracking eggs into a bowl.

Fury and Phil covered their smiles behind their mugs and Selvig’s face remained sour. Natasha tried not to sigh outright. It was going to be a little difficult living with him…she could already tell.

\-------------------------------------------------

“Okay?” Clint asked as he held the kittens while he sat in the middle of the bed. Loki was standing nude before them and nodded. The archer looked down at the cats. “You ready to see Mommy’s sexy form?”

“Clint.” he chided.

“Mommy’s true form that daddy thinks is royally sexy?”

He rolled his eyes and then took a breath before changing. The cats look at him. He stared at them. Ástnæmr turned in toward himself and licked at his back paw. Jareth just settled down and watched him, waiting. His face looked as though he was determined to figure out the rules and then win whatever game he thought they were about to play. Loki frowned.

“Ha, who guessed it?” he said letting the cats go. Ástnæmr rolled to the side and shook himself as he got up and stretched. “Daddy did!” Clint said picking up Jareth and kissed his nose. The kitten pushed at the archer’s mouth and then yawned. Letting the tension in his legs go and started batting playfully at Clint’s face.

“I don’t understand,” he whispered and looked at the Sphynx, who was watching him again. He held out his hand and Ástnæmr came up to sniff it before lightly digging his claws into him as he scaled his arm and rested onto his shoulders. “Are you honestly not terrified?” he asked the cat. He tickled the god’s back with his tail as he casually let it flick back and forth in a lazy manner. Loki smiled and relaxed, reaching up to rub his chin affectionately. That was the winning spot, for Ástnæmr stretched his neck out and began purring.

“I mean cats are like nearly colour blind or something,” Clint shrugged.

“Your felines are colour impaired?” Loki asked surprised.

“Yeah, are Asgardian ones not?”

“No,” Loki said shaking his head. “In fact they have the ability to see energy as well.”

“What do you mean?”

“All things, living and not, have energy. It’s storied, transferred, or used in some way or another.”

“Oh like potential and kinetic?”

“Exactly,” Loki nodded with a smile.

“And Asgardian cats can…see that?”

“Yes, why not yours?”

Clint shrugged. “Who knows, maybe they do? Not too many people care that much about cats to find out. I mean they care, but as far as humans are concerned they’re just companions. Most don’t care what they can and can’t see specifically.”

“Aren’t you concerned that your companions are colour blind and can’t sense energy?”

“I mean…” he shrugged. “So long as they are healthy and happy, I don’t care what their limitations are. Besides, I can’t sense energy, so why should I judge them for not having that ability?”

Loki was silent for a moment. “I suppose with them being so small such things make a difference. Asgardian felines are used as battle companions or as familiars to those that practice seiðr.”

“Deer?” he said confused, not catching some of what Loki had said before.

“What?” Loki asked with a bewildered frown.

“You said to say deer, so I did,” he shrugged.

“No, I said _SAY-_ dear,” he said slowly. “It is a title for those who practice magic.”

“Oh,” he said.

Loki had to resist rolling his eyes. Clint could be so dumb sometimes, but he did adore him dearly.

“Like what you do?” he asked curiously.

Loki nodded and rubbed behind Ást’s ear. “Yes.”

“Please don’t try to ride our kittens into battle,” he begged.

Loki laughed and moved toward him. “I promise if you’ll do the same.”

“I promise,” he grinned up at him. They shared a kiss. “To breakfast?” Clint asked setting his kitten down as he climbed out of bed.

“Yes,” Loki changed back and held his arms out before his chest. Ástnæmr hesitated for a moment before carefully dropping down into them and then landed onto the bed. They dressed in simple dark jeans and long sleeve shirts and a cardigan for Loki. Clint tossed his underwear foolishly onto the sheets. Jareth snagged the underwear up and made a run for it, diving under the bed, much to Ástnæmr and Loki’s amusement, but Clint’s exasperation. The second pair was put on quickly with a pillow thrown at Loki for laughing out loud at him. Ástnæmr and Jareth made a dash with the socks to add to their treasure pile.

“We’re going to have to clean out from under their weekly,” Clint nodded toward the bed as he pulled his pants on. Loki laughed in agreement and fetched them another pair, making sure to keep a hold of Clint’s pair until he was ready to put them on.

Once dressed, they petted the kittens until they were almost asleep and then left to go downstairs. As they descended the stairs they found the kitchen buzzing with unusual energy, especially at so early an hour. Loki wished they’d have maybe waited a bit before coming down now. He pulled his long grey cardigan closed and crossed his arms before his chest; it was too late to turn back, all they could do was continue on.

Now that they were closer he could distinguish voices, many of them he did not recognise. He did recognise their energies. They were the ones from the other side of the wall. There was also a familiar one, but he couldn’t place who it belonged to. Clint made a face and he realised Thor was successful in his mission.

“Hey!” a female cried out. “Give me that back!”

“You have to save some for Loki and Clint,” Natasha’s voice chided.

“Come on,” she whined.

They rounded the corner to find two new persons, one familiar one, and Thor along with everyone else in the house, with the unusual exception of Fury.

“Brothers!” the thunder god called and went to Loki first. They awkwardly embraced or a moment, and then he shared a full hug with Clint. “Would you care for some coffee?”

“Yes,” Clint sighed gratefully and scratched his head nervously as he entered. He grabbed Loki’s hand to drag him further in when he noticed he hadn’t immediately followed him.

“I have tea already seeping for you,” Bruce said to Loki and indicated the white and blue striped mug on the counter.

“Thank you,” he said feeling very overwhelmed and quickly went to take up the cup to hold. It helped ground him a bit as he stood off to the side near the far counters. It made the god feel a little less self-conscious too.

“We have bacon, eggs, pancakes, waffles, sausage patties, shredded hash browns, and fruit,” Steve listed off as though he were a professional cook for a diner. “What’ll it be?”

“Bacon!” the young woman with plump lips, long dark wavy brown hair, and dark and light grey striped hand warmers said raising her hand high in the air. Loki caught a flash of her aura and found it mostly pink with a little touch of lavender and darker pink.

“Shush and each your food,” Selvig said gesturing to her plate as he avoided looking at Loki, yet kept himself ever alert.

“Introductions!” Thor called and grabbed Loki’s arm bringing him to the side of the table where the new persons were. “This, my brother, is Darcy Lewis.”

“Oh,” she exhaled and looked the god up and down. “How do _you_ do?” she smiled extending her hand and batted her eyelashes several times.

Loki dutifully bowed and kissed her hand. “It is an honour.” Darcy just laughed and twirled a piece of her hair slowly.

He gave her a small smile as he let her go and turned to the woman next to her and offered his hand; “Hello, my name is Lo–” he was cut off by the sharp turn his head had taken and the stinging sensation spreading across his face. Clint was over in a rush and so was Bruce. The god shook his head as he straightened and touched the side of his mouth to check for blood. Nothing. He gave a small very amused laugh and looked at Thor. “I like her.”

“Wait, ‘Lo’ as in ‘Loki’ as in…” Darcy shivered disgusted, making a small disappointed noise as she looked his body over again sadly before turning away completely disinterested. It wounded Loki in more ways than one, mainly because it reminded him of how many of the court treated him. His playful smirked dropped as he took a self-conscious back and found Clint’s body pressed up against his. The archer brought his hands up to rub at his arms and kissed his shoulder. It helped make him feel a little better; however, it wouldn’t change his bad reputation with these three.

“You already know Selvig,” Jane snapped, her words biting hard enough to nearly draw blood. Loki looked away from the overbearing black energy coming off of the man. He suddenly felt suffocated by it all and his spirits darkened further. The darkness began seeping out and Clint wrapped his arms around the god and gave him a hug to try and keep it back.

“Greetings…Dr. Selvig,” Loki said softly and looked down at his tea.

“Sup?” Clint said giving a small wave. The man didn’t answer to either of their salutations.

“What happened to you?” Loki asked noticing Thor’s low energy, as well as the scrapes and bandages on their faces. Clint shared a quick glance with Natasha. He gave her an apologetic pleading look and she continued to glare darkly at him. Loki then realised what he’d been keeping from him.

“We had a brave and mighty battle,” Thor smiled proudly. “Phil was most courageous.”

The agent made a noise and waved the comment away. “It was just a couple of explosives and tons of S.H.I.E.L.D. agents. Thor’s the real hero.”

“I flipped a camper upright,” he beamed in a cocky manner.

Loki suddenly felt sick. He swallowed and looked around. “I should…return upstairs. The kittens need their morning meal,” he gently broke out of Clint’s hold and hurried to the fridge where he grabbed the food container. “Thank you,” he said again to Bruce and lifted his mug, to indicate what he was grateful for, as he left.

“Yeah, I’ll get us something,” the archer called playing it cool and started working on filling two plates up. “He’s probably going to go back to sleep,” he muttered a bit unhappily.

“Rough night?” Phil asked stirring the sugar in his coffee.

“Oh yeah, and I think tonight might be too. They got so used to being around so many others that now it’s just the two of them and us…well it was the first night,” he shrugged. “I guess I’m just being impatient.”

“With what?” Darcy asked over a mouthful of eggs, having not paid attention to anything other than her food.

“Our kittens.”

“What!?” she perked up eyes wide.

“Loki and I got kittens yesterday.”

“I thought you said you were only getting one?” Natasha asked adding a few extra bacon pieces to Clint’s plates.

“I told you yesterday at dinner we found our soul-cats. And honestly, the way he was holding him and the looks and his smile?” He sighed in a fond manner. “I just couldn’t say no to him. And then the one _I_ found and his tiny face and little body and high mew and I just,” he shrugged with a huge fond smile upon his face, “So now we have two.”

“What kind are they and their names?” Darcy demanded in an all business-type manner.

“Darcy,” Selvig asked quietly trying to get her to stop talking about it.

“I need to know Erik!”

Clint chuckled. “Mine is a Silver Rosetted Bengal named Jareth –”

“Of course!” Tasha sighed to herself and shook her head as she put fruit onto one of his plates and then sausages onto the other.

“And Loki got a calico Sphynx and his name is Ástnæmr.” He said the feline’s name in the same bold way he would imitate the dragon calls on Skyrim.

“A good name!” Thor cheered and drank to the health of their cats.

“How are they together?” Steve asked putting a fresh plate of pancakes out onto the island.

“Very well actually. They hit it off right at first nose bump and tag teamed to steal our socks this morning. I have a feeling we’re going to have to clean those out from under our bed weekly.”

“Whose bed?” Darcy asked unable to stop her nosy habit.

Selvig flinched and Jane hit her shoulder to get her to stop talking. Clint just smiled at her and honestly replied, “Loki and mine’s.”

Her mouth fell opened and her food dropped out, however, she quickly managed to catch the small amount of pancake before it could land somewhere destructive and set it onto her plate. “What!?” she squawked shocked.

Clint shrugged. “The bed that currently belongs to Loki and myself?” he smirked and added in a seductive tone, “La camade una amor prohibida.” Natasha knocked him upside the head on her way around the kitchen to get the pancakes Steve had put out. “Ow!” he said and rubbed the spot a bit. She put several fresh pancakes onto their plates and then slapped him once more, just because, before going to the fridge. “Ow! Tasha! What was that for?” he demanded a bit angrily.

“What was what for?” she looked at him wide eyed and innocent.

“Jealous,” he muttered and got a stick of butter thrown at his chest. “Hey now!” he warned about to aim it back at her, but realised she’d thrown him another thing. He set the stick down quickly and caught the small glass jar of syrup before it could hit the island.

“It’s the new one, so bring it back when you are done,” she instructed and then pulled out a small piece of cheese and set it on Loki’s plate. “For the little ones, now get!”

“Where are the doughnuts we got this morning?”

“There are doughnuts?” Darcy asked excitedly.

“No,” Natasha and Clint said: one to prevent the girl from eating all of their food and the other to keep anyone from eating the food he liked.

“You have enough already,” Natasha said and turned him toward the door. “You can come back and get more later. Don’t forget you have responsibilities to littles now. Go take care of them,” she shooed him off. He tucked the syrup under his arm, put the butter onto the corner of his plate and grabbed up their food and two forks before leaving.

He had just reached the top of the stairs when he noticed Loki was kneeling a little ways down the hall. He hurried to him and set his stuff down. “Loki?” he asked quietly.

“I’m…I’m fine,” he said pressing a hand to his forehead as he began to shake violently and pant; his other hand rubbed nervously at the top centre part of his chest. “It’s…it’s nothing.”

“It’s not nothing it’s the –”

_Darkness!_ It purred and danced around excitedly. _Weak selfish imbecile! Rotten no good monster! Unloved thing! Wretched disgust!_ It sang and drank in Loki’s fading self-esteem.

Clint went to the stairs and activated his earpiece and held it to his mouth. “Bruce,” he whispered. “Carefully grab my cup, make a new cup of tea, and bring them up stairs, please. Keep it DL.”

It was a few minutes before Bruce hurried out with a loud, “Yeah I promise I won’t be cute’d to death by the cats.” He raced up the steps, set the mugs down, and put his glasses on as he sat before Loki. “What’s wrong?”

“It’s the thing,” Clint explained as he helped keep Loki from falling over forward and bashing his face into the long hallway rug. “It’s awake and doing no good.”

Bruce pulled a small flashlight out of his pocket and held up Loki’s face as he shinned the light in his eyes. Loki hissed and turned his face away, his pupils were dilated unnaturally large. “Did it just start up again?”

“No,”

“When else has this happened?”

“It came back last night,” said Clint.

“What brought it about?”

“Loki’s self-doubts about the cats and his…magic,”

Bruce gave him a look that said he knew that wasn’t the complete answer, yet he kept further questions about it to himself as he felt Loki’s forehead and then checked his pulse. “When else?”

“Right after Phil and Thor left to get Jane. It was really brief and I didn’t think anything about it. They’ve come and gone randomly for so long.”

Bruce hummed as he thought about that information. “Loki, I need you to try and calm your breathing. I know it’s hard, and I know there is a lot going on inside, but if you don’t we’re going to have to get Thor up here.”

“NO!” Loki shouted. Clint grabbed his hands and held them, turning the god around so that Loki’s back was pressed against his chest. He rocked him back and forth and made soothing noises.

Natasha’s light footsteps came up the stairs. “What is it?” she asked quietly.

“Darkness,” Bruce explained removing his glasses. “Keep everyone in the kitchen.”

She turned and made a signal to Steve, who was waiting at the door for her. “It’s nothing,” she called back naturally. “Just the cats got out. We’ve got them. Things are fine.”

“Okay,” Steve nodded and put on a smile with a wave. He turned and said something dull to the others to discourage anyone from becoming curious.

Romanoff knelt next to Bruce, “What needs to be done?”

“We have to calm him down,” Bruce said. “It seems to be affecting him like a panic or anxiety attack,” he rubbed at his chin thinking. “I almost wonder if we can treat it like one and give him something to suppress those symptoms.”

“What do you need?”

“In my room on the shelf near the far window is a small bottle, grab that as well as a disposable syringe, swab, and gauze from the medical room.”

“Done,” she said rushing off.

“NO!” Loki struggled against Clint. “I don’t want it!”

“Shhh,” Bruce soothed and helped lower the god to lying with his head in Clint’s lap. He turned him on his side and kept a steady and heavy hand upon his shoulder. “It’s okay, just try breathing. Can you breathe with me?”

“No,” he managed as his breathing sped up to short rapid puffs that were starting to make him dizzy.

“Try with me? Inhale,” they both did, Loki with some difficulty before he let it out and then resumed his early panting. “Inhale.”

_No one loves you._ A imaged flashed in his mind of Vakri, one of the guards he’d been romantic with. His sweet words and gentle touches in golden light, then turned sour and hard by his powerful hand upon Loki’s back and sharp crude jokes at Loki’s expense and embarrassment among the people in Asgard.

“Shut up,” he hissed through clinched teeth and squeezed his eyes shut.

“What?”

“Don’t take it personally, it’s the darkness he’s talking too,” Clint explained.

_No one wants you._ A flash of himself hanging off the Bifrost with Odin’s disappointed glare staring him down. Odin telling him the truth of his heritage. Thor and he as children pretending to kill all of the monstrous Jotuns.

“Stop!” he begged.

“Inhale Loki,” Bruce tried again. Loki did.

_Thor brought Selvig to –_

“Silence!”

“Inhale,”

Loki did again and they repeated this cycle for a few more minutes before Natasha returned.

“No!” Loki whined and pushed away from Bruce and her.

“Shhh, no look, remember? It only hurts for a second but then it goes away,” the scientist said calmly as he set up the syringe.

Clint gathered him up into his arms again and leaned forward, kissing Loki’s temple, “You remember last time?”

“I don’t want it,” he said and turned, burying his face into Clint’s body. “Please…” he whispered. The archer rubbed his back and arms in comfort before he held him tightly. Natasha put her hands on Loki to help keep him still as Bruce pushed up his sleeve, swabbed a spot clean, and then gently administered the medicine.

“Shhhhh, it’s okay,” Clint said and kissed his face several times, as Loki’s legs fidgeted and he made a noise of distress. “It’s okay.”

“All done,” Bruce promised and put the syringe down as he pressed the gauze to the spot. “All done.” They waited as Loki’s body fought against the medicine and the darkness. He slowly calmed and then completely became limp.

“Okay…” Banner exhaled quietly and carefully moved back. Natasha and he looked up at Clint who nodded indicating that the entity was, once again, supressed. “I’ll telephone Pepper to send in one of the doctors to get us a supply of Ativan in pill form. He needs to take them the moment he feels the darkness isn’t going to play nice.”

“How many?” Clint asked.

He shrugged. “Most people take one or two depending upon the prescription. If we get his compounded, it’ll work faster. Not as fast as this method, but if he takes them soon enough he should be fine.”

“And if he doesn’t take them fast enough?” asked Natasha.

Banner shrugged. “Then I guess we’ll just dip into our liquid reserves. If it becomes too much of a problem I’ll give Tony a ring. I’m sure he can come up with a device that mimics an EpiPen.”

“Do you want us to tell Thor?” Romanoff asked as she ran her fingers through her hair and stood.

“No,” Clint shook his head. “I’ll do it later. I don’t want to worry him now and take him from his guests. It’ll be too suspicious and only keep them uneasy around Loki.”

She nodded and held out her hands. “Do you need help taking him back to the room?”

“Yeah,” Clint turned Loki a bit and brushed his long hair back from his face. “Hey there…” he smiled down at him. Loki opened his eyes sleepily and barely shifted. “Are you ready to be moved?”

_Yes…_ he whispered and closed his eyes again.

Clint nodded. “Okay let’s get you back in bed.”

“I’ll carry him,” Bruce offered. “That way you both can get the stuff and then the cats if they really do escape.”

“Grand idea,” Barton handed the god over to the scientist who tapped a little into the other guy’s strength and lifted the being with ease.

“Leave it,” Natasha said to Clint when he went to grab Loki’s dropped mug. “I’ll get it when I come back through.”

They gathered the food and headed for the room. The cats were rolling around on the bed when the door opened. They froze and then jumped down, rubbing up against Clint and watching the other two with cautious curious uncertainty. Their meows and chirping purrs showed how happy and relieved they were. Their body language suggested that they thought they’d never see Clint or Loki again.

Bruce set the god down on the bed and Clint put the food on their little table before bending down to snag up Jareth. Ástnæmr hurried and climbed up the side of the bed to Loki’s side.

“Hey buddy,” he kissed the kitten, who set his paws on the archer’s face and rubbed against him. “Did you miss us? We took a little longer than expected, sorry.” He looked at Natasha and went to her. “This is Auntie Natasha. She’s good people.”

“This is Jareth?” she asked.

“Yeah, he’s not a hundred percent with his name yet since he hasn’t really had it for a full day, but he’ll get it.”

She smiled at the kitten and offered her hand in friendly greeting. He sniffed it and then flicked his tongue out at it before rubbing his nose and mouth against her fingers. Clint handed the kitten over and went to check on Loki.

Ástnæmr was waiting by his side patiently as Bruce helped Loki to lay against some pillows he had set behind him. Only when the god was settled with the blanket over his lap did the cat move to sit on him. He snuggled up to him and gave a worried meow. Loki sluggishly moved to put his hand on the tiny warm body and rubbed his thumb over the soft skin in comfort.

The cat nosed at it demanding more and then meowed again. Clint sat on the bed and petted the little one. “Mommy’s a little sick.”

“ _Mommy_?” Natasha frowned looking at Clint.

“Well Loki didn’t like ‘other daddy’, and technically he is one.”

“You’re a mom?” Bruce asked looking at the god curiously.

Loki nodded slowly and swallowed as he closed his eyes.

“And father,” Clint added. “But y’know, we can pull out baby pictures later and stuff.”

Natasha came over and set the kitten down onto the bed. “Now that I’m looking at you both, it makes more sense for him to be considered the mom.”

“Why?” Clint snapped defensively. “I can be a mom!”

“Yeah no. You have more of an aggressive provider-hunter complex, and he’s more of the aggressive protector-gatherer.”

“I can gather things,”

“Picking arrows out of dead bodies is not a gathering trait.”

“Technically,” he muttered and watched his cat fall over next to Loki.

“Yeah, no,” she shook her head and knelt holding out her hand for the Sphynx to sniff.

“This one climbs,” Clint warned.

“Does he?” she smiled and relaxed her arm a bit as he set a paw onto her forearm and sniffed around her hand. “What was this one’s name again?”

“Ástnæmr,” Clint projected mightily and held his hands out in a dramatic fashion.

“Hello Ástnæmr,” she tickled the side of his face. “You are beautiful! I’ve never seen a calico Sphynx.”

“This one is a little older?” Bruce asked gesturing to Ástnæmr and then held his fingers out for the cat to sniff.

“Yes, they both have guestimates to their ages, but he is older than Jar,”

“Jar?” she made a face as the shorthair padded up to her hand.

“He needs a nickname,” Clint defended himself.

“That’s like calling someone named ‘Carl’ ‘Ca’,”

“Don’t judge me,”

“And does mommy like this name?” she asked in a cutesy voice to the kitten.

_No,_

“He says he does,” Clint lied.

Loki smacked his hand against the archer’s leg and the other two Avengers knew the truth.

“Alright,” Clint said with a sigh, “I didn’t think it through all of the way before I said it.”

Natasha rolled her eyes and shook her head. “As usual.”

“Okay, we’ve spent long enough away from the others and I’m sure you’d both love to eat,” Bruce sighed and gave the Sphynx a small gentle pat on his head before taking several steps back.

“Quick,” Natasha whispered to the Bengal kitten. “Get in my shirt, I’ll smuggle you to safety. They’ll never know.”

“He’s perfectly safe here,” Clint rolled his eyes and pulled his cat away from her, holding him close to his chest jealously. “Now get before he decides he likes you better than me. We haven’t fully bonded.”

Natasha laughed and then petted Ástnæmr farewell quickly before she followed Banner to the door. “I’ll be back!” she promised in a singsong voice.

“Take your time,” Clint replied.

Bruce and Tasha waved and slipped out the door.

“Jar?” Loki breathed and had just enough strength to furrow his brows.

“Don’t judge me,” he sighed, knowing he was never going to live that one down.

\-------------------------------------------------

“What happened?” Steve asked when Natasha came back.

“The cats got out,” she replied and set the cup in the sink he currently had his hands in.

“No I mean,” he looked over his shoulder at the guests and then lowered his voice. “What really happened?”

“He tripped and the cats got out,” she said again as though she couldn’t believe she had to repeat herself.

Steve sighed and then shook his head. “Fine.”

“Fine,” she stood on her tiptoes and kissed his cheek. “I saw the cats.”

“Are they cute?”

“Adorable,”

He laughed. She reached under one of the cabinets off to the side and pulled out a towel. “What’s that for?”

“Tea spill.”

“What happened?”

“The cats got out,” she answered cheerily as she bounced out of the kitchen and to the stairs to clean it up.

Steve just sighed again but admired her loyalty.

“What’s wrong?” Phil asked gesturing to Natasha leaving. He’d said it loud enough that Rogers knew their three guests had heard and where most likely listening.

“Cats just got out and knocked over some tea.”

“Ah,” Phil nodded, used to only getting the bare minimum in details. “They are uh…very clever.”

“Yep,”

“So what do you do for fun? Y’know, apart from letting an evil villain stay under your roof and all?” Darcy asked. Jane and Selvig both slapped one of her shoulders with the back of their hands at the same time. “Ow!” she cried crossing her arms and holding the spots. She looked at each upset and rubbed her arms slowly.

“Well in order to be considered ‘evil’ or a ‘villain’, one has to continuously plot to either take over the world, steal something, or needlessly kill,” Bruce said adjusting his glasses as he sat, his voice collected and very articulate, as though he were reading a dictionary definition. “or just give us a hard time needlessly.”

“And since Loki doesn’t do any of those things he’s not considered evil or a villain,” Rogers finished as he turned the water off and dried his hands.

“He did once,” Selvig replied with quiet viciousness.

“Ah, there is something we should probably tell you,” Banner said, his voice and face apologetic. “I know you’re upset about what happened –”

“Upset?” he barked, his voice rising a little with his unreleased anger. “You think I’m just upset about what –”

“I would advise you to never cut me off again, old friend. You of all people should know better than to tempt my darker side,” Bruce reminded him, his tone dangerous and laced with a heaviness that made Eric sit back a bit and shut his mouth. “Now, as I was saying before. I know you’re upset about what happened, however you should know and keep in mind that Loki was under the same mind control.”

“Is that what he told you?” he replied tightly; his body tense and his tone clipped.

“He didn’t have too. We have three ways of knowing. One: When Thor took the Tesseract back to Asgard, Loki’s personality changed. He became less aggressive and very quiet. The second: The levels of dopamine in his system dropped compared to the first samples we took off of him when he was taken into custody. And lastly, my personal favourite, number three: I beat the shit out of him and his eyes changed colour.”

“Cognitive recalibration,” Phil said as a reminder. Selvig touched his head and winced remembering his own painful way to almost clarity. “There is a fourth: S.H.I.E.L.D. ordered Xavier to read his mind and it showed that a faceless figure touched the sceptre to Loki’s chest before putting it into his hands.”

“I’m sure _he_ told you that,” Jane spoke up, a bit too nasty for her normal character.

“Actually no, Xavier showed me what he saw,” said Phil neutrally. His decision to not sink to such a low level of rudely replying back proved a much greater choice of weapon than anyone had anticipated.

Jane shifted uncomfortably in her chair and looked away embarrassed.

“So, now that we’ve established where we all stand there,” Banner said leaning back in his chair and turned a smile to Darcy, “We play games, train, work on our own personal projects, watch movies, have baking contests, and take shifts to patrol the city and occasionally fight crime.”

“Sounds like fun,” she said with a sincere smile.

“Every other Thursday night is girl’s night,” Natasha added pouring herself another cup of coffee. “Men are welcome to join if they embrace their inner female power.”

Darcy turned to Thor, “Have you accepted your inner female power recently?”

“I embrace my goddess-side warmly. The green tingly facials are very fun,” he admitted honestly.

“Huh, attractive, good spirited, witty, intelligent, _and_ comfortably in tune with his femininity,” she bumped Jane’s arm and wiggled her eye brows at her as she ran her tongue over a few of her teeth. “Only one more spot to check mark in. Hope he gets a big fat one.”

Jane glared at her. Thor and Natasha giggled as they waited for the others to get the joke. Banner and Phil lost it, Steve buried his laughter in the fridge, and Selvig got up and left the room. Darcy was pleased and rewarded herself by stealing his bacon.

\-------------------------------------------------

Maria threw the conference doors opened and took a moment to glower at the people waiting for her before marching to the front of the room. Sam was behind her, back straight, head held high, face just as serious and upset as hers.

She turned sharply once at her spot, giving each person a hard look as she waiting for Sam to stand before his seat. “Sit!” she ordered.

Everyone quickly did so.

Sam and Alisande exchanged a secret glance before opening their files and giving their attention to Hill.

“I…” she began in a soft, and too controlled voice, as she stared down at the table and her tightly clasped hands before her; “would very much like it if someone would explain to me, what the _hell_ happened yesterday!?” she finished loudly and looked at them all again.

“It would appear,” Sitwell said speaking up. “That the team sent to take care of Dr. Foster and her companions failed –”

“We didn’t fail,” Ward said cutting him off. “They had help from an–”

“It was only the U.S. Military,” Clay said sarcastically with a shrug as he sat back. “Hasn’t ever stopped us before. Why now, Ward?”

“None of our other encounters with them had one of Stark’s friends involved,” Ward snapped defensively.

“Why was there even a hostile encounter to begin with?” May asked calmly, though she felt far from such. She added a hard look at Ward.

It brought about a round of vicious arguing between Clay, Ward, and Sitwell. Agent Hand eventually chimed her point of view in, reminding Sitwell and Ward that their orders were not to kill, but to capture.

Ward rose from his chair angrily and pointed aggressively at her. “We were given –”

“STOP!” Hill shouted slamming her hands on the table as she stood. “SIT DOWN!” she demanded pointing to Ward. He quickly shut his mouth and did as he was told, looking abashed for his actions. She took a deep shaky breath. Sam could see she was trying to hide how badly she was trembling. “ _Who_ …” she paused closing her eyes as she took another breath and tried again in a more controlled tone, “Who has a copy of the order after I sent the original out?” Clay, Sam, May, Alisande, Sitwell, Hand, Blake, and Ward looked among themselves and then back at her. Hill looked at all of them. “Who isn’t here?”

“Garrett and Bobbi,” Sam said checking the roster for the meeting. “Bobbi is due back any minute from a mission. Her arrival was delayed due to the incident in Virigina. The government has issued all persons in the streets, abandoned places, ships, and cars and homes belonging to suspicious persons to be searched and questioned. All flying crafts have been asked to land for inspection. The whole of the state has shut itself down, and others around it are considering doing the same.”

“Garrett must have them,” Blake said looking around again.

“Why would he have them?” Hand asked. “He’s – ”

“Sorry he’s late,” said man stated entering the room. He had his arms raised as though he were acknowledging an adoring crowd’s cheers for him. His smile was warm and charming, showing off the level of his ego. Everyone stared quietly at him, most of them highly displeased.

“Agent Garrett,” Maria snapped. “Did you sign off on the order I sent out?”

“I did, and I have it with me too,” he said pulling the folded up paper from his inner coat pocket. He removed his sunglasses as he came around to give it to her. Sam stood in his way. John laughed amused. “Step aside tiger,” he said patting his shoulder.

Sam remained in his way and gave him a hard look to show he wasn’t going to back down out of his proper place easily.

John looked him over impressed and nodded. “I like you,” he said with a smile and gave him the paper.

“Please take your seat so we may continue,” Sam said formally.

He shrugged and went to sit at the far end of the table. He leaned back and spun in his chair slowly from side to side. Hand and Blake were not impressed with his display and returned their attention back to Hill.

May caught the looks exchanged between Garrett, Ward, and Sitwell. She pretended to look at Clay, who thankfully caught her eye and gave her a wink. She gave him a small smile back. Ward noticed it; his ears turned red and his jaw clinched, but other than that he didn’t say anything. Garrett noticed his reaction as well and threw a dark look at May, who ignored it.

Maria finished looking over the paper Sam had given her and she slammed it on the table. “Agent Garrett when was your last physical exam?” she asked sharply.

“Uh…why?” he grinned deviously at her.

“When was it?” she asked folding her arms before her chest as she glared at him.

“I passed it with flying colours, so don’t worry. All of my parts work just fine,” he winked at her.

She swallowed down the inclination to puke at his not so subtle suggestion and pointed to the paper. “Then did you change my order?”

“I changed it?” he asked in an innocent manner that wasn’t too convincing.

“I expressed the need for Dr. Foster and her two companions to be brought in alive and unharmed, and you have reworded it to,” she looked down at the paper and read, “‘Effective immediately: Dr. J. Foster and her two travelling companions: D. Lewis and Dr. E. Selvig’, descriptions then listed, ‘are to be terminated upon the request of Director M. Hill and Councilman A. Pierce.’” She looked up at him. “How did my order of ‘are to be taken in alive and unharmed’ with both the councilman and mine’s signature turn into your version?”

Garrett shrugged. “Beats me?”

She narrowed her eyes at him. “Do you think this is a game?” she asked coldly.

“No, ma’am,”

“Do you think you’re funny?”

“Sometimes,” he said with a smile as he considered the question.

Maria opened her mouth about ready to tear him a new one when Councilman Pierce walked through the doors.

“Greetings!” he smiled at them. Everyone rose and said their polite greetings. “Ah! Maria!” he said affectionately and went to her. “I just heard about the mess in Virginia. I’m sorry about all of the confusion,” he said taking her hands. “I guess there was a problem with the system and several orders were scrambled and misprinted,” he explained and patted her hands with a smile. She stared at him bewildered that he was touching her in such a manner. “Don’t worry, everything has been fixed and the original order had been resent out. I’ve talked to the council and the governor of Virginia and everything is alright.”

Hill gave him a polite smile, which she hoped looked warm and grateful enough. “Thank you, councilman. However, you did not have to come all of the way down –”

“Nonsense you’re my special project!” he said patting her back and then addressed the room. “So, unless anyone else has anything to say or present to Director Hill, we should stop wasting time and start looking for a way to bring the Avengers into custody. Don’t forget they have aliens with them; aliens who tried destroying our world.”

Everyone nodded dutifully in agreement and began gathering their things as they rose and left. When enough of them had left the room Pierce turned to her; his hand on her arm tightening painfully and his face darkened.

“We need to talk,” Pierce said to her in a stern soft voice. She didn’t like how quickly he went from warm and friendly to threatening and angry. She nodded and gathered her things as fast as she could with her free arm. She looked to Sam. “I left a list of the things I need you to do on my desk. Please take care of it all before I return.”

He nodded. “Yes, Madam Director.”

Hill let Pierce drag her through another door further into the room. Sam hung back a bit and watched her until she was out of sight. He turned and found Bobbi looking around at the room.

“If I would have known it was going to be a short one, I would have just said I couldn’t make it,” she said.

“It was planned to be longer; we didn’t even get to the second topic,” Sam explained and then smiled at her. “Sam Wilson,” he said holding out his hand to her.

“Bobbi Morse,” she said taking it to shake. “Would you mind catching me –”

“Bobbi!” Clay exclaimed as he came down the hall and held out his arms.

“Clay!” she said and rushed to give him a tight hug. “How are you?”

“Much better now that I’ve seen your pretty face,” he grinned and looked her up and down. “You cut your hair.”

“I’m about to dye it too,” she explained with a smile.

“Undercover?”

“Can’t tell,” she smiled with a finger to her lips and winked. They both laughed.

“I’m sorry,” Clay said looking between her and Sam. “I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

“It’s fine,” Sam said holding up a hand. “It’s better if you give her the updates; I have a packet of work that needs to be done before I fly back out.”

“So I guess asking you out for dinner would be pointless?” Clay said suavely.

Sam gave him a small smile. “If I have some free time maybe.” He waved to Bobbi as he headed off. “It was nice meeting you.”

“Same,” she smiled and then turned to Clay very seriously. “One: he’s yummy. Two: You hitting that yet?”

Clay laughed and sighed as he put his arm around her as he led her away. “We’ve got a lot to catch up on.”

\-------------------------------------------------

Ward slammed the door to May’s tiny apartment opened.

“Oh, no, come on in,” she said with just a hint of sarcasm as she continued to undress. “I’m not busy.”

“What was that?” he demanded.

“What was what?” she asked quietly calm.

“In there?” he said pointing toward the door. “Back in the meeting?”

“Well, we were all gathered to discuss that utter failure of a mission in Virginia. Also, you apparently received distorted orders and lead it?”

“No, between you and Quartermain?”

“Clay?” she laughed and shook her head. “He’s an old friend.”

“I know about his reputation. Playing both sides of the fence and how often he changes partners. It’s a wonder he hasn’t died of AIDS,” he nearly shouted.

“It’s not really. He hasn’t died of it, because he doesn’t have it because he’s careful.” She tossed her clothes into a hamper and went into her bathroom to shower. “Besides, who he has sex with is none of your business.”

“Have you had sex with him?” he asked following her.

“Why does it matter?” she asked getting a little upset at the way he was behaving toward her.

He clinched his jaw shut and then left.

May sighed heavily and started the shower. This relationship was proving to be more work than what she anticipated and she wasn’t sure if she could keep it up for much longer.

She noticed one of the bottles in the shower catty glowed a little and she picked it up. It opened in two and showed a small message on a screen.

_Bank robbery failed. Thanks for the Tiny Cart. – Cheese_

She closed the bottle and set it back on the shelf with a small smile as relief washed over her. She’d have to tell Clay later. As she showered she was mindful to keep her right eye tightly closed, in case her products got into and corrupted her last sensory lens. With Fury and Phil gone and most of the staff now torn between their loyalties and whatever they were plotting, she needed to treasure what priceless tech she had now more than ever.

There was a message on her phone when she stepped out. It was from Clay, inviting her over for dinner. She slipped on some lace panties and hooked herself into a black satin corset before she pulled on a one-piece suit that zipped in the front. She locked her room and hoped that she wouldn’t run into Grant in the hall. If she did she didn’t know what she’d tell him to get off her back. The truth seemed like it would only start a fight, and she really didn’t want to hold back with him anymore. She was just itching to be rid of him. He was becoming an incalculable risk to her purpose and she didn’t like such things.

May made it to Clay’s rooms unbothered and knocked. He answered and grinned at her. “Glad you got my message,” he said offering her to entre.

“Glad to get it,” she said trying not to grin at him. She noticed Bobbi in the room at the same time she caught movement out of the corner of her eye down the hall. Instead of entering she paused and held out her arms at the doorway. “Bobbi!” she said aloud and made a small motion that said she needed to come to her.

“May,” she said going to give her a hug at the door.

“Good to see you,” she nodded and entered the room then.

“That was odd,” Clay whispered after he shut the door and set a magnetised sensor on it to keep them updated if an unwanted listening device approached their location.

“I’ve got a leech I can’t shake off,” she replied in a tone that said she was withholding her great annoyance. “Ward.”

“Oh,” Bobbi made a face. “That’s rough.”

“Yeah, I should have listened to Natasha. It’s not worth getting into his pants for information. It just further complicates things,” she sat at the table. “Thank you,” she said to her long-time friend. “I owe you for that and for relaying that message.”

“No,” she waved her hands and sat down at the table as well. “It was my pleasure. Besides, I got a peek at the security set up and sent the faults to Tony’s private email via a pedestrian’s phone. They’ll be safer now. It was also nice to see Phil.”

“How is he?”

She sighed. “It took him a while before he noticed I was there. I didn’t exactly make my presence completely unknown, but he just…he’s different,” she said making a face. “But I don’t know how?”

May nodded and steered the conversation away from that topic. “Phil was under the impression Carter had visited him.”

“That’s…kind of upsetting,” she frowned. “I’m taller than her…”

May’s mouth turned up on one side. “He’s never really paid much attention to those things. I’m sure he’ll figure it out. Regardless they’re all appreciative. Did you see Clint?”

Bobbi shook her head. “He’s on another side of the mansion. I checked all of the rooms on that side of the hall. They had one made up, but it was empty. I think they were saving it for one of them. Fury’s was tripped so I didn’t entre his.”

“That sounds about right,” Clay laughed and brought out three plates. “Ladies, dinner is served.”

“Oh Clay this looks delicious!” Bobbi sighed with a large smile. “I’m sure May is just as excited.”

“I am,” she said flatly without a smile and waited for them all to be sitting before she started eating. It was a perfectly grilled, medium rare, steak covered in Chimichurri sauce with grilled green beans, cherry tomatoes, and walnuts. It was one of her favourites that he’d make, but she noted the lack of mushrooms he’d use.

“This is really good,” Bobbi smiled.

“Thank you. It normally has mushrooms, but I remembered you’re allergic,” he confessed.

May drank some of her wine. “So how about that meeting?”

The other two sighed. “Clay told me about it,” Bobbi rolled her eyes.

“Waste of my life,” he sighed.

“Shortest in S.H.I.E.L.D. history,” Bobbi said.

“Did anyone see how Marva Maid hauled Butterfree out of the room?” Clay asked.

“I didn’t like it,” May agreed. “I’m worried she’s in way over her head. If S.H.I.E.L.D. was running the way it has in the past, I wouldn’t doubt her abilities, but there is something going on and I’m worried. I think she’s in a dangerous position and she’s going to drown.”

“She is,” Clay nodded. “CP has got her under his control. She’s like an ant and he’s the douchebag kid with a magnifying glass.”

“Who’s her deputy?” Bobbi asked, not shy showing her open attraction toward the man.

“He’s off limits,” the other two replied.

She pouted. “Boo.”

“Just until we can find a better way of relaying messages,” Clay added. “He’s trying his hardest, but he’s obvious. It might be easier if I just let you be our messenger.” He leaned back in his chair and nodded toward the door. “By the way Sam Wilson is super cute and you should be jealous I’m trying to hit that.”

The other two glanced and saw the device’s green lights had shut off and were blinking red.

“Damn,” Bobbi sighed. “I hate coming to the party late. You always take the cute ones.”

“You can have Ward back if you want,” May said flatly.

Bobbi glared at her. “May, don’t be so crude.”

“I’m not,” she replied and continued eating.

They continued to talk of pointless things, avoiding the subject of work until Clay relaxed into this chair and the lights changed back to green.

“Damn I hate those sweeps,” he whispered.

“What are they using?” Bobbi asked.

“Tiny drones. I had to order several dozen of them. They’re going to be changing the frequency output, so be cautious for a while. Just until I figure it out, then I’ll tune new ones and give them to you all.”

“You’re the best,” she smiled.

They finished their meal on a happier and less-stressful note: music and art. There was a gallery opening near them and Bobbi was a fan of anything in a museum. She begged them to come with her. They promised if they could find the time off they’d do it. That seemed to please her.

When she was finished she rose. “I have to finish my report,” she said. “Thank you for the dinner.”

“Not at all,” Clay said rising to give her a hug farewell. “It’s been too long.”

“Hopefully I won’t be relocated again,” she whispered crossing her fingers. “If something does go down, I want to be near people I can trust.”

“Same,” he agreed and walked her to the door. “If you see Ward out there, distract him for a while, would ya?”

“Uh,” she sighed rolling her eyes.

“I’ll hurry up and break off with Sam so you can have him,” he promised sweetly.

She kissed his cheek. “Deal,” she beamed and left.

Melinda relaxed into her chair. “You could have warned me,” she said.

“Well at least I didn’t tell her there was dessert,” he smiled and went over to her chair to kneel before it. “It’s been a while,” he said gently putting a hand on her knee.

“Yeah, it has,” she agreed.

“Have you really been with Ward,” he made a face.

May sighed and unzipped the front of her suit. She pulled a USB out of her cleavage and gave it to him. “I’m clean,” she promised.

He stood and pulled one out of his inner suit pocket and handed it to her. He got them tablets and they both plugged them in and waited as their recent medical information popped up.

“Ten,” she nodded surprised. “India was a lot more interesting than what you told me.”

“Only five of those are true, the others were fabricated when I was off com,” he replied. “I had to make it seem that I’d gone in deep enough to gain their boss’s trust.”

“Oh, good, five,” she sighed sarcastically.

“Hey you’re sleeping with Ward,” he shot back at her with an unhappy look.

She glared flatly at him and then disconnected the device. She set it down on the table and took off her shoes. “Help me out of this?” she asked standing.

He smiled setting his tablet down before he carefully and slowly unzipped her suit front. “One-piece, huh? Haven’t seen you in one of these in ages,” he pushed it off her shoulders and whistled slowly as he took in the black satin corset and tight fitted lace panties under it.

“We met when I was wearing a one-piece,” she reminded and wrapped her now freed arms around his shoulders.

“I’ll never forget,” he beamed down at her before kissing her. “Still gorgeous.”

“Shut up,” she ordered.

“Yes ma’am,” he saluted with an eager smile and kissed her again. He knew he was one of the luckiest men in the world, for he was one of the incredibly few who were graced with the gift of seeing one of her true genuine smiles. “Happy Anniversary, baby,” he whispered against her lips.

“I told you to shut up,” she hissed holding his chin firmly

“Are you going to punish me?”

“If you’re asking for it,” she smiled at him and released her hold. “I think someone mentioned dessert?” she reminded. His face lit up with excitement, but before he could say anything she put a finger to his lips. “Sh,” she reminded, knowing how much that riled him up. “You can bring it to me in bed, I’ll meet you there.” She slipped out of the rest of her suit and walked slowly away.

Clay bit his lip and tried staying quiet as a shout of joy bubbled inside of him. Damn was the luckiest man in the world or what!?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A few notes:  
> *I'm doing job interviews and auditions this up coming week, so the next chapter might be late. I was trying to shoot for a two week chapter thing, but I can't pass up these auditions. I've been waiting to hear from these places for a while so I've got to give them my all until things settle.
> 
> *I also neglected to mention in the last chapter that Bengals are illegal to own in New York (stupid right? Right!). I guess because someone had a tiger in their place the whole of the state was like "No hybrid cats at all!". I know at one point it was only F1-F4 gens where banned and you could get a special permit outside of the city, but still in the state, but that's not a thing any more. Well I think they're super adorable and wonderful so I'm ignoring that dumb law. They are also illegal in Georgia, Iowa, Hawaii, Indiana, Massachusetts, Delaware, Connecticut, Alaska, and several major cities (Like Seattle, and Denver). You apparently can't own one in California unless they're declawed! D: How grossly cruel! Oh well, at least I know where I can't live when I can finally afford my own beautiful Bengal baby.  
> Reference picture for Jareth: [Silver Rosetted Bengal Kitten](http://www.bengalspot.com/males/Tundra/bcanadaDiana2.jpg). He's just a little darker grey than this little dude and an inch or two bigger.
> 
> *And I know some people are like: "Sphynx cats!? Aren't they the ugly wrinkly kind?" Yes they are wrinkly, but some of them are super beautiful (to me any ways). I mean there are some cats that I don't find attractive, but that goes for every breed, just like all animals. It's all about aesthetics. So here are the reference pictures for Ást: [Sphynx1](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/39/5c/a1/395ca1d562d0a03d5fca94fd17c035e9.jpg) and [Sphynx2](https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/fb/b0/36/fbb036aa2dc3fe1417cdecc9de900931.jpg). You can see how they have some thicker fur on their tales and some other places. I just changed the eye colour. I know heterochromia generally occurs in white cats and it's one blue and one gold or brown eye, and often the side that's blue has little to no vision and is hard of hearing in that ear, but my friend had a widdle black, tan, and white kitten once with a deep sapphire blue and a brilliant green eye and I was just mesmerised by them! Nature and genetics man! That's crazy cool!


	51. Chapter 51

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All mistakes are my own. If something doesn't sound/read right or well, just let me know and I'll fix it. I don't own the stuff that belongs to Marvel, I'm just borrowing it to explore character growth ideas.
> 
> Please enjoy!

\----------------------51----------------------

Loki was hurrying down the hall as silently as he could. It was a long dark dank corridor; it’s walls where covered in patches of mildew and mould, and the air was overly familiar and sulphuric. He heard noise ahead and pressed himself against the wall, moving cautiously down the passage way until he could slip into a nook. He waited in the shadows, not daring to even breathe; his heart hammering heavily in his chest as the robed figures moved passed him. He waited a few more seconds before carefully peeking out, checking both ways, and began again.

He knew Clint was at the other end. He had to save him. He couldn’t image what horrors he had befallen and it make his stomach tighten with fear. At the end of the hall he checked both ways and made a right. The walls were dripping water here, and he had to slow his pace to keep his feet from splashing the ground. He heard the archer scream and felt sick to his stomach. _I’m coming_. He told him, hoping he could hear him. _I’m coming Clint just hang on…_

He leapt over the last puddle and found the thick cell door. He kicked it opened and swung the crude weapon he’d fashioned together from his chains and a twisted chunk of thick torn metal. It zipped around and slashed at the creatures in the room as he rolled and dodged their attacks. He yanked the chain back to him and ducked, letting the metal catch and embed into the chest of the guard behind him, who had come to their aid upon the sounds of their cries. One by one their enemies crumpled to the floor like rag dolls. When none where left moving, Loki hurried to the figure in the centre of the room.

He was strung up with a line of rusty spiked wire. Bruises and cuts adorned his person and the sight of so many darkened and deep gashes made the god cringe. If Loki turned his head one way, there was a gaping hole in his chest; if he turned it the other, Clint’s torso was missing flesh and burned horridly in certain spots. He couldn’t get the image to focus and it scared him.

“Loki…” he breathed and gazed at him through swollen eyes. Blood dribbled out of the corner as his busted lip split opened.

_I’m here…_ he said pressing their foreheads together gently. He felt Clint moan and whimper so he let him go and searched for a way to get him down. He found the lever and switched it on. The mechanisms began turning and slowly Clint was lowered to the ground. Loki hurried over to catch and help hold him up, very careful of his wounds.

Clint cried out and hissed as he was touched, trying his hardest to not be too loud. “I’m good,” he panted and tried standing on his own. He wobbled and then found a place to balance himself. Loki hurried to free his wrists. Clint hissed and then bent down carefully as he rubbed them. He snatched up one of the creature’s knives and brought it up to Loki’s face. “Do you trust me?”

Loki nodded and kept still as Clint slowly cut the thick thread that held his mouth shut. Once freed the god carefully rotated his sore jaw and picked the stray pieces out. Clint helped him and then they finally kissed.

“It’s good to do that,” Loki said in a raspy voice and hoped the archer wasn’t too put off by his foul breath.

“How did you get out?” he said and then doubled over biting back pain.

“Natasha.” He cleared his unused throat and helped hold him. “She’s here. Come along, we must hurry. She’s waiting.”

“Loki,” Clint said and stopped him from hurrying off. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Loki took a moment before looking at him. “I was worried,” he shrugged. “I wasn’t even fully certain I was…” he exhaled letting the word hang unsaid between them. This all felt like a nightmare. How could he even be if nothing felt real? He wanted to wake up and find Clint next to him in bed. He wanted to watch the morning sun rise and light up his skin, wake him up with sweet gentle kisses, and then make passionate love until they had to get up. He wanted to find the kittens by his feet and hear the latest gossip from Darcy. He wanted to tease his brother at the breakfast table and shop with Natasha. He wanted to knit things for his children and in the late hours, after a long hot bath, he wanted to slip into something sensual and share a night of wild romance with him. He didn’t want to feel sick, and weak, and terrified for their futures.

He put a hand over his stomach and tried not to throw up. Clint pressed their foreheads together. “I love you,” he whispered, and shared with him his same fears and desires. “Come on, let’s get out of here.”

Loki smiled. He was about to kiss him when he felt something. Something dark, deep, and anciently evil. It crept up him and snuggled into his bones. _Kill him_. It said in the sweetest voice. _Kill him._

Clint was still gazing at him with such a beautiful joyous expression. Loki leaned into him and put his arms around him. Clint reciprocated, glancing down between them and then back up; his face radiating pride and desire.

“I thought you said we couldn’t keep Natasha waiting?” he whispered.

“I did,” Loki whispered back with a winning smile and leaned forward to kiss him. Just before their lips touched he put his hands upon Clint’s back, conjured a knife, and stabbed him.

Clint’s eyes became wide and he gasped, completely shocked at the feel of a jagged blade being stuck into his back. Loki continued to smile at him, watching as Clint’s face went through an array of emotions.

The archer pulled back a bit to get a better look at him. “Loki?” he whispered confused and coughed. Blood dribbled out of his mouth as a more steady pace.

Loki gave him a simple kiss before letting him go, watching as the archer stumbled back against the wall, helpless and utterly stunned. Loki calmly walked up to him and stabbed him again, this time in the shoulder. He began chuckled as he watched him slid down to the floor; his blood painting the rough surfaces. It really brightened up the area. Loki began to laugh harder and louder.

“Loki…” Clint gasped as tears fell down his face, his hand reaching for him, his face searching, trying to understand.

_Yes…_ the voice hissed and Loki felt the evil danced within his soul in joyful ritual. He felt alive.

\-------------------------------------------------

Loki jerked awake so violently he nearly fell out of bed. He panted and looked around, hurrying to try and turn the side light on as fast as his trembling hands could. He gazed down at them once it was on. He was shaking terribly all over and stricken to his core in shock and disgust…but his hands weren’t covered in blood. That was good thing, right?

He looked down at himself. He wasn’t wearing those strange raggedly dark clothes. He then touched his mouth. No threads or markings which indicated his mouth ever being sewn shut. He swallowed and fumbled for the bottle on his nightstand.

Clint moved next to him. “Loki?” he asked groggily.

“I-I’m fine,” he whispered and struggled with the top. “I’m fine,” he said, his voice bordering on distraught sobs suddenly as the ending of the dream started to replay in his mind. His eyes were already starting to fill with tears as he frantically tried opening the bottle. A fresh wave of panic and horror washed over him and his hands were stained with blood again.

Clint sat up, Jareth rolling off of him, and he scooted up to him. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” he whispered and then became so frustrated with the bottle he stood and threw it toward the bathroom with a vicious growl. It broke one of the doors with a loud _crash_ , followed by the whispering fall of the shattering rain of glass. He collapsed onto the floor panting, staring at his hands as they dripped with blood. He started rubbing at them, trying to get it to come off. He rubbed them on the floor and found it only spread the mess.

“Jarvis get Bruce and Natasha,” Clint said as he whipped his covers off and hurried to hold Loki. “Sh, it’s okay.”

“I-I c-can’t breathe,” he gasped. His whole body was violently shaking and he struggled to inhale air with laboured short gulps. He was nearly tearing up the carpet in desperation to have his hands rid of Clint’s blood.

Natasha arrived first. “I’m here,” she said and turned on the overhead light before rushing to them. “Hey,” she smiled as she knelt before Loki. “Here,” she said pulling the sheet from their bed and wrapped it around the god as Clint went to pull some shorts on. “Are you cold?”

Loki shook his head, but his teeth were chattering as though he were. In truth, he felt as though he were on fire. The sheets felt so cold. They felt good. So did her hands when she rested them on his cheeks to get a look at his face.

“Loki,” she said and soothed some loose strands of hair from his face. “Loki, honey you have to talk to us.”

“I killed him,” Loki whispered finally and dread filled him. He looked up at her from his hands. “I killed him.”

Bruce entered with his bathrobe falling over one shoulder to reveal his grey t-shirt and navy pyjama pants. “I’m here,” he said hurrying over.

“Killed who?” she asked confused.

“Clint,” Loki stammered and began sobbing. “I killed him. What have I done?” He covered his eyes with his trembling hands.

“I’m right here,” the archer said returning to his side.

Natasha held her hand up for him to wait and then turned back to Loki. “What do you mean you killed him?”

“We were being held prisoner,” he began slowly. “I had broken free and went to get him. They beat and tortured him so badly,” he sobbed and leaned forward putting his head in her lap as he sobbed harder. “He was so broken and bruised. I helped him down and he cut my mouth open,” he raised his head and quickly explained, patting his lips in jerky frightened motions, “It was sewn! It-it had been s-sewn with magic! He-he cut the th-threads. I told him we had to g-go meet you. You were going to-to save us, and then as I went to k-k-kiss himmmm,” he gave a long sob and lowered his head back to her lap. “I stabbed him,” he whispered the last part and then lost it. He grabbed fistfuls of his hair and pulled on them a bit. “I let him bleed out before me! I just l-let him lay there and-and laughed at it-t all…” he choked out as he sobbed.

Natasha could feel his agony from the intensity of his reaction. Her guts ached much in the same manner she suspected Loki’s did, and her chest felt heavy and hollow. She wanted to puke, but she swallowed it down and set her hands on him. “Sh, it’s okay,” she said taking the tie out of his hair and soothingly played with it, getting him to let go of it so he’d stop hurting himself. “It’s okay. It was just a dream.”

“I killed him!” he shouted in a crazed sorrowful manner.

“Come here, look,” she said getting him to sit up. “Shhh just take a few deep breaths,” she began.

“I can’t – I can’t live with myself,” he gasped and shut his eyes tightly.

“Shhh, no, look,” she said pointing to Clint. Loki didn’t at first. Natasha put her hand on his cheek again and then gently turned it. “Open your eyes Loki.” He did and stared at the archer. “See?” she said watching the god and put her hand to Clint’s face to show him that she could see and touch him. “He’s safe. He’s real. It was just a dream. Clint’s perfectly fine.”

Loki reached out a shaking hand to touch Clint’s face too. Clint waited; he didn’t want to scare him off by making any hasty movements. He really just wanted to hold him tight and kiss his pain away, but that’s not what Loki needed, so he waited. Loki hesitantly touched his cheek and then pulled away afraid. It took a few more moments before he touched his cheek again, this time with more certainty, and then pulled him close into a desperate and gratefully relieved hug.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, and fresh tears sprang to his eyes.

“It’s okay,” Barton promised and held his shivering form.

“I’m sorry,” he kept saying under his breath and held him so tight Clint was afraid he would break.

“It’s okay, Loki,” he said and managed to pull back enough to look at him. He brought a hand up and brushed his tears away before kissing the side of his mouth. The god tensed, his face wincing and his arms pulling away from Clint’s back as the memory flashed before his eyes again. “I’m right here and I’m fine. You didn’t hurt me.”

Loki looked at Clint, gently touching his face and then pressed kisses all over it, still apologising.

“I’m ready,” Bruce said softly as he squirted the air out of the syringe full of medicine.

Natasha nodded and gently put a hand to Loki’s shoulder. The god looked at her. “I know you don’t like doing this, but that feeling you feel,” she said touching her chest and then touching his. “That sickening scary feeling? Is it here?”

He nodded and gestured the same way to her chest as she was to his.

“If you let us, we can make it go away,”

He shied back from her. “It hurts,” he said in a voice that sounded more like a terrified child’s than a grown male of over forty-two thousand. It wasn’t his normal manner and it worried Natasha.

“I know, but only for a second,” she said sympathetically. “Bruce will make it real quick.”

Loki looked at her and then at Bruce and then at Clint. “It hurts…” he whimpered.

Clint kissed his forehead and brushed his fresh tears away. “Only for a second,” he reminded.

Loki thought about it for a moment before swallowing and putting on the bravest face he had and nodded. Natasha smiled at him and sat behind him. She rubbed her hands on his back as Bruce knelt before him and swabbed a spot on his arm. Loki tensed up and Clint pulled his face to his chest and shielded his eyes with his hand. Natasha held onto his arm with one hand and they braced themselves.

Loki didn’t move at first. He remained perfectly still, not even breathing for the first few seconds. When he did react, it was a slow building sob that started from the base of his guts all the way up to the top of his throat. It was heart breaking and suddenly Bruce was painfully reminded of why he actually hated working in India. All of those sick children; all of their pain and suffering with no real end, it had been so hard to witness it all. They never understood it all, yet they braved shots and pills that made them sick for a while and hurt just to show that they could be an adult too. They could be brave and not disappoint their elders. So many kids, so many tears, so much pain…

“It’s done,” he said, his voice cracking. He cleared his throat and pressed a bit of gauze to the spot for a moment. “It’s done,” he said again.

“See?” Natasha said and kissed Loki’s cheek. “How are you feeling now?”

Loki let out a small distressed moan.

“Do you want something to drink?”

Loki weakly nodded.

“Okay,” she said and got up. “I’ll be right back.”

“Do you want to get back into bed?” Clint asked Loki. The god weakly nodded again.

“I’ll help,” Bruce said and together they set him back. Clint hurried to cover him properly and felt his forehead. “I’m going to get him a cold compress,” he said going to the bathroom. He flipped on the light and very carefully avoided the shards as he hurried about.

Bruce put a hand to Loki’s forehead and checked his pulse. “Can you tell me what day it is?”

“Middle of Midgard…Autumn…” he breathed.

Bruce nodded. “And do you know where you are?”

“Middle of Midgard…Autumn…” he repeated growing sleepy.

Bruce nodded again.

Natasha returned and climbed into bed next to Loki. “Here honey,” she said kindly and helped him drink it. “Easy,” she advised. He drained it in a few large eager gulps and then coughed as she took the empty glass away.

“Here,” Clint said carefully hopping over the glass and set a cold cloth to Loki’s forehead. “Better?” he asked.

Loki moaned and closed his eyes. Content seeped into him and already the dream seemed just that…a fading dream…a memory he wouldn’t be able to recall in a few minutes.

“I thought so,” he smiled and pressed his lips to Loki’s cheek. “Look the kitties have come to snuggle with you,” he said as he petted Jareth, who was curled next to Loki.

“Ást?” he asked weakly.

“Ást is here,” he said pointing toward Loki’s feet.

“Th…” he tried weakly.

“Sh, we know,” Natasha said and smoothed his hair back. “You get some rest, that’s what matters.”

Loki closed his eyes.

“What happened?” Bruce whispered to Clint as they stepped away from the bed. “I heard a noise before Jarvis told me to hurry over.”

“He woke up in a panic. He couldn’t open the bottle so he threw it,” Clint said. “The bathroom door is broken,” he warned Natasha.

“I’ll call Tony tomorrow and say the cats were playing with a toy and it bounced and hit it,” she nodded.

“Thanks,”

“No problem,” she said.

“I’ll bring a broom and dust pan,” Bruce said heading for the door.

“Thanks, both of you,”

“It’s nothing,” Bruce reassured.

Clint sighed heavily and rubbed at his face frustrated.

Natasha kept gently tracing her fingers up and down the side of Loki’s face as they waited in silence.

Clint decided he was going to start gathering the larger pieces as he waited. He took care not to cut himself, using a dry wash cloth to help get the pieces off the floor and into a pile on the bathroom counter. Bruce returned and together they swept and picked up the broken wood and glass and put it into a large paper grocery bag. Bruce even brought a hand vacuum and made sure the carpet near the door didn’t have anything. They did a sweep of the bathroom again and decided it was all cleared. Jarvis confirmed it with a quick scan.

Clint opened the cap of the medicine bottle and then flipped it, turning it from child-proofed to easy spin off. “There,” he sighed. “I should have done that when we first got it.”

“He needs to take them regularly,” Bruce said quietly. “That’s four in less than three full days.”

“I know,” Barton sighed. “They’re getting worse, but I know that this isn’t even as bad as it can and will be…we’ve got to find something to get rid of this thing.”

“I can talk to Thor tomorrow. I’ll take your patrol spot, so he won’t be near his friends and can take some time to adjust if the information upsets him.”

Clint nodded. “Okay.”

“Loki, honey?” Natasha whispered to him.

He faintly hummed, too relaxed and content to move.

“Are you feeling better?”

He faintly hummed again, hoping the noise conveyed how much better he was.

“Okay,” she kissed his cheek. She pulled the washcloth away to brush his hair back from his forehead before turning it over and set it back.

Loki hummed and knitted his brow a little before relaxing again.

Banner rubbed his face and yawned. “Do you need anything more?”

“No, I think we’re good for now. Thank you again,”

“No problem,” he said and patted Clint’s arm in comforting support. “Night. Night kitties. Night Loki. Night Natasha.”

“Good night. Would you mind popping in and telling Steve I’m okay and that I’ll return in a while?”

“Yeah, no problem,” he yawned again and then left.

“You don’t mind do you?” Natasha asked looking at Clint. “I just want to make sure he’s okay.”

“Nah you’re fine,” he said and flipped the bathroom light off. He set the pills on Loki’s nightstand and then went around, turned off the main light and climbed into bed. He snuggled up near Natasha and draped his arm around her, reaching to take Loki’s hand and held it.

“He’s going to be okay,” she said to Clint.

“I know,”

“It’s just going to take time,”

He sighed. “I know.”

\-------------------------------------------------

May got out of the shower and found a warmed towel with a single paper rose on top. She smiled and lifted it find it covered in text. Not just any text either, her native tongue. One of her favourite poems: _God!_ , a Yuefu folk poem from the Han Dynasty. She sniffed it carefully and found it smelled like apple blossoms. She fondly held it as she dried and dressed herself before entering the next room. The bed was a mess, but she knew he’d keep it like that for a while. He always complained how he missed the smell of her on his sheets. She took her panties and tucked them under his pillow. It’d be a nice surprise for him tonight.

She went into the dining room and found breakfast waiting for her. “Clay,” she sighed.

“I couldn’t help it,” he pouted and gave her a cup of her favourite tea. “It’s been so long. We haven’t been able to celebrate properly in ages.”

She sighed again, but gave him a small smile to show how much she appreciated it. She sat and began eating. He sat across from her and watched her eat. He loved doing that. Melinda had hated it when they first started dating. By the time they were married she’d grown comfortable with it. It made him happy to watch her enjoy her meal and she wasn’t going to deny him such a simple pleasure.

“I’m glad you stayed,” he said. “It was nice. Y’know, acting like we’re in a real relationship as opposed to the usual short secret rendezvous in dirty motels?”

“You enjoy rendezvous just as much,” she smiled knowingly.

“Yeah, but I miss you,” he confessed and took her free hand. “I know what we do isn’t easy.”

She sighed heavily knowing where this was going. It always went like this: those opening words and then he’d spring the idea of them coming out to their co-workers or retiring in favour of living their lives properly together. It used to involve raising a family, but once May found she couldn’t conceive and keep a child safely to full-term that topic was struck from their lives and never spoken of again. Even adoption became unbearable between them and nearly drove them to divorce. Did she wish that they could be open to the world about them being together? Yes. Would it ever happen? One day. Did she think it was a good idea? Not at that moment. Things in S.H.I.E.L.D. were too unpredictable. She also didn’t want to fight with him, not after such a wonderful night and a great start to her morning.

“Clay,” she started very gently in hopes to steer them easily from such a dangerous conversation.

“No, please let me finish. This isn’t going in that direction,” he promised. “You said the last time was the last time and I promised so this is different.” He pressed her hand to his mouth. “I’m proud of you,” he said. “I always have been and I always will.”

She frowned at him confused; this wasn’t what she had expected at all. “Why are you saying this?”

His face crumpled. He could never lie to her. “I can’t…I can’t tell you.”

“We can tell each other everything.”

“I know, but…not this…” he apologised. “Please don’t be mad,” he begged and slipped to his knees before her. He buried his face in her lap for comfort.

She knew something bad was about to happen. She swallowed and soothed her hands through his hair and along his neck and top of his back. “You don’t have to tell me. I trust you,” she reminded, keeping strong for them both. “Remember? For life?” she said and tapped the inside of her ring finger. There was a tiny tattooed dot. It looked like a mole if anything, but it wasn’t; it was their sneaky secret version of a wedding band, because anything else would be too risky for them.

“I love you so much,” he whispered looking up at her with a face that said he was suffering some sort of guilty pain. She bent and placed a forgiving comforting kiss to his forehead before placing one on his lips.

“Will you promise to be safe?”

“Always,”

“Will you promise to try and come back to me?”

He swallowed and nodded. It made her stomach tighten in a manner she hadn’t felt in a very long time. “Yeah,” he forced out not meeting her gaze.

“If you can’t…it’s okay,” she reassured. “I’ll never hold it against you.”

“Oh Meli,” he sighed and dropped his head again. “I’m sorry…” he said into her thighs and then lifted his head and pushed his hair back from off his forehead. “I wasn’t going to say anything. I didn’t want to ruin breakfast, but…” he sighed heavily again and swallowed nervously once more.

“You haven’t ruined breakfast,” she promised holding his face gently in her hands. He turned his head and kissed her wrists, one after the other. He got back up into his chair after a few moments. She gave him a supportive and comforting smile and kept eating. She wasn’t really hungry after her first plate, but she didn’t want to leave. Not yet. She managed almost a whole other one and then sat in his lap and they held one another for a bit.

They didn’t say anything as they breathed together; his head resting on her shoulder and hers on his head. Their hands moved soothingly and lovingly along an arm or through hair; nothing sexual, just comforting supportive reassuring touches. After years of being together they realised that sometimes their best and most romantic moments were ones where they didn’t say anything; they just stayed close to one another, enjoying their silent company.

“I have to go,” she whispered apologetically after a while. She felt his arms tighten around her for a moment before relaxing. She kissed his forehead gently and he let her go. “I’ll come visit you before I leave?”

“I’m leaving soon,” he said rubbing his face. “I won’t be in contact or come back for a while.”

She nodded and leaned down to kiss him then. He rose to meet her. When they parted she brushed her hand down his cheek as she looked into his eyes. “I told you I’d make a romantic out of you yet,” she smiled.

He smiled at her as well and kissed her once more before they let go. She picked up her rose and carefully tucked it into a briefcase full of paperwork he’d set out for her. They didn’t look at one another as she left.

Melinda took a moment outside of his door. As it shut behind her, she felt as though she’d just lost him forever. She glanced down at her finger and rubbed at the little mark before collecting herself and going to her room.

She had expected to be alone, but unfortunately she wasn’t. Ward was there. She sighed heavily and set the briefcase down on her desk. “Yes?” she said.

He looked up from the chair he was sitting in. “Where have you been?”

“Not that that’s any of your business,” she began, not at all in any sort of mood to be dealing with him, and went to her closet to get a new set of clothes. “I was talking with Bobbi and Clay.”

“About?”

“What do you talk about with your friends?” she asked over her shoulder uncaringly.

“She left though,” he pointed out.

“Yes, because she didn’t have clearance for the work Clay and I had to finish.”

“Work sounded pretty physical,”

She froze and then gave him a hard look. “Excuse me?”

“I’m not positive, but I’m fairly certain the noises coming from that side of the compound were you two.”

“Oh please!” she sighed exhausted by him. How had Natasha dealt with him for so long? And Bobbi for that matter! “Clay?” she asked feigning mild disgust.

“I don’t know, you tell me,” he said standing. “Did you both –”

“No,” she responded before he could even ask. “Clay and I have been friends for many years, but not in that manner.” She went toward her bathroom. He stood in her way.

“Where are you going?” he asked.

She didn’t like his tone. “To shower. I was up all night working and I’m tired. Move,” she said.

“You smell like you already had one,” he pointed out.

She stared at him flatly. “Move,” she said again.

“And if I don’t?”

“You’ll be registering with ‘ _Miss_ ’ on all of your paperwork forms from now on,”

“Let me join you,”

The fact that it was overtly sugar coated and not even a nicely put question bothered her. “No.”

He snorted at her. “I thought we had something.”

“We did, until you started acting like a spoiled child.”

“I don’t like sharing,” he added darkly and grabbed her arm.

“And I don’t enjoy being told what to do,” she jerked her arm away and took a step aside as she pointed to her door. “Get out,” she said again, still firm and strong; never backing down to him.

“This isn’t over,” he warned.

“Great. Expect a meeting with Alisande before we get back on the bus,” she promised. He stormed out. She shut the door and locked it, rewriting the security codes and did a sweep for bugs. She looked around the room and made sure all of her important papers and secretly stashed files and drives hadn’t been touched. Thankfully the kid was too stupid to look for those things.

She felt disgusting after being touched by him, so she quickly sponged off in her sink. His grip had left a small bruise on her. She wasn’t happy about it, but it would fade in a day or two. She dressed and went to her desk. She pulled out the rose and held it to her nose again before hurrying to store it in a large wooden puzzle box. Inside were love-letters, postcards, dried flowers, and Clay’s real wedding ring. They had exchanged them at the actual ceremony and then given each other theirs to hang on to. She let her finger run over the simple yellow band for a moment before closing the box. She packed it in with her things to take on the plane. Something told her she’d need it soon, and that something also made her physically ill.

\-------------------------------------------------

“Robby!” Jennifer said brightly as she opened the door and threw her arms around him.

“Hey Jen,” he smiled embracing her.

“I’ve been so worried!” she said. “You haven’t answered my texts or calls and I’ve been holed up in this old creaky, albeit clean and nicely decorated, hotel room. I’m going crazy!” she hissed the last part and pulled at her hair. “I’ve got cabin fever and no Muppets to help me through it.”

He laughed and shut the door as he followed her in. “Well things are starting to settle down at the mansion. Maybe later we can take a walk and get pizza.”

“Oh great,” she sighed and gestured to a stack of boxes near the tiny trashcan. “More _pizza_!”

“Then we’ll do Chinese,” laughed Bruce as he sat on her bed. “Thank you for taking time to come here.”

“Yeah, no problem,” she said going to look out the window. “You know I love visiting you. The laughs, the blood tests, the copious amounts of pizza, and staring at the ceiling for hours in fear that S.H.I.E.L.D. is going to break down the door and drag me away. Did you know there are fifty-seven thousand and five-eighthsdots in this carpet pattern? Doesn’t seem there would be that many, or so few, but I’ve counted and measured them.”

“Jen,” he sighed.

She turned to him and then went over to flop on her stomach on the bed. “I know, I know,” she sighed heavily into the sheets. “You’re working things out.”

“I am,” he said lying down so their heads were close. He turned his face toward hers and she tucked her hands under her chin. “You cut your hair,” he said touching it.

“Yeah took you a week to notice,” she laughed.

“Sorry,” he said.

“It’s fine, I know you’ve been busy. So tell me about what’s up,”

Bruce sighed and looked up at the ceiling. “So we started with six right?”

“Yeah,”

“Just the six of us, and then Loki came into play. Seven, great, perfect, things were rocky but we were making it work. Then Pepper came in, and that’s cool, just a minor hiccup and then the ball started rolling again. _Then_ Fury and Phil came on the scene. We moved into the mansion, not as much space or privacy as the other building, but we’re closer and things are going well. Tony and Pepper leave, we’re back to eight. Now Thor brings his…” he shrugged not even certain what to call her, “lady person-friend and her friends here at the same time Clint and Loki are playing house and get two kittens!”

She gasped excitedly. “They got kittens?”

“Yeah and they’re really cute, so I can’t even be mad or anything, but it was a big step for them and just…their whole relationship is odd. Some days it’s very apparent they’re still in this new relationship and some days it’s like they’ve known each other for centuries.”

“Well you did say that they’re soul-mates,”

“Yeah but,” he shrugged and exhaled. “I don’t know.”

“Maybe the cool thing about soul-mates is, they never really have to spend too much time working from point ‘A’, they can just pick up where they sort of left off and work out the kinks from their last life when they have time or run into them.” Jennifer shrugged, “Sounds right to me.”

“That’s because you came up with that idea,”

“And my ideas are always good,” she smiled.

“Always?” he challenged.

“We’re not getting into that spring break argument again,” she warned darkly.

“I was thinking about Martin,”

“Uh!” she huffed and rolled over dramatically upset. “Don’t talk to me about that dickwad!”

Bruce softly chuckled and they drifted into comfortable silence for several minutes.

“Hey Robert?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you think I’ll ever meet my soul-mate?”

“Yeah,” he said.

“I want to be out in a bookstore and bump into some rich hunky guy with a snarky personality. We’ll adopt two cute kittens, have great sex, and live happily ever after. That’s not too much to ask for, right?”

Bruce laughed. “No, I don’t think it is.”

She exhaled slowly and then gently brushed her bottom teeth on her top ones as she thought about it. “He’d be tall.”

“Yeah?”

“And maybe blondeish,”

“Sounds nice,”

“With blue eyes; and nice arms that you just look at and _know_ deep down in your heart, ‘damn he gives good hugs and cuddles well’; and a fine ass,”

Bruce frowned and then looked up at her. “Are you describing Captain America on purpose or on accident?”

She was silent for a moment. “Well if the boot fits,” was all she muttered.

Bruce laughed and sat up. “Natasha’s a fierce competitor.”

“Sh, once we touch our minds will be linked,” she said putting a finger to her lips.

“That seems to be how it works…” he looked at her, “Good luck getting close enough to touch him.”

“Thanks,” she smiled. Jennifer rolled over onto her stomach again and sighed. “So Thor’s gal thing and co are at the mansion; wasn’t one of them mind-enslaved by Loki?”

“Yes,” he rubbed his face. “He’s bitter and angry too. I mean,” he shrugged, “I wouldn’t blame him, but Loki isn’t a hundred percent at fault, just…more like…” he shrugged again, this time in a much grander gesture, “twenty-five to fifty.”

“That’s a big difference,”

“I know, I’m working on figuring it out,” he sighed.

“With the magic stick thing Tony left you?”

“Yeah and the flash drive,”

“Cracked it yet?”

“No,” he shook his head. “It’s location sensitive. I have to find the original point and work from there. Problem is Fury isn’t talking.”

“Well,” she said with a small sigh. “I think,” she began and pushed herself up from the bed. “That we both need a break, and some ice cream, and maybe pizza.”

“I thought you were tired of pizza?” he asked as she came to stand in front of him.

“I’m tired of next-door’s pizza. Let’s go to Koronet’s!” she said excitedly and pulled him up.

“Koronet’s!” he cried exasperated. “That’s all the way up near Columbia University! It’s on Broadway!”

“Yeah,” she smiled and hurried to get her coat and scarf.

“Jen, you know I don’t do the Subway or taxis,”

“I know,” she nodded still giddy with joy.

“Jen, that’s like an hour or more walk,”

She hummed and grabbed her keys and purse. “I guess we better hurry. I’m hungry,” she rubbed her belly and pushed him toward the door, nearly skipping with glee.

He sighed heavily, yet smiled knowing he couldn’t tell her ‘no’. Besides, he never really took time for himself. One little hour-long walk up to get pizza was nothing.

\-------------------------------------------------

Loki’s stomach rumbled loudly. He groaned and curled up on his side, the feel of a small warm body snuggled into his stomach helped ease the ache in his lower belly and in his bones.

“Baby?” Clint’s voice called softly. There was a warm hand on his shoulder that gently shook him.

He moaned and opened his eyes slowly.

“Do you want some food?” he asked and brushed his knuckles down Loki’s cheek.

He shrugged. He felt completely empty. His stomach rumbled again. He didn’t honestly feel hungry, but he knew he should eat.

“I’ll get you something easy to eat,” he promised and pressed a kiss to his forehead.

Loki could tell it was half in love and half to check his temperature. He felt too cold now. He brushed some of his hair from his face and found sweat upon his brow. He watched as Clint dressed.

“Where is Natasha?” he asked quietly.

“She left not long after you fell asleep. She came in a little bit ago to check on you, but you were dead asleep so we left you alone. Do you want me to get her?”

Loki slowly shook his head ‘no’.

“Are you going to be alright alone?”

Loki carefully nodded.

“Okay,” he said and kissed his forehead again and smiled down at him before leaving the room.

Ást stretched and shook himself before turning around and snuggling up near Loki’s chest again. Jareth struggled to climb back up on the bed. Loki watched him. It took him a little bit, but he managed. He stretched and began grooming himself.

Loki held his hand out. Jareth paused and stared at it for a moment before he leaned toward it to sniff. Loki wiggled his fingers. Jareth put his paw excitedly on them. He looked between Loki’s fingers and his face several times before he stared at his hand again. He lifted his paw. Loki smirked and wiggled his fingers again. Jareth became super excited and started batting at them.

They indulged in that game until Clint returned. Jareth hurried to the edge of the bed as he heard the door open. He wiggled his butt, taking a moment to try and gauge the distance from mattress to floor, and then blindly leapt; his little legs spreading out as he quickly dropped.

Thankfully, Clint had observed the little doofus enough to plant pillows right along the edge of the bed, so his landing was softer than the first three jumps had been.

Clint stared at him for a moment.

Jareth looked at him and mewed in welcome.

Clint shook his head and muttered, “Silly.” He crossed the room with the tray and set it near Loki. “I’ve got oatmeal with peaches and cottage cheese. I also have the big mug filled with green tea and a little drop of honey.”

“Thank you,” Loki said shifting to sit up. Ást stretched and wiggled closer to him. “Would you mind getting me a sweater? I’m terribly chilled,” he said rubbed his arms, realising how odd that must sound. A Frost Giant being terribly chilled…

“Yeah, do you also want pants?”

“No, my legs are fine, just my chest and arms,” he said and shivered. Clint quickly snagged a warm dark grey sweater and helped the god into it. “Thank you,” he said as he buttoned the front up and Clint set the tray over his lap.

“No problem. Anything for you, my love,” he said and kissed his forehead.

Loki knew he was being affectionate and checking his temperature again. He allowed it. It warmed him to know that Clint cared for his well-being.

Clint sat near his legs. “Do you remember this morning?” he asked carefully.

Loki nodded as he stirred the maple oatmeal. “Not all of it, but a little…I remember being terrified. I remember Natasha and you being there, and then Bruce. I remember being injected, I remember feeling weightless, and then I was here in bed.” Loki took a small bite of the oatmeal. It wasn’t too hot, but the flavour warmed him. “I guess this way of drugging me counts as helping me ‘get better’?” he asked quietly, not looking at him.

Clint exhaled carefully and rubbed the back of his neck. “I was being overdramatic when I said that about Bobbi, but yes…” he said. “I promised I wouldn’t do it unless you were sick and…”

“The darkness is a sickness…” he nodded and ate another bite. “I understand,” he said after a moment.

“Banner said you should probably take them regularly now.”

Loki glanced at the bottle next to him and then back to his food. “I’m sorry,” he whispered.

“It’s fine,” Clint reassured. “I told you I’d help you get through this, no matter what. So we’re taking it one day at a time,” he smiled at him and gently massaged his leg. “Today, we overcame the night, we’re eating breakfast, and then we can do something fun: like a game or reading something nice?”

Loki chuckled and ate some of the peaches. “Do…do you think we could walk? I know the garden is overrun with weeds and nothing much to look at yet, but I think I’d like a walk…” he asked hesitantly after a few moments of silence.

“Yeah, we can walk,” he nodded with a smile on his lips.

“Thank you,” Loki said.

“Anything for you,” Clint kissed his forehead again and went to finish putting new heads on his arrows.

Loki finished his meal and drank half of his tea before he decided it was time to get up. He set the tray aside and patted Ástnæmr’s head as he carefully got out of bed. He pulled his sweater tighter around him and then went to the bathroom. He relieved himself, washed his hands and face, rinsed his mouth, and tamed his hair. It was long enough now that it lay almost to the end of his shoulder blades. He pulled it back into a ponytail at the middle of his head and secured it with an elastic tie. He then took another tie and looped it as he folded his hair up, making a small little messy bun. He shook his head a bit to make sure it was secure and then went to dress.

He decided something simple, like what Clint was wearing; black jeans, t-shirt, and the thick sweater Clint had chosen for him. He picked a black and dark grey striped horizontal shirt and stood before the archer. “This doesn’t clash, does it?” he asked worried.

Clint looked up and then shook his head. “Nah it looks fine.”

“Even with the cables?” he asked running his fingers down the large woven knots knitted on his sweater.

“Nope, just fine,” he smiled and rose. “Let me gather these in case the cats get adventurous,” he said scooping the arrow heads up and stashed them in an old backpack. He closed it and put the unfinished arrow shafts up with it on the top of a high shelf in the closet.

Clint pulled his boots on as Loki put his socks and boots on. As Clint went to fill the cat’s water bowl, Loki took the medicine bottle and stuffed it into his large sweater pocket. It felt heavier than he expected; the weight reminding him of the already heavy burden twisting around his soul.

“Ready?” Barton asked coming back into the room and set the bowl down. It was perfect timing. Any further dwelling on that subject and Loki was sure the darkness would have woken.

He nodded and they kissed the kittens goodbye.

As they headed down the stairs, Loki let his hand drift to find Clint’s. He threaded their fingers together. Clint tightened his grip on Loki’s a bit and gave him a smile as they went past the kitchen to the coat closet. They decided to take one of the back side halls, instead of going through the kitchen, to the backyard. They went down the narrow hallway, through the laundry area, and out the back door.

It was crisp out. The smell of autumn was heavy in the air. The leaves were dead and fallen and there was a light frost still on the grass. It crunched under their feet as they left the path and began making a slow large circle around the yard.

“When should I take them?” Loki asked after a while of silence.

“Hm?” he said looking at him.

“The…medicine,”

“Oh, Bruce said at three, you’ve got an hour.”

“Just one?”

“For now,” said Clint. “He doesn’t know how fast your body will burn through it, so he’s putting you on the highest dose a human can have.”

“Which is?”

“Five of those a day. They’re like two milligrams each, so one every four hours with two pills right before bed.”

“You’ve worked it all out,” he said quietly.

“Yeah,” Clint admitted feeling a little embarrassed. “I uh, I wanted to make sure everything evened out and that you didn’t have to worry about things.”

“So I suppose I’m on a tight schedule now?”

“Sort of,” he shrugged. “Give or take a few minutes, I think it’s close to the one you’ve always had.”

Loki nodded. “Please do not take my tone or reluctance toward these pills as ungrateful. I am very thankful for the concern you and your friends have shown toward me.”

“They are your friends too,” he reminded.

“To some degree,”

Clint sighed and swung their clasped hands a bit. “Oh Lo, what am I going to do with you?”

Loki felt pride swell inside his chest at the sound of the archer’s chosen nickname. He looked at him and smiled, leaning in to rest his head a little on his shoulder. “Love me forever?” he said sweetly.

“Done,” he smiled and let go of his hand to wrap an arm around his shoulders. Loki put his now free hand around Clint’s waist and they continued on their mission to circle the backyard.

\-------------------------------------------------

“He looks a little better,” Natasha whispered to Thor as they watched them from the backdoor near the kitchen.

“You said he was hallucinating?” he asked worried.

She shook her head. “No, I wouldn’t say that. I would say he was just…scared. He couldn’t completely grasp that his dream had been a dream. He was so sure that he had hurt Clint and he was terrified.”

Thor exhaled heavily and nodded. “And the medicine?”

“Same stuff Bruce is on. He’s got him on the highest dose for humans. He’ll up or take away from there, but I’m telling you, I’ve never seen Loki act like that before. At one point, it was as though he regressed into a childlike state.”

“This darkness is too cruel,” Thor said and turned to leave her. “I shall locate an Elder Guardian of this realm and consult them on the matter if this progresses any further.”

“I hope it doesn’t,” she muttered and worried her lip.

\-------------------------------------------------

“This is nice,” Darcy said to Jane as she bounced on the bed they shared. “I mean it’s not like super crazy swanky, but it’s pretty fly,” she decided and leaned back on her hands to admire the decorative floral crown moulding on the ceiling.

Jane wasn’t paying attention to her; she was already hard at work searching for old schematics and fixing the equations on them so that she could start rebuilding her equipment. It was going to take forever! She sighed heavily and rubbed at her face. “Do you think Dr. Banner would let me in his lab?” she muttered.

“Not sure,” Darcy shrugged. “Hey computer!”

“Greetings Miss Lewis, my name is Jarvis; how may I be of service?”

“First, you may address me as ‘Lady Darcy’,”

“Yes, Lady Darcy,”

“Secondly, can we get into Dr. B’s lab?”

“I am sorry, Lady Darcy, I am not allowed to let anyone without a valid security code into Mr. Stark and Dr. Banner’s lab.”

“Okay, thanks,” she gave the ceiling a thumbs-up and then turned to Jane. “I’ll bust us in tonight,” she hissed.

“I would not advise such a thing,” JARVIS warned. “I am programmed, by Mr. Stark, to alert the police and the Avengers if there is any suspicious behaviour happening around the mansion. I would hate for you to have to go to jail over curiosity, Lady Darcy.”

“Damn,” she sighed and flopped back onto the bed.

Selvig burst into their room suddenly and went to the window. “Do you see that!?” he hissed pointing violently toward the outside. He was fuming angry: face red, neck muscles tense, spit flying as he spoke. “Do you see that – that _disgusting_ – that horrid – that _revolting_ – _that_ –”

Darcy got up and went to the window as he continued to slew off adjectives. She spotted what he was so steamed up about. “Oh look at that!” she smiled and pointed down to where Loki and Clint were. They had stopped walking and where standing close; both of them staring at one another and smiling in such a loving happy way that it was hard to not admire how cute they looked together. The two kissed and as they did, they laughed.

“That’s sickening!” Erik hissed and glared down at them.

“Come on man, that’s actually really freaking cute,” Darcy said and looked at him with a smile. “Like don’t you want a love like that?”

“Repulsive,” he shivered completely repelled by the entire thing. “It’s foulsome!” He hissed. “Those two! Being together! Doing the things they did! I tell you he’s still under his curse!”

“He didn’t put you under a curse, he just took over your brain,” said Darcy rolling her eyes with a tired sigh and sat on the bed.

“It’s the same thing!” he barked at her. She stared at him with wide shocked eyes.

“Hey!” Jane snapped at him. “Calm down! I know you’re not happy with it, but you have to remember we’re guests and they have all made it very clear that they are supporting their relationship, as well as Loki being their friend, regardless of what happened.”

“He’s cursed them all,” Erik muttered to himself.

Jane sighed heavily and got up. She grabbed her coat and shoes.

“Where are you going?” Darcy asked nervously and shot a side long glance in Selvig’s direction.

“Out. I can’t…figure out an equation and I need to walk,” she said pulling her shoes on quickly and then hurried out the door.

“Look what you did,” Darcy said standing up suddenly. “I hope you’re happy,” she said and hurried out the door after Jane as her bravery evaporated under Selvig’s intense glare.

He ‘blahed’ after them, flopping his arms to show how much of a damn he gave about them leaving, and continued to glare out the window.

The two were now spinning. It looked as though Clint was trying to get Loki to dance but the god was too shy to fully try. The faint sounds of their laughter made his stomach curdle.

“Simply disgusting,” he hissed.

\-------------------------------------------------

Jane was so busy trying to put her coat on that she didn’t see Thor until she was face first in his chest.

“Oh!” she said stumbling back.

He caught her from falling. “Careful,” he said.

She stared up at him for a moment and then moved out of his hold, straightening herself. “Thank you,” she said and cleared her throat embarrassed.

“It’s nothing; I should have been paying attention.”

“That makes two,” she admitted. “So then I guess I should apologise too. Um,” she licked her lips and tucked hair behind her ears. “I’m sorry.”

Thor shook his head and held up a hand ready to say something noble and sincerely humble, but she didn’t want to hear it so she continued on.

“No I mean it. I’m sorry. I’m sorry you were trapped on your realm. I’m sorry your kingdom fell into wars and pillages and raids and things,” she said waving her hands trying to remember his excuses from before. “I’m sorry you were hurt during the attack and I’m sorry I…got so upset and hit you without letting you explain things first.”

“I do not blame your anger,” he said honestly. “Everything that has happened is my fault. I broke the Bifrost; I let my brother fall; I waited to search for a way to return to Midgard; I waited to find you; I waited to rescue my brother again; I waited to keep my friends safe; I…” he stopped realising he was rambling and most likely being annoying. “Apologises, the point of it all is…we both have some sort of blame and we both feel regret for our deeds. We are both forgiving and kind people…” He held out his hand to her. “Friends still?”

She looked at it for a moment, a part of her heart sinking at the idea of only being his friend. “Yeah,” she finally said and shook it. “Friends.”

Thor swallowed down his disappointment at only settling upon that tier of their relationship, yet he smiled. He had hoped she’d fight him for something more, but if that’s what she wanted…who was he to deny her? He realised he would do anything for her, regardless how much it hurt him to do so. “You are in a hurry to go somewhere, I shan’t keep you.”

“Actually I just needed to get out of the room. Erik was kind of fussing about your brother and stuff and I just didn’t want to hear it so…I was…” she shrugged. “I was just going to wonder.”

“Well in that case, do you mind if I wonder with you? I too find I need to be in motion and cannot stand the company of many others. Unless you desire to be alone?” he asked with a small hopefulness to his voice that she wouldn’t turn him down.

“Yes!” Darcy loudly and dramatically whispered from down the hall. “Her answer is yes!”

Jane chuckled nervously and Thor smiled appreciating the young lady’s meddling.

“I guess,” Jane shrugged trying to be nonchalant and tucked her hair behind her ear again. “I mean…if you don’t mind wondering and with me…then yeah.”

“Excellent,” he smiled. “Let me fetch my coat, I shan’t be more than a moment,” he promised and entered his room.

Darcy skipped happily past Jane. She turned and walked backwards, winking at her and giving her a thumbs-up and then hurried down the stairs and out of sight.

Jane rolled her eyes and sighed heavily.

“Back,” Thor said feeling a little nervous and terribly awkward. He adjusted his jacket collar.

“Great,” she said feeling just the same.

Thor and her stood staring at one another for a moment before they both jumped a bit and looked away.

“Um,” he said and then offered his arm. “Shall we?”

She looked at him stunned for a moment and then slipped her arm into his. “Sure,” she said and inwardly cringed at how lame her response had sounded aloud.

Thor thought she was perfectly adorable and smiled at her as they headed for the stairs.

\-------------------------------------------------

“Clint!” Loki laughed as the archer held him around the waist and spun them around.

“As the world falls down!!!!” he sang. “WE’RE FALLING! Falling in loooovveee!!!” he said breathlessly with a smile and then felt his balance go off. His foot landed on a rock and he tried letting go of Loki, but he was too late and they both landed on the ground hard. “I’m sorry,” he panted and winced as Loki pulled his elbow out of his side.

“It’s fine,” Loki said moving off of him. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah,” he sighed and lay on the ground. “Just winded…maybe a little bruised, but nothing that won’t heal.”

“Are you certain?” he said worried.

“Yeah,” he smiled at him and then reached a hand up to brush some of the stray hairs from his face.

“I believe we have recreated your song fairly well,” Loki said and held Clint’s hand near his face.

They laughed and Clint leaned up toward him. Loki hurried to lean down and they kissed. Clint hummed and Loki felt heat rise to his face. They pulled back and stared lovingly at one another for several silent moments.

Clint’s wristwatch alarm went off. He scowled at it and pushed a button to silence the high beeping sound and then sighed. The magic between them was gone and the cold reality of the world fell upon them again.

“It is time?” Loki asked, even though he knew better. He just needed something to say as he turned a little away from the archer and tried to hide how much it hurt him to be bound to something so primitive, yet so powerful that it could destroy half the realm in less than an hour.

Clint nodded. “Yeah,” he said and scratched a little at the back of his head.

Loki nodded as well and then rose. He held his hands out to help Clint up.

“One day at a time,” Clint reminded with an optimistic grin as he stood.

Loki let a hopeful smile touch his lips. They walked back together hand in hand.

They didn’t say anything as they passed Thor and Jane, the two so deep in discussion about something involving a monkey and a bicycle that they didn’t even notice they had passed Loki and Clint. Loki glanced over his shoulder toward them just before they entered the house. His brother radiated happiness and it brought about an odd sensation within him he couldn’t describe.

Inside the kitchen Darcy was sitting on a stool eating a banana and Natasha was repainting her nails at the table.

“Hey,” Natasha said not looking up from her work.

“Hey,” Clint said.

“Hello,” Loki whispered.

Darcy watched them with curious eyes.

Loki went to the cabinet for a glass and then filled it from the fridge. He set it down on the counter near the sink and, keeping his back to Darcy, opened the medicine bottle to retrieve one of the little white pills. He popped it back into his mouth and drank the water. He suddenly felt very exhausted. He rubbed at his forehead. “I think I need to lie down,” he whispered and turned toward the others. “Excuse me,” he said and left.

Clint noticed he’d left his pill bottle. He quickly grabbed it and the god’s water.

“What’s that?” Darcy asked pointing toward the bottle before he could hide it in his pocket.

“Uh…headache meds. Strong ones. Loki gets migraines a lot. It’s an after-effect from being under the Tesseract’s control,” he lied.

“Oh, he was under it too?”

“Yeah,”

“So, do you get really bad headaches?”

“No, my time was very brief compared to his.”

“Selvig gets them,” she said thinking about it. “But he always gets them. I think they have to do with stress and worry rather than the whole mind-slaving thing,” she reasoned.

“Sounds like a logical conclusion,” Natasha said absently and looked her nails over.

“Yeah he seems pretty uptight,” Clint agreed.

“He is,” Darcy assured.

“Well…” Clint said. “I better check on the kittens. About time for them to eat again,” he said realising the time. He grabbed a nearly empty container of their food and then saluted to them. “See ya at dinner.”

“It’ll be later in the evening,” Natasha warned.

“It’s fine, just call us down whenever,” he said over his shoulder.

“Hm,” Darcy said to herself after Clint had left. Natasha looked up at her. She noticed the assassin’s stare. “That’s the third time it’s been mentioned,” she said. “Y’know, Loki being under the Tesseract’s influence and stuff,” she quickly clarified.

“And?” Romanoff asked raising a brow.

“Erik never mentioned it…but somehow I feel like he knew. He doesn’t want to admit certain things, because then he’d have no one here to blame. It’d just be an unknown advisory, and Erik’s not a fan of unknowns. I mean he is, because it’s part of his job and stuff, but personally? He’s all about responsibility and making others accountable for their actions. If he accepts Loki being under the same force as he was himself, the physical identified monster he’s –”

“Please don’t use that word,” Natasha gently interrupted.

“What?” Darcy blinked confused.

“‘Monster’,” she clarified. “We don’t use that word in this house to describe people, unless they’re Hitler or part of a muppet’s name.”

“Oh,” she said quietly. “Sorry, I didn’t know.”

“It’s fine; but please be mindful of it in the future. You were saying?”

“Um…oh right! So if he accepts that, the physical identified…being,” she chose instead, “becomes a faceless force he can’t lash out against, because he doesn’t know what it looks like or it’s name.”

“He seems like he’s let his temper get the better of him these past few months.”

“Yeah,” Darcy said looking down at her hands. “He’s always been difficult, and stubborn, and snobbish with his smarts, but he’s gotten worse since New York…” she admitted quietly.

Natasha felt sorry for her. It must have been hard: moving around, trying to throw S.H.I.E.L.D. off their trail; worried about her friend and talked down too for not knowing certain things. She had met Selvig several years ago at a conference. He seemed like a respectable and kind man, yet was too blatantly honest for his own good. He never meant to come off as being rude, just had a deep thirst for showing others what he saw in the world and why he did what he did. He loved his work and he wanted others to share in the awe of knowledge, he just had a horrible way of going about it.

From what she’d seen now, it seemed his people kills had worsened; probably due to PTSD from the alien affair. He was no longer the man he had once been and never would be again. He could be similar, but never the same. Natasha had actually expected him to go insane and run around in his underwear spouting nonsense about aliens and gravitational temporal shifts among the universe; but instead he had hardened down, grabbed at all of his sanity and fashioned himself a shell of focused hatred. He was a pent-up time-bomb of frustration, crazy, aggressive actions, and embarrassing naked public displays. Just two comments and the one wrong look away from doing unintentional serious harm to himself and others.

He was a high risk factor Natasha didn’t like, but she couldn’t bring herself to turn her back on. “He’ll get better,” she reassured. Darcy looked at her. “I promise. We help our friends.”

\-------------------------------------------------

Loki had gone straight to bed. It was a good thing too, for he fell asleep not too long after taking the medicine. He wasn’t out for very long, but he felt odd upon waking: a bit heavy, a little disorientated, and somewhat sick to his stomach. He got out of bed and hung around in the bathroom, sitting near the toilet for a while.

Clint had come over to see if he was okay. He waved him away with reassurances and then promptly fell asleep again on the floor. He woke to Ást’s face next to his and Jareth trying to climb on top of him. There were soft noises coming from the other room and he realised Clint had the TV turned on a very low setting.

He sat up and stretched. Jareth clung to his side until he stopped moving and then resumed his mountainous adventure up toward his back. Loki realised where he was headed: the little hood on the sweater he wore. Jareth awkwardly tumbled into it and snuggled up in the pouch it made. Loki had often carried his own children in such a manner, so the kitten being there did not bother him. In fact it comforted him greatly.

He stood and carefully stretched again. He felt Jareth wiggle around. He looked at himself in the mirror and adjusted his sweater so that the kitten sat deeper into the hood and there was little to no chance of him actually falling out on accident.

Clint was hard at work. There were wires and metal pieces scattered all around the table. He was working with an arrow head, the very tip just a tiny point, the rest of it looked like half of a cylindrical casing of a sort. He had his tongue poking out to the side as he twisted a tiny screwdriver around. There was a small spark and he blew at it and waved the tiny puff of smoke away. He set a small vial of something into it and set the other side of the head on, and screwed the base of it together. The top was sealed with some sort of glue that oozed out, but Clint didn’t seem to mind it. He let it press out and wiped it away with a soiled rag.

“Oh hey,” he said noticing Loki.

“Hello,” he replied and went over to him.

“How are you feeling?” he asked setting the arrow carefully on a rack to dry.

“I’m not sure…different…” he said honestly.

“Dinner’s almost done, are you feeling up to it?”

Loki nodded. “I believe so.” He looked around the room and then crossed his arms before his chest. “How long have I been asleep?”

“Almost two hours. I was just about to come check on you again. I tried putting a blanket on you a while ago, but you kicked it off.”

“Thank you for being so patient with me,” he whispered.

Clint gave him a look. It was a flat glare meant in an affectionate frustrated manner. “Loki…” he said very seriously. “Love of my life, other part of my soul, keeper of my heart; don’t you dare, ever apologise or thank me again for being ‘patient’ or helping you.” He stood and smiled a little, holding out his arms toward the god.

Loki couldn’t stop a small smile from gracing his own lips. He embraced him with a grateful sigh. “However will I show you that you are appreciated then?” he mused.

“Hug me, love me, kiss me, spank me, fuck me; honestly the ways are endless,” he said and continued to hold him. He knew Loki wasn’t ready to let go, and honestly he didn’t mind. It felt good to hold him like that. Well…it was good until something moved on Loki’s back. He turned his head to stare at it, cautiously rising on tiptoes to try and see what it was.

Loki laughed and let him go. “I forgot,” he said and turned to the side to show the archer his back. He looked over his shoulder and watched as Jareth popped his head out. He mewed a little and yawned.

“That’s…the cutest thing I’ve ever seen,” Clint said melting. “Oh look at him all snuggly in your hood! It’s like you’re a reverse kangaroo!”

“What?” Loki laughed.

“We’ll do a crash-course in detail on animals another day. The basics: it’s an animal that stands on two legs, looks like a giant fierce bunny and has a pouch on it’s belly for it’s babies.”

“Oh, it’s a marsupial,” Loki nodded.

“Yeah sure, maybe that’s what it’s called,” he shrugged. “Look I’m an expert assassin and thief, not an animalologist,”

Loki laughed and set his hands on both sides of Clint’s face. “I adore you,” he said before kissing him.

“That’s not the term is it?” he winced and considered the stupidity of the word he’d just used.

“No,” Loki replied shaking his head.

“I didn’t finish school,” he said giving him the puppy-pouty face.

“I’m not blaming or judging you,” he promised and kissed him again.

“Pardon the interruption, sirs,” JARVIS said.

“Yes?” Clint asked.

“Miss Romanoff wishes for me to inform you that dinner is served,”

“We’re coming down,” Clint promised and looked at Loki.

The god sighed and looked over his shoulder. “Shame…he looks so comfortable…”

“Yeah…” Clint agreed and then carefully scooped the little one out of Loki’s hood. He set him on the bed under the covers. Ást jumped onto the bed and did a series of stretches as he made his way up to snuggle as well. “We’ll be back,” he promised them.

When they made it to the table the only ones there were Steve, Bruce, and Natasha. The centre sections of the table had been taken out so that it was smaller and more intimate, yet still able to seat all five of them comfortably.

“Thor ate with the others earlier. They ordered in,” she explained as she set the large glass dish on the table’s centre.

“Is that meatloaf?” Clint asked.

“Yes,”

“Is it turkey?”

“Yes,”

“More for us, I’m cool with it,” he nodded and then pulled Loki’s seat out.

The god smiled and let Clint help him sit up at the table. “Am I allowed to thank you for this or must I show my appreciation by other means?”

“Other means,” he said leaning down for a kiss before going to get them something to drink.

“What are we having again?” Loki asked looking the steaming dish over. It was a moulded loaf-shaped meat blended with other things and smothered in a red sauce. It seemed she had transferred it onto a different plate than the one it was cooked it, to give it a cleaner and more decorative look.

“Meatloaf,” Natasha said putting a mixed bowl of peas and carrots on the table. There were already two other bowls: one large one full of mashed potatoes and other of green beans.

“You’ll like it,” Clint reassured. “Natasha makes the best meatloaf.”

“I enjoy all of her cooking, so I do not doubt you,” he said with a smile.

“You’re so sweet,” she smiled at him, sincerely flattered. She took her seat just as Clint returned with two glasses of water. “Does anyone need to do a prayer or a moment of contemplative silence?” she asked looking around.

“I would like too,” Steve said.

“Same,” Loki added.

“Very well,” she smiled and everyone quieted. Loki prayed to the Norns in thanks for their food, the people around him, and most especially Clint. He also added a small selfish plea for strength as he dealt with the darkness.

When he was done he looked up. Steve finished a few seconds behind him. They all began passing around dishes and chatting about their day.

“How was training?” Natasha asked.

“Can you pass me the butter, please?” Bruce whispered to Loki.

“Same as usual. Fury’s much faster than I thought he’d be,” Steve said.

“I made a new type of arrow,” Clint chipped in.

“Are the potatoes warm enough, Loki?” Natasha asked from across the table.

“Here’s the salt,” Steve said giving the small container to Bruce.

“They are perfect,” Loki replied.

“The arrow is pretty cool,” Clint said again.

“I saw my cousin,” Bruce said.

“This piece is ant-sized!” Clint muttered when he saw what Natasha gave him.

“How is she doing?” she replied ignoring Clint.

“Good, a little freaked out, but good. She never did much like the city; too hectic for her.”

“What does she do again?” Steve asked.

“I made an arrow,” Clint threw out again.

“Law,”

“Will we be meeting her?” Loki asked.

“Probably,” Bruce shrugged. “She’s painfully shy though.”

“So that arrow I made,”

“I’m sure its great Clint, you can show me later,” Natasha promised. “Is it the one that releases a strong sedative or a sleeping gas?”

“Gas one,” he said around a mouthful of meatloaf.

“Good, I’m glad you figured it out.”

“Me too,” he nodded satisfied with attention for the time being.

“What is your cousin like?” Loki asked curiously.

“Well,” Bruce thought and then shrugged. “She’s kind, quiet, easily startled in new or terrifying situations. She’s pretty strong and stubborn though. It takes her a while to open up to people, but once that happens you can’t get her to shut up,” he laughed fondly.

“You should invite your cousin to our movie night, it’s coming up soon,” Loki suggested.

“I don’t know if she will,”

“Yeah, it’ll be fun,” Natasha said liking the idea. “You’re going to be on patrol that night, but now with more girls in the house I’m sure she’ll feel much more comfortable and have a better time than staying in her hotel room alone.”

Bruce considered it for a moment. “I’ll ask her,” he decided. “I can’t specifically tell her about it outright, she’ll never accept it. I’ll have to bring her along like she’s seeing the lab or something and then spring the news that she’s invited to the event and leave real fast.”

“Element of surprise,” Loki smiled approvingly.

The others agreed.

Clint was right; Loki found the meatloaf to be exceptionally delicious. It was very moist and solid; the texture was well put together, but had some give to it. The meat was well seasoned and the sauce over top seemed to be ketchup that had been baked in the oven. It gave the crust a nice sort of crispness he found appealing, and the flavour and consistency of the ketchup had changed into something pleasing. The potatoes were creamy, the vegetables were fresh and wonderful, and all around it was a fantastic, satisfying, and very filling meal.

They all ate the whole loaf, plus the other one that Natasha had made just-in-case. When they were finished, there were no left-overs and only dishes to worry about.

“Anyone up for a game?” Steve asked looking around as they all helped gather the dirty dishes. Everyone nodded in agreement.

“Cards?” Natasha offered. No one objected so she went to find two packs in a drawer in one of the buffets in the hall.

Loki took a damp rag and wiped down the table. Clint followed behind with a dry one.

“I found them!” she smiled and held the cards up. “I also found a pad of paper in case we need to keep score.”

“I’m too poor for poker,” Banner admitted outright.

“Eh, I’m not in the mood to take anyone’s money today,” she shrugged.

Clint went over and pretended to take her temperature. “Oh!” he shivered. “Did anyone else just feel Hell freeze over?”

“Ha-ha,” she said sarcastically.

They laughed and settled back around the table. Natasha started shuffling.

“The kittens,” Loki suddenly realised jumping out of his chair. He felt his heart start pounding a little harder.

“I’ve got it,” Clint promised getting up and helped Loki sit back down. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll go take care of them.” He went and grabbed the container and hurried upstairs.

Loki closed his eyes and took a calming breath. He realised then that he had been feeling on edge for a while. Now he felt itchy in his skin and wanted to get up and start running. Where? He hadn’t a clue, but it seemed like a great idea. He forced himself to take deep slow breaths. His heart rate slowed a little, but it was still too fast for normal. He fidgeted in his seat a little.

“You okay?” Bruce asked.

Loki nodded. “I think I left my medicine upstairs,” he whispered and rubbed at his forehead a little embarrassed.

“I can run up –” Natasha offered.

“No it’s fine, if it is that time Clint’s watch should go off,” he muttered not looking at any of them. He suddenly felt cornered and overly self-conscious.

“What game are we thinking?” she said trying to get the attention away from Loki.

“Rummy?” Steve suggested.

“Clint doesn’t like regular,” she shook her head.

“What other kind is there?”

“Bitch,”

“What?” Steve blinked at her confused.

“Bitch rummy,”

“What’s that?”

“It’s like rummy but with certain rules and lots of bitching,” she smiled.

“I’m game,” Steve decided with a shrug.

“Bruce?”

“Sure,”

“Loki do you want to play?” she asked.

Loki shook his head and stared at the table. He could feel the darkness moving inside of him. It was as though it was pushing through the wall of another dimension into him. He could feel it, but just a faint touch; the horrible hisses and shouts of anger where distant whispers that made fear crawl up his spine. He shifted in his chair again.

Clint returned and put the container in the fridge. “Kittens are happily eating,” he announced and then set a pill in front of Loki.

The god quickly took it and sat quietly; very closed off, trying to make himself as small as possible as he continued to stare at the table.

Clint sat and gently rubbed his back. “So what are we playing?”

“Bitch rummy,”

“Great!” he beamed.

The two assassins went over the rules for the game, which Steve and Bruce found easy enough to get. Natasha shuffled and dealt first as Clint set up a score sheet. They started playing. The first round was a little rough as the newbies tried figuring it out, but by the time they were halfway down the lined page they were pros at the game.

Loki felt himself relax and watched as they played it. Clint cheered, smiled, and gloated when he was in the lead or had a great hand, but the moment things looked unpromising he was cursing and complaining. The god could see where the ‘bitch’ part came in now. Even Bruce and Steve had their share of grumblings. Steve even put down a wild hard without realising it and dropped the f-word with a heavy sigh of frustration. Natasha and Clint rushed to claim it. She got there first. Clint muttered darkly and whined about it. It was her turn next so she set down the wildcard, two aces, and discarded.

“Out!” she smiled.

“Fuck,” Clint said putting his head down. He had a joker and an ace. He also couldn’t make three of a kind to place down anything so he had a handful of useless cards and numerous points to lose.

“Nothing too bad,” Bruce admitted and showed his two cards. “Negative ten.”

“Negative thirty-five,” Steve said tossing his in the centre.

“Clint?” Natasha asked as she wrote the numbers down to total.

“Give me a minute, this is painful.” He counted. “Negative two-hundred and eighty-five.”

“Not too bad,” she smiled and looked at him. He glared at her. “Oh come on, you’ve had worse. Remember that one time?”

“Don’t!” he warned. “I hate that time.”

“Clint lost big,” she explained for the others. “He was in the lead, had dealt out, gotten a huge hand for himself and decent ones for everyone else. I had gotten three cards, which, you know is a bad one to get because it’s hard to make it down on the board. Well I looked at them, and there were two kings and a three. I drew a card, it was a wild, which happened to be an Ace so it was double the points, so I set the kings down with it and discarded the three. Clint had pretty much all face cards, two jokers, and three aces: Eight-hundred and sixty points. He was in the lead and dropped below everyone. Never recovered.”

The other two groaned imagining it and expressed their sympathies.

“Then there was the time he was really beating me and I got a few good hands, and I ended up beating him by five points,”

“Okay we get it, you win a lot,” Clint snapped.

“Oh come on,” she said in an apologetic tone. “You’ve beaten me more at this game than anyone else.”

Clint continued to glare at her.

“How many more hands?” Bruce asked curiously.

“Two,” Natasha said. “Does everyone want to play another game afterward?”

“Depends on how good I make it out of this one,” Steve said honestly and shuffled. He dealt out. “Kings are wild,” he said when he flipped over the first card to deal for his hand. He finished setting it up and everyone hemmed and hawed as they contemplated over their cards.

Natasha drew her first card and then set three twos down before discarding a three.

Bruce went next. He didn’t have anything so he threw down a card he didn’t think he’d ever get: a six of diamonds.

Clint picked both up and set down three threes, six seven eight of diamonds, and then two queens and a king. “Those are queens,” he said indicating what he was playing the wildcard as and discarded a ten.

Steve drew. He put down two jacks with his wildcard king. “Jacks,” he indicated. “I play this two on your twos and this queen on your queens.” He discarded a five of clubs.

Natasha drew a card. She set the queen down. “Play on your queens,” she mumbled and then discarded a five of hearts.

Bruce picked up both fives and set three fives down. “Fives, play this nine on your six, seven, eight, and I’m floating,” he announced.

“Ah!” Clint panicked. He drew and puffed out a breath of air slowly. He made a face and then took a moment to contemplate. “Playing on your jacks,” he said putting his down and then discarded an eight of hearts.

“Thanks,” Steve said taking just the eight. “six seven eight nine,” he announced setting all of the same suit down and discarded a six of clubs.

“Wow!” Natasha said impressed. “You are on fire!”

“I know,” he said back wagging his eyebrows at her.

Natasha took a moment to dramatically fan herself before drawing. She discarded it as soon as she saw it: a four of clubs.

Bruce drew and then played the card down. “Playing on your jacks. Still floating.”

“Damn,” Clint hissed and drew. “Oh no wait,” he said and laughed. “Saved!” he set two aces and a joker down. “Floating!” he said pumping his fists into the air as he leaned back in his chair all tension melted out of him.

Steve drew. He put a seven down.

Natasha picked up the six four and seven of clubs. She set the six seven and eight from her hand down in the same suit and went out. “Out,” she said.

They started counting their points and calling them out to Natasha.

“A hundred and fifty,” Steve said after deducting five points from the total of what he had down.

“Thirty-five,” Bruce said to Natasha.

“Four-sixty,” Clint said adding his cards to the pile.

“Forty for me,” she whispered writing it down. She drew a line under their scores and started adding their points up. “See, and you were grumpy about losing last game, you made it back up with a little spare.”

“I only gained a hundred and five points from where I was two hands ago!”

“Yes, but now you’re back above fifteen-hundred.”

“What!?” he gasped. “How are we almost done with the game and I haven’t broken over two thousand!?”

“These two are taking all your luck,” she reasoned. “Beginners always get the luck and they’re about neck-in-neck.”

“Give it back,” Clint pouted at Steve.

“No,” he replied furrowing his brow at him.

Clint stuck his tongue out at him. Steven stuck his back. It startled Clint a little and he pulled his tongue back in his mouth to stare at him dumbfounded, not expecting the soldier to have done such a thing. Loki laughed quietly at them.

Natasha shuffled and dealt out the cards. She flipped an ace for Steve, then gave him ten more cards, and flipped a five for Bruce, then gave him four more cards, and flipped a three for Clint.

“Dammit,” he said dropping his forehead to the table.

She laughed and gave him two more before flipping a six for herself. “Sixes are wild,” she said giving herself five more cards before setting the deck down and flipping one over to start the discard pile with a three. “See, don’t say I don’t love you.”

“It’d be better if it were a six and I was in Steve’s spot,” he muttered and stared miserably at his cards. Steve quietly organised his hand and thought out what to do and Bruce chuckled to himself.

Steve drew a card and sighed. “Queens,” he said putting two queens and a joker down. “Jack, joker, king, ace, two of hearts.” He discarded a two.

Bruce drew a card and then set down four cards. “Joker, queen, king, ace of diamonds,” he said and discarded a nine of spades.

Clint picked up the cards in the discarded pile. He set three threes down and discarded the nine again.

Natasha picked up the discarded cards. She started sorting and then realised there was a better way to get rid of more cards. “I forgot six was wild,” she muttered with a smirk and laid down two sets of three cards. “Eights,” she said putting two sixes and an eight down. “Joker, nine, ten of spades,” and she discarded the two.

Bruce drew a two of diamonds. He set it down with his cards and discarded a five of hearts. “Out,” he said.

“Damn,” Clint hissed.

“An ace?” Natasha asked.

“A queen,”

“Seriously? You’re whining about a queen?”

“I only had fifteen down on the board! I made five out of this whole hand!”

She laughed and shook her head. “Scores?” she asked the others.

“Two-hundred twenty-five,” Bruce said.

“Three-hundred thirty,” Steve said putting his cards in the centre with the rest.

“Two-twenty,” Natasha whispered and tallied their final scores. “In last place we have Clint with fifteen-fifteen, myself in third with two-thousand three-hundred and fifty, and in first place…with two-thousand three-hundred and thirty-five: Steve!”

The others cheered, even Clint.

“Bruce you got twenty-two-ninety as your final score,” Natasha said with a smile at him.

“Good game,” Bruce said holding out a hand to Steve.

“Indeed,” he smiled and shook it.

“Whew! Yay! Great! Now let’s play again so I can win,” Clint said, his tone indicating he was all business.

“Loki?” Natasha said picking up all of the cards. “Would you like to play?”

“Why not?” he decided with a small shrug and a tiny smile.

“I love you, but no mercy,” Clint warned.

Loki stared at him with an expression that suggested his petty threats did not intimidate or scare him.

“Just saying,” Clint muttered and leaned in as Steve shuffled and dealt.

Loki smiled and kissed him before the game started. “Now it is war,” he said as he picked up his cards and began looking them over.

“May the best warrior win,” Bruce added as he drew a card and started the game.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys. Sorry it took so long. Some other auditions popped up and I couldn't turn them down. Now that things are settling, I'm just going to edit/write chapters and play the waiting game.
> 
> Jen is staying in a standard Queen at the Econo Lodge located in Times Square. I don't know what kind of carpet they have now, but when I went there there were dots and the OCD side of me went crazy counting them.  
>  **Koronet Pizza** is a magical place with FUCKING HUGE slices of amazing delicious wonderful joy for a great price. They are located at 2848 Broadway, New York, NY 10025 so if you're ever there be sure to see them, because I'm not joking when I say your slice of pizza will be Asgardian sized. It's like a whole pizza in one massive personal slice and it's great!


	52. Chapter 52

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sorry, I had an unexpected callback that sent me away really quickly so I couldn't post last week when I wanted. No new news...still waiting... *sigh*.
> 
> In the meantime, have this chapter!
> 
> Thank you for being so patient with me and for reading! All mistakes are my own; Marvel owns characters and stuff; and please enjoy!!!

\----------------------52----------------------

Someone was screaming. It was an unnatural scream; the kind your brain couldn’t come up with on its own. The sort of screams that chill your blood and make you freeze in place; paralysed with fright. Your heart starts thundering nearly out of your chest; your breath becomes shallow and shortened by more than half; sweat breaks out on your forehead and underarms; your muscles are tense, ready to run, yet you can’t seem to remember how to tell them to work because your head is full with the sound of those screams. They echo around inside your skull, down your throat and into your chest; they fill your stomach and intestines; vibrate through your bones and radiate back up to the very top of your scalp, making all of the hairs on your body stand on end. You don’t shiver, yet you have the compulsion to do so. The lack of being able too makes your stomach twist with nausea, but you can’t summon the will to react to it.

These screams did not sound as though they could or should come from any normal being and it took Loki several minutes before he realised they were his. He was staring at himself from behind a foggy sheet of glass; just barely able to make out certain shapes as the picture cleared and smudged over in slow lazy rolling waves. He was watching the Other work. They were injecting him with something.

At the time, Loki hadn’t known what it was they had been doing to him. He could only remember being strapped down and then nothing. Looking back on it from an outsider’s perspective, he still couldn’t clearly tell what their purpose for this particular event was; perhaps it was just a way for the Other to amuse himself. He seemed to enjoy it all, grinning and chuckling as he moved about and injected the god at random. Loki suddenly remembered it feeling like millions of glass shards were running through his veins.

He stood calmly with his arms crossed before him, watching the scene.

The darkness came to him.

“You are scared…” it said knowingly.

“Yes,” he replied flatly.

“Yet you do not flee?”

Loki couldn’t answer. He didn’t know why he chose to stay and watch that old forgotten memory. “Why me?” he asked the darkness after a long pause.

“You were so easy…” it said and then shifted into a semi-humanistic form. It became beautifully androgynous. It was pale and dark all at once and it’s skin seemed to ripple and shine as it moved. It was strong and tall and also wore no clothing, yet had noting upon it’s body to indicate any specific gender; it did not even have nipples or a belly button, and it’s breasts weren’t overly or under developed. Just enough shape to show that it had form there.

“The ones I was travelling with were probably easier targets,” he muttered more to himself.

“Yes,” it agreed. “But you were more broken…you were lost and without purpose…so we gave you some,” it laughed and morphed into the shape of the one creature in the whole of the universe Loki feared most.

A shadowy metallic looking Thanos stood before him – no, _towered_ over him. He reached his hand out to touch Loki. The god knew better and waved the illusion away, even though it made his skin crawl and his insides twist in a painfully sickening manner. The darkness chuckled as it morphed down into it’s person form again.

“Still fearful?” it taunted.

“Terrified,” he stated and felt his mouth water and the space under the curve of his jaw tingle in warning that he might vomit. The screaming had subsided and the image cleared a little. Loki watched as his former self stared listlessly up at the ceiling, blood slowly dripping from his nose and mouth as he lay upon the table. The Other motioned for one of the guards to pull a lever and it slowly tilted the table and Loki into a vertical position.

“I don’t recall this,” Loki frowned slightly.

“No, you wouldn’t. We saved you.”

Loki looked at the darkness. “You? Saved me?” he laughed in a very rude and bitter way. “For all that you have put me through, I highly doubt –”

“We have protected you!” it hissed getting into Loki’s face angrily. He didn’t back down as he normally would. He just stood there still doubting the entity’s words with a smile that suggested that he currently had the power.

“You have?” he asked in a snarky condescending manner.

“Yes!” it hissed again and pointed to the memory.

Loki watched as the Other came up to his past self.

“Where is the gauntlet?” he hissed in Loki’s ear.

“I…” he struggled and then his voice changed. His whole body changed. It was ridged with amusement and his mouth twisted not a hideous smile. “We don’t know,” he said in a slow taunting manner.

The Other growled angrily. “Where is the gauntlet?” he repeated, this time with much more force and a warning in his tone that his patience was coming to an end.

The Loki from the memory laughed, but it was not his normal laugh.

Loki noticed his eyes had become darker, almost completely black. His skin also seemed to shine, much in the same manner as the darkness’s did next to him. It gave him a sickly haunted look.

The Other struck Loki hard across the face. He continued to laugh. The Other grabbed him by the throat. “I will destroy you!” he hissed. “I will break you apart into tiny pieces and rebuild you over and over until you no longer remember anything of your former life,” he spat in a serious and very low tone.

“What a challenge you have given yourself,” he sassed in an airy fashion with an easy smile.

The darkness leaned to whisper in Loki’s ear. “Do you realise how many secrets we kept you from saying? Do you realise how many times we stopped your pathetic pleas for your family’s safety from being heard and made you look like this; like someone _he_ could trust? We saved your weak and snivelling hide. You’d be dead without us.”

“I will be dead with you,” he snapped back irritated.

It made a growling hissing noise in annoyance. “Did you honestly just think Thanos would have willingly surrendered one of the Soul Gems to you out of generosity? Did you think he trusted you enough to retrieve another?”

Loki shrugged. He forced himself not to think about it, for he knew the darkness could read his mind.

“We took over you. We made you look like this!” It pointed to the memory. “We made you seem more than what you were. We made promises and deals to keep you breathing, and you repay us so poorly!”

“ _I_ repay you so poorly?” he asked flabbergasted. “ _I_ am the one suffering yet you act as though it is the other way around. If I am such a burden and cause you such grief then why do you not leave me alone?”

“But you have so much more to give…” it purred and smoothed it’s hands over his back as it came to stand behind him. “So much more…” it hooked it’s arms around him from behind and ran its fingers along his chest lovingly.

“What if I have no desire to give it?” he asked ignoring the feel of the darkness’s touch and stared unseeingly ahead.

“You will,” it whispered in his ear. “You will give us all…” it kissed his neck. It’s touch was cold. It sickened Loki how comforting it was.

“How do I know this was real and not something you have created?” Loki asked gesturing to the scene where the Other was now strangling the god, who was still laughing hysterically.

“We…cannot touch reality…” it said holding a hand out. The moment it neared the foggy glass it was shocked. The darkness hissed and pulled it’s hand back to cradle near it’s chest. “We cannot change what happened, only things that haven’t yet. We can only bring memories to the surface…we cannot permanently alert them. Only suggest an alternative interpretation.”

“You just drape a fabricated truth over the ones you can,” Loki said and pulled at the glass as though it were a sheet. It came away easily, the scene and all, and they were left standing in a void. Loki knew then the darkness had been telling the truth; it hadn’t changed or altered the memory in any manner. He was displeased at this finding.

The darkness smiled at him in knowing victory. “We told you…”

Loki turned away from it. “I want to wake up now,” he whispered.

\-------------------------------------------------

Loki opened his eyes and inhaled sharply. He took a moment before carefully sitting up. He turned to his side table and saw the clock read six fifty-nine am. He grabbed the pill bottle in the dim morning light and flipped the covers off of him before going to the bathroom. Ástnæmr stretched and followed him, pausing to stretch again near his feet as he flipped the light on.

He stood before the mirror, ignoring his reflection, and filled the small glass near one of the sinks. He took the first pill for the day.

“Hey,” Clint said in a groggy, still half-asleep sort of way. His hair was a mess and his eyes were squinted against the light. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Loki said feeling bad for making him worry. “I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“It’s fine,” he yawned. His wristwatch went off on his nightstand. “Oh,” he said rubbing his eyes as he realised why the god was actually up.

“Yes,” Loki said starting and stepping into the shower as Clint went to shut the high beeping noise off. The god began lathering the loofa up. He turned and found Clint stepping in.

“Not a lot of room,” he muttered as he closed the door.

“No,” Loki agreed and started soaping up his arms.

Clint came up from behind him and gave him a hug. Loki paused and set his hands over Clint’s. It was just what the god needed, and he hadn’t even realised it. The hug was warm and comforting. It spread through him and made his tense muscles relax. His stomach seemed to settle and he felt his fear start to slip away.

“I love you,” Clint said, half of his face squished into Loki’s back. He sounded as though he were falling back asleep.

“I love you as well,” he said with a fond smile.

“When we’re done, can we go back to sleep?” he asked after a moment of silence.

Loki laughed, “Yes.” He nodded and realised that’s all he wanted to do: bathe the filth of that terrible memory, as well as the phantom touch of the darkness, away and then curl up with Clint’s warm protective arms and body pressed close to him.

“Okay…it’s lonely without you in bed…” he said; his tone bordering on that sleepy whiny way it’d become when he was trying really hard to stay awake yet really wanted nothing more to do than to stay in bed and return to his peaceful dreams.

Loki’s smile brightened and he patted Clint’s hands. The archer let him go after a minute more and they continued with their shower. Clint was very clumsy and sloppy in the way he washed, so Loki took charge and helped him. He apologised for it, but the god assured him it was fine.

After they were both clean, they towelled off and hurried back to bed. The kittens meowed and hopped around, trying to find a place to settle, as the two snuggled close facing one another; Clint with his face pressed into Loki’s chest, his arm draped around the god’s waist, and Loki with his around the archer’s neck and he free leg hooked around Clint’s body. The kittens burrowed in next to them under the covers; Ast firmly curled next to Loki’s back and Jareth lay behind Clint’s head, hugging it to his furry little body.

“I love you…” he whispered, his breath hot and wet against Loki’s skin.

The god hummed and played with the back of Clint’s neck; his fingers brushing at Jareth’s soft belly. “I love you,” he replied.

The darkness settled in a corner of him, biding it’s time.

\-------------------------------------------------

Bruce heard something click on the far side of the lab. He looked up from the StarkPad he was doing calculations on and listened. There was another clicking sound followed by scraping.

“Sir,” JARVIS said.

“Yeah?” he asked taking the pen from out of his mouth he’d been chewing on.

“I should inform you that someone is trying to break into the lab.”

Bruce sighed heavily.

“I have encouraged them to abandon the idea on more than one occasion. Should I notify the police and the rest of the house?”

“No, I’ve got this,” he said setting the pad down and hurried to the door. He opened it quickly and stared down at the female kneeling near the keypad.

She looked up at him, screwdriver in between her teeth, a Popsicle stick in one hand and some chewing gum in the other. “Hi,” she said around the tool.

Banner’s already hard glare hardened. He reached down and took the screwdriver from her mouth. “What are you doing?” he asked as patiently as he could.

“Uh…I noticed this key panel had popped off so I was attempting to –”

“Break in,” Banner finish. “Come on,” he sighed holding his hand out. “Give it here.”

“But –”

“ _Please_ don’t make me repeat myself,” he begged, though his tone suggested it was more of a _very_ polite command.

She reluctantly set the Popsicle stick and the wad of gum into his palm.

He dropped them into the waste basket near the door. “You’re lucky I stopped Jarvis from alerting everyone.”

“You did?” she asked shocked.

“I mean, I can’t stop him from telling Tony, but I stopped him from getting you arrested or your ass chewed out by the rest of the team,” he said with a casual shrug and then looked down at her. “I can’t let Jane in the lab right now. I can give her all the tools and materials she needs, but nothing more.”

“Why not?” Darcy asked trying to look into the room.

Banner stood in her line of sight. “Classified,” he said. “Now if I were you, I’d hurry off and just leave it.”

She gave him a face that suggested she hated that idea.

“Seriously,” he said and shut the door.

“Sir, there is a call from Mr. Stark,” JARVIS announced.

“Of course there is,” he sighed dropping his head. “Hit me with it,” he said taking off his glasses.

“BRUCE!” the panicked hiss of a man about to lose his mind echoed around the room.

“It’s fine,” he started and lifted his head to the screen before him. “I’ve dealt with it.”

“What happened?”

“One of Thor’s friends,” he sighed.

“An Asgardian?”

Bruce chuckled and rubbed is face, “No, I guess I should explain and update you on a few things…”

\-------------------------------------------------

Natasha hummed as she sipped her coffee. Thor stood before the stove making eggs and bacon as Jane began whipping up the pancake batter. “This is nice,” she said to Steve.

“Yeah,” he agreed. “The only other person, apart from us and Banner, who cooks is Loki.”

Selvig made a noise from behind his paper. They ignored him. Darcy came into the room with a downcast look upon her face. Her feet dragged slightly and her shoulders were slumped in defeat.

“What’s wrong with you?” Jane asked.

“Dr. Banner took my screwdriver,” she muttered and sat heavily in a seat.

“What a villain,” Natasha agreed.

“He is,” she sighed and rested her chin in her hand.

“Erik, how many pancakes do you want?” Jane asked as she looked in a drawer for a small measuring cup to help portion out the batter.

“How many are you making?” he asked.

“A lot,” the three avengers replied.

“A lot,” Jane said with a slow shrug, a bit confused.

Erik looked at them curiously and then shrugged. “Two or three should be fine.”

“Okay, so that’s…” she looked the box over and then pulled out another bowl. “Do we have more eggs?”

“Yes, there should be another carton in fridge here, or in the extra ones in the storage area,” Natasha answered.

Jane stared at her confused. “Storage area?”

“Tony converted some of the old servant’s rooms on the ground floor into a giant walk-in three-sectioned storage room before he left. It’s between the backdoor and the laundry space,” Steve explained. “Also, he said to expect some people in a few days for maintenance stuff. We’re getting new appliances; Tony said in the email we’d be getting an extra washer and dryer.”

“Uh, great… do you also know if there are more Bisquick boxes?”

“Yes, there is a whole shelving unit dedicated to them.”

“Great, and how many pancakes do you imagine Dr. Banner will eat?”

“At least a box full,” Natasha and Steve said at the same time.

“It depends on how he’s feeling though, I’ve seen him eat less and sometimes more,” Natasha said thinking about it.

“We eat pancakes on weekends regularly,” Steve added.

“Oh,” Jane said and went about going to get what she needed to make more.

“How many are you going to have?” Romanoff asked Rogers.

He shrugged. “Is that a hint for something?” he whispered leaning toward her.

She giggled happily and leaned in for a kiss. “Secrets,” she whispered.

“Cute!” Darcy said aloud without any care if her observing stare or declaration was creepy or not.

Selvig turned the page of his paper a little too loudly and a touch too forcefully.

“Morning!” Clint said entering the room.

Everyone but Selvig gave their greetings.

Loki hesitantly entered behind him.

“Loki!” said Thor in shock upon noticing him. He set his spatula down and went to him. “How…how are you fairing?” he asked hesitantly.

“Well,” he replied and pulled nervously at the sleeves of his long dark mossy pullover-sweater. “Thank you.”

“Have some food,” he said gesturing to the plates on the island he had started piling with eggs and bacon. “Jane is making pancakes.”

Clint leaned in toward Foster and pointed to the bowl. “Did you flavour it?”

“Huh?” she asked.

“Pour a little vanilla in it; you’ll thank me, promise,” he said and opened the cabinet to get their mugs. “Tea, babe?”

“Yes, please,” Loki said and went to take the large plate Thor held out for him. “Oh, we couldn’t – ” he began.

“Take it, please,” Thor said gently and in a tone Loki knew only he and his brother could hear. The others were too busy to pay any attention or try to overhear.

“It’s not official,” he said looking down.

“Unity is key,” Thor reminded, their mother’s voice echoing in their minds.

“If you insist,” he mumbled to himself and then started filling it with bacon and eggs. He grabbed the bottle of syrup from the fridge, some silverware, and went to sit in the spot Natasha was patting at excitedly.

“Hey,” she smiled brightly as he sat next to her.

“Hello,” he said giving her a warm smile.

“Bad headache again?” asked Darcy, who didn’t care if she was being noisy or not.

“Pardon?” he asked confused.

“Thor asked how you were feeling,”

“Uh,” Loki said with wide eyes, unsure as to how he wished to answer that.

“Hurt,” Clint corrected quickly. “Cats were playing, broke the bathroom door, Loki stepped on it. It’s healed really well.”

“Our doors are made of glass,” Loki clarified to help further the half-truth.

“They’ll be fixed in the next few days,” Steve said excitedly. “We’re getting upgrades and new washers and dryers.”

“Yay!” Clint cheered sarcastically and poured himself some coffee. He flavoured it to his liking and then poured the boiling water over the tea bag. “Honey, Honey?” he asked Loki with a goofy smile.

Loki smirked. “No, thank you. Perhaps later.”

He chuckled and brought him his mug. He kissed his head as he set it down before him and took his seat next to him. Loki couldn’t stop the pleased shy smile that spread across his mouth.

“Cute!” Darcy declared as she crunched on her bacon.

“Lo knows he is,” Clint said before anyone else could comment.

Loki covered his face with a hand bashfully. The blush that rose to his cheeks was so fast that it made him a little dizzy. He could feel his ears burning as well and knew they must have been pink.

“Lo?” Natasha asked Clint with a smile as she watched the god react to the name.

“His…pet name for me,” Loki explained as his cheeks darkened a bit more.

“Adorable,” she said and nudged him a bit to show her encouragement and support for the name.

“So you two,” Darcy said pointing at Natasha and Steve with her fork, “You’re doing it, and Tony and Pepper are doing it, and you two,” she said pointing at Clint and Loki, “You two too?”

“Yeah,” Clint answered and smothered his portion of the eggs in syrup.

“How’s that going?”

“Good,” Clint nodded. “Very good for me. You?” he asked Loki.

“No complaints,” Loki grinned down at his food, afraid if he looked at Clint he’d forever stay beet red.

“Better not be,” he muttered and shovelled a giant mouthful in to chew.

“So are you two like dating or do gods not do that thing?”

“They are betrothed!” Thor proclaimed happily.

Clint made a noise and held his hand out, which happened to get in Loki’s way of eating, and hurried to finish chewing. “Technically…not yet,” he corrected and looked at the younger god. Loki nodded, very appreciative of his consideration for the technicality to their situation. “But yeah, pretty much.”

“Are you getting rings? Do gods do rings?”

“Yes,” Loki nodded, “However there is a betrothal gift we must exchange first. Official marriage rings are for the actual union. Not that they are not used as gifts, but they would be worn around the neck or bracelet rather than upon the finger.”

“Cool,” she nodded.

Selvig turned a page of his paper a little too loudly again and cleared his throat. He was ignored by everyone in the room except for Loki, who glanced worriedly at him and then down at his food as he suddenly became self-conscious.

“What are you getting?” Natasha asked trying to get him back to the happy way he had been moments before.

“We haven’t decided,” Clint said. “But we’ve been looking. Well more like Loki has been.”

“I’ve found a few things,” Loki confessed shyly and then sobered a bit. “I thought a broach would suit the union; however, upon further deliberation…I found I had no strong desire to exchange one.”

Thor watched Loki carefully and was a bit surprised upon his revelation.

Loki turned to Clint, “I have actually been looking at all manner of jewellery and I’ve selected several different things.”

“Yeah?” he smiled pleased at him.

“I took all of your concerns into consideration. All things with a hazard of choking or catching on your arrows have a release which prevents such accidents.”

“You’re so thoughtful,” Clint smiled goofily at him and gave him a quick kiss.

“I want to see,” Natasha said being bluntly nosy.

Loki looked at Clint who nodded indicating he would like to see now as well. “Very well,” the god said and made to get up. “I’ll get the tablet.”

“Here,” Natasha said handing hers over. “They’re all linked, so just log out of mine and put in your password.

“Thank you,” he said taking it. He tapped the screen twice and quickly switched into his assigned account. He then opened a saved file marked: ENGAGEMENT.

“Wow, I was not aware you knew how to do all of that…” Clint confessed watching him. “I feel like shit for thinking that now.”

“Don’t,” he begged. “It’s a simple format. This technology is similar to older models once used in Asgard,” Loki shrugged nonchalantly. “Stark asked Thor and I several questions regarding their makeup and processing while he was teaching us how to use his new StarkPads.”

“You all are doing so well with your technology,” said Thor in an admiring manner.

Everyone found that amusing, but Selvig. He remained ominously silent, in his fuming angry manner, behind his paper.

“Anyways,” Loki continued. “Here are my selections.” He handed Clint the tablet.

He started scrolling through the options. Loki had searched for everything from arrows and archery shaped jewellery to serpents, magic symbols, and eternal knots from rings to pendants, to charms to earrings, and even belt buckles. Natasha moved her legs off of Steve’s lap as she sat up and tried to sneak a peek over Loki’s shoulder.

“These are beautiful,” she commented and then pointed at a minimalist golden serpent armband. “Clint.”

“I see it,” he said nodding, a very serious expression upon his face as he studied the photos. “I like it.”

Loki felt pride fill his chest and he smiled very pleased with himself.

“I’m moving the maybes into a folder,” Clint warned as he began dragging files around.

“Me too,” Natasha said and grabbed Steve’s unused tablet and pulled up the log in screen. She handed it to Loki for him to log himself in, which he did quickly.

“What?” Clint barked.

“What?” she asked innocently and made a folder. “Can’t your best lady of honour help in this?”

“No,” Clint said stubbornly with a slight pout.

“I’m doing it anyways,” she said defiantly and started dragging images she liked into her file.

Loki chuckled as they bickered back and forth, even having a sort of tug of war on the screen for the same photo. He ate some more of their eggs and then a piece of crisp bacon.

“Loki, tell her no,” Clint whined after a while.

“Darling,” he sighed and set a gentle hand to his cheek. “Let her pick the ones she likes. Who knows, she may find the –”

Clint made a noise that sounded like a dying animal and turned his face back to the screen unhappily. He pushed their plate toward Loki and laid the tablet down flat before putting his arm down and resting his chin on it as he scrolled and moved the pictures around; a gloomy expression on his features.

“Grow up,” Tasha muttered.

“Bite me,” he snapped.

“Clint,” Loki said playing with the back of his neck. “Please be kind.”

“First generation pancakes are on the griddle,” Jane announced. Everyone cheered, even Selvig, though his was tight and somewhat forced. She did a little curtsy and then held up her hands for silence. “I know, I know; it’s exciting. Sorry for the wait, the range took a bit to heat up. Remember to turn it on first while you’re mixing things to save cooking time.”

“Wise words,” Steve nodded.

Clint found several things he really liked and, as he dragged and dropped them into the file, he knew it was going to be hard to make a final choice. He sighed heavily.

“You do not have to go through them all this minute,” Loki reminded. “I have saved several hundred.”

“Wow,” Darcy whispered with wide eyes. “You could have a new one for every day of your togetherness. I like it.”

Loki chuckled and continued to play with Clint’s hair.

It felt good and made his eyes droop a bit. Two pages further in and he wasn’t really paying attention any longer. That was until he saw it. _It._

He sat up suddenly and jabbed the tablet’s surface hard enough that it enlarged the image on their screens. “That!” he said a little louder than what he had meant to.

“Pardon?” Loki asked.

“That! That’s it.”

“Oh,” Natasha breathed looking at it. “I like it.”

Loki looked down at the image Clint was still pointing to. He realised it was the first necklace he had found and saved in his search. The image was of two winged-serpent-like dragons, one of gold and the other of silver. They were twisted and scrunched up around one another and could be carefully separated to wear individually or kept as a whole. They had simple small tube bails hidden behind their heads, had no arms or legs, and their wings were slightly curved to give them more depth and character. Their mouths were closed and when fitted snuggly together, touched at the mouth and bent to create a very tiny heart between their interlocking bodies.

“Put it in the saves,” Natasha said minimising it so she could continue searching.

“No this is it,” Clint insisted blowing it back up. He frowned as he looked down at the necklaces. They seemed so familiar, as though he’d seen them before. He couldn’t recall ever seeing any such thing like them, and whether or not he had, the fact still remained: “This is it,” he looked up at Loki.

The god gazed at him curiously. “You haven’t seen the rest though. How do you know this is it?”

“I just…I just do.” He shook his head as he searched for a way to explain it all. “I don’t know how, but I just do. I have this…this feeling. I feel as though I’ve seen this before and I…” he looked down at it and exhaled, licking his lips. “When I look at this…I see us. Serpent: you. Wings: me. Gold: you. Silver: me. They fit together perfectly and somehow beautifully in their twisted way, yet alone they are just as strong and graceful.” He looked up at Loki again.

It took a moment before the god nodded. He blinked a few times and then began nodding faster. “Very well,” he said recovering from being speechlessly dazzled by Clint’s explanation. His eyes were so beautiful when he was passionate about something.

“Are you okay with this?” he asked biting his lip.

Loki smiled. “Of course, I chose these; I will be fine with any one you chose.”

“So this is it?” Clint smiled excitedly.

“Yes,” Loki said a bit stunned. He could feel nervous joy bubbling up in him. “Yes this is it.”

“Great, they’re ordered,” Natasha said as she closed the purchasing window.

“What?” Clint barked confused.

“You’re welcome, consider it a wedding gift,” she said moving to lean back in her chair and set her legs back upon Steve’s lap, smug and satisfied. “They’ll be here in a few days. Leather cords with the option for the quick release if they become caught.”

Clint stared at her for a moment. “I love you,” he said.

“I know,” she smiled at him.

“I love you,” Clint said grabbing Loki’s face with his hands and giving him a kiss.

“I love you,” he returned and felt himself blush. He put a hand over his mouth and turned his face away from the others shyly as Clint continued to whisper sweet things to him and pepper his face in kisses.

“Cute!” Darcy announced.

Selvig got up and left the room for several long minutes.

\-------------------------------------------------

Clay stood in the shadows of a nearby jet. He hadn’t meant to be a stalker, but he couldn’t help himself. He watched as the team entered the Bus. May was last, which was unusual, but considering Ward’s mood it was probably due to his impulsive destructive behaviour. He wished she wouldn’t have gotten involved with him. He knew it had to have been for a good cause but…seriously?

He inhaled his cigarette and carefully blew out. “I love you,” he whispered and watched as she disappeared inside. He noted she was carrying an extra bag and knew what was in it. It made him feel like a piece of shit, but he couldn’t let her go unprepared. It was just in case…

No, he had to stop lying to himself. It wasn’t a ‘just in case’; that had been their last anniversary. That had been their last night of passion, their last dinner, last breakfast, last kiss, last embrace…his last glimpse of her living real beautiful face.

“Agent Quatermain?” a male said from behind him.

He turned and looked at the young man from over his sunglasses. “Yeah?”

“Head Councilman Pierce wishes to speak with you before the meeting.”

He nodded and finished off his cigarette before putting it out on the side of the plane. “Rank?” he asked.

“Level six,” he said and pointed to his badge.

“Here,” he said giving him the worthless butt and patted his shoulder as he passed him. “Protect mother earth,” he reminded as he went back inside. He wanted to turn and look at the cockpit from over his shoulder, but he knew May could see him. He had to do for her what he had secretly had her do for him. She’d understand. She was a strong woman, that’s why he loved her so much.

He shook himself as he entered the main building. He couldn’t think about all of this anymore; it would only get in the way. He knocked on Pierce’s door.

“Entre,” he called.

Clay did and saw no one in the room at first. The red and black insignia of a skull with tentacles coming out of its mouth on the back wall cued him into how alone they were. “Hail Hydra,” he said putting his fist in the air.

“Hail Hydra,” Pierce beamed at him as he came out from behind a corner and motioned him forward.

\-------------------------------------------------

Clint sighed as he sat back in his chair. He moaned and patted his belly, shifting in his chair uncomfortably.

“Full, love?” Loki smiled knowingly.

Clint moaned unhappily again and leaned toward the god. “Help me.”

Loki put his arm around him and rubbed his back. “I warned you those last four were going to be too much.”

“Yeah you almost ate as many as Banner,” Darcy pointed out.

Bruce paused mid-bite, becoming very self-conscious of what he was doing and how much he had actually eaten.

Natasha shook her head and quietly whispered to him, “You’re fine, eat.” And he did with a shrug as hunger took over his need to feel embarrassed about his appetite.

“They were good,” Clint moaned again.

“How are the kittens?” Fury asked as he drank his coffee. He was waiting for the next round of pancakes since he’d come too late to eat from the last batch.

“Good,” Loki grinned and answered, for he knew Clint wasn’t going too. He still harboured a strong dislike for the man, and Loki was starting to suspect it went deeper than just the lie of Phil being dead. “Very good. Jareth is still learning to jump and climb.”

“He’s so little,” Natasha gushed.

“Sleeping better?” Nick smiled and ate some eggs.

“Yes,” Loki sighed with a grateful nod. “Much better. They’re learning what they can scratch and what they can’t, as well as the tub is not the same as their litter box.”

“Oh those ‘Terrible Two’ years,” the director sighed to himself shaking his head.

“Indeed,” Loki nodded in agreement.

“Speaking of ‘Terrible Two’s,” Natasha said standing and gathered her and Steve’s plates. “Shouldn’t you be on patrol?” she asked Clint.

“I can patrol from right here,” he sighed tiredly.

“What if we get a call?”

“Then I shall roll my fat ass into battle and the Hulk can set me down, nice and gently, on a ledge or something,”

“I can’t make promises,” Bruce warned. “He does his own thing. You’ll just have to be nice to him and hope for the best.”

“Oh,” Clint said sitting up a bit as he felt the mass of food shift in him. “Oh baby it hurts.”

“Does it?” Loki laughed and then kissed his forehead. “My poor warrior…So full of pancakes,” he said in a sympathetic tone as he gently held Clint’s face and covered it in kisses.

“So full,” he moped and tried stretching a bit. “Oh…” he sighed.

“You won the battle, yet the victory belongs to the food,” Loki said with a smile.

“It can have it, for I still slaughtered them,” Clint declared proudly.

The god chuckled and gave the archer’s cheek a big kiss before letting him go. “Hopefully Jareth will not want to pounce on you,” Loki said taking up their dirty dishes.

“Hope…” Clint sighed as he carefully got up. “Everyone hope for me.”

“Um,” Natasha said going over to him. “Where do you think you’re going?”

“To hope my cat won’t dive bomb my belly when I lay down.”

“You’re on morning duty,” she reminded and handed him a washcloth.

“Natasha,” he whined.

“Morning duty, morning chores. Get to it,” she commanded.

“Boo,” he sighed dejectedly.

“Do not worry,” Thor smiled happily. “I shall help you. Together we shall protect the city and fight grime,” he smiled pleased with himself as he began washing a bowl.

“Great…” he sighed and slumped over to the sink. “Ew, there are a lot here.”

“Yeah, and we get a new dishwasher soon,” Steve muttered happily to himself as he went off to the training room.

“That man should not be so excited for dishwashers and dryers,” Clint said pointing the dish scrubber after the soldier.

“That man comes from an era when humanity didn’t have cell phones, nuclear energy was still a new concept, and a little over fifty-percent of the twenty-five million homes that had electricity wired in them had an electric washer with a power wringer,” Natasha said matter-of-factly.

“Shush,” Clint said pointing the scrubber at her. “Don’t get all history on me. I’m full of pancakes and my spirit animal is a sloth.”

“Mine’s a unicorn,” Darcy said before leaving the room. “I win.”

“It’s not a game,” he called after her.

“Well,” Natasha said thinking about it. “Unicorns are way more badass than sloths.”

“Sloths are cool!” he said defensively.

“Sloths are lazy,” Natasha replied practically.

“They only sleep like twenty hours a day or something. Tell me you wouldn’t do that if you lived such a chill life.”

“Sloths have been known to eat human excrement; they have a whole ecosystem of bugs living within their fur; they defecate once a week; and sometimes they die from starvation because they can’t be bothered to move,” Bruce contributed. “And recent studies have proven that sloths sleep about ten hours a day. Not twenty.”

“Yeah but three-toed sloths have nine cervical vertebrae,” Clint pointed out. “And those bugs living on them help the algae in their fur thrive so they can obtain nutrients from them. Their fur grows in a direction opposite from that of other mammals, and their tongues can protrude from the mouths ten to twelve inches.” He gave a crude smirk then. “Who wouldn’t want a tongue like that?”

Jane made a face and Loki chuckled. Thor had a contemplative look upon his face.

Natasha smirked and then shoved Clint playfully aside so that she could put more dishes into the sink. “Remember love, it’s not the size that counts.”

“Obviously you’ve never had the struggle of someone with a short tongue trying to eat you’re a–”

She covered his mouth quickly. “Yes, I remember all about Christian and that ‘struggle’ you had to tell me about in great lengthy detail.”

“Who’s Christian?” Loki asked a little jealously.

“It was a date that didn’t go so great,” Clint said pulling Natasha’s hand away from his mouth. “His nudes were a lie and he was all flashy transparent tricks and no good dance moves.”

_Nudes?_ Loki frowned.

_Naked pictures people send one another when they’re interested or trying to show their interest in someone._ He explained.

“Oh,” he nodded and kept a thought to himself. “Well if you’re busy, then I shall take the time to meditate and train.”

“Love me,” Clint demanded gently and pursed his lips out.

“Always,” Loki promised and kissed him before leaving.

\-------------------------------------------------

“You okay?” Alisande asked as she entered the cockpit.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” May asked and flipped a switch to sound proof the area from outside unwanted ears.

“I got your harassment request about Ward,” she said shutting the door and sat down. “I can’t take him off the team yet…is that going to be a problem?”

“No, I just need it on record that something was filed,” she said. “Just in case…”

Alisande nodded solemnly. “I’ll talk to him and slap a warning in his face. If he gets testy I’ll just add additional bad things to his file. He’s never been a great team player after all.” She looked at her friend. “Did you get what you were looking for in him?”

“No,” Melinda said shortly. “But then again…I don’t think I ever expected to…I just…” she shook her head. “I haven’t been thinking clearly.”

“I don’t think anyone has. A lot has happened in such a short amount of time. Aliens, Coulson’s death and revival, those idiots breaking a criminal out of our custody, Fury leaving, council members being dropped, whispers of a coupe being planned…” she sighed and rubbed at her face. “It’s not safe anymore…”

“You should go underground soon,” she said softly.

“Not yet…I’ve got you and the kids to look after,” she said leaning back in her seat. “My brother entrusted their safety to me…if anything were to happen to them, especially Skye, my ass is toast.”

“You could take them too,”

Alisande looked at her. “Now I _know_ something is wrong.”

“Nothing is wrong…” she said softly, supressing a sigh.

“If there was…would you tell me?”

May was silent for a while. “Yes,” she finally said.

Alisande sighed and looked out the windows. They were high in the air, fluffy white clouds below them, whipped up like fresh cream. She started tapping her fingers to the tune of an old forties song.

“Something wrong?” May asked.

“Yes…” she mused, seriously worried, and nibbled her bottom lip a bit. “But I don’t know what just yet…”

\-------------------------------------------------

It was a new day and a new set of challenges: the dreaded laundry day. Clint hated doing laundry, but to keep Loki from doing it and potentially stressing himself out, he’d told him to lie down and rest while he did it all.

It had been a few days since he’d started taking the medicine and he seemed to be better, even if it did make him a little nauseous and sleepy during the middle of the day. It was good to see him lying in bed, the kittens playing around him as he read intently from a book. Clint found he didn’t mind it as much, so long as he knew Loki was healthy and content.

He was in the middle of sorting their clean laundry, for folding and hanging, when Loki suddenly shot up from the bed, dropping his book as he hurried and scrambled to the bathroom. He rushed to his aid and watched as the god lifted the toilet lid and began violently puking.

“Okay, okay,” he said and pulled Loki’s hair further back, re-tying it in a messy bun. “It’s okay,” he said rubbing his back.

Loki choked and then vomited harder. His hands gripped the seat and shook. “Clint!” he moaned as his insides twisted and tried pushing their way out of him.

“I’m right here, baby,” he promised. “Tell me what you want.”

“I –” he hacked and then expelled more fluid and food bits.

“I’m calling Banner,” Clint decided. “Jarvis!”

“Dr. Banner has already been informed of the situation and is on his way,” the A.I. said matter-of-factly.

“Thank the nine,” Loki whispered and sucked snot up his sinuses, hacked, and spit it out, not caring how grossly uncultured it was; the taste and smell was unbearable!

“I’ll get you some water,” Clint said getting up.

“No,” Loki groaned. “I can’t fathom drinking anything, please…” he begged and made a disgusting hacking cough that suggested he better brace himself for another round.

There was a knock on the door. “It’s open!” Barton called.

“What’s wrong?” Bruce asked rushing in.

Loki held a finger up, politely gesturing for him to wait a moment, and then vomited. When he was done, he groaned miserably.

“Okay,” Bruce said and opened the medical bag on the sink counter.

Clint scooped the cats out of the way and set them back on the bed. “Stay,” he ordered. It didn’t do a bit of good, but he couldn’t say he hadn’t tried.

“Let’s try this,” Bruce said and shook a bottle of Pepto-Bismol. He poured a plastic capful and held it for the god.

He got a whiff of the smell and gagged. “No,” Loki shook his head. “I can’t.”

“Okay,” Bruce said and set it on the counter. “Clint, would you mind getting a wet washcloth.”

“Yeah,” he said and hurried to make one as Bruce pulled the god’s sweater off. Once it was done, he gave it to Bruce.

“Loki, I’m going to ask you a few questions, okay,” he said as he gave the cloth to the god.

“Okay,” Loki nodded a little and set it against his neck.

He looked horridly sick; much worse than Clint had ever seen him. He couldn’t even keep his eyes opened and his shaking had worsened. It was almost as though he were continuously shivering.

Bruce pulled out a thermometer and put it under Loki’s armpit inside his shirt. “Can you tell me where you are?”

“Middle…autumn…” he panted in a soft voice that sounded as though he were a few seconds away from passing out.

“Okay. Can you tell me what season we are in?” he asked pulling out a blood pressure cuff.

“Loki…” he said and then hacked and puked a bit; the acidic mix just dribbling out of his mouth as he hadn’t the strength to try and direct it anywhere.

“Good. Now, who am I?” he asked hurrying to wipe it up with some toilet paper before it ran too far down his chin and neck, and then check his pulse.

“Midgard…” he moaned and put the cloth to his forehead.

“Okay, one more. How many fingers am I holding up?” he asked holding his hand up as the other pumped the rubber ball to inflate the pressure cuff.

“Autumn,” Loki said looking at them through half lidded eyes.

“Perfect,” he said and looked at his watch as he let the air slowly out. “Okay,” he said pulling it off when it was done. “I’m going to shine a light into your eyes; I need you to look at me unless you have to puke. Okay?”

“Mid…um…” Loki replied with a sluggish nod.

Bruce held the god’s face up to look at him. He shined a light in one, watching as the other pupil expanded as the one being observed stayed the same. He checked the other; it shrank as the other eye stayed the same. He frowned and did it again. The same results. He put the flashlight away and held Loki’s chin. “Are you okay to open your mouth?”

Loki opened his mouth.

“Stick out your tongue,”

Loki did so.

Bruce let his chin go and felt around under his chin and around behind his ears. He pushed gently over Loki’s collarbones and finally at the line under his breasts.

“What day is it?” he asked.

“Tesseract,” Loki replied and then turned and puked into the toilet.

When he finished, Bruce held him back a bit and flushed it. “Clint I need you to watch him while I run and get stuff for an IV,” he said standing.

“What’s wrong?” he asked following him.

“I’ll be back,” he promised and shut the door.

Clint growled frustrated at feeling so powerless and went back to Loki. He helped hold the cloth to his forehead, and even got a second to drape over the back of his neck. “Don’t worry Lo, I’m here,” he promised.

\-------------------------------------------------

Banner knocked on Thor’s room. No answer. He went down into the kitchen, no Thor.

“What’s wrong?” Natasha asked sensing how intense his mood was.

“Loki’s having another attack,” he said in a low voice. “Where is Thor?”

“I don’t know,” she answered and then followed him out into the lobby. “Wait! Is he okay?”

“I’m not sure,” he replied; his face very hard and serious. “Jarvis!” he said going up to a panel near the front door.

“Yes, sir?”

“Please locate Thor,”

“Yes, sir,”

“What can I do?” she asked worried.

“Thor Odinson is currently in Central Park with Darcy Lewis and Jane Foster,”

“Discreetly get me in contact with him, please. It’s an emergency,”

“Yes sir,”

“Bruce,” Natasha said a bit impatiently.

“You can go up and help Clint take care of him,” he said with a dismissive wave. “Private line Jarvis,” he said picking up the thin communicator near the front door. He turned to Natasha realising his gesture and tone from before were rude. He softened his voice as he embarrassedly apologised, “I’m sorry. You could bring him a large glass of water, some crackers, a banana, regular tea, maybe some ginger ale – I don’t know what he’ll eat, but he just needs something to settle his stomach when he stops puking.”

“Right,” Natasha said hurrying back to the kitchen to turn the oven off and gather the things she needed before heading to Loki’s aid.

“Hello?” Thor’s voice called uncertainly.

The button on the panel flashed green and Bruce took a deep breath. “Hello, Thor?”

“Bruce?” he asked with just a touch of confusion.

“I need you to act like nothing is wrong.”

“Yeah, hang on,” he said and then his voice quieted a bit, as though he had covered the mouthpiece with a hand. “Excuse me for a moment ladies,” he said suavely. Bruce waited as he heard Thor breathing for a bit. “I’m alone,” he said softly.

“This thing Loki has; have you ever seen it happen to someone before?” he asked, keeping his voice as calm and collected as possible.

“The darkness?” Thor said confused and Bruce knew he must have been frowning deeply. “It’s been so long…we were still very young when it happened. I don’t remember much of it.”

“What do you remember from it?”

The god was silent for a moment. “What is wrong with my brother?” Thor asked seriously.

“I need you to remain calm and answer my questions; what do you remember from it?”

Thor sighed heavily and fumbled searching for words as he thought about it. “He was rambling. Nothing he said made any sense. He was old. Kind at times and very wise, and at others he’d be in a blood-lust. His eyes would darken, almost going completely black, and he’d refer to himself in the third person. Loki and I weren’t allowed around him. We were kept away. The only times we saw him were when he came to the palace, when he escaped from his cell, and when he was sentenced to banishment and death.”

“Was he ever nauseous?”

“Not that I recall,”

“Disorientated?”

“Often. He never really knew who or where he was most of the time unless he was in one of his coherent states.”

“Did he ever have a fever yet acted as though he were cold?”

“Not that I remember. Bruce what is wrong?”

He was silent for a moment. “Loki’s not feeling well. He’s disorientated, like he was the other night. The only difference is he’s…groggy. Not panicked like before, it’s almost like he’s heavily intoxicated or something, and he…well he’s acting as though he has a fever, but his temperature is lower than normal.”

“I am returning,”

“No, don’t return. You can’t do anything for him.”

“But –”

“Natasha, Clint, and I are taking care of him. I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to alarm you. I just had to be certain which of his symptoms were from the darkness and which weren’t.”

“What should I do?” he asked, desperately worried.

“Calm down first off. If these symptoms aren’t from the darkness, they might be him reacting to the medication. Taking something intravenously or intramuscular, like I’ve given him in the past, effects the body much differently than orally.”

“Is –”

“He’s not hallucinating; he’s just nauseous and disorientated, which are two symptoms of a negative reaction to the medication.”

Thor was silent for a moment. “I trust you Bruce. If you say he is safe in your care, and that these signs are not related to the darkness…I trust you,” it was all he could say about their situation. Bruce knew that they really didn’t have much other choice, but the fact that he had his trust spoke of the seriousness of it all.

Thor sighed heavily.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t –”

“No, I am glad you have contacted me. I am better prepared for when I return to the mansion.”

“Is there anything you know of that could help him get better? Something that our culture doesn’t know or do?”

Thor thought for a moment. “Loki is much better at potions than I ever was. There are no Elder’s in this city, I have already searched. Perhaps when he is feeling better he could tell you a solution of a sort that could help or I could venture out to find a guardian and ask?”

“Let’s wait and see what he has to say first, okay?”

“Okay,” Thor agreed.

“I’m going to check on him. I’ll keep you posted. Is the phone you’re using the one Tony issued you?”

“Yes, I keep it in my pocket when not in use.”

“Good, I’ll have Jarvis update you through texts.”

“Thank you my friend,”

“No problem Thor. Bye,”

“Farewell,”

Bruce hung up the phone and hurried down to the lab to grab a few things before heading back upstairs. He found Loki lying on his side near the toilet. He had his shirt off with a wet cloth pressed to his forehead, one to the back of his neck, and an entire wet towel draped over his upper half. Natasha was rubbing just under the corner of his jaw as Clint rubbed his arm comfortingly.

“He won’t drink,” she explained.

“I figured,” Bruce said and knelt near Loki. “Loki?” The god hummed a little and cracked his eyes a bit. “I’m going to ask you some questions, okay?” He hummed once more. “Can you tell me where you are?”

“Midgard…” he whispered after a moment of silence.

“Can you tell me what season we are in?” Loki was quiet for a while. Bruce reached under the towel and felt his pulse. “Loki?” he gently prompted.

“Midgard…” he replied with a small jerk as though he’d been woken.

“You’re doing well. Just a few more questions; Who am I?”

“Bruce…”

“Very good. Can you turn your face more and look at me?” Loki did so, his eyes only opened a little. “How many fingers am I holding up?” he asked holding his hand up.

“Five,” Loki said reaching for his hand. Bruce took his hand and leaned over him. Natasha moved out of way.

“Good, very good. I’m going to shine a light in your eyes again; can you keep your eyes opened and look directly at me?”

Loki barely nodded and when Bruce checked his eyes; they responded normally, just a little slower than usual. “Okay. One more question. Do you know what day is it?” he asked.

“Evening,” Loki replied closing his eyes.

“Fair enough,” he shrugged. “I don’t honestly know what day it is either.”

“It’s the eleventh,” Natasha offered.

“Eleventh,” Loki whispered.

Bruce smiled at him and then motioned for Natasha to go to his bag. “Now if I ask you to stick a thermometer in your mouth under your tongue, do you think you can do it without puking?” Loki nodded. “Good,” he said and took the packaged thermometer Natasha handed him. He tore the plastic wrapping off and put it in Loki’s mouth. “Just like that.”

Loki didn’t move while it took his temperature. Bruce checked his pulse and then the digital display.

“I’m going to move you now, is that alright?”

“Midgard…” Loki whispered with a nod.

“Come on,” Bruce said and the other two hurried to help him. They left the cloths in the sink and got him settled into bed. “Will you drink something?” Loki shook his head. “If you can’t, I’m going to have to put an IV in you. You’ve lost a lot of fluid and you were already pretty dehydrated.”

Loki moaned and shifted sluggishly on the sheets.

“I know they’re no fun,” Bruce said and put on the pair of gloves Natasha handed him from his bag. He hooked the IV bag on the headboard and set up an area to carry out the procedure.

“Clint…” Loki whimpered pitifully.

“I’m here,” he said crawling to Loki’s other side. “I’m right here, Lo.”

“It hurts,” he whispered.

“I know, but if we give you this stuff it’ll make you better.”

“It’s not quick…” he moaned sadly.

“I know, but after a while you won’t feel it. I promise.”

“Midgard…” he breathed and fell silent as his eyes fluttered closed.

Bruce quickly set up a tourniquet and sterilised a space on Loki’s arm. He flicked the top part of his arm until a nice vein popped up and then inserted the needle leaving the catheter. Natasha had put on an extra set of gloves and took the waste products he handed her, dumping them in the hazard material bag. Bruce gently flushed the line, patched it down, and connected the tubing.

“What do I do now?” Clint asked.

“Something where you’re nearby if he needs you,” Bruce replied and pulled his gloves off. He tossed them in the bag and waited for Natasha to toss hers before he sealed it.

“I don’t understand,” Natasha said as Ást brushed against her side and meowed loudly. “He’s on anti-anxiety pills. I thought only stress caused an attack like this.”

“I don’t think this was a regular attack,” Bruce confessed and pressed his fingers to Loki’s throat to check his pulse again; it was now closer to what he had become accustomed to thinking of as his version of regular.

“He’s had something like this before,” Clint recalled suddenly.

“When?” the other two asked concerned; both upset he never mentioned it before.

“From that dude with the dot on his forehead; the one that stabbed him. Loki had been tired all day, even when we were walking. He was happily ambling along, but he looked exhausted and wasn’t fully…as upbeat as he could have been. We were near some bedrock and I spotted a bird. He was looking at it and then suddenly doubled over nearly sick. I had to carry him to a bench. He took the muscle relaxers and ate some food I bought, and then it was like it’d never happened. I didn’t think anything of it, because I just thought it was him being tired from healing the wound he got. He said it took a lot of energy to heal it, which was why him being so disorientated didn’t bother me as much. I just assumed he was too tired.”

“He did use a lot of energy,” Bruce agreed. “But he’s not hurt now.”

“No, but he was complaining of a bad headache not long after he ate earlier,”

“What did he have?”

“Some cheese and meat with a few crackers,” he said and pointed to the nearly empty plate on the table in the far corner. “I noticed he hadn’t really been eating a lot, so I offered to bring him something. He said he wasn’t hungry, but I insisted he eat. He asked for something small and simple, so since he seemed to be able to eat it the other day I thought I’d bring it up for him. He didn’t really eat a lot, so I told him to just eat as much as he could and relax. He tried reading and then that’s when it happened.”

“What’s he reading?”

Natasha and Clint looked around. She spotted the book on the floor at the foot of the bed and picked it up. She huffed and then showed them the cover, “Othello.”

“Do you know where he was at in it?” Bruce asked Clint.

“No,” he shook his head. “Loki’s reading several things right now; I’ve never felt the need to police anyone about what they read,” he added the last part a little testily.

“He’s at the part,” Natasha said looking through the pages.

“How do you know?” Barton asked.

“Well, there is this dog-eared page and then several pages past it he’s torn a few out.”

“What?” Clint and Banner asked a little shocked.

“Let’s find it,” Bruce suggested.

They looked around for the missing sheets; lifting the covers and pillows carefully around the god. Clint checked under the bed while Natasha searched in the bathroom. Bruce opened the side table drawer and found them. They were crumpled up and slightly torn with a few burn markings. He opened them and nodded. “Yeah…he’s at that part…” he confirmed and handed Clint the pages as he got up.

“But I didn’t hear or see him do this,” he said confused. “We’ve been in the same room for hours. I watched him eat his meal, grab this book from the pile, crawl into bed, and then rush to the bathroom to puke. He didn’t even put the book down; he just sort of sprang up and dropped it on his way.”

Bruce pulled out a large crude looking scanner from his bag. He swiped it over the god and then the side table. He reached for the pages, which Clint gave over, and scanned those as well. He pushed a few buttons. It beeped. “Magic,” he replied handing them back to the archer.

“Pardon?” he asked and sort of snatched them back, growing a bit irritated, hoping that Bruce hadn’t done what he thought he’d just done.

“He used magic. There are traces all over the pages.”

“How could _you_ possibly know that?” Barton snapped.

“I’ve been scanning him for a while now,” he bluntly admitted.

“What?” he barked.

“Tony and I started on the Helicarrier. We’re trying to figure out his connection to the sceptre and the Tesseract. The sceptre is riddled with traces of his magic.”

“How do you know that?” Natasha asked and then glared at him as she realised the only way he could of known. Him not immediately respond responding was a sure indicator. “Is that why the lab is closed off?”

“No,” Bruce quickly said.

“Bruce, how are we supposed to trust one another when –”

“I’m working on the flash drive too,” he snapped and then winced before apologising. “I’m sorry…trust me, if it wasn’t for Tony’s orders I’d love to let you all frolic through it and help me with things, but–”

“I’m calling bullshit; what are you hiding?” Natasha demanded.

“The bogey man,” Clint mocked wiggling his fingers at her in a spooky manner before climbing off the bed.

“Shut up, this is serious,” she sighed, not in the mood to deal with his jokes.

“Of course it’s serious; they’ve been scanning my boyfriend without his consent!”

Loki groaned in his sleep and shifted.

Bruce held up his hands in a peaceful manner and quietly said, “I think it’s best if we continue this someplace else.”

“I’m done having this conversation,” Romanoff said in a tone that suggested she was really anything other than done; but for now, she was.

“Same,” Clint said, a little more with the intention of doing it for Loki’s sake. He rubbed his mouth and held the papers up. “I’m going to find anything else that could trigger something like this.”

“I’ll help you,” Natasha offered.

“No, you have to finish doing whatever you were doing before,” Clint said. “We have to act as though nothing wrong is happening. Darcy already saw too much the other day. If someone asks, I’m the one that got sick and Loki won’t leave my side.”

“But –”

“He’s right,” Bruce said. “Selvig is still being difficult and although Jane’s a little more accepting, she’s just trying to fit in for the sake of not getting kicked out. I don’t think Darcy really is malicious; in fact I believe she’s the only one that believes anything we say about Loki, but she’ll support Jane in whatever she says or does to the end.”

Tasha bit her lips together and nodded. “Okay,” she said holding back worried tears. “Okay,” she whispered holding her hands up in surrender. “For the sake of peace.”

“I’m taking him off the pills for a bit, just to see if that’s also a factor,” Bruce sighed and rubbed his forehead. “I’m going back to the lab. Maybe I can cross these scans with the ones from before and see if there isn’t a difference. If he’s lucid when he wakes, Thor said Loki might know of something potion related that could help. If not, he intends to find a guardian or something, and I think he’s going to do it soon.”

“I’ll ask him,” Clint promised as Bruce left. Jareth pawed annoyed at him. “What?” he asked down at him. The kitten looked grumpily up at him and mewed. “Are you feeling ignored?” he asked sweetly and picked the little one up. “Is daddy ignoring you?”

Jareth mewed excitedly.

“Yeah? Well I’m not now, am I silly? Am I?” he asked and brought the kitten up to his face to cover him with kisses. “No, not now. Not now.” Jareth was so excited he began batting and rubbing against Clint’s face, begging for more love.

“You are disgusting to watch,” Natasha teased as she came over to add a helping hand in showering the little one with adoration.

“Did you hear that, Jer?” he asked the kitten. “She called you disgusting.”

Natasha slapped his arm with a laugh and then felt something brush against her. She looked down and found Ástnæmr rubbing against her. “Hello,” she smiled petting him.

That didn’t seem to be what he was after though for he kept moving away, almost as though he were trying to get her to follow him.

“What is it?” she asked him and then waited.

He meowed and went to Loki. He snuggled up next to the god and looked at her expectedly.

She went over and petted the cat, laying her other hand on Loki’s arm. Ást turned onto his side, stretching out to give her more places to pet him. The god felt closer to his normal temperature already. She brushed his hair back from his face.

“It’s going to be okay,” Clint said.

She knew it was more of a reminder for himself than for her, but she smiled gratefully at him and nodded. “I know.” She gave the cat one final loving pat on the head and went over to Clint. “Will you call me when he wakes?”

Clint nodded. “Of course.”

Natasha left the room without saying another word.

“Something wrong?” Erik said as he leaned against the door to the girl’s room.

“Clint’s not feel well,” she said with a twist to her mouth indicating how much of a bummer it was. “I was hoping he’d be doing better by now, but he’s not.”

“Must be serious for Bruce to have to be involved,” he said, not relenting his suspicious attitude.

“Well, he is our resident physician and Clint has been puking his guts out all morning,”

“First Loki’s foot injury the other day and now Clint’s…sickness…hope problems like this aren’t common,” he said with an air of someone who thinks they know something, when in reality they are just pulling assumptions from out of their ass and are far too stubborn to admit that they have no idea what they’re on about.

Natasha gave him a warm smile. “Well we do fight crime, and most of the time it has knives, bombs, and guns. There are bound to be a few scrapes and bruises now and again.”

“But these aren’t from your hero work,”

“No,” she agreed. “But they are a part of life. People get hurt in accidents: cutting their fingers while chopping onions, burning themselves getting something out of the oven, dropping canned goods on their feet; and then there are unpreventable things, like contracting a cold from not bundling up properly, or dropping something fragile and accidently stepping on a piece of it. That is life. Even the mightiest stomach flu or sickness-bug has to be conquered somehow, and some of us are still human.” Natasha turned away and headed off before he could come up with something else to say that would waste her time. When she was hurrying down the stairs, she sent a text to Clint warning him to lock their door. He replied back his thanks and stated he had done such.

She sighed heavily as she slipped her phone back into her pocket. She hated that she had to be on her guard twenty-four-seven now. It was bad enough outside of the mansion, but inside? Man had she taken the still ease for granted before.

\-------------------------------------------------

Loki swallowed and then coughed. His throat was horridly dry. There was the feel of something being pressed to his lips. He instinctually began drinking the room temperature water. It was the sweetest thing he’d ever drank in his life; so refreshing and wonderful. He licked his lips and sighed when the glass was removed from his mouth.

Something cold and wonderful pressed to his forehead and he moaned.

“Shhh, it’s okay,” Clint’s voice said softly. “You don’t have to wake up if you don’t want too. Just relax…”

_Clint…_ he sighed.

“I’m here,” he promised. The cloth disappeared from Loki’s forehead and then gently ran along his collarbones.

_What happened?_

“You had some sort of reaction to the medicine or something,”

Loki furrowed his brows a bit to indicate how confused he was.

“Just relax. Don’t worry about things now. Rest yourself,”

Loki tried to explain that he was fine and that Clint didn’t have to worry about him, but he couldn’t form the right words and before he knew it, he was floating in nothing once more.

\-------------------------------------------------

“How is he?” Natasha asked as she entered the room with a tray.

“He woke up just a second ago, but he didn’t have enough energy to speak. He fell back to sleep almost instantly,” Clint said getting up to stretch a bit as she set the tray down on their little table.

“He looks better,” she said hopefully and then went to Clint’s side.

“How are things down stairs?”

Natasha sighed and rolled her eyes. “Selvig is convinced you’re ill because of Loki’s magic.”

“Oh my god,” he sighed rolling his eyes as well, highly exasperated.

“I know,” she said holding a hand up to stop him before he could start venting. “Bruce and Fury have put him into his place again. They’ve threatened banning him from the table and then when that didn’t work, from the house to live out in the shed.”

“Problem is he’d probably enjoy that,” he scoffed.

“Probably,” she shrugged, “but he’d get lonely and Jane would feel obligated to join him after a time.”

“Damn loyalty,” he muttered.

She smirked and sat on the bed, gently setting a hand upon one of Loki’s, which rested over his chest. “He’s not as pale or as feverish.”

“Yeah his fever officially broke not long after he got down to the middle of the saline bag. I guess it helped him cool off?” he finished a bit confused and rubbed the back of his neck before ruffling up his hair.

“I understand, it doesn’t make sense, but it does,” she agreed. “His fever wasn’t a normal fever even. It was more of him being under temperature, yet it felt as though he were burning at 106 or higher.”

“I know,” Clint said. “I saw the number at a glance; it was like eighty-something.” He exhaled and whispered, “I was so scared.”

Natasha rose and hugged him. “It’s okay, we helped him in time and we know how to better avoid these attacks.”

“I just have this sense that something…is going to happen,” he barely breathed, too terrified to fully vocalise his fears.

“Sh,” she soothed and rubbed his back as she held him tighter. “It’s okay.” She promised. “This isn’t your fault, and neither is it his. Everything will be okay, it will just take time.”

He let her go and rubbed at the moisture that gathered in his eyes. “You’re right. I’m sorry,” he sniffed. “I just…I’m sorry.”

“We all have moments like this, Clint. Don’t ever be sorry for feeling something,”

He smiled as she used his own words against him. He sighed, this time to relieve some of his stress, and rubbed at his nose.

“How about some food?” she offered and brought him over to the table. “You eat and take a few moments for yourself. Maybe take a bath or shower, read, sleep, or something, and I’ll watch over him.”

He nodded and sat down before the tray. She put the plate she’d made for him in front of him and gave him his utensils. He started eating, not because he was hungry, but because it gave him something to do. He also knew if Loki woke up and saw he hadn’t tried taking care of himself, he’d get fussed at and he didn’t want to cause that sort of stress for the god. No, he _couldn’t_ cause that sort of stress for him. Clint had to try his hardest to keep Loki as stress-free as possible.

He paused mid-bite to take a deep calming breath. He sighed as he chewed the pasta and ground turkey meat chunks smothered in what he knew was Natasha’s homemade delicious red-pasta sauce. He needed to give his mind a break; he was starting to get a headache and the food didn’t taste as great as he knew it should; which had nothing to do with the cook and all to do with him. Clint propped his elbow on the table and rubbed at his forehead as he continued to eat. He only managed half the plate and two-thirds of a garlic bread piece before he silently got up, grabbed a pair of pyjamas, and went into the bathroom. He closed the doors and turned the shower on.

It felt like he was in there forever, but upon inspection of his watch, while he towelled himself down, he found he was actually in there for only eight minutes. He dressed and exited to find Loki sitting up in bed. He had a straw in his mouth and was carefully drinking from a large mug in Natasha’s hands.

“There we go,” she smiled and held the straw as he let it go.

He swallowed, gave a small cough, and then sighed as he settled back. “Thank you,” he whispered and cleared his throat. He looked at Clint and gave him a faint smile.

Clint went to him, lifting Jareth out of the way in order to sit next to him. “Are you alright?” he asked and reached out to touch the god’s face. He hesitated for a moment and wished he hadn’t.

Loki winced at his reaction and nodded. “Yes, much better. Thank you.” He took Clint’s hand and pressed a kiss to it before holding it to his chest. “I am very grateful.”

“It’s nothing,” he promised, putting his other arm around the god and gently pulled him close.

“Have you eaten?”

Clint’s mouth twitched into a grin. “Yeah, just before I took a shower.”

“Good,” Loki sighed and relaxed in his arms as though a huge burden had been taken from him.

Clint pressed his lips to the god’s forehead. He felt almost back to his normal temperature. Natasha set the mug on the side table.

“Do you want to try a few crackers or some tea?” she said.

“Tea for now please,” he whispered. She nodded and went to get him some. While she was out he inspected his IV. “How many of these have I had?”

“One,” Clint answered. “It was on a faster drip, but halfway down the bag your fever broke so Bruce decided to slow it down for a while.”

Loki nodded and swallowed a little. His throat felt as though he’d swallowed glass.

“You’re nearly done, he should be in to check on you in a bit,” Clint commented as he looked at the bag.

They were quiet for a while. The cats meowed and begged for affection; Ást staying forever mindful of Loki’s IV, and even protecting it when Jareth tried playing around with the tubing. “I apologise,” he said as he petted Ástnæmr.

“For?”

“Causing you all so much worry,”

Clint kissed his forehead again. “Don’t be sorry for that,” he begged resting his cheek upon the top of Loki’s head. “We just want you to be safe.”

Loki chuckled a little bitterly. “I would have never imagined the others wanting me safe…not if you would have told me before I came to Midgard and most certainly not after the battle.”

“Well that was then, this is now,” he reasoned. “Things change, people change.”

“Not all people do…not all things do…” he whispered in a tone that suggested he was deep in his mind, recalling something or another that had haunted him for a long time. Clint was about to reply but Loki sighed heavily and shifted down in the bed a bit. “I fear if Natasha does not return soon I’ll have sent her away for nothing,” he muttered, his eyes drooping and fluttering as he fought to stay awake.

“Am I that boring?” Clint joked and looked at him.

Loki smiled and shook his head slowly. “No…never,” he promised and yawned. “I am just too old…”

“Eh, not for me,” he smirked.

“Most definitely for you,” he said opening his eyes and nodding. “Oh Norns! I have probably broken a dozen rules and offended so many people in Asgard by now.”

“Well fuck ‘em,” he said with a shrug. “They aren’t us and I most certainly don’t want them involved in our relationship if they aren’t going to support us.”

Loki’s mouth twitched at the corners in a smile and then fell. “We shall have very few friends on Asgard indeed,” he whispered grimly. “If any at all…”

“Makes parties less expensive,” he said optimistically. “Christmas shopping made easier; less people to fight over who will be god parents and things.”

Loki’s heart clinched for a second. He held a hand there and forced himself to taking in careful short breaths until the pain passed.

“I’m sorry,” Clint said quickly and shifted to look directly at Loki. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“You haven’t,” he promised and winced as the pain struck again. “It’s not you, I swear.”

“Should I call for Bruce?”

Loki jerked again. “Yes, to be safe, yes.”

“Jarvis?”

“Dr. Banner has already been notified,” JARVIS replied. “I was instructed to inform him at the first sign of any changes to Loki’s person.”

“Thank you,” both of them replied.

Loki shifted on the bed to sit up more. He swore under his breath and gasped as he clutched at his chest.

Natasha hurried in without knocking and over to Loki. “Here,” she smiled and offered him the mug. He reached out to take it, but his hand was shaking too much. She continued to hold the mug for him, yet let him direct it to his mouth for a small gulp. He winced and pushed it away a bit. She set it next to the mug of broth she had been feeding him earlier. “Bruce is on his way up,” she said straightening the blankets over Loki’s legs. Loki exhaled and groaned as the pain in his chest intensified. “Is this a new thing?” she asked in hopes to distract him from the pain.

He nodded quickly. “Yes,” he gasped and started struggling to breathe.

There was a sharp knock on the door and Bruce entered. “It’s me,” he promised and closed and locked the door behind him. He went to Loki and set his bag at the foot of the bed. “Let’s see…” he sighed and looked the saline bag over and then Loki’s arm. “Any discomfort here?” he asked gently pushing at the area around the taped site.

Loki shook his head. “My – my chest,” he gasped.

Bruce nodded and pulled out a stethoscope. He pressed it to his chest and listen. He gave a start and yanked it back. He frowned down at the device and then held it to Natasha’s chest. He listened, frowning the entire time, and then wiped the chestpiece on the bottom of his shirt and tried it on Loki’s chest again.

“What is it?” Clint asked holding back his overwhelming panic.

Bruce shook his head. “I’ve just never been able to hear…it,” he answered and moved it around to try and listen on another part of the god’s chest.

“ _It_?” the other two asked, even though they pretty much knew who he was referring too.

He nodded and then found a space the voices weren’t as loud and looked at his watch as he counted. “Your heart rate is normal,” he replied. “Your lungs sound good too…I think it’s just the darkness,” he replied and pulled out a plastic thermometer. “Under your tongue,” he instructed, and Loki complied. “When that is done I’ll ask you a few questions,” he said looking through his bag for a syringe and the container of liquid.

“I thought you said he wasn’t getting that anymore?” Clint asked.

“I’m not. This is a very low dose of a commonly used barbiturate. I’ve reduced it down to a quarter of its strength. I just want to help give him a little edge in the fight he’s having internally,” he explained.

Clint glanced at Loki. The god closed his eyes and turned his face away quickly. The thermometer went off. Bruce checked it and set it on the side table. He used the injection port to slowly administer the drug.

“This will take several minutes to kick in, so…Do you know where you are?”

“Clint and mine’s room, Mr. Stark’s family home, New York, Midgard,” Loki replied.

“Okay. Do you know what season we are in?”

“Autumn,”

“Good. Do you know who I am?”

“Dr. Bruce Banner,”

“And her,” he said nodding toward Natasha.

“Natasha Romanoff,”

“And him?” he indicated toward Clint.

“Clinton Barton,”

“Very good. How many fingers am I holding up?” he asked holding three fingers up.

“Three,”

“Great,” he smiled and put the syringe into a plastic hazardous disposable bag. “Now I’m going to shine a light into your eyes. You might not like it, but I need you to look at me. Okay?”

Loki nodded and relaxed a little as the voices began to lessen a bit.

Bruce shone the tiny light into one of Loki’s eyes and then the other. He brought the light away and slowly drew it back toward one side of his face and then repeated the action with the other eye. Loki’s pupils reacted in the way he expected normal ones too. “Are you feeling nauseous still?” he asked gently pushing and feeling under his chin.

“No,” Loki replied. “Just very sore and exhausted.”

“How is your stress level?” he inquired as he felt around behind his ears.

Loki kept his mouth shut for a moment. “Has Thor gone to seek out an Elder yet?” he asked softly.

Bruce shook his head. “He wanted to wait until you woke. He said that you were skilled in medicine and might know of something to help reduce the chances of this sort of thing from happening again. I don’t think oral Ativan is going to work. If you had this sort of reaction from such a low dose then raising it will only make it worse. I also don’t want to make you have to shoot yourself up every few hours, so if there are easier ways to help you, then tell us what you need and we’ll get it.”

Loki nodded his head slowly and looked down at his knees. “I don’t have everything, but I can make it with substitutes. There is a draft which I could brew using tea leaves,”

“Fresh?” Natasha asked.

“No,” he shook his head. “Used. I need the leaves to have already been activated. Some motherwort, roses, passion flower, sweet woodruff, basil, chamomile – any herbs that would promote calming or anti-depressant effects; most of them are in the mint family. Sage, lavender… if I can’t make a weakened syrup or powder from it, I’ll make a tincture, but that will take a few weeks,” he muttered thinking.

“What type of alcohol do you need for it?”

“Anything strong enough to induce intoxication in a sort amount of time, yet nothing overly distilled. I am not aware of what you all have here.”

“Is brandy good?”

“Yes,” he nodded. “I’ll need glass jars with good sealing lids; cheesecloth; a mortar and pestle; a set of scales; dark coloured bottles to store it once it is complete; labels to keep track of time–”

“Alright,” Natasha said holding up a hand to stop him once she noticed how worked up he was getting over trying to figure out all he would need. “I’ll do some research, bring you a list and you tell me if I have everything. If you find you’re missing something once everything is here, I’ll get it. Don’t worry about it too much, we’ll get you everything,” she promised.

He nodded and took a deep breath. “I appreciate all of your help.”

“We really have nothing else to do other than wait around for a new bad guy to pop up or S.H.I.E.L.D. to attack us,” Bruce said with an awkward smile, and then quickly added, “Not that we wouldn’t help even if we were very busy. We would, just –”

Loki held up a hand. “I understand and I still am very grateful.”

Bruce nodded. “Okay, that should be setting in, so I’ll leave you to rest. Natasha will get you a list to look over and all you’ll need, and I’ll go give Thor the news.”

“I’ll just sit here for your viewing entertainment and pleasure,” Clint smiled at him with a wink.

Loki grinned and took his hand, giving it a thankful and loving squeeze.

“If you can, drink some more broth. Don’t over work yourself though, just take things in stride,” Bruce instructed as he packed up his stuff. “When the drip is done, and it looks like it has about another hour, you can take it out. If you don’t feel comfortable doing that just give me a call, it’s no trouble.”

“I’ll be back as soon as I’ve finished,” Natasha promised. “Unless you need me before,” she added. Loki shook his head. “Okay, later then,” she smiled and hurried off.

“Rest,” Bruce reminded, in a very paternal and well-meaning manner, before he too took his leave.

Clint looked at Loki. “Rest,” he said pointing his finger at him and made a goofy face.

Loki chuckled and pet Ást as the cat came to snuggle in his lap. “As you command,” he said and settled back. “I really can’t argue with so many people insisting, as well as these medicines coursing through my system…” he yawned a bit.

Clint rose and went to their tiny bookshelf; he selected a large book and returned to bed, this time wiggling under the covers next to him.

“What are you doing?” Loki asked.

“Reading,” he replied and poked his tongue out the side of his mouth as he searched the children’s book for a story. “Wanna hear about the _Emperor’s New Clothes_?” he asked with a smile when he found it.

Loki chuckled and nodded. “Yes,” he replied and closed his tired eyes. “Were they lovely?”

“Oh just wait…” he chuckled and began to read aloud to the god. Loki stayed awake through the story, laughing at how ridiculous it was, yet couldn’t keep himself awake to hear the ending of the _Three Billy Goat’s Gruff_.

\-------------------------------------------------

“Here,” Natasha said as she set the last object on the table. “I know it’s not what you’re used to, but it works the same,” she promised and plugged the cord to the electronic scale into the wall. “I think that’s everything,” she smiled at him. “Sorry it took me so long to get everything.”

“I asked for a great many things; most of which I would assume are a bit difficult to obtain on such short notice.” He nodded looking everything over as he pulled the blanket around his shoulders up more and then curiously inspected the scale. “Saves time trying to mess with the weights,” he grinned, “or guessing a number for the more modern ones on Asgard.”

“Do you need help with anything?” she asked.

“If you desire to help. Having a second set of hands may make the process go faster,” he reasoned.

“Tell me what I can do,” she said holding her hands out a little and wiggled her fingers a tiny bit to indicate she was ready.

“We should make the tincture first, did Banner obtain the alcohol?”

“Yes,” she said and looked into the box she’d brought upstairs. “We got vodka instead of brandy. It’s flavourless and about seventy-proof. I read online that it works just the same if not better.”

Loki took the bottle she offered and opened the cap. He sniffed it and then took a small taste. He nodded his head. “This should do,” he concluded and returned the cap before setting it on the table. “I want to make something I can take daily, yet only use the herbs that, when taken in great dosage, won’t result in harm to myself. I think the strongest ingredients for the tincture, and the milder ones for teas. Until the tincture is complete though I should make a syrup or something that will work just the same,” he muttered to himself. “If you wouldn’t mind passing me the passion flowers,” he said holding out a hand.

Natasha gave them over and together they began weighting, cutting, and crushing the ingredients. She was honestly excited to see Loki work; from the way Thor had been going on when he was helping her look for things online, Loki’s spellcasting and herblore skills surpassed even the greatest of Asgard’s teachers. He had said Loki’s powers where alike to almost that of an elder Midgardian guardian or even one of the ancient priests from a civilisation long lost and barely remembered by history tales.

It was interesting to hear such things, for if he did hold such a power surely their battle in New York wouldn’t have lasted as long and wouldn’t have been to their success. She knew Loki held back when it came to many things: how he moved, fought, and even with the little use of magic she’d seen him perform; there had always been a cautiousness to him, and she felt as though was starting to understand why. If Loki did have the level of power as his brother claimed, and the darkness was a parasite he’d picked up in the void, then if such a creature had access to it, none of them would stand a chance.

It sort of made her skin crawl just thinking about it. She glanced at him and then returned to looking at her work. No, she knew Loki was smarter than that. He’d probably done something to prevent the foreign entity from tapping into his powers. At what cost, she didn’t know, but perhaps that was why he was suffering now. Why he was so fearful…was he losing control of that block? She didn’t want to ask him right that moment, but she knew soon she would have too; very soon.

When the three mason jars were loosely filled almost two-thirds the way with the herbs, Loki poured the vodka in. He made sure to fill them enough that it covered the dried and fresh herbs, yet left enough room for swelling. They covered them with lids and labelled them with the date and time. “I’ll keep them in a bottom drawer in the closet,” he reasoned and took them to stash away. “In three weeks, they’ll be done.”

“Until then?”

“Until then I’ll use the extinguished tea bags and create a simple syrup.” He sighed and rubbed at his forehead as he closed the door. “I may need a nap before the next phase.”

“Don’t push yourself,” she reminded gently. “I can even make it, just tell me how.”

He smiled gratefully at her. “How many bags have been saved since yesterday?”

“Four,”

He nodded. “It’s a start. I can only use bags from people who…” he paused and searched for the right words. “Everything I use to make these syrups with now must be handled whilst thinking of calming positive things. The energies stored inside the objects could temper the magic.”

“The half of them are from myself; the other two are from Bruce. I promise we both weren’t thinking anything awful.”

Loki nodded and ran his fingers through his hair in a manner that showed he was trying to calm himself down a bit as he thought, worried over the whole situation.

“Need a walk?” she asked knowingly.

“I’m…” he swallowed the rest of the sentence down.

“Selvig is busy for the day with Bruce,” Natasha further tempted in hopes to help ease his anxieties about running into the man.

Loki gave her a small smile. “Then an adventure to the kitchen doesn’t sound so bad, huh?” he offered out his arm.

“Sounds wonderful,” she replied taking it and they left. Once there, she showed him were they were planning to keep the used bags. “Is this alright?” she asked.

“Perfect,” he nodded, looking the foggy glass spice jar over. He ran his fingers along the sides and lines that made up it’s hexagonal shape and flicked the metal clamp up before closing it again to test the seal.

“Tea?” she asked setting the kettle on.

Loki smirked, “Why not?” He opened the jar again and looked inside. There were two completely dried out, one nearly dried out, and one fresh. It was ginger and lemon, must have been from Bruce. From the feel of it, it had been made within the past hour.

He set it down and turned to her. “May I ask you something?”

“Yes?” she said getting them mugs.

“Has Clinton seemed…a bit odd to you?”

She looked at him a little confused. “Odd?”

“Yes…I,” he paused and licked his lips as he searched for a way to explain it all. “He’s been very careful with me, and I know it’s mainly due to me recovering from the other day’s events, but he’s…his spirit seems…he’s not…” he gave a small sigh as he brought his hands together and laced his fingers loosely before himself to help try and explain.

“Connecting?” she offered when she noticed his searching expression.

“Yes,” he sighed relieved she understood him. “I feel he’s not connecting with me. I don’t know if it is something I have done wrong or from the stress of having to deal with me –”

“Okay first off, Clint doesn’t ‘deal’ with you, he needs and loves you. Second, it is not anything that is your fault.” She took his hands as she stood before him to make sure she had his undivided attention. “I promise you he’s not doing it to punish you or even intentionally; he’s being a little distant to give you some breathing room. You’ve been through a lot already this month, and yeah he’s probably being a little more distant than necessary, but that’s Clint. He’s clueless. He means well, but he’s stupid.”

Loki chuckled. “Yes, like a child drawing you a lovely picture all over your important notes or the walls.” They both laughed. He sighed, a little relieved, and nodded. “I only wish…I know I’m not glass, and I feel as though I’ve become that to him.”

“It’ll pass, I promise. I think what he’s doing is waiting until you’ve found a means to help settle and keep the darkness at bay, before trying to ease back into the way things were before. He’s intentionally not being a distraction for once.”

Loki laughed aloud surprised. “Ha! Better savour the time I have to actually do my work in peace then, huh?”

“Indeed,” she agreed. The kettle went off and she hurried to it. “What flavour?” she asked.

Loki looked at the bags: two black teas, a green, and the herbal one. “Green,” he replied. “Just plain green.”

She nodded and pulled out the appropriate bag. She also pulled a cinnamon apple spice bag for herself and added the steaming water. She gave Loki his mug, which he thanked her for and held between his hands, worrying his lip and staring at the floor seriously. “Still torturing yourself over it?” she asked knowingly.

“I just…” he sighed. “I know we don’t need a physical relationship to be satisfied…but, I just… _itch_ to be held in a manner that doesn’t suggest I’m fragile. I want to be held or kissed again where I don’t feel as though I’m ill or a child. Does that make any sort of sense?”

“Yes,” she nodded. “So maybe make the first move?”

Loki sighed again and shook his head. “I’ve tried, last night. He just kissed my forehead sweetly and started reading from that stupid book. I enjoy stories, and they are wonderful for children and when one is not feeling well, but I’d much rather do something else.”

Natasha laughed and turned the stove off. “Yeah, he’s a gentleman when you least want it and a little too freaky-freaky when you need him not to be.”

Loki laughed as well. “Indeed.” He took a careful sip of his tea and then traced a finger down the jar’s side for a moment before picking it up. “Shall we?” he asked. She nodded and they headed back up stairs to finish their work.

Once there, Loki took two empty glass jars and set them beside one another. He set one of each black tea bag into a jar, and then the one green in one, leaving the string tails to drape out the top and along the side. He took the herbal one and held it under his nose. He inhaled slowly and closed his eyes.

Ginger…lemongrass…peppermint…and something else. He sniffed it again. Licorice root. But there was something else. He sniffed it once more. “Pepper,” he whispered opening his eyes. He leaned over the table and ripped the bag open onto the scale. The mushy messy plopped down onto the smooth surface. The front beeped and read over 6 grams. He spread it out a bit and divided it in half before scooping some into his hand. The scale read a little more than half of the whole, so he scooped a bit more out, before dropping his handful into a small cut bit of the cheese cloth. He tied it securely with a piece of twine and put it into one jar. He repeated the same process and put it into the other jar. When his tea was finished seeping he put his bag into the jar without a green tea in it.

“These will all work together?” she asked curiously.

“Yes, they have a common base: tea leaves; the flowers and spices used to make them are mostly within the same family or cousin species; and it is a small enough amount that it will do no harm or cause myself any injury to consume the syrup along with the tincture or cups of the same tea.” He glanced at her. “One must always be mindful of the herbs they use. Over usage of some can cause great harm to their bodies.”

Natasha made a humming sound that indicated she understood and was impressed by him. “Do you need mine?”

He shook his head. “This should do for now, but I thank you for offering.”

“Not at all,”

She sat and watched as he poured honey over the tea bags. He cut an orange into thin slices and dropped them into each jar, and then spooned some cinnamon and lavender petals into the mix before pouring a little more honey and stirred the concoction a bit. He repeated measuring the four ingredients and stirring the jars until they were full. He secured the lids tightly on them and sat with a tired sigh.

“In a few hours, this will be set and ready to use. They should help alleviate stress and help with…” he stopped and swallowed a little before he drank some of his tea. It was the perfect temperature now and helped ease his worries.

“Clint’s mother used to make cough syrup like this,” she said looking the beautiful jars over. “At least I think so. It’s like something he’s described before.”

“Indeed, these can be used in such a manner. The main difference between their uses will come when and if they are infused with magic.”

She looked at him. “Are you going to do that?”

Loki shook his head with a grim face. “I can’t. My own magic will have no effect in helping to keep the darkness at bay.”

That surprised her a bit, but she kept it hidden. “Then you’ll ask Thor to find someone?”

Loki shook his head slowly. “I have someone in mind that will help.” He gave her a tiny smile. “They just won’t know it, which is for the better.”

She chuckled; still overly curious and a bit confused over his words, yet kept her questions back. Jareth pawed at her leg with tiny meows for attention. She picked him up and set him in her lap to pet.

Loki rose and went to the bed. He felt horridly tired in a manner he hadn’t experienced in a very long time. “Forgive me,” he said as he sat back. Ást leapt onto the bed and snuggled in his lap

“You are fine. I can leave if you need some time to yourself,” she offered.

He was silent for a moment before shaking his head. “I do not wish to be alone just yet.” He looked at her, “That is…if you don’t mind?”

Natasha smiled and stood; Jareth safely held in one hand and her tea in in the other. She went to the bed and sat next to him. “Not at all,” she promised putting the kitten down. “Hey,” she said picking at the bedding a little. “These are new.”

“Clinton and I ordered them a while ago. They came in yesterday,” he smiled at the lovely black and minty sage green bedding. The top and bottom sections were all black with a thick band of the green with two veins simply crossing and curling together. There were outlines of leaves on every end of a curl. The next panels were thick stripes: black, green, black, and then the very centre stripe: a smaller version of the veined panels.

“It is good to have soft dark sheets again,” he sighed contently and lay down, running his hands over them.

“The comforter is so soft too!” she said running her hand along the warm material.

“Yes, it came with two covers, two smaller pillows, and this round one. The sheets came with cases for the other two pillows, so we have enough to make it presentable.”

“Steven and I should look into a new one,” she mused and continued to run her hand along it. She loved it. “I’m going to talk to him about it tonight,” she decided.

Loki held the feather dancer before the cats as he lay near the edge of the bed. Ást leapt down and began batting at it while Jareth climbed onto Loki’s back and started grooming his hair.

“They really are cute,” Natasha said as she watched them.

“Yes,” he chuckled with a fond smile.

“I’m really happy you both got them,” she said grabbing one of the pillows and adjusted it under her head. “Even if I wasn’t thrilled or being nice the day you announced it.”

“It is alright,” he said. “It was a huge step and I wasn’t even sure I wanted to take it. Even when Clint announced it, I still wasn’t completely positive I wanted it.”

“What made you change your mind?”

He shrugged. “It just sort of set in…I am planning on marrying this man. I want to spend the rest of my life with him. I need to let go of some things and let our lives begin or else I’ll forever exist in the past and in fear. We’ll never have a chance to start and live how we desire.”

They were silent for a while. Jareth eventually became jealous at the fact he wasn’t playing with the feathered toy as well, so he wiggled and pawed at Loki until the god helped him to the ground and waved it in his face. Jareth went nuts and started batting and biting at it, sometimes jumping on Ást to get to it.

“Was he cool in a past life?” she asked suddenly and surprised herself. She hadn’t meant to ask that aloud, but…

Loki paused for a moment and then looked at her. “What?”

“Clint,” she shrugged, going with it. There was no use taking it back now; besides, she really wanted to know. “Was he cool in a past life or is he about the same stubborn, annoying, yet still loveable, person?”

“I –” Loki began, fear suddenly rising inside of him.

She held up a hand and sat up a bit realising what she’d done. “Don’t stress about it, you honestly don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want too…but if you want or need too…whenever…I’m here, and I won’t tell,” she promised.

Loki looked down at the kittens. They had lost interest and were licking themselves. He shook the dancer and they instantly began jumping and swatting at it excitedly. “How did you know?” he asked softly.

“When we started working things out, I asked you, and your answer was very practiced. You said you’ve been saying it more than half of your life and that you’d been waiting for him for that long.” Natasha shrugged. “In order to wait for someone you’d had to have met them before to have known you’d see them again.”

Loki nodded slowly. “I hadn’t realised I was being that obvious.”

“Apart from that comment, you’re not really. It’s just I’m very observant. Clint would have pieced it together quickly, but he’s too busy gushing over your relationship and cats. He’ll figure it out…if he hasn’t already.”

“I do believe he has. He’s made several comments and I’ve thankfully steered away from them.”

“Then either he’s not going to say anything for a while or he’s waiting for you to tell him.”

He looked at her. “Was it just that conversation that gave it away?”

“No, sometimes when Thor is around he watches you. He has this look on his face like he’s thrilled you are happy, but there is something that’s waiting; as if to comfort you. Like he’s had to watch you suffer something emotionally-shattering, and then he’ll look at Clint and there is hope there and a familiarity. Something that suggests he believes in him and is relying on him to do something huge. You also look at Clint as though you’re not here.”

“How do you mean?”

“Like you’re far away, in another time and another place. You become younger around him too; the sharpness around your personality softens, you become vulnerable as a someone in their youth would. Without him you’re harder, like you’re covered in armour. You’re more cautious. You also are both _way_ to familiar with one another at times. Steve said the other day he forgets sometimes that we fought against you this past spring. I forget that we’ve only really known you for a few months, because the way you and Clint are…” she shook her head for a moment to get her thoughts in order. “Steve says it feels as though you’ve both been together for years and that it’s just natural.”

Loki was silent for several minutes as he debated on how much he should tell her. He pulled the feathers up higher and Ást looked confused. He meowed at Loki as though he’d been betrayed. Jareth just wiggled his butt and jumped; making a valiant effort yet still did not succeeding in even remotely coming close to touching the toy.

“I didn’t mean to upset you,” she apologised. “I just…I know you’ve been under a lot of stress, and I know the medicine was helping, but only just. I figured carrying around something that big for that long would become very stressful and heavy after a while.”

“I want to talk about it,” he said quietly. “But I feel as though…” he shook his head and felt the pain of it seep into him again. “Sometimes I feel as though no matter how hard I try…it’ll never be the same…it’ll never be what it was, and that terrifies me, because I remember it being _so_ good,” he said, his voice breaking a bit. He set the toy down and covered his face with his hands as he forced himself not to cry. He was too old for such childish things.

Natasha wrapped her arms tightly around him. “It’s okay,” she promised and rubbed his back as he turned to bury his face into a pillow. “I’m sorry Loki. I didn’t realise –”

“I want to so badly…” he sniffed and forced back a sob. “I just…not yet…” He swallowed back his grief and whispered, “…not yet…”

The kittens hurried up onto the bed and snuggled onto him and Natasha. Ást tried pushing his way in between Loki and the pillow. He meowed loudly, trying to get Loki’s attention. Loki set his hand upon his little head and petted him. Jareth head butted his back as he tried hopping up onto him.

Natasha felt awful, but at the same time she felt as though she understood him better. She continued to play with his hair and rub his back as she watched him re-stitch the wound back up. He’d carried it for so long…but she had wounds like that too. Things she’d never told anyone, and she guarded those scars carefully. What was she thinking trying to do that to Loki?

“I’m sorry,” she said again. “I was ungraceful and unfair in how I handled that.”

“No,” he shook his head and sniffed. “It’s…it is good to know that when I’m ready…I have someone I can speak to about it.” He gave her a smile. She smiled back at him and then retrieved some tissues for him.

“So,” she said lying back on the bed and picked up the remote. “Movie or crappy day-time TV?”

“Either is fine,” he smiled at her and moved so he was beside her. The kittens raced and tumbled around them as they played.

“I guess we should forgo movies,” she mused. “With it being Ladies’ Night and all, we’ll be watching enough of those.”

“I do not think I will attend tonight,” Loki said as he watched Jareth play with his fingers. He gently wiggled them and the kitten batted, held, and a chewed on a few of them.

“No?” Tasha frowned. “Why not?”

“I believe it will make the other two uncomfortable,”

“ _I’ll_ be uncomfortable. I don’t know Darcy at all, and Jane and Thor seem to have worked things out and are talking again. He’s going to be there and they’ll talk and be awkward the whole time. If you’re up here, Clint will be here and Banner’s got night-watch with Steve until ten.”

“If I go Selvig will go. It’ll only spoil the evening,”

“Don’t let him get to you,” she begged. “Seriously, he’s stubborn and old, but we’ve already told them if it comes to picking sides we’re on yours. He might be on S.H.I.E.L.D.’s most wanted, but he’s of little use to them. They already know Jane’s here and they know all of the things she was working on. What information could they possibly get out of him?”

“The Tesseract,” Loki glared bitterly. “He knows far too much about Her.”

“Well it’s far out of reach now. I highly doubt they’ll go knocking on Asgard’s door asking to borrow a cup of Tesseract any time soon.”

“There are other ways in and out of the realms,” Loki said looking at her. “Anyone directly connected to the Tesseract would know of them. Maybe not off of the top of their head, but if someone dug deep enough…they could get whatever they wanted out of them.”

Natasha considered him for a moment. “Fury and his men dug pretty deep with you.”

Loki laughed bitterly sad. “No, they believe they did such. Perhaps that was excessive for a mortal, yet I have endured far worse.”

She was silent.

“Have I upset you?” he asked worried.

“No, I’m just thinking of how much we all have in common. It’s a bit staggering.”

“In what way?”

“Well, everyone pretty much has daddy issues, in some form or another; most of us are orphans or lost our parents under other circumstances; many have been experimented on or manipulated into being something other than what we were supposed to be; and we all agree pizza is one of the greatest foods on the planet.”

“Oh pizza,” Loki sighed longingly. Jareth went to pounce on his chest; however Ástnæmr was faster and landed to claim his spot, growling a little at the younger cat in warning. Jareth raised a timid, yet playful paw indicating he wanted to be friends and goof around, but Ást wasn’t in the mood. Loki nudged Ást to show he needed to change his attitude. The cat looked at him with unamused eyes and began licking his paws.

“Is that what’s on tonight’s menu?” she smiled and petted Jareth.

“Extra cheese and pepperoni,” Loki said and began rubbing behind Ást’s ears.

“And spinach,” she hummed.

“Mushrooms too,”

“Buttery crispy garlic breadsticks and hazelnut chocolate spread,”

Loki laughed and gently tapped her arm in reprimand, “Stop I’m drooling!”

“You have to come,” she said, her tone suggested that was her bargain.

Loki sighed heavily. “Very well. I shall attend for the pizza and chocolate dipped breadsticks.”

She smiled at him. “What movie should we start with tonight?”

“Banner suggested we stream Stark’s Netflix account to the television and watch period dramas or the comedy specials on there.”

“Oh that sounds wonderful,”

“Indeed,”

“I made a list for Thor and Clint to pick up a few things for us. I found a pumpkin facial mask I think you’ll enjoy.”

“Clint will attempt to eat it,” he chuckled.

“I’ll beat him with a spoon,” she declared with a fond smile. “Apart from pizza, what else should we have as snacks?”

“Chocolate,” he nodded.

“Done; I even specified which shop they should visit to obtain the best chocolate.”

“Perfect,”

“Doritos are on there, should we do popcorn?”

“Yes,” Loki decided. “Wine?”

“Oh yes, that’ll go great with the pizza.” She flipped to a day-time station where the host of a show was announcing who the father of a tiny adorable baby was.

“That’s terrible,” Loki frowned when the results came in that he wasn’t the father. “If they could get a hold of Asgardian guards for this show, I promise they’d make millions.”

Natasha chuckled.

“How about a taco style dipping sauce,” Loki suggested when the show cut to commercials.

“Yes,” she agreed enthusiastically. “Extra guac!”

“Of course,” he concurred. “How else would one eat it?”

Natasha laughed and snuggled into Loki’s side. “Don’t tell Clint, but you’re my new best friend.”

Loki laughed as well and promised he wouldn’t.

“Oh! Before I forget,” she said getting up and hurrying out the door. She came back in a flash with an extra-large shopping bag. “I got this for you as well.”

“You didn’t have to,” he said sitting up.

“No, no,” she waved her hand and returned to the bed. “I’ve been meaning to do this anyways. I was going to take you, but you haven’t been feeling well, so I thought this might be a nice surprise and a good pick-me-up.” She gave him the bag. “Tada!”

He opened it and found several dozen skeins of yarn as well as a few pairs of wooden needles. “Oh Natasha!” he sighed completely stunned.

“I hope you like the colours,” she said. “I figured they were more your style choice.

“I love them,” he said moving them around so he could see all of the colours: there were lots of blacks, greys, greens, purples, a few blues, and several wine red skeins in various weights and soft textures. “Thank you,” he said gratefully to her.

She shrugged and snuggled back up next to him. “I know it’s not all you need, but it’s a start.”

Loki looked the needles over and then felt one of the black skeins to judge how it would come out. “I think I’ll start something now,” he smirked and began casting on the double point ones. He knitted only a small swatch and then brought Ást up into his lap, setting the swatch against his body in several places as he considered the gauge for his piece. “Bruce’s cousin is coming, isn’t she?”

“Yes,” Natasha nodded.

Loki was thoughtfully quiet for a few moments as he unravelled the swatch and then began casting on. “I guess I could make it tonight,” he said, just a touch of curiosity in his tone. Natasha beamed at him and they continued to discuss and fine tune the details for their night, before giving in to the trashy TV and becoming highly engrossed in it.


	53. Chapter 53

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone. Sorry, life threw some serious obstacles at me recently. I had to help friends move in and out of their places (two separate whole weekends of fun), a few job interviews that went seriously awful (theatre groups can be full of awful people who say terrible things to strangers to make themselves feel better, and there should be rules against such), and then my sister had emergency surgery earlier this week because her port tore a hole where it was rubbing between her ribs and clavicle, plus it was super infected. We're having to write a letter to the head of the hospital about the ER, because we sat in it for almost 8 hours on Sunday, and they sent her home after just giving her an IV saying she was fine. When we brought her in after she started fainting and wouldn't respond coherently they found she had a severe infection, the tear, and just all around not good. It's been rough.
> 
> But! I finished the chapter! YAY! And it's extra long. I also had to manually put spaces in it again, because the thing isn't working with direct copy and paste. Blah! So if something looks wrong or doesn't sound / flow right, just let me know and I'll fix it! You all are wonderful! I hope you all have fantastic weekends! I don't own Marvel things, I just make them do stuff for fun, occasionally unintentionally predict things that become cannon later on, and for character study stuff. Please enjoy!

\----------------------53----------------------

“Hey everyone,” Bruce said coming into the kitchen. “I’d like you all to meet my cousin, Jennifer,” he said as he gently pulled a mousy looking girl further into the room. She was in a knee length black and dark grey plaid skirt with a large black knitted sweater, thick dark grey wool stockings and Mary Jane shoes. Her brown hair was pulled back into a semi-professional looking bun and she clutched her large old leather purse to her chest in such a way it suggested her life depended upon it. She looked horridly nervous and Loki’s sympathy went out to her.  
  
“Hi,” almost everyone in the room said brightly.  
  
“Greetings,” she said giving a small jerky shy wave. She quickly pushed her thick dark brown glasses back up her nose and went back to death gripping her purse.  
  
“Jennifer is in town visiting right now. She’s got a few more cases to finish and then she’ll be moving in with us,” Bruce said and continued to lead her into the room. It was obvious he was pushing her more than she was following, but no one commented on it.  
  
“S.H.I.E.L.D. after you too?” Darcy asked making a face that said she knew the other woman’s struggles.  
  
“Uh, yes, to some degree,” she mumbled looking at the floor.  
  
“Tony has graciously offered to keep her here in case they try to use her as a way to get to me,” Bruce explained and then smiled at her. “She’s really smart and funny and I know you’ll all love her in no time.”  
  
“Well I don’t doubt that,” Steve said with a smile and offered his hand.  
  
Jennifer’s eyes widened as she stood frozen before him.  
  
Bruce took one of his cousin’s hands and put it in Steven’s hand. “Steven, Jennifer. Jennifer, Steven.”  
  
Her eyes seemed to widen even more.  
  
“Nice to meet you,” Steve said with a warm smile.  
  
“Natasha,” said assassin smiled as she came over to introduce herself. Bruce set Jennifer’s hand in Natasha’s.  
  
“It’s okay, dear, breathe,” he said gently to his cousin.  
  
“I forgot my inhaler,” she whispered back and set a hand to her chest before she gave a small gasp.  
  
Bruce sighed pulling a spare inhaler from his pocket and gave it to her. She quickly turned and used it. He rubbed her back and explained to the others, “Anxiety and acute asthma.”  
  
“Yeah I remember the first time I touched Captain America,” Darcy said stretching. “Wait until he carries you somewhere, it’s pretty amazing.”  
  
Jennifer took another hit of her inhaler.  
  
“Well we’re not doing a whole lot tonight. Just girl’s evening,” Natasha explained. “We’re deciding movies and waiting for Clint and Thor to return with the groceries. Tonight we are making pumpkin facials,” she said excitedly, hoping to help reassure Jennifer that she was welcome to join them.  
  
“Sounds great,” Jennifer said tightly as she turned around and swallowed. She cleared her throat and took a deep breath. “Excuse me,” she said and cleared her throat again. “I apologise –”  
  
“Jen, seriously it’s fine,” Bruce sighed. “Now this is Darcy,” he said pointing to the others in the room.  
  
“Hey!” Darcy smiled waving.  
  
“Phil,”  
  
“Hello,” he nodded his head politely.  
  
“Dr. Selvig,”  
  
He grunted with a small glare in her direction. She shrank back a bit, but Bruce quickly moved on.  
  
“Jane,”  
  
“Hello,” she smiled with a wave as she emptied a bag of popcorn into a giant bowl.  
  
“And this is Loki,”  
  
The god came up and offered his hand. Jennifer took it a little hesitantly and the god bowed low and brushed his lips against the back of her hand. “Pleasure, milady,” he said humbly.  
  
Jennifer took another hit of her inhaler. “Pleasure,” she replied in a tight small gasp.  
  
“So, Steve and I are going on patrol, and you can get into your jammies and hang with the ladies and Loki,” Bruce said trying to get her to focus on something other than not being able to breathe well.  
  
“Okay,” she said in a small voice.  
  
“Here,” Natasha said moving forward to help her out. “I’ll take you to Bruce’s room and you can get changed there. I have to pick out my pjs for tonight too.”  
  
“Okay,” Jennifer said again.  
  
“Her bag is in the hall near the stairs,” Bruce said to Natasha.  
  
“Perfect; on our way up,” she smiled and took Jennifer’s arm. “Let’s hurry! We have to get a good spot or we can’t see the TV very well.” And with that she hurried the poor girl out.  
  
“She has a good heart,” Loki said to Bruce.  
  
Selvig very loudly made a snorting huffing noise.  
  
“Look dude!” Darcy said in a highly annoyed and very loud tone as she held up her hand toward Selvig. “We _all_ know you don’t like Loki, so give it up! You’re pissing me and everyone else off!”  
  
Erik rose and jerked an accusatory finger at her. “He’s cursed you too!” he snapped before heading off to his room. Loki flinched at his words and looked away.  
  
Jane sighed. “Well good,” she nodded, trying to stay optimistic. “More popcorn and space for us, right?”  
  
“Here, here,” Darcy cheered and stood up. “Speaking of popcorn, where is the chocolate?”  
  
Loki laughed. “Clint and Thor have gone to fetch some things. Natasha and I have also ordered several pizzas.”  
  
“Is there a ‘cheese lovers’ one?” Darcy asked.  
  
“There is an extra cheesy one, yes,” Loki nodded. “We have ordered almost every pizza that everyone responded for in the email.”  
  
“Almost?” Phil asked.  
  
Loki rolled his eyes. “Clint’s was voted too inappropriate and unrealistic.”  
  
“Was it something involving sex?” Darcy whispered to him.  
  
Loki shook his head and went back to cabinet to get all of the large glasses out. “I’m not encouraging it.”  
  
“I’m getting my pyjamas on,” Jane announced suddenly become uncomfortable.  
  
“Me too,” Darcy said following her eagerly.  
  
“How about you?” Steve asked.  
  
Phil shrugged. “I’m still debating if I’ll attend or not. There is supposed to be a special about manatees on PBS.”  
  
“Manatees!!!!” Clint cheered as he entered the kitchen, arms full of bags with stuff in them.  
  
“YEEEEEES!” Thor roared in agreement, getting caught up in the energy and excitement.  
  
“Hey,” Bruce said getting their attention. “My cousin Jennifer is here. She’s kind of shy, please behave.”  
  
“Behave?” Clint asked offended.  
  
“Yes,” Loki agreed as he started pulling things out of the plastic and cloth bags they set on the counter. “Please, Clinton.”  
  
He sighed heavily. “Fine,” he said dramatically and started helping unpack their spoils.  
  
“Thank you,” Bruce said and turned just in time to find his cousin and Natasha return. “Okay,” he smiled and went up to her. “I’ll be back before midnight,” he kissed her forehead. “I know you’ll be fine, it’s okay everyone here is pretty much just as awkward as you are, they’re just used to being awkward around each other, and you will too –”  
  
“Okay Robby,” she sighed pushing him a little away, embarrassed by his mothering tone. “I get it. Thanks.”  
  
“No problem,” he smiled and they hugged really quickly before Steve came up next to him and they headed out to patrol.  
  
“Are you sure you didn’t want to put your bag down?” Natasha asked. “It looks kind of heavy.”  
  
“I’m fine, thanks,” Jennifer replied and tugged a little on her night gown. It was long and dark grey with sheep all over it. It came to just above her ankles, and under that were black plain pyjama bottoms. Loki could also tell she still wore her bra; which he found curious since he found the other women tore theirs off at the first opportunity. He remembered always wanting to rip a corset or a nursing support garment off at the first chance he could. He reminded himself she was shy and probably remain so around them for a while; he couldn’t expect her to jump into the fray with gusto as Darcy had.  
  
“Friend!” Thor said loudly, causing the girl to jump a bit. Loki slapped a hand to his own face with a heavy sigh. The thunder god went up to her and offered her his hand. Her hand shook as she held hers out. Thor took it, bowed, and kissed it. “Welcome! Greetings! Are you well fair maiden?”  
  
“I may be if my heart stops trying to beat from my chest in shock,” she whispered and pulled out her inhaler again.  
  
“Are you ill?” he asked concerned.  
  
“She uses it because she has asthma,” Natasha explained kindly to Thor.  
  
“Asman? What is it?” he asked confused.  
  
“Jennifer, this is Thor, Loki’s older brother,” Romanoff explained.  
  
“He’s kind of a giant idiot,” Loki muttered.  
  
“Hey!” said Thor upset.  
  
“Do not miss assume, he is loyal and kind,” Loki corrected, Thor’s face showed his pride swelling up as he considered his words.  
  
“But dumb,” Clint clarified bluntly. Thor’s smile fell and he glared at the archer.  
  
“Let’s go find a seat,” Natasha said and steered the girl toward the living space.  
  
Thor went to consult Loki on the inhaler matter. “Is Asman lethal?”  
  
“It’s a condition,” he began as he tried remembering their history lessons. “ _Asthma_ is something involving the lungs. The airways become inflamed and close up, I do believe.”  
  
“Oh,” he said. “I am sorry her lungs and her suffer so.”  
  
“As do I, so take this as a lesson and have a care for your volume. Treat her as you would a baby or a young animal. Gentle voices, gentle slow actions, no startling.”  
  
Thor nodded, “Tiny delicate things. Got it.” He took the bowl of popcorn and went to the living area.  
  
Natasha had set Jennifer up in a chair in the corner near the couch. She was clutching her leather bag in her lap, still very visibly tense as she looked around the room.  
  
Thor set the bowl down in the middle of the coffee table. “I apologise,” he said in a whisper.  
  
Jennifer stared at him with wide confused eyes.  
  
“For earlier,” he said and pointing to the door and then to his chest. “I did not mean to inflame your chest.”  
  
Jennifer stared at Thor for another moment before she started laughing. It was low and tiny and then it turned into a loud cackle that abruptly stopped when she snorted. “Sorry,” she said embarrassed and covered her mouth.  
  
“It is fine,” Thor smiled. “I enjoy your laugh. Would you care for something to drink?”  
  
“Water,” she asked in a small voice and swallowed nervously. “Water, please, thank you.”  
  
Thor nodded and entered the kitchen. Natasha was next to the island speaking with Loki in hushed tones.  
  
“What?” Clint said butting in.  
  
Natasha put her hand over his face and pushed him back a bit. Loki shook his head ‘no’. She shrugged. “Okay, start getting drinks,” she ordered at the archer.  
  
“Hey now, I thought this was lady’s night?” he said upset.  
  
“Yes, and I’ve appointed you and Thor to be our personal butlers.”  
  
“Why not Loki?”  
  
“Have you pushed a baby out?” she asked in a tone that suggested she didn’t appreciate having her authority tested.  
  
“No, but neither have any of you girls,” he protested and flinched as though he regretted making such a statement before her.  
  
“But we have the option,” Natasha pointed out. She looked tense and restrained, as though she were about to add something yet couldn’t, and Clint’s face screamed that he had heard something painful that he didn’t wish to comment on. He hurried to the stove and put the kettle on.  
  
“Actually dear,” Loki said and licked his fingers to remove the salt and residue from the pretzels he’d just been eating. “I was hoping you wouldn’t mind rushing upstairs and getting a bottle?”  
  
“Yeah, I can do that. Nat?”  
  
“Steven and I hide ours the same way you both do. Closet corner, it’s the top left bottle. Amber coloured, not the dark green.”  
  
“Okay,” Clint said and hurried off.  
  
“Thor would you mind –”  
  
“Jennifer would like a glass of water,” he said knowing what he was about to be asked.  
  
“Thanks,” she smiled and went to the cups on the counter. She filled one of them and then handed it to him. “Would you mind?”  
  
“Not at all,” he grinned and took it to the young woman in the next room.  
  
Darcy and Jane were there now, dressed in their snuggly pyjamas; the first stretching her arms out, the latter quietly trying to have a conversation with Banner’s cousin. Thor approached them.  
  
“Here you are,” he said holding out the glass.  
  
“Thank you,” Jennifer said taking it. She took several large gulps and then leaned forward and set it upon a coaster on the coffee table.  
  
“What would you both care to drink?” Thor asked in a manner that was both cheery and suave.  
  
“I’ll take a root beer,” Darcy said and fixed her cut-off beaten up Queen T-shirt to lay hanging off the other shoulder.  
  
“A beer for me please,” Jane said.  
  
“We have a few different types,” Thor frowned trying to remember them.  
  
“Any is fine,” Jane said. “The goal is not to be sophisticated, but just to get drunk and pathetically cry over romantic movies,” she admitted her plan, her face suggesting she could have worded it better.  
  
“I shall find something to suit the evening,” he promised and left.  
  
“Man when’s the pizza going to be here?” Darcy grumbled and flopped onto the couch.  
  
“Hopefully soon,” Jane agreed and slouched back in her chair.  
  
“So Jennifer,” Darcy asked and leaned toward the woman. “How long have you known Dr. Banner?”  
  
“Um…well my whole life,” she said, still a little tense. The laughter she had spontaneously burst out in front of Thor had made her a little calmer, but she wasn’t yet fully comfortable. She wished Robert hadn’t left her alone right away.  
  
“Is being awkward and shy a family trait?”  
  
Jennifer opened her mouth and then considered that question for a moment. “I think it’s just the way we grew up. Y’know? My dad was a cop, his was an atomic physicist, and both of our mothers were stay-at-home ladies. We grew up in a rough part of town, despite our family incomes, and we weren’t popular in school. I think it’s just we took after books more than hopscotch or people who liked playing tag. Robby always had a hard time talking to others. His dad wasn’t a very…well he still isn’t a very…kind man,” she finished and drank some of her water.  
  
“That’s a shame,” she said and then stretched again. “Dad’s are dicks.”  
  
“They can be,” Jennifer agreed.  
  
“No, trust me, all dad’s are dicks,” Darcy said a little more firmly.  
  
“Yeah they are,” Clint said entering and set two bottles of wine down.  
  
“Well when I asked for root beer I didn’t think I’d be getting this!” she exclaimed and sat up to examine the bottle. “Santa Margherita Merlot?” she mumbled curiously and pulled the cork out to sniff the inside. “Oh…nice. Smells like my perfume,” she said and held the bottle to Jennifer, offering if she wanted a sniff; to which she began to politely refuse, but then thought better as her curiosity over took her.  
  
“What kind of perfume is that?” Clint asked as he unstopped the second bottle.  
  
“Something I got from a Five Below. It’s like cherry vanilla floral spray.”  
  
“That’s not perfume,” he said. “That’s body spray.”  
  
“Hey!” Darcy said angrily. “If I say it’s perfume, it’s perfume.”  
  
“Clint, stop antagonising the ladies,” said Loki entering with several empty glasses in his hands. He set them on the coffee table.  
  
“I wasn’t,”  
  
“Were too!” Darcy protested.  
  
Loki covered Clint’s opened mouth with a hand. “Please, just for tonight,” he begged and kissed his cheek before he left the room again.  
  
Clint twisted up his mouth and then sullenly apologised. “I’m sorry for discrediting your perfume.”  
  
“I shall consider your forgiveness,” Darcy said rather regally.  
  
Clint turned and left with low grumbles.  
  
“This smells delicious,” Jennifer said and then handled the bottle to Jane.  
  
“Oh, it does,” she agreed and looked the name over. “I wonder where they got it.”  
  
“A store probably,” Darcy shrugged.  
  
Jane gave her a flat ‘No-shit-Sherlock’ look.  
  
“Okay,” Natasha said coming in, Thor right behind her with the two requested drinks. “Whenever you all want, and if you want, I’ve made up a pumpkin facial and Loki has wiped up a hair treatment. We’ll be starting the movie when everyone is settled in.”  
  
“I want my hair did!” Darcy said excitedly rising. She pointed to a coaster. “For my drink,” she told Thor.  
  
Jane stood as well and set the bottle back where Clint had first placed it. “Might as well,” she sighed. She gestured to the table. “I don’t care where you set mine,” she told Thor.  
  
He nodded and put hers within reach of her seat and Darcy’s where she had requested. “Lady Walters?”  
  
“Just Jennifer,” she corrected and hesitantly rose. “I…um…I suppose.”  
  
“Okay,” Natasha said and led the way back to the kitchen.  
  
“I probably should have left my bag,” Jennifer whispered to herself.  
  
“Nah,” Romanoff said with a casual wave of her hand. “You’re fine.”  
  
“Stay still,” Loki snipped, still rather lovingly, to Clint as he slathered his head in some white creamy gloop1. He was sitting with his back to him on a stool.  
  
“It’s cold,” he whined, not really complaining because it bothered him, but just because he knew it rattled the god’s nerves.  
  
“Your body will warm it up, but I can’t miss a spot.” He then laughed and added a little bit more to Clint’s head.  
  
“What?” Clint asked with a small pout.  
  
“Nothing, you’re adorable,” Loki whispered. He slicked the archer’s hair back and then stepped back, holding his hands up and out of the way. “There,” he said.  
  
Clint rose from the stool he had been sitting on and turned, giving the god a quick kiss and stepped out of the way. Natasha went over to him and opened up a small plastic shower cap. He bent down a bit and she put it over his head, using a towel to wipe the excess mayonnaise that had dropped onto his neck.  
  
“Next,” Loki smiled.  
  
“Me!” Darcy said eagerly and sat down.  
  
Loki began coating her hair.  
  
“Do I have to do the facial?” Clint asked.  
  
“Yes,” Natasha said.  
  
“Do I?” Darcy asked and then giggled as the feel of Loki’s fingers running through her hair tickled her.  
  
“No,”  
  
“That’s not fair Natasha,” Clint whined.  
  
“How old are you?” she asked holding his chin firmly and then let it go and pushed him toward another stool. “Sit,” she ordered.  
  
He sighed heavily and sat down. “You just enjoy me suffering.”  
  
“Amen,” she said and started smoothing the orange mess over his face.  
  
“Don’t worry,” Darcy whispered to Jen with a wink. “I’m getting a facial; I was just helping her tease him.”  
  
Jennifer’s mouth twitched a little and she realised Robby had been right, they were pretty laidback and fun to be around.  
  
Loki finished Darcy’s hair and twisted it up into a bun at the back of her head. “There, try not to move too much and it should stick until Natasha can put the cap on,” he advised.  
  
“Roger that,” she said and carefully got up.  
  
Natasha finished spreading Clint’s face in the orange sticky mixture with a large soft brush and hurried to help Darcy cover her head.  
  
“Don’t eat it,” Natasha warned him from over her shoulder.  
  
Clint sighed heavily and got up.  
  
“It smells good,” Thor said trying to help improve his mood.  
  
Jennifer covered her mouth and tried hard not to laugh at the way Clint looked, miserably annoyed, at the thunder god.  
  
“So what is this stuff?” Darcy asked gesturing to her head.  
  
“Mayonnaise,” Natasha answered.  
  
“What?” she gasped. “My head is not a sandwich.”  
  
“No, but it’ll be an even more beautiful cascade of healthy and flawless looking chocolate curls soon,” Loki complimented.  
  
Darcy tutted and shook her finger in his direction. “Watch it sir. Flattery will get you places in my book; especially with that accent.”  
  
“My mother always said, ‘the truth will take you a great many interesting and gorgeous places’,” he smiled with a wicked wink at her.  
  
“Damn, too smooth,” she muttered and closed her mouth and eyes as Natasha started putting the facial on her.  


\-------------------------------------------------

  
Fifteen minutes later, they were settling in the living room. Clint poured Natasha and Loki’s wines into their chosen cups and then sat on the couch. He quickly got up and gestured for Loki to take the spot he’d just been in.  
  
“Honestly Clint, I’m fine on the floor,” Loki pretested.  
  
“Nope,” he insisted and gently guided Loki to the spot. “Sit, please.”  
  
Loki smirked at him as he sat. Clint handed him his glass of wine. “Thank you darling.”  
  
“No problem love,” he bent to kiss him. They had to be careful not to accidently eat the other’s facial, which was an adventure and some laughs to not only watch but to achieve.  
  
“Okay,” Natasha said snuggling up to Loki and started pushing buttons on the remote.  
  
“Jane,” Darcy said patting the spot next to her. “Come sit closer, there’s space enough for you.”  
  
“No it’d be too crowded,” she insisted.  
  
“Not at all,” Loki said and scooted over more. Natasha and Darcy followed and the spot widened enough to fit two more.  
  
“Yeah, come on, you too Jen,” Darcy said excitedly. “We can all fit on the couch.”  
  
“Oh no, I couldn’t,” Jennifer insisted. “My hips are far too wide.”  
  
“Nothing wrong with wide hips,” Thor proclaimed and sat in the seat nearest the door. “Sign of strength and fertility. Very sexy.”  
  
“Hear that?” whispered Darcy as she nudged Jane as she sat next to her.  
  
She gave her friend a flat glare that screamed for her to shut up. Darcy just laughed.  
  
“So what is everyone in the mood for?” Natasha asked.  
  
Everyone said their opinions. Darcy was looking for something romantic; Jennifer said she didn’t mind; Thor suggested adventure; Loki and Jane said comedy; Clint wanted a kid’s movie.  
  
Natasha selected _Ever After_ in hopes to appease the adult’s tastes and they started their night.  


\-------------------------------------------------

  
“Where are the kittens?” Darcy asked as the credits to the movie rolled.  
  
Loki sniffled and dabbed at his eyes, “Upstairs in the bedroom.”  
  
“They’re still pretty skittish,” Clint said. “That’s why we haven’t brought them out yet.”  
  
“Oh man,” she sighed disappointed.  
  
“Try again next week,”  
  
“Next week is Thanksgiving,” she pointed out.  
  
“Try again next week,” he said again as if he hadn’t had to repeat himself.  
  
Loki tapped his arm with a foot to indicate he was being rude. Clint glanced at him apologetically.  
  
“So what did you think of the movie?” Jane asked Thor as they ambled to the door, stretching their legs.  
  
The thunder god sniffed and rubbed at one of his eyes. “Very good. Very nicely done.” He sniffed and rubbed the other trying to make his tears not obvious. “I loved the ending.”  
  
Darcy came over and nudged Jane’s back, winking as she giggled. Jane turned her face away and wished she still had the pumpkin mask on her face to cover her burning cheeks.  
  
“What shall we watch next?” Natasha said tossing her tissue across the room into the trash bin. She looked at Jennifer. “Any ideas?”  
  
“Um,” she said becoming nervous again. “What is everyone interested in?”  
  
A chorus of suggestions sprang up. Natasha held up her hand for silence. “It’s whatever you want,” she said to her.  
  
Jennifer took a steady breath as she tried thinking of something. “Well…Robby always said you can’t go wrong with a Disney movie?”  
  
“Perfect,” Darcy beamed.  
  
“What is a Dizzy movie?” Thor asked.  
  
“Disney,” Darcy corrected.  
  
“Generally an animated film meant primarily for children, yet can be enjoyed by all ages,” Jennifer explained.  
  
“ _Lion King_ is my favourite,” Darcy confessed.  
  
“That’s Robby’s too,” Jennifer admitted. “He and I used to fight all of the time because of it. Mine has always been _Cinderella_ , but we just watched a version of that story, so I’ll pick something else.”  
  
“We can watch it,” Natasha reassured.  
  
“I’m fine,” she promised. “I actually watched it last night. I practically carry the DVD around with me all the time.”  
  
“What’s your favourite Disney movie?” Darcy asked Jane.  
  
She shrugged thinking about it. “ _The Fox and the Hound_.”  
  
“That movie is too sad,”  
  
“What about _The Little Mermaid_?” Jennifer offered. “It’s just the right amount of everything.”  
  
Everyone voiced their agreement. Before they watched it though, they had to rinse their hair out. They had paused halfway through _Ever After_ to rinse their faces and put on a leave-on homemade moisturiser Loki had whipped up, as well as stuffed their faces with pizza, when it finally arrived. Darcy had declared it the most beautiful thing she’d ever seen and Clint agreed that it tasted just as great as sex.  
  
They took turns waiting in line, chowing down on their snack food, getting more drinks, and laughing. Jennifer felt right at home and was honestly excited to move in. When it was her turn to stick her head under the faucet she gave a small shout as the water hit her.  
  
“Too hot?” Loki asked.  
  
“Nope, it’s perfect; just surprised me,” she admitted and enjoyed the feel of his fingers massaging her scalp.  
  
“I wish I could marry pizza and Ghirardelli chocolate,” Darcy said as she set a chocolate square onto her slice of pizza and took a bite. “Oh perfect,” she said with her mouthful and moaned. “Better than sex.”  
  
“I don’t know,” Jane said raising a brow doubtfully. She froze when she realised what she’d just said aloud.  
  
“AH!” Darcy laughed and pointed at her. “Your eyes are the size of baseballs!”  
  
Jane covered her face with her hands. “Oh god!”  
  
“I have always found food to help increase the after-effects of sexual intercourse,” Thor said, not understanding why his innocent and honest comment sparked embarrassed and amused titters and giggles from Darcy, Jane, and Jennifer.  
  
“I feel that is Volstagg’s influence rubbing off on you,” Loki said over his shoulder.  
  
“Perhaps,” he pondered on it for a moment. “Fandral swears only wine will heighten a man’s sensual intensity.”  
  
“Could you please repeat the words: ‘sensual’ and ‘intensity’?” Darcy struggled to ask between giggles. Jane nudged her and they both broke down into a fit laughter. Jennifer tried very hard to keep hers under control in case she snorted again.  
  
“Sensual intensity,” Thor repeated. They laughed harder. Thor frowned at them confused.  
  
“They’re asking you because the way you say those words turn them on,” Clint clarified.  
  
“Nah-uh!” Darcy denied.  
  
“Yeah-huh!” Clint said back. “I know because I make Loki do it all of the time.”  
  
“He does,” Loki agreed as he finished up Jennifer’s hair.  
  
“What was it you said the other day?”  
  
“‘Dear would you please hand me the remote?’” he said wrapping her hair in a towel.  
  
Clint shivered. “Oh say the word ‘remote’ again?” he asked as he came over to get his hair washed.  
  
Loki leaned in and whispered it in his ear. Clint shivered again and then bent over the sink. Loki knew better so he made the water a little cooler in case the archer decided to over-enjoy the wash.  
  
“So what’s the craziest sex you’ve ever had?” Darcy asked Thor. Jane hit her arm and gave her a look, which she shrugged off.  
  
“Craziest?” Thor pondered on it. “The Battle of A–”  
  
“Person not event,” Loki quickly cut in.  
  
“Whoa! Now I have to know what happened at The Battle of Ah!” Darcy demanded.  
  
“No you don’t,” Loki said and gave a hard look at Thor, silently telling him he will not repeat the events.  
  
“Uh, person?” Thor said thinking, not hearing anything that had come before. “Olga Ónardóttir” he concluded.  
  
“Who was she?” Darcy asked.  
  
“A lord’s daughter,” he shrugged unconcerned with recalling any further details about her.  
  
“Do you get that sort of company from them often?” she pressed curiously.  
  
“I’m a prince of Asgard,” he said as though that answer should be obvious. Jane hurried to stand in line and have her hair taken care of; her face showing she was trying to hide how his confession made her feel.  
  
“So that makes it okay for you to sleep with all the virgins?”  
  
Thor and Loki both started laughing loudly.  
  
“Virgins!” Thor said slapping a hand on the table and nearly fell off the stool he was sitting on. “That is _most_ humorous!”  
  
“Why is that so funny?” she asked a little offended.  
  
“Virginity on Asgard is very different than here,” Loki began explaining. “It is a symbol of sorts and when it comes to sex, never taken literally. In fact one of the practices of marriage among the Vanir and Aesir is that both partners of the union undergo a ritual ‘cleansing’ that ultimately makes them ‘virginal’ to one another. To be a virgin to something, in Asgard, is to be new to, uneducated, or unskilled in certain ways. For marriage purposes, it’s to be made whole once more to start a new journey with someone.”  
  
“So it’s not like a first time sex only card?” Jennifer asked highly interested.  
  
Loki and Thor both exchanged a confused look. “Why would it be?” Thor asked.  
  
“So like having sex for the first time isn’t something special or big on Asgard?” Darcy asked.  
  
“It is to some,” Thor answered. “The Vanir consider it the last rite of passage into man or womanhood.”  
  
“The Vanir are very spiritual and have several things they must do before they prove they are of age to care for themselves and old enough to engage in such activities,” Loki further clarified.  
  
“Wait, so before this goes further, what’s the difference between Vanir and the other?” Jennifer asked.  
  
“Aesir are mainly warriors, smiths, lumber masters and very hands-on physically involved when it comes to their ways of life. Everything is a war to be won and only victory is acceptable.” Loki said.  
  
“No!” Thor said becoming defensive. “The Aesir are a very –”  
  
“They are also very proud and stubborn creatures,” he finished with a smile. Thor shut his mouth, unwilling to give in and prove his brother correct.  
  
“And the ‘v’ one?” Darcy asked.  
  
“The Vanir are more earth and, as I said before, spiritually concerned. They prefer to practice magic arts, healing, scholarly careers, and are also more accepting of other cultures. Many are warriors as well, just as many Aesir are healers, but not enough to be considered a…” he paused and searched for the word.  
  
“Stereotype,” Thor offered in a slightly grumpy manner, still a little offended at being called stubborn.  
  
“Yes,” Loki nodded and set a towel over Clint’s shoulders as he sent him away from the sink.  
  
“So the Aesir think sex to be a conquest?” Jennifer asked curiously.  
  
Thor laughed and then sobered up after receiving a disapproving look from his brother and Jane. “Uh,” he cleared his throat and guiltily looked away from her gaze. “No, not…no. It is just a thing two people do; sometimes for pleasure and sometimes for procreation, or both.”  
  
“But always aim for pleasure,” Clint muttered.  
  
“Ends often with procreation…both on occasion,” Loki said and warmed up the water before welcoming Jane to step up to the sink.  
  
Natasha laughed. “Clint should know better, he’s had a scare a time or two.”  
  
“Don’t,” he warned. “They aren’t funny, they are terrifying.”  
  
“Aw, don’t you want to be a dad?” Darcy asked.  
  
“Of course I do, but the times those unplanned things came up and who they were with were not my ideal way of starting a family.”  
  
“Do you have any kids?” she nosily asked Thor.  
  
“I pray to the Norns I do not,” he sighed heavily. “I too have not found the correct conditions in which to begin a family.”  
  
“I feel like if you had a child the woman would have told you,” Natasha considered.  
  
“Yeah, what with lineage and stuff,” Clint added and finished towelling his hair off.  
  
“I have no fear for the safety of the kingdom. Loki’s children –”  
  
“Whoa you have kids!?” Darcy cried staring at him in shock.  
  
Loki felt Jane tense under his hands and he made care to be extra gentle. “Yes,” he said evenly.  
  
“Like one or two?”  
  
“Eight,” Clint, Natasha, and Thor said.  
  
“Shit,” she gasped. “Getting all the ladies!”  
  
“And men,” the three said again.  
  
“Well…I mean yeah, but kids can’t come from having gay sex. Unless you adopted.”  
  
“They are all of my seed, in some form or another,” Loki said. “I have birthed four of them.”  
  
“Wait…like…birthed as in you had a vagina and womb and pushed them out of you? Or did they come out of your penis?” she said growing seriously confused and concerned she’d just accidently stumbled on some seriously screwed up shit she wasn’t ready to learn.  
  
“My brother is a shapeshifter,” Thor explained.  
  
“…so he shapeshifted himself a womb?”  
  
“I was a mare for one of them and for the other three completely anatomically, and as far as blood samples and other biological factors could indicate, female.”  
  
“Whoa…I wish I could be a dude,” she said thoughtfully.  
  
“Yeah it’d make masturbating way easier,” Natasha admitted.  
  
“Masturbating is hard for guys too,” Clint said defensively. Everyone in the room gave him a look, even Loki and Thor. “Wrist and hand cramps are a thing and kill a nice evening of jerking off in bed to a sexy porno.”  
  
“I hate porn,” Darcy admitted.  
  
“Oh I love it,” Natasha said. “My favourites are the ones that are amateur because they are more realistic and intimate.”  
  
“I love the kind that doesn’t have a stupid story, doesn’t use too much vulgarity, and you can see that the two really want to be together and enjoy having sex,” Clint said and took another piece of pizza. “Gay or straight.”  
  
“Since you’re a dude, do you enjoy watching lesbian porn more?” Darcy asked curiously.  
  
“That’s highly offensively stereotypical of you,” he pointed out.  
  
“Every dude I ask ends up confessing to watching more lesbian porn that anything else. I was just trying to skip the awkward revelation part and get to the truth of it all,” she defended.  
  
Clint laughed and then shrugged, “Fair enough, but I mean I’ll watch it if it follows the qualifications I stated before, but I don’t actively look for it.”  
  
“Do you watch more gay or straight porn?”  
  
“Gay,” he admitted without missing a beat. “Cocky Boys for life!”  
  
“Do they have porn in Asgard?” Natasha asked Thor suddenly.  
  
“What?” Thor looked at her confused.  
  
“I’ve got it,” Darcy said handing off the Stark tablet she’d been tinkering with once she noticed his lost expression. “This stuff.”  
  
Thor watched the video for a minute. He squinted his eyes and tilted the screen a little. “Why is he paddling her with a racket? That’s not how one plays tennis.”  
  
Everyone burst into laughter.  
  
Loki went to wrap Jane’s hair, but she pulled away and did it herself. He decided to go over and look at the screen instead of dwelling on her behaviour. “Yes, we do have this; however it is a live form and only available in certain houses. We do not have it come to our hands on command like this,” he gestured to the screen. “Personal screens are used for work and reading. Viewing images like these are considered…well…” he considered it.  
  
“Lazy,” Thor nodded and handed the screen back over. “I’d consider myself lazy.”  
  
“Agreed,” Loki nodded and motioned for Thor that it was his time to have his hair rinsed.  
  
“Was that a random one you chose or just a personal kink?” Clint asked.  
  
Darcy stopped the video and glared at him, “I just clicked on the first video in the recommended section.”  
  
“Yeah that section sucks,”  
  
“All this talk about sex makes me want cake,” Natasha mumbled and ate a few chips.  
  
“Yes!” Darcy and Clint agreed.  
  
“Oh put that shit in the microwave!” he said.  
  
“And then add some ice cream!” she added.  
  
They pointed to one another and “Ah!”ed in agreement.  
  
“I’ve always preferred pie,” Jennifer said more to herself.  
  
Clint turned to her as he leaned on the island. “Do you have sex?”  
  
She was offended and didn’t hide it. “Yes,” she snapped a little at him.  
  
“I mean, you’re really pretty so I don’t doubt it, but you’re…quiet so I…” he shrugged and made a face to indicate he knew he’d screwed up. “I’m sorry,” he said standing straight and put his hands up in surrender.  
  
“Eh, it’s alright, it’s been a few years,” she sighed giving up on her anger. “It wasn’t all that great to begin with, and I’m far too busy to do anything for myself like that.”  
  
“Jane eats doughnuts,” Darcy threw out there.  
  
“Darcy!” she snapped at her to be quiet.  
  
“God if I could marry a doughnut I’d be a happy man,” Clint said shaking his head as he leaned against the island with a sigh; the idea so perfect in his mind yet sadly never obtainable.  
  
Loki turned around, his eyes narrowed upon the archer.  
  
“I love you babe,” he smiled when he noticed his look and winked.  
  
Loki rolled his eyes and went back to finishing Thor’s hair.  
  
“You’re lucky you’re cute,” Natasha said and moved Clint’s bangs from his face. “Your hair needs a trim.”  
  
“And you’ve lightened yours,” he said back and moved a step away. “Almost a whole different shade too. Impressive no one else has commented on it.”  
  
“That’s because everyone knows better. Besides it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that my identity has been compromised so I have to alter my appearance to maintain anonymity,” she said with a sour twist to her mouth. “And I see your face –”  
  
“Loki asked me, so it stays!” he said quickly putting a hand over his mouth. “Besides, I don’t work for S.H.I.E.L.D. anymore so fuck the grooming rules.”  
  
“I know, I can actually let my leg hair grow out a bit,” she sighed relieved. “And the best part about that is, my man came from a time when a woman shaving her legs, instead of just using nylons, was still a new concept.”  
  
“Captain America doesn’t punish you for having three day old stubble?” Darcy half mock-gasped half for real gasped.  
  
“Nope, nor two week old ‘eh I’ll get to it tomorrow’s,”  
  
“I love him so much,” she whispered and pretended to cry a little.  
  
“Thank god I’m not the only one,” Jennifer sighed to herself relieved.  
  
“Yeah Team Red, White, and ‘Damn that Ass!’ is much larger than you think,” Clint reassured.  
  
“You too?” Jane asked shocked.  
  
“Oh yeah,” Clint said as though it should have been obvious. “Me and Loki both.” The god nodded showing the archer spoke the truth.  
  
“Oh that’d be hot,” Darcy said. Jane slapped her arm. “Ouch!” she hissed and held the spot. “I can have my own dirty personal thoughts.”  
  
“Then keep them personal,” she hissed embarrassed.  
  
“Bruce is kind of cute in his own way too,” Natasha said.  
  
“He stole my screwdriver,” Darcy said darkly.  
  
“I don’t doubt Bruce is wild in bed,” Clint agreed. “I think if he grew his hair out a bit more and kept a permanent five o’clock shadow I’d actively do him at every chance.”  
  
“Eh,” Natasha said considering it. “With or without glasses?”  
  
“With, and with the purple shirt of sex,”  
  
She thought for a moment. “I could see myself making it a quickie kind of thing. On a desk or a wall or something, y’know?”  
  
“No,” Jennifer said looking at the floor awkwardly.  
  
“I’m sorry,” Natasha said turning to her. “I’m so sorry that’s probably the last thing you ever –”  
  
“It’s fine, people used to think he was my boyfriend when we were growing up,” she said waving her apologises away. “I agree: Robby is a handsome man; but for me that’s as far as it goes.”  
  
“Why do you call him that?” Darcy asked leaning forward to grab a slice of pizza.  
  
“It’s his name?” she asked confused.  
  
“His name is Robert!?” she squawked amazed.  
  
“Yeah,” everyone else said in some form or another.  
  
“Why does he go by Bruce then?”  
  
“His mom,” Jennifer explained and moved toward the food to grab at the little brownie bite bag. “In her family they only let close family or friends use the first name.”  
  
“When are we officially bumped to first name standard?”  
  
“He hardly does it anymore,” she said with a shrug. “Ever since we were little, after she died he’s just…he’s never really let anyone else close. Well not close enough to do that. He’s had friends and girlfriends and things, but he’s just never let anyone in like that.”  
  
“What if I just started calling him Rob?” Darcy curiously inquired in a mischievous manner.  
  
Jen shrugged. “I’ve never known anyone to try.”  
  
“Natasha?” Loki said as Thor walked away with his hair wrapped in a towel.  
  
“You go first and then me?”  
  
“Ladies always first,” Loki said gesturing to the sink. Natasha sighed, but gave him a warm smile and stuck her head under the water.  
  
“Do you do massages?” Darcy asked Clint and then addressed the other ladies and Loki, “Like they’re here for our comfort and amusement right?”  
  
“Correct,” Natasha and Loki said.  
  
“Then I’d love a good back rub,” she said, “Particularly in the lower part, because being a lady is a bitch on my poor body.”  
  
“Your body is not poor, it is perfectly curved and lush,” Thor complimented.  
  
Darcy stared at him for a moment. “I don’t think anyone has ever called me ‘lush’ before,” she admitted and considered how she felt about it.  
  
“Lo?” Clint asked.  
  
“You may,” he nodded his permission.  
  
“Thor can take care of me,” Natasha smiled.  
  
“With pleasure and honour,” he nodded.  
  
Clint went around and started working on Darcy’s back. Her face went from the ‘Oh that feels nice,’ to ‘Oh yeah that’s good!” and then to her eyes rolling back into her head while making sex noises.  
  
“Oh yes there!” she moaned and leaned forward a little to rest her head in her arms on the counter. Clint’s hands followed her and started working at her lower back. “Marry me…” she moaned pitifully.  
  
“Sorry, I’m spoken for.”  
  
“Boo…” she moaned sadly with a grumpy frown.  
  
Clint set his hands opened on either side of Darcy’s hips. “Is this okay?” He asked. She nodded. He pushed his thumbs into her back gently and pulled his fingers inward, moving them in small circles. “Is it cool if I ask you a personal question?”  
  
“Depends?”  
  
“I promise it’s to help you,”  
  
“Fine,”  
  
“Are you currently on your period? Don’t be offended, I just need to know so I know where to push and where not too,” he added quickly.  
  
“Yes,” she groaned miserably.  
  
“Okay…when we sit down in the living room again, give me your feet.”  
  
“You can have anything, just don’t stop…” she sighed and then groaned when Clint smoothed his hands up her back. “Oh…no wonder why you’re taken,” she whispered and curled her toes as her body tingled.  
  
He chuckled. “This a small factor to it, I assure you.” He looked at Loki who shared a glance with him. They smiled at one another.  
  
Loki moved Natasha out from under the water and squeezed her hair out before putting a towel over her head.  
  
“Your turn,” she smiled and they changed places. When they were finished, they gathered a few snacks for themselves and went to sit back down. Natasha went back to get the breadsticks and Nutella. Loki used a little charm to reheat them to perfection and they shared the delicious treat, passing the container around, as they watched the movie. Natasha sat on the floor with Thor behind her.  
  
“You can push harder,” Natasha said to Thor as she turned a breadstick around and re-dipped it on an unbitten part. They had all agreed to the no double-dipping rule, even though Thor and Loki had been confused and curious about it at first.  
  
“I do not wish to hurt you,” he replied.  
  
“Am I made of glass?”  
  
“No,” he said shaking his head.  
  
“Then I’ll be fine,” she reassured. Thor nodded and applied more pressure. She reached back a plain breadstick and he took a bite of it, knowing he’d not found the added hazelnut spread appealing with it.  
  
Darcy was groaning loudly as Clint sat on the floor rubbing her feet. He paid particular attention to her heels and a little ways up her calves, putting lotion into his hand just to help soften the skin and help his hands glide over it. He pushed his thumb to rub firmly into the soft area that lay just before her arch, right after her heel, and on the inner side. He moved it in circles and she melted into the couch with a loud growling moan.  
  
“Oh, give it to me…”  
  
He smiled and eased the pressure off, running his thumbs up the top inner part of her foot.  
  
“Uh yes!” she sighed and then stuffed her face with a breadstick. She moaned; the sound going from something sexual into a noise one would associate as ‘dying whale’ like.  
  
“Uh, hello?” Steve asked carefully before his and Bruce’s heads poked around the corner nervously.  
  
“Are we interrupting something?” Bruce asked awkwardly and cleared his throat.  
  
“Oh my God yes!” Darcy hissed and shifted a little as Clint repeated what he’d done a moment ago.  
  
“No,” Natasha laughed. “Have you eaten?”  
  
“Yeah, we picked something up before coming in,” Steve said entering further. He patted Thor’s shoulder. “Great work, but I’d like to tap in if that’s cool?”  
  
“By all means,” Thor smiled and moved to let Steve take his place. He turned to Jennifer. “Would you care for a massage?”  
  
“Oh no, I’m fine,” she said quickly.  
  
“She doesn’t want anyone to feel all of the knots,” Bruce teased and took a seat near her.  
  
“Jane wants one,” Darcy said and shifted a little. “Oh no, _needs_ – oh right there!”  
  
Clint paused and spent a little time working at the arch of Darcy’s foot. “More or less?”  
  
“A little more pressure.”  
  
He applied it and she groaned and relaxed more into the couch.  
  
Jane gave her a look that suggested she was judging her. “I’m good,” she said once she noticed Thor was waiting for an answer.  
  
“Here, trade me,” Clint said and got up. He hurried to the kitchen to wash his hands and then returned, drying them on a towel. He sat down before Loki and patted his lap.  
  
“No,” Loki shook his head once he realised what Clint was getting at.  
  
“Yeah, come on,” he said patting his own thigh again and then pulled at Loki’s foot a bit.  
  
“Clint,” he laughed.  
  
“I haven’t rubbed you down in so long,” he begged leaning towards him.  
  
Loki sighed, pretending it was an arduous task giving Clint his feet. The archer smiled and removed his socks. He pressed a kiss to the top of Loki’s foot before he started warming it up. He added lotion and watched Loki’s face as he worked.  
  
Loki grinned at him and supressed a moan as Clint’s fingers sought out the tender and stiff parts and gently rubbed them loose. He might have kept his sounds of approval quiet from the rest of the crowd, but he let them go internally.  
  
Clint’s grin widened as his soft gasps and moans drifted down the bond. _Yeah…am I good or what?_  
  
_You are good…_ he purred.  
  
“Oh harder,” Darcy whispered. “Give it all you got.”  
  
Loki noticed Thor give him a look. It was a pleading look that asked if he should do as he was bid. “Try just a little more pressure,” Loki advised.  
  
Thor looked back at Darcy’s foot and applied a tiny bit more.  
  
“Oh that’s it!” she hummed.  
  
Thor gave his brother a gratefully thankful look.  
  
_How about you?_ Clint asked.  
  
_You are doing just fine,_ he reassured and let his eyes roll back up into his head a little.  
  
They continued on with their movie and evening. Natasha eventually snuggled up in Steve’s arms, her back all tingly and relaxed. She noticed he smelled like soap and was wearing a different shirt. It was almost identical to the one he had left in, but this one had a higher neckline and the sleeves came further down his arms.  
  
“How was duty?” she asked softly.  
  
“Good,” he replied.  
  
She carefully put a hand on his shoulder and felt him tense a little. “Same old boring stuff?”  
  
“Yep,” he said carefully and pressed a kiss to her temple.  
  
She glanced at Bruce and noted he was also wearing different clothes. She patted Steve’s leg gently and relaxed into his embrace, knowing they’d talk about it later when the others weren’t around.

  
\-------------------------------------------------

  
After another movie, this one an Indie film they’d found and decided to play just for fun, they all called it a night. Bruce and Jennifer went up for the night, Jane left without saying anything, and Darcy picked at the food on the island as Clint, Thor, and Steve put their leftovers away. Clint and Steve shooed Natasha and Loki back from touching anything and insisted they go back up to their rooms to rest.  
  
“I’m not a fragile paper swan,” Natasha said hotly to Clint.  
  
“Cool, I’m glad you’re not. Even though swans are metal as fuck. I’m just saying you both have worked very hard to make the night great for everyone, now do yourselves a favour and go take a nice relaxing bath or masturbate or read or something; I don’t care what, just let us put this stuff away.”  
  
She sighed frustrated.  
  
“Seriously,” Darcy said chowing down from a bowl of chips she refused to surrender. “You both deserve an award. This was the best fun I’ve had in ages.”  
  
“Thank you,” Natasha said with a small sigh and looked to Loki for help.  
  
He shrugged, a little at a loss as well.  
  
“Fine,” she said and left; Loki following right behind her.  
  
Darcy took the bowl with her as she went after them. “Hey, how often do we do this again?”  
  
“Every other weekend,” Natasha said.  
  
“It’s not that I don’t like doing this, I do, but do you think we could also do a girl’s night out?”  
  
Natasha slowed and then looked at Darcy. “Like?”  
  
“Like we all get super dressed up, or not whatever you want, and then go out to a nice dinner or club or something silly like a laser tag game?”  
  
“Hm,” she said considering it as she stopped outside her door. She looked at Loki. “How does that sound to you?”  
  
“I do not know much of this era,” he confessed. “Yet the idea sounds highly adventurous.” He smiled. “I like it.”  
  
“Me too.” She looked to Darcy, “After Thanksgiving we’ll talk.”  
  
“Sweet,” she said excitedly. “Also, if you’re going to have rough sex,” she began to Loki.  
  
“I wouldn’t count on that tonight,” he replied honestly.  
  
“Well if you do, I’m just warning, Erik comes to check on us at around midnight and two am, so…I don’t know, just a tip if you felt like being cautious or a pain in his ass.” She smiled at him and then went to her door. “Night! Thank you again for the wonderful time.”  
  
They waved and bid her goodnight.  
  
Loki sighed and scratched at the back of his head.  
  
“Hey,” Natasha smiled and nudged him. “Are you better?”  
  
“Yes,” he said honestly.  
  
“Are you going to be okay tonight?”  
  
Loki was silent for a moment and then shrugged. “I’m not certain…”  
  
“Maybe something flirty to instigate something sexy?” she suggested none too innocently.  
  
He grinned at her shyly. “Unfortunately, not this evening.”  
  
“Boo,” she said.  
  
He sighed. “At least I’m not made of glass any longer,” he said relieved.  
  
“It’ll get easier,” she promised. They both stood there for a moment. “Well someone has to be obnoxious and get laid tonight,” she muttered trying to break the awkward silence.  
  
He laughed. “I shall bid you a wonderful night then.”  
  
“Good night,” she replied opening her door. “Seriously though, if I were you I’d fake it just to piss Selvig off.”  
  
“Whatever happened to ‘trying to ease them into it’?” he mused.  
  
“After this week, I’m going full on submersion. As Clint says: ‘Sink or swim, bitches’.”  
  
They both laugh loudly together.  
  
“Good night Natasha,” he waved as he went to his room.  
  
“Good night Loki,” she sang and shut the door.  
  
Upon entering the room, he scooped up the whiny kittens and snuggled them to his face. “Oh my babies!” he sighed and gave them kisses as he shut the door with his foot. “Oh my little ones are so fussy,” he smiled and took them with him to the bathroom. He set them on the counter and started washing his face and brushing his teeth for the night. They helped him as best as they knew how to with little licks and nudges to his arms or a paw on his hand while he was moving the brush over his teeth. Jareth even batted the water toward his face when he was rinsing his mouth.  
  
“That’s adorable,” Clint said from the door.  
  
Loki smiled as best as he could with a mouth full of rinse, moving the kittens out of the way so they wouldn’t get any of the mouthwash on them when he spit. He rinsed the sink quickly. “They try their best.”  
  
Clint laughed and started readying for bed. Loki waited for him and together they grabbed a cat and crawled under the covers. They let the kittens find a place and snuggled up around them as they settled down.  
  
The lights dimmed upon Clint’s request and Loki tucked his feet near the archer’s. He gave a small start and pulled his feet back. Loki moaned unhappily. “They’re cold,” Clint whined.  
  
“I know,” he grinned over his shoulder at Clint. “I wanted you to warm them up.”  
  
“I’ll get you socks,” he promised and got up. Loki tried to tell him he didn’t have too, but Clint was already out of bed. He came back with two pairs and slipped his on before flipping the covers near Loki’s feet away. He took a moment, gently massaging Loki’s foot before tugging the thick sock on. The god sighed and moaned as he enjoyed the physical attention. His eyes rolled up into his head and he shifted a little when Clint got his thumb on a pressure point that made his body tense deliciously until it was released. Once done his back felt like goo and he couldn’t stop the heady moan that tumbled from his lips. Clint’s grin widened and he hurried to put the other sock on his foot. “Better?” he asked still rubbing them a bit, this time just to help warm them and not to spark anything from the god.  
  
Loki nodded with a shy smile. “Thank you.”  
  
Clint climbed back into bed. “No problem.” He pulled him close and pressed kisses along the back of his neck. “I love you.”  
  
“I love you as well,” Loki sighed. He suddenly felt restless and shifted a bit. Clint ran his hands down his front and kissed his neck. Loki sighed heavily and that seemed to sate him for the time. Jareth yawned and shook his head before settled down on top of them. Ast stayed near Loki’s chest. Sleep came easy to them all and for the first time in a long while, Loki slept peacefully.  


\-------------------------------------------------

  
Natasha brushed out her hair and peeked out the bathroom door when she heard Steve entre.  
  
“So,” he said jumping right into an explanation.  
  
She slowed her actions and waited.  
  
“It was that woman again,” he said a little frustrated. “The one with the mask and the tight tacky suit.”  
  
“Oh,” she rolled her eyes. “ _Her_.”  
  
“She robbed a museum; took some old artefact. We got it back, but only after getting our butts handed to us.”  
  
Natasha smirked at his choice of using a non-vulgar word. “What was the artefact?”  
  
“Some old orb. It was made out of stone, pretty heavy, and decorated. Not sure what it’s about or used for, but it’s back where it belongs and they’ve doubled security measures. We’ve got a problem though,” he said.  
  
“Oh?” she asked putting the brush down and started putting lotion on.  
  
He moved closer to her and whispered. “We’re being followed.”  
  
“I know,” she nodded.  
  
He blinked surprised. “You do?”  
  
“Yes, by S.H.I.E.L.D.,”  
  
He blinked again and took a step back. “How long have you known?”  
  
“Since the day they started. They haven’t been very subtle about it. I didn’t make a big deal in order to keep them thinking they had us,” she explained.  
  
“Well thanks for the head’s up,” he muttered.  
  
“Did she seem surprised you didn’t know?” she asked.  
  
He thought back about it. “Yeah, very condescending and then it was like she was superior to us or something. She was acting as though she’d known all along and was trying to do us a favour or something.”  
  
“Yeah, just as I thought,” she shook her head. “I think she’s sort of working with them. Not for, but they have a deal of a sorts. She seems to be popping up a lot recently. They know we’ll go after her because of that, but they won’t take her in because if she pisses us off enough, she could lead us into a trap they’ve set.”  
  
“So we should call a meeting?”  
  
“Yeah,” she sighed. “Enough of us know now. Why not? Tomorrow before team training?”  
  
He nodded and then noticed what she was wearing. “This is new,” he smiled and pulled a little at the deep purple nightgown with cream lace along the neck and hem lines.  
  
“Do you like it?” she asked and let one of the spaghetti straps fall down over her shoulder so she could rub lotion onto the spot.  
  
“Yeah,” he smiled and kissed her. She hummed and jumped up into his arms.  
  
“Oh,” she said. “I forgot to ask, are you –”  
  
“Yeah I’m fine,” he promised. “Much better now,” he kissed her again. They laughed and fell onto the bed.  
  
“Wait,” Natasha said. “What time is it?”  
  
“Uh,” Steve looked at their clock. “Eleven-fifty.”  
  
Natasha sighed heavily. “We have to wait.”  
  
He frowned at her.  
  
“I don’t want Clint to be right,” she replied, “Thursdays and Saturdays; eleven-fifty-two on the dot.”  
  
“Oh,” he frowned. “I just thought you preferred the consistency.”  
  
She laughed. “I like a little variety.”  
  
“Yeah?” he smiled. “Well then, do you want to try for midnight?”  
  
“So wild,” she laughed.  
  
“Yeah maybe we’ll even be extra crazy and do it again tomorrow morning.”  
  
Natasha moaned. “Oh the insanity!”  
  
“You wanna see insane?” he asked her honestly.  
  
“With you? Always.”  
  
“Alright, just wait until midnight,” he promised.  
  
God she loved that smile. It was cheeky in a way that led her to believe he was planning the absolute sweetest most innocent and adoring thing in the world for her, yet little did most know, he was far from that during moments like this. She shivered and tried to patiently wait by telling him about what he missed while on duty. When the clock showed it was a new day, it brought with it a wonderfully borderline sinful surprise that left her head high in the clouds and entire being thoroughly sated to where she couldn’t move afterwards.  
  
Steve kissed her shoulder as he lay next to her. “Good?”  
  
“Wonderful,” she mumbled and tried lifting her arm to touch his face. She could only move her fingers before an after-wave shimmied up her body. She shivered and moaned a little as her skin prickled pleasantly.  
  
“Yeah,” he smirked watching her and licked his lips in appreciation. “You too tired to go again?”  
  
“Give me a few more minutes,” she promised. “Then it’s my turn.”  
  
He grinned happily and laid back to wait.

  
\-------------------------------------------------

  
Clint was startled awake by a loud thud on his door. If he hadn’t known better, he would have sworn it was the Hulk. He fumbled on the nightstand for his watch. It read that it was five in the morning.  
  
“Fuck me!” he hissed highly annoyed. Today was his day off too. He felt a fuzzy body roll off his back as he got up and fumbled in the dark for the pair of shorts he’d left there last night. He tripped over them and swore. That noise woke Loki.  
  
He gasped as he came to and shot upright. “Clint?” he asked worriedly.  
  
“I’m fine,” he reassured. “I just stumbled.”  
  
Loki stretched a bit and settled back down. There was another loud thud. “What is that?” he asked sleepily.  
  
“Something on fire soon if it doesn’t stop,” Clint growled getting up as he pulled his shorts on and threw their door opened. A large mattress started falling toward him. “AH!” he shouted throwing up his arms to catch and hold it back  
  
“Clint!?” Loki cried and hurried to save him. The cats meowed loudly and ran around confused and excited. Loki pushed at the overly heavy mattress with him.  
  
There were words from the other side, muffled shouts and footfalls that suggested people were coming to help. At a count of probably three, the heavy mattress was lifted back causing Clint and Loki both to stagger forward a bit. The archer smoothly pulled Loki back behind the door and stood in the way protectively.  
  
“What the hell is going on?” he demanded angrily.  
  
“Renovations,” a neatly close trimmed bearded man, in nice jeans and a bright blue polo, said. “Mr. Stark’s orders.”  
  
“At this hour!?”  
  
“Sorry, we came at the time he scheduled,” the man apologised.  
  
“Yeah well…” he looked around the man’s chest and spotted the Stark logo on a nametag. “Well look here Ben!” he said waving a finger in a mildly threatening manner. “Could you keep it down a bit? My fiancé is ill and needs to rest.”  
  
Ben’s face looked apologetically pained. “Yes, of course. We are so sorry, and we’ll do our best to keep things down. I, speak for everyone when I say we wish her a speedy recovery.”  
  
“Him,” Clint corrected before shutting the door. Ben’s face looked a bit startled, yet he corrected his well wishes as the door shut in his face.  
  
Loki hummed with a look that said Clint didn’t have to added the correction or even mention him in the first place. He crossed his arms over his chest. The archer put his arms around him. “I’ve displeased you.”  
  
“No,” he said neutrally, yet his face said: ‘Yes’.  
  
“What can I do to receive your forgiveness?” he asked nuzzling the god’s jaw.  
  
There was a knock at the door. Loki nodded toward it with a look that said: Take care of that first. Clint opened it.  
  
“Sorry, I know you said you didn’t want to be bothered, but this little one was hanging near the door,” Ben said lifting up the small kitten.  
  
“Dammit Jareth,” Clint sighed as he took the kitten. He mewed happily at him. “Yes, I know, you’re pleased you got passed me without me noticing.” He looked to the man, “Thanks Ben.”  
  
“Not at all,” he said as Clint began rudely shutting the door in his face.  
The archer turned to the god. “Was that face because of this?” he asked holding up the kitten.  
  
“In part,” he answered and went back to their bed where Ast was waiting.  
  
“And the other?” he asked following him.  
  
Loki laid back under the covers and let out a heavy and long breath. Clint was about to push him for answers when he felt it. The darkness. It was just under the surface. He realised that the mattress falling on him had caused Loki great distress. Loki wasn’t acting odd on purpose; he was trying not to have an anxiety attack, which would bring the darkness into full raging glory.  
  
Loki turned onto his side and curled up a little. He was starting to shake. Clint wiggled up next to him and dropped Jareth down on the other side of Loki. He slipped his arms around him and began gently pressing kisses along his shoulders. Loki leaned back into his comforting embrace.  
  
“I’m sorry,” Clint whispered.  
  
Loki sighed heavily and rubbed at his forehead. “It’s not your fault.”  
  
“I wish there was something more I could do,”  
  
Loki patted his arms and swallowed before bringing one of Clint’s hands up to press a kiss to. He set it against his cheek and squeezed his eyes shut tightly as he fought to stay calm. The darkness was thrashing inside of him in a manner it had never before. It was making him sick. “Clinton…may I ask something of you?” he whispered after a few minutes.  
  
“Yes, anything,”  
  
“Would you mind getting one of the jars from the closet? One marked ‘syrup’?”  
  
“Yeah, of course,” he said getting up.  
  
He turned and grabbed Clint’s arm before he could go very far. “When you do…could you…” Loki bit his lip trying to figure out how to tactfully go about asking such a thing. “Just…be careful. The magic inside is delicate…you have to try and not imprint negative things upon it. When you handle it…only think good things. Focus very hard on that.”  
  
“Okay,” Clint promised and kissed Loki’s forehead before going to get it.  
  
Loki waited in silence, watching the door to the closet as Clint disappeared. There was a small faint golden flash of light. It was so frail the archer would have never been able to notice it, even if he had been looking for it. Loki sighed with relief and turned back over as he waited for Clint to come around. His prediction was correct and the reality of it made him equal parts happy and numb.  
  
“Here,” Clint said coming over and turned the side light on a low setting. He held out the jar.  
  
Loki shook his head. “I can’t touch it.”  
  
“Oh,” he said and pulled it back a bit. “Because the magic and stuff?”  
  
Loki nodded, yet motioned for Clint to hold it up so he could examine it. He propped himself up on an elbow looked it over. The entire thing radiated power; dull and weak as it was, it was there and would be more helpful to him now than without. He had Clint turn it so that he could get a good look all around. Once satisfied, he nodded to Clint, who handed him a spoon from the side table and then opened the top. Loki dipped it in and quickly swallowed the thin sweetly sour tablespoon. He handed the spoon over as Clint gave him a glass of water.  
  
Loki could feel the magic spreading through his chest. It was warm tingled pleasantly, like hot chocolate after being outside in the snow for too long or a comforting hug. The darkness hissed annoyed and slunk back away from it.  
  
_Think you are clever?_ It asked.  
  
Loki ignored it. He emptied the glass and settled back into bed. The kittens had started dozing off again; Jareth with his head on Ast’s bottom and Ast with his face smooshed into the god’s torso. Clint came around and snuggled up against him again. Loki put one of the archer’s hands against his cheek and he sighed, this time letting all of the tension coiling up inside of him out.  
  
“Thank you, love,” he whispered.  
  
Clint kissed his shoulder. “Anything for you, Lo.”  
  
Loki smiled and relaxed into the warmth and heaviness of sleep.

  
\-------------------------------------------------

  
Natasha took the cup Steve handed her. “Thank you,” she smiled and leaned her face up for a kiss. It was odd. Still odd. The connection she had made with him was still so strange to her. The ease at which they had just somehow managed to fit one another into their lives; how comfortable she found talking to him, telling him her personal secrets; how relaxed she was in his presence; how safe she felt…  
  
It made her uncomfortable at times; just as the feel of his lips against hers did in that split second when she wished it would have brought that joyous giddiness instead. She covered up her discomfort with a practiced smile and quickly drank the bitterly sweet coffee. Steve didn’t seem to notice, and if he did he made no mention or indication of it. Instead he just turned around to admire their new dishwasher.  
  
“She’s a beauty,” he said confidently and put his hands on his hips. “Saves energy, space, time, water…we can wash three times as many dishes as before and it’s quiet.” He chuckled, “Technology is amazing.”  
  
Natasha laughed. Darcy entered the room. “Morning,” she waved.  
  
Darcy returned the gesture half-heartedly and rubbed at her face with a large yawn, “Morning.”  
  
“Good morning!” Steven said loudly and cheerily.  
  
“Whoa, just like the sun, you need to turn down too,” she advised holding a hand up to him. “Like, keep all that sadistic joy contained, will ya?”  
  
Rogers laughed and went about setting the dirty dishes into the new machine.  
  
“Sleep well?” Romanoff asked.  
  
“Yeah totally,” Darcy said sarcastically as she flopped down into a chair. “I love being woken up at the ass crack of dawn by construction and stuff.”  
  
“You sound a lot like Clint,” Natasha laughed and drank some more of her coffee. “I expect a very strongly worded email sometime this week about this morning’s events.”  
  
“Doesn’t he have morning duty?”  
  
“No,” she swallowed and cleared her throat. “He’s still not feeling very well.”  
  
“Seriously, did he come down with a flu bug or something? He seemed fine when we were all hanging out the other night.” Darcy yawned again and rubbed at her head, messing up her hair even more. “In fact, he looked really well; it was Loki that didn’t look so hot. I mean he’s attractive and stuff, but he looked tired.”  
  
“He takes caring for Clint very seriously,” Steve said, hoping his words helped keep their secret rather than hinder.  
  
“Maybe that’s it,” she yawned again and got up. “Do we have milk?”  
  
“Yes,” he said excitedly and opened the new fridge. “Tada!” he nearly sang.  
  
“Oh, whew! Great, glad we still have a fridge,” Darcy said rolling her eyes and got the milk out.  
  
“But it’s not just any fridge, it’s this new kind that has digital pictures on the front, and reminders, and –”  
  
“Look I know it’s better than the iceboxes in your day, but this is normal stuff to us now,” she said as politely as she could. “Like the only difference from this one and the last one is Stark’s name on it, and you can doodle on the front with a special pen. It’s also hooked up to Jarvis.”  
  
“How do you know that?” Steve frowned confused and looked the fridge over.  
  
“Everything in this house is hooked up to him,” she said setting the milk on the table and went to the pantry to get a box of cereal. “My toilet is hooked up to him!” she called from around the corner, almost exasperated.  
  
“Morning,” Jane said entering. She was dressed in thick black leggings and a dark jean button up dress. It came to about her knees, with a flirty skirt and skinny straps, but her black turtle neck under it covered any skin it would have normally shown. She also had a red, brown, and black plaid long shirt over it all. Natasha suspected it was to hide the fact that she was either subconsciously or consciously dressing up in hopes of some compliment from Thor; but wanted to play it off so as not to fully alert him, or herself. Natasha noted she wore her normal brown boots with thick grey socks rolled down around the tops and had a bag with her that looked to be almost completely empty.  
  
Yep, it was a bit of both then.  
  
“Someone’s got a date,” Darcy smiled as she returned with two boxes, one of an off-brand cookie cereal and the other of Lucky Charms.  
  
Jane shot her a pointed look. “It’s not a date,” she said in a tone that suggested she was tired of having to repeat and explain herself. “I’m just going out in a bit with Erik and Thor. We’re going to get some parts I need. That’s all.”  
  
“Okay,” she grinned like the Cheshire Cat and got a bowl and spoon.  
  
Jane rolled her eyes and went to get herself a cup of coffee. Erik came in. “Hey,” she said.  
  
“Hey,” he replied and joined her in getting a morning beverage. “About ready dear?” he asked with a touch of a nervous tone to his voice. He was shaking a bit.  
  
Jane didn’t notice until he was trying to take a drink of his coffee. “Are you alright?” she asked him.  
  
“What?” he asked as though he hadn’t heard her. “Oh, yes,” he smiled and patted her shoulder reassuringly. “Perfectly fine, just cold.”  
  
“Is that the sweater mom got you for Christmas last year?” she asked looking the hideously over done Irish wool knit sweater over. It was a baby-puke green-brown with flecks of dark grey and cream spotted randomly over the surface. The front had a large rectangle of some funky tiny honeycomb looking pattern, bordered by thick roped twists which lead into large three strand cables bordered by little bobbles, which gave way to thin five strand cables, back to twists, and then for most of the back the boring honeycomb pattern again.  
  
“Is it?” he asked running a hand over the front as he looked down at it. Even the sleeves were overdone with four different patterns that made no sense together.  
  
“Yeah, I think so.” She smiled at him and patted his shoulder, “Looks good,” she lied as nicely as she could.  
  
He smiled back at her, having not noticed her false sincerity. Jane went to sit at the table next to Darcy, who had mixed the two cereals and was currently eating large mouthfuls in earnest delight.  
  
“Best combination I’ve made to date,” she said around some of the cereal as she gestured to the bowl with her spoon. Jane took a cookie bit from the bowl and munched on it.  
  
“So the renovators are here,” Erik said and tried steadying his hand as he attempted to take another drink.  
  
“Yes,” Natasha smiled and opened a screen on their new table top to check the news. “And with them new washers, dryers, beds, fridges, a pool table, new weight machines, and a dishwasher.”  
  
“See,” Steven said indicating the machine with a goofy pleased grin.  
  
Selvig nodded politely. “Does this mean the girls won’t have to share a room?”  
  
“Yes, if they wish to have a separate space they may have it,” Natasha said and opened her email when she noticed a new message waiting for her.  
  
“Does this…does this mean that, uh, Loki will be getting his own room?” he asked nervously and with no tact.  
  
Jane rolled her eyes; Darcy let out a loud annoying huff; Steve hurried to clean the counter; and Natasha looked at Erik in a manner that was pleasant, kind, and slightly terrifying in the fact that her face was composed elegantly in a mild grin, but her eyes burned her displeasure.  
  
“Loki will remain where he is, with Clint, as he should,” she said simply with just a hint of honey and all stingers in her words. She looked back down at the table and realised the email wasn’t from who she thought it was.  
  
“I just…I just thought –”  
  
“Maybe you shouldn’t think on the matter any longer,” she said closing the screen and rose. She gave him a tight warm smile and nodded her head once. “It seems to distress you so, and I’m sure there are plenty of other more pressing and concerning matters to deal with than where people rest their head at night.” She picked up her mug. “Excuse me; I have a few things to do today before duty.”  
  
Erik watched her leave; his face sour for that was not the answer he had wanted. He looked at Steven, who ignored him, and then at Jane. “How long until they return?” he said, deciding to change the subject.  
  
“Around ten,” she replied looking her notes over, making sure her list was perfect and complete.  
  
“You should eat something,”  
  
“I’m fine,” she said. “I’m not hungry yet.”  
  
He watched her for a moment. “Well, I’m hungry,” he said turning around and started hunting for something simple. Toast! That sounded good to him. Maybe some jam or a bowl of oatmeal. Yes, that would be filling. He began making his meal.  
  
“I have to check on Clint for Bruce,” Steve said excusing himself from the room after a while. The moment he left Erik turned around.  
  
“Don’t!” both of them said to him rather sharply.  
  
He was a bit taken aback by the force of their command and tone. He turned and in a rather grumpy mood, finished buttering his toast while he waited for the water to heat up for his oatmeal.

  
  
\-------------------------------------------------  


Clint groaned and rolled over. Loki shifted a little, yet remained fairly still. The cats, on the other hand, knew what hour it was and had taken up a game of chase. Their little paws thundered on the carpeted floor as they raced back and forth across the room excitedly. One knocked the bell ball, which lead to a fight over who rightfully owned it.  
  
Loki sat up, just as Clint was struggling to get out of bed, at the sound of highly annoyed hissing cats. Ast growled and then jumped for Jareth again. Clint snatched the kitten up and got his foot bitten by the older one.  
  
“Ouch! Fuck!” he hissed and went to grab at him.  
  
Loki gently stopped him and grabbed Ast up. He held the cat by the scruff and looked directly into his eyes. “No,” he said, his voice was so icy and dead it sort of made Clint uncomfortable. The cat made a small noise and Loki said it again. “No. You do not bite like that unless your life is in danger.” Ast was silent, his look not as hard or defiant as it had been a moment before. Loki stared at him for a minute longer before bringing him close to his chest and began petting him. Ast licked him and meowed in a manner that almost suggested he was begging for his forgiveness. Loki held him up higher on his chest and nuzzled with the cat as he petted him. “Yes, my darling,” he cooed, his voice warm and affectionate. “Yes, I know, I know, but we must be kind to one another.”  
  
Clint looked at Jareth. “Be nice,” he warned. The kitten seemed to stare at him confused. “Ah who am I kidding, you’re too cute,” he said with a smile and began petting and kissing him.  
  
Loki laughed and shook his head. “You’re silly,” he sighed before yawning.  
  
“And you’re sexy,” he winked.  
  
Loki chuckled as he crawled back into bed, Clint following. The cats, however lost interest in resting after a few minutes and began running around again. The noise of their playing reminded Loki of his children.  
  
_The sun through the window was warm and bright…it’s rays spreading along the middle of the soft bed he lay in. It was covered in furs and smelled of his mother. She had sent them to try and ease his loneliness and to remind him that he was still loved and welcome home whenever he wished. He knew his self-banishment was hard on her and it saddened him to think he was hurting her._  
  
_Little feet thundered in the hall just before the door burst opened and Grim came in screaming. Loki sat up and opened his arms, embracing his terrified son._  
  
_“Papa!” the boy cried into his shoulder as he clung to him desperately. “PAPA!”_  
  
_“I’m here, I’m here,” he said reassuringly. He looked to the door and found Fenrir there, in his wolf form, panting as though he’d been running. Loki realised Grim was also out of breath._  
  
_“I’m sorry!” he cried._  
  
_“What?” Loki asked confused and looked down at him, trying to get him to turn his face so he could see and hear him better._  
  
_“Please don’t let him eat me! I’m sorry! I’ll be good! I’ll be good!” he sobbed hysterically, nearly screaming._  
  
_“Eat you?!” he gasped and glared at Fenrir. “I would never let your brother eat you.”_  
  
_“He said you don’t love me!” the child cried harder._  
  
_Loki held Grimalf closer. “No my little one, I love you very dearly. I could never wish harm to you. The thought makes me sick to my stomach. Shhhh, it’s all right,” he promised and pressed his lips to his forehead. “Shhh it’s all right, I’m right here, you’re safe.”_  
  
Loki felt a hand brush his forehead and he jerked a little as he returned to the present.  
  
“Are you okay?” Clint asked worried. He was no longer lying next to him as he had a moment before; he was now standing over him with pants on.  
  
“Yes,” Loki said rubbing his face. “I’m sorry, did you say something?”  
  
“Yeah, I asked if you wanted go with me downstairs or should I bring you something to eat?”  
  
“I’ll go with you,” he said sitting up.  
  
Clint looked him over again. “Are you sure you’re alright?”  
  
“Yes,” Loki nodded rising and kissed Clint to banish his worries. He hummed and ran his hands along his firm body. Clint held him close and led their kiss on an adventure. Loki sighed excitedly and pressed himself flush, moving his hands up to hold Clint’s face, who hummed and grabbed excitedly at the god’s waist. Loki was about to lose himself to desire when the darkness jumped up and scratched at his face. He flinched and pulled back with a cry as he held a hand to the spot that was now burning.  
  
“Loki?” Clint asked worriedly.  
  
“I’m…I’m fine,” he said and pulled his hand back to check for blood. There was none, but the area near his right eye ached awfully. He rubbed at it and winced. “I’m…I’m not feeling too well suddenly…would…would you mind getting me some water?”  
  
Clint went to refill his glass in the bathroom sink. He returned and found Loki taking a hefty spoonful of the syrup, noting how careful he was in not directly touching it. He gave the glass over and Loki downed it quickly before getting back into bed.  
  
“I’m sorry,” he began and cleared his throat. “I think I’m going to stay here for a while.”  
  
“It’s fine,” he promised. “Do you want me to get you anything?”  
  
“I’m not very hungry,”  
  
“What should I bring you?” he insisted.  
  
“Something small and simple,” he muttered giving in; knowing that arguing was a waste of time and energy.  
  
Clint nodded and leaned forward to press a kiss to his forehead. Loki closed his eyes and welcomed the gesture before laying back into the pillows. Ast protectively stayed by his side. Jareth on the other hand had fallen off the bed and was franticly trying to get back up. Clint scooped him up and dumped him near Loki’s feet as he made his way toward the door.  
  
“Wait,” Loki said sitting up a little.  
  
“Yeah?” he paused.  
  
“The…would you add a spoonful of the syrup to my tea?”  
  
“Yeah,” Clint smiled and went to get it. He gave Loki’s forehead another quick kiss and headed for the door. Upon opening it he found himself face to face with Banner.  
  
“Uh,” he said lowering his fist. “Jarvis said Loki’s had two attacks so far today?”  
  
“Yeah,” he nodded and moved aside to let him in. “I’m going down to get us something to eat. Do you need anything?”  
  
“No, thank you,” he said entering. “Oh wait,” he set his bag down and pulled out a wad of gauze and some tape. “Give me your hand,” he said.  
  
Clint held his free hand out. “What’s this for?”  
  
“So if Erik gets mouthy you have something that looks as though you had been stuck here,” he said and put the bandage on him. “There.”  
  
“Thanks,” he nodded and left, shutting the door.  
  
Bruce turned to Loki. “How are you feeling?”  
  
“Jittery,” he replied and picked at the covers.  
  
“Jarvis said you had two attacks. You successfully stopped them with the syrup too,” he said and gestured to the bedside. Loki waved his permission and Bruce sat. “Do you want to talk about them?”  
  
“It won’t help,” he replied matter-of-factly.  
  
“No, but sometimes just…saying it,” he shrugged and sighed realising he couldn’t use the roundabout bullshit spiel he normally used. He was going to have to get personal. “The fears we have, the doubts, the anger or sadness…sometimes giving it a voice can take away its power. I’ve always found it the case. Even if the Hulk is the only one listening.”  
  
“I hear enough voices for them, I don’t see the need to add my own,” he said in a quiet tone and looked toward the window.  
  
Bruce nodded understandingly. “Then let’s talk about the syrup. It’s working well, that’s a bonus. Is there anything special I should know.”  
  
“Only Clinton may handle them,” he said. “No one else is to touch them. Touching would…contaminate the spell.”  
  
He nodded thoughtfully again. “Okay, that’s good to know. I’ll be sure to pass the word along.”  
  
“It’s a temporary solution,” Loki whispered and then looked at Bruce fearfully. “I don’t know how long it’ll help…even the tinctures won’t be a match for it after a while, and the darkness knows this…I don’t know how long I’ll be able to manage it.”  
  
Banner swallowed slowly. “Would having a plan for when that time comes help give you peace of mind?”  
  
Loki shrugged and then looked away. “I’m already doing so much…and it’s…” he paused, licking his lips, and then closed his eyes for a moment. “It’s not enough,” he decided to say.  
  
Bruce knew he was holding back something, but he wouldn’t press him on it. “What would you like us to do, in the event that the syrup and tinctures fail?”  
  
“Hopefully we’ll sense their power running out and we’ll have found a guardian by then.”  
  
He nodded. “What can they do to help you?”  
  
“They have the power to contain me,” he said. “To put me in a state where I should do no harm to others and continue to keep the darkness from unleashing into your world.” He looked at Banner then. “You must promise me something.”  
  
Bruce nodded for him to continue.  
  
“If they have no means of helping, and the syrups and tinctures fail…if I become out of control…you must…you must contain me…” Bruce went to protest and say something encouraging in regards to him getting better but Loki held up a hand to stop him and continued. “In an unbreakable cage. Drop me to the bottom of the ocean. Don’t think of me. Don’t speak of me. Forget I exist and let me suffer with it until I can pass on.”  
  
“Loki…” he began giving him a sad look.  
  
“Promise me, Dr. Banner,” he pleaded and took his hand as a gesture to convey his sincerity. “Please. The safety of the realms are at stake. This thing could wipe out your planet in less than an hour, I can’t let it. I won’t,” he corrected. “I refuse to let it hurt anyone else, ever.”  
  
“I will do my best to find a way to prevent such, but…” he took a moment and then looked him in the eyes. “I will honour your request to the best of my abilities if such a time arises.”  
  
Loki nodded, tears glittering in his eyes as he sat back. Bruce could tell some of the tension in his body had subsided.  
  
“What is a good indicating point that lets us know the tincture and syrups have failed?” Bruce asked softly.  
  
“When I can’t tell what is real any longer…and I try to kill everyone,” he replied very seriously. “Would…would it be possible to keep my request from Clint? Just for a while?” he asked hesitantly. “I know him; he’ll try and talk me out of it, make speeches about how we’ll get through this and all…” he looked away from him and quickly wiped his tears from his face. “I can’t…I can’t bear the thought of him getting hurt from this.”  
  
“I will, but I can’t keep it from him forever,” he warned, knowing that was really Loki’s plan. “But it’s only fair if he hears this from you.”  
  
Loki nodded and closed his eyes. Ast meowed and brushed up against him for attention. The god willingly gave it to him.  
  
“I’m going to let you rest. Do you need anything?”  
  
“No,” he whispered shaking his head. “Your help has been more than enough. Thank you.”  
  
He nodded as he rose and left the room.

  
  
\-------------------------------------------------  


“So what’s it like sleeping with an alien?” Darcy asked.  
  
“Not sure; ask Tasha,” Clint replied as he made himself coffee.  
  
The female assassin chucked one of her sausage links at his face.  
  
“What was that for?” he laughed wiping the grease from his cheek.  
  
“Oh, I’m sorry. I thought you enjoyed phallic things slapping your face,” she said in false apology.  
  
“Ouch, Natasha’s got her claws out!” he hissed putted up his fingers and imitating a coy scratching move. “She’s out for blood today.”  
  
“Captain America is an alien!?” Darcy gasped suddenly realising what Clint’s words had meant.  
  
“Yes,” Clint rolled his eyes as he turned his back to the nosy girl.  
  
“No,” Natasha sighed shaking her head. “Maybe to Clint, but then again being polite or mature have always been foreign or out of this world concepts to him.”  
  
“Oh!” he inhaled and rubbed at his chest. “Careful, next time you might accidentally hit a vital organ.”  
  
“Like you have a heart,” she rolled her eyes and stirred at the eggs in the pan she was working on.  
  
“There goes my spleen,” he laughed and took a drink from his coffee before setting it down and grabbing the black and white mug Loki had become emotionally attached too. He pulled out the box of tea from the cabinet and opened a packet just as the kettle whistled. He poured the hot water over the bag and let it sit, setting the kettle off to the side and picked up his mug again. “So Darcy, what do you do for a living?”  
  
“Live.”  
  
“Commendable answer,”  
  
“Thank you.”  
  
“So do you think you’ll continue to work for Jane?”  
  
“Maybe if she were to start paying me,”  
  
“You work for free?”  
  
“Well I also get to travel; eat crazy foods; be chased by giant super-secret organisations that want me dead; and I have a nice bed, so I guess it’s not all that bad, but money would be nice.”  
  
“Gosh I wish I had that sense of smarts when I was your age. I’d do a dirty dangerous job just for one hot tiny meal.”  
  
“Kids today,” Natasha tsked shaking her head as she buttered her toast.  
  
“I’m like twenty-two.”  
  
The other two assassins laughed as they shared a look.  
  
“Oh to be twenty-two,” Clint sighed and set his mug down, pulling the tea bag out of Loki’s cup and tossed it into the glass jar on the counter.  
  
“Why do you keep those?”  
  
“Loki’s orders.”  
  
“Do you do everything he tells you?”  
  
Clint smirked and stirred a teaspoon of the herbal syrup-mixture into the dark steaming liquid, stopping the remark he so desperately wanted to say. “He uses the leaves for spells and things,” he replied instead and very carefully.  
  
“That didn’t answer my question.”  
  
“That’s the answer you want, trust me,” Natasha advised.  
  
“Do you bat or pitch?”  
  
“Wow,” Clint said and stared at her a bit shocked. “You just have no filter do you?”  
  
“Not really,” she answered honestly with an unconcerned shrug. “It’s why I ended up getting the internship with Jane; no one else would take me. Also, _you’re_ one to talk.”  
  
Natasha bit her lips and kept her laughter down.  
  
“So what other internships did you apply for?” Steve asked, trying to get the conversation away from where it was heading.  
  
“A biology one, a medical one, an English one, a theatre one, and one that involved dressing as a man for a social experiment for several months. Now does he throw or catch?” she asked the soldier as she pointed at the archer.  
  
Steve covered his face with his hand as he set his fork down and tried to turn his brain off.  
  
“It’s not something he is interested in knowing, because he honestly feels it’s none of his business,” Natasha answered for him. “So are you almost done with school?”  
  
“Kind of yes and kind of no. I’ve been thinking about quitting and just working for Jane. It depends on if she pays me though.” Darcy quickly turned to Clint and demanded, “Do you pole or hole?”  
  
He laughed and stirred the oatmeal before putting it back in the microwave. “Never telling.”  
  
“Good afternoon,” Bruce said entering the kitchen.  
  
Everyone pitched in their greetings.  
  
“How are the kittens?” Darcy asked eagerly.  
  
“Good,” he said and then realised she wanted more. He cleared his throat. “Very…furry and…kitten-like.”  
  
“I knew it,” she whispered satisfied with his answer and went back to eating.  
  
Clint waited for Bruce to come closer before he quietly asked, “Is Loki…?”  
  
Bruce held a hand up to stop him and then patted his shoulder. “Yes. We talked it over. It seems the syrup helps, but it’s not a permanent solution.” The warning was a slap to Clint’s face. “We’re looking into other options though; backups,” he added quickly and then turned away from him, hoping he wouldn’t be pressed further on what that meant.  
  
“Darcy,” Jane sighed as she came into the kitchen. “You left your phone.”  
  
“I’m sorry,” she said and hurried to get it. “Oh!” she giggled excited and then began texting continuously.  
  
“Who’s the admirer?” Clint asked nosily.  
  
“What makes you think it’s that sort of text?” she asked innocently.  
  
“Your cheeks changed colour, your heart rate went up, and you smiled.”  
  
Darcy frowned at him. “How could you possibly know my heart rate went up?”  
  
“I can see your pulse jump on your neck,” he said and tapped the side of his to show her where he looked. “Assassin trick.”  
  
She put a hand over it offended. “Don’t.”  
  
“And you thought prying into my life like that was cool,” he pointed out.  
  
She narrowed her eyes at him and looked him over for a moment. “Truce?” she asked.  
  
“Truce,” he nodded and got out a tray. He set up a plate of food for himself and set it next to the bowl of oatmeal he’d made for Loki, before getting an apple, silverware, and their drinks. “See ya,” he said as he picked it up and headed back to his room.  
  
“Here,” Natasha said holding out handful of napkins.  
  
He paused and let her tuck them under the plate before continuing on. He set the tray down at the door and knocked on it. “It’s me,” he warned.  
  
“I have the cats,” Loki replied.  
  
Clint opened the door and entered with the tray, shutting it with his foot before coming over. “So how was it?” he asked putting the tray over Loki’s lap.  
  
“I can eat at the table,” he sighed.  
  
“I like bringing you breakfast in bed,” he pouted a little.  
  
Loki gave him a smile and then pulled a few more pillows behind him to help him sit up. “What do we have here?”  
  
“Simple and easy,” he said hopefully; “Maple and brown sugar oatmeal, an apple, and tea.”  
  
Loki hummed and picked up his spoon. “And you remembered napkins,” he smiled at him. “It’s perfect, thank you,” he said and leaned forward a little with his lips pursed.  
  
Clint kissed him and went around to sit next to him. He took his plate up and began eating it. “Feeling better?”  
  
“Yes,” Loki nodded and swallowed his mouthful. “To answer your first question: it went well.”  
  
“Yeah?”  
  
“Yes, we just talked,” he said simply and continued eating.  
  
Clint was a little disappointed Loki wouldn’t say more, but then he realised it would have been like that with any other doctor. He had to trust Loki knew Bruce had told him enough, so he wasn’t going to waste time repeating himself.  
  
“So good news,” he decided to change the subject.  
  
“Yes?”  
  
“Darcy and I called a truce. She’ll no longer be asking about our sex life.”  
  
“Was this a problem before?”  
  
“Sort of?” he shrugged with a frown as he thought about it. “I mean, I’ve never been private about such and I know you’ve stated it’s not a taboo thing on Asgard, but I guess…I don’t want everyone to know the details. Y’know? I just want those secrets to be with us.” He caught the god’s eye and they smiled at one another. “Now,” he continued on quickly to clarify. “I don’t care if they hear us, in fact I hope they do, because I want them to die with jealousy; but when it comes to…places you’re most sensitive, or positions we each favour, maybe even costumes,” he added with a wicked grin. Loki’s smile turned positively devious. “Yeah, I don’t want that to be anyone else’s business, but ours.”  
  
“What if I am out and one of them spies me purchasing something?”  
  
“Okay, if that’s the case then that happens. It’s whatever. But other than that, I don’t want anyone else to know what your face looks like the second you cum.”  
  
“You keep talking like this and I won’t be able to finish breakfast,” Loki warned.  
  
Clint laughed and gave an unsyruped egg bit to Jareth. The kitten took it and raced to the end of the bed, where he ate it greedily and licked his chops happily.  
  
Loki took the sharp knife and cut a slice from his apple. He noticed Ast was lying next to him, just minding his own business, not begging or anything. He found it a tiny bit odd; however he continued to cut a few more slices. He prepared a piece, making sure it did not have the skin or the undesirable part nearest the core, before setting it before the cat’s nose.  
  
Ast’s ears perked up and he lifted his head to sniff it. He began eating the apple bit and purred contently.  
  
“What terrible habits we’ve gotten them used to,” Loki said softly and ate a piece of the apple.  
  
“Yeah…” he sighed and pushed Jareth away from his plate again, as the kitten attempted to kidnap his sausage link. “Man I gave you a treat, why do you have to push it?” he whispered and lifted the kitten with one hand as he used the other to eat.  
  
Loki laughed at them: Jareth squirming a bit and watching as the food went into Clint’s mouth, and Clint trying to enjoy his breakfast and ignore the cat.  
  
“Fine,” Clint sighed after a minute and set the cat down, he sucked the syrup off the end of one of the links and gave the tiny bit to Jareth. “Get out of here.”  
  
Jareth rushed to the food of the bed and ate his treat before going to Loki to see what he had to offer.  
  
“Apple?” Loki offered to him. Jareth sniffed and then stretched up further to see what was in the bowl. “No dear,” Loki said gently moving him back down.  
  
Jareth meowed sadly.  
  
“I know, but all I have is an apple,”  
  
“So since you have like special powers and magic, you are basically talking to them, right?” he asked curiously.  
  
“Don’t you basically talk to them?”  
  
“I mean like, you know what they really want,”  
  
Loki laughed. “No one really knows what they want, but yes, I read their auras.”  
  
“Is it hard?”  
  
“Fairly easy,” he shrugged.  
  
“Do you read people’s auras?”  
  
“Most of the time,”  
  
“What’s mine like?”  
  
“Ever changing,”  
  
“Right now then,”  
  
Loki looked at Clint. He blinked slowly and focused his energy, opening himself up to the world around him. Colours, patterns, and shifting waves crawled at different speeds around him. Clint radiated a multitude of colours: clear reds; pink bright dots; stripes of pale yellows; shining gold patches and lemony yellows mixing with greens; and blues from the brightest to the muddiest danced with violets, swirling with silver and white distorted heart shapes.  
  
“What do you see?” he smiled waiting for an answer. Certain colours flashed brighter than others suddenly.  
  
“You’re powerful, passionate, sexual, sensitive, artistic, in a newly forming relationship, awakening spiritually, very optimistic, hopeful, a great lover of your friends and family, a healer, and you have heart,” he laughed a little.  
  
“Yeah?” he grinned.  
  
“You are intuitive and nurturing; truthful and pure,”  
  
“I don’t know about that last one,” Clint muttered. “I did just ask if I could put my tongue in your ass the other night when we went over preferences in bed.”  
  
Loki laughed loudly. “You can be pure of soul and heart. It’s more of intentions, not in regards to how deviously intimate one is.”  
  
“My intentions towards you are still not pure,” he replied. “Sometimes, but most of the time we’re having sex in my head.”  
  
Loki shook his head and rolled his eyes. “You’re silly.”  
  
Clint shrugged with a childish grin. “You can’t say you don’t think about that.”  
  
“I shall never deny such; however, as I’ve said before, intentions. You’re daily actions and desire to protect people are what make you pure.”  
  
“Glad that cancels out some of the weird kinky shit,”  
  
Loki started laughing, shaking his head as he let it go. He knew Clint understood what he meant and was only giving him a hard time in good fun.  
  
“Is that all?” he asked.  
  
Loki looked at him again. “There is an earthy tone to your aura…you’re fond of nature and have a strong will to live simply.”  
  
“Yep,” he nodded.  
  
Loki frowned and tilted his head.  
  
“What?” Clint asked sitting up a bit.  
  
“Nothing,” he shook his head and looked away.  
  
“What is it? Do I have something bad? Is there like a black spot?”  
  
“It’s fine,” he insisted.  
  
“I’m not going to be upset if you see something bad. Natasha said you saw her past through her aura. It’s fine, we can talk about those things. Remember?”  
  
Loki looked at Clint and then down at his food. “There is a…darkness around some of the colours.”  
  
“And…?” he prompted fearlessly.  
  
“It suggests you’re struggling to maintain power. You fear losing control in either your personal life or work…respect…sometimes you feel powerless against whatever forces you are up against.”  
  
“That’s not so bad,” he shrugged.  
  
Loki looked up at him curiously. “No?”  
  
“Yeah, I think that’s a part of life; y’know?”  
  
“Oh,” he watched his spoon swirl around the cooling oatmeal. “I was worried you’d be upset at me knowing such. I felt as though I were being intrusive.”  
  
“We share parts of our minds,” he shrugged, a little taken aback by his confession. “Why would I ever be upset at you for that?”  
  
Loki shrugged feeling guilty.  
  
“Hey,” Clint said gently and got his attention. He smiled at him. “I plan on spending the rest of my life with you. There are going to be parts that are going to be awesome, parts one of us is going to be forever embarrassed by, and parts that are going to suck. It’s cool if you see an energy or aura that isn’t all hunky-dory. I’m sure if I could see yours I’d see many of the things you described for me –” Loki huffed and rolled his eyes at that. “– and then a shit ton of self-doubt stuff – yeah roll your eyes. You know, you know it!” he grinned pointing at him. “You know deep down you’re amazing, you’ve just been taught to not let yourself think so, and you shouldn’t feel guilty for that. Everyone has doubts.”  
  
Loki’s mouth twitched into a small smile and he held out his hand. Clint took it and the god gave it a squeeze. “You are…so pure.”  
  
The archer started laughing again. “Babe, I just had seven thoughts that I’m sure are sending me on a train to Hell faster than Hitler’s went.”  
  
“Anything interesting?” Loki asked in a curious flirtatious manner.  
  
He hummed and licked his lips. “If having sex on the couch in the living room and the kitchen counter when no one is around counts…”  
  
Loki started laughing and pulled a little on Clint’s hand to get him to come closer for a kiss. “You are…so _red_ right now,” he said holding the sides of his face.  
  
“Yeah?” he asked wagging his eyebrows.  
  
“Ah, there is the flashes of orange,” he chuckled. “So much,” he inhaled deeply and thought about it. “Sensuality.”  
  
“Oh,” he shivered. “Say that word again.”  
  
Loki grinned and leaned in toward his ear. “Sensuality,” he repeated.  
  
Clint moaned and held the god’s arms. “Once more,” he begged.  
  
Loki nuzzled his nose and mouth upon his ear, hitched his breath just so, and whispered, “Sensuality,” as if he were in the heat of an intense sexual moment.  
  
Clint bit gently at his neck and groaned.  
  
There was the feel of one of the cats moving on their legs and then quickly away.  
  
“Dammit Jareth!” Clint hissed and set his plate on the tray to hurry after him. “You little shit! Give it back.”  
  
Jareth hurried to hide under the bed with the half of sausage link he’d stolen.  
  
Clint got down on his knees and reached for him but just missed him. He sighed and popped his head up over the side. “So…that had syrup on it…”  
  
“I’m sure a little of it won’t hurt him,” Loki reasoned.  
  
“Yeah…good thing they’re turkey right? Cats can’t have pork, right? I read that the other day when I was researching this natural diet thing.”  
  
“I’ve never known a cat to enjoy such meat so I can’t say if they can or not,” he replied honestly.  
  
“Oh…well…” he shrugged and then sat back down and took up his plate again. “You’re the favourite child,” he said to Ast.  
  
Ast just stared at him in a manner that showed his disinterest in the whole affair.  
  
“Yeah I like you, we’ll keep you and give Jareth to Tasha,” Clint decided.  
  
Jareth’s head popped up near Loki’s side. He mowed curiously.  
  
“No we don’t want you, go away. You’re being sold problem child.”  
  
“Hush,” Loki chided and reached for the kitten, who struggled up the bed and came willingly to him. Loki snuggled him up close to his chest and pressed kisses to his face. “Oh my pretty boy, you are just the trickiest little trickster, aren’t you.”  
  
Jareth meowed.  
  
“Don’t encourage it,”  
  
“A God of Mischief who does not encourage mischief?” he scoffed. “Whoever heard of such a thing?”  
  
Jareth meowed.  
  
“Yes,” he nodded. “You do smell like sausage and syrup,” he chuckled and gave him lots of pets until he was at full-on purr and lying snuggly against his chest.  
  
“Are you just gonna take that?” Clint asked Ast.  
  
The cat yawned and curled up, ignoring him.  
  
“Outnumbered,” Clint sighed and shook his head.  
  
Loki laughed and whispered to Jareth. “And he wants to meet my other children? Say, ‘no he’d be outnumbered for sure then. Not now, not now’.”  
  
“One of them is statistically bound to like and side with me,” he reasoned. “It’ll take a while, but I’m sure of it.”  
  
“I’d say the twins more likely. They’re very friendly,” Loki decided thinking on it.  
  
“No one else?”  
  
“The triplets have always been very independent; Sleipnir will take a liking to whoever is kind of heart; Grim is a little more reserved and cautious; and I need Esgar to help make his father’s life miserable sometimes,” he beamed. “You can’t take him from me, I assure you. He’s a perfect mother’s boy.”  
  
“Is his dad a deadbeat?”  
  
“No, Ernmund has actually been the very best one could hope for in a friend who happens to also be the father to one of your brood. I just enjoy making him miserable because he does the same. We have a rather odd sort of friendship.”  
  
“I feel a little jealous,”  
  
“Why?”  
  
“I don’t know…but I feel like he and I are going to either be the best of bros or be forever locked in a pissing contest.”  
  
Loki laughed. “Yes, you both are similar in many regards.”  
  
“In bed?” he asked quickly.  
  
“Ernmund is a bit more traditional when it comes to that. The most adventurous we got sexually was rutting in the gardens occasionally and him letting me be on top. Other than that it was missionary or hands and knees, always in bed.”  
  
“He didn’t trade off?”  
  
“Are you asking if he ever let me take the more dominate role?”  
  
“Yeah,”  
  
“No, that wasn’t how our relationship worked. When we first met he thought I was a female. I thought when he found the truth he’d forgo any more intimate activities, however I became an exception.”  
  
“So the only dude he’s ever been with is you?”  
  
“Yes, well,” he sighed, thinking about it. “He tried once, just to be sure, but he never made it further than some petting.”  
  
“Huh…that’s interesting,”  
  
“I thought so as well,”  
  
“I wonder if it’s because you birthed his child,”  
  
“I’ve speculated such. We were together for a long time, that sort of trust and familiarity is rightfully earned and often not easily gained.”  
  
“I’m glad we have the bond then; I’d hate to imagine trying to get you to believe me without being able to use it.”  
  
“Yes,” Loki said slowly.  
  
“What?” he asked noticing he was withholding something.  
  
Loki shook his head slowly.  
  
“You know I’d still love you even without the bond, right?”  
  
“Yes,” he nodded his head and looked at him. “I am fully aware of such. We’ve spoken about it quite a bit.”  
  
“Do you just need to keep that secret for a while longer then?”  
  
Loki regarded him for several moments before looking down at Jareth. “Yes.”  
  
“Okay,” he nodded and continued eating. “Oh man,” he groaned. “That was the last sausage too.” He shot a glare at the kitten who innocently meowed at him. “Don’t use your adorable against me.”  
  
“Use it,” Loki whispered to him. “Use it wisely and often.”  
  
Clint laughed. “God I love you so much,” he sighed and stared at Loki in such a loving manner that it made the god flush with pride. It took him a few minutes to summon the gumption to look directly at Clint. When he did they both shared a wide smile and finished eating.  
  
When they were done Clint packed up the tray.  “Got any plans today?”  
  
“Perhaps some exercise, maybe finishing a few projects, and then I’ll spend the evening pleasuring myself until you are free to do so,” he finished offhandedly in hopes to entice the archer.  
  
Clint froze; his mouth slowly spreading into a wide smile. “Yeah?” he cleared his throat. “Sounds like a lot of work; especially that last one. I hope you don’t get _too_ tired.”  
  
“The only person who can tire me out in such a manner is you,” he reassured and looked at Clint, tilting his head and smiling in a manner he knew drove the archer crazy.  
  
“God,” he nearly growled as he bent down and set a hand at the back of Loki’s head. “You are so…” he didn’t have the words, so he tangled his fingers in Loki’s hair and kissed him; hoping the action would convey what he couldn’t say aloud.  
  
Loki hummed and felt joy rise within him. He was so elated that Clint was starting to physically open up to him again. His body itched for his touch. The foot rubs the other night were wonderful and a great start back into where they had been before, but he needed more. They both could spout all of the sonnets in the universe to one another, give the most thoughtful, expensive, or homemade gifts from their hearts, but nothing sowed and nourished the seed of love and trust within them as their physical intimacy did. There was nowhere else he felt safer, more loved, or perfect than in Clint’s embrace.  
  
His hand found Clint’s shirt collar and he sighed as he held on for dear life as he let Clint’s kiss sweep him away.  
  
There was a knock on the door. Loki expected Clint to stop and answer it, but he firmly ignored it. The knock came again after a few moments and Loki pulled back. He licked his lips and caught his breath.  
  
“The…the door,” he whispered and glanced at it.  
  
“I know,” he sighed and stole a quick kiss before going to answer it.  
  
“Hello,” Thor said. “I didn’t mean to wake or interrupt you both.”  
  
“Nah it’s fine,” Clint shrugged and glanced over his shoulder at Loki. “I was just coming back down. What’s up?”  
  
“I wished to inquire after my brother,” he said, lowering his voice in case someone outside of the three of them was listening in.  
  
“Um,”  
  
_I’m fine. I’m resting right now._  
  
“He’s fine,” Clint reassured confidently. “He just went back to sleep a second ago.”  
  
“Oh,” Thor said feeling guilty. “I hope my knocking didn’t –”  
  
“It didn’t, in fact I didn’t hear them until the second.” Clint said and then held up a finger to pause their conversation. He hurried to get the tray. _Love you,_ he said and kissed Loki’s forehead before going back to the door. “So, how was patrol?” he asked as he left the room, Thor politely getting the door for him.  
  
“Very good,” he beamed and followed him.  
  
Loki sighed heavily and looked down at the kittens. Jareth was chewing on a pen he’d found and Ast was grooming himself. Loki gently took the pen away before getting up and starting his day.  
  
Meditating proved difficult, the darkness bounced too noisily around in his mind; his stretches where pleasant enough, even when the kittens pounced and climbed all over him; his knitting came along nicely, the sweater he’d started for Ast was complete and fit him perfectly with a little more room for him to grow into; and his research of Midgardian history and lore proved uneventful, but insightful. He fed the kittens and noticed they were running low on their food supply.  
  
“How much can you little ones eat?” he chuckled, knowing full well how ravenous children could be. He rubbed under Ast’s chin as the kitten purred, licking his chops after savouring the delicious feast. Jareth finished the small bits of food and then brushed his face against Loki’s hand for affection. Loki petted him with the other hand, giving them plenty of love, before taking up the dish. “I shall return later,” he promised as he slipped from the room.  
  
He headed down to the kitchen and found Darcy. She was on her laptop and cursing under her breath. “No!” she hissed and jabbed at the keyboard. “Fuck!”  
  
“What’s wrong?” Steve aske as he finished reading the paper.  
  
“This douche shat!” she sighed and then leaned back throwing her hands in the air. “I QUIT! I hate people!” she declared. “Real people suck. I’m not playing with them anymore!”  
  
“I’m guessing it’s an online game?” Steve asked.  
  
“Yeah and it’s awful. I hate this game. I hate it so much! I wish it never existed!”  
  
“Then why don’t you stop playing it?” he suggested.  
  
“What?” she asked and gave him a look as though he had lobsters sprouting from his ears. “What are you crazy!? I can’t stop playing this game! This game is my life! I can’t live without it!”  
  
“But you just…” Steve stopped and shook his head. “Never mind.”  
  
“Can you believe this guy?” she asked Loki, who was washing the kitten’s food dish off in the sink. “Saying I should stop playing. Psh! Insane!”  
  
“How unthinkable,” Loki agreed. “But we must remember he’s probably never played a game as such. We can’t fault him for not understanding.”  
  
“I’ve played games,” Steve said.  
  
“Yeah?” Darcy pressed. “Like?”  
  
“Lots of games. I was just playing the thing Tony bought before he left. That game with the guns and you can jump in the air. And shoot things.”  
  
“What’s it called?” she demanded crossing her arms.  
  
“Uh…” he fumbled trying to remember. “Um…something…”  
  
“Yes?” she pressed.  
  
“I don’t remember; I didn’t even know how to use the controls. Thor had to show me.”  
  
Loki laughed. “Call of Duty,” he supplied, remembering watching them play.  
  
“That’s it,” Steve said relieved.  
  
“Hey!” Darcy snipped. “Don’t help him!”  
  
“Apologies,” Loki said and set the dish to dry in the wrack on the counter. He noticed a few more dishes so he decided to wash those as well.  
  
“We have a new dishwasher,” Darcy said once she noticed what he was doing. “I’m surprised this one hasn’t fanboy gushed all over it again,” she said motioning toward Rogers.  
  
“It’s a very impressive machine, yet I find washing by hand to help me think,” Loki explained.  
  
“Did you know that?” Darcy asked Steve.  
  
“Yes, that’s why I didn’t say anything,” he said and tapped on the table a few times. He frowned. “Why isn’t this working?”  
  
“You have to tap it right,” Darcy said leaning forward and double tapped to show him. A welcome log-in screen for Stark’s private servers showed up. “You’re taking too long or going too fast. It’s a steady double tap.”  
  
“Oh, thank you,”  
  
“No problem,” she said and went back to her screen. She began fiercely typing something then.  
  
Steve couldn’t figure out how to bring up the keyboard once he’d logged in, so he just tapped on things until he found the solitaire game.  
  
“Old people,” Darcy whispered with a smile as she shook her head.  
  
“Hm?” he asked looking up.  
  
“Nothing,” she replied.  
  
“Oh,” he said and went back to what he was doing.  
  
Loki chuckled and continued with his work. He had just set the last dish in the drying rack when his ears picked out a noise. It was faint and he had to turn the water off and focus his energy before he realised it wasn’t just Darcy’s computer, someone’s television, or the hustle of the city around the mansion. It was soft, broken, and…familiar.  
  
He hurried from the kitchen and moved from room to room, seeking the melodic sound out. It wasn’t in the front of the house, or the side nearest the kitchen. It wasn’t near the back door or the stairwell that lead to the training areas. It was to the left behind the grand stair.  
  
Loki found a hallway. It was a tiny narrow thing with a few old pictures that still had the dust coverings over them and it looked as though no one had bothered to go down there and clean, even though Stark had instructed they did with the other areas of the house. He carefully walked down the dark hall and found all the doors closed and locked, save for the one at the very end. It stood slightly ajar, the noise flowing from within in an inviting manner.  
  
The person went from the choppy bits they had been playing before and started stringing phrases together. It was…peaceful and Loki closed his eyes and swallowed as he remembered the first time he had heard this tune.  
  
It made his heartache and he gripped the doorframe tightly as memories of kind eyes; infectious laughter; strong arms; gentle hands; passionate kisses; and a love that was so intense, so intimate, and so…forgivingly perfect, came to him.  
  
Loki could still smell the herbs as they dried overhead; he could hear the sound of the river babbling along outside the windows; he could feel the gentle wind moving through the house when they’d leave the heavy animal hide, which covered the door, back and the shutters opened; how the dirt felt under his bare feet and knees as they planted seeds into the earth; he remembered the pattering of the thunderstorm rain on the roof as they lay in bed; warm arms around him, lips lovingly pressing across his shoulders in comfort…a firm body behind him…the feel of his legs sliding against his as he moved a little in the night. He felt the warmth of the sun on his face and sleepy kisses in the morning; the crispy smell when it was between seasons and the leaves around them changed; how they added blankets to snuggle under and more wood to the fire; the heat of their sex; the weight of him; the feel of the bed dipping and rocking with them; the sound of their joy; of whispered proud vows of love…  
  
There was a wrong note struck and he opened his eyes suddenly as he was swiftly yanked into the present. The echoes of his past faded like smoke around him and he shivered as he settled back into the cold emptiness they left for him.  
  
“Damn…” Clint hissed from inside the room. He began working out the last few measures again and then pushed on the key a few times: “It’s e flat, Barton. E flat. E flat, not E natural. Flat. Flat. Flat.” He sighed and rubbed at his face before going back to the beginning of the line to pick up where he had been. He corrected the error and continued on. The sound wasn’t perfect, Loki could tell that the instrument needed desperately to be cleaned and tuned; however, even with the off coloured notes and the sound of strings and hammers on their last legs, the music that Barton pulled from it was just _so_ beautiful.  
  
He quietly pushed the door opened a little and stepped into the room. Clint didn’t turn or make any indication that he’d noticed his audience, but from the way his body moved and his head swayed Loki didn’t think he was really paying attention. He didn’t even think the archer had his eyes opened.  
  
Clint hit another wrong note and he tensed for a moment. He went back and tried again. His fingers fumbled and he lost the voice of the piece again. He went to play the note and instead of a simple middle C ringing out, a loud snapping bang resounded in the room causing both of them to jump.  
  
“Fuck,” he whispered and then groaned as he pulled at his face frustrated.  
  
Loki smirked and began slowly clapping. “Perfect,” he smiled.  
  
Clint turned to him and watched as the mage slowly walked forward. He blushed and rolled his eyes as he turned back around and shook his head. “Nah…I wish it had been.”  
  
“I thought it was rather wonderful,” Loki commented and sat when the archer moved over a bit to allow him the room on the bench. “Especially that finale,” he added looking at him with amusement.  
  
“Yes, every pianist loves the sound of a sturdy string or two snapping. Most especially if it’s middle C.”  
  
“Oh yes, I do love it when that string breaks,” Loki sarcastically replied with joy. Clint glared at him for a moment before he laughed. Loki joined in, quietly and leaned forward a little, his hands gripping the bench next to his legs. “In all honesty, before it broke, you were playing beautifully.”  
  
“Eh, it needed work. A lot of it. And not just because it’s not tuned. It’s just been so long…” he looked down at his hands and rubbed his thumbs over his fingertips a few times.  
  
“When did you learn to play the fortepiano?”  
  
“The pianoforte?” he cleared his throat and shifted a little as he sat up. Loki raised a curious brow at the name, but kept silent to let the archer think about his answer. “I started when I was five. I didn’t touch it for a while after my mother passed, but there was this woman in the circus that had a harpsichord and she finished teaching me. It’s very different than the piano, it has this pick thing on it and the tone is completely different, but I mean it’s the same basic concept. She only played on a real piano when we performed in concert hall venues.”  
  
“She sounds very nice,” Loki said with a smile and tried picturing a younger Clint struggling to master the basic concepts of the stringed instrument.  
  
“Yeah, I mean,” he bit his lip and nervously rubbed at the back of his neck as a dark shadow fell over him. “She was…alright…I mean if I didn’t do something right or made too many mistakes while she was instructing me I had to…but,” he sniffed and turned his face away from Loki, uncomfortable with talking about such dark things so suddenly “I-I only wanted to learn because my mother knew how to play and s-so I thought that, if I could do it, then she’d at least, y’know be proud of me from…heaven or wherever people go when they die.”  
  
Loki’s face fell and he shifted on the bench, straddling it so that he could face the archer. He wrapped his arms around him and pulled him closer. He pressed his lips to his cheek as he tangled the fingers of one hand into Clint’s hair. “I’m fairly certain your mother has always been proud of you.”  
  
“Yeah,” he said pumping his fist with no gusto and tried a nervous laugh that sounded too fake for comfort. “Mom’s little dick sucker. Mom’s little assassin. Mom’s little man who’s…” He patted his hands on his knees anxiously and bit at his bottom lip. “My mother wanted me to follow my dreams…she always told us to keep striving for what we wanted in life. Do good along the way, but make sure we never stopped until we reached our goal. We had to get to the top of the mountain…” he cleared his throat and looked down at his lap.  
  
“What is your dream?”  
  
“It’s dead,” he shook his head.  
  
“No,” Loki shook his and leaned his head down to try and get the archer to look at him. “Clint, what is your dream?”  
  
“It’s stupid.”  
  
“Tell me,” he insisted with a gentle smile.  
  
Clint looked at him and worried his lip a bit before he looked back down at his fidgeting fingers. “I wanted…I wanted to be a,” he mumbled the last few words and rubbed at his nose embarrassed.  
  
“A what?” Loki smiled and leaned in closer. Clint mumbled the last two words again. “I couldn’t hear you,” he said teasingly.  
  
“A figure skater!” he raised his voice and turned his face to say it Loki’s. The god brought his face back away from him a little, but never lost his smile. Once the archer had stopped shouting and had relaxed a bit, Loki leaned forward and kissed him.  
  
“I’d love to watch you skate,” he said and kissed him again.  
  
Clint pulled back and looked his face over, not certain if he was being made fun of or actually being supported. “Seriously?”  
  
“Honestly,” he said and gave his lips another kiss.  
  
“Well then I’ll have you know that I also wanted to be a gymnast, a grand master in Tae Kwon Do, a dancer, a chef, an astronaut, and an actor.”  
  
“My you had so many dreams for yourself,” he chuckled.  
  
“Yeah and a few unrealistic ones,”  
  
“Such as?”  
  
“Doctor, chemist, cat herder, clown, and professional bouncy house tester.”  
  
Loki through his head back and laughed, “A doctor!”  
  
“I know,” Clint nodded and widened his eyes. “Can you imagine me trying to cut someone open or give the word for them to be brutally stabbed with a needle?”  
  
“The idea is simply absurd.”  
  
“Glad you realise it. I told that to Natasha and she wanted to enrol me in medical school right away.”  
  
“Well I’m glad she didn’t,” Loki said and pulled Clint’s face close to him again so that he could kiss his cheek as he played with his hair.  
  
“Me too, I’d have probably died by now. Or failed out.” He looked at the god and they chuckled, enjoying the intimacy of the moment and each other’s smiles. He put his arms around Loki and kissed him. “I’ve missed this smile.”  
  
His lips twitched, embarrassed and self-conscious. Clint reached up and booped his nose with a gentle finger. Loki’s mouth couldn’t stop from breaking into a grin then. He lifted his face and tried nipping at it. Clint let him and bit at his bottom lip a little as he watched the god gently nibble on the pad of his finger. He flicked his tongue out and then pulled it into his mouth to suck on a bit.  
  
“Want to hear another one of my life-long dreams?” he asked watching the mage intently. Loki hummed curiously and continued to teasingly swirl his tongue around the digit and suck on it suggestively. “Fucking someone on a piano.”  
  
“With or without someone playing it?” he asked as he let the finger slide from his mouth.  
  
Clint moved forward and kissed him. God did he love him. He loved his brilliant devious mind; his wickedly captivating lips; his kindly curious eyes; and his sexual mischievous nature. Clint wanted him there and now. Or he wanted to be taken; it didn’t matter, so long as someone was fucked against the keys. Normally he’d be opposed to doing such a thing, but it was damaged and needed new strings and a tune; it didn’t matter if someone was fucked against it until it broke, and damn was that what he wanted.  
  
He pulled Loki closer and transferred two images in his mind along with the gentle nudge of a question: him against the instrument or Loki?  
  
The god inhaled and wrapped his arms around his neck as he began moving into Clint’s lap, giving him his answer. He leaned back and a loud clustered unflattering burst of sound erupted from behind him as his rear landed on the keys. He jumped forward in surprise and Clint chuckled as he moved to kissing his neck.  
  
Loki waved a hand and the lid fell down with a bang and a puff of dust. The archer pushed him back against it and started undoing the couple of buttons at the very top of his long sleeve shirt. Loki held Clint’s collar and watched as he covered his exposed skin in kisses. He looked up at him as he pulled his shirt down a bit and flicked his tongue over a nipple.  
  
“This isn’t going to hinder your plans, is it?” he flirted. “Or have you spent enough time pleasuring yourself without me.”  
  
“No,” he chuckled and licked his lips as he watched him draw it into his mouth to gently suck on. “This is the prelude, darling.”  
  
Clint chuckled and continued to shower him with kisses. “Great…because I’ve had a good majority of the day to plan stuff out.”  
  
Loki felt his skin tighten and his body crawl with need. He gasped when Clint gently began sucking on it. The feel of his mouth pulling at such a tender part of him shot sharply down to his loins and he ached to be filled. “The day is barely over love,” he reminded trying not to moan too loudly.  
  
Clint released it and dragged his tongue over it slowly. Loki shivered and tilted Barton’s face up a little more so he could kiss him. They both removed his long sleeve and Clint’s top. Loki ran his hands over his bare chest and bent to press kisses along his shoulders. Barton slipped his hands down into his pants. His cold fingers tickled and brought goose bumps over the god’s skin and he shuddered and started rolling his hips against him slowly.  
  
They kissed and let their hands roam, tension building to the point that Loki was rocking against Clint, his hand stuffed down the front of the archer’s opened pants as he stroked his member and one of Clint’s hands slipped down between his cheeks, rubbing at his hole teasingly.  
  
Loki hurried to stand and got out of his pants as quickly as possible and sat back on Clint’s lap. He ruffled up his hair as he moaned and pressed himself against his warm body, desperately trying to get as much contact as he could as he kissed him. Clint held him tightly against him for a bit before he leaned down and covered his chest in kisses; his mouth gently sucking and tongue licking Loki occasionally to keep his needs on a steady upward climb. The god let his head drop back and didn’t bother stifling his noises of appreciation now. They weren’t as loud as they could have been, but it was still wonderful to moan and sigh loudly as he watched Clint’s eyes burn with need.  
  
The archer held Loki’s body supportively as he leaned forward to plant warm long kisses on his upper chest. He nipped a little at Loki’s throat and then kissed him deeply. Loki hummed, highly pleased, and wiggled out of his lap and to the floor. He knelt and pulled at Clint’s pants a bit to get his member free. He stroked it firmly a few times and then began blowing him. He knew they couldn’t stand for teasing tricks at the moment, so he put those aside.  
  
Clint swore and leaned back a bit, watching him bob his head up and down, pausing every so often to drag his tongue along his head and then take him back into his mouth as far as he could. He could feel when he swallowed even and it drove him crazy. He opened his legs more when Loki dug into his pants again for his sac and began sucking on it while he stroked him.  
  
Loki’s gaze was so intimidating; Clint felt as though he was about to be eaten alive. In truth he didn’t mind so much, so long as Loki never stopped. He let his head drop back and swore again as he squeezed his eyes shut, holding onto the piano before him as he leaned a little further back.  
  
The god smirked and ceased in his actions in favour of climbing back into his lab. The archer pulled him close and kissed him, groaning deeply as Loki wrapped himself tightly around him, moving against him a little.  
  
Clint sucked on Loki’s bottom lip as the god pulled back a bit to look down at him. He ran his fingers along his hole; not being overly rough, but not being particularly gentle either. Loki growled and kissed him again, deeper this time, pulling at Clint’s hair. The archer rubbed his fingers to activate the spell and hurried to ease a finger in. Loki sighed and leaned up a bit, letting Clint’s mouth move down his chest and back up as he sank down onto his finger with a groan.  
  
“Tell me when you think you’re ready for a second,” he said and began moving his finger, trying to open him up quickly. Loki rolled and swung his hips to help the archer as he continued to kiss him fervently. When he couldn’t stand it any longer he reached for Clint’s hand and pushed it away so that he could pull it between them and guided them back to his hole. He pushed on two of his fingers and shifted to help ease them in. Clint carefully moved them in and out, slowly scissoring at his tight ring until it was easier to push them in and out.  
  
“Clint,” he moaned and held his shoulders a little tightly. His legs shook a bit as Clint’s fingers pushed up into him, brushing near his prostate, pulling needy whimpering sounds out of him. “Please,” he begged and kissed him over and over again.  
  
Clint hummed and slipped a third finger in. Loki groaned in satisfaction. “God you’re so beautiful,” he whispered and kissed his burning cheeks as he took in the sight of him.  
  
“More,” he whispered. “Please.”  
  
Clint removed his fingers and stroked his own length. Loki helped him and when he was firmer, he quickly positioned himself. Clint hurried to hold his hips and tried to help him, but the god’s entrance was on his head and his heat was so blissful…Clint just wanted to thrust up and quickly be wrapped in that fantastic perfect feeling. It’d been a while since they had and damn he was so tight again! He groaned as he entered Loki.  
  
Loki tried taking his time moving up and down, relaxing as the seconds ticked by. He kept control in the speed, trying to be mindful of how he moved so he wouldn’t clench up too much on Clint. He didn’t stop moving until he was nearly fully seated and Clint was deep within him. That’s when he took over, carefully leaning Loki back so he could thrust his hips up. The god gasped and gripped his shoulders, moaning and messing up his hair as sparks swept from his lower half up. He could faintly feel how tight and hot he was and his hand flew down to grip himself tightly. His other hand flew behind him and landed on the covered keys.  
  
He needed more, and with the way the seat was and the angle Clint was sitting, Loki knew if he wanted deeper he needed to move. He carefully set a foot upon the bench on one side of Clint and kept his other bent, the sides of the bench digging into his leg. He leaned back with both of his hands and lost himself to the amazing sensations assaulting his person as he bounced upon the archer in near abandonment. It wasn’t enough so he tried planting his other foot like the first. He couldn’t find decide upon a position he favoured the most, shifting his legs up and down until Clint pushed on one of them to stay kneeling and the other to have his foot firmly planted on the bench, opposite to what he had started with before. It helped angle him better for Clint to go deeper, as he shifted to the front of the bench, and for him to move a little faster.  
  
He let his head fall back and arched up with a deep noise of satisfaction as Clint’s length struck and pushed against and along all of the perfect places within him. “Clint!” he gasped.  
  
“Yeah baby,” he encouraged leaning forward a bit to press kisses to his beautiful body. “God you’re so fucking beautiful…”  
  
Loki groaned and so did the bench. The sound of splintering wood made them pause, much against both of their desires.  
  
“It’s fine,” Clint promised and had Loki carefully stand up. He rose as well and pushed his pants down a bit more before kicking the seat away and pulled the god close. He kissed him deeply and then spun him around. Loki put his hands upon the key lid and bent in two, widening his legs and watched Clint from over his shoulder.  
  
The archer squeezed and kneaded his cheeks as he admired the view. Loki felt himself flush with pride at it and moved back just a touch in hopes to entice Clint to have him again.  
  
Clint massaged his hips and then positioned and pushed himself back in before starting up a steady pace. Loki moved with him and before long Clint was just standing there running his fingers through his hair as he watched Loki fuck himself. The sight of the god eagerly rocking, pounding himself along Clint’s length, the feel of his muscles tightening and relaxing as his excitement grew, his length disappearing between his round cheeks and reappearing at such a fast pace, his noises, and god damn his skin morphing into the smooth elegant Jötunn blue –  
  
“Fuck!” Clint hissed and grabbed at Loki’s hips, forcing him back upon his member and leaned forward to get him to pause for a moment. Loki cried out and moved forward to try and give himself space again, he didn’t want to stop, he wanted more. The archer didn’t give him it. He continued to push him forward until he was awkwardly squished into the front of the piano, one arm around Loki’s lower half, the other around his neck; his mouth right at the god’s ear, Clint’s breath hot and heavy; his hips giving hard short jerks, pushing his member deeper into him. Loki tensed and then relaxed, letting his cheek press to the cool dusty surface of the piano as he gave a sharp gasp for each thrust.  
  
Clint’s other hand moved down his body and pulled one of his legs up to rest upon the lid as he gave one more hard thrust. Loki let out a long gasp and then groaned as Clint let go of him and paused to let him adjust to this new position he’d gotten them into.  
  
Loki ran his fingers through his hair and looked over his shoulder at Clint. The archer kissed him, keeping a firm hand upon his thigh to hold it in place, his other coming to rest just loosely against Loki’s throat.  
  
The god set one hand over Clint’s at his neck and one on the very top edge of the piano. He arched his body and moaned as he started moving again.  
  
“Thank you!” he gasped and kept kissing the archer. “Thank you…” he breathed and moaned.  
  
Clint pressed his lips to the god’s forehead and then began really laying into him. Loki cried out and bent forward, a steady ‘ah’ just coming out of him as Clint finally found the sweet angle. His other leg began to shake and he gave off small jerks every so often until finally he was shuddering and hissing out curse words, trying to hang on.  
  
Clint opened up fully and knew Loki could feel what he did. The god threw his head back and gave a loud cry as he came. He grunted and panted, leaning forward into the piano and reached down to stroke himself to get it all out. Clint eased up until he felt Loki shiver and relax. He moaned, licking his lips and push himself back against Clint before straightening and turned his face, his hand coming up to grab at the archer’s hair so he could obtain the kisses he desired.  
  
They paused and made out for a while, Clint just moving every so often to remind the god he still wasn’t done.  
  
Loki hummed and licked his lips as he turned his face away and sighed, bending forward again.  
  
“Do you –”  
  
“No, not in particular. One is adequate…for now,” he said with a sly look over his shoulder.  
  
Clint smirked and then leaned over him, holding him close to his body again. “If it’s too much or hurts let me know.”  
  
“I can take it,” he promised and pushed himself back against Clint. “Now hurry up. I want to feel your seed within me.”  
  
“Fuck,” he dropped his head and bit at Loki’s shoulder. The god jumped with a small ‘ah’ and then it turned to sighs and tiny moans to encourage Clint as he quickly pounded into him; his speed and force strengthening to a point Loki was certain he’d cum a second time without meaning to.  
  
“Shit,” he hissed and finally pushed himself into Loki as deep as he could and came. “Oh shit…” he sighed and barely moved his hips as his body swam in the luxurious feeling of his orgasm.  
  
Loki hummed and moved his hips for him, keeping his muscles a little tighter to further please him. Clint bit his neck to get him to stop and Loki froze immediately, nearly whimpering as a surge of pleasure swept down him. His head dropped slightly and he relaxed, almost as if to indicate he completely surrendered himself to the archer.  
  
The archer soothed his hands along his body and shifted so he could fall out of him, before letting him go. He moved back so Loki could turn. The god pulled him close and kissed him deeply.  
  
Loki sighed and tilted his face, holding Clint’s mouth where he wanted it. Clint knew it’d been a while doing such so he obliged his silent request and bit at his skin, hard. He sucked and helped hold him up as the god trembled and gasped, his toes curling as his nerves sang at the sensation. He wrapped his arms around Clint’s neck and felt his knees give out. The archer let his skin go and licked the spot before pressing several kisses to it.  
  
“Better?” he whispered.  
  
Loki moaned in response and they sank to the floor, finally giving themselves the chance to properly catch their breath and let the wild post-orgasm feelings settle into their systems.  
  
“I think you’ve fulfilled your dreams,” Loki said suddenly.  
  
“Yeah?”  
  
He nodded. “Perhaps not the figure skating one, but most certainly the gymnast, chemist, cat herder, and Tae Kwon Do master.”  
  
“To be a grand master you need to be past basic ranks and be in a dan or something like that. I never made it passed…what’s the second belt, yellow? Blue? Maybe red? No that’s seems too high…”  
  
“You’re close enough,” he chuckled. “You’re a skilled fighter; I don’t see why coloured belts should matter.”  
  
“It’s a thing,” he shrugged.  
  
“Well, we have time to teach you how to cook and I promise when the snows clear I’ll rent you a bouncy house to play in.”  
  
Clint eagerly grinned at him. “You’re the best!” he said and hugged him, pressing grateful kisses all along his face and mouth.  
  
Loki laughed and waited until Clint was finished before he added, “And I believe if you were to travel to Asgard you’d technically be an astronaut.”  
  
“I’ll say it counts,” he nodded agreeing and then sighed. “I’ll just have to be a clown doctor dancer in my next life.”  
  
Loki laughed. “I think you can be a clown every so often. Dancing, now that’s something you can.”  
  
“Eh,” he shrugged.  
  
“You are,” he nodded confidently. “I know.”  
  
“We’ve never actually danced together.”  
  
“I can feel it,” he grinned.  
  
“Yeah?” he smiled and kissed him. They indulged in such until their passions had fully simmered down. Loki cleaned them with a wave of his hand and they shrugged their clothing back on. Just as Clint was tucking himself back into his pants one of the legs to the piano gave out and it fell to the side with a loud clanging bang that vibrated down the hall.  
  
“Perfect timing,” Clint nodded and buckled his belt highly satisfied.  
  
“Indeed,” Loki mused looking it over. There was another loud bang that made him jump and bump into Clint. “I’m sorry,” he whispered as he tried to focus and calm his beating heart.  
  
“It’s fine, are you okay?”  
  
He nodded. “Yes, only startled. I’m fine, I promise.”  
  
Clint nodded and put and arm around him. “Let’s hurry before another string breaks.”  
  
“I hate that noise,” he sighed as they exited the room. He glanced over his shoulder in silent farewell to the fragments of an amazing memory he knew he’d recall for many ages yet to come.  
  
Clint smirked and pulled at Loki’s collar. “Ah so you wanted everyone to see?” he teased.  
  
“No,” Loki swatted his hand away. “I just…very much enjoy that spot particularly.”  
  
“Never did before. I remember the first time I tried giving you a hicky, you punch my face.”  
  
“It was a response in the heat of the moment. I was still rushed from the thrill of a battle. I thought you were trying to eat me.”  
  
“I thought you found such things tasteless,”  
  
“I do,” he shrugged. “Doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy this one guilty pleasure from time to time.”  
  
Clint chuckled. “That’s true. Hey,” he said standing in front of him with a large grin. “I’m really happy right now, and I don’t want to embarrass you or make you feel self-conscious or ashamed, because you shouldn’t, but I’d hate for you to walk out there and not know.”  
  
“Know?” he frowned and put a hand over the mark he knew was darkening a little.  
  
Clint jerked his head to the side and Loki realised there was a mirror in the hall. He spotted his reflection and stared at himself for several moments before drawing himself up and defiantly stared himself down. He was still in his natural form. It was the first time he hadn’t felt the overwhelming guilty need to hurry back to his Asgardian form. He felt rather comfortable and free in it, and the hicky Clint had given him was blooming in a pale light blue colour. It looked rather beautiful actually.  
  
He looked at Clint and kissed him gratefully before changing back. “Thank you,” he whispered.  
  
“Not at all. I’ll miss it,” he sighed and brushed his thumb over Loki’s cheek.  
  
“It’s my evening off,” he smirked and gave Clint a sultry look.  
  
“What a coincidence,” he beamed happily. “Mine too.”  
  
Loki was about to reply with something cleverly flirty when Steve, Bruce, and Natasha came around the corner.  
  
“What was going on?” Steve asked. “We heard a loud bang.”  
  
“Oh there was a loud bang,” Clint grinned, raising a brow suggestively.  
  
The trio frowned.  
  
“The piano in the other room is broken,” Loki explained and found he suddenly couldn’t keep a straight face. He started laughing and that prompted Clint to start laughing.  
  
“How’d it happen?” Steve asked and started to investigate.  
  
Loki held onto Clint as he tried pulling himself together.  
  
“Do we really want to know?” Natasha said flatly and looked between the two and decided their silly behaviour was answer enough. Clint, however, wasn’t going to be satisfied until he’d mentally scared someone for the day.  
  
“Living out a dream,” he smiled proudly and moved his hands from side to side in front of him as if he were playing a piano and then pelvic thrusted. Loki laughed harder and hid his face in the archer’s shoulder. Bruce dropped his cup, spilling more in his haste to catch it than it would have from its original fall. The archer laughed, giving Loki’s cheek a chaste kiss, and headed for the foyer. “Now excuse me. I’ll be off daydreaming about my big expensive house with twenty servants,” he pageantly waved farewell to them.  
  
Natasha rolled her eyes and pulled the towel from her shoulder and handed it to Bruce. “Don’t let him fool you,” she said to Loki as he went to follow Clint. “His real goal and dream in life is a lot simpler than that.”  
  
“Oh?” he asked curiously and took a step back and toward her to indicate that she had his attention.  
  
“Yeah, his real dream in life is to be an amazing husband and father. He’ll deny that he told me, but he was plastered one Christmas and confessed that all he’s ever wanted was to be a better spouse and caregiver than his father ever was. He told me he wanted at least one of each gender; a large family; a nice simple home a little off the beaten path, y’know something he like built or helped build or whatever; a bed that swings; a rocking chair; and to die with his soul mate after living a long and successfully lovingly fulfilling life.”  
  
Loki clenched his jaw shut tightly and looked away. He felt Natasha nudge him and he knew she meant it lovingly in her curiously supportive manner. He nodded to indicate he was fine and left to follow the archer before he ran back with another lewd comment to torture poor Banner with.  
  
He heard Natasha say: “And I thought what we did the other day was insane,” followed by Bruce’s fumbled apologies about needing to be in the lab.  
  
He smiled and found Clint waiting for him halfway up the stairs. “Something wrong?” Clint asked when he noticed his face had dropped into a serious expression.  
  
Loki shook his head. “No, just…thinking.”  
  
“About?”  
  
He shrugged and they fell into step as they climbed the last few together. “What my dream in life was.”  
  
“Anything you’d love to share?”  
  
Loki smirked and slipped his hand into Clint’s. “I’m working on getting there…but it has something to do with a large family, a nice simple home I’ve built, a bed that swings, a rocking chair, and to die with my soul mate once we’ve both lived very long and successful lives full of love and random sexual adventures.”  
  
Clint froze for half a second and then smiled. “She said she’d never tell.”  
  
“She never had too…remember, I read your aura this morning.”  
  
“Ah, right the nature simple life thing,” he nodded. “What is your dream in life?”  
  
“Just that,” he admitted.  
  
“Really? No palace? No court or endless amounts of money and servants?”  
  
“To be honest, I could live without any of that and be incredibly happy, so long as I had the ones I loved with me.”  
  
“Seriously?” he asked surprised as Loki continued up the stairs.  
  
“Honestly,” he said over his shoulder  
  
“What if you had a palace with simple things?” he asked following.  
  
“I find palaces nice places to visit, yet very empty and dull to live in.”  
  
“I can’t believe you’d find living in a palace so boring,”  
  
Loki laughed as he opened the door to their room. “One day you may experience what it is all about first hand; then you will understand.”  
  
“Yeah, you say that, but all I can think of is the food, the flirting, and the giant beds.”  
  
“Sounds like you have all you need here,” he said flopping to sit on their bed.  
  
“Eh, it’s almost there,” he said shutting the door.  
  
Loki nodded as he looked around the room. “You’re right…it almost is.” He looked up at Clint as he came to stand before him and smiled, “Just some cables and structured support beams in the ceiling and it’ll be perfect.”  
  
Clint couldn’t stop the joy that swelled within his chest he stared at his love. He loosely set his arms around his shoulders as he bent down to kiss him. Loki hummed and started leaning back, Clint following him with a mirrored smile upon his lips. Loki chuckled and ran his fingers through his chocolate hair.  
  
“I like your hair this length,” he commented as Clint set his hands on either side of his head so that he could prop himself up to look down at him. Loki brushed his fringe back and smiled up at him.  
  
“Yeah?” Clint goofily grinned at him.  
  
“Yes,” he leaned up and kissed him.  
  
Clint lowered himself down, resting most of his weight on his right arm and knees as his left hand went down to bring Loki’s bent leg up around his waist. “So what do you want to do?” he asked kissing his neck.  
  
Loki chuckled and ran his hands down Clint’s chest. “Pleasure myself until I’m insane.”  
  
“Yeah?” He glanced at him and then continued kissing his throat. “That sounds good.”  
  
“Yes,” he replied, finding it hard to continue his laughter as the archer’s breath tickled him. The intimate act was also highly flattering and made him proudly embarrassed for some reason. “Right after a nap,” he further added.  
  
Barton hummed and started gently kissing along his collarbone. “A nap…sounds good.”  
  
“A naked one,” he added in a low tone, riddled with mischief.  
  
Clint paused to stare at him for a moment before he rose up and hurriedly began whipping his clothes off. The kittens pounced up next to Loki and began settling themselves down.  
  
“No, daddy and mommy are busy,” Clint said and set them aside. They would not be ignored. Loki burst into loud laughter and sat up to pet them as he watched Clint fumble with his clothes. He eventually had to help him, only to find it was a trap to get him away from the kittens.  
  
“Clint!” Loki cried as the archer hefted him over his shoulder.  
  
“Hurry!” he cried and ran to the closet. The kittens hurried after him, thinking it a game, but they weren’t fast enough. He set Loki down and shut the door with lightning speed, only catching the edge of Loki’s shirt in the jam.  
  
“Was this necessary?” he panted as Clint found the light switch.  
  
“They’d just jump all over us and stuff,” he pouted. “Besides who would watch them?”  
  
“Darcy is keen to do so,”  
  
“Jarvis, where is Darcy?”  
  
“Lady Darcy is currently out of the mansion at the moment,” he replied.  
  
“Dammit,” Clint sighed heavily.  
  
“Then setting them in the bathroom after kitty-proofing it is our next best option,” Loki reasoned. “Thank you Jarvis,” he added.  
  
“Not at all,” the AI replied.  
  
“Oh…” Clint frowned and thought about it. “That does actually make more sense.” He opened the door and together they made sure nothing breakable or harmful was left out in case the kittens got into it. Loki put some food onto their dish, that he made Clint put clothes on and run down to get, and set it down along with turning the sink on and playing it a bit to draw their attention. While they were consumed with batting in the water, he hurried out and shut the door.  
  
He found himself pulled back against the archer and moaned deeply as his mouth began wooing him over.  
  
“How do you want it?” Clint whispered.  
  
“We have a whole drawer of toys we’ve barely used…” he suggested in a tone that was anything but innocent.  
  
Clint groaned. “Yes, please, yes…” he whispered, the words almost like a prayer.  
  
Loki laughed and pulled out of his embrace so he could strip down while the archer hurried to gather their weapons of war…or “ass-destruction” as Clint suggested they started calling them. Loki didn’t care, so long as Clint promised he’d never stop when he begged him for more.


	54. Chapter 54

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You all know the routine: I suck, I'm sorry. I'm poor and I can't afford internet regularly and I've been running around the East Coast doing auditions and job hunting with no success. I'm getting to a point were I'm starting to really freak out about it so it's been hard for me to edit/write. I kind of feel like I'm a failure and that I'm just bothering people with this now :[
> 
>  
> 
> I know I always ask it of you, but I hope you all can forgive me and I hope the wait is always worth it. Please enjoy the chapter!

\----------------------54----------------------

Clint woke a little later than he normally would. He wondered why he hadn’t been dragged out the door for duty since it was supposed to be his first day back. He checked around the bottom of their door and then along the outside in case Natasha had left him a note. There was nothing. He even checked his email and only found Steve had blown up his inbox with odd team suggested exercises to help them further bond or whatever. There was one email from Tony and it involved a picture of a cat he’d found hanging around his house in Malibu. It read: ‘Haha, I’ve got a fuzzy friend too :P’

Clint laughed and set the tablet down before going to stand near the window. He watched as night slowly changed to day. The morning light was soft and greyish with just a touch of yellow when the sun snuck a peek out from behind a cloud. It was starting to really look like winter outside. Everything was frosted over and icy, but it wasn’t cold enough yet to turn the rain, currently coming down, into snow. The pattering on the window wasn’t anything too heavy at the moment, just a light cold steady drizzle that tinked on the roof loud enough to make the kittens poke their heads out from under the covers; curious about the unfamiliar noise. Once they both decided it wasn’t a threat or worth their time investigating, they yawn and snuggled back down into the covers.

After a few more minutes Loki woke and sleepily begged him to return to bed. He happily obliged, leaving his place before the window, and bunkered down for a few more hours of peaceful rest.

Now Clint was wide awake and laying in the opposite direction of Loki; his head propped up on fist, the sheet draped casually over their midsections, and Loki resting on his elbow and forearm. His hair was falling out of his braid, hanging around his face and along one shoulder in beautiful chaos. Clint brushed the back of his hand down Loki’s leg slowly and watched him. The god was busy playing with Jareth. The kitten was rolling around, mainly on his back, as Loki teased him with the string from one of Clint’s old hoodies Natasha had declared unsaveable the day before.

The archer had thrown a fit and insisted it was fine, but Natasha wouldn’t back down. Loki had to agree with her, it was riddled with holes, stained, faded, stitched, glued, and tied back together. They had a ceremony for it that night when she threw it in the trash. Clint had kept the front panel though, which was a very faded and cracked picture of a man’s face in yellows, whites, and pinks. He seemed to have his eyes closed and a lightning bolt down his face. Clint had folded it carefully and set it in the bottom drawer, declaring it sacred. Loki had an idea on how to save it and keep it so that he could continue to enjoy it, but he’d need some things and Natasha’s advice before acting first.

“You’re tickling me,” Loki said and looked at Clint with eyes that made the archer’s skin break out into goose bumps.

“I’d be lying if I said I was sorry,” Clint whispered and leaned forward to press a kiss to his knee; Loki’s leg shifting just slightly at the touch.

“Now you really are,” he chuckled and his leg twitched a little more when his beard brushed him. Clint grinned and rubbed his face on his skin. “Clinton!” he cried and moved his leg away. The archer leaned forward still, grabbing it to keep it from running off too far. Loki rolled onto his back as Clint rubbed his stubble against his thigh. They laughed until Clint added in his mouth; pressing loving kisses as well as dragging his lips on the god’s skin.

Loki moaned a little and put his hands on Clint’s head as he made his way up his thigh at snail speed. “Clint…” he whispered, his voice a degree lower. Clint pressed his lips to his hip for a minute and then moved to straddle his legs. His gaze was intense and Loki found himself wonderfully trapped under it. They stared at one another as Clint pulled the sheet away from their bodies slowly.

Loki shivered a little as the fabric tickled his bare skin. He shifted under him and brought his hands to rest over his stomach. Clint balled it up and dropped it off to the side before setting his hands over Loki’s. The god shivered again and swallowed.

“Have I told you how beautiful you are?” he whispered.

Loki felt heat rise to his face. “Lately?” he smiled playfully and bashfully looked away.

“Oh forgive me,” he sighed with a pained look and leaned forward, moving their hands aside and pressed his mouth to Loki’s stomach. The god changed into his Jötunn form. Clint hummed in appreciation as he kissed around his navel and then dragged his bottom lip from the top of his groin up to his belly button. “You…are…indescribably breath-taking…” he whispered.

The octave of his voice made Loki’s body ache in a welcoming way. He traced a finger down Clint’s cheek and opened his mouth to say something, but was interrupted when a feline leaped toward his face. He put his hands up to pull Jareth off of him. “What?” he asked with a smile.

The kitten made a whining meow.

“Did you still want to play?” he asked sweetly.

The kitten meowed excitedly.

Clint continued to kiss at Loki’s stomach as the god snuggled the kitten to his chest and began rubbing his soft belly. Jareth grabbed a hold of Loki’s hand with his paws and gnawed on his fingers.

“Playfully bites,” Loki reminded gently and poked the kittens nose. “We do not hurt unless in defence.”

Jareth meowed.

“Yes I know it’s unfair, but those are the rules,”

Clint laughed and gave up, knowing nothing sexy was going to happen so long as the kitten had Loki’s full attention. He slid up next to the god and scratched behind the kitten’s ear. Jareth froze with one little paw spread high in the air. His eyes slowly closed and he began purring. “Where is Ást?”

“Probably grooming himself,” Loki said. “He seems fairly independent for a cat of his breed.”

“Yeah,” Clint agreed and slipped a hand down Loki’s side to rest at his hip. “He’s also a lot quieter than I expected too.”

“Well, not all creatures of a certain species behave in the same manner. Take for instance Fandral, Thor, and Volstag: all men of strength, each a different style; all men with hefty appetites, in and out of bed; and all prideful men, but each for different reasons.” He noticed Clint wasn’t really paying attention to what he was saying. He looked at him and saw a goofy grin spread across his face. “What?” he asked a bit self-consciously.

“I’m really happy to hear you say that,” he explained.

“What that my brother is a proud man?”

“No,” he shook his head. “The first part, before you even mentioned them.”

Loki thought about what he had said and then flinched.

“No,” Clint said sadly and leaned in to press kisses to his face. “Don’t, please…”

“Clint…” he sighed sadly and turned his face away, even though the rest of him shifted to face him.

“Shhh…” Clint closed his eyes tightly and brought their foreheads to rest together. “One day you’ll see…” he whispered, more for himself than for Loki. He knew the god would get it, but he needed to remind himself in the meantime that he had to carry on banging the drum for the both of them.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered in return. “I don’t mean –”

“You haven’t done anything wrong, don’t apologise,” Clint said giving him a kiss. He moved his hand back down to his hip and traced his fingers along Loki’s side and back in lazy swirls.

Loki closed his eyes and enjoyed the feel. He felt something move behind him and he knew it was Ást. The cat put his paws up on his shoulder and peeked over before meowing curiously.

“No we haven’t forgotten you,” Clint said and patted a space between them. The cat leapt beautifully over Loki and onto the space. He laid down and stretched a bit on his side. Clint petted him, making sure to rub at his belly. Ást curled inward and brushed his face and head against Clint’s hand as he did so. “Oh…are we snuggly today?” Clint asked.

Ást looked up at him and meowed.

“Yeah?”

Ást meowed again as he stretched, flexing his paws wide. It was amazing what a cat’s paw looked like without all the fluff to cover it; the webbing and size of their claws where just astounding to Clint. He gently grabbed one with his thumb and first finger to gently rub.

“I know. It’s terribly cold out. You’re shivering even though it’s toasty in here. We’re going to have to get you a sweater.”

“I’ve made him one…” Loki said, now looking down at Jareth and petting him into a frenzying purr.

“Yeah?” Clint smiled.

Loki nodded. “Natasha…when she went out last, she bought me some supplies.”

“Why haven’t I seen them?”

“I’ve hidden them,” he said with a smirk. “I started a few things and I want them to be a surprise.”

“Now I _have_ to find it,” Clint teased trying to get out of bed. Loki pulled at him to get him to lie back down. “Is it in the closet?”

“No,” Loki said and gave his arm a slightly firmer tug.

“Is it in the bathroom?” he asked, giving in and lying back again.

“No,”

“Here?”

“No,”

“In Tasha’s room?”

“No,

“Where is it?”

Loki laughed and shook his head. “I’m not telling you.”

“I’m going to find it,” he promised. “And then I’m not going to tell you and still act like I haven’t seen it just because.”

“Oh don’t pout,” Loki begged and gave him a quick kiss on his cheek. Clint leaned forward to give him a proper kiss afterward. When they pulled away, Loki kept his eyes closed and pulled his bottom lip into his mouth, savouring their kiss. Clint grinned as he watched him.

There was a knock on the door. Ást sat up and then hurried toward it as Clint and Loki grabbed the sheet to cover themselves as Loki revered back to his pale form. Jareth seemed stunned still as he lay on his back; it took him a few seconds to realise what was going on before he shook his head and then hurried after his brother to investigate.

“Who is it?” Clint called sitting up.

“Me,” Natasha said.

He went to the door, grabbing some sweat pants to slip on quickly before he unlocked and opened it. The kittens attacked her feet and rubbed against her, meowing in a whiny tone, as if saying they weren’t given enough attention.

“Hello!” she said excitedly and squatted down to pet them as Clint closed and locked the door. “Hello pretty babies!”

Loki sat up in bed and watched them with a small smile. The darkness suddenly began bubbling under the surface and he closed his eyes for a moment to try and will it away. It slipped closer instead and set itself in his gut.

“We’re having a meeting soon,” she explained. “In the lower levels.”

“Great, what am I in trouble for _this_ time?” Clint sighed.

“It’s not about you,” she said making a face at him. “It’s updates and talks about Thanksgiving.”

“Oh great, I wondered when shit was going to hit the fan,” Clint rolled his eyes. “I was hoping to enjoy this unofficial day off…” he sighed. “Dress?”

“Regular, but nothing you’d mind getting dirty just in case we get call.”

“The kittens haven’t eaten yet,” Loki said and rubbed at his face a bit as he yawned.

“I’ll ask Darcy to bring them something. If that’s cool?” Natasha added.

“Nah, I think it’s fine. Babe?” Clint asked and looked over his shoulder. He noticed that Loki was rubbing at his forehead with his eyes closed in a concentrating manner. “Babe?” he called again and turned to face him. Natasha looked at him as well. “Loki?” he said starting over to him.

“Yes,” he said, his head snapping up to look at him. “I think she would be perfect to watch them. They haven’t been terribly active today, so we’ll need someone to get them moving around or they won’t sleep this evening.”

“I’ll let her know,” Natasha said standing straight. “You’ll need your cards to get in, both of you.”

“Thanks,” Clint said.

“No problem, see you in a few,” she nodded and carefully slipped out. The kittens pawed and rubbed against the door sadly.

“Are you –” Clint began.

“Yes,” Loki said a bit too harshly and quick. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “Yes, I’m…I’m fine,” he replied in a softer tone and then rose and went to the closet to dress. Clint followed him and stupidly dropped a sock as he began getting dressed.

Jareth took it and raced for under the bed.

“No!” he sighed and dropped his head. “Dammit cat…”

Loki smiled and handed him a new pair. “Leave that one out so we know it’s partnerless.”

As they were putting their boots on they heard a squeal and thundering steps running down the hall in their direction. The cats perked their ears up and froze as their heads moved with the direction of the source. It stopped before their door and there was a series of excited short knocks on it.

Jareth bound toward the door, but Ást hung back a little hesitant. Loki petted him to ease his fears and then rose to open the door. Darcy stood outside, her face shining brightly with joy. She looked about ready to burst.

“Auntie Darcy reporting for kitten-duty!” she beamed and did a salute toward him.

“Come in, please,” Loki said picking Jareth up off the ground so that he could open the door.

“Oh my god he’s adorable!” she said, nearly squealing in delight and held out her hand for him to sniff.

Natasha came up and handed Loki a full container of food. “Thank you,” he said to her and went to set it on the table. He tossed Jareth onto the bed, his legs spread out as he soared and landed in their crumbled up comforter. He poked his head out and meowed excitedly before hurrying to the edge to leap off in his usual manner, and then rub against Loki asking him to do it again.

“Oh!” Darcy sighed in relief. “I was worried there for a second…”

“Oh, yeah,” Clint said as he finished tying his shoe. “He’s weird. He also climbs, so be careful. We had to take the curtains down because he got stuck at the top the other day. We’re going to have to get him a very large tree to play on.”

“You should get several in different heights,” Darcy suggested. “Or one of those cat jungle gyms; some are really nice and of a great size. I think they’d really like that. Wait!” she said holding up her hand. “Don’t; let me get that for them for Christmas,” she said excitedly.

Jareth meowed unhappily at being ignored and swiped at Loki’s leg.

“We do not ask for attention in that manner,” Loki said sternly and went to retrieve their dish from the bathroom counter, where he’d left it to dry the night before.

Jareth meowed sadly and watched him for a second before he followed him. Ást leapt from the bed and hurried after Loki so that he’d get to him first.

“Uh, so the littlest one is named Jareth and the other is Ástnæmr. It’s pretty chilly out and even though the room is set to a good temperature, he’s still shivering, so he might not be in a mood to play a lot. If he gets too cold just lay him on the bed and put the comforter over him or tuck him under your shirt. He’ll curl up and sleep,” Clint explained. He gestured around the room. “Toys are all over. They have a box and some paper balls on the other side and basically just feed them when they want. Jareth doesn’t have a set schedule, but Ást needs to eat a little more than him, so he’ll let you know. He normally sits by the dish sort of patiently to indicate his needs.”

“Cool,” she said and looked around. “This is nice.”

“Yeah?” he asked a looked around as well. “We haven’t really done much to it other than put our stuff in it.”

“I like it still. It feels very welcoming,”

“That’d be Loki’s doing,” Clint said honestly. “He picked out chairs and the bedding. We used to have this florally pink and tan quilt, but as you see, we’ve upgraded to black sheets and the black minty comforter.”

“It still has flowers,” Darcy commented and looked at it.

“They’re like swirly things with leaves,” he said looking at it too.

“Nah, those are flowers…actually they sort of look like little dicks,”

“What?” he said and went over to it to straighten some of it out. “They do not…oh…” he whispered and frowned as he tilted his head a little. “Some of them do look like little dicks…”

“Told you,” Darcy smiled triumphantly.

“Babe we need a new comforter,” he called.

“We just bought that,” Loki sighed as he returned with the dish. Jareth and Ást played around his feet for the food and chirped excitedly.

“It has tiny dicks all over it,” Clint said with a pouty face to him.

Loki set the dish down and then straightened to look at it. “I thought that’s why you picked it,” he said confused.

“What?”

“I thought you picked it as a subtle sexual jest,” he shrugged. “I mean you bought that molten lamp and it looks oddly phallic like.”

“I did not buy a penis shaped lava –” he began and then looked at the small lamp sitting on his bedside. He stared at it and then frowned upset. “That shape is called a bowling pin!”

“Or penis,” Darcy said looking at the lamp. “Maybe not a traditional one that’s on your body, but I’ve seen dildos that shape.”

“I did not buy a dildo-penis lava lamp!” he said frustrated.

Loki went over and held his face in his hands, tilting it a bit forward so that he could press a kiss to his forehead. “It’s fine, love,” he promised. “If you say it is a bowling pin, then it is a bowling pin.”

“It is,” he said a little sadly.

“Then it is,” he agreed. “And we shall exchange the comforter if it will make you happy.”

Clint looked at it and then back at Loki. “But you really liked it.”

“Clinton,” he sighed. “So long as you are happy and we have something to cover us at night I could care less what it looks like.”

Clint looked at it again and then back at Loki. “In all honesty, I kind of like it even more now,” he said with a smile.

Loki grinned at him and they exchanged a quick kiss. “There is no water dish,” Loki explained as he turned to Darcy. “We keep one of the sinks running. Jareth will play in it every once in a while, that’s perfectly fine, it’s in his nature, but if he’s making too much of a mess just turn it off for a while and he’ll find something else to amuse him. The hamper beside it is how he gets up there; he can’t make the full jump yet. The litter is clean as well. Thank you,” he finished sincerely to her.

“Not at all,” she smiled. “I mean it’s a win-win for me. I get to watch your cats and you can save the world or do whatever you do for fun.”

“Apologies for the state of the bed,” Loki said going to the kittens and petting them gently as they ate. “We didn’t have time before you arrived.”

“It’s fine,” she promised.

He rose and went to the door to wait for Clint.

“Bye,” Clint said as he petting them farewell.

“Uh,” Darcy said looking at the bed. “Is it…um,” she said and pointed to it. “Is it safe?”

“Yeah we had sex in the shower last night,” Clint said with a shrug. Loki slapped his arm as he gave him a disapproving look.

“The sheets were washed yesterday evening,” Loki said and then pulled Clint out before he could say anything more. He popped his head back in. “Oh and I know it is a natural inclination for all creatures to be curious, however if you find yourself in desperate need to snoop around, I beg of you not to disturb anything in the closet. There are some very important things that need to remain untouched while they brew.”

“I had no plans, but I’ll keep it in mind,” she said and then turned a little to show him the small backpack on her back. “Brought my laptop in case they decide they don’t feel like playing. I’m trying to do one of the Sim family challenges.”

“I’m not certain what that means, but I wish you the best.”

“Thank you,” she said.

“Also, if Ástnæmr does get too cold and he refuses to seek you out as a heat source, there is a small sweater I’ve knitted for him. It is in the bedside drawer near the window. Please put it on him.”

“Will do,” she saluted and waved as he closed the door. She looked around and then at the closet. “I guess I’ll have to wait to see their clothes later,” she sighed and went to the table to set her stuff on and searched around the room for a cat toy they could bond over. She found a feathery dancer and picked it up. “Perfect,” she smiled at it.

\-------------------------------------------------

“Whatever happened to ‘but when it comes to places you’re most sensitive, or positions we each favour, maybe even costumes, I don’t want that to be anyone else’s business, but ours’?” Loki asked as they walked down the hall and stairs, right behind Natasha.

“This couldn’t be a mind conversation?” Clint asked.

“No, we’re not going to disagree about this internally; you’ve already given up the luxury of that privacy when you made that salacious comment to her and negated your sentiments from the other day.”

“Old habits die hard,” he apologised and got in front of Loki so he could walk backwards and make sure they were looking at one another. “I’m really sorry. It slipped out before I could stop it.”

Loki stopped walking to give him his full attention, and so that Clint wouldn’t foolishly trip as he tried to make amends.

“I guess my brain thought it wasn’t violating those things I said, and the fact that she wasn’t there to witness how we looked, that made it all okay?” he said, trying to rationalise his actions. “I shouldn’t have said it. You know I have an awful habit of being suggestive and crude at the worst times, and I’ll work harder to make sure I follow my own wishes and not give out our personal details unless we’re both in agreement of it.”

Loki looked him over before he gave a firm nod and continued passed him.

“Are you still mad?” Clint called, and then hurried after him.

“I’m not mad,” he sighed.

“You’re mad,” Clint whispered with a tiny sigh and began thinking on how he could fix it.

Loki smirked and was glad the archer was just far enough behind him that he couldn’t see his face. He really wasn’t mad; he just wanted the archer to think upon his actions a little longer. If he gave in and accepted his apology readily after every time Clint said or did something wrong, or acted in a sort of hypocritical manner, then he’d never learn and continue to behave as such. With him thinking he was hanging on the edge of a cliff with no hope of rescue, it was sure to plant the seeds in his mind that would make him more mindful of what he said in the future.

Loki had already forgiven him the moment he’d said he was sorry. Clint didn’t need to know that just yet though. Natasha glanced at him as he came to walk beside her. Her face remained its usual set; however, the slight curve of one side of her mouth and the dancing light in her eyes suggested she knew what he was doing and approved.

Loki glanced behind him to find Clint frowning at the floor and felt his mind racing through thoughts he wasn’t privy to yet. It amused him. He quickly looked forward and bit back a laugh of joyous victory.

They had to swipe their cards and state their full names, as well as do an eye scan and a hand scan before entering. Loki didn’t very much enjoy the eye scan. It reminded him too much of Germany. The triumphant satisfying feeling that had filled him when he had gouged that man’s eye out echoed inside of him, as well as the sickening guilt he had endured as he stood there helpless and trapped inside himself, unable to stop the darkness. It terrified him.

He felt Clint’s hands on his shoulders as he staggered back from it. He was grateful he was there. He rubbed at his forehead again and entered the lab.

It was well-lit and spacious. There were cars off somewhere in the very back left and tables all over the in the main space. Some were set up with tubes, vials, beakers, burners, and other equipment; some with pieces to Stark’s suit; some with notes and detailed plans; and then he spotted it and felt dread run through his veins. It raced from his head down to his feet and cemented them to the ground. The darkness twisted excitedly inside of him and he felt sick.

Clint quickly entered and went to him. He spotted what was causing Loki’s discomfort and quickly pulled Loki away from it. It was too late, the damage the sceptre’s presence caused was done and all they could do was find a semi-empty trash bin for Loki to be sick into. Clint rubbed his back as they knelt before it.

“Shhh, it’s okay,” he said and moved more of Loki’s hair back out of the way.

Natasha hurried over to them. “I’m sorry,” she said. “I forgot it was right at the door, I didn’t think.”

“It’s fine,” Clint promised. Loki vomited into the trash basket again. “I promise,” he reassured her.

“I’ll get you some water and a wet cloth,” she said and hurried toward a door Clint guessed was a bathroom.

“Do you want me to get you the medicine?”

Loki nodded and spit into the bucket. “Please,” he begged; the headache he’d been nursing grew worse suddenly. He pressed the heel of one hand to the side of his forehead and hissed as he squeezed his eyes shut against the sharp stabbing pain.

Clint waited until Natasha was on her way back before he hurried to their room.

Darcy was sitting on the floor with the feather dancer. Jareth was going wild over it, but Ást lay curled up in her lap, tucked slightly under her sweater. “Hey,” she said. “Secret Cool Kids Club Meeting over already?”

“Nope, just forgot something,” Clint said and went into the closet. He opened the wine chiller and pulled out the opened syrup container, focusing his thoughts as he’d done before, and then closed everything up and hurried out. “See ya!”

“Yep,” she waved as the door closed.

He ran down, stopping in the kitchen to quickly grab a spoon, and hurried into the lab, going through the procedures as fast as he could. He entered and twisted off the lid. Phil and Steve were pushing the table with the sceptre far into the back near the cars and covering it. Bruce was with Loki, monitoring his vitals and asking him questions.

Loki was answering them well, but he had paled considerably and was shaking a little harder than before. Thor was standing by, torn between wanting to help and giving his brother the space he always requested.

Clint slid on his knees up to them and dipped the spoon into the mix. “Here,” he said breathless and then a little louder. “Here, babe,” he said and waited for Natasha and Bruce to help Loki turn a bit. He fed Loki a spoonful.

“Another,” he gasped as he swallowed the first.

Clint fed him another spoonful.

Loki took the glass of water Natasha held for him and drained it. He took a moment to be sure and then motioned for Clint to put it away.

He put the lid back on and set it off to the side with the spoon. He felt through the bond. There was disorder; pain, guilt, anger, fear, and then the washing calm as the syrup took effect. The storm inside the god began to settle and Clint nodded to the others. “We’re good now,” he said.

“I’m sorry,” Bruce said. “I didn’t think about it until I realised you’d already walked in.”

“It’s…it’s fine,” Loki panted as his body calmed down. “I’m fine,” he whispered and closed his eyes. “I hope there wasn’t anything important in there.”

“No,” Bruce confirmed. “No one’s been down here but me, so all the bins are untouched. That one is hardly used so even if Tony had tossed anything I highly doubt he’d go looking for it.”

“Good,” Loki said and shifted to sit on the floor. He brought his knees up and rested his head in between them. “I only…need a minute.”

“Take all the time you want,” Bruce said honestly.

Natasha gave him a look that said they couldn’t really afford that, but she didn’t say anything. They waited and when Loki brought his head up they helped him up and to the table the others had gathered around. Clint helped Loki sit and moved his chair closer so that he could rub his arm and back supportively.

“Okay…” Bruce said and looked around at them. “So…as you’ve all seen…we have the sceptre…but…” he sighed and rubbed his face. “Okay…let me start with something else…Thanksgiving,” he said.

The rest of them sighed, some gratefully and some exhausted.

“I thought this was going to be an easy meeting,” Clint muttered.

“It can be,” he confirmed. “We just have to plan it right. Okay so how much of which foods and who’s doing what?”

“I volunteer eating,” Clint said raising his hand.

“I voluntell Clint he’s also peeling,” Natasha added.

“I can live with that, so long as I don’t have to cook and I get one pumpkin pie to myself,”

“I can do pies,” Loki offered, trying his best to sit up straight and push down the pain still radiating in his midsection.

“I can help peel and cut,” Thor offered as well.

“What are the traditional foods of this feast?” Loki inquired.

“I’m glad you asked,” Bruce smiled and pushed a button to pull up a PowerPoint.

“Oh god,” Clint sighed heavily. Loki and Natasha swatted one of his arms in gentle reprimand; Natasha’s a little harder than Loki’s.

Bruce cleared his throat nervously. “The history and evolution of Thanksgiving…”

\-------------------------------------------------

Clint was asleep. He’d passed out around the first slide and was woken when Natasha pushed a pencil, eraser-end, up his nose. He snorted and jerked up as she hurried to pull it away. “What?” he asked rubbing his face and wiped his mouth as he looked around.

“Okay, so Basics of Thanksgiving Foods,” Bruce pointed toward the screen, ignoring Clint. “Lots of starches, lots of veggies, lots of sweets for afterward; your main source of protein though is the turkey. We’ve already got them. I’m hoping three will be enough to cover us all with leftovers? They’re pretty big.”

They nodded in agreement and Clint leaned back in his chair and spun it a bit to entertain himself. Loki gave him a look and sighed, rolling his eyes.

“Okay, so cranberries: sauce, relish, or whole?”

“Sauce,” Phil voted first.

They all went around and it seemed sauce was the winner. Bruce wrote it down. “Canned good with everyone?” They all nodded and Loki and Thor shrugged saying they’d try it. “Okay, stuffing?”

“Is that the orange thing or the crumbly bread?” Thor asked.

“Crumby bread,” Bruce replied.

“Ah, then yes for me,” he said putting his hand on the table. He had meant to be gentle, but the sound was still loud. “Sorry,” he apologised and tried again, much gentler that time.

“Same,” Loki agreed with just a firm nod.

All votes agreed stuffing was in. They continued on and the list grew: mashed potatoes; steamed ginger carrots; cheesy broccoli; green bean casserole; yeast rolls; buttered corn, off the cob; sweet potatoes; and gravy.

“A boat ton,” Clint added.

“How big is the boat?” Thor asked thoughtfully.

“Joke, Thor,” Loki whispered to him.

“Oh,” he frowned at the table. “I am sad,” he confessed unhappily and looked at them all. “I thought there would be that much gravy!”

“There will be a lot,” Natasha promised, “Just maybe not a literal boat-load of gravy.”

“Oh,” he nodded considering it. “Then I am satisfied.”

“Anything else?” he looked around. No one added anything more. “Desserts then, Clint already mentioned pumpkin.”

“Apple,” Phil voted.

“A cheesecake sounds good,” Natasha said. “Anyone wanna do that or should we save it for Christmas?”

They thought about it and then agreed the cheesecake was better off at Christmas.

“Okay, pumpkin and apple so far. Anything else?”

“Chocolate,” Clint said.

“Christmas,” Natasha shook her head. “Then we can make it a warm pudding type or a fudgy brownie.”

“Okay, never mind, sold on chocolate for Christmas,” Clint announced withdrawing his vote.

“Pecan is a Thanksgiving tradition,” Fury offered.

“Pecan sounds good,” Steve nodded. They looked around at one another and agreed.

“Clint bought enough pumpkins, we should have enough to make several pies and even a few other treats to last us until around Christmas,” Natasha said.

“You’re welcome,” he smiled.

“We could do a pumpkin soup even,” Phil said. “But not on Thanksgiving,” he added quickly.

“I like the sound of pumpkin soup,” Natasha added. “We could make pumpkin muffins again too,” she said to Loki, who nodded agreeing.

“Or bread,” Clint threw out there in a tone that suggested if such a thing didn’t happen, or be acknowledged that it would happen, he would continue to suggest it until either was done.

“And bread,” Loki added patting Clint’s hand to reassure he’d been heard and would get it soon. “Those would be nice come the cold weather.”

“Okay, anything else?” Bruce added. No one said anything so he went over the list of things to do: “Alright, so Clint and Thor are on peeling and cutting; Loki said he can do pies; anyone else?”

“I’ll help with pies if you need it,” Phil offered.

“I’ll do rolls, corn, and the carrots,” Fury added.

“I’ll do the broccoli, casserole, and sweet potatoes,” Natasha said.

“I can also do the mashed potatoes,” Loki added.

“I can open cans and assist,” Thor threw in.

“I guess that leaves us to do turkeys?” Steve asked.

“If you want,” Bruce added with a shrug.

“Yeah, and the stuffing,” he nodded. “We can do it.”

“Alright: Loki on pies with Phil assisting; Loki also on potatoes; Fury on rolls, corn, and carrots; Natasha with brocs, green breans, and sweet pots; Thor and Clint on peeling and cutting and other assisting; Steve and I on stuffing and turkeys…that leaves gravy.”

“I’ll put Darcy on it,” Natasha said. “I know she’ll want to do something other than taste the food. If Selvig and Jane want to help they can assist people and help set the table.”

“Big shopping trip tomorrow?” Bruce asked. “I’ll look through the pantry tonight.”

“I’ve been saving bread heels in the freezer,” Natasha confessed. “For stuffing. Any and all bread that was near expiration too; if we leave them out for a bit they’ll get crunchy enough so they won’t be too soggy. We could even toast them.”

“You’re a genius,” Clint said.

“Thanks,” she winked at him.

“Alright, that was the easy part,” Bruce sighed and turned the holiday PowerPoint off. “The rest of our meeting involves updates from S.H.I.E.L.D., latest list of attacks on the city, mutant updates, and lastly the unexpected and unplanned unveiling on why we have the sceptre.”

Clint raised his hand.

“Yes?” he sighed, really hoping it wasn’t a stupid question or comment.

“Bathroom and snack break?”

“Bathroom, yes; snacks, no. Tony doesn’t want ants in the lab.”

“Fine,” he sighed and got up to use the restroom.

“We haven’t had breakfast yet,” Loki apologised to them. “He’s a tad grumpy.”

“We haven’t really eaten either,” Steve confessed looking at Natasha. She nodded in agreement.

“Anyone else?” Bruce asked looking calmly at them all.

“I am always hungry,” Thor admitted.

Bruce looked at Fury and Phil who nodded a little. “Fine,” he sighed. “Just don’t tell Tony.”

“I am obligated to –” JARVIS began.

“No!” Bruce said up at him. “Mike-Alpha-Romeo-India-Alpha.”

“Who authorises this override?” JARVIS asked; his tone changed to a more impersonal computerised one that spoke of willingly mindlessly following orders.

“Robert Bruce Banner,”

“Name and voice confirmed. Override accepted.”

He sighed. “Okay, as I was saying…don’t tell Tony.”

So they placed a call into a local restaurant and got Chinese. They ate at the table as Bruce explained S.H.I.E.L.D.’s movements around the globe.

“May’s confirmed her team is back in the air,” Phil said. “She also hinted that she thinks something big is about to go down. Source wishes to remain unknown for their protection,” he added before Clint could ask.

“Alright, any news from Clay?” Clint asked and stuffed lo mein noodles in his mouth.

“Silence. Nothing from him, Wilson, or Hill,”

“I saw Wilson in the sky the other day,” Natasha added. “I think they’ve put him back on project Falcon.”

“What’s project Falcon?” Thor asked.

“EXO-7 Falcon, it was the unit he was assigned too,” Fury began explaining. “Project Falcon was used as a way to recruit former Armed Forces members into our system. They wore packs with movable mechanical wings, jet pack, and provided a light weight, versatile, and easily control alternative to traditional parachutes. They are designed for a wearer and a passenger if needed. We were training them for extraction operations. The first six teams and designs failed. The seventh was cancelled.”

“Why?” Steve asked.

“Wilson’s partner was killed,” Fury explained. “I talked him into joining on with S.H.I.E.L.D. anyways. He was the last agent I trained, and I made sure he became Maria’s second hand. He’s good people.”

“Why would they start it up again?” Bruce asked. “If it was cancelled from a death –”

“It’s easier to observe from the sky than it is from the ground sometimes,” Phil explained. “Especially in a city when no one looks up a majority of the time.”

“I think they also are testing it to see if he will train and lead a squad of them. To have something like that drop out of the sky and pick up one of you after you’ve been stunned would be very easy and convenient for S.H.I.E.L.D.,” Fury said honestly.

“They’re getting desperate then,” Steve said rubbing his mouth.

“That attack against us in Virginia wasn’t a sign of their desperation then?” Phil asked and then rolled his eyes. “That’s a mess too! May could only tell me something was mixed up and lost in translation. She confirmed seeing the signed report from Hill which stated a capture no kill attack, but somehow a team was led with kill no capture orders.”

“Someone on the inside is out to get us,” Natasha said surprised. “Do we know who led it?”

Phil shook his head. “She wouldn’t say. I think they might be close to her network though.”

“If she’s keeping sources anonymous and not saying who led an attack she saw the paperwork on then something up,” Clint reasoned. “May’s great with keeping secrets, but this? This is _too_ secretive, even for standard S.H.I.E.L.D.”

“Agreed,” Fury nodded.

“May has also reported Pierce has been involved more in the running of S.H.I.E.L.D. She also noted that Hill seems to be in way over her head. She’s worried about her.”

Natasha and Clint’s faces dropped.

“Oh man,” he whispered.

“Poor Hill,” Natasha said. “I know she wanted to one day take over, but I never thought things would fall to hell like this.”

“Neither did I,” Fury admitted. “And I am tremendously sorry for not staying as long as I could to help her before I was forced out.”

“May also said there are only four councilmembers now. The rest haven’t been told yet that they were demoted,” Phil finished.

“Can we have some good news?” Clint asked and selected a few honey glazed pieces of chicken to stuff into his mouth.

“Um, we could move onto the next topic, since I think that’s all for that one?” Bruce looked to Fury and Phil to be certain. They nodded. “Okay then, the latest attacks on the city.” He picked up a piece of paper, “Petty crime, gang violence, and regular mafia activity are all at standard levels. There has been a rise in break-ins of museums and banks led by a female cat burglar. We’ve run into her before, with Sandman and the weird guy with the target on his head.”

“Copy-cat Bullseye,” Clint nodded remembering it.

“Sort of wrong,” Bruce said considering it.

“Don’t tell me I’m wrong, I put the first away,” Clint said getting defensive.

“Clint,” Loki said quickly grabbed his arm, trying to gently draw his attention to the danger he was courting.

“Sorry,” he said realising what he was doing and backed off. “I’m sorry. I just…I don’t like him.”

“It’s fine,” Bruce said taking a breath. “We intercepted a signal that said someone had broken into one of the facilities and busted out several of the high-security prisoners.”

“We gotta list?” Natasha asked.

Bruce pushed a button and a list came up. “Cain Marko, Parker Robbins, and…” he paused and read the last name. “Emil Blonsky.”

“I’m sorry Bruce,” Natasha said sympathetically.

“It’s fine,” he said waving a hand and rubbed his forehead.

“I don’t see Bullseye on that list,” Clint pointed out, the anger seeping back into his tone.

“He was never taken to the facility,” Fury said. “We were going to take him to a special island and try to rehabilitate him. The U.S. army couldn’t get a word out of him when we first caught him; I thought we could,” he shrugged.

“He never made it to the island,” Phil finished. “One of my duties, before I had to leave my team, was to track him down.”

“But that wasn’t him,” Clint said sitting up. “I remember that freak; that _wasn’t_ him. The one that attacked us with the she-cat and Sandman wasn’t him. I remembered _that_ dude.”

“Clint calm down,” Natasha said gently.

“No you calm down,” he said rising quickly from his seat.

Loki knew this wasn’t all about the true identity of the man who had attacked them. This was a little more personal and went much deeper into Clint’s past. He gently stood and put a hand on Clint’s shoulder, opening his mind to him and took several calming breaths. “It wasn’t him…” he said to reassure him.

Clint looked at him, his eyes wild and sort of unfocused as he struggled between the present and the past. He took a breath and then grabbed Loki’s arm.

“It wasn’t _him_ , Clinton,” he promised and put his other hand on his face. “He’s gone.”

Natasha looked away, realising what Loki was talking about.

“Who?” Thor asked, but she motioned for him not to worry about it and the rest of them looked away and remained silent while the two of them sorted it out.

“What…what if he’s not?” he panted, struggling to hide how scared he was.

“He’s gone,” Loki said seriously. “It wasn’t him.”

Clint closed his eyes and nodded, letting Loki guide him back to his seat. The god moved his chair close to Clint’s again so he could cradle his head to his chest and comfort him.

“How about we break for a while?” Bruce suggested.

They agreed and everyone left the room to give Clint and Loki privacy.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, still trying to calm himself down. “I’m sorry, I just…sometimes…” He shook his head and wiped at his eyes.

“Don’t apologise,” Loki said and brushed his hair from out of his face before soothing his fingers over his brow. “If I can’t be sorry to you when I have an attack, you can’t be sorry to me.”

“Fair enough…” he whispered and pulled back enough to rub at his face. “Oh my god…” he sniffed and wiped at his eyes. “I…I don’t want to talk about it yet,” he said.

Loki nodded. “We both agreed we’d never pressure one another about it.” He put his hands on Clint’s shoulders and pressed his lips to Clint’s forehead. “Take your time.”

“Oh god…” he sighed and sniffed a few times; “I need to use the restroom,” he said getting up.

Loki let him go. Natasha returned.

“Where’s he?” she asked softly.

“Bathroom,” he said leaning back and rubbed his own forehead. “I think we’ll be able to resume when he returns.”

She nodded. “Just have Jarvis call us back,” she replied and added before she left again. “No rush, seriously.”

Loki nodded. The moment she left though he heard a crash from the bathroom and rushed to check on Clint. He found him hunched over the sink, his fist in the mirror, body ridged and shaking.

“Clinton,” he said gently and came up behind him, ready to put his hands upon him.

“Don’t.”

Loki stopped and waited until he’d relaxed enough, and then approached him again. He gently took his hand away from the broken mirror and began picking the shards from it.

“I’m good,” he said, his voice hard and empty. It made Loki shiver uncomfortably. He didn’t like how hollow it sounded. “I’m fine now,” Clint said seriously and looked Loki in the eyes. “We can keep going.”

Loki nodded. “Mr. Jarvis, please inform the others we’re ready when they are.”

“Yes, sir,” he replied.

He finished what he was doing in silence. Clint watched him all the while, and Loki made sure to not look him in the eyes again until he had finished cleaning and wrapping his hand up.

“There,” he said gently and made eye contact, keeping his head and look submissive under Clint’s harder gaze.

“I love you,” he said, his voice softening as he pulled Loki in for a kiss. Loki returned it with the same gentleness he’d careful employed bandaging his hand.

When they returned, everyone was back into place, except Bruce and Steve had traded jobs. Clint sat without looking at any of them. Loki sat as well, nodding at the soldier for him to begin.

“Um…we were talking about the crime and so on,” Steve said and cleared his throat. “Uh, Bruce and I ran into, who Clint has called, ‘she-cat’ the other night and now the papers have affectionately nicknamed her: Black Cat.”

“Original,” Loki muttered and raised a brow.

“Yeah,” Steven nodded. “She’s named mainly for her fast reflexes and use of her ‘claws’. She’s reported to move silently and sneak up upon her victims, many not knowing she’s around until it’s too late. We have no official identity, but Natasha did some digging,” he said pulling up her report on the screen, “and she found that right around the time of Black Cat’s big unveiling act to the public, with her grand weeklong streak of thefts, Walter Hardy was busted out of prison. He didn’t make it very far before he died, but his body was found in an alley. He wasn’t murdered, it was natural causes. He was laid to rest with a black mask in his hands and flowers. The prison guards reported a female figure in all black with a mask who attacked them. We did some more digging and found Walter Hardy was married and had a daughter. She was reported missing after being attacked in college.”

“I went and spoke with her mother,” Natasha added. “She said her daughter, Felicity, had always been fond of and impressed by her father. She gave me a few pictures and said that after she had been attacked in college, her boyfriend was killed. Her mother was worried she’d run away to hurt herself or had been kidnapped.”

“What sort of attack?” Thor asked.

“Sexual assault,” Natasha said and quickly glanced at Clint before looking back at Thor. “She tried to report it, but the school said they couldn’t do anything because it was her own fault.”

“That’s bullshit,” Clint said angrily and clenched his hands into fists. Loki put a hand over one of his and gave it a supportive squeeze.

“Agreed,” Thor said also upset.

“I suspect she’s got a lot going on, so we need to be careful with her. It might be why she’s so obsessed with attacking men rather than me,” she added. “She never seems to want to fight me. She also has tech that affects me, so I believe she might be in association with S.H.I.E.L.D.”

“What do you mean?” Loki asked thoughtfully.

“I don’t think she’s working for them,” Natasha explained. “But I think that in order to keep us focused on her and not on whatever they are doing, they’re giving her free reign and equipment. So long as they know she bothers us, we’re feeding into their plan.”

“Then we just ignore her,” Clint said with a decisive shrug. “If she attacks, defend and get away, but don’t pursue; is that how we’re dealing with this?”

“Yes,” Bruce nodded. “The police chief has been notified to do the same with his men.”

Steve pushed a button to clean the screen. “Um,” he said looking at Bruce’s notes. “Mutant updates: Xavier has been secretly working with Richards and his people to find and relocate mutants and their families. So far they have been able to relocate many to New Zealand, Denmark, and Switzerland. Sweden, Norway, and Finland also seem to be mutant supporting countries that are willing to take them in. Demark is where they are currently based. So, there is your good news,” he said to Clint.

“Yay,” he cheered sarcastically. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m thrilled, but also this is something that shouldn’t be happening; like they should be allowed to be with their families and safe in their own country.”

“No one disagrees with you,” Steve said. “But this is the best we can do for now.”

“I know,” Clint sighed. Loki gave his hand a supportive comforting squeeze again and they smiled at one another.

“Any questions?” Steve asked. Everyone shook their heads so he turned to Bruce.

He sighed and stood up. “Okay, the sceptre…” he began and didn’t look up from the table as he spoke. “Tony and I…we knew the sceptre was somehow linked to what happened to Loki, Selvig, and Clint and the Tesseract. We knew something with that sort of power was too much for S.H.I.E.L.D. to have. Thor said such things belonged to Asgard, so we took it. We hoped that if we found a way to contain the stone’s energy, we could remove it from the sceptre and send it with one of you back to Asgard.”

“You can’t touch it,” Loki said and glanced to where it was. “You can’t directly touch the stone, it’ll kill you.”

“We saw the tapes from S.H.I.E.L.D.,” Banner said with a solemn face. “I thought there might be a possibility of you still being sensitive to it, which is why we decided to keep it in the lab until we could find a way to ask you for help, without further upsetting you or triggering anything.”

Loki gave him a hard serious look. “Put it back in the box you took it from. Weigh it down and drop it into the deepest part of your oceans and pray no one ever finds it. If _he_ finds it,” he shivered and felt as though he’d be sick again. Clint quickly grabbed his hand. “I need air,” he whispered and left.

Clint got up to follow after him. “Keep going without us,” he said before he left the room.

Bruce waited before he continued talking. “It’s a Soul Gem,” he said to the others. Thor flinched.

“You knew that already,” Natasha observed as Fury and Phil remained unaffected by the news.

“Yes,” Fury replied shifting in his seat a bit. “I was hoping you all would remain ignorant of it for a little longer.”

“How much do you know?” Phil asked Bruce.

“That’s it, that’s all,” he shrugged. “I can’t get the files off the drive.”

“I gave you all I knew about it,” Fury said honestly. “I wasn’t even allowed access to them all, and I was the director.”

“I’ll take a crack at it,” Natasha offered. “Now that Tony gave access to us all, I’m allowed to come down here right?”

“Yes,” Bruce nodded. “You’re free to try getting into it. Tony can get it, but everything comes up in a weird language, and I can’t get it to open at all.”

“Thor?” Steve asked looking at him. “What do you know about Soul Gems?”

Thor shrugged. “I only know what the stories say. They were only tales when we were children. They never became a reality until someone found the Tesseract and weaponised it. My father was going to come down and take it back, but something protected it from his sight.”

“What do you mean?” Natasha asked.

“One moment he could see someone taking it out of the place he’d left it and the next it was as if it were no longer on the planet.”

“Do you know how much Loki knows?” Steve asked him.

Thor’s face turned hard. “My brother spent many ages studying history and lore. I have no doubt he knew about them before he was taken by…” he swallowed too afraid to even think the name. “His knowledge about them could only grow.”

“Do you think him knowing the sceptre is here will put us in any harm?” Phil asked seriously.

Thor looked stricken. He looked at them all in turn. “No,” he said sincerely. “No. It is not him you all must fear. It is the darkness; the magic that rages within him. That is what you must fear.”

“Do you think the darkness knows the sceptre is here?” Steve asked seriously.

“The darkness knows all he knows,”

“Do you think it knowing will put us in any harm?” said Bruce.

Thor was silent for a while. “I think it would be best if you do what he said. Bury it from all who seek its power. Some things are better left untampered with and left to become just stories.”

\-------------------------------------------------

Loki shook as he stood in the freezing rain. It felt wonderful on his skin and soothed the anxious fears that seemed to roll and rise up in side of him. He sighed contently and tilted his head up toward the sky.

“Loki,” Clint said from the door. He had an umbrella in hand and was ready to jump out after him. “Loki, you’ll get sick.”

“I can’t get sick,” he said and shivered, not due to the chilly climate but in relief as the cold wetness calmed him.

“You’re pale,” he said stepping out to him. “And you’re soaked now. Come on back inside.”

“Not yet,” he whispered and took a step back.

“Why not?”

Loki closed his eyes. “Clint you had your moment, let me have mine,” he begged.

Clint relaxed and nodded and he glanced at his bandaged hand. “Okay…fair enough…” he surrendered. “Do you want me to stand here or stay in the door?”

“Doorway. No use in you freezing and getting a cold,” he said and put a hand on Clint’s cheek. “I won’t be long, I promise. I just need air.”

Clint nodded and went back to stand in the open doorway to wait for him. Just as Loki had promised, he only stayed out there for about five minutes before coming inside. Clint had gotten him towels to dry off with and made him strip in the laundry space and get into a robe, similar to the one he was wearing, before going any further into the house. He led Loki into one of the barely used sitting rooms in the front of the house and turned the gas fire on before getting them both something warm to drink.

They sat in silence watching the flames play over the fake logs.

“I’m sorry,” Loki whispered, his voice rougher than what he thought it would be.

“I’m not mad,” he said honestly and put his arm on the back of the couch behind Loki. “I just want you to be safe.”

“That wasn’t fair of me to keep you at the door for so long,” he said and sipped his tea.

“If you needed to stay out there longer I’d have waited,” he replied and sipped his hot chocolate. “Hell I’d have even stood out there by you if you had requested it. That’s what people in love do.”

“Stupid things?” Loki asked with a small smile.

“Yeah,” he grinned at him and pulled him close. He kissed his cheek and pressed his forehead to the spot. “I love you.”

Loki turned into his embrace and clenched at the side of his robe with his free hand. “And I you,” he whispered closing his eyes and sighed contently.

There was a knock on the door. They turned to see who it was.

“Hey,” Natasha said and held up a stack of blankets. “I figured you might need these,” she said moving forward. “Warmed them up and everything.”

“Thank you,” Loki said. “You didn’t have to.”

“I know,” she said simply and shook the blankets out to tuck around them. “But that’s what friends do,” she said with an easy shrug and a small smile.

“Natasha,” Loki said seriously. She looked at him. “Would…would you do me a…monumental favour?”

“Yeah, what is it?”

“Remove the sceptre from the grounds,” he looked down at his cup and tried to control himself. “I fear nothing good will come of me knowing where it is now. It’s…like an addiction; that sort of power. You think you can stop, but you can’t. You may forget about it after a while, but given the chance to feel it again; that rush, that surge of energy running through you? It’s too tempting…”

She nodded. “I’ll talk with the others. It’ll be gone by the evening,” she promised.

“Thank you,” he whispered.

She came around and put a comforting hand on his shoulder before leaving.

“I know you don’t want me to apologise…” Loki started after he and Clint had sat in contemplative silence for too long. “So instead I beg you to tell me what is troubling your mind.”

Clint sighed and took a moment before answering. “I don’t know how to help you,” he confessed and looked down at his mug. “I know how I want to, but life doesn’t work like a daydream.”

Loki nodded and licked his lips. “I…I have something to tell you.” Clint nodded for him to go on. “I want you to help me…but at the same time…I want you to imprison me.”

Clint winced and shook his head. “No –”

“Yes,” he said calmly and put a hand over one of Clint’s. “Hear me out why…” he begged and watched as Clint struggled to. “This isn’t about being punished any more, I understand that you all have seen my good deeds and you know I never intended harm to anyone, but I know you’ve also see how dangerous I am and I don’t think you understand the extent at which I am capable of such damage. This…this darkness inside of me, it’s…it’s eating away. I can feel it…” he forced himself too take a deep breath and tried not to let his fears overcome him. “It’s chipping away at the walls I’ve put up and if it comes down to your safety over my life, please chose your safety,” he begged and put his hand on Clint’s cheek. “I can’t bear the thought of this hurting anyone else; especially you.”

Clint turned his face into Loki’s touch and kissed his palm. “If it hurts you it hurts me,” he reminded. “Soul mates, remember?”

“Then do it for the others,” he whispered and started shaking again. Clint held his hand to his face. “Clint…I’m a risk to you all, not only because of this tainted magic, but because of… _him_ ,” he barely uttered the last word aloud. “No matter where I run, no matter who I ask to help shelter me, no matter if I had the darkness or not, no magic or force of this universe is going to stop him from getting me.”

“We’ll help you,” Clint assured.

“You don’t know him,” he said gravely. “You don’t know his power…his thirst for death…he doesn’t understand the word forgiveness and he doesn’t believe in mercy. I don’t want any of you getting killed because of me.”

“No more,” Clint begged and kissed his palm again as he turned to face him. “I don’t want to talk about this… I don’t care about the dangers. I just want to kiss you. I want to marry you and share our lives together; whether that’s for a week or the full extent of our lives.”

Loki was taken aback. “Really?” he asked in a wavering voice.

“Of course. I love you,”

“I know,” he said.

“No,” he shook his head laughing a little. “I _love_ you. Every fibre of my being feels it. Every cell, every mitochondria, every tiny strand of DNA, every atom, every electron is screaming with how much I love you.”

“I feel the same,” he admitted. He realised then that Clint had something he wanted to say but was holding back. “What?” he asked.

“I feel like there was a silent ‘but’ at the end of your sentence,” he confessed.

Loki realised there had been: ‘I feel the same, _but_ I once loved so hard and so deeply and lost everything…I couldn’t do that to you’. He kept his mouth closed and thought about how best to respond. He took a breath and swallowed, remembering how it felt to confess such a fraction of his troubles to Natasha. He wanted that full relief. He wanted to give in and trust Clint with all of himself. “There…there is something I…I should tell you…” he began. He licked his lips and took a deep breath before opening his mouth to begin.

Suddenly Erik walked into the room. “Oh,” he said, his face going from content to hard and angry in an instant.

“Yeah?” Clint asked as Loki pulled his hand away and turned forward to stare down at his tea.

“I was looking for a quiet place,” he said glaring at Loki. “I normally come here to read.”

“Well we’re talking, so I doubt it’ll be quiet here,” he said and turned away. “Try the room down at the end of the next hall. It’s empty and no one goes in there.”

Erik clenched his jaw and then, thankfully, left without saying anything more.

“You were saying?” Clint said.

Loki had lost his nerve though. “I’m feeling better,” he said softly and didn’t look at him.

Clint’s face fell a bit, but he knew better than to press further. He pulled him to lean into his side and kissed the top of his head with a heavy sigh. “Shame this couch isn’t wide enough for us to spoon on,” he said and sipped his hot chocolate.

Loki smiled a bit. “I’m sure we can come up with another way to keep one another warm.”

Clint looked at him and Loki gave him a coy smirk. They snuggled up close to one another and kissed for a bit.

“Feeling warmer?” he asked him.

“Do you trust me?” Loki whispered.

“You know that answer,” he smiled.

Loki took Clint’s mug and set them both on the floor before leaning back. Clint hurried to shift and lay over him; his body nestled in between his legs. He tucked his arms under the god and laid his head upon his chest with a sigh.

“Better?” Loki smiled and played with his hair.

“So much…” he groaned and relaxed on top of him. He shifted a bit and then straightened the blankets Natasha had brought for them. “There, now we’re perfect.”

Loki hummed in agreement and brought his other hand to come up and play with the back of Clint’s neck. “Clinton…” he whispered after a while.

“Hm?” he asked, sort of half way between asleep and awake.

“I…I’m very grateful to have found you in this life,” he said softly.

Clint moved to press a small sleepy kiss upon his chest. “Ditto.”

His confession and the ease at which Clint had taken it made Loki hopeful. He smiled and closed his eyes with a grateful sigh of relief before letting the crackling of the fake logs and the warmth of the fire lull him to sleep.

\-------------------------------------------------

Bruce hung up the phone. He’d spent the better part of the day working on getting the sceptre to a secure location as soon as possible.

“So?” Natasha asked.

“Tony said we can store it in one of his father’s vaults.”

“Is it still on the property?”

“No, there is one on an island somewhere near Greenland. He said he’ll send us the coordinates through Jarvis. They’ll be in a timed file so once we have them it’ll disappear in case…” he shrugged not wanting to finish his thoughts.

Natasha nodded and put a hand on Bruce’s shoulder. “I know you meant well,” she said.

“My best intentions often turn into such disasters,” he sighed rubbing at his face. “I’m going to call Jen and see if she’s okay.”

“It’s a shame she couldn’t stay for Thanksgiving,” Natasha said.

“Yeah, well, she’s not a fan of holidays,” he explained.

“Neither are you,”

He shook his head and sighed. “It’s different and hard to explain.”

Natasha watched him as he walked away. She sighed and looked around the lab before leaving. She went to the foyer, put on her coat and grabbed an umbrella before going out to check the mail. Stark was still trying to find a safe and easy way for them to get packages and letters without having to sort through a ton of fan and anti-fan stuff. He had had all mail redirected to one of his buildings in the city where his workers sorted and scanned through everything. If it was deemed fan: it went into a bin and waited for them to request it brought to the house to be looked over. If it was anything other: coupons, magazines, junk mail, or personal packages, they were brought over and left near the gate in a newly build shed.

She unlocked it and opened it to find several bins marked “Capt. America”. There was also a shelving unit with a few piles of letters and two boxes. She glanced and saw largest one was for Darcy and the smaller one was for her. She looked over the letters and grabbed them up before closing the shed and relocking it.

It wasn’t a perfect system, but it was what they had now. One day they’d come up with something better; probably whenever Tony returned.

“Hey,” Steve said meeting her at the door. “I was just about to check.”

“You’ve got mail,” she smiled and held up one letter. “Peggy,” she said giving it over. “But you also have fanmail too,” she added.

“I don’t think I’ll ever be able to keep up,” he admitted.

“They can’t expect you to have all the free time to answer them,” she smiled and patted his arm, giving him the umbrella before heading inside. “Mail!” she called and went into the kitchen to sort it out on the table.

“Anything for me?” Phil asked.

Natasha looked and found a letter from…Peggy? She frowned and gave it to him. “Yeah,” she said curiously.

“Oh,” he smiled fondly at the letter and then looked at her. “Um, big fan,” he said. “Y’know with her working with Steve and all.”

“Oh,” she said and laughed. “I forgot for a second how much of a nerd you are for Steve.”

“Yeah,” he chuckled. “My whole life.”

“Here, for Fury,” she said giving him the letters.

“Thanks,” he smiled and went off.

She dropped the rest on the table and took her package upstairs. She ran into Thor in the hall. He had a deep look about him and heaviness that suggested he needed time alone to brood.

He paused and gave her a polite nod as she approached him. “From a fan?” he asked.

“Nope,” she shook her head and held it up with a smile. “Just my gift that will hopefully make a couple very happy.”

It took a moment before his face registered what she’d meant by that. “Oh,” he replied and his entire demeanour changed; he seemed to suddenly brighten with joy.

“Sh,” she winked. “I have a feeling Clint wants to be sappy about it.”

“I have never been good at keeping secrets, especially from my brother.”

“Just don’t think about it,” she shrugged. “I’ll keep you updated on only what you need to know. The less information you have the less guilt and worrying you have to do, so the less likely you’ll look suspicious.”

“I do not think you understand,” he laughed shaking his head. “He is a parent and very strongly takes after our mother. There is no hiding truths from him. He can sniff secrets out just as well as any hound sniffing out the scent of boars in a hunt. Just as relentless too.”

“Well then I guess we better hurry up and make plans for these then, huh?” she grinned and then noticed something in his eyes. “It’s going to be alright,” she promised.

Thor’s smile fell a bit, but he gave a small nod. “I hope so, but then again, I have always been at fault for being overly optimistic. It has often gotten me into much trouble.”

“Trouble isn’t always so bad,” she shrugged.

“The trouble I court never seems grand,” he replied a little sombrely. “Forgive me; I am not suitable company at present.”

“I’ll let you be then,” she nodded and continued on to her room.

“Is he alright?” Thor asked turning around.

Natasha stopped and looked at him. “He’s…he seems shaken still, but when I left him he was fine. Bruce has made arraignments to put it away.”

“I hope it helps,” Thor confessed.

“I have faith it will,” she said decidedly. In truth she really didn’t have much, but she had to trust in the small voice in the back of her mind chanting for her to do so. Oddly, it sounded an awful lot like Clint. She smiled at that as she entered her room.

\-------------------------------------------------

Phil dialled his phone and stood in the corner, rubbing his forehead. He glanced at the letter on the desk and then turned away with a heavy sigh.

“Hello?” a soft female voice came over the phone.

“Sharon,” he sighed. There was a long pause of silence.

“Why are you being so reckless?” she asked, her voice softening even more. “Do you realise where I’m standing right now?”

“I trust you’re smart enough to stay safe for both of us,” he replied simply. “I need a favour.”

“I can’t send you anything,”

“I don’t need that, I just need you to sign something,” he sighed rubbing at his eyes, trying to keep the moisture gathering there from turning into tears.

“What’s wrong?” she asked, her voice growing serious.

“I need to move mom,” he sighed. “She’s…she’s not doing so well. I can’t get her back here without a few signatures.”

“Send me the paperwork,” she replied simply. “The old house, I have to swing by there to check on things anyways.”

“Thank you,” he whispered and sniffed, wiping at his nose quickly to check for snot.

“How’s your brother?”

“Oh, y’know,” he chuckled, “Still a dick. Haven’t heard from him since he sent her off on a vacation with the intention of never bringing her back.”

“And your sister?”

“Same,” he said growing serious. “How much do you know about her condition now?”

“Just what is said through the grapevine,”

“Then you know what I’m asking,”

“Yes,” she almost sighed. “Don’t worry about it anymore. It’s my turn to take care of her. You stay doing whatever you’re doing. I’ll send word,” she promised.

“Thanks,”

“That’s what family is for,” she replied. “Don’t call me again,” she warned; her voice hard. “You’re going to get my ass roasted or worse.”

“I’m sorry,” he said honestly. “I promise. I’ll wait for you to. Thanks for the packet though.”

“What packet?”

He frowned. “The one you gave me. It was filled with the information to find what we were looking for.”

“I didn’t give you anything,” she replied, her voice also taking on a confused tone. “I’m not just saying that either. I haven’t seen you since the invasion.”

“Oh,” he said softly. “Then never mind. I must have…sorry; but thank you for the help with mom.”

“Again, family,” she replied. “Take care of yourself.”

“You too,” he said and waited quietly until she’d hung up the phone. He glanced back at the letter and then folded it and hurried to hide it. He went to Fury’s room and knocked on the door.

“Yeah?” he replied.

Phil opened it. “It wasn’t her,” he said softly.

Fury put his book down as a look of thoughtful worry crossed his features. “Then the trouble in S.H.I.E.L.D. is worse than what we thought…” he said softly. “I need to make a call,” he said carefully and then glanced at the ceiling.

Phil nodded, understanding he meant he needed a secure one that the Avengers wouldn’t know about. “I’ll charge my phone then,” he said simply and shut the door before grabbing his things and heading down to the gym.

\-------------------------------------------------

Jane sighed and tossed another failed theory toward the wastebasket in the corner.

“Hey,” Darcy said from the bed where she was playing her DS, having nothing else to do after being relieved from kitten duty. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” she said rubbing her face.

Darcy paused the game and looked at her. “What’s wrong?”

“I…” she shook her head. “I don’t know. I guess…I’m just tired…” she sighed again giving up.

“Maybe a walk?” Darcy suggested glancing at the clock.

“No,” she shook her head and then got up. “But…I need…to move.” She grabbed a sweater and her boots before heading out the door.

“I mean…that’s what people do when they walk,” Darcy muttered to herself. She shook her head and continued her game.

Jane grabbed her coat from the closet and headed back up the stairs. She knew that she could access the roof from a small room off the side of the servant’s quarters. It was a little service room that had a boarded up dumbwaiter and some unused furniture. There was a ladder that led up to a hatch that popped out on the back side of the house. She flipped up her hood and climbed it. There was a small ledge on the roof. Nothing large and grand, but just wide enough that she could walk until she grew uncomfortable with the dangerous conditions she’d put herself in and then sit down.

Thankfully the rain had subsided, but it was still bitterly cold. She noticed someone had salted the stone and wondered just how often the roof was used. She got her answer when she lifted her head some and found someone in a dark hoodie, hunched over staring at their feet. Well, it wasn’t someone, she knew who it was. There was only one person in the world with those shoulders and that particular shade of blonde hair. The strands that had slipped out the side of the hood were waving in the evening wind, and although it looked the rain had been gone for a while she could smell the threat of another storm. She suddenly wondered if they had been expected or were part of his creation.

She really didn’t feel like asking him; it somehow made her feel intrusive. She stood there awkwardly pending on if she should turn back or sit just a few steps away when he seemed to sense her and turned his head.

“Do you wish me to leave?” he asked.

Him leave? She was the one intruding. “No, I just…I…I’ll go.”

“I’ve finished my business here; if you wish peace alone I will not deny you it,” he said getting up.

She noticed he had a small bag of rock salt next to him. “Did you do this?” she asked pointing to the ground.

“I did not wish for anyone to become injured,” he replied as he rolled the top of the bag down and brushed his pants off. “I brought a small seat too,” he said pointing to where he had been sitting. There was a plastic stadium seat, like the kind her and her mother would use when watching her brother’s football tournaments during a light rain. “So you will not have to sit in the water,” he further explained.

“Thank you,” she said and carefully stood to the side of the hatch.

Thor shook his head. “I’ll fly down,” he said. “It will lessen the chances of you slipping and falling.” He reached into his hoodie and pulled out Mjölnir.

“How did you do that?” she gasped, completely stunned.

He frowned at her and then looked down at his hammer, suddenly understanding what she meant. “Her magic. If I chose to carry her with ease in secret she allows me to.”

“Does…It…” she bit her lip not sure how to ask her question.

“If you’re wondering how, I don’t know how to answer that myself,” he gave her a small apologetic smile. “I only know what she will let me do, some details and understanding of certain things, yet nothing more.”

“Oh,” she nodded and scratched a little at her head.

“I shall leave you then,” he said, regretting how awkward his words sounded.

“Do you remember when we first met?” she suddenly burst out before Thor could take off.

Thor laughed. “Of course, you hit me with your car. Not an easy thing to forget,” he admitted and rubbed a little as his forehead.

“Oh, sorry,” she winced. “I meant…like after all of that…when…never mind.”

“I will not judge you,” he promised.

She looked him over and then took a few steps closer to him. “You told me about Yggdrasil. How the realms are all connected and…I just…I…” she shrugged. “My research relies on theories and facts…I…I don’t know,” she shook her head. “I’m just…it’s still a lot to take in and I don’t know if…I understand it all,” she confessed.

“I offer you my assistance. How may I be of service?”

“Do you have time?” she joked with a laugh that was half forced.

“Yes,” he nodded seriously. She sobered and stared at the odd hopeful light that shone in his eyes. Or maybe that was just her being hopeful.

“Um,” she said tucking her hair behind her ear.

“Here,” Thor said gesturing to the seat as he carefully stepped over it.

“Thanks,” she said and sat on it. “What about you?”

“I won’t take chill so easily,” he shrugged and sat on the damp salty stone. “And if I do the chances of me becoming ill from it are very slim. I don’t mind,” he promised.

“If you’re sure?” she pressed.

“Very,” he smiled at her in a way that made her heart flutter. She hadn’t seen that smile since the last time they were on a roof together.

“Why earth?” she shrugged. “Why did Loki try to destroy this planet?”

Thor’s face fell. He looked away from her. “You must understand…my brother did not maliciously attack your realm willingly. After I left you and returned to Asgard, he and I quarrelled. It was terrible and I, with no regard for anyone or thing other than my own selfish desires, destroyed the Bifrost. He fell and was lost to the void between the worlds…” his voice faded and regret hung thick around him. “After surviving through untold horrors, he was taken by an ancient enemy and tortured…he came here under the same influence he put upon Clinton and Erik. He was a slave to the st –” he stopped and cleared his throat, “to the sceptre’s desires,” he decided to finish.

“Do you honestly believe that?” she asked seriously.

“Yes,” he nodded. “I have been around him long enough to spot a lie…even if it takes a while for me to see the truth. He is sincere in his actions now. Before, he was not. I have realised that when I returned here I knew something was wrong with him; though I was too blind to fully take time to sort it out.”

“Darcy said you thought he was dead,”

“Yes,” he swallowed thickly and cleared his throat. “I am certain that played in to my not fully assessing his actions and state of being. I was just so…” he swallowed and looked down at his lap. “I was so happy he was alive. Nothing exists within the void, or nothing that we know of. Nothing I care to know of,” he shuddered a little. “Any tales of survivors we had heard growing up were too incredible to be real. They were made to scare us, to stay away from the edges and to be mindful. I have only known one unfortunate person who claimed to have come from it. He was driven out of his mind and plagued with an evil that ate his soul. I doubted he had really come from the void…I would still if I had not seen my brother…though his sanity is in far better shape than that man’s. I fearfully believe is it due to…some influence,” Thor said catching himself before he accidently spoke of the darkness to anyone other than those who already knew.

“From his captor?” she asked curiously.

“Yes,” he nodded, hoping the lie was as smooth as his brother’s always were.

“I’m sorry for Selvig’s behaviour…and for hitting your brother.”

“You are not responsible for him, and as for you hitting Loki,” he laughed a little. “He actually respects you. He thinks you are very strong and true, and those are qualities he admires.”

“Well, I’m glad I held back hitting him a little harder then,” she said.

“I did not mean strength in the manner of the force of your blow, but as in the manner of your heart, your spirit, your…” he shrugged and looked away from her, finding it odd how embarrassed he felt saying such things aloud. “You.”

“Me?” she tucked her hair behind her ear and smiled looking away.

“Yes…all of you. Everything that makes you…you.”

They didn’t look at one another or speak for a while. Not until Jane’s teeth were loudly chattering and she couldn’t hide her shivering.

“You are chilled,” he said and got up, offering her a hand.

“I’m fine,” she lied, but she knew her lips must be blue.

“I will not let you catch cold. We can seek a warmer place to continue conversing. If…” he added and lost some of his confidence. “If you…still wish to continue, that is?”

“Yeah,” she nodded and took his hand, trusting he wouldn’t let her fall or slip as she quickly stood. “I’d…I’d like too.”

His wide grin was his only answer. Jane felt her stinging cheeks heat slightly and she knew her blush could be clearly seen in the evening light.

“You know…” he began carefully. “There is a full moon just after your Feast of Thanks.”

“Uh,” she said confused for a moment. “Oh, Thanksgiving,” she laughed realised what he meant. “Yeah, I remember writing it down.”

“Yes,” he said and then hesitantly began, “If…” he cleared his throat. “I know the city’s lights inhibit the beauty of the night sky…I was wondering if you’d know of a better place to see such an event?”

“Yeah,” she nodded, recalling a place not too far out of the city that was just an open field, perfect for stargazing. “I might know of a spot,” she smiled and then felt a little awkward doing so. “Um…so…”

“Oh yes,” he said and let go of her hand and made sure she didn’t slip when she turned around to lead them back inside. He couldn’t tell if her smile held the same shy hope he was trying to hide from his, but something inside of him relaxed and he found it easier to breathe around her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If something looks wrong or doesn't read right, please let me know and I'll fix it.
> 
> Someone wrote me a long message on tumblr demanding why I put Clay with Melinda. I hadn't finished watching Agents of SHIELD season 2 until very recently. I haven't even started watching this new season. I'm terribly behind, and I'm sorry if any of you are fiercely upset with that pairing. I didn't honestly think they'd stick her with someone else, but...it was what my mind was rolling with to help set up this thing it's doing. I hope it didn't put any of you off from further reading though.
> 
> Take care everyone!


	55. Chapter 55

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! Sorry for the super long wait. I've been dealing with some personal health and family stuff. I've finally got a little time and reliable internet to post this. I want to thank you all for your patience and support for this story. Honestly without you all this wouldn't be a thing. I know posts are erratic, but I really do appreciate you all hanging in there. I hope this story continues to be enjoyable for you all.
> 
> If there are any mistakes or things that don't make sense, please don't hesitate to let me know and I'll fix them. Please enjoy!

\----------------------55----------------------

He lay there waiting for sleep to clear his mind. It was cold. It had been getting colder by the day, but that morning it was particularly frosty. The sky outside was a warm grey; the light from the sun was blocked by the fluffy wintery clouds that teased that today might be the first sign of snow. Clint sat up and found Jareth curled tightly in a ball, lying between his legs. He was almost using his junk for a pillow that’s how high up his thighs he was nestled. Clint carefully scooted back.

The movement woke the kitten. He bolted up and stared at him. Clint petted his head and then moved his legs together. Jareth looked around at the mountains around him closing in. He quickly jumped out from between them to safety and stretched. He yawned and shook his head once he was done contorting his limbs and sat there watching the archer. Clint got up and did the same, minus the head shaking, and opted to scratch the back of his head instead. He popped into the bathroom, Jareth hot on his heels, and relieved himself.

Jareth pawed at the counter, knowing that was the next place Clint would go. He also knew water was up there. Clint closed the lid and flushed the toilet before washing his hands and then nudged the wicker woven laundry basket closer to the counter. Now Jareth could make it up to where he wanted unassisted. He hurried to the sink and began pawing at the taps until Clint turned the other sink’s tap on for him to play in and gently nudged Jareth away when he ventured too close to his. He didn’t want to get toothpaste on him or have to worry about him trying to ingest it or another string of dental floss again.

The kitten wouldn’t be swayed. He kept coming back to the sink Clint was standing before, as if he’d made it into a game or something. Clint eventually grew impatient and pushed him into the other sink. Jareth meowed as he ended up in the water. He crawled up out of it and shook himself off.

“Jareth!” Clint hissed a little as he uselessly tried to stop the spray of water droplets landing on him by holding up his hands.

Jareth meowed and turned to play in the water.

Clint rolled his eyes and started washing his face to finish waking himself up.

“It’s snowing,” Loki said sleepily from the door as he rubbed his eyes. Ást was by his feet, rubbing himself against his ankles and calves for attention.

“Is it?” he asked and rinsed his mouth with some water.

Loki hummed and went to the toilet. He lifted the lid and sat to relieve himself. Ást leapt onto the counter and brushed himself against Clint’s stomach as he dried his hands.

“Good morning,” he said and petted him.

Jareth went to the edge and made as if he were about to jump. Clint stopped him. “No, you’re still too small.”

Jareth meowed unhappily and rubbed his face against Clint’s arm angrily.

Loki came to wash his hands and the two hurried to him for attention. “I see you’re wet,” he said to Jareth. The kitten meowed at him. “Did he? What a brute,” he said sympathetically and rinsed his face before accepting the towel Clint handed him. “Thank you,” he said.

“How hard is it snowing?” Clint asked.

“It just started; it was raining earlier,” Loki said and sniffed before turning the water off and holding out his arm. Ást quickly climbed onto his shoulder and Jareth tried to follow. Loki scooped him up before he could get very far and held him close to his chest, drying him with the hand towel.

“It’s cold,” Clint said shivering and rubbed his arms.

Loki glanced at the archer’s chest and smirked. “Yes…it is isn’t it?”

Clint glanced down and realised his nipples were rock hard and his chest was covered in a thin sheet of goose bumps. He covered himself with his arms and looked at Loki, whose body was completely unaffected by the temperature.

“Good thing you wore such warm pants to bed,” the god said over his shoulder as he left the bathroom.

Clint was grateful too. His nuts were already snuggled too tight to his body for comfort; if he’d gone to bed fully naked they’d have been sitting inside him for warmth at that moment. He hurried to dress for the day. He almost forgot about not leaving his socks out for Jareth to snag, but grabbed them just in time. The kitten still had a firm bite on them, but a small game of tug-of-war showed Clint that the kitten was only interested in easy conquests.

Loki brushed his hair out before the bathroom mirror and started braiding it tightly from the top. He got to about halfway down his scalp before he tied it off, leaving half of it to hang down, and then took up a different brush. It was a soft sensory brush. He started brushing Ástnæmr, who had been sitting there as patiently as a Sphynx could; only meowing for attention sparingly as he waited for Loki to finish so he could have his turn.

The cat purred and stretched as Loki ran the finely toothed brush over his body. The super thin flexible bristles tickled and soothed the Sphynx’s skin. Loki had found it while he was out with Natasha the other day. They were on a sale shelf near the women’s hair products next to several plastic body massagers and a busted up looking package of hair things. He’d rubbed one on the tender part of his arm and was amazed at how incredibly soft it was. He even pushed it hard into his skin and found it did not prick or hurt him, so he decided he’d buy it for the cat. He knew Ást had started to become jealous watching Jareth being brushed with a small cat brush. Loki felt bad for he couldn’t risk trying the same on him due to his lack of a full coat.

Jareth jumped onto the counter and got in Ást’s way. He meowed and Loki smiled and took up his little cat brush. He ran it over Jareth’s back and the kitten’s bottom rose up into the air. Ástnæmr put his front paws on Jareth’s back to get Loki’s full attention again and the god tapped the counter to his left. Ást looked at the spot and then meowed at Loki. Jareth moved out from under him.

Loki tapped the spot again, this time holding the sensory brush. Ástnæmr went over knowing the sight of the brush meant it’d be used on him. Loki continued to run the brush over the Sphynx’s body and used his other hand to brush at the Bengal’s.

“Your hair is cute,” Clint said coming in.

“Thank you,” Loki replied and glanced at himself in the mirror to make sure the top of his hair was smoothed down against his scalp enough.

“I knew you could braid, but I didn’t think you could French braid.”

“What is the difference?” he asked and handed Clint the Bengal’s brush so he could finish the job for his cat.

“A regular braid is like what you do with Thor’s hair, you just separate three parts and twist them around one another and tie it off. French is you start at the top and keep it close to the scalp, pulling random strands in to add to the three main parts. It looks fancy and stuff.”

“Oh,” Loki said and rubbed the sensory brush on Ást’s belly. The cat meowed loudly and stretched out purring in a crazed sort of manner. “Are you going to train today?” he asked.

“Yeah, I’ve really been lacking on my normal routine.” He lifted up his shirt and patted his belly. “Getting fat!” he said.

“You’re not fat,” Loki chuckled.

“If I don’t start training again I will be,”

“I’ll still love you,”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

“What are you doing today?” he asked looking at him.

“Natasha, Darcy, Thor, and I are going out to buy things for the holiday.”

“The maids will be in today,”

“Good, we’re running out of the cleansing paper,” Loki said and then considered his words. “Or…the…toilet paper…correct?”

“Yes. Did you get more soap?”

“No, I will get us that,”

“Would you mind picking me up some razors?”

“Do you need cream as well?”

Clint smirked at the way the god had subtly emphasised the word ‘cream’. “Yeah and lotion. Get a big bottle of lotion. My skin is getting dry.”

“Planning on getting me to rub you down?” he teased.

“Planning on rubbing you down,” he leaned over and whispered in his ear.

Loki blushed and laughed as he set the brush aside, but continued to pet Ást as he shyly looked at the archer. “Anything else?”

“Surprise me,” he grinned.

Loki patted Ást’s belly in gentle farewell before giving Clint’s cheek a kiss.

The archer set the cat brush down and turned, pulling him into a warm embrace. “Stay safe.”

“You as well,”

They kissed and Loki left the bathroom to put his boots on. Ást followed him.

Jareth meowed and pawed at Clint. “I know, I know,” he said picking the brush back up and continued to run it along his coat until he’d covered almost every spot.

He patted Jareth’s bottom and set the brush down before going to grab his things. The kitten followed him, carefully hopping from counter to hamper to floor, curiously meowing all the while. Ástnæmr had snuggled up back under their covers after Loki had left. He noticed Loki had slipped the sweater on him before leaving and loved how adorable he looked in it when he checked on him.

“Keep your brother warm,” Clint suggested as he put his boots on and slung his quiver over his shoulder.

Jareth meowed loudly again and pawed at the spot where Loki normally set their food dish.

“Yeah, someone will feed you, but it’s not time,” he said, taking a wild guess at what he wanted.

Jareth meowed annoyed.

“I’ll be back,” he promised as he scooted out the door. Jareth tried following him, so he had to toss a bell ball into the room. Thankfully the sound and movement caught the kitten’s attention and he raced after it, leaving the door cleared for Clint to close without squishing him in it.

\-------------------------------------------------

Clint did his normal routine: pull ups, sit ups, rope climbing, swinging from bar to bar, jogging around the track, and squats. When he took a break, he snatched his water bottle up and tipped his head back; drinking as much water he could get into him before he felt too full. He sighed and wiped his faced off on a towel before pulling his long sleeve shirt off and walked to the elliptical bike. He decided to pull his t-shirt off as well, as he sat down and started an easy pace.

Steve entered.

“Hey,” he said waving at him.

“Hey,” Steve said as he wound tape around his hands. “Natasha out with Loki?”

“Yeah, getting stuff for the big day,”

He nodded. “Is…” he paused and shook his head before going to the punching bag in the corner.

“‘Is’ what?” Clint asked anyways.

“Is…the other day…” he sighed, not turning to face him. “Is Loki alright?”

Clint remained quiet for a few moments as the tension between them grew. He knew what Steve had really wanted to ask was: ‘Is Loki still a threat?’. He was grateful Rogers was sensible and compassionate enough to have carefully chosen his words. “Yeah,” he said softly.

“I didn’t mean –” he began in apology.

“No, it’s fine,” he promised. “He’s doing much better now. He hasn’t had a darkness attack since the sceptre was moved…I think that might have been the cause. Y’know, in the tower it was still around, but not close; and here it was closer. That’s why they got so bad or something – I don’t know.”

Steve nodded and then began hitting the bag.

An odd uncomfortable silence fell around them. Clint decided to leave the bike and start doing pull-ups again. He was surprised that his body was so tired. He must be in worse shape than what he’d thought if his normal routine had him already sore and winded. Damn…

“ _Damn_!” came a voice from behind him. He turned to see who had spoken and found Darcy standing there.

“I thought you went with Tasha and Loki?” he asked as he dropped down from the bar.

“I did,” she said coming over to him. “We’re back now. I came to ask you what you wanted for lunch.”

“Anything is fine,” he said honestly.

She nodded and turned to watch Steven for a bit. He was still aggressively pummelling the bag, lost to his thoughts and the past. “Um…” she said and made an unsure face.

“I’ve got it,” he told her and walked toward Steven. “Hey!” he called.

Steven let out a mean right hook and sent the bag flying down the track away from him. It flew so fast it bounced back to its original position almost immediately. He turned to face him; his face dark and brooding. It cleared a little when he noticed who was talking to him.

“Sorry,” he cleared his throat. “What is it you wanted?”

“What do you want for lunch?” Clint asked.

“Whatever is fine,” he said and turned back to continue beating the punching bag.

Clint looked at Darcy and went to grab his towel and water bottle. He tossed his shirts over his shoulder and walked with her back upstairs.

“What’s his problem?” she whispered softly, on edge, trying not to invoke the soldier’s wrath.

“PTSD,” Clint shrugged. “We’ve all seen some shit.”

“Oh,” she whispered and thoughtfully watched the ground in front of her as they walked.

They entered the kitchen and found Natasha and Loki working together.

“They both said anything was fine,” Darcy reported dutifully.

“Salad sound good?” Natasha asked when she noticed Clint’s lack of shirt.

“Yeah,” Clint said and rubbed his stomach before going over to get in Loki’s space. “Kiss?” he asked pushing out his lips.

“I’m surprised you didn’t grab at me,” Loki said as he focused on adding dried cranberries to the giant bowl of lettuce and spinach leaves.

“I’m sweaty and stinky,” Clint explained.

“Never stopped you before,” he muttered yet smiled and turned to give him a quick kiss.

“Fine, come here,” he said reaching for him.

“Clint, no,” he laughed holding his hands against his chest to keep distance. Clint continued to pull him close and leaned his face forward so that he could press loud kisses on him. He got his cheek, his chin, his ear, and his neck before letting go so that Loki could finish what he was doing.

Loki continued to laugh as he went to wash his hands and finished tossing the salad.

“How is the workout going?” Natasha asked.

“Hard,” Clint admitted and patted his belly making a pouty face. “I got a little fat not doing much these past few months.”

“You are not fat!” Romanoff and Loki said at the same time.

“I didn’t mean – never mind,” he sigh heavily. “How soon until lunch?”

“Now,” Natasha said as she finished slicing another tomato. “Get what you want,” she said sliding them off of the cutting board and onto a plate with sliced cucumbers, onions, and cheese.

He grabbed a bowl and started putting the leafy mixture Loki had brought together in it. He took a few cucumbers, some cheese, threw some chickpeas, sliced mushrooms, and warmed up chicken chunks in it before pouring vinaigrette over it and taking it to the table.

Loki added berries and fruit to his and chose to top his with a Greek yoghurt dressing and some pecans. He sat next to Clint. “Have you finished for the day?”

“No,” he sighed. “I should do some practice, but I don’t want too,” he admitted. “I want to play a game or go out.”

“Then go,” Loki shrugged. “You can practice tomorrow.”

“Do you want to come with me?” he asked smiling at him.

“Why not?” Loki said and returned the smile.

Clint waited until Loki wasn’t looking at him to glance at Natasha. She nodded and went into the other room for a few seconds before returning.

“The others should be down whenever,” she said and made herself a bowl. She sat down as well.

Darcy made herself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with three slices of bread and took an apple from out of the fruit bowl. She came over and sat down with them.

They started up a simple conversation about what they did at the store and what they were excited most for Thanksgiving. Thor came down and made himself a bowl of salad, putting lots of chicken on it and then drowned it in ranch; Jane made Mac and Cheese, but left to eat it in her room so that she could continue working; Thor made four packets of ramen; and Bruce showed up and ate a little of the salad before hurrying off to finish whatever he was working on from before. Natasha took a bowl down to Steve when he failed to make an appearance.

“What does he do down there?” Darcy asked.

“Who?” Clint said.

“Dr. Banner,”

“Science,” Clint shrugged and then stood. He massaged Loki’s neck a bit as he came to stand behind him. “I’m going to shower real fast.”

“Don’t keep me waiting,” he said and they kissed briefly before Clint set his bowl in the sink and hurried off.

Loki narrowed his eyes as he watched him leave.

“What?” Darcy asked.

“He’s hiding something…” Loki said and took his own bowl to the sink.

“How do you know that?”

Loki tapped the side of his head.

“Intuition?”

“You could call it that,” he said crossing his arms over his chest and mulled over the matter. He suddenly looked at Thor who avoided his gaze. He stood straight then. “Spill it,” he demanded.

“What?” Thor said innocently, though his eyes were too big and showed he wasn’t wholly innocent.

“Something is up and you are a part of it,”

“I am not,” he said quickly and looked away.

“You have never been good at lying,” Loki pointed out with the highly practiced maternal tone one learns after years of having to deal with children and their mischievous nature. “What are you hiding?”

“Uh…” he said wide eyed. He stumbled up, bumping his knees on the table and rattling the dishes.

“Oh!” Darcy said suddenly and rose as well. “I almost forgot. Thor was supposed to help me with something.”

Loki turned his determined mothering gaze on her. He opened his mouth to press her for how _she_ was involved, but Darcy knew that look and knew how to get out of it’s spell. She grabbed Thor’s arm and hurried off without further explanation.

He sighed heavily and hurried to clean up the mess they’d left. He muttered to himself as he did so: about them acting like children; about how much he hated secrets; about how Thor hadn’t grown one bit; and his frustrations at not having a clue as to what they all could be keeping from him.

For a brief moment he had fear grip his heart. Thor, Darcy, Clint…and Natasha must know for sure…how many others were in on this secret? He felt as he had when he’d first woken from the Twilight Sleep: Suspected and ostracised…unwanted.

He didn’t want to think negatively about it, but his mind was drawn to all sorts of possibilities; none of them nice. He inhaled sharply and held a hand to his stomach and squeezed his eyes shut. He held his breath as he waited for the rise of hatred, guilt, and the never ending voices to fill his head.

He waited…and waited…but nothing. He opened his eyes and looked around. He was still standing in the kitchen, one hand over his stomach, the other holding a carefully stacked pile of dishes. He set it down in case he dropped them and checked himself from head to toe. He pinched himself a few times and then shook himself and pressed a hand to his forehead and one to his cheek to check his temperature.

He wasn’t dreaming…he was perfectly fine…and…

Loki inhaled again and frowned. He had expected the darkness to rise up and lash out, break him down and be whipped up into a feeding frenzy from this sudden rush of insecurity. Instead…there was nothing…only silence. No shifting shadows inside of him, no voices, no threats, nothing. The weight of it was still inside him, he could feel it resting around his soul…but it was sedentary and silent. It’s lack of moment was rather disconcerting.

Natasha walked in. “Where did everyone go?” she asked looking around.

Loki jumped at her words, not sensing or hearing her approach. “Um,” he said catching his breath and turning to start fumbling with the dishes in the sink. “Darcy and Thor said they had something,” he explained in a rush.

She frowned. “Are you okay?” she asked worried.

Loki nodded and then shook his head. The fact that he was distressed at the darkness not making an appearance in him worried him. Had he grown that dependant on it? A horrifying thought struck him. What if it was no longer inside of him? What if it had moved on to another host? Would he still be able to feel it over his soul if it had? Like some sort of permanent scaring?

“Loki?” she asked going to him. She set her hands carefully upon his shoulders. He realised he was panting heavily.

He stopped working and dropped his head as he tried to control his breathing. “I can’t hear it,” he whispered.

“What?” she asked softly and looked around to make sure they were alone.

“I can’t hear _it_ any more. I can’t…sense the darkness,” he explained and put the back of his hand to his nose and mouth to try and stop himself from crying.

“Isn’t that a good thing?” she asked worried.

He shook his head. “If it’s not in me, it’s in someone else. It needs a host, it can’t survive on it’s own. I don’t know if it’s gone out of me or not.”

“Shhh I’m sure it’s fine,” she promised trying to sooth him.

“What if it found a way to sneak down the bond and is now inside Clinton?” he breathed fearfully.

“C-can such a thing be done?” Natasha asked taken aback.

“I…I don’t know,” he shook his head and pinched at the bridge of his nose.

“Well…we can have Jarvis scan you. He’ll be able to sense any changes, right?”

“I don’t know,” he whispered.

“Worth a shot,” she muttered and then raised her voice, “Jarvis?”

“Yes, ma’am?”

“Please do a thorough scan of Loki,”

“Is there anything in particular I should be looking for?”

“Just if anything is missing, unusual energies, any sort of changes, no matter how significantly large or small,”

“Hold still please while I complete the scan,” he instructed.

Loki stiffened, bracing himself for the worst, yet only a thin beam of light projected from the ceiling and swept across him.

“My scan indicates a high level of hormones caused by stress. They have induced his heart rate and circulation to rise to abnormal heights, and may have enhanced his reflexes and speed. Mr. Frigguson may be experiencing a feeling of anger, fear, sadness, happiness, dread, excitement, or combinations of such and more.”

“Nothing else has changed?” Natasha pressed.

“No, ma’am, he is not missing nor has he gained anything since his last physical well-being scan. I should note that the levels at which the unfamiliar substance within him have changed slightly, but nothing to merit –”

“Changed how?” Loki asked quickly.

“Whereas before the energy signatures from the object seemed to be pulling energy from your person, it appears to be in a resting state: neither giving nor taking anything. Much in the same manner as the human body would deal with when it has deactivated.”

“What is that?” he looked at Natasha confused.

“It’s another name for Chicken pox. It’s a virus that was very common in children and the elderly. There’s a vaccination that has helped stop the spread of it, but it’s still pops up every so often. It’s fairly mild and is easy to manage, but sometimes before the disease can be completely removed from the body, it deactivates and hides out. Sometimes it stays dormant for a person’s entire lifetime and sometimes it will remerge as shingles, but only later on in their life. There isn’t much still about how that happens, but we’re working on it.” She smiled then, “See, it hasn’t infected anyone, and it hasn’t left you. I suspect that you haven’t been feeling the darkness as much since we removed the sceptre. Maybe that’s what was helping it have such a powerful influence over you?”

Loki nodded then and took a few deep breaths. “The gem inside of it is very powerful. I know the darkness was fairly strong when it attached itself to me, but I do not doubt that it drew upon the gem’s strength in order to survive and thrive within me. Such a dependence upon it must have altered it somehow. Now it is no longer independent itself enough to leech off of me directly, the lack of the gem being around must have put it into a state of shock. This must be its only way of survival…” He rubbed at his face. “I apologise, I did not mean to…it’s just…it’s been so long without the sound of it in my head…I thought for sure a second ago…” he shook his head and gave her a brief smile. “No matter.”

“It’s fine,” she promised. “I’m glad you’re okay. Do you want me to make you some tea?”

“I’ll make some,” he said and turned to reach for the kettle. His equilibrium was thrown and he leaned against the counter and closed his eyes. “On reconsideration…” he began regretfully and was highly embarrassed.

“I’ve got it,” she promised and helped him to sit at the table before making them tea.

Loki sighed heavily and rubbed at his forehead, keeping his eyes closed and his body as relaxed as possible as he waited. She brought him a simple soothing green tea and a few headache pills.

“Thank you,” he said and took them. He sighed in content.

“No problem,” she replied and sat next to him. “Any better?”

“Yes,” he nodded and inhaled the steam from his tea.

“So what are the plans for today?” she asked.

“Well…it seems Thor and Darcy ran off before I could figure out what they’re hiding,” he said leaning back in his seat. He knew better than to outright ask Natasha her involvement. She was always hard to gauge when it came to secrets, truths, and lies, so even a careful study of her would provide him with nothing. “And I have a sneaky suspicion Clinton is in on it, so whenever he comes down from his shower…if nothing else comes up, we’ll go for a walk and I’ll ask him about it.”

“Hiding something?” she laughed. “Clint?”

“Not for long,”

“Of course not; that man can’t even keep Christmas presents a secret. How could he manage to keep something from you?” She took a drink of her tea. “Besides, I’d imagine your bond would make such a thing nearly impossible.”

“It is still an incomplete one,” he reminded. “But yes,” he considered it. “I suppose there will be a point when we shall have no secrets from one another.”

“Is that okay with you?” she asked carefully.

Loki was silent for a moment. He nodded. “Yes. By then I hope to have told him them all myself.”

She nodded. “How will you know when it’s a complete one?”

Loki frowned as he thought about it. “I…I guess it’ll just…feel that way?” He shrugged. “Sort of how one feels when they know they are in their correct gender or how they are attracted to someone. You just…feel it. You know?”

“Not everyone feels that way,” she pointed out.

“Yes, there seems to be a vast array of confusion among this realm as to orientation and identity. I suppose that has to do with humans and their way of having to categorise things completely. You’ve always been creatures of order, in some sort or another; whether it was good for you or not. Having a name to put to your feelings and a group of people to share in that similar experience is reassuring, but like everything in the natural Universe: nothing is simple and nothing is designed completely the same. For example, Clinton calls himself a pansexual: someone who is capable of being sexual attracted to all identities of persons: straight, gay, grey, asexual, transgendered, and so on. I would too consider myself such; however, we’re not always going to find the same people attractive. There is that difference which makes our…pansexualness unique. In fact, if I were to explain my relationship history with someone, they would more than likely say I am wholly a homosexual, due to my being in more relationships with males in this form than females; regardless if some where transgendered or not.”

“Have you been in a relationship with a transgendered person?” she asked curiously and a little surprised.

“Yes,” he nodded. “He was born: Myra, and when we met he was just starting to go by Sigurd.”

“Was it odd?”

Loki shrugged. “Not in my opinion, but I’ve always considered myself fairly open when it came to my own intimate relationships. I’ve tried almost everything once, and some things a few more times than most,” he smirked.

She did as well. “Well that makes two of us.”

“Three if we count Clint,”

“Yes,” she nodded in agreement. “We can’t leave him out, he’ll have a fit.” They both laughed and drank more of their tea. “When did he go up?”

“Just after you took food down to Steven,”

“God he’s been gone a while,” Natasha said and checked her watch.

“I trust he’s fine and was just caught up playing with the kittens,” Loki said knowingly.

“That’s a fair assumption,” she shrugged. “Jarvis?”

“Yes ma’am?”

“Would you mind telling us if Clint is still in the shower?”

“No ma’am, Mr. Barton is currently playing with the kittens in his rooms.”

“Just as I thought,” Loki sighed and carefully stood.

“Would you please remind him that Loki is waiting down here for him?”

“Yes, ma’am,”

“I can walk up and get him,” Loki said.

“I know, but now you have leverage to press him on what he’s hiding,” Natasha smiled as she stood and took their empty mugs to the counter. “More?” she asked.

“No, thank you though,” he replied. “I suppose it’s useless to ask you if you know anything?” he tried.

“I may,” she shrugged in a manner he couldn’t tell was teasing because she did or because she didn’t.

“You’re much harder to read,” he muttered looking away. Even her aura wouldn’t give her up! She was just too good sometimes.

She chuckled and drank her fresh cup of tea. A few minutes later Clint entered the kitchen. “Sorry. I wasn’t going to give in and then I saw Jareth trying to play with the feather wand by himself and I felt bad.”

Loki caught Natasha’s eye. She gave him a gesture that reminded him to be firm, but loving as he held having been kept waiting over Clint’s head. “You could have sent a message through Jarvis that you’d be a few minutes, or even tell me to come back up,” he said crossing his arms over his chest, more fierce in his stance than in his words, which were riddled with holes when it came to his confidence in being upset at him. In truth he was completely jealous over not having the chance to watch him play with their kittens. The idea of him on the floor with the two, chasing balls, wiggling feather wands, and snuggling melted his heart. He wanted to kiss him senseless, but remained still and cold as he stared him down.

Clint hadn’t been prepared for his reaction. He was surprised and thrown, not knowing what to say. A thought suddenly struck Loki, and he hated himself for thinking it. The flashing image of Clint on the floor playing with a baby; his warm smile, the light in his eyes, how he carefully and lovingly tickled and kissed the soft skin, the little giggles the child made. His heart suddenly ached horribly. His lost his playful manner and his fake anger, both melting into intense sadness when Clinton’s features morphed slightly to a familiar and painful reminder of a life he could never have. He turned his face away and brushed a few tears aside as the image of a familiar, yet forever changed, face and a phantom touch of a warm embrace faded from his body.

“Lo…baby,” Clint said and held out his arms for him.

The nickname and reminder of his quick thought hurt him more. He closed his eyes for a second. “I’m sorry…I’m…I’m not feeling very well suddenly…it’s…it’s not you I promise,” he whispered and took a step toward him, accepting his comfort.

Clint held him and kissed the side of his face. “Do you want to lie down?” he asked concerned.

Loki shook his head. “I…I just need air,” he promised, “Our walk should help things.”

“Okay,” he said and when Loki pulled back a little, he held his face tenderly; brushing a stray tear from his cheeks. “I’m sorry for making you wait. It was unfair; I won’t let it happen again.”

“I’m not really that upset about it,” he confessed honestly. “I was just trying to get you to tell me what you’re planning.”

Clint blinked and the twitch of his mouth and slight widening of his eyes gave him away. “Planning?” he asked quickly. “I’m not –”

“Oh stop it,” he sighed and kissed him sweetly. “Let us hurry, before the weather turns.”

Clint nodded and took his hand as he led him toward the coat closet.

“Have a good walk,” Natasha said from the kitchen doorway.

“Thanks, we will,” Clint said helping Loki into his coat.

“Have everything you need?” she asked.

“Yep,” he nodded and patted his breast pocket after putting his own coat on. He got them their mittens and scarves before opening the door and out they went.

They left the grounds in silence and headed toward Central Park. Loki stared at the ground almost the entire time, not really paying attention to where they were specifically headed for he knew Clint would safely guide him along. He didn’t really care if they had an exact destination; he just wanted the stinging gentle wintery air and the space to let his mind muddle things over. He wanted Clint’s strong body next to him and the hum of the Midgardian city life buzzing around them like bees in spring. The sad image he’d had in the kitchen prevented him from summoning the gumption to pressure him about what he was holding back though, and he couldn’t decide if Clint’s warm and reassuring hand in his was helping to further cause him heartache or not, but the thought of being without it’s comfort and silent support made his stomach twist in anxious knots.

It took a while, but he eventually came around out of the drop in his mood. Clint sang to him; made him dance in the little crowd that had appeared around a man playing cheery music on a violin; and bought him a warm pretzel with cheese. Loki had a sneaky suspicion it was to not only help brighten his mind-set but to also further distract him from interrogating him about what he was hiding. It was hard to press someone to confess their secret when they kept offering you delicious bread, cheese, laughter, and kisses.

The archer would stop to kiss him randomly, and wouldn’t quit until either Loki was dizzy and red in the face with elation or heated up and burning with desire. One such occasion someone yelled at them to get a room. When they had separated and hurried away, stopping down the lane to share a few more chaste kisses, someone had violently scream their disgust at them. The brutal verbal attack had hurt Loki for a short time, but he was in love with the most wonderful brilliant gorgeous man and he couldn’t find it in himself to be ashamed of that. He never wanted too either.

He laughed at a silly song Clint was currently making up; their clasped hands swinging a little as they nearly danced along the path from joy the other’s company brought.

“ _And the snow’s falling down, but won’t stick to the ground, and the love of my life is laughing…_ ” Clint slowed is pace and finally got Loki to stop and stand before him.

“Clint,” he sighed trying to catch his breath. All of the laughing he was doing was starting to make his sides ache.

“ _And if you aren’t too mad at me?_ ” he continued with his notorious puppy eyes.

“No,” Loki laughed and shook his head. “Not mad.”

“ _Then will you permit me to be totallyyyyyyyy_ ,” he held the note for a few beats and then sobered up and stared at him with a serious face, “weird and ask something of you?”

Loki chuckled and nodded. “What is it?”

Clint reached into his breast pocket and pulled out a small silk scarf. “Don’t get mad,” he said.

Loki’s face dropped into a frown. “What?” he said in a tone that sounded intolerable of nonsense.

“I promise it’s worth it.”

“We’re not having sex out here,”

“One: Damn right we’re not. It’s too cold and my balls are in my throat. Two: Do you trust me?”

“Of course I do,” he said without missing a beat.

“Really, really?”

“Really, really,” he promised.

“Okay, then let me put this over your eyes and lead you,”

“What?”

“It’s the surprise,” he admitted. “I was hiding something, and now if you’ll let me, I’ll show you.”

“But you have to blindfold me?” he asked to clarify.

“ _Trust in meeeee,_ ” he sang sweetly. “ _Just in meeeeee…close your eyessss_ ,” he gently closed Loki’s eyes and quickly pecked each lid gently with his lips, “ _And trust in meeeee…_ ”

“Clint,” Loki sighed and went to open them.

Clint put a finger on the god’s nose, “‘Hold still please.’”

Loki did and felt Clint move behind him. He gently tied the scarf around his eyes and made sure he couldn’t see. Even if he tried to sneak a peek at the ground, it was secure and Loki was at Clint’s mercy for help in not running into anything or falling.

Clint picked up the god’s hand and pressed gentle kisses to it as he slowly lead him forward a few steps. “I just realised you still haven’t seen _The Jungle Book_ and that great reference went unnoticed and unappreciated,” he confessed sadly.

“I guess you’ll have to show it to me then,” he smiled and reached his other hand out.

“Hey, also no using magic to feel out the area,” Clint added.

“I can hardly stop that from happening, it is part of my nature,” Loki explained, “But I’ll ignore it as best as I can.”

Clint moved so that he was walking next to and slightly behind Loki, holding him by the hand and around the waist with his other. Loki’s other hand was free to feel out in front of him and he walked slightly stooped, searching for something he knew he was bound to run into. Clint assured he had made sure that his blindfolded path would be short and obstacle-less.

“Clinton,” he laughed as he slowly shuffled in the direction the archer was leading him.

“Okay now stop,” he said and they both did. Loki went to take the blindfold off. “Not yet,” he said grabbing his hands gently.

“Not yet?” he teased, “Clint, we’ve been walking for miles!”

“We’ve only gone like thirty steps!” he cried and they both laughed. “Okay, now easy on this next bit. I need you to heed my every instruction.”

“Great,” he muttered and braced himself. “Better call Banner. Make sure he’s ready with the bandages.”

“Have faith in me,” he pleaded and then stopped Loki from moving forward. “Do you trust me?”

“Yes, I already said I did,”

“Did or do?”

Loki exhaled and put his hands on his hips. “You know I trust you,” he said seriously. Clint had to stop himself from laughing at how silly he looked with the blindfold on in that stance. “Now hurry up and take me where you need me. I’m bursting to know the surprise!”

“Fine,” Clint sighed and took his hand and his waist again. “Okay, like you’re about to head up stairs; take a step and pull yourself up.”

“This high?” Loki asked lifting his foot.

“A teeny bit higher,”

Loki lifted his foot more. “Better?”

“Move your foot forward a tad more,”

“Here?”

“Perfect.” Loki put it down. “Now step together.”

Loki did. He wobbled and swayed both of them laughing all the while and teasing one another as Clint coached him onward. When they’d reached a certain point Loki turned his head from side to side.

“What?” Clint asked.

“This place is familiar,” he said.

“You said you wouldn’t cheat!”

“I’m not trying to. It’s just there was suddenly an overwhelming presence I couldn’t ignore it fast enough. Where are we?”

“I thought you said it was familiar?”

Loki sighed impatient. “Just because something feels it, doesn’t mean I know right away where I am. I did say I was trying to ignore the flow of this realm in favour of keeping the surprise a surprise, did I not?”

“Okay take a step forward,”

“As we’ve been doing?”

“Nah just a normal one will do,”

Loki did, but his toe caught on something. Clint steadied him quickly though.

“What was that?” the archer asked.

“You said a normal step!” he insisted.

“Your normal steps are generally higher. I didn’t think you’d drag your feet again,”

“I wasn’t dragging my feet! That is my normal step!” he said reaching up to free his eyes.

“Don’t take the blindfold off!”

“I’m not moving forward like this anymore,”

“Just one more step,”

“A _normal_ one or a _stair_ step?”

“Well if you’d walk normally it would be a normal stair step,” Clint said and then dissolved into laughter, unable to stay frustrated with him for very long.

“It isn’t funny,” Loki half pouted.

“If we weren’t in such a dangerous predicament I’d kiss you,”

“Dangerous?”

“No peeking, with your eyes or your feelers,”

“I don’t have _feelers_ ,”

“Magic feelers,”

“I’m going to sit down and I shan’t move forward if you continue to tease me,” Loki warned, but the corners of his mouth twitching told Clint he wasn’t as cross as he sounded.

“Well I mean in a few more steps you can sit down, but it’ll be hard for you to enjoy the surprise like that,”

“How much further?”

“A few steps,”

“You said that a few steps ago,”

“Yeah, well a few more,”

Loki tried not to laugh as he put his trust in Clint and continued with the few more steps to their few more steps. Finally Clint told him to stop and then the archer let him go.

“Clint?” he asked feeling carefully around him.

“I’m here, just stay there. Don’t take the blindfold off yet,”

“Clint if you leave me here I’ll kill you,” he warned.

“I’m not leaving you!”

“You better not.” Loki turned his head this way and that, trying desperately to hear for him. He had promised not to use his other sense, and he decided that if he didn’t hear from Clint in the next few minutes he’d break it. Thankfully he heard Clint muttering to someone a little ways off and then he was silent again. “Clint?”

“I’m coming,” he promised and Loki heard his footsteps approach. “Ready?”

“Just hurry up,” he said irritably. He was so ready to be rid of the scarf. He hated surprises.

Clint untied it and it took Loki a few seconds for his eyes to adjust. He looked around and realised they were on top of the giant rock they’d visited on their first walk through the park. He looked around and found the area had been roped off.

“They’re getting ready to close it so people won’t slip during the icier parts of the year, but we got special permission,” Clint explained as he removed his gloves and then took Loki’s hands. “I’m doing this Midgardian traditional and Asgardian traditional. If I knew how to do it Jötunn, I’d do it that way too,” he began. He cleared his throat and took a deep breath before getting down on one knee.

It took Loki a second before he realised what was about to happen. He inhaled quickly and held his breath.

“Loki, son of Frigga, would you like to marry me, Clint Barton?”

“Yes,” he exhaled and his smile split his face nearly in two. He realised he was trembling a bit and tears from overwhelming excitement started to blur his vision.

Clint shared in his large smile as well and kissed his gloved hands before rising. “I love you,” he whispered and cradled Loki’s face before kissing him deeply.

“I love you,” he returned and kissed him again.

“Here,” Natasha said coming up the side of the rock, careful of the patches of ice on the steps cut into its surface.

“Ah, thanks,” Clint said and took a box from her outstretched hand. “So Thor kind of ran me through this,” he began apologetically. “I’m going to try and remember everything.”

“Do you have the tokens?” Loki asked removing his gloves to stash in his pockets.

“Yep,” he smiled and raised the box he’d been handed.

“Do you have your intended and yourself present?”

“Yep,”

“At least a family member from each?”

“Yep,”

“Then you’re fine, even if we forget a few of the proper words,” Loki promised and looked around, overwhelmed at the turn the day had taken. He found his brother hurrying over to them, Darcy following along behind.

“Apologies!” he shouted drawing attention of some people nearby. “This tiny child wished to duel for Lady Darcy’s hand! I could not let her honour go unprotected.”

“How’d that go?” Natasha asked.

“I’m the proud wife to a six year old who wants to live in a tree-house and be a space man,” she smiled and followed Thor up the side of the rock.

“Congrats,” Clint said.

“Not too keen on the last name though,” she admitted. “Dice. Then my initials will be ‘DD’ and I hate that nickname.”

“What’s his name?” Clint asked.

“Devin,” she sighed and held out her hand to show the round plastic ring. It was much too small for her to wear on her ring finger, so it sat proudly on her pinky. It was the kind of ring one would get from a store bought cupcake dozen for a birthday. The face of the ring was of Iron Man, and was painted metallic in certain places to give it an extra special shine for appeal to children and fans.

“Good kid,”

“He was,” she smiled and then pulled her hand back. “Okay, what’d we miss?”

“Traditional asking. Now for the official,” Natasha said excitedly. Darcy clapped her hands a few times and then held them clasped at her chest.

“So…how does this start again?” Clint asked looking to Thor for help as he scratched the back of his head apologetically. It was apparent his excitement and nerves were getting the better of him, and Loki wanted to reassure him that it didn’t have to be perfectly done. He stopped himself though, for he knew Clint wanted it done perfectly regardless. It mattered to Clint and what mattered to him mattered to Loki as well.

“State your purpose,” Thor reminded in a not so quiet whisper.

“Right,” he turned to Loki, straightening himself up right with a smile and held out his hand to him. “I, Clinton son of Harold Barton…um…person of Midgard, present myself as a potential…person of marriage stuff,” he mumbled the last bit shyly when he caught Loki’s eye; his facing turning a darker red than the pink it’d already become from the cold.

“Marriage stuff?” muttered Natasha, rolling her eyes.

Clint sighed pushing his nerves down and tried again. “I present myself in hopes of marrying you.”

Loki smiled and accepted his hand to hold. “I, Loki son of Frigga…of Asgard,” he added a little hesitantly and then continued confidently, “accept your proposal, and offer myself also in the hopes of marrying you.”

Clint grinned and went to kiss him. “Oh wait,” he said pulling back. He turned to Thor. “Do you accept my proposal?”

“I accept and welcome it,” Thor nodded his head.

“Do you accept his proposal and my own offering?” Loki asked Natasha.

“I do accept both,” she nodded with a smile.

Clint and Loki took turns kissing one another’s knuckles.

Natasha hurried to hug Loki. “You were already welcomed to the family, but now it’s officially official,” she said holding him tightly.

“Thank you,” he said returning the warm embrace. They pulled back to kiss each other’s cheeks.

“Brother,” Thor said pulling Clint into a bone-crushing hug.

“Uh, thanks…brother,” he said patting him a bit and tried to keep breathing. Thor let him go and then planted a simple firm kiss on his mouth. “Um,” he said a bit taken aback by the gesture.

“Thor, Midgardians do not kiss family in such a manner anymore,” Loki sighed.

“Oh,” he frowned. “Sorry, didn’t mean to shock you,” he said patting Clint’s shoulder.

“It’s…okay…” he said turning and found the sight of Loki made everything else irrelevant. He hurried to open the box. “You take them out,” he said holding it for the god.

Loki carefully set aside the protective inner packaging and withdrew the necklaces. They were entwined together and so much lovelier in person. His breath caught and he found himself trying not to openly sob from the overpowering sense of peace and rapture he felt at the sight of the tokens.

Clint passed the box to Natasha and helped the god untangle the serpent’s bodies. “Silver,” he said taking the one. “And gold,” he said giving it to Loki.

“I can’t believe this is happening,” he whispered and felt a few tears fall down his cheeks. He quickly wiped them away and pulled himself together.

“About time, right?” he laughed. “Should I or…?”

“Doesn’t matter,”

“Well I bent my knee, so why don’t you take the lead for this one, hm?”

Loki nodded and held out the necklace. “Do you accept this token of affection as a symbol of my fidelity and as my promise to wed you?”

“I do,” he smiled and bowed his head so that Loki could put it around his neck.

“I give myself and my love to you freely,” he whispered.

Clint presented the silver necklace next. “Do you accept this token of affection as a symbol of my fidelity and as my promise to wed you?”

“I do,” Loki nodded eagerly and bowed his head.

“I give myself and my love to you, and only you, freely,” he said and set the necklace around Loki’s neck. They kissed one another and the others clapped for them.

“It’s official now right?” Darcy asked.

“Yes,” Loki laughed gratefully and kissed Clint again, wrapping his arms around his neck and pressing himself against him. It wasn’t in a sexual manner, but in a way that showed how much he loved and wanted him in his life. How much he welcomed his existence into his world. Clint set his hands upon Loki’s waist and hummed a little as they kissed. Loki sighed contently and they pulled back to look at one another with warm dazzling smiles.

“I love you so much,” Loki whispered and brushed some more of his tears from his cheeks.

“And I you,” he said and pulled him into another kiss.

“Okay, save it for the wedding,” Darcy said holding up a hand and started walking away. She slipped a little, but Thor caught her. “That is…if we make it down alive!”

“We’ll make it,” Clint said, never taking his eyes off of Loki as he pulled his hands up to kiss. The god knew the words were meant only for him and they warmed and comforted him.

_Together,_ he added.

_Always,_ Clint promised. They indulged in a quick kiss and then followed the others down. A small group had gathered and Thor was quick to distract them as Loki and Clint hurried off. Natasha and Darcy skirted around toward the back to help; pretending to be part of the hubbub of gushing fan girls and Loki and Clint where able to hurry along without so much as a glance from anyone.

Back safely behind the gates they paused to kiss one another. Laughing, they tried to keep moving and slipped on the light slushy ground.

“Shit!” Clint swore as they landed on the wet cold ground.

“Are you alright?” Loki asked hurriedly as he looked him over.

“I’m fine, just winded,” he sighed and smiled, reaching a hand out to gently brush some of Loki’s hair back from his face. “You?”

“Fine…” he sat up. “Perfect,” he leaned down and kissed him. “I’m sorry for my grumblings and sharp words.”

“If they bothered me, I would have just left you,” he promised.

“You wouldn’t dare!” he said gently hitting his chest.

“No, I wouldn’t have. In fact,” he said softly. “I was having a hard time not tackling you down and ravishing you in the middle of the park.”

“Hmmm,” Loki smirked and fiddled with Clint’s jacket buttons a bit. “Before or after we snogged under the bridge?”

“The whole time,” he grinned. “From the moment we woke up and I saw your sleepy face to even now; but most especially when I had you around the waist with the blindfold on.”

Loki chuckled deep within his chest. “Good thing I kept this then, hm?” he asked and with a flick of his wrist it appeared out of the air; unfolding gracefully down in such a manner that it made both of them shiver at its suggestive elegance.

“Oh yeah…” he said and played with the end of it. He twisted it around his fingers and gently pulled it, as well as Loki’s hand down. He pressed it to his lips and then moved Loki’s coat and shirt sleeve back so he could press a kiss upon his bare wrist.

Loki closed his eyes and jerked a little as a thrill ran down his spine. “Money for your thoughts?”

“I’ll take kisses instead,” he whispered.

“Kisses then,” he smiled and leaned down to kiss him.

“I was thinking about finding someone to watch the kittens,” he began.

“And?”

Clint gestured to his lips. Loki gave him another kiss.

“And…find some way to…”

Loki looked at him and then realised that was all he was going to get. He rolled his eyes, but smiled, as he kissed him again. “To?” he prompted.

“To put this to use again…” he further teased on, only giving a little more, and used a corner of the scarf to brush the god’s cheek gently.

“I don’t know if I want to make myself suffer and wait, or kiss you for more,” he confessed.

“But you’ll kiss me regardless?”

“Yes,” he said and kissed him sweetly several times.

“Shall I –”

“No, shush,” he said and kissed him so he’d be silent. “Surprise me. I love it.”

He frowned at him, “You hate surprises.”

“I don’t mine _some_ ,” he said looking away with a small blush.

“Are you both alright?” Steve called from the front door.

“We’re fine,” Loki promised with a wave. He gave a pointed look to Clinton. “I know I should have asked…but I figured you’d keep it from me anyways…”

“Yes…” he sighed giving in. “I did hurt myself…and I need a few more seconds before I can get up.”

Loki sighed and shook his head. “What can I do to help?”

“Just freeze time…for a bit,” he shifted a little and sighed. “I’m getting too old…” he whispered.

“Not at all,” Loki soothed and played with some of his hair. “But you’ll need new clothes and something warm to drink.”

“It must look like I’ve peed myself,” he laughed. Loki joined in as well. “Are you happy?” he asked lacing their chilly fingers together.

“Of course I am,” he smiled at him. “You have made me…the happiest I’ve ever been in my whole life,” he said and gently touched Clint’s necklace. “And even though you give me grief at times, I can safely presume I’ll continue to be very happy with you…”

Clint beamed at him. “That’s stuff I like to hear.”

“Well, I’m trying a new thing. It’s something my… _fiancé_ ,” he whispered shyly and Clint’s smile widened, “tells me: ‘take it one day at a time’. So…that’s what I think I’ll do…with him.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes,” he said and kissed him once more. “Are you ready now, love?”

“Yes,” he nodded and let Loki help him up. “Oh…oh…” he groaned.

“There, there,” he said rubbing his back all the way down to his bottom. “Your poor bruised ass.”

“Careful,” he warned with a suggestive wink.

“Right,” he smirked as they started back to the house. “I forgot how much you love having a bruised ass sometimes,” he whispered.

Clint hummed and they shared a promising look. Loki helped Clint upstairs and to their room.

“I’ll make you something warm while you change,” he said and started for the door. Clint caught him around the middle. “Clinton!” he laughed as his back was pulled against the archer’s front.

“Stay with me,” he whispered in his ear.

“Do you want a holiday dinner tomorrow?” he chuckled patting his hands.

“I’d much rather have something else,” he growled and kissed at his neck.

“Clint,” he sighed and leaned back into him to indulge in the sensation for a bit. He moaned and surrendered himself a little more as Clint’s affections made him consider abandoning his tasks for the day.

“Mr. Frigguson?” Jarvis interrupted them.

Clint groaned unhappily and rested his forehead on Loki’s shoulder.

“Yes, Mr. Jarvis?” Loki replied and put a hand to Clint’s head in comfort.

“Mistress Romanoff was wondering if you required her to obtain anything for you in preparations for cooking tomorrow’s meal.”

“Tell her I’m coming down, thank you.”

“Not at all, sir,”

Clint sighed and let Loki go enough so that he could turn in his arms.

“Oh my love,” he sighed as well and cradled his face in his hands. He gave his cheek a kiss. “Will you be coming down to help with preparations for tomorrow morning?”

“In a bit, I’ve got to…do preparations for tonight,” he grinned wickedly. “Remember?”

Loki hummed and kissed him. He brought forth the scarf and drew it along Barton’s face a little before making it vanish once more. “How could I forget such a thing? It shall torment me as I count, sort, peel, cut, and mix.”

“Yeah…all that…stuff with your hands,” he said and took up Loki’s to hold. “Don’t wear them out…I have plans for them.”

“I shall try my best,” he promised. They indulged in one more kiss before they separated. “I’ll still make you something warm to drink.”

“The sight of you works well enough,” he flirted.

Loki shot him a smirk over his shoulder as he left the room. He hurried down the stairs and dropped his coat off in the closet before heading to the kitchen. “Apologies, Clint slipped and landed in a puddle.”

“I knew we should have gotten salt,” Natasha sighed and made a note of it on the list on the fridge.

“He’s fine, I checked. Nothing broken, just a little sore and the most damage done is to his ego,” he assured and set the kettle on.

“Well, Selvig isn’t young and neither is Steve,” she added and they shared a smile at the small joke.

“So we have everything, so far?” Loki asked as he rolled up his sleeves and set himself into a get-down-to-business mode.

“It would seem,” she said. “We’ll make the pies; Fury said he’ll come down later to do rolls, and Steve will season the turkeys when he’s done training. Everything else can happen tomorrow. That way it’ll stay fresh and together.”

Loki nodded. “My mother has an apple pie recipe that belongs to her family. I’m sure she wouldn’t mind if I made it for you all. How many are we making?”

“Several,” Natasha warned and pointed to one of the bushels he and Clint had picked. “Thor’s about to do scheduled training; I guess whenever Clint decides to come down he can help you.”

“I can help,” Darcy offered. “I’m not great at cooking, but I’ll do what I can.”

“Thank you,” Loki nodded appreciative and washed his hands. “Would you mind handing me them to rinse?” he asked indicating the apples.

“Sure,” Darcy said. “What do I need?”

“A colander or two and the apples,” he said.

“Colanders are in the cabinet here,” Natasha said gently touching one. Darcy rooted through it and found one. She filled it with the apples and passed it to Loki before finding another. They traded them back and forth while Natasha started on cooking the pumpkins she’d halved.

Half an hour went by and Clint wandered in. “I thought I smelled something,” he smiled looking to the oven.

“I knew you wouldn’t be down until then,” she smiled and handed him a knife.

“Here love,” Loki said handing him a cup and then set another bowl freshly cleaned apples on the table. Darcy was backed up in her work, only managing to have peeled one, and not very neatly.

“Thank you,” he kissed him and took a drink of the delicious hot cocoa. “Hey,” Clint nudged Darcy to get her attention. “Want some advice?”

She gouged out a hunk of perfectly good apple flesh while trying to manoeuver around the round of the fruit. She made a face and sighed, setting them down, giving up for the moment. “Sure,” she grumbled.

“Peel, then worry about cutting and coring,” he said and set his mug down. “Take this,” he sat, pulling an empty bowl into his lap and tucked it between his opened legs and the side of the table. “This is better than using a trash can, that way if you flick the apple out of your hand or lose your grip, you’ll have dropped it in peelings, not gross trash. Here I’ll show you using the peeler.” He picked it up with an apple and began peeling it from the top down in a wide spiral. When he was finished with that line, he went back to the top and made another, taking bit by bit in perfect, close, neat, curls until it was almost bare.

“Whoa!” she said perking up.

“Always peel apples in a corkscrew. You can peel potatoes like this, but sometimes it takes too long.”

“That’s so pretty,” she said picking up one of the apple peel curls.

“My mom used to save them and use them as garnishes or cook them up with sugar and cinnamon for a morning treat,” he smiled. He handed her the peeler and put the finished apple into one of the empty bowls on the table.

Darcy got a bowl to set between her legs and took one of the smaller apples to try her hand. She took her time and was very careful. She got parts of spirals, but nothing as long or as neat as Clint’s.

“Practice,” he explained, and then showed off by peeling one from top to bottom without stopping. The curl was long and perfect, almost like a gift ribbon.

“I’m so jealous,” she sighed.

“You can do this,” he encouraged.

“Not like how you’re doing it,”

“Well no, I’ve had years to practice. Also, I’m strange and I think this is fun,”

“It sort of is,” she agreed.

“Come the end of this bowl, you might not think so.”

“I’m not a quitter,” she said with grumpy determination.

“I never said you were. I’m just saying peeling is boring.”

“But I thought you loved it?”

“I do,” he beamed and started another apple. “I like boring things too.”

Loki sat and helped peel until they’d gotten a good pile. He began cutting them then. He found an apple slicer and was amazed at how quick his work went. “Damn this is genius,” he muttered as he neatly sliced and cored another apple. He separated the parts, sorting them where they needed, and got another. “I’m going to have to bring one to mother. It’ll revolutionise the realm.”

The others chuckled at him. Darcy was making progress on her apple peel spirals. They weren’t perfect just yet, but she could get a longer curl than before.

“When you graduate to the knife it’ll be a little easier to control,” Clint said.

“I’m going to master the peeler,” she decided. “I’m a klutz and will probably cut my thumb off. I’m surprised I haven’t cut myself yet.”

“Don’t tempt the Universe,” Loki warned kindly.

“Uh, I mean…” Darcy hurried to the island and knocked on the wood of it three times. “Sorry Universe.”

“So it looks like she’s got a great go on these, should I finish that so you can start on with the slices?” he asked gesturing to what Loki was doing.

“If you wouldn’t mind,” he said and left his spot in favour of gently emptying a bowl of fruit waiting to be cut so they wouldn’t roll off the table. He took up the knife Clint wasn’t using and checked each slice for bad or undesirable parts to cut out, and then cut them into thinner slices. Once he’d filled up a bowl he covered the slices in lemon juice, cinnamon, sugar, nutmeg, brown sugar, a little bit of flour, and a pinch of ground cloves. He tossed until they were coated and put them to rest and marinate in the fridge.

By the time they were done they’d made several large bowls of the pie filling, and Natasha had several cooked pumpkin halves for them to scoop out into a bowl for her to puree.

“We using my mom’s recipe?” Clint asked.

“Always,” she said and dipped her finger into the mix. She sampled the first pulverised batch and nodded before washing her hands and set the mix aside. “Darcy, can you get these pumpkin insides into bowls for me?”

“Yeah,” she said stepping up to do so. “Hey, I thought your parents were dead,” Darcy said and then flinched before apologising for her outburst. “I’m sorry, that was totally uncool and rude.”

“It’s fine,” he promised. “Yeah, they are, but my mom left my brother and I her recipe book. I’ve guarded it for ages.”

“Oh,” she spooned out more pumpkin into the bowl. “I wish my mom had been crafty and homey like that.”

“Does your mother not cook?” Loki inquired politely.

“Not unless it comes from the frozen section and she only has to unwrap it, toss it in the stove or microwave, and then set it on the table. I hate frozen lasagne.”

“Oh,” Natasha sighed and pointed at Clint. “That. We’re making that once all the leftovers are gone,” she decided and rubbed her stomach. “I’ve been craving that.”

“What is it?” Loki asked looking to Clint for help.

“Pasta, meaty sauce, cheese, repeat until you fill the pan,” he said and then thought up a picture and the taste of the best kind he’s had.

Loki closed his eyes as it faintly came to him. “Ah, interesting.” He smacked his chops a bit and hummed, “Very delicious.”

“That’s so cool,” Darcy whispered a little jealously and then scooped another half out. “How many more do we have of these!?” she cried suddenly exasperated.

“Clint brought home a patch the other month,” Natasha said with a pointed look at the archer.

“I like pumpkin, sue me!” he said and went to open the cans of condensed milk while Natasha checked the cooking pumpkin in the oven.

“A few more minutes,” she decided. “Then that’s all!” She said waving her hands before her in a finish motion. “Too many pies. Too many pumpkins. Next year you’re getting a limit and if you break it, I’ll break you.”

“But pumpkins,” he frowned at her and gave her puppy eyes and a pouty frowny mouth.

“Get out of my face,” she sighed, hiding an affectionate smile, as she put her hand on his face and pushed him back out of her way so that she could mix the spices with the ready pureed batches. “Milk,” she asked holding out her hand. He gave it to her. “Make yourself useful,” she waved at him from over her shoulder. “You know how to make crusts.”

“That’s like the only thing I can bake that’s not ruined,” he laughed and started gathering what he needed to do such. “How many?”

“Um…” Natasha thought to herself. “I know for a fact we have four pumpkins so far. How about apple?”

“We’ll have…” Loki counted in his head. “We peeled and cut half the bushel, that’s about eight possible ones.”

“Pies for days!” Darcy cheered. “Pumpkin guts too…” she mumbled as she scooped out another glob of the cooked half unhappily.

“I suggest we stick with four and save the rest for other treats,” Loki advised in a tone that sounded more like a kind mother trying to reason with their sweet-ravenous child.

“Like what?” she asked curiously.

“Apple jam, tarts, breads, muffins, toppings for pancakes or the soggy toast thing Clint thinks about in the morning.”

“French toast,” he hummed and licked his lips. “Oh yeah, were doing that.”

“I vote for that,” Darcy said excitedly. “I don’t have telepathy, but I’d have gotten the picture from that noise and look if I didn’t already know what it was.”

“It’s not telepathy it’s…connection,” Clint tried explaining.

Loki rolled his eyes, ever fond of his love no matter how silly he was, and went to drain the water from a waiting bowl of mashed pumpkin. He put it in a large bowl and set it near Natasha for when she was ready for it.

“Aren’t we making another pie too?” Clint asked suddenly remembering.

“Another?” Darcy gasped. “What are we just having nothing but pie for dinner?”

“Oh I’d forgotten,” Natasha sighed. “Someone has to go out to get the corn syrups and more butter.”

“Nose-goes,” Darcy and Clint said and quickly shot their fingers to their nose tips.

“Oh stop it,” Natasha chided and patted Clint’s arm to get him to step aside so she could get the last pumpkin halves out of the oven. “You know better than to touch your face while you’re cooking.”

“It’s not touching it,” he lied and pulled it a tiny bit away.

“I’ll send Steven. He can blend into the crowd well.” She set a few things aside. “Clint, take over this; I’ll be right back,” she called as she left and hurried toward the training rooms.

“I’ll tell you the stuff,” he said to Loki. “If I touch it, it’ll ruin it.”

“Oh please,” Loki rolled his eyes. “As much as I love your dramatics, this is hardly the time.”

“I wish I was being overly dramatic,”

Loki sighed. “Very well. What is next?”

_Add the condensed milk,_

“Really Clinton?”

_It’s a secret family recipe!_ he defended.

Loki laughed and shook his head; yet let the archer mentally instruct him with the correct measurements. He blended them and set the finished creation aside just as Natasha and Steve entered.

“Both?” he frowned following her.

“Yes,” she nodded and continued on toward the front door.

“What else?” he asked following her out.

“Tada!” Clint said as he finished settling the pie crust into a tin and trimmed off the excess to the edges.

“Very lovely,” Loki said, and was truly surprised at how neat and almost perfect it was.

“Yeah that’s as far as my homemade cooking skills go,” he warned.

“I’ll teach you,” he promised.

“It’ll take forever,”

“I’ve got some time,” he shrugged and gave Clint a flirty look.

The archer smirked at him and they gravitated toward one another as their minds shared snippets of sensual activities, both memory and fantasy.

“I love you,” Clint whispered as he nuzzled the god’s nose gently.

“And I love you,” he replied and they kissed.

“Cute!” Darcy declared.

The two laughed and took a small step back from one another. Loki felt so light and giddy. He was surprised he hadn’t floated away yet. What a peculiar day he was having! No darkness to haunt him; finally officially engaged to the love of his life; kittens waiting for him to snuggle and adore; friends he trusted and cared for; the promise of a wonderful night still ahead…

“Kiss me again,” Clint begged with a dreamy loving look upon his face. Loki willingly obliged, taking his time and savoured him. The archer hummed and kept his eyes closed for a minute afterward. “One more?” he asked, not opening his eyes yet.

“You have tins to fill,” Loki reminded.

“One more and I’ll fill them all,”

“One more,” he gave in and kissed him, cradling his face this time. Clint moaned a little and sighed as they parted. Loki could feel how his body had burst into goose bumps and he realised his own was just as excited. He felt a little strange from it all, as if someone were holding him tightly; their fingers running through his hair comfortingly and the calming sound of their heart pounding in the chest his ear was held against. Only he didn’t feel calm, he felt jittery a bit. Anxious even, but in a good way. He couldn’t contain himself or stand to be in his own skin he was just overly excited.

It was rather distracting and slowed him down in his work. Natasha seemed to sense it too, and she helped keep him focused as he fumbled along, resisting the urge to look at Clint at every chance he could spare. Clint filled the tins as promised and Loki piled the apples into four of them and set a beautiful lattice criss-cross over their tops.

“Why do you pile them so high?” Darcy asked and set little dots of butter in certain spots.

“They soften,” Loki replied. “Put them in the middle as high as you can and they will then slowly sink and spread out. It helps make it even all around in the end.”

“Oh,”

“Did you make crusts for the pecan?” Natasha asked Clint.

“Yep,” he said and showed her. “There is left over too. Toss it, cook it, freeze it, I don’t care what you do with it,”

“We’ll find a use,” she promised and then nudged him. “You did good.”

“Ah, you did better,” he said bashfully.

“When do I not?”

They both laughed.

“This good?” Darcy asked Loki.

“One more here,” he said pointing to a spot on one of the pies. She put a small bit of butter on it. “Perfect. They’re ready for the oven.”

“I’ll do it. You both go,” Natasha waved at them.

“Seriously?” Clint asked guarded, in case it was a trap.

“Yes, go,” she said again, a little more forcefully. “You’ve both got your heads in the clouds; you’ll be no help standing around making googly eyes at one another while we wait for the pies to cook.”

“What about –” Loki began.

“We got it,” Darcy said confidently.

“Kay,” Clint shrugged and hurried out. Loki opened his mouth to protest, but the archer hurried back and dragged him away.

“Clint!” he said as he nearly stumbled on the stairs.

“Hurry before they change their minds,” he hissed.

“I can’t even stand straight,” he sighed as he stumbled again from the archer’s eagerness and laughed. He was practically crawling up them as Clint fumbled ahead as fast as he could manage.

“With what I’ve got in mind you won’t need to stand straight,” he quipped with a devilish grin over his shoulder.

Loki’s breath caught. Oh did he wish they could just indulge on the stairs. He felt a little embarrassed from his impulsive youthful thoughts, but delighted all the same. One day perhaps…

They rounded the corner and, in their haste and distracted mind-set, ran into Bruce from behind.

“We’re so sorry,” Loki said a little breathless.

“It’s fine,” he promised. “I’m just on my way back to my room.”

“Hey can we ask a favour of you?” Clint said suddenly.

“Sure?” he said adjusting his glasses a bit.

Loki went to protest when he realised Clint’s intentions, but the archer beat him to words. “Would you watch the kittens for a while?”

“Pardon?”

“You don’t have to,” Loki quickly added giving Clint a stern look.

“But it’d be great,” he said returning the same stubborn one back at him.

“Um, yeah, I can do that. They’re box trained right?” Banner asked.

“Yes,” he nodded and hurried to their bedroom. Loki and Bruce followed at a normal reasonable pace. “Here,” he said thrusting the kittens toward Bruce.

“Uh…” he blinked.

“I suppose I should clarify,” Loki said and took them so that Clint could race around the room and gather things. “We would like a little time alone…you’d be watching them in your room.”

“Oh,” he said looking at the cats. “Is…Darcy not available too?”

“She’s taking our place in the kitchen,” Loki further explained apologetically. “Natasha has banished us for a while.”

“Did Clint make a sexual innuendo involving bananas and cinnamon rolls again?” he sighed heavily.

Loki frowned. “No, but I’m curious now.”

“Don’t be, it’s stupid,” he promised. “Just forget it. I’m still trying to.”

Jareth fidgeted in Loki’s grip. He kicked his feet and meowed annoyed at being held for so long without getting attention.

“You’re fine,” Loki rolled his eyes and then bent down and started kissing his face repeatedly. Jareth held up a paw and meowed, pleased at first and then just annoyed again. “As I said before,” Loki said looking at Banner. “You don’t have too.”

“It’s fine, I’m pretty much room-bound the rest of the night,” he reached forward and stiffly held his hand toward the kitten.

“Do you not like felines?”

“Um…not me,”

“Ah,” he nodded understandingly. “If it is a bother –”

“No, he’s…it’s not that he doesn’t it’s just…it’s complicated.”

Loki nodded. “If it does prove to be too much, do not hesitate to return them promptly. I promise I will never hold it against you and neither will Clint.”

“I doubt you can make that last bit happen,”

“Trust me,” Loki winked and snuggled the kittens to his chest. “He’ll do whatever I tell him too or else he’ll find a new room to sleep in.”

Bruce chuckled and rubbed the back of his neck. Clint came out with the litter box and a backpack. “Okay let’s go!” he said gently pushing past them. They parted and followed him. Bruce opened the door to his room and invited them in. Clint hurried to set the box down and the bag. “They drink from the tap; food’s in there, Ást will tell you when it’s time by sitting near the dish; dish is in there; some toys; a shirt to snuggle in in case they get sad; and the litter is fresh.” He put his hands on Bruce’s shoulders. “You’re a savour and the best,” he said and hurried back toward their room.

“Clinton,” Loki called with a sigh.

He came back in and kissed and nuzzled each kitten before hurrying out again.

He sighed. “That wasn’t what I was calling him for, but…” he turned back to Bruce. “Are you sure this is alright?”

“Yes,” Bruce nodded, more confident this time. “I mean…they’re good right?”

“Yes,” he nodded. “But this is a new environment,” he added.

“It’ll be fine,” he decided. Loki nodded and gently set the kittens down. Jareth took off for the litter box and Ást started rubbing himself all over Bruce’s pillows.

“I’d put the box in the bathroom…Jareth can make a mess sometimes,” Loki added. “He gets a little over zealous with the scooping and turns it into a game.”

“Okay,” he nodded and Loki slipped out the door with another thanks. “Right,” he nodded and then rubbed his face. “It’ll be fine,” he promised himself. The Hulk huffed in a grumpy manner.

\-------------------------------------------------

Loki sighed a little guilty as he stood by the closed door. He wondered almost if he should…

“Loki!” Clint called impatiently from in their room. The door was left open and the god found Clint’s sweater on the floor in the hallway.

He sighed again, this time for a different reason, and picked up the article of clothing on his way in. He found his shirt on the floor just inside the door and picked it up as well. “You’ll be rather upset losing these,” he pointed out and then was grabbed and pressed up against the wall near the door. The air left his lungs and his heart began hammering in his chest. Clint’s face was less than an inch from his; his eyes were dark and his breathing was hard. His grip on Loki’s arms was firm and every bit of him radiated control.

Loki wanted to drop to his knees and surrender before him. He would have if Clint didn’t have such a hold of him. He swallowed and tilted his face up a little, melting into the wall, and submitted himself to whatever the archer had in store for them.

Clint leaned in slowly, gently drawing his nose against Loki’s before tracing it along his check and then down the side of his jaw. The god shivered and dropped the clothes as he set his hands upon Clint’s bare chest. “I love you…so much…” he whispered and pressed a simple kiss to the side of Loki’s chin.

He gasped and dug his fingers a little into his skin from excitement. “Clinton…” he breathed.

“Say it again,” he whispered, his breath hot on his face. He gently dragged his parted lips slowly up the one side of Loki’s face.

Loki shivered a little. “Clinton…” he repeated with a little more desperation. They kissed, grabbing one another tightly. Loki felt the press of their necklaces into each other’s chests and a thrill ran though him. He put a hand on the back of Clint’s neck and pulled his face closer, leaning back into the wall as he pressed his hips forward.

Clint added his tongue into the mix and growled as he cupped Loki’s rear, drawing him nearer. He ran a hand down one of his legs and pulled it up around him. Loki’s other hand went down and reached for Clint’s backside. He greedily grabbed at it as Clint squished him into the wall and moved against him.

“The door,” he managed between kisses when he realised it was still wide open, and they were not remotely being quiet.

Clint nipped his lip gently as he pulled away and shut it. Loki took a moment to breathe. “You okay?” he asked.

Loki nodded. “I’m just…” he swallowed. “Very…overwhelmed…in a good way,” he added.

“Already?” he smirked and then pulled the silk scarf from his back pocket. “But I haven’t even gotten you undressed yet.”

“I see you found where I hid that,” Loki smirked pleased.

“Yeah,” he purred coming toward him. “Neatly wrapped around a toy…almost like a suggestion...”

Loki moaned and was glad he’d chosen to lean against the wall for support. He watched as Clint stood before him and held it up.

“With your permission,” he said. Loki nodded and leaned his face forward so he could tie it. Clint did and then leaned in, letting his lips rest at the shell of his ear. “Your real form, please.” Loki obliged his request with a shiver of excitement. He felt Clint step back a bit. “How dirty are we going?”

“I’m at your mercy…” he replied, his voice husky.

“Oh your knees then,”

Loki dropped to them without missing a beat and reached forward. He found one of Clint’s legs and moved his hand to find the other. Once done he started working on his pants and got them opened, freeing his member and hungrily began tasting it.

Clint groaned and tangled his fingers into Loki’s hair. “Oh fuck babe,” he hissed and widened his stance. “Oh yeah…just like that…”

Loki had to switch to sucking it, for without his sight he found that licking caused him to bump it awkwardly against his face, or completely miss it. Keeping his mouth on it and near it helped guide him to where things were in relation to each other. He hummed as he mouthed down to the base, his other hand smoothing up Clint’s thigh and then gently began massaging his sac.

Clint groaned louder and shifted his legs a little. Loki licked his lips and moved in to replace his hand with his mouth. Clint let out a loud sound of content and Loki took care to pay them extra special attention tonight. He stroked Clint’s length slowly as he enjoyed his musky flavour. Something inside of him jumped thrilled by the scent and made him have to bite back a whimper of need.

“Oh fuck babe,” he hissed and tightened his grip on his hair. Loki hummed and flicked his tongue all over his balls before gently sucking them again, getting very personal with them for a bit. Clint leaned forward and set a hand against the wall to steady himself.

Loki’s free hand continued to slowly pet his leg and rear as he worked. He eventually decided to give his jewels a break and went back to loving his length. He used his tongue and mouth to worship it, gently stroking along it with a firm hand when he pulled is face back a little, using his other hand to help him blindly gauge the distance. He could feel his length getting warmer and hardening under his touch. Clint was starting to shake; just barely anything one would notice from looking at him, but Loki could feel the tremors and it urged him on to do more.

He licked his lips and then gently licked his head. Clint hissed a little, and Loki took him into his mouth. He teased his head for a while, sucking and swirling his tongue around it, his hand stroking along his length in a faster manner as he gently turned his head this way and that. Clint swore again and his hips moved forward just a little for more. Loki popped his head from between his lips with a loud noise, nuzzling it with his nose all the way down, pressing gentle kisses on his way back to his jewels and repeated the pattern.

“Oh fuck baby,” Clint hissed and tightened his grip on his hair again.

_Good?_ he purred.

_So fucking good…_ he sighed. He tensed a little and then groaned when Loki started working more of him into his mouth. His hips gave little jerks and the god opened his mouth and throat to accept more of him.

_Use me as you please,_

“Fuck,” he gasped and adjusted his grip on Loki’s hair. He started thrusting as gently as he could into his mouth. Loki ran his hands down his legs and massaged near his knees. It caused Clint to go a little weak. “Shit…” he whispered and then pulled back before he became too wound up.

Loki wasn’t having it. He wanted to feel his pleasure, to hear it, to taste it. He grabbed his right thigh, reached between the archer’s legs, and ran his finger along the seam of his pants near his hole. Clint gasped and nearly jumped out of his skin as the delicious feeling of being filled crept into him. He felt loose and sensitive, as if he’d been teased open and pleased for hours.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, _fuck_ ,” he swore under his breath over and over. He put both of his hands on the wall and moaned loudly as he rolled his hips, trying to get more of the phantom touch and Loki’s mouth.

The sound was heavenly gratifying in the most satisfying of ways. Loki moaned and bobbed his head along his length as he let his spell do the work. Clint was shaking harder now and his knees were giving in. Loki could tell he was trying his hardest to stand up right, but knew he would fall soon. He gently helped him to the ground and quickly made his hands and mouth busy once more.

Clint shouted and moaned and swore as Loki’s spell started picking up. It felt as though the god were inside him, thrusting gently and firmly. He couldn’t take it in tandem with his skilful clever mouth swallowing his member down, one hand massaging his sac, the other running around his leg, gripping his rear, or teasing his sensitive knees.

“Sh-shi-shit Loki!” he gasped and arched off the floor as he ran his fingers through his own hair. He could feel the god smiling around his member. Damn him. He was terribly sexy and blindfolded or not it was as if Loki could see him struggling to hold on. When he looked down at him, he felt as though his eyes were watching him and it made him shiver as his skin pulled into gooseflesh.

The magic inside him struck hard at his prostate and he cried out and threw his head back. It started a faster pace and Clint found he was trying to move to keep with it. He swore and moaned and whimpered until he was tense and taking short gasps of air. Loki doubled his efforts and before he knew it Clint was trembling under him and he felt his hot seed shoot into his mouth.

The archer gave a strangled weak cry and curled up a bit before melting into the floor with a deep moan. Loki slowed his magic to be a gentle push in and out of him and stroked the archer for more. He swallowed and lapped up all he could, knowing he’d gotten some on his blindfold and face in his haste to taste Clinton, who remained shivering under him until the spell faded.

He sighed and cleared his throat. “Oh…wow…” he whispered and sniffed, running his fingers through his hair. “That was…”

“I know,” Loki smirked and kissed his belly, letting his flaccid member go.

“You’ve got cum on your nose,” he said reaching down to gently brush his knuckles down his cheek.

“I can’t very well lick it off,” he teased with a devious grin.

“I can,” he nearly sang and they both laughed as Clint brought Loki up and licked the small smudge of semen from off the side of his nose. He hummed and then kissed the spot a few times. “Delicious, if I do say so myself,” he licked his lips.

“I wholly agree,” he smiled and felt Clint’s face with his fingers. He kept them near the archer’s mouth to help him find his lips and moved in for a kiss.

“Ah, so you’re not using your feelers?” he asked before Loki kissed him again.

“I don’t have feelers,” he laughed.

“Magically sensing things,”

“It’s just another sense; like seeing, hearing, tasting, and so on.”

Clint was silent for a moment as he looked the god over. He brushed some of the hairs that’d fallen over the blindfold and into Loki’s face back. “You’re so beautiful…” he whispered.

Loki hummed and kissed him again. “I think you forget that you exist,” he countered.

“Oh I know I’m hot,” he chuckled. “But damn…I must have done something wonderful in a past life to deserve you.”

Loki flinched a little and was glad the blindfold was on to hide the sadness he knew would plainly be in his eyes. He quickly kissed Clint again to stop him from inquiring about it if he felt it through their bond. It worked, and before long Loki was topless and they were grinding against one another with noises of appreciation or need. Clint rolled them over and got up on his knees.

“I’ve got plans for you,” he said, his voice deep and rich.

Loki shivered and smiled, holding out his hand for he knew Clint wanted him on the bed. The archer helped him up and led him over before giving him a shove. Loki landed on the soft bedding and sighed. The cool comforter felt wonderful under him. “How would you enjoy me?” he asked and ran his hands down his front.

“If we had the time and I the stamina? Everywhere, every way,” he replied. Loki noted from the distance of his voice he was in their closet. There was the soft thump of a drawer closing and Loki squirmed with anticipation.

Clint set what he needed just out of reach from the god and started on freeing the god of his pants. “This is for you,” he said and leaned down to press a kiss to the skin he’d just revealed upon opening his fly.

“I feel everything you do is for me,” he commented with a small frown.

“Is that a problem?” he asked and swatted Loki’s hands away when he brought them down to help him remove his pants.

“What if I want the same for you?” he challenged, his voice going a little huskier as the small show of dominance excited him.

“I know you do,” he said and looked down. “Are you not wearing underwear?” Loki only grinned proudly in response. Clint groaned and slowly pulled Loki’s pants off, taking his time as he pressed long loving kisses along the skin he exposed. “See? Right there, that…” he whispered and brushed his facial hair against the god’s calf. Loki jerked a little and reached down to touch Clint. “Hands,” he warned.

“Pardon?”

“Keep your hands up near your head.”

“Are you forbidding me touching you?”

“Yes,” he chuckled and rubbed his mouth around the side of his lower leg. Loki moaned and gripped at the bedding, his other leg bending and drawing up near his body. Clint completely removed his pants and tossed them away. He ran his hands over him, just touching, loving the feel of how soft and beautiful his skin was. The way his fingers dipped and bumped along his muscles and lines. He traced the lines along the top of his groin up to his chest, around his arms, down his sides, and along his legs.

Loki sighed and shifted as the sensation both tickled and aroused him. He felt as though the archer had spent hours touching him and he was more than primed to go. Clint on the other hand didn’t fell such. In fact he’d only been touching him for scarcely three minutes, watching as he swallowed and moved a little, his skin breaking into waves of goose bumps. He saw the god’s impatience and smirked to himself; that’ll teach him to use surprise magic.

“Clint…” he whined and shifted.

The archer turned Loki onto his side and slapped his ass. The god yelped in surprise and then groaned. “Hands,” he warned when he saw them moving down. Loki sighed heavily and set them above his head again as Clint rolled him to lay fully on his stomach. Clint’s smile widened and he massaged his rear and thighs to help get him to relax. Loki sighed and tried to stay patient. He couldn’t say the attention didn’t feel wonderful, but the anticipation was killing him.

When he was done Clint leaned over him and drew his facial hair down the god’s back. Loki arched up into him and moaned. Clint put a hand to the middle of his back to gently push him back down and repeated the action, moving his face from side to side in a wide slow squiggle line. Loki’s breath caught and his body broke into gooseflesh as he shivered. Clint repeated it, but added slow random kisses as he dragged out the action even more. Loki moved his hips a bit to try and help relieve the building tension within him.

Clint spanked him for doing so. The god groaned deeply satisfied.

“Like that baby?” he remarked and watched as Loki pushed his hips up just a tad; the sight doing just what the god wanted: making him enticing. The archer spread the god’s cheeks and bent, gently dragging his tongue from his sac to the top of his cleft. Loki jerked, tensing up, and then groaned as he relaxed. Clint nuzzled at his left cheek and gently bit it. Loki’s cheeks tensed for a second and the archer pressed a kiss to the spot and then gently drew his fingernails from the backs of Loki’s knees up to his shoulders. The god’s body rolled to meet his touch with a sigh.

Clint kept moving one hand to run along his body as he rubbed his fingers together, activating the spell Loki’d left there, and gently rubbed at his hole. Loki huffed impatiently and pressed back onto his finger. The action pushed the very tip into him and he moaned in relief.

Clint pulled it out and spanked him for it. The god gripped the sheets tightly and moaned again. “Am I not in charge?”

“No, you are,” he whispered.

“Then we do what I want,” he said and Loki shivered as the aching inside him deepened. Norns did he just wish he would fuck him hard already!

“Well,” Clint added quickly. “I mean I am if you want. If there is something –”

“Clint, have me as you will,” he said seriously. “If I don’t want it, you’ll know.”

Clint nodded, even though he knew Loki couldn’t see him. He took his time rubbing at Loki’s hole, making sure it was very relaxed before even attempting a finger. Loki was trying hard not to grind against the bed as he was tortured; hiding noises into the sheets and pillows. The rate at which he was being prepared was almost agony. The slow draw of one finger in and out of him at the snail pace was killing him! He growled and impatiently pressed back to push it further into him. A sharp slap had him jumping with a small shout of surprise. The stinging seeped into his skin and seemed to trickle down to his groin. He gave another frustrated huff and tried to stay still.

“Keep misbehaving and you won’t get another finger,” he warned lightly. Loki tripled his efforts at remaining still. After a bit he was rewarded with another finger and the archer began stretching and jiggling his hand to loosen Loki further. The god moaned high in his throat and pulled a pillow to groan into and bite on as he tried not to lift himself up and rock back for more.

Clint gently bit and kissed at his cheek as he prepared to insert a third finger. He leaned over him as he eased it in slowly. “Good boy,” he hissed in Loki’s ear as he held him down by his neck. The god moaned deeply and turned his head to the side breathe. His hair had fallen in his face and he panted heavily, some of the strands drawing into his mouth or puffing out and tickling him. Clint began moving his fingers a little faster. Loki huffed and ‘ah’ed, his self-control slipping a bit. He corrected himself and apologised, but Clint spanked him and he lost the privilege of a finger.

“Clint,” he whined. “I can’t –” he gasped. “I need –”

“Shhhh,” he pressed a kiss to his ear and removed his fingers all together. Loki remained still until he felt something else at his entrance. He went to lift his hips, but Clint’s hand on his lower back stopped him. He exhaled as the cold object slipped a little into him and he realised what it was: one of the vibrators. He moaned and widened his legs a bit. Clint gently pushed just the tip of it in and out until the motion became smoother and he could go deeper with it. “Hold this here,” he commanded. Loki complied only holding the toy where the archer indicated. He felt his muscles moving excitedly around it and he couldn’t imagine what the archer was doing, especially when he left the bed.

He was about to ask him when he felt him crawl back onto the bed and gently removed his hand from the handle. Loki’s hand quickly returned to the top of the bed. Clint began moving it, turning it on the first setting. The thing began vibrating and Loki groaned and relaxed into the bed as his muscles clinched around it for a moment. The archer picked up the pace and leaned over Loki, panting in his ear as he moved his body in time with the toy. The god gasped and tried not pushing back into it. He wanted more, deeper, thicker. The toy was grand and all, but it’s girth was nothing compared to Clint’s and he longed for him to be inside of him. He knew though that wasn’t the archer’s only intent this evening though and he had surrendered to him. Damn him and his impatient needs! If he had just kept a level head perhaps he’d have been able to get things to move along faster. Oh who was he kidding? He loved it when Clint tortured him with pleasure.

“Clinton!” he gasped and curled his toes as he death gripped the top of the mattress.

Clint moaned. “That’s it baby,” he encouraged and leaned back, moving the toy in and out of him at such a way it took Loki’s breath away. He squirmed a bit, trying to hold tighter to the bed instead of risking reaching back. “That good?” he asked as he tilted it a little and used the angle and kicked it up another notch to stimulate Loki’s prostate.

The god cried out and clawed at the sheets, his feet pushing on the bedding, pulling it down some.

“Thought so,” he smirked and then pulled the toy out. Loki whimpered and took deep heavy breaths to relax himself. Clint pulled on his side and he rolled over obediently. “Spread ‘em,” he said. Loki opened his legs and lifted them up, presenting himself as he kept his hands up above his head. “Good,” Clint smiled and rewarded Loki with a kiss. “Do you want it?” he asked just pressing the head of the toy at Loki’s entrance.

“Yes,” he gasped.

“Do you?”

“Yes,” he moaned tilting his face back, knowing how the angle made his neck and mouth look so temptingly inviting. He could feel Clint’s desire for him and it only added to his needs. “Please Clinton…” he breathlessly begged.

“I don’t think you mean it,” he smirked.

Loki growled frustrated and gripped the bed tighter. “I swear by the Nine if you do not –”

Clint pulled back and twisted Loki’s lower body to the side to clap him on the ass in a swift motion. “What was that?”

Loki swallowed and exhaled heavily. “Please…” he begged. “Please Clinton. I want it. I _need_ it…” he finished in a deep purr.

Clint set his body back the way it had been and gently reinserted the toy. He moved it in a good rhythm and Loki moaned and shifted a little, drawing his legs up higher. Clint continued to watch him and leaned down, switching hands holding the toy so that he could help take Loki’s length into his mouth. The god exhaled in a huff and widened his legs. Clint bobbed his head and once he’d found a good rhythm he reached between his legs and started playing with himself. He groaned as he pushed his fingers inside of himself, making sure to keep that feeling near enough to their bond, but far enough away so it wouldn’t overwhelm the other sensations Loki was experiencing.

The god arched up a little and swore in a language Clint was unfamiliar with; his legs shaking as he fought not to lose himself and disobey Clint’s requests. The archer let his member fall out of his mouth and smiled. He relaxed and closed his eyes as he focused on his work, leaning forward to mouth along Loki’s length or legs; occasionally just brushing his face against his skin.

Preparing someone was much different than doing it yourself, and Clint had to make sure he didn’t go in for the kill on himself; especially with Loki’s desires influencing him. He had to pause after his hand jerked up, pushing his two fingers deep within himself and brushing at his prostate. He swore as he exhaled heavily and rested his forehead on Loki’s thigh. He gently bit at the tender skin and watched as Loki drew them closer to his body.

He grabbed at the backs of his knees and pulled his knees up near his ears, lifted his rear higher so that the next time Clint pushed the toy in it would hit right where he needed. Clint realised this and pulled it out of him. The god moaned upset.

“Cheating will get you nowhere,” he reprimanded.

“It’s not cheating, I was being resourceful,” he smirked. “Cheating is what you’re doing with your fingers down there.” He hitched his breath at the same time Clint rubbed at his own prostate. They both moaned deeply.

“I’m not cheating, I’m being resourceful,” he smiled and removed his fingers. He took the toy and sat up on his knees, using his free hand to help align and push it into himself.

“What are you doing?” Loki asked tensing a little. He brought his legs down and reached out for him.

“Hands,” he warned.

“Spank me, I dare you,” he said flatly and then shivered.

“I think you’d like that a little too much.” He leaned forward and pressed kisses along Loki’s inner thigh as he started working the toy in and out of himself slowly.

Loki growled a little frustrated and then softly gasped. “I think I have an idea of where it went,” he muttered to himself.

“Pouting like that only makes me want to fuck your mouth,” Clint warned.

“You’ll find no resistance from me,” he assured.

Clint groaned and decided to ignore his offer for now. He used his not so busy hand to help him stroke Loki’s member as he mouthed and sucked on it until Loki was gripping the top of the bed tightly. It was work and his wrists were starting to grow tight from the awkward angle, but it was completely worth it. The sounds of Loki’s pleasure, the sight of him trying to hang on…

Clint pushed the toy right against his own prostate.

“Clinton!” Loki moaned and arched a bit. “That’s not fair,” he panted and then reached down to touch him. Clint pulled back and continued to torment himself and Loki through the bond. The god arched and fisted the sheets tightly, shifting his hips on the bed as if the toy were still being used upon himself.

Clint slowly lowered the intensity setting and then eventually removed the toy. Loki stopped moving and relaxed a little, calming a bit as he waited. Clint set it aside and leaned down, stroking him and stealing kisses to his calves until his length was firm enough. He leaned over him and kissed him. Loki’s fingers flexed as he felt Clint’s weight shift over him. The archer squatted above him and reached for the god’s member and positioned himself.

“Clinton,” Loki breathed, and the archer smirked as he slowly lowered himself. The god moaned and shifted a little under him.

Clint hummed and wiggled his hips slowly to bring himself further down onto him. The spell had been fantastic earlier, but this? This was heaven. “Lo…” he moaned and moved to be on his knees. He started a snail pace of rolling his hips, Loki moving under him until he was opened enough and his ass was flush with his pelvis.

Loki pulled at the top of the mattress, trying his hardest to be good. “I desire to touch you,” he panted.

“Wait,” Clint huffed and continued to move, rubbing at his own chest as he started moving a little faster.

Loki groaned and matched Clinton’s pace as best as he could. When Clint went a little faster and put a little more oomph in his motions he leaned a little too far to the side and nearly lost his balance. Loki forgot himself and accidentally reached to steady him. “Sorry,” he whispered and hurried to pull his hands back as he felt Clint pause to shift over him.

“No, no, I want it too,” he groaned and pulled Loki’s hands back to smooth along his chest. “Touch me now.”

Loki exhaled heavily and let his hands move down his sides until as they gravitated down to grab up Clint’s rear; greedily squeezing and massaging it. Clint leaned forward a bit and started moving. The god brought a hand down hard and spanked him. “Yes!” Clint gasped and let his head drop forward as he picked up the pace. “Uh yes…take control baby…I surrender it now.”

Loki spanked him again before bracing his feet on the bed and thrust up into him. The archer bounced up and down, straightening and grabbing a fist full of his own hair as he cried out in ecstasy.

“Uh fuck! Yes!”

“Come on,” Loki hissed and clapped his ass harder than before. Clint moaned and moved faster. He was riding Loki so hard the headboard began slamming into the wall. It only added to their excitement and made Clint work as hard as he could. Loki squeezed and spread his cheeks in an attempt to get more of himself into him. It only worked a little, but it was enough.

“S-spank me,” Clint begged breathless. Loki obliged. “Yes, keep going,” he groaned and set his hands on either side of Loki’s head.

The god moaned and continued as requested, alternating cheeks, and soothing when he felt the skin become too warm. Clint’s shouts were delectable and he adored the way he moved above him. He could tell he was trying to seek a favourable angle that would give himself pleasure as well as something that would allow him to grind his erection against Loki’s belly for more satisfaction.

_Don’t worry about my pleasure_ , Loki reminded and groaned as Clint’s muscles tightened around him. _Seek yours._

Clint ‘uh’ed loudly and leaned back way from the god. He put his feet against the bed and set his hands behind him as he sought his own release. It came in several well aimed thrusts and then Clint was shouting as his back hit the bed. Loki kept a hold of his hips and continued thrusting in and out of him.

“ _FUCK_!” he swore loudly and gasped, his hand hurrying to jerk himself off as his cum shot all over his chest, a little getting on the sheets near his shoulder. His hole tightened and Loki knew he was going to lose it.

“Do it,” Clint groaned and tried helping him with the odd position they were in. He gave up after a bit, the will to move gone from him. Loki gave a few more sharp thrusts up and growled, keeping his hips a little up off the bed as he came. Once his muscles had stopped pulsing he relaxed down.

They lay there panting for a moment before Clint carefully got up. He groaned at the feel of Loki’s softening member still inside him as he sat back on his lap. Loki pulled him down and kissed him. They shifted and moved against one another, the god’s member falling out along with his seed and some of the warmed lubricant.

Loki rolled them onto their side and they continued to gently and soothingly caress one another as the shared lazy content kisses. Loki kept bumping his nose into Clint’s and his mouth. Both of them laughed.

“Here,” Clint said gently cradling his face and took control of the kissing, giving Loki freedom to touch him. He noticed the god’s hands searching over his chest, and he realised what he was looking for. He helped Loki draw a finger up his torso, gathering some of his release up and brought it to his mouth to savour. Loki hummed as he sucked on his own fingers.

“Y’know, some people think this shit’s gross,” Clint pointed out.

“It can be,” he agreed. “However you’ve always tasted delicious to me.”

“No matter how bitter and salty?”

“Perhaps it’s just a…frost giant thing,” he began with some difficulty. “But you’ve never tasted bitter to me. Salty? Yes, but not overly. More sweet than anything.”

“Sweet?” he asked a little surprised and tried recalling if he’d ever found semen to be sweet.

“You’ve never found any to be so?” he asked curiously.

“No, normally it’s just salty. If it’s unpleasant I won’t go in for it, but sometimes, y’know?” he shrugged and then dabbed up a bit off of his chest and took a taste. “I’m not getting sweet,” he admitted.

“Perhaps my taste buds are overly sensitive,” Loki said, feeling self-conscious.

“Show me?” he asked a little excited; knowing that to do so would help them better understand one another.

Loki opened his mouth and stuck out his tongue. Clint wiped up some more and put it in his mouth. Loki sucked on his finger, humming a little as he focused and opened himself up to share with Clint.

“Oh wow,” he said surprised and smacked his lips together. “Is it always like this?”

“It varies,” he admitted and was thankful he still had the blindfold to hide some of the guilt he knew would be in his eyes. “But it is mostly like this.”

“Hey,” Clint said turning his face up to him some. He gently pulled the blindfold up and waited for Loki to open his eyes and look at him. “Just because you think it tastes like a,” he paused a smacked his lips together thoughtfully. “God I don’t know what I would call that. It’s like sour, but sweet, but…not bitter but it’s got a bite and it makes my mouth water. Like there has to be a food that tastes like this. Anyways,” he shrugged and smiled at him. “I’m really flattered and relieved to know that my jizz doesn’t taste repulsive.”

“You feared it did?” he raised a brow at him curiously.

“Sort of. Y’know how like people are always worried about their body smell, but really unless you’re really sweaty and gross, your scent only bothers people who have very similar immune systems.”

“Really?” he asked surprised.

“Yeah, I watched a special about it. That’s why some people think other’s smells are super strong and like…it makes you almost cringe. It’s an evolutionary thing to keep people with immune systems that are too similar from procreating. Different immune systems continue to generate changes that strengthen the species overall and so on.”

“Well no wonder why you smell so divine,” he smiled.

“Yeah, like mulberries still?” he asked sticking his tongue between his teeth as he smiled.

“Sun ripened fresh,” he reminded with a playful smile as he ran a hand along Clint’s side and down to bring his leg up around him more. “But that is your kiss. You smell…” he thought about it and licked his lips, “Like I’m standing in a forest during a spring thunderstorm.”

“What’s that like?”

“The air is electric, warm, yet nothing overly heavy…it’s earthy, damp, alive, fresh, and fragrant with that sweetness of tree sap. Flowers…” He looked at him and blushed a bit.

“Just keep talking,” he begged and shifted a little closer, putting his arms around him.

Loki hummed and ran his hand up Clint’s thigh and to hold him a little closer. “Shall I return the blindfold?” he asked.

“Yes,” he nodded and helped him. “Can you see?”

“Only with my _feelers_ ,” he teased.

“I knew it,” he whispered and they both laughed. “Are you tired?”

“I want to be offended by such a question…”

“I just need my ass pounded,” he sighed wistfully.

“That, I can do,” he promised and kissed down his throat.

“See, I had plans,” he began and Loki hummed curiously. “I was going to make you beg and stuff, do some denial of release, talk extra dirty to you, eat your ass out until you were screaming with pleasure…”

“There is still time,” Loki reminded.

“I’m sleepy,” he moped.

“I wasn’t speaking of just this day,” he said bringing a hand up to carefully feel his way around Clint’s face so he could kiss his mouth.

“Oh…well then,” he said wagging his eye brows as his voice hinted on the suggestive side.

Loki smiled and kissed him again. His hand moved down the side of his body and down to pull his leg to hook higher around him. He gripped his rear then, kneading it as he mouthed down Clint’s neck to his chest.

It didn’t take long for Loki to ignite excitement within the archer. He knew him well enough that with several well-spoken choice words and a few deep moans in his ear, Clint was rocking against him panting, and hissing as he desperately sought for more.

Loki moved to lay on top of him, carefully steadying himself on his knees and running his hands down Clint’s thighs and up his chest. He felt him arch under him and swallow as he sighed. “Play with yourself,” he whispered. “Just here,” he clarified, indicating he only wanted Clint to finger himself.

“Not like you can see,” he pointed out.

“I’ll know,” Loki said confidently, and moved his hand until he found Clint’s length. He just held it, making sure Clint complied with his wishes without sneaking in a few touches. His other hand stroked himself slowly to hardness.

“Cheating,” Clint muttered.

Loki smirked and tightened his grip a little.

“Just move your hand a little,” Clint sighed as he fingered himself.

“No,” Loki said. “You surrendered.”

“I take it back,” he whined and rubbed his fingers close to his prostate, making his body tense and his toes curl up. “I take it back…” he said breathlessly.

Loki reached forward and put a hand on Clint’s arm to stop him. “If you finish yourself off like this, what use am I?” he asked.

“Fine,” he sighed again and slowed down, wiggling his hips a bit to make himself more comfortable. “God one day I’ll get you back for this.”

“I’ll try and not die from anticipation until then,” he smirked and indulged him with a few firm strokes before letting him go. He switched to quickly jerking himself until he knew he was ready and then lay over Clint; using one hand to position himself. He kissed him as he traded Clint’s fingers for himself. The feel of Clint’s exhale sent shivers along his body and he felt the archer roll under him and huff a few times as his body welcomed him easily.

“Oh god…” he sighed, wrapping his arms and legs around Loki.

Loki brought his lips slowly forward and he kissed Clint’s chin when he came into contact with it before he started moving.

Clint sighed contently and then arched into him as Loki’s motions gained speed and power. “Loki!” he moaned loudly and tangled his fingers in his hair, pulling him down to kiss him. “Yes…” he hissed and squeezed his eyes shut. “Ugh just like that!”

So he moved just as Clint begged him too, increasing his motions until he felt Clint’s body tightly locked around him. The way the archer’s legs and arms were it was starting to inhibit his movements so he gently loosened his hold and straightened; holding Clint’s thighs as he tilted his hips up and thrusted forward.

Clint cried out and held onto Loki’s forearms as he curled his toes. “Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!” he repeated, his voice growing softer with each one until he had to take a breath. It was all too good; the angle, the speed, the firmness of his member moving in and out of him – Clint couldn’t stand it. It felt as though it’d been forever since he’d been had and the way Loki looked over him, his hair rumpled, blindfold securely over his eyes, his blue body covered in a thin layer of sweat, his muscles flexing as he moved – ugh it drove Clint crazy. He swore again and whimpered as his skin crawled with delight as Loki lifted his hips a little more and pushed into him harder. It made it feel as though he were deeper inside of him and he tightened his hole with a moan to indicate his enjoyment.

Loki locked in on that position and gave it his all, listening for the moment when Clint quickly gasped and held his breath for a moment. It came and so did Clint a second later. He hissed and quickly grabbed his member and began jerking himself off as he came; his other hand flying up to pull on his hair as he gave a shout and then groaned deeply.

“Yes!” Loki hissed as he felt Clint’s hole tighten. He pushed himself inside Clint and came as the archer’s muscles continued to squeeze around him. He huffed and groaned, shaking a little as his body shivered and sparked, his mind going numb. He leaned forward and caught himself on his hands, planted on either side of Clint’s head. The archer was panting heavily under him. He could feel his body shaking a little as his senses returned to him.

Clint reached up to pull Loki down into a passionate embrace, kissing him deeply for a few minutes before gently removing the blindfold. Loki blinked until his eyes had adjusted and then he smiled down at Clint, who was gazing up at him with a loving smile upon his face.

“Not what you’d planned, but worth the effort still?”

“Oh yeah,” he nodded. “We can do the rest when we’re not so…frisky,” he said, savouring the word a bit.

“Frisky, hm?” Loki asked raising a brow.

Clint tilted his head back and closed his eyes with a deep hum. “Oh, say it again…” he whispered.

“Frisky,” Loki said drawing the sounds of the word out a bit.

Clint shivered and ran his hands along the god’s body. “Yeah…” he said loving what the sound of his voice did to him.

Loki chuckled and pressed a few gentle kisses to his face and mouth. “I doubt you’re in a state to move much,” he said as he straightened and sat on his knees.

“Nope,” he said keeping his eyes closed and stretched just enough so that when he relaxed he was sprawled out on the bed comfortable. “I’m just gonna chill here with the clouds…”

Loki laughed and leaned forward to give him another kiss before he carefully climbed out of bed and went to the bathroom. He relieved himself and wetted a cloth to clean himself up with and then returned to help Clint. “Come,” he said gently patting his calf and then held out his hand as he reached the bed.

“No,” he whined a bit and shifted. “I don’t want to move.”

“I’m not letting you soil yourself because you are overly sated,” he said and pulled a little on Clint’s legs to bring him down a tad. “Not this night any ways.”

“I’ll remember that remark,” Clint said cracking an eye to look at him. He sighed grabbed Loki’s offered hand, letting the god help him up to use the bathroom and then back to their bed, where he promptly face planted upon his arrival and didn’t move.

Loki sighed and rolled him over. He was dead weight and Loki resisted chuckling in triumph over bringing him to such a state. What a victory.

“I feel like Jell-O,” Clint commented and closed his eyes again.

“You move like it too,” Loki chuckled and began running a cold cloth over Clint’s body to clean him up.

He hummed. “Careful…”

“You couldn’t try to become aroused even if I were to use my magic,” he snorted at him.

“Challenge accepted,” he smirked.

Loki laughed and gave him a kiss. “I’m going to fetch the kittens,” he said and went around to pick up his discarded pyjama pants to slip on.

“Not yet,” he moped.

“I shall not leave them to torment Dr. Banner any longer. He was more than kind enough to take them on such extremely short notice,” he pointed out and bent to pick them up.

“Sexy,” he said watching him bend over and then slide them on.

Loki smirked at him from over his shoulder and then winked at him as he left the room. He waved a hand down his front and materialised a sweater over his chest before heading to Bruce’s room. He knocked on the door.

“It’s opened,”

Loki opened the door. “I’ve come to rescue you.”

“Oh,” he said. He was sitting in the middle of the floor with Ást laying over his shoulders and Jareth clinging to his shirt-front. Both of the cats looked at Loki. Jareth meowed; the tiny sound was loud and whiny in a happy manner.

“Hello loves,” he smiled and shut the door behind him before he took a few steps in.

Ástnæmr crawled down Bruce and stretched on the ground before hurrying over. Jareth lifted a paw and realised he was caught on his shirt. He meowed loudly again, this time a little in distress.

“I hope they didn’t give you too much trouble,” Loki said and lifted Ást into his arms, holding him up enough on one side so he could crawl and lay upon his shoulders.

“No, they were…rather calming,” he admitted surprised. “The other guy is sort of…not unhappy about them.”

“Well I thank you both greatly,” he said and motioned toward Banner’s chest where Jareth was still whining and trying to get lose. “May I?”

“Oh, yeah,” he said lifted his chest some. Loki crouched and helped untangle Jareth.

“If you’re going to climb, you need to learn how to retract your claws,” he laughed and held Jareth to his chest.

The kitten rubbed against him gratefully and meowed in greeting.

“So um…” Bruce said awkwardly and got up. He waved his hands a bit and then his face morphed into surprise. “Wait…did…you just…um…”

Loki politely waited for him to speak.

“Never mind,” he said turning away. “Um…y’know…if you need the night off…” he began and then shook his head. “Never mind.”

“Are you offering to continue watching them?” Loki asked curiously and didn’t hide his surprise.

“No, I mean,” he shrugged and rubbed at his hands nervously. “I mean…”

“Was my assumption overly bold and incorrect?”

“No, you were right,”

“You…you don’t have too,” Loki began.

“I know,”

He was quiet for a moment. “If you wish to, I don’t see why it would be a problem. When would you like me to return for them?”

“The evening. The…” he cleared his throat. “The big guy…”

Loki sort of guessed what he was getting at. The big guy was probably curious and interested in the kittens. Perhaps it was a test of will and patience or just to discover something more about that part of himself. Regardless, he sensed no threat to the kittens.

“It was a stupid selfish request,” Bruce began.

“Bruce,” Loki began and gave him an openly honest and sincere look. “If you or the other guy wish to spend time with the kittens, I will not stop you. As much as I adore them, it honestly would be nice to spend the evening without having to worry about them getting into things or having them in my face. Reading is very hard with two needy kittens dying for affection all over you.”

“Clint won’t mind?”

“I’m certain Clinton is asleep by now, if not he will be soon. He spent the morning trying to get back into his old training routine.”

“Ah, so the peace and quiet will be welcomed,” he realised.

“Yes,” he nodded.

“I’ll watch them for the evening,” Bruce decided. The big guy pulled at his mind a bit and he waved him away. “We’ll watch them for the evening,” he corrected.

“Thank you,” he said and gave Jareth a kiss. “Be good for them,” he said in a very maternal tone.

Jareth meowed.

“Yes, I know, but you must behave.”

He rubbed his face all over Loki’s. He gave him one more kiss before setting him on the ground. He carefully grabbed Ást and put him on the ground as well, running a hand down his back. Ástnæmr stretched and brushed against his legs. “I shall see you all later,” he waved and headed toward the door.

“Thanks,” Bruce said with a small anxious wave.

“Not at all, thank you both again,” he said giving a small sincere smile and left.

_Loki acknowledged Hulk,_ the other guy said surprised.

“Yeah,” he said aloud. “He did…he…I guess he always sort of has.”

_Hulk friend…_

Bruce nodded and then looked down to where Jareth was trying to climb up his pant leg. “Uh…” he began, bending to gently remove his claws out of the fabric before picking him up fully. “So you’re the climber one, huh?”

Jareth meowed at him.

_Hulk friend to kitties too,_ the other guy decided.

“We’re not getting a cat though,” he said quickly.

_No…but fish would be nice._

“I guess we’ll look into a fish then, huh?” he mused as he sat back down and started playing with the kittens. It was strange, the feeling that settled inside of him because of it. It was an odd sort of calm he hadn’t felt in a very long time. In fact he was certain it was the first time he’d ever felt the Hulk not angry. When it was well past dark, Loki returned to take them back. He sincerely thanked Bruce again and took everything with him. Bruce stared at the floor, where he’d spent a majority of the day playing with the cats before they either grew bored or sleepy and ran off to snuggle up or find new adventure somewhere, for a few minutes. Or more like the big guy did and Bruce just stood there waiting for him to be done.

When he felt himself once again free to move, he shook himself and then readied for bed and sat with a book quietly reading. The big guy wasn’t really into it so Bruce found himself not enjoying it as much as he’d have liked to.

“Yes?” he finally sighed, giving up on his book.

_Bruce is Hulk’s friend?_

He was quiet for a moment. “I don’t know,” he said honestly. “I…I didn’t think I could be friends with myself.”

_Not self, Hulk._ Hulk’s _friend._

Bruce slowly closed his book and set it aside, taking a moment to think it over. “Could you be friends with me, if our positions were reversed and I was the unwanted guest living within you; raging at every slight, trying to get out and mindlessly destroy? Could you live comfortably with someone who had ruined your life?”

_Bruce think Hulk ruined life?_

“Kind of,” he said honestly. “I had someone who loved me. I had a career, a home, a future, and friends.”

_Bruce still have those things. More too._

Bruce was quiet for a moment. He licked his lips and sighed heavily. “Yes, that is sort of true…but it’s a different job, a different home, and different friends and…” he rubbed his face and sighed again. “Betty’s…never going to be in my life again. My future is uncertain. I don’t have a direction or the drive like I had before.”

_Hulk will help Bruce find way,_ he vowed.

“No!” he said quickly. “No, you just stay…how you are. Don’t do anything extra. This…what we have now is much…it’s not what I’d like but it’s better than what it was before. I know I’ll never have my life the way it was before the accident, but if I had to choose between how things were with us before and now, I’d choose now.”

_Because Hulk and Bruce friends._

He sighed heavily and reluctantly said, “We’re not enemies.” He couldn’t actually fathom the idea of being friends with this other side of himself. No, this other side that happened to be attached to himself; this parasitic entity he had to forever share a body and mind with. He suddenly wondered if Loki had similar problems with the darkness that he had with the Hulk. What was he thinking? Of course he did. He’d seen first-hand that Loki could be gripped and pushed aside while the darkness took a hold of him, using him as an instrument for it’s own purposes, much in the same manner the rage that fed the Hulk would force a transformation and trap Bruce in a dark corner of his mind, leaving him fearful as he watched helpless and sick at the destruction wrought by this senselessly aggressive monster.

_Hulk no monster!_ he growled angrily and Bruce felt his blood rush through his body; his heartbeat sped up and a primitive noise slipped from his mouth.

“Then what are you?” he demanded annoyed as he fought to rein in his emotions before he transformed and destroyed half the house.

_Hulk is Hulk._

Bruce exhaled heavily; he was incredibly frustrated and tired. “I can’t be sorry for it. For what we’ve done – what you’ve made me do; the destruction and lives and horror you’ve made me bring to countless innocents, that is not the stuff of heroes but of monsters.”

_Hulk no monster. Bruce no monster. Hulk is Hulk. Bruce is Bruce. Hulk is Bruce. Bruce is Hulk. Hulk learn from Bruce. Bruce learn from Hulk._

He wanted to laugh and cry at the same time for he felt that was utterly ridiculous. “Me?” he bitterly guffawed in disbelief. “Learn from you? What have you possibly taught me of value?”

_Bruce learn fortitude from Hulk. Bruce learned tenacity._

“You didn’t teach me to be tenacious or courageous.”

_Bruce was scared!_ the Hulk said angrily and Bruce slammed his fist against his chest in the manner he felt the Hulk do in his head. _Bruce was sad. Father scared Bruce. Bruce needed Hulk. Bruce asked for Hulk and Hulk here now. Hulk helped Bruce stand up to monsters. Hulk has been with Bruce for a long time. Bruce could not see Hulk._

Bruce sat quietly and rubbed the sore spot on his chest as he thought about what he’d said. He didn’t like thinking about it. He didn’t want to; the truth felt awful and it was just easier to blame everything on the accident rather than facing reality.

_Bruce made Hulk. Hulk is Bruce. Bruce is Hulk._

He closed his eyes. “Please,” he whispered. “Can…can we talk about this later? I…I’m tired.” He felt the big guy settle down and the tension from his shoulders vanished. He set his book aside and switched off the light before closing his eyes and tried to keep his mind blank as he hoped sleep would come quickly.

The Hulk gently activated a part of his mind that brought the memory of one of his birthdays to light. He saw his mother, or what he could remember of her. After everything he had only one photograph of her, and it was from long before he was born, around the time when she would have been about to graduate high school. He remembered her always being lovely and with rich chocolate brown hair; however, he couldn’t remember what colour her eyes were or if she had any freckles or moles on her face. The photo was from the late 1950s or early 60s, he wasn’t sure which. The warmth of colour in that old style of photography always made him feel at home. The landscape was mostly sepia, but the flowers in the field and his mother were what popped and brought real life to the picture. Her head was slightly turned and bent down a little, her eyes averted in a shy fashion as she stood among the tall yellow grass dotted with cornflower blue flowers. She was in a beautiful white halter dress with a powder blue floral print and a white belt around her waist. She looked happy and healthy; two things Bruce never recalled her being in his childhood.

The Hulk pushed those thoughts aside and reactivated the memory again.

_Robert was sitting at the kitchen table. He always had to wait until his father had gone off to work before coming down or else risk his wrath. His mother was peeking out the window, both of them tense and silent. When she smiled and let the curtain corner drop back into place Robby let the breath he’d been holding go._

_“I have something for you dear,” she beamed and hurried to the oven. She removed a plate and set it before him. It held a beautifully frosted and decorated chocolate cake with green swirls and blue flowers. The words:_ Happy Birthday Robert _where written on the top. “Do you like it?” she asked him nervously._

_“I love it mama,” he promised and waited as she got a few candles._

_“I don’t have enough,” she apologised as she set the only three she could find on the top of the cake close together. They were already used and obviously leftovers from different parties, for none matched as they should have. Honestly though, he loved that they didn’t._

_“It’s okay mama; it’s the thought that counts, right?”_

_She smiled at him and gently cupped his cheek before going to find a match. She struck it, lit them, and sang to him. When she was finished Robby squeezed his eyes shut and wished. No prayed. He prayed for his mother’s happiness and for them to have a better life. Then he took a deep breath and blew out the candles. His mother clapped and they ate the cake for breakfast._

_“I’m going to give Mrs. Gregory the rest. She said you can come over and take whatever you want when you want, so long as you keep your grades up and remain good.”_

_“You know I will mama,” he smiled at her. She smiled back at him and then got up._

_“I have this for you too,” she said and went into the other room for a moment before bringing out a small box wrapped in newspaper._

_Robby took it and carefully tore the paper off of it and the small bit of tape holding it closed. Inside was the Star Trek Mr. Spock action figure he’d been dying to have since he saw it. “Mama!” he cried joyously and pulled it out of the box. It was exactly what he’d wanted. “Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!” he said over and over again before giving her cheek a huge kiss._

_“I’m glad you like it,” she laughed pleased._

_“Mama, how did you know?” he asked as he began opening the toy from the package._

_“Oh, you know how mothers are. We just know,” she shrugged. “That’s the right one, yes?”_

_“Yes,”_

_“Good,” she nodded and gave a small sigh. “I couldn’t remember which one; I just remembered they were in blue.”_

_“Live long and prosper,” he said holding his hand out as best as he could in the Vulcan greeting. His mother mimicked it and repeated the phrase. “May I go out and play?”_

_“Of course love, just take care to stay away from the road.”_

_“Thank you mama,” he said and gave her cheek a kiss again before he ran off._

As wonderful as that memory was, Bruce also remembered when his father had found the toy. He had only been able to cherish it for about week when he’d carelessly left it on his bed while he readied for bed. His father had torn the toy apart and then burned it on the stove. Bruce had sobbed and pleaded while his mother had held him back, trying to comfort him until his father had yanked them apart and beaten them both before stumbling out to find a bar.

The Hulk grunted and pulled Bruce’s thoughts away from that and back into the moment when his mother had first presented the cake. Whenever it came to the end, he’d gently bring them back to the beginning before Bruce could remember the aftermath. It helped him ease into a not so stressful or dark sleep that he usually found himself in. When he woke in the morning he lay staring at the ceiling for a while and was surprised to find the big guy was sleeping inside him. He realised he must have stayed away all night trying to keep Bruce’s nightmares at bay and it made him a little uncomfortable. Well uncomfortable was the wrong word. It was something between uneasy and awkward. Almost intrusive which made him feel even stranger considering it was his body and mind. He sighed and tried to relax his brain before his chaotic thoughts disturbed the Hulk. If he had been kind and considerate enough to stay up and guard Bruce against his night terrors for a decent bit of rest who was he to deny him the same now?

He carefully considered their conversation until someone knocked on his door. The big guy woke with a start and made Bruce jump so violently he slammed his head against the headboard. He hissed and rubbed the spot before getting up to answer it.

“Yes?” he asked and blinked a few times against the light in the hall.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you,” Steve began. “You said if you weren’t downstairs by this time I should come up to get you?”

“Oh, right,” he nodded and yawned as he rubbed his face. “Sorry, no, yeah, let me get dressed and I’ll be down in a second.”

Steve nodded and headed back down the hall as Bruce closed the door. The Hulk went back to sleep and thankfully there was a pot of coffee waiting for him when he went down. Surprisingly though he didn’t really feel as though he needed it and only drank a few sips before abandoning it.

“Sleep well?” Natasha asked as she tied her hair back.

“Yeah, actually I did,” he said frowning a bit surprised. “How can you tell?”

“You look it,” she smiled. “First time you’ve come down completely dressed and alert without a full pot of coffee too.”

“Oh,” he said thinking about her words. He cleared his throat and rubbed at his neck. “Yeah…the big guy…is sort of still asleep…”

“Ah,” she nodded. “So he’s not a fan of mornings?”

“Maybe,” he shrugged.

“Good morning,” Thor said as he came in, more alert than usual. Still sleepy looking as if he’d just rolled out of bed and pulled on the first pieces of clothes he’d found on his floor, but much more awake.

“Morning,” they greeted.

“Will there be breakfast first or are we fasting until the meal?”

“Some people do, some people don’t, it’s up to you,” Natasha shrugged and drank her coffee.

“I shall eat a small something until my brothers come down,” he nodded. “Have you eaten, Banner?”

“Uh, no just had a little coffee,” he said.

“I shall make us something?”

“Uh, you don’t have too. I might have some toast. I’m not…really that hungry actually,” he frowned thinking about it. Normally he was ravenous in the mornings.

“Natasha?”

“I ate already,” she promised. “Phil made a coffee cake yesterday if you want some. The leftover sausage patties Steve made are in the fridge.”

“I want to die,” Darcy grumbled as she shuffled her feet into the kitchen, Jane right behind her, sleepy, but dressed and alert enough not to run into the island, which was more than what Darcy, was. She ran into it and fell over. Thankfully Bruce was right there and caught her.

“Thanks,” she said, but her voice lacked passion and it seemed as if she was functioning on autopilot, barely noticing she’d fallen or had run into anything.

“No problem,” he said and let her go quickly. She continued on in her slow manner toward the pantry.

“Thank you,” Jane sighed and rubbed her forehead. “She nearly broke her neck on the stairs.”

“I did not know you both were coming down, I’d have waited to escort you both,” Thor apologised.

“You don’t have to,” Jane promised. “I didn’t know we were coming until I heard Darcy run into the door. She insisted she had to be here so I followed her to make sure she was safe; good thing I did, huh?”

“Indeed,” Thor nodded. “Hungry?” he asked.

“Yes,” she said.

“Loki should be down soon,” Natasha said looking at the clock. “Good thing we made those pies yesterday.”

“Yeah,” Bruce nodded. “I can’t image you trying to get Darcy or Clint to peel them today.”

“No they’d be useless.” She looked at Jane. “You don’t have to, but are you helping?”

“I can lend a hand,” she nodded.

“Great, we’ll need it until Clint comes down.”

“I thought you said he would be down soon,” Thor frowned.

“I said Loki would.”

“And Clinton?”

Natasha laughed.

“What?”

“Clint won’t be down until _way_ later.”

“How do you know that?” Jane asked as she sat on the stool to the island. There was the sound of something falling and she popped off.

“I’ll get it,” Bruce promised and hurried in the direction Darcy had vanished.

“Because Clint hates mornings,” Natasha shrugged.

“He will come,” Thor nodded confidently as he began making Jane and himself breakfast.

“He won’t,” she said confidently.

“I bet he will,” Thor insisted.

“How much you have on you?”

Thor paused and pulled his wallet out to count. “I have three hundred on me in notes.”

“Bet you it all he won’t be down with Loki.”

“You’re on,” Thor grinned. “But he will be down. I have faith in his love for peeling things.”

Bruce returned with Darcy, who had a box of cereal in hand. He led her to the island and she heaved herself onto a stool and stared before her void of all her usual vivacious bubbly disposition. “Let me set this up,” he offered taking the box and went to get the rest of what she needed to eat.

“Banner, would you care to join our bet?” Thor inquired in good spirits.

“Uh, is it against Natasha?” he asked.

“Yes,”

“Then no,”

“You haven’t even heard it,” Thor laughed.

“I’m not much of a betting man,” he began and poured some cereal into the bowl. Darcy grabbed his wrist when he made to pull away and he added more until she let go.

“Very well. Jane?”

“Same,” she apologised.

“Darcy?”

“Popsicle,” she mumbled. Bruce handed her a spoon and she just sat there staring ahead of her holding it.

“Maybe next time,” Jane decided and nervously tucked her hair behind her ear.

“Very well,” he nodded. “Then it is just you and I,” he said to Natasha, growing a little more cocky with his confidence.

“Mhm,” she said not looking up from her screen as she checked her emails.

“He will be here,” Thor said with a nod and believed it to his core.

“Okay,” she said in a tone that suggested she was only humouring him in such a way because laughing aloud in his face was rude.


	56. Chapter 56

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone, thank you for your support and patience while my family and I deal with stuff right now. Mom is doing better after her surgery, I recovered really quickly from a bad bought of bronchitis, and although my sister's medical port isn't looking so great still [fun ER trip the other night] we're all getting our health back; slowly, but surely.
> 
> You all are super fantastic and I really appreciate the tumblr messages and comments. It helped me get through the worst of this storm. I wish you all the best, hope you all are doing amazing, and stay safe!
> 
> If there is anything that is out of sorts, concerning, or doesn't make sense please feel free to tell me and I'll fix it. I hope you all enjoy the chapter!

\----------------------56----------------------

Clint was rudely woken by a solid tiny fuzzy body landing on his face. He growled and turned over. Jareth mewed playfully and went to nuzzle him. “No,” he grumbled and pushed him away. Jareth meowed offended and ran at him, head-butting the side of his face annoyed at being denied attention. “JARETH!” he growled upset.

“Come here, love,” Loki said and scooped up the kitten to sooth and snuggle in his arms. Jareth meowed. “No love, daddy’s just terrible when it comes to mornings,” he said and nuzzled him, giving him kisses every so often. The kitten began purring and closed his eyes contently as he was snuggled and loved on in a manner that suited him.

Clint turned to face away from them and pulled his pillow over his head as he settled back to sleep.

“I guess this means you’re not going to come down and help?” Loki said neutrally.

Clint made a small growling noise.

“When should I fetch you then?”

Clint gave a short low growl.

Loki smiled and then leaned down to kiss the bit of his chin that wasn’t fully covered by pillow. “I’ll be back then. However, I can’t take the kittens and no one will be up stairs to watch them. You’ll have to manage on your own.”

Clint made a whining sound and lifted his head out from under the pillow.

“Don’t frown, love,” Loki gently reminded and ran his fingertips over Clint’s forehead to smooth it out. “Go back to sleep,” he said and leaned down to press another kiss to his face, this time on his cheek. Clint moved a little so their lips connected at the corner and he grabbed weakly at Loki’s shirt collar.

“Stay,” he whispered; his voice thick and rough from sleep.

“I’ll be back,” he promised and gave him another kiss. “Take Jareth and snuggle with him. I’m sure he’ll be sleepy in no time.”

Clint reluctantly let him go and found the little fuzz ball near his face again. This time the kitten turned around in a circle a few times and settled in the space between Clint’s head and where his hand had fallen. Jareth yawned and shook his head. Clint rubbed his body a little and the kitten purred contently, his tiny eyes fluttering closed.

“S’Ast?” Clint mumbled.

“By your other side,” he replied.

Clint made a noise and settled back down. Loki smiled fondly at the sight of them all and slipped out the door.

\-------------------------------------------------

“Pay up,” Natasha said holding out her hand toward Thor.

“I am displeased,” he said as he pulled out his wallet and gave over three hundred dollars in twenties to her.

She cackled and counted it before giving a few twenties to Loki.

“Brother?” Thor asked confused and didn’t hide how betrayed he felt seeing such a thing.

“I warned you to never bet against her,” he said and stowed the money away in his back pocket.

“So you bet against me?”

“I know how my Clinton works,” Loki explained kindly. “I didn’t bet against you or for her, I only used logic.”

“He seemed so keen on peeling for this holiday,” Thor said sadly.

“He is,” Natasha reassured. “He just hates mornings.”

“Man I should have stayed in bed then,” Darcy grumbled over her bowl of cereal, the life coming back to her little by little as she slowly woke up from her zombie like state.

“Then you’d miss tasting the goodies first,” Loki pointed out and rolled up his sleeves. “Now…potatoes first or should we start on the carrots?”

“I’d like to start by going back and placing a bet against Clint for some cash,” Darcy said.

“There will be others,” Natasha promised.

“Good, because mama needs funds for her scarf addiction.”

“Wait, you were upstairs when they made the bet,” Jane said to Loki. “How could you have picked a side?”

“I emailed him,” Natasha shrugged. “Asked if he wanted in and how much.”

“How do we know you didn’t just leave Clint up there asleep to win?”

Loki laughed. “I assure you our kittens even tried to wake him and only brought about his displeasure,” he sighed and washed his hands. “That man _hates_ mornings.”

“That’s why I threaten morning duty if he doesn’t behave,” Natasha added.

“I’d love being woken up by kittens,” Darcy mumbled to herself a little sadly as she stared into her bowl thinking about it.

“Jumping on your face?” Loki asked.

“Death by cat is my life goal,” she said firmly and glared at him. “I will accept nothing less than to be smothered and snuggled to death by them.”

“You’d love Asgardian cats then,” he chuckled.

“They are fiercely heavy,” Thor warned.

“Bring it on,” she whispered determinedly.

\-------------------------------------------------

Sam sat at his desk rubbing his face. He had been alone in the room for a while, at first just staring at the screens and then down at the wooden surface worrying his face with his hands and sighing heavily every so often. He had let Valerie go for the week, telling her to lay low until he called her in again. Something was up and he was hesitant to let her hang around and risk something happening to her. Yes that was a risk with joining up with S.H.I.E.L.D., but she wasn’t officially sworn into their secret group; she was still just a kid and not even a high enough level to have been working with him to begin with. What had they all be thinking?

He hadn’t really heard from Clay, hadn’t heard shit from Alisande or May, hadn’t really seen anything that could help them with their take-down of the Avengers, nor had he heard from Hill. He was supposed to be her Deputy Director and instead he felt as if he’d been demoted back to where he’d been after his partner had died. If it hadn’t been for Fury making a personal visit to his house, he wouldn’t have come back at all or considered taking the job when it was posted.

This wasn’t the way he had imagined things and it was starting to really frustrate him.

His phone rang. He saw the caller was unknown and he answered it.

“Hello?” he said softly.

“We found it,” Hill said.

“Madame Director?” he said perking up. Finally…

“We found a way to get to them.” She sounded relieved. “We need to contact one of our labs. The further the better, in case they follow or look for her. We’ll need a decoy ready and enough of that juice to take out the Hulk. I’m sending you the information. I want you back beside me in a day. Your assistant is being sent back to watch the place.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he nodded and accepted the file that was being sent to him. It started downloading.

“Oh, and Sam?”

“Yes, ma’am?”

“I need you to keep a strong stomach when you look at the pictures of the facility and remember who we work for and that this is for the greater good.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he promised, although the tone of her voice made him uneasy.

“See you in twenty-four hours.”

“Yes, ma’am, twenty-four hours,” he nodded again. She hung up and he started opening some of the files. He turned just in time to puke into the little trash bin beside him. Oh God…what sort of sick horrifying monster had he sold his soul too? Sam closed his eyes and tried to tell himself in the end all of this would stop. If they could just get what they needed and played along long enough all of this would end…

He hoped.

\-------------------------------------------------

Clint felt a hand on his shoulder and the smell of something sweet drifted to his nose. He shifted a little and then slowly opened his eyes. “Whashat?” he slurred.

“Sweet bread,” Loki said and rubbed his back. “I brought you breakfast. The kitchen is a nightmare right now.”

“It’s a holiday,” he said clearing his throat as he rolled onto his side. “I’d expect nothing less…” Loki smiled and continued to rub his side as he woke up. “What time is it?”

“A few hours before noon, but the sun is up, so I figured it was safe to wake you,”

He groaned and rubbed at his face. “Where are the kittens?”

“Eating,”

He sighed and sat up. “Bathroom,” he whispered and Loki moved so he could go to relieve himself. He splashed water on his face and shook himself before going back into the bedroom. Loki was sitting in one of the chairs, Ást stretching on his lap as he settled down with a fully belly. Jareth was prancing around the other chair, mewing excitedly when he saw Clint.

“Hey little man,” he said and picked him up. “Sorry about this morning.” Jareth meowed and rubbed against him, indicating all was forgiven so long as he continued to be loved. Clint sat and set the cat in his lap as he began eating. The bread was soft yet solid and not overly sweet. The sweetness mostly came from the sugary glaze poured over top of it’s flaky crust, and the top was dusted with chopped pecans. “What is this?”

“Just a simple bread with glaze and nuts. I’ve brought up some jams in case you’d like to add them.”

“Nah this is great on it’s own,” he replied.

“I’m happy you think so. We had so many extra pecans; we didn’t want to let them sit out.”

“No, this is good,” he reassured and then sniffed the air. “Is that baked apples I smell?”

“Yes and no,” Loki began and put a hand near his mug. “Natasha and I made apple tea this morning from some of the peelings.”

“Oh,” he said and felt his shoulders sag a bit.

“I’m sorry; I know you were hoping for something else,”

“It’s fine,” he promised and ate some of the scrambled eggs and bacon. “What’s in my mug?”

“Coffee with sugar and milk; just the way you like it,”

“I love you,” he smiled and leaned forward for a kiss. Loki gave him one and then sat back to watch him eat. “So it’s a nightmare huh?”

“Lots of people, lots of things happening,” Loki nodded and patted Ástnæmr. The cat closed his eyes and lifted his face a bit at the firm affectionate gesture.

“So we’re not needed?”

“I wouldn’t say that,” he said frowning at him.

“I mean,” he shrugged. “We could stay up here.”

“Clint,” he sighed and tried not to laugh.

“I’m not going to lie, I’m sore from yesterday,” he confessed.

“Did I hurt you?” he asked; his face dropping with his concern.

“No, no, no, not at all,” he quickly reassured. “Just…my thighs and of course, my ass is a little sore, but the ass part is normal,” he smiled at him.

“And your thighs?”

“I mean, it’s been a while since I’ve been in that position. The only way to ensure that they don’t hurt like this is to do it like that more often.”

Loki smirked and leaned back comfortably in his chair. “We’re both off tomorrow,” he pointed out.

Clint opened his mouth to say something and then thought about it. “No, you’re right tomorrow would be better. I always overeat during Thanksgiving, so tonight would just be risky.”

Loki chuckled.

Jareth reached up and slowly bit at a piece of Clint’s bacon. “Hey!” he said and pulled it away before gently patting him on the head in reprimand. “No!”

Jareth meowed sadly.

“I know love,” Loki said. “We’ll bring you a treat later. I promise.”

The kitten continued to rub against Clint and meow in a begging manner. Clint petted him occasionally, but ignored his adorable cries for food. When he was finished he sat back and nursed his coffee. Jareth stood on his back paws and looked at the plate for scrapes, but alas, there were none. He meowed annoyed and moved to Loki’s lap to see if he had anything.

“Later,” he reminded and booped him on the nose. Jareth meowed grumpily and jumped to the floor to stretch and then run around. “Are you still hungry?”

“No, I’m awake, full, and sexually frustrated,” he flashed him a small smile before drinking his coffee.

Loki chuckled. “Well I’m happy to be responsible for all three.” Clint hummed and leaned back a bit. “Including the sore ass and thighs.”

“Damn right you better be.” They both laughed. Clint held out his hand for the god and Loki rose, Ást bounding down to join Jareth in playing with a wad of paper, and sat in his lap. “Thank you,” Clint said and rested his head on Loki’s chest as he wound his arms around him.

“Not at all darling,” he smiled and played with his hair. Clint sighed contently and held him a little tighter. “Are you falling asleep?”

“No,” he mumbled.

Loki chuckled and shook his head; he was such a horrible liar. “But we can’t peel potatoes without you. Thor and Darcy have waited for hours to.”

“They can wait a few more,” he whispered, his arms going a little lax and his head drooping.

“You need sunlight,” Loki decided with a nod. “And fresh air.”

“I need you back in bed with me,”

“Perhaps we could take a nap together later, but now the day is older and food must be made,”

Clint sighed and lifted his head to look up at him. “You’re so beautiful…”

Loki blushed and shyly turned his face away. “That’s not going to get you out of work.”

“I don’t want it to,” he said and pulled Loki closer. “I just want to remind you often, because you should be aware of it.”

“I am aware you think so,” he said brushing the archer’s fringe back from his face.

“You should think it too…” he said and pressed a kiss to the god’s chest before resting his head there.

“One day,” he said softly and bent to kiss the top of his head. “Now,” he said rising and was surprised Clint released him willingly, “to finish so that we may eat and return to bed.”

“That’s the mind-set,” Clint beamed, rubbing his hands together as he stood. “Regular clothes?”

“Yes,” Loki nodded. “We wouldn’t want the nicer ones to become dirty before dinner.”

“I’ll be along shortly,” Clint said heading toward the closet.

“Perfect,” Loki said sitting on the arm of his chair as he crossed his arms and waited.

“You don’t have to wait,” Clint added.

“I know,” he replied flatly.

They stared at one another for a few minutes.

“What?” the archer asked innocently.

“Nothing, I’m just waiting,”

“You don’t have to wait,”

Loki flared his nostrils and gave him a firm look. “I know better.”

“What?”

“Clint, just get dressed.”

He sighed and did as he was bid. “I wouldn’t have gone to sleep,” he said with a slight pout as he re-entered to put his shoes on.

“But you would have lain back down,” Loki pointed out.

“Don’t you trust me?”

“I do, but I also know how you work,” he smiled and stood, stacking their things on the tray before taking it up. “One day, my love, we shall celebrate this occasion in our own way.”

“I like the sound of that,” he grinned and followed him out, trying to grab at him. He caught him in the hallway, his arm snaking around Loki’s waist. He pulled him flush against his front as he dragged him back toward a wall.

“Clint!” he hissed, giggling as he followed him willingly.

“I want proper kisses,” he whispered in his ear. “I can’t kiss you downstairs all I want, so I want to now.”

“You’re like a youth in spring,” he teased, but turned his face and offered his mouth for Clint’s taking. They both hummed and Clint’s arms tightened a little as he held Loki up; the god melting a bit and sagging in his arms as the kisses stole his thoughts away. They always made his body tingle in the most pleasant of ways and his mind was foggy in a dreamy sort of manner.

“Let’s skip,” Clint whispered, gently rubbing his nose against Loki’s

“It would be rude,” he said softly.

“How?” he grunted.

“We can’t abandon the others. I’ve seen the mess down there.”

“Nah…they’ll be fine,” he mumbled and pressed a sweet kiss to Loki’s cheek, loving the way the god’s eyes slowly fluttered closed and his breathing deepened.

“We can’t leave our friends,” he pointed out and tried moving out of his arms before his heartbeat betrayed his desires. “Isn’t this the time of year to celebrate family and love?”

Clint made an annoyed growl and kissed at the side of the god’s face.

“What is it, love?” he asked concerned, pulling his face back to look at him.

“I don’t want to deal with them,” he confessed.

“I know you can’t mean everyone.” He thought about it for a moment. “Is it Miss Foster and her friends?”

“I don’t like them,” he said softly with a sigh and held Loki tighter.

“Clint,” he said gently and moved the tray to balance on one hand as he patted Clint’s arms and laid his head on his shoulder. “You’re friends with Selvig I –”

“I worked with him to oversee a project,” he said clearly, pointedly, and flatly in a very firm and unhappy manner. “We’re _not_ friends. Not after the looks he’s been giving you and this shit he’s been starting.”

“Could you blame him?” he asked softly with a wince.

Clint gave a stubborn, “yes,” in reply.

“What about the others?” he asked gently, trying to reason with him.

“Not my friends. One slapped you and never apologised, the other flirted and then…dumped it. Also she’s far too nosy.”

“The slap was well deserved,”

“No one deserves to be slapped unless they fall under a few categories,” he said raising a hand to count. “One: They don’t know who Bill Murray is. Two: They don’t like cats without a good reason. Three: They hate chocolate, cheese, tacos, Chinese, or classical music. Four: They’re Stark and they just made a stupid comment. And Five: Natasha says so.”

“Natasha has slapped me,”

“Yeah, but she didn’t deem that to be an appropriate moment when Jane did it,”

“It was rather daring of her,” Loki said a bit impressed, remembering the fire and passion Jane had displayed in her slap.

“Don’t commend her for hurting you,” Clint begged softly and brought his hand up to gently cup Loki’s face. He ran his thumb over his cheekbone as he tilted his face to look at him. “You don’t deserve people’s scorn and assaults.”

“I can’t control what people think of me,” Loki pointed out. “But Darcy has been open and friendly towards us.” Clint made grumbly noises. “Oh stop being so stubborn. She’s been nothing but helpful when it comes to watching the kittens, she did a lot yesterday to help prepare for today, and she was even there to see us exchange betrothal tokens. And I should mention _she_ was up before the sun,” he added. “She hates it just as much as you.”

“Fine,” he sighed heavily. “I don’t want to deal with our two guests and the one sort of…maybe friend.”

Loki rolled his eyes. “Well if you’re going to be like this, I think I’ll forgo giving you any more kisses,” he said as he made to stand straight.

“No,” Clint hurried to grab at him back. “Kiss,” he demanded with a frowny pout.

“No kisses for grumpy people,” Loki frowny pouted back at him.

Clint pursed his lips but Loki wouldn’t give in. “Fine then,” he said and started pressing sloppy loud kisses to his face.

“Clint!” Loki cried out laughing and used some of his magic to suspend the tray as he freed his hands up to hold the archer at bay.

“Give me a kiss!” he demanded in his pouty childish tone.

“Are you going to stop being a grump and come down to help?”

“I love you,” Clint whispered as he paused to stare at Loki’s serene expression. His face was relaxed and turned up toward him, his lips slightly parted as tiny excited breaths escaped from them. He could feel his heartbeat pounding and in his mind he knew how truly happy Loki was.

Loki licked his lips. “And I you,” he replied, his cheeks heating up at the look on Clint’s face. The archer brought his face down and rested their foreheads together for a few moments, both of them just breathing and enjoying the closeness of the other. He loved moments like this and he knew Loki did as well.

Clint went to open his mouth to say something when he felt eyes on them. He lifted his head and looked around. He found Selvig standing at the top of the stairs, darkly glaring at them. He glared back at him.

Loki quickly took the tray and moved out of Clint’s arms. “Good morning Dr. Selvig,” he said politely, not daring to look directly at him.

He didn’t spare the god a glance. He turned away from them and continued into the other wing of the house.

Loki let out a slow sigh and started for the stairs. Clint hurried after him. He caught him at the bottom before he could enter the kitchen.

“To hold me off for a while,” Clint explained as he gently held Loki’s face in his hands. They exchanged one long good kiss. It made Clint feel complete and ready to take on anything, and Loki felt loved in a way he never had before. “Alright, bring it on holiday,” Clint whispered and charged in. Loki laughed and followed him in.

The kitchen, as Loki had already warned, _was_ a nightmare. He hurried to the sink to put the dishes away while Clint stood there staring at the chaos. Almost everyone was in the room working on something. Darcy and Thor were at the stove reading the instructions from the back of a package, muttering over something; Fury and Phil were opening and straining cans of corn; Natasha was mixing something in a large baking dish; and Steve and Bruce were debating on stuffing the turkeys or keeping it off to the side. Jane came around the corner with her arms full of cans.

“More corn,” she said passing a few off to Phil. She stopped next to Bruce; “Cranberries,” she said to herself and set two cans down and then went to Natasha. “All the green beans and cream of mushroom soups we have.”

“Thank you,” she said and set the dish aside. “Top it,” she called.

Thor turned and looked around the island for a moment before he spotted what he was looking for. He grabbed the French onion strings and poured some over the dish. “Oven?” he asked.

“Yes,” she nodded and started working on another dish.

“How is it we have this many dishes, bowls, and pots and pans?” Clint asked looking for a knife.

“Stark’s great at planning ahead sometimes,” Natasha said as she opened the snap top cans.

“Okay, where are they?” he asked turning around and gently inspected the edge of the blade with his thumb. If he were to have pressed harder he would have cut himself; perfect.

“Near the table, behind Fury,” Natasha pointed, not needing clarification on what ‘they’ were.

“Here, trade me gods!” Darcy said and moved over to make a space for Loki. “Is this thick enough?” she asked holding up the spoon.

Loki stepped up to help her. Thor took up a knife and went with Clint get a good start on the potatoes.

“Carrots too?” Clint asked when he noticed some laying around.

“Yes,” Loki and Natasha answered.

\-------------------------------------------------

It seemed like time flew by and before they knew it everything was done. Natasha put the rolls into the oven as Steve set one of the turkeys to rest.

“Where is the other?” Darcy asked.

“Down in the lab,” Steve said. “There is a kitchen down there. We used it so this oven would be free for you all.

“That’s…considerate and frightening,” she nodded. “I’ve always wanted radioactive laboratory Frankenstein turkey.”

“It’s not radioactive,” Bruce said coming in, wiping his hands on a towel. “If anything it’ll be a little dusty, because Stark doesn’t cook.”

“Y’know what else he doesn’t do? Steal people’s screwdrivers,” she muttered to herself darkly.

“Okay, everyone get out!” Natasha sighed as she waved them away. “Go on! Get cleaned up, get dressed, and come back down.”

Darcy and Clint raced from the room as everyone else finished up their work and took their time.

When Loki got to the room he found Clint lying face down on the bed. “Clinton! Honestly!?” he sighed.

He groaned and said something incomprehensible.

“Up,” he said shortly as he removed his shoes and went to the bathroom. He started the water and had just pulled his shirt off when Clint scrambled to the door, his top already off and pants nearly there. “Don’t try anything,” Loki warned pulling his pants off.

Clint snorted at him and finished stripping. Loki set his socks in the hamper under his clothes and got into the shower. Clint left his mess on the floor.

It took longer to get ready than Loki had wanted it to; Clint kept sneakily putting his hands all over him, kissing him, and trying to entice him. It was so hard to resist him, but several dozen kisses, lots of heated promises, and the help of cooler water temperature got them cleaned up.

“You better keep your word,” Clint warned as he wrapped a towel around his waist.

“When have I not been good for such?” Loki asked squeezing his hair out in the sink.

“I’m just saying…” he said and clapped Loki’s still bare ass hard with one hand. “Yeah…” he smiled very pleased with himself.

Loki just rolled his eyes and got himself a new towel, since Clint had so generously stolen his. Honestly if he didn’t love him so much…

He gently dried his hair with the blow-dryer on a low heat setting and went to get dressed. Clint had at least put on underpants and dried off some before face planting back into the bed. “Clinton, please,” he sighed.

Clint grumbled but got up and made for the closet. Loki followed, this time slapping Clint’s ass when he bent over to get some socks. “Oh baby…” he groaned and smirked up at the god.

Loki just smiled and started dressing. He fixed his collar in the mirror and smoothed out the shoulders of his pale green button up shirt before running his hands over the front of the charcoal vest he had picked out. He exhaled nervously and shook his hands out a little.

“What?” Clint asked, tucking his shirt tail into his pants properly before doing them up.

“Nothing,” he took another calming breath. “Do…do you think…never mind,” he sighed and rolled the sleeves up to his elbows before selecting a sweater to put on. He picked a lightly knitted black one. It had two large buttons on the front and a beautiful display of cables. He rather liked it and had wanted to wear it for a while.

“Tell me,” he begged as he pulled his dress socks on.

“Down, pony tail, or braid?” Loki asked messing with his hair.

“Braid,” he said. “What’s wrong?”

Loki quickly braided his hair. “I…what if they…it’s stupid…” he decided shaking his head.

“Why is there a giant loaf of bread in my mind?” Clint mused and turned the god toward him so that he could pull a few strands out near the front of his ears and the shorter bits around his forehead to help frame his face.

“I do not enjoy being the centre of attention,” Loki replied and tied off the end of his braid.

“Really?” he raised his brows feigning shock and fiddled with how the god’s dooblydoos framed his face.

Loki gave him a look and then continued, “And I feel responsible and…awful for causing the…war that is surely to erupt downstairs this evening.”

“War? Better bring my arrows,”

“Clint,” he sighed.

“Maybe I’ll make a friend?” He watched as Loki fought not to laugh at their little joke. “Do you feel better?”

He nodded chuckling a bit, “an ounce.”

“Only one? I better warm myself up a bit,” he smiled at him and gave him a kiss.

Loki gripped Clint’s shirt collar and fixed it before letting them separate. “I think the…sweater vest suits you,” he complimented, licking his lips a bit.

“Yeah?” he looked down and pulled at the bottom of it, giving the argyle black and grey pattern an appreciative glance. “Even with the tiny bit of purple in it that doesn’t match my shirt?” he pulled at the sleeves of his dress shirt.

“Yes,” he chuckled and held Clint’s dark plum shirt sleeve against the brighter small lines of purple in the knitted pattern. “It looks perfectly acceptable.”

“I love you,” he said leaning up to kiss him again.

“I love you as well,” he whispered, so impossibly grateful for his understanding.

“It’ll be fine,”

Loki snorted and turned back to the mirror. “And you wanted to skip the day,” he muttered and fiddled with his collar and sweater a little more.

“I’m still all for it,” he replied checking his own hair out and smoothed his facial hair a bit more. “I’m for anything that keeps you naked and in bed with me.”

Loki blushed proudly and glanced at him in the reflection of the mirror. He turned and twisted Clint’s necklace so it was facing the right way. “This especially looks good on you.”

“Yeah? I can’t wait to admire you only wearing yours,” he flirted back.

“I was only wearing it yesterday,” Loki reminded, leaning in, his voice dipped into a warm rich tone. “That and the blindfold.”

“Yeah, but I was too excited to properly admire it,” he countered getting a little closer as well. “I was focusing more on how delicious it was to have you inside me.”

Loki felt himself heat up at the reminder. They both smiled and kissed one another.

Clint hummed. “I’m getting you a tie.”

“Yeah?” he asked softly.

“Yeah,” he said and gently grabbed the front halves of his sweater to set them how he wanted them to lay. “I want you in a suit with it so I can yank you close by it and kiss you senseless.”

Loki chuckled and kissed him again. They only let themselves linger for a brief second more before instructing JARVIS to leave the lights on. They called promises to the kittens as they slipped out the door and headed down.

“Hey,” Clint said as he took Loki’s hand.

“Hm?”

“It’ll be okay,” he promised. “And like you said, one day we’ll be doing this our way.”

“Yes, sleeping the day away,” he chuckled.

“Nah, I was thinking eating mash potatoes from off your body, but,” he shrugged.

“Oh Clinton,” he frowned unamused.

Clint just laughed. “You _love_ me,” he teased.

“I do,” he agreed and paused before the archway to give him one last kiss. _Which is why I will let you do it,_ a victorious smirk spread across his face.

Clint’s surprised laugh turned into a deep groan and he followed Loki into the formal dining room.

\-------------------------------------------------

“So how is the seating working?” Darcy asked looking at the large round table with many chairs. It had been set up in the unused formal dining room across the way from the kitchen. It would comfortably sit all of them and then a few extra if they had it. The ceiling was high and with the exception of the modern table, the room looked as though it should have been in some romantic drama period piece. Darcy was doing her best to take advantage of the atmosphere before she was told off and had to be serious.

“The head chair remains empty as well as the one next to it. It honours that Stark and Pepper are not here physically, yet we still think and celebrate our friendship and them as members of this family,” Thor explained as he set another plate down. Darcy pretended to fan herself and sat dramatically in one of the sofas along the wall.

“Ahuh,” she nodded still listening and started getting up to do another pose on the next one.

“From there, guests would sit from the right of the head and down: the oldest, or more experienced in their field, to the least,” Banner added in. “But since we have guests you all will be factored in accordingly. Thor and Loki have set it all up.”

“Great,” she puffed and sat up suddenly when she heard Jane’s voice in the hall. She patted her thighs nervously. “Who am I going to be sitting next to?”

“Myself,” Thor said.

“Oh,” she smiled and brightened up to the same level of her brilliant yellow and white daisy floral dress.

“No, Fury and Phil are joining us tonight,” Steve reminded.

“Ah yes, my apologises. Fury will be next to you,” Thor corrected. Darcy deflated a bit. “And then Phil next to him, myself, Loki, Clint, Natasha, Steve, and lastly Bruce.”

“There are thirteen chairs,” she said superstitiously. “I’m gonna need a seatbelt so I don’t accidentally spring up from my chair.”

Thor gave her a curious and confused look.

“There won’t be thirteen people,” Bruce said. “No worries about the tale. Even if Tony and Pepper were here, Rhodes would have shown up to make fourteen.”

“Who’s that?”

“Tony’s friend,”

“I thought you were his friend,”

“I am,”

“Tony Stark can’t have two friends. That’s like Shaggy deciding to ditch Scooby and become bros five-ever with Velma.”

Banner gave a small laugh and pushed his glasses up. “Colonel Rhodes is his machinery loving military friend; I am his science-mathematics friend.”

“And what, Steve is his morally-correct friend?”

Steve and Bruce looked at each other before nodding in agreemtn. “Yeah,” the scientist said.

“That’s about right,” Steve added.

“And Natasha?”

“Stark and I are not friends. I tolerate him,” she said quickly as she entered the room with a massive basket of bread.

“Then what about him and Loki?” Darcy asked.

“I’d imagine they are friends who encourage mischievous behaviour out of one another,” she smiled at the girl as she set the basket in the centre of the table.

“Some friend,” Selvig mumbled as he stood by the door, his chin tilted up as Jane fixed his tie.

Natasha paused and turned to him, giving him a tight smile before walking past him.

Jane shook herself and looked away, unnerved by her look. When she had pictured reuniting with Thor this wasn’t what she had in mind. It was full of kisses, adventures, and science and other sappy unrealistic things. This was too full of defensive passive and openly aggressive retorts she knew they’d all had thought up weeks ago in advance. The fact that they had been preparing for this reaction from Selvig and sort of from her her made her feel ashamed and offended that they judged her to be that kind of person. But wasn’t she? She was basically proving them right in the way she was certain Darcy was proving them wrong without even trying.

“Jarvis?” Steve called as he headed for the kitchen.

“Yes, sir?”

“Please inform everyone that dinner will be ready soon,”

“Yes, sir.”

“Please,” Bruce said gesturing to the two chairs the ladies were to be seated at. Darcy sat with his aid.

Jane gave Selvig a hard look as she turned down his collar. “Please be nice,” she whispered. He opened his mouth to argue but she held up a hand. “For me,” she begged. He closed his mouth and nodded his head stiffly.

Thor pulled Bruce aside. “What is The Tale of Thirteen Chairs?”

Bruce shook his head. “It’s a superstitious thing some people believe. If there are thirteen people seated at a table, the first one up will die before the others.”

“Oh,” he frowned thoughtfully. “What an odd number to choose.”

“It’s also a religious thing; the number is seen as an ill omen because of an event that happened on Friday the thirteenth. I’ll explain more of it later,” he promised.

“For the best,” Thor agreed. “Now is the time for merriment!” he cheered with a smile.

“Oh man!” Darcy pouted as she saw Clint and Loki come in.

“What?” Clint asked looking down at himself and then around. “I thought it was a holiday? Did we miss it?”

“No, it is,” Natasha confirmed and came over to pick a piece of lint off of his clothes.

“Oh good,” he sighed. “I knew we hadn’t been _that_ long. So what’s the problem?”

“She mentioned earlier how she hoped you’d bring the cats down.”

Clint’s eyes widened and he snapped his face to look at Loki. “We could have gotten them tiny bowties!”

The god laughed. “They haven’t even worn their own collars yet.”

“But tiny kitten bowtie?” he pleaded making the comedic frowny face he did whenever he wanted something.

“We’ll discuss it later,” he promised with a smile.

“Now when you say discuss–ow!” he hissed when Natasha warningly pinched his chest as she pretended to pull another fuzzy bit off his front.

“We have guests,” she whispered and inclined her heard toward where Jane and Selvig were sitting.

“Sorry,” he swallowed and straightened up before giving her a good look over. “Wow! Looks like someone’s getting lai–”

“Looks like what, Clinton?” Loki warned when he heard the thought before the archer could speak it aloud.

Barton promptly closed his mouth with a fast glance at Selvig and then took the female assassin’s hand. “You should spin for us!” he covered as smoothly as he could; his tone suggested that this course was the most appropriate.

She smiled and turned slowly, letting her sleek black dress speak for itself. It hugged her body perfectly, coming to just a little above her knees in the sophisticated pencil lined form. The top part was a little baggy, the neck line staying up at the base of her throat and opened along on either side of her shoulder in a slit to show off the tops. The sleeves were batwing, the tighter part of it stopping at her elbows and the rest billowing down. She had a red braided leather belt with yellow gold studs and shoes that matched perfectly.

“Like what you see?” she smirked knowingly, and winked at him over her shoulder.

“If I wasn’t already taken…” he exhaled with a smile and looked at Steve. “Then again, watch out!” He whistled and looked him up and down.

The soldier laughed and smoothed his hair a bit before nervously tugging at the bottom of his military uniform. “Yeah, like Loki’ll let that happen,” he muttered and cleared his throat as he looked at his lady with shy admiration.

“I’m not sure,” the god said shaking his head as he also looked Steve up and down and then at Natasha. “I might have to throw my glove into this fight.”

“Just tell me I’m pretty and cut it out,” she demanded a bit impatiently.

“You’re pretty,” Clint told her.

“Very radiant,” Loki agreed.

“And I mean Natasha looks really good too,” Clint added as a joke.

She smiled and gently swatted his shoulder. “You both don’t look too bad yourselves,” she turned and went to her man. He whispered something to her that made her eyes flash with something for a moment before she let him help her into her chair.

“Now what’s the deal with the setting?” Selvig asked Bruce, gesturing to the fact that a few shared plates and the rest didn’t.

“Asgardian tradition. Very tightly formed couples share a plate,” he explained.

“Oh,” he looked around and realised that only the soldier and spy, and the god and archer would be practicing such a tradition. “Oh…” he said his voice weighting down a bit.

“Yeah, that’s right! Since Loki and Clint made it official yesterday, they can do that,” Darcy beamed happily. “Jane I wish you could have been there. It was so cute!”

“I’m sure it was,” she replied with a kind smile. “The necklaces suit you both,” she added down towards them. They both mumbled their thanks.

Selvig made a small noise to indicate his displeasure. Loki ignored it and helped Clint into his seat before taking his own next to Thor. “Your shirt looks nice,” he commented nicely to his brother.

“Thank you,” Thor smiled and pulled at the bright sapphire fabric under his own dark grey cardigan. “I was worried without a…Midgardian styled overcoat I would be underdressed.”

“The tie and sweater makes up for it,” Loki assured. Thor nodded and gave a grateful sigh as he ran a hand down his front to smooth out the neat black tie.

“A moment for people to do their religious rights if they feel inclined?” Steve suggested.

“Yes,” several of them answered.

Loki and Thor pulled out their clay necklaces, holding them as they silently and respectfully thanked the Norns and the Guardians of Midgard for their feast; Steve and Phil prayed to their God; Natasha and Clint had a staring contest, that Clint lost when he sneezed; Jane and Selvig kept their heads down and stared at their plates; Bruce quietly mediated; and Darcy looked Fury over curiously. The master spy could feel her gaze yet didn’t feel like turning his head enough to look at her.

When everyone had finished they sat and waited patiently for the rest. Steve saw the two gods resurface and gestured with a hand and a small smile. “Those who want light meat send up your plate.”

Everyone began passing dishes and chatted. Thor frowned as he passed the potatoes to Phil and then looked at Loki. “Why haven’t you taken the bread around?” he asked in a low tone.

Loki leaned into him. “I feel it best if you do it today. I desire to not cultivate any more ill feelings at this table today. It is an American-Midgardian celebration of family and friends, not enemies and…their friend’s friends.”

Thor wanted to argue but kept silent, nodding instead and then rose, taking up the basket and offered it first to Natasha and then went around offering Jane and Darcy next. He then presented the basket to Steve, Selvig, Fury, Phil, Bruce, Clint, and finally Loki and himself.

“Is this an Asgardian tradition?” Darcy asked buttering her roll.

“Yes,” Thor smiled. “How did you guess?”

“There seemed to be a specific system that didn’t follow the seating chart, and no one reached for the rolls first, they seemed to be off limits in that huge basket in the middle.” She plopped a giant spoonful of green bean casserole onto her plate. “In my house the turkey was in the middle of the table. Things there often are important, y’know?”

“Yes,” he nodded. “At Volstagg’s when we feast without his children, a casket of ale is often in the centre of the table.”

“Don’t worry about how much you take, we’ve made plenty; so if you have an Asgardian sized appetite or not, don’t be shy about filling yourself,” Natasha reminded.

“Even Jötunn?” Selvig muttered bitterly as he mixed his potatoes and gravy. The two gods froze: Thor nervously with a touch of discomfort at such a blatantly sharp comment during a special day, and Loki just to indicate that he’d heard. He kept his face neutral as he stared at salt shaker in front of him for a few moments and then returned to the plate he was currently cutting his and Clint’s meat upon. He swallowed and set the knife down quietly before pushing the cut pieces toward Clint’s side.

“Yes,” said Natasha, leaning forward to stare intimidatingly at the doctor. “Yes, Dr. Selvig; even Jötunns who make fantastic desserts and mashed potatoes.” Her face and tone held a little bit of a condescending value which suggested silently that if such a comment was uttered again she wouldn’t hesitate kicking that person’s ass.

He stopped chewing his mouthful of potatoes and held her gaze. She took a giant forkful of her potatoes and ate them. He looked down at his plate and then set his utensil aside as he tried discreetly to spit it out.

“And assisted with the gravy,” Darcy added. “From a jar is easy, you just throw it in a bowl and heat it up, but he helped me make the traditional kind. It was fun.”

“It was mostly you and Thor,” Loki reminded modestly.

“Well regardless, it’s delicious,” Jane added.

Loki looked her over for a moment to gauge if she was being sincere and then nodded his head briefly to indicate his thanks for her comment.

“They’re really good, love,” Clint said giving his cheek a quick kiss. “Great job.”

“Thank you,” he whispered and went back to picking at his food.

Clint smiled and nudged him a bit. “We’ll be eating this stuff until after New Year’s,” he joked.

“We should take some for the kittens,” he commented. “They’ll enjoy the turkey and the carrots.”

“Are cats allowed to eat those things?” Phil asked.

“If they are baked,” the god replied. “These were only baked in butter and water, yes?”

“Steamed,” Fury explained. “They’ve got a little ginger.”                           

“How much?”

“Just a touch, nothing too much.”

“They should be fine,” Loki promised. “In fact, it may help with Ást’s sensitive digestive system.”

“What else can cats eat that’s not cat food?” Darcy asked curiously.

Loki smirked and felt a little weight come off of his shoulders. “Cats are hunters; their form of food belongs to the prey family smaller than they are. Our cats, in the wild, would dine on rodents, moles, smaller birds, and a little vegetation. Most of their plant needs they obtain from eating all of their prey; however, if they have a deficiency, they’ll eat grass or leaves of certain plants.”

“Our babies need more calcium and vitamin…E was it?” Clint added.

“B,” Loki corrected.

“Right,” he nodded. “So we’re going to mix in extra bones and broccoli and squash and stuff with their food as needed.”

“You’re going to make it?” Jane asked.

“Yes,” they both replied.

“That’s so boss,” Darcy smiled and shook her head. “When are they going to be free to roam the house?”

“It’s been enough time,” Loki considered it. “They seem highly comfortable in the room and I’d say their stay with Bruce yesterday was successful.”

“You steal screwdrivers and people’s cat-sitting dreams?” she asked Bruce unhappily.

“Uh,” he said awkwardly not certain how to respond to such accusations.

“We’ll have to section off certain areas and keep a close watch on them for a little bit,” Loki continued his thoughts aloud.

“I guess if no one minds we could try widening their territory tomorrow?” Clint offered.

“It would probably be best if we introduce them to people one or two at a time,” Loki suggested. “But, we could try tomorrow.”

Clint nodded. “So after dinner, if you haven’t died from a food coma, you can stop on by and meet them for a bit if you want.”

“May I?” Thor asked excitedly.

His sudden outburst of joy startled Loki who stared at him for moment. It made some of the others laugh and Loki’s brain kicked back into gear after a moment. “Yes,” Loki said and cleared his throat. “If you want.”

“Most excellent,” Thor nodded satisfied.

“I had no idea you were so keen to meet them,” Loki added softly.

“It has been a great many years since I have seen one. Remember the one we had?” he laughed and nudged his brother’s arm.

“Mother was so upset,” he laughed quietly. “We snuck it in from outside. We got fleas all in our room; it tore up her favourite seat; peed on an expensive family rug; it was a mess.”

Everyone chuckled. Selvig remained quiet, but Clint could tell that the exchange between the two gods had softened his expression, even if it was still hard, it was at least a little curious now and less ready to jump across the way and stab someone.

“Excuse me for interrupting your meal,” JARVIS politely cut in, “However there is a video message for you all from Malibu.”

“Tony,” Bruce explained covering his mouth as he hurried to chew and swallow his food. “We’ll see it Jarvis, thank you.”

“As you wish,”

Several lights projected down from the ceiling and a 360 screen of Tony and Pepper at a small table outside in the sun and shine with cocktails appeared.

“Tony!” the Avengers plus two cried happily.

“Hey!” he smiled and gave a small wave. Bruce could tell he was still suffering night terrors, but he looked better. “Look who’s here.”

“Hi,” Pepper smiled and waved.

“And Rhodey,”

“Hello,” Rhodes smiled popping into the picture quickly and then out again.

“What are you doing?” Clint asked.

“Grilling dogs, what does it look like?”

“Don’t worry, they’re turkey to honour the season,” Pepper said quickly.

“We’re also drinking cranberry and vodka to honour the season,” he smiled and held up a glass to them. “To the Avengers!”

“To the Avengers!” they said picking up their glasses and toasted, reaching to tap glasses.

“To Phil’s hair! May it stay on his head!”

“To Phil!” they laughed.

“Thanks guys,” Phil muttered and raised his own glass. “Same to yours, Mr. Stark.”

“Thanks,” he chuckled and then toasted his glass once more. “To Fury’s eye patch: May it forever successfully intimidate others.”

“That’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me,” he pointed out and dramatically set a hand to his heart to show how touched he was.

“Eh it’s the sun. It’s getting to me, or the fact I downed a bottle of Whiskey before I called you all. Regardless! To us!”

“To us!” they cheered and tapped glasses again before finally drinking.

“Hey! There are more people,” Pepper frowned leaning forward to look at the others. “Who are they?”

“These are Thor’s guests,” Bruce began. “You already know Dr. Selvig, this is Dr. Foster, and her assistant Miss Lewis.”

“Oh! The ones James saved!” she said recalling. “Hello! Happy Holidays!”

“Hi!” Tony waved. “Sorry for not being there to properly greet you all. I hope you find your stay nice. Remember we keep a spray bottle on top of the fridge for those that misbehave.”

“We only keep that because of you,” said Pepper looking at him as she drank from her glass.

Tony shot her a glare and then turned his attention back to the screen. “So what’s new?”

“Bruce broke the jet,” Natasha and Clint said quickly.

“What?”

Bruce glared at them and then held up his hands turning to Tony. “I fixed it!” he said quickly. “They pushed a button and it wouldn’t work and the other guy was – it’s fixed!” he insisted.

“There are little ones now,” Thor added to try and steer the conversation away from the scientist.

“What? Who’s pregnant?” Pepper piped up quickly and looked around.

“No, not pregnant,” Steve laughed and waved a hand. “Adopted. Clint and Loki adopted cats.”

“Let me see!” Tony demanded coming super close to the screen. His face filled the frame as he looked around. “I don’t see any.”

“They aren’t here,” Loki explained. “We shall have to make a date for you to see them later.”

“Oh man,” he sighed and went to sit back down sadly.

“The wait is worth it,” Natasha assured. “They’re adorable.”

“Of course they are! They’re cats. The only thing cuter than a cat is Pepper.”

“Aw, honey,” she smiled and patted his hand.

“And myself,” he added in a slightly softer tone. The red-head just laughed.

“What about me?” Rhodes asked from outside of the frame.

“Yeah I’m sure someone thinks so.”

“Thanks Tony,”

“Y’know there was that one time, fun story, spring break –”

“Tony,” he warned.

“1987, there was this lovely lady he was sweet talking.”

“Tony, I will put your face in this grill.”

“What was his name Rhodey? Ivan?”

“Come here!” he hissed and pulled Tony out of camera shot. Pepper shouted and put up her legs and hands defensively as a giant splash sounded and water jumped up onto the deck.

“Boys!” she shouted. “We’re not done and they’re waiting to finish eating.”

 “Help!” Tony’s voice coughed as more splashing happened. “Pepper, remember you get everything but the porn! It goes to Brucy!”

Bruce covered his face with his hands, completely mortified, and then looked back at the screen. “If he doesn’t kill you, I will when you get back,” he muttered.

“I thought we were friends!” he cried dramatically as an outstretched hand appeared in the corner of the screen. “Ow! Rhodey no! Not my nipples! AH! CHEATER! _Oh!_ ” his tone suddenly changed to one of sexual interest and then he laughed.

Rhoney pushed himself out of the pool and shook his head. “No man, just…no. We’ve had to do a lot of things, but that’s one we can’t.”

“This is the 21st century,” he said enticingly.

“Be that as it may, I have nothing against it; it’s just not my thing. Also, I know where you’ve been.”

“So has Pepper and she’s been all up– oh shit!” he cried as Pepper jumped into the pool and tackled Tony. “Oh god! NO!” he coughed and splashed. “MERCY! I TAKE IT BACK!” There was a gargling sound and then silence.

Pepper came out of the pool and wrapped herself in a towel, sitting gracefully in her chair with a smile. “So how are things?”

“Nice,” Natasha answered as the rest chuckled over their antics and the three guests wondered what the hell was wrong with them all. “It’s a holiday season so a little more than usual with the crime. Nothing we can’t handle.”

“Good,” she nodded with a smile. “Any news on the…uh other things?”

“No,” Fury answered. “Nothing yet. We’ll keep you updated.”

“Okay,” she sighed and relaxed a bit. “We won’t keep you long. We just wanted to make sure you all were enjoying yourselves and that nothing had burned down.”

“Only the lab,” Bruce joked.

“What!?” Tony shot into view.

Everyone laughed. Banner waved a hand. “I’m joking.”

“Oh my poor ARC reactor,” he huffed and gripped his chest as he stumbled a bit overly dramatic. “I was about to disconnect it. I saw the end of the tunnel and went, ‘well I mean Hell can’t be that bad right?’ Right.” Pepper glared at him and he just leaned forward and shook his hair out at her. She yelped and laughed holding her hands up. He chuckled and smoothed his hair back. “So any games to play this evening?”

“Stuff yourself into a coma?” Clint answered with half his mouth full.

“Haven’t you had enough comas this year?”

The archer shrugged and went back to eating.

“I’ve got one,” Rhodey offered.

“I’m not being a look out again,” Tony warned. “Ivan was –” there was a noise as a steaming hotdog shot across the screen and hit Tony’s chest. He sat and stared at Rhodes, blinking several times before he held out his hands in a surrendering gesture, indicating he was done teasing him and he could continue.

“So my family used to play this, y’know? We didn’t have a whole lot when I was younger. It’s called ‘I am thankful’. The rules are: everyone makes a list, they go around and read what they’re grateful for, either all at once or taking turns.”

“We played a similar game,” Phil said. “We did it at Christmas though. From the first of December until Christmas, we’d write little notes about people: what we liked about them, lessons they taught us we’ve been grateful for, and so on; as well as things we were thankful for. During Christmas meal we’d all go around and pull a note from the jar and read it aloud.”

“Bucky and I used to do that,” Steve said as he recognised the game. “We did that for Christmas too, only it was a glass for each person, and everyone had to write one nice thing and put it in the person’s glass. Then they’d all guess who wrote each thing.”

Phil looked as though he had something more to say, but didn’t. Instead he just looked back at the screen.

“This is getting complicated, and my plate is naked now,” Darcy whined. “Someone please pass the potatoes?”

“We’ll keep it simple,” Tony announced and picked up the hotdog to chuck back at his friend. “Everyone goes around and says one thing they’re thankful for. I’ll start.”

“Why you?” Darcy asked.

“My house and I have the biggest ego and highest IQ so I’m first. I’m thankful for Pepper.”

“Aw!” Some of them sighed. Clint sat a little closer to Loki and set his hand on his arm excitedly.

“I’m thankful that you were crazy enough to hire me, and then not fire me when I sprayed you in the eyes with pepper spray,” she smiled and took his hand to hold with a loving smile.

“I’m thankful for my best friend and my mother,” Rhodes said.

“Uh, one thing Rhodey,” Tony reminded.

“Fine, I’m thankful for my tiny family,”

“Brucy you’re next,”

“I’m thankful for my cousin Jenny.”

“Steve?”

“I’m thankful…for the chance I’ve been given to save lives.” He smiled and turned to Natasha.

“I’m thankful for people who have helped me find my path,” she said honestly and smiled at him as well.

“Clint?” Tony asked.

“I’m thankful for…my friends,”

“Done already,”

“Fine I’m thankful for…” he turned to Natasha and took up her hand, “my loved ones,” he answered looking at the god as he took his hand and interlaced their fingers. They smiled and leaned in to quickly kiss and then he pulled Tasha close to kiss her cheek and then her hand.

“I want to go next,” Darcy asked raising her hand.

“Alright, what makes you thankful little lady?”

“I’m thankful that I procrastinated on finding an internship and was stuck working with Jane.”

“Great. Next?”

“I am thankful for my lesson in humility that my brother helped me with,” Thor said proudly.

Darcy looked at Jane and then nudged her. She took a breath and then spoke up, “I am thankful for…for finding my dream again,” she finished softly and tried not blushing when she realised what she had been about to confess aloud.

“How about you Nick?”

The master spy straightened a bit. “I’m thankful my priorities ended up straightened out thanks to you all.”

“You’re welcome,” Tony said with a small bow.

Phil cleared his throat and spoke up. “I’m thankful for a chance to work with such dedicated and good spirited people.”

_What about you?_ Clint asked.

_I am more than thankful for you being in my life._

_I know that already, and so does everyone else. What is something we might not guess as your first go?_

“Loki?” Natasha asked.

“I’m thankful for a second chance,” Loki said looking at Clint. “For that opportunity to start over.” He looked a Thor who beamed and put an arm around him, pulling him into a quick hug.

“Selvig?” Stark prompted after several seconds of silent.

“I’m…thankful to be…” he took a moment and looked around the table at each individual. His gaze landed on Loki last before he looked at his plate. “I’m thankful that I am able to watch Jane continue to grow and learn.”

She smiled at him and hugged his arm, rubbing it a bit.

“I’m glad we had this talk. We have to let you all go; S.H.I.E.L.D. will be sneaking into the connection soon so start saying random things. Quick Loki throw Thor onto the table and turn him to monkey and then let Romanoff drop kick you. Clint, do the tango with Bruce. Steve, dress in drag. Fury don’t move, you’re doing great. Phil, do an interpretive dance about nachos. Ladies, please start quaking like ducks, and Erik, begin reciting Shakespeare backwards.”

“Goodbye,” Pepper said with a smile and waved Tony away. “We’ll be back there around Christmas.”

“We can’t wait to start fighting criminals with you again,” Steve said honestly and raised a glass. “Until then?”

Tony smirked and held up his own. Bruce didn’t miss the sadness behind his eyes and he knew later he would get an encoded message asking to chat. He raised his and everyone else followed suit.

“Cheers,” he said.

“Cheers,” everyone responded and then drank. The screen dimmed and they resumed eating.

\-------------------------------------------------

“OH!” Clint moaned as he shifted and rubbed his stomach. “Oh – _OH_!” he said and turned sideways, trying to find a more comfortable position to sit in as Natasha, Loki, and Bruce went to get dessert.

“Are you alright?” Darcy asked.

“Nope,” he groaned. “Too full!” he whimpered softly. “Too full…”

“I never thought to see you eat so much,” Thor confessed as he helped stack the plates with Steve.

“I don’t think I have ever eaten so much,”

“Who wants what?” Natasha said coming in with two different types of pies: one a steaming pumpkin the other a pecan.

“Apple,” Darcy pepped up and looked down to pat her stomach, “I think I might have room for that.”

Natasha set the pies down and went around picking up the remaining dishes Steve and Thor had left. Loki entered with the warmed up apple. He set it near where they were sitting.

“Well look at that!” Clint said sitting up suddenly. “I think I just felt my liver shrink and my stomach expand. Looks like I can have some pie too.”

Loki flushed with pride before going back to the kitchen. They returned with ice cream and plates. Thor and Bruce went around and refilled drinks.

“Who’s first?”

“Me!” Darcy volunteered. “Pumpkin and apple.”

“How big?” Natasha asked as she started cutting a piece of pumpkin.

“That’s good,” she said indicating a decent, yet small enough piece. “Same for the apple.”

Natasha portioned out the pies and Loki held the plates at the ready and presented them with a fork. When it came to Selvig though, he politely refused.

“I’m far too full,” he explained.

“Would you like me to get you a coffee then?” Loki offered.

Selvig was silent for a moment. “I think that would be a great way to end this delicious meal,” he said very carefully, not meeting the god’s gaze as he nodded slowly.

“Cream or sugar?”

“Just black,”

Loki nodded and went to get him some.

Natasha dealt out her own slices and handed it to be passed to her spot. “Ice cream Clint?”

“Yes, put it in the middle of the two,” he said.

Loki returned with a tray. It had several mugs, some creamer, the sugar bowl, spoons, and the coffee pot. “Just finished when I walked in,” he explained setting the tray down next to where Natasha was working. “I figured some of you would like some as well.” He poured a cup for Selvig and handed it to him.

“Thank you,” he said tightly.

“Not at all. Fury?”

“I’ll take a little,” he nodded.

“Pie?” Natasha asked.

“Pecan, small bit of ice cream,”

“I’ll take some coffee, please,” Bruce said sitting down before his plate featuring one small slice of each pie. “If you wouldn’t mind, just put a splash of cream in it, please?” Loki nodded and poured him some with just a splash as he requested and gave the two mugs over.

“Tasha?” Loki asked.

“Yes please, black,” she said and gestured to the pies. “One of each?”

“Yes, please. Small pieces,”

Once everyone was served something, Loki finally sat and ate his pie. Clint was already on his second slice of apple.

“This…is delicious,” he said and gave the god a kiss on the cheek. “If I hadn’t fallen head over heels for you, I’d do it now.”

Loki chuckled. “I’m glad you enjoy it.”

“You have to make it every day,”

“I’ll make it often enough,” he promised.

“Oh my god!” he groaned as he took another large mouthful. “Uh! I lied, this is the best thing I’ve ever put in my mouth.”

“Better than sex?” Darcy asked.

“This is same level,” he said swallowing. He glanced at Natasha who shook her head as she rolled her eyes. “I’m sorry, I can’t help it!” he defended. “She started it!” he pointed out suddenly.

“Hey!” Darcy glared at him.

“I knew something was going to slip out,” Natasha sighed, holding up a hand. “It’s not the worst you’ve ever said in regards to apple pie, so I’ll let it go.”

Clint grinned triumphantly.

“Everyone eat your fill,” Loki said, feeling brave enough to address them all. “Just as it is with the food, we’ve made plenty desserts.”

“Most excellent,” Thor sighed relieved and then held up his empty plate. “I would very much like another piece of the pumpkin and the apple.”

“I’ll get it,” Loki told Natasha as she made to move from her chair. He stood and took up the serving utensil. “How much?”

“This big,” Thor said indicating his desire for a quarter of the pie. “Or is that too big?”

“No,” Natasha reassured. “Take what you want.”

“Then I shall have one slice of both in that size.”

Loki gave him what he desired. “Ice cream?”

“No thank you, although it was most delicious with them,”

“Babe,” Clint said as he licked his fork clean. “I want more.”

“More?” he chuckled surprised. “Clint, you’ll explode for sure.”

“Just let me die happy,” he begged, using the voice he often adopted when he was being overdramatic in a serious and pleading manner. He grabbed Loki’s sleeve as if to steady himself.

“If it is what you want,” he said touching his cheek fondly. “I will let you have it.”

“Thank you,” he said and gave him his plate.

“How big a slice?”

“Like your slice for pumpkin and almost three times that for apple,”

Loki chuckled, a little worried for his love’s health, but gave him what he wanted, as well as a healthy scoop of ice cream. “One kiss before you burst,” he requested as he sat back down. Clint gave him one.

“I’m going in,” he warned.

“I wish you the best on this mighty quest,”

“Thanks, I’m gonna need it,”

“Oh Clint,” Natasha sighed as she braced herself to watch him eat.

“Don’t judge me,” he glared at her.

“I’m not. I pity you,”

“I pity Loki,” Steve said honestly. “I can’t imagine dealing with you tonight.”

“I’ll manage,” the god promised. “Although I agree, I don’t want to be him tonight.”

Darcy leaned forward and watched Clint eat. “You’re my hero,” she whispered and then looked down at her almost finished plate; so sad she couldn’t force herself to take another bite.

\-------------------------------------------------

Clint was leaning against Loki as he finished his food. The god had his arm around him to help support him as he insisted he was going to finish.

“Please don’t hurt yourself,” Loki begged and kissed his temple.

“I’m in it to win it,” he groaned miserably and mechanically forced the last bite into his mouth.

“Oh my god you did it,” Jane said, equal parts shocked, impressed, and horrified.

“I’m really glad Natasha did not start a betting pool,” Darcy said. “I would have lost.”

“I thought I was your hero?” he said getting angry and then groaned in agony as the effort to do such caused him great discomfort.

“You are, but that was crazy!”

Clint looked at Loki and went to hold up his plate. “If you ask me for more I’m going to tell you ‘no’,” he warned firmly.

“Great, because I want you to stop me,” he whispered and then rubbed his extended belly. “Oh god…my food baby has turned into triplets…and they have triplets.”

“That’s hardcore,” Darcy said giving her plate over to Thor as he came around to collect them.

“Hurts…” he hissed as he turned in his chair, “hurts so good…” He leaned his back on Loki’s chest. Loki held him in his arms as he would a woman in labour to try and ease her through one of her contractions.

“I think you’ll have to opt out of games,” Loki chuckled.

“Great…” he sighed and cleared his throat. “Oh…why did you let me do that?”

“You asked me too!” he laughed and gently rubbed Clint’s belly.

“Oh!” he groaned. “Gentle, gentle…”

“This better?” he asked easing up a bit.

Clint sighed. “So much…”

“Let’s rest here until you can stand,” he reasoned.

Everyone else pitched in to clear the table.

 “Yahtzee?” Steven asked as he balled up the table cloth to be washed.

“I’m down,” Darcy declared.

“I was actually going to go for a walk in the backyard,” Jane confessed. “How long where you planning on playing?”

“Until no one was interested any longer,” Steve said honestly.

“I’ll come in for next game then,” she nodded and then left.

“I should go see if Tony left me a message,” Bruce whispered to Natasha and then cast a small glance off to the side to try and see if Selvig was paying attention to them. He was busy listening to something Fury was telling him. “But…”

“See if there is a message, we’ll save you a spot in the next game,” she promised. “If he says anything I’ll say you went to take a call from your cousin.”

“Thanks,” Bruce nodded and went off.

“Thor?” Steve asked as he unpacked the game.

“I shall play,” he nodded.

“Phil, you in?”

“I’ve got to make a call,” he said getting up. “Next game?” he asked.

“Sure thing,” he smiled and passed out cards to Thor, Darcy, himself, and Natasha.

“We’ll play as one unit,” Clint groaned.

“We’re not playing, you need to lie down,” Loki chuckled. “Or be near a trash bin just in case.”

“I’m not going to puke,” he declared and then burped, looking green around the gills. “We’re playing,” he panted breathless as he leaned further back on Loki.

The god sighed and held out a hand for a score card.

“Nick? Dr. Selvig?”

“No thanks, I’ll watch though,” Fury said.

“I’ll play for a bit,” Selvig decided.

\-------------------------------------------------

They lost miserably, mostly because Clint insisted he could roll for them. Normally with dice he held their favour and the rolls were decent, but they must have felt his misery for almost every roll they landed wasn’t fantastic. Loki kept their score and continued to sooth Clint’s stomach as he grumbled and made noises to indicate his displeasure.

“I feel like Violet from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory…” he said shifting.

“Well you’re not full of juice, so we can’t squish you,” Natasha said back.

“No, I’d puke for sure,” he sighed and moved in Loki’s arms again, this time turning to sit on the edge of his chair with his face pressed into the god’s chest and his arms hanging around his neck. “Oooohhhh!” he groaned with relief. “That’s it…”

Loki chuckled and rubbed his back, gently patting it occasionally. He rubbed down around his lower back to help get his insides moving.

“Oh that’s good,” he sighed.

“It is a good thing my brother is a skilled midwife,” Thor noted. “Those are often positions I’ve seen him in with the women and men he’s helped through labour.”

“Wouldn’t that make him a mid, oh…what would that make him?” Darcy asked thinking about it.

“No, I am still a midwife,” Loki said looking at her from over his shoulder as best as he could. “Midwife has nothing to do with the person’s gender, it means ‘with women’ or ‘wife’. Whoever is with the mother-to-be is the midwife.”

“So what did they call it when you were in labour?”

Selvig choked on his coffee. He patted his chest and coughed deeply into his napkin.

“Well, I was a female those times, remember?”

“Oh right,” she frowned. “But what if you weren’t? What if you were still a dude?”

“Among the other realms, anyone who carries and births is considered mother to the child. The children I birthed call me mother and I am referred to as their mother. I have never known it to change.”

“Have you assisted males birthing?” Darcy asked with unrelenting curiosity.

“I have a few.”

“How’d it happen? I mean like you all have penises and stuff, or wait,” Darcy held up her hands and looked around. “Am I in trouble for asking that? Is this a banned topic for the table?”

The others shrugged and looked to Natasha and Steve.

“I…” Steve said looking at her and shrugged.

She sighed heavily. “I don’t know why we’ve suddenly become the topic police,” she muttered. “Regardless, is everyone alright with the topic?”

“I’m very curious,” Darcy stressed.

“Same,” Phil confessed.

“So long as everyone’s fine with it,” Natasha shrugged.

“Okay so penises, how does birthing work?” Darcy said getting down to business.

Loki laughed. “Not all species are the same,” he began. “While we all are physically similar in many ways, other planets might have beings who are hermaphrodites with pouches they deposit sperm into to impregnate each other; or an area near the base of their parts that is like a – I apologise I know it’s inappropriate language for the occasion – vagina. It all depends. Even with magic,” he nodded. “The universe has ways of making things work the way they are supposed to.”

“So they had like vajayjays where they could birth the babies?”

“Yes,” Loki nodded. “With the exception of some aquatic ones.”

“Aquatic ones?”

“There are aquatic creatures from Aysel that mate in the most unusual way. It is a beautiful planet made up mostly of water and ice. They are very similar to your merpeople. When they are ready to mate and produce offspring they each produce this essence; it’s protected in this jelly like bubble. They implant them into the parent who wishes to bear the child.”

“Implant how?” Darcy asked making a face.

“They have small slits under their belly buttons. They actually have three small ones that are fairly close together. They put them in one, the slit seals up, the child grows, and then when they are ready to birth they go through a labour process. They come up to the beach to birth. The children are too young to breath in heavy depths, so they stay in the shallows until they are ready too.”

“Can they breathe air?”

“They can,” Loki nodded. “Just not for great lengths. Their bodies much prefer the waters they live in.”

“So they go to the beach, then what?” Natasha asked, not hiding her own curiosity now.

Loki realised they were all fascinated and hanging on his every word. “Um, during the labour the slit slowly reopens. The child is born in their fluid sac. It starts to harden and shrink, but it’s still fragile enough that when they move and push against it, it yields to them. The labour takes a toll on the mother so a midwife is there to help the parents through the whole process. Sometimes the mate must tend to their lover and cannot immediately protect their newborns as they emerge from the sac and swim into the waters.”

“That sounds so strange, but I bet it’s beautiful to watch,” Darcy said dreamily.

“It was,” Loki nodded. “I was very fortunate to have witnessed and helped.”

“You helped with one?” Steve asked dumbstruck.

“My mother had asked me along to a social gathering on Vanaheim. There are some Ayselians who have adapted to live outside of their home world. They live in the oceans there and we happened upon one in the waters. His mate and he had been separated during a storm on their way to birth their child. His mate arrived not too long after he’d birthed the sac and they witnessed their baby coming forth.”

“How can you tell the genders?” Fury asked.

“Their markings,” Loki replied. “Male markings are thicker and more jagged; while females have smoother and more graceful ones.”

“They flirt by changing colour!” Thor said excitedly, unable to stop himself from adding to the conversation.

This prompted more questions, to which Loki simply answered, “You all have animals here that change colour for protection or to indicate their moods.” He shrugged. “It is the same. They change colour to attract a mate. They are normally a greyish blue with silvery purple hair and scales along their tails. The colouring can be rather interesting.”

“They also puff up,” Thor added. They have extra layers to their tails that bellow out and they dance around. It’s very beautiful.”

“Did one entice you?” Darcy joked.

“No,” Thor shook his head with a small frown.

“They do not have intercourse as we do,” Loki further explained. “Their bonds are very emotional and sensual in a manner that involves music, art, and touching; just little intimate gestures that don’t request anything further. The only driving force they feel is to go to the beach when they are ready to birth.

“Are there many beaches on As…Eye…um,” Phil began.

“Aysel,” Loki supplied. “From what I understand there aren’t. The planet is all ice from the surface, but under they have sculpted and dug it out to create a vast underground world. There seems to be one large continent that is considered sacred to them. Their history says they came from it and moved into the sea ages ago. It is the place all mothers-to-be are called before their labour starts.”

“So if that’s sacred for them, what about the ones on Vanaheim?” Selvig couldn’t stop himself from asking. It was apparent he wasn’t interested in what Loki had to say, more he didn’t believe him and wanted to find something that would catch him in a lie.

“I believe their bodies have adapted for the land,” Loki nodded. “They had travelled from the southern waters up toward the gulf. It wasn’t the closest shore they could have come upon, but they had been through a terrible storm. I’m sure they’d normally find the nearest safest beach. They do have to stay in the shallows until their young can deal with the pressures of deep waters,” he reminded. “I think any healthy and safe shallows will suffice.”

“I can only imagine Ariel laying on the beach screaming and cursing Prince Eric’s name at the sky,” Darcy confessed.

“It’s a little quieter,” Loki chuckled. “You’re thinking Aesir women. They curse and shout up a storm. Ayselians are very gentle, so even through the pain their nature radiates in an odd peaceful way.”

Clint got an image of Loki sitting on the beach. _The tide was coming up around him and an unusually beautiful creature was leaning back into his chest, heavily breathing and holding his belly as his body tensed and opened itself again. His markings were thick and jagged, just as Loki had described them, and a slightly darker colour than his skin. His head of hair was full but of a very fine quality and long with several chunks braided with a few small seashells studding it for decoration. His eyes were a little bit bigger than an average humans and much more round. His irises were huge though, and he had small gills on the sides of his neck, running down in a beautiful ‘v’ pattern to the middle of his chest. There was silvery grey blood on his belly, trickling out from three belly button looking things set about an inch apart each. There was also another one located higher up his chest rather than lower down, as a human’s was._

_“Keep breathing,” Loki said gently. A woman Clint guessed was Loki’s mother came to kneel next to them, but he didn’t look at her so Clint couldn’t see her face well._

_“Your mate should be here soon,” she said to them. “You’re doing so well.”_

_“I-I can’t breathe!” he gasped a little fearfully._

_“Would you like to lie in the waters?” she asked. He nodded and they helped him further into the water so that he was lying flat, Loki and his mother helping to keep him stable as he drifted contently._

The next thing Clint knew Loki was helping a glowing blue jelly fish like thing out of his belly. _There was a call and the Ayselian’s mate hurried toward him. The larger one held his lover close as Loki kept the large sac from being swept away. The image faded as he watched the sac shrink and harden, a tiny fist popping out of the shell as it split open to let the newborn into the world. The tiny thing stretched and swirled a little uncertainly in the water before curling back up, it’s tail coming over it’s face to protect it from the daylight._

_“I um…believe that’s a girl,” Loki said, his hands shaking as he gently moved the plume of her tail to check her faint markings._

_The parents lit up with joy and Loki gently help bring her towards them, watching as they cradled her in the water._

“Wow…” Clint said.

“What?” Phil asked, not having seen what he had.

“That was…really beautiful…” he said and looked at Loki. “I can’t believe it happens like that.”

“It’s very spectacular.”

“I wanna see,” Darcy sort of pouted.

“Another time,” Loki promised. “I don’t have the strength to do such. The magic here is different. It’s harder to draw upon, so attempting to share things would be a risk.”

“Risk?” Selvig said suddenly remembering who he was in the room with.

“Risk as in to myself,” he said quickly. “It could backfire; I could draw too much or too little and give over too much to the spell, creating an imbalance; it might not work; I could share another memory…” he tried not to shiver as he thought of all the negative ones he held firmly inside himself. He wasn’t even certain he was ready or willing to share them fully with Clinton; he couldn’t imagine accidentally letting them see it.

“I get it,” Darcy nodded understandingly. “But when you can, would you show me too?”

“Of course,” he promised.

_Bed?_ Clint asked.

Loki nodded. “Are you ready?” he asked and brushed some of his brown hair out of his face.

Clint nodded and they slowly stood. “We lost miserably, so don’t even ask,” he warned.

“Come back when you’re not part apple pie,” Natasha challenged.

“Will do,” he saluted. “Night everyone,” he waved. They waved back to him and Loki quietly bid them pleasant dreams as he helped Clint. The stairs were another deal and Loki almost just threw the archer over his shoulder and hurried up them. When they got to their room he realised he’d forgotten the promised treats for the kittens. He was about to speak such aloud when Thor came down the hall with a Tupperware container.

“Natasha said to give you this,” he explained.

“Thank you,” Loki said and grabbed Jareth by the scruff as he tried making a break for it. Ást hovered near his feet, curiously examining Thor.

“Is this the feline?” he asked surprised.

“Yes, this is the youngest,” Loki explained and held up the kitten. “This one is Jareth.”

“He is small,” he said fascinated. He held up his hand to compare it to the kitten. “He’s _so_ tiny!” he laughed amazed.

“Believe it or not he’s grown a bit too,” Loki commented and held out the kitten. “Would you care to hold him?”

“By the scruff or…?” he asked moving his arms into a cradling fashion.

“That will do,” Loki said and gave him the kitten. He opened the door more in invitation and picked up their food dish. He opened the container and started putting some of the meat on the plate. Ást suddenly appeared on the chair, watching him intently. He meowed loudly. “Yes this is for you,” he replied.

“I think he likes me,” Thor said excitedly as Jareth clawed at his chest to try and climb up high enough to rub his face all over him.

“Who is here?” Clint asked from the bathroom.

“Thor,” Loki replied and held his hand out with a carrot for Ástnæmr. The cat sniffed it before taking it and running to a corner to savour it. He went over and offered a smaller one to Jareth. The kitten ate it from his hand.

“I sense Erik’s heart softening,” Thor said with a smile.

“Do not mistake the spirit of the season for permanent change,” he warned not looking at him. “How often have we watched mother endure such a thing?”

Thor’s smile fell and he looked at him sadly. “Not all humans are cruel as you have encountered them in the past to be.”

“Not all are kind either,” he remarked and finally looked at him. “This is a new era, Thor. New technologies, medicines, and ideas they haven’t even begun to understand. Someone is tempering with them, and it hasn’t come from Asgard,” he finished in a low whisper. There was a flash from the almost closed bathroom doors.

Thor’s face grew serious as he realised he brother had used a spell to keep their conversation private “Do you believe someone has broken the alliance?”

“I’m not certain, but I believe something is amiss.” He took a deep breath and then pulled his now empty hand away from Jareth and returned to the table to tear apart the turkey into bite size pieces. “I haven’t felt or heard the darkness since the sceptre was removed…” he said quietly. “I didn’t really think the syrup would have kept it at bay for longer than a week or two, and the tincture maybe a month or so…just enough to scrap by until you could get me to Asgard. Even with the help of a guardian it would have been hard…but now…with my head cleared I can see something is going on.” He looked at Thor then. “I think this world is being primed for war and I hate to ponder what part I was to play, played, or am still yet to play in it.”

“The humans have always been at war with one another,” he pointed out.

“Not like this…there have been too many jumps,” he said and went back to pulling the food apart. “Their civilisation has risen exponentially at a rate that couldn’t have happened without outside influence. I’ve been reading into their history and the dates…they’re too close together, and not all of the information for how or why they were driven toward the need to discover such a thing makes sense. There is symbolism all around, signs from after the alliance was made that show someone has been here.”

“But father would have seen, wouldn’t he have?”

“Odin thinks he’s omniscient,” he said bitterly. “There are many things he is blind too. He can only clearly see what is upon his realm. The rest is guessing and help from Heimdall.”

“Then Heimdall has seen something?”

Loki shook his head slowly. “Whoever it is they’re clever. I wouldn’t doubt if they came to Midgard long ago and have remained hidden for ages, doing their work from underground.”

“What about the rifts?”

“The one in central park is closed,” he replied. “The one atop Stark’s was temporary and can never be opened again and the one in the desert only links Midgard to Asgard. No one there could get away with travelling between the two undetected unless they were myself, mother, or Master Thorkell.”

“And the others?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know where they are,” he confessed. “The magic here is…different,” he said at last. “And I am not even certain if it is the flow of the realm that has changed or myself,” he confessed.

Thor nodded understanding some of what his brother was talking about. “I thought it was just myself as well,” he said and gently pet the kitten wiggling in his arms for attention.

“I’m scared to see the guardians because of it,” Loki continued.

Thor’s face hardened then. “There is no need…we have been sought out,” he confessed softly.

“What?” he asked shocked.

“After the sceptre was relocated I found a feather in my room. It was set upon my pillow with a wooden talisman.”

“What was it?”

Thor reached into his pocket and pulled it out. Loki looked at it, but didn’t touch it. It was carved and the groves were painted black; the centre held a profile of an elk that was surrounded by twisted interwoven knots. “It is the shield,” he said and felt something foreboding roll down his spine. “It’s a type of Pictish knot; they protect against magical rites that have gone wrong.”

“And the elk?”

Loki shrugged trying to recall it. “Um…psychic defence…it’s to defend against spirits and encourage the wearer to be brave against the fearful unknown.” He looked at his brother. “Only the feather and the talisman? Nothing else to tell you who sent it?”

Thor’s lips pressed together and he turned it over. Loki felt his knees grow weak.

“Gaea…” he breathed and sank into a chair.

“I had hoped to wait until tomorrow to reveal such tidings. I was still not certain, or in truth, brave enough to ask you if the darkness was still inside you.”

“I bound it,” Loki replied numbly, still staring at the dark symbol of a curvy female figure with her arms raised in a perfect circle above her head.

“What?” Thor gasped.

“The moment it entered me I bound it to myself so I wouldn’t infect anyone…”

“Loki…” he exhaled stunned. “Loki, do you realise what you’ve done?”

“I didn’t know,” he whispered as tears started forming in his eyes. He’d never really thought about his reckless actions until now. “I never thought I’d find him again…” he whispered and put a hand to his mouth. He looked away and blinked quickly. His tears spilled over and ran down his cheeks. “I haven’t thought about it until now…what have I done?” he whispered and put his head in his hands, mindful of the turkey residue still on his fingers.

Thor pocketed the talisman and knelt before him. He set the kitten down and gently pulled his brother into a comforting embrace. “We’ll find a way to fix this,” he began.

“You can’t,” he whispered. “Thor it’s…it’s in my soul…” he breathed with dread. “There is nothing that can be done.”

“In all our years, never have I known you to give up,” Thor said confidently. He pulled back and made Loki look at him. “I swear to you, we will get through this together, just as we always have. I will not leave your side until you are well and happy,” he promised and took his hand to hold firmly. “Brother.”

Loki nibbled his lips a little and then nodded, firmly grasping his hand. “Brother,” he said timidly.

Thor gave him a warm smile. It reminded Loki greatly of their mother. He suddenly missed her horribly. It ached in his stomach and made him feel almost apathetic about all else.

Thor rose and retrieved tissues for him to use.

“Thank you,” Loki replied and quickly pulled himself together. “Have…has there been any other contact?”

“No,” Thor said. Loki didn’t let it show that he knew he was lying. He only nodded and rose. With a wave of his hand the spell was broken and Clint stepped out from the bathroom, shirtless and shoeless.

“Hey Thor,” he said with a wave and rubbed his belly as he burped. “Oh…I’m so sorry. Excuse me.”

“Not at all,” Thor smiled and waved in return. “Is there anything else?” he asked his brother.

“No,” he said and looked around trying to get his bearings. “I think that’s all, thank you.”

“I hope to meet the other one,” Thor said as he headed for the door.

“Ást isn’t generally against strangers,” Loki explained. “I fear he’s become more selective since the adoption.”

Thor nodded and carefully snuck out, Jareth trying to prance after him. Loki made a noise to get his attention and then held out his hand with a little of the turkey on it. Jareth and Ást both raced toward it curiously. They sniffed and licked at his finger until the piece fell to the floor where they both went for it and butted heads. They growled at one another.

“None of that,” Loki warned and then presented them with the dish. They began happily munching on the treat.

“You okay?” Clint asked.

“Yes, why?” Loki asked standing.

“The tissues,” he said pointing toward them.

“Oh,” Loki frowned. “They were to wipe my fingers,” he lied and did that to show what he was talking about. “I didn’t want to get turkey all over Jareth when I picked him up to give to Thor.”

“Oh,” Clint nodded and then laid on the bed. “Ohhhh!” he groaned.

Loki put a spell upon the Tupperware to keep the food safe and set it aside so the kittens wouldn’t get at it. He started undressing.

“I need help,” Clint whined a little.

Loki smirked and helped him out of his pants and socks.

“Careful,” he warned and then belched again.

“Oh Clint!” he chided as he turned his faced and waved the smelly gust of air away.

“I’m so sorry,” he moaned and rolled onto his side.

“I’m horrified to discover what it’ll be like when it moves further down,” he said wrinkling his nose.

“Me too,” he sighed and tucked a pillow between his legs and held it to help support himself. “Come here,” he said reaching for Loki.

“You are a hazard!” he laughed as he finished undressing.

“I need you,” he whined a little.

Loki crawled to him, but stayed facing his front and at a level where Clint’s head was near the middle of his chest, so the worst of the burp smell and wind wouldn’t directly affect him.

“Oh please don’t ever let me do this again,” he groaned.

“We both know well enough, that no matter what I say you’ll do it again,”

“Fine…but remember this moment and show me it again and again until I stop,” he whispered.

Loki pressed his lips to Clint’s forehead and lovingly kissed him. “Get some rest love, before the kittens finish their treat.”

“Done…” Clint sighed as heavily as he could manage without making himself sick. He groaned for a while still and when the first hints of gas began Loki knew he’d be asleep soon. The god tried to stifle his laughter, for he knew it bounced Clint’s head and woke him up; however, it was embarrassingly amusing. He rubbed Clint’s back and tried keeping the kittens from settling in places that would distress any one of them. They eventually found a comfortable position and the peace of sleep and night came to them all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just out of curiosity, and because I think about it often and decided to express it this chapter, there are some people who used to comment regularly on here or on tumblr who I haven't heard from in a very very long time. I don't know if something happened or you all are waiting for a decent chunk of chapters to binge through, but I just get really worried about you all. I hope that you all are doing really well and are safe.


	57. Chapter 57

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm the worst person in the universe - I know! - and I'm so unbelievably sorry!!! So incredibly LONG story SUPER short: things got really bad; I didn't have a lot of time to really do anything; sister got super sick; got a job; quit it for various stupid reasons; got another job; spontaneously moved out of my mom's on April Fools (somehow the cops got involved, but it was a non-violent situation so all is good); and now even though I'm making next to nothing serving coffee to people, I, at least, have a job. I'm starting to get my health and life back together and I decided since I had a few days off these past few weeks to quickly try and get this together and out so you all had something. It's rusty, it's riddled with spelling and grammar errors, it's probably has a few things that aren't fully complete - but I promise I'll get back into the swing of things and hopefully start bringing these out once a month. That's my goal right now since every week or every other isn't ideal. Things are going better, just not that level better, y'know?
> 
> Thank you so so so so so (x infinity) much for the likes, comments, follows, and for being patient with me while I struggle bus'ed threw this past year, and so on. I really appreciate it and I feel like a complete and utter piece of shit for making you wait so long. Hopefully this chapter lifts your spirits. I've got some other fics I'm working on too that should start to show up along side more chapters. I love you all. You all are absolutely stellar and I wish you a wonderful rest of June! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

\----------------------57----------------------

“Is this still good?” Darcy asked as she pulled out a bowl of green bean casserole.

“Honey, it’s December third, please don’t eat that,” Fury begged.

She frowned unhappily and put it back into the fridge. “Then what’s it doing in there!?” she cried frustrated.

Loki entered the room. “What’s wrong?”

“I wanted stuffing, but it smelled funny, so I tried with this casserole, but it’s been a week and some change since Thanksgiving and I’m questioning it.”

“Here,” Loki said coming over and getting the casserole out of the fridge. He set his hand over the bowl. He closed his eyes and took calming breaths. It started glowing yellow tinted with white. After a few seconds it faded into a solid white.

Selvig entered and froze as he watched what was going on.

“There,” Loki sighed as he stopped the spell and gave her the bowl. “It’s safe to eat. Anything else?”

“Nope! Thanks!” she said excitedly and grabbed it, as well as a spoon, and ran off.

Loki leaned back against the counter for a moment to catch his breath. It was one of those days were performing magic took more of a toll on him than usual.

Last night had been rough; the new assailant had a power of his own and kept popping in and out of thin air. It was hard sensing him when he wasn’t on the planet most of the time and they left the fight licking their wounds as he got away with an important statue. Loki could sense it was tremendously powerful. He wondered why and how the guardians had let such a thing fall into the hands of the mortals. Most had no use for such instruments, but there were always those that harboured the desire for more and they were dangerous.

“You keep encouraging her like that and it’ll be trouble,” Fury warned lightly.

“I have been told the same in regards to my own children,” he chuckled and then rubbed at his face a little.

“You okay?” Fury asked looking him over.

“Long night,” Loki explained and straightened. “An unfruitful battle, but thankfully we managed only a few small injuries.”

“Well I hope you all rest and heal well,”

“Thank you,” he said softly and went to make some tea. He pulled a bag of half melted pink liquid out of the fridge and poured some of it into a mug and put it in the microwave. While that heated he set about making something simple for lunch: sandwiches on sub buns with turkey, cheese, lettuce, mayo, and pickles. Well he put pickles on his; he’d been craving them for a while and found such a meal to be lacking without them now. He cut the sub buns in half width-wise and found a snack in the pantry that would suit Clint’s needs. They weren’t the _Cool Ranch Doritos_ he preferred, but they were a kind of _Doritos_. The bag read _Spicy Sweet Chili_ ; Loki took a nibble and decided he sort of like them a little more over the other flavour. He finished his work by cutting up an apple and some strawberries for his own plate, dusted his hands, and put everything he was not using away.

At five minutes after twelve Clint came in from the side hall, sweaty and out of breath. Natasha was next to him, perfectly calm and clean. “I thought…I th…” he gasped and then bent in two, keeping his hands on his knees as he caught his breath.

“That’s what you get when you cut corners to your routine,” she said down at him with no sympathy.

“Tea?” Loki asked her, he too ignoring Clint’s dramatics.

“Yes please,” she smiled and spotted Selvig just standing there. “Good afternoon Dr. Selvig,” she nodded to him.

He started. “Oh, um, yes, good afternoon.”

Clint wheezed and held out a hand and then brought it back to his knee.

“I can’t tell if you really are dying or just being over dramatic,” Loki commented as he brought their plates to the table and went about heating up a mug for Natasha.

“Both…” he managed to sigh after a bit.

Loki chuckled and stood before the archer. Clint wrapped his arms around him and awkwardly squashed his face into the god’s side. “There, there,” he said rubbing Clint’s back and patted it soothingly.

“Oh your hands feel _so_ good…” he groaned.

Loki used that to help the archer cool off. Working from his lower back he set his hands over certain spots he felt were warmer than others, moving up as needed until he was at Clint’s still slightly red face. “My poor warrior,” he commented cupping his face and giving the side of his mouth a small kiss after he’d pulled him up to stand properly.

“Defeat two days in a row…” he sighed, still a little winded, but not as much. “Oh that feels good…” he whispered and licked his lips as he adjusted one of Loki’s hands to the back of his neck.

Loki smiled and ran his other hand slowly over Clint’s forehead. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you in such a state.”

“He’s been avoiding working with me,” Natasha explained.

“I can’t recall the last time you both worked out together,” Loki said with a frown. “Does the strange tag around the building count?”

“No,” Natasha said at the same time Clint puffed out a, “Yes”.

Loki chuckled and gave the archer another kiss. “If I’d have known I would have made something lighter.”

“I just want food…” he sighed.

“Then you shall have it,” he nodded and helped him to his seat. “I’m getting you water though.”

“Please!” he said and began tearing into the food ravenously and with little to no proper table manners.

“Would you like me to make you something?” Loki asked as he handed Natasha her tea.

“No thank you. Steve and I are going out to eat,” she smiled a little.

“Oh,” Loki chuckled and carefully took a sip of his own. “Something fancy?”

“No, just casual. I think we’re going to see if a pub in his old neighbourhood is still around and maybe eat there.”

“Sounds nice. How’s your calf?” Loki asked.

“Much better, thank you,” she said and twisted to look at it, pulling her capri pant up just a touch to show a peak of the bandage. “I can’t feel the pain anymore.”

“I’m glad.”

“What happened?” Selvig asked anxiously.

“We ran into a new clown,” she sighed, shaking her head as she went to sit down. “I got caught on something trying to escape a bomb. Thankfully Loki was able to help me. The wound is fairly healed, but the salve he put on it has taken the bite of the pain away.”

Loki waved his hand as he came to sit down. “Just a simple remedy. I’m just glad you’ve healed so well. I was worried; that hooked metal bar looked old and nasty.”

“These aren’t _Doritos_ ,” Clint said, around a mouth full of sandwich, as he pointed to his plate.

“They are,” Loki said in a patient well-practiced mothering tone. “We’re out of _Cool Ranch_ , so I gave you what was in there.”

Clint hesitantly sniffed it. He swallowed his mouthful and licked the surface of the chip, taking a moment to taste it. “Okay,” he said and ate one.

“How are they?” Loki asked.

“Not _Cool Ranch_ , but I’ll live.” He ate another one. “Actually they might be a good second choice if times are rough.”

“Good,” Loki nodded.

“So when can we go back to our rooms?” Clint asked.

“When the maids are done,” Natasha sighed, the sound of her voice indicated this hadn’t been the first time he’d asked that, and she was starting to grow tired of repeating herself.

“I can clean my own bedding,” he frowned unhappily.

“Yes, but you never bother to clean your bathroom,” she pointed out. “Even on base it was gross.”

“It wasn’t gross; I just never took a toothbrush, a power tool, or bleach to it.”

“It was gross,” she repeated firmly. “You even left hair in the sink.”

“It falls off my head; it’s natural,”

“I mean pubic hair,” she snapped.

“One hair!” he shot back with a glare.

She rolled her eyes and continued on. “Besides they’re deep cleaning; that means scrubbing windows, corners, ceilings, walls, doors _and_ vacuuming.”

“Don’t worry I made sure the closet was shut and locked,” Loki said in hopes to make Clint a little happier when he saw him tense up. “And the kittens are safe with Darcy in the hall. They cannot go further than the archway at the end and can only return to our room.”

“I still don’t like the idea of someone rooting around in my stuff. Cleaning or not,” he grumbled.

“Then we’ll set up a schedule and take turns cleaning,” Loki reasoned. “But I’ve spoken to some of them and they seem like very nice people. One is a young man who is working to help support his family. Stark was kind enough to give him this job when no others would; I’d hate to take it from him just because I want to scrub my own floors or wash my own windows.”

“Yeah but you’re a prince, you’ve never had to do those things,” he grumbled.

Loki let out a bark of laughter. He covered his mouth a little embarrassed at the force and sound of it and then shook his head. “Oh my little Hawk,” he sighed a little sadly. “If you only knew…”

Thor entered then, a serious expression on his face. He cheered up when he saw Selvig was in the room. “Dr. Selvig,” he began.

“Erik, please,” he reminded.

Thor nodded. “Erik,” he said and then cleared his throat. “It’s good to see you. I have need to speak with you later.”

“Oh?”

“Yes,” he nodded, not giving him anything more, and then opened the freezer and began making himself something. He ended up eating a whole bag of pizza rolls and two bags of barbeque chips as they all shared polite talk and Clint continued to complain about strangers touching his things.

When he was finished eating, Clint leaned on Loki, who sat back comfortably in his chair.

“Do you feel better?” Loki asked him as he rubbed his side.

“Yes, thank you,” he sighed and shifted so that he could kiss him. “You’re the best,” he said and moved so that he was lying with his head in Loki’s lap, his lower back and upper backside supported by the chair as the rest of him hung loose and relaxed.

“I try,” Loki smiled and then gently took his index finger and brushed it along Clint’s upper lip. “Your facial hair looks very dashing.”

“Yeah,” he smiled and touched it. It had filled out more in the past few days and Clint had taken to styling it in a neat Van Dyke goatee. It was nothing overtly fancy; just a nice moustache and a small patch under his bottom lip that connected to a good amount of hair hugging his chin. “I need to trim this though,” he commented pulling a little on the hairs on his chin. “It’s getting too long. It’ll look odd soon.”

“I doubt that,” Loki commented and gently felt the hairs on the archer’s chin. At first they had been horridly coarse and scratchy, but now they were softer. Nothing as fine as the hair on the top of his head, but when he kissed him now, he didn’t feel as though he was squishing his face against a cliff wall.

Still prickly as they were at times, he found he rather enjoyed them. Clint’s beard had added a new layer to their intimacy. There was just something he found rather delicious about the feel of Clint gently brushing his skin with his beard, especially at the tender spots of his inner thighs, lower back, and his neck. He’d nearly lost it, when they were at it the other night and Clint had rubbed his mouth against his shoulders. He had always been very sensitive of the area and noted that Clint had taken it into consideration, using it to his advantage and as a weapon against him at the most skilful times. Nothing could compare to the feel of his mouth and his facial hair dancing along that spot; igniting his nerves in a manner that made his breath catch and his toes curl, almost as if he were fingering his sweet spot directly.

“What are you thinking of?” Clint asked and brought a hand up to loosely lace his fingers with Loki’s, whose hand was resting near his cheek, one finger just touching the corner of the archer’s mouth.

 “How we should go about rehanging those lovely curtains we worked so hard for, and how to keep Jareth from scaling them again,” he lied. He knew Clint had an idea of what he was thinking of and he wasn’t about to share it with so many others around.

Clint grinned, but didn’t push it. “We could shorten them,” he offered.

“He’s getting longer now, he’ll be able to just jump and catch on them.”

“Then we let him stay up there and suffer until he learns not to,” he shrugged.

Loki rolled his eyes. “He’ll be more inclined to jump and hurt himself than suffer up there.”

“He’ll be fine. Cats are basically indestructible,” he sighed, closing his eyes, and opened Loki’s hand so that he could nuzzle his face into it.

“I doubt that,” Loki replied. “Perhaps we could spray them with something they don’t like.”

“Such as…?”

“I’ve often found felines to hate sour or citrusy smells. We could try and spray the curtains with some sort of orange or lemon mist and see if that would stop him from adventurously climbing them.”

“It’s a good shot,” he said sleepily.

“What else do you have to do today?” Loki asked and ran the fingers of his other hand through Clint’s hair.

“Shooting…I need to test a few things and a new arrow.”

“Sounds like fun,” he smiled down at him. “So you figured out the boomerang one?”

“I think so,” he sighed.

“Is it nap time?” he smiled down at Clint when his eyes fluttered sleepily.

“Yep…” he breathed.

“I hope Loki didn’t have anything important to do today,” Natasha said pointedly.

“Just be sexy…” Clint mumbled. “Nailed it.”

Loki laughed loudly.

Natasha’s phone beeped a few times. She looked at the screen and smiled. “I’m off,” she said getting up and took her empty mug to the sink. “See you all later,” she waved.

“Take care,” Fury called.

“Have fun,” Loki waved.

“Bye,” Selvig mumbled.

Clint didn’t say anything. Loki knew he was too close to full on sleep to be bothered to do anything. “I wish you would have waited, or moved us to the living room,” the god sighed trying to wiggle as little as possible as he made himself comfortable. He put an elbow on the table and rested his chin against his fist; his other hand was still trapped by Clint’s and still squished against his face. “Oh well,” he sighed and watched him sleep with a fond smile.

Selvig cleared his throat and shifted uncomfortably. Loki ignored him and Fury wasn’t about to deal with any more of his pettiness so he kept to himself and continued to read.

Thankfully they didn’t stay there for long; Clint woke enough to complain about his back, so Loki convinced him to retire to the living room.

“Lay with me,” Clint whined a little as he huffed and groaned on the couch, his body crying out from the abuse it’d suffered that morning.

“I can’t, love. I have things to do,” he said and set a cool hand to Clint’s forehead. “I’ll come back to check on you. I promise.”

“Wake me up before dinner,” he mumbled. “Test…a…ar…o…”

“I promise I’ll wake you up before dinner so you can eat and have time to test your arrows before bed,”

Clint’s soft snores where all that greeted him. Loki carefully fixed a pillow under his head, slipped his boots off, and tucked him in with the blanket from off the back of the couch. He gave his forehead a loving kiss before he went to the kitchen to clean up their mess. Selvig was gone but Fury had a look and feel about him that suggested the two had exchanged sharp words. Loki didn’t wish to provoke anything further so he quickly cleaned up, bid him a good rest of the day, and went to the lab.

Jarvis let him in. Bruce was working over a beaker, carefully dropping something red into it. He looked to be in a serious state of concentration so Loki remained very still and waited. “Hey,” he said once he’d set the dropper back into a small tube and set it off to the side. “I didn’t hear you come in. Have you been there long?”

“No, not long,” he half-lied, “you wished for my help?” Loki asked.

“Yeah,” he said and motioned him closer. “I need a few blood samples. I’m trying to create an anti-serum to whatever they shot Thor with, in case they try it on you. I’ve made something that should work for him, but…I know…you both are gods and stuff but…” he cleared his throat awkwardly, growing nervous as his courage to voice what he had left to say fell away. “Um…you’re…not, but…yeah…”

“Oh,” Loki nodded realising what he was trying to be polite about. “Yes…Thor and I are similar yet very different. I’d imagine whatever you created for him would sort of work upon myself, but not to the extent at which it would for him.” He removed his cardigan and rolled up his sleeve as he went to sit down in the chair Bruce motioned for him to take. “I wish there was more I could offer,” Loki began, feeling just as awkward as he knew the scientist was. “I don’t know very much about…my own species.”

“Well…I guess that makes two of us,” Bruce said sitting on a rolling stool. He took his protective googles off and put rubber gloves on. “My own make-up is a mystery to everyone, even me.”

“I assume you’ll have to do something for each of us,” Loki said and watched as Bruce prepared his arm to draw blood.

“Yeah, I’m gonna try. It all depends on what they throw at us.”

“That can’t be easy. I mean, we’re all different. Thor and I are two separate alien races; Natasha, Steve, and you have all been enhanced in some manner; even Clint is different than most humans,”

“And Stark’s sensitive to certain chemicals because of his ARC reactor,” Banner nodded. “But if it means keeping you all safe, I’ll sacrifice my time and sleep to do it.”

Loki nodded and looked away just as the needle pierced his skin. “Thank you…” he said softly.

“Not at all,” he replied and started filling a vial. “How have you been feeling?”

“Tired, but I still haven’t felt the darkness since you removed the sceptre.”

“If I’d have known…I’m sorry,”

“Don’t be,” he swallowed and glanced at what he was doing before looking away again. “I understand how appealing such a power can be. It must have been very exciting to have something like that. All the things you could do with it; make artificial life, control whole worlds, build or destroy empires…”

“In all honesty I just wanted to get it out of S.H.I.E.L.D.’s control. Tony was the one that wanted to see how it ticked.”

“I’m surprised you stayed down here with it for so long,”

“Yeah, the big guy didn’t very much like it,” he explained and carefully pulled the needle out. “I’ve got what I need for now,” he said and put a wad of gauze padding over the spot. “If you’d hold that there until the bleeding stops.”

Loki nodded and did as he was bid while Bruce took the vials over to a small cabinet in the wall. He marked them and slid the glass door open. It made a hiss and cool air drifted out as he put them in and closed it before pushing a button. The light inside went out and the door locked with a small click.

“What are you making?” Loki asked, indicating the small bit of burgundy yarn poking out from a bag near the sleeping cot in the corner.

“A scarf, for my cousin,” he explained. “Nothing fancy, just a little simple burgundy and black striped scarf. Her old one is full of holes and she works in a courthouse most days. I figured this would look a little more presentable.”

“That’s very kind,”

“You knit too,” he said rubbing his hands together and kept talking, trying to break the nervous energy between them. “Is there something you’re making right now?”

“A sweater for Clint,” Loki nodded. “I’ve almost finished; I just have the collar to make. I already made a few other things, just little tests to see if I could remember anything.”

“I have a few sites,” he offered. “I could give you the links and you could find patterns or get ideas from off of them. There is this lace pattern I want to try; it’s a…I think it’s called a Double Herringbone Mesh stitch?”

“Yes,” Loki nodded. “I am familiar with such a pattern. It’s a beautiful zig zag with lots of texture; very delicate though.”

“Have you done it?”

“No, my mother was always better at laces than I,” he said apologetically. “I’ve owned something with it, and I’ve always wanted to learn it though.”

“I’ll send you the site for stitches,” he decided. “It shows you almost every stitch known to mankind.”

“I’d like that very much,” Loki gave him a small appreciative smile.

An awkward pause fell between them. Bruce rubbed at the back of his head. “Do you use aluminium needles?”

Loki frowned and tilted his head a bit. “No, I was not aware such existed.”

“No, I don’t like them very much. They’re popular for people who don’t want to spend money for the wooden ones, but know better than to buy plastic ones. Those always break.”

“Yes, I spoke with a woman at the craft store about such troubles she was having. I only know what I’ve always known, so I chose the wooden ones.” Loki laughed a bit and checked under the gauze. “In all honesty I was just so focused on getting a good set started; I didn’t even look around at the other things hanging on the wall. I zeroed in on the wooden ones and nabbed up what I could.”

Bruce chuckled as well. “Yeah those would probably be bamboo ones. Were they in a purple or green package?”

“Green,” he replied. “Are the purple ones a different wood then?”

“No, they’re still bamboo. If you want a different wood you have to either order online or know someone who can make them.”

“Oh,” Loki said softly and then checked the spot again. The bleeding had stopped and his skin was healed. He rolled his sleeve down and tossed the wad of used gauze in the bin. “Is there anything else you need of me?” he asked.

“No,” Bruce said, jumping a bit, as he set back off to work at his station. “Thank you.”

“Not at all,” Loki said putting his sweater back on. “And it is I who should be thanking you.”

“Wait until I get an anti-serum,” he nodded, sort of confidently, and put his goggles on. “Then you can thank me.”

\-------------------------------------------------

Clay’s phone chirped. He pulled it out and saw it was from Sam.

_Hey, we need to talk. Now._

“God, fuck,” he hissed and hurried to an upstairs corner of the coffee shop he’d just stepped into. He was due to meet up with another agent at any moment, the last thing he needed was for them to see him using his phone for outside mission business. He pulled out a scanner and held it as he stood with his body angled a little away from the stairs and dialled Sam’s number. “What?” he said keeping an eye on the light and the stairs.

“I know something is about to go down. What is it?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You do, I know you do,” he said.

“I don’t. What brought this up?”

“I have a feeling,”

“Seriously!?” he said angrily. “A _feeling_?”

“Come on, we’re supposed to be in this together.”

“And that’s what I’m doing and that’s what you should be doing, not chasing after _feelings_.”

“Clay, too many people have gone out on unscheduled missions without being cleared; none of the facilities are communicating anymore; Hill has been having meetings without me; and it’s been weeks since you’ve asked me out for coffee. I’m not stupid, something is about to happen.”

Clay took a deep breath and then glanced at the door and saw the agent walk in. “Look…Sam, I know you mean well. Just keep being there for Maria, okay? She’s going to need it, regardless if anything happens or not. You’re her Deputy Director, her second hand, and closest person there.”

“But –”

“That’s just how it goes. The meetings are probably not anything important. Just the council bitching her out,” he quickly said and shifted a little further into the shop to try and give himself more time.

Sam sighed heavily. “If something happens…”

“Be there for her,” he advised. “No matter what.” The light started flashing. “I have to go. I’m going dark for a bit.”

“Got it, stay safe.”

“Thanks you too.” He hung up just in time and pocketed the device.

“Mark?” the woman asked as she came up the stairs.

“Jessica?” he smiled and turned to her.

“So glad to meet you,” she smiled and came over to give him a small hug and peck on the cheek. “Have you ordered yet?”

“No, I just got up here,” he said and gestured towards a table. “Shall we?” he asked.

“Yes,” she said and he helped her into the chair before motioning to a waiter.

“What can I get you both today?” the young man asked.

“I’ll have a café mocha please,” Jessica said taking off her gloves and set them off to the side along with her scarf and hat. “And…do you have danishes?”

“Yes ma’am, we do. We have apple, strawberry, cheese, and blueberry.”

“How big are they?”

“About this big,” he said showing her the size with his hand, indicating they were roughly five inches across and possibly circular.

“I’ll have two of them, one apple and cheese please.”

“Yes ma’am; and for you sir?”

“I’ll have an Americano and a slice of your ice lemon pound cake,” Clay replied. “Thank you.”

“Not at all,” he smiled and then went off.

Clay laced his fingers together and looked down at the table.

“So you scanned before I got in here?” she asked digging into her purse.

“Uh…I’d just started,” he admitted.

“And?” she asked.

“I sensed you coming,” he shrugged and leaned back in his seat.

She sighed heavily and pulled a compact out before opening it and pretending to check her makeup. She snapped it shut and set it off to the side. “We’re good.”

He shrugged. “Figures.”

“Have you finished the preparations for next week?”

“Final touches were put onto them just before I came here,” he said and glanced at the stairs.

“Don’t worry, I have people downstairs who will make sure we’re left alone up here,” she replied. “Anyone who comes up here after our waiter leaves will be one of us.”

“Hail Hydra,” he whispered and felt his insides seize at his words.

“Hail Hydra,” she said firmly and with a passion he knew was rooted to her very core.

It didn’t take very long for their food and drinks to arrive and as promised, they were left alone.

“So have you decided on where you wanted to be when it happens?” she asked.

“It is probably best if I’m there. I am one of the heads aren’t I?”

She shrugged. “Our organisation has many. Cut one off –”

“Two more grow,” he replied in a tight voice. “But I’ve always found it’s better if I do things myself. I’ll pop in, take the objects we need, and be back out before anyone can say, ‘Hey, get behind the ropes, sir’.”

She smirked and gave him a look that suggested she knew something he didn’t. “You think it’ll be that easy and quick?”

“I mean,” he shrugged. “Two stone tablets and a dusty pitcher. They’re in the back even, so it’s not like I’m literally busting into a display. I’ve had to do worse.” Her silence made him a little uncomfortable. “So if everything is set, what’s all this then?” he asked and drank some of his coffee.

“Just a friendly check-in,” she smiled.

“Do all top officers do this with their underlings?”

“Not all,” she replied and finished off the last of her apple danish. “Just the ones we don’t trust,” she said casually and dusted her hands off.

“Don’t trust?” he asked raising a brow. “What, does Hydra hate agents who floss twice a day?”

“No,” she shook her head and grabbed her things. “You’re just still very new to swearing loyalty to us. We’ve grown cautious over the years.”

“Well when I put myself into something, I’m in. I swore I was a part of this and I mean it.”

“We understand that. Don’t take offense darling, it’s just standard procedure,” she replied nicely and drank some of her coffee. “I have to visit the facility. When you’ve collected what you need, you may join us there,” she said standing and slipping her gloves and hat on. “Oh and the next time Sam calls you, tell him I said ‘hi’. I wondered why you’d both stop seeing one another.”

Clay tensed up and glanced at her. “I…I didn’t think he’d be into this sort of thing…so…I thought breaking things off would be better between us.”

“We could use someone of his talents,” she smiled warmly and then frowned disappointed. “Shame he’s a negro. Oh well,” she shrugged pulling on her smile again. “I look forward to hearing from you. Best wishes,” she said and bent down. Very slowly and with great reluctance she kissed his cheek. “I’ll cover you next time,” she promised before leaving.

Clay sat there for a while by himself and prayed for the first time in ages.

\-------------------------------------------------

The kittens raced up and down the hall excitedly chasing one another. Jareth was the fastest; his long back legs propelled him forward at a speed Loki was very impressed with, regardless if he lost his balance and rolled a few times before getting up and taking off again. Darcy sat on the ground, rolling balls and tossing toys from one end to the other as the two hurried to get them.

Now that the cleaning people had left they had free reign all over the wing. They’d explored the hall, been all up in Darcy and Jane’s room, sniffed and rubbed against all of Bruce’s things again, made a nest in the basket of what had been Steve’s neatly ironed and folded clean shirts, and Jareth proudly pooped on Thor’s bathroom floor before rubbing himself all over his pillows.

“At least he made the scrapping motion,” Clint reasoned apologetically as he hurried to clean it up. “He knows what to do, just…not that you do it in a box all the time.”

“It is alright,” Thor nodded. “He makes tiny piles, stepping in them will be nothing compared to the horror of stepping in an Asgardian one…or falling,” he looked off into the distance, as if recalling such a terrible event, and then shivered a bit.

“So if they’re running around the mansion, will we need like a litter box in each room?” Darcy asked as she lay on Thor’s bed with Jareth, his paws batting at her hand as she tickled him.

“No,” Loki replied as he cradled Ast close to him. The cat was snuggling up to him and yawning in a manner that suggested nap time was close at hand. “I’m sure we’ll have to put one on the ground floor, but they will learn that those places are the only ones they may relieve themselves in.”

“Oh no,” Darcy said and looked at Jareth. He stared at her waiting for her to continued playing with him. “You’re in trouble man. Mommy’s gonna get you.”

Jareth meowed and ran off, his tail curved in a playful manner that suggested she should chase him.

Loki turned and headed back toward the bedroom. He kissed Astnaemr’s head and then set him in the bed, putting the dark green thickly knitted blanket he’d finished the other day over him. Jareth raced in, ran toward the window, turned sharply, lost his balance and rolled a few times, scrambling for a second, before hurrying off back into the hall.

Loki stepped out and watched him. Jareth ran until he got to the end of it and then shot back toward Stark’s bedroom door. He didn’t make it though, for Loki was just as fast. He scooped up the kitten, turning around once to help slow the momentum without causing him whiplash, and made him look him in the eyes. Jareth squirmed and meowed, knowing he was in for it. Loki waited until he’d stilled a bit; one hand cupping his bum to help support his legs while the other held him up by the scruff. “We do not defecate outside of our litter box,” he said in a firm very maternally unhappy voice.

Jareth let out a tiny sad mew.

“No, I don’t care,” he shook his head. “I know you are still small, which is why I’m only giving you a verbal warning, but you must be mindful of your needs. I know playing is exciting, but please be considerate of others and their spaces. You wouldn’t like it if I did that in your bed, would you?”

Jareth fidgeted in his grasp. He held the kitten to him, tucking him up under his chin as he snuggled him close.

“I know, love,” he sighed and turned to bring him into the room. “The world is so much bigger than you imagined. So much bigger than this room, this hall, this house…”

Jareth brushed his face against Loki’s.

“Are you sleepy yet, love?” he asked as he gently petted him. Jareth started purring, his body winding down at last. Loki held him in his arms until he was calm enough that if he put him down, he wouldn’t take back off. He tucked him into the bed next to his brother and petted them both until they were breathing in a manner that suggested sleep.

“You speak to them as if they can understand you,” Jane said from the door.

“What makes you think they cannot?” he asked turning to look at her. He did not say it in a mean way nor had he meant it to be such; it was just a simple curious question.

She was quiet for a moment. “I guess I put that backwards,” she said a bit embarrassed. “What I meant was: most people talk to their pets as if they can make that connection, like we are now. Most of the time it’s just guessing and adding in what they want because…I don’t know,” she shrugged. “They’re lonely, they think the animal talks and behaves like that, they’re being funny, but you…you just carry on conversations and it’s like…” she shrugged and then gave up. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything.”

“I’m not offended,” Loki said coming toward her. “I believe I understand what you are trying to say…and yes, I do understand them.” He turned to look at the kittens from over his shoulder. “All things have energy and all living things have auras. If one knows how to read them, they know what…” he thought about it for a moment, “What a plant is feeling, or a bird, or their creatures.”

“So…when you’re talking to them, you’re actually _talking_ to them,” she added to clarify.

“Yes, and also,” he tapped the side of his head. “Thor and I have been gifted Allspeak. Regardless if I could read their energies and auras, it translates their vocal inflections in a manner I can understand.”

Jane blinked and stared at him shocked.

“I don’t use it when I’m around them,” he reassured. “I learned Midgardian English long ago. I only have used the Allspeak a few times since coming here.” He shut the door quietly behind him and went to his brother’s room, Jane following him a little ways behind.

Thor and Clint where having a pissing contest about who could hang upside down the longest. Loki didn’t know how it started, but he was worried how it would end.

“Fuck you man,” Clint said, his temper rising. He was fiercely proud of his acrobatic abilities and anyone that called them into question, or boasted they were better, royally got under his skin. “Let’s do this!” he said and rolled up his sleeves and started bouncing on his feet excitedly. “Let’s go protein shake! Right now! Let’s go down and see who can hang the longest.”

“I accept this challenge,” Thor said and folded his arms before him as he stood there, just as upset and stubbornly proud.

“Ugh,” Loki sighed and rolled his eyes. “ _Please_ don’t do this.”

“Come on!” Clint said and started for the door. Thor followed quickly, not wanting to show anything other than his confident eagerness to win.

“How did this start?” Loki asked as he closed his eyes and rubbed at his temples.

“Thor was flexing his muscles; Clint made a comment about his; he flexed his; Thor made fun of him; he got pissed and started bragging; Thor said he could do it too and was unimpressed; and you walked in on the end,” Darcy said as she rose from the bed. “Hey did you know Clint was in the circus?”

“Really?” Jane said surprised.

“Yeah, he did trapeze stuff,”

“Don’t they wear spandex leotards?” Jane giggled.

“They do,” Darcy laughed as well.

Loki smiled and nodded. “He still has it.”

“What?”

“No way!”

“I found it in the wash, he hid it when he saw me looking at it.” He shrugged. “I’ve never bothered to look for it again.”

“I have to see them be idiots,” Darcy decided and started for the door. “Who’s with me?” she asked.

“Might as well,” Loki sighed. “Then if something happens I’m there to stop it or help make it better.”

“I’ve got nothing else,” Jane shrugged.

They made an event of it, bringing down chairs and setting up TV trays with food and drinks for them to snack on as they watched Thor and Clint make fools of themselves. Jane brought some light work to muse and tinker over, Loki brought his knitting, and Darcy ate and played on the StarkPad she’d been loaned. Her chair was a reclining lawn one, so she had the best view, leaning back with her semi-transparent screen. She could keep an eye on the action above while keeping herself busy playing some game that required her to match up pieces of the same colour to rid the board of all the bubbles.

“What’s this?” Natasha asked as she came in.

“Clint and Thor being stupid,” Darcy replied.

“And no one thought to call me?” she laughed and hurried over. “What’s it this time?”

“They both think they are the best at hanging upside down for the longest,” Loki explained.

“How long have they been up?”

“Long enough for us to stand there and watch until we got hungry enough to order pizza and then eat it,” Darcy said and won the game she was playing. She started a new one.

“There is some still if you wish,” Loki said and indicated the boxes on the ground behind their chairs. “The boys became upset when we left them out in their line of sight.”

“Oh boo,” she pretend to cry for a moment and then hurried around to get a slice. “Oh man it’s stone cold. You’ve been here a while.” She popped up and started eating a piece as she observed the two. They were on a trapeze bar a piece, legs hooked over, and bodies relaxed as they gently sung with the natural rhythm of the earth. Thor had his arms hanging freely but Clint has his hands clasped near his belly. His eyes were closed and if Loki hadn’t known better, he would have thought him peacefully sleeping.

“Hey what’s going on?” Steve asked coming in.

“Thor and Clint are doing stupid shit,” Natasha explained.

“Oh,” Steve said and took a moment to look the two over. “Is that pizza I smell?” he said sniffing the air.

The others nodded and offered him some. He took a slice and joined in their party.

“Alright,” Natasha said. “Who wants to bet Thor falls on his ass?”

Loki and Darcy raised their hands.

“Jane?”

“I’m…going to bet Clint falls,” she decided.

“Okay, Steve?”

“I’m not betting,” he shook his head. “I don’t have enough cash after the other day.”

“Yeah you robbed them all blind!” Darcy laughed.

“It is the most cliché plot twist in Hollywood,” she sighed rolling her eyes. “They should have seen it coming. The beginning of the movie practically had it plastered all over the place.”

“Yeah but Thor and Steve wouldn’t have seen it coming even if someone had it written on a sign around their neck and danced naked in front of them,” Clint added.

“I can see all things,” Thor insisted.

Loki rolled his eyes and leaned back in his seat.

“I would think I’d be distracted if someone danced naked before me,” Darcy decided. “Take me a bit before reading the sign.”

“I probably would walk away,” Jane chuckled. “Too awkward.”

“I’d join,” Clint said.

“I would join first,” Thor stubbornly shot back.

Loki rolled his eyes again and sighed very loudly and very hard. “You’re making it difficult to love you,” he muttered.

“ _But you still do_ ,” Clint sang smugly.

“Better be careful,” Natasha warned him. “You bought all those toys, now Loki doesn’t need you.”

“Yeah and he has the cats,” Darcy added. “Really he’s living the dream, with or without you.”

Loki chuckled and waited a bit, letting a small bit of doubt seep into the archer before reminding him with their connection that he did love him an although he did have the toys and kittens, he would be lost without him.

Several hours later Loki was done. “Clint come down for bed,” Loki sighed trying to keep his irritation back. It was almost midnight and the two were still hanging, barely holding on.

“I’m good,” he said. He sounded it, but Loki could feel he was tired. He did look in better shape that his brother though. Thor’s face was bright red and he hadn’t been responding to questions in a timely manner for a while.

“I know you are, but can’t we all just agree that you both are evenly matched in this area?”

“Nope,”

Loki sighed heavily and sat back down. He’d finished several socks waiting for their stupid pissing contest to run its course. He was tired. He had been tired after the first five minutes and he was exhausted over it all now.

“They’ve been up there a long time, doesn’t that do brain damage?” Darcy asked; her StarkPad now abandoned in favour of playing cards with Steve.

“Nothing those two won’t miss,” Natasha muttered.

Loki chuckled. “In short periods, hanging inverted has health benefits; at this length, I’m just impressed Clint hasn’t passed out.”

“Thor might be,” Natasha pointed out.

“I believe he is actually snoozing,” Loki said honestly. As if to help prove Loki correct: Thor gave a small snort and opened his eyes, quickly looking around is if he’d been startled out of a dream.

“Ah…” he said looking at Clint. “Still… _hanging_ in there I see.”

Clint chuckled. “Yep. You through yet?”

“Nay. You?”

“I’m pretty comfortable,”

Loki rolled his eyes and let out a long sigh. He picked up his double point needles and chose the fine black yarn from the basket he’d brought. He figured he might as well start something that would take a little longer since they were obviously going to be there still. He began casting on, silently counting as he slipped a little more than a dozen onto his needles at a time and then joined them in the round.

“Another sock?” Jane asked.

“Yes,” he sighed. “Much finer than the others, but those are more for keeping warm at night or protecting your feet during the colder months in hard boots.”

“My mother can only knit ugly misshapen sweaters and pillow covers with crosses on them,” Darcy said.

“Is that what she sent last Christmas?” Jane asked.

“Yes,”

“I thought it was something she’d found and accidently sent to you.”

“Nope, that nasty puke green and pink wool thing was meant to be worn,” she shivered. “I have nightmares about it. I’m really glad we burned it.”

“What the fuck?” Fury asked when he walked in, duffle bag in hand and a pair of goggles on his head.

“Boys trying to prove themselves,” Loki supplied quickly. “They’ve been at it for hours, so you haven’t missed anything.”

“Dumbass motherfuckers,” Fury sighed and shook his head as he continued on toward the changing room.

“It’s like watching Nascar,” Darcy said putting down some cards. “They start and they make a left turn. You go to the bathroom and come back and they are still making a left turn. You go visit your cousin across the country, come back, and – oh what, they’re still making a left turn!” she gasped in feigned surprise.

“Sounds rather droll,” Loki said. “Much like the chariot races or sports the Asgardians entertain themselves with seasonally.”

“What your least favourite one?”

“The log throwing one. It’s brutish and boring.”

“The caber tossing is a tradition,” Thor said pointing down at Loki, rather upset. “You are just against it because you have not the strength to compete in any of the levels.”

“Yes, because I’ve always longed to toss a tree across the yard,” he rolled his eyes. “I’d much rather be doing more productive things.”

“Caber tossing is a productive thing,” Thor muttered unhappily, still defending what seemed to be his most favourite game.

“How?” Darcy asked curiously.

“It shows a man’s strength,” Thor nodded firmly.

“To many Asgardians, being overly strong is considered appealing,” Loki explained.

“You don’t think so?” Darcy asked.

“Strength can be appealing,” he said honestly and looked at Clint fondly. “But strength comes in many forms and overly beefy sweaty men throwing things around doesn’t do it for me.”

“But you’re Team Captain Damn-That-Ass,”

Steve’s face turned red and they all laughed.

“He is an exception; besides his physique is much more pleasing on the eyes than most of the brutes that show up to show off at those sporting events.” Loki shifted in his seat a little. “Apologies if such comments make you feel uncomfortable Captain.”

“It’s fine,” Steve said honestly. “I’d just never heard that one before.”

“I’ve started a hashtag on twitter,” Darcy nodded. “People get really great shots of you when you’re fighting.”

“Really?” he asked surprised.

“Yeah,” Darcy said and pulled out her phone to show him.

Steve stared at them for a moment, his cheeks turning pink again. “They’re just of my…butt.”

“Well yeah,” she said in an obvious tone and rolled her eyes. “It’s Hashtag Team Captain Damn-That-Ass, no spaces, or Hashtag TeamCDTA. What did you think I meant when I said that?”

“Like…regular pictures?” he tried still blushing.

“That one’s nice,” Natasha said pointing one out.

Steve tilted his head a bit. “You think?”

“I’d frame it and hang it on the wall,”

Steve laughed. “I don’t know how I feel about that.”

“If it’s the one I’m thinking of, I’d put it near the door so I could slap it before I left the room every day,” Clint added.

Steve’s blush deepened and Natasha shot a look up at the archer that was part amusement and part firm disappointment.

“You’re not upset by that?” Jane asked Loki curiously.

“By what?” he asked confused.

“The comment Clint just made,”

“Oh,” he shrugged. “I wouldn’t let him do it, but I can’t deny that I don’t admire the idea.”

“Loki’s like the perfect boyfriend,” Darcy began. “Cooks, cleans, loves cats, isn’t jealous or overly possessive about stupid things, goes shopping, and from what I’ve overhead is great in bed.”

“Damn right he is,” Clint said with a Cheshire cat sized pleased grin.

Loki blushed and chuckled. Steve looked at Natasha and they smiled at one another.

“You’re perfect for me,” she said and she wrapped her arms around his neck.

“Yeah?” he asked bashfully.

“Yeah,” she leaned her head on his shoulder for a moment and then moved back and aggressively punched it, obviously still new and a tad bit uncomfortable still with the romantic mushy parts of sharing real feelings. It made Steve laugh amused regardless.

“I think I like this one best,” he said pointing to a photo that also had Natasha in the background. She had her legs wrapped around an assailants neck and was focused on flipping him. It was actually a great shot of her in action, perfectly timed so her face wasn’t overly contorted, but still had a serious primal feminine power to it.

“Mmm, yes you would,” she teased.

They both laughed and he handed the phone back to Darcy.

“Threes?” Darcy asked taking up her cards again.

Steve checked his. “Go fish.”

“Damn,” she hissed.

“Fives?” he asked her.

She sighed and gave her one five over. “Stop using your special eyes to peak on my cards,” she warned unhappily.

“I’m not,” he said confused. “I can’t see your cards at all.”

“Ahuh, sure.”

\-------------------------------------------------

Loki was snoozing when he felt it. He shot up and held his hands out just as a body dropped from the ceiling. He slowed the decent and gently lowered them to the ground. “Clint?” he asked worriedly and JARVIS brought the lights up slowly.

“I’m good,” the archer said confidently from above.

“Oh Norns!” Loki sighed and he realised the person he’d caught was his brother. “Thor?” he asked as he knelt before him.

“What’s wrong?” Natasha asked as her and Steve shot up from the couch. They had moved one of them down when they realised it was going to be an all-night even. Darcy was curled up asleep on the floor and Jane was just stirring from the lounge chair.

“Thor?” he asked and shook him a little. He was about to call for Banner to be sent for when a thunderous snore came from his brother. It made him jump and then start softly laughing to relieve the nervous tension that had built up inside of him. “He’s just asleep,” he sighed and held a hand to his heart.

“He was asleep before though,” Steve frowned confused and rubbed the sleep from his eyes.

“Thor can sleep just about anywhere, but when he is really out is when he turns into an immovable useless log.” Loki rubbed at his forehead. “You stupid oaf…” he whispered down to the sleeping god.

“He didn’t land like that, did he?” Steve asked worriedly.

“No, I caught him and slowed his decent.”

The others gave a sigh of relief.

“So Clint wins?” Jane asked.

“I’m very certain he’s been stuck and just hasn’t found his balls to ask for help,” Natasha said looking up at the archer.

“I know where they are,” Clint shot down at her. “They’re in my throat,” he said and moved a little. “And I’m not stuck; I just…really can’t feel my legs…”

“So, you’re stuck,” she said again.

“Not stuck, just numb.”

“Stuck,” she nodded rolling her eyes. “Jarvis, please lower him down.”

“As you wish,”

“I’m not stuck,” Clint insisted stubbornly.

“I’ll be surprised if your legs aren’t purple,” she said and moved to stand to the side of where he was being lowered. When his head was almost to the ground she held up a hand. “That’s good Jarvis, thank you.”

“Not at all ma’am,”

“Come on,” she sighed and bent down. Clint stiffly reached to put an arm around her neck. Loki came around to help take the other side.

“Careful,” he winced as they slowly raised him to a better angle. “Uhhhh…” he sighed and blinked tears from his eyes.

“Your face is the reddest I’ve ever seen it,” Natasha laughed at him.

“I can think again…” he sighed and glanced down at his feet. “God I really hope they’re not purple.”

“They’re not,” Loki promised. “Just severely numb. I was keeping watch over you, since you couldn’t be bothered to act reasonably.”

“Thanks,” he huffed. “Oh! OH NO!” he cried and wiggled a bit. “Oh god! It hurts!”

“What?” Jane asked worriedly.

“Y’know when your foot goes numb and then sometimes there are these sharp pins and needles?” Clint said.

“Yeah,”

“Imagine that, but from your toes to your ass,” he hissed. “And instead of pins and needles it’s knives and axes.” He groaned miserably. “Just cut my lower half off.”

“I don’t like that idea at all,” Loki said, trying to remain firm in his disapproval over his actions, yet still sympathetic to his pain, while not laughing at how ridiculous he looked as he struggled to wiggle a bit.

“It’ll be fine, I still have my mouth,” he grinned.

“Clint,” Natasha said seriously.

“Yeah?”

“What did I tell you an hour ago?”

“I’ve used up my naughty points for the day.”

“So that means?”

“No more sexy talking,”

“So last warning: one more sex comment and I’ll drop you,”

“Yes ma’am,” he gave a small stiff salute.

It took a bit, but they safely reintroduced him to a proper vertical seated positon. Loki gently massaged feeling back into Clint’s legs and checked his toes and feet for damage. Nothing permanent: just an over sensitivity from the prolonged lack of regular blood flow and a stiffness in his body from not moving for hours. He would recover in no time.

“My back feels great,” he said optimistically as Loki helped him slowly stand. His legs wobbled but he stayed upright.

“What do we do with him?” Jane asked indicating Thor.

“He’ll be fine,” Loki promised. “Just throw a blanket over him.”

“I’ll get Darcy,” Steve said and went over to carefully pick her up. She moaned a little, but curled up in his arms and promptly fell back asleep. Natasha took the blanket they’d been using on the couch and tossed it over Thor. They gathered what they could and headed upstairs, leaving the rest for later.

Clint and Loki struggled up the stairs.

“Do you wish me to carry you?” Loki said.

“Please,” he sighed and hopped up into his arms, letting his legs hang loose around his waist. Loki hefted him up higher and cupped him under his rear before he continued on up. “I wish I had the energy to make a suggestive comment,” he grumbled in Loki’s shoulder.

The god laughed. “Well whatever you were looking to get out of this senseless contest, I hope you found it.”

“I didn’t really think he was going to do it,” he admitted miserably. “I also didn’t think Thor _could_ do it.”

“I didn’t think he would last that long, but when he makes up his mind he’s as stubborn as red wine stains on fresh white linens.”

“Don’t let me do something like this again,” he begged and felt the tingling start up again in the bottom of his foot.

“We both know that as hard as I will try, and I _will_ try, you’ll still be moved to do the impossibly stupid for the sake of it all.”

“Will you love me any less for it?”

“Never darling,” he promised and kissed him before opening the door to their room.

“You are the perfect fiancé,” he whispered sleepily.

Loki smiled proudly and helped get him into bed.

\-------------------------------------------------

The next few days were fairly quiet. The weather prevented them from going out to do regular watches around the city, but no one seemed to mind. The weather also seemed to prevent criminals from wanting to blow up and tear down any buildings too, so they took advantage of the gifted quiet free-time. No one loved it as much as Clint though.

He sighed as he lay snuggled against Loki’s back, his hands holding him close and his nose buried in his hair, which he’d taken out of its braid so he could cover his face with. “I love this…” he whispered and tried to scoot closer to the god. There really wasn’t much more he could go; he was already tucked flush against him. Loki suspected it was either to make him aware of just how close they were or just in need to remind himself. Regardless he smiled and sighed contently. It was warm and comfortable in their bed with the blankets pulled up to their chins. The kittens were wiggling under the covers at their feet for a better sleeping position; the drapes were pulled to show the falling snow as it danced toward the ground; and he was safe, healthy, and happy with the love of his life on a beautiful morning.

Clint moved Loki’s hair out of his face and bent to press a kiss to his shoulder. “I can sleep in…the weather keeps me from having to trance around the city…and even when I do, I can come back and canoodle with you.”

Loki chuckled at that. “Canoodle?” he said the strange word.

“Yeah, y’know: to caress, kiss, hug, hold, pet, fondle…make love,” he whispered dropping the octave of his voice as he gently bit at Loki’s ear.

The god moaned with a frown and reached up to wave his mouth away from his earlobe. “Don’t,” he pouted a little.

“ _Don’t_ ,” he teasingly mocked as he leaned on him more.

“Clint,” he whined trying not to smile as the archer kept putting his weight on him, forcing him to roll onto his stomach.

“ _Clint_ ,” he teased again.

“I’m going to slap you and banish you from the bed,” he warned in a grumpy manner.

“You know how much I love to be spanked,” he giggled.

Loki internally rolled his eyes; the will to do much sapped from him as the dim morning light and peaceful atmosphere the snow created made him lethargic in a calm manner.

“Are you falling asleep while I’m trying to seduce you?” Clint asked a little offended.

“I’m sleepy,” he explained in a small voice as he wiggled down under the covers a tiny bit.

“And I’m horny,” he declared and gently kissed along the god’s shoulders. “And it’s my day off…”

“It’s everyone’s day off,” he pointed out, trying to hide how Clint’s actions excited him.

Clint sighed and pressed a chaste kiss to the back of Loki’s neck before burying his face back into his soft fragrant hair. “We’ll sleep then.”

Loki shifted his bottom back into Clint’s pelvis a little more and slowed his breathing, putting him back to the edge of sleep.

“Cheater…” Clint whispered. Loki’s mouth twitched, trying to form a pleased smirk.

They slept peacefully for a few more hours. The cats shuffling around under the covers, looking for a way out, woke them. The noise of them running and playing with the bell balls kept them from drifting off again.

Clint kissed Loki’s shoulder and ran his hands down his sides. “Are you still sleepy?”

“Yes,” he said truthfully and stretched a bit with a sigh, “But not as much.”

“Great, because I don’t know if you can feel it…” he began.

“Oh I can feel it,” Loki chuckled and stretched a bit more. Clint’s hips jerked forward into his rear more and he moaned in delight. “Clint,” he sighed and went to face him.

“Stay like this,” he whispered, and continued to kiss Loki’s neck, upper back, and shoulders as his hands soothed and rubbed the god down, keeping him close. He started rolling his hips a bit and Loki joined him, sighing and brushing his hair off his neck so the archer would be tempted to kiss more of it.

Clint did and ran his hand down Loki’s front and cupped him. The god exhaled and let his eyes flutter close as his hand came down to hold Clint’s. He recalled the last time they had been in this position and he shivered as a thrill ran through him. He opened his mouth and let out soft sighs as they moved their hips forward together; their hands still holding his member while Clint’s hard-on stayed firmly pressed between his cheeks. Loki let his hand slide down a little further and brushed it through his thighs, opening his legs a bit more with a needy groan.

Clint exhaled in his ear and brought his other hand up to trace lazily around Loki’s nipple. The god sighed and stretched his legs a bit as he savoured the sensations. Clint’s legs bumped his back up to where they had been a moment before and he let go of his length in favour of moving his hand further down and around; gently rubbing at the god’s hole. It was a slow sensual spiral motion from the very centre to just at the outer rings of the muscles and it made Loki tighten up and then relaxed with a delicious moan of satisfaction. He arched a little away from Clint and touched the hand that was still gently tracing around his one nipple. Clint let their fingers lace together and he brushed the backs of their fingers along Loki’s body; a slow gentle stroke down, and then dragged them back up, letting the tips follow and drag along the curves of his figure.

“Clint…” he breathed and turned his face a bit; the archer’s nose brushed his cheek as he kissed his jaw. He pulled his mouth back slowly, his lips sticking to Loki’s skin briefly as if they couldn’t bear the thought of leaving it. Clint turned his eyes upon him then; his mouth just parted as he stared at him with a deep and unyielding desire. The intensity made the god’s insides heat and he moaned again, turning his face to hide some of the noise in the pillow along with a blush.

“I wanna hear you,” he whispered and leaned into the god a bit.

Loki lifted his head and repeated the moan as best as he could. He reached down and put his fingers over the ones slowly rubbing his hole and activated the lubrication spell. Clint kissed his throat and moved his hand around to get at him from the back and gently rubbed from this new angle; the slightly cool touch of the lubricant made Loki jump a bit, but he soon relaxed and sighed as it made his lover’s touch smoother upon his sensitive hole.

Clint took his time warming him up before gently pushing his fingers in. Loki’s hole was relaxed enough that he could fit his first two fingers in up to the first knuckle without having to really work him. He gently moved them in and out, only putting a little bit of pressure to help ease them further in when he knew he was ready. Loki moaned and countered Clint’s fingers; pushing back when he pushed in and relaxed his body, hoping for more.

His skin broke into gooseflesh as he pulled at his hair a bit as Clint’s fingers went a little deeper. Clint kissed along his jaw and pulled a bit at his nipple with his free hand. Loki hissed and tightened his fingers, which had been loosely laced with Clint’s, and took their hands away from his chest. The archer moved his mouth down his neck and pushed his fingers in until he couldn’t any more. Loki moaned deeply and pushed himself back into Clint for more.

“Do you want me to keep teasing you?” he whispered in his ear, his voice having dropped into that deep rich baritone that set his sense on fire.

“No,” he gasped. “Please…”

Clint kissed his ear and then began to gently open his fingers, scissoring him opened as he twisted and pulled them in and out to make sure that he could accept his girth easily. Loki rolled his hips to help him along and turned his head to kiss him, moaning all the while.

Clint eased a third finger in after a while and began speeding up his ministrations, ignoring his own desires to slow down and really make his lover sweat. Loki was already panting loudly, he didn’t think he’d last such attention this time around. One of the cats jumped on Clint but he shrugged them off. They tried again so he decided to ignore them in favour of mouthing along Loki’s shoulder.

“Clinton…” he sighed and gripped the pillow with a free hand as he tried leaning to roll onto his stomach.

Clint stopped him again and removed his hand, stroking himself a little and slipped it between his cheeks. “Like this,” he whispered in his ear and reached down to lift his leg up. “Help me…” he exhaled.

Loki reached between his legs and helped guide Clint to hole. He slipped in the first few inches easily; both of them sighing with relief and content. Loki adjusted how the pillow under his head lay and gripped it with both of his hands as he shifted his body down, indicating Clint could start moving.

He did, trying to go a little faster than he probably should have.

“Fuck!” Loki gasped and let out a deep rich moan as he brushed against his prostate and sank deeper into him.

“There we go baby…” he huffed with a pleased smile and shifted his hand a little further up the god’s thigh. The action made Loki jerk and tense up a bit, his muscles pushing Clint out a bit. He didn’t try and thrust as deeply when he went in again, just enough to keep pleasuring him, but ever mindful of his comfort.

“Deeper,” Loki begged in a soft whisper.

“Relax,” he reminded gently and kissed the top of his shoulder.

Loki tightened up again as the action made something deep within him surrender. He felt himself relax more than he had before and he lay at Clint’s mercy. The archer began moving in firm measured strokes that made his toes curl and his body tingle. He moaned; eyes half closed as he reached with one hand to pull at the sheets and the other back to rest upon Clint’s cheek as he tilted his face over his shoulder to look at him a bit.

The archer kept that slow pace for a bit before slowly starting to speed up again. He shifted a bit, turning his hips a little to help give him the momentum he needed. Loki moaned and panted, trying to rock with him, but found that the angle hindered him from really helping much. Clint paused, lowering Loki’s leg, and shifted more so he was on his knees. The blanket fell away from them and made Loki shiver. He tucked his legs up closer to his chest for warmth. Clint steadied himself with a hand on his thigh as he held himself and re-entered him.

Loki moaned deeply and moved his hair from his face as he lay and watched Clint. He was covered in sweat from being under the covers; the way it ran down his chest, being caught along the lines of his stomach muscles made Loki’s mouth water and heat flare within him. He reached out to touch him, running his hand down his front, letting it come to rest at the top of his manhood. The feel of his hand being pressed into his rear when Clint rolled his hips forward made Loki’s stomach tighten with desire. He let his fingers dance back up as high as he could reach, and stared at him with a pleading expression.

Knowing what he wanted, Clint bent forward so that Loki could reach up to grab his hair. The god did and pulled him down for a kiss, both of them humming. Loki kept him there, controlling the kiss with his eagerness and fingers tightly laced in the archer’s hair; biting at his bottom lip impatiently to try and spur him into moving faster. Clint set a hand on the other side of Loki to steady himself and started moving faster.

Loki gasped, not able to kiss him the way he wanted, yet not ready to surrender his closeness away. He pressed their foreheads together and huffed as each movement the archer made caused his body to ripple with pleasure. He let out a breathy exhale and arched a bit as his eyes fluttered with a sharp intense spike that shot down to his groin.

Clint watched him, unable to take his eyes off the tortured serene look upon the god’s face. He loved the way Loki huffed and moaned, moving under him for some sort of added stimulation; how his hands gripped the sheets and flitted around completely at a loss as to what to do with them; his head leaning to the side and his eyes closing as he concentrated on the feel of their coupling.

It was a fairly quiet event; even for how hard Clint was starting to pound into him, Loki didn’t find the need to be overly vocal in his usual manner. He felt the soft sighs and moans suited the intimate sensuality of that snowy morning. The sound of their skin coming together was enough to fill the empty spaces when he was left breathless and at a loss as to how to verbalise his enjoyment.

Clint paused for a moment. He straightened and brushed his hair from his face before leaning down to kiss him and returning to lay on his side behind him. They moved so that Loki was wrapped in Clint’s arms, his legs still bent. He adjusted his head on the pillow again as Clint scooted up behind him and pushed back in. Loki moaned and reached down to set his hand on the archer’s hip. One of Clint’s arms remained holding him across his chest while the other soothed along his legs, side, hips, stomach; anywhere he could reach to touch while he moved in and out of him.

The angle was too perfect and Loki found himself nearing the edge of that wonderful abyss. He laced the fingers of his one hand with the one Clint’s had across his chest and pulled at his hip, urging him on for more. Clint obliged and Loki’s breath caught. He moaned a little louder and bit his bottom lip.

Clint kissed his shoulders, neck, and jaw; taking a moment between each kiss to watch the god’s face. Loki’s brows furrowed and he groaned, the sound growing a little louder as Clint continued to pound on into him.

The archer’s free hand moved down to take him in hand, keeping an eye on his face as he began jerking him off. “That’s it baby,” he whispered and licked his lips eagerly. “Come on…”

Loki huffed and groaned; putting a hand to his forehead before setting it over Clint’s to help him get him off.

“Is this good?” Clint panted. “Is it deep enough?”

Loki nodded and moaned a little louder. Clint tilted his hips up a little and let go of the god’s length to pull his one leg open and up. Loki let out a small huffing cry and then shouted, his eyes going wide as this position offered him a smoother and deeper angle that opened the way up for his length to hit his sweet spot.

“Keep it just like that,” Clint breathed and kissed the side of his face. “Just like that,” he repeated and returned his hand to his member and went back to the pace as he had been going before. Loki arched against him and grew louder with his noises until he was whimpering; his mouth opened a little and his hands gripping Clint’s desperately.

The archer gave a few more firm strokes to his length and thrusted up hard. He felt the god’s body shiver and then his muscles started rapidly squeezing him as he let slip a deep heady moan that expressed his satisfaction perfectly.

Clint hissed and pushed himself up into the god as he came, the sensation causing Loki to shiver again and moan; his body giving a small jerk as he drifted in the peaceful bliss his orgasm brought him. The archer kissed his shoulder and slowly rolled his hips, pulling more sighs and delicious full-body shivers from Loki, until he could no longer. His flaccid member slipped out of him and they lay catching their breath, unmoving for a while.

Loki was the first to. He ran his fingers through his hair, licking his lips, and shifted just enough so that he was lying on his back and could turn his head to see Clint. They smiled at one another.

“What a wonderful morning,” Loki sighed, looking at the ceiling. “I amend that,” he said as he closed his eyes and shivered a little as another delicious wave slipped down him. “Sensational.”

“Yeah?” he laughed and adjusted how he lay on his side, putting an arm around his lover and pulled him in closer; peppering slow loving kisses along his neck and jawline.

Loki hummed and held onto Clint’s arm. “Spectacular, remarkable, phenomenal…”

“You keep describing yourself, I’m waiting for my turn,” he commented with a sly grin.

Loki laughed and turned his face to look at him. “You…my darling are so…” he sighed at a loss for words.

Clint smiled at him and then kissed him. “Yeah…I feel the same about you,” he said, understanding what the god couldn’t voice. It was hard to. It was a feeling unlike anything he had never felt before and he highly didn’t that the English language had a word that could barely touch it.

They lay cooling off and sharing gentle kisses until Loki could no longer stand the sticky tightness of his skin. He got up, stretching and moaning as he did, before heading to the bathroom. The kittens followed him, playing around his feet. He heard Clint follow him and he made sure to add a sensual nature to his movements.

“You are just…so…ugh!” Clint sighed as he came up behind him and pressed kisses to his shoulders.

Loki smirked and then stepped out of his embrace. “Would you start the shower while I relieve myself?”

“Yeah,” Clint nodded and gave him a kiss before letting him go to do as he’d requested. He got the perfect temperature going and then aimed and urinated down the drain, groaning as the extra sensitivity to his member caused him equal parts discomfort and pleasure.

Loki chuckled and flushed, rinsing his fingers in the sink and stepped in after him. “You left the door opened,” he reminded.

“Yeah…” he sighed as he watched Ast prance around the bottom of the shower happily. Jareth hung back by the door, putting up a paw and hesitating before pulling it back. “You coming man?” he asked as he went to the door. “We gotta close this,” he explained.

Jareth meowed.

“Yeah, come on.”

Jareth looked forward, wiggled his butt a bit, and leapt in. He instantly regretted it, but Clint had shut the door so his only escape was running to the far corner where the water didn’t hit as often. Ast rolled around the floor and stretched contently.

Clint watched as Loki wet his hair. “Hm,” he said shaking his head as he looked him up and down.

“Yes?” he said looking at him; running a hand down his face to get some of the water away from dropping into his eyes.

“You’re so sexy,” he replied with a casual shrug and grabbed their loofa.

Loki’s face heated up and he bashfully looked away. They took turns soaping and rinsing off, mindful to not drop soap onto the kittens. Jareth had warmed up to the constant spray of the water and was playing with Ast. When the two were done, Loki shut the water off and stepped out, accepting the towel Clint held out for him. He left the door opened so the kittens could follow.

Jareth meowed loudly and unhappily. Ast meowed louder and much more unhappily than his brother before hurrying out. Loki wrapped the towel around his waist and took another before grabbing up the cat and rubbing him down. Ast fidgeted until he was comfortable in Loki’s arms and began licking himself.

“Feel better?” he asked the kitten.

Ast meowed, still not fully happy at having his water-play time cut short, but he was content enough being snuggled.

Clint dashed after Jareth as the kitten made a break for the bedroom. He nearly slipped and landed on his ass, but thankfully Loki had gone out and bought a few bath mats and had strategically set them up to avoid such a catastrophe. He grabbed the kitten by the scruff and then swaddled him in the towel. Jareth fought him; wanting to be wet and free in the world.

“Not until you’re a little dryer,” he scolded as he struggled to hold him as he rubbed at his body through the towel.

“Jareth, do you want brushes?” Loki said excitedly. The kitten stilled and perked up, looking at him excitedly. “Do you want brushes?” he said again.

Jareth meowed and wiggled to get out and go to the counter where Loki had moved to. Clint took him over and set him down on it. The kitten went over and batted at Loki.

“Okay,” he beamed and set Ast, still wrapped up in the fluffy towel, on the counter and pulled open the drawer to retrieve the brush for the Bengal. “Here we go,” he said and moved the kitten’s paws from his wrist. The kitten pulled at his arm again and then turned around; padding in a circle excitedly in the space between the two sinks. He chirped impatiently and stared at Loki intently.

Clint busied himself trimming his beard and shaving his face to maintain it and then did a little maintenance under the belt while Loki brushed Jareth down until he was rendered a motionless purring lump on the counter. Loki brushed down Ast with his own special ‘brush’ when the cat had emerged from his towel and then took up scissors and his own hair brush to straighten his hair before it frizzed and waved out.

He hummed as he examined the ends.

“What?” Clint asked as he cleaned up his mess.

“I’m not satisfied with how these Midgardian products are treating my hair. This is the second time I’ve had to trim the ends, and they are split again…” he said studying them.

“Boo,” he frowned.

“Indeed,” he said and snipped the ends. Clint winced watching him, but he knew that in order to maintain such a length, great care had to be taken to ensure it was the healthiest. “I’m going to do a little research for better products. I don’t enjoy the texture my hair becomes a few hours after I wash it…and I have to wash it more often!” he sighed heavily. “On Asgard I bathed perhaps once a week, now here I’m in the shower or tub regularly or else my hair is an oily mess.”

“Once a week?” he asked curiously.

“Yes, that’s the standard norm,” he replied and snipped a few more spots on the other side of the part he’d created and then looked at his reflection to trim up and even it all out.

“What happens if you get all sweaty and gross?”

“You rinse down,” he replied simply. “I generally sponged off every other morning or evening depending upon my activities that day.”

“Hm,” he mused and then stood naked before the mirror and looked himself over. “Yeah?” he asked Loki and gestured to himself.

Loki glanced at him and smiled. “You know my answer.”

“Yeah, but I’ve deforested,” he said gesturing to his groin.

“Clinton, love, your hair there has never been a problem before.”

“Yeah, but that’s because I upkeep it. I’ve been lazy this past week,”

“Well it didn’t bother me and I know it certainly won’t now,” he laughed and pulled his hair back and turned to examine it from over either shoulder. “There,” he decided and cleaned up his mess.

“I wonder why you don’t have as much hair,” Clint mused.

“What do you mean?” Loki asked.

“I mean, Jotunheim; it’s like a land of snow and really cold. Wouldn’t evolution have made you all furry to combat it?”

Loki shrugged. “Perhaps evolution took a different turn and made Jötunns adapted for the cold without the need for more body hair?”

“Hm,” Clint nodded and slipped his arms around the god, kissing his shoulder. “Well, super hairy or just as you are, I love you.”

Loki laughed and helped Jareth off the counter. “And I you,” he replied and turned to give him a kiss. “Now, I’m hungry,” he stated and started for their closet. “Clean up your mess.”

“It is clean,” he whined a little.

Loki looked at the sink and then at Clint. “Clean up your mess or I won’t let you have me again later.”

Clint hurried to finish fully cleaning up the sink properly without any more protesting.

\-------------------------------------------------

Clay sat in the cold metal plated room, staring down at the table as he sat a little slouched in the chair. He hadn’t said a word since the black van had pulled up before him the other morning. He’d let them get the jump on him even, knowing full well why he was being taken in. They were getting too close to the deadline for their plans; they needed to insure every one of their top agents were loyal to the cause and wouldn’t screw anything up. He had been anticipating it for a while. He wondered what the hell had taken them so long. This was cutting it real slim…

“Interesting conversations you have,” Sitwell said as he came into the room. He was looking at something in a file he was holding. He shut the door behind him and set the stack onto the table near Clay. “‘I know something is about to go down. What is it?’…‘We’re supposed to be in this together’…‘I’m going dark for a bit…’,” he looked up at him, the brief flicker of disappointment in the depths of his eyes. “You don’t seem surprised.”

“I’ve been expecting this,” he said looking up at him.

“Have you?” he asked interested and slightly amused.

“Only an idiot wouldn’t,” he replied. “I came into this thing at the tail end of it being quiet; I never showed interest before either. In fact I’ve done and said everything to show I am not a fan of Hydra. So of course when I jumped at the opportunity to join, my new team player card was going to come with suspicions and paint a target on me.”

“I’m not suspicious,” Jasper said and sat on the table a little as he looked Clay over. “Not about you joining anyways, no. I’m suspicious as to why you’re pretending to date the Deputy Director.”

“Who says I’m pretending?”

“Clay,” he smiled sweetly at him. “How long have we known one another?”

“At least fifteen years,”

“So you don’t think I’d spot something off about you?”

“Probably,” he shrugged unconcerned. “Fifteen years is a long time, but we’ve never been particularly close so…”

Sitwell’s smile dropped and he looked up at something behind Clay with annoyance.

He felt hands upon him and then his head slammed onto the table. He tried not to struggle but the feel of something pressing into his side made him tense up and shift a little at the iron grip upon him.

“Who are you working for?” Sitwell asked seriously.

“Hydra,” Clay said and then bit back a cry when the object in his side went off and sent a painful shock into his body. It made him hyper aware of every bone in his person and all of his nerves felt as if they’d just blown out.

“Who are you working for?” Sitwell said again, this time calmly. Patiently even; almost as if he were settling in for a long marathon of Antiques Roadshow or something else just as mundane.

“Hydra,” Clay said again and braced himself for the shock this time. It wasn’t as much of a surprise so it took the edge off of the pain, but damn was it still awful!

“Is it Fury?”

“Hydra,” he said again and was surprised when his other side was shocked with a second taser. He hoped he hadn’t peed himself yet. He wasn’t as young as he used to be, so such extremes affected him differently now.

“See, I know these won’t work on you, because I approved your papers the last time you went through the capture testing to be approved for undercover field work,” he explained. “You endured a lot and stayed silent through it all. It was very impressive. This, this is just for me.” He smiled sadistically and Clay felt both tasers go off again.

He grunted a little and shifted as his body began twitching from the unwanted stimulation. It caused his lungs to freeze that time around and he struggled to breathe through it as his fingers and legs began jerking violently.

“Who are you working for?” he asked calmly when the tasers had ceased.

“Councilman Pierce,” Clay said. The shocking came again; this time lasting a few seconds longer than before.

“Who are you working for?”

“Councilman Pierce,” he said again and gritted his teeth. His body was trembling all over when they stopped and he began panting heavily; feeling his fingers twitching a little faster.

“Who are you working for?”

“Hail Hydra,” he decided to say that time. He braced himself.

The door opened.

“Jasper,” Pierce’s voice came. “What’s all this?” he asked surprised as he came in.

“Sir,” Sitwell said standing up. “We had not expected you for some time.”

“Well when I heard that Agent Quartermain had been taken in for questioning on suspicions of disloyalty I had to come see for myself,” he said and strode right over. “Back up guys, give him some space. We’re not actually S.H.I.E.L.D.; we’re Hydra. Let’s be humane,” he said shooing the people holding and torturing Clay away.

Clay stayed with his head on the table for a few moments and closed his eyes; breathing easy and deeply as he tried relaxing his body. He honestly couldn’t feel his limbs and his heart was rushing too quickly for his comfort.

“Easy now, just take your time,” Pierce said to him in a gentle voice. “Can someone get him something to drink? Thank you.”

“Sir,” Sitwell began.

“It can wait,” he said patiently.

“But sir,”

“I said it can wait,” he said firmly.

Sitwell remained quiet and took a few steps back.

Clay slowly sat up and resumed his slightly slouched position when he’d reigned in control of his heart and breathing to a normal tempo at least. His legs just barely bounced; more from the electricity still trapped in his body than from nervousness or anything. Pierce held a cup of water for him.

“Drink this,” he encouraged and didn’t wait for Clay to answer if he wanted it or not. He helped him drink half of it and then handed him a handkerchief for his bleeding nose before setting the cup aside. “Now…” he sighed and walked around to the chair across from Clay. “Let’s see what all the fuss is about,” he said as he sat. He pulled on a pair of glasses and began looking over the files.

Clay closed his hands a bit, noting how badly they still shook, and then worked on relaxing them as he waited.

“Hm, oh I see,” he nodded and opened another file. “Ah…well…” He opened another and looked over it. “Hm…” He looked up at Clay from over his glasses. “I guess you’re not aware of some of Hydra’s values.

“I’m aware Hydra is not very tolerant of people of colour,” Clay said, clearing his throat a little afterward and sniffed as he checked his nose to see if some of the blood flow had stopped.

“Well yes,” he nodded and pointed at one of the pages. “But I was referring more to the homosexual nature of your relationship with Wilson.”

“If it’s a problem I’ll end it,” he said blatantly.

“You will?” Pierce asked surprised.

“I’m bisexual,” he explained.

“There’s no such thing, but I understand what you’re trying to say,” Pierce said with a warm smile that made Clay a little uncomfortable. “Now…there are some moments where your conversations are unaccounted for… do you…want to tell me why?” he asked folding his hands together on the table as he gave him a patient open look.

“Some of them are when I was with him in person, sir,” he explained, knowing to hold back the harmless truthful parts of it would only do more damage than good for his cover. “Since Fury’s disappearance some of the higher level staff have become paranoid. They can sense something is wrong but they don’t know what. They’ve taken to monitoring when they’re being monitored.”

“And you have as well?”

“Yes, sir,”

“With this?” he asked pulling out the small scanner from his pocket.

It had been taken off of Clay not long after the black sack had been put over his head and he had been pressed into the wall and had his hands tied behind his back.

“Yes, sir,”

He leaned back in his chair with a shrug, “Why?”

“Appearance,” he claimed.

“Appearance?”

“Yes, sir,”

Pierce looked him over for a few long moments. “You’re good,” he said. “No wonder why you were Fury’s favourite.”

“I get the sense you don’t believe me.”

“You’re right,” he chuckled.  “Why did you let yourself be taken? You’re a good solider. You fight well.”

“I knew this was coming. I figured I’d give your guys a break and just let it happen.”

He nodded slowly, looking the files over for a few more moments before returning his attention to him. “So who do you work for?” he asked tilting his head a little.

“I work for the cause. Your cause. My cause. Hydra’s cause.”

“See, I almost believe you,” Pierce said sitting up. “I really want to,” he said honestly. “You’re a good man. A good agent. Misguided, but good.” He tapped the files. “Why are you pretending to be in a relationship with Wilson?”

“I wasn’t pretending,” he said automatically.

Pierce looked up past Clay for a brief moment. Clay felt someone grab a hold of his hair and he found his face slammed back into the table. This time though he was able to hold his hands out to absorb most of the blow. The person let him go and he waited a few moments before he slowly sat up.

“Why are you pretending to be in a relationship with Wilson?” Pierce said calmly. Sitwell stood behind him, a sickening joyful look in his eyes as he watched Clay be interrogated.

“Information,” Clay said, reluctantly giving in, not wanting to make it an all-night event. He knew to withhold such any longer would only make him more untrustworthy and ultimately ruin his position on that side.

“Information?” Pierce said intrigued. “What sort of information?”

“Anything that could be useful to the cause,” he continued. “Hill was very close to Fury. I wanted to see if she knew anything about him disappearing.”

“And?”

Clay was silent for a moment. He glanced at Sitwell.

“A moment please,” Pierce said to everyone in the room. The people behind Clay filed out the door quietly. “That means you too Jasper.”

Sitwell wasn’t pleased by this but he did as he was told.

“What do you know?” Pierce said once they were alone.

“Fury is with the Avengers,” he said. “As is Coulson.”

If Clay wasn’t an expert at reading people he would have missed the brief moment of surprise on the Councilman’s face. “How do you know this?”

“Hill had Wilson do private surveillance on them.”

“I know of such,” he nodded.

“It isn’t for the reasons you think. She had the cover of trying to find a weakness to exploit to start taking them in, but she was really keeping tabs to make sure they were safe.”

“How do you know that?”

“Same reason why I know you don’t know about her reinstating Project Falcon,”

Pierce raised a brow and then leaned back and thoughtfully sat for a few moments as he thought about what he’d just heard. “How long ago did she do this?”

“Not long,” he promised.

“Does he have access to the wings?”

“Several,” Clay explained. “He’s been teaching others too.”

“Do you have their names?”

“Not yet,” he shook his head slowly. “I was going to try again. He’s not very comfortable with me right now.”

“Why?”

“I haven’t been able to pretend well enough to get him to trust me. I’ve been too secretive. I don’t think I can get anything more out of him without being returned to a position where I was before when I first started.”

“That won’t happen, we’re too close to the deadline,” he said shaking his head. He was quiet for a few moments as he considered his words, studying him carefully. “I’m going to be honest with you. Sitwell doesn’t like you,” he said.

Clay smirked. “I couldn’t tell.”

Pierce laughed. “But I? Well I see great potential in you. Like I said, you’re a good guy. Misguided, but that can be easily fixed with some education. Unless it’s serious,” he added, sitting up a bit.

“What would make _it_ serious?” he frowned confused.

“If you really thought you were attracted to men. There is therapy for that. We can get you the help you need.”

His open and caring reassurance made Clay sick and he tried not to wince as he thought about what ‘help’ meant to him. “It’s not serious,” he promised.

“Good,” he nodded and relaxed in his chair. “So why did you not report this to me when it started happening?”

“Because I was the only one who knew about it,” he shrugged. “If their secret operation would have been blown not long after I had been told it would have lead back to me snitching about it. Trust isn’t a thing easily earned.”

“Yes,” he nodded, “which is why I’m a little confused as to why you’re giving out information so easily to me. It’s not like you.”

“I trust you, sir,” he said. “That’s why I sought you out.”

“I sought _you_ out,” he reminded.

Clay smirked a little. “Yes,” he nodded.

Pierce smiled. “Careful, some of the boys who have been at this longer don’t like attitudes like that.”

“I won’t be sorry for wanting to do my best for Hydra,” he said as honestly as he could muster.

“I know,” he grinned. “Which is why I’m giving you a new assignment,” he said and pushed a button on his watch. A female came in and gave him a red coloured file. He pushed the others towards her, indicating he wanted them collected and removed, as he set the red one in front of Clay. “Open it,” he encouraged.

Clay did and began reading it. He looked up at Pierce when he was finished reading the opening description. “It’s a bit of a risk doing something so open.”

“That’s why I need my best,” he smiled proudly. “Can I count on you to do it correctly?”

“Of course,” he replied and closed the file before glancing suspiciously at the woman.

“Oh don’t mind her,” he chuckled waving dismissively at the woman. “She won’t be around much longer to do anything. In fact,” he said and sat up, reaching behind him.

The woman’s eyes widened and she froze in place terrified.

“Do you want the honours?” Pierce asked as he pulled a gun out.

Clay shook his head. “I’m still twitchy from the taser. I wouldn’t want to miss and make a mess,” he explained, trying to remain dispassionate.

“Please,” the woman said dropping to her knees before them both. “I won’t say anything,” she begged, tears falling down her cheeks quickly. “Mr. Councilman, please!”

“Oh Grace,” he sighed sadly. “I will honestly miss you…it’s just…we can’t let freaks like you stay around,” he explained.

“Freaks?” she whispered confused.

“People who carry the mutant gene,” he clarified. “And you’re not the right fit for testing, so…” he quickly aimed and pulled the trigger. Grace dropped to the ground limply without a cry or anything.

Clay kept himself still as he watched it happen.

“Shame…she really was good at her job.”

“Indeed,” Clay nodded. “But…a mutant’s a mutant, even if the gene is recessive,” he sighed heavily; hoping the tiredness and regret in his voice was taken more for being exhausted by the idea of such a thing rather than being over the loss of an innocent life.

Pierce chuckled and set his gun down on the table. “I’m glad you agree. That’s why I chose you for this mission.”

“I’m honoured,” Clay said and forced himself to smile. His mouth twitched a little and he dropped it. “Sorry sir, my nerves…” he exhaled and forced his hand to start twitching a bit again.

“I’ll get you looked at,” Pierce said motioning towards him. “And I’ll have a talk with Jasper. We need you in top shape. This business could have waited,” he said gesturing around them at the room as he rose. Clay made to rise as well. “No, no sit. Rest yourself. I’ll send someone in to take you to the medical centre. Since you’re not likely to get anything more out of your thing with Wilson I suggest you break it off.”

“Yes, sir,” he nodded.

Pierce smiled and gave him a small wink. “Hail Hydra,” he said.

“Hail Hydra,” Clay said as passionately as he could.

Jasper came in a moment later. He looked the woman over. “What happened?” he asked gesturing to her.

“If Councilman Pierce didn’t tell you, it’s not my place to,” he said not looking at the woman or the jackass in the room.

Jasper narrowed his eyes at him. “He may trust you, but I don’t,” he said tightly.

“I don’t need your trust,” he said honestly. “I don’t work for you. I work for him and the cause.”

“I suppose she was part of the cause?” he said casually.

Clay looked down at the girl and then pulled on the best satisfied smile he could. “Again, it’s not my place,” he replied and looked at him. They stared at one another until someone came to fetch him with a medical issued wheelchair.

“You may be Pierce’s favourite now, but favourites change,” Jasper said as he held the door for Clay and the nurse.

“Yes, you’d know all about that,” he said smiling at him. “Bye Jaspie,” he said waving a little.

Jasper made to open his mouth and then glanced at the nurse. “Bye Quartermain,” he said tightly instead.

Clay settled into the chair as he was wheeled down the hall toward the medical centre. He lay later on, after he’d been shot up with something to help calm his nerves, trying to think of a way to warn Wilson and Hill without letting the people watching him onto what he was doing. He wished he would have thought of a code word or something before he had idiotically rushed into tackling this mission.

He was released in the morning after his face and sides had been healed perfectly and when he had gone a full two hours without randomly jerking or having a sudden trembling fit. He went to his quarters and packed a few things before locking them up and leaving again.

“There you are,” Sam said coming towards him from down the hall. “I’ve been trying to call you. Why aren’t you answering?”

“I’m busy,” he said and pushed the red folder further into his bag so it couldn’t be seen.

“Clay, I –”

“Look, can we not,” Clay said and made his tone as hard as he could.

“What?” Sam blinked a bit confused and then looked around. “Oh, okay,” he said and gave him a small smile. “Got you. I see you’re busy right now. I’ll hit your phone up later then.”

“Yeah…” he said as he pushed the button for the lift. “About that…so…I’m not a faggot.”

Sam blinked startled. “W-what?”

“I was just yanking your leg for a laugh. I had a bet going with some of the boys that I could convince you to come out and I won so…” he patted his breast pocket. “Thanks for the grand.”

Wilson’s eyes were wide. “Whoa! What!? Wait!”

“Lose my number and fuck off. You’re annoying, incompetent, and a risk to the whole of S.H.I.E.L.D. If I wasn’t such a loyal agent, I could have easily used you to squirrel information for our enemies.”

“Clay!” he gasped shocked.

“Your welcome for not being a jackass and spoiling everything.” He got into the lift and turned to stare at him. “I suggest you hit those grade school spy textbooks and stop being a whiny needy shit.”

“Clay,” he exhaled, obviously confused and hurt.

He stared at him without saying anything more.

“Clay,” Wilson tried again and made to get onto the elevator.

He stopped him and gave him a hard glare. “I said I’m not a fucking faggot, now fuck…off…” he hissed and gave him a small shove before hitting the button to close the doors.

Sam stood there utterly stupefied for several moments before he hurried to his room. He reached into his breast pocket to find his scanner. It was empty. He froze and turned, slowly walked back the way he came, trying not to look as if he was looking for something. He swallowed as he realised it was gone. Then he remembered Clay had grabbed him right around that spot. He wondered if that shit had pinched it off him. What an utter and complete asshole!

He went back to his rooms and was surprised to find Bobbi in them. She was crouched in a corner in all black. She immediately put a finger to her lips when he opened his mouth. She then pointed to a file and pushed a button on her arm and vanished.

He looked around and began fumbling with some things, taking a bit of time before going to his desk and began looking over his paperwork. It looked like any other boring letter until he put his glasses on and switched the encryption software on. The tiny computer inside of it scanned the page and pulled forth certain words.

_‘hill’, ‘Inn’,  ‘danger.’, ‘H’, ‘everywhere.’, ‘Get,’ ‘out.’_

He looked at the last word wondering what ‘ _end’, ‘with’, ‘May’_ had to do with anything. It had long passed. Or was it a warning of when things were going to come to a head. He pulled his glasses off and discreetly broke the tiny wire in the corner that powered the encryption software. He sighed and went to run off some of his frustration and worry. Halfway through his run it occurred to him that Clay hadn’t been a jackass to him just because. He was just playing his part and had done it to protect him. Or warn him. Either way he knew their time was short.

When he returned to his room he expected the message from Hill waiting for him. He went to her office with what she requested and they began working.

“Do you have your suit?” she asked him suddenly as she finished signing a piece of paper.

“My…suit?” he asked curiously.

“Yes, your Falcon suit.”

He blinked at her surprised. “Um…yes…I do.”

“On you?”

“Nearby.”

“You should get it,” she said and checked her watch. “Never mind, just leave it. Here,” she said and gave him a flash drive. “I trust you’re not afraid of heights. Get this to Nat and our boys.”

“What?” he said confused as he took it.

A loud explosion went off and shook the building. An alarm started going off and the lights slowly dimmed.

“The panel in the far corner is fake. Push it to open. Take the stairs up and follow the lights. No matter what happens I need you to promise me you won’t try to interfere or come back.”

“Maria –”

“No,” she shook her head firmly. “Sam, please…”

He couldn’t refuse her when she was giving him such an open and honest look. One he hadn’t seen since they started working together. He tucked the flash drive into an inner pocket that zipped and nodded, swallowing his fear and questions down. “Are you going to be alright?”

“I don’t know,” she said honestly and returned her attention to the doors ahead of them. “Go.”

He nodded and hurried off. He looked back at her as the panel slowly opened. Hill took a composed breath and fixed her hair before smoothing out her uniform and sat waiting patiently at the desk. He wanted to say something but felt it would ruin the moment or her concentration. He hurried up the stairs, following the small red lights until he reached the roof. They flashed all the way to the edge. He looked around and then over the side. The ground began rumbling and he looked back at the door he’d just come out of. Heat and a small blast of fire erupted out of it and his stomach churned as a thousand horrible things began flashing in his mind as to what could cause such a thing. He made to run back when the roof began to crack and crumble.

“Shit!” he hissed and stumbled back until he was forced to race towards the edge of the building. “SHIT!” he shouted and realised there was no were else to go unless he wanted to drop with the rest of the rubble that was starting to collapse underfoot. “AH SHIT!” he gasped and just jumped for it on a whim. He closed his eyes and prayed with everything he had. Strangely enough he landed on something soft.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Dividers made by Laura at http://gasara.deviantart.com/  
> Thank you for reading and feel free to let me know what you think.


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